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Mike
You want to know something I didn't like about like middle school, high school is I could never really get straight A's both semester, you know, whether it's because of sports or something else. But the main thing I knew I would never get straight A's was because of art and just like all these people that. I can't draw today. Like. You can't draw?
Pat
I could draw a little bit.
Mike
No, no, you can't fucking draw.
Pat
Yes, I can.
Mike
I'm saying compared to Gene, you can't draw. Okay, yes, that's what I'm saying. Compared to you can't draw. I can, I can tell you can't draw. I don't know why. Don't ask any questions. But it's just like, just look. It's three out of four of us can't draw. And it was. We were getting judged off creating shit. And it's like, I can't do this.
Pat
You probably just weren't trying. I'm just. A lot of, A lot of art classes were simple shit. Like just like attempting to do something.
Mike
No, bro, like I legit. I can't draw. Like I could literally see a nose and I can see the person draw it perfectly. I and I do every step after and our gonna look different.
Pat
Yeah, that's the, that's different though.
Mike
No, I'm just saying. But that, but I'm getting judged off that I was getting bad grade. I was getting.
Pat
What kind of school did you go to? They were judging. Were you, were you getting judged how good the art was or just basically
Gene
you definitely got like some extra credit for like.
Mike
Yes, thank you.
Pat
But if you follow the instructions. So like they say like oh, draw a face and then like they say draw this nose like this. Boom, boom. Draw that first part right and then you draw the next step. Draw a circle. Next step, draw the little eyebrows. If you're probably trying to like you're skipping steps to get to a different result.
Gene
Are you trolling and you just add no.
Pat
Yeah, fact I give him a grill and shit.
Mike
I. Did I say giving people grills and shit? I ain't going to lie.
Gene
Gangster ass everywhere.
Mike
One thing you know about my picture, it's going to be some clouds in the partly. It's going to be a partly cloudy going on every time. I'm going to give you a little sun with a cloud coming off that, cuz that's the only thing can draw. But I just didn't like that. This is like, bro, like people that's bad at math, right? Get to go to like, special education math. Yeah, it should be special education art. You go in there and it's like a brace on my wrist and like this way. Perfect live. I appreciate it.
Gene
I miss sticky tape.
Mike
I wouldn't mind standing like a three hour block for that. Like, especially art. How y' all doing, man? We can't put it together.
Pat
Oh, my God. Yo, yo, that's not what we doing.
Mike
Hello.
Pat
Hey, the radio is for people who are driving.
Unknown Male Guest 1
I'll drive them.
Pat
Welcome to Crash Dummies podcast. Anyway, welcome to Crash Dummies episode sold 257.
Mike
I have no clue. We've been on the road, man. We've been beating down that road, dude.
Pat
Oh, we got G here. We got Carrie with us as well.
Gene
What up?
Mike
Hey, and Pat, what up? I'm like, y' all be. Y' all been bullshitting in the comments lately and I want to say, you know, I'm not blaming y' all for us not being uber famous yet, but it's y' all fault, bro. Y' all sit there and troll in the comments instead of saying, like, y' all favorite moment. So now when somebody new comes, there is, oh, Mike this, Pat that. Look at these. These is ass. And it's like, we know y' all trolling, but damn the new viewers coming here. Like, I'm reading the comments and this look ass. Everybody in here saying, telling the host to shut the up. Like, what the is going on?
Pat
It's funny though. Like, over the Joe episode, we got called misogynistic. But I feel like this is the first time that we've been really like, we get. We get called misogynistic and we get called sims. It's like the both extreme end sometimes, and it's hilarious. So I don't know. And it's like, I know it's not most of y'. All.
Mike
It's not. Don't. Don't get me wrong, bro. I know who y' all are. I can literally tell. Even when y' all say. I look through your comments and y' all left 120 comments over the years on the podcast and they all been troll comments. I know that's your way of showing love and I appreciate it, but every once in a while, man, drop your favorite moment with like a timestamp and then call me a bitch ass. You know what I'm saying? Like, you want to come to my man Pat a bitch? So the new viewer, like, man, the host is a bitch. I'm not. Why would I watch this?
Pat
Anyway, Make Sure. You guys subscribe to Patreon? We've been dropping episodes there. Seattle and Portland. Apologies. We do have to cancel the show. Just personal things are going on, so just.
Mike
Just family emergency.
Unknown Male Guest 2
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Mike
And it's just like. It's funny. We got a bunch of DMS. Did you get DMs, too?
Unknown Male Guest 1
Yeah, yeah.
Mike
And it's just like, people, like, some people, like, starting off talking like, y' all don't even want to figure out
Pat
what happened, but the venue moved the. The show the first time and then just moved it to a date where it just didn't work out.
Mike
Just in case they talking behind our back.
Pat
Yeah, yeah, we put a little stuff down there.
Mike
Yeah.
Pat
What else? Merch is available online. If you ordered the International Women's Century T shirts, those are already shipped out by now.
Mike
Misogynistic.
Pat
You should be getting those this week. What else? Anything else?
Gene
A couple of shows still come.
Pat
Toronto, get your tickets. Almost sold out, legit. The show probably has, like, five more tickets. No exaggeration.
Mike
That's no salesmanship. Like, so don't. Don't come to us.
Pat
Probably. Five more tickets.
Mike
Yeah. Detroit.
Pat
Detroit, That's a bigger venue. We're still, you know, still going strong, so. Key getting your tickets. I know we're competing with Summer Walker, but you have to choose one.
Mike
Yeah, I will literally. I will literally sing session 32 at the show for you.
Pat
We do karaoke, so we got you. We got you a two Summer Walker song. Yeah, y' all got some Walker at home, man.
Mike
I think playing games too. Maybe Riot. You know what I'm saying? I might go to the Summer Walker concert. What the. I ain't gonna lie. I'm gonna look at you a little weird if you have Summer Walker tickets and then you come to see us.
Pat
No, no, no. Do it, though.
Mike
No, go to Summer Walker.
Pat
Carrie gonna be there too.
Carrie
Yeah, I am gonna be there. I'm so excited.
Mike
Yeah. And gang. Gang through. So there will be extra security. So. And usually, like, we like to set examples. So, like, the first person literally is not gonna, like, you shouldn't get your ass beat, but you might just. Just like, you know, so we set an example. It's like a thing like, hey, Mike, I love you. Security. Beat that ass.
Pat
I don't think you should Uber eats McDonald's because I. While I was walking past my apartment complex, walking past somebody apartment, and they had a McDonald's Uber Eats in front of the door. I feel like McDonald's is an in the moment meal, like, sometimes, honestly, McDonald's might not. Probably shouldn't make it to your house.
Carrie
No.
Gene
Like also down the block from everywhere.
Pat
Yeah. Honestly it's been a while since I consumed McDonald's in my house. Like it's always like an in the car meal for me. And when I see it in front of your, like your, your door. Yeah. It just, I don't know, it's never going to be fresh obviously. It's going to be like the ride there because you don't even get like, especially Gordon fries. You don't even get the some of like super hot fries. Or you can just reach in the bag and eat it on the way. So you don't even get access to that.
Mike
Yeah, McDonald's literally lasts 30 minutes. Yeah, yeah, it's literally 30 minutes. Like you got 30 minutes to eat your McDonald's or that might get up and beat your ass. They can start growing arms.
Pat
Why are you ubering it as well? Because like you around every corner it
Mike
also like depending on like the fees and if you actually add it up, you might spend more money getting the McDonald's. Your bill is 7.99. Service and fees is 9.99. My. You just pay for a to bring you some.
Carrie
I think it's so interesting what people decide to get delivered to their door. Like there's this one girl in my apartment and she comes down to get one singular drink that gets delivered to
Pat
her and I'm just like, come on now, one single
Mike
sound like the beginning to a bad porn. I only brought you one drink. Like what type of is this?
Pat
I don't have the money for this. However am I gonna pay you?
Mike
I can tell you something else you could do with that cup. Imagine if I was the straw. No, that's not good.
Pat
But you do have a 30 minute, like you said, a 30min gap between McDonald's but most, most fast food. I would say you do get an excuse though if you're like super sick.
Mike
No, if you're super hungry and it's like one of the few things that's open that you can trust. You know what I'm saying? Like if you don't want to get Roscoe's tacos, you know what I'm saying? It's like Roscoe's tacos, McDonald's. And like that I could not do
Carrie
that because I would be afraid that somebody would go and eat my fries or go in my bag and eat my food. Or like you said, the food isn't going to be fresh anymore. But why won't People just go in their car and drive and get it.
Pat
It depends what neighborhood. Neighborhood too. That McDonald's is in. Yeah, that can also be a thing because there's some JJ fishes where I would not go there to get to. To buy it there.
Carrie
Go inside.
Mike
Yeah.
Pat
So I'm gonna. I would Uber eats it, but with
Carrie
McDonald's, it's a drive through.
Mike
That's.
Gene
That's probably done that before. Like, I didn't like the one that was in my hood, so I ordered Uber East McDonald's from the farther one.
Mike
I'm not gonna lie.
Pat
That might be an excuse. That might be an excuse.
Mike
I'm not gonna lie. Like, the McDonald's in the major cities definitely take a. Like, it's a fall off. And I think it's more likely to do, like the employees, like, who works there, they don't be giving a. About the place. But if you catch a McDonald's like on the outskirt of town and it's on one of them exes, man, that like five star dining, bro. Like, God damn, our chicken nuggets. They gave me a whole chicken breast. Like, here, just take the chicken breast. There you go.
Pat
We put a chicken in the back of the car in case you want that for tomorrow.
Mike
They gotta. You go to a white town McDonald's. They got on skates and delivery order. I didn't know y' all did that here.
Pat
I feel like people should start rushing their kids a little bit more. I was getting a bacon, egg, and cheese from this place I get my sandwiches from, but they also serve donuts, and there's a long line, and the line is taking forever because little Jimmy can't be picked between if he wants a glazed donut or like, what a brown butter donut. Right. I feel like when you. When there's so many options like that, you got to go in there with already telling with your kid what they're gonna get. This is what we're getting. Because it was like. It was like, oh, what do you want? And he's like, oh, I want this one. No, no, no, no. Can I get this one? Then it's like a lot of them started thinking and shit. They started scratching their chin. I'm like, bro, come on, man. I just want a sandwich like that.
Mike
That sounds like. That's like those parental households where it's like they. They teach their kids through experience. Like, you're gonna do everything on your own.
Unknown Male Guest 2
Yeah.
Mike
You're gonna fill all this out. It's just like all this for this to get A girl pregnant at night, bro.
Pat
The dad said. The dad said he. They finally got the order right. He's like, oh, do you want to pay?
Mike
Because obviously that's the type of family that let the kid pay.
Pat
Yeah. So he gave him the car.
Gene
Dropping the coins.
Pat
Yeah, the kid dropped the card. He dropped, and he's not even touching the tap. Then he's like, oh, he's. First he's trying to insert it, and the nigga can't find where to insert it because he's too fucking short. And then he's trying to tap. I'm like, bro, speed this shit up.
Mike
No, that. If a nigga. If a little kid dropped coins in front of me, I might. But I have to teach that nigga another lesson. What's that? Where you around?
Carrie
Oh, my God.
Pat
I'm playing just to let them go
Carrie
in front of you. If you're. If you're the person who has the kid, you're like, you know what? We're not ready yet. So y' all can go. Yeah, but you just going to let them take their precious time?
Mike
Yeah, you got. You got to teach. Teach them about urgency.
Pat
Don't get too long.
Carrie
You don't get it.
Pat
No, honestly, that's how I learned a lot of my lessons, too, growing up is urgency. Not doing things when you're not supp. When you're supposed to do it. And if you don't do what you're supposed to do, you're not going to reap the benefit around.
Gene
Get left at the crib.
Pat
My thought, you go to your cousin's house, and you didn't get ready on time. Your favorite toy.
