Favorite Eater - Episode 210

Summary

Crash Dummies Podcast with Pat and Mike
Episode: Favorite Eater - Episode 210
Release Date: June 11, 2025

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Introduction to the Episode

In Episode 210 of the Crash Dummies Podcast, hosts Pat and Mike dive deep into a variety of engaging topics, blending humor with insightful discussions. This episode, titled "Favorite Eater," features guest appearances and interactive segments that address current events, personal experiences, and lighthearted banter.

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MLM Forex Scams and Financial Insights ([03:02] - [07:04])

Discussion on Multi-Level Marketing (MLM) Forex Scams

Pat and Mike kick off the episode by dissecting the prevalence of MLM Forex scams. They express skepticism and frustration toward groups that prioritize recruiting over genuine trading success.

• Drew: "I was wondering, you remember those MLM Forex scams?"
• Mike: "[03:06] The what? [...] You literally have to have people under you, if ain't nobody under you, then who makes you money?"

Impact on Friendships and Trust

The hosts delve into how MLM schemes can strain friendships, especially when individuals are pressured to sell products or recruit friends and family.

• Drew: "I honestly wonder how many friendships were ended because of that type of stuff."
• Mike: "[04:10] No, I don't like anything. Any job that tries to make you sell to your friends."

Financial Realities and Skepticism

Pat and Mike emphasize the importance of being cautious with money-making schemes that promise unrealistic returns.

• Mike: "[06:49] Nothing. If it sounds too easy, you've got to be skeptical, bruh."
• Drew: "[07:04] Nothing is easy. No matter how much money I make, every time I see the amount, I'd be like, damn, Four years ago, I would have looked at this and went crazy."

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Relationship Advice: Conversations with Friends' Partners ([08:36] - [13:42])

Navigating Conversations Around Friends' Significant Others

The hosts transition to relationship dynamics, offering advice on what topics to avoid when interacting with a friend's girlfriend to maintain harmony and respect.

• Drew: "[08:36] I would say anything that starts with like, bro, that was a wild ass night. You can't talk about your wild nights in front of your friend's girl."
• Mike: "[09:00] So why is your homeboy screaming on the phone, Yo. Was crazy, bro?"

Avoiding Toxic Behavior

Pat and Mike stress the importance of not bringing complaints about one's girlfriend in front of her friend to prevent awkwardness and tension.

• Drew: "[09:45] Never talk about the complaints that you complain about your girls in front of him."
• Mike: "[10:02] Yeah. Oh, bro, look, she talking over you again, just like you said."

Maintaining Boundaries and Respect

They conclude this segment by highlighting the need for clear boundaries to preserve friendships and relationships.

• Drew: "[13:23] How do you think Drew Ski gets away with all his skits?"
• Mike: "[13:55] We talked about it. [...] he's always sold that."

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Guest Segment: Kaley Cuoco Shares Her Story ([17:37] - [38:56])

Introducing Kaley Cuoco as a Special Guest

The podcast welcomes Kaley Cuoco, who shares a humorous yet insightful story about her experience being labeled as an "eater."

• Drew: "[17:38] Welcome to Crash Dummies Podcast."
• Kaley Cuoco: "[18:11] I am an eater when it comes to eating."

Kaley's "Favorite Eater" Experience

Kaley recounts an encounter at a bar where her friend mistakenly introduces her as an "eater," leading to humorous and awkward interactions.

• Kaley Cuoco: "[19:09] I'm an eater when it comes to eating. [...] my mouth dropped."
• Mike: "[23:24] She's gonna be the only one ruining it if he finds another one, and he better not."

Navigating Social Media Connections

She further explains how the incident followed her onto social media, enhancing the humorous narrative.

• Kaley Cuoco: "[20:58] I'm freaking scrolling on Facebook and I see the guy that was at the bar."

Advice on Contact Naming and Relationships

Kaley offers light-hearted advice on maintaining respectful and clear communication in relationships, using her experience as a reference.

• Kaley Cuoco: "[22:12] [...] if you're a good enough person to where your boy's ex still follows you on social media."

Humorous Banter and Final Thoughts

The segment concludes with playful interactions between Kaley, Pat, and Mike, reinforcing the podcast's engaging and humorous tone.

• Kaley Cuoco: "[35:24] I'm so toxic. I just realized, man, I'm so toxic, bro."
• Mike: "[37:55] Socks or no socks, bro?"

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Interactive Segments: "Tweet of the Week" and Listener Stories ([76:09] - [86:04])

Tweet of the Week

Pat and Mike introduce the “Tweet of the Week” segment, where they read and humorously dissect listener-submitted tweets.

• Mike: "[76:09] I'm about to line you up, bro."
• Drew: "[78:26] Somebody said, I gave a crackhead 15."

Listener Call-ins and Stories

The podcast features real-life stories from listeners, who share personal experiences ranging from relationship mishaps to humorous anecdotes.

• Unknown Male: "[27:07] [...] he canceled his wedding last minute due to his friend's unexpected death."
• Mike: "[28:31] He don't know. But friends ain't... I got friends."

Discussions on Mental Health and Conflict Resolution

The hosts provide insightful commentary on mental health awareness and effective conflict resolution strategies based on the stories shared.

• Mike: "[32:26] Put yourself in a different environment, man."
• Drew: "[35:09] What's your message to him?"

Financial Struggles Despite Earning Six Figures

Pat, Mike, and Drew discuss the financial challenges that come with managing multiple households and relationships, highlighting that earning a substantial income doesn't always equate to financial stability.

• Mike: "[38:37] There's no reason why I should feel like I'm broke than a. And I make almost six figures."
• Drew: "[41:28] Because I felt you, I felt you on that."

Navigating Parenting and Multiple Relationships

The conversation evolves into the complexities of parenting multiple children with different partners, emphasizing the emotional and financial strains involved.

• Unknown Male: "[39:05] I have 27."
• Mike: "[40:50] So I got two eight year olds."

Discussions on Personal Finance and Future Planning

The hosts provide humorous yet practical takes on personal finance, budgeting, and long-term financial planning, stressing the importance of saving and investing wisely.

• Drew: "[41:05] Because I felt you, I felt you on that."
• Mike: "[41:16] So you actually don't make enough money. Talking about almost six figures."

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Closing Remarks and Future Plans ([85:20] - [86:04])

Upcoming Travels and Collaborations

Pat and Mike tease future episodes and collaborations, revealing plans to travel to New York and engage with new guests.

• Drew: "[85:20] So next stop is New York, so we have some surprises for y'all."
• Mike: "[85:47] When y’all give suggestions, make sure they're in New York."

Encouragement to Listeners

The hosts encourage listeners to subscribe, support the podcast, and engage with their content on Patreon.

• Drew: "[85:29] Make sure you guys subscribe to the Patreon."
• Mike: "[85:58] Appreciate you all, be on the lookout for any drops."

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Notable Quotes

• Mike ([06:49]): "Nothing is easy. No matter how much money I make, every time I see the amount, I'd be like, damn, Four years ago, I would have looked at this and went crazy."
• Drew ([13:23]): "How do you think Drew Ski gets away with all his skits?"
• Kaley Cuoco ([20:18]): "I am the favorite eater. That's my contact name."
• Unknown Male ([27:07]): "He calls me and says he might want to send me money for the suit, but I'm thinking, bro, we're all adults."
• Mike ([38:37]): "So you actually don't make enough money. Talking about almost six figures."

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Conclusion

Episode 210 of the Crash Dummies Podcast seamlessly blends humor with meaningful discussions, addressing topics from financial scams and relationship dynamics to personal anecdotes shared by guests and listeners. Pat, Mike, and their guests create an engaging and relatable atmosphere, making complex issues accessible and entertaining for their audience. Whether you're tuning in for the laughs or the insights, this episode offers a comprehensive and enjoyable listening experience.

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Recommended for those interested in:

• Financial scams and personal finance
• Relationship advice and social dynamics
• Engaging listener stories and interactive segments
• Humorous takes on everyday challenges

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Note: This summary omits advertisements and non-content sections as per the request, focusing solely on the substantive discussions and interactions within the episode.

Transcript

[Pat]

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[Mike]

You can Venmo this or you can Venmo that. You can Venmo this or you can Venmo that. You can Venmo.

[Pat]

The Venmo MasterCard is issued by the Bancorp bank and a pursuant to license by MasterCard International, Inc. Card may be used everywhere. MasterCard is accepted. Venmo purchase restrictions apply.

[Drew]

This episode is brought to you you by State Farm. Knowing you could be saving money for the things you really want is a great feeling. Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can choose to bundle and save with a personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts, and savings and eligibility vary by state.

[Pat]

Hey there, travelers. Kaley Cuoco here. Sorry to interrupt your music. Great artist, BT Dubs, but wouldn't you rather be there to hear hear it live? With Priceline, you can get out of your dreams and into your dream concert. They've got millions of travel deals to get you to that festival, gig, rave, sound bath, or sonic experience you've been dreaming of. Download the Priceline app today and you can save up to 60% off hotels and up to 50% off flights. So don't just dream about that trip. Book it with Priceline.

[Mike]

Go to your happy price. Priceline. Go ahead, bro.

[Drew]

It's like the alley oop, is it?

[Mike]

It's like Dwayne Wade.

[Drew]

Damn.

[Mike]

Jacked off a flexible.

[Drew]

Yes, we. We both have jerseys on. Let's just get that out the way.

[Mike]

Oh, y' all weird, bro.

[Drew]

Because I know they can be like, y' all. Y' all dress like, get the jersey jokes in now. Let's go. Let's. Let's do it.

[Mike]

It's. You know, I appreciate the jokes. No, I do, too, because it keeps the comments alive and I like when the comments alive. But like, some of y' all, like, come on, man, you can literally chat GBT or chat gbt. Another joke. Like, you can literally put your joke into the AI chat and the chat could spice up your joke. So. All right, from now on, I'm judging jokes in comments and quotes. I'm gonna start rating them with stars. And if you get one star three times, you are blocked.

[Drew]

Anyway, welcome to Crafts Dummies episode 210. Make sure you guys subscribe to the Patreon. We just dropped an episode on Monday. People keep asking about the Poor Minds episode. I honestly don't know when it's coming up. Maybe this Friday. I don't know.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, bro, listen, those are some hard working. When I tell you, when we was there, like, they was just shooting, shooting, working. I don't know what they was working on. They got a lot of jobs, so we don't, we don't know when that's coming out. Just be on the lookout for it. I'm sure you'll see us post it and then post it. We'll let you know. We got you.

[Drew]

Well, I was wondering, you remember those MLM Forex scams?

[Mike]

The what?

[Drew]

The mlm. I said scams. The MLM Forex. Like groups.

[Mike]

Oh, like the forex group.

[Drew]

Yeah, the forest groups. Yeah. That confused you with mlm?

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Drew]

The multi level marketing.

[Mike]

Yeah, just. Bro, just say foreign.

