I’m Bored Of My Girlfriend - Episode 255

Summary

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Crash Dummies Podcast: "I'm Bored Of My Girlfriend" (Ep. 255) – April 22, 2026

Episode Overview

In this lively road edition of Crash Dummies, hosts Patrick “Pat” Johnson and Michael “Mike” Esiobu connect from Boston during their ongoing live show tour. Joined by recurring contributors like Gene and frequent callers (and a studio audience at times), the duo dive into everyday scenarios that spiral into tangents, jokes, and genuine conversations about friendship, relationships, masculinity, and overhyped social conventions. Episode 255 is shaped around listener call-ins, real-life anecdotes, and playful debates, including the headline feature of a caller who confesses that sex with his girlfriend is “boring.” As always, Pat and Mike keep the language loose, the takes unfiltered, and the laughs rolling.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

Life on the Road & Boston Culture

• The episode is recorded from Boston during their tour. There are riffs about Boston’s baseball culture, lack of diversity at Fenway, and the vibe at games:
  • "There was 32,000 people at that baseball game. I don't know if I could have rounded up 500 Black people there without taking some employees with me. No revolution in there. That was like a soft Klan meeting in there. Good people though." — Mike (02:18)
• Announcements about remaining tour stops: New York, Brooklyn, Charlotte, Portland, Seattle, Toronto, Detroit, and Cleveland.
• Merch and Patreon info provided in housekeeping.

Crowd Etiquette & Comedy Shows

• Mike and Pat discuss annoying habits at live events:
  • Being “too reactive” at shows, always responding to the DJ/comic.
  • Dealing with crowd members who constantly chime in.
  • “Yes, I can dictate how you have fun. But you're not about to be consistent through the whole show...I’m not trying to do all that shit.” — Mike (05:10)

Friendship Boundaries: Visiting Homes & Unannounced Drop-ins

• The group debates whether visiting a friend’s house is a necessity for real friendship:
  • Most agree COVID changed expectations about visiting friends’ homes.
  • “As you get older, there's no reason for you to pop up unannounced in my house.” — JD (07:16)
  • Mike reveals his ADHD and reluctance to host to avoid judgment about his living space.

Car Wash and Barber Shop Tangents

• Pat and Mike riff on the confusing instructions from car wash and the varying quality in barber communication and technique.
  • “A lot of America reads at a fourth grade level.” — Mike (09:56)
  • Barbers and chemistry: “If I'm a new client, nigga, talk me through it.” — JD (15:00)

On Being Called “Industry Plants”

• The duo shares a fan accusation about having two-parent households making them “industry plants.”
  • Both push back, noting many with tougher backgrounds have more success, and wealth doesn't mean sense.

Relationship Independence and Over-Planning

• Mike argues men in relationships deserve room for spontaneity and independence:
  • “I feel like men, like good men that are in a relationship got to fight back a little bit with your independence.” — Mike (10:53)
  • The group contrasts male and female planning styles.
  • “Sometimes I like to go to places and be like, damn, this shit is ass. Now I never have to have FOMO about it.” — Mike (12:01)
• Fun is often found in failed or unexpected nights out.

Humor & Friendship – Viral Clip on Loyalty

• Play a viral story about standing by a friend exposed for being with a trans person:
  • “You my freaky ass friend. I love you. Don't get freaky with me.” — Caller 1 (20:10)
  • The hosts affirm sexuality isn’t a deal-breaker for friendship, as opposed to criminal behavior or problematic political beliefs.

Call-ins: Overhyped and Underwhelming Things

• Callers give their takes on what’s overhyped:
  • VIP club sections (“just behind a bum ass sign”, 34:07)
  • Food chains (experience varies by location)
  • Sex (several callers, see below)
  • “Personal peace”/avoiding stress (55:33)
  • Missing pet posters and strangers’ pets (56:23)

The Core Call-in: "I'm Bored Of My Girlfriend"

• [38:05] A caller admits sex with his girlfriend is boring, and he finds no enjoyment beyond pleasing her.
  • “I remember [sex] happened so quick, and I couldn’t get it out. I was like, do I have erectile dysfunction?...I was very nervous.” — Caller 6 (39:13)
  • “What I enjoy most is seeing her enjoy it, but me, I’m like, eh.” — Caller 6 (40:21)
  • He’s okay with being “just friends” and contemplates breaking up, at Pat and Mike’s urging to pursue honesty and self-awareness.
• The crew raises the idea that he may be asexual (41:48), concluding he deserves happiness and should figure things out to avoid “ruining other people’s lives.”

More on Overhyped Sex (Second Caller)

• Another male caller (46:28) says sex is overrated — for him, it’s short, unenjoyable, and after he just wants to leave.
  • “After, I feel like I don’t want to be near the girl at all. She usually just pisses me off.” — Caller 7 (47:04)
  • Pat and Mike press for introspection: “If Mike doesn’t like ice cream, maybe he should try popsicles.” — Mike (49:19)
  • They suggest it’s fine if he doesn’t enjoy it, but to own that, not generalize.

Additional Call-in Highlights

• Regretting losing virginity (38:42) and regretting becoming a parent with the “wrong” partner (42:51).
  • “[Cheated] for two years though ... I started crying ... my heart thumping wicked, boy. I’m losing it.” — Caller 8 (43:56)
• What’s “funny but shouldn’t be” – e.g., gay men’s banter (with notes on not being disrespectful), missing pets, and more.

Social Media & Validation

• Mike opens up about hyper-focusing on negative comments despite overwhelming positivity online.
  • “It’s hard to get positives out of people ... I feel like it’s easy to get negatives. For somebody to come to you and tell you, hey, you doing a good job—it’s rare.” — Mike (60:06)
• The crew debates if you owe blanket support to friends’ endeavors (“Just not your target audience.”).

Rapid Fire: NBA/Referee Antics, Naming Kids, and Handling Bad Days

• Pat and Mike humorously analyze NBA player antics (Draymond, Pat Bev), referee pettiness, and what’s behind the “crazy.”
• Naming children after themselves: “My son will definitely not be a junior—highest level of dick riding a dude.” — Mike (63:07)
• On coping with bad days:
  • Pat and JD prefer cutting off a bad day with rest/distraction.
  • Mike prefers pushing through (“let’s see how bad this shit can get”), then resetting with sleep.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On watching a friend get exposed for dating a trans woman:

  • “You my freaky ass friend. I love you. Don't get freaky with me.” — Caller 1 (20:10)

• Analyzing boring sex with girlfriend:

  • “What I enjoy most is seeing her enjoy it, but me, I’m like, eh.” — Caller 6 (40:21)
  • “If Mike doesn’t like ice cream, maybe he should try popsicles.” — Mike (41:01)
  • “You need to, like, do some self-evaluation instead of ruining other people’s lives.” — Mike (42:00)

• On friends without house visits:

  • “No reason for you to pop up unannounced in my house. Why are you at my front door?” — JD (07:16)

• On nightlife and fun:

  • “I get enjoyment out of finding out this place was ass. Now I never have to have FOMO about it.” — Mike (12:01)

• On social media validation:

  • “For somebody to come and tell you, hey, you doing good? That’s rare.” — Mike (60:06)

• On coping with haters/commenters:

  • “You’ll never really see the hate in person. I don’t think people are brave enough to hate in person.” — Pat (60:53)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [02:11] — Boston riff, racial dynamics at Fenway
• [04:03] — Discussion on crowd behavior at concerts
• [06:40] — Is a friend still a friend if you’ve never been to their house?
• [08:39] — Car wash attendant confusion
• [10:53] — Relationship independence for men
• [15:00] — Barber shop chemistry
• [20:10] — Viral loyalty “freaky friend” story
• [38:05] — Main call-in: Boredom with girlfriend during sex
• [46:28] — Call-in: Sex is overrated
• [60:06] — Social media validation vs. criticism
• [63:07] — Refusing to name son as a “Junior”
• [64:26] — How the hosts end a bad day

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Tone, Style, and Final Thoughts

Pat and Mike maintain their trademark blend of candid, irreverent dialogue mixed with moments of introspection and vulnerability. The episode cycles fluidly between banter, relatable confessions, and wild listener stories — all peppered with streetwise humor and genuine laughter.

Fans of Crash Dummies will appreciate:

• Honest conversations about male friendship, expectations, and modern dating.
• Playful but compassionate challenging of listeners’ self-awareness.
• Behind-the-scenes reflections on the podcast’s grind, success, and audience.

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For New Listeners

If you’re new to Crash Dummies, Episode 255 is a representative crash course in:

• Unfiltered, rapid-fire humor and stories based on real-life scenarios.
• Deep dives into friendship, masculinity, relationships, and “overhyped” cultural norms.
• The interactive power of their loyal audience — callers often steer the conversation.

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Listen for:

• Multiple perspectives on what makes relationships, nightlife, and modern friendships work (and when they become overrated or stale).
• Endlessly quotable jokes and left-field analogies (ice cream/popsicles, club VIP, missing cats, etc.).
• Occasional wild turns into topics you didn’t know you cared about — until you’re laughing about them with Pat and Mike.

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Transcript

[Host]

Focus features in Blumhouse Obsession.

[Pat]

When I have a crush on a

[Caller 1]

guy no one knows.

[Host]

Be careful.

[Mike]

I wish Nikki loved me more than anyone in the entire world.

[Host]

Who you wish for? Obsession is 96% fresh on rotten Tomatoes.

[Caller 2]

I love you so, so, so, so much.

[Host]

It's blood soaked nightmare fuel.

[Mike]

Brooke's blood you put on her.

[Host]

You have been warned. Obsession. Rated R under 17. Animated without parent only theaters May 15 with special engagements in Dolby.

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[Mike]

He turned me up a little bit.

[Gene]

Yeah, I got you.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah. You is not real. You does not feel. You does not chill. Yeah, I didn't have to get it all. A friend even had to go hard at the bins talking all the and no friends had to kill the boss man. That's boss Stand all in with all in the s with the mol.