Mike
When I. When I used to live with my mom, I used to, like, ask her why a lot and, like, weasel my way out of doing stuff. Like, my mom would be like, go mow the neighbors down the street lawn. She an old lady. Go mow her lawn. I'd be like, why? Like, I never even talked to her before. Like, why I got to do all that? And then sometimes I would weasel my way out of it, not doing it. So then, like, when I started living with my dad at, like, a whole shot, because my dad is, like, the type of person, if you ask him something twice, he takes it as disrespect.
Pat
Yeah.
Mike
And he pop off quick. So it just, like, my first, like, three months living with him, I kept getting punched on. Like, he'd be like, go tell that lady. Like, he will make me go up to, like, older black women and just tell them, like, hey, you're beautiful. He was like, make me, like, get a flower. Take him to flower. He'll make me, like, go to that woman, take her groceries, put her groceries in the car. And, like, I used to ask, why? Because it should be weird. He, like, get out. Go get her groceries, Take them to the car. And I'm like. In my head, I'm like, she don't think I'm robbing her. Like, it's going to be awkward as hell. And for some reason, it worked every. I'd be like, thank you, young man. And like. But when I used to ask why, he used to punch me. And I, like, had stop asking why
Pat
for a long time.
Mike
I used to be like, why? I got. They used to wonder why I was
Carrie
always tears in your eyes.
Mike
I'm crying. And like, please, please let me help you with your groceries. He gonna kill me.
Carrie
The importance of fathers. Not the hitting part, I guess, but, you know, just the importance of having real dads teaching y' all responsibilities.
Pat
Yeah.
Carrie
I think that's definitely lost today, especially
Pat
just the respect aspect of things. Yeah, that'll take you far.
Mike
No, knowing somebody, like, having respect for somebody that, you know, like, every day you walk around your dad knowing that person is stronger than you.
Pat
Yeah.
Mike
And they can beat the out you at any time. And then, like, that's the first person you start to respect. It's just like, a person that can physically harm you. You know what I'm saying? That's why some people it. I ain't gonna get into all that.
Pat
Oh, they know it's not. Not you here.
Carrie
Yeah.
Pat
What's your thoughts on the. The Megan Clay situation?
Mike
Oh, yeah. We couldn't say.
Carrie
Oh, man. You know, it's very interesting. I would say. I personally don't understand why everyone's so invested. I'm gonna be very.
Pat
That is true, too.
Carrie
I. I really don't get why everyone's invested and.
Pat
But I also think they're invested because.
Carrie
Please tell me why.
Pat
I think they're invested because, one, they're fans of her, and if there's fans of Clay, but also because their relationship was on front street, everywhere. There was the. The. My man, my man, my man, the songs, everything. So it's like when something's like, not saying that she was throwing her relationship on her face, but it was very, like, out there with her relationship, which she has the right to do. So I think people felt like they were invested already. Like, you made me invested. You made me invest into this.
Mike
There was deposits.
Pat
Yeah.
Carrie
I just think it got really Weird, though. Like, I'm not going to lie to you. I saw this girl on Instagram or TikTok or something, and she was trying to do, like, witchcraft and voodoo on Clay because he cheated and stuff. I'm like, this is taking it too far. The men were taking it way too far.
Pat
Did you see that graphic that all the guys. Yeah.
Mike
Yeah.
Pat
That's crazy.
Mike
That was crazy graphic.
Carrie
I need to explain to me what's going on.
Pat
I think.
Carrie
I think the men today, I think
Pat
people just have that. Especially after that Tory situation. There's a lot of people that just don't like Meg.
Carrie
But you don't got nothing to do with that.
Mike
I know, but I don't think.
Pat
I think it. I think it's weird.
Carrie
It's very weird.
Pat
I think it's definitely weird. But I'm just saying that's the reason, like, they just have that hatred. You know, there's already a lot of people that hate women online and confident women at that.
Carrie
Right, right.
Pat
So especially when all that happened and obviously the themes was like, oh, she's lying and this and that, and they put somebody in jail for 10 years. Right, whatever. A lot of people still have that disdain for her. But I think that's just Twitter, though. To me. I don't know that anything outside of Twitter, I don't know.
Mike
Yeah, I don't think.
Pat
I don't hear that in real life.
Mike
Yeah. I don't think it stems from. I don't think everybody's in it for the Meg and Clay thing. Like, even the people that, like Meg's quote unquote haters, I think is more of people going at it personally with people within their communities. And then Meg and Clay is used as their example because it's just like, yes, okay. If you think about the Meg and Tory situation, like, not everybody. Like, if you take 100,000 people, maybe 10,000 of those people actually feel something for Meg or tory. The next 90,000 is more of like a gender debate. Like, should this be this, this, be that? And they use and Meg, like, oh, no. That's why they celebrate when something bad happened to me, because it's more of. I'm celebrating something bad happening to women. And it's kind of like the divide between men and women. It's like them hating each other.
Pat
Pat, you might be a prophet.
Mike
What happened?
Pat
This is what you said about the Meg situation nine months ago when the relationship started.
Mike
This.
Gene
Hold on.
Mike
I remember this me thinking of who Meg the Stallion is, even though I do see how they can Mesh a little bit, but me seeing Meg the Stallion and me seeing who Klay Thompson is, I just.
Pat
Me.
Carrie
You need proof, huh?
Pat
Yes. He didn't believe the relationship.
Mike
I don't. I didn't. I just don't. Like, I. I feel like one thing I know is about. I paid attention to, like, I love, love, like, I love different type of couples. I pay attention to couples when I'm around, like, first time ever seeing you and, yo, man, I paid attention to the dynamic.
Carrie
And how was that?
Mike
Straight to the dynamic. I'll let you know off camera. But, but, but, like, I paid attention to the dynamic, and I, like, got that down. I'm like, oh, this is this type of couple. Like, even if it's a new type of couple, I've never seen that type of couple. I've never seen last. It just, like, what?
Pat
Just a basketball player and entertainer.
Mike
It's not. It's not even a basketball entertainer. It's just, like, what Clay is into. Like, I think Clay loves to jump in and out of the public eye. I think he likes to get on his boat sometimes. I think he likes to pop his. But, like, overall, he's a private dude, and I think he just wanted something different because he's been private, and nothing like that has been working. So he went, like, outside the box and dated someone who, like, had some personality that he's never dated. He, like, man, I love this, like, look at everybody. Like, I got more eyes on me, which he does. And it's like, everything is going well, but then it gets to a point is, oh, now when I want to go back in hiding, I can't. I got all these people watching me. Like, when you date a Taylor Swift, Meg the Stallion, Cardi B, you got all their fans, they watch every move you do. Now I can't do, and I don't like that. And then now here comes, like, the real relationship stuff. This is when you find out if you actually like somebody in a relationship, it's like, we are going through a hard time, and you can actually evaluate that person. So, like, yeah, they probably, like, had a little, you know, she talked about, like, I did such and such for you. Like, they probably had a little rift. And now he can evaluate the relationship and be like, damn, that's too much.
Pat
But she left. She left him, though, for infidelity, right?
Carrie
Honestly, the way she put it on her story, a lot of people are saying that she probably left because he cheated. But how she worded it, it almost felt like she was saying, I'm leaving. Because now you're telling me you can't be monogamous.
Pat
Yeah.
Carrie
Like it's almost like she knew he was cheating already and kind of like was dealing with it. But now it's like, oh, all of a sudden you telling me you can't be monogamous now I gotta go. That's how it was worded to me.
Pat
Yeah. But also the thing that people are obviously in their business again is because that, that same story post about calling him a cheater and this and that. So it's just like you invite people because just for instance, maybe like they broke up. Right. And maybe it was just like just wrong timing type of thing. And they both kind of like did it respectfully and like bowed out that way. Yeah, I don't think it would be as much. But it's like the cheating aspect is because everybody. Meg is a really good looking girl. So it's just like everybody sees her as like, oh, I would definitely would if I had a chance with Meg. I would never do that. I had a chance with Meg. I would never do that. So like people are putting themselves in
Mike
place because you don't even know that person.
Carrie
Yeah, you don't know. And that's why I say it's getting weird. But also I had made a post that anybody can get cheated on. And yeah, anybody, anybody doing the cheating, they could be the most innocent person, innocent looking person. People thought Clay was corny and he a simp and he lame and all this other stuff. And they put it past him that he could be a cheater even though he's been known to cheat before.
Mike
Also like, also don't have a look calling somebody corny. Who's his dad was a Laker. So he grew up in la. LA has like some of the most beautiful women in the world. He's going to a basketball games all the time. And then he instantly grew up to be a star out of college and then also went to play in the NBA. And then you say you gonna put it past. He probably seen the most women in the damn NBA.
Carrie
Yeah, yeah, agree with that too. But I really real quick want to hit on the whole wnba. Lexi Brown.
Pat
Yeah.
Carrie
Because people are saying that Meg or Clay. Well, they're saying Clay should speak out. Anybody.
Pat
She said either one of them, either
Carrie
one of them should. And I agree with that.
Pat
Yes, I agree.
Mike
And well, can you catch me up?
Carrie
So the rumor was that WNBA player Lexi Brown was the reason why they broke up because somebody on Twitter put out a post saying that she Put in her close friends that she was messing with Klay Thompson, and that's how Meg found out. So now everybody start jumping on Lexi Brown. She kind of left it alone for a little bit, but it kept going. Couple days on, couple days on. And she finally spoke out and said, hey, why is nobody saying that? I have nothing to do with this. That was just a rumor. Because now she's getting death threats. She's fearing for her safety, for herself and her family. And so people in the comments were like, meg don't have to say nothing. You know, you need to clear it up or Clay needs to clear it up. But I 100% feel like Meg needs to clear it up or her PR team should clear it up.
Mike
Yeah.
Pat
Because.
Carrie
Because it's her safety at this point.
Pat
Because I think one of the things she said was, like, it's like, when it becomes to, like, protecting black women. And that's what she preaches. Like, it's. It's protect everybody, but. But me in that sense. Because she and Meg did have a PR team.
Carrie
Yeah.
Pat
Talk about the. The breakup until TMZ and stuff like that. So I think either one of them, at that point, it's just easy to be like, just leap. She has nothing to do with it. Even though I honestly, I don't think it would have helped much. I think it would probably help more coming from Meg than Clay, just because Clay is the guy in the situation. So a guy can be like, he
Carrie
didn't even stick up for himself.
Pat
But I'm just saying. That's what I'm saying. A guy could be cheating on, like, say it was actually true. Right.
Carrie
Yeah.
Pat
He could be like, she has nothing to do with it. Just to kind of save, you know, to be a gentleman and, like, save face. So I think it comes more from the woman who are accusing her fan base. Yeah. And that the fan base that will react to his. Meg's fan base that's doing it. So I think it's kind of like, on her to. Clay can do that.
Mike
Clay can do it too, though.
Pat
He can, but I don't. I don't think.
Mike
I mean, it would. Because even if it would, Clay can do it if he admits that he cheats. He cheated in the same sentence. Like, yes, I did step out on Meg the Stallion. Like, I'm sorry to her fans. I apologize to her. Like, I gotta work on myself then. I also. I'm just saying there's a path to a way to do it. You know what I'm saying? He definitely can do it. But also the reason. The reason why I think Meg is not. Didn't say anything about Lexi Brown because maybe she just don't know. Like, if. If you've been. If you've been cheated on. Like, bro, you paranoid about every thing you like, every rumor you like, why did the rumor even start? She probably like, why did the rumor even start Twitter.
Carrie
Exactly.
Mike
But sometimes, bro, Twitter be cooking sometimes, like, you know what I'm saying? And that 10 chance that is right. And then if I tell my PR team to go out and do that, she probably not speaking on nothing. She don't know.
Carrie
It reminds me.
Mike
I feel like she would have been. Came out and said something of that whole.
Carrie
You remember when like Kai and Gigi was going through it and Everybody was saying NBA YoungBoy has something to do with it and buying her a G wagon and it wasn't true. Started on Twitter. That stuff needs to be debunked. Like, I don't. Too many lies and false rumors and all that is going around and it's hurting.
Pat
Yeah. I think coming from Clay, it doesn't. It just won't hit in the streamer world.
Mike
Weird though.