[Drew]

The forest groups. I honestly wonder how many friendships were, were like ended because of like that type of stuff. Like the, the MLMs in general because, you know, like the, they always have those MLM groups that they might be selling protein powder or some. And they only got. They have to sell to their friends first.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Even sometimes like, oh, financial advisors. Sometimes.

[Mike]

Yeah. Like Northwestern. Your boy gets snatched up by Northwestern Mutual. That's really. He about to hit you up. Hey man. And it's gonna come like casually by all my boy hitting me up like, what's up, bro? He'd be like, how you doing, bro? Like, man, I'm good. Just living life. Hey man, you know how you live in like, you know, hey man, I just bought a car. Hey man, I just bought a car too. Oh, you did? How'd you budget that? Yeah, yo, my. What you did. You switched on me, bro.

[Drew]

No, I don't like anything. Any job that tries to make you sell to your friends. Yeah, bro, I don't like that. And your friends and family, because they know those are the people that might support you regardless. And it's like, it's one of those products too, where you like, some people might not need that right now.

[Mike]

Yeah. If you, if you go to your grand house and he'd take you to the basement, just be like, hey man, what happens when you die? Who's taking care of your Family like, yo, just pass the blind, bro. Not trying to hear that, bro.

[Drew]

No. Because I don't see the Forex groups anymore. I mean I remember when it was a thing when they would. They'll travel, rent a big ass Airbnb.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Drew]

And they have like 50 shouting.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Drew]

And the. Let's go.

[Mike]

Ah. If you want to be. Now the next person I'm introduced you to is the man that started it all.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Mike]

And it's a. With a turtleneck on and a blazer.

[Drew]

Yeah. With the Cuban on.

[Mike]

You want to be like me. See, I'm looking at your forces right now and they tell me you need this group.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Those are white girl forces.

[Drew]

Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. Multi level marketing. I'm glad it's, it's, it's dying down a little bit. It's still, it's still out there in the live. I think a lot of the, I would say the self help gurus are kind of in that realm now.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Of like the only way you make money is by recruiting other people to buy this, this coaching program and stuff like that.

[Mike]

Yeah. I don't like it. It's the pyramid scheme. You know what I'm saying?

[Drew]

The.

[Mike]

The only person that makes money is a person at the top. And the more pe. I mean if you understand the pyramid scheme, then you can actually work it. But the only people that are making money are the people that understand the pyramid.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Like you have to have people under you.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Mike]

If ain't nobody under you, then who the fuck makes you money?

[Drew]

The thing I hated about the Forex stuff, it was that because I traded before too. And I was, you know, I was okay at it, but it was like I wasn't consistent enough.

[Mike]

Right.

[Drew]

But the people that would sell like their mentorships and all that stuff, they never made a significant amount of money. Just doing their trade. The trading.

[Mike]

Yeah. Correct.

[Drew]

They never made enough to do it full time. They 90% of their income came from bringing people on to the thing. So I was like. Or, or that's not really your friend. Yeah.

[Mike]

And then some. And then some people, like regardless of what they did, they probably hit big one time.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Mike]

You know what I mean? They got lucky one time, they got into something early one time and all of a sudden they the expert because they got the money. Everybody with money.

[Drew]

What I've learned in this life is that money is not easy to come come upon. Like your first. Once you get may start making money, it's easier to make more money. Obviously.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Drew]

But Nothing. If it sounds too easy, you got to be skeptical, bruh.

[Mike]

I'm telling you not like. Nothing is easy. I don't give a. Like, no matter how much money I make, every time I see the amount, I'd be like, damn, Four years ago, I would have looked at this and went crazy.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Mike]

But now I was like, I earned that, bro. You know what I'm saying? Like, I put in work, bro. Because especially when you find what other people making. Yeah, that'll you up. You think, Man, I'm almost at six figures. Okay, bro, let's really calculate what you do, bro. You bought the business $2 million, and they paying you 90,000, my boy.

[Drew]

Like, with inflation and now six figures. And this is obviously. Don't take this anyway, but six figures. Six figures is. Doesn't seem like that much, like, unachievable anymore. That, like that much money anymore like it used to be back then.

[Mike]

No, they. They doing something, bro.

[Drew]

I just think everything's so expensive.

[Mike]

So $10. Yeah.

[Drew]

Even if you're making six figures is still expensive. You can still feel broke making six figures now.

[Mike]

Y' all need to start doing like the. You ever seen Big Daddy with Adam Sandler? Yeah, and it was smashing the cans. You know, if you got a smash can at target, it's 10 on smashing y' all drinks.

[Drew]

I used to think people.

[Mike]

The other day, I actually dropped something in front of the target person. It was like, damn, this is really dented. You still want it? I was like, yeah, I don't care. And I was like, all right, that's 10. Oh. I was like, all right. Dump this off my. Okay. What questions or conversations shouldn't you have in front of your friend's girlfriend?

[Drew]

I gotta think about this one. I would say anything that starts with like. Like, bro, that was a wild ass night. Like, you can't talk about, like, your wild nights in front of your friend's girl.

[Mike]

Not. Not too much.

[Drew]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mike]

I just want to not toxic that your woman thinks that your woman wants to think. The most fun you could possibly have is with me.

[Drew]

Uhhuh.

[Mike]

So why is your homeboy screaming on the phone, Yo. Was crazy, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro. Don't tell me to shut up, bro. No, bro, I don't care how you look at me. You standing on that bar, bro, giving everybody shots.

[Drew]

You in the life of. How are you still up right now?

[Mike]

Damn, you got a shirt on now. You had a shirt on all night.

[Drew]

Bro. I didn't even know you had that tattoo right There.

[Mike]

How you stood on both of those girls shoulders was crazy, bro.

[Drew]

I would say another thing too, is like, you never should make, like the complaints. You know, like every guy kind of like talks about their girl by something they did. Annoying, right?

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Never talk about the complaints that you complain about your girls in front of him.

[Mike]

No facts.

[Drew]

Yeah. So, like, if you say, oh, she was annoying as hell, something like that or something, you can't be. You can't. Like, she can't do something annoying like. Damn. I see what. I see what Mike was talking about.

[Mike]

Yeah. Oh, bro, look, she talking over you again, just like you said.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Stop doing that to my boy.

[Drew]

Like, Ah, I see. I see it now.

[Mike]

You right. She don't cook, bro.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Yeah, I see it now. Yeah, you do not cook. You're right. So. So when we ordering something, that's what y' all usually do, right?

[Drew]

Nobody cook over here. And then I think the. The last one I can think about is, like, no inside jokes that, like, involve, like, an ex. No, not at all.

[Mike]

No. You did that to me one time, though.

[Drew]

What? Oh, yeah, I did do that.

[Mike]

No, Mike.

[Drew]

What was the inside joke? It was a joke joke.

[Mike]

No, Mike did me dirty in college.

[Drew]

And you're not with her anymore, so it's. It's fine. It was worth it.

[Mike]

No, one time I was.

[Drew]

I mean, I could have held that joke in the whole time I was.

[Mike]

Hanging with a girl, and then Mike was just like, yo, I wonder how your ex doing? Wait, what?

[Kaley Cuoco]

You.

[Mike]

You know, you. You remember her? I wonder how she doing, bro. You think she blocked me, bro? No, that's toxic.

[Drew]

What. What did I say? I think I said, damn. I. I said I missed her.

[Mike]

Oh, you said you missed my ex.

[Drew]

Dirty. I was just.

[Mike]

We was with a group of girls, so I was like, yo, what the. You know what's worse? It was just me and you and like six girls. So it was no other dude there to help me call you out. So it's just some mino Emano.

[Drew]

No, I think what happened. I think, you know, Pat is like past the life of the party sometimes. No, you are, though. And everybody, you just joking and you made a joke. You made some type of African joke about me, and I think I. I waited. I waited to the perfect moment. No, that's crazy to say that. But it was. It's good that I said that joke because it was funny in the moment and you're not with that person. So if I would have held that joke in trying to save that relationship, it wouldn't matter. I haven't done it since.

[Mike]

Hey, good job. Might need one of them.

[Drew]

Just know when I say it's for a.

[Mike]

For a reason, bro. Trust me. The thing I'm about to do for you is for you, my boy. Yo, you still hug your ex on the weekends?

[Drew]

What the.

[Mike]

You just say no. You know, one thing I will say is if you're a good enough person to where your boy's ex still follows you on social media.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Mike]

That's how. Like, that's how you could judge if you're a good person. She blocked both of y' all. She never with you anyway. Like, damn, you block me too. Well, you too.

[Drew]

You kind of get it. That's why I don't like being introduced to my friends. Like, girl in the talking stages. I don't want to do, like, too much, like, double dates and all that type of. You need to, like, be, like, three, four months in.

[Mike]

Yeah. Because sometimes how the relationship end, you'll. You'll find someone trying to, like, be friends with your friend just because that.

[Drew]

Door is over type. And I also don't want my girl to be friends with somebody that now it's gonna be awkward if they actually hit it off and be friends when that ends.

[Mike]

Oh, it's like. And that was my home girl.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Yeah. But not mine.

[Drew]

How do you think Drew Ski gets away with all his skits? Because he recently did the one with cosplaying as a white dude that. That be in the hood.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Drew]

The. Yovon had a tweet about that.

[Mike]

But it's. We talked about it. It's up that we use Ellen DeGeneres as an example.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Of every scenario. But it's also like, selling the thing that you're selling. You can't get. He's always sold that.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Dark humor. He's always sold that. And he's never got on anywhere and apologize. So if that's also. That's like, somebody coming at Trey Rags for one of his things.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Mike]

This is. Blah, blah. The people that view him, the people that watch him, the people that pay to see him, they were already into that style of comedy. Like, yeah, Juicy got some, like.

[Drew]

And I think people. Yeah. Again, because you curate that type of audience, so they're already used to that comedy. I think the only thing Juicy really ever got black backlash for from his own, like, audience was. I think it was, like, the skit about the girls at a party. And then.

[Mike]

That's what I said. But I. I never heard an apology about that. Did he apologize?

[Drew]

No, I think he took it down.

[Mike]

Did he take it down?

[Drew]

Yeah, I think so.

[Mike]

That's still like. They still use it as a meme though. Yeah, yeah, they still got it. But it's like, it's. I mean, that's what that style of comedy is. It's like gonna go on the borderline of that. Like the. I wouldn't say he's as far as Trey Rags. Like Trey Rags different.

[Drew]

He's funny as hell.

[Mike]

That's like Trey Rags has that one where like I'm. If I watch one of his videos and I laugh in one of his videos, I'm by myself. Yeah. I'm not around nobody.

[Drew]

You can't even send like his should be so funny. But you know, I can't send this because I don't want this person to see me in this light.

[Mike]

Yeah, let me send this from my burner.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Mike]

You see what they did? Can you believe this? And then you just wait on the laughing emojis.

[Drew]

That's the type of stuff. He's a. He has the type of content you gotta send without any context. Just send it.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Drew]

And wait for the reaction because then you can kind of go based on the reaction. So if I send it to a friend and like, oh, that is kind of up. I'd be like, yes, it's kind of up. No, because you send it and it's a fucked up video. And then you send the laughing emojis and it's like, oh, you think this is funny? So you gotta send it with no comments at all.