[Caller 2]

That's not what we doing.

[Mike]

Hello.

[Co-host]

The radio is for people who are driving.

[Mike]

I'll drive.

[Co-host]

Welcome to Crash podcast. Welcome to Crash Dummies podcast. You guys see us? We are currently on the road, actually.

[Mike]

No, no, no, no. This is my third bedroom.

[Caller 3]

This is what it looks like now.

[Mike]

I'm kidding.

[Pat]

Yeah, we on the road and you

[Co-host]

have to, you know, still shoot the pod and shit.

[Mike]

Yeah, we in Boston. You fucking knocks Boston.

[Co-host]

Boston in a random ass.

[Mike]

You fucking knock. I went to.

[JD]

I heard the accent.

[Mike]

Oh, you did? Yeah.

[Pat]

Why don't go to the bathroom.

[Mike]

We heard the accent amplified. Me and Gene went to Fenway park to see the Red Sox play the Tigers. And man, they very passionate about their baseball around here. I definitely see how the N word could be spewed around because there's no. When I say this, there's nobody to stop it. Like there was 32,000 people at that baseball game. I don't know if I could have rounded up 500 black people there without. Without taking some employees with me. No revolution in there.

[Caller 3]

No, not there. We not winning there. That was like a soft clan meeting in there. Good people though. Hey, they would. Maybe that was the pre meeting. Like maybe some people only go to that party and then like it section off to but There are clan members there.

[Co-host]

Anyway, welcome to crash dummies episode 255. I'm Mike and this is Pat right here, my partner in crime. And then we got Gene off camera over here.

[Mike]

Partner is crazy.

[JD]

I can't.

[Co-host]

You can't be my partner selection.

[Mike]

It's crazy.

[Pat]

Anywho, partner in crime.

[Co-host]

Oh, just quick house keeping thingies merch is sold out, but we still have the women's history century T shirts available page. Go to Crash Dummies live for the rest of the tour dates.

[Pat]

What's the cities we got left?

[Co-host]

We got.

[Pat]

By the time they hear this, New York. Oh, yeah.

[Co-host]

New York. Sold out.

[Pat]

Brooklyn.

[Mike]

Still got time to get tickets. Maybe, maybe not. I don't know. We can't tell the future.

[Co-host]

Brooklyn, Raleigh, Y. Pick it up, pick it up.

[Mike]

You won't see us. I'm not gonna lie.

[Co-host]

Charlotte, you guys are doing great. Portland, Seattle, all coming up. And then, oh, Toronto and Detroit.

[Mike]

So yeah, Cleveland, pick it up.

[Caller 3]

That's all we gotta say.

[Mike]

So you sent me a clip of somebody that we both know and they were at a concert. Yeah, a comedian's concert at that. And the. You know, when the comedians do that, I'm a standstill and let the crowd just rock. You know what I mean? Y' all love me so much.

[Caller 4]

And.

[Mike]

And the person that we know was screaming like, ah, no, he wasn't.

[Pat]

Let's. I'll give him a. I'll give the

[Co-host]

person a fake name.

[Pat]

Let's call it Brandon.

[Mike]

It was like, Brandon, oh my God. I guess we can. I guess we can say, no, no,

[Co-host]

no, no, it's fine.

[Mike]

No, no, no, we can't. He was like,

[Caller 3]

he know he can't

[Mike]

be doing that shit. But anywho, that it took me back, like. Cause I was like on both sides of the fence, like, if your friend want to have fun, let them have fun. You know what I'm saying? If this is how you interact at a concert, who am I to tell you you can't do that? Okay, but then on the other side of the fence is, nigga, why are you reacting to everything that DJ says? Like, the DJ say, make some noise seven times a night, and you seven for seven. You perfect attendance.

[JD]

Well, you just said you can't dictate

[Pat]

how people have fun.

[Mike]

But it's just like sometimes, like, yes, I can dictate how you have fun, but you're not about to be consistent through the whole show. Like, you make some noise. Ah, clap it up.

[JD]

Are you saying if you're. If you're there with them or in general.

[Mike]

Yes. If we there together, you can do whatever you want when you solo dolo. Like, I'm not trying to do all that shit. Had that person next to me up all night. You ever been with somebody at a comic show and they talking out loud?

[Co-host]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Pat]

It's always different because obviously people talk at our shows. Cause we're very, like, crowd interactive. But there'd be, like, comedians that don't have anything. And then the person would say their opinion on something. Right? And then the person.

[JD]

The crowd would then give a full soliloquy of, like, their opinion. Like, bro, why are you. Why you keep talking? Like, no pauses. No. No punchlines.

[Mike]

Yeah. Next thing you know, the comedian asking you where you from?

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Like, off proximity.

[Co-host]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Like, hey, where are you from? You know what I'm saying? It just like, bro, like, I wasn't doing shit.

[Pat]

Now, there was a dude at the

[Co-host]

show where he kept saying he was from Jersey.

[JD]

Yeah, Liberia.

[Pat]

But he was from Jersey.

[Mike]

From Jersey or he was from Philly. He was dissing Jersey. I'm not sure. But he did talk out loud. And he was cool going back, back and forth. But at some point, I said something that he didn't like.

[JD]

Yeah.

[Mike]

And he was like. And he caught an attitude. It's like, nigga, you've been talking out loud at my show the whole fucking time. Like, how am I not supposed to say something?

[Pat]

Oh, my gosh.

[Caller 3]

Come on now.

[Co-host]

I got a question for you. We asked this during the live show, but I don't even know if we ever got a response from the audience.

[Pat]

But can you call somebody your friend

[JD]

if you never been to their house?

[Mike]

I think so. Especially in this day and age after Covet. Yes.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Co-host]

Okay.

[Mike]

I've never been in Gene's house, but I would consider him a friend. You know what I mean?

[JD]

I guess I've never been in your new place.

[Gene]

I've only been there, like, not too long ago.

[Pat]

Yeah, that's. There's still time.

[Gene]

I've been to the other crib.

[JD]

Yeah, we've been to other crib.

[Mike]

Got it, got it, got it, got it. But you know what I'm saying? But like, I've never been to a house. I would still consider him a friend. I just feel like. Wait. I think Covet changed everything with that. Like, you just don't step inside people's houses no more.

[Pat]

As much I think as you get

[JD]

older, too, like you, I feel like there's no reason for you to pop up unannounced in my house. I just also like, I'm just in the neighborhood and decided to knock at your door.

[Pat]

Like, why are you at my front door?

[Mike]

No, you do that sometimes and you'd be like throwing me into a shock. You'd be like, no, you'd be like, I'm pulling up. I'm already downstairs. I'm like, what the fuck? Because I like, you know what I

[JD]

did to you that I feel like

[Co-host]

I don't think you noticed yet or you maybe just forgot as I put a. You know those little wipers things they give you at the car washes?

[Pat]

The dash wipes?

[JD]

So I put a dash wipe to make it like it was a ticket on your car.

[Mike]

Oh, that was you. I thought like, so what? I thought I. I thought I was walking. Cause I had walked in front of a group of people. I thought it fell out my pocket and somebody was like, oh, damn, he left already. Let me go put it on his windshield. Cause you want it. I didn't know you did that whole ass shit. I just don't not.

[JD]

That was so long ago too. You didn't say nothing about it. Then I started to feel forget too.

[Pat]

I was like, oh, yeah.

[Mike]

I was just like.

[Caller 3]

I took it as that. I didn't think it was no ticket.

[Mike]

But the other thing is I just don't like inviting people over my house because I have adhd and sometimes I. I'll leave something alone because it's bothering me. Yeah, I'm over here like making videos or thinking of something for a podcast or something. And I don't need you judging me and asking me like, why my vacuum is on my kitchen counter.

[Caller 3]

It's just like, it's there.

[Mike]

My.

[Caller 3]

Like, I was working on something. Hey, don't worry about that.

[Pat]

Speaking of car wash, you. You made a tick tock about this? About when you add a car wash

[Co-host]

and the person giving the instructions at

[Pat]

the car wash, their instructions are never really clear. Like, they'll be like, they'll give you a little nudge to the left. And it's like, is my tire straight or not?

[JD]

Or it's. Or the nonchalant ones. That's what I hate. There's a nonchalant.

[Pat]

What's that?

[JD]

What are they?

[Mike]

Car wash attendants, Car wash niggas.

[JD]

So the nonchalant car wash attendance is like, they don't really give like the

[Pat]

full motion of where they want, what they want you to do.

[JD]

It's like, if it's like move left. It's like a little bit like Boom, boom, boom, boom. Or like boom, boom, boom, boom.

[Co-host]

It's like, I don't know.

[Mike]

Yeah, I just don't like the nonchalantness. I feel like it's a very important job. Like this is a 30, $40,000 vehicle coming through. Something that could literally tear into pieces. And you just doing this, you know, you got the sign you trying to be too smooth. Like, bro, there's. I'm looking at this like it's 19, 20 year old K. It's like, what did you do in this company to get this position? It doesn't seem like you're good at. Because air traffic control, they get paid a lot, right. Obviously this is not as important as planes, but I feel like it's pretty important.

[JD]

Yeah.

[Mike]

You know what I mean? I feel like they underpaid or something. We got to investigate or see how hard it is. We could be actually. Just like. Because a lot of America reads at a fourth grade level.

[JD]

So that is like your stat of your life.

[Mike]

Because people don't believe it and people like, people like go through life.

[JD]

I haven't even googled this, so I, I'm just going.

[Gene]

That's why they made. Are you smarter than a fifth grader?

[Pat]

So you say we're. What did somebody say during the last show? Industry plans.

[JD]

I feel like we haven't made it big enough to be considered industry plans.

[Mike]

I think he's saying like industry plan. He says something about like our dads and shit like that. Like, hell no.

[JD]

Like, oh yeah, he was mad that

[Pat]

our dads were in our life.

