Wearing The Same Size As Your Girl - Episode 251

Summary

Crash Dummies Podcast with Pat and Mike

Episode 251: Wearing The Same Size As Your Girl
March 25, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Pat and Mike, joined by regulars and a rotating panel of guests and listeners, riff on current events, relationship dynamics, wild purchases, social media culture, and more. The episode is a lively blend of candid conversations, listener call-ins, hot takes, and the signature irreverent humor that defines Crash Dummies Podcast.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Approaching Women: What’s Lost and What’s Still Working

[00:00–04:00]

• Pat bemoans the decline of respectful approaches to women, citing a guy who tried to flirt by insulting another woman:

  "I literally seen a dude go up to a girl and say, 'I just saw someone in that dress last week. You look way better than her.' That’s crazy." (A, 00:25)

• Mike debates whether that approach is effective, humorously noting,

  "That’s not bad though... Sometimes that’s what you gotta do." (B, 00:39)

• Reflection on how social media and public behavior have shifted, especially in unfamiliar cities.

2. Dancing and Masculinity in the Club

[03:35–06:14]

• The crew jokes about men twerking and dancing in public, interrogating social expectations and double standards:

  "There’s definitely dudes that are out here that are good at twerking, and they don’t want to be good at it." (A, 03:42)

• Conversation turns to the types of men who get celebrated for unexpected skills, whether in sports, music, or dance.

  "When somebody doesn’t look like they fit the part and they’re talented, they get way more credit." (A, 05:53)

3. Parasocial Relationships & The ‘Friendship Cuck’

[07:06–10:15]

• Listener tags the show as "friendship cucks," i.e., people who enjoy watching friends’ dynamics from afar.
• Pat explains the term 'cuck' in detail, with much laughter.

  "A cuck is someone who gets off on their partner having sex with other people while they watch." (A, 07:48)

• Broader discussion on loneliness—“we get lonely too, bro”—and the illusion of influencers’ perfect lives.

4. Money Abroad: Currency, Spending Habits, and Restaurant Anxiety

[11:06–13:24]

• Pat and Mike discuss how spending money feels less real in other countries, and the tricks of not converting currency in your head.

  "If I go somewhere to get food while we in London, I gotta buy that food… imagine if in America all our tags had different currencies." (A, 11:59)

• How not seeing prices on fancy restaurant menus creates “roulette” anxiety, especially when dating.

5. Group Spending vs. Personal Spending

[13:24–14:44]

• Funny examination of how they’re frugal with personal cash but generous with the podcast’s business account:

  "If it’s $5,000 in a business account and we had a bar, we like, get this, shots on us!...We gave it right back to the fans. And who the are we?" (A, 14:07)

• Reflecting on making experiences, not profit, especially at live shows.

6. Social Media, Messy Culture & Celebrity Hypocrisy

[14:57–18:17]

• Critique of gossip accounts like The Shade Room, and the public’s obsession with celebs’ personal lives.
• The crew jokes about rapper hypocrisy and contradictions in public personas:

  "You had me ready out here to bust some bricks down. Whole time. Your son got a college education." (A, 16:50)

7. Will and Jada: The Internet’s Most “Entertaining” Couple

[17:57–21:16]

• Pat submits Will and Jada as the GOAT of celebrity couples “for the content.”

  "They give us something every single year." (A, 18:17)

• Clip of Jada discussing enjoying her own space; Pat notes the imbalance of narratives, questioning emasculation and control:

  "It almost puts Will into...does this person have control in their relationship?" (A, 20:15)

8. Open Relationships and Boundaries

[21:31–22:42]

• Pros and cons of open relationships, with personal lines drawn:

  "I just would never do an open relationship...now, like, this person has basically all this access to me...Somebody gotta die." (A, 21:59)

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Listener Call-Ins: Money Regrets & Weird Purchases

A. High School Mistakes & Relationship Spending

[23:30–27:01]

• Listener shares buying her high school boyfriend a $1,500 necklace and faking financial dominance at grad dinner—big regrets!

  "I let him flex on the gram with my money...He broke up with me right after." (E, 26:09)

• The guys marvel at the expense and the life lessons learned.

B. Witchcraft for Revenge

[30:35–34:34]

• Listener paid a witch on Etsy to “ruin” her ex’s life after being cheated on:

  "I just paid her to do what she does...I think it worked. He went broke. He kept having to transfer schools." (E, 31:18)

• The hosts discuss the karmic dangers of such things—“when you open yourself up to witchcraft, you opening it up to be done back to you.” (A, 32:59)

C. Designer Condoms & Fake Record Deals

[35:14–38:59]

• Listener bought a fake Louis V condom (for show, not for use) and was later scammed for $1,200 by a “record executive.”

  "He had the Louis V condom...but the package had the monogram." (D, 36:42)

• Another listener details buying a Harry Potter-themed butt plug (unused) as a gag gift from his girlfriend.

D. Power Dynamics and Oversharing

[47:37–52:10]

• Callers share stories of social media drama, “delusional” relationship moments, and airing relationship business to get the truth out of partners’ networks.
• The dangers of not defining relationships up front are emphasized.

E. Live Listener Music & Social Media Apologies

[52:49–55:13]

• A listener apologizes for publicly clowning his friend’s music, hoping to repair their friendship after a viral clip.

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Deleted Tweets: Sports and Celebrity News

[56:25–59:53]

• Review of wild, deleted tweets in sports—insensitive reactions to player injuries, confusion between Tyler Perry and Tyler the Creator, LeBron “snitching.”
• Obituary humor:

  "Obituary says puff, puff, pass—and it’s got three pictures of the person smoking." (A, 59:24)

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Relationships: Shoe (and Hoodie) Size Dilemma

[64:27–68:35]

• Major debate: could you date someone with the same shoe size?

  "Someone who’s 5’9, that wears an 11...Ain’t nothing I can do with that. Sorry, you ain’t about to be slipping my shoes." (A, 65:56)

• The anxiety of seeing a partner wear hoodies or shoes that might be from an ex.

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Live Tour Announcements and Listener Community

[68:35–70:41]

• Multiple tour stops announced: Chicago, New York, Atlanta, Nashville, Baltimore, Philly, Boston, Charlotte, Raleigh, Cleveland, Toronto, Detroit.
• Urging listeners to buy tickets directly from the website (no resellers).
• Listener shoutouts internationally (Ireland).

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Last Meals and Death Row Choices

[71:47–75:21]

• Pat chooses a last meal intended for maximum cleanup chaos:

  "My death row meal would be boiled eggs, baked beans, pinto beans, kidney beans, sardines, whole milk, laxatives..." (A, 72:04)

• Mike just wants to eat sunflower seeds one by one to waste time.
• Brief history/banter about methods of execution and what makes a “good” ending in movies for Black characters ("Set It Off," "Hardball").

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Award Shows, Acting, and Character-Building Roles

[75:21–78:07]

• Do you deserve to win an Oscar if you don’t attend?
• How the most hated movie characters are often the best actors.
• Shout-outs and critique of Michael B. Jordan, Ryan Coogler, and celebration trends (like taking your Oscar to In-N-Out Burger).

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Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties & Gender Stereotypes

[81:05–86:09]

• A female listener asks how men behave at bachelor parties, especially as “best man” in Cancun.
• Pat and Mike break down the different types of bachelor events—activity-based vs. clubbing/strip clubs—and the decline of “wild” parties due to social media surveillance.
• Commentary on the weirdness of “hired attention,” like finger food served on naked bodies at fancy parties.

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Masculine/Feminine Energy in Social Environments

[86:05–87:19]

• The guys explain why a mix of genders makes for a better time at both clubs and parties—“it's a different vibe when women are around and they're having fun.”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Pat, on open relationships:

  "I already don't fuck with a lot of dudes... Now this person has basically all this access to me." (A, 21:59)

• Listener, on buying a high school boyfriend a necklace:

  "It was, like, $1,500... After that, he broke up with me on the Fourth of July." (E, 25:10–27:12)

• Listener, on witchcraft revenge:

  "I just paid her to do what she does. I think it worked... He went broke. His life is in shambles and I’m watching it unfold." (E, 31:14–31:28)

• Pat, on Will & Jada:

  "They give us something every single year." (A, 18:17)

• Mike, on the illusion of influencers:

  "You think our life better than yours. It's all about perspective. That's crazy." (B, 10:26)

• Pat, on sharing shoe size with a partner:

  "Someone who's 5'9, that wears an 11... I'm not about to be looking for my shoes." (A, 65:56)

• Pat, on death row meal:

  "My death row meal would be boiled eggs, baked beans, pinto beans, kidney beans, sardines, whole milk, laxatives... they gonna have to clean up hella." (A, 72:04–72:33)

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Closing Announcements

• Tour Dates throughout March–May in major US cities and Canada.
• Instructions to buy only from the official site, not scalpers.
• Carrie promotes Daily Brain Squeeze podcast and Milwaukee Brewers hosting.
• Pat jokes about merch ideas and directs listeners to his TikTok.
• Laughter about aging out of podcasting, maintaining genuine friendships, and the lifetime bond between Pat and Mike (with some tongue-in-cheek threats about ending friendships at age 50).

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [00:00–04:00] Approaching women & club behavior
• [07:06–10:15] Friendship cuck & podcast dynamics
• [13:24–14:44] Business vs. personal spending
• [17:57–21:16] Will and Jada—Celebrity relationship breakdown
• [23:30–27:01] Listener call-in: $1,500 necklace story
• [30:35–34:34] Witchcraft revenge purchase
• [35:14–38:59] Designer condom & rap scam story
• [64:27–68:35] Shoe size debate—"Wearing the Same Size as Your Girl"
• [72:04–75:21] Last meal on death row discussion
• [81:05–86:09] Bachelor/Bachelorette party etiquette
• [87:43–88:23] Show wrap-up, merchandise announcement

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Tone & Language

True to form, the Crash Dummies Podcast keeps things raw, unfiltered, humorous, and conversational, addressing relationship drama, social dynamics, and wild listener stories with a blend of joking, honesty, and streetwise wisdom. The banter is fast, engaging, and often self-deprecating, making even outlandish topics feel relatable.

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For new listeners:
This episode is packed with laughs, inside jokes, and the kind of “real talk” Crash Dummies fans love—whether you’re here for relationship debates, social commentary, or wild-edged advice. Don’t miss the segments on open relationships, weirdest purchases, and whether you’d share hoodies (or shoes) with your girl!

Transcript

[A]

You know. You know what's being lost right now is, you know, shout out to international Women's Century, you know, shirts on sale right now. But what's being lost is, like, men knowing how to approach a woman. I'm not talking about, like, what. Whatever conversation happens between you and that woman after you introduce yourself, that's between y'.

[B]

All.

[A]

I'm not here to give relationship advice.

[B]

Yeah, but.

[A]

But the approach I've been seeing, like, the couple that I've caught have been crazy. I literally seen a dude go up to a girl and say, I just saw someone in that dress last week. You look way better than her.

[B]

That's not bad, though.

[A]

That's.

[B]

That's not bad. That's not a bad shot.

[A]

No, no, no, no. Putting down another woman to get another woman is crazy.

[B]

Come on, now. I mean, that's what you got to do sometimes.

[A]

If. I mean, women like it.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, they like that.

[A]

Nah, that was crazy. She threw a drink in that face.

[C]

Really?