[Mike]

I want to take a quick break from the podcast to give a thanks to our sponsor of the episode, Earn it. Life doesn't happen bi weekly, so why should payday? The money you earn can be in your hands today with earning.

[Drew]

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[Mike]

Can't time when you shoot your shot.

[Drew]

Exactly.

[Mike]

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[Drew]

Earning is a financial technology company, not a bank. Cash outs are based on your available earnings. Standard cash outs take one to two business days with no mandatory fees. Option to expedite your transfer for a fee. Tips are voluntary and don't affect the service. See the cash out user agreement for details. Services are not available in all states. Again, thank you to earn in for sponsoring the show. Back to Pod. This episode is presented to you by Underdog. Turn your takes into cash with Underdog by picking higher or lower on your favorite player stats. Make sure to support this show by hitting the link in the description and downloading Underdog. Sign up and deposit now using the promo code Dummies to get up to $1,000 of bonus cash and a free pick.

[Unknown Female]

Yes, can you hear me?

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Yeah, we can hear you.

[Drew]

Welcome to Crash Dummies Podcast.

[Unknown Female]

What's up? I finally made it.

[Mike]

Hey, is it.

[Unknown Female]

Is that an echo?

[Drew]

No, not for us. It might just be for you, but don't worry about it.

[Mike]

Okay, talk her through it. Mike.

[Drew]

I got a question for you.

[Mike]

All right.

[Unknown Male]

What's up?

[Drew]

Honestly, where'd your answer come from?

[Unknown Female]

Well, I mean, which one? Because I sent two answers.

[Drew]

Okay, what question did you answer?

[Mike]

She answered both of them.

[Unknown Female]

The one that I regret saying out loud.

[Drew]

Okay. What's something that you regret saying out loud?

[Unknown Female]

I would have to say that I'm an eater. It's a long story.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Unknown Female]

But I can make it short.

[Drew]

Yes, please, go ahead. Yeah, go ahead.

[Mike]

Please, please.

[Unknown Female]

Okay. So, like, you know, I don't know if y' all know, like, the baddies, but I'm not an eater when it comes to fighting. I'm an eater when it comes to eating. So, like, I'll give y' all an example. Like, me and my friend, we went to this club and we got a section, and. And she knows I'm an eater. Like, one thing, you know, girls, we talk about guys, we talk about what we do, what they, you know, the nicknames they give us. So apparently, like, we're sitting at this booth at this bar, and I see a cute guy. So I'm like, oh. Like, he's fine as fuck. She's like, call him over here. I'm like, no. One thing about me is I don't like being rejected. So I'm like, nah. And he looks like he got hoes. Real, real dressed, nice looking guy. But I'm like, no, I'm not Gonna say nothing. But she's like, I'm gonna say something. I'm like. So she walks over there and she's like, hi, how are you? I see them talking. I'm trying to hide my face.

[Mike]

Look at my phone.

[Unknown Female]

Like, someone's texting me. No one's texting me. So she walks back over to the freaking booth, and she's like, hey, blah, blah, blah. This is blah, blah, blah. And he's like, hey, what's up? I'm like, hey. I'm like, you look good. He's like, oh, yeah, you look good too. So then she's like, you're not gonna get his number. I'm like, no. She's like, well, I just wanna let you know my friends are eater. And I'm like, oh, my gosh. My mouth dropped. Mind you, I don't know this man. I haven't even known her for two minutes, and you already letting him know I'm an eater?

[Mike]

No, that's crazy.

[Drew]

Was she wrong?

[Unknown Female]

No, she's not wrong. I'm an eater. But that guy don't know. He don't need to know that. Cause he probably gonna look at me like, oh, I need her to come eat me up. Like, no, it's not that. Not that, Right?

[Mike]

But like, so what happened?

[Unknown Female]

So, okay, after she said that, I'm like, bruh, I looked at her and she looked at me, and I'm like. And the guy, he's just standing there, like, in disbelief. Like, did she just say that she's a eater?

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Unknown Female]

So I'm looking at him, I'm like, don't say him.

[Mike]

Disbelief. Yeah.

[Kaley Cuoco]

Yeah.

[Unknown Female]

So he's. I know he's thinking like, oh, she's an eater. So I'm like, I'm sorry. Don't believe her. So he's like, nah, you good. Like, you look good. Like, you know, if you want to drink the bar. So I'm like, all right. I never. I never go to the fucking bar. So literally, you know, I don't know if y' all got iPhones. This is 2025. So, you know, like, you get on Instagram or Facebook and it says, like, people you may know or some shit like that, bruh, I'm freaking scrolling on Facebook and I see the guy that was at the bar, and then you see, like, it says, accept request. Like, accept friend request. I'm like, oh, my God, this dude done found me on Internet. Now he really wants me to eat him up.

[Mike]

So.

[Unknown Female]

You know, that happened. That happened a few months ago. But I I am talking to him. If that, you know, tells the whole story.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He came and got his eater.

[Kaley Cuoco]

Hey.

[Unknown Female]

And I'm the favorite eater. I'm the favorite eater. That's my contact name.

[Drew]

That's. That's your contact name for him?

[Unknown Female]

No, like, in his phone, it says favorite eater for you. Yeah.

[Drew]

So does he have, like, normal eaters then, too, in the song?

[Unknown Female]

No, because one thing about me is you got to be lying for me to eat you on a constant base. And I'm just like. When I met him, I'm like, you look like you got holes. And he's like, nah, I don't. You know. You know how guys be. I don't got hoes.

[Mike]

Let me. Let me put you on game. If you're in somebody's phone as favorite eater instead of, like, just your name, then there's other roles being played.

[Drew]

You know what I mean?

[Unknown Female]

No. And, I mean, I don't tell people my real name anyway. Way. So, like, he act like you know what name you want.

[Drew]

You don't got no other nicknames?

[Mike]

Initials maybe?

[Unknown Female]

Like, but I mean, it better not be another female on this phone that says favorite eater, because.

[Mike]

Yeah, I bet you it's not, but I bet you it's one that says wifey.

[Unknown Female]

Or. Or, you know, ass shot.

[Mike]

Either. Or.

[Drew]

Or.

[Mike]

Yeah, or. Somebody got a ring emoji.

[Drew]

Yeah, there's a couple heart emojis. There might be a little.

[Unknown Female]

I mean, mine. I've got a hundred and a lot emoji, so I guess that means something.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Yeah. Hey, don't. Don't even do it. Don't ruin it for him.

[Mike]

Oh, yeah, you're right.

[Drew]

It's man's mental health awareness month.

[Mike]

Girl, he love you.

[Unknown Female]

And you know what? My birthday was just last week. I'm not about to be your favorite either. He's gonna be coming to eat.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Unknown Female]

Thank you.

[Mike]

Where'd he get you for your birthday?

[Unknown Female]

Well, I was in Vegas. I just got back, so I took a solo trip to Vegas.

[Mike]

You ain't answering my question. What did he get you for your birthday?

[Unknown Female]

Nothing yet.

[Kaley Cuoco]

I mean, I don't.

[Unknown Female]

I don't really. I don't really want the kids. You can just come over and just let me be the favorite eater.

[Drew]

I. I enjoy.

[Mike]

We not gonna ruin a happy home or happy homes.

[Unknown Female]

He's gonna be the only one ruining is he finds another one, and he better not.

[Mike]

Yeah. All right.

[Drew]

Shout out to bro.

[Mike]

Shout out. Hey, man. You got it, brother. My bad for even trying to play.

[Unknown Female]

But, hey, you guys, you. I know y' all got a favorite eater, so don't. I mean, you might not have her saved in your phone, but y' all got a favorite eater.

[Drew]

No.

[Mike]

Hey, all I gotta say is to you, lock emoji, hundred emoji.

[Unknown Female]

You too.

[Drew]

All right, peace. What up? What up? Welcome Crash on Me's podcast.

[Unknown Male]

And, man, thank you so much for having me on, man. Nice to meet you.

[Drew]

No problem. No problem. I got a question for you. What's the. What's the pettiest reason you ended a friendship?

[Unknown Male]

Man, I freaking. I ended a friendship with a dude that I knew. Excuse me. I knew this dude since high school, and I had to break the friendship. Break the friendship apart because he decided to call off on my wedding, like, the day prior to the wedding about to happen. So I kind of knew. I should have known that something was going to happen like this, because right before we were getting prepared and getting the suits together, he hits me with this whole, hey, man, I might want to send you the money to pay for the suit, because knowing me, I'm probably gonna spend it. And I'm like, thinking to myself, like, bro, we're all adults. I'm not about to hold this money for you. Like, you got this on your own. Should have listened to him. So a week or so prior to the wedding, when we're getting all the suits prepared, he calls me and he's like, hey, bro, I'm trying to go get this suit, but they don't have this in stock. And I'm like, what are you talking about, bro? Like, just go to men's warehouse. Just go in there, show them this picture. They order it, and you go and pick it up a week later? And he's like, nah, I went there. They don't have it. And I'm like, what the are you talking about? They order it. Like, they. Of course they're not going to have it on hand. And so he finally has me on the phone while he's doing this, and I hear him going at the clerk. He was like, hey, man, do y' all happen to have this soon in stock or this, this and that? And he was like, yeah, we do have in the stock. I think It'll be about 375 if you want to go ahead and take this off the rack. And he was like, okay, well, I just got to go get some money out of the car, so just give me one second. And he walks out, and I'm like, so you didn't ask him if they had the suit. He's like, yeah, bro, they didn't have it in hand. And I'm like, are you at Men's Warehouse? He's like, no, I'm at. I think it was at K and G's suiting spot or something like that. I'm like, bro, take your ass to Men's Warehouse. That's what I told you to do. Why the you go to another place and then, yeah, bro.

[Mike]

Is this an ad, bro?

[Unknown Male]

Literally.

[Drew]

It'S an ad here.

[Unknown Male]

No, I literally had the picture. I'm like, bro, all you have to do is just say, hey, man, I need this to take my. Take my fitting, and we're gonna go on about our business. But he decided to go to a whole other place. And then, like, a week goes by, like, probably two or three days before the wedding, and he ironically hits me with a picture, and he goes, amen. So I wanted to go to this wedding and whatnot, but one of my homies, he got killed by the police officer. And he shows me the video of the guy laid out on the floor and everything. And I'm sitting there like, this is real convenient that this happened, like, two or three days before. I'm like, I mean, I'm like, I'm glad that. I mean, I'm sorry to hear about your friend, but, like, bro, you're supposed to be one of. One of the men in the wedding, fool. Like, what are you talking about? Your friend passed away. Like, and he was like, yeah, bro, so I'm not gonna be able to go. So I'm like, yeah, I'm not gonna talk to you anymore. Like, bro, you got me up.

[Mike]

Can you confirm that the friend didn't really die? Are you saying the friend didn't die?