[Mike]

Yeah, it's like, bro, it's people more successful than us with one parent household. It's. It's foster children more successful than us. You know what I'm saying? Look at Elon Musk's money, man. Look how dumb he looks.

[Caller 3]

Oh my God, he got hella buddy. I shouldn't even be talking about somebody with that much money.

[Mike]

Oh, I wanted to talk about relationship independence.

[JD]

Okay.

[Mike]

I feel like men, like good men that are in a relationship got to fight back a little bit.

[Co-host]

And good men that are in good relationships.

[Mike]

Good men that are in a relationship, you know, you're a good dude. You doing the right thing.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

You got a right to fight back a little bit. Like with your independence. Especially like when, when we go out, right? Like I've been in relationships when I went out and I'm on my phone more than I'm having fun because I'm like, update in the girl. Like, okay, I'm about to go to this Club. Damn. Such and such just left. And. And it's. It's partially our fault because we're very bad with details. Yeah, we. We tell everyone.

[JD]

Yeah, we're just going to the club down the street. Yeah.

[Mike]

But they over plan too. Like, how the. Did you know you were gonna be drinking at 9:20? Exactly. Like, how the do you know that?

[JD]

Like, I think also, as dudes, we don't care about the plans. There's been times we've gone out and, like, we don't know where we're gonna end up. It's just like, all right, we're just

[Pat]

gonna go wherever the.

[JD]

The wind takes us, I guess.

[Co-host]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Because that's a fun night. Sometimes I feel like in, like, prior relationships, the woman I dated would come back frustrated about the night because it didn't go exactly as planned.

[JD]

Yeah.

[Mike]

You know what I'm saying? And we have low expectations. I literally like to go to places and be like, damn, this shit is ass. Yeah, I get enjoyment out of here. Like, I found out this place was ass, and now I never have to have FOMO about it.

[JD]

I think anything can make the night to. The night could have been ass.

[Pat]

And then you see, like, two, like,

[JD]

smaller people get into a brawl, and that. That's going to be the highlight of your night. It's like, bro, that night was ass. But what the. At 2 o' clock when bars are closing, big ass brawl.

[Pat]

Well, I guess little brawl.

[JD]

Yeah.

[Mike]

The best. The best nights I had on with both of y' all before is almost.

[Pat]

No, I had.

[Caller 3]

I had both of y' all so crazy individually, though.

[Co-host]

Oh, my.

[JD]

Hell no. No.

[Mike]

But I almost had to slap the shot of a tonight night.

[JD]

They're like, okay, gotcha.

[Mike]

It's so engraved in your memory. It rarely happens as a grown man, because especially if you're trying to keep peace and trying to stay away from places that you can even get into it.

[JD]

I wasn't there when Gene was bucking up on.

[Mike]

Oh, man, that was a good night. Was that not a good night? That was a great night. That was a great night. That was funny of my best nights, especially, like, not to, like, brag and be like, oh, macho man. Like, oh, I can beat the out of anybody. The last three people that I've, like, almost beat the out of. The reason why it didn't happen because I was like, I'm gonna feel so bad if I beat the out of this dude. Like, it's like, not even close. It wasn't no dude. That's, like, built like me and like.

[JD]

Yeah, yeah. Very small individual.

[Mike]

Yes. It's like this dude is small. This dude obviously don't have it all up top. And it's like I'm just gracefully like, help him bow out of this because he don't know like, what he about to get into. And like, those are the best nights. Like, man almost beat the.

[Caller 3]

Like, I didn't go to jail.

[Mike]

Nothing happened. But in my mind I knew I would have beat the out this and that's enough for me.

[Pat]

Hey, he thought so too though, huh?

[Mike]

I hope so.

[Pat]

Yeah, I think you have to think that either if somebody that little is

[JD]

like, they either got a weapon that's like an equalizer on them or it's

[Pat]

just like that drunk and faded.

[Mike]

Yeah, bro. What?

[Gene]

It's always like, like, you know, somebody gets into altercation and the homie comes and like, intervenes and then the other homie comes and it's like, no, my bad.

[Mike]

No, that's. But that's how it's supposed to be. You're not supposed to be mad at the same time as your friends. Like, that's like, you don't do that, bro. You're supposed to make peace so you know if you got a fight or not.

[Pat]

So obviously I'll bring this up a different way.

[JD]

Barbers need to start being more verbal. I hate non verbal barbers. In terms of like, what they want you to do. Like, if they want you to like do puff your cheek a little bit. Some barbers would just poke your cheek and expect you like your shit to inflate.

[Mike]

Like, what, nigga, pause.

[Caller 3]

What?

[JD]

Poke your cheek?

[Caller 3]

Audio listen is going crazy right now. What the fuck is he talking about?

[Mike]

YouTube Got your back though, but you

[JD]

know what I mean.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah.

[JD]

Or it's like, I'd rather the. The barber tell me exactly what to do than to like touch the part where they want me to.

[Caller 3]

To move. Mike wanted aggressive.

[JD]

No, I don't want to be touched.

[Caller 3]

He said walk me through it.

[JD]

No, actually talk has actually talked me through it. Yes. Don't touch me.

[Caller 3]

Don't touch me.

[JD]

Don't touch the top of my lip. Telling me to like to do this with my lip or some.

[Mike]

Yeah, I think it's just like, I think barbers pride their self on chemistry with the client.

[JD]

Okay, Chemistry does get built when you go to your regular barber. Yes, but if I'm a new. If I'm a new client, nigga, talk me through it then.

[Mike]

No, I.

[JD]

Talk to me.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Caller 3]

No, no, no, no.

[JD]

Say words, Verbal. Be Verbal.

[Caller 3]

There you go, There you go. That's better.

[Mike]

But, yeah, but they definitely brag off chemistry. I hate when my biggest pet peeve is when I'm sitting in a chair and somebody else walks in, like it's probably the person that's next. And my barber tries to show off how well we know each other.

[JD]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Like, hey, Pat, I was telling them about the time we was cutting up in here. Remember that one thing happened? It's like, no, I've been here over a hundred times.

[Caller 3]

A lot of things have happened.

[Pat]

I haven't had a new barber in a while. But the times I do go to a new barber, that's the time that

[JD]

you kind of open up your camera a lot more just to kind of like to get like the mid cut

[Mike]

check and shit like that.

[JD]

I was pretend.

[Pat]

Like, back then when I had Snapchat,

[JD]

I would always just like open Snapchat and take like a pretend. I'm taking a video or some shit. Just so you don't feel like I'm putting pressure on him. That them cuts good or not?

[Mike]

No, they need pressure.

[JD]

Yeah.

[Mike]

I want to let y' all know that if you have a barber and you've been with them for a while and he goes a hundred cuts without up, and then you'd be like, damn, the last two cuts, this dude been cutting me like I'm somebody else. That's probably the reason your barber cut so many people that sometimes they like, oh, yeah, let me. No, this is not my haircut. And sometimes you just gotta go. Every once in a while you gotta go to a different barber. Just once. The other barber might fuck you up, but that's kind of what you need to get your other barber back in order. Because now you're going to drop down. First thing, your barber going to say, I know you went somewhere else. What the fuck? I'm telling you, at least for the next year he cutting you back, right? Because he know.

[Pat]

But when you go to a new barber, do you first get a full cut or do you just start off with like a lining, like a little taper or some shit?

[Mike]

Honestly, like, I feel like there's a talent in, like, I've been like, fucked up by a barber, but the haircut still looks good, if that makes sense.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[JD]

It was just not you.

[Mike]

Yes, it's not me. You. You. Obviously, I gotta give you more direction next time. But you are a great barber. But I've also been up by barbers where I'm just like, you'll never cut me up Again, like, you don't need to be cutting nobody else up.

[Gene]

Matter of fact, cuz, barber's trying to be diverse. They be trying to cut everybody's hair, you know, so that's how they forget, like, how to cut certain

[JD]

notice diversity, like get your fade done. But that doesn't matter though. That does matter. It doesn't matter.

[Mike]

Gene went to one Red Sox game and they could talk.

[JD]

It does matter though, because if you

[Pat]

do have a barber and it's all

[JD]

white dudes you see getting tapers, it's

[Pat]

like, all right, am I going to be more inclined to go to this guy or. Or go to the barber where I

[JD]

see obviously more black people?

[Caller 3]

I'm not going to lie.

[Mike]

That's probably the most racist thing that I do. And like, I'm willing to admit it if it's a white guy getting a cut in front of me and he getting like a fade.

[JD]

Like, you know, like you see scissors get pulled out.

[Mike]

No, but it's.

[Caller 5]

It's.

[Mike]

It's like the black flay. Like, you know why he trying to get that hairc. He got the stud earrings. We shaking hands regular. When you get out this chair, you're not getting a little snack.

[Caller 3]

Nah, you got to earn it a little more. You got to put in some work.

[JD]

You shake up with people that were in the chair before.

[Mike]

A lot of people know the podcast at the barber shop I go to. I sent you a link though, to a video about real friendship.

[Caller 1]

Last week, my homeboy got exposed on Instagram. I caught him with a trans. And so I ain't talked to the since then. Been trying to call the Ain't answer. Ain't been on the game, ain't replying to my text. So I finally FaceTimed the this morning. He answered, pick up the phone, all sad and it's all dark. I'm like, what's up with your fan? Where you been at? Ain't talked to him about a week. A like, trying to sound all sad and he like, oh man, I. I've been in the crib, bro. I know you probably seen all that on the Internet and whatnot. I say, hell yeah, I seen that. You freaky as hell. But hey, you still trying to get up with them hoes. We met at Port Royal tomorrow because they got that little art exhibit they want us to go to. And it's like after set and they was asking about you. The, like, the like, man, bro, I ain't showering in like four days. I really ain't feeling, man, I ain't

[Caller 3]

trying to hear that.