Carrie
They are very weird because the streaming
Pat
word to me is still Twitter. To me, it's just that clipping culture and like putting things out of context. So I just think like the Lexi Brown thing, she probably has never even met Clay. I don't know. But like you said, it could be.
Mike
That's what I'm saying. But that's what I'm saying about Meg. Like, honestly, if you get cheated on, that means your partner was living a whole different life that you had no clue about. So every piece of information that is even floating around the Internet, you got to take with a little bit. She might not believe it all the way, but she not. It's not so unbelievable that she would come out and make a statement to protect Lexi. Especially if she knows that Lexi knows Clay. We also probably paranoid about all that.
Pat
We also don't know if Clay was even cheating. Like, we're just going to be cheating. Yeah. I'm just saying, like what he considers cheating and what she considers cheating could be like. Like, we don't. There's no details.
Mike
And we could have been just a tip.
Pat
Yeah. We said we want. We said we're gonna fuck, but we did it.
Mike
And I looked at you, my phone lit up. Espn and I'm like, damn, my girl. My screensaver. Let me take it out.
Carrie
I was tripping.
Mike
I was tripping.
Carrie
I was tr.
Mike
I hit you up right after I was done. No, but, yeah, I feel like, I feel like a pea brain for like even talking about that shit sometimes.
Pat
No, I feel it because it's very like, the reason we talking about it, obviously, is because she put it out there. Yeah. Like, once we knew they were in a relationship, I don't think we ever talked about their relationship after that.
Carrie
I did. I loved them together.
Mike
Yeah.
Pat
That's different.
Mike
I was on the boat because they were different. Right.
Carrie
I thought that they were in game. I'm not gonna lie. She was making him Thanksgiving meals and everything for the fam and.
Mike
Yeah, but she probably made. No, no offense to me saying she, but she probably. Whatever Clay was doing publicly and whatever she was doing publicly, they probably already did for other people. It was just a camera involved this time. Like, I'm sure Clay's not the first guy that she's met their family and cook for that.
Pat
And a lot of guys, A lot of guys do that too.
Carrie
I agree, I agree with that. I'm not going to lie. They were only together for like nine months, honestly.
Pat
For real.
Mike
And, and, and this was like, I. I want to put this.
Pat
It might have been together for a longer time because when Pat said that, that was nine months. Months ago.
Mike
Yeah.
Pat
They've been together a while, so it might be over a year.
Mike
Yeah.
Pat
Before going public.
Carrie
Oh, before going public.
Mike
Yeah.
Carrie
Okay.
Pat
Because we found out they were. They're in a relationship.
Carrie
Because wasn't she with party before that? Party?
Mike
See, I don't see it.
Pat
No, she's with the, the soccer player.
Mike
Yeah. That's where it get dicey at, you know what I'm saying? Like, I mean, I'm sure Clay was with somebody too. Yeah. But sometimes you date a person that forces you to go public. And I can see when I said that statement. I know Klay Thompson because I was a big LeBron James fan. So, like, they was playing the warriors every year. So that's a person I was paying attention to all the time. And I see his personalities and interviews and post game press conferences, and when a couple first got together, I was like, I don't know. And it's not even because of something's wrong with either one of them. I'm just like, this is like a very private person and this is a public person, which is okay if that public person wants to be in public by themselves and show off their significant other every once in a while. But, like, when this started, like, they, they couldn't have been dating that long before we saw him. In public right away.
Carrie
That's what. That's all I'm thinking like, bruh.
Pat
All right, that's your. Your Megan and Clay Thompson news for you.
Mike
And that's on. Period. All right, let's get back to some more misogynistic. They call me. They call this misogynistic. Like, bro. How am I misogynistic, bro?
Pat
Because sometimes we. We will say a joke in between, like, somebody's random ass. Take like, for instance, when the dude said, as a man, you shouldn't know your friend's birthday. And Pat was like, yeah, that's right. You shouldn't know. I should just be able to go outside and just see that you're drunk and be like, why are you drunk so drunk for. But people took that seriously because it was like, because there's new fans coming
Mike
from the basement yard podcast. But. But the thing is, it's just like, I. My job on a show is to amp the person up as much as possible. It's like a true serum.
Pat
Yeah.
Mike
You know what I'm saying? If he don't hear nobody in the background agreeing with him, he gonna stop. That's what you do. That's a very good social cue to have. If I'm talking and I'm saying something just like when I was just saying, like, something about making the stallion. I saw both y' all faces like, hell no. So you think I'm gonna keep going on the same point. I'm going on, like, everybody. Nobody in the room agree with you. Shut the up.
Unknown Male Guest 1
You know what I'm saying?
Carrie
Content.
Mike
But if. But if you get somebody to hype you up, like, hell yeah. Like, that's my job. And you can't take my. Out of context. Next person to take my sarcasm out of context. I'm killing them.
Pat
No, don't say that, bro.
Mike
But that's sarcasm. You know what I'm saying? It's like, obviously I'm not gonna kill you, but it's like, if you believe that, you about to be paranoid in a yo. Let's take a quick break from today's POD to thank the sponsor of the episode, Hellofresh. Look, it's midweek. I'm tired, hungry. All I want is a home cooked meal. But I've worked all day and I want to relax. But easy meals always come at the price of being repetitive. I never get to try anything new or adventurous. But now with hellofresh. With hellofresh, you can cook up bold flavors from around the world without ever leaving home.
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Mike
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Pat
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Mike
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Unknown Male Guest 1
What's up with the guys?
Mike
Why is he talking like that? What the.
Pat
You were highly requested to give your input on the Boston versus Sixers game.
Unknown Male Guest 1
Oh, was I? Man, we still you. I mean, we smoking that Boston pack right now.
Mike
There goes real voice right there. Yeah, I was wondering why he was talking like that.
Unknown Male Guest 1
We smoking that Boston pack right now. Yeah, we got them up in the air right now.
Mike
Okay. Okay. Yeah, Any. Any. A lot of people. A lot of people actually hit us up on Twitter asking if we could get an update on how you feel about Jason Tatum now. Because, you know, he just triumphantly came back from injury and actually did very well when he came back. He just came up a little bit short, so people want to get your insights on that.
Unknown Male Guest 1
Yo, pet, I triumphantly, bro. Like, why every time when you talk about bro, you always got to throw in some, like, great adjectives to, like, describe him bro. Like, I don't like that, bro. We. I mean, you're supposed to be my man, but you using all of these good words like champion. Triumphantly, like, I don't like that, bro. You ain't say nothing about my man triumphantly coming back from appendectomy. I'm gonna keep it a B. It's really still Jason Tatum, like, you know what I'm saying? Like, ain't nothing really changed. If anything, my hatred form has gotten even deeper because now it's like, that's my identity as the guy who hate Jason Tatum. Like, that's who I am inside, bro. And I'm gonna keep it as being. Ella May dropped the album earlier, and it's called do you still love me? And I'm like, are you talking to me now? It's like, no, no, no, no. I don't still love you. Yeah, it sucks because the album is good, and I know you talking about this handsome ass, bro. Like, and I don't like that, bro. He produced it, too. And he produced it. Oh, wait, you dropping. Wait, he produced it. So the. He triumphantly coming back from Achilles tendon injuries, and he's a music producer now. Mike is another reason for why I hate this, bro. I'M gonna keep it a bean.
Pat
No, but he didn't play that Game seven, though. Do you think Philly would have won if he was playing?
Unknown Male Guest 1
Actually, yes, I do think we would have won if he was playing. Because if you don't know about the team, the whole year, they played 80% of the season without him, and they were better before he came back. And then I don't want to hear about him not playing game seven because my man ain't played the first three games. So, like. Like, you can miss me with that.
Pat
Who's your man?
Unknown Male Guest 1
The Sixes is the wrong team to talk about injuries.
Pat
Who's your man?
Unknown Male Guest 1
That's like, our whole identity is injuries. So I ain't trying to hear none of that from any Boston fan, NBA fan, Jason Tatum sympathizer. Like, any of them. They can all go to hell.
Mike
What we classify as J. Tatum sympathizers,
Unknown Male Guest 1
you would classify as a Jason Tatum sympathizer. Mike, not so much, bro. Because every time he come up, you just got something great and shining to say about this.
Pat
I like Jason Tatum, by the way, but he can't.
Mike
He came back.
Unknown Male Guest 1
You good, bro.
Mike
That's a tough. But that's a tough thing. That's a tough thing to come back from. You got to give him a little
Pat
bit of credit as someone with Achilles injury. I. I empathize with him, too.
Unknown Male Guest 1
Okay, You. You can get that because you had to have the Achilles injury, but, Matt, you just doing it for the love of the game. I'm keeping. Like, it's not a good look, bro.
Mike
That's my dog, man. Hey, but I'm happy. I'm happy for the Sixers.
Unknown Male Guest 1
Call me Michael Vick. If that's your dog, I'm gonna keep it.
Mike
No, but shout out. Shout out to the 76ers for advancing and beating them. I know you're a Philly fan. Also, shout out to Paul George, because I start taking the same shit that he got caught taking. I feel amazing every day. I feel good.
Unknown Male Guest 1
I see why he risked them 25 games.
Mike
Like, it's definitely worth it. Y' all should get on that, man.
Pat
I'm not. Do you got. Do you got Philly winning at all?
Unknown Male Guest 1
We gonna. We gonna beat the Knicks. I'm saying the thing about the Knicks is, right, So I got season tickets to the games, to the Sixers games. The Knicks fans come down to Philly, like, this day, John. So we might have to. Really. You might see me on, like, some new phase, mixing the Knicks fan. I'm gonna Keep it a beam because I don't like how they be coming down. Like, I went to game four, they'd
Pat
be deep as hell in there, bruh.
Mike
They popped out to Milwaukee one day, I said, God damn them, do not play.
Unknown Male Guest 1
That's what I'm saying, bro. Like, and I don't like that. And they color's too close to ours too. So sometimes like, if you're not really paying attention, they could just high. You might wind up dapping the Knicks fan. Like, it happened to me before and I had to like scrub my left hand.
Pat
Like you shaking up with your left.
Unknown Male Guest 1
No, I don't be just dapping strangers with my right, you know what I'm saying? I gotta give them a little bit of disrespect, you feel me? So you get the left.
Pat
All right, bro. You got anything to shout out, though?
Unknown Male Guest 1
Shout out. We don't miss. We coming back. Shout out. My boy Lionel, he doing his big one right now with all these movers company and I'm about to start playing content back up on my grand. Man, that's.
Unknown Female Guest 1
I'm.
Unknown Male Guest 1
I gotta. You know, I had to get my life right because the health is wealth and it's a lot of hatred in my heart. So I know I'm not living to 80, but I can at least do the 65 if I take care of myself a little bit better. You feel me?
Pat
I feel it. All right.
Mike
All right.
Unknown Male Guest 1
But your boy be easy.
Pat
All right, brother.
Mike
Yo, what's the word?
Unknown Male Guest 3
Not much, you know.
Unknown Male Guest 1
How you doing?
Pat
Why you sound so far away?
Unknown Male Guest 3
I got some AirPods in right now.
Mike
Yeah, yeah, take them cheap out. I'm just saying one second. We barely can hear you. It sound like we gotta rub a lamp to release a genie or some
Pat
sound.
Unknown Male Guest 3
Trapped me down.
Mike
He's free. What up, bro?
Unknown Male Guest 3
Not much. Just on my lunch break.
Mike
How you. Where do you work?
Unknown Male Guest 3
At work in retail right now.
Pat
Okay.
Mike
Like, what kind of retail though?
Unknown Male Guest 3
Like, North Face retail.
Mike
Oh, okay. Okay. All right. Question for you. What's something you want to change about yourself, but can't quite do it yet?
Unknown Male Guest 3
My relationship status. I've been single for like four years.
Mike
Okay.
Unknown Male Guest 3
Been. Been pretty dry, pretty rough with it. So.
Mike
Yeah.
Unknown Male Guest 3
Trying to figure that out, sort of.
Mike
It's crazy. What do you think?
Pat
What do you think is stopping you?