[A]

D. She said that was me. No, for real. Go get your shirts, though. Unless you. Unless you on.

[B]

I think they might be sold out.

[A]

You think they sold out by now?

[B]

Yeah, a lot of the sizes are

[A]

already pretty low, but not all the sizes.

[B]

Not all the sizes.

[A]

So you big. Y' all still got a chance. Some big ass shirts left. Yo, yo.

[B]

That's not what we doing.

[A]

Hello.

[B]

Hey, the radio is for people who are driving

[D]

into this guy. I'll drive.

[B]

Welcome to Crash Dummies podcast. Hey. Welcome to Crash Dummies podcast. What episode is this? It doesn't matter what episode it is. It's in the title. Chicago. Somebody's always getting mad the way I say it, but I don't care.

[A]

What's the. What's the other way?

[B]

Chicago. Chicago.

[A]

What you say?

[B]

Chicago.

[A]

Oh, okay, maybe I'm off the loop too.

[B]

Tickets are pretty low. So please get your tickets by the time you guys are here in this or to be probably Wednesday. So hopefully they're not sold out by then.

[A]

You got one day to get your ticket. Yeah, you literally should be online right now. Just literally let go of the will. Grab your phone. Fuck traffic.

[B]

We'll wait for you. We'll wait for you. Yeah, like, and subscribe the. The podcast, obviously. Patreon. We got Crash. That means merch dot com. Crash. That means live. Live, Atlanta, Nashville. After Chicago, we're gonna see y'. All. So get your tickets. Don't wait till last minute.

[C]

Come on.

[B]

New York is very low. Tickets, like, they. It could be sold out by the Time this is out so don't wait on that. We might do a second show. We might not. We don't know yet.

[A]

Yeah, it depends on how the party's looking. You know we just got a Soho membership so we don't know. It's either Soho or another show. It's either so ho or so long

[B]

since we're on tour. A thought came to me was that it is really fun to party in other cities because no one knows who you are. It's like you're never going to see this people again. So you legit can just try. Exactly like I would try a random dance like this don't know me.

[A]

You know that.

[B]

Like I don't know how to do the Dougie but this would be the place I would try to Dougie. Like in on Tik Tok. No in. In North Dakota.

[A]

No that going to make it a Tik Tok. Like why is this Mike Wall Turking Wall Tur Fargo, ND no that be crazy. Thought we would see this.

[B]

I felt like if twerking was my thing I would never do it in public. It would just be my own private thing.

[A]

No, that's actually so crazy cuz there's. Because there's definitely dudes that are out here that are good at twerking and they don't want to be good at it. You know what I'm saying? Like they definitely be like damn, that's crazy. Ain't I can do with this talent.

[C]

How they figuring out they can do that?

[A]

Oh them asking it them know they've been. They've been pushed before. Don't push me. The was that the. I can make this move.

[B]

I want my hips to tell the truth. All my hips to stop lying to me.

[A]

That's why I'd be looking at them. The dudes that dance in the club. I be looking at them weird because it's like you can do any dance to me. Like them dudes that be in the middle of the club dancing and they can hit every move that can twerk.

[C]

Do you feel like it's weird for men to dance out in the club? Like how do y' all dance? Because it is kind of weird if you just doing tick tock dance with

[A]

the woman in front of me. That's how it is. I do the Suge Knight just choke my girl. We just rock it out.

[B]

I feel like everybody has their own thing that they do that's fun for them in clubs. Yeah like do is the straight break dancing and the crumping against each Other kind of funny to me. Yes. Would I do it? Probably not. But if. If those people are enjoying themselves, then it's like, I really can't be too, like, pressed about it. It's still funny to me, but I just wouldn't do that. Also, I don't know how to dance like that.

[A]

So I'm not getting a dance battle because I'm like, I'm a medium dancer. Like, there's nothing like, you know what you can do.

[B]

Yes, exactly.

[A]

I'm going to lose. I'm going to lose to a good dancer and then I'm going to lose to a terrible dancer because everybody just like, we seen your moves before. This nigga ass. He's so ass that we actually all about to cheer him on. And you still lose. It's just like. It's just like a lose, lose situation.

[B]

Especially as you're going against, like, a nerdy white boy.

[A]

Exactly. Or like an Asian dude. Yeah, yeah, Keep doing this.

[B]

It's the same.

[A]

He keep doing the same.

[B]

Because they don't look the part. It always like. And they don't look the part. It kind of amplifies, like, their skills as well.

[A]

Exactly. That's always the thing, though. That's like the thing with anything. It's like with boxing, sports, when somebody doesn't look like they fit the part and they're talented, they get way more credit.

[B]

Yeah, that's why it goes viral more when, like, remember that one time that white girl was going viral for, like, mouthing a little baby lyric when things are out the norm and I know that whole song.

[A]

Yeah. How's she any better than me?

[C]

Yeah, Tommy too. Because Tommy be dancing here. Ain't that his name, right?

[A]

Yeah, but he black, though. He. He partially black.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, he's 25, black.

[C]

What?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, we found that out, too.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Never knew that. Shout out, Tommy.

[B]

Me

[C]

happy black history.

[A]

Hold on now. I ain't saying all that. He still can't say, but he can dance. You know what I'm saying? No, that's my guy. Somebody sent me something. They tagged us on Tik Tok. I don't know why I never check our. Our mentions. We, bro. We literally get mentioned like 10 times a day. Yeah, you don't check them because most of them be. People be like, tagging us in, like, dark humor. Like, people tagged us in like a dv. Dark humor.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And I had to re. I had to DM that person, like, never tag us again. Yeah, this not funny to us, you lame ass nigga. I just wanted you to know that. But somebody tagged us in this and they said, when I'm enjoying a podcast, then realize I'm genuinely a friendship cuck.

[B]

Is it because they, like, we don't know them in real life?

[A]

Because we don't know them in real life and then they're watching our dynamic, you know what I mean? Like, we're all friends in real life, so they feel like a friendship cuck. Like, they watching us, like, now I'm friends with y'.

[C]

All.

[B]

Some of y'.

[C]

All.

[B]

I'm friends with some of y'.

[A]

All. No, no, no. You niggas are cucks.

[C]

Break that down for me.

[A]

Oh, you don't know what a cuck is?

[C]

No.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

This is perfect.

[B]

Okay,

[A]

listen.

[B]

Well, it's interesting.

[A]

So a cuck is someone who gets off on their partner having sex with other people while they watch in the same room. So usually, like, cut. Like, somebody saw that chair over there on Live, and they said that's a cut chair. Because that's usually where the partner is,

[B]

like, away from everything. Yeah, with a good view.

[A]

It could be men or women, but it's majority men that do it, that, like, want it. And most of the time it's because in. In the situations I've seen, because we had somebody on the podcast that was also a cook, it's because the woman wants to sleep around and the guy just, like, wants to be there. So they have some type of open relationship. But usually, like, in open relationships, it's always like, mismatch, because it's easier for a woman to find a partner than it is a man. Especially if you like talking about open relationships. Because don't care. You know what I'm saying?

[B]

You think it's harder for a guy to.

[A]

What?

[C]

I always like ugly.

[A]

No, I don't. Not anywhere. Like, so, yeah, it depends on, like,

[B]

what you're going for. Okay.

[A]

Like, you could just take a couple. Let's say the couple, they're both like sevens on the scale of, like, whatever they're being rated on. If they say, hey, we're both going to go to a club and see how quickly we can leave with somebody to hook up with. A woman could literally walk into 720 in about 10 minutes. She found a dude and they're walking out of there, that dude is literally probably in handcuffs, cuz he's like, why are you around here asking Sex. He in jail, talking about. She talking about, I'm almost finished, baby, I'mma come get you out. I hate this Game.

[B]

That is true.

[A]

But that's what a cuck is though.

[C]

That's interesting. So they're saying, so there's a friendship. Cuck.

[A]

Yeah, like you enjoying someone's friendship from afar and you're not involved.

[C]

That sounds so sad. They sound lonely.

[A]

Yeah. I feel like it's for like, if you label it as a cuck, it's like cuz you enjoy it though. It's not like. It's not a bad thing.

[C]

They like that.

[A]

They like watching the pod. So we're not calling our listeners though.

[B]

So that's just let y' all know that.

[A]

Just that one, I think. But also y' all gotta realize like, bruh, I know that's gonna sound crazy, but we get lonely too, bro.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like we not all. We not always together. Like, I know it look like we enjoying ourselves, and we are. I know it look like we got a lot of money and we do.

[B]

And I know I for one do not have a lot of money.

[A]

I know it look like we got nice cars. We do. But it's like you think our life better than yours. It's all about perspective. That's crazy. That's crazy.

[B]

There's definitely a couple. There's definitely a lot of listeners that have way more money than me.

[A]

No.

[C]

No.

[B]

You don't think so?

[A]

Not than me. I hate when I do that because

[B]

like, people are gonna tell you you think you're for real.

[A]

YouTube listeners are probably like dying, like, oh, that's so childish. But the audio listeners like, man, this evil motherfucker. And I never realized why they thought I was so evil. And then I started listening to us on audio sometimes just to see how my voice hear. And I'm like, I sounded serious as when I said that like them probably think I'm a damn evil person. And you're right.

[B]

Is it me or does money not seem real when you're in other countries? If I don't like when I'm in like Sweden or like Mexico, like it says, it's pesos. Right. Or sec. Right?

[A]

It's what?

[B]

Pesos.

[C]

Pesos.

[B]

Pesos. Peso. What? How would you say it?

[A]

Pesos.

[B]

Pesos. Okay.

[A]

Damn. I was wrong too. I thought it was pesos.

[B]

The. The. The number I see on there doesn't. I don't do the conversions in my head right away. So I'm more inclined to buy something that in another country than I would.

[C]

That's on purpose.

[B]

You think so?

[C]

Oh yeah.

[B]

But it's more. It's.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

They already put the dollar amount Next to it.

[A]

I think that it's just a weird concept. Also now thinking about it is because everything is necessary at that point.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Right. Like in America, I can go save money because I don't have food in the fridge. But it's just like if I go somewhere to get food while we in London, I gotta buy that food. If I come here, buy a shirt, I gotta buy a shirt that says I was in London or some. Also imagine if in America, like all our, our dollar signs, our tags had like different currencies on it.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

It would be too much.

[B]

The one thing, you know, something I dislike sometimes is when you go to expensive restaurants, sometimes they don't even put the price on the, on the menu. And when they don't put the price on the menu, it makes me feel like it's like you're playing roulette in a sense. It's like, oh, that sounds. That sounds expensive.

[C]

That sounds like you're on a date.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh my God, how embarrassing.

[B]

Oh, man. No price. 500, no price on the menu. And you always have to act cool when the bill comes. No matter what. You can't, you can't break under pressure.

[A]

I don't even look at that.

[B]

No. I'm at the point now where I don't look. I don't look because I kind of have a gauge too. Because like, usually I'm just going out to eat with my girl. So it's like, it's pretty easy to gauge. Just like, just take. I know how much everything's going to be.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I've never really been surprised on the, on the prices of things.

[A]

That's the only thing I enjoy now. That's the only thing that makes me feel like I have more money than I did 10 years ago is not paying attention to like, what I eat and what I order.

[B]

But when is the group of four? No, easy. If we eat together. It's definitely. It's always a business thing.