[Caller 1]

Get a little bussy. They act like good no more, man. Get the out of here, dog. You got me up the. The start the down laugh. He getting dressed. He on the way over here right now, man. Moral of the story. You my freaky ass. And ain't nobody. Ain't nothing ever gonna change that. You my friend. You my freaky ass friend I love. Don't get freaky with me.

[Mike]

That's it.

[Caller 1]

That's it.

[Co-host]

I'm tell you.

[Caller 1]

That's it.

[Co-host]

That's all that's funny.

[JD]

I got.

[Co-host]

What's his name on ig.

[Mike]

I don't know.

[Pat]

Fried.

[Co-host]

Okay.

[Pat]

Oh, man, that's.

[JD]

That's true, though. I like that.

[Pat]

That's, like, very.

[JD]

I think people judge their friends off different things.

[Pat]

Obviously, there's things that your friends can't

[JD]

come back from, right? Like, I would say more criminal activities.

[Mike]

No, there are.

[JD]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Just.

[JD]

I'm just saying, just more criminal activities.

[Mike]

Sexuality.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

And what they prefer shouldn't be one of the things.

[JD]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Now we get to, like, even put, like, political views. There's like, a hard line of like, okay, you voted for this person. Can we still be friends? I don't know. Maybe. But it's like, do you really believe, like, some of this?

[JD]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Then it's like, all right, bro.

[Co-host]

It's a lot different. Yeah. I don't know. I feel like people should approach it that way a lot more.

[Mike]

No, definitely should, bro. Okay. The difference between me and a lot of people that want to get rich is, like, they getting rich for different reasons. I say, like, they get rich for, like, you know, the Lambos, the Porsches, the big houses, and all that's cool, right? All that's probably gonna come with it. But I'm getting rich to, like, get access to stuff. You know what I'm saying?

[JD]

Yeah.

[Mike]

It's like, I want to do stuff that, like, I'm in places like, you know, I'm saying, like, why am I in a Detroit Pistons locker room? You know what I'm saying? Asking Isaiah Stewart, like, what's going through your mind?

[JD]

Would that be the first person you talk to?

[Mike]

That'd be the only nigga I want to talk to.

[Caller 6]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Really?

[Caller 3]

That's a nigga you want to be.

[JD]

You do kind of want to know what goes into their mind.

[Pat]

Because, like, there's some people you.

[Co-host]

You probably meet, and then you'll be

[Pat]

like, oh, I see why this person asks this way.

[JD]

Like, after having, like, a full conversation, it's like, okay.

[Mike]

Or. Or you Talk to them. And it's a whole science behind what they doing. You'll get around. There's so many people that I believe

[Pat]

that for Dylan Brooks, I believe that for.

[Mike]

I believe that for Isaiah. That's why I brought it up. It's just like, I believe there's a science behind what he does. I believe, obviously sometimes it's just like, damn, you got a tech at like a weird spot. It might have affected the game, but it's just like the things that he do. And like the science behind someone's craziness is always funny when you talk to them at a calm time. Like when we talk to Pat Bev and stuff like that, you just see like, okay, there's science behind like a lot of his antics.

[Pat]

Do you think there's science behind Draymond Green's antics?

[Mike]

A thousand percent. Okay. I think Draymond is like, smart enough to know we aren't winning a championship. So it's just like, is if for someone that has four championships and wins all the time, he knows exactly what it takes to get a championship. And when he look at his team and he passing the ball to pods and other players, he know like, this not a championship squad. So now the winning part is kind of like, eh, okay, it's up there. I like to win, but it's not as important. Now this referee is hoeing me. You know damn well I didn't foul him.

[Caller 3]

Fuck you.

[Mike]

Like, I'm about to give you, like, I'm about to make. Because, you know, regardless, to me, referees are like, these are guys that didn't hoop and these are guys that don't like being yelled at. Can you say that?

[Caller 7]

Yeah.

[Mike]

So if a dude.

[JD]

Some referees might have hooped a little bit, but not a high level maybe.

[Mike]

Do you think it's a real get back to eject somebody after they cussed you out, knowing you really can't cuss him out. Like, let's say you're a ref and I'm like, you a. You a ass. You don't know what the you talking about. You stupid as. You missed that call. You missed that call. You missed that call.

[Pat]

I'm throwing you out the game.

[Mike]

You throw me out the game, but it's just like, you can't say anything because you're going to get in trouble. The only thing you can do is like emphatically throw me out the game. It's like, that's not real revenge. So I think like the players be winning.

[JD]

I would try to say more witty stuff like, little shit under my breath.

[Caller 3]

Like, what.

[Pat]

What would you say?

[Caller 3]

Like, what would you say?

[JD]

I don't know if he's missing all

[Pat]

this broke ass shot.

[JD]

There's just something like, very sly and little and just like, they. They. They be like, what you say? They have to say what you say.

[Pat]

Like, no, I think.

[Mike]

I think my thing.

[JD]

Or start flinching at niggas.

[Mike]

No, that's crazy. But that's like, that's what they want you to do. Mind you, you a ref, so you're probably 5, 6, 180.

[JD]

Okay. Okay.

[Mike]

And this Draymond Green 6.

[Pat]

Got it, got it, got it.

[Mike]

He wants you to flinch at him. That's what they want. But I think. I think you on the right track, though.

[JD]

Or like, bump them on.

[Pat]

On purpose.

[Mike]

No, that's still too much.

[Pat]

No, I'm bumping them on purpose.

[JD]

I mean, like.

[Pat]

But it make it seem like it's an accident.

[Mike]

Okay. You know them slow mo replays, they catch every little wince of, like, what you do. Like, every little evilness. You got to be a really good actor.

[Pat]

I have to.

[Mike]

But no, I like. But I like where you was going, though. I think me, I would just tell them. I don't give texts to people like you. I only give text when I just don't believe you, bro. I don't believe that you getting this high with me, bro.

[Caller 3]

I'm not giving you a text. And I tell ref no.

[Mike]

All the rest he good. I don't believe none of that.

[Caller 3]

You know what I mean?

[JD]

Wouldn't that be like, I know where you grew up.

[Caller 3]

Yeah, I know.

[JD]

I know his dad. We went to school with his dad.

[Caller 2]

He ain't even from here.

[Mike]

Yeah,

[JD]

we used to stuff his dad in a locker.

[Caller 3]

No.

[Mike]

Every time. Come on, now. I'm not throwing you out and I'm ignoring you one. And then, please, God, don't commit a violation. I'm about to do the Dante C. Pepper roll on. If you travel.

[Caller 3]

I swear to God that tr. Trap, trap, trap, trap.

[Caller 8]

Traveling.

[Pat]

I have a video for. I have a video for. I have a video. It says exposing my son's basketball coach.

[Caller 9]

I'm thinking about exposing my son's seventh grade basketball coach. Coach Cleveland. Hey, how you doing? Yeah, it's me.

[Mike]

She said she thinking about my phone calls.

[Caller 9]

You blocked me. I call you from text now. No answer. I'm gonna expose you. I'm thinking about exposing you. All right? So if you don't return my call, the whole world gonna know. Even your wife, Michelle. Cleveland, that. That's a library lady downtown. She FA know too. That damn library ain't pretty quiet no more. All right, so, Michelle, I'm gonna give you proof to let you know that I sucked and ate your husband ass.

[Caller 3]

I thought she was thinking about it.

[Caller 9]

Cleveland, you promised me that if I sucked and ate your ass, my son will make the basketball team. Now, you didn't block me. I'm calling from text now. No response.

[Pat]

And ho asked to make the basketball team. Freaky ass.

[JD]

That's a crazy request.

[Mike]

Wait, wait, wait. You know how trash your son got to be? You know how ass your son got to be for you to eat ass?

[Caller 3]

Come on now.

[Mike]

Like that's.

[JD]

You know what I did for you

[Pat]

to get on this team?

[Mike]

No, that's crazy. No.

[Pat]

Do you think there's still coaches out there doing that?

[Mike]

Yes, bro. It's evil all around the world. This never go away. That's why we got to be one

[Caller 3]

of the good ones.

[Mike]

Come on, bro, there's niggas out here.

[JD]

It's just a crazy request.

[Caller 3]

Just a crazy request.

[Mike]

You want this game winning shot?

[Caller 3]

Oh, hell no.

[Mike]

No. That's so crazy to say. I'm about to think about it and

[Gene]

then imagine she said not after practice.

[JD]

It sounds like a Cleveland would do. Cleveland.

[Mike]

Oh, that's. Yeah, that's also crazy. Into Doxel other woman.

[JD]

Like, she's the library lady.

[Mike]

You mad at her for not eating her eating her husband ass.

[JD]

She said that's. This is how you know that it. That I'm not lying. So that just might be his thing.

[Mike]

Oh, God.

[JD]

So his wife is probably doing that too.

[Mike]

No, she probably retired.

[Pat]

She ain't gotta do it no more.

[Gene]

She probably don't.

[Mike]

No, she probably did it like the first 10 years. I just feel like if you.

[JD]

That's very like a very kind of like a unique thing in a sense, right?

[Mike]

Yeah.

[JD]

So it's like if you already have that at home, the search to find that outside of your house, it's like

[Pat]

I feel like it's a difficult search.

[Gene]

That would probably be the ultimate backfire is if like they said they got an open relationship.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Co-host]

Oh, that's.

[Mike]

I don't know. I don't know the rest of it open something.

[JD]

I think Cleveland sound old school, so

[Pat]

I don't think open tryouts.

[Mike]

I just know that did whatever she say. But what was like her. Why does she mad though?

[JD]

I guess he the son didn't get no planes.

[Caller 3]

Probably wasn't good enough.

[Pat]

There's something had to give.

[JD]

He must have Been that bad where it's like, okay, I got pleasured the way I wanted to get pleasured. But your son is still that bad. Not good enough to like outweigh your son's ass. Ness.

[Mike]

That's what I'm saying. He probably.

[Caller 3]

No, he probably benched him during crunch time.

[Mike]

She started wiping her mouth and she said, what the.

