Is It For Sale?

Summary

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Crash Dummies Podcast with Pat and Mike

Episode 229: "Is It For Sale?"
Release Date: October 22, 2025
Hosts: Patrick Johnson & Michael Esiobu

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Episode Overview

Pat and Mike return with another freewheeling, comic discussion of modern relationships, internet trends, and social dynamics—this week, exploring the theme “Is It For Sale?” They’re joined by their recurring guest Gene and a range of call-in guests, who offer both hilarious and unexpectedly candid revelations. The episode combines signature banter, deep dives into current behaviors (from viral dating trends to awkward club etiquette), and a series of interactive audience calls, culminating in stories about revenge, body image, and authenticity in both life and relationships.

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Key Themes and Discussions

1. Viral Trends & the Language of the Internet

[01:00 – 03:40]

• Pat and Mike riff on how rapidly internet lingo and viral phenomena (like “6, 7” and Fortnite dances) diffuse through generations. They wonder at how normalized these things get with even very young kids.
• They joke about how context matters: using things like dance moves or catchphrases in certain situations just doesn’t land ("If a 14-year-old comes up to me like, ‘hey six seven,’ I’d be like, ‘yeah, watch out.’" – Pat [01:50]).

On literal language:

• They mock over-literal critiques that nitpick phrases like "my life did a 360" instead of "180," poking fun at the way social media corrects every slip, and reflect on how in other cultures language is more flexible ([16:02]).

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2. The Reluctance to “Shoot Your Shot” in Modern Dating

[05:01 – 08:11]

• The hosts discuss a viral video: a man is hesitant to DM a girl he likes, preferring to just like her stories. The conversation spins off into perspectives on rejection avoidance and emotional labor in pursuing relationships.

  • "I'm not trying to find out. I'm comfortable where I'm at." – Pat [05:20]
  • "Y'all shooting y'all shot, y'all more likely to be successful at it." – Pat [05:31]

• They unpack the common cycle of both men and women wanting to be wanted, but also fearing rejection (with Pat describing stories where both sides are waiting for the other to make a move, only for things to fizzle).

• "I haven't been rejected a lot because I don't shoot my shot a lot." – Mike [07:58]

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3. Rejection, Bravery, and Maturity in Social Interactions

[08:11 – 11:30]

• Pat jokes about the old practice of having friends talk to your crush on your behalf, and how there’s an age limit for that "shield".

  • "After college, this shit is dead." – Pat [09:52]

• They analyze how masculine displays, even in approaching women, feed into broader dating expectations. Pat stresses the importance of men making the first move, especially in clubs—women, he argues, interpret "sending a friend" as a lack of confidence ("Every girl want to be swept off their feet."). [11:00]

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4. The Art of Manipulation & Petty Revenge

[11:46 – 15:00]

• Pat and Mike compare their approaches to conflict and revenge. Mike admits, "I like my revenge to slow cook a little bit" [12:58], while Pat claims he’d rather be upfront and direct.

• They riff on exaggerated punishments, like "buying his mama’s house and throwing parties in her old room," as a way to cope with slights.

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5. Accidental Dangers & Trust in Public Spaces

[18:00 – 20:15]

• The hosts are amused by how mundane acts (sneezing or taking off a hoodie while driving) can lead to real danger—pointing out how much trust is required of others on the road.
  • "Nigga tried to fix his hoodie and killed me." – Pat [18:50]
  • "You know how bad I would beat somebody ass if we got in an accident and he hopped out like, 'my bad, bro. I sneeze. Allergies.'" – Pat [19:24]

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6. Modern Morality & “Is It For Sale?”

[20:33 – 32:00] | Main Segment

• Call-in with Gene [32:28] sets up the episode’s core theme:

  • Gene, who works retail, complains about married men flirting at work. The conversation flips: would it still be a problem if they offered money?

    "Gene: $3,000, I might gotta give them what they want.
    Pat: That's for sale. I want to let you know that's pretty cheap, too." [30:38]

  • In-depth discussion of transactional relationships, joking about the “retail prostitution” and comparing the cost of a TV ($2,800) to Gene’s tongue-in-cheek “price.”

  • Mike points out: "The only reason you have a problem with married men hitting on single women is because they haven't offered money." [31:36]

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7. Club & Social Etiquette

[33:29 – 36:43]

• Callers discuss pet peeves, including:
  • Men standing on club couches for attention ("like, what is this nigga, a villain or something?" – Pat [34:05])
  • Men snatching hookah from women’s sections, described as "zesty" and thief-like behavior.