Unknown Male Guest 3
I don't know. Gone through like a couple, I guess, like mental things. Last couple years.
Pat
Okay.
Unknown Male Guest 3
Sort of like held me back a little bit. Also like putting on some medication that I. Or I was put on some medication that caused Me to gain some weight.
Pat
Okay.
Unknown Male Guest 3
Having. Haven't lost that yet and I don't know, just sort of been out of it. Also, I got on Hinge a couple times and I was getting no matches, so that.
Mike
That was little. Like, no matches at all?
Unknown Male Guest 3
No, I got some. I keep on downloading and, like, deleting the app, and then I get some and then, like, I had a good amount at one point.
Mike
You know, it's something wrong with something, so you factory reset it
Unknown Male Guest 1
about.
Unknown Male Guest 3
So turn it off and on again.
Pat
When you said, like, you've been. It's been dry for you. Are you trying, like, outside of, like, the. The dating apps, like, what is, like, your mental health stopping you from doing, like, going out to meet people, that type of stuff?
Unknown Male Guest 3
I'd say just with it, like, my, like, social interactions haven't been great, but I've been trying to go out more. Have there ever been my friends to go out?
Mike
Yeah, they have.
Unknown Male Guest 3
I used to be a super social guy. Like.
Mike
Like, what happened?
Unknown Male Guest 3
Good high school, college.
Mike
What happened?
Unknown Male Guest 3
I don't know. Post college, I. Well, I had, like. I ran into something end of college. Didn't know I was. Well, I didn't know I was bipolar and I had a manic episode. So. Yeah.
Mike
Did you lose friends because of that or something?
Unknown Male Guest 3
I wouldn't say I lost friends. I would say, like, acquaintances that weren't great friends or, like, you know, hearing their friends just didn't. Wasn't able to, like, reconnect with him that well.
Pat
Right, right.
Unknown Male Guest 3
Whereas. Whereas, like, my good friends stayed good friends. I had to end up, like, moving back home.
Mike
Okay. Okay, okay, okay, okay. Okay. Just. Just. Yeah, you kind of up what I wanted to do for you. Let's. Let's get you a dating profile out there right now. You know what I'm saying? Like, okay. And then let's see how you know the crew. We can help you up that dating profile. Maybe we'll throw a couple sentences in there, you know, so you can. So you can throw it on your hands, you know what I'm saying?
Pat
For your first picture, what was like, your first picture on Hinge? Is it like a selfie, a group photo, or just you type of thing?
Unknown Male Guest 3
It was. I switched it up, but it was
Pat
a selfie for a bit, like, chest up,
Unknown Male Guest 3
dressed up. Not really chest up.
Pat
Chest up.
Mike
He wanted to know if you took a fat boy picture.
Unknown Male Guest 3
Yeah, I guess it was chest up.
Pat
Okay. I feel like you gotta take the full body profile because. Because you don't want to ever feel like, someone was attracted to you for a certain thing, and then when they see you in person or they see other photos. So it's just like, some people are attracted to bigger people. Some people are not, you know?
Mike
Yeah.
Unknown Male Guest 1
Just.
Mike
Just let it all out.
Pat
Yeah.
Carrie
Yeah.
Mike
Even if you got to get it. What about a mirror selfie? Yeah. Okay. Even if you got to turn the phone sideways to get your whole body.
Unknown Male Guest 3
Damn.
Unknown Male Guest 1
I don't.
Mike
I just play. That was terrible. All right, what's. What's some of the things that you're saying in your profile? Like, how tall are you?
Unknown Male Guest 3
Six three, six four in Air Force One? How much you weigh right now? Like 235, bro.
Pat
What the.
Mike
You good, bro? It gotta be something else. Look, bro, I think you just. I think it's more of a confidence issue with you, bro.
Pat
So you think. You think you're on, like, the right steps, like, to get better, though? Because obviously you said bipolar, and obviously bipolar is a serious thing to. To deal with.
Unknown Male Guest 3
Yeah, Right now it's sort of just like up and downs or like, it's like, not like the, like, super snappy or whatever, like, mood change. It's just like, over time, getting, like, more hyper, more sort of depressed. But I'm on the right.
Pat
I feel like, when whoever you meet, just obviously be open with that type of stuff with them and just keep day by day, brother.
Mike
Yeah, I think it's not.
Pat
It's not gonna happen overnight. Swear it's not.
Mike
I also think it's a confidence thing. Like, you. You need to evaluate some competition around. You always tell people, like, I know they tell you not to and to, like, focus on yourself, but, like, actually pay attention to, like, some of these other guys out here and, like, like, what they're putting out. It's not like you got a job. You know exactly what's wrong with you, and you're working on getting that right. Man, a lot of women, a lot
Pat
of people don't even know. They won't admit they have something wrong with them and, like, not put in the work. So you're already on the right path. You're already trying to put the work to get better.
Mike
Oh, no. You up there, bro. Have some confidence in yourself. It just. Even the way you talk, like, all slouchy and pipe up. I ain't sorry, man. Apologize. This what you talking about, bro. Bro, like all that.
Pat
Tell Pat to shut the up one time, bro.
Unknown Male Guest 3
Tell him to shut the up.
Mike
Look, he asked for permission.
Unknown Male Guest 3
No, I didn't hear it.
Mike
Okay, so tell him to Shut the up. Shut the up.
Pat
There you go.
Mike
One more time. One more time.
Unknown Male Guest 3
Hey, shut the up.
Pat
Yeah, okay.
Mike
Yeah, he put a little twang. I thought. I thought you about to call me the nw. Hold on, man.
Pat
Hyped him up too much. You. You have a good one, bro. Hope everything goes good.
Unknown Male Guest 1
Oh, you guys, too.
Unknown Male Guest 3
All right, bro. Good one.
Pat
Peace.
Mike
I about to say shut the up,
Pat
yo. What it do? What it do?
Unknown Male Guest 4
How you guys doing?
Pat
Oh, pretty good, Pretty good. I got a question for you. What's something you want to change about yourself but. But can't quite do it yet?
Unknown Male Guest 4
Having homicidal thoughts about my girl's guy best friend.
Mike
Oh, I might have read his clip. I might have read his wrong. I'm not gonna lie.
Pat
You wanna harm your girl, your girlfriends.
Unknown Male Guest 4
I want to kill him.
Pat
Why?
Unknown Male Guest 4
Oh, where do I start? So first of all, though, like, she's all tight with this guy, whatever. And I'm trying to be cool, you know, in the past, I would have tweaked out, but I'm mature now. I'm a grown man now. We go out for a birthday dinner, right? First time meeting bro. He acts like he doesn't know who I am. That pissed me off, okay? That book, light as. And then doesn't talk to me the whole time, right? And they go around and her girlfriends are like, feeding her cake, right? Comes to him, he feeds her cake, purposely gets the biggest piece. And then he's like, deep, throwing her with this goddamn fork. And then he's like, oh, wait, one more, one more. It fell out. What the.
Mike
And she helped him put it back in.
Unknown Male Guest 4
Why are you deep throat my girl with cake? What the is wrong?
Mike
Did she help him put the cake back in?
Unknown Male Guest 4
I'm not gonna answer that. Him.
Gene
Did you feed her?
Unknown Male Guest 2
And then.
Pat
Yeah. Where are you in this equation?
Unknown Male Guest 4
I'm just sitting there, mad as, giving him death stares. He won't even look at me.
Pat
But why? Okay, why are people going around feeding your girl?
Mike
Nah, he a cuck.
Unknown Male Guest 4
This is some, like, traditional. Some, like, from their country also.
Pat
Traditional thing. Where's she from?
Unknown Male Guest 4
Yeah, well, it's. Her friend is from Guyana. Okay, but this motherfucker's not. He's like Middle Eastern. And on top of that, bro, we're in different cities.
Mike
Okay, what else? What else did he do? It can't be just this one moment. Let's move on.
Unknown Male Guest 4
That was pretty bad. He keeps taking pictures of my girl and tells me to move out the way he tells me to move, to take a picture of my Girl, first of all, where's.
Mike
Like, where's his. Does he have a girl that he's interested in? Like, what is he into? No, it's her.
Unknown Male Guest 4
He's. She's who. He's interested in this. And then, yo, so it comes to giving gifts, right? I'm not gonna lie. Like, I'm kind of up right now. I'm kind of poor, so. So my gift, it was. It was cool, right? He got her a 500 watch.
Mike
Oh, yeah. Like, has that have been confirmed? Like, that they've done something? Have they ever kissed or.
Unknown Male Guest 4
Allegedly not.
Pat
And how long has she known him?
Unknown Male Guest 4
Like, seven years.
Mike
How old is she?
Unknown Male Guest 4
She claimed 23. 24. 24.
Mike
Seven years. Okay. That's kind of. That's what. That. 17? Yeah. Like, that's kind of like, that's tough because. Because at that point. Because you just started talking to her, right?
Unknown Male Guest 4
Like, seven months ago.
Mike
So.
Gene
Yeah, it was your first birthday.
Mike
Yeah, but. Yeah, this is your first birthday. This is seven one. But. But. But what I'm saying is she was single before you, so she has seven years to be with him, and she didn't. And then she got with you.
Unknown Male Guest 4
So I could kill him and have zero remorse at all. I would not feel bad.
Pat
Let's not do the. The killing things. I don't.
Unknown Male Guest 4
I apologize.
Pat
I don't want them to use our stuff in a. In a Netflix documentary of, like, you saying you're gonna do some.
Mike
No, it's gonna be a Netflix documentary of Duke.
Unknown Male Guest 4
Yo, the Celtics.
Mike
It's gonna be a Netflix documentary of him killing you before you get to him. And. And he got the girl.
Pat
Have you, like, brought this up to her?
Unknown Male Guest 3
Hell, no.
Unknown Male Guest 1
No, no, no.
Pat
Have you brought this up to her?
Unknown Male Guest 4
Yeah.
Pat
What she say? Why'd you say?
Unknown Male Guest 1
Yeah, bro?
Unknown Male Guest 4
Because she, like, type defense. His actions. Like, what's the defense for? Like, deep throwing you with the cake. Like, if I can't explain it, yo, like, he did it twice. Like, he's not of that culture. And she's not either. Her one friend was. Oh, and he wanted to get himself all involved. Didn't say a single word to me, bro.
Pat
I will give you a little, like, Grace. It is weird that. That he didn't know who you were. And that's her best friend.
Unknown Male Guest 4
Well, he does know. That's the thing. Because I've seen him comment, like, he knows who I am. He was pretending not. It was on some disrespectful. I'm telling you, this shit's weird as hell. And the Celtics Okay, New York snacks.
Pat
I'm guessing you're from Philly.
Unknown Male Guest 3
Yeah.
Mike
Got a Philly cheese cup?
Pat
Nah, bro, honestly, why don't you just like, if, if she's doing that you don't tolerate in the relationship, why don't you just leave the relationship?
Unknown Male Guest 2
Friendship.
Unknown Male Guest 4
Because every other aspect, she's perfect. I've never met a girl like her in my life.
Mike
Yeah, but if, if she's perfect and she's her best friend, what does it matter? Oh man. But he literally. Bro, he literally deep throated in front of you and all you did was
Pat
get angry at us.
Unknown Male Guest 4
Well, like, she knows it's wrong. Like she agreed. Like, nah, that's weird. That's weird.
Mike
But like after she cut him off, now is wrong and weird.
Gene
Hey man, it might be your last birthday, man. First and last. Yeah, why not? Might not get to birthday number two.
Pat
I would say, like, obviously you seven months in, bro. Continue having the conversation with her. Let her know how you feel about it. And if she continues doing those things that you feel uncomfortable doing, that means she's just not the one for you, brother.
Unknown Male Guest 2
What's good?
Pat
What it do?
Unknown Male Guest 2
Chilling.
Mike
Okay, nice. I got a question for you. Oh no, I gotta get to it. My fault. OG where you work at, bro?
Pat
Work?
Mike
Who do I work at? Yeah,
Unknown Male Guest 2
I'm unemployed.