[Caller 3]

Why my son not in the game? I had to. Come on, dog. You ain't eat it that good.

[Mike]

Yo, yo, what's the wordy Birdie brothers?

[JD]

What up? What up?

[Caller 10]

Good, good, good.

[Co-host]

I got a question for you. What's something that's funny? That shouldn't be my answer.

[Caller 10]

Pat.

[Co-host]

Pat is funny, but should it be okay?

[Caller 7]

Nah.

[Caller 10]

Well, I'm just. I'm just rage baiting him. But I feel like. I feel like Pat. Pat. You and Pat are very good balance of funny and serious.

[Pat]

Are you think I'm serious?

[Co-host]

I appreciate that.

[Caller 10]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Pat]

You think I'm too serious?

[Caller 10]

No, not too serious. Like Mike is a. Mike is a very good example of, you know, a big brother who's going to direct you. Ben.

[Mike]

Pat.

[Caller 10]

We just make fun of every single situation.

[Mike]

What's that noise in the background sound like hella plates.

[Caller 10]

No, we're making lunch.

[Mike]

Yo, let's take a quick break from today's podcast to thank the sponsor, SeatGeek. I've been looking for the best deal on Usher and Chris Brown tickets for their tour coming up and discovered SeatGeek is the place to go. Which is why I want to give the sponsor of today's podcast, Seatgeek, a huge shout out. With over 35 million downloads, Seatgeek is the number one rated ticketing app and Seatgeek has your back. Each ticket is rated on a scale of 1 to 10, so you know you're getting a good deal. So look for the green dots. Green means good, red means bad. Plus every ticket is backed by their buyer guarantee. The NBA season is also in full swing and MLB is here too. You can now get World cup tickets on Sea Geek also. And of course we got the code for you guys. You can use code dummies10 for 10 off your next set of tickets at SeatGeek.

[Pat]

That's 10 off any ticket with promo code dummies10.

[Co-host]

Make sure you click the link in the description to download the app and have the code automatically added to your account so you can use it later. Thank you, SeatGeek for sponsoring the podcast. Now back to the show.

[Mike]

Yo, let's take another break from the podcast to thank the sponsor, Brooklyn Betting. Listen, listen, listen. I truly believe sleep is the foundation for everything. Move stamina, the way you work. After a long day. I needed a bed that actually helped me get rest and recharge for the next day.

[Co-host]

The best part about Brooklyn Bedding is they actually understand this. With my new signature hybrid, I wake up feeling aligned, rested and fully prepared for my day. It truly is a comfortable mattress, creating a great space for restoring your sleep.

[Pat]

And listen, if you live somewhere warmer,

[Co-host]

they also use glacial text covers and temperature regulating materials to help keep you cool, comfortable all night long. I've definitely noticed a difference.

[Mike]

You want to know what I found really cool about them? Is that they're built in the USA with high quality materials right in their Arizona factory. No nonsense, no gimmicks, just quality and good prices. Brooklyn Bedding also offers a 120 night comfort trial. Love it. Or they'll help you return or swap it hassle free. And they have been awarded the best mattress by CNET and best hybrid matches by Wirecutter. So you know they're legit. Get yours today. Go to BrooklynBetting.com and use our promo code crash at checkout to get 30% off sitewide. This offer is not available anywhere else. That's BrooklynBetting.com and promo code CRASH for 30% off sitewide. Support our show and let them know we sent you after checkout. BrooklynVetty.com promo code CRASH. Don't forget B. Who's we?

[Caller 10]

Me and. Me and My dear friend JD.

[Pat]

Your dear friend.

[Mike]

Can we talk to JD?

[Pat]

Where are you from?

[Caller 10]

Uganda. JD's from Ghana.

[JD]

Okay.

[Caller 3]

Like what y' all okay?

[Mike]

Can we talk to him?

[Caller 10]

Oh, no, no. She. It's a she.

[Co-host]

Oh, jd.

[Mike]

Oh jd. Oh dear friend. It's like friendly she.

[Caller 10]

No, she's like a mother figure, man.

[Mike]

A mother Sound like you got her

[Caller 3]

doing out of work?

[Caller 10]

Well, we work together.

[Mike]

Oh, you at you at work preparing dinner.

[Caller 10]

So this was when break?

[Mike]

Just together though.

[Caller 10]

Oh, well, there's a bunch of other people coming. We're making lunch for the house.

[Caller 3]

Okay.

[Co-host]

For the house?

[Caller 10]

Yeah, we work at a. A nursing facility.

[Pat]

So there we go.

[Mike]

Yeah. Damn, took you forever to release that information.

[Pat]

You live in Uganda?

[Caller 10]

No. Chill with that. But no, no, I don't live in Uganda. I live in Jersey.

[Co-host]

Okay.

[Mike]

Was it. Wait, would you watch the show?

[Caller 10]

I was at the show. Tandem shirt.

[Mike]

Oh, this is dude from the show.

[Caller 5]

From.

[Mike]

From the live show last night.

[Pat]

Oh, last night.

[Gene]

I fuck with the denim shirt.

[Mike]

I ain't gonna lie.

[Caller 10]

Yeah, no, it was Old Navy. It was Old Navy, man.

[Mike]

That's Old Navy. No, that. I mean, you was dressed. You dressed how you want to dress, bro. I don't know who would ever make fun of how you dress.

[Caller 10]

No, the one who's not. Who's not funny.

[JD]

Are you.

[Pat]

Are you in a relationship?

[Caller 10]

No, man.

[Mike]

Oh, he want that old lady.

[Co-host]

He want that jd.

[Mike]

Jd. That's why he helping her in the kitchen. I'd do anything for you. He trying to do it before the other people that get there that like her, too.

[Caller 3]

Other people at the job like her too, don't they? He tried to get ahead of him. Get to the kitchen first.

[JD]

All right, bro.

[Pat]

You have a good one.

[Mike]

We know you freaky did them, boy.

[Caller 10]

All right, chill.

[Mike]

What's the word? Welcome to crowdcast, bro.

[Caller 5]

What's up? What's up?

[Mike]

All right, I got a question for you.

[Caller 5]

What's something that people overhype VIP sections at the club? Explain, like, you paying the same price? Like, well, you listening to the same music, same cloud. You just behind a bum ass, like, sign that says vip, and it's bunched up, so I feel like that's man late.

[Co-host]

Sound like a outside of VIP section, though.

[Caller 5]

I just think it's overhyped, bro.

[Mike]

Like, you pay way more money.

[Caller 5]

Bottles is the same. Okay, Like, I don't know. I'm not hating.

[Mike]

No, no, I don't think you. It's definitely. It's. Oh, it's only hating if you're talking about, like, specific times or, like, a specific thing. The concept was supposed to be for, like, privacy, but it is definitely turned into, like, people not dancing. And anymore you like to dance at clubs or something?

[Caller 5]

No, I just got a lot of homies. I get, like, that. I go to the club and go and got VIP sessions. Like, I just think you're paying more for no reason.

[JD]

How long.

[Pat]

How many times you think you've been in VIP section?

[Caller 5]

Yeah, like, once.

[Mike]

You only been in one.

[JD]

It's like.

[Caller 2]

It's.

[Caller 5]

It's basically the same thing as just going to the club and, like, you just behind a sign.

[JD]

But I'm just saying, you only went one time.

[Mike]

You went. What was in the VIP section? How many people? It was all guys in the VIP section.

[Caller 2]

No, no, no, no.

[Mike]

You just said me and my friends and some shorties.

[Caller 2]

I said that? Okay.

[Mike]

And some. Sure. How many? Like, you're not giving me.

[Pat]

What was, like, the ratio?

[Caller 5]

Yeah, it was. It's five of us, including me, so that's six and then five of the shorties.

[Pat]

Okay.

[Caller 5]

So one of, one of my friends didn't have one.

[Mike]

So one of your friends didn't have one. So it was, it was, it was five girls and six guys.

[Pat]

Is this like a club that you frequent too?

[Co-host]

Like what was it?

[Caller 5]

No, no, I just went like just, just, just to go. Because I don't normally I don't go to the club like that. But.

[Mike]

But so you don't go to the club and then you got an opinion on clubs like this don't make no sense.

[Caller 5]

I can't give my opinion to a place that I went to.

[Mike]

Nah, not especially. Especially not especially not a one time thing.

[JD]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Just because I feel like going to. I'm not advocating for going to club

[Co-host]

or anything but I just think those,

[Pat]

those things are, are things that change every weekend. Like I've gone to this, I've gone to clubs and like one week I'm

[JD]

like oh this was ass. And the next week you go there. It's like you had the time of your life.

[Mike]

Yeah. At the same exact place. I've literally got the set. I literally got a. I've literally got a section in the same spot five times in two over two months span and had the time of my life one time. And other times I was like damn, I don't know if I want to do this again. So it's like you only went once and then you went to a sausage fest. So it's just like I think the

[Pat]

things you can say overhyped are like things that are like one time experiences. Like I feel like food places are kind of like that sometimes. Especially like the more franchisee places. Yeah, yeah, I might. Obviously.

[JD]

Somehow it depends what waiter you get like a mama.

[Mike]

You go to, you go to a Popeyes in Pontiac, Michigan. You can't say all Popeyes is bad. You know what I'm saying?

[Pat]

Or as you can say it's overhyped.

[Caller 5]

Yeah, you're right.

[Mike]

You know what I'm saying?

[Caller 5]

You're right.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Gene]

So the overhype people pay too much and it's like, it's like you could pay less, dog. You went to the section.

[Caller 7]

True.

[Mike]

Did you chip in on the bottle at least?

[Caller 2]

No, I don't.

[Caller 5]

I don't really. I don't drink. I was just there.

[Pat]

So you didn't even, you didn't even pay nothing.

[Caller 3]

You're not drunk.

[Mike]

He in there with. He went into.

[JD]

No wonder you had a terrible time.

[Pat]

It was over hyped.

[Mike]

Went into to the club with a notebook. I don't really like, the essence.