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8. Painful Realizations: Body Image, Habits, and Self-Torture

[38:35 – 54:31]

• Several call-in guests share deep admissions:
  1. Personal weight struggles:
     • A guest opens up about difficulties in losing weight, the cycle of progress and backsliding, and the need for gradual habit-building ("try to start just by walking"). The hosts respond with both encouragement and humor ("I'm not sending you a 5X, I'll send you a 4X. I don't support that." – Pat [43:15]).
  2. Revenge relationships:
     • A candid story about a woman who takes elaborate sexual revenge on a cheating ex, blending her emotional process with literal transactions:
       • “I used to be such a nice girl...I was being very nice. So coming into this now, I’m like, oh, I’m gonna torture him.” – Gene [46:46]
       • "Getting came on is not a good revenge tactic." – Pat [52:28]
     • The guest confesses that what started as revenge became something she began to enjoy, raising questions of self-worth, pleasure, and healing.

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9. Internet Content Pet Peeves

[54:54 – 60:04]

• Guest: Annoyed by unnecessary weed packaging ("PlayStation box weed, fake AirPods case,” etc.), feeling that branding has gone overboard.
• Another caller vents about "trauma dumping" and “engagement farming” on LinkedIn, where personal tragedies are used as preambles for sales pitches:
  • “I’m just tired of LinkedIn becoming a medium for trauma dumping...and then they try to sell you something.” – Guest [57:23]
  • Pat jokes: "If you use chatgpt, at least erase the long ass dashes, you ass niggas." [59:23]

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10. Relationship “Experts” & Social Media Gurus

[60:23 – 64:07]

• Callers and hosts joke about social media “boyfriend do this or you a sucker” trends and TikTok advice that sets unrealistic expectations (flowers and steak every month).
  • “Flowers and steak, that's once a month. Like, a steak, like 14, and flowers like three. That’s 17.” – Pat [62:54]

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11. Over-Explaining, Vulnerability and Taking Accountability

[64:13 – 67:32]

• A listener over-explains his story about over-explaining, as Pat and Mike humorously point out mid-call—gently ribbing him about self-awareness and learning from mistakes.

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12. Gender Dynamics in Relationships & Arguments

[68:15 – 85:19]

• Pat and Mike discuss how men in relationships often try to give “the other perspective” and then get caught up in women’s intuition, sometimes using technicalities in arguments to distract from the core issue:
  • “That's how you get the instant side-eye of judgment.” – Pat [68:43]
  • "If you find out she was a 10 before and then you find out she makes super dark humor jokes... Are you going to take those jokes home?" – Pat [80:08]
• Extended riff on what to do if you see your friend's partner cheating in public, with Pat favoring “evidence first, then notification,” while Mike contemplates just leaving it alone [83:15–86:00].

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Transactional Relationships:
  • "So it's for sale?" (Pat [30:28])
  • "No, it's not for sale!" (Gene/Laughing [30:31])
• On revenge gone awry:
  • "Getting nutted on is not a good revenge tactic. Why do you have to involve yourself like that?" – Pat [52:28]
• On the dangers of language policing:
  • "We're the only country that does that." – Pat [16:30]
• On taking compliment from strangers:
  • "If you're not interested in me, I don't care that you find me handsome. Keep it to yourself." – Quoted Tweet [95:24]
• On the “rating” system in dating:
  • "The rating only matters to people that you can obtain. So it's dumb, it's a made up thing." – Pat [78:25]
• On adversity and real love:
  • "It's a lot of people that love. They think they love unconditionally, but the thing that they would stop loving for is just unlikely to happen." – Pat [82:38]
• On the absurdity of club culture:
  • “Standing on a couch is for the aesthetic of the club...when it’s a dude that’s mean mugging the whole crowd...what is this nigga, a villain or something?” – Pat [34:05]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Timestamp | Segment / Discussion | |-----------|---------------------| | 01:00–03:40 | Viral trends and language policing | | 05:01–08:11 | Dating: “shooting your shot,” rejection | | 09:45–11:30 | Friendship and "wingman" etiquette | | 16:02–17:56 | Literalism and English language quirks | | 18:00–20:15 | Accidental car crashes: trust and risk | | 20:33–32:00 | Main segment: “Is It For Sale?” & transactional relationships | | 33:29–36:43 | Club etiquette: standing on couches, hookah theft | | 38:35–44:31 | Weight, self-image, motivation (call-in) | | 46:25–54:31 | Revenge, pleasure, and complicated healing (call-in) | | 54:54–60:04 | Weed packaging / LinkedIn trauma dumping | | 60:23–64:07 | Social media “relationship experts” criticized | | 64:13–67:32 | Over-explaining & self-awareness (call-in) | | 68:15–73:52 | Gender dynamics, arguments, women’s intuition | | 76:20–82:05 | Rating systems, adversity, and real love | | 83:15–88:25 | Cheating: what would you do if you catch a friend’s partner? | | 95:24–96:16 | Compliments from strangers & their effect | | 97:26–98:25 | Listener stories & closing thoughts |