[Unknown Male]

I mean, he probably did. Something tells me it happened, like, way, way prior to this, but it just conveniently popped up in his mind that his friend had passed away, so he kind of needed it as an excuse. But he did post that same weekend that he was at a funeral, but it was just like, damn. Like, so you can make the drive to go five hours to Louisiana, but not three hours to the opposite side of Oklahoma to come to my wedding.

[Mike]

Hey, bro, I think you wrong. I think you in the wrong, bro. I've never been on this side. Usually people that come me to. To this podcast, I'm kind of, like, on their side, like, with most stuff. But I'm just saying. Not. I'm just saying usually when they present a problem in a situation, I'm like, yeah, you Was right. Yeah. Like the girl that pistol whip.

[Drew]

The other two.

[Mike]

The other two people cuz they were cheating in her bed. Like that's justified.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Mike]

I've never been on this side where the person was wrong and they explained. Funeral definitely ranks over weddings.

[Drew]

But who was the. Who was this? Who was the friend to him? Like was it they. Were they close friends?

[Unknown Male]

I mean, I don't know. I think it was just somebody standing his wedding.

[Mike]

He don't know. But friends ain't I got friends. You don't know. You know what I'm saying?

[Drew]

I don't know your friends. Then how. I mean, I don't know though.

[Unknown Male]

I didn't know.

[Drew]

As somebody that had a wedding then. How much. How much does missing a. Because he was your groomsman. Yeah, one of my groomsmen.

[Unknown Male]

I think it was like one of the three.

[Drew]

How much does missing the groomsmen or missing one groomsman from a wedding affect the wedding?

[Unknown Male]

I mean, it can affect like the, like the wedding flow, which was kind of ironic because one of the dudes who was there in town missed the ceremony. So like we're talking like people who are supposed to walk out in pairs. One of the people a part of the wedding had to walk out with two people because one of my homies showed up late.

[Mike]

So one. So one didn't show up and then the other one was late. So you only got one person there at one point? Yes, yes.

[Kaley Cuoco]

I was like, bro, I really gotta reach out.

[Drew]

You had three, four groomsmen.

[Unknown Male]

It was three.

[Mike]

Yeah, three.

[Drew]

Okay.

[Mike]

And then one was late and then one didn't show up. So.

[Unknown Male]

Exactly.

[Mike]

We had two.

[Unknown Male]

Yeah, My best man, he was there.

[Mike]

Oh yeah. You chose right. You got a 33 chance. You always had nobody there.

[Drew]

Nah, that would have been crazy because that. Your wife must have been going like crazy then.

[Unknown Male]

Oh, she was pissed.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Yeah. The bride would definitely. Because that's her wedding.

[Drew]

Yeah, it's like her day. And I feel like women stress about weddings regardless sometimes.

[Mike]

Y' all got. Y' all gotta.

[Unknown Male]

Exactly.

[Mike]

I got an Eiffel Tower going down the aisle.

[Drew]

So when. So when did the other guy show up then, bro?

[Unknown Male]

Not joking, bro. In the middle of the ceremony, like going towards to when we're like presenting the rings to each other.

[Drew]

Did he walk up and take his place up there?

[Mike]

Yes. That's what he's supposed to do.

[Drew]

Not in the middle of the wedding. The attention death shifts to this. They could be late.

[Mike]

You know what he should have did? He should have said he should have Came in freestyling. I know y' all thought I was late, but this is fun.

[Drew]

That's a good plan, though.

[Mike]

Flash mob at the wedding. That was great. He took his spot. Did you look back at him?

[Kaley Cuoco]

I did.

[Unknown Male]

I was like, bro, you got me up right now, man. I was like, what was it? No, I didn't say it out loud. I just kind of just looked at him kind of like that. You know that dad look that you. That you get whenever you know you did something?

[Mike]

And I know. And I know you did it, too, because if you didn't do it, your wife would have looked at you like, hey, why are you not checking him?

[Unknown Male]

Exactly.

[Mike]

Yeah, exactly.

[Unknown Male]

And then. And then had the audacity to give this awkward ass speech when it came time for speeches and like that. He was, like, holding my shoulder like. Like an uncle, like, oh, let me tell you something about my brother. I'm like, let me tell you something, guy.

[Mike]

This is about to be the last.

[Unknown Male]

Time I ever talked to you.

[Mike]

How's your relationship now?

[Unknown Male]

Oh, I don't talk to bro no more. We had. We had a fallout. We had a fallout.

[Mike]

Did you fall out with the other dude? Oh, you fell out with the other dude, too? So you got one?

[Kaley Cuoco]

Yeah.

[Unknown Male]

Yeah, man. You know how it goes whenever, you know, you got a family, you got a wife. You know when the wife says, oh, I don't know about this guy. You know, sometimes you're like, ah.

[Mike]

I mean, this is my homie.

[Unknown Male]

But then, you know, when. When a little bit of breadcrumbs start start dropping, you got to kind of think about it a little bit more. Yeah, closely, I guess, is how you could say that.

[Mike]

Put yourself in a different environment, man. I'm glad you're getting your friend group together. I can't even call y' all group.

[Unknown Male]

Y' all just a duo, bro.

[Drew]

What? All right, bro. You have a good one.

[Unknown Male]

Hey, you too, man.

[Kaley Cuoco]

Hello.

[Drew]

Yo. Welcome to Crash Enemies podcast.

[Kaley Cuoco]

What's going on, man?

[Drew]

What up? What up here?

[Kaley Cuoco]

Just chilling, man.

[Drew]

I got a question for you.

[Kaley Cuoco]

All right. What's the question, man?

[Drew]

All right. What's the pettiest reason you ended a friendship, bro?

[Kaley Cuoco]

So, back in high school, I used to play video games with my buddy, and he had this, like, new girlfriend, right? And she came over once, and I answered the door, cursed my shirt off, and she pretended to be cool. And then I went home. And then, like, a day later, he called me and said, hey, man, I'm sorry, but you know, you can't come over without Your shirt on. I'm like, what? I mean, granted, I am a little on the thicker side. You got some mean titties, you know, but that's besides the point. Go like. Like what? 17 years later, I still ain't talking about my dude, bro. I'm telling you. It's just. I don't know what it was. I mean, they only lasted a week, but I still don't talk to him for that very reason, bro.

[Mike]

So you was trying to go over there?

[Kaley Cuoco]

Well, we went over this place from Call of Duty, and, you know.

[Mike]

But why is it shirt not on, bro?

[Kaley Cuoco]

Because that's just what. What dudes do. Am I wrong?

[Mike]

You.

[Kaley Cuoco]

I mean, when you go just play basketball, sometimes you play shirts and skins.

[Mike]

But you're going over his house to play a video game.

[Kaley Cuoco]

Bro, we're playing video games. We ain't playing freaking.

[Mike]

You know, why is your shoes.

[Kaley Cuoco]

You know, I'm just saying, man, why.

[Mike]

Is your shirt off?

[Kaley Cuoco]

That's just what we do.

[Drew]

I don't know.

[Kaley Cuoco]

It's Florida. I'm big.

[Drew]

So did both of y' all used to do that?

[Kaley Cuoco]

That don't make me gay. He ain't touched me.

[Mike]

Did y' all play video games with the door closed? And you. Both of your shirts was off?

[Kaley Cuoco]

Not the door wasn't closed, man. It was in the living room. I'm big. I'm telling you. I was sweating. My body was leaking, bro, so I off, man.

[Mike]

Oh, my God.

[Drew]

Was this a thing you guys did prior to him getting a girlfriend?

[Kaley Cuoco]

That's what we've been doing, bro, since, like, the freshman year of high school. And it was like, what.

[Mike]

What. What video game y' all be playing?

[Kaley Cuoco]

Call of Duty. You know how they say you be sprinting, playing video games?

[Mike]

Your boys probably be playing one on one, huh?

[Kaley Cuoco]

Not with him. I'll destroy him anyway. He can't handle this, even if it was. I'm just saying, man, you know, don't judge me, boy. But that's not the case, bro. I haven't talked to that man, and since my junior year in high school.

[Mike]

What's your message to him?

[Kaley Cuoco]

My message? Like, hey, bro, like, I know. I know it's been a long time, but when you ready to apologize for what you did, maybe I'll come around. Yeah. I mean, man, I'm so toxic. I just realized, man, I'm so toxic, bro.

[Mike]

You want. Hey, go get your man back.

[Kaley Cuoco]

I hate both of y' all, but I'm still listening, though. I'm still listening. You know how it goes.

[Mike]

Don't put your shirt on, bro.

[Kaley Cuoco]

Bro, I walk around my shirt off right now.

[Mike]

We good, bro. The big, big boys.

[Kaley Cuoco]

You gotta air it out, man.

[Mike]

Big boys.

[Kaley Cuoco]

Where you at, man?

[Mike]

How much you weigh, bro?

[Drew]

I just hung up. What up? What up?

[Mike]

What's the deal?

[Kaley Cuoco]

Chilling. We're good.

[Drew]

I got a question for you. What's something you want to vent about, man?

[Kaley Cuoco]

Mike sounds strange. Anyway, so I want to vent about, man, how much the podcast help me. I know I'm not the only one. That probably helped a lot of people, man. The podcast really helped a lot of people like that. Be dealing with day to day problems and all that keeps you going, man. Every. Every Wednesday. I'm looking forward to listen to this podcast.

[Drew]

I appreciate that.

[Mike]

So don't take a break.

[Kaley Cuoco]

You said? No, no, don't take no break.

[Mike]

You know I got y' all, bro. Is this for anybody out there that's just, you know, using our podcast to bypass time? Go get some help. We want vacation away from missing a week. I'm telling you, don't be dependent on us.

[Kaley Cuoco]

Hey, that's enough, man.

[Mike]

Hey, hey.

[Kaley Cuoco]

That one hour real? No, man, No.

[Drew]

I appreciate it, brother. How you been?

[Kaley Cuoco]

Day by day, you feel?

[Mike]

Yeah, man. Hey, man, we appreciate you, man.

[Kaley Cuoco]

I appreciate y' all, boy. For real, though, man. Y' all keep it up, man.

[Drew]

All right, brother.

[Mike]

All right, man. Good night.

[Kaley Cuoco]

Good night. Oh, I've got calling. That's a good night, man. I watch you, Pat.

[Mike]

That's not me.

[Kaley Cuoco]

Good night. All right, man.

[Drew]

Well, you don't like your homeboys can't say goodnight to you, man?

[Kaley Cuoco]

No, my homeboy can't say good night to me, man. Ain't never man f to say good night to me. Whether you my homeboy or not. You're not gonna tell me good night.

[Drew]

Hold on. Good morning?

[Kaley Cuoco]

I don't know. I don't like good morning. I just. I'm not a. I'm not a morning person anyway. What about good morning?

[Mike]

What about have a good night, have a good no.

[Kaley Cuoco]

Like, no. If I'm gonna go out for a club. Enjoy yourself. Have a good night. That cool, babe. I'm gonna get in the bed and go to sleep, man. No. You ain't gonna say good night like you just took me in now.