[JD]

I'mma take notes today.

[Mike]

Why are the bottle girls half naked? I just don't get it.

[JD]

Like, too many stairs.

[Mike]

Why do we have ropes and they don't? I don't get it. Like, are we both paying for a section this? Yo, by the way, the club cop,

[Caller 5]

I caught the last ticket to the New York To. To. To the New York show that's on Tuesday.

[Pat]

Oh, fire.

[Mike]

Oh, damn.

[Caller 5]

The reason why I had to make another show for Brooklyn. So shout out to me.

[Mike]

Brooklyn show.

[Caller 5]

Shout out to me.

[Mike]

No, shout out to you. For real, though.

[Pat]

We appreciate it. See you then, bro.

[Mike]

See you soon, little.

[Caller 7]

Yeah, for sure.

[Caller 11]

Y.

[Caller 2]

Stay safe.

[Co-host]

All right. Like, pause in the podcast. The next listener call y' all going to hear is actually from our live show in Boston. Shout out to people that heard that. Get your tickets to the live show. Crash Dummies live dot com. Now. Here's the clip.

[Caller 6]

Yo, what's up?

[Pat]

What it do?

[Mike]

What's up?

[Caller 6]

Nothing much. How about you guys?

[Mike]

Nothing much with you, huh?

[Caller 6]

First of all, hat. You're very cutesy wootsy on Baltimore.

[Mike]

Oh, my God.

[Pat]

What does that mean?

[Mike]

What does that mean?

[Caller 8]

I don't know.

[Caller 6]

He's like. Every time he laughed, he was covering his smile. Like, very cutesy. Is he covering his spa right now?

[Co-host]

Yeah.

[Mike]

No, no, You're. You're literally banned from the pie, brother. I promise you that. This is your last time on the pot.

[Co-host]

I got a question for you. What's your biggest regret?

[Caller 6]

Losing my virginity, bro.

[Pat]

Okay.

[Caller 6]

Biggest regret,

[Co-host]

I guess.

[Pat]

Explain.

[Caller 6]

No, I remember it happened so quick, and when it happened, I couldn't get it out, so I was like, something wrong with me? Do I have erectile dysfunction?

[Pat]

You're talking, like, God.

[Caller 6]

It got to the point where I had to go to CVS and get, like, answers because I. I was just. I guess I was very nervous.

[Mike]

Wait, you went to CVS to get answers?

[Caller 3]

Like, what?

[Caller 6]

The enhancers.

[JD]

Oh, enhancers.

[Mike]

Oh, okay.

[Caller 6]

Then I started looking up Bluechew.

[Caller 3]

Okay.

[Caller 6]

To see if I can get onto that, but I guess I was just nervous, and I tried it again, and

[Pat]

it worked, but it was like, congrats, bro.

[Caller 6]

It was so boring.

[Pat]

You say it was so boring.

[Mike]

Hold on.

[Caller 6]

It was boring?

[Mike]

Like, the sex was boring?

[Caller 6]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Like, how old were you?

[Caller 6]

21.

[Mike]

How old are you now?

[Caller 6]

24.

[Mike]

Is. Is the sex still boring?

[Caller 6]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Wait, wait. Who do you have? Are we allowed to ask him, like, who he's having sex with?

[Co-host]

Yeah, sure.

[Mike]

Like, are you having sex with.

[Caller 6]

Who are you Having sex with a girlfriend, of course.

[Mike]

And it's like, okay, so is your girlfriend.

[Caller 6]

Yeah.

[Mike]

So it's boring, right?

[Caller 6]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Like, you don't enjoy it.

[Caller 6]

Like, I guess what I enjoy the most is seeing her enjoy it. But it's like, me, she's like, man,

[Mike]

you think, like, maybe, like, if you don't like that, like. Okay, I used this earlier, right? If Mike doesn't like ice cream.

[JD]

But go ahead.

[Mike]

If Mike doesn't like ice cream, that means, like, if he finds it boring, he probably wouldn't eat ice cream anymore. Like, maybe he, like, switched, like, popsicles or something.

[Caller 6]

What are you trying to say?

[Mike]

No, I'm just saying, like, this ice. Ice cream and popsicles, Nothing else.

[Caller 3]

Just like.

[Mike]

Maybe you want to try something else.

[Caller 6]

Yeah, maybe. But I try to bring it up and she gets mad.

[Co-host]

What's.

[Pat]

What's boring about it?

[Caller 6]

It's like. Just goes. Goes in.

[JD]

Oh, okay.

[Co-host]

Okay.

[JD]

There's some. There's some people eating right now.

[Caller 6]

Oh, my God. Yeah, it's just boring and.

[Pat]

Okay.

[Co-host]

You brought this up to her and what she said?

[Caller 6]

No. She started yelling at me, like. Like, she says it's something that she can live without, but, like, obviously that's a lie.

[Mike]

So you don't want. You actually don't want to have sex?

[Caller 6]

No.

[Mike]

So you'll be okay with not having sex at all?

[Caller 6]

Yeah. Like, I feel nasty.

[Mike]

Listen, what is that?

[JD]

Isn't that called something, like asexual or something?

[Mike]

No, I. It's called something else. That's what we just not allowed to say it. But you need to, like, do some, like, self evaluation instead of, like, ruining other people's life. You need to figure out what you really want.

[Pat]

Why don't you leave?

[Caller 6]

Well, I'm happy. I'm having this relationship.

[Co-host]

Just like, the 30 seconds at night that you get a little.

[Mike]

Yeah, I think he just want, like, maybe he wants his girlfriend to be his best friend. He just don't want to lose her. Is that like, that's your best friend?

[Co-host]

Huh?

[Caller 6]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Yeah. You know, you could just be friends with her and, like.

[Co-host]

And, like, you can cut the sex out with her.

[Caller 6]

Break it up with her right now.

[Co-host]

Yeah, go ahead. Do it right now, bro.

[Pat]

You want us to do it right now?

[Mike]

Yeah. Call her three way. Fuck it. We'll do it with you.

[Co-host]

Fuck it.

[Pat]

We got you, bro. We'll end this shit tonight.

[Caller 3]

Yo, what's up?

[Pat]

What it do?

[Co-host]

What it do?

[Pat]

Shit, man.

[Caller 8]

Y' all need to ask me the question or what?

[Mike]

Damn. God damn.

[Caller 3]

What the fuck? Why Are you talking to us like that?

[Co-host]

All right, what's your biggest regret, boy?

[Caller 8]

It's getting my baby mama pregnant, boy.

[Mike]

Oh my God.

[Caller 8]

That me up.

[Caller 3]

He saw up.

[Pat]

All right, go ahead.

[Co-host]

What happened?

[Caller 8]

I ain't gonna lie. I love my son. He amazing. That's my dog. But that. Oh, all right, look, so she got pregnant. All right, cool beans, boy.

[Pat]

I found out you got her.

[Caller 8]

Gonna be the whole relationship.

[Co-host]

Let's.

[Pat]

Let's start.

[Co-host]

Let's start over.

[Mike]

Said cool beans to her pregnancy.

[Caller 3]

Oh my God. We lost as a community.

[Caller 8]

No, no, no, listen, listen, listen. It was cool till I found out she was cheating for two years though.

[Mike]

Two years, like nah, she cheated at

[Caller 8]

the beginning of the relationship. Like I would have been out of there if I knew.

[Mike]

Well like how did you even find that out, bro?

[Caller 8]

On Jesus Christ. I'm sitting there one day, right? And I open her insta like I go and I log in on her. Ignore. I'm sitting there, I'm like, you know, let me scroll back, you know, there's some names here. I scroll, I see a user not found. You know that, that say like, you know when a block you or some. Yeah, I tap on that.

[Mike]

My heart thumping

[Caller 8]

wicked boy. My leg tapping. I feel like a crackhead. You boy, I'm losing it. All I see is you look so sexy.

[Caller 3]

Oh my God.

[Caller 1]

Cuh.

[Caller 8]

I started crying. I'm sitting there, I'm rocking back and forth in this bitch, I'm rocking. I call her.

[Mike]

I said, I know you did it.

[Caller 8]

I know you. I'm screaming, boy. I'm screaming. She like, oh my God. No, no, it's not what it looks like. I said, then what is it? What is it? What is it? I'm like, what photo did you send for him to be saying this? I go, I scroll up a little more. She was texting this. I was working 12 hour days at that point in time, bro.

[Mike]

That's a lot of time to bruh,

[Caller 3]

I ain't gonna lie to you.

[Caller 8]

I'm saying I was putting her in. Oh my God.

[Mike]

Exactly. I'm just thinking about the I would do in 12 hours. Like that's like enough time to have sex, leave, get lunch, come back, borrow your shoes.

[Caller 8]

You know that, you know that wrestling move when you pin the and you have they neck bet underneath you? Yeah. Had her in one of walls of Jericho. Oh, I found out when she was pregnant. F. I ain't going to lie on Jesus Christ, bro. I. I was tweaking, I was tweaking, I was tweaking my son.

[Caller 1]

Amazing, though.

[JD]

So we good?

[Co-host]

You're sure it's your son?

[Caller 8]

Oh, yeah, I. I had to. I had to. I had to take one of them test, boy.

[Mike]

Oh, that's dope.

[Caller 8]

He looked just like me, though. Yeah, big as.

[Mike]

No, that's dope.

[Pat]

When did this happen?

[Caller 8]

This happened a couple years ago. He too, now.

[Co-host]

You still heard over it?

[Caller 8]

No, no, I moved on. I'm engaged. I'm happy.

[Co-host]

Congrats.

[Mike]

Yo, so, yo, yo, yo, fiance know you talking about this with such passion.

[Caller 8]

Nah, boy, I just remember I was angry. I'm in love with my girl now. Now, I ain't going to lie.

[Caller 1]

She do that.

[Caller 6]

I'm doing 50 years.

[JD]

All right.