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Episode Highlights

• Candid caller admissions about self-image, infidelity, and unconventional revenge made the episode especially raw and memorable.
• Sharp critique of modern dating and social etiquette, filtered through the hosts’ comedic lens, making for both honest and hilarious moments.
• Recurring punchlines: The $3,000-for-a-TV/for-a-night gag; club mean-mugging; and the ongoing "is it for sale?" motif.
• Pat and Mike’s dynamic—Pat’s quick wit and Mike’s subtle digs—keep pace throughout, even when guests veer into unexpected territory.

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Final Thoughts

This episode brings together irreverent humor, blunt relationship advice, and real listener stories, exploring the surface and depth of 2025’s dating mores and social annoyances. “Is It For Sale?” ultimately refers not just to literal transactions, but the value and cost—emotional, personal, and financial—of our choices.

Listeners come away laughing, but also thinking twice about the price tags we (sometimes unwittingly) attach to our self-worth, relationships, and authenticity.

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For show notes, guest links, and more, visit the Crash Dummies Podcast website or follow the hosts on their socials!

Transcript

[Mike]

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[Gene]

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[Pat]

Nah, be sounding like such unc saying that.

[Mike]

What's the age limit on six, seven?

[Pat]

Oh, oh, it's. It's young too. It's like 20. I was gonna say the starting age. It's like 24, bro.

[Mike]

To save you, right?

[Pat]

Wait, no. What like you talking about the appropriate age? Yes, it's 20. It's 24. Like I'm hearing four year olds saying six, seven. Yes, that's. That's what I'm saying. It's. It's down that young. It's almost like Fortnite.

[Mike]

I feel it.

[Pat]

You know what I mean?

[Mike]

If. If I'm. I might emote the 6, 7 thing for. For edit. If in boxing.

[Pat]

Yes. It's a song.

[Mike]

At the end of the day I might emote it. No, I'm in my everyday conversation. If I somebody like if we're having a conversation and then just out of nowhere if I say something 6, 7, they do me like 6, 7. Like in a normal conversation. I would think it's weird.

[Pat]

That's the problem. It's okay. If a 14 year old come up to me like hey six seven. I'd be like, yeah, watch out.

[Mike]

Little do.

[Pat]

No, but it would be acceptable though, right? Like if someone did it in a basketball game or football game, that's acceptable.

[Mike]

What about in 43U?

[Pat]

In 43U.

[Mike]

Nah.

[Pat]

Smoking cigarettes. Okay, that's six seven two five. Niggas be smoking that. Halftime. I got 200 yards. I need a drag. Fuck. Three game.

[Mike]

Mid game cigarettes. Crazy. I feel like mid game anything was kind of crazy.

[Pat]

The fucked up part about it is the best people in semi pro probably got the worst habits.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Like you literally the person that's smoking weed in a parking lot is probably the best player. That's the reason why he there. They ain't got no discipline, man.

[Mike]

Bro, the kids that smoked weed in high school and were really good at sports. And that's before like I've ever like, done any drugs or anything like that.

[Pat]

I said drugs? How many drugs do you do actually.

[Mike]

There this week.

[Gene]

Back?

[Pat]

I ain't gonna say what I was supposed to say, cuz it's gonna get bad. But y' all know what to spam in the chat.

[Mike]

But before, like I. I've maybe like smoked any weed or anything like that, there was a more of an emphasis. Like, if you smoke weed, it's gonna make you lazy, dumb, everything, right? Honor roll student, smoked weed. Best athlete on the team, smoked weed. I was like, wait, who's lying in this situation? This just not the outliers or. But I think for some people, it doesn't work.

[Pat]

Six, seven, that way. It depends, man. In the KISS tv, you know. Boy, that is crazy.

[Mike]

Anyway, welcome to crash dummies, episode 229. I'm Mike. We got Pat here, we got our boy Gene here. They got a classic fit on today too. I liked it. It's calm, it's regular. What's the inspiration today?