[Mike]

I'm about to text you, bro. Socks or no socks, bro?

[Kaley Cuoco]

No.

[Drew]

All right, bro. Yeah, yo, good one. Yo, yo, welcome to Crash Zombies Podcast. What's the deal?

[Mike]

What's the deal? What's the deal? Not, man, you know, it's Sunday thriving Chilling.

[Drew]

I feel it.

[Mike]

I feel it's usually like. Not though. Like the sentence after a Sunday, but usually something.

[Drew]

What's something you want to vent about, bro?

[Mike]

There's no reason why I should feel like I'm broke than a. And I make almost six figures.

[Drew]

Almost six figures or six figures almost?

[Mike]

I'm like eight, nine grand off, I guess.

[Drew]

Man, that's good. Nah, bro, it's not.

[Mike]

It's not good when you got hella kids, bro. This trash. How many kids you got? I got four kids. How old are you, bro?

[Unknown Male]

I have 27.

[Drew]

Oh, damn.

[Mike]

How old is your oldest?

[Drew]

Both my.

[Mike]

I got ghetto twins, bro.

[Drew]

They both eight.

[Mike]

Eight.

[Drew]

Okay.

[Mike]

Yeah, they like the different.

[Drew]

Yeah, different. Yeah, same time, different baby mamas.

[Mike]

How close are they, bro?

[Unknown Male]

Dead ass.

[Mike]

Two weeks apart, bro. Okay, so they eight. Okay, so how old is the next two then, bro? Actually bro, it took me five years to have another kid after that. What type of dumbass dude is this? I had a vasectomy. Two 8 year olds, my life, they need all the attention they can get. So what, what else you have, bro? I got a three year old, she'd be four next month. And then I got a. Should be my other daughter who won. She'd be two in September. So you got a, you got a two year old and a what?

[Drew]

A two year old?

[Kaley Cuoco]

Yeah, bro.

[Mike]

So I got two eight year olds.

[Drew]

A three year old, all by the same. How many baby moms?

[Unknown Male]

Hey, two, three.

[Mike]

Yeah, they need to cut your off. Hey, look, I done made the appointment. Oh, wait, wait. This is the only way you can save it. You have to. You're. Please tell me you're together with this last one.

[Drew]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Unknown Male]

I mean we be beefing but you.

[Mike]

Know, we cool, bro, you need to hold on to that one.

[Drew]

Yeah, yeah, that's my ball.

[Unknown Male]

I ain't got no choice.

[Mike]

What you mean that's my ball? Is crazy27 using that. But I will say, bro, you need to hold on to that because if you go into the single world again, bro, I'm telling you, I'm.

[Drew]

Yeah, it's raps.

[Mike]

You won't get a date, I promise you that.

[Kaley Cuoco]

Ah, that's cat. I'm telling you, they be going, it's all good.

[Mike]

Yeah, we're gonna see who that is.

[Drew]

But that's why life is expensive. Because you have. You have three different households.

[Mike]

Yeah. You actually don't make enough money. Talking about almost six figures. You need a million dollars.

[Drew]

Because I felt you, I felt you on that. Because even making Six figures. You still kind of feel sometimes it's just life gets more expensive.

[Mike]

Bro. Before the last one, when it was just like, two baby mama, I'm like, damn, bro. And I was with, like, my, like, one of my baby moms, so I got two kids, but I'm like, this cool, bro. Like, I'm making a lot of money.

[Unknown Male]

As soon as the last one dropped.

[Mike]

I'm like, damn, I am poor.

[Drew]

This sucks.

[Mike]

Yeah, all four of them got different birthdays. Whoa. All right, be cool.

[Drew]

All right, bro. You have a good one.

[Mike]

All right, man. Y' all say Y' all play 8823 in the lottery, though. Hey, my kids got a left hand.

[Unknown Male]

I'm cool.

[Drew]

I ain't going nowhere. Yo, welcome to Crash Dummies Podcast. Pretty good. Pretty good. I got a question for you. What's something you want to vent about?

[Unknown Male]

He's real clean lately.

[Drew]

You say that again. We can't hear you. We can't hear you.

[Unknown Male]

Hold up.

[Drew]

Are you on speakerphone right now?

[Unknown Male]

No, I'm on my AirPods.

[Drew]

Yeah, take the mpods out, bro.

[Mike]

Grown man, take your air.

[Unknown Male]

Man, shut up.

[Drew]

You sound way better. It's always the AirPods.

[Mike]

Don't tell me to shut up. You just let this man let you take.

[Drew]

All right.

[Mike]

Hey, Mike, tell him. Shake something, bro. Listen to anything you say.

[Drew]

All right? What's something you want to event about?

[Unknown Male]

Yeah, I got this buddy of mine. He's very. He's becoming very clingy. Like, we've been hanging out recently. I took a hiatus. I haven't talked to him for, like, two or three years. And then out of nowhere, I. I got in contact with a mutual friend of ours, and we've been hanging out, and this mutual friend of ours started bringing me around him again. And my buddy is self employed. He runs, like, his own shop, so he wants me around him all the time. Lately that's always been doing is. He'll be calling me early in the morning, six, seven in the morning, and he wants me to come hang, hang out with him all day. He'll be doing that from, like, 6, 7 in the morning. And then he won't let me go home or, like, at all until, like, eight, nine at night.

[Drew]

What is he doing to not let you go home?

[Unknown Male]

Like, he's just. He'll find his ways of, like, saying, oh, he needs a hand with a certain project he's doing for, like, a certain thing.

[Mike]

Are you getting paid for this?

[Unknown Male]

No, I'm not getting paid for this. It's just him wanting to hang out with me.

[Mike]

So how do you. How are you? How are you there all day? If he has work, what do you do for work?

[Unknown Male]

Nothing. I don't do anything. Like, I help him out. Like, last time I was there, he was. I was helping him out install an engine on like an 05 truck. And he spent the whole day leaving the shop. And then I'd sit there in the shop with his, like, employee and just we'd talk for like, good two, three hours while he was gone. He'd go say he's gonna go talk to a client or go do something. And he'd come back and then he'd be like, all right, let me eat lunch. I'll eat lunch real quick. We ate lunch together. And then we'd be sitting there after. We'd eat lunch. An hour would go by, two hours would go by. If it's just sitting there after we ate.

[Mike]

I'm sorry to cut you off, but what do you do?

[Drew]

That's what I'm trying to get.

[Unknown Male]

Like, nothing. I don't do anything there. I just stand around.

[Drew]

What do you do for a living? Like, what is your occupation?

[Unknown Male]

I'm a trust builder. I build trustes for a living.

[Mike]

Oh, okay. So how do you have time to be at the shop all day?

[Unknown Male]

Well, recently, I think I'm on vacation right now.

[Drew]

Just go to work.

[Unknown Male]

Trying to enjoy my vacation.

[Drew]

Don't know how he's forcing you to be there. Tell no.

[Mike]

We got some horny dudes. What type of aura he got that got you working for him?

[Drew]

All right, bro. You have a good one, man.

[Mike]

He pipping you out, bro? Say yeah, work my shift. I'll be back. Work this shit, bitch. He really pimping them out though.

[Drew]

As though I was just you on vacay, bro.

[Mike]

Come work at the shop. Don't go to Cancun.

[Drew]

You up with a product. This episode is brought to you by Amazon Prime. From streaming to shopping, prime helps you get more out of your passion. So whether you're a fan of true crime or prefer a nail biting novel from time to time, with services like Prime Video, Amazon Music, and fast free delivery, prime makes it easy to get more out of whatever you're into or getting into. Visit Amazon.comprime to learn more. Pro paint days are back at Lowe's and Mylo's Pro Rewards members can save even more with limited time deals right now. Buy one, get one half off Select HGTV Home by Sherwin Williams Primer and ceiling paint. Plus get free same Day delivery to your job site when you order by 2pm Offer valid through 6. 13. Delivery by 8pm Subject to driver availability. Additional terms apply. C loads.com SameDayDelivery for details. McCrispy strips are now at McDonald's.

[Mike]

I hope you're ready for the most.

[Drew]

Dippable chicken in McDonald's history.

[Mike]

Dip it in all the sauces.

[Drew]

Dip it in that hot sauce in your bag. Dip it in your McFlurry. Larry, your dip is your business. McCrispy strips at McDonald's.

[Mike]

Yo. Yo, bro. What's the deal?

[Unknown Male]

Hey, what's happening? What's going on? Thanks for having me. Thanks for having me on.

[Drew]

No problem.

[Mike]

Well, you guys voice sound like God.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Feel like I'm praying right now. All right, Name a time you were a problem.

[Unknown Male]

All right, so this goes back to. This is 2020. Okay. You know, I just started seeing my wife. We probably been out about a year, right? All right, So a little more context is needed. My wife met her best friend through me because me and her best friend were a thing for, like, four years on and off. So basically, you know, her best friend never had good luck with a man because never find a guy who want to stick around, because we all just come in and do what we got to do and get out of there. But, like, she meets this dude, right? And she really likes him a lot. They're going, well, but he does her dirty, has a baby on her, all that. So they break up. You know, my wife, being the caring person she is, she's like, hey, let's throw a surprise party for old girls. We just gonna do it big because Remember, this is 2020. Everything shut down.

[Mike]

Right, right, right.

[Unknown Male]

So, you know, we do the birthday party. It goes over crazy. Everyone's having a great time drinking, smoking, what have you get to the end of the night, and someone's like, hey, let's go to, like, the little one bar that didn't close down. So we're like, I bet we're gonna go to the bar. So we get to the bar, you know, more drinking shots. I'm not a liquor drinker, so if I get. If I get on the liquor, that's it for me. I'm just a beer drinker. But, you know, we're. We're doing. We're at the bar, I'm talking to her best friend. Just kind of catching up. Because, you know, we're not as close as we used to be for obvious reasons. But we get, you know, she. She mentioned something about old boy and I'm sitting there like, damn, man, I'm sorry to hear that. That's crazy. You know, he would do that. She starts tearing up a little bit, and I start feeling real bad. I'm like, hey, don't. Don't do that here, man. We out here having a good time. It's your birthday she talking about. You know, man, I'm just never gonna find anyone to be with me. You know, I'm getting older, yada, yada, yada. So, you know, I'm. I'm feeling bad. So I give her a hug, you know, I just give her a nice warm embrace, a friendly embrace, as one would do, you know? Then she really starts crying. I'm feeling horrible, mind you. I don't know where my wife is at that point. She's somewhere in the bar. So, you know, I'm holding her, she crying, you know, and she. I just feel so bad. I give her, you know, let's give.

[Mike]

Her a little kiss, a little on.

[Unknown Male]

The forehead, you know, Just a little kiss on the forehead. You know, nothing. Nothing super crazy, okay? But that's when my wife shows up. And that's what she. That's all she sees. So now she flips out. She's like, the going on here. I'm like, man, you see Beth? She's so sad. You know, she.

[Drew]

She.

[Unknown Male]

She crying and she's real upset.

[Mike]

It's so crazy.

[Unknown Male]

No, but.

[Mike]

Why he laugh like, hey, man, shut up. Hey, young up.

[Drew]

Yeah. No, here he is. This thing was still talking.

[Unknown Male]

I thought y' all hung up. I thought y' all hung up. I'm like, oh, okay. I guess that's it. No, no.

[Mike]

Okay, keep going. Okay, she. She reacting right now. You just kissed her on her forehead. And y' all just got nothing, right? Y' all got nothing. Tongue kissing or what happened?

[Unknown Male]

Hey, hold on, hold on, hold on.

But now you know. So she's like, what the is that? I'm like, hey, it's not. It's just, you know, just, you know, friendly, platonic. And I grabbed my wife and I give her a kiss on the forehead. Same deal. That didn't help the situation. Now she's more upset. I'm like, what the did I do wrong?

[Drew]

Why would you give your wife a kiss in the forehead after kissing your ex on the forehead?

[Unknown Male]

You know how I told y' all I don't really drink liquor, Right?

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Unknown Male]

See, there you go. I was up in my mind. It's like, no, see, we cool. We cool. Everything's cool, you know, Or.

[Mike]

But you Got a forehead fetish. Your wife?

[Unknown Male]

I ain't gonna lie to you. Oh, I ain't gonna lie. Rihanna is my number one, man. She does a big ass forehead.

[Drew]

Oh, my God.

[Mike]

She's taken, brother.

[Unknown Male]

I can't. I can't hold a candle to old boy.

[Mike]

Okay, I see you just into threesomes.

[Drew]

Oh, man. All right, bro. You have a good one.

[Mike]

Do that live one more time.

[Unknown Male]

Hey, man, don't do that. Hey, I just want to let y' all know, throw this in right quick. I'm a newer listener, all right? I only probably start listening to the top of the year in real time. I'm only up to episode, like, 145 right now.

[Mike]

Okay?

[Drew]

So.

[Unknown Male]

But, you know, rock with y' all. Y' all make me laugh. And I'm on the audio so that you can. You can be the dick.

[Mike]

Okay, whatever you say, officer. Once you get a fight, don't talk anymore, man. I see we're under investigation. Mentioned the CIA one time, brother. Look what happened.

[Drew]

I was like. I was about to say, once you get past, like, episode, like, 200, you probably be over. Oh, yeah, 145. He should. He should be over it, too.

[Mike]

He don't know what episode he on either. He probably gonna miss this.

[Drew]

Yeah, yeah, true.

[Mike]

Yeah, he probably gonna be fired by then. Like, you still ain't got those Crash? No, man. They just talk about jokes all day.

[Drew]

Yo, welcome to Crash Dummies Podcast. You all right?

[Kaley Cuoco]

I'm cooling, man.

[Mike]

Lord y. Man, I can tell. I can tell. Yeah, you got to tell.

[Drew]

All right. Who are you beefing with this summer?

[Mike]

What time is it? God damn.

[Drew]

I said, who you beefing with this summer?

[Kaley Cuoco]

And I'm beefing with the Knicks, man. I'm a Celtics fan. Them ass ended our season and get skunked by the paces, man. Them.

[Drew]

They didn't get skunk, though.

[Kaley Cuoco]

It was a gentleman, bro. They just tapped him on their back like. You know how it be, bro.

[Mike]

5 is a new sweep, bro. Ain't nobody. Really?

[Drew]

Yeah, it's five. Like the gentleman's sweep.

[Mike]

Now, hold on. Let's address some bigger problems here. It is 11:40, 49am on Monday, and you. You high. You drunk, you good.

[Kaley Cuoco]

I'm loaded, but I'm not drunk. What the.

[Mike]

You say you loaded?

[Kaley Cuoco]

Yeah, I'm loaded. I'm getting. I got work in a few.

[Drew]

That's how y' all talk in Boston.

[Kaley Cuoco]

I'm not from Boston. I'm from New Orleans.

[Mike]

Wait, what. What y' all say?

[Kaley Cuoco]

Huh?

[Mike]

You say you. What Loading.

[Drew]

Loaded.

[Kaley Cuoco]

I'm loading. I'm from New Orleans. I'm not from Boston.

[Mike]

No, I'm just trying to get the lingo down. What. What is.

[Drew]

Sound like saying? Loaded.

[Mike]

Loaded is.

[Kaley Cuoco]

I'm loaded. L O. Like loaded like a gun. Like.

[Mike]

Oh, loaded. Okay. Like, you loaded. You load it. Getting ready for work.

[Kaley Cuoco]

Tight. Tight type.

[Mike]

Put me. Okay. I'm loaded right now too. Yeah. I. With this.

[Drew]

There was that one girl that's talking about not liking the word type.

[Kaley Cuoco]

Oh, bro, them hoes don't like a lot of we do. I don't know, bro. These hoes, dog, in all honesty.

[Mike]

I.

[Kaley Cuoco]

Ain'T really even been with these hoes recently, bro. These hoes been blowing me.

[Mike]

Dog is going on the p. This is. He knew what was happen and he still.

[Kaley Cuoco]

These hoes act, bro. These act.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah. Okay.

[Kaley Cuoco]

Be blowing it, bro.

[Mike]

Like.

[Drew]

Agitated, right?

[Kaley Cuoco]

Yeah. Ag.

[Drew]

Yeah, Things just shorted everything now.

[Mike]

We can't let you talk like that. Why are you talking like that, bro?

[Drew]

The girls he might be talking about might be hoes, though.

[Mike]

But you can't. You can't generalize like that.

[Kaley Cuoco]

What you bought.

[Drew]

Come on.

[Kaley Cuoco]

No, bro.

[Drew]

What the. What the girls. What's the. What's the woman? What are the women like? What are. What are the women like in New Orleans?

[Kaley Cuoco]

These hoes really, like, gutter and grimy, but, like, you know, they got a select few that's really there, you know? I mean, you just gotta dig through. It's like. It's like a thrift store around here, you know? I mean, sometimes you find some good, sometimes you run up on some trash. But you just gotta keep going, bro. Like, you know, that moment you give up, you lost.

[Drew]

How's the digging been going for you then?

[Mike]

What the.

[Kaley Cuoco]

Like I said, I didn't find a few good ones. Find a few trash ones.

[Drew]

But why couldn't you keep the good ones?

[Kaley Cuoco]

I don't know. I'm young, bro. Ain't like that. Had 40 good ones.

[Mike]

I know. Yeah. Yeah. You're the bad thing at the thrift store.

[Kaley Cuoco]

You say I'm the bad, bad thing?

[Mike]

Yeah, bro. You can't get your together either, bro.

[Kaley Cuoco]

My together. I got a good job, I got a car. I'm doing my thing.

[Drew]

Good job. How are you in a relationship?

[Kaley Cuoco]

I'm not in a relationship, bro. I got ho.

[Mike]

That's what I'm saying. On level nine out of 100. Talk about I'm here. All right, man, you got a long way to go. You're on the right path, though.

[Drew]

I would just say all that, but I mean. Yeah, that's true. That's true.

[Kaley Cuoco]

Come on, now. I got a good job, bro.

[Drew]

But you shoot two.

[Mike]

400 right now.

[Drew]

I guess my point. My point is that you're on your way, though. What else are you bringing to, like, the relationship besides, like, that's what we're talking about. Like, besides what you have, like, emotionally, how are you in a relationship you.

[Mike]

Just can't have and just expect it to go well?

[Kaley Cuoco]

I've been working on that.

[Mike]

That's what we saying. You ain't there yet.

[Kaley Cuoco]

I've been working on that thing at.

[Mike]

The thrift store because you ain't. You know what I'm saying?

[Kaley Cuoco]

No, yeah. I'm not. It's not that I'm bringing bad emotional vibes, but, like, I'm not like, an emotional support type.

[Mike]

It's not what I'm saying, but it's what I'm saying. Type.

[Drew]

I feel it. I feel it.

[Mike]

You know what I'm saying? Type, Bro, just.

[Kaley Cuoco]

Bro, when you say type that, like. Just, like, it opens up for, like. Like, it's like, so many options.

[Drew]

Yeah. I feel it's like, etc.

[Kaley Cuoco]

Type.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Drew]

You have a good one, man.

[Kaley Cuoco]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Need to unload. All right. I want you to guess who said this or what profession they're in.

[Drew]

Okay.

[Mike]

Okay. It literally is about 3 inches, so I don't think it's that big of a deal.

[Drew]

A sex worker.

[Mike]

This is Chip Kelly, the offensive coordinator of the Raiders. He was talking about Alon Genti's stance, his running back stance. You know, he has a. He has a high stance, and he's talking about lowering his stance.

[Drew]

Is Chip Kelly the. He's still in football?

[Mike]

Yeah, bro. He keep a job. I don't know if he, like, be getting fired or he, like, new challenges or moving on.

[Drew]

Is he a head coach or just offensive coordinator?

[Mike]

He's offensive coordinator with Pete Carroll as a head coach. Oh, yeah.

[Drew]

Interesting.

[Mike]

Yeah, Yeah. I just, like. I don't know. He keep a job, though.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Also, I went to a strip club in Atlanta called Cheetah.

[Drew]

Okay.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Drew]

Did you go there with a group of guys? Because remember your stance on strip clubs?

[Mike]

I did not go to a group of guys.

[Drew]

Okay.

[Mike]

Okay. Appreciate it. But. So I went to a strip club, and there was a stripper that watches our pot.

[Drew]

Oh, shout out to me. Shout out to her.

[Mike]

Yeah. I had nobody half naked. Just say my name, Pat. In public.

[Drew]

Like, yo, what the.

[Mike]

No, that's crazy.

[Drew]

How was it? Strip club. Club.

[Mike]

I Feel like, I feel like it's weird to talk about what goes on in the strip club. I will say, I will say, like, man, some of you dudes are weak minded, bro. Like, I like, I watch some of them women, they, they walk dudes down in there.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Like, they got their psychology of like what a man wants, what they. Man, they get them. Obviously if you go to a strip club, you've already, you're already interested.

[Drew]

Right.

[Mike]

So they got you at that point.

[Drew]

Point.

[Mike]

Right. But I'm seeing them like, how was. They was working in the strip club, man. They catch a dude walking out the bathroom, where are you going? To make it feel as natural as possible. They not just walking up to tables like, oh, do you want to dance? They walking like, oh. We naturally made eye contact. We naturally started a conversation. It's just like, man, they finessing the out of y' all. But hey, I know y' all finessing and that's okay though.

[Drew]

Is that, is that considered like a form of tricking too, too?

[Mike]

Yeah, I think so.

[Drew]

You think so?

[Mike]

Yeah, Especially I feel like I don't know why I take tricking to me is like giving someone money, not thinking that you're going to get anything in return.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Mike]

That's what my definition of tricking is. I know some people got different definitions.

[Drew]

So spending money on somebody.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Without expecting anything in return.

[Mike]

Yes. This is like, I got it. That's how much I got it.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Mike]

You know what I mean? Like, like I can, you know, buy you something and just be like, we cool, we friends, like type. Like that's. It's like, I feel like it's a form of running game.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Mike]

For a guy. And then sometimes the girl participates. Just like. Okay, let me show you something. I'm gonna take all this and you still not getting. How is that? You know what I mean? That's when it's gonna clash.

[Drew]

I guess the, the saying is it, it ain't tricking if you got it right. Wait, wait, wait. But I'm just saying though, there are some dudes that feel like they trick and they don't got it.

[Mike]

It.

[Drew]

No, it's dudes out here like tricking their. Like they spending the last. Their hard earned money.

[Mike]

There was. Exactly, man. These dudes out here buying girls, cars and they ain't got it.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Dudes out here with two cardinals just because they got a beautiful girl and then they afraid the girl. If you afraid your girl gonna leave you, bro, come on now, bro. That should be the last thing on your Mind, how can you even work hard at life if you're afraid somebody gonna leave you if you're not getting them a bunch of as. Like, if that's your. Like, I'm not gonna lie. Like, the people that have the love language of, like, gift giving or, like, gift receiving, like, receiving gifts, that the next line after you say that's your love language is just be like. And not even the big ones, the small ones. That means I'm like, that better be your next line because, like, I would never. Like, of course I want you to have the finer things. Of course I want you to have, like, diamonds and stuff like that. Whatever I can give you. But, like, someone that desires that. Yeah, that's one of their top things. It's just like, hey, I come from a little bit different background. Yeah, we gotta work for this.

[Drew]

I've seen dudes, like, the girls working, like, bottle service and, like, they come to the club and just like, damn near helicopter their girl the whole time.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Just, like, legit. Just follow her around. Like, that's that kind of odd, man.

[Mike]

I. That happened. That cheetah. But it was for a different reason. Friday, you know?

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Mike]

But you know what I'm saying, It's just like, oh, damn. Every time she has a conversation with a guy, she's a bartender then you. She has to come back to you to check in.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Mike]

It's like, damn. I mean, but if that's a relationship, sometimes I do need that reassurance. Like, if you're gonna be working, I mean, that's just him.

[Drew]

Yeah, I feel it. It's just like, there. There's that in between part of when she's going to work, work and doing the little dance at the bottles and him standing there like, legit, not drinking on the. On his phone in the corner. It's like, all right, that.

[Mike]

That's why I'm being people's business. Because you'll look at a situation like that and be looking at the dude like, oh, you a sucker, man. Blah, blah. But the whole time it's the girl, and she's like, I want you to be there so they know I got a boyfriend so they don't try to talk to me. You know what I mean? Like, it's her that. You know what I mean? So that's why you got to stay out of people business.

[Drew]

I feel it. I just don't know if I could. Like, I know I wouldn't because, you know, as a. As a. As a. There's as a bottle, sir. Even if you're just a restaurant working at a restaurant, there's a. There's still a. A sense of like, you have to be a little bit. Have a little charisma. You know what I'm saying? You can't just be like dry and stuff like that. So seeing your girl kind of like do that. Okay.

[Mike]

But the thing is, especially seeing your woman and like a. That type of energy got to be more smiles and stuff like that. So you watch your girl smile all day. It's 5:00am she like, why the. The heat so hot? It's like, oh, you just. I just watch you be happy with everybody in the club turn up like you was earlier.

[Drew]

People say that sometimes where it's like, I hear the argument sometimes girls make is like, I. I feel like you're more happy around your homeboys than you are with me now.

[Mike]

Some of these dudes do, man.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Yeah. They. Some people, Some people, they legit hate the person they with. And instead of just like being like, damn, you might not be my person, they just continue hating the person they with. Say, baby, some people be running from a girl.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Every chance they get. Like, damn, bro.

[Drew]

I think that is, that is important too, to actually get into a relationship with someone you have. You have fun with.

[Mike]

Fun like, like real fun. Not just like, damn, we have sex three times.

[Drew]

Yeah. It legit can't just be. Because obviously there has to be the, the sexual attractiveness for you if that's your thing. And you know, the physical attractiveness and all that stuff, the other stuff. But you do have to have a moment where it's like, outside this house. We can go somewhere and I can have fun with you.

[Mike]

Yeah. But so on both sides, people are. Are boring. Yeah, people are boring. There's dudes out here that can't even put a date together. They literally can't, bro. Just. It's literally an app, bro. You go in there, you. You pick. Go to Tick Tock or something. Find the best restaurants, save up your little coins. Surprise with a day. Just send her the reservation. Pick you up at 7:30. Whatever she got, she gonna cancel that day.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Mike]

She just wants somebody to love her that. That much. That's all you got to do. Little man, he mad as hell right now. Now what is this called?

[Drew]

Open table. Oh, why Elon in Trump fighting? I kind of. I saw that.

[Mike]

I heard he got into it with somebody at the. I like spreading rumors about Elon. I don't give a he. Like, like, if I was talking about, like this was like A situation with Obama, I probably like, I'll be like, I don't know cuz this such and such. But every statement I make about Elon right now I'm taking his facts. Yeah, I heard he got into it with somebody at the White House because he was drugged up.

[Drew]

Now I think whatever Elon is, is somewhat on the spectrum, right? You. You would say that.

[Mike]

Hey, now you take it to two.

[Drew]

No, I'm just saying I think that he's on the spectrum in regardless. I'm not gonna self diagnose him or anything, but I'm just saying there are some.

[Mike]

Look it up.

[Drew]

There are some instances where he, He.

[Mike]

Did he say that?

[Drew]

I think he said no. He said that. Yeah, yeah, I think it's. I just don't want to like Elon on spectrum.

[Mike]

Elon has publicly discussed being on the autism spectrum, specifically identifying the aspect.

[Drew]

Burgers. Yeah, I was gonna say that.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah.

[Drew]

So. So there are some times where he's standing still and you can kind of see his brain like kind of working a million miles per hour. So it does kind of look like a little odd sometimes or, or you know. Yeah, but he kind of dropped the bomb of like Trump being on the Epstein file. So that's why I didn't come out and stuff like that. I don't know.

[Mike]

I think he deleted the tweet. I was looking for the tweet.

[Drew]

Yeah, but it's interesting when somebody does stuff like that because it's like, I'm with you and I knew this stuff about you, but until you pissed me off. That's when I want to expose whatever possibility can happen. You. I just don't like that. I don't like. It's just like even with dudes, you're like, oh, dudes fall out. And like, yeah, you. He hit, he hit his girl. Right. Like you were boys with him while he was doing that until he pissed you off. Yeah. That's when you want to like go out and you know, claim that you're holy to the endow.

[Mike]

I think, I think with Elon, I think they, I think they all had different plans on what Elon's role was going to be after they won the presidency. And I don't know, like, obviously they needed Elon to win the presidency. Presidency. Yeah, he. He gave them the boots that they.

[Drew]

Twitter. Twitter. And like him doing podcasts and stuff, like was a really big reason.

[Mike]

Really big reason. And podcasts really live on Twitter. Yeah, some podcasts too for sure. Clips for sure. Like we just got into The Twitter game, like just recently. So. But he helped them. And then I guess maybe he thought that he had. Was going to be there the whole presidency or be around. And I think they had a plan for him not to be there anymore. You know what I mean?

[Drew]

He also was just like stocks and Tesla was like, the ownership was like getting on his ass for not like, actually doing his job. This is like, you don't. You hardly get paid for this. This is what your actual job is. It's Tesla so focused on that. And yeah people.

[Mike]

I don't get how people tell him to do his job. Like, yeah, oh, Tesla lost such and such billion. Like, you think he give a bro?

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Mike]

His phone bill still got paid.

[Drew]

I think Elon now is in a weird position. It's like he's on the island of. What's the. The term? Whatever island of no. 1 right now. Just on his own little island because he was so far right that people on the left hated him. Right?

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Drew]

Or people on the far. Whatever. People didn't like, dislike them. And then now people on the right kind of don't like him anymore now because the. Because of Trump.

[Mike]

Yeah, he beef.

[Drew]

And people on the left is like, nah, stay over there. So it's kind of like in his.

[Mike]

Just on. In Atlanta, my president. Boy, I don't care if you send.

[Drew]

Your ass back to Africa.

[Mike]

I don't care if you got cheeseburgers or not. You not be with my president. Like, bro, shut the up.

[Drew]

Not. It is crazy, though, because just seeing them going back and forth on. On the Internet, it doesn't seem real. It's like, I feel like people in the. In the past will look at today if we explain. These are. If there was a time machine. We can go in the past, right, and show them, hey, our president is arguing with this dude named Elon and stuff like that. They wouldn't believe it. And I. I'm also interested to see what the.

[Mike]

Go back, how far? Huh? Go back?

[Drew]

Yeah, it don't matter. They're both white.

[Mike]

I guess nobody worried about that, bro.

[Drew]

But even like, I wonder.

[Mike]

Imagine going back in time. Like, yo, y' all won't believe that. Like, bro, we got bigger problems. Problems, Mike.

[Drew]

I wonder how history this time we're living in is going to be written in history books in the. In the. In the future.

[Mike]

I think, obviously, I think Trump's going to be a big figure. He's been like, a big figure for like, probably the past decade, right? A little bit more so it's Just like that's what the history book's gonna be.

[Drew]

Yeah. I'm thinking like, you know how we see like Abraham. You see how we see like Abraham Lincoln and like George Washington. They're kind of like, like prominent people. One was the first president, obviously, the other one got assassinated and stuff like that. But I wonder in. In the future, like far, far in the future, like legit, how this is going to be like, interpreted, especially like Covid and we just went through a lot though. I just feel like in our lifetime there's been so many, like, random things. Like co don't seem like it was real anymore to me.

[Mike]

I don't know, bro.

[Drew]

I.

[Mike]

That cove is definitely going to be a big land. Like we. We live through history like we live through a time. Like it was like the movies at some point. Like when, you know when towns get taken over in movies and nobody allowed outside.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Mike]

But there was a moment where like, I didn't see anybody outside and I lived downtown. You know what I mean?

[Drew]

Yeah. People were driving up to their grandparents window and waving at them.

[Mike]

A lot of people didn't experience because you like, you live in a suburb, like all y' all cousins and y' all live in the same neighborhood. Small town in Oklahoma City. And it's like, bro, like living in a city, like, not to say Milwaukee is the biggest city, but like seeing something that's so vibrant be shut down and like the only people you see out, like, you gotta have a dog if you out.

[Drew]

Yeah, you ain't got no dog.

[Mike]

They will. They were shooting you on the spot.

[Drew]

Crazy time.

[Mike]

I'm like, what are you doing at. Hey, what you mean?

[Drew]

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[Kaley Cuoco]

I think you're on mute.

[Pat]

Workday starting to sound the same.

[Drew]

I think you're on mute.

[Pat]

Find something that sounds better for your career on LinkedIn. With LinkedIn job collections, you can browse curated collections by relevant industries and benefits like Flexpto or hybrid workplaces so you can find the Right job for you. Get [e-mail] jobs finding where you fit. LinkedIn knows how.

[Mike]

Close your eyes. Exhale. Feel your body relax, and let go.

[Unknown Male]

Of whatever you're carrying today.

[Pat]

Well, I'm letting go of the worry that I wouldn't get my new contacts in time for this class. I got them delivered free from 1-800-contacts.

[Mike]

Oh, my gosh. They're so fast. And breathe.

[Pat]

Oh, sorry. I almost couldn't breathe when I saw the discount they gave me on my first order.

[Mike]

Oh, sorry. Namaste.

[Pat]

Visit 1-800-contacts.com today to save on your first order.

[Mike]

1-800-Contacts.

[Drew]

I. I think I'm at the age now where I go on Facebook marketplace with no plan of buying anything, just to see what people are selling. Just because sometimes I saw like the other day, I saw like a. A replica Batman suit, like, for three grand, like a real Batman suit. I'm like, oh, there's people out there. We're real Batman.

[Mike]

We haven't. We haven't reached that time yet, though.

[Drew]

What do you mean?

[Mike]

We're still like, of age of the things that we will want, they're being created now, right? So right now there's. There's something that, you know, we bought or had that we have right now that in 30 years, you know, we're gonna be rich at an auction. Like, hey, man, that's that what you call.

[Drew]

Yeah, I'm a bit.

[Mike]

A million dollars. Just like, damn, I got that. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? It's gonna be something like that. Like, you gonna be old with $30 million. You're gonna be walking up, you're gonna see that thing right behind you. It's gonna be like $1 million.

[Drew]

You.

[Mike]

But I take it, man. I used to have one. Just like before this dude Pat beat the out of me and took everything.

[Drew]

Hell, no.

[Mike]

He a triple billionaire.

[Drew]

Now. Becoming a billionaire off your friend's back is crazy.

[Mike]

Whoa, who's selling ass? You stole my phone.

[Drew]

No, that is the worst thing is losing something in a room. And it's the only other person there is. Like one of your good friends.

[Mike]

Nah, the up part about it is if you lose something and there's only one person that looks like they steal it, you the only person that look like still in here, bro. You keep watching that person. You looking for it. But, like, yeah, I'm only watching you, bro. You look like, bro, you got dirt under your fingernails. Like, you still, bro, like, you just don't see dirt.

[Drew]

I've seen fight start because dudes say, bro, I got to check your pockets type of.

[Mike]

No checking my pocket. I don't have it, bro. You either got to believe me or get down, bro.

[Drew]

At that point, right?

[Mike]

Yeah. Yeah. Out of here, bro. All right, all right. Tweet of the week.

[Drew]

Okay.

[Mike]

I'm about to line you up, bro.

[Drew]

Crazy. Crazy. What the, bro?

[Mike]

L. Somebody up. It's more about killing somebody than what you think.

[Drew]

I know. That's what exactly why I thought about it, though.

[Mike]

All right, all right. Okay, okay. This is a news article. Man who donated his mother's body to an Arizona center for alzheimer's research discovers it was sold to u. S. Military for $6,000. She was strapped to a chair and blown up in a blast test.

[Drew]

What the.

[Mike]

What the is a blast? What the, bro? Somebody told me they accidentally use my mom in a blast test. What? Oh, okay. Okay. This is a text between two lovers. One of them said, when you get here, you're all mine.

[Drew]

Okay.

[Mike]

Double emoji face. The person replies, not if I ship myself on the way. They reply, why would you say that?

[Drew]

Okay, well, that's like. I don't get that type of the. The. The pre. Sex talk.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Before, like, when you're already on your way. I get it, but I don't. Like, it's like one of those things where it's like. Like I'd rather have it in person.

[Mike]

It has to make sense. Yeah, you have to make me think we wasn't gonna have sex at this place. You know what I'm saying? Like. Like, you know what I'm saying? We upstairs at your parents house and stuff at the cottage and you talk about something. Yeah. We having sex here. Like, that ain't always gonna have sex. My bad. No. Hear your dad's story, can't you.

[Drew]

Oh, I think I actually have one.

[Mike]

What?

[Drew]

I think I have one. Tweet of the week.

[Mike]

Oh, okay.

[Drew]

So the tweet reads, yours is tweet a dough week.

[Mike]

Tweet of the week. Yours is the week.

[Drew]

She a little. She a little weird, but she got a throat coat. Shoddy got jautism.

[Mike]

All right. What the. Come on, bro.

[Drew]

Johnson, that's tough. J. Autism.

[Mike]

No, jautism is crazy. What are you doing? What? You gotta change your algorithm.

[Drew]

All right, all right, here we go.

[Mike]

The bro. All right. Somebody said, I gave a crackhead 15. He looked and said, I kill a behind you, nephew.

[Drew]

No, that's. That's loyalty right there.

[Mike]

Real loyalty. 15 is like. I guess that's where I'll be cuz like I barely carry cash on me. And that's. It's specifically for that reason. I don't know why I stutter so bad.

[Drew]

Right?

[Mike]

Specifically for that reason today, junior. I gotta do it to myself cuz.

[Drew]

I do it to somebody sometimes I listen back to the pod and like damn, why was I stutter in that situation? I think cuz sometimes I talk a little faster than I think so it happens. But I don't talk like this in like person. I think cuz I. I don't have to be as entertaining in person. So know my voice. I think I was like damn, why am I talking so loud sometimes?

[Mike]

Mike Biden.

[Drew]

No, it's okay though.

[Mike]

Mike Biden. Yeah, I with it.

[Drew]

My brain. My brain has worked for. For everything I needed. My brain has worked for everything I needed it to.

[Mike]

Boy, just give it all heads everybody. All right.

[Drew]

So weird, bro. It is a weirdo. Like there's. I have a weird ass friend.

[Mike]

Jism.

[Drew]

Jism. That was the tweet of the week. You just talked about lady getting exploded.

[Mike]

Blast test. Don't forget the blast test. All right. Somebody said I gave a crackhead. Oh, I read that on.

[Drew]

See, look at you.

[Unknown Male]

Look.

[Mike]

No CTE comments. I really don't care about the cte.

[Drew]

Cuz you don't remember it.

[Mike]

That's, that's.

[Drew]

That's past Michael's problem, not mine.

[Mike]

Cte. Who got cte? Is you talking?

[Drew]

What the. Your name?

[Mike]

Get out my house. This is a hospital. I was wondering why I had white curtains. All right. Some dude said that I went to the crib. I went to her crib to get my stuff after she cheated on me and her ex broke my jaw. Oh, oh, yeah, yeah. So dude went to a girl's house to get his stuff after she cheated on him with that guy. And then that guy broke his jaw. I think somebody commented. My bad. Somebody said got cheated on and your jaw broke. A Glock would have flew into my hand like Thor's hammer. Come on.

[Drew]

Yeah, for sure. But.

[Mike]

But why would you post it though?

[Drew]

The thing I need to like. I wish we could have this type of person on the pod to kind of explain what happened. Yeah, because if you go there, right, and you see the other dude. Someone initiated the talking crazy part, right?

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Drew]

And if he initiated the talking crazy part or the du tone now come back later and get your. When I'm not here, I. Sometimes you gotta know the fights you can win and you can lose, you know?

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Drew]

You know you just have to know, like, there's situations where it's like, I'm not saying I'm a world beater, but I would say like 90 of the dudes I might come in contact with, I probably can beat up hand to hand. Right. But there is that, you know, those, those people. I was like, I have to second guess it a little bit. I'm always going to stand on business, but I might not be as the antagonist in the situation. I would say no, no.

[Mike]

And I feel like that that gives you another advantage. It's like to be dangerous and not to act dangerous.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Mike]

It's like, okay, you gonna stay on the more safe side, but you know that you can handle business. Yeah, that's how you keep an advantage, brother. Like all that. He probably went over there like, let me get my stuff. Probably walk right past the dude. Like, if you're not going over there to fight, then don't go over there.

[Drew]

Yeah. Just wait. Just wait to do's not there.

[Mike]

Just wait.

[Drew]

It's over already.

[Mike]

So if I go somewhere, if there's a dude at a place and I go somewhere, like I'm not going to get myself. I'm coming over here to fight. You talking about I ain't come to get my stuff. I might leave here without the. I don't give a.

[Drew]

That's the thing. It's like, it's interesting. I like. It is nice that people can just, you know.

[Mike]

Kidding, kidding, my bad.

[Drew]

It is nice that people can just. Can just go and fight it out and it. That be it and nothing else happened. But in certain situations I just know, like, like it doesn't end like that. There's. I feel like there's no winners like a fight. Sometimes everybody, especially when you live in these down south states with the standard stand your ground laws and like that.

[Mike]

Imagine pushing somebody and they push you back with a 12 gauge. That's a different type of push.

[Drew]

Oh man.

[Mike]

But. Oh yeah, let me week. Let's see. I think I got one more tweet of the week.

[Drew]

Okay, let's hear it.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Drew]

Boom, boom, boom. I'm giving y' all waiting music. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

[Mike]

I've been ready. Okay.

[Drew]

Ironically, I give them elevated music.

[Mike]

The worst beat I've ever heard.

[Drew]

What happened to El? What happened?

[Mike]

No, explain your beat first.

[Drew]

I think I was trying to go, she'll be coming around. But then I kind of lost track.

[Mike]

But the jazz version of Coming around the Mouth.

[Drew]

What happened to elevator music? I don't hear it anymore.

[Mike]

Elevator music. Oh, that's true. That's very true.

[Drew]

But go ahead, go to tweet at the week. I made you put your phone on everything.

[Mike]

That's one of them. Stupid ass. Where'd it go? I was like, where is it?

[Drew]

Somebody said, mike, just be saying anything. I'm like, I do just be saying anything. That's the point.

[Mike]

That's true. Okay, listen, this Somebody said, rush Hour sucks. Person says, you take that back. He responds, you jobless I met at work. Ah, man. No, he thought he was talking about a movie.

[Drew]

I get it, though.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Drew]

You.

[Mike]

You.

[Drew]

I. People are allowed to complain however they want to, but sometimes when people complain about things that people naturally like, we all don't dislike.

[Mike]

Yeah, it.

[Drew]

It can get a little confusing.

[Mike]

No, no, Cap.

[Drew]

Bro. All right. Anyway, this has been crash dummies episode 210. We're gonna be traveling a lot more.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Next stop is New York, so we have some surprises for y' all when we go to New York, so. So just let us know anybody else we should link up with.

[Mike]

Also, when y' all give suggestions on who we should link up with, actually make sure they in New York. Like, some dude sent me a podcast. I was in London. I said, new York. I typed it again. New York, bro. I'll be in New York.

[Drew]

Make sure you guys subscribe to the Patreon and. Yeah, that's all.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Appreciate y' all.

[Mike]

Appreciate you all be on the lookout for any drops. We got a lot of collabs coming out.

[Drew]

Can I do that?

[Mike]

No, you can't do that.

[Drew]

I can't fire fake guns thing. No air guns at them.

[Mike]

It's literally some army vet ducking right now.

[Drew]

My guy.