Mike
Oh, what, like how old are you?
Unknown Male Guest 2
I'm 25.
Mike
Like are you in between jobs or like actually unemployed?
Unknown Male Guest 2
Yeah, yeah, yeah, well, I coach high school basketball, but yeah, I'm looking for like a little part time to do along with it.
Pat
Okay, shout out to you, like, what,
Mike
what happened to your, like your last job?
Unknown Male Guest 2
That was ass.
Mike
So you left it without having another job lined up?
Unknown Male Guest 2
Yeah, I mean, I'm still coaching, but yeah, I just couldn't do it. I. I chose happiness over money.
Pat
Do you live by yourself?
Unknown Male Guest 2
I mean, I got a roommate.
Pat
Okay, I'm just. That makes sense then.
Mike
Okay. All right, I got a question for you. That's not good by the way. You should have kept your job. But you hear now it.
Unknown Male Guest 1
It's all right.
Mike
All right, we'll see. What's something you want to change about yourself but can't quite do it yet.
Unknown Male Guest 2
I gotta stop letting these women living my mind rent free.
Mike
Speaking of rent
Unknown Male Guest 1
facts.
Pat
But why you say that, bro?
Unknown Male Guest 2
Because I'll be going on these dates and be talking to girls and all I can think about it is, is the next link up and I'm like, bro, all they want is a free meal out of me anyway.
Pat
So like, why do you Think that,
Unknown Male Guest 2
you know, they just. They just get too much. Because, bro, that's how it is these days.
Pat
I'm just saying, like you said, you're thinking about the next link up, which doesn't sound like a terrible thing. Like, obviously, if you were feeling the person, you obviously want to hang out with them again. So what was like, did you hit them up and then didn't respond?
Unknown Male Guest 2
I feel like I'm not getting out what I put in.
Pat
What are you expecting?
Unknown Male Guest 2
Well, to see, that's my other problem is like. Like I'm a lover boy. So I think that every girl is the one. But I'm coming to a rude awakening. That's not the case.
Pat
You're still not saying anything that's happening on these.
Mike
I can sympathize with you a little bit, but we're trying to actually figure out what's actually happening on the dates. Like, give us an example of a date.
Unknown Male Guest 3
Well, see, it went wrong.
Unknown Male Guest 2
See, see, that's the problem. On the date, it seems like it's going all good, and then they. They ghost you for three days and then when it texts back after, so it's like, like, you know, they just be hard to read these days.
Mike
I think you're not.
Pat
I think maybe just not a vibe, bro.
Mike
Also, like, you know, damn. When people say stuff is like, hard to read, like, okay, if I give a toddler a book, right, I give him a Harry Potter book, the toddler would be like, hey, this is hard to read, but it's really because the toddler can't read like that.
Unknown Male Guest 2
Damn.
Mike
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Pat
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Mike
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Pat
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Unknown Male Guest 2
It's just. It's just my own problem. Okay.
Mike
I feel if you keep running into the same. Like if you're getting ghosted after a date and then you think the date went so well, like, you're not. You're not paying attention, you're probably right.
Pat
Nah, I would say more than likely right.
Gene
Where are you taking them, man?
Pat
Yeah, where are you taking? That's a good question.
Unknown Male Guest 2
My go to is usually like a little mini golf date for everyone. No, no, no, no, no. Either like mini golf or just a dinner.
Pat
Normal girl.
Unknown Male Guest 2
Girls like going on walks and getting coffee and I don't drink coffee, but
Pat
like, but that sounds like very like. I'm not saying like you're not like blowing a bag on any of these things.
Mike
So it's like he ain't got no job. Yeah, everything a bag that coffee his pockets up.
Pat
I say that to say that you. You said like women be using you for like going on dates for free meals and like that. Like if you're doing mini golf and
Mike
I'm like this paying 750, maybe that's why. And for some matcha and complaining, bro.
Unknown Male Guest 2
Yeah, maybe. Maybe it's because I'm too cheap.
Mike
What's it like? Okay, so my thing is, when are they ghosting you? Are they ghosting you as soon as the date is over or you're just not getting a text back back the next day? Nah, it's.
Unknown Male Guest 2
It's more. I'll get a text back but then, you know, just kind of fade away.
Mike
But I think that's. I think that's a you thing. Especially in like this new dating world everybody's offering. Like that little. That little ass date you put together is probably cool for the first day, but like, if you put something little like that together, the girl expects you to come back way harder after she didn't gave you.
Unknown Male Guest 2
Yeah, I gotta step my game up. Okay. Okay. Yeah.
Pat
Where you meeting these, like, in person apps? Internet?
Unknown Male Guest 2
Yeah, usually just like through social media. I don't really do the dating apps.
Mike
Okay, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait A minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. No, this.
Unknown Male Guest 2
What's the problem?
Mike
We up, Mike.
Pat
Whatever.
Mike
This is what he's supposed to change. This is like, he broke as. Like, you don't need to go on no dates. You don't need to talk to no women until you find a job. First of all. No, really, that's not the time.
Pat
I'm not broke.
Unknown Male Guest 2
Don't play me. I'm not, bro.
Unknown Male Guest 1
Broke.
Pat
Well, but you don't have a job. Like, even if I didn't have a job right now, I would have to lock in and do my. You know.
Unknown Male Guest 2
Yeah, I mean, yeah, I feel you, but I'm still getting paid for coaching, so it's not like I'm dead ass getting no income.
Mike
What high school you work at img. Like, what the. You're not getting paid that much, bro. I used to coach high school basketball.
Unknown Male Guest 2
I mean, yeah, but I'm still getting paid and I still got money, so. I mean.
Mike
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Gene
Mini golf money. You got mini money?
Unknown Male Guest 2
I do got mini golf money.
Pat
Bag.
Unknown Male Guest 3
Bag.
Pat
Wait.
Mike
Mini bag. Yo,
Pat
everybody goes through, like, some type of financial struggle in life, but we're trying to say, like, why you're going through the luck. The. No. Not having a job. And I. You can say you have money, but you might not have money for long is what we're trying to say. And you're going on all these dates and like that. So work on yourself. Find a job, and then, you know, just better yourself. And you're probably going to be better for the woman that you. You're meeting.
Mike
Like, bro, I'm just being real with you.
Pat
The.
Mike
The women I know, if they went on a date with you, no matter what the vibes are, the only thing they can remember you saying is, I'm a high school basketball coach. Because they trying to figure out where the is your money coming from.
Unknown Male Guest 1
That's valid.
Pat
You head coach.
Unknown Male Guest 2
I got much to say.
Mike
No, you like, you top, but you at least top assistant for varsity, though.
Unknown Male Guest 2
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Mike
Okay, so that's like.
Pat
But that's like, how many assistants are there?
Unknown Male Guest 2
It's probably just gonna be me.
Mike
Okay, That's a.
Unknown Male Guest 3
It.
Mike
Just like, listen, you. You gotta go get. You got. Obviously, we love that you love what you're doing. I support that. I support any coach going out there and getting it and seeing if they really got the talent to rise to the next level. But you need a job to support that. That's part of the game of being high school. Coach, Every coach know that. That mean you gotta bust. That's what I earlier you talking about. You left your job because it was ass. No, Sherlock is ass. But it's funding the lifestyle that you're trying to have to be a coach. So you're not even putting in hard work and then you coaching. How supposed to believe in you? If I knew that and why I was one of your players and you was telling me, run faster, I'll look at you like, man, shut your broke ass up. Real, man. I'll be talking to the head coach like, why is this broke ass telling me?
Unknown Male Guest 4
Come on.
Pat
He told me to give effort, but he won't give effort to find a job.
Mike
Levi, on God, man. Telling me, telling me to get out on the break. Do you know what a break is?
Pat
N, Bro, hold on. Lock in though, bro. You got it, bro.
Unknown Male Guest 2
I got you.
Mike
No more dates, bro. Stop spending money on women. That's not even.
Pat
Yo, what it do?
Mike
What's the word?
Unknown Male Guest 1
What's going on with y', all, man?
Pat
I'm chilling, podcasting. I got a question for you.
Mike
This person.
Unknown Male Guest 1
Yeah, okay.
Pat
What's the most down bad thing you've ever done?
Unknown Male Guest 1
Man, the most down bad thing I've ever done was still the need to get my girl pregnant after we argue.
Mike
What y' all argue about?
Unknown Male Guest 1
That just be about little, like, you know, when there's, like, relationships, you'll butt head over the littlest things. But. But I just be having this, like, need to just want to, like, put a baby inside of her. I don't know.
Mike
You think she gonna leave you or something?
Pat
Trying to trap her?
Unknown Male Guest 1
I mean, I ain't gonna lie. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's one of them. That's one of them. Feel me, cuz? Like, what if she get mad or some and then want to leave? No, I know she won't.
Pat
Don't do that, bro.
Unknown Male Guest 1
I know she won't, but, like, how old are you? Me? I'm 21. Oh.
Pat
Oh, my gosh.
Mike
How long y' all been together?
Unknown Male Guest 1
About a year.
Mike
Oh, man,
Unknown Male Guest 1
I ain't gonna lie to y' all boys. Check me out, though. The first time I saw her, like, I got the need to, like, want to film me get her pregnant. It was nuts. I've never felt this way. I don't got no kids, no nothing, but the first time I saw her, I just want to, like, reproduce. I don't know what.
Mike
Have you ever brought this up to her?
Pat
Oh, yeah, what she say?
Mike
So look what you got us on.
Unknown Male Guest 1
No No, y', all.
Mike
My AirPods take them cheap off.
Pat
We're gonna echo.
Mike
Everybody got them. Cheap ass. I think Steve Jobs was alive when these AirPods came out.
Unknown Male Guest 4
Y' all can hear me?
Pat
Yeah, you might hear yourself, but it's fine now. You're good. So you brought this up to her and what happened?
Mike
Oh, yeah, I brought it up to her.
Unknown Male Guest 4
And, I mean, she don't think it's crazy.
Unknown Male Guest 1
She want my kids, too, so I can't even blame her. But the only thing is, she turns 21 in July, so she want to go out and have a good 21 birthday. This and that. I ain't gonna lie. After she turned 21, I think it's gonna be up.
Pat
I mean, both of you guys are in agreement with that, Then it's like, do your thing. I would say, obviously, wait a little bit longer, because you guys are still
Mike
young, but, hey, I'm gonna just be real, bro. Like, the energy you giving me, if. If she not already trying to have a baby and you talking about a baby, she gonna leave your ass eventually. Because it sound like you kind of like you overbearing, and you'll do anything to make the relationship work, even if it means, like, not being your full self.
Unknown Male Guest 1
Well, look, the relationship is perfect. Like, we hardly argue, but the times we argue, it's just like, my sperm is just, like, swimming, like, ready to jump out to her.
Mike
Yeah, you not you not it, bro.
Pat
You need to, like, you got argument king.
Mike
Yeah, you need to.
Unknown Male Guest 4
You said argument king sound like it
Mike
need to be castrated.
Unknown Male Guest 1
I never heard nothing like that, man.
Gene
Let her live her life, man. She about to be 21.
Mike
Please don't ruin that. Please don't ruin. Yeah, yeah.
Unknown Male Guest 1
Yo.
Unknown Male Guest 4
Yo, Jean, you fire, bro.
Unknown Male Guest 1
You look like Lloyd, but you fire.
Mike
Said you fire. Getting horny again. He damn sure did get off on that argument. He was arguing with us and said, oh, Gene there too freaky, bro.
Pat
All right, man. You have a good one, bro.
Mike
Stay off your girl, bro. Let her live.
Unknown Male Guest 1
Hey, bro, I just want to let y' all know, y' all fire. Y' all the hardest in the podcast game right now. I really with y', all, man.
Pat
I appreciate that, man.
Mike
Like, crazy choice of words.
Pat
I appreciate you, bro. You have a good one.
Mike
Yo, what's the word?
Unknown Female Guest 1
Not.
Mike
You sounded a little down before we got on the phone. You just. That little ass. Hello. You gave us. What's word?
Unknown Female Guest 1
I'm high.
Mike
Us two. Oh, shit.
Pat
I feel that.
Mike
Oh, shit. You was partying last night.
Unknown Female Guest 1
Hell, yeah. I'm In Charlotte. I just. I just was at y' all podcast, like, last week.
Mike
Oh, damn, damn, damn, damn.
Pat
You enjoyed the show. I appreciate.
Mike
What was your favorite part when y'
Unknown Female Guest 1
all was answering them questions? I should have got there in time to write some questions. Some of them questions like, I feel it.
Pat
I got a question for you. What's something that people enjoy? What's something that people pretend to enjoy?
Unknown Female Guest 1
Like I said, oral sex. It should be like. Like, damn, in your mind. It's like, I'm sucking his dick. But I really don't want to do this right now. Why? He asked me. Can we try this again later? Type shit.
Mike
You in a relationship. So you talking about your man specifically, in general? No, no, that word don't work here. I'm sorry. You talking about your man specifically, specifically, not in general. Because in general, it's like you saying, like, other men, too.
Unknown Female Guest 1
Well, yeah. Cause, I mean, he's not the only dick I sucked in life. Like, I'm just speaking in general. Like, all the times that I did it, it was just like, this is not really it, but I'll do it also.
Pat
You just. You just don't enjoy doing it.
Unknown Female Guest 1
I guess I gotta be in the mood.
Pat
I feel like that's with anything, though, right?
Gene
Yeah, like, hungover and like.
Pat
Yeah. Try to. Try to dig with cotton copy.
Unknown Male Guest 4
Rough.
Carrie
Oh, I have. It's horrible.
Unknown Female Guest 1
Hold up.
Unknown Male Guest 1
Wait, let me get something to drink.
Mike
No, it's crazy. Y' all really vibing over dick sucking.
Pat
But no, give that a little bit.
Mike
A dick would be crazy. The saliva man. No, but that doesn't mean that you think it's overrated. That just means that you don't like doing it as much.
Unknown Female Guest 1
No, I don't.
Mike
So you get.
Unknown Female Guest 1
So I'm guessing, like, doing it either as much.
Mike
What you mean doing what? You gotta. You gotta specify. Oh, yeah, I enjoy it. Like, I, like, purely enjoy it for the sport of it. It, like, so.
Unknown Female Guest 1
So you could have your ratings, so people could talk about you.
Mike
People could talk.
Pat
No.
Mike
What the are you talking about?
Pat
But you don't, like. You don't. You. You don't get, like, turned on by your partner being pleasured.
Unknown Female Guest 1
Okay. Yeah. When I'm in a mood. Yes. This is fun. It's a sport. Like, I'm do my big one.
Pat
Okay.
Unknown Female Guest 1
It's just like, he asked me to do it as a girlfriend. I'm not gonna say no, but it's, like, in the background.
Mike
I just feel like. I just feel like it is. I should feel like you should when
Unknown Female Guest 1
you're in a full time relationship. Yeah, it is.
Mike
I should feel like. I feel like you should be more honest about that then. And I don't think you'll get asked as much.
Unknown Female Guest 1
Well, when you do a good job at what you do, you're gonna get asked like, hey, you want to do it again?
Mike
Is this. Is this an ad?
Pat
So you haven't, like.
Gene
I mean, she's probably worried that something happened. Like, if she don't do it, then.
Mike
Then somebody else will. Is that your other thing is fear?
Unknown Female Guest 1
No, it's just because it's like, even if I say no, he gonna come back and ask again. So it's like, I might as well get it over and done with.
Mike
Over and done.
Pat
So there's nothing that he can do to get you into it in those moments? Maybe try to explain that to him.
Unknown Female Guest 1
You know, When I'm into it, I'm into it, but when I'm not, it's like, I'm gonna do it just to make sure he's satisfied. You feel me?
Mike
Like, I guess. I guess the thing. The thing we're trying to ask you is, like, is there some. Because a lot of people do these acts, even if they don't enjoy it because their partner is giving them something they enjoy, like can he pick up more around the house? Or, you know, maybe pay a little bit extra on the bills, you know, bring you some flowers. Like, what can he do? Do to, like, make sure you're not as miserable doing it if you're gonna do it anyways.
Unknown Female Guest 1
It's not even like, I'm miserable. I really just be like, sometimes I don't want dick in my mouth type,
Mike
like, you must not be around. You're just looking for somebody to complain to. We got you, though. We're gonna let you get it from
Unknown Female Guest 1
this right in front of me.
Pat
Whoa, whoa. Really?
Unknown Female Guest 1
Yes.
Mike
He probably. He waited to get his dick sucked,
Unknown Female Guest 1
get off the phone, Both hung over. We both hung over. We didn't even get to do all that last night.
Mike
Oh, no, he. He pissed. I don't like. That's why he looking at you like that.
Pat
He can't wait till you get out the phone.
Mike
Can you get a phone to him?
Unknown Female Guest 1
Gonna come. You want to get a phone to him? You want to talk on the phone? Come get it.
Pat
Yo, yo, yo, what up, yo?
Mike
What's the word, bro?
Unknown Male Guest 2
What's up, man?
Unknown Male Guest 1
We just seen y' all Wednesday, man.
Mike
You ain't getting no ahead last night.
Unknown Male Guest 1
I ain't even tripping, gang. I was too we were too up. It's all. It was over with.
Pat
No, I feel it.
Unknown Male Guest 1
We got home. It was over.
Pat
So, honest. Honest question. Do you feel like you're asking for too much ahead?
Unknown Male Guest 1
Hell, no, I don't. What the hell? What would you say get enough around this? I. I eat more coochie than I get head.
Mike
Oh, no, no.
Unknown Male Guest 1
That's how I got truth. I wish you told y'. All.
Mike
We should have known when she told you to come get it that you were just in there eating box with no reward. What's his reward?
Unknown Male Guest 1
But sometimes. Sometimes. Look, she don't even know. Sometimes I be. I be feeling she don't want to do it. She just want her coochie age. She just wants some dick. That's it. I be. I don't do. I've been my girl long enough. I can peep on that type of vibe. You can tell us she don't feel like doing it.
Mike
She down there. She down there scrolling on Twitter while she doing it. And you like that. You got into it.
Pat
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Unknown Male Guest 1
I ain't saying, like, she literally scrolled Twitter, but you can tell, like. Like, I think vice versa. She can tell me, too, when I don't feel like doing that.
Mike
Oh, okay.
Pat
So y' all seem like y'. All.
Mike
Y' all very transparent like that. Sound like y' all got it down.
Unknown Male Guest 1
Yeah, but that's. That's the key of being with somebody for so long. So. Yes, you just kind of just like, just. You just know how to just deal with. You know what I mean?
Mike
Yeah, yeah. Yes.
Unknown Male Guest 1
I mean, that's what she's really saying. She really saying, like, sometimes she know I don't want to eat, and I do it. Sometimes she suck digging out and. And you know what I mean? She don't want to do it.
Gene
So have y' all tried scheduling it? Like, so, you know?
Unknown Male Guest 1
Nah, we a. We, too.
Mike
We? Yeah, we.
Unknown Male Guest 1
We young nobody. 26. I ain't scheduling no some old.
Mike
I look like scheduling. That. That. That turn that. The. All this schedule. How long y' all been together?
Unknown Male Guest 1
Together for six years.
Mike
Y' all got kids?
Unknown Male Guest 1
Yeah, three year old. She'd be three and May.
Mike
Oh, y' all good, man.
Unknown Male Guest 1
Come on, man.
Mike
You better take that head when you can get it.
Unknown Male Guest 1
That's what I'm saying. Yeah. I don't be tripping, okay.
Pat
Hey, we not definitely not tripping.
Mike
Ain't nothing out there in them streets for neither one of y'.
Carrie
All.
Mike
Cause they ain't eating boxes sucking dick out there either. Stay with Each other.
Unknown Male Guest 1
Yeah.
Pat
All right, bro.
Mike
Yeah.
Unknown Male Guest 1
We locked in, gang.
Mike
Yeah, stay locked in. We'll see y' all soon.
Unknown Male Guest 1
I appreciate it, bro.
Pat
I appreciate you, bro.
Unknown Male Guest 1
That was little on. On Wednesday.
Pat
No, I appreciate you, bro.
Unknown Male Guest 1
Thanks for pulling up myself.
Mike
We'll see you soon, bro.
Pat
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Unknown Male Guest 1
Well, next tour, I'm there.
Mike
Yes, sir. Okay. Tweet of the week. Okay. This tweet says, you ever refer to someone as, like, saying, like, yeah, whatever, and they say, I'm not black. That is racist as hell to me.
Pat
I get what you mean. Yeah, Like, I kind of get it. That is because, you know, I'm not saying to you because I'm calling you a black or something like that. I'm saying it as a. Trying to think of the. Is it a adjective? It's not even a term of endearment. It's just like, bro. No, I'm saying in an argument, and you'd be like, argument. Like, what's different?
Mike
What if I'm arguing with my teammate and he's just like, bro, you supposed to block over here. It's like, I'm supposed to block over here. And he said, I'm not black. And he stor him off. Yeah, like, what? Like, what the is you talking about? The comment says, they really be ready to tell you I am not a.
Pat
That wasn't that bad.
Mike
But I feel like they're using that as a way to get to that.
Carrie
It's just like, that's what they're saying.
Mike
I literally had a dude when I was in Charlotte. It was, like, a Puerto Rican dude. And I used to, like, get on him about saying n word because we're like, where I was from at the time in Pontiac, nobody that was Hispanic was saying that, like, where I was from. And he kept saying it, and he was like, bro, I'm not even saying. I'm not even saying. And I was just like, bro, look, you're doing it again, bro. Like, what the is that? I'm just like, people do that too. Like, they'll repeat what you said. It's like, who you calling the.
Pat
I wonder how actors feel sometimes. I think who's in Django Leo? He was saying how he struggled to. To say. To say the word word during the shoots. And. And he said. I think he said, well, Samuel Jackson was in that movie, right? Yeah, I think he said, Samuel's just like, just say the word.
Carrie
It gotta be awkward.
Pat
It gotta be.
Gene
No, he had to practice that.
Pat
Yes. You have to practice, and you have to say it convincingly. Racist. Like you have to say like a. You're not saying it with Endearment at all. You're saying it as racist as possible.
Mike
What's the other dude name that said it? Harry Potter said it too. What's his real name?
Unknown Male Guest 1
Name?
Gene
Daniel Rat.
Mike
Daniel Ratcliffe? Yeah. Where he was playing. No. Yeah, he. He was playing like a racist dude in a movie and then he was like, something, something, and he said, r er.
Pat
Daniel Ratcliffe said that?
Mike
Yeah, bro, I've seen that before. Look it up. If I said it, it got to be true. Daniel Ralph said the N word. But it was for a movie, though. Yeah.
Pat
Yeah, for sure.
Carrie
If somebody says that to you who is non black, do you correct them on the spot?
Gene
Not.
Mike
Whoa, say what?
Carrie
Like call you say the N word to you?
Mike
Yeah, I mean, like. I mean, if you're in a neutral setting. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? I'm not on the. I'm not on the. In a tough part of LA telling Hispanics they can't say the N word. You know what I'm saying? Like, I'm not the N word police, but like, if we in a setting, like, yeah, I'm damn sure. I'm damn sure gonna try to correct them as much as I can. Am I willing to go to jail for it? We'll see.
Unknown Male Guest 1
Not.
Mike
I mean, it's just like, it has to be like a respect thing.
Carrie
I got a question for y'.
Pat
All. Go ahead.
Carrie
So, you know the Michael movie just came out, right? Have y' all seen it at all?
Pat
No, no, I don't think I'm gonna watch it, to be honest.
Carrie
We'll get to that in a second. But the people who have been going to these shows, they're dressing up in cosplay, doing the whole Michael thing, but they're getting up during the movie and like dancing during the movie during the scene.
Gene
I feel like that's only okay if you're black.
Mike
Like.
Carrie
Yeah, they were. They were for sure. But I feel like that's so rude. Consider it.
