How You Celebrated Juneteenth - Episode 212

Summary

Crash Dummies Podcast with Pat and Mike Episode: How You Celebrated Juneteenth - Episode 212
Release Date: June 25, 2025

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Introduction

In Episode 212 of the Crash Dummies Podcast, hosts Patrick Johnson and Michael Esiobu delve into personal stories, societal issues, and lighthearted banter, all centered around the theme of celebrating Juneteenth. The episode weaves through heartfelt conversations, humorous exchanges, and insightful discussions, providing listeners with a multifaceted exploration of how individuals commemorate this significant day.

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Consoling Trauma and The Dynamics of Support

Timestamp: 01:14 - 10:41

Patrick and Mike kick off the episode by discussing the complexities of providing support to friends experiencing trauma. They explore the balance between offering a positive perspective and acknowledging the immediate struggles someone is facing.

• Patrick: "I feel like those are people with no social cues. Like, you trying to relate to me at this moment is not good."

• Mike: "I think when you have to, when somebody's coming to you with something, you gotta give it some time before you, you know, offer a positive perspective."

They emphasize the importance of understanding individual needs and the timing of offering support, recognizing that immediate positivity may not always be appropriate.

A Caller's Juneteenth Experience

Timestamp: 21:00 - 23:58

A guest caller shares a controversial and shocking story about celebrating Juneteenth by facilitating a conjugal visit with an inmate. This segment sparks a mix of reactions from Patrick and Mike, leading to a deeper conversation about boundaries and the ethical implications of their actions.

• Patrick: "How does that even work, though? Like, how do you like. Because I'm actually, like, interested."

• Mike: "Trust nobody, bro."

The hosts navigate the conversation with a blend of incredulity and humor, highlighting the extreme lengths some individuals might go to in celebrating Juneteenth.

Weight Loss Journey: A Transformative Story

Timestamp: 38:43 - 42:26

Another guest shares an inspiring story of personal transformation through weight loss. Dropping a significant amount of weight over a year and a half, the guest discusses the challenges and triumphs experienced during the journey.

• Guest: "Losing weight is pretty easy if you just stop bitching and moaning about it."

• Mike: "Congrats on your weight loss journey, though, bro."

Patrick and Mike commend the guest, emphasizing the importance of perseverance and self-discipline in achieving personal goals.

Underachievement in Sports: A Critical Analysis

Timestamp: 72:23 - 83:58

The hosts engage in a spirited debate about the concept of underachievement in sports, particularly focusing on figures like Giannis Antetokounmpo and Stephen A. Smith's critiques. They discuss the metrics used to judge athletes and the often unrealistic expectations placed upon them.

• Mike: "If Giannis doesn't win another ring, think he's an underachiever, basically."

• Patrick: "Who else has won more than one? Everybody keeps winning once. That’s why so many different scenarios."

They argue that winning championships should not be the sole measure of an athlete's success, advocating for a more holistic approach in evaluating sports figures.

Exploring a Fictional Religion: Dinotology

Timestamp: 99:50 - 105:54

In a humorous and fictional segment, Patrick introduces "Dinotology," a made-up religion centered around the worship of curvy women's buttocks. The hosts playfully discuss the absurdity of such a belief system, using it as a springboard for broader conversations about real and perceived religious practices.

• Patrick: "It's basically a religion where followers worship big, curvy woman's butts."

• Mike: "What do you say to Keto? He'll hear it."

This segment showcases the hosts' ability to blend humor with social commentary, engaging listeners with their creative antics.

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Conclusion

Episode 212 of the Crash Dummies Podcast offers a rich tapestry of discussions, blending serious topics with humor and personal anecdotes. From navigating the intricacies of supporting traumatized friends to critically analyzing sports achievements and creating fictional religions, Pat and Mike provide listeners with both entertainment and thoughtful insights. The episode underscores the diverse ways in which individuals celebrate Juneteenth, highlighting the complexities and varied experiences that come with honoring this pivotal day in American history.

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Notable Quotes

• Consoling Trauma:

  • Patrick (01:14): "You trying to relate to me at this moment is not good."
  • Mike (09:03): "I think when you have to, when somebody's coming to you with something, you gotta give it some time before you, you know, offer a positive perspective."

• Juneteenth Experience:

  • Mike (21:10): "How does that even work, though?"
  • Mike (22:19): "We might have a new setting."

• Weight Loss Journey:

  • Guest (38:43): "Losing weight is pretty easy if you just stop bitching and moaning about it."

• Underachievement in Sports:

  • Mike (72:23): "If Giannis doesn't win another ring, think he's an underachiever, basically."
  • Patrick (78:27): "Think the problem is everybody gets compared to the larger scale of like, okay, like LeBron."

• Dinotology Religion:

  • Patrick (99:50): "It's basically a religion where followers worship big, curvy woman's butts."

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This comprehensive summary encapsulates the essence of Episode 212, providing a coherent and engaging overview for those who haven't listened to the full episode.

Transcript

[Mike]

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[Pat]

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[Mike]

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[Pat]

You can Venmo this. How about snacks?

[Mike]

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[Pat]

You know what I was thinking is that if you're about to save someone's life or really help them out, that's probably the best time to be disrespectful towards them.

[Mike]

In what sense?

[Pat]

So, like, if I came up to you and I was like, hey, ass, tie your shoe, you'd be like, bro, watch your mouth. You know what I'm saying? Like, who you talking to? Because your shoe being untied is not putting your life in danger. Like, you could have said that nicer. Yeah, but if he was walking across the street and he was talking to somebody and you had your head turned, I say, hey, you, big head ass, watch out, it's a car coming. Crazy line to say, why now? But in this scenario, you're not. So.

[Mike]

And then you.

[Pat]

You see the car, you're like, oh, you gotta say, good looking. Like, you gotta. You can't acknowledge. You know what I'm saying?

[Mike]

Honestly, I still would be mad because it's like, you could have used less words to tell me that to move out the way, watch out. I probably. But honestly, I don't know.

[Pat]

I said, watch out, big head, ass, don't.

[Mike]

Okay, okay. I guess I would have moved out the way when you said watch out and not heard the rest anyway.

[Pat]

Yeah, it's better than what you did to me in New York though.

[Mike]

What I do.

[Pat]

This dude told me I saw some.

[Mike]

No, you didn't see this. Don't lie.

[Pat]

I did see.

[Mike]

Don't lie. Don't lie. Tell the story. The correction. You didn't see it. I did see it. No, you just. You would have saw it maybe, but you didn't see it.

[Pat]

When I saw the man, I seen you. I see what you did. When did this dude might step over like a 50 year old man? Like, he don't even do a cool. Might be like, oh, just sky over it, bro. Put the sky over it with your foot to make people think. Like, damn, that got so much aura here on the ground.

[Mike]

So what happened Close.

[Pat]

You got to get right next to the. Maybe the can graze the back of your shoe a little bit. That's how close I want to walk to that. They be like, damn, he ain't even stepping that real big stepper right there.

[Mike]

Real what? What did I do then?

[Pat]

Huh? But anywho. Okay, I didn't see it yet.

[Mike]

Okay, exactly.

[Pat]

I ain't gonna sit up here and lie. I'm done lying. Um, so I didn't see it, but it's like the way you pushed me and told me to watch out. He pushed me first towards the street.

[Mike]

So I stepped back.

[Pat]

Like, bro, mind you, we in New York is traffic. I'm like, bro, you got me up.

[Mike]

I pushed.

[Pat]

So I stepped back into the. And this dude made me step in in New York, right, right after Earthquake. I don't know if there's any bad luck about that, but like, I feel like stepping in right after Earthquake.

[Mike]

I pushed him, but Pat had so much resistance, you know, I was to push him too much. I'm just trying to like nudge him out the way, but he's. This is such a alpha, alpha male, macho brolic ass. Oh, man, this stood his ground and like pushed back into me where the was.

[Pat]

Yeah, like, bro, he wanted to step in the. Huh. It might was horrifying. Like, look how he wiping that off his shoe. I'm about to go buy some new.

[Mike]

Shoes anyway, we need to intro the pod. Welcome to Crash Dummies, episode 212. I was. I was gonna tell myself, I'm not gonna laugh this episode.

[Pat]

Oh, damn, you already been giggling. Somebody. I don't get. I don't get. What's with y' all with trying to make Mike giggle?

[Mike]

No, I don't. Not giggles every time, bro.

[Pat]

Stand up, bro.

[Mike]

You really don't know what your phone is?

[Pat]

I got it.

[Mike]

But make sure you guys look at Gene.

[Pat]

Every time y' all see Gene, it looked like he got cool runnings on dvd. Come on, man. They're running back.

[Mike]

That's crazy.

[Pat]

Running back on a Blu Ray, bro.

[Mike]

Make sure you guys subscribe to the Patreon. What else? Oh, yeah, that. Dude, that's. I'm not even gonna get dude attention, but you know who you are in our Patreon to keep selling our content.

[Pat]

Yeah, we gonna get you, brother.

[Mike]

Yeah. Yeah. Hey, One way or other, brother. Oh. Shout out to everybody showing love on the T. Pain episode. Definitely a milestone of guests to kind of have.

[Pat]

Yeah. Sorry to our YouTube listeners with epilepsy.

[Mike]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Pat]

I ain't gonna lie. I thought that was, like, over exaggerating.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And then my dad had told me, like, one of his favorite parts from the pod. So, like, I went to back. I went back to view it, and I was trying to watch it at night, and I was like, damn, she almost had me seasoned.

[Mike]

So I know y' all the audio listeners. You guys were safe, man.

[Pat]

Yeah, we definitely had somebody sizzling in their living ago.

[Mike]

Now.

[Pat]

Yeah, we. Somebody up.

[Mike]

I was. I. I was thinking about it as the first. People don't know that. Well, I guess it's really just audio listeners. Where we shot it at, where T. Pain was doing the. His concert at, which is the rave, and there was. They were doing. Testing the lights in the background the whole time. And even when they were doing the strobe ones, even though our back was turned, I was getting like, that was.

[Pat]

With me, too, because, you know, that's what. Like, I don't know if you watch some movies, like, if it's a hostage situation and you dealing with, you know, law enforcement, they'll do stuff like that to, like, get you out to irritate you. They'll play, like, loud sounds and they'll do strobe light. So that's like. It's like a form of torture. Like, I was just getting tortured. Mr. Torture.

[Mike]

Yeah. But. Oh, yeah, shout out to y' all for showing love on the episode. It definitely was a dope episode. And it's like, I think with podcasting with us right now, it's. It's fun to kind of, like, do podcasts with people we watch growing up as well.

[Pat]

Oh, we all. We always forget to do this.

[Mike]

What?

[Pat]

And, you know, sometimes it might come off as, like, we're not thankful. Doc, I appreciate T Pain, man.

[Mike]

No, for sure.

[Pat]

That he showed love. He actually watches the pot. It wasn't something that he saw that he was just trying to promote. Was Cancer Festus. Was Cancer Festival sold out? It was going to sell out whether he was on our podcast or not. So it was already sold out. He was like, literally showing us love made time. Actually came in there and vibed out. No superstar stuff. Whatever you think about T. Pain is true, bro. Real not whatever. Yeah, whatever.

[Mike]

Anything that.

[Pat]

He'Ll understand.

[Mike]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

[Pat]

He's such an understanding guy. Whatever you think.

[Mike]

Don't you hate when people try to. Like, this just happened to. This happened to me, especially during my Achilles injury. Right. I hate when people try to relate to something bad that happened to you with something they think bad happened to them. For, like, example, it was more like, you know, I was going through my Achilles, Stuff like that. Yeah, I ruptured my Achilles and stuff like that. And this dude was like, yeah, bro. It reminds me of this one time I. I caught a Charlie horse and, you know, like, I was like, bro, what? I think sometimes there are people, especially in conversation, they're trying to one up your trauma.

[Pat]

I feel like, you know, I just feel like those are people with no social cues.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Like, they don't understand. Like, you trying to relate to me at this moment is not good. You know what I'm saying? It's just like someone who's, you know, not a minority. Like, man, bro, I hate when people. Racist and white dude is like, man, I hate when people think I can't play basketball, man. I just think I can just a shooter or something. I'm more than that.

[Mike]

Or if. Or if you get, like, robbed, right? Like somebody robs you, right? And then you say, yeah, bro, I got robbed yesterday. And like, damn, at least you didn't get kidnapped. It's like, bro.

[Pat]

I kind of like the perspective, but I'm already thinking that the most positive that we gonna get here.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Don't tell me I'm lucky I'm alive and I'm over here like a starfish. Maybe do a cartwheel real quick. I think.

[Mike]

I think there has to be some. I think it's crazy. I think when you have to. When somebody's coming to you with something, you gotta give it some time before you, you know, offer a positive perspective. Because you don't know if things are gonna are good yet. I think because, like, say something happened to you and it's like a year later you talk about that thing. If it happened a year ago, Then it's like, yeah, bro, at least you made it through. You know, you made it through some.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

If something just happened yesterday, you don't know if that person is gonna make it through that trauma, you know?