[Mike]

They got that Nicki Minaj personality.

[Pat]

Oh, man.

[Mike]

Yo, yo, what's the wordy birdie?

[Caller 7]

What's good, bro?

[Mike]

Welcome to Crash on me's podcast. Sorry, we hitting call to some other callers just in case you ask. So we gotta make sure we got more people.

[Co-host]

Go ahead, bro.

[Mike]

We just being transparent with you. I got a question for you, bro.

[Caller 7]

What's up?

[Mike]

What's something that people overhype?

[Caller 7]

I think sex.

[Co-host]

Okay, okay.

[Caller 7]

All right, so here's my take on it, right? First off, a lot of people look out for sex. Like, it's like, it's a. Like it's a need. Like, they need to have it, right? But first off, feel me, Maybe it's just me personally, but, like, don't last that long. Like, it doesn't last that long. Whether it's because of the guy, because of the girl. Like, it feels great for a little bit. And then after.

[Mike]

Wait, how do you know? How do you know guys don't last that long?

[Caller 7]

No, wait, so I.

[Pat]

We. It could be a very simple answer to this. I'm just.

[Co-host]

We're not trying to dig or anything.

[Caller 7]

I don't know that guys last that long.

[Mike]

Okay, it kind of debunks the first part of your sentence, but go ahead. You go off. Go ahead.

[Caller 7]

Yeah, but. Yeah, no, I just feel like after. I feel like I don't want to be near the girl at all. And she usually just pisses me off, so I feel like it's a bit overrated.

[JD]

Are you having. Are you having sex with, like, woman that you're, like, in a relationship?

[Co-host]

In a relationship with?

[Caller 7]

Nah.

[Caller 5]

Okay.

[Mike]

I don't like. Okay, so you're saying you don't last. You said sex is overrated because you don't last that long and you don't want to be by the woman after the sex. Is over. Yeah, but why are you trying to generalize it to everybody? Like, this is like, specifically you. Like, why do you. Why don't you want to be with the woman that, like, after you did it, that you want to be cuddled up with or be around or laugh with? Is it like something else going on?

[Caller 7]

I mean, I'd hope not. I don't think so. But I mean, maybe. Maybe it's just a personal thing. I've talked to. I've talked to people, you know, here and there. So I've gotten, you know, around the same opinions and whatnot.

[Co-host]

Okay, so now that you're like, you

[Pat]

come to the conclusion that sex is overrated or overhyped?

[Co-host]

Are you like, not having sex then anymore?

[Caller 7]

No, no, I just had sex last night.

[JD]

So it's.

[Co-host]

If it's overrated or over hyped, why are you still doing it?

[Gene]

Or is it overpriced?

[Caller 7]

No. What? No, no, no, no, no. I'm not paying for no sex. I don't know. I think that, like, is. I'm still going to do it, but I think it's a bit overrated.

[Mike]

I think, like it like you. I don't. I wouldn't say you scare me, but you making me think something because you, like, keep saying it's overrated and then you don't be. Want to be. Man, pay the saxophones.

[Caller 3]

This getting crazy, man.

[Mike]

Like, yeah, man, I don't know. I don't know if you enjoy sex with women, bro.

[Caller 7]

What?

[Mike]

No, I do. It don't sound like it. I'm not doing.

[Caller 7]

No, I'm not. There's no. There's nobody else to enjoy sex with.

[Mike]

No, but I'm not saying that either. Nobody's throwing that out there. I'm just talking about what you have done and it sounds like you don't enjoy.

[Caller 3]

Like, if Mike told me he went to go ice cream, right? He said, man, the ice cream is

[Mike]

too cold and it melts too fast. I don't even know.

[Caller 3]

It's so overrated.

[Mike]

I'd be like, damn, bro, you don't like ice cream.

[Caller 3]

Like, maybe you should try a pop signal. I don't know.

[Caller 7]

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

[Caller 3]

I don't know, bro.

[Mike]

It like sounds like you don't like, like you sound.

[JD]

And it's okay if you don't. It's your preference, you know? Like, everybody can't like the same thing. We all can't like the same thing. If everybody ate ice cream, there wouldn't be enough ice cream for everyone.

[Caller 7]

I feel like this is turning into an intervention. That's not. It's not. It's not what I'm trying to go for. No, I'm not with that.

[Mike]

Okay. Nobody's saying you're with anything. We're just saying you don't like the thing that you're talking about, and you're saying sex is overhyped, and you just talked about your experience with a woman and said, hey, it's not going to last long, and I don't want her near me after it. So it just like it sounds like you don't enjoy it

[Caller 7]

now. I enjoy it.

[Co-host]

All right, backtracking now.

[Mike]

So is it over hyped still?

[Caller 7]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Caller 7]

I feel like I can. I can enjoy something that's still overhyped. I'm not saying it's terrible. I'm just saying this. I don't think it's as great as everybody portrays it to be.

[Caller 3]

Okay, buddy. You got it.

[JD]

All right, bro. You have a good one, man.

[Caller 7]

Listening to y' all for years.

[Mike]

No, we appreciate you, bro.

[JD]

Appreciate you, bro.

[Caller 3]

Hey, never said we overhyped, brother.

[JD]

Because if we were over hyped to him, he would stop listening to us, right?

[Caller 3]

No, he would still do it.

[JD]

You said what?

[Caller 7]

I can still listen if you're overhyped.

[Caller 8]

Okay.

[Caller 3]

I don't know if I want to be in any scenario. You got.

[JD]

All right, bro.

[Pat]

You have a good one.

[Co-host]

Yo, can you hear us?

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Caller 4]

What's up?

[Co-host]

What up?

[JD]

What up?

[Mike]

What's the word? Welcome to Crash on his podcast. Bro, we got a question for you.

[Caller 4]

All right, what's up?

[Co-host]

What's something that's funny? That shouldn't be.

[Caller 4]

Like I said, I'm gonna go with gay dudes talking. But, like, no. And not no disrespectful way. I want. I want to say that right now. Not in no disrespectful way. They just how they go about saying things is funny. Like, all right, for example, right? So you know how some gay dudes be talking about, oh, man, this. I'm. Pause on this. Pause on this. You know how they be saying, like, oh, like they be getting wet, you know,

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[Caller 11]

Hello?

[Pat]

No, I guess. Where do you hear this at?

[Caller 4]

All right, all right, so I went to, I went.

[Mike]

All right, all right.

[Caller 4]

So I went to a school, right? Public school, right? And I had this, this gay dude, right? I was friends with him and stuff, right? He was talking about how he's like wet and right? And I'm like, bro, you're not wet, bro.

[Caller 11]

It's.

[Caller 4]

It's straight, you know, because. Oh man. Ah, damn. How do I go about saying stuff without really saying people name? Hold up. Oh,

[Mike]

we good, we good.

[Caller 3]

We good on this combo, right? I think it ends there.

[Mike]

Oh man. No, this is a good episode. Let's get, let's get some sponsors out.

[Caller 11]

Yo, how's it going?

[Co-host]

Pretty good. Pretty good. Yourself?

[Caller 11]

I'm doing pretty good. I'm like busy but also at the same time excited and nervous because to be honest, this is something I've been talking about for, for a good minute.

[JD]

Okay.

[Mike]

Really, it's a crazy goal here.

[Co-host]

What's something that people.

[Pat]

What's something that people overhype?

[Caller 11]

Personal peace. You know, protecting their peace. I think, I think that's just like, that's like go ahead and have your cake, eat it too, whatever. Like be on your own. But like you didn't do on your own. So like we all got to be stressed to be able to grow. So like what's, what's up with people not wanting to stress and like have their shame? Be like, nah, I'm good. I got me and my girl and we straight. Like I feel like it's over. Hyped to the max, like to be on your own. Even though like we kind of need each other more than ever right now.

[Mike]

It's like that's just me. It's like you got like, I imagine you right now. With 30 affirmations in front of you and you just reading them all. We need each other right now. People running from the grind.

[Caller 3]

He just said anything?

[Caller 11]

I'm jacked right now.

[Mike]

Yeah, no, you good, bro. I. I kind of get it, but obviously there's, like, a middle ground to everything. There is, like, a such thing as, like, people running from stress. And every time they get in a hard situation and be like, yeah, I'm out of here. And then there's also people that think that life is just supposed to be hard all the time and don't take space for themselves. So it's both ways, bro.

[Pat]

I didn't think it's a good thing

[Co-host]

to want peace, though, to want to crave, like, the personal speech, the personal peace.

[Mike]

I mean that.

[Caller 11]

And I think this goes to show also, I forgot to say, hello, esteemed guest. There's esteemed guest. And hello, YouTube.

[Caller 4]

I got very caught up in it.

[Caller 11]

But it's. It's like, not answer what you don't learn about survival mode, I think, personally.

[Mike]

20 minutes left.

[Caller 2]

What to do, fellas?

[Caller 5]

What's going on?

[Co-host]

Not much.

[Pat]

Not much.

[Co-host]

I got a question for you, though.

[Caller 2]

Talk to me.

[Caller 10]

What's going on?

[JD]

All right.

[Co-host]

What's something that's funny that shouldn't be.

[Caller 2]

All right, now hear me out. The funniest to me that shouldn't be funny is when you walk in, like, a store or something and somebody post their, like, missing dog or missing cat, because why the. Are you so irresponsible that I should care about it?

[Caller 3]

That's not right.

[Caller 2]

I'm in Philly. You said that's not right.

[Caller 3]

Go ahead, bro.

[Caller 2]

Bro, I'm in. I'm in Philly, for instance, right? You know how many straight cats there are? Why the. Would I be able to pick your cat out of 50 stray cats walking down this block? I don't care. I do not care.

[Mike]

The one.

[JD]

It might have a collar on it

[Co-host]

that says, like, Cindy or some.

[Caller 2]

So you think I'm getting that close to a stray cat or dog to look at their collar?