Pat
It depends what the song is, though. If it's be.
Gene
I. I don't know if I can
Pat
stay seated for beating, but I'm just saying it's hard not to sing along. Cuz that's already, like, if. If you're.
Carrie
You can sing along.
Pat
Yes. It's hard not to sing along, but there's also the people that sing along that get really into it. Michael Jackson is not really sit down music.
Carrie
I get it, but this is not your chance to go down there. To the front the screen and start doing.
Pat
If you're blocking the screen. If you're blocking the screen, you shouldn't be.
Carrie
That is rude. Yeah, sit down. I'm sorry, I can't take. I get it. We want to dress up. Be Michael Jackson. He's amazing. But don't get your butt up in front of me and start dancing and going up and down the aisles doing performance.
Pat
But what is. They're good at it though.
Gene
Clips though.
Unknown Male Guest 1
If they can.
Pat
I'm not gonna lie, if they can really moonwalk and they moonwalk in, in sync with Michael Jackson, I might let
Mike
him have that, bro. I'm, I'm a movie watcher though. I'm, I'm looking at every deep. I'm trying to catch details that other people might not see. Like when Michael Jack's performing. I'm looking at, at how they had Jermaine portrayed or, or Joel, how Joe was looking like, oh, did you see Joe facing that one scene in it? Such and such. Like, I don't need to smell some Bengay coming down the aisle doing this fake ass moonwalk. It's not the real moonwalk.
Pat
What if he was elite though, huh?
Mike
No, sit the down. I'm trying to watch a movie, bro. Because if I get up,
Pat
it's gonna start a dance battle.
Mike
Let's go. Let's, let's, let's reenact that Pepsi Commerc. Hair on fire. See if you're the real Michael.
Pat
I don't think I want to see it. I'm not going to go to the theaters to see it. Let me rephrase what I said. I feel like I've seen enough people saying they went to saw it and there was nothing new they learned.
Gene
I'm also not going if they're doing that.
Pat
And then I think I just, I think it's one of those movies where I know it's going to be out on like on streaming very soon. So I'm like, I just rather watch it at home and not be like the anticipation of like watching it like, like with people dancing and dressed up and stuff like that.
Mike
Yeah, I'm not, I'm not with that. I've been with Mike for 30 days. I think I'm Nigerian now. You so out of that world. You never heard that song before?
Pat
Have any more tweet?
Carrie
Who song was it?
Mike
Don't worry about it. You not going to get that song. Oh, another tweet of the week. Only black people will make fun of you for being prepared. This got gloves that is true, bro.
Pat
That is so true.
Mike
No, I let, I let somebody bully me out of wearing a scarf one time. They're like this pack out on a scarf, feels like a blizzard. I took my off, my neck was up. God damn, I needed that.
Pat
That might be the reason why like this the stereotype of black people always late to things. But probably the first person that was like on time for started getting bullied for that. Yeah, like why are you the first one here?
Mike
No real shit, bro.
Pat
But I do the thing where like I'll get there early, early, but I'll sit in the car until people start walking in. Like I have to like see like at least like five people walking in. So I'm not the first one there.
Mike
Nobody trying to be the first one.
Carrie
They're gonna have you set up.
Mike
Yeah,
Pat
that's Bro, that's happened at a Nigerian party. Nigerians are criminally late to things, right? Especially like part events. If it's 5 o', clock, that is starting at like 7. I mean, sorry, starting at like 10 o'.
Unknown Male Guest 1
Clock.
Gene
That's wild.
Pat
I've gone to a thing, an event where you start seeing like, like people still setting up the table, skirts and like that, putting the flowers on the table, food not even there yet. And, and it's 6:30, it's 30 minutes before this shit's about to start. It's like, bro, yeah, you like started to help set like you said. I've done the, I've done the help set up, I've grabbed the drinks and put inside the cooler. Let's speed this up.
Carrie
I ain't doing this no more.
Mike
I remember my dad was trying to teach me how to be cool and he used to get mad because I wanted to go to the party right when it started and he refused to like take me to the party to really be arguing. He'd be like, because the party started at 7, end at midnight in high school. And I'd be like, bro, I'm trying to get to the party at 6:45. They could be like, hell no. I used to be in that damn near tear life. I'm just trying to get to the party.
Carrie
You want to have as much fun.
Mike
I was like, it's only going to leave me three and a half hours. That's what, that's what I to do.
Pat
That's why it's kind of hard for me to go to a club sometimes because don't be trying to get there till like 11, 12 o' clock sometimes. And, and here the club closes at 2, right?
Carrie
Yeah, that's.
Pat
I'm. I get it from a standpoint, like two hours of partying is more than enough, man.
Carrie
But more than.
Pat
But if there's no pregame and just like we're going to just meet here at 12 o', clock, I'm in bed, bro. I thought to go out last night and it was like I didn't get hit up to like 10:30. I was like, bro, it's over.
Mike
Yeah, I don't, I don't, I can't do that because that means that I have to get high or drunk in a very short amount of time. And now I'm shoulder bumping. I just like, I just feel like too friendly in here.
Carrie
The more time you need to prepare for something like to go outside, you
Pat
need, you need something to get you jump started. Some. Something chill. Especially if you're going to go to something hype, you got to do something chill first. You can't go like hype hype because your battery is like, I don't know about. Maybe the younger people, they listen to us. They, the younger like below 25, they might.
Mike
I like hype hype though.
Gene
I don't raw dog the nightclub for sure.
Mike
Yeah, I'll still raw dog a nightclub, but like preferably not though. Yeah. The one thing I know I'm getting old is like if I get rushed out and I'm missing one item of like my attire that I would have had if I was able to take my time, my night's ruined. I'm like, I could be chilling and just be like, man, I forgot my bracelet cuz these ass rush me out the house, you know. I mean, I can't even have a good time. Two songs and ain't nobody talking to me.
Pat
Cuz I ain't got on my bracelet. My thing is my earrings. Like I feel so bad when I forget my earrings automatically. That's like I feel so naked. I'm like, you start seeing the light hit you and your not shining the way it used to.
Mike
I ain't gonna lie. Nobody doing these I think about, I would sacrifice to have that item.
Pat
Yeah.
Mike
But I'm just dead ass serious. Like, like let's say you had like a genie and you like if I was at a club and I didn't have any earrings and I forgot them and I was like, oh, I ain't got nothing. And a genie came to me like, hey man, man, if you give me your underwear, I'll get you your earrings. I rather free ball in that. You know what I'm saying for my
Pat
earrings in the club, until you got a.
Carrie
In a hot, sweaty, dangly clothes until
Mike
somebody see you at the urinal, they. Hey, why you.
Pat
I was saying. I was thinking. I was thinking socks.
Carrie
What is happening?
Pat
I was thinking socks. I was thinking socks, too, but they Sometimes when you're sitting down in, like, the booth, like, your socks kind of show up if your pants aren't, like, super long and you don't want to be, like, bare ankles looking like an African dad.
Mike
No, that's. That's definitely something. Yeah. Jewelry. I would definitely, like, sacrifice something like that for him, but, yeah, that too crazy.
Carrie
I just saw you in a jewelry ad ad.
Pat
Me?
Carrie
Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, with the colorful ones. I like that.
Mike
Yeah.
Pat
Homozoro.
Carrie
Yeah, that was a good ad.
Pat
All right. You gotta cut that. I said the name wrong.
Mike
I was like, wait, what?
Carrie
I'm like, hold on. Y' all not cool no more.
Unknown Male Guest 1
Okay.
Mike
Oh, what the. Okay. This for all of us. I like that we all around the same age edge. If you ate out of the Easy Bake Oven, you'll be gone by 45.
Carrie
I saw that one, and I said, dang, that was definitely me.
Mike
Now I'm cooked, though. You know how many brownies I ate out that we didn't care what the ingredients was? Man, I ain't give a man. All right, last tweet of the week. This is a text thread. A guy hit a woman up late, and her first response is, I'm in a relationship now. Now. The guy responded, damn, I understand. I hope he knows what he has. She responded, and what is that? He responded, a certified black queen. Beautiful, intelligent, and motivated. If he doesn't know, I know, and I'm here waiting. He then respond. He took his girlfriend's phone. So the girl gave the phone to her boyfriend, and her boyfriend responded to the dude and said, nah, this her boyfriend. But damn, my G. That shit it. There was five. I need to step my game up, cuz. You coming. That is funny.
Pat
Stop bigging them up in that moment.
Mike
You is coming is crazy, bro. Oh, my God. Oh, and last thing. As a grown man. Okay, as a grown man, should you ask someone their opinion on what you're wearing and how it feels fits you? And I'm saying that because, like, we'll go shopping, like, together a lot. And now actually, like, your opinion is, like, the last deciding factor.
Pat
Yeah.
Mike
Does this shirt fit like, how I told you? I like my shirts?
Pat
Yeah.
Mike
And it seems, like very, like. Like, when I think about it from the outside, Looking in, it seems like very, like, damn, why he asking him that? But, like, when. At the time it's happened, I'm like, nigga, what else would I do?
Pat
Yeah.
Mike
You know what I'm saying?
Pat
There's been times where I've told Pat to try something on because I'm not at the store floor. I say, bro, just try it on. So I see how it looks on you at least. Is that bad. Angle like, bro? No, not straight on, bro, G. Talking about.
Mike
And I'm doing punches, so. Hey, Mike, you can box in it. No, no, real.
Carrie
I don't think it's bad, but that's.
Pat
That's for very, like, emergency type of like, I need. We're traveling tomorrow, and I don't have time to go there. That's when. Like that. Those are the situations where that happens.
Mike
The outfit has to be like, oh, you need this outfit.
Pat
This right away. But I also don't want. It's too expensive.
Gene
No, it was.
Pat
It's expensive enough where I don't want to make a bad decision with it.
Carrie
Yeah, y' all the same size?
Pat
Yeah, we were the same size.
Mike
Hey, yo, we were just crazy.
Gene
That instance came up, man. We were in New York shopping, and. And I thought we had a sales associate who was helping Pat out, and, you know, she brought the pants out
Mike
to him and he.
Gene
He put the pants on. I thought he was going to come out and show her for her. Her advice, you know. And he was like, hey, my God, look at me.
Mike
Why the hell would I ask her the. Did she know? She don't know how she don't know. She don't know my figure. Like, Mike.
Pat
No.
Mike
That's why I really brought it up. The jean was weird as no jeans. So weird, bro. So when we were in Boston, we went to, like, a vintage store, and it's like one of those vintage stores. Like, no matter what's on the rack, the cost, 75. Like, that type of vintage store. So, like, every shirt we picked up, we knew, like, we only getting two or three shirts at a place like this. This dude Gene picked up this dope ass Dr. Sushi.
Gene
That's fire, right?
Mike
What shirt does he have on Today Show? Show him Mic. I met show him G. He has on a Dr. Sue shirt.
Pat
The same one that he picked up?
Mike
No, it was a different one.
Pat
Oh, so.
Mike
But. But no, but this is the problem. He asked me for my opinion, like, between two shirts, and I'm like, damn, the Dr. Seuss one is dope. And he was like, man, it Is dope. But he left out that information. He. You already have a doctor. So it's like. So it's like a wasteful opinion. It's like, I would have been like, no, don't get another Dr. T shirt or.
Pat
Or get another one you want to add to your collection.
Mike
Like, yeah, like that. Don't you think that information.
Pat
No, that's definitely some information because like, you showed me. You showed me the A shirt at the. The same store. You showed me a shirt and I was like, oh, I got that in the. In the. In a different color already.
Mike
Yes.
Pat
So that was me already offering that information. Just so you know, I shouldn't get it or should I get it even though I have it in both colors?
Mike
If he has it in both colors,
Gene
he bought the other one after that.
Mike
Oh, yeah, I forgot about that. No, no, no. You can't say they don't know that. Hold on. You exposing fits and already wore that fit too.
Gene
I'm talking about this man.
Mike
But no, this. Come on now. He already had a Dr. Sue shirt. Y' all tell him that weird, bro. But that's.
Gene
That's what I'm saying is Mike, Lily bought the same shirt in a different color.
Pat
No. What shirt? No, I tried, I tried, I tried. They didn't have it.
Mike
I'm telling you, Mike about to hit 40, 30 years old, he keep going to the same type of stores and looking for the same type of shoe. It's the same shoe every time. I hate, I hate when we go.
Pat
I have so many pairs of like black shoes. And then once I like the shoes. The Solomons. I love the Solomons. Now it's like really comfortable shoes. Solomon, please send me some shoes. But I have the black ones. But also wanted another pair of black ones that look a little different. They don't have like the color on the.
Mike
The.
Pat
I was gonna say the color on the rim, but the color and the. The sole of the shoe or the. What is it? The tongue of the shoe?
Mike
Yeah, yeah. Like it's legit. Like buying the same hot wheel and like different colors. You keep doing that. Every time I see a different color pair of Solomons, I'm like, here it is. And then the up part is like, he don't buy them just cuz they different. Like he'll like it was one that you bought that's like very similar to another one, but then you pass on another one that's very different from the other ones. And I'm just like, I don't even get what the. You Doing.
Pat
Now look at this fit I put together with the ones I just bought.
Mike
Show me a fit. Yeah, you. Oh, and you did the leg lift. Oh, my God.
Pat
I'll send it to my girl.
Mike
I told you, people do different things with their girl, bro. Sometimes my tummy hurt around my girl. It do. But around you,
Carrie
that's wild. You more vulnerable with each other. I like it. And I don't mind you getting another Dr. Seuss.
Pat
Yeah, we are.
Carrie
People keep getting Tupac shirts.
Mike
Tupac, Tupac, Tupac.
Pat
But do you think. I think guys do need to be more vulnerable with each other. Would you say your fiance is vulnerable with you? Like, there's some that he would do with you that he would never do.
Carrie
100. And that's how it should be.
Pat
Yeah. Honestly, that's our safe place.
Gene
You ever hear him do something vulnerable with his.
Carrie
With his friends, and you're like, I haven't. Not. Not. Not with me around.
Pat
Not since Mexico are vulnerable as hell.
Mike
Them won a championship. They had a fall this weekend.
Pat
No.
Mike
No tax, no nothing.
Pat
And you said year.
Carrie
They did have a last dance theme, like a Michael Jordan last dance.
Pat
Oh, man.
Mike
They was.
Pat
There is a certain point off your fiance, but there's a certain point where it's like your girlfriend or your boyfriend or your. What? Your significant other goes on a trip and you see for guys for sure. If you see them do a Jersey exchange, it's like, all right, what type of. What type of night did they have?
Mike
Yeah.
Pat
Or if you see. See if you keep seeing. I love, I love, I love y'. All. If they say that at least one time. If they say that one time in the story, just best believe.
Mike
No, this.
Pat
They having too much fun.
Mike
I'm going give you a little. I'm going give you the real sauce. I'm not even supposed to be saying this. I'm breaking guy code right now. But go to all the Friends pages. Make sure you following them for, like, the next year.
Carrie
Yeah.
Mike
And if these keep talking about this trip, it wasn't just a trip.
Pat
Like, you keep too much fun.
Mike
Keep posting a throwback. Two months. How many Take me back.
Pat
What did y' all do there? No, you definitely. You definitely have to wait. Like, you get the first, like, month after the vacation to say to take me back. Because you obviously, you're just now getting home. Yeah, but if it's like three times in one year, it's like, all right,
Gene
not you needed some new vacation.
Pat
You know, you don't go nowhere.
Mike
You know. You know what? Popping in My head when. When autumn. Rich ass. Rich ass kids from rich households was praying for countries, but they would post when they was on vacation in that country.
Pat
Yeah.
Mike
They were like, oh, praying for Jamaica. And they getting. They, like, thighs rubbed down by some dudes.
Carrie
It get freaky in Jamaica.
Mike
Yo, if you let your girl go to Jamaica by herself, man, you crazy, man. Why they rub.
Pat
You don't trust. You don't trust people, huh? You don't trust people.
Mike
They rubbing legs. It's going to happen.
Pat
Happen.
Mike
Your girl is not about to watch three women get their legs. She's getting those legs,
Pat
actually. That doesn't look relaxing.
Mike
Yeah, just. Just have some respect and just be like, hey, man, at least they had to turn my lady up. You know what I'm saying? At least she went last. Yeah, but it mattered, though, if my. If my girl. Girl.
Pat
The regular ones that are okay, but there's like, the ones where, like, they start putting, like, the muds between your
Mike
boobs and in your butt.
Pat
Oh, it gets a little.
Mike
He knows what he talking. You funny as hell. She said, I ain't never seen that.
Carrie
I ain't seen that, babe.
Mike
I.
Pat
You never seen that on ig. The mud ones she talking about.
Mike
He started at my feet.
Carrie
White ones, like, with the white. Yeah, that just. It just be on the leg.
Mike
No, I seen.
Pat
I seen a guy, like, lift the girl's boobs up like this.
Mike
Oh.
Pat
Perk them up and then do the little. That little thing with it. It's like, all right, come on now.
Mike
I've been in too many toxic relationships for you to pull some like this. It's whatever, bro. That's how you want to play. That's how we play. She talking about what. What are you.
Carrie
Which one do you mean? I seen a lot of single girl. I did. I saw one. Just one. I don't see it often, though.
Gene
No, I've seen dudes.
Carrie
I ain't going to lie. I seen it once. But she was single.
Gene
Men take the lotion from the. And, like, do it themselves.
Pat
Oh, no, I'm not doing that, too.
Mike
I'm not doing that.
Pat
But I feel like if you're already there, it's like, just let the dude do his job. At that point, if you already agreed to, like, this is what it is,
Gene
and then you next or what?
Pat
I mean, it is what it is. No, he gonna have to rub me, too, bro. That.
Unknown Male Guest 1
No.
Pat
If you touch my girl's boobs, nigga, you rub. You rubbing my boobs, too, bro.
Carrie
I don't think that's the standard, though.
Pat
No, it might not be. We're being a little hyperbolic.
Mike
Yeah. I think we should end the podcast
Pat
anyway. Appreciate y'.
Unknown Male Guest 4
All.
Pat
Everybody's been coming to live shows. Appreciate y'. All. We're gonna be in more cities in the fall, like the cap. The more states. The. California's, Florida, Texas.
Mike
Don't do that. Don't do that. We gotta stop doing that.
Pat
Why?
Mike
Because, like, people get triggered by that for some reason.
Pat
No, the way they cut that clip made it seem like. You said we had new dates, though.
Mike
Yes, Also, but I think people were doing that before and after. Like, every time we say that, we're obviously going to do a show in cities where our show is the most popular at. And every show that we went where our city is, our show is popular, has sold out. So why the hell wouldn't we come to you? We on our way. But, like, we're not going to trigger y' all no more. We're not going to say y' all name unless we got something actually on the way.
Pat
My thing is that I just want the same energy to be, you know, to be on, like, the same way. Are in our DM saying, why y' all not coming to Florida? Why y' all not coming to Cali? When these tickets drop and this don't sell out instantly, I swear to God.
Mike
Y' all got Mike. Y' all got Mike popping off, right?
Pat
Come on now. Okay, you got anything? Shout out.
Carrie
Yes. Make sure you guys are tapped into the Pod Brain Squeeze Powder podcast where we talk about pop culture trending news every single day. It's a daily podcast.
Pat
She told me I was going to be a guest, but never gave me the invite. Put this on record. Put this on record.
Mike
And. And she didn't. She complained about us texting her back. We both text her back, and we couldn't even. She didn't even like our text.
Pat
No, you didn't.
Carrie
What? Text back?
Mike
You said, something, something. Have a safe flight.
Carrie
Yes.
Mike
And then we both text you back, and we didn't even get a text back. So you gaslit us.
Carrie
Because honestly, when you said what you said, I thought you was telling me to leave you alone.
Mike
Oh, what did I say?
Carrie
Because I had said, now, let's try it again. Good luck at your show this week and save travels. Mike said, thank you. You said, shaking my head, our flight got delayed. I'll text you when I get back. I'm like, oh,
Mike
I hate when people don't know me. My bad. You know, I'm trolling Right. It was.
Carrie
I didn't know what was going on.
Mike
It was a. It was a joke. Because last time, our excuse for not texting back is the fact that we had, like, a three hour delay and we were stressed out. So I was saying, no, we got delayed. I can't send the text back.
Carrie
Got it, cuz. I was like, they got some bad luck on this.
Mike
Your man probably looking at the phone like, why the that talking to you? Like, right here. My bad, bro.
Unknown Male Guest 4
It was.
Mike
I just joking. My fault, Brody. My fault, bro.
Pat
The year. All right, so, Gene, you got anything Shout out?
Gene
Just buy merch. It's shipping out, ready to ship tomorrow.
Pat
People don't do this no more, huh?
Mike
No, we ain't buying, man.
Pat
What's that? What happened, huh? How do we just go from this? How do we go from this to this? This is.
Mike
Yeah, you good at it now.
Pat
I don't know.
Mike
We've been getting taught at every show how to do it. That's how you know how. We misogynistic. And they doing this at our show. Big head ass girl saying that. No, I love you, girl. Happy International Woman's century to you. Shout out to all my ladies. These niggas. It's still. Even if one of them called me misogynistic, Next one do it. I off myself for it.
Pat
Oh, my God.
Mike
All right, I love y'. All.
Date: May 6, 2026
Hosts: Patrick Johnson (Pat), Michael Esiobu (Mike)
Guests/Co-hosts: Gene, Carrie, plus various call-in guests
In episode 257, Pat and Mike are joined by regulars Gene and Carrie for a wide-ranging, unfiltered, and hilarious conversation about art class trauma, fan interactions, food delivery hot takes, urgent life lessons from parents, heated takes on the Meg & Klay drama, and a signature blend of listener call-ins full of real, raw, and ridiculous scenarios. The episode’s energy peaks with a passionate segment on basketball fandom—"He Still Hates Jayson Tatum"—featuring a long-running bit with a Tatum anti-fan, plus plenty of easy-roasting, introspective moments, and relationship debates.
[00:00–03:00]
[03:01–04:27]
[04:27–06:05]
[06:29–10:08]
[10:08–14:16]
[14:19–27:33]
Notable Quote:
"Anybody can get cheated on...People thought Clay was corny and he a simp...They put it past him that he could be a cheater even though he's been known to cheat before." (20:11, Carrie)
[32:18–37:42]
[38:13–46:00+]
Caller #1: Struggling with dating, weight gain, confidence, and mental health
Caller #2: Homicidal thoughts about girlfriend’s "guy best friend"
Caller #3: Dating woes while in between jobs
Caller #4: Down bad confessions—wanting to “trap” his girlfriend by getting her pregnant when they fight.
[63:04–70:30]
On trolling fans:
“Drop your favorite moment with like a timestamp and then call me a bitch ass...” (03:57, Mike)
On dating & jobs:
“You don't need to talk to no women until you find a job. That's not the time.” (55:49, Mike)
On Jayson Tatum:
“My hatred for him has gotten even deeper...that's my identity as the guy who hate Jason Tatum.” (33:05, Guest)
On McDonald's delivery:
“McDonald's literally lasts 30 minutes...that [burger] might get up and beat your ass.” (07:17, Mike)
On celebrity relationships:
"Anybody can get cheated on...People thought Clay was corny and he a simp...They put it past him that he could be a cheater." (20:11, Carrie)
Unfiltered, roasty, real, and full of camaraderie. The hosts excel at playful jabs, crowd-engaging stories, and a conversational style that’s equal parts wild and wise. Genuine support and honesty shine especially during call-ins, balancing the humor.
Episode 257 is classic Crash Dummies: chaotic, heartfelt, and side-splittingly funny, anchored by ongoing bits (like deep Tatum hate), unvarnished relationship debates, and a street-level, brotherly style. Whether it’s dropping wisdom on dating apps, clowning on food delivery, or dissecting celebrity drama, the Dummies serve up laughs with unexpected perspective.