[Pat]

Come on now, bro. You good, bro. You good. Your leg. You just got one leg amputated. Like, bro, I gotta test tomorrow to see if I gotta amputate the other one. Please sh.

[Mike]

But then it does bring. The question then is like, how do you properly console somebody? Because I do have some of those friends where I feel like they're overly negative, and I try to bring a positive perspective into it. And sometimes it's seen as, like, I don't need that right now. But sometimes I feel like people, you know, unintentionally. Trauma dump on you, and it's like, what do I do to, like, get us out this funk? You know, Like. Because I don't want to be in this funk because now you making me sad.

[Pat]

Yeah. My thing is whatever feeling you got, I' ma just push you more towards that. You know what I'm saying? I'm here to support.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

You want to end it all, brother?

[Mike]

Don't think that. Don't do that jump.

[Pat]

I'm playing. I'm playing, bro. Come on over. Get out of there. Get off of there.

[Mike]

But some friends. Some friends are the type of friends you need to, like, do that with, right? You got to know your friends. A comedic, like, how they joke around and like that.

[Pat]

You gotta just know the friend.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah.

[Pat]

Everybody's different. I'm more. It's funny because, like, how, like, obviously people think I got dark humor. Right. I'm probably more serious in those situations than people would think. You know what I'm saying?

[Mike]

Yeah. I think I'm probably more unseerious sometimes.

[Pat]

Yeah, you're more unserious when it comes to that stuff. I probably laughed at every funeral I've been to, but it's like, a good laugh. Well, not all of them, but just like, some people look crazy crying.

[Mike]

There'd be some people I'd be judging a little bit at funerals. It's like, when. Especially when I know you didn't know this dude like that.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

And I see you, like, on your knees, hands on the head, like, causing a scene.

[Pat]

Oh, what? What?

[Mike]

Like.

[Pat]

Yeah, what kind of funeral you went to? You didn't whack him off before he died.

[Mike]

For real. It's like, I know you didn't. You didn't show no love when he was alive.

[Pat]

Come on, man, don't straddle him now.

[Mike]

Now you. Now you on your knees saying, I don't know how I'm going to live without you. Like, come on now. You literally haven't talked to do it in years.

[Pat]

Now you. You. You at your guy funeral, you see a girl that didn't hit him back and she crying too hard. He didn't even text him back. He told me about you. You playing throw your ass to the back.

[Mike]

You're the reason he here. Come on now.

[Pat]

You asleep, huh? Six hours. Six hour nap.

[Mike]

Yeah. Come on now.

[Pat]

Get her out of here, man.

[Mike]

I got. I got a question for y' all. Would you rather lose your voice every time you lie or sneeze every time you say no?

[Pat]

Lose my voice every time I lie?

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Or sneeze every time I say no?

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Oh, I sneeze easy. I might. Hey, I might not even. I might not even say no no more. The people just understand me. Like, yo, Pat, can I borrow the car? I chew. I chew. I ain't even. I chew. I didn't. I probably sneeze so much, I mastered how to. I chew like, the. Don't even, like, flush anymore. It's just like, I choose, like, this look. That boy learned how to cut the turkey.

[Mike]

Was that a sneeze? Sneeze? That was a no sneeze or like, you got allergies right now? Because I know. I know it's spring season right now.

[Pat]

And then if they ask me that, I'm just turn around and start double. No, let me show you how much of a dough this is.

[Mike]

They could never.

[Pat]

Oh, you know, I was thinking it's actually more trustworthy to say that you'll be back or you're going to do something a longer period of time away than it is to, say, a short time.

[Mike]

Can you be an example?

[Pat]

So if you say, hey, Pat, can you hand me that drink? And I'll just be like, bro, I got you in a second, your mind might get so irritated that you like, Damn, it's been 15 seconds. And he hand me that drink. I'm about to get up and get it myself.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

If I tell you, hey, bro, I'll do it in 37 minutes, you might rock with it. Like, hey, nigga was real. You know, like, if. If somebody like, oh, I'm on my way. Hey, when you going to be here? About 15, 20 minutes. Like, okay, this lying. I mean, he lived 15, 20 minutes away. Hear shower running in the background.

[Mike]

Like. Like, are we going to shoot at this time? Like, yeah, I'm like, I've been looking at the time. Like, there's no way. I said. I said, shoot. Shoot at this time or shoot at 12 or be there at 12. He's like, no, we're gonna shoot at 12. I'm like, Bro, it's like 11:50. I still hear your kid crying in the background.

[Pat]

Come on, man. He called me.

[Mike]

I'm laying down.

[Pat]

I'm like, man, traffic crazy right now. That crazy.

[Mike]

You there already? Damn. I pull up, this is gonna be like. I'm walking out the door right now. You could tell you're just looking for something.

[Pat]

I lost some. That was in my pocket. I even took my lion's, man. Like, oh, I broke the capsule open and snorted that. Like, God damn.

[Mike]

Now past the king of, like, forgetting the M. The minor thing before you walk out the door.

[Pat]

Packing, though. I tell you that.

[Mike]

Yeah, I'm not. I'm. I'm not a. I'm a day of packer.

[Pat]

Yeah. I'm a day of hacker. And I don't forget for real.

[Mike]

I don't feel like I forget anything either.

[Pat]

Except last trip.

[Mike]

What you forget?

[Pat]

I can't even tell you, man.

[Mike]

Or maybe you forgot to take something out your bag in London.

[Pat]

Are you a rat?

[Mike]

I'm not a rat. You don't even say what it was.

[Pat]

Obviously, people assume that it's illegal if you say something like that.

[Mike]

I just said you forgot to take something out your bag.

[Pat]

That's. You're. You're a very. Well, he's a seasoned rat, but not.

[Mike]

No, no. Right on G. No, you're a rat, but I'm not a rat.

[Pat]

Bro. Regina don't follow instructions, bro. I forgot, bro. They literally yelling all electronics at the back. So I'm looking at Gene like, oh, maybe Gene ain't got no electronics or something. We get to the thing, the bags come through. Gene stuff go off to the side. And I'm like, bro, what the hell? So Gene pissed. He like, man, these always with me. I'm thinking, like, some racist going on. I'm like. Cause you know, I already don't with tsa. You a TSA Asian.

[Mike]

No, no, don't do that. Don't do that. No, no, that's Johnson.

[Pat]

At this point.

[Mike]

It'S up.

[Pat]

Even start this. But tsa, this is not your fault. I with y' all on this one. I was on your side for this one. So I'm like, bro, they must be doing some racist. So they take G back to the side. They can pull out two laptops Three cell phones, bro.

[Mike]

What the.

[Pat]

But they take jeans in the back. Jeans still. These always with me.

[Mike]

I'm like, bro, there's two laptops in.

[Pat]

There and some steel toe boots.

[Mike]

Like, what the. And I think he had the. You had the roll caster in your bag, too? He had the roll caster, too, man. A whole setup. Travel light, right?

[Pat]

He was snapping on them boys. I was on the side.

[Mike]

Was this on the way back or there was.

[Pat]

It had to. Yeah, it was in atl.

[Mike]

It's on the way back. No, no, no, no.

[Pat]

It was all the way there.

[Mike]

All the way there. Okay.

[Pat]

No, it was in Chicago, man. You did that in lax, you would have shot your ass. They don't play that.

[Mike]

No. I'm not gonna lie. The Atlanta airport is wild.

[Pat]

It's two. It don't make sense, bro. It's confusing as hell. It look like some people in there don't got tickets for a flight. Why are you here, bro?

[Mike]

I think what was confusing for me because that was the longest TSA pre check line I've ever been in. Like, I didn't like either. Everybody, but people, everybody's back was getting pulled aside. Yeah, legit. Almost everybody's back. I'm like, we're at TSA pre check. Like, why is everybody bad getting pulled aside? And I think that was what taken so long. And it's just like, they would check. Although I do like TSA workers that, you know, do their job and like that.

[C]

No.

[Mike]

They gonna take my TSA free check away.

[Pat]

No, you good, bro.

[Mike]

You good.

[Pat]

I guess if you want to stay on their side, I probably do the same thing, but they already with me, so it's up. You want me to get naked, I get naked.

[Mike]

Here's a clip.

[Pat]

All right, y' all, let's take a quick break here to thank the sponsor of today's episode, Seeki. So I've been thinking I need to get out the house this summer. I need to hit up some Brewer games. And when you're buying tickets, you're like, dang, where do I go? Because you don't want to run into them dudes in the front. Yeah, I got them tickets, like, all right, bro.

[Mike]

And they don't be any cheaper. They'll give you, like, nosebleeds for, like, 800. It's like, what?

[Pat]

One time, a dude was selling me a ticket, and it was actually blood on the ticket. Somebody knows how to blame on these tickets.

[Mike]

Or when they get. They have two good receipts. It's like, bro, why do you have Field access tickets. Like how what you do together.

[Pat]

But you know, like, sometimes they go on those apps to get those tickets and they. And they get on there pretty early because I've actually seen tickets rise and fall in price depending on what time you.

[Mike]

Yeah, exactly. With that said, we recommend everybody getting their tickets from SeatGeek. With over $28 million, SeatGeek is the number one rated ticketing app. And just because we rock with you guys, we have a special deal for you guys. When you guys use the code dummies10, and you get 10 off your. Your next set of tickets at SeatGeek, that's 10% off with any ticket with the promo code dummies10. Make sure to click the link in the description to download the app and have the code automatically added to your account so you can use it later. Thank you. Seatgeek. Back to the pod.

[Pat]

Close your eyes.

[Mike]

Exhale.

[Pat]

Feel your body relax.

[C]

And let go of whatever you're carrying today. Well, I'm letting go of the worry.

[Mike]

That I wouldn't get my new contacts in time for this class.

[C]

I got them delivered free from 1-800-contacts. Oh, my gosh. They're so fast.

[Pat]

And breathe.

[Mike]

Oh, sorry. I almost couldn't breathe when I saw the discount they gave me on my first order.

[C]

Oh, sorry. Namaste.

[Mike]

Visit 1-800-contacts.com today to save on your first order. 1-800-contacts.

[C]

Hello?

[Mike]

Yo.

[C]

Oh, damn. I text y' all a couple days ago.

[Mike]

Yeah, exactly. That's why we're calling.

[C]

Oh, well, y' all typically do it on Sunday.

[Mike]

Yeah. Hey.

[Pat]

That'S huge.

[Mike]

Just give everybody the behind the scenes what day, what time it is. All right.

[Pat]

Hey, Hey.

[C]

Y' all shouldn't have made the schedule if you ain't gonna stay on.

[Mike]

Hey, hey. I feel it. I got a question for you, though. What's up? How do you celebrate Juneteenth?

[C]

Oh, so I work for the city.

[Mike]

I ain't. Don't.

[C]

Don't do the police because this felony. But I work for the city and we get like jail workers and so I ain't feel like I should have been working on Juneteenth. Buddy said he wanted some ass, so I took him to his and let him meet up with his and get some ass. He been he doing 12 years. He got four left, so I feel like he deserves it.

[Pat]

You scared me.

[Mike]

Scared me for a little bit.

[Pat]

He said you took him to get some ass.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mike]

I was like this. Having sex with the inmates.

[Pat]

A conjugal visit. I'm right Here.

[Mike]

Well, how does that even work, though? Like, how do you like. Because I'm actually, like, interested. Where do you guys, like, meet up with. With the. Their spouses to have sex? Because some jails have that already or some prisons have that.

[Pat]

Oh, well, not.

[C]

Well, this ain't. This was nothing like set up. This was like me and him were supposed to be out working, and I was just like, you wanna go do this instead? You keep talking about the.

[Mike]

I feel it.

[Pat]

That's all right.

[C]

We pulled up out of city limits and she met us over, and I pulled. We. We were still in the city vehicle too.

[Mike]

She is?

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Wait, you took. You took somebody outside of jail?

[C]

Yeah, he already. He was outside. He on the work release program. So he come out for like eight hours and work. Then we take him back to jail.

[Pat]

You're a real one.

[C]

Would have wanted, man.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Hey, I wouldn't put. Might be a little bit too far, man. Did he appreciate it?

[C]

Oh, hell yeah. He told me if we got caught, he's gonna tell him. They. They. He made me do it. I was like, you a real.

[Mike]

You just lucky he didn't get caught.

[Pat]

Like, man, he forced me to have sex with her and he filmed it.

[C]

I ain't gonna lie. If we got caught, I was gonna put this pocket knife in his seat and be like, hey, he was trying to kill me.

[Mike]

Trust nobody, bro. All right, man, you can have a good one.

[C]

All right. Y' all too.

[Mike]

All right. You too.

[C]

Yo, yo, yo, yo, dang, this don't even seem real, man. Oh, snap.

[Pat]

Voice trembling is like, hella glazing. I'm not gonna lie.

[Mike]

Nah.

[C]

Voice trembling, Man, I'm walking right now, dog.

[Pat]

All right, I got a question for you. You have one week before you die. What are you doing.

[C]

Man? So. So first thing I'm doing, I'm getting a switch, right? Because, you know, I shot a gun before, but I ain't never shot no switch. So I gotta. I gotta add up, you know what I'm saying? I'm just a danger list. And I'm go to all my plugs, and I'm gonna get, like, a bunch of gas with no money, right? Because I'm broke. I'm gonna get a bunch of gas, no money come through, get the weed run off on the ass. If they try to pull, I gotta switch. So it's like, what the y' all gonna do? You know what I'm saying? I'm gonna. I'm gonna switch them down if they really trying to act crazy. So then after that.

[Mike]

That.

[C]

Calling up all my. Calling up all my. I' ma prep all the weed. I'm mixing mad blunts. I'm mixing every strain of blunts, right? I don't know what type of damage that's gonna do to my soul, but it. Right. I got a week left, so getting all my out of here. We gonna all die together.

[Mike]

Wait, wait, wait. You're the only one dying in this situation, though. Why they. Why is everybody else dying?

[C]

I mean, so it's like, if I gotta go, my. Gotta go with me, because you know what I'm saying, I love all my. But at the end of the day, I'm a hating ass. I can't have my getting up after I die. You know what I'm saying? So we gonna all go up, you know what I'm saying? To God. You know what I'm saying? The further gate.

[Mike]

So as you. Have you had anybody in your life that's passed away before?

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[Mike]

And did you feel the need that you need to go with them?

[C]

Nah.

[Mike]

I mean, so would you then not consider yourself. Would you then consider yourself a real then for not dying with them?

[C]

I mean, see, because so the last one I just went to, right? You know, God rest his soul, but he went out kind of crazy, so it's like, I. I'm not going out crazy like that. You know what I'm saying? So if. If I did wanted to die. Wait, I would want to die in, like, you know, he went out, I guess.

[Pat]

What do you mean he went out crazy?

[C]

He went out great. All right, so long story short, it was a really bad car accident. It got up on the news. The car accident was so bad, it knocked out like 1200 homes. Yeah. So, like, it was a bunch of neighborhoods that had blackouts. He had, like, a power line, and they're like, yeah, it knocked out a bunch of. So it's like. Yeah.

[Mike]

Is that what you consider going out crazy, though?

[Pat]

That's what I'm laughing before y' all say I'm laughing at somebody. I'm not laughing at the accident. I'm laughing like, why are you saying that's going on crazy? Like, I feel like that's tragic. That's more tragic.

[C]

Yeah, like. Well, yeah, as in. As. As in crazy, as in tragic. I mean, like, yeah, it's, like, really bad. I didn't want to go. Like, I wouldn't want nobody to go like that unless you my worst enemy. You know what I'm saying? So it's like, I have my. You know what I'm saying family member of mine to get, you know, off like that, you know what I'm saying? You know, so you think you shouldn't say off.

[Mike]

Yeah, but. So you think it's. So you wouldn't wish that on your worst enemy, but you want your friends to die with you smoking weed.

[C]

Oh, no, I would wish that on my worst enemy, but I. Yeah, of course. I mean, ride together, we gonna die together.

[Pat]

Now, who's supposed to carry on your story and tell the good stories about you, about how you ran off on all these plugs?

[C]

I mean, I got a girl, so, you know, I mean, I'm. I'm. I'm gonna just let her know, hey, baby, look, I got a week left. You know what I'm saying?

[Pat]

Oh, so you're not taking your girl with you, though, but you're taking your.

[C]

No, no, no, no. I'm, I'm. I'm not taking my girl. I wish nothing but happiness on my. You know what I'm saying? On my baby. I want her to live on, you.

[Mike]

Know what I'm saying, and get another relationship.

[C]

I mean, if, if that's the case.

[Mike]

So be which, and the relationship might be someone, and the relationship most likely would be somebody you already know, too. Just know that, too.

[C]

Nah, I doubt that.

[Mike]

I'm just saying it, probably. Oh, yeah, I guess you are taking.

[C]

Probably not gonna know them. I'm probably not gonna because, you know, I'm. I, I, I live down south, but I'm from up north, so it ain't really a lot of out here, I know, outside of my family, so you know what I'm saying?

[Mike]

Okay.

[C]

Hey, if I did, I wouldn't worry as long as that, you know, I'm saying, does treat her right, because I will come back from beyond the grave and terrorized.

[Mike]

All right.

[C]

If.

[Mike]

All right, bro. You have a good one. This is so elaborate.

[C]

I love y' all. Love your podcast.

[Pat]

No, no, you weird, bro.

[Mike]

It's not. You can't. It's not pause. It's not.

[Pat]

Take it back, bro. We love you too, bro.

[C]

Hey, bro, I've. I've been listening to y' all for about, like, a good, like, I want to say month or two. And y' all are like my new regular show. I listen to y' all, y' all, all y' all episodes at, like, random. So it's like, it'll be brand new episode. Next episode's episode two. So it's like.

[Mike]

Yeah, I appreciate it, man.

[Pat]

Don't watch nothing before 50, brother.

[C]

I already did. Y' all some crazy ass and. Yo, Mike, last thing. Last thing. I. I know I'm chatting. Mike, I ain't gonna lie. You're not a man in your word. But you say that at the end of each podcast, you gonna play Key music. You only played that probably, like, ten times after that, bro, and it's like, y' all on episode, like, what, like, 212 now, so.

[Mike]

Well, that's a key question, because Key doesn't get his music cleared sometimes, and it'd just be random beats, so, you know, sometimes it's really key fault. I mean, yeah, I would say. All right, you have a good one.

[C]

You too, man.

[Mike]

All right.

[Pat]

Yo, yo, what's the deal? Welcome to Crashing Me's podcast.

[C]

What up, Pat? What up, Mike?

[Mike]

What's up?

[Pat]

All right, we got a question for you. You stuttering or are you glitching?

[C]

I was just asking if Key was there.

[Mike]

Oh, no, he's not here. Nothing. Because we kept talking.

[Pat]

All right, you have one week left to live. What are you doing?

[C]

I'm gonna go to the hood and get the pass.

[Mike]

The past. Like, I think I know what you're saying, but let me just.

[Pat]

We're gonna let you.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah.

[Pat]

Elaborate on this.

[C]

Yeah, it's not fast. I don't even gotta say, what pass?

[Pat]

What pass?

[C]

Nah. Yeah, you white. No, what are you? I'm brown.

[Pat]

Like, what are you?

[C]

I'm from Pakistan.

[Pat]

Okay.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Pat]

You say you going to the hood to get what. What pass you getting?

[Mike]

Like, and how do you. How do you.

[Pat]

Museum pass or something?

[Mike]

Yeah. And how do you think you're acquiring this pass? A impass.

[C]

I feel. I feel like grounds, you know, they fit in. You know, they should be allowed.

[Mike]

Should. To.

[C]

To. To say a word.

[Mike]

Okay. How you. You talk about. You're talking about, like, saying the N word, right?

[C]

Maybe.

[Pat]

Go ahead, say it. I'll give you the pass. No, no, no. Say it, bro.

[C]

No, it has to be Mike. Mike has to get there.

[Pat]

No, explain that, bro. Like, what does that mean?

[C]

Mike just seems more real, you know?

[Pat]

Oh, you think, like, I'm trolling. Oh, well, I was.

[Mike]

Yeah. How do you. How do you think you're gonna obtain it, though? Like, walk me through it.

[C]

I'm just. I'm just real, you know, I get along with everyone.

[Mike]

So then what's stopping you from getting it now, then? Because you said if you're about to die, you're gonna go to the hood and get your. Your. The pass.

[Pat]

Yes. What's the conversation like?

[Mike]

So you are you just going. And are you just going there and saying it, or you. What are you doing, asking permission?

[C]

I'm gonna talk to them. You know, I'm from Sacramento. I'm mentioned. Mozzie. So then don't. Don't understand.

[Mike]

All right, let's go. Let's just. Let's just.

[C]

I don't want to say it now.

[Mike]

No, no, it's fine. It's fine. You don't have to say it. You don't have to say. Don't. Don't say it.

[Pat]

Mike's gonna be the person that you're asking. Let's say Mike's the first.

[Mike]

Yes.

[Pat]

You see when you get to said hood.

[Mike]

And then you and you guys so about scene. You're walking down the hood every day. When you walk in. Down the street, that music is laying in your head. That type of walk.

[Pat]

You see Mike and a wife beater with chains and go.

[Mike]

Now what are you saying? What up, bro?

[C]

I wouldn't go up to someone like that. I would. If I. If I just saw Mike in his regular fit walking down the street, I'd go up to him.

[Mike]

Okay.

[C]

If I go up to someone in a white beater, they go jump.

[Pat]

Okay.

[Mike]

You went up to Mike.

[C]

Yo, what up, Mike? I know you from that podcast. It's a great podcast. Can I. Can I say it?

[Pat]

No way. Can I say it? Oh, my God. They gonna beat the out of you. You. And at one. I know you said you only got one week left to live. I guarantee you you won't make it to that week.

[Mike]

That better be on that Friday. Yeah.

[Pat]

Better be on the day you die.

[Mike]

All right, bro.

[C]

Mike wouldn't beat me up. Mike wouldn't beat me up.

[Pat]

Nah, he would report you, bro.

[Mike]

Yo.

[Pat]

Hey, yo. He just asked for the N word. Pass.

[Mike]

Oh, man. All right, bro. You have a good one.

[Pat]

All right. All right.

[C]

What's happening?

[Pat]

What's happening?

[C]

Not much. You know, living the dream, working in this sauna.

[Mike]

It's hot. Where you at, too?

[C]

Yeah, it is. I done hydroplane off the goddamn toilet seat about three times.

[Mike]

Hydroplane out the toilet seat.

[Pat]

Like, wait, from ass sweat.

[Mike]

Ass?

[C]

What? Yeah. So much ass. What? I can't tell a difference between myself and farting.

[Pat]

You're a nasty. I can't just tell.

[Mike]

Brother.

[C]

It ain't just me. I know it ain't.

[Pat]

No, that's for. That's real. You say it's real hot when you're working out?

[Mike]

Yeah, I work at a shop.

[C]

I'm a mechanic.

[Pat]

Ah, nice, nice, nice, nice.

[C]

It's hotter inside than it is outside.

[Pat]

That's why everybody be. Car. Be taking all day like this mechanics.

[C]

Yeah, because we. Damn right. Because we send the ac, too. You ever know why? You go, you got a certain amount of gas in your car, and you take it in, it comes back with less. And because of test drives, because the ac. Because we sit in it commercial. I'm not even joking.

[Mike]

So mechanics. Some mechanics just sit in AC like that in people's cars.

[C]

Oh, God, they do. On, God, they do. Oh, and if you got vintage seats, it's over. I'm turning that on full blast. I am cooling off my ass sweat, and you'll see.

[Pat]

No way. All right, I got a question for you.

[Mike]

What's up?

[Pat]

If you have one week left to live, what would you do?

[C]

Easy. I'm gonna marry my girl, and then I'm gonna make sure that she dies with me at the end of that week. I don't give a fight. It ain't gonna be no funeral. It ain't gonna be none. Here's the thing. When I die, they're gonna be all at the funeral, you know, saying all their sweet stuff about me, and someone's gonna be like, some. Some random dude. I don't know who it is, but some randoms gonna be like, if you need anything, I.

[Mike]

That.

[C]

No, no, you don't. You don't need nothing. As a matter of fact, she's dying with me. She gonna in the same grave, too, ain't I? Ain't letting nobody slide their way into some. If you need anything, I got you. You know, he was like a best friend to me. He was like a brother. Nope. All that. She dying with me. I don't care. Ain't no one getting a chance.

[Mike]

So God forbid, if something happens to your girl, right? Right now, somebody definitely. No, no, no, no, no. I'm just saying, God forbid something happens to your girl right now, but if your girl was. You knew your girl was dying in a week, would you want to die with her?

[C]

I ain't no hypocrite. Yeah, I'll die with her.

[Pat]

Why do.

[C]

Why do I got to be on this earth breathing without her?

[Mike]

You just really love your girl, Romeo.

[Pat]

Juliet going on, huh?

[C]

Awesome. Romeo. Juliette. Yeah, I love my girl. Love her to death. To death and death, yes.

[Pat]

Yeah, she. She somebody else. You this clingy, bro?

[C]

Hey, bro. Hell, yeah, I'm this clingy. She clingy, too.

[Mike]

So guess what? Why aren't you married, then? I'm just wondering because you said you would marry her, then do that, then die. So why? What's stopping you from marrying her now?

[C]

Because I'm 21.

[Mike]

That's a good answer.

[Pat]

Wait till. Wait till you find out. She want to kidney Chesney backstage.

[Mike]

Hey, man.

[C]

Hey, you know what? Then I. She could die. If she died, she died at that point, you know.

[Mike]

She got dark.

[C]

As a matter of fact, we even get into a position where she can get into a backstage, we ain't even gonna be there.

[Mike]

Turned to a crime. Crime junkie Podcast Funky.

[C]

Yes. They sure did.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

All right, bro. You have a good one.

[C]

You too, man. Y' all stay safe and try to stay cool, too. Watch that ass wet.

[Mike]

Watch that ass. Okay, bro.

[Pat]

Sounds so crazy.

[Mike]

Yo, welcome to Crashing Podcast.

[C]

What's going on, man?

[Mike]

What up, man? How's it going?

[C]

It's a horrible day.

[Mike]

What happened?

[C]

Working outside 103 degrees today.

[Mike]

Damn. Yeah.

[C]

One more white person asked me, is it hot enough for you?

[Mike]

They're asking you this.

[Pat]

That seems kind of racist.

[C]

Nah, I meant. I don't know. And they're saying it just like that.

[Pat]

I'm like, what state you from?

[C]

Virginia.

[Mike]

Oh, yeah? What type of, like, you don't have to say exactly where you were, but what type of, like, working is it?

[C]

Car pusher, cart pusher? Walmart? Yeah.

[Mike]

Oh.

[Pat]

Oh, damn. You really. You getting it in. Your job requires you to move.

[Mike]

Hey, we got question. We got a question for you. What's life teaching you right now?

[C]

What's life teaching me? Losing weight is pretty easy if you just stop bitching and moaning about it.

[Mike]

Okay. Huh? When did you have the epiphany?

[C]

About.

[Mike]

About.

[C]

About two years ago. I was like, 420.

[Mike]

Damn.

[C]

Right, right.

[Pat]

National holiday.

[Mike]

No.

[C]

And I was like, man, yo, this is kind of crazy. And my brother called me a fat ass every day for like, six years. And then it, like, started. Then I'm like, okay, I started eating like you got some sense and stop eating like a fat ass and working out here. Just breaking a sweat, and it's pretty easy. Now I'm down to 290.

[Mike]

Good.

[Pat]

290.

[Mike]

Yeah, 290. And how many years.

[C]

It took? About a year and a half.

[Mike]

Damn, that's a lot of weight. All right, what's your. What's your advice to anybody on their weight loss journey?

[C]

Right down, then put the fork down. You know, you can eat like a normal human. You'll be. And you'll be fine. You know, you can eat like a note, like, eat like, how y' all eat Y' all eat normal. You could have. You could have a few cheat days here and there, but every day ain't got to be a cheat day.

[Mike]

What was the hardest thing to give up during your weight loss journey?

[Pat]

It sounds like everything.

[Mike]

That's what I'm saying.

[Pat]

I think he stopped eating. You go ahead. My bad.

[C]

I ain't gonna lie. It was really the snack, and I would get bored, and I'm like, damn, ain't nothing else to do. Might as well just eat something. Honestly. Honestly, after that.

[Mike]

Go ahead.

[C]

After that, it was just pretty cool.

[Mike]

Yeah. Has this affected, like, your dating life as well?

[C]

No, I ain't. And that. See, I didn't have a lot of confidence because a lot. Like, back in high school, I'm like, damn, don't nobody want to hunch on no meatball. So I was scared filming, but I didn't try none of that. Now, I did have an experience with another big person, and that was horrible.

[Mike]

You can't be picky, bro.

[Pat]

But, no, you can't be. No, I think what he was asking you is, like, now that you're 290.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Is the dating world different from when you were for fatty?

[C]

Yeah, it's a little different. More people look at me like I'm normal and not like, damn, I didn't heard a few. I didn't heard a few crazy things.

[Mike]

What was the worst thing you heard.

[Pat]

Here in the background? Damn, that's crazy.

[Mike]

I ain't going to lie.

[C]

The craze, like, the craziest thing somebody asked me, bro, is how do you put your pants on? I was like, yeah, life ain't real. Life ain't real.

[Mike]

What was. Did you answer the question?

[C]

I was like, just like you. One leg after the other.

[Pat]

Rolling around for you.

[C]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Congrats. Congrats on your weight loss journey, though, bro.

[C]

Appreciate it, man.

[Pat]

No, no, no, for real. That's like, look, because I feel like people shouldn't. Fat shame, but there's, like, a certain way. But there's like, a certain white weight where it's like, no, no. Health is a big concern. Like, 420, like, you not making it to the next 420. You know what I'm saying? Like.

[C]

Yeah, crazy. I played football back in school, but for some reason, I could just never, like, drop all the weight off.

[Mike]

Yeah. All right, bro. You have a good one, bro.

[C]

I appreciate it.

[Pat]

Congratulations.

[C]

Hello.

[Mike]

Yo, did you just get, like. Were you just, like, mid laugh when. Before you picked up how I saw.

[C]

Y' all was calling me bro. What's up, Pat? What's up, Mike?

[Pat]

So that made you laugh, bro, I'm.

[C]

A first time caller, bro.

[Mike]

Chill.

[Pat]

I'm just. Oh, so that was like a nervous, like you was trying to sound smooth, like.

[C]

Come on, bro, chill, yo.

[Pat]

Oh, yeah. It's not even your real voice. All right, come on.

[Mike]

All right. Got a question for you.

[C]

All right, bet. What's the question?

[Mike]

All right, you have. I always know. That's why when I ask, I say, I have a question for you. And I just pause because I know they're gonna say something.

[Pat]

Yeah, he trying to be smooth.

[Mike]

Yeah. All right, I got you. I got you. You have one week before you die. What are you doing?

[C]

I ain't gonna lie to you, dummy. I gotta try crap.

[Mike]

I got to like, the drug.

[C]

The drug.

[Mike]

Okay.

[C]

I don't know if y' all had it or like, like a dare program.

[Mike]

Huh.

[C]

I remember one time they had like a fiend coming to our school. And like, he was saying, like, it was the best feeling ever. I'm like, damn, if that's the best feeling ever. Sound a little cool. Maybe you want to try. But I know the effects of it, so I'm not going to do it.

[Mike]

You know, I feel it. Hey, I'm actually. I mean, it's a hypothetical question. That's what your. Your dying wish is, to try crack.

[Pat]

Do you ever see yourself trying crack? Like, without this scenario? Let's just go to your real life.

[C]

I mean, if I was born in the 80s, hell yeah, everybody was doing it.

[Pat]

So, like, crack got back in style. Like, some people started doing crack more casually. Would you do it?

[C]

I mean, if it was the same type family crack from the 80s, then. Yeah, because, you know, back then, 80s crack made you do whatever. You could build a house in 30 minutes, I feel.

[Mike]

So are you ground up? So you do think, like, it sounds like you might be influenced a lot by peer pressure. Do you think that does that affect your life today? Like, the peer pressure? Like, do you do things because other people do it?

[C]

Peer pressure? Hell no. I do the peer pressure.

[Mike]

What are you. What do you. Peer pressure Somebody to do before.

[C]

Weed. That's it. They're like, oh, smoke. I almost throw my. Hit this Damn Blunt.

[Pat]

Cosby Jr. Over here.

[C]

Come on, bro. Come on, bro. That's all Mike, bro. That's all Mike.

[Mike]

Oh, my gosh. A insulted you and then you went to the person. Person that sits next to him. Why don't you stand up to your own bully, bro? Don't. Don't bring me into this.

[C]

Oh, yeah, you most. Hey, bro. Kia now.

[Mike]

Nah. What the, bro? What you got to say to Keto? He'll hear it.

[C]

Nah, bro. Pat, bro, you gotta chill in my man's key, bro, with the fat joke, bro. You look like a unwell taking care of Draymond Green.

[Pat]

Nice.

[Mike]

All right, everybody, have a good one. Come on, bro.

[C]

Chill, bro. Chill, bro.

[Mike]

Unwell T. Taking care what it do.

[C]

What's happening?

[Mike]

What up? What up? Where you from?

[C]

Uk.

[Mike]

Uk.

[C]

America. But moved. Moved to the UK when I was young age.

[Pat]

Yeah, look like they got your accent, too.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, I know. You smashing it, though. Loving the podcast.

[Mike]

I appreciate it.

[Pat]

Does it get you creasing, fam?

[C]

No, none of that. None of that. It's good. That's a good loss, officer.

[Pat]

Good luck, good love. Cheerio. I got a question for you.

[Mike]

Number one.

[Pat]

What's a lesson you only had to learn once?

[C]

Hey, that's not the question I answered.

[Pat]

Oh, you said number one.

[C]

You said two.

[Pat]

I got you, bro.

[C]

Oh, oh, oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Never.

[Mike]

Don't.

[C]

Don't. Don't wife a spiteful bird and then cheat on her.

[Pat]

Do I say it again?

[C]

Don't wife, like, get in a relationship with a spiteful bird and then cheat on them.

[Pat]

A spiteful bird doesn't end well. Okay, why is this? Personal experience.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Personal experience. I was dating this girl for two years. The last year was a bit on and off. It was all good. It was in my final year when I was at uni or college, as you lot say. And she used to. Yeah, take me. She was working. She'd spend money on me, take me out, buy me nice things. And then we broke up for a bit, and we got back with her. I got back together with her, and then she found out I cheated the first time around. And, yeah, she. I found out things, and she. She was going on holiday. Being with other people. Yeah, it was mad. It was crazy. Crazy. So never again a ratio of a spiteful bird.

[Mike]

But you cheated, though.

[C]

Who, me? Yeah, but then she. She went tenfold.

[Pat]

What'd she do? What's.

[C]

Oh, it's math. Going on holiday with the girls. I'm gonna leave it as that.

[Pat]

Oh, she went on holidays with the girls. Like, so she cheated back.

[C]

No, but, like. Like, aggressively cheated back.

[Pat]

What's aggressive? What'd she do that's different than what she did?

[Mike]

And what she's doing is with. When you guys are not in a relationship, right?

[C]

No, no. This is when we Got back together the second time.

[Mike]

Okay, so what you do then?

[C]

Go ahead, just go on a holiday, cheating on me, going out with her girls, Turn off her phone. The craziest of crazies. She took my playbook and yeah, she took it to a whole nother level.

[Mike]

Still haven't said what she did. You keep matching girls.

[Pat]

You keep mentioning girls and keep like mentioned like aggressively you said. Yeah, what exactly did she do? Because you had sex with somebody else and it sounds like she's doing the same thing. So it sounds even to us. Unless like this aggressively you explain is something else you're not telling us.

[C]

Aggressively is just like a lot, a lot happened. A lot.

[Pat]

Like you say, yours only happened once.

[C]

A few times. That when I say aggressively, I mean it was like it was happening like it wasn't just a few times.

[Mike]

A lot, a lot.

[Pat]

So, okay, how many girls, how many girls did you cheat with? Let's, let's count here.

[C]

Five, maybe less. Four.

[Mike]

Four. Five.

[Pat]

Okay. Okay, so. Oh, she's aggressive. Oh, so how many, how many guys do you think she cheated with?

[C]

I know of at least three occasions.

[Pat]

Wait, so you only.

[C]

It's probably more. It's probably more.

[Pat]

But you.

[C]

And let me add something. When she found out I cheated, she called. She called my mum to tell her I cheated, but my mum never liked her, so she didn't care.

[Pat]

Okay, I'm just trying to figure out how than three, huh? How's five more aggressive than three? If you cheated five times and you only can say she cheated three because that's a number you gave us. So I'm guessing that's what you can.

[C]

Yeah, but like three occasions that she told me.

[Mike]

So did you tell her about all five occasions?

[C]

No, no, no, she didn't know about those. She knew about like one or two and a few messages here and there.

[Pat]

It's just different.

[Mike]

It's just different.

[C]

Girl does it.

[Mike]

You cannot choose how somebody gets their get back.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[C]

No, no, no. You, you guys are only saying no, it's not cuz you got girl that listen to it. But I know in your head you're thinking, yeah, it's not as bad as like when fellas.

[Pat]

No, you must know. Your girl must be an eater. That's what's going on. You know what your girl do? That's what the thing is as well.

[C]

The thing is as well. I took her virginity.

[Pat]

Oh, so that's why it hurts like.

[C]

A little bit more. Yeah, like we were doing things for the first time together.

[Mike]

But you still cheated.

[Pat]

Did she take your virginity?

[Mike]

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

[C]

We. I met when I was like, 26.

[Pat]

Okay.

[C]

No.

[Pat]

We are not those people. You got it, brother. But listen. But it sounds like she just got her get back. Rightfully so. Yeah, rightfully so.

[Mike]

You can't. Like, if somebody pushes you, right, you can you punch them back. Obviously a punch is more effective than a push. You can't choose how somebody reacts to getting done wrong.

[Pat]

Yeah, just because you only had set, you had sex with five girls, and she probably sucked ten dicks, what, in two months span? None of them yours. They're probably all bigger than you, too. It's like, you can't blame her for that.

[Mike]

That.

[C]

Yo, yo, yo, what's happening, y' all, boys?

[Mike]

What up? What up?

[C]

I can't call it, man.

[Mike]

All right, I got a question for you. What's a lesson you only had to learn once?

[C]

Man, I'm trying to tell you, going through that phone, have my ass sit on the edge that bed sick.

[Mike]

What, you went through your girl's phone?

[C]

Yeah, it was back in 2019, man.

[Mike]

What'd you see on there, man?

[C]

What didn't I see? I saw messages, pictures, man. Enough to make me want to crash out.

[Pat]

What kind of pictures? Was she sending pictures or was she receiving them?

[C]

She was sending them, man. So long. A very long story short, man, I found out she was doing, like, only fans on the side while we was married.

[Pat]

Nice. Was she bringing home some money?

[C]

You wouldn't bring home nothing. She was out there getting dicked down for free.

[Pat]

Oh, she was having sex.

[Mike]

Oh, she was having sex.

[C]

Only fans, you said what?

[Mike]

She was cheating on you on only fans? Like having sex?

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[Pat]

How many videos she had on when you found it?

[C]

I don't know. How many videos you have, man, that's crazy. I don't know.

[Pat]

Is she still active, you think?

[C]

I don't know. I don't care. It's not my business.

[Mike]

Wait, wait, wait.

[Pat]

What a username?

[Mike]

What. What led you. What led you to, like, go through her phone, though? Like, what was, like, some of the signs?

[C]

Oh, man. So I would come home from work and she would just be wearing, like, random ass lingerie, and I'd be like, you know, what the is going on? But me being me. I was being. What's the word I'm thinking of? I was just, like, blinded by that.

[Pat]

Or. Or you're a ham. Who wouldn't ask a question. I wouldn't go to sleep if I came home, and I didn't know why my woman Was in random lingerie. And I asked her, and she didn't have like a valid excuse. Who's going to sleep until I figure it out? Like, how long it takes you to figure that out?

[C]

What you think I did?

[Pat]

So how many. But you said lingerie like it was multiple times.

[C]

And then I figured it out. That's what I did.

[Pat]

You wait till she went to sleep.

[Mike]

Wait.

[C]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Ain't that hard to figure out. Did she. Did she not like, lie and say it was for you?

[C]

Oh, yeah, she lied all the time.

[Mike]

So why didn't you believe that then? Like, what made you. What made it weird? It just. It was that just something y' all didn't do?

[C]

Yeah, it like for a little bit, yeah. But then it went away and then she just started wearing more frequently.

[Mike]

And were these scenes performed at your house?

[C]

No. Hell no.

[Pat]

They're gonna say hell no.

[Mike]

So she still have. She still had work.

[Pat]

That's what she's wearing a lingerie.

[Mike]

She still had work attire when she got home?

[C]

Oh, she was a stay at home mom. So she didn't really have no job. Well, I guess she did have a.

[Pat]

Job, but she had a blow job.

[Mike]

His men's mental health awareness month.

[Pat]

Huh?

[Mike]

Oh, yeah.

[Pat]

This happened 2019. Quiet. Leonard won a championship in 2019. This should be okay. Quite literally play for the Clippers now. He is good. It sound like you over. That's why he's saying it on the pot. But you. So like, how long. So, like, how did that breakup go? So you just immediately left her and it was over with?

[C]

Yeah, so it happened at a good time because I was in the military at the time and I had just gotten orders to San Diego. So I left her where she was at and I went to San Diego and that was it.

[Mike]

So she was making no money on only fans?

[C]

None.

[Pat]

How you know that?

[C]

Because I was paying for everything.

[Pat]

But how you know she wasn't making any money? She was making money.

[C]

This was prime covert times. The only money she made was from that damn stimulus check.

[Pat]

Okay, last question. What proof do you have that she didn't make money from only fast guys?

[C]

We had the Same bank account 1. No deposits coming in besides.

[Pat]

Oh, my God.

[Mike]

So she had to make like a. A couple dollars. You know, like she not. Not making a couple. Like a lot of money. And if she was making a couple dollars, then you should have saw those deposits from only fans, wouldn't you?

[C]

Exactly, I should have.

[Pat]

But why? Why would she use that card? Yeah, you can go to her cash app.

[Mike]

Card.

[Pat]

That's what I'm saying.

[C]

You know what? You might be on something.

[Mike]

No, no, no. It's the most logical thing. I like to say. Pat's a smart person, but I'm not gonna lie. He didn't say anything profound. It was like, the simplest, like, calculations, bro.

[Pat]

Listen, honestly, like, obviously, if she lied to you, that means she had already knew that she was gonna lie to you, so she put some backup lies in so that you would never find out about her biggest lie. So, like. Like you not seeing the bank statement. That's an easy thing for her to go open up a debit card and only her name, so where it only goes to her stuff. And if you saw if she was doing it that consistently because you. You never saw the account?

[C]

Nah.

[Pat]

You never looked up the account?

[C]

No.

[Pat]

So you just found out she doing only fans, and you're just like.

[Mike]

So she probably was doing it at the crib, brother.

[C]

No, we actually lived on base, though. Well, nobody getting on base without me knowing.

[Pat]

Yeah. Maybe the dude was already. You fight it out a lot today? It was Lieutenant Dick D.

[Mike]

Sergeant, back door, cuz. It. It just. I just don't Makes too much sense. The reason we're laughing, too. It doesn't make a lot of sense why she still had lingerie on. And she's like. I just feel like when people. When people are doing something sneaky, they try to hide it, and she's already trying to hide it. I just don't think she. It. It's an easy thing to take off the lingerie when you get back. Oh, my God. Damn.

[Pat]

America just got. Oh, damn. I think we just got Bob for the first time.

[Mike]

Goddamn. Yeah.

[Pat]

Huh? He's still here.

[Mike]

Yeah, he's still here.

[C]

I'm still here.

[Pat]

You get it?

[C]

I'm letting y' all get it out.

[Pat]

No, get it out, brother. Ain't no getting out. We helping you out. You don't think if somebody own the base, if. If you knew everybody was getting on a base that was coming on base and you knew she didn't have. You claim that you knew she had no money. Did she have a car?

[C]

No.

[Pat]

So she didn't have no car. You claim she didn't have that much money, and you think that she was leaving the base every day to go make content and then getting that content somehow, and it's not in your place.

[Mike]

And not making money for transportation.

[C]

Look. So it's way more to it. And I ain't about to tell y' all. Y' all can be flaming Me. So.

[Pat]

So you know something else and you're holding it back.

[C]

I know a lot more, but okay.

[Mike]

Hey, it's your choice, bro. You know, we're just going based on the information you tell us. Now.

[Pat]

He saw the video, so you know what, dude, it is.

[C]

I don't. I know who it is, but I don't see no videos. I didn't see any videos.

[Pat]

No, you had to. How you know. So how you know she has somebody else?

[C]

Because of the messages.

[Pat]

So you didn't see no videos of her having sex with nobody else?

[C]

I did not.

[Pat]

You just going off the message. So how you know she did? Only fans.

[C]

I knew the videos is out there because a reliable source told me these videos were out there.

[Mike]

Listen, girl.

[Pat]

And he is dicking her down.

[Mike]

All right, I'm glad you. It happened in 2019. I'm glad you. Are you in a new relationship now?

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[Mike]

How's that going?

[C]

Relationship happy.

[Pat]

We.

[C]

Are we expecting a baby right now?

[Mike]

Congrats, bro. Congrats, bro.

[C]

Still in the army? Army, brother.

[Pat]

Whoa, Navy. What you want?

[C]

Air Force.

[Pat]

Oh, are you still in the Air Force?

[C]

I am not.

[Mike]

Oh.

[Pat]

Oh, yeah.

[Mike]

You really good, man.

[Pat]

You doing real good for yourself. So I don't know why you're embarrassed about the story about being a ham at some point. That's what we were just talking about. Like, yo, your career is not based on what happened at one moment. You know what I'm saying? You doing good. We're just talking about. Just relate back to the honest one. Championship thing, man. You just got your first championship, bro. You're not underachieving.

[Mike]

Hey, congrats, bro.

[Pat]

Legend, bro. Top 75.

[Mike]

All right, bro. Peace. This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Knowing you could be saving money for the things you really want is a great feeling. Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can choose to bundle and save with the personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer availability, amount of discounts and savings and eligibility vary by state. Hey there, travelers. Kaley Cuoco here. Sorry to interrupt your music.

[Pat]

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[Mike]

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[Pat]

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[Mike]

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[Pat]

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[Mike]

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[Pat]

So don't just dream about that trip.

[Mike]

Book it with Priceline. Go to your happy price, Priceline. If you went on a road trip.

[C]

And you didn't stop for a Big.

[Mike]

Mac or drop a crispy fry between.

[Pat]

The car seats or use your McDonald's.

[Mike]

Bag as a place mat, then that wasn't the road trip.

[C]

It was just a really long drive.

[Mike]

At participating McDonald's. Here's a clip from B. Simone's podcast.

[Pat]

Hold on.

[Mike]

Everybody thinks that, oh, because you're connected to this person, then your life is just as grand as theirs.

[Pat]

Or you got.

[Mike]

Or you got it, or they helping you.

[Pat]

Baby didn't have a job. Living with my parents, a single mom.

[Mike]

All this happened to me this past year.

[Pat]

Jesus.

[Mike]

And then it's like to not have resentment in my heart towards you because I saw you doing. Do this for other people.

[Pat]

I saw you give a check to.

[Mike]

Somebody to help them through whatever they went through.

[Pat]

And it's like, God, like, nobody didn't.

[Mike]

Give me a handout. But guess what? That wasn't your responsibility.

[Pat]

God had to take me through that.

[Mike]

For my own season, for my own thing. I had to get my car repossessed. Jesus.

[Pat]

I had to go through the food stamps line.

[Mike]

I had to be on Medicaid because whatever he. I'm building my story, too. But it's like, as a friend who. Somebody who has it.

[Pat]

It's hard to digest.

[Mike]

They're probably shocked that I'm even saying this.

[Pat]

So wait, wait, wait. Can I say it? Jesus.

[Mike]

So you guys heard.

[Pat]

Somebody would be saying Jesus while I'm venting like that.

[Mike]

Do you know the worst, the funniest part about that clip? Right? So she's talking about, like, her. She was struggling and being on Medicaid and having a celebrity friend.

[Pat]

And B. Simone is the celebrity friend.

[Mike]

You're venting about me. And then the celebration. I'm screaming Jesus to you. It's kind of hilarious.

[Pat]

Subliminals, you know, you gotta. The thing about it, what I will say, I've learned. I. I still show love. There's. There's times where I'm not gonna say I show love to everybody. Like, okay, if you got a podcast and it just started off like, I'm not gonna shout you out on my podcast. Right.

[Mike]

Unless you like, I actually enjoy it.

[Pat]

That's what I'm saying. I'm saying you just started, like, you gotta. You got a. A post.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

They say we starting it and then you telling me to give you A shout out. But like, some people, the more that they get into their spot and then if they didn't get help getting there, they're like, they, some people are like wired to where they don't. They're not going to give help.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Especially if they've been exactly where you've been and maybe even a worse situation. So if you sometimes, like when you've been through a worse situation, not to say it's hard to feel bad for somebody, but like, after you do, like, you know, you look at them and like, find out more about their life, you'd be like, damn, bro, like, you actually ain't got it that bad.

[Mike]

So. So that's the difference. Right? That's. That's a good point. But now what do you say? Because she's B. Simone's best friend, right? So it. Could you watch your friend, your best friend, somebody call your best friend, be on like Medicaid and all these other things while you're this famous celebrity and stuff like that. I'm.

[Pat]

I'm not sure what she's saying. You know what I'm saying? I'm not sure if she's saying like.

[Mike]

She got a car repossessed.

[Pat]

Because like, like, right, she got her car repossessed. And maybe like financially, like, okay, it could be somebody like B. Simone. Like, you'll look at somebody's situation, they got their car repossessed, they actually need $7,000 to get it back. And then, you know, they don't have the money to continue the payments anyways, so they're going to end up needing you again. So like this 8009, just let it go.

[Mike]

I did see a whole bunch of clips and saying, how could you that be your best friend and your best friend, like struggling like that? And I think like, for instance, my best friend, friend, like some or even my friend is struggling. I'll show love and help out where I can help out. But it does come to a point where it's like, this is your seventh time asking me for a hundred dollars. Like, what do I supposed to do at that point? Because just me. Because there are some friends where, you know, you enable them a little bit too. They're gonna just keep coming to you thinking that you're the. Your. Your life jacket or your safety net. Right. I don't want to be nobody's like, nobody but my immediate family safety net. You know, that's like. And even at that point, you still want them to kind of go out there and make their mistakes and grind for their own Too. But it's just like, it's easy to say, oh, you can help this person. Because me, I'm not. I don't have money to like, to change anybody's life right now. Right?

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

So it's just like, I don't have life changing money. Every money. Every. The money I give you is like temporary help. If you're still struggling, you're still struggling next week. So it's just like, what's. What. Why is it my job to. Or why is it her job to like, put her friend off? She's Medicaid, repossession of a car and stuff like that. That means she needs more than just like, money to stop those things from happening. And if your friend is down bad, you. I'm not, I'm not gonna lie. You don't want them to believe that you're the one that's keeping them afloat.

[Pat]

Oh, God.

[Mike]

Like, that just sounds like, like, oh, she took over all my bills and this and that. What am I supposed to do now? Like, where's that hunger? Where does that hunger now come from? Because some people get comfortable, especially like in. Not even off of Beast Simone. Just like rappers and these celebrities that have, like their entourage, where they support their whole entourage and they never do anything for themselves.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Like, their job is, you know, just like, you don't do anything with the money that you're making. You're just around those who don't understand.

[Pat]

Like, like, like hills and valleys and like. Yeah, I had it, you know, three months ago. It was fourth quarter, but now I gotta, like, save up a little bit. So that little thousand, two thousand I've been kicking you, I need it back.

[Mike]

And I think some people.

[Pat]

Thank you.

[Mike]

I think some people don't understand, like, don't have that thing of, like feeling like a burden. Like, obviously you don't ever want to feel like a burden to family, but still you still want to have that in you. Where it's like, like, like, even when I was down bad, you know, not having the money, there'll be times I've been. I've asked my mom for money, but sometimes I've been down bad. I don't ask nobody. I'm like, yeah, I need to figure this out. It's like, I need to figure. I want. It's a pride thing, you know, I don't want anybody to know, like, that I'm broke or I don't have any money or some too. But it's also like, I know you're not, like, it's not your ball and you make a good amount of money. But what me asking you is me being a burden to your life already? It's like, like I don't want to be that. I don't want to ever feel like somebody, somebody owes me or like they're the reason.

[Pat]

You know, it's actually, I'm actually more willing cuz I've had friends that reach out to me for money. And I tell you the amount of money I give each friend is like how many times I've seen them up. Because everybody has their down.

[Mike]

Everybody.

[Pat]

Yeah, you're going to go through downs is life. But if I've never seen you up, why the would I give you $5,000? I've never seen you up my. Like there's no way you. My 5000 is the magic key. Key to you figuring it out. So this whole time in life, this whole 34 years, you needed $5,000 and you would have went, you would have went crazy. That's what the. You needed money. God damn. We never knew. So you telling me you're gonna be a millionaire off this 5,000 I got you? You gonna make this stretch little baby, huh?

[Mike]

There are some dudes that like there's from friends up that like, I know, like, I'm gonna get this money back.

[Pat]

Yes, them the dudes.

[Mike]

That's what I'm saying. Yeah. You know you're gonna get the money.

[Pat]

I got you like my sisters, you know that. Yeah, come on, man.

[Mike]

Like, if anybody like family wise, I honestly, there's more. With family, I don't really expect anything back. But I always like with people, I was like, I want it to be known what you're asking for. Like if you say, can I borrow or hey, I'm down bad. I need this. I need it. It needs to be. Be communicated because I'm the type of person that holds you responsible. Even if it's 20 bucks, can I borrow 20 bucks? I'm like, do you want 20 bucks or do you want to borrow 20 bucks?

[Pat]

Real? It's about, it's about the principles. Yeah, like how bad? Because I know you're gonna put it to good use. If you tell me like, hey, I need this for this. I'm more likely to not be like, hey, I don't even want to back because I can tell where it's going. Yeah, but you can't just like, can I get 500 year? What we, what we doing? Not about to walk in the hype boys with my mob. Hit me up like, yeah, Your boy just bought them. PDF boot. I just gave a 500. You said you had it, brother.

[Mike]

N. I have seen. I have seen a. A. A point. A point where somebody asked me for money, right? It was a. It was a decent amount of money, and I thought it was for a decent situation. And then the next, like, day I see on the story, and then they have a Glock and be like, just bought the two. I was like, did he just use my. To buy a gun? And it's like, I don't know how to ask. Like, all right, this is flexing with a. A gun. A little ass gun show, Mike, The.

[Pat]

CIA playing guns in the H. You work for the government only if you use it to get a gun. Little. No, don't buy no groceries for your mind, bro. Yeah, that's worth more than a loaf of bread right here, my boy. I should get you all the loaf of bread, actually, if you got that. Everybody, loaf of bread. That don't got that. That's your loaf of bread with you. Hey, remember, if they look at you, you gotta use it, bro. It's gonna kill you first.

[Mike]

One of my friends was telling me about one of their friends getting robbed in. In Brazil or something like that, right? Yeah, and this and that. You know, we're at top. I was like, yeah, somebody's robbing me. I'm just, you know, if they have a gun point at me, I'm. I'm not. I don't have a much pride to be like, just, here you go. Right? But. But she was saying that he didn't, like, they didn't have a weapon on them at first. They might had a knife or something like that. I'm like, if.

[C]

If.

[Mike]

If no weapon is presented. And my friend thought I was kind of being an idiot for this. Like, oh, why would you want to fight this person if. Or you. You defend yourself. They don't have a weapon. Like, no, you have to show me you have something. You're not gonna pump fake me with, like, your hand under your shirt. You know what I mean?

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Like, I have to see there's a weapon, there's a threat. If not, then I will. I'm gonna have to, like, defend myself at that point.

[Pat]

Imagine telling a Kona, like, listen, bro, I'm all for giving you this MacBook. Yeah, yeah. Everything I got on me. You just gotta show me that that's a gun. Because if it's not, bro.

[Mike]

Yeah, you have to.

[Pat]

Oh, okay.

[Mike]

It is. Yes, a gun. Here you go, brother.

[Pat]

Bro, but that's Not a gun. I'm going to beat your ass.

[Mike]

Call the ambulance.

[Pat]

Not for me.

[Mike]

No.

[Pat]

Real.

[Mike]

Nah. You have to show me because it's.

[Pat]

Either slip my throat, bro.

[Mike]

Yeah, what's your throat?

[Pat]

Slip my throat.

[Mike]

With what? The knife?

[Pat]

It's crazy.

[Mike]

You can't say no. You can't say slit. The way you paused on this podcast. You can't say slip my throat without any repercussion.

[Pat]

More mature, he said.

[Mike]

Now we're getting mature.

[C]

You don't.

[Pat]

You don't want to rise after the t pain.

[Mike]

You want to stay this.

[Pat]

You at with it?

[Mike]

N. Pat is where you at with it.

[Pat]

Men's Mental Health Awareness Month.

[Mike]

Thank you, N. You are the ultimate gaslighter.

[Pat]

Okay, this y' all watching in real time, man. Crabs in a barrel. I'm back. Pause. You getting one too much. It.

[Mike]

Oh, you saw that Stephen A. Smith was talking about Giannis. He basically was saying if Giannis doesn't win another ring, think he's an underachiever, basically. And it's, it's a strange thing that's going on in any sport, even like boxing and stuff like that. I feel like when people don't reach that, like the, like what's the gauge? But let's just start in the. On the Yanis thing, like, if he only wins one ring, I think he's still overachieved in the NBA or he still achieved something in NBA. I don't think somebody's an underachiever because what is the baseline then? Where's the, like where do you go where you're overachiever?

[Pat]

You go, you go nowhere. You're always going to be like downplayed by any narrative.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

I'm saying you can look at LeBron's career and he's still like battling these so called ghosts that they're putting them up against. The thing I would want, this would change the whole game right here. I hope somebody make a clip out of this. This will change the whole game. We should have like an announcer award, a commentary awards, like real awards, a set award to be like, like, yo, this is your championship in this category. Or. Or who, like whatever it may be, like, let's really start counting sps, you know what I'm saying? If we gonna take it there. That way the same type of pressure can be put on them. Right. So like, let's say, let's say Stephen A. Smith is a seven time, you know, champion of what he does, then his word will weigh a lot more. You know what I'm saying? Like hey, you've been, like, the most right person.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

For this long. Your word ranks over somebody that won one championship, and you can call them an underachiever.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

But you ain't got no championships.

[Mike]

But even. Like, even compare. Just even do that with numbers. Right. Would we say Shannon Sharp's nightcap is more popular than Stephen A's, like, self podcast?

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah. So will we say that he doesn't have a popular podcast because it's not bigger than this podcast?

[Pat]

What do we say? You underachieve.

[Mike]

Yeah, it's just like.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

I don't know the narrative. It just, like, makes it seem like if you don't win five championships, you're like, your NBA career was a waste.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Or if you don't beat the top boxer. Like, even. Like aerospace losing to Bud Crawford. Right. In boxing.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

People could now call Spence a bum because he lost to the. The. One of the very best. In a sport where only one person can win. Like, it's like. It's like. It's one of those things where it's like. It almost makes you not want to. Like, you. You get mad at these other boxers for finding nobodies. Because now if I fight or somebody and I lose, y' all gonna call me a bum because I lost to somebody that's just better than me. Right. Or even better than me on that day.

[Pat]

Some people. Some people get more glory for not ever getting to that point and losing. You know what I'm saying? Like, it was, man, kill me today. There's, like, Kobe and TMAC arguments. Ew.

[Mike]

Yeah, I saw that.

[Pat]

What the is that?

[Mike]

I saw. It was with the people.

[Pat]

Switchbots. Ill. Kobe would have won five championships with Yami.

[Mike]

Yeah, come on, now.

[Pat]

I mean, but it's just, like, the person that doesn't get there, and you can't see them ever lose at that point. You can't really diminish them. And sometimes those. Those people are bigged up. You know what I'm saying? Like, okay, if a. Like Brandon Roy sometimes get held in higher regard than James Harden to somebody's eyes, you know, I'm saying, like, man, Brandon Roy would have been better, but, like, yo, this person's here, and they're doing it for you, and they've already won something, and there's so many people below them that haven't done it or even been to where they are, so you won't even acknowledge that.

[Mike]

I think there's just too many definitive words in sports broadcasting.

[Pat]

Yes.

[Mike]

And the serums like, bum. Because Somebody can have a bad game. He's like, no, he was a bum that game. Right?

[Pat]

Yeah, he's a bum. Boom.

[Mike]

Yeah, he played bad. He's or he's. Or he can have, you know, terrible games and he's not in the NBA. He's just not NBA caliber player. Right, right. But there's some things, there's like, like words like he's not the greatest of all time or greatest of all time or he's a. He's like underachieved in his career. I think Giannis came from the slums of, of Greece to NBH and he won a championship. Yeah, it's like, that's already overachieving. You know, I mean, I think, I.

[Pat]

Think the problem is everybody gets compared to the larger scale of like, okay, like LeBron.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Kobe and Jordan even like, how many rings you got? Because, because like, for me, like, I don't watch basketball the time. You know, like, I'm not. I don't watch too much sports and. But like, if I think Giannis, I'm like, oh, like he should have more rings.

[Mike]

And yeah, you would think that. But then he's underachiever and.

[Pat]

But like, yeah, people expect a lot out of it.

[Mike]

It's just so hard to win and it's just so hard to win championship.

[Pat]

There's. There's so many athletes that are being created specifically for these sports.

[Mike]

There are literally like main. People are mating with their partners to have kids that are going to be good at sports.

[Pat]

It's a woman's basketball player that's six, five right now that's staring at a dude's basketball player that's six, seven. And they just can't wait to make five babies. Yeah, those kids are being created for this league. So this is the best of the best. So like, the talent margin is going to keep getting. That's why so many. That's why so many different scenarios.

[Mike]

OKC and Pacers in the finals right now.

[Pat]

So many good basketball players. Like, if you took Jackson, Jalen Williams and put him back to where like Alan Iverson and playing, he'll be a damn all star. He'd be a legend. Like, there's so many different athletes now, bro.

[Mike]

Like, bro, it is so hard to win a championship, to get to the championship now. It's just like, just put it like this.

[Pat]

If you, if you want to judge NBA players which, what you can, that's what they get paid for.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Part of that. Let's. Let's throw that out the way I.

[Mike]

Think they're important for the NBA. It gives a. Everybody likes debating stuff, right? I like debating games. I like debating stuff like that. I don't like debating people. People's overall.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Like. Like underachie because they achieved. Right. Like in perspective of, like, if you want to be called the greatest of all time, even the Kobe, LeBron, I mean, the LeBron Jordan stuff. Yeah, go ahead. That's like a all time versus all time type of.

[Pat]

Or compare people. Yeah, that's the better thing. So if Stephen A. Smith says Giannis is underachieved because Jokic is over, like, done something better than him. That's always been the thing to me. Like. Like what? Who's better than. To me, like, who's better than Giannis in the league right now?

[Mike]

At his position.

[Pat]

At his position and at what he does and definitively, like, who hasn't won? Nobody's won more than one.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And everybody keeps winning once. Might be a new champion this year, and then it's gonna be now SGA in that conversation. So in two years, SGA underachieved after the Cavaliers win a championship. And Donovan Mitchell, like, it's. It's too. It's too much talent, bro. Just because. And like, people gonna start getting judged. What if we judge humans the same way, right? Like, what if the. The first day I met you and I saw you interact, you was a ass? And I always brought that up.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Like, bro, you got a family and everything now you're doing good things. But I remember you being a ass, and that's why you're not top five. Does that then solidify, like, championship rings to identify people as the greatest of all time, then I feel like. No, I definitely feel like it's part of it.

[Mike]

Yes. Part of it. Because that's one here and there. Because you're in the sport to win. So obviously it's like, if you don't win a championship, you didn't achieve that goal. Right?

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

But I do think championship winning is everything. But it's also like, you. There only could be one winner. And I think you just have to come to, like, to the grips with that, everybody can't be a champion. There's just. And that's just it. And I think once people realize that and just enjoy like, like the talent of the game, and then if you happen to win a championship, this is like, it's just. It's just a. Such a rare thing to happen where I can't be mad at somebody or say somebody is a bum because they didn't win this thing because it's such a weird thing to have.

[Pat]

And we're. We're getting in stage. Like, the media is up because, like, you can win a championship and they can. They're like, not counting it.

[Mike]

Yeah, exactly. Like, there's some so up.

[Pat]

There's some people that look at Kobe Bryant and be like, well, he got them two. For real. Them two. LeBron got four final. You know what I'm saying, though? That's a debate. Or they say Steph Curry didn't get Finals MVP KD championships or LeBron winning in the bubble. Yeah, LeBron winning the bubble. Then you got people that's. It's going to get even worse because people are going to win one. What about those people that win one? And then those people are going to start getting discounted. Like Alan Iverson and Charles Barkley got discounted because they never won one. And then now it's going to be people that, oh, you never got to one. Oh, you only won one. Like, that was lucky.

[Mike]

It's a bubble.

[Pat]

Or it was just whatever year. It's like always gonna be some. So it's. It's gonna get more. Even more up.

[Mike]

I kind of also. This kind of leads me to the. I saw Shannon Sharpen and Jim Jones arguing on.

[Pat]

Yeah, I saw that too.

[Mike]

And it was. The argument was that Jim Jones was saying he was more influential. Influence. Influential.

[Pat]

Influential.

[Mike]

Influential. More influential than Nas.

[Pat]

Jim Jones said he was more influential than Nas.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Oh, all right. Anywho.

[Mike]

But. But the thing is that I. I can't say he's wrong, and I can't say he's right in that situation, because I. I think there. There was a point of, like, rapping wise. You can't really compare. Now it's just a. Just a more accomplished rapper.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Me personally, I did get a lot of influence from Jim Jones. Just that. And I'm not gonna say Jim Jones more of that dipset and the Jim Jones. Like, I looked up to them, the way they dressed and everything. Anything. Right. So can I say Jim Jones is more influential to me than Nas? Yes.

[Pat]

Influential doesn't mean best.

[Mike]

Yeah, it doesn't mean best because if.

[Pat]

You go like, let's rank Allen Iverson as a player in the 2010s. Right. He probably. I don't know, he gotta be top five. But he's not Tim Duncan, Kobe, sh. Right. You know what I'm saying? Maybe he's fourth or fifth on that list, whatever it may be. But he's the most influential at that Time. He's.

[Mike]

I think Allen Iverson is probably the most influential player to me to too, as well.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Because just like. Just like the style and just everything I always look at, it's not about.

[Pat]

Who'S the greatest rapper, who's the best rapper. So I think some people. Some people just view those words as. That's what's the problem.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Shannon Sharp thinks influential. Probably me in. In rap. What else could it mean? But who's the best? If you say influential, because that's all rap is supposed to be, is about who influenced the game. But sometimes rap is number two. Everything has numbers.

[Mike]

Yes. Numbers. Yeah. For sure. But I just think, like, nine platinum.

[Pat]

Albums to zero is crazy.

[Mike]

The reason why, like. The reason why, like, players like Stephen Curry are influential is because people can see he doesn't. His stature doesn't seem like it's like that of, like, a LeBron where it's like, unachievable.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Alan Evers was that, too. He just seemed even. Alanis is like 6, 1, 6 2. But he just looked so tiny.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

And was balling out there, you know, Relatable.

[Pat]

Relatable body. Like, it's like Lamar Jackson. Like, Lamar Jackson is up there. And, you know, he's probably doing NFL interviews. Like, how I would do it. NFL interview. Like, I'm gonna laugh at the. I'm not answering that. He played cool, just like somebody that you went to school with. So it's like he's influential. You know what I'm saying? It was the same thing with Michael Vick.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Just influence. Especially, like somebody that looked like a lot of people.

[Mike]

Especially when somebody doesn't have, like, the craziest attributes. Like, I know I'll never be able to jump like Zion Williams or LeBron James or anybody, but I can shoot. I. I can shoot the ball.

[Pat]

Right.

[Mike]

Like, I can learn how to shoot really good easily. It's something you can't, like, got is a. A talent you can kind of work on. You can work on jumping high, but there's always that limit of where you're gonna, like, strengthwise and everything you're gonna get to.

[Pat]

I mean, I can tell you could go watch, like, LeBron James 100, like, 100 best plays of his career. And I guarantee you, like, I would say, like, 99 of human beings can't do 99 of his. His top plays.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Like, you might be able to do the Dwayne Wade jump alley when he laid that up when Dwayne Wade threw a full court. But that's about it. Every other one is like a dunk or a big ass block. If you go to Steph Curry highlights, it might not look as smooth as when he do it, but like you can get it done. Like I seen like the some of the worst shooters string off 11 threes in a row like God damn, that nigga is on fire.

[Mike]

You know what I'm saying?

[Pat]

And that's like the first thing person you probably think of is like damn, Steph Curry. I'm Steph Curry. You know what I'm saying? You don't really think like damn, I just Lebron these niggas. You're five seven. That is not LeBron. That's Ty Lawson, nigga.

[Mike]

This episode is brought to you by Greenlight. Get this.

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Ryan Reynolds here for Mint Mobile.

[Mike]

Now I was looking for fun ways to tell you that Mint's offer of unlimited Premium Wireless for $15 a month is back. So I thought it would be fun if we made $15 bills, but it turns out that's very illegal. So there goes my big idea for the commercial. Give it a [e-mail] Switch upfront payment of $45 for three month plan equivalent to 15 per month. Required new customer offer for first three months only. Speed slow after 35 gigabytes of network's busy. Taxes and fees extra. See mint mobile.com Race the Rudders.

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[Mike]

Raise the sales. Captain, an unidentified ship is approaching. Over.

[C]

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[Mike]

Is that an enterprise sales solution? Resources reach sales professionals, not professional sailors. With LinkedIn ads, you can target the right people by industry, job title and more. We'll even give you a $100 credit on your next campaign. Get started today at LinkedIn.com results. Terms and conditions apply. Do y' all believe in the right person? Wrong time, right person.

[Pat]

Wrong.

[Mike]

Of course you do. You believe that?

[Pat]

Hell yeah, bro. To me, like especially no. I hate doing like the man or woman thing. But personally, as a man, I. I cannot have anybody around while I'm struggling.

[Mike]

You feel like that?

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Unless you were already around before I started struggling.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Why am I struggling? But for real, you bad luck. But no, like, if I'm struggling or, or I know, like, man, I got a couple phases to go go before I get to where I want.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And I know that it's going to change my mindset a little bit. And maybe I like you right now, but like where my mind is going, like, I don't know if your mind's gonna go there. And I might not be attracted to you in a couple months because I'm moving. I'm actually going across the country.

[Mike]

I think it is, it is that it is the thing in relationships when you're kind of in that grind mentality and you're trying to like, you know, it takes time to get what you want to go. And it takes like actual boots on the ground, late nights and like that to kind of get where you want to go in. You might not have enough that energy to give to, you know, to a woman or whoever you're with or your partner. And it does get kind of, it's kind of like a double edged sword because I do think there is time. There's always going to be time. But then you might not see it in the moment because especially when you're stressed about some and then your girlfriend or whoever you're with at the time then adds a more stress to that. Yeah. As a guy, it just, it does make you want to crash out sometimes. I say, like, I walk out the door and just like leave. You know, it's just like, it's so much easier to leave in those situations.

[Pat]

But you can't grind. I remember I was, I was working two jobs and then I was also like uber driving.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

You know, I was like, but if you got a girl in that situation, you walk in the house at like 8pm like, damn. I usually don't fall asleep till 12:31 anyways. Let me go hop in the car and go make some money. And you got some girls staring you in the face like, what are we gonna eat today? So not only am I not making money, you about to make me spend 80 on sushi at Kawa on a Wednesday night.

[Mike]

But come on now. I can't use that excuse either though, because I have seen dudes that are broke and they still entertain multiple women as well.

[Pat]

No, they be getting it done too. I didn't see some dudes like, bruh, I'm done. Seen some dudes get some baddies. They ain't got no car, no house.

[Mike]

No, that's true talent.

[Pat]

All they got is man tattoos and a pair of Reeboks. Wear Reeboks all the time. I know they AIs, but come on, bro, look at them. No, for real, bro, that. You ever see somebody in a situation and you just like, bro, how you.

[Mike]

Know I do like, bro, see a.

[Pat]

19 year old, he got like a 2024 BMW. Like, bro, what the. Like, yeah, man, just traded this one thing.

[Mike]

And it doesn't even come from a place of like jealousy. I think it's more of a like genuine interest. Cuz I. I pocket watch people sometimes. Right.

[Pat]

That's my favorite thing.

[Mike]

But like mentally like it's more just like to be. I'm very like just like curious about stuff like that.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

And like even when they say like, oh, kai, that had 700,000 streamers, I mean subscribers that month, he was doing the. I'm like, I pull out my calculator and be like, yeah, one sub is this. I'm like, oh, that's a decent amount of money.

[Pat]

This thing got a pocket watching calculator?

[Mike]

Yeah, you got to.

[Pat]

I got, man.

[Mike]

Yeah. You start. I do the, I do the calculations about everything. I look at people's patreon sometimes and just like look at the light because you know something's not visible. So I just look at that like the likes or comment.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Like, oh, they probably making around like this much. You know, that's dope. That's fire.

[Pat]

Sometimes it like it influenced you because it's like, damn, damn, this dude makes that much more money than me up.

[Mike]

No, I think, I think people think that maybe look at competition as such like a bad thing sometimes. Like there are podcasts. Like I think all podcasts can succeed at the same time. Right. They're going to be the ones that fall off. But the podcast we've been on, I want them to keep growing, but I also want to get is there above a level above of us. I want to get to their level and more past them and they're probably.

[Pat]

Looking at you crazy as hell. Somebody has a podcast right now and doesn't to want. Want to be better than Joe Rogan or Joe. But so what I'm hearing. Yeah. Is you're doing it for analytics. Now how can that pocket watching for analytics be used in the real world? Pocket watching for analytics saying like, you seen some dude spending some money? Yeah. How you pocket watch to like I.

[Mike]

Start doing this, a couple things out pocket watch.

[Pat]

We got to help the viewers, you know.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Pocket watchers out there.

[Mike]

It depends. Especially when the times I was going out a lot, right? They, you know, the first one is, like, seeing what they got on, right? You can already say how much. Like, you know, we all buy clothes. We know, like, the.

[Pat]

Listen, I'm going right to your shoes.

[Mike]

You know, the range of, like, you know, Because I knew a lot of dudes that have a lot of money and they don't dress the greatest.

[Pat]

Yes, they don't dress the greatest, but.

[Mike]

They still have expense. But they still got expensive on the shoes. It's always the thing. It can be in the shoes, but it. Like, I've seen dudes with. With, you know, Rolex is not. It's not a cheap watch to have. Obviously, they're fakes out there, but I'm assuming these are real, right? You can have a Rolex on and some, like. Some dirty, like, rock ports on, right? And, you know, some bung rock ports and some shorts. But I'm like, this person just might not care. But if I already know you're a person that kind of cares about fashion, then it's easier to kind of, like, pocket watch you. Because I'm like, okay, this cost this, this cost that.

[Pat]

I feel like you can't. It has to be like, the whole thing. I gotta hear him talk.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

I gotta hear about, like, what he does, and I gotta hear about, like, how he moves. I didn't see some dudes in some, like. Like, bum ass. And then they go hop into AMG after we done talking.

[Mike]

Oh, man, I would never assume that.

[Pat]

Yeah. Yeah. But I never. I just can't. Like, if I see somebody with a bunch of chains on, like, I don't think they're a millionaire.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Or if I see somebody with some bum on, I don't think they're bummy, but it's like, certain ways, like. Like, okay, you dress like a bum, but you don't know you dress like a bum, and then you trying to act like you got money. So, like this. It's like certain things that all got to go together.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Okay. I know you broke or you, like, trying to be modest with it. Like, one time we were shopping somewhere, and, like, the dude walked in with his family, and they didn't look particularly like. Like they was rich or anything. And then one of their sons was just like. Like, oh, there's the Travis scotch right there. And then the other kid grabbed it. It was like, okay, only one more item after that. And he was like, okay, they got it.

[Mike]

Yeah, you know what?

[Pat]

I'm Saying thousand dollar shoes. And then like, they picked out another 500. It was just like, okay, ain't nobody birthday.

[Mike]

It's harder to pocket watch for me in those situations, too, because again, you have to kind of care a little bit more in those situations. Like, you can't really, like, if I keep constantly trying to pocket watch you, like, the first time I see you, it's more like, like, I need to do something with the information, you know, I mean, like, when I'm doing, like, celebrities or something like that, or people in the same industry of me is really just to use for myself, I'm like, okay, maybe we should be at this level or to better understand we're doing a next deal with somebody what to charge and you know this stuff like that. So I don't think I pocket watch in that sense with just regular people. Just like, especially.

[Pat]

Especially if you see somebody with, like, either, like, similar numbers to you or maybe like, like numbers where you can project off of theirs.

[Mike]

Yes.

[Pat]

Like, oh, damn, if I did this, like, that's the first thing I'm doing with a podcast. I want to see how many Patreon subs you got, because I know what people regularly charge for Patreon, so I can guess what you charge for or go buy it myself to see. Like, okay, yeah, this is a standard one. This. How many Patreon members they got? Okay. They make 500,000amonth. What's the address?

[Mike]

I can rob them.

[Pat]

Man. Ain't nobody competing, Nick. Obviously it's going to end up segue into something else that we. We didn't talk about yet we should briefly talk about. So I was on my way. Oh, where was I? Oh, I was with Noel. We. Why was I in their car? And.

[Mike]

Oh, y' all showing Noel what.

[Pat]

What the studio was after He. After he performed in Milwaukee. And like, so you. I haven't been in the back seat of a car in a minute. So I'm, like, looking around and you just, like, become more aware of your surroundings. So I'm looking and I'm like, oh, this dude got, like, a flag on top of his car. He's driving next to us.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And then as I. He pulls up to the stoplight right next to us, and I look over and he's actually holding the flag. He has a wooden pole and he's holding it, like, on his dashboard, and it's going through his sunroof and he's using his other hand to drive.

[Mike]

Oh, damn.

[Pat]

Yeah. So, like, when he drove, the flag will be flying and I'm just like, bro, I don't think there's anything dumber than having an American flag in Milwaukee. Like, you in the Midwest. Like, can't even, like, who? Not America. It was like, I get there's other flags going around, but, like, who. Like, who. What are you representing instead? Like, obviously you're trying to annoy somebody at a certain time, because obviously there were protests going on at that time. And it just, like, it got me into the moment because I was to going want to ignore the Iran US Thing, because it's just whatever. But Donald Trump put on, like, True Social, and then he ended up tweeting the American flag.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And that's all he put on there. And I just realized, like, these been throwing up a set this whole time. They just don't use their hands.

[Mike]

You know what I'm saying?

[Pat]

They literally throwing up a set in our face. And it's just like, obviously, like, bro, we. We all in this country.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

So it makes no sense to, like, wave our flag in our country. Like, you're. You're, like, you're an hour from Sheboygan. Like, that's where the biggest American flag is at. Like, these waving flags everywhere.

[Mike]

I think the thing that's annoying sometimes with, like, the people that are, like, overly like, America, America, they only do it when other things are going on. They just don't do it unprovoked.

[Pat]

Yes.

[Mike]

It's always, like. It's always a counter to something, something. And I. I. That's the point that, like, gets me, like, bro, you don't even care about being what truly it is to be an American. You just care about putting down somebody else's cause to be like, America, America, America. It's like, bruh, America's a great country to live in, but it's like, you don't have to throw it in my face when something else has happened. This is not the. The main objective right now.

[Pat]

Hey, man, we here.

[Mike]

Yeah, we hear. We're not saying I'm American.

[Pat]

If y' all want us to look at other countries and be grateful, y' all shouldn't have progressed this far. Nobody tell y' all to stop. Y' all must have felt some pressure or some, like.

[Mike]

Let'S.

[Pat]

Let's give them rights. And. Yeah, I. I hope so. How long y' all gonna hold a down?

[Mike]

Nah, it's. It's interesting. The world we live. I think social media makes it seem like it's not that serious sometimes, because the way tweets will happen and boom, a bomb or something happened and countries are fighting and just like. Like there's memes about it on the Internet. So it's like, bro, are we at war? War? Like, yeah, like y' all bring it on. You know, people got the. What's the desi meme. Yeah, meet me in the street. So that type of like all these.

[Pat]

Memes until your cut. Your cousin that got that Camaro, you ain't about to see him no more. Soon it's time for duty, you know what I'm saying? Like, it's all like play, play games, chains until we really start needing soldiers. And you, you little 19, 20 year old, it's time to strap up.

[Mike]

It's.

[Pat]

It's interesting because we got enough people in America to where they could definitely be like, if you 27 and up, you good? Yeah, we got enough little youngins around here.

[Mike]

The ones making the views. I'm gonna go get down the first to get drafted.

[Pat]

Use them good ankles, them good hamstrings. It's time, brother.

[Mike]

You see. Say, so I saw in your rap video, you said you were a shooter. It's time to prove it, brother.

[Pat]

It's time to prove it. You say you.

[Mike]

All those hunting pictures you took with that. With them dead deers. Yeah.

[Pat]

You say your favorite song is head tap. Well, I got a job for you. Welcome to sniper school. I don't miss. It's crazy, but no, like the. Exactly. We're just becoming like, very insensitive.

[Mike]

Yeah, very. It's very easy to be. I even find myself doing that sometimes. It's just like. Like you see things on the Internet and you see people actually losing their lives on the Internet. And it kind of comes to like, damn, am I even supposed to be seeing this right now? Like, my. Is my brain, my. My consciousness supposed to be seeing this? This how we're supposed to develop as human. Where now you like, oh, I just saw somebody get the head blown off on the Internet.

[Pat]

Okay, cool. So my rule is if there's anything that's tragic going on in America or the world, I start to Google stuff. Yeah, I want to get more information. If it bothers me, I look up more information so I can find out. Okay, where do I do. I think this is going to be direct hit on American soil, like the retaliation or it'll be. So I do all that. So I know my rule is if I Google once or twice, that means the next person doesn't know what the they talking about. Because if I had to google once or twice, majority of Americans aren't Googling at all, then that means they're going off the first thing they. They heard or saw. And if I believe the first thing I heard or saw, I'd be. I'd be tweeting anything. I have American flags. Somebody quit their job yesterday. I can guarantee you that.

[Mike]

Yeah, that's.

[Pat]

Just remember that I would put money on it that somebody quit their job after the bombings yesterday. And it's just like, bro, y' all gotta. Y' all gotta chill, man. You gotta do some. Some research and stuff like that, and. And make sure y' all know what y' all talking about, but. But a little bit lighter. We're gonna talk about religion. Ah. Have you ever heard of a dinotology, a donatology? I want you to Google it because I want you, like, in real time to Google a dinotology.

[Mike]

A D o n A D a d O n. I T. Odontology is a religion. Is a religion founded by King Adonis, focused on celebrating empire women with curvy figures.

[Pat]

So it's basically a religion where followers worship big, curvy woman's butts. That's what it says. Like, bro, y' all, like, I don't usually do this because I like, I joke about this, and I want y' all to know I'm serious. Y' all gonna help.

[C]

Hell.

[Mike]

What the.

[Pat]

Y' all going to hell, bro. You know what I'm saying? Like, I feel like every religion got that, like, ultimate purpose, like, to serve and to do good. Like, bro, y' all going to hell.

[Mike]

Is it. It's too freaky of a religion, bro.

[Pat]

What the.

[Mike]

What do they worship to? Anything I want to see. I just said. Oh, it's like a actual. Like, the book of a donatology. It's a woman. Yeah. With big boobs and very curvy woman on the theme with her hands up like that.

[Pat]

Yeah. Fajitas.

[Mike]

That. What?

[Pat]

No, fajitas. For real, bro. Oh, okay. Real quick.

[Mike]

Okay. I mean, I guess. Guess. But what does somebody want? Is. What if somebody can be both, though? Can you be a dermatologist?

[Pat]

I think that's more of, like, a niche, like, subcategory that you should probably keep a secret.

[Mike]

I think it's weirder if they, like. It's a weird. It's kind of a strange religion, right? Yeah, I think it's more weird if you rep it. If you, like, die hard. Rep that.

[Pat]

Right. You know, I mean, like, if you dibble and dabbling.

[C]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Yeah. You went to, like, two services and, like, that. I don't know. Where they hold their services at? I don't know, the. The strip club or some.

[Pat]

I know the dynatology be sticky as hell. Damn. Hey, my page is glued together, man. Somebody had a prayer.

[Mike]

You know, you might want to go to. You might like. I just want to like, what are you like, you know, you giving offering and like that might be like throwing it the offering basket. Might be throwing it at the strippers and like that.

[Pat]

No, them boys be saying pray and spray. All right, now we got that out the way. It's spray time. What the N. Them boys freaky as hell. Okay, cool. Real quick tweet to go back to less serious stuff. Back to the war. This is my favorite tweet. One of my favorite tweets. 2018 from base Savage. Everybody know I'll serve crack before I start this country. Big facts. Just want y' all to know before.

[Mike]

Yeah, I guess.

[Pat]

Big facts. Yeah, because you technically have to. Because you have to go into hiding if you technically got drafted and then you got to do some underground. So there you go. Somebody said this is bad. I don't believe this because I. I love our soldiers. Not to say I believe in war, but like everybody that serve our country. Country I love. But anywho, somebody after that, I guess people was attacking him and stuff like that. He said here come all the handicapped who lost their arms from a grenade for a Camaro. My. It's not funny, man. That's not funny.

[Mike]

Oh, man.

[Pat]

Okay, last tweet of the week, somebody said why the nobody ain't tell me Sonic didn't have no lobby? I'm all in the kitchen this year.

[Mike]

Wait.

[Pat]

Oh, why the nobody told me Sonic ain't had no lobby. I'm all in the kitchen and no real.

[Mike]

No, I get. I get it.

[Pat]

If you never.

[Mike]

When you said Sonic, I thought it was like Sonic the Hedgehog for a second, but go ahead.

[Pat]

Sonic is funny. Cuz Sonic is like very good until you try it for the first time and you're like never again.

[Mike]

I like. I'm not going to lie.

[Pat]

Sonic is good food, Sonic.

[Mike]

I had a burrito. I had a breakfast burrito from there and it was fire.

[Pat]

Sonic is good, but you never go back. But you don't know why.

[Mike]

I think it's more because it's not readily. Like, why haven't you going back? Where's it we. Where's the Sonic near us?

[Pat]

There's a Sonic in somewhere and I know where it's at. Yes, by the Brewer.

[Mike]

By the Brewerson Stadium. Yeah, we don't live near there, bro.

[Pat]

You live 15 minutes away from me.

[Mike]

I'm not driving there in the back.

[Pat]

No, I just caught this alive. I have to Google it.

[Mike]

What? Everything is 15 minutes away.

[Pat]

What did you say? He said he don't live near Wal. Right?

[Mike]

A Sonic.

[Pat]

I'm about to look up a sonic drive. G. How. How far you think? Sonic away. I'm.

[Mike]

Bro, there's no Sonic. I'm about to literally put in my phone.

[Pat]

No, no, no. Mileage wise. Oh, 2.3 miles. Talking about we don't live near.

[Mike]

We don't live near one. That's not three miles. That's everywhere in Milwaukee, bro.

[Pat]

2.3 miles, bro.

[Mike]

No, you're lying, bro. I'm about to put it right here. I'm about to put home and then Sonic.

[Pat]

No, don't.

[Mike]

That's where I'm living.

[Pat]

You're at work right now.

[Mike]

No, it doesn't matter. Why am I going? I ate before I got here. It.

[Pat]

Take your personal life.

[Mike]

Coming to work hungry. And I'm.

[Pat]

Bro, I'm hungry as always. Coming to the hungry. I want some boys to know, bro. How can I be this angry if I don't eat?

[Mike]

How can I keep on my personality.

[Pat]

If I ate before the pie, bro? I wouldn't say. It might be like, would you rather do such and such? I'd be like, bro, I ain't give a. I'm chilling.

[Mike]

Anyway. This has been crash dummies episode 212. Appreciate y' all. Make sure you guys subscribe to the Patreon. We just dropped the episode on there real quick.

[Pat]

It's hot as in here.

[Mike]

I just want y' all know that.

[Pat]

Y' all might see us.

[Mike]

Maybe even for listening because we don't get enough.

[Pat]

Hey, it's hot as hell.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

I'mma let you know if you used to this. Look at it now. Savor it. It might not exist soon.

[Mike]

All right, y' all. Peace. It might not even it. They might have seen it it up or depending how listener calls go, it might be in the middle already. Am I seeing us on the different side in the middle?

[Pat]

Oh, yeah, that's very true. You might not see. This might be the last time. I'm not talking about the art. I'm talking about every. This setting all together. We might. We might have a new setting.

[Mike]

No, we are all right, y' all. Peace.