Giving Too Much Information Feat Devon Werkheiser - Episode 205

Summary

Crash Dummies Podcast with Pat and Mike
Episode 205: Giving Too Much Information Feat Devon Werkheiser
Release Date: May 7, 2025

---

1. Introduction & Guest Welcome (00:01 - 01:46)

The episode begins with a series of advertisements from Nordstrom, State Farm, and Lowe’s, setting the stage before Pat and Mike officially welcome listeners to the Crash Dummies Podcast. Shortly after the ads, guest Devon Werkheiser joins the hosts.

Pat:

“Welcome to Crash Dummies podcast. We. We got Pat here.”
(01:33)

Mike:

“Yeah, we don't know what episode this is gonna be.”
(01:40)

The hosts humorously acknowledge the uncertainty surrounding the episode numbering, creating an informal and engaging atmosphere.

---

2. Devon’s Background and Experiences on "Ned’s Declassified" (01:46 - 15:14)

Devon Werkheiser delves into his experiences on the iconic Nickelodeon show "Ned’s Declassified School Survival Guide." The discussion touches on the challenges of being typecast, his time juggling acting with homeschooling, and the impact of his role on his personal life.

Devon:

“Ned. I mean, Ned was it.”
(10:19)

Pat:

“How long did the show run for? Like, 2000.”
(05:13)

Devon explains the longevity of reruns and the dedication of fans, highlighting how the show ran for three seasons but continued to resonate with audiences for over a decade.

Devon:

“I honestly have grown to accept… that’s kinda just part of the game.”
(12:20)

He reflects on the unpredictability of an acting career, emphasizing that even beloved actors face uncertainties and fluctuations in their professional journeys.

Pat:

“Not much about me though.”
(12:50)

The conversation reveals Devon's mixed feelings about his show's enduring popularity—grateful for the opportunities it provided but also yearning for diverse roles beyond his early fame.

---

3. Rebooting "Ned’s Declassified": Challenges and Insights (15:14 - 27:15)

The hosts and Devon explore the concept of rebooting "Ned’s Declassified School Survival Guide" for an adult audience. Devon shares his efforts to pitch the idea to studios like Paramount and Netflix, detailing the hurdles faced, including network acquisitions and shifting priorities.

Devon:

“I’ve been trying to convince the network why it’s a good idea.”
(15:13)

Despite the passion behind the proposal, Devon recounts how studio changes derailed the reboot plans. He discusses leveraging platforms like TikTok to gauge interest but ultimately accepts the reality that reviving the show remains uncertain.

Devon:

“If it happens, it fucking happens. But I’m not actively trying to make it happen anymore.”
(16:16)

The conversation highlights the complexities of reviving beloved shows in the modern entertainment landscape, where audience nostalgia must align with contemporary sensibilities.

---

4. Transitioning from Child Actors to Adulthood (27:15 - 42:27)

A heartfelt segment where Devon, Pat, and Mike discuss maintaining friendships formed during their childhood acting careers. Devon shares his journey of reconnecting with former castmates and the therapeutic role the podcast plays in rekindling those relationships.

Devon:

“It was really healing to, like, come back together and, like, be working together and be friends again.”
(26:03)

They reflect on the personal growth experienced since their time on set, acknowledging both the joys and the strains that come with adulthood. The hosts commend Devon for his resilience and positive outlook despite the challenges faced post-show.

Mike:

“You guys, like, God damn, we could have had something.”
(19:10)

The discussion underscores the enduring bonds formed through shared experiences and the importance of support systems in navigating life beyond the spotlight.

---

5. Relationship Advice Segment: Situationship Survival Tips (42:27 - 48:37)

Shifting gears, the podcast transitions into a relationship advice segment where Pat, Mike, and Devon offer survival tips for modern-day dating challenges. They tackle topics such as first date red flags, ghosting, and splitting expenses.

Devin:

“First date red flags… if there's a dead spot on the first day, it's over.”
(35:20)

Mike:

“So if there's a dead spot on the first day, it's over.”
(36:17)

They emphasize the importance of mutual interest and communication from the outset, advising listeners to watch for signs of disinterest or poor conversational flow as indicators to reconsider dating prospects.

Devin:

“If you can't talk, if you can't have a back and forth on either side, then, like, probably call it.”
(36:15)

The trio also discusses the nuances of financial arrangements in relationships, advocating for proportional contributions based on income rather than a strict 50/50 split to foster fairness and reduce strain.

Devin:

“You're in a partnership. You guys should be splitting some degree of those expenses.”
(46:48)

---

6. Comedic Listener Interactions and Skits (48:37 - 72:26)

The latter half of the episode is filled with humorous interactions, listener calls, and improvised skits. Guests and hosts engage in playful banter, sharing amusing anecdotes and light-hearted conversations that maintain the podcast's entertaining flair.

Lindsay:

“She's a crazy name, and Cookie's a nerd.”
(27:28)

Mike:

“They always accuse me of having a fake beard.”
(69:14)

These segments showcase the chemistry between the hosts and their ability to blend comedy with genuine discussions, keeping the audience engaged through relatable humor and spontaneous exchanges.

---

7. Guest Promotions & Future Projects (72:26 - End)

As the episode concludes, Devon promotes his upcoming projects and the Crash Dummies Podcast hints at future live shows and collaborations. The hosts encourage listeners to support their ventures, fostering a sense of community and ongoing engagement.

Devon:

“Check out Nezdi classified pod where every Wednesday, just talking kind of similar to you guys.”
(85:29)

Pat:

“We're going to be there in like, May 28th.”
(85:43)

The hosts express excitement about expanding their podcasting endeavors, promising more interactive and live content for their audience.

---

Notable Quotes

• Devon on Acceptance:

  “I honestly have grown to accept… that’s kinda just part of the game.”
  (12:20)

• Mike on First Dates:

  “So if there's a dead spot on the first day, it's over.”
  (36:17)

• Devon on Rebooting the Show:

  “If it happens, it fucking happens. But I’m not actively trying to make it happen anymore.”
  (16:16)

• Pat on Friendships:

  “You know what? I probably. So I can guess what was probably the dopest thing between y' all three, the dynamic.”
  (26:17)

---

Conclusion

Episode 205 of the Crash Dummies Podcast offers a blend of insightful discussions on Devon Werkheiser's experiences and the complexities of reviving a beloved show, alongside practical relationship advice and entertaining listener interactions. Pat and Mike, alongside their guest Devon, create a dynamic and engaging narrative that resonates with both longtime fans and new listeners alike. The episode underscores themes of personal growth, the challenges of the entertainment industry, and the enduring value of genuine connections.

Transcript

[Pat]

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[Mike]

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[Pat]

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[Mike]

Yeah, we don't know. We don't know what episode it is. Just leave us be.

[Devin]

Yeah, I was gonna ask.

[Pat]

Yeah, we don't know what episode we.

[Mike]

We actually don't know what episode this is gonna be.

[Devin]

Two something.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Do something.

[Pat]

It's too something.

[Mike]

I like that.

[Pat]

Yeah, two something.

[Mike]

That's why when people ask me how much I weigh, that's what I say.

[Pat]

Seven here with us.

[Devin]

Yeah. What's up, guys?

[Pat]

You know the theme when you. You know, I saw your name when you were exchanging tech. I was like, yeah, Devin. Is it Devon or Devin? And I want to know how many times you get it.

[Mike]

I corrected him before, like, did you.

[Devin]

Tell him it's Devon?

[Pat]

No. No way. It's Devon. It'd be a great story if it was Devon.

[Devin]

My parents would be really cool if it was Devon.

[Mike]

His ear's not pierced. He's not Devon. He don't got two stud earrings. Yeah.

[Devin]

Nah, it's Devin. But I like, I don't mind when people are like, like, sure.

[Mike]

Sick.

[Devin]

Sick. I sound way cooler, dude.

[Mike]

No, it is. You like that close? Maybe I should change it.

[Devin]

Yeah. I never correct people when they say Devon.

[Pat]

I guess now, because obviously you're on Ned to classify. How many times you get called Ned?

[Devin]

Oh, my. My whole life, man. My whole life. It. I. I can't fight it. It's going to be Ned.

[Pat]

Yeah, Ned. It's a short name, so it's not that. It's not that bad of a name.

[Devin]

Yeah.

[Pat]

I don't know too many actual Neds, though.

[Mike]

It's very. It's very tough for me not to call you Ned. I haven't even said Devin yet because I'm like. I'm afraid to call you Ned. I know it's gonna happen. Yeah. I literally grew up off that show.

[Devin]

Heck yeah. I was wondering.

[Pat]

I was wondering definitely.

[Devin]

I saw you grew up in Nigeria, but.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Devin]

Did you get where Neds come in? Were we playing in Nigeria?

[Pat]

I was born in Nigeria. The joke is that they think I mentioned being Nigerian all the time on the show.

[Mike]

And he did it again.

[Pat]

And I did it. He did it.

[Devin]

I brought it up for him. All right.

[Mike]

Devon did not.

[Pat]

Well, but, yeah, I moved to Chicago when I was about, like, five, and then I went to Nigeria for high school.

[Devin]

Okay, okay. So you caught. You caught the middle school.

[Pat]

I caught the whole middle school.

[Mike]

One of our listeners just blew their brains out because they had to listen to 15 times. One of our dedicated listeners. The 15 time they heard that. And they just put the gun.

[Devin]

Well, I needed to know.

[Mike]

All right. Yeah.

[Devin]

I was wondering where Neds came in. I was like, I don't think we were in Nigeria, but maybe.

[Pat]

I don't know. I definitely think it was out there, too. They probably got the. The. The dubbed the dub. The dub version.

[Mike]

The weird thing, though, like, as an autistic child myself, you. You guys didn't have this. No. That's how I knew I was autistic, from this reason right here. When you guys gave out the number to the tip.

[Devin]

Yeah.

[Mike]

You couldn't get all the tips. Like, the numbers were everywhere. How the. Is this 187? And I remember, like, going back through the episodes and then just like, oh, this is 187. This is 390. I'm like, wait, what the.

[Devin]

It was just a test for autistic kids.

[Pat]

No.

[Devin]

And. And you passed.

[Mike]

I check right over.

[Devin]

Excuse me. That's out of order.

[Mike]

Why isn't your homework done? Why aren't they going in? There's a classic.

[Devin]

Yeah. No. You know, for the writers, like, they were just, like. They just throw up any number, you know, it wasn't chronological. They just had fun being like, tip 397, tip 8034. Meanwhile, you're at home thinking, it's a conspiracy.

[Mike]

No, I needed that.

[Pat]

How long did the show run for? Like, 2000.

[Devin]

It ran for three years. We filmed it from when I was, like, 12 to 15. 15. And so we filmed it for three years, and there were three seasons, but it ran for, like, 10 years, you know?

[Pat]

Yeah. Okay.

[Devin]

Ran it for 10 years.

[Pat]

Reruns. That's the thing when you're younger, too. It's. It was more fun to watch reruns as we were younger.

[Devin]

Definitely.

[Mike]

I.

[Devin]

Definitely.

[Mike]

Your. Your show was, like, the first show that I watched that involved, like, relationship movement. Like, in the past. It was just like, these two people are together if it's a show, and that was it.

