Crash Dummies Podcast with Pat and Mike

Episode 226: He’s Cheating Starter Pack
Release Date: October 1, 2025

Episode Overview

Pat and Mike, hosts of the Crash Dummies Podcast, return for their 226th episode with their signature blend of hot takes, hilarious stories, and listener interactions. This week’s theme centers on suspicion and relationships, including tales of infidelity, bizarre confessions, and being real about trust in the digital age. The episode also dives into personal taste development, the economics of borrowing from family, and the impact of travel and body image. True to form, Pat and Mike mix absurd humor with relatably real talk amid wild listener calls and banter.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Viral Moments and Social Commentary

• Zion Williamson’s Evolution
  • Starts with a viral photo of NBA player Zion Williamson and the commentary on “how far he’s come but has a long way to go.” Pat and Mike riff on social media’s fascination with athlete personal lives and public shaming.
  • pat: "Somebody tweeted, ‘The good news, nga, is you went the long way. The bad news, nga, is you went the wrong way.’" [00:56]
• Mariah Mills and BBL Culture
  • Jokes about the extremity of body enhancements and the notorious “BBL” (Brazilian Butt Lift). Genuine awe and confusion over Mariah Mills’ physique lead to funny observations on public reactions.

2. Banter About Personal Tastes and Growing Up

• Juice Rankings and Changing Palates
  • Pat and Mike compare favorite juices and discuss how tastes change with age and income, especially regarding overly sweet foods or drinks, and developing a taste for "mature" things like wine and IPA beer.
  • On lemonade:
    • Pat: "Lemonade might be number one, because lemonade be f***ing everybody, too. That’s… yeah, lemonade a little slut too." [08:12]
• Growing Up and Taste
  • Mike reminisces about eating cheap tilapia in college and how both their tastes matured with more money.
  • Pat discusses “acquiring taste” by first drinking bad wine, then appreciating the good stuff.

3. Borrowing Money from Family—How Much Before You Need an Explanation?

• Pat: "If my dad was like, I’m not explaining what I need, but I need $10,000, I give him 10k because I know he a natural born hustler... One of my sisters asked for 10k? Yeah, I need a detailed plan..." [19:10]
• Mike flips it, saying low amounts also demand explanation (“Why do you need $5 from me? That’s a bigger problem.”) [19:35]
• They agree context, timing, and the requestor's track record all factor in.

4. Listeners Call In: Wild Relationship Confessions

★ Segment 1: “I Think My Man is Cheating” (24:27–30:00)

• Caller Details:
  • Her boyfriend is a truck driver (red flag), has dreads ("always lies in them dreads"), takes 2-hour bathroom breaks, puts phone face-down, won’t add her on social media, and exhibits classic “cheating signs.”
  • Mike: "He literally might have a whole nother family." [28:08]
• Pat’s Reaction:
  • "You needed us to tell you this? This is fucked up... My man won’t even add me on Instagram. Like, what the fuck is going on?" [28:26]
• The caller admits, “I love him,” but the hosts emphatically insist her suspicions are justified.
• Mike: "If you still feel that way, I think you should leave. It’s only been a year, so it’s not too late." [30:11]

★ Segment 2: Sexual Confessions – Threesome Edition (32:01–37:38)

• Caller recounts confusing threesome experiences—peer pressure, not knowing how to “join in” with two people preoccupied, becoming an "adlib" participant.
• Mike: "She turned into a cheerleader." [37:17]
• Pat: "She was doing ad libs with the threesome. It’s crazy." [37:19]

★ Segment 3: Accusing a Partner of Being Closeted (38:33–45:00)

• Caller suspects her man is secretly gay, details how she found Grindr (dating app for gay men) on his phone, and her confrontation with him.
• Pat: "If I didn’t eat pizza, why the fuck do I got Domino’s app on my phone?" [40:08]
• The situation exposes issues of sexual orientation, trust, and the confusion it brings into relationships.

★ Segment 4: Butt Plug Mishap & Racist Receipt (53:50–58:24)

• Butt plug escapades gone awry:
  • Guest: “…at one point, that shit just, like, shot out my butt across the deck…” [54:59]
• Receipt marked “negro” at local taco shop sparks discussion about casual racism.
  • Pat: "Negro is crazy. At least you got your food." [58:02]

5. Tweet of the Week & Relationship Sarcasm (59:29–61:47)

• Discussing the hazards of sarcasm in relationships and how jokes can backfire.
• Mike: "I said, ‘I’m done using my words in this house… I’m only talking with my hands now.’ But in my head, I’m thinking sign language." [60:19]
• Pat’s story about a class clown moment in high school and the difference comedic timing can make.

6. On Taking Personal Time Off (PTO) (66:16–69:51)

• Discussion on using PTO just to sleep or decompress, rather than for travel.
• Pat: “Seeing the world will make you hate the city you live in.” [69:32]
• Mike: “A lot of people just want that sense of ‘I don’t have any responsibility for the day.’” [69:10]

7. Body Dysmorphia and Cosmetic Surgery (72:07–76:12)

• Pat & Mike weigh in on Kris Jenner’s “wild transformation” and the prevalence of body modifications.
• They empathize with celebrities’ struggles under the lens of public scrutiny and discuss how self-image is impacted by both money and exposure.
• Mike: “I feel like everybody sees themselves… everybody has some type of dysmorphia about themselves…” [73:01]

8. Dating & Relationship Real Talk

• On Serial Dating:
  • Pat: “If a girl ever dissed you and you kinda sorta the same person you are now, like c’mon bro, it’s way too many women out there to let her spin the block like that…” [82:12]
  • They stress: Don’t accept being someone’s “alternative” after they’ve tried everything else.
• On Early Vacations While Dating:
  • Pat is wary of couples traveling together too soon; it’s a “different level of trust” than just sleeping over. [67:48–68:21]

Notable Quotes & Moments

• Pat, on borrowing big sums from family:
  "For safety reasons. Five grand is enough money to put on a n***a’s head. Imagine paying to kill yourself." [21:42]
• Caller, on her boyfriend:
  "I just know for a fact my man is cheating. I even got a list why..." [24:46]
• Mike, on ‘private’ social media:
  "You should have led with [him not adding you]." [27:57]
• Pat, on sarcasm in relationships:
  "You gotta be careful... there’s no getting out of it. Once you say some shit like that, and someone takes you serious… it's gonna look like you panicking." [61:47]

Memorable Listener Stories (and Timestamps)

• [24:27] Suspicious girlfriend details her man’s cheating starter pack: truck driver, dreads, marathon bathroom breaks, secretive social media.
• [38:33] Caller suspects her partner is gay after finding Grindr on his phone, walks through a bizarre confrontation.
• [53:50] College experimentation gone wrong—flying butt plugs and accidental comedy.
• [58:24] Casual racism on a food receipt sparks laughs and commentary.
• [32:01] Uninvolved in a threesome, caller becomes “ad-libbing observer.”

Tone & Language

• Pat and Mike keep it raw, unfiltered, and insistent on honesty—especially around relationships and modern life.
• Listeners call in with wild, often explicit stories, which the hosts greet with both humor and unsolicited but candid advice.
• Episode language is explicit, with racial and adult references throughout, in line with the hosts’ internet-driven, meme-heavy discourse.

Useful for Listeners Who Haven't Tuned In

This episode dives deeply into the red flags of cheating, relationship trust issues, and the chaos of modern dating. With real listener stories, Pat and Mike dissect what it means to ignore warning signs, why self-respect matters in relationships, and why you should never accept being “Plan B.” The podcast also exposes the pitfalls of quick judgments, the humor found in awkward sexual encounters, and the comfort (and danger) of sarcasm in emotional topics.

From social trends (influencer bodies, PTO use) to biting relationship advice and cringe comic relief, this episode captures Crash Dummies’ blend of raunchy, chaotic, but sincere discussion.

Major Segments/Topics by Timestamp

• [00:56] – Zion Williamson meme & athlete reputation
• [08:12] – Juice discussion as a metaphor for change
• [19:10] – Borrowing money limits in families
• [24:27] – Caller: “He’s Cheating Starter Pack”
• [32:01] – Threesome confusion story
• [38:33] – Finding Grindr on boyfriend’s phone
• [53:50] – Butt plug mishap
• [58:24] – Racist receipt at taco restaurant
• [61:47] – Sarcasm backfiring in relationships
• [66:16] – PTO and travel/self-care
• [72:07] – Body dysmorphia and plastic surgery
• [75:35] – Podcast, audience scrutiny, and wardrobe anxiety
• [82:12] – Serial dating and self-respect
• [84:59] – Outro, upcoming events, and call for costume ideas

Final Notes

• No section is off-limits: Pat and Mike’s “no topic sacred” energy fuels the episode’s wild, rapid-fire transitions.
• Listener calls provide the rawest material, ranging from genuine relationship woes to hilarious sexual misadventures.
• Chunky with quotes, punchlines, and “did-that-really-happen?” moments—perfect for fans of unfiltered comedy and relationship commentary.

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