[Mike]

So, okay, let's actually put you in position to actually save a cat or dog. Let's say you. You saw a sign on Wednesday and it was of, like, a gray cat, and it's like a very specific gray cat. And you driving around on Friday and you see that said cat on the corner. Are you contacting that number or are you doing anything?

[Caller 2]

First of all, on Friday, I don't even remember what store I was at to see the poster. So. Hell, No, I don't give a who. Cat that is on Friday. I'm off work for the week,

[Mike]

but.

[Pat]

So you don't have no pets?

[Caller 2]

Nah, I don't have no pets. I got a fish, but I feel like I'm not going to lose my fish.

[Mike]

No, but real shit, like, if your fish went missing and it was like

[Caller 3]

a possibility that somebody had it, would you not want somebody to report the fish?

[Caller 2]

Yo, if somebody come in my house and take my fucking fish, Take the head fish, bro. That's crazy.

[Pat]

I'll try to think of, like, another situation that will apply, but I don't

[Co-host]

want to, like, anybody kidnapped.

[Gene]

What about some of the posters that have, like, rewards on them? You don't go fuck.

[Caller 2]

Oh, see, now we talking.

[Mike]

Hold on.

[Caller 2]

How much is the Reward?

[Mike]

Let's say $100.

[Caller 2]

Who that, Gene? Yeah, yeah, no, that's $100. I don't need $100.

[JD]

A thousand.

[Mike]

You're capping. You're cap.

[Caller 2]

It depends.

[Pat]

No, no, it depends.

[Caller 2]

Am I busy?

[Mike]

Like,

[JD]

because there's a difference.

[Co-host]

There's a difference between, like seeing it

[Pat]

and then, okay, I'll report it because it's a thousand dollars, then actually going

[Co-host]

to look for it yourself.

[JD]

So I'm saying, say they say the

[Pat]

reward is like a hundred thousand dollars and they have. They're having a search party.

[Caller 2]

I'm picking that cat up and I'm going to.

[Pat]

No, no, no. We're not talking about you found the cat.

[Co-host]

Say they have a search party going on.

[Pat]

Are you joining that 6am search party

[Co-host]

to search for that cat as well?

[Caller 2]

100k on the line.

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah, it Give me a flashlight and a vest.

[Caller 2]

We finding that one.

[Mike]

He youtubing cat noises and have y' all tried.

[Caller 2]

Yeah, Eliza Thornberry sounds.

[JD]

Oh, man. All right, bro.

[Pat]

You have a good one.

[Caller 2]

All right, y' all too, fellas.

[Pat]

All right.

[Mike]

All right. Tweet of the week.

[Pat]

All right.

[Co-host]

Tweet a week. Tweet a week.

[Mike]

This tweet says, I wish I could say doubted me, but everyone believes in me. And yeah, and I want to put that in because I'm a victim to it. I'll have a hundred comments to be like, like, damn, that was funny as hell.

[Caller 4]

Yeah.

[Mike]

But then to be a comment of like, it'd be a woman managed. Like, that shit's not funny. It's insensitive. And I'll be hyper focused on that and I'd be like, you ass. And it's just like, just to think of like, how many people. Because it's it's hard to get positives out of people. I feel like it's easy to get negatives out of people because people are just looking for. But for somebody to come to you and tell you, hey, you doing a good job? Yeah, it's just like, bro, I feel like not a lot of people had it.

[Pat]

I feel like negatives is never in

[Co-host]

anybody's like, face though.

[Pat]

Like, anytime somebody, like, there's I. In my personally, I've never had somebody

[Co-host]

come up to me and be like,

[JD]

oh, bro, you not.

[Pat]

This boxing ain't for you.

[JD]

Like, stop boxing.

[Pat]

You about to lose this fight, that your next fight or something like that.

[JD]

People might think that, right?

[Pat]

Yeah, people might think, oh, this podcast is ass. And like, whatever. But I feel like it's. It's mostly online.

[JD]

You'll see that the hate.

[Pat]

You'll never really see the hate in person. I don't think people are brave enough to. To hate in person.

[Mike]

No, to me, I don't know. The negativeness to me comes from, like, people that you. That supported you. And then when you try to do something else, you see it kind of disappear because they judging you or they don't like the thing that you putting out. And it's just like.

[Pat]

But should you support everything your.

[JD]

Your friends do?

[Mike]

It depends on what type of friend it is. Like, if you, if you were to become a chef and I like, I taste your food, I'm like, damn, this is trash. Yeah, I'm still going to support you as a chef because it's like, we friends. Like, yeah, that's for them to judge. You know, I'm not your target audience.

[Pat]

That's. That's the easiest way to get out of anything is I'm not your target audience. It might not just be for me.

[Mike]

Okay, this real, real tweet of the week. This is why Twitter is not a real space. Like Mike says a thousand times every day, this is not real LeBron James. Is LeBron James a thousandaire?

[Co-host]

No.

[Mike]

Is LeBron James a millionaire?

[Co-host]

I know.

[Mike]

Is LeBron James a billionaire?

[JD]

Yes.

[Mike]

Oh, shit. Okay. LeBron James tweeted because a game lost service during a crucial moment. LeBron James tweeted, Tell me that game didn't just cut off. Am I tripping? What the hell? Somebody then responded, broke ass. My is running smooth.

[JD]

I, I honestly, I'm not mad at it. What opportunity would you have a chance to call a billionaire broke? Especially just one and up getting a one up.

[Mike]

No.

[Caller 3]

That is hilarious, bro.

[Mike]

Nick called him a broke ass. Somebody said I don't do two mens.

[Caller 3]

I'm going to see both of these by myself.

[JD]

That's rage. Sometimes that might work, though.

[Co-host]

I've been.

[JD]

That might be more effective.

[Mike]

No, definitely more.

[JD]

Because you can tell the person really likes you there. If that happens, too. Especially they invite you. And there's two girls.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Caller 3]

Okay, this.

[Mike]

Okay, this is the. One of the funniest tweet of the weeks I had.

[Caller 3]

All right.

[Mike]

Last one. It says my son will definitely not be a junior.

[Caller 3]

That's the highest level of dick riding a dude. It is, though.

[Mike]

I'm mad as hell in my dad now.

[Caller 3]

Like, yo, what the fuck?

[Co-host]

When it's always tough.

[Pat]

Like, I would.

[JD]

I would not name my kid Michael just because it's very. Mike is a very basic name.

[Pat]

It's just like, there's enough Michaels in the world.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[JD]

I feel like if you have a

[Pat]

basic name, it's like, all right, bro,

[JD]

you can give it up now.

[Mike]

Come on, now. You see me, There would never be another. I would never do that to another kid. And they like, why the would I name somebody Patrick? But this is so stupid. Like, you know how many times. You know how many Patrick's I met? Like, the. Not even special no more.

[JD]

Yeah, it is.

[Mike]

Like, yeah, like, we both Patrick's. You know what I'm saying now, like, your name. If you met somebody with your exact name, like, y' all probably dinner got the same daddy.

[Caller 3]

You know what I'm saying?

[Mike]

Like, yeah, like, something happened. Like, y' all mamas know each other, and it was beefing over.

[Caller 3]

Yeah. At least you guys have. There's only room for one of us.

[Mike]

Okay, last topic. Okay, let me know how you deal with bad days. Right? Are you more about ending a bad day by wrapping it up with, like, positives to end the day? So you just had a shitty day. You're gonna spend your last two hours doing something you want to do or do you end bad days by just cutting off that day and just be like, I'm done for the day.

[Pat]

I. I cut off the day.

[Mike]

You cut off the day?

[Caller 11]

Yeah.

[JD]

Yeah.

[Mike]

You don't keep trying.

[JD]

No, I don't.

[Pat]

I lit.

[JD]

I legit will cut off my day. I just go to, like, my. Cutting off my day would be like

[Pat]

laying down in my bed, headphones on, and watching some random things on YouTube.

[Mike]

That's cutting it off.

[JD]

That's cutting.

[Pat]

That's kind of.

[Mike]

You're not trying to go out like, oh, let me try to go out to the club after having.

[Co-host]

No, no, because you don't.

[Gene]

It's not gonna go smooth.

[Mike]

I'm like, I'm all about. Like, if I'm having a bad day, like, why end it there? You get what I'm saying? Like, let's see how bad this shit can get. Because I, like, resets. Like, I can reset through sleep. Like, when I wake up, I got a new mentality. I know what not to do. But, like, like, if I had a bad day, I'm going to the club and I'm shoulder bumping. Like, let's do this.

[Pat]

Not real crash House.

[Caller 3]

Like, bro, I'm sick of this, though.

[Pat]

I feel like for me to, like, actually think that it can get worse, I really had to hit, like, it

[JD]

had to be something really bad that happened.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[JD]

To a point where I say, it can't get any worse than this.

[Mike]

Never say that, bro.

[Caller 3]

It's going to be a meteor that strike your house.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Pat]

Oh, man. Anyway, hope you guys enjoyed the podcast. A little Running Gun type of session here we had.

[Co-host]

We're gonna be back in studio probably not next week. We do got a special guest coming up. We're supposed to have another guest.

[Pat]

We're supposed to have, like, two guests for this pod.

[Mike]

We got a lot of guests coming up.

[Pat]

We still have two guests for this one.

[Co-host]

You watching. But happens, you know, had a little

[Pat]

cancellation, but, you know, we. We pushed through.

[Co-host]

Appreciate y' all supporting us. The live shows have been amazing. It's been great meeting you all, and I just want the support to continue. Patreon is still half off this month. Merch is available maybe only at live shows right now, but it's going to be restocked for the. The Crash Route ones and any other things we got to announce.

[Mike]

No, we chilling bros, and keep popping out at the live shows. Remember, low ticket sales all over. Either they low ticket sales so where they about to sell out or they low ticket sales or where we not going to come to that venue.

[Caller 3]

So it's low ticket sales.

[Co-host]

No, but y' all tickets for sure. Crashdomeslive.com yeah. See y' all next week. Peace.