[Devin]

Sure.

[Mike]

Then, like, your show was the first one to introduce, like, oh, there's breakups. And then you might date someone who you didn't expect to date.

[Devin]

For sure.

[Mike]

Oh, shit. Like, oh, that girl I hate. Yeah, she might be, actually. Yeah.

[Devin]

Yeah. I think Cookie and I both, like. Both our characters dated. Dated girls we thought, like, hated us or we had beef with.

[Mike]

Yeah. That was the thing.

[Devin]

It happens in real life, you know, and that's.

[Mike]

That's how you knew. That's how you knew someone liked you back in middle school.

[Devin]

It's true.

[Mike]

Yes.

[Devin]

Yeah. If they gave you.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Were you actually in school when that show was going on? So we were homeschooled.

[Devin]

Homeschooled. We. I mean, I did both, and so did Daniel. I would film a season and then go back to Georgia, where I'm from, and be in, like, real middle school for the first two seasons.

[Mike]

I gotta.

[Devin]

What?

[Mike]

Were your grace. Good?

[Devin]

They were.

[Mike]

They were good.

[Devin]

Yeah.

[Mike]

No way you were on us like that.

[Devin]

Yeah.

[Mike]

No way. You were pretending.

[Devin]

I was. I was pretending I was a bad student. No, I was a straight A student.

[Mike]

No.

[Devin]

Yeah.

[Pat]

My mom.

[Devin]

I felt.

[Pat]

I felt connected when we were kids.

[Devin]

Like, sorry, man. No.

[Pat]

Bad. At school.

[Devin]

Just like, I pretended I was a C student. Yeah, you.

[Mike]

Young Jeezy's us. Like, Jeezy raps about, like, you gotta get bricks. I sold this. I sold that. And he raps about this, and his son is like, has, like, one of the highest GPAs. Wait a minute.

[Pat]

Wait a sec.

[Devin]

Yeah. No, I had good. My mom, like, made me have good grades. She's like, dude, you're living, like, A really good life. And I was smart. She's like, you don't have to like work that hard. Like, so do it like you must. You have to get straight A's.

[Mike]

I never asked it. What was the age difference of what you were portraying?

[Devin]

I was, I was one year older than Ned was. But basically, basically the same because sometimes.

[Mike]

In Hollywood, sometimes It's.

[Devin]

Sometimes you're 30.

[Mike]

Yeah. They're portraying like a 16 year old and it's like crazy to be lied to like that.

[Devin]

I mean, a fun part of Ned's is like a lot of our guest stars and art. Our extras, like our background are like 30 year old people because they can work longer. So like, so like they have these like 30 year olds. If you look behind us, children, there's grown adults in that middle school.

[Pat]

Peach fuz.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Devin]

Full on like five o' clock shadow in middle school. No, not, not us though. Yeah, we were real kids.

[Mike]

That's pretty cool to know. That's really cool to know.

[Devin]

Yeah. It was a blast, man. It was a blast.

[Pat]

That was like a good Easter egg.

[Devin]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look for how many 30 year olds are behind us.

[Mike]

That's. That's why. That's exactly what I'm gonna say.

[Devin]

Yeah. And then Lindsay, who played Mo, she was two years older than me and Daniel, Daniel and I are the same age. She's two years older. So she was like a little more mature and advanced. If you see in the first season, she's a foot taller than me, a full foot taller than me. And then I catch up.

[Pat]

So then if you're in school, how was it life in school then during those times?

[Devin]

It was cool, I guess. It's hard to remember, man, it's so far back. Middle school, I mean, we would do school on set. Like, that's a big thing when you're working as a kid actor is you have to do school. It's three hours of school a day and you have to get in 20 minute blocks. So while filming a TV show, especially me, like being in most of the scenes, it's like that is the game of the adults on set is like film and then go to school and like bank your hours because you have to. So like, there's like pretty strict labor laws around that. So I was always doing school or filming and then going back to school in Georgia. It was kind of good. Like after the initial. After the initial, like excitement of me being on TV like, wore off. Like that wears off in like two days. It's still, it's still Middle school. You know what I mean? Like, it's like, oh, my God, you're on tv, but then you're just there.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Devin]

And then you're just one of the kids and kind of no one gives a.

[Mike]

That's how China.

[Devin]

That was good for me.

[Mike]

That's how I try to explain to people about, like. People come up to me and just be like, man, it must be crazy to get recognized. It's just like. It lasts for like, 10 seconds.

[Devin]

Yeah.

[Mike]

It's like someone comes up to you like, hey, man, I recognize you from such and such. And then you awkwardly stare at him and just be like, yeah. Did you get the ice coffee, too? This is good. This is good, right?

[Devin]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Especially with Neds, it's such a childhood thing. So, like, you know, it's like nothing but, like, warmth from people because it, like, you literally watch people, like, revert back to your childhood, and then there's just that moment of, like, now we're both here.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Devin]

Cool, man. Well, see you.

[Pat]

Big goals, huh, with that, such, like, a big role. What was like, because did you always know you want to be, like, an actor or what? Some of the shows you kind of have, like, before. Ned.

[Devin]

Ned. I mean, Ned, was it.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Devin]

Here's. Here's the thing with my life, man, and it's a blessing and a curse, is like, I wanted to act since I was a kid. Like, since I was young. My parents didn't force me into it. They just saw like, oh, you like this. Like, and then organically, every position they put me in, like, led to a bigger thing.

[Mike]

How did you show them that, though?

[Devin]

Just watching movies like Ace Ventura and with Austin Powers, like, at like, 6 and just like, reciting the movies back and then being like, do you want to do theater? And I was like, yeah. And then theater went well. Theater was like, do you want to audition for shit? And I was like, yeah. That led to coming out to LA to audition, and then it. It led to Neds. Ned's, I thought would be Neds, I thought was the beginning of my career, not the end of it. I thought. Title character, my own show, when I get off this, like, the Oscars are, like, right around the corner, you know?

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Devin]

Hasn't fucking happened.

[Mike]

What?

[Pat]

So, like, why do you think that is, though? Like, is it like a type? We're. We're so not Hollywood, so it's like a type. A typecast type of thing.

[Devin]

I don't know, man. No matter what, when you're pursuing this industry, it doesn't owe you anything. Even when all the pieces are there for you to like get it and in your head, like from the outside, you're like, oh, Ned, everyone knows you. You should have like these other things. There's still a matter of like luck and timing and everything kind of falling into the right place. And I got close to a lot of the next big things that I thought for me and they just like didn't happen. Like I worked a lot after Neds but nothing as big. And I. I honestly have like grown to accept. Like that's kinda just like part of the game. Every actor knows, even like the biggest actors, like when you're off, when you're not working anymore. There's no guarantee.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Devin]

That it comes back around. And in some ways I'm glad. In some ways I'm super bitter. In some ways I'm glad because if I had kept on the train of success that I was on, I would know a lot less about life and I would probably be a shittier person. Just be a shittier, more confused person. Like I wouldn't understand life. Not having success when you want it is a really good character building.

[Pat]

Not for real because. Yeah, because even you mention it the way even being like. Because you're very humble about it. And I think most people would be like if they were known for that show and it would annoy them to be like. It was almost like today I don't call me Ned. I don't want to talk about nothing, Ned. Declassified and stuff.

[Mike]

Like some people are like definitely way better than me.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Nobody could call me Ned without an asshole. You better get a declassified asshole.

[Devin]

Say it again. Call me Ned again.

[Mike]

Tip 183. What we don't do. That's right. Yeah man.

[Devin]

I've like grown to. I can't fight it, man. I can't fight it. And it really like only leads to like cool shit. Like I was in New York last week and got invited just through someone running a social account for this crazy like Taurus thing. Edge nyc. It's like a big observation deck and then you climb the top of this building and lean off it. It was absolutely terrifying. But the person who ran the socials knew Neds and so invited like me and my girl out. And that was tight as hell. And like. And then the bartender knew me from Ned's so they like gave us champagne. Like if I fight it, I'm like literally like shutting down. Really cool blessings. And like would I like for people to know me as something other than my 13 year old role.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Devin]

But I'll get there, man. I'll get there.

[Mike]

So my opinion of the show, what always said, I think, obviously I think it was in the right time. That's why it was so popular.

[Devin]

Yeah.

[Mike]

But I think it would do 10 times better. Now, just the concept of it, you could be a little bit more edgier with the tips in today's world, but the concept of the show is fire. So you ever think about, like, some type of reboot? Like where?

[Devin]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Now, all right. When people call me Ned, I don't get mad. When people ask me, hey, Devin, have you thought of a reboot? That's when I get mad. I said, oh, what?

[Pat]

It's in your control.

[Devin]

Oh, yeah. I've never thought of this. Oh, yeah, what?

[Pat]

It's like the.

[Devin]

Oh, we should reboot it. That's crazy, huh? I've never thought of doing that for adults. I haven't been trying for the last six years to convince the network why it's a good idea.

[Pat]

It's like LeBron when he was talking to 2 Chainz about a deluxe album.

[Mike]

You know what? I think you should.

[Devin]

I have this idea. Yeah. No, I've been trying, honestly, for years, for like a minute in my late 20s, I was like, I was really trying to look past Neds and like, try and get to that next thing. And then I started to realize, like, you know what? Nah, it's still. It's still such a thing for people. It's still a thing for me. All this audience has grown up now. Let's make a show for adults.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Devin]

With Ned Mosen, Cookie. Like, all of us need it. No one told us, like, our 20s were going to be so fun, difficult. No one said, hey, by the way, it's really confusing and weird, like growing up. So I was like, oh, that show would be perfect. And I've literally spent six, seven years trying to convince the studio of that. And we got real close. We pitched. It didn't go through. I started, like growing the fan base on TikTok, thinking, All right, let's like, give them more ammunition to like, have them understand. I know this would work. Ned Mosen, Cookie. As adults, like in their mid-20s struggling through life, know that would work.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Devin]

I was like, all right, got the TikTok thing going. We got a little bit canceled. So that didn't go through. Yeah, there's some. There's some TikTok tea. Then. Then we got this opportunity to start the podcast. So I Was like, all right, let's start the podcast. Knowing in my head, if this works, it'll circle back around to the reboot. That was ultimately what I wanted. It did. We had Paramount call us. We were talking to them about developing it, and then they got sold, and everyone we were talking to got fired. And then it was back to just like, oh, well, I guess me and the fans are the only people that know like, this would make sense and would work. And now I'm kind of, like, resigned to it now. If it happens, it fucking happens. But I'm not actively trying to make it happen anymore. Like, we're running the pod now, and I'm kind of, like, looking at other things. I truly thought it was a good idea for years, and now I'm just like, so much has happened for it to not go through that. I'm just like, all right, yeah, it, man. Maybe not happens.

[Mike]

You know, that's crazy because you just blew somebody's mind. They're like, what? He just can't start it himself?

[Devin]

Yes, dude. And the amount of the camera, the amount of comments online of, like, just do it yourself. Do it on YouTube and, like.

[Pat]

You'Ll do it on YouTube for them to bash it.

[Devin]

Yeah, exactly. And, like, we don't own the. Right. It's a whole thing, man. And I want to do it for real. I don't want to do it for YouTube. Yeah, sorry. I love YouTube, but I want to actually make the TV the big red.

[Pat]

Cameras and the re cameras.

[Devin]

Yeah. And I want to get paid, not pay for it.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah, sorry. I don't even think people know how much a camera costs.

[Devin]

My God.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Devin]

They don't know how much it costs to run a podcast.

[Mike]

Go. Go on Tick Toc and look up cheapest camera for highest quality and watch how many comments are in there. It's like a $550 camera that does 1080p and people are like, that's too much.

[Devin]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Mike]

For a rude awakening.

[Pat]

I wonder if some of your tips would have worked. The. The tips would have worked in today's school environment.

[Devin]

Some would because we've been watching it back for the podcast. Some translate still because they're kind of like universal. And some no longer. We were pre. Like, we were just having cell phones on Ned's. Like, it was pre. Like, we were pre social media on nets.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Devin]

Which is also why some of the studio doesn't understand how big the fan base is. Like, yeah, we miss social media.

[Pat]

Like, missed it.

[Devin]

Just missed generation had it. Yeah. Twitter had just come out, I think, like, 2008, and that's when the show ended.

[Mike]

Imagine the show with, like, Facebook rumors or, like, Internet problems. Internet drama. That's a whole nother season. Two seasons of devastating.

[Pat]

Yeah. Damn.

[Mike]

You guys, like, God damn, we could have had something.

[Pat]

But y' all showing. I feel like y' all showed the hall monitors a little too much respect like that. That's not like, it doesn't fly these days.

[Mike]

That wouldn't work in an inner city school.

[Pat]

It definitely didn't fly in high school. Inner city school with hall monitors?

[Mike]

Yeah. In my high school, they were beating the shit out of the hall monitor. It feels like too much discipline going on. Like, okay, you can wave us to class, but all right, you don't fucking touch anybody. Just start the reboot.

[Devin]

Declassified inner city school survival. That's what I'm talking about.

[Pat]

Y' all can do it like, different schools and stuff like that, too.

[Mike]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Devin]

Did you guys go to school together? Have you guys been friends since you were kids?

[Mike]

No, we met in College.

[Pat]

Yeah. 10 years now.

[Devin]

Where at?

[Mike]

He was stripping at a place. We played football. Damn.

[Devin]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Trying to get you out of there. Yeah, you just, like, you know, you just had a strip club. Now for our mail feature, the. Is this. Come on, Mike, you ain't got to do this. I gotta pay for college.

[Devin]

One of those stories.

[Mike]

Come on, man.

[Pat]

Just work it. We played college football together.

[Devin]

Yeah, dope.

[Pat]

We played at a small school called Lakeland.

[Devin]

It was like a D3. D3?

[Mike]

D3. Yeah.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Devin]

Sweet.

[Pat]

So receiver, corner.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Devin]

Okay, so you guys battle a lot of matchup there.

[Mike]

That's how you know, like, who's got it?

[Pat]

Come on.

[Mike]

Come on, now. Me? A thousand percent.

[Pat]

Come on. What?

[Mike]

Me a th.

[Devin]

You're both so confident.

[Pat]

Look at the conviction. This is the thing, though. He was there a year before me, and when I came in, he was. He was giving me the business. I only needed a year to get used to playing that position, though. Okay, So I came in. That was my first time playing. And after that.

[Devin]

So you're saying the first year he beat you first year, and then the.

[Pat]

Next next two years? Two, two, three years.

[Devin]

How long were you there, bud?

[Mike]

Hell, no.

[Pat]

Two years.

[Mike]

I like. I honestly swear to God, I don't know what he's talking about. He never. Never, ever.

[Pat]

There was a time I stiff armed him and pinned him.

[Mike]

Yeah, you're talking about some stiff army. I thought you were talking about you dominated or something. No.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

No, you did not. It Was never right. Hand to God, you didn't.

[Pat]

I never dominated you.

[Mike]

No. Are you out of your mind?

[Pat]

Hell, no. Roll baller.

[Mike]

Lonzo.

[Devin]

Ball for buzzballs. Ready to go. Cocktails.

[Pat]

Take 12. Buzz balls just dropped their biggest blue balls. Script says Biggie's blue balls.

[Devin]

Lonzo. Take 13.

[Pat]

Blue balls just dropped their biggest buzz balls.

[Devin]

Let's try a vocal exercise.

[Pat]

Buzz balls. Biggies. Blue balls. Buzz balls.

[Mike]

Biggies.

[Pat]

Blue balls.

[Mike]

Big balls just dropped.

[Pat]

Get blue balls this season with buzz balls, please. You're responsible.

[Lindsay]

Bu available in spirit, wine and malt.

[Devin]

15% Alco, Bavo and Bus Balls LLC, Carrollton, Texas hey there, travelers. Kaley Cuoco here. Sorry to interrupt your music. Great artist, BT dubs, but wouldn't you rather be there to hear it live? With Priceline, you can get out of your dreams and into your dream concert. They've got millions of travel deals to get you to that festival gig, rave, sound bath, or sonic experience you've been dreaming of. Download the Priceline app today and you can save up to 60% off hotels and up to 50 off flights. So don't just dream about that trip. Book it with Priceline.

[Mike]

Go to your happy price price line.

[Pat]

All right. Come on, man.

[Devin]

Anywho, are you guys boxing now? Did I see.

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah. Okay, well, he boxed too, for I professionally box. Yeah.

[Mike]

I would never, like, let someone hit me for that much money. You gotta see, like, obviously it's like for the. For the love, but, like, sometimes it's just like, damn. Because boxing has a lot of money in it. Like, people don't know. Like, if you go play any lower level football, like, overseas, you're probably getting like a thousand dollars a month. Like, and they're paying for groceries and housing. Like boxing, you could be an amateur boxer. You could be 0 and 2. And you can run into a situation where someone's throwing you 10, $15,000 to fight a guy.

[Devin]

Okay, no way.

[Pat]

But that's coming all our brain damage.

[Mike]

Yeah, but that. But if they pay you 10, if you are like, oh, and to own three and they're paying you 10, 15,000, you best believe that guy's gonna beat the out of you. Yeah, yeah. They just need that guy. That's why, you know, a lot of these guys are meeting at like, like, this guy be 35, 0 and this guy be 35, 0. And then these guys have been the same weight as each other for the last three years because these guys are fighting guys like me in the lower grounds. Because there's some. A lot of people don't know. There's no, like, to be a NFL player. To get an NFL camp, you got to have some type of talent. Same thing with NBA. Everything in boxing, you can just turn pro.

[Pat]

Damn.

[Mike]

Yes.

[Pat]

The ceiling is way lower.

[Mike]

Way lower. So, I mean, you get a lot of people that are good that are turning pro, but you get a lot of people that are just like, oh, oh, my God.

[Devin]

Are you saying he's bad?

[Mike]

No, he actually. Actually one of the good ones, man. Honestly, if he was bad, I would never talk about it on the show. Yeah, I'll just, like, let him talk and just like, yeah, you box that one jab. Remember? You jazzed him. You got. I'm good with a lot of, like, the.

[Pat]

With the cast on, like, different TV shows. Sometimes as they get older, we start to realize that, oh, these people weren't really friends. And you do. And you do a podcast with. With them now. So have you guys stayed friends or in connection a little bit since then?

[Devin]

Yeah, we kind of had a cool journey that worked for the podcast, which was like. I mean, Daniel and I stayed friends, but, like, in and out of each other's lives just because, like, he lived in Long beach, just, like, a little bit further out of la. So just, like, we'd have these kind of couple years where we'd be friends and then just kind of be distant, but, like, not. No beef.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Devin]

Yeah. And then Lindsay was on drugs for, like, 10, 12 years, so we were in touch, but she was living kind of like a gnarly. Her own.

[Pat]

Her own she talks about in the past.

[Jessica]

Yeah.

[Devin]

Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. There's something she's. She's open about, and her and I were in touch during that time, but it wasn't. She wasn't someone I could be friends with.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Devin]

And it was really interesting coming back together for the podcast because we all still had so much love for each other, and our experience on Ned's was really good. Like, really good. Such good years, such good memories. Like, it was really a positive experience. So we had that connection together, had kind of known each other as adults, but we had all gone on these, like, different journeys to get to our 30s. So when we got on the podcast, we had so much to talk about and catch up on of, like, how did we end up here? Yeah, it's not where any of us thought we would be is, like, starting a podcast for our show from the early 2000s, but we all kind of were in a place where it made sense to do it, and it was like, really healing to, like, come back together and, like, be working together and be friends again.

[Mike]

You know what? I probably. So I can guess what was probably the dopest thing between y' all three, the dynamic. Because I just recently got in touch with someone that, like, my parent dated their parent for a while.

[Devin]

Okay.

[Mike]

And we were, like, step siblings for a little bit. Yep. And there's some things that we experienced together, but it was, like, from different point of views, and then you get together and then you tell a story, and then someone drops in, like, a little piece of knowledge, and you're like, oh, shit.

[Pat]

No wonder.

[Mike]

I. I didn't even know that that happened. Just like, oh, yeah. I thought y' all knew. And it was, like, definitely that happened.

[Devin]

Yeah. We each hold different pieces of that time, and certain things they remember that I didn't remember. And it, like. Yeah, it's been a really fun thing getting to kind of, like, relive all that and talk about that. And, like, they're the only ones who understand really, like, what it was to be on Ned's. And so us not being in touch for a time in our adulthood, like, it felt good to be like, yeah, guys, hi. We did that. And it was meaningful and, like, fun and, like, fucking great to see you. And, like, great to talk about this. Like. Yeah, it's been. It's been really kind of like, healing us being friends again.

[Mike]

That's dope, man. Y' all set a lot of precedent. Shout out to Cookie being a really good black male role model, because there's a lot of. There's a lot of black nerds wearing glasses and stuff like that. They didn't have. Look through, you know, TV show history.

[Devin]

And they didn't have.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dribble and rap like Orlando Brown. I know. Cookie's like, who you want to be now. Yeah. Who turned out better?

[Devin]

Yeah, he gets a lot of love from. From the black nerd community.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Devin]

Because he was representing.

[Mike]

He.

[Devin]

He had to go. He had to go through. He talks about it. He had to go through his own, like, identity thing. After playing a nerd, then dropping into high school of what you said, like, if someone's calling me Ned, I'm stomping him out. He had a little of that in high school. He was just talking to me about it. I'm like, someone calls him Cookie. He's ready to fight. Not now.

[Pat]

Because Cookie's the nickname. Yeah.

[Devin]

Cookie's a crazy name, and Cookie's a nerd. And Daniel's like, I'm not A nerd. Like, now he's. Now he's cool with it, but, like, high school, you know, identity, wanting to be cool.

[Mike]

Yeah, that'd be tough. Like, I don't know.

[Pat]

Especially in high school.

[Mike]

Yeah. I don't know if women take me that serious. Like, yeah, you're just cookie. It's like, no, baby.

[Pat]

Hey, baby.

[Devin]

Yeah. Yeah, he went. He went through some of that. I mean, we all went through our little identity things. It's weird being a. It's weird having a role that everyone knows you as.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Yes.

[Devin]

And then you need to, like, you know, go through the weird parts of forming your identity as a teenager.

[Pat]

That's good, though. I think, to me, it's better to be known for that one really great thing than to be known as I. That. That face in every other movie.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Because I was like you. I've seen your face in this movie before. I just don't know who you are.

[Mike]

Like that one guy that always plays Hector.

[Devin]

His name's Hector.

[Mike]

He plays Hector in a lot of movies. They know him talking about. We'll have him in the comments.

[Devin]

Yeah, no, it's kind of true. Like, if I had to choose, like, yeah, I'm glad I. I reached the peak at least once.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Devin]

But it's weird when you're in your 30s and that peak is the further.

[Pat]

Further, further back shows the impact to you made on a lot of people. Especially with Internet.

[Devin]

Yeah. Yeah. I can't hate.

[Mike]

Ah, man, we gotta. We gotta get somebody about this reboot.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Devin]

If you got any friends at Paramount.

[Mike]

Mtv, I'm gonna call my guy at Netflix.

[Pat]

You know, actually, I'm gonna go call Neff.

[Mike]

That's what's so weird about networking, because you could talk to, like, you can express yourself and tell someone what you do in full and then find. And then, like, the guy exchanges Instagrams with you, and he has 1200 followers, and you're like, damn, I just told this guy my life story, what I need, and this guy has no connections. And then he hits you up the next day like, yeah, my guy Netflix said, call him. And you're just like, wait, what the. Like, now, like, moving through this industry, most of the point people that we have will, like, they'll follow us and then we'll look up. They're like the CEO of, like, this major seltzer company. And, like, they're the next guy down, and they're just the connect guy. And it's like, yeah, guy. He got a picture of his sons and they're Just like on the beach and it's like, oh, that's a regular ass dude. Like you never know who you're talking to.

[Pat]

I. One thing we start to realize too about LA is like, we've been honestly blessed to have like met a lot of really good people. We haven't had that many like bad experiences, but a lot of things out here feel really transactional. Like even just like meeting up and stuff like that. And it's just like, is there. How was that navigated even in like, I guess your adult life?

[Devin]

Yeah, I mean, I've been here so long, so like there's a lot of talk about LA and like. Yeah, cool. I guess, like, like you're probably kind of shitty. Yeah. Because like I find like as long as you have a good community of people, like people that you fuck with.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Devin]

Non transactionally.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Devin]

You'll be all right. In la. There's so much to do. It's so beautiful. Everyone's hustling like everyone has a dream, everyone's trying to do things, everyone's trying to create like that, that part of it I like. But there is, there is that transactional nature that even I'm guilty of at times where like we are all trying to get somewhere, we're all trying to get to some vision of our life. And if you're feeling kind of stressed about it or a little controlling about it or in your survival mode, which a lot of people are, it's like, I don't have time to talk to the, to the person who doesn't have connections. I'm trying to.

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah.

[Devin]

Like the stereotype is real in that regard of sometimes you're at an event and it's literally like, who do I got to talk to? That like moves the needle because otherwise I don't even want to be here. But that's like those scenes, that's those events. Then at the same time you just gotta have like real life here too. Like so I have, I have kind of both and, and navigating it is fine because I've been here so long. But if you're just coming out here to like climb the, the ladder, it's gonna suck.

[Pat]

Yeah, it's gonna suck. So what's some other things you then do outside the podcast? Like just things you do in my life. Yeah, just in general, just you do for fun.

[Devin]

What do I do? I don't know, man. Life's a blur since COVID Like, did five years really just happen?

[Pat]

It feels so crazy.

[Mike]

No. Cold. Yeah. Where were you?

[Devin]

I Was here. Yeah, here's in la.

[Mike]

Was la. Was LA really strict?

[Pat]

No, strict.

[Devin]

La. LA was strict, but also like you could drive around the city anywhere in like 20 minutes. It was kind of.

[Pat]

Oh, that was. Oh, yeah, that was the good part.

[Devin]

That was, that was the good part. It was weird because it was like post apocalyptic. Like no one was out, but you could drive anywhere, which was kind of nice. But it was, it was strict.

[Mike]

Milwaukee was shut down. It was so nice.

[Pat]

Yeah, but it was kind of open too. Just because, like, Wisconsin is very broad in, like different viewpoints. It's very split down the middle, I would say.

[Devin]

Sure.

[Pat]

So it was a lot of places out in the outskirts of like the city, they were wide open. It's like you come on right in.

[Devin]

My friends in Florida, yeah, they didn't even have Covid. You know, they never did it.

[Pat]

They actually, they want you coughing in the restaurants.

[Devin]

That. That shit was so crazy. We all went through this like, like world changing, confusing, bizarre event. The lockdowns, life changing. And then I talked to my friends in Florida. Nothing, nothing, Nothing changed. No trauma, no confusion.

[Mike]

Really.

[Pat]

No.

[Mike]

Like, I feel like, I mean, you got a couple people still wearing masks and stuff like that, but.

[Devin]

Yeah, still now.

[Mike]

Yeah, but nothing really changed. Like, people still aren't washing their hands. Like you would think. Like, damn, we could at least get back to washing hands.

[Devin]

Nah.

[Mike]

I was at the airport the other day and. And not a flicker of water was turned on. Just me. I had a. Dude. It was so funny. I didn't even tell you this. I was at the airport and I was halfway out the. The bathroom and this guy, I saw him pee and he was like fixing himself up at the mirror, but he was at the part of the mirror where there's no sink in front of him. I noticed him because, like, you just. He was. He stood right by me. So I left and the guy was like, yo, yo, yo. And I turned around, he's like, your phone. And then he wanted to pick up my phone, but he didn't wash his hands yet. So he pointed at my phone and I realized why he didn't do it. And then he followed me out. I was like, bro, you couldn't even touch my phone because you didn't wash your hands. Just watch.

[Devin]

Go wash it.

[Mike]

Like, what the. You gotta fly now. He's about to fly to la. Yeah. About to take this pink eye on the road. Okay, so this is the game I want to play.

[Devin]

So what you got?

[Mike]

We're gonna do survival tips.

[Devin]

Okay.

[Mike]

With Modern Day struggles and situationships. So it's gonna be situationship survival.

[Devin]

Okay, sick. I did a lot of those.

[Mike]

Okay. Okay, so let's do a survival tip on first date red flags.

[Devin]

Oh, first date red flags. I mean, is this for the guys or the girls?

[Mike]

You know, anyone? Yeah, you can give women advice. We got a lot of women listeners, and they're very feisty, too. Yeah, all of our women listeners, they just. They all talk and they're very, very feisty. You gotta watch them.

[Devin]

First date red flag survival tips. Oh, man. I mean, first dates, to me are easy. They should be. And if they're not, it's. It's a red flag. Like, you have an infinite amount of things to talk about on a first date. All you got to do is be curious about the. Ask anything. You don't know anything about that.

[Mike]

Like, people. I don't.

[Devin]

I don't know what to talk about. You can ask them anything. It doesn't. You don't know anything. It's easy. The conversation has, like, everywhere to go. Yeah, no, that's.

[Mike]

So if there's a dead spot on the first day, it's over.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Devin]

Then, you know, like, all right. Because. Yeah, first dates for me is just like, can we vibe? That's it.

[Mike]

Just do.

[Devin]

Can we send the ball back and forth? Like, can we play a little tennis? Have a little banter? Is there a little humor overlap? Cool. Yeah. So if there's, like, a lot of dead spots in conversation. I've actually heard multiple women tell me recently, like, what do I have to do to get a guy to ask something about me? They've gone on dates where the guy only talks about himself.

[Mike]

I see people do that all the time.

[Devin]

That's insane. That's. Why do you even want to. I don't even want to talk that much on a first date.

[Mike]

Sometimes the dude, like, I be listening to some of these dudes. Some of their questions is like, okay, so you told me your favorite color. If you couldn't have that favorite color.

[Pat]

Not the wall up to the.

[Mike]

What would your favorite color be? Oh, man.

[Devin]

No, no. Okay, I.

[Mike]

Back. But if it was purple, would you still. What about indigo?

[Devin]

Okay, I. I take it back. I take it back. There's anything to talk about. But not that. Not colors, but. Yeah, so that's red flags. If you can't. If you can't talk, if you can't. Like, if there's not a back and forth on either side, then, like, probably call it. Because, like, the main thing you're going to do when dating anybody is talking like giggle.

[Pat]

I've never really heard too many stories about like my friends be like, yeah, the first date. Like first time meeting is trash. But. And they gave it another chance and it still works like it usually if that's what they feel in the first day. That's usually it.

[Devin]

Yeah. First step. Can we talk like baseline foundation.

[Mike]

That's what I tell people about sex too. They'd be like, oh, first time it was bad. Okay, second time it's gonna be bad. You're telling me he got whiskey dick on the first try. Well, something's wrong.

[Devin]

It's kind of true. Sex can get big better like over time as you know someone. But if it's just straight bad out.

[Mike]

The gate on the first one.

[Pat]

It depends the situation too. You meet that person in though because you mentioned whiskey. So it could be like, yeah, if they met him.

[Devin]

That's a little specific.

[Mike]

That's true too. Yeah, that's true too. Yeah.

[Pat]

Catch you off guard when. When you weren't really expected to do anything. It's just like, then I gotta follow through.

[Mike]

But you know what's crazy? Like as I get older, the less likely I am to have sex when I'm drunk.

[Devin]

Drunk?

[Mike]

Yeah, like when I'm drunk now I just like get the away.

[Devin]

I'll see you in the morning.

[Mike]

What the.

[Pat]

You got responsibilities. And you actually think about the stuff you got going on tomorrow, it's like.

[Mike]

Nah, there's no more of a chemistry splitter between me and a girl. If she likes drunk sex. You smell like Miller light. Maybe you burp and it goes down a little bit.

[Devin]

That's Milwaukee, huh?

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Now that's a dive bar for you. That hot girl's over there. She's six packs in some bush light. Why you drink that? It's my dad's favorite. It doesn't have to be your favorite.

[Devin]

That's another red flag for first dates. If, I mean if you're go. If you're both on the same page about like getting a little buzz on, great. But like getting wasted on the first date.

[Pat]

I read you a nervous.

[Devin]

It means you're too nervous and you can't handle it. No need to be wasted on the first day.

[Pat]

I can't be to anything on the first day.

[Devin]

Agreed.

[Pat]

Like I try to go into it as like, like straight minded as possible. Because if I go into even like just say I'm going to a high. It's like I'm literally just like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Devin]

You're the guy asking no questions. Because you're high.

[Mike]

Let me.

[Pat]

What's your second favorite color?

[Devin]

It's Micah.

[Mike]

So when you say sky blue, is.

[Pat]

It like night sky?

[Mike]

No, don't do I. I actually took an edible before a date before. And yeah, at some point, I think I was freestyling. Yeah, yeah, she was with it. But, you know, the toxic part about me is like, I'll do some wild. And if like the girl I'm talking to follows along, it gives me the ick. It's like.

[Pat]

No, she actually. This lie actually. God, turns her on.

[Devin]

Wow. You're supporting my whack ass vibes.

[Mike]

I know I'm whack right now. You with this now.

[Pat]

I can't trust you.

[Mike]

Yeah, I can't trust you. Yeah, trust you. Plus those are M M's lyrics, by the way. Sad. You don't know that.

[Devin]

I was testing you. That was not a freestyle.

[Mike]

Never seen 8 mile before. Get the out.

[Pat]

Oh, man.

[Devin]

Yeah. Honestly, ladies, if he freestyles on the first date to cut it off.

[Mike]

Even if you're a rapper, like, even.

[Devin]

If it's good, if he's.

[Pat]

Don't play your girl there. Don't play her music. Don't play though.

[Devin]

You're not the first date.

[Pat]

And it's because you know you're gonna have to do this. You have to put it right to ear. Like, list this, my new mixtape. And you put it on her ear like this. Like, if she has to listen to your music like this, bro.

[Mike]

Drake talks about. Drake has a lyric about that. About, like, how one time he was playing his music for a girl and like, they got two songs through and then she was like, like, can we just play some Trey songs?

[Devin]

Incredible, incredible, incredible, incredible hurt. He should have married her.

[Mike]

Yeah, okay.

[Devin]

That's a good woman. She's like, turn this off.

[Mike]

Next one. Survival tip.

[Devin]

Yeah, what you got?

[Mike]

They still follow their ex on social media.

[Devin]

Oh, man. That's not a one size fits all guys. It's just not. It's just not. Mo's, Lindsay. Lindsay's technically an ex of mine. It's been many, many, many, many years, but, like, you know what I mean? And we're still like homies.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Devin]

Tricky. I mean, that's a different one because we were. We dated when we were like, in our teenage years, so that's probably fine. But. Yeah, it's just not one size fits all cast members. Yeah, but. But it is something. It is something to. It is something to pay attention to.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Devin]

I think all of early dating, we all need to Pay more attention.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Devin]

In early dating, rather than making everything fine. No, no. Early dating is when you just like pay attention. Pay attention to all of it.

[Mike]

I would like this. This what? Tell everybody about relationships. There hasn't been one relationship situationship, whatever is going on between me and the woman. There hasn't been one time where the thing that we stopped talking about wasn't present during the first couple weeks that we talked about. Talked like it was always there, but it was something that that person had that like, overshadowed that. And sometimes like with women and like, I'm guessing, like myself as a man, sometimes, like I'll say what my toxic trait is at the beginning. Yeah, like, yeah, sometimes like I'll try to get it out there. Be like, yeah, sometimes like I can't do. I can't multitask. Like if I'm looking at a tweet and you're talking and I didn't catch the beginning of the sentence, I'm not gonna pay attention to it. Oh, that's fine. Then two years down the road you never listen to me. I told you I'm autistic and you used it against me.

[Pat]

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[Mike]

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[Devin]

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[Mike]

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[Pat]

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[Mike]

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[Devin]

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[Pat]

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[Mike]

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[Devin]

Get started risk [e-mail] Spotify Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile. I don't know if you knew this.

[Mike]

But anyone can get the same Premium.

[Devin]

Wireless for $15 a month plan that I've been enjoying. It's not just for celebrities.

[Mike]

So do like I did and have one of your assistant's assistants switch you to Mint Mobile today.

[Devin]

I'm told it's super easy to [e-mail].

[Jessica]

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[Devin]

Required intro rate first 3 months only.

[Jessica]

Then full price plan options available, taxes and fees, extra Fee, full [e-mail].

[Devin]

Yeah, yeah, it's true. That's what I mean. You got to pay attention early on. It's all there. It's all fucking there. And was an extra survival tip. People don't change, man. I mean, they do in their own time with, like, love, space, and support, but they're not going to change to how you want them to change. And if, like, you're starting a relationship needing that person to be different than they are, it's like a losing game right out. Out the gate. Like, people don't change like that. So pay attention early on and make sure you're like, cool. I like I. With this person.

[Pat]

Fire.

[Devin]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Okay, last one, last one, last one. What's your tip on the 5050 rent debate? Have you heard about this debate before?

[Devin]

No. Go on.

[Mike]

So there's. Can you explain it?

[Pat]

It was just like, it was. I would say it's a Twitter debate.

[Mike]

Yes, more of a Twitter debate.

[Devin]

Okay.

[Pat]

About if you're in a relationship, if you should split the rent down the middle or spit expenses down the middle.

[Devin]

If you're living together.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Devin]

Also not a one size fits all, but I kind of feel like, yeah, yeah, if you're living together. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, like, I don't know, like, if I was living with my. My girl, which I like. I. I also don't want to. I've done that once.

[Pat]

So you told her you don't want to live with her?

[Devin]

I mean, right now we have our own spot, so it's cool.

[Pat]

We're not.

[Devin]

We're not even trying.

[Mike]

She knows now.

[Devin]

She knows.

[Mike]

Breaking news.

[Devin]

We'll see where we get. She's in the kitchen. Like, what? No, we'll see where we get. But I don't know. It also depends. Like, that's why it's one size. It's not one size. Fit fits all. Like, I don't know if the dude's ballin' like, yeah. If he's ballin and just has a sick spot and you invite your girl to move in, I mean, that's on you, man.

[Pat]

Is like like $20,000 a month or something.

[Devin]

I've heard the proportional, like, not 50, 50, but like the proportional debate of, like, depending on what your income is, contribute a percentage to the rent. I think. I think in terms of, like, your rent and you're living together.

[Mike]

Absolutely.

[Devin]

You're in a partnership. You guys should be splitting some degree of those expenses. And then, like, as a dude, it's like, I'm gonna want to take us on trips. I'm gonna want to take us on dates that I'm paying for. Like, that's gonna happen. But, like, our foundation should be. We're in a partnership. Like, we got to be contributing something, because otherwise, people get expectations and start taking advantage.

[Pat]

That's why you should do the adult reboot.

[Mike]

Yeah. See, my. My thing has always been it's not about, like, the actual money, because I'm like, yep. Am. I don't know. I don't remember the last date I went on. And, like, she paid for the date, you know? So it's just like, would you let me pay for seven dates in a row without some type of petition? Like, don't do this. I'm pulling my card out and argue with me a little bit. Like, make. Make it real.

[Devin]

I agree.

[Mike]

Don't just go. Just don't turn your head. Every single time. I'm gonna get more and more bitter. Like, there's no way she's using the fucking bathroom before the bill come out. She used. Now, like, okay, make sure you tip.

[Pat]

Like, what the.

[Devin]

Give me a little of the. At least pretend. Give me a little. I. I can. No, no, no.

[Mike]

Put that little measly ass $40 back.

[Devin]

Have you guys seen the movie Triangle of Sadness?

[Mike]

Triangle of Sadness.

[Devin]

Triangle of Sadness. Yeah. It's really funny film, but, like, the beginning of it is. Is this scene. Basically, it's like. It's like. Like, the guy watching his girlfriend when the bill comes, and she said she was gonna pick up this fancy dinner, and then she's, like, looking away when the bill comes. And so he goes to get in, they get in this huge argument, and he's like, just at least, like, pretend for me. Like, at least try.

[Mike]

Now you. You gotta pretend, ladies.

[Devin]

Yeah.

[Mike]

That's my advice to y' all. Yeah.

[Devin]

I've seen online there's a lot of ladies out there that just want to be, like, full send taken care of. And, I mean, they'll probably find a dude who's down for that. But then it comes with other weird in the relationship when you're, like, expecting your whole life to be taken care of, and the man's gonna expect certain things, and I feel like it's already dysfunctional.

[Mike]

Yeah. The only thing is weird because I've never thought about, like, not dating someone because of, like, who a family member is, but I would never date a girl with a rich dad. I am good.

[Pat]

Why?

[Mike]

Huh?

[Pat]

Why?

[Mike]

You're competing for the rest of your life as soon as you stutter. Stutter just a little bit, babe. I'm on the side of the road. My tire popped. I don't know what to do. Hold on, let me call my guy. I'll call you right back. You call her back. My dad came and he solved it. He sent this guy. I got a brand new car, by the way. It's a bins. I'll see you at 6 for dinner. Motherfucker. Again?

[Pat]

You got a ski mask up on the.

[Mike]

Dad can't wait till we get his money, man.

[Devin]

That's what I'm saying. I'd love a girl with a rich dad.

[Pat]

Oh, man, he.

[Devin]

What? No, no.

[Mike]

As his only.

[Pat]

Nah. Getting on your knees like.

[Mike]

Babe, no, you're. And you're his only kid, right?

[Devin]

No, no, no.

[Mike]

Your mom doesn't want the house.

[Pat]

What?

[Mike]

Let me.

[Pat]

Let me. Let me ease the pain by marrying you right now.

[Devin]

I was going to say. You're already on your knees. Time to propose.

[Pat]

Oh, man.

[Devin]

We're gonna get through this tough time.

[Mike]

He would have wanted this.

[Pat]

All right, we're gonna get to some listener calls.

[Devin]

Oh, my favorite part of your guys pod.

[Mike]

Let's go.

[Devin]

These people.

[Pat]

This episode is presented to you by Underdog. Turn your takes into cash with Underdog by picking higher or lower on your favorite player stats. Make sure to support this show by hitting the link in the description and downloading Underdog. Sign up and deposit now using the promo code Dummies to get up to a thousand dollars of bonus cash and a free pick.

[Lindsay]

Wait, hold on. Hello.

[Pat]

Hello.

[Mike]

Hi.

[Pat]

Welcome to Crashing his podcast.

[Lindsay]

Thank you. Am I answering the question?

[Mike]

No, no, no. You're singing for us.

[Pat]

I got a question for you. What's a red flag? You hear people mention that you don't think is.

[Lindsay]

Okay, I want to preface this first. I want to say that when I answer this like, I don't do anal with everyone, but I think the red flag is like guys that overly ask for anal or like want to do anal with girls.

[Mike]

What do you think the red flag is? Like explaining what you think that might lead to or that might be.

[Pat]

Or what do you think is a red flag? Because that was a question. So you don't think.

[Lindsay]

Yes, yes, this is a red flag.

[Devin]

But you don't think it is one?

[Lindsay]

No, it is.

[Devin]

Question.

[Mike]

But you do anal.

[Lindsay]

Yeah.

[Mike]

So how I do. So are you saying if they ask for it, it does. Just doesn't naturally happen?

[Lindsay]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Mike]

So what do you think about guys that ask for analysis? So what's your. What do you think about that?

[Pat]

Like.

[Lindsay]

Okay. I. I just have to tell my story, so.

[Pat]

Okay, go ahead. Yeah, let's. Let's do it.

[Mike]

We know anals involved.

[Devin]

One.

[Lindsay]

All right, so one of my earlier relationships, this was, like. I'm not gonna say this is gonna be too much information, but in one of my earlier relationships, like, one day I was on my cycle, so my partner at the time, he was talking to me about analysis. But this is, like, the 11th conversation we had about it. And, like, at the time, like, I'm already knowing, like, I have a high pain tolerance. So I agreed to it. Like, I gave in. But the only issue is that, like, we had no lube, but it was okay because it just slid in because it was little. So it was fine. But fast forward. Y' all ever heard of, like, Fleece Johnson?

[Mike]

Yeah. Yeah, Yeah. I want you, and I'm gonna get you.

[Lindsay]

One day we're out and about, and this guy, like, walks up to us, but dabs him up. And as he daps him up, he said, you need Astro God for that team, too, but I'm a girly girl. So I'm thinking they talking about, like, the rapper Raptors or the Lakers or, like, a Touchdown or something. I don't know what they was talking about, but my intuition was like, go through his phone. So I get the opportunity to go through his phone, and it was just like, ass everywhere. Like, boy ass, girl ass, big ass, little ass. It was just. It was like. Like a Fleece Johnson type of situation.

[Pat]

The range. Hey, hey, hey, man.

[Mike]

He ain't give a the.

[Lindsay]

Like, if you had a hole and if you was gonna let him in, he was gonna dig in it.

[Mike]

Oh, my God.

[Lindsay]

So I feel like if a guy overly wants to do anal with you, like, something is up.

[Mike]

Okay, let's talk about. No, let's go back to your situation. So when you went through his phone and found that out, what happened next?

[Lindsay]

Are you gonna laugh at me?

[Pat]

No.

[Lindsay]

I don't believe you.

[Mike]

No, we're not. This is, like, very serious. We. We got. We got Devin here. We're. We're working on being more serious and talking about survival relationship tips. So we're going to be very serious about this. Huh?

[Pat]

I don't know what happened.

[Lindsay]

I said this doesn't. Like. This doesn't feel like a safe space right now.

[Mike]

What. What can we do to make it a safe place?

[Lindsay]

Don't laugh.

[Mike]

Okay, we got you.

[Pat]

We got you.

[Mike]

You promise you?

[Lindsay]

We had a threesome with the guy. Now y' all are not saying anything.

[Pat]

We're trying not to laugh.

[Lindsay]

And then that was it. But we. We broke up with him because I felt like he was like, we broke up with him. Well, I broke up with him because I'm giving away too much information.

[Mike]

Not that you gave away the biggest pieces.

[Pat]

Whatever you say.

[Mike]

If you said your Social Security after this, it would be less information than what you've already given us, so you just might as well.

[Lindsay]

This is too much. That relationship ended because it was just too much. She was just a serial cheater.

[Mike]

She tried to give him double the ass, and it still wasn't enough. He just, like, let me give him some boy ass and some girl ass and maybe he'll stop cheating. Assman never stops.

[Pat]

No, that is a man of conviction. Like, he know what he wants.

[Mike]

Like, you dated ass man, so I.

[Lindsay]

Feel like, yeah, if. If a guy, like, just wants to do that, like, too much, then something.

[Pat]

Is up and go through his phone and then have a. With him.

[Lindsay]

Yeah, but I like it too. That's the problem. So I just feel like it's going to keep happening to me.

[Mike]

Oh, I get what you're saying. So you. You like guys that are into anal, but you feel like. Like that bridge could be crossed over to the other side pretty easily?

[Lindsay]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Pat]

All right, all right.

[Mike]

This is a very stinky conversation.

[Devin]

This was illuminating.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Lindsay]

This is not a safe. Okay.

[Mike]

Yeah, you. Yeah.

[Lindsay]

Have a good night.

[Mike]

Okay. Whatever. Whatever. Booty.

[Devin]

Oh, was she upset that the public podcast is not a safe space?

[Pat]

Yo, what's good? What up? What up? Why you sound so far away?

[Mike]

No, it's not him. He's turning.

[Pat]

Oh, that's my headphones. Oh, I forgot.

[Mike]

Why you hanging up and calling this bro? Obviously, whatever. You put up way too high.

[Pat]

My bad.

[Mike]

Yeah, this dude. No, not you. Not you. What am I. What?

[Pat]

I don't know.

[Mike]

I'm about to die. All right, you good? Is it. Yours is good.

[Pat]

Okay. All right, we got a question for you.

[Devin]

You.

[Pat]

Yes, sir. What's funny? Oh, that's your question.

[Mike]

Okay, what's funny? And it's not supposed to be funny.

[Pat]

Oh, I know exactly what I responded with. It's. It's. It's my deaf sister, fool.

[Mike]

Like.

[Pat]

Like, she don't know how to speak.

[Mike]

You know? Like, she don't. She can't hear, so she can't speak, but she be trying to learn how.

[Pat]

To speak, you know?

[Mike]

Like, so. So in Spanish, she could say, like, some bad words, but she doesn't know what she's saying. So sometimes it kind of Sound like.

[Pat]

Like, for pendejo.

[Mike]

Like, you guys heard that, right?

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah. Like, people be like, hey, pendejo. Or some. You're like.

[Mike]

But like, I know what she says, and I feel like it's up.

[Pat]

It's up.

[Mike]

But, like, it's kind of funny.

[Pat]

And then she'd be like, cursing me the out.

[Mike]

And.

[Pat]

And she calls me the.

[Mike]

And she calls me a boy in her sign language, but it's not too funny.

[Pat]

But when she starts saying that little gang. I don't know, my boy.

[Mike]

That.

[Devin]

That's just kind of funny.

[Mike]

Or is that. I don't know.

[Devin]

I mean, it's his sister.

[Pat]

It is his sister, you know?

[Mike]

Like, ah, man, it's crazy that she's deaf and she knows you're a boy.

[Pat]

That's also.

[Mike]

Yeah, she like, I can't hear him, but I can tell I be doing.

[Pat]

I'll be doing tattoos. So, like, it's not even just, like, becoming.

[Mike]

You know?

[Pat]

Sometimes it be like a female and.

[Mike]

Her sister and her homegirl.

[Pat]

But you just short circuit.

[Mike]

Yeah, I think so.

[Pat]

All right. Okay.

[Mike]

Well, I can hear you. You're a fuck boy.

[Pat]

All right, clocked. Come on.

[Mike]

What you got to say, brother? What you gotta say?

[Pat]

The audio listeners, even though I'm an audio listener, I ain't broke. I ain't broke. I ain't broke. I ain't broke.

[Mike]

All right, all right. This is really awkward.

[Pat]

All right, man. You have a good one. When I'm on the clock, I be. I'll be watching, so. Yeah.

[Mike]

All right. And where you work at? Where you work at? Huh? Where you work at, fool?

[Pat]

I be.

[Mike]

What the. That's what you just called.

[Pat]

I. I drive the forklift.

[Mike]

Okay, wait, you're. Wait, you're watching us and driving the forklift?

[Pat]

Sister was right.

[Mike]

That's why we dropping in the rankings as a country. That's what we doing.

[Devin]

I'm calling osha.

[Pat]

Hey. All right. You'll be out of job by next week, brother. You have a good one.

[Lindsay]

All right, man. Can y' all hear me now?

[Mike]

No. No. Why you get an attitude with us, the we do? I don't care what type of day you having. You gotta chill that shit out so.

[Lindsay]

I can't hear y' all.

[Mike]

Oh, where you work at?

[Lindsay]

I'm on the plantation, so I can't hear y' all. I'm slaving for Jeff at Amazon.

[Mike]

Oh, damn. Basil's Catching Astray is crazy.

[Pat]

All right, we're gonna make it quick then.

[Mike]

What's. I got you? What's Funny. But it's not supposed to be funny, bro.

[Lindsay]

When somebody just randomly tell you, like, you just randomly in the middle of something and somebody be like, oh, so.

[Mike]

And so passed away.

[Lindsay]

And it's like you kind of caught.

[Devin]

Off guard by the.

[Lindsay]

Well, I don't know about everybody else, but I usually start laughing, so I gotta turn around. Hopefully they don't see me laughing. Cause that up especially when I don't know the person or no relation to him.

[Mike]

That's why sometimes I'm not gonna lie. When somebody be like, oh, man, such and such died. They the city up with this one. I'd be like, well, I live in that city.

[Lindsay]

Like, damn, I'm in the city.

[Devin]

I'm up.

[Mike]

No, you're bogus.

[Devin]

Like, who is the city?

[Pat]

What was the most recent one that happened?

[Lindsay]

I don't know. It haven't been really. I'm glad nobody been dying. But somebody really that. They wasn't in my family or close. But you know how black people is. And you had, like, family that ain't even related to you.

[Pat]

But they'd be like, oh, so and so.

[Lindsay]

Oh, gee, my past. I'm like, oh, damn. And I just got to laughing, but I'm like, damn.

[Mike]

Recipes to her.

[Pat]

RPG mom. Man, oh, man. Okay.

[Devin]

She got caught at work.

[Mike]

Bezos came from the back.

[Devin]

Bezos, the All Seeing Eye. You came from the ceiling.

[Mike]

No, for real, you. I would be afraid if he were. I saw one time, it was like a video of Jeff Bezos, and it was like a dude who. Who had been working for him for like 30 years. And he's like, I just love the company. I love what Jeff brings and stuff like that. And like, he actually met Jeff Bezos. And Jeff Bezos, like, barely turned to him, and he was just like, nice to meet you.

[Pat]

Welcome to Crash Enemies podcast.

[Lindsay]

Well, thank you, Mike.

[Pat]

A pass here. We got a friend Devin here.

[Mike]

I said, what up first?

[Lindsay]

Oh, y' all sound the same. What's down?

[Devin]

And I'm Devin. What's up?

[Lindsay]

Hi, Devin.

[Devin]

Hi.

[Lindsay]

Ask the question. Yeah, come on.

[Devin]

Yeah, come on. Ask the question.

[Pat]

All right. What's a red flag to some people, but not to you.

[Lindsay]

Not taking care of their kids?

[Pat]

So that's not really a red flag too.

[Lindsay]

No, I don't got to do with me.

[Pat]

You don't think that's like a reflection? You don't think that's a reflection on them?

[Lindsay]

No, because it's like if a never gave you. You need to stop having kids out of wedlock. First of all, if A never gave you no commitment in the first place. What were you expecting?

[Mike]

Clock.

[Pat]

It does the same to you.

[Mike]

But she's saying that she wouldn't have. She said she wouldn't have no baby. She's saying these girls getting they so in a position by themselves.

[Lindsay]

I know. I have kids.

[Mike]

You married?

[Lindsay]

Yes.

[Mike]

Oh, you married with kids all by the same dude?

[Lindsay]

Yes.

[Mike]

Correct. This is. I told you. These are the people that's up relationship advice. Happily married people. They come back and give bad advice. You have. How long you been married?

[Lindsay]

Since 2015.

[Mike]

2015. You don't even know the years. He just said today.

[Lindsay]

Because my daughter was born in 2016.

[Mike]

Y' all still happy? Yeah.

[Pat]

We said the. He better be happy.

[Mike]

Where he at?

[Lindsay]

He deployed.

[Mike]

Are you loyal? Hello.

[Lindsay]

I thought this was about red flags. Hello.

[Mike]

No. Are you loyal?

[Pat]

You're getting all in her business, man.

[Mike]

What?

[Devin]

You can't wait.

[Mike]

Why won't you answer that?

[Devin]

You literally.

[Mike]

You can lie. You know that, right?

[Lindsay]

No, I'm loyal.

[Pat]

All right.

[Devin]

I'm not convinced. I'm not convinced.

[Lindsay]

We nasty a thing.

[Pat]

David. You have a good one.

[Devin]

Yo. So good. So good. Bye, y' all.

[Pat]

Bye. I think you really know it.

[Mike]

David is so crazy.

[Devin]

The sweetness of her voice when I first said. Hi, I'm Devin. Hi. Hey, you. Then David.

[Mike]

Why would.

[Devin]

Why Just she couldn't lie.

[Mike]

Like, what the. Like you're already cheating. Like, just lie a little bit more. It's like. Nope. Too far. I won't lie about the lying. Uncle Mike and Uncle. Hey. Shut your ass up. Don't come here with that.

[Pat]

It's time to set you old.

[Mike]

Yeah. Shut the up. I got a question for you though. Bro. Let's get this over. You pissing me off, bro. What's funny? But.

[Devin]

Huh? That's a question, man.

[Pat]

All right.

[Mike]

That what's funny. But it's not supposed to be funny.

[Devin]

What's that?

[Mike]

I said we we.

[Pat]

Bro.

[Mike]

The word we we. Like. I knew you were a as soon as we called you. Like.

[Pat]

No way.

[Devin]

Bro.

[Mike]

Every time I'm on here.

[Pat]

Bro.

[Mike]

You always did.

[Pat]

Respect.

[Mike]

You've been on here before.

[Pat]

Yes, Bro.

[Mike]

Have you ever made the pie? Like. I think. I think I. I think I got a record. I made the pie like once, bro. But I think I got a record.

[Pat]

Like the most call calls, bro.

[Mike]

I got to most calls. And you only got. You only made it to the podcast one time.

[Pat]

Once or twice.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

No.

[Mike]

Twice.

[Pat]

I think.

[Mike]

How many times? It's twice.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

It's gonna stay that way. Promise You That.

[Pat]

Why. Why is that word so funny to you? And where I.

[Mike]

He going in?

[Devin]

Did he say?

[Pat]

Damn fake beard.

[Mike]

You know, I gotta look up your profile now.

[Pat]

So where. Where are you hanging around last time? Where are you hanging around that you hear the word wee wee?

[Mike]

Oh, I know this dude. Yeah, we go way back. Oh, I remember you. I remember you, bro. Like, bruh, y' all know that Duke.

[Pat]

Dennis video where he was like.

[Mike]

He's like, you got a little wee wee embrace that. Yeah, I remember you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is. Look, so. You look like. Okay, you're like a WNBA point guard. I get buckets on you, Pat. You shut up, stud. You play like. You play like PJ Washington, bro. Yeah, good one. All right, Brody, I think you might make the pie, bro. Hold on, bro. I didn't even get to explain my wee wee joke.

[Pat]

Go ahead.

[Mike]

Oh, yeah, okay.

[Devin]

That.

[Pat]

Right.

[Mike]

I know that video or Duke. Then it's like, he like, you got a little wee wee embrace that.

[Pat]

You said that part already. That was it funny to me, bro.

[Mike]

I feel just a funny funny. Wait, no way. That was a joke. That was a joke.

[Devin]

You said it twice.

[Mike]

I said it twice. Dang. That's aura.

[Pat]

That's.

[Mike]

That's L, bro. He followed it. He f it. Little ugly ass. Fold it.

[Devin]

Did he call you a fake beard?

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Yeah, they always accuse me of having a fake beard. It's just something they making up and they going along with.

[Pat]

Hello.

[Lindsay]

Hello.

[Pat]

How's it going?

[Mike]

Hi.

[Devin]

Welcome to Crash Dummies. I'm Devin. I'm guesting and producing and sitting right between Mike and Pack. Not between us, right between. I'm sharing a lap.

[Lindsay]

Are you holding hands at the same time?

[Devin]

You get it. You get it. I like your style. All right, I got a question for you.

[Mike]

You.

[Devin]

What's something that's. That's not supposed to be funny, but.

[Mike]

It is to you?

[Lindsay]

I think that getting ghosted, and I know that sounds so bad, I think that it's kind of funny because I've been on the other side of it and just kind of not, I guess, wanting to talk to the person anymore. And that hurts so bad, but it's also so funny because it just be like that. Like. Okay, fine.

[Pat]

It's like, you respect the game.

[Lindsay]

I respect the game. I mean, I think I'm out in la and so it's really hard to try and cultivate a relationship out here, but I respect. I respect the roster on other people's hands.

[Pat]

What's been the reason you ghosted somebody.

[Lindsay]

I think my main reason is, is honestly just like effort. Like, if you're not putting in effort, then I don't even want to have to text you back or talk to you back. Nothing too insane. But also I feel like there's sometimes, and I don't know if y' all have been through this, but you get like there's phases of, oh, I'm talking to multiple people and then I'm talking to absolutely no one. And when you're on that, like multiple people ride, like the roller coaster going up, up, I feel like it's easier to just kind of let a few strays here and there.

[Mike]

As you like, back, right? You're building towards somebody, like somebody gets your attention a little bit more and then you don't feel like breaking up with the five, six other dudes you're probably talking to.

[Devin]

You're all right, Pat.

[Lindsay]

I don't mean to sound that bad.

[Mike]

We out in LA too. We gonna find you and jump you.

[Pat]

Oh, no, we're not.

[Mike]

Yes, we are.

[Devin]

You going through something fast?

[Lindsay]

I mean, I come try, try. I did, I did three day training boxing, so me and Mike, we could maybe go around.

[Devin]

That's not how that works. That's not how that works, though. You right.

[Pat]

All right, you have a good one.

[Devin]

Thank you.

[Pat]

Bye.

[Mike]

Yo, yo, yo. What's the deal? No, mine is just in the car getting lunch. Huh? Going, going get lunch.

[Devin]

What? What time is it where you are?

[Mike]

6:37.

[Devin]

Just checking. Just making sure I'm not crazy.

[Mike]

Wait, wait, so you.

[Devin]

It's night time, bro.

[Mike]

So you want to fix that? So you. Are you going to still get lunch after we confirmed what time it is? Is my lunchtime for work? Okay. Okay, okay, okay, okay.

[Pat]

Okay. All right.

[Devin]

Yeah, yeah.

[Pat]

Oh, what's the red flag? You hear people mention that you don't think it is having a girl. Say again?

[Mike]

Say it again. Having a girl best friend.

[Pat]

Well, have you had problems with this? It's because my girl best friend.

[Devin]

Oh, here's the thing.

[Mike]

I think girls just need to be.

[Devin]

More, like, they need to be less insecure.

[Mike]

Like, nice. All women listen to this. Be less insecure. No, you're fixing it, brother. Keep going.

[Devin]

No.

[Mike]

It'S working. Like, personally, my girl best friend was.

[Devin]

Gay when we first met, so I never looked at her like any type of way. When you first met? No. Did it change? Yeah. I'm their new producer, Devin. Oh, what's up, man? Hi. Wait, so it did? So her sexuality changed in the course of you being friends?

[Mike]

She's got a boyfriend now.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Wait, so what's the red flag? Yeah, what are we getting to here?

[Devin]

Girl best friend. Red flag.

[Pat]

So your girl had a problem with. With your current girl best friend? Yeah.

[Mike]

So has anything happened with. With you and your girl best friend that, like, triggered your girlfriend? No.

[Pat]

I feel like it's a part being left off for some reason.

[Mike]

Being left.

[Devin]

There's lamps falling off the Velcro wall right now. That was taped up there. Look at that.

[Mike]

That's because somebody just lied in our presence. God said, hell no. Ask him again. So did something ever happen between you and your best friend? No. So you swear?

[Devin]

I swear. But would you. But would you like it to you?

[Lindsay]

No.

[Pat]

Okay, so I'm trying to see, did you give her a reason to believe any of this? It just came out of nowhere.

[Mike]

Well, I mean, it's because I'm close to her family, so maybe that was the reason, but I don't know. Yeah, something going on. Your guilty conscious made you call into the podcast and you almost admitted it. But, like, something holding back and you, like. Nah, not the time.

[Pat]

It's all right, bro. Hey, your secret is safe with us, all right? We're gonna save you from yourself, all right?

[Devin]

You're in love with your best friend, dude, it's fine.

[Mike]

No, I'm not. Why are you calling about it?

[Pat]

You guys called me. No, he didn't.

[Mike]

You answered the call.

[Pat]

Oh, man.

[Jessica]

Hey, Pat.

[Mike]

Hey, Mike. What's the deal? Welcome to Crashing Me's podcast.

[Jessica]

Hello.

[Mike]

No, don't do that.

[Pat]

Last week, we got a friend, Devin, here too.

[Mike]

Hi.

[Lindsay]

Hi.

[Devin]

She was like, no, I'm out there. Can't be.

[Pat]

Devin, what's a red flag to you that you don't think it is?

[Lindsay]

You know what?

[Jessica]

I answered the question wrong.

[Lindsay]

I put Wandering Eyes, and I think.

[Jessica]

That'S a red flag to me, but.

[Lindsay]

I. I just read the question.

[Pat]

Okay, what's a red flag to you.

[Lindsay]

Wandering Eyes?

[Pat]

Can. Can you explain that? Like, you've gone through that.

[Lindsay]

Just, like, not paying attention? Not really, like, being, like, with each other. Like, they're always, like, somewhere else. Like, looking somewhere else. I don't know.

[Mike]

You know, I feel it. So you mean, like, okay, y' all out to dinner at a restaurant, and, you know, he on his phone or he keep looking at the door every time somebody walk in?

[Lindsay]

Yeah, exactly like that. Just like, not being. Not being there.

[Jessica]

It's like, bro, you're.

[Lindsay]

You're physically here, but mentally you somewhere else.

[Mike]

Okay, okay, okay. Let's. Let's. Let's role play. Really quick. Look. All right, let's say I got wondering. Just role play you. We're at. We're at dinner, but. Okay, let's role play. All right.

[Pat]

That's crazy.

[Mike]

What convers. What conversations are you having? Like, with him. With the person? That's what I'm trying to get you to do. Like what. What conversations are you giving him about.

[Lindsay]

Lego, you know, LeBron.

[Mike]

Yeah, there we go. I knew what you were.

[Pat]

I would definitely start looking up at the ceiling.

[Mike]

Yeah. I'm not gonna lie. I love women, but if my woman talks about LeBron, I am. My eyes are starting.

[Devin]

I'm checking out.

[Mike]

Yeah, they might go two different ways. About to watch both of these TVs. Not. Anything else that you want to talk about.

[Pat]

Young up? Not really.

[Mike]

I just really with your guys's podcast.

[Pat]

Have you been on the podcast before? I feel like you're. I feel like your voice sounds familiar.

[Lindsay]

I was the pip squeak last time.

[Mike]

Pip squeak. Oh, how tall are you?

[Jessica]

I was a pip squeak.

[Mike]

How tall are you?

[Lindsay]

Hello?

[Pat]

She getting yours?

[Mike]

How tall are you? Yeah, I can hear you. How tall are you?

[Jessica]

I'm 4:10.

[Mike]

Oh, yeah. It do sound like she's talking up, don't it?

[Devin]

Are you sure it's a wandering eye or they just, like, can't see you?

[Lindsay]

Was that pat?

[Jessica]

Was that you.

[Lindsay]

Fucking hat?

[Mike]

No, that wasn't me.

[Pat]

You have a good one.

[Devin]

Bye.

[Mike]

Bye, Bye, bye.

[Jessica]

Hello?

[Mike]

Hi.

[Jessica]

Can you hear me?

[Pat]

Yes, we can. Can you hear us? Great.

[Mike]

There's a lot. There's a lot of women today. The ladies off, you know?

[Jessica]

Well, yeah, there's a lot of red flags in men. Duh.

[Pat]

Oh.

[Devin]

Oh, actually, no.

[Jessica]

Hate to you. Sorry, sorry, sorry. I. No disrespect. That was kind of rude.

[Mike]

You good? You a got to apologize, you know? Say what you got to say.

[Devin]

Yeah, not to us.

[Pat]

Yes. Okay.

[Jessica]

You're right. Yeah.

[Pat]

What's a red flag? You hear people mention that you don't.

[Jessica]

Think it is anger issues.

[Devin]

Wait, you don't think that's a red flag?

[Jessica]

Sometimes. Sometimes it's a red flag. Sometimes it's good. Like. Like, show me you actually care about me. Tell me how you feel. You know?

[Mike]

Yeah. How tall are you?

[Jessica]

I'm five six.

[Mike]

God damn. No. Lakers. Need some help. It's actually, like, very natural, just very standard. You said you weren't allowed to watch TV as a kid.

[Jessica]

No, anything except Disney Channel.

[Mike]

Why? Why was that? Your parents really straight?

[Jessica]

Yeah, just my mom. Like, we could only watch two shows on Disney xd.

[Devin]

Oh, what shows?

[Jessica]

Yeah.

[Devin]

What the hell was that? What was on Kicking It.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Jessica]

Oh, yeah, like Ninja Guys.

[Mike]

Yeah, you were Shelter like a motherfuck that she definitely. She's watching Kicking It.

[Jessica]

Hey, I like Kicking It.

[Mike]

You only. You grew up only watching Kicking It. I know. You have the personality of a sponge. Do not oh, man Day. Let me call you when I'm sleepy. Tell me about your day.

[Jessica]

Wait, that's. That's actually sad because I will do that.

[Pat]

No.

[Mike]

Do you watch TV now?

[Jessica]

Yeah, sometimes a little bit.

[Mike]

Okay. Okay. Okay, good.

[Jessica]

Yeah. But I don't want to tell you what shows I watch because I feel like you can judge me.

[Mike]

Okay. Yeah, let's hear it.

[Devin]

We definitely are. Yeah, but go on.

[Pat]

We will, but it's in a playful way.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Devin]

What do you watch?

[Jessica]

Well, I don't normally, like, sit down to watch tv and I don't give it my full attention, so I'll just normally watch, like, series that I've already watched before, so Friends. I like that. Grey's Anatomy. I'm actually gonna watch that when I get home from the gym later. What's another one? Oh, I like Modern Family. Oh, I also like Abbott Elementary. I just caught up last night. Yeah, that was funny.

[Mike]

Okay. I mean, you're like.

[Pat]

It's like regular sitcom tv, like, a.

[Mike]

Long way from xd. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But these are all super popular shows. Like, what's a show that you watch that maybe not many people watch? Yeah, that's what I thought.

[Jessica]

The. No, no, no. The. The updated series of Sex in the City and. Just like that. But that's a girls show. Like, I would be really surprised.

[Mike]

Okay, I'll give you that one. Yeah, I'm sorry. Jessica Parker. Yeah. Yeah.

[Jessica]

She always reminded me of my aunt. I don't know why. My aunt looks nothing like her. Oh, you want to hear something funny?

[Mike]

This is really funny.

[Jessica]

This is. This is really funny.

[Devin]

You did a good job.

[Jessica]

Okay, that's not funny. Anyway, growing up, my aunt was super tall and she always had a pixie cut.

[Devin]

Right.

[Jessica]

Also. Oh, okay. I'm just gonna tell you the story before I was gonna say my, like, forewarning. Anyway, I never saw my aunt a lot. No, that's not nice. So I never saw my aunt a lot. And she always came back when I heard the new Rihanna songs. Right. So I was like, oh, my. And she was always super, super, super tan. And then I grew up around a lot of white people, so I didn't know, like, like, the colors. Okay, okay. There's A lot of silence.

[Mike]

No, we're. Listen, it's actually got interesting. Like, I was trolling because it was a really bad call, but now it's interesting. It's picking up.

[Jessica]

Okay. A little bit hurt, but I'll continue.

[Pat]

Doing a good job being mean. Just go ahead.

[Jessica]

I really thought my aunt was Rihanna for a good, like, four years. Not the one that I thought was Jessica. Sarah Jessica Parker. A different aunt because she had.

[Mike]

Because she had a tan.

[Jessica]

Yes.

[Mike]

How old were you?

[Jessica]

Like seven.

[Mike]

I think your parents, like, held you back, like, a lot.

[Pat]

Now, Daisy XD ended this. Yeah. Yeah.

[Devin]

If she would have watched Ned's Declassified, she would have been fine.

[Pat]

She would have been perfect.

[Devin]

Yeah.

[Jessica]

Wait, what did you say something classified?

[Devin]

Yep.

[Pat]

There's a show called Ned Declassified that was on Nickelodeon.

[Jessica]

Oh, when did it come out?

[Devin]

Don't worry about it.

[Jessica]

Sometimes I sneak and watch Nickelodeon.

[Devin]

N N. Don't worry about it.

[Mike]

Sneaking.

[Pat]

Sneaking.

[Devin]

And watching Nickelodeon is the most sheltered.

[Mike]

I had a whole blunt in my mouth that said the.

[Pat]

Oh, man. All right. You have a good one.

[Jessica]

Thanks. You guys, too.

[Mike]

You're great. You're great.

[Devin]

Bye.

[Mike]

You're a good person.

[Jessica]

Oh, thanks.

[Mike]

Wonderful. You like words of affirmation. I can tell.

[Jessica]

Yeah.

[Mike]

I don't want to ruin your day. You're amazing person.

[Jessica]

You didn't ruin it. It was already a good day. And then you guys made it even better.

[Pat]

Shut up.

[Mike]

There.

[Pat]

You have a good one.

[Devin]

Yeah. That's just like a sweet.

[Pat]

That's just a sweet.

[Mike]

She's like. She's one of those people that's, like, too sweet to be around. Yeah.

[Pat]

Too positive.

[Devin]

Yeah. You're like. You're so sweet. Honestly, her laugh when you said I had a blunt in my mouth. She's like, a blunt. Oh, a blunt. That's marijuana. I know that.

[Mike]

What I was saying about her. She was watching all shows with no crime.

[Devin]

For real.

[Pat]

Kicking is funny. Wow. Well, Devin, so fun, man. Thank you for coming on the pod.

[Devin]

Thanks for hitting me up, guys. I'm a fan of the show. It's. It's fun to witness it.

[Mike]

Now this is fire. This is what, like, when people asked us ask us to get guests. We want people that have, like, done something in the industry, but also, like, find us naturally.

[Devin]

Yeah.

[Mike]

So they do exactly what you did today and, like, be on the show and it's like, seamless.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

You know, a lot of people be like, oh, yeah, I'll come on your show, blah, blah. And they never watch it. And just like, we're not going to ask you. People don't even know what. Just say your hometown. So we don't even know where you're from. Where are you from, though?

[Devin]

I'm from Atlanta, Georgia. Wow.

[Pat]

We're actually going to be there in like, May 28th. May 28th. Yeah. Yeah.

[Mike]

Sick. Yeah. Yeah.

[Devin]

You guys taking the show on the road? You guys doing live Crash Dummies or what?

[Pat]

That's hopefully by this year, before the end of the year. Hopefully. Sick.

[Devin]

Yeah.

[Mike]

You gotta come by, do live show with us.

[Pat]

Dude would love to be fire.

[Devin]

So fun. Yeah. We did one live for Neds and it was in LA and it was a blast. It's fun doing these pods live when you actually have the.

[Pat]

The crowd. Yeah, yeah, that'd be dope to go to.

[Mike]

Love this one today.

[Devin]

Yeah. Thanks for having me on, guys. Like, it's cool to be here and I love what you guys are doing.

[Mike]

Anything to plug before.

[Devin]

When's this coming out next? Next couple weeks?

[Mike]

Yeah, next couple weeks. Yeah, yeah.

[Pat]

Two weeks maybe.

[Devin]

I mean, check out Nezdi classified pod where every Wednesday, just talking kind of similar to you guys. We're just old friends talking and kind of introspecting about life. Gnarly. We didn't get to talk about it, but Russ comes out May 2, and I play a gnarly cowboy in that. Oh, yeah. So that's. That'll be out. You can see me in a very controversial film playing a gnarly dirty cowboy.

[Pat]

Okay. All right.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Devin]

Yeah.

[Pat]

What you filming?

[Devin]

When we started in 2021, we finished in 2023.

[Mike]

God.

[Pat]

Oh, damn.

[Mike]

Yeah, that's why I did, like, even, like. So we just shot a podcast, Shout out to Milwaukee, Uncut.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

And they're not releasing the episode for like, three weeks. And it's giving me anxiety because I don't remember what the. I said.

[Devin]

Absolutely no. Films are way. There's like years down the road. It's crazy. I'm gonna forget.

[Mike]

I would have so much anxiety. Like, wait, what film y' all putting on?

[Devin]

Yeah. Oh, I was in it, you know.

[Mike]

When you played the drum.

[Pat]

You gotta do press for it and everything.

[Mike]

Yeah, do press. Yeah. We love the plot of the movie.

[Pat]

Well, yeah, this has been crashed on me's podcast episode. We don't.

[Mike]

You guys stop.

[Devin]

You stop counting.

[Pat]

No, because this is like our. We're in la. We shot so many. We're trying to shoot a lot of pot because I'm traveling to Sweden soon. Yeah.

[Devin]

You're trying to bank them.

[Pat]

Bank some episodes when I'M gone.

[Devin]

So you want to hear some crazy? When we were doing our pod before. Now it's different. Now we're, like, catching up weekly. When we were doing our pod before, we would record 12 episodes over two days.

[Mike]

No, that's actually insane.

[Devin]

It was so reckless. It was so reckless.

[Mike]

I bet y' all was so burnt out.

[Devin]

Burnt. It would take me, like, four days to recover from that. I was like. I don't even. I don't want to speak. I don't want to hear my own thoughts anymore. Like, I've shared them all. Yeah, it was. It was a crazy format we were doing. We were recording three months of the pod in two days.

[Mike]

No, that's actually insane. I would wouldn't. I would literally repeat the same joke every pie.

[Devin]

Yeah. It's why our show got. I mean, we're already kind of unhinged, but it got real.

[Mike]

You just gotta let it go.

[Devin]

You gotta let go. I don't know what the. I'm saying, but I gotta fill this hour, so. Yeah. Insane. So. Yeah. Yeah. Guys, thanks for having me.

[Pat]

I appreciate it.

[Mike]

Appreciate it, man.

[Pat]

Peace.