[A]

Oh, always a business. Yes. That's probably the bad part about us. We're so dumb. Like, if you took like, if. Okay, if we took like $5,000 of the business account, twenty five hundred dollars each. I'm that twenty five hundred dollars. I'm stingy with it. Like, oh, okay, Give my mama a couple, honey, get my sister. Ah. Nothing else. You know what I'm saying? But like, if it's 5,000 in a business account and we had a bar, we like get this shots on us. Like, it's not the same money. Like, we went, we did the Chicago show. And all the money we earned from the Chicago show, we spent it on shots for the people that came to the Chicago. Like, we gave it right back to the fans. And who the are we?

[B]

Well, we, we already wanted to. So we don't try and make money. We're trying to make an experience. Never again though.

[A]

No, I'm sorry. Chicago. I know Chicago very spoiled. As far as like the mixer thing. We are not doing the mixer. Like, that was like a one time thing. Maybe we a slide off.

[B]

That was more of a celebration for us doing our first live show.

[C]

They'll love you forever though.

[A]

Those people experience.

[B]

Yeah, we locked in. We like ig friends with some of these.

[A]

We follow like at least like 20 of them. Like, we real cool. I'm investing in some of their lives. Some of y' all making crazy ass mistakes. Like you, you need to leave that.

[B]

But that's another Crazy mistakes, but you're not cool enough with them to like call them out on it.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, just like, like, bro, should I leave him? I'll be like, come on, put the voting poll up so I can vote on this. You click on some like, yes. And then you see that. Only 19.

[B]

I know.

[A]

We like this chat. Okay, the Shade Room back in. I'm not with the Shade Room no more. I guess I really never was. But like, I don't like the way they put information out. Instead I like, if you're gonna be nasty, be all the way nasty. I would appreciate that a lot more. They, they had like a tweet about 21 Savage and said roomies, did you know 21 Savage is already a boy and girl dad? Here's everything to know about his three kids, plus their mom.

[D]

Moms.

[C]

That's so messy.

[A]

That is crazy. That is so crazy. To like, to me, like, to even make. If someone is famous, to make an article about any family, family member that's also not trying to pursue being famous. It's crazy. Like, okay, if my cousin a rapper and then the Shade Room pick. Let's say we got the biggest podcast in the world and my cousin's a rapper, he do something dumb in the Shade Room, pick it up, so be it. Like, yeah, and they was trying to pursue something. But to like go after like my sister or something like that that doesn't have anything like, to make an article about them is like crazy was in the name.

[B]

So I feel like people go there for that.

[C]

But it's like they could have been did that. And I'm sure they've done it before. It's just the timing now because of this whole lotto situation. Everybody is on my girl.

[B]

A lot of people I've seen. It was a meme about, like, I've seen y' all congrats a lot more on the pregnancy than y' all did. Y'. All. Y' all actual friends. And people were kind of getting on like her for, like, 21 savage thing. That was.

[A]

Yeah, I think because she. Her big thing was like, oh, she doesn't have a high body count. Yeah. And then she used to make fun of people for being just a baby mama and shit like that.

[C]

She never really made fun of people. She mentioned it, you know, the big mama, no kids. Everybody liked that line. But I don't think she ever was, like, going in on people who was just a baby mama.

[A]

No, no, no. I get that. But I believe that's all rappers, though. Like, Jeezy rap about selling coke, and then the nigga son smart as hell, damn near valedictorian. So it's just like, you had me ready out here to bust some bricks down. Whole time. You'll sound good at a college education. So it's just like, I feel like, as a rapper, you gotta kind of contradict yourself because there's no way you could be living your life.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And we've seen what happened when rappers live their life.

[B]

I also heard that the reason why 21 doesn't really show his face in the pictures with her is because he's still legally married, in a sense, and for citizenship reasons. And Allegedly. Allegedly. And if he does show his face in it, it does kind of. When you're kind of going through the green card process, that can kind of, like, mess with it, because. So he kind of has his way out no matter what.

[A]

Yeah, that's true.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Got a good exit plan, too.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I just wonder how long they can go without being seen together.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

We have not seen them together. Not one time. It's like, now you got a whole kid.

[B]

Yeah. Own bodies, you know.

[A]

Got to be.

[B]

Yeah. You got to be. Yeah. At that point. Yeah.

[A]

I just. I just sent you a video. Since we own Celebrity Relationships, the goat celebrity relationship, to me is Jada Pinkett Smith and Will Smith. Like, that's. Y' all don't think that that's literally the best relationship that we've ever had on the Internet ever. They give us something every single year.

[C]

Like, so you just want to be entertained.

[A]

Yes.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

This video, I think, is like, if her and Will Smith.

[D]

Will.

[B]

She says Jada Pickett Smith speaks on whether she'll ever let her husband, Will Smith, move back in with her.

[A]

Are y' all living together?

[E]

Just this beautiful connection?

[C]

We will look at that.

[A]

Not right now, but.

[E]

You will.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

Oh, yeah. That's.

[C]

Why do you say that with such clarity? Because that's.

[A]

That's what it's going to be. That's where it's headed.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

And you both are on that page.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

And, you know, but right now, I

[A]

really do enjoy myself.

[E]

You know, I've been living.

[C]

Hello. I am a. I am my mother's only child.

[E]

Right.

[A]

And so having this time that I've

[C]

had to myself has been fantastic.

[B]

Just to get to know me, you

[A]

know, even to have my house exactly

[C]

how I want it.

[A]

I don't have to be like, well, what color do you want this ball? You know what I mean?

[E]

I can just do it.

[A]

You're the chooser.

[C]

I'm the chooser.

[A]

You're the chooser.

[C]

So when you imagine your life back together, because I'm sure you've seen it, how does that look to you? We don't know yet.

[B]

I'm not all the way mad at that, though. I feel like people in her position, they're both famous in their own right. Obviously, Will Smith is. I would say Will Smith is more famous. But if you can afford to live apart and that works for y', all, I'm. I. I don't see a big problem. What do you think?

[C]

So let me get this straight. They got. I remember before, it was two separate wings of the house. Now they just got two separate houses?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I mean, I don't think they like each other. I don't think they want to be around each other.

[B]

It's like a soul tie.

[A]

It gotta be something, like, I think maybe for the kids, so the kids can see them both at the same time. I just don't like when people, like, make statements like that and they don't, like, put it out there as, like, hey, the other person could be thinking like this, too. You know what I'm saying? Like, oh, I want my space. I want my space. All she had to do was say, and Will probably wants his space, too.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And that would kind of make it even.

[B]

And it says, like, move in with her.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

It's just like the title did.

[A]

The title did. But, like, sometimes, like, I feel like when people make statements, which I feel like she has in the past, and, like, other people having a relationship, it almost puts, like, Will Smith into, like, this. It's like, the same thing Aisha Curry did.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's just like, it almost puts them into, like, damn, does this person have control in their relationship?

[B]

It's like the person I really like demasculates them and stuff, like. Or is it emasculate or demasculate?

[A]

Demasculate. I don't know.

[B]

I guess I think it's emasculated

[A]

over here.

[C]

That is interesting, though. A whole, like, two separate houses. I don't know. I think that's kind of crazy.

[B]

I feel like it makes sense for them, though, because their relationship was already kind of weird and just different than the. The traditional relationship. So that's just a non traditional way of their living and they can afford to do that.

[A]

Yes. And I don't. And also, like, with them, obviously, she's making, like, headlines. I don't know if that's part of their ploy, though. You know what I mean? I could definitely see that because having us talk about it anytime. Jada, say something about Will and make the news. The same thing with Aisha.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And Steph, maybe they having those conversations, like, yo, I'm about to say this about you because I'm also selling this book.

[E]

Look.

[A]

So I'm about to tell them you don't be wiping the toilet seat. You cool with that?

[C]

Just room for more entanglements.

[B]

I feel like they had that exactly, didn't they? They had the open relationship. Yeah. You need separate houses for that.

[C]

It went from separate wings.

[A]

Wow, man. Some.

[B]

If you're having an open relationship and you can afford it, I would. I would get separate houses.

[A]

I just would never do an open relationship because it's just like. Like, I already don't. I really don't with a lot of dudes. Right. And then, like, now, like, this person has basically all this access to me. It's like an open relationship is different from, like, your ex moving on because, like, you're. The woman is still actively coming back, getting information from me. Maybe we're still hooking up. And then you're going to pillow talk with the other dudes. You're getting current information. Yeah. And you're giving it to this dude now. Like, we supposed to be cool, too. I was just like, I don't know, man. Somebody gotta die. Can only be one. Only one of us. My.

[E]

Hello.

[B]

Hello, Hello.

[A]

Oh, go ahead, Gene.

[B]

Talk to her. Gene.

[A]

They want that ass.

[E]

Ttm. I don't. I'm not Spanish.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

I knew I. I knew she was. I knew she was. Was running out of vocab. As soon as I heard that second sentence, I asked her where she from? She said, good.

[E]

No, I didn't hear that. Oh, where am I from? I'm from New Jersey, but I live in Greensboro, North Carolina.

[A]

Okay. Okay. You come to the New York show, right?

[E]

No, I'm going to Charlotte.

[A]

Oh, you going to the Charlotte show?

[E]

Yeah, I'm in. I'm in North Carolina now, so I'll be at the Charlotte show.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

Type shit.

[B]

Raleigh, too.

[A]

See you soon.

[E]

But see, y' all dropped that after Charlotte, and Raleigh would have been better, but I already got my ticket for Charlotte.

[D]

I know.

[B]

Sally.

[A]

To Charlotte, bro. We gonna. We got it.

[B]

We got to go to both. What's the strangest thing that you've ever spent your money on?

[E]

Okay. When I was in high school, I had a boyfriend, and he was lacking funds. He wasn't in school, so he was able to work. I was the one in school, and he was lacking funds. And I paid for his jewelry for my promotion. And the necklace was quite expensive. And that was the strangest or dumbest thing I've ever spent my money on. Ever since then, I've been very stingy when it came to my money and men.

[B]

Damn.

[A]

You based your whole life off one interaction? Okay, how much did the necklace cost?

[E]

That's what men do.

[A]

Yeah. I mean. Yeah. I mean, you gonna say, oh, I got a flaw, but everybody else got a flaw, too. How much.

[B]

The money thing's not a flaw.

[A]

Yes, it is a flaw. If she's stingy for the rest of her life because of one.

[E]

No, no, no, no, no. That was, like, over. That was, like, 10 years ago. But now, like, in my older years, like, I've spent money on my. Like, my boyfriend now, so, you know, money's. But it took a long time to get there. Everybody in between. They get anything out of me. No money, no nothing.

[A]

You just have to find the right one and trick on

[E]

Twitter. How much was the necklace?

[B]

Yeah,

[E]

It was, like, now we're thinking, like, 2017, high school years. I'm. I'm working at Wendy's, so this was a lot back then.

[A]

Okay, that's four for four.

[E]

It was, like 1500.

[B]

God damn.

[D]

That's a lot.

[A]

Now, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. What? Like, how much is a four for four right now? What was a four for four? It's like a biggie bag now or something.

[B]

What do you mean? How much is the four for four? Yeah.

[A]

Oh,

[E]

Did they even have. But then again, I think also what

[D]

was

[E]

not Okay,

[B]

I actually wanted to

[A]

Google, like, the taxes and. But that's still stupid.

[E]

Listen, hear me out. And then there's within that same relationship, just probably like a month afterwards, graduation. My brother had gave me graduation money, and I let him flex on the ground with my money. And I also like my. My graduation dinner. To make it look like he paid, I slid him some money so it could look like he paid for Girls

[A]

in love in high school. You didn't hold it down. Like, where. What is he doing now? Do you. Have you kept tabs on him?

[E]

I don't know.

[A]

You don't even know what will be your life, huh?

[E]

Like, we. We. We're. Like, we're mutual, but I. Like, I know of him. Like, I don't keep tabs. Like, oh, my God, what you're doing today. Like, how's life?

[B]

No, not those type of tabs. Just, like, what he's doing. Just, like, what he's doing in life. Like, how's his life going?

[E]

It seems like it's going good.

[A]

Okay, Maybe he needs a little money for a little startup. You know what I'm saying?

[E]

The dumbest I've ever done. Yes.

[A]

The 1500 necklace. He still got to have that somewhere. Like, that's just not something.

[B]

That's not a cheap nec.

[A]

Yeah, it's not something you lose over the years.

[E]

I'm not gonna lie. He probably pawned it because life was rough, so he probably bonded. But after that, like, literally Fourth of July, he. He broke up with me. So.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, damn.

[A]

Real fireworks. What?

[E]

Literally May, June, July, What?

[A]

What's the most expensive thing you bought? Your current boyfriend?

[E]

We've been together. Well, we just broke up, but we've been together for, like, a little minute, so I don't. It's like, things over the course of the time.

[A]

Why y' all break up?

[E]

Huh?

[A]

Why y' all break up?

[E]

Why? Or when?

[A]

Why then?

[E]

When we listen to y' all together? So he'll be listening to this.

[A]

I mean, it's too late. You already talking about another. You already done pissed him off.

[B]

Y' all might. Y' all might get back together.

[E]

Yeah, no, definitely. We might. Like, we definitely might. So it's not. It's really not. No, it's like, y' all come to

[B]

the live show together. We'll get y' all back together.

[A]

Hell, no. I'm gonna make it worse.

[E]

I'm gonna be at the live stream.

[A]

I'm gonna make y'.

[D]

All.

[B]

Hey, whoever her boyfriend is, come to live show, too.

[A]

I'm gonna make Y' all switch phones at the live show, though.

[E]

Oh, I mean, that's fine. Like, we could do that.

[A]

That's what the problem is right there. I knew it. I knew it. It's. It's something in his phone.

[E]

No, it's nothing in his phone.

[B]

No, y' all seriously, pull up to. Y' all should pull up the live show. We can talk about this on stage.

[E]

I got my ticket.

[B]

Okay? Hey, hey, look, she.

[A]

She tired of paying for. I said I got my. I done done

[B]

come to the live show.

[A]

Come to the live show, Brody.

[D]

No.

[E]

It's on a. It's on a Wednesday.

[B]

Okay, what does that mean?

[A]

She got her ticket.

[E]

Everybody can't make it. He lives, like, towards the Raleigh area,

[B]

so he don't know what he can make and what he don't.

[A]

Hey, bro, come to the show. Come to the show. Where we putting her next to another.

[B]

We'll give you a free ticket to the show if he comes to the show. Tell him to come to the show. We'll give you a free ticket, bro. Not you, but the. The guy.

[E]

Are y' all sure? Because I'll let him know right now.

[A]

Yeah, tell him. Tell him. Tell him.

[B]

But y' all have to come. Y' all gonna come together, though, and we're gonna pick on y', all, so

[E]

just let y' all know how he gonna get his free ticket, then.

[A]

He just gotta DM us. It'll be at will.

[C]

Car.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Or we could just, like, we control the venue,

[E]

because I heard with my set, like, y' all not gonna pick on us.

[B]

Not pick. Not pick on you. But we want. We don't want to die. We just want to dissect y'. All situation, consult for content.

[E]

I'll.

[D]

I'll do.

[E]

I'll see what. I'll allow y' all to dissect.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Okay. Yeah, you can. You can literally tell it. Like, we could be like, yo, where you at? And then you raise your hand and be like, yo, how your day going? And then you could just be like, no, I'm not with y'.

[B]

All.

[A]

We'd just be like, all right, we'll move on. That's just the risk we taking right now. But best believe, if y' all don't say nothing, we kicking both.

[E]

No, you're not kicking me out. I paid for my ticket.

[A]

Whatever.

[B]

Security. All right, you have a good one.

[E]

Hi.

[A]

Happy International Woman Century Decade Day.

[E]

Thank. Thank you.

[A]

She said thank you.

[E]

Thank you so much.

[A]

You're welcome. Has anybody told you that lately?

[E]

No, actually.

[A]

Okay. I'm glad you got it from us.

[E]

Yeah, me too.

[A]

All three of us.

[B]

All right, what's the strangest thing you've ever spent money on?

[E]

I paid an Etsy witch to do witchcraft on my ex.

[B]

They have witches on Etsy?

[E]

Yeah, they have everything on Etsy.

[B]

So was it, like, making, like, the. Like, a voodoo doll?

[E]

No, I don't know what she did. I just paid her to do what she does. I don't know.

[A]

On your eggs? You didn't even. You didn't even check in to, like, what she was actually doing?

[E]

No, I didn't care. Like, what.

[A]

What did you ask her to do?

[E]

Just to ruin his life. I feel like he ruined mine.

[A]

So did it work?

[E]

It was his turn. I think it did, actually.

[A]

What happened in his life?

[E]

I think it worked well. He played basketball.

[C]

Like, D1 basketball. He kept having a transfer, like, he

[E]

was on the bench. He went broke.

[C]

He even called me one day and asked me for money.

[E]

So I'm like, oh, this gotta be working, bro. This nigga's life is in shambles and I'm watching it unfold.

[C]

So it had to be working.

[B]

What'd he do to you?

[E]

He just was not a good person. And he cheated on me a whole bunch of times. I guess maybe it was my fault.

[A]

Why was it? Why you say that?

[E]

Because I kept taking it back after he cheated.

[A]

So what was the final straw?

[C]

I went to see him one time and there was another girl as his lock screen.

[E]

And, yeah, that was it for me.

[A]

That's his lock screen.

[D]

Oh, my God.

[A]

He didn't even care about you enough to change his lock screen. He said.

[E]

Exactly.

[C]

That's what I'm saying. Like, he went to the bathroom, left his.

[E]

Maybe he did it on purpose. He went to the bathroom, left his phone sitting on his bed.

[C]

I clicked it and it was another girl.

[A]

On purpose? For sure. On purpose.

[B]

He could have did it. Easy now. You could do a little swiping thing now.

[A]

Yeah, you can change it. He could have changed it.

[E]

Yeah. So it was on purpose? It was on purpose.

[A]

Oh, that's crazy.

[B]

When you went to Etsy to look for the witch, what was your, like, criteria you're looking for? Because obviously you put it into, like, the search bar.

[C]

I've seen it on.

[E]

I seen people talking about Etsy witches on Tick Tock, and I just. Just commented, like, which one is the best one?

[C]

And everybody was sending me the same girl, so I just paid her.

[A]

Oh, that's. That's crazy. One send her link to the D.M.S.

[E]

yeah, I will.

[A]

I'm just letting you know when you. When you open yourself up to. To witchcraft, you opening it up to be done back to you.

[E]

I know. So it's okay.

[A]

I'm about to see if this really work.

[C]

Are you gonna do witchcraft on me?

[B]

Hey, man, I wonder what the same people use the witchcraft on each other.

[A]

That's what I'm saying. Do it cancel out?

[E]

I don't know. Maybe.

[B]

Does he know you did this to him?

[E]

No, he doesn't even know.

[A]

Okay. Okay.

[E]

Hopefully he doesn't find out.

[A]

Okay, what's your last message to him? Because it sound like you still not over this.

[E]

I am over it. I. I just hope his life keeps failing.

[A]

That's kind of crazy.

[E]

Honestly.

[A]

Like, how. How old are you?

[E]

24.

[A]

24? When. When did this happen?

[E]

Maybe, like, had to be like three or four years ago.

[A]

Hey, you gotta let it go. Ain't gonna lie.

[E]

I can't.

[A]

Why you can't let it go? You ain't found a new man?

[E]

No, I. I do have a boyfriend,

[C]

but I just feel like when people do me wrong, like, I have to.

[E]

Like, I just can't. Like, I just can't let that slide.

[B]

Does your boyfriend know about this?

[E]

No.

[B]

So he doesn't even know, like, there's a threat that if he's not good to you? Yeah, he doesn't know.

[E]

Exactly.

[C]

He doesn't even know.

[E]

So let's hope he keeps up the good work because he can be next.

[A]

You know what? You know what? You're the best.

[E]

Thanks.

[A]

You're welcome. I don't know what these two other think about you, but I think you're awesome.

[E]

Thank you.

[B]

Ducking the smoke.

[E]

I think so, too.

[A]

I really like her. Like, I just feel like we just vibe and we'll be best friends. I feel like she always gonna look out for me.

[E]

Yeah, I will. I'll do witchcraft on somebody for y'. All.

[A]

Okay. Appreciate it.

[B]

All right.

[C]

You're welcome.

[A]

Okay. There's a DJ in Cleveland that.

[B]

All right, you have a good one.

[E]

I got you.

[D]

Oh, thank you.

[E]

Y', all, too.

[B]

Yo, yo, yo.

[D]

What's good with y'? All?

[B]

What up? What up?

[A]

Sound like he in a Transformer.

[B]

What's up?

[A]

Optimus Pro.

[B]

You a truck driver?

[D]

Hell, yeah.

[A]

Oh, yeah. You on that road? You. You a long distance truck driver? Short distance.

[D]

I run the whole East Coast. You feel me?

[A]

East Coast? You married?

[D]

Hell, no.

[A]

Okay, good, Good. You know better, huh?

[B]

In the relationship?

[D]

Nah, my. Just left me yesterday.

[A]

Oh, damn. I see why. All right.

[B]

Come on, I got a question for you. What was your worst purchase that you ever made?

[D]

All right, so look, I was in high school and a downtown in Baltimore. He had all like, the fake Louie, fake Gucci shit. And the had the Louis V condom. Ain't never had that, you feel me?

[B]

Did you use it?

[D]

Yeah, but I used it on the wrong joint though. You feel me?

[B]

What do you mean?

[D]

Like? Like, raw is love. Don't get it twisted, right?

[E]

Yeah,

[D]

I go raw and all the bad joints, but it was just one sketchy joint. And I was like, damn, I only got one rub. Was $70. You feel me?

[A]

What did the condom. Because I'm sure the packaging was Louis V. Like, what did the actual condom look like?

[D]

It was just a regular rubber.

[A]

It ain't had a monogram on it?

[D]

No, hell no. But the package had the monogram. So, like, you know, I mean, you know, high school, you know, I mean, like, you got a rabbit. I be like, yeah. And I pull out that Louis V joint, don't put it on, throw it back in the wallet. She'll be like, oh, you know what I mean?

[A]

And then you have sex for all this stupid. So you bought the condom as an accessory. Like, yeah, I could you with the designer. Like, yes, yes, yes. I feel it. Like, the CIA does a very good job.

[B]

Like, what was y' all the answer

[D]

other joint? I bought a fake record deal, man, during Company, you know what I'm saying? A was rapping and a hit me in my DM talking about, man, I got connections. I can get you signed. I was like, oh, this is my big break, yo. Yo seemed official. He sent me a whole email. He was like, yeah, I can get your. The little Uzi. The Uzi producer. I can get your to his dj. His dj. Oh, you gotta do a sign with me, but to sign with me, I need 1200. I was like, 1200? That's crack. I mean, yeah, I said that.

[A]

Like, how much. How much music did you have out before that? Like, were you a well known rapper before that?

[D]

I mean, I was well known in the area, but the area wasn't too big.

[A]

You feel me?

[B]

10 by 10

[A]

that went triple platinum. In the lunch break room

[B]

that ran the cul de sac everybody talking about, man.

[A]

Man, play that one again, bro. I got y', all, bro.

[B]

Oh, man, when'd you find out it was a scam?

[D]

After my ain't blow up and I ain't hear from that again. I said that 1200. I was telling the back. I was like, yeah, so little Uzi DJ gonna play my right? And I think I ain't never hit my. He never hit my back.

[A]

Tell me this tape ain't fall out your pocket, Skinny.

[D]

Yeah, type.

[A]

Type. Where the song at?

[D]

I mean, everywhere. Oh, my. All my. Still on Apple music, still on YouTube.

[B]

And what's the song that you thought that little Uzi was gonna hop on or. Or play?

[D]

Oh, my. Is called Nasty.

[B]

Nasty by who?

[D]

By me. FBE Messy.

[B]

FBE Messy.

[D]

Messy.

[A]

Yeah, like m E S S Y or S S I?

[D]

Nah, like, like the soccer player.

[A]

Okay, that's tough. I with that.

[B]

Let me see.

[A]

Not nasty we could work on, but I with the messy.

[B]

Wait, what's it called?

[D]

Is it done?

[B]

Filthy Party. You got some interesting song upset that's not on YouTube.

[D]

You don't see nasty on there.

[B]

Hold on.

[A]

Nah, bro, it's. It's way far down the algorithm. We scrolling, though. Yeah, you got black ball. We about to get to it.

[B]

I see. I see it.

[A]

I see about five more scrolls. We to that.

[B]

Hold on.

[D]

They say my right past the messy highlight.

[A]

Hold on.

[C]

Hey.

[A]

No, I'm not gonna lie. Hold on.

[E]

Hold on.

[B]

Hey.

[D]

I was like, damn, we have to

[B]

listen to the song.

[A]

Hey, man, that the. The song. Not bad. I'm not gonna lie. Like, with the right. With the right audience and stuff, with the right music video, like, I could see that being like a tick tock trend or something.

[B]

If I get.

[A]

If that get to the right DJs.

[B]

You know what I'm saying?

[A]

Like, if Uzi heard the.

[D]

That. Yeah, if Uzi had it. We. I have been shoulder rolling on,

[A]

bro. I'm not gonna lie, bro. If you send us 1,200 right now, we. We got you, bro. We'll play. We get this to JZ immediately.

[D]

All right.

[A]

Get ready to throw up the rocks.

[E]

My.

[B]

We got you.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

Oh, man.

[A]

Oh. Definitely gonna hear this one, though.

[B]

That was funny.

[D]

What's up with y'?

[E]

All?

[A]

What's up with you?

[B]

What up? What up? Why you got your camera on?

[D]

Yeah, I'm on the way. I was just. I was just listening to y'.

[E]

All.

[D]

When I went to sleep, I took a nap and I was in, like, the date night one.

[A]

Oh, the dating show?

[D]

Yeah, like, y' all did like, the date show. Like the three fat guys and y' all, like, pulling like a little man. Mexican dude.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

Watch a dummy's podcast.

[A]

No, that was some 2B he was watching. Yeah, he had a dream about that.

[B]

I got a question for you. What's the strangest thing you spend money on.

[D]

I, I, so I, I answered the question. I was with my girl, but it was like, y' all know what Spencer's is?

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

To be in the mall.

[D]

Yeah. So like, yeah, like you go to the mall, you go to Spencer's. They got all like the freaky stuff in there, right? So like we, me and her, we went in Spencer's and she was like trying to get me to buy this shirt because she was buying like a, a rose toy. So I was like, all right, cool. So then I go in the back and there's like all like, he's like these like, I don't even know what you want to call them, like dildos and stuff like that, all the freaky stuff. And then she saw it as like Harry Potter butt plug she wanted me to buy. And she was like, do you want it? And I was like, you can buy it from if you want me to. So now I got a Voldemort butt plug sit in my room for. Hello.

[A]

For who?

[D]

Like, like just, like just, just so, like, just for it. Like, it's not for anybody. I'm not going to use it.

[A]

Like, decoration is yours?

[D]

I guess. Yeah, like it's just sitting there.

[A]

Does she use butt plugs?

[D]

Not to my knowledge.

[A]

So you bought a butt plug and it's at your place?

[D]

Yeah, well, no, she bought it for me, but I'm not, I don't use it. Hello.

[B]

You don't find it weird that she bought you a butt plug?

[D]

No, like she be doing that stuff all the time. Like she just be like, joke on me and stuff.

[A]

Name some other jokes.

[B]

Joking until you agree to do it.

[D]

I mean, I'm not, I'm not too surprised. Like she'd be doing stuff like that all the time.

[A]

Let's hear, let's hear. Like, what's some other ones?

[D]

Like some other weird stuff she's done? I mean, she like has like some handcuffs, like some glittery handcuffs. Us like that type of stuff.

[A]

Okay, we got handcuffs, butt plug. What else we got?

[B]

Have you guys used the handcuffs?

[D]

Have we, yeah, we use them once.

[B]

Okay, so that's one item you use. Okay.

[A]

He just got this butt plug.

[B]

Gotta give it time. She got, she gotta joke about it a little bit more until be like, I'm down.

[A]

No, she, you, you gonna be naked one day and she gonna push you on the couch like, oh, let me.

[D]

Your, my friend, my friend. He was just saying that.

[A]

No, that got a spell up his booty. Now he gonna be riding. You know how they ride broomsticks? He gonna be riding it the other way, dude.

[B]

No.

[A]

What? What? No, no, no, no. What other gifts they gave you that she gave you?

[D]

Whatever she gave me. Yeah, that's like. That's kind of like the norm. Like, not normal, but, like, that's like. I feel like other people do that stuff, though. Like, I'm not the only one. You know what I mean?

[A]

You're the only person I've ever heard of this girlfriend buying him a butt plug, and neither one of you guys use a butt plug.

[D]

But I mean, like, it's just. Just for. I mean, let me think about something else.

[E]

She's.

[D]

Bobby's like, oh, she did give me a shirt. It says I love porn on it.

[A]

Yeah, that's.

[D]

That's another thing she got me.

[A]

Something's going down, bro.

[B]

We don't know what it is yet, bro, but she's cooking up something.

[D]

My friend, he was like. Like, one day she was gonna, like, drug me, and then, like, you know,

[B]

I wouldn't go that far.

[D]

I doubt it, though. See, see, that's. That's wifey, though. Like, we're. We're locked in.

[A]

Yeah, you're about to be locked in for real.

[B]

Yeah. I don't know, bro. Yeah, she.

[D]

But, yeah.

[B]

Protect yourself, bro.

[D]

I. I will. You know how I get down.

[B]

Hey, by the by, what you've told us, I really do not. I'm a little confused. But, hey, 2026, we not judging.

[A]

We're not judging you, bro.

[B]

Everybody has their own kinks.

[A]

Yeah. That butt plug not there for no reason.

[D]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no,

[E]

no, no, no, no.

[D]

Y' all doing a show in Atlanta, right?

[B]

Yeah. You coming?

[D]

Yeah, I'm gonna pull up.

[B]

All right. Just don't bring the butt plug. Yeah, leave that.

[D]

I'm gonna pull up.

[B]

All right, now.

[A]

He didn't deny it. That's your new nickname. Yeah.

[B]

Sign it.

[A]

No, that's crazy. It's crazy.

[B]

No, no, I was literally.

[A]

I would legit slap the shout out.

[B]

All right, bro. You have a good one, man.

[D]

All right. Wait, am I. Is this gonna be the podcast?

[A]

We don't know, man. You just make sure that butt plug stay unused.

[D]

Maybe all you guys.

[B]

I got you. I got you.

[A]

Hello, hello, hello.

[E]

Hi, guys.

[B]

What up?

[A]

What up? Welcome to Crash Dummies podcast, episode 251 with your host, Mike Pat. Oh, is it 252?

[B]

Oh, no. 1.

[A]

Also, you just corrected me in front of the ladies for nothing.

[C]

Cool.

[B]

Anyhow, Pat has A question for you, actually.

[E]

Okay.

[A]

Oh, is this my question? So then you trying to, like, power trip in front of her, too?

[B]

No, I was just.

[A]

I'm just saying. You're just being real weird because you weren't having this energy before she got on the phone.

[B]

That's true, man.

[A]

I was just like. But it's just like, you doing this in front of her. For what?

[B]

I'm just saying, bro, just give me that money you owe me.

[E]

I'm just trying to answer the question. Whatever y' all got for me.

[B]

No, Pat actually owed me some money, so that's kind of like that.

[A]

I told you, I got that 10 times over.

[E]

You better pay up.

[A]

All right, let's get this started so I can hop in my helicopter and leave. All right. What was your I don't give a moment? I'm sorry, I guess I could ask like that. What was your I don't give a

[E]

moment When I posted my ex on the T app? So basically, I was just trying to get information like, oh, who else is messing with this guy? Because, like, at the time, he wasn't even my man anymore. But, like, I just. Him. So I was like, who else is he around with? And, like, my post got blown up, and they were like, oh, like, three other girls posted him. And so, like, I went into the other girl's comments, and I was like, oh, hey. So, like, I literally just. Him, FYI. And she was like, oh, no. Like, he's my man. Like, you're a bird. And I was like,

[A]

You thought you had girls.

[E]

I was trying to be a girls girl.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

Like, I was like, I'm trying to be a girl's girl. And, like, I'm just letting you know. And she's like, no, you're just a bird. You just want him back. And I'm like, he was literally just over here last week. What do you mean?

[B]

I guess he's not wrong, though.

[A]

No, it sound like you. I don't like the way you talking right now. You supposed to be like, girl, both of us got played. That's how you really get under their skin. You don't, like, go back and forth and be like, he was just over there. He did that. Like, no, he's both. Both of us also.

[B]

You're not. You guys weren't. You guys weren't together at the time, right?

[E]

No, we had just, like, hooked back up. But, like, we were like, still, like, talking and things. But little did I know this guy had things going on with other women, too.

[B]

And I was like, But y' all weren't exclusive, though.

[E]

Well, in my eyes, like, delusion, right?

[A]

Oh, okay. So you admit that you're a little delusional at this point?

[E]

A little. But I mean, like, we kind of talk things out a little bit.

[A]

Oh, yeah, Talk to these out. Oh, so you let him back in again?

[E]

Yeah, so, yeah, I'll admit I was dumb. And then it was funny too, because, like, she, like, texted him off, like, a fake number. And so he called me and, like, accused me of, like, texting him and doing all this stuff, and I cussed him out and I was like, f you. That's not even me. And I just came in the house and it was hot as, and I had groceries, so I was like, how the fuck am I going to text you? I have groceries in my hand, nigga. What the fuck is.

[A]

No, that's crazy. He don't even know who it is.

[B]

That's crazy.

[A]

He got so many. Like, who is it? What are you just with me?

[B]

What you post on the T app, though, like, because you might. Were you lying?

[E]

Oh, no, I wasn't lying. I told the truth. I was like, yo, just want to know. Like, I've at least said, like, it was my situationship. Because I didn't want to say, like, my man, because, like, at least I'll admit I was delusional. So I was like, let me just say situation, because that's what it was.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

What's your relationship like now?

[E]

Well, I don't talk to him. That was, like, last year. So.

[A]

No, just like, overall, like, oh, there's

[E]

somebody in my life. Shout out to him, though. He's a real one. I love him Down.

[A]

This your boyfriend? Is it official?

[E]

No, we're not official. We're just dating.

[D]

So.

[E]

He's really sweet.

[A]

That's where you. I mean, you gotta learn your lesson from the last time.

[B]

You gotta define at the beginning all these little.

[E]

No, so we. We definitely define things, but definitely, like, that TF died down, so definitely probably wouldn't post anybody again because I don't get sued.

[A]

It's a Facebook. Are you gonna post this dude?

[E]

Probably not.

[A]

So you don't care. You just don't want to find out. He. He just that good of a man. You don't care what he doing?

[E]

No, not really.

[B]

All right, that's fair.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

All right.

[A]

Honestly, delusional.

[D]

Admit it.

[E]

At least I'm not, like, I'm not gonna beat around the bush. I was delusional.

[B]

Oh, it's fine. How old were you when that happened.

[E]

I was. I just turned 26.

[B]

Okay. Frontal lobe was still developing.

[E]

Yeah, a little bit. Just a little. I mean, he was pretty stupid. And then I was stupid again because I let him back in, and then, like.

[B]

You hear that?

[E]

Him.

[B]

Our helicopter just got here, though.

[E]

Not. Y' all like taking off without me.

[A]

I thought you. Wait a minute.

[D]

Got her.

[A]

That was too easy. Wait till you see the jet.

[B]

All right, you have a good one.

[E]

You, too. Thing.

[B]

Peace.

[A]

That's crazy.

[D]

What's good with y'?

[E]

All?

[B]

What it do? What it do? Welcome to Castle Podcast.

[D]

Thank you for having me again. I've been on three times, bro.

[A]

Oh, what you like? What did you say?

[D]

I. I don't. The first one was, remember my boy made that we made. I made that song with my boy, and then I played it for y'. All.

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah. He couldn't rap. He was trying to chase the beat

[D]

47.

[B]

Oh, I got a question for you. What's something you want to apologize for Far.

[D]

Well, I want to apologize to my boy for calling. Calling him out on your podcast and, like, saying his music ass, because y' all made a clip about it and the went viral, and he ain't seen it yet, but I don't know if he will.

[A]

Oh, he hasn't seen that clip.

[D]

I'm. I'm just. Yeah, I'm just. I'm coping a plea right now. Like, hey, big bro, I ain't even mean all that. I was just trying to be funny for the pie, like you see me.

[A]

No, that's crazy.

[D]

No, no, not what you mean. What you. Please.

[A]

No, that's so crazy. You trying to get an apology on record, and the still ain't even found out first.

[B]

Can you. Martin, you wait.

[D]

Yeah, take this. Take this out. The clip, though. Like, I. I don't mean it, of course, but, like, he. He like. Like, I. He my friend. I don't want to. I don't want him to, like, know I said that.

[B]

We're definitely.

[D]

Bro, don't keep this in.

[B]

It won't make it. It won't be a clip, but we definitely keep it this.

[A]

Yeah, that's not good enough to be a clip, but, like, I've. If he listens.

[D]

All right, good. I don't need it to be. I don't need it to be a clip, but he just gonna listen to this part.

[A]

Okay, cool.

[B]

All right, Start from your plea, then. So maybe he skipped this part. Yeah.

[D]

Yo, Berto, I'm sorry for calling you the music ass. Listen, I know you just Started a few months ago, and I've been teaching you, so it's basically my fault you asked, too. So I gotta take that responsibility on my shoulders, too. Listen, we going to keep making music, keep rocking out, and we're going to go big one day, all right?

[B]

That's how you keep him paying you, huh?

[D]

He said what?

[A]

Talk to that like a baby.

[D]

That's my little bro. Like, he. He's 20. I'm 22. That's my little bro.

[B]

Big ho. That's how you. I said, that's how you keep him to keep paying you, huh? Huh?

[D]

No, bro. What you mean? Are his sessions free money? I wouldn't say it's free. It's transactional. You feel me? Like, you bring. You bring a bottle or you bring some Z. Like, yeah, you could get a. You can get a versus.

[A]

Oh, okay, okay.

[D]

If he get you, I'm also the

[A]

type, if he get you loose, he get a beat.

[D]

Yo, but I'm also the type where, like, if you pull up to my stool, you got to play me in two cats.

[A]

Okay? That, like, all foreplay before you

[D]

this joke. Stay with some jokes, bro. I got some jokes for you, too. Jokes for you, too. I'm playing. I'm playing.

[E]

I'm coming.

[A]

Please, again.

[B]

All right, man.

[D]

All right, y'. All, boys, I'm about to hit the liquor store. Give me some tailor parts. So I'll talk to y' all later, bro.

[A]

Said you gonna rub my feet before

[B]

you get this beat. All right, Pat, you w.

[A]

How many tracks you want? Okay, two. Tweeted a weeks.

[B]

All right, let's do it.

[A]

These are the best deleted tweets on Twitter. Okay, the first one is. I guess this was when Demar Hamlin went down with that crazy injury.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Everybody remember that? That.

[C]

When was that one?

[A]

Demar Hamlin, the Buffalo Bills player, he had a.

[B]

His heart stopped or something like that, right?

[C]

Oh, yes.

[A]

This is perfect. And the reason why you're perfect for this is because what you don't know is what some of our other listeners don't know. And I hate when they comment like, damn, y' all went on a sports talk and just left us out. We got y'.

[D]

All.

[A]

We got y'.

[D]

All.

[A]

Somebody here, okay? Somebody tweeted, said, yo, scrape that off the field. We got a game to play. Crazy. And I remember. And you know who else got in trouble that night was Skip Bayless.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because he was talking about, like, playoff implications during that time.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I think that was the downfall of Skip Bayless also. The next one is this. Changed his name to Tyler the creator. Them movies are ass. Keep it at Tyler Perry. So somebody thought that Tyler Perry tried to change his name to Tyler the Creator.

[B]

That would be a dope name change, though.

[A]

Definitely a dope name change.

[B]

If Tyler the Creator wasn't Tyler the Creator, I was Tyler Perry. I would want that name. It's just because I'm creating all these shows.

[A]

Yeah. It's just funny how, like, fame makes a name regular.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know what I mean?

[B]

You have to say their whole name.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

That's how you know you made it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You can't just tell Tyler Perry. Tyler.

[A]

Like, if there was no. If there was no. If there was no ASAP crew and I call myself asap Pat. I don't think it was hit as hard today. You know what I'm saying? I think it would asap.

[E]

Yes.

[C]

It just has to sound different. It sounds like a stage name. Any stage named can work.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What about Jaques. N. No. Shout out to the Queen mixo. That should be my.

[B]

Oh, man. Were there any other tweeters? We.

[A]

Yeah, I must. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here we go. Here we go. It was a moment where I think LeBron James checked into the game. Or no, LeBron James was already in the game. And a player named Jabari Smith, who's a younger player that plays for Houston Rockets, checked into the game and he didn't have his shirt tucked in. And LeBron James was complaining to the ref like, yo, that's a delayed game. He ain't got a shirt tucked in. And he turned to Jabari Smith, come into the game with your shirt tucked in on national without your shirt tucked in on national tv. That's how we doing it. And the first comment was just like, just tucked my beater into my draws.

[B]

Glazing.

[C]

Why LeBron's snitching out here now?

[A]

That's a good tactic, though. Did somebody say, I hate the fact that Brian even had to speak. Okay. On somebody had an obituary. Rest in peace, whoever this is.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

But the obituary is crazy. One at the top it says, I'm not rich in quotes. I think that was like the favorite. The person's favorite quote. I'm not rich. And it says, but I got a lot of love to give. And on the obituary, there's three pictures of the person smoking. And over each picture it says, puff, puff, pass. And it's a person passing the blunt is like the last one.

[B]

Oh, damn.

[C]

It's creative. I would say that puff, puff, pass.

[A]

And it says, remember me always.

[B]

I feel it, though. I feel like this. If that was their character when they're

[C]

alive, if that's what they wanted to be remembered as, then cool. But if they were, like, secretly doing

[A]

this for the first time that they

[C]

out here cheaping on, you know, like, wow.

[B]

Nah, you shouldn't improvise a funeral.

[A]

I'm always, like. I'm always, like. I don't know with, like, funerals, because, like, to me, like, y' all should be doing y' all job to, like, make sure I get to, like, the great afterlife, like, do all my shit. Whatever they say in the books do. Yeah, do that shit.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Don't hold no roast at my fucking funeral tomorrow. This what Pat would have wanted. No, nigga, I don't. I don't like jokes like that. Now. You'll be mad if somebody put song lyrics on your obituary. Hell, yeah. I want my to be serious. Like, I want to feel like they heart about the. I want, like, if I go before Mike and, like, I'm, like, 78 or some like that, like, I want this to die directly after.

[B]

No, bro,

[A]

You too.

[B]

I think after we're, like, 50, we probably won't be friends anymore.

[D]

No, no, no. I'm good.

[A]

I can't take that type of heartbreak. I. I don't even with old people.

[B]

Like, we did have a contract on, like, our friendship after 50. Like, what else is there?

[A]

You know what I mean? We made it. That's a really good friendship.

[C]

To not be friends no more.

[B]

Yeah. Like, we go about our own lives. I probably move to another country.

[A]

I probably start a radio station in Atlanta and be dissing this sublimity every once in a while. I'm glad I left that. Welcome back to WB 1027.

[C]

That's crazy.

[A]

A plan is a plan. We can't do this podcast. And forever. If y' all think I'm gonna be in, like, my upper 40s doing a podcast, y' all crazy. No offense to anybody that's doing it.

[B]

No, I probably still be podcasting. Yeah. That is half of the podcast.

[A]

No, no, I'm saying, like, me personally,

[B]

because you started in your 20s.

[A]

Yes. I'm saying, like, I don't want to be doing this for 20 years if I'm still.

[B]

I feel like we'll still be doing something, but it'll be something different. It might still be a podcast. It's been with the times. Yeah.

[A]

The host of Family Feud. The host of family feud. 15 years.

[B]

Yeah, those. Those hosting jobs, man. Once you in Bro, you can be in for life.

[A]

That's why he pop him out like that.

[C]

He got.

[A]

He need to move over.

[B]

He keep posting every Steve Harvey set.

[A]

That's what I'm saying.

[B]

You're set for life.

[A]

I want to do the Wheel of Fortune.

[D]

Nevertheless.

[B]

You know how many people are in front of you for Wheel of Fortune? There's like, I feel like with those type of like late night shows, it's like they have the set people already. Like, yeah, there's a lineage because people can do those late night shows. You can do those for 20 years, 40 years.

[A]

Yeah, they already got the next one. Like Trevor Noah might already be in line.

[C]

Yeah, like.

[A]

Or some.

[B]

It's gonna be the same circle of people. It's gonna be hard for somebody really to break in.

[C]

That's young y' all made me think of. Do you remember the show Whose line is it anyway?

[A]

My favorite show.

[C]

Bad show. If it was bro back.

[B]

What was the concept again of the show? Was it like they say a line and you have to guess where the reference is from?

[A]

No, it's like it was more like improv. Like they give you like a situation like, Mike, your car just broke down and Gene, your incompetent mechanic.

[B]

Got it.

[A]

Just like, got it.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And then the, the thing that would throw it off is just like, they'll throw me in and just be like, oh, you're just a passerby who's two. No, two Rosie. So we'd have to like guess his role or like it's different games. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

I remember the title of the show, but it's like I really faintly remember Wayne Brady. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was Wayne Brady. Okay. I do remember this show.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, because they were like somebody would run up down on stage from their seat, right?

[C]

Yeah. Like two people on the side. And then you had the host. I forgot his name. He was like the. He was the judge.

[A]

He's a host of Are we aging ourselves?

[B]

Stuff's like crazy.

[A]

The host of one of the game shows now. Price is Right. Price is Right.

[B]

Okay.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

They don't connect.

[B]

Now this is a real uncle auntie conversation.

[A]

I mean, I call the box over there. That's why we. We teaching these little something.

[B]

No, some of these people are our age, so a lot of them are age.

[C]

So they're like, oh, I ain't thought about that in a minute.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay, so, okay, so I felt bad. I felt really shallow. Fellow. I was at the mall and I was shoe Shopping for someone. And because I've always been like, a very, like, adjustable, adaptable person, and I. Especially when it comes with women, I always say, like, there's really not a feature that I would look at a woman immediately and be like, oh, no. Like, if I like the woman's personality and I think she's beautiful, like, there's no attribute or physical thing that could just throw me off, really. Until I was shopping and I tried to get a shoe in my size that I liked, and I was like, oh, should these some fours. You know when you catch like a Jordan 4 at like a Foot Locker or some. This shoe not supposed to be here. Like, let me cop it. And the dude was like. I was like. He's like, what size you are? I was like, 11. And he was like, oh, man, we. If she don't buy that 11, we'll give it to you. So I like, turned around like, oh, she must be buying this for a dude. Like, she definitely buying it. And she had that on her foot.

[B]

What size were there?

[A]

11. Men's 11.

[B]

Was she super tall, though?

[D]

No,

[A]

but that's the thing. No, but the thing is, is, like, because I thought, like, a woman who has like a biggest of foot as mine wouldn't matter because usually that comes with height.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And I would be okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Being in a relationship with someone who's six, four, like, who cares? Like, if that's my person, that's my person. But someone who's 5, 9, that wears an 11, ain't nothing I can do with that. I'm sorry. You ain't about to be slipping my shoes.

[B]

59 is still kind of tall, though.

[A]

No, I'm not about to be looking for my shoes.

[B]

She already got the hoodies. She got. She got the hoodies. You got the big T shirts, and

[A]

now she got your shoes turned into you, babe. You got on the fives. I'm just throwing the fours. Go ahead, go ahead. Like, me and my girl got every shoe, bro. It's perfect

[D]

now.

[A]

That would be so annoying.

[B]

Same size shoe is a little critical.

[A]

No, because, like.

[B]

But what about the people that are. They're pretty short as well. And the girlfriend is short.

[A]

I've seen that situation. We literally know, like, a couple that used to be married that had the same shoe size, but usually it's like a difference. So.

[B]

Yeah, you're just the feet not looking as goofy.

[A]

I think of my girlfriend now. We got a similar style. And, like, if we had the same shoe size, she probably would definitely wear my shoes.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I wouldn't want that.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

You know what I'm saying? Like, and I wouldn't want somebody looking down at like. You know what I mean? Like, now I think every dude looking at my girl feet

[C]

shoes is where it stops. You don't care if it's like a double XL shirt. She.

[B]

Because now they might be questioning where you got your shoes from. Like, you and your girl's shoes right

[A]

now you got a question where she got her shoes?

[B]

Like, come on now, baby.

[A]

The bread was. You think I'm stupid? What had

[B]

she got?

[A]

You asking insecure ass questions. So what size shoe was your ex, would you say? Oh, he was 11 like me.

[B]

So if your girl came with the same size hoodie, like from another. Not another relationship, just in general. General. She had it in her class. It was already an XL hoodie. You. You wouldn't feel away about it being XL hoodie.

[A]

If it's. It gotta be designer or something like that. I can't replace if I can't.

[B]

But in Excel, though, if it's not her size, like your size, like, you

[C]

know it's from another man.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

If that nice, you gonna throw it on. If it's a Balenciaga hoodie and it's a 2x and I know she got it from another dude, you know what I'm saying? I'm rocking that. And I might tag that.

[B]

Hey, bro, you got hella taste, bro.

[A]

But I'm never going. I'm never going out in it. I feel like that's kind of like, oh, you got my going outfit. Like, no, I'm about to hoop in your Balenciaga. All post moves.

[B]

Post with your. Yo. We are taking a quick break from the podcast. Hey, don't, don't times to us. This is our own ad. This is for tour.

[A]

Slow that down.

[B]

We are live in Chicago, March 26. Tickets are. Are moving quickly. New York is super low. Atlanta, Nashville, April 7th and 8th, Nashville. Then we got the 15. We got Baltimore, Philly, Boston, New York, Charlotte, Raleigh. We gotta emphasize Raleigh a lot.

[A]

Yes, Raleigh, y' all pop out. I know some of y', all, like, live in Raleigh. Y' all bought show. I mean, tickets to the Charlotte show show. We apologize. But if you in Raleigh, make sure you pop out. The Charlotte tickets are halfway gone. Just to give y' all a heads up. So it's moving pretty fast. That show is moving. We're also doing one in Raleigh again next day, so come on.

[B]

And new dates. We got Cleveland, May 28th. We got Toronto. Toronto, Toronto, May 30th. And we got Detroit, May 31st.

[A]

Homecoming.

[B]

Yeah. Make sure you guys get your tickets. Don't wait to get your tickets, please. Just get them as soon as you can, man. And, hey, I don't know what else we got to tell y', all, man.

[A]

Hey, get your tickets. No complaining. If you buy a ticket, tag us on ig, Facebook, Twitter, whatever. We'll repost it because obviously we appreciate it.

[B]

And again, crashdummieslive.com there was people going to, like, some fake websites to get the tickets. It was like 350.

[A]

Don't buy no resale tickets. No, like, if you're gonna get somebody 350, give it to me personally. I'll make sure you get into the venue. The only work about nothing.

[B]

Just go to crash dummies live.com to get the tickets. All right, y', all, back to the show.

[A]

All right, this is a listener from Dublin, Ireland, who sent us an email to wish her boyfriend Des or dez, a happy birthday. It says, me and my boyfriend are from Dublin, Ireland, and my boyfriend listens to every episode of yours, every Wednesday. And I mean every episode. Holy. He recently got me to listen to and told me how much it meant to him, him when he worked graveyard shifts. His birthday is coming up now on Saturday, and I was hoping, if there's any chance you guys could give him a birthday shout out on the next episode. His name is Dez. He's turning 22 and would mean the world to him. I'm already hoping to surprise him with videos from all his friends and the Patreon subscription. So she buying you the Patreon subscription, but a shout out from you guys would be the cherry on top. Cheers, listeners from Dublin. What you got to say?

[B]

No, we're not doing it, bro.

[A]

N. We good, bro.

[B]

We can't. No birthday shout outs.

[A]

No. No, because we start with you, then we got to read everybody and everybody sending their birthday. What about me? What about now? We just playing Happy Birthday, man.

[B]

He already cut it off by now. Any. I can't take no Happy birthday, bro.

[D]

Play,

[A]

in n. That's crazy. Hey, let us know if it's more listeners in Dublin, Ireland. That way, you know, we might do a show out there.

[B]

Yeah, we're gonna do a show in

[A]

London, so we just gonna send Jean and Just gonna be two holograms of us.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Now appearing, the Crash Dummy Animal Electronics.

[B]

Oh, there was a video from two bears, One cave with Birch Kreischer. Whoa. Two bears, One cave with Birch Kreischer. And yeah, but the question was they were talking about last meal in jail and stuff like that in prison. So what would be your death row meal?

[A]

My death row meal would be boiled eggs, baked beans, pinto beans, kidney beans, sardines, whole milk laxatives.

[B]

You try to make a mess in

[C]

there,

[A]

when y' all come to me, y' all gonna smell this, I promise you. Because I know I'm a on myself.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I want it to be the nastiest ever. Like, y' all gonna have to clean up. Hella. And I hope I got the little. The jogging suit on so it spill out like a little leakage.

[B]

No, you got to like wear like rubber boots or something. And tie the edge. Just tie your edge of your feet. Tie the edge of your feet so you're just a big bubble of

[A]

no real bro.

[B]

I probably do sunflower seeds. I just going to eat it one by one. I just want to waste time. I literally just eat it one by one. Like y'.

[D]

All.

[B]

I get a last meal, cuz is there a time limit to the last meal or how long it take me to eat?

[A]

I think there is a time limit. Got barbecue. Like you about to be the barbecue sunflower.

[B]

Start turning to popcorn.

[A]

And now just put some popcorn seeds in his mouth before he get on the thing.

[C]

Oh, that be.

[A]

That'd be funny as that. That'd be funny.

[B]

I don't think they use electric chair like that no more.

[A]

No, they do lethal injection.

[B]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. You know, with the lethal injection. Like the lethal injection, people don't know something this in some states, but they don't know who like gave the. The. The. The poison base. Basically the thing that killed them.

[A]

There's full doctors.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Just for their conscience.

[A]

Four doctors. Yeah, like full, like fake. Oh, yeah.

[C]

So if you had to choose.

[B]

No, it was just four.

[C]

If you had to choose, what would you want? How would you want to go out? Gunshot through the lethal injection.

[A]

A firing squad just so I can see. Like there's people that are actively killing me that way. I can like even that sometimes lash out, you know, at the end. Like y', all. Y'.

[D]

All.

[A]

Some do what you got. You know what I'm saying? But like lethal and J connection is more like they got you like in a room.

[B]

It's a two. A one way mirror. One way mirror.

[A]

You can't see. You don't know who outside. It's your high school bully out there. He playing uno behind the thing. Like, yeah, killing this. But it's just like you don't know what's there. And it seems like more sad. The electric chair seems like, okay, you strapping me and like that. It's just like no firing squad.

[B]

The gas chamber, like all that stuff will be like not good.

[A]

Everything else is like too like claustrophobic. Yeah, you want the core.

[C]

Quickest thing.

[A]

Quickest thing. You know what I'm saying? Or some like, like, yeah, I want to go out like Cleo like a gangster day after day, bruh. When I tell you that as black people we have some sad ass endings to like some movies like set it off. Sad ass ending. Hardball sad at ending. And I, I forgot Michael B. Jordan was even in Hardball, man. Shout out to Michael B. Jordan, though.

[E]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Yeah, man. I. I had an Oscar question actually. If you don't show up for an award, do you think you should win that award?

[A]

Yeah. You don't think so?

[C]

No, not something like an Oscar.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

If it's like something small, then okay.

[A]

I think this, I think it's the opposite though. Oscar. You definitely like, you had to earn that. But like if we doing like, you know, best radio station in Atlanta and then y' all not here. Y' all not the best.

[B]

When Sean Penn. Sean Penn didn't show up, but I guess he was in some other country talking and. Because I kind of wanted Delroy to win from. For his, his part in Sinners.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But Sean Penn did play a really good character as well. Like, and people were kind of mad about it because in his character. What's the movie called again? One battle after one battle after another. He basically was his, his reputation in the movie was. Was bad. Like it was like a lot of essay stuff going on on. But I think when an actor can make you feel away, whether it's angry, happy, sad, that's like really good acting to me. And if he makes you feel a certain way and I feel like he had a bigger part in. In his show than they were.

[A]

Yeah, it's a lot of people don't. With the, the dude who is on who was in the wheelchair. He got a brother, Harris, his brother famous too. He was in a wheelchair on one of Tyler Perry movies.

[C]

Movies.

[A]

And he used to abuse the girl.

[C]

Oh, the evil guy.

[A]

Evil guy. Like, yeah, I don't with him. I don't With Pinky from Friday. You know what I'm saying? Like, I'm just thinking like character.

[B]

But that's like good acting though. I feel like if you make somebody hate you, like and you can see past, like, the character they're playing.

[C]

Look up Michael Ely.

[A]

Look up evil Dave Chappelle. Michael Ely. What.

[B]

What movie was he the bad guy in?

[C]

In the Four Color Girl.

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah. But I've seen him in good roles too, though.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Michael Ely was like the. The hard throb.

[A]

Like he was talking about a movie. I don't with this.

[B]

Wait, Evil Day. Chappelle is funny, bro.

[A]

No, that dude. That dude make me mad.

[C]

So buddy from one battle after another wasn't there to get.

[B]

No, he wasn't there.

[C]

See, if I lost and I see that the winner.

[B]

Yeah, exactly.

[C]

I'm pissed.

[B]

I'm a little salty. I'm a little salty. And he's like his character. Like, his. The way people describe him is like he kind of has like that nonchalant, like, energy. Like, it's like. Like he can be out fishing the way. Same way like Jokic. They say he don't like playing the NBA. He likes his horses more than the NBA. It's kind of that feeling.

[A]

Okay, no, I get that.

[B]

But shout out to Michael B. Jordan too, for winning. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Coogler. They trying to tear Ryan Cooler down.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Why do they just.

[A]

I think anytime someone wins something, every. I want to call them all minorities, but every. Every group of people that have been oppressed, they go look at if that person was an advocate for them before they like, give them the. Their flowers and stuff like that. And I think a lot of people are like, trying to do that. And it's like, sometimes people don't make statements on stuff.

[B]

I didn't know the, the. The thing was to go to In n Out and take a, you know, take a picture with the Oscar.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Cuz I. When Michael B. Jordan, though, I was judging a little bit. I was like, bro, I know he don't like in and out that much. But then, but then when I found out it was like, that's the thing to do that I was like, okay, that makes sense.

[C]

I found that out too.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I was like, all right.

[A]

No home cook meal.

[D]

No, you can.

[A]

You can tell that ain't bit a burger in like five years and bit that and he wiped off it.

[E]

It.

[D]

Hold on.

[A]

What the y' all be eating? But I don't see like, damn, I've been killing for years with this.

[B]

Have you had.

[A]

Have you.

[B]

Have you had In n Out?

[C]

I have.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

It's very.

[A]

Oh, don't do that. You. We said we wouldn't diss no restaurants and now you about to diss in and out. You ready to go down? Yes, he was.

[B]

You think I was about to diss it?

[A]

Yeah. Yes. Right. In and out.

[C]

Felt like he was about to be.

[A]

You know, he was right. In and out. One in ten.

[B]

One to ten.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. It's not the worst burger I've ever had.

[A]

Okay. I'm saying the whole experience. Cuz you had their fries, too. Style.

[B]

Yeah, it was animal style. N. Frey G. In the chat.

[A]

Wait, what?

[D]

I thought.

[B]

I think it's. I think it's animals. I think it's animal.

[A]

Definitely animal.

[B]

Right?

[A]

I only been there once. All right, that. Going to the wrong in and out. Really Going in and out. Said, I'm going in and out. Hold the out.

[B]

What Nasty style is crazy that. Go in and out and say, can I get the fries? Nasty style. He's like, I got to go to the back room with your real.

[A]

Got a shirt on that say fries. What the fuck are you talking about?

[B]

That's exactly the nasty thought they're gonna put on that, too.

[A]

This is our glazed burger. No, that's too crazy.

[B]

Oh, man. All right. That's been the Crash Dummies podcast. Carrie. Appreciate you being on the podcast. They've been loving you. Shout out to everything you got again.

[C]

Of course. Wait, can I ask y' all a question?

[B]

Go ahead.

[C]

So my fiance is on a bachelor's trip right now. Now.

[B]

Oh, how.

[C]

How do men be acting on bachelor's trips? Have y' all ever been?

[A]

They. I a. Only met him once. Let me. We cool, bro. Where he going?

[C]

They went to Cancun.

[A]

They.

[D]

Do you know the.

[A]

Do you know all the. All the grooms?

[C]

It was like, 11 of them, and he's the best man, so.

[A]

Oh, he's the best man.

[B]

Is that his.

[C]

He is the best man for the bachelor trip.

[B]

Back to our previous statement.

[A]

Okay, okay. But k Kind of like, relax.

[B]

I know that's, like, very, like, normal.

[A]

I think as a somebody who's not, you know, getting married, he's there just to have a good time. He's probably influencing, you know, the actual. You know, he definitely.

[D]

He.

[A]

He's definitely a big influence because when I was best man, man, I like, control, like, the activities and stuff like that. So, like, what kind of activity person is he? Is he more of, like an experienced person?

[C]

So I know where they went. So they did. They had some clubs, obviously, really big sections. I do have those. They also did, like, a big boat party situation somewhere, and really was just a lot of clubs and stuff at the. In the Airbnb.

[B]

Out of the 11 people, how many of the 11 are single single men?

[C]

Maybe only a couple.

[A]

A couple. Okay.

[B]

Is it more? Is it. Are we. Because it's 10.

[C]

I think it's more people in relationships.

[B]

Okay. Okay. That's always a good sign.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Like too many when it, when it's like.

[C]

I don't know about like fiance.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Type situation because people don't take boyfriend, girlfriend.

[A]

What? What? You know what resort they're staying at exactly.

[C]

No.

[A]

Oh okay. There is an adults only resort in Cancun.

[C]

Oh.

[A]

And it's called Temptation. Cancun sounds about right. The playground for grown ups. Cares to 21 and over adults offering a vibrant and passion infused topless optional environment.

[C]

I'm just going to hope that they just out there playing poker.

[A]

No, you're good.

[B]

No, no.

[E]

We.

[A]

No. Cuz what we doing? We. We influencing the comments right now.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Don't do that. Don't do that. He good though.

[B]

I think I met him.

[A]

He seemed like come on now.

[B]

But it depends. It does depend who is leading it.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Because I feel like if I had a bachelor party I would want it more like activity based as well. Like we probably gonna play like a tournament of something.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like paintball, soccer. Soccer, Go karts. Some Something. Something competitive.

[E]

Yes.

[B]

Not want to do all that. We'll probably, we'll probably go to. If we're in K. We probably do go to a couple clubs.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

But I feel like everybody's different. Like a lot of clubs with bachelorette parties. I feel like people, they could be different too cuz they, they might have those like super horny bra maid of honors and they have those. The dancy teddy bears coming and they

[A]

putting the sheets off and they sucking dick behind the sheet. We can still see you. The sheet is literally see through. Like we can see.

[C]

I feel like they don't get strippers anymore like bachelor parties and No.

[B]

I think honestly I do think people that are getting married are a little bit more mature these days.

[A]

Yes. I feel like too many cameras and.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Like their Internet and like vlogging.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, like having like strippers at your. Your bachelor party. I feel like it's a little. If that's your thing. Like if you and your partner are okay with that then that's your thing. But if like you put in like other people in uncomfortable situations.

[A]

Yeah. I'm not into like hired women. Like that's. That shit will always throw me off. Like I can't hire someone to hang around me because like now Everything you say is disingenuous. Like, no, like, my shirt can't be that nice.

[B]

I was.

[A]

Hands off me.

[B]

I was at a party one time, and this is, like, where I was like, okay, this is a weird occupation. There was a woman on the table, and she. They had, like, the. The finger food on her.

[D]

Whoa.

[C]

Okay, I've seen that.

[B]

Yeah. Like, she was covered in, like, she was like. She was pretty much naked, but, like, her privates are covered by, like, the. The food. And you can, like, pick the, like, a finger food, like crackers or, like, dip caviar offer her. And you can kind of like, dip your chips in as well. It felt very. So soulless. Like, it was just like, how do you even get into, like, this occupation?

[A]

That's how I know I'm good. Like, I've never been that freaky. My biggest concern is, like, damn, did she wash up today? Her?

[B]

Well, it's like one of those, like, super fancy parties. It's just like, man, money would make a lot of people just do, like, very weird.

[A]

But it is. It is that middle ground, though. Like, I feel like I'm in that middle ground. I, for some reason, I, like, don't enjoy guys night. Like, I enjoy guys night at, like, maybe, like, a cap of four. But if you add that fifth dude, like this, like, yeah, I don't like rolling. It's like. It's like a meat factory in this. Like, it's like, not even. Like, I need women around, but I just like it to be, like, different conversations when there's too many dudes. A conversation kind of just goes down like this. This path eventually. And then eventually you're playing Mary Kill with, like, Goldberg.

[C]

If.

[B]

If I'm at a club too. Like, even as I go out, like, say, if I'm at a bachelor party, I don't also don't want to be at a club that is all dudes at. Yeah. Like, there has to be girls there.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Not because I want to do anything with the girls, but it's just like, it's a different vibe when there's women around and they're having fun. It's just like a different energy.

[C]

Less tension.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Just more. It's just like a wig.

[C]

Feminine energy.

[A]

Yeah. That's facts and people watching, too. Like, I want to see some interactions. Like, I want to see this nigga get this for the fifth time tonight. I already knew it. This stink. Like, they gotta smell this. Just like I do. Remember, summer's coming up. If you can smell yourself a little. We can smell you a lot.

[B]

Now we gotta insert a deodorant ad there.

[A]

We really need a deodorant ad, though. And make sure, like, listen. Indiana. Shout out to Indiana. Nobody was musty. Shout out to St. Louis. Only two of y' all was musty. And they know who they is. Cause they brothers, both of them,

[E]

man.

[A]

Now you a little around you, but I know what y' all was doing, though. I think it was some weed or something.

[B]

Anything you got coming up, Carrie.

[C]

Yeah, Brewer season. Make sure you guys catch me at the brewers games hosting. And just make sure you listen to my podcast, Daily Brain Squeeze. Find it anywhere you listen to podcast and follow me on Instagram at Carrie. Noni Underscore girl. Noni Juice.

[A]

Hey. Yeah. Yeah, the merch is going out, y'.

[D]

All.

[A]

Yeah, merch is I'm trying to create some new designs. So DM me some ideas. I might have Merch. Y' all not getting no credit, nothing like that. Maybe like a free shirt of that design asking for 10 is gonna get you blocked. Thanks for the idea. Also, follow my tick tock not pat777. It's supposed to be a burner account, but it is what it is.

[B]

I don't got going on right now, but.

[A]

All right, y' all put his box and highlight up.