[Pat]

I just. I just moved. So this is what I. What I can see how you. Is y' all gonna let him on y' all like that? That's great. I couldn't be me. Just moved on to better. He literally. He literally just on y' all like, yeah, this some moving. Before you said that it was a N. Like, yeah, that's the type of. I like Gene them shits right there. Then you said that moving shit. It fucked him up.

[Mike]

Y' all might see Pat's outfit change a couple times. This pod just once, maybe. It depends because we shot multiple days. So you might see his outfit.

[Pat]

If my outfit changed one more time, that mean I'm fed up. That means today was ass. I. I saw this skit that I really like. So basically it's a guy and a girl across the street from each other, basically sitting on their car, right? And they're looking at each other and they're basically having a discussion slash argument about the subject that they're going to talk about. I'll let you see that on the video. But it's just funny how this is the Dayton perspective right now. And I thought it was hilarious with some people. Men and women experience both sides of it.

[Mike]

So the title of the video is. I think you Just sent it over. When you never shoot your shot?

[Pat]

Yeah, it's about shooting your shot.

[Gene]

So you just gonna keep liking my story and not say anything? Yeah, what's the point?

[Pat]

I like the way you look, but I ain't gonna DM you and get rejected.

[Gene]

But you don't even know if I'm gonna reject you or not.

[Pat]

I know. And I'm not trying to find out. I'm comfortable where I'm at.

[Gene]

Do you expect me to talk to you first or something?

[Pat]

That would be amazing. But, nah, you ain't gotta do all that.

[Gene]

Why do men always want us to do all the work?

[Pat]

We don't. But the ratio of y' all shooting y' all shot as opposed to us, y' all more than likely to be successful at it.

[Gene]

It sounds like you just scared.

[Pat]

Nah, I ain't scared. I just like the peace that I have. And I ain't trying to deal with the stress of trying to figure out if you into me or not. I ain't got time for it.

[Gene]

But clearly I'm talking to you now.

[Mike]

You got a point.

[Pat]

How about you meet me halfway?

[Gene]

Why?

[Pat]

I just need confirmation, but I'm literally.

[Gene]

Giving you all the signals.

[Pat]

I'm near sighted. I need to see that thing in 4K. I'm walking now. Just trying to make sure it's mutual.

[Gene]

Okay.

[Pat]

You see, Things are becoming more clear now.

[Gene]

Great. So you can walk the rest of the way.

[Pat]

Hell nah. Come on. Come on.

[Gene]

Women should not have to do all this. I'm just saying.

[Pat]

Yeah, but look how things are easier now. We both have an understanding and nobody gets rejected. Simple.

[Gene]

Okay, but what about after? What if I don't like you? Or vice versa. It's still the same process.

[Pat]

We gonna cross that road when we get there?

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

There we go.

[Mike]

How you doing? Yeah.

[Gene]

Nah, you way too short for me.

[Pat]

I just think that's hilarious, though, that people will have conversations with people about, like, potentially being with them and then not with them. Like, my sister just recently told me a story.

[Mike]

What do you mean?

[Pat]

So, like, basically, in this situation, the dude, she been liking the dude pictures, right? But the dude never responded. He never got aggressive and stuff like that. And then one day, she was out with her friends drinking. They dared her to DM him, so she DMed him. And then he said, I've been waiting on you to hit me up finally. And then they started talking, and then he ghosted her, which is not funny, but it's funny in the sense of, like, that I feel like I've Heard so many experiences like that from guys and girls where it's like. Basically it's like, oh, you got to be aggressive to get this. You got to ask me out on a date. And then they do the said things and still get rejected. Because I think some people like to be wanted.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Yeah. And they want to be wanted, and they want people to want them, and they sometimes don't want that to go away, even though they don't want to be with that person.

[Mike]

I think the dude, too. The dude fury and rejection thing is a real thing.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

I would say for myself, I haven't been rejected a lot because I don't shoot my shot a lot.

[Pat]

The same area.

[Mike]

So it's like, I don't really know the. That feeling like trying actually putting my full effort trying to get with somebody.

[Pat]

Hey, good old man. Some of y' all niggas is brave, boy. I got a homeboy that would talk to every girl in the park. I mean, he don't give a fuck who see him. He start from finest all the way down to the most. What he think is unattractive. Like, he go, go. He gonna work it all the way down, and he don't give a. I can't even. Boy, if I get rejected, I might not talk to a woman for five.

[Mike]

Definitely got rejected in, like, middle school, grade school type of thing.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

But I feel like you're more courageous. I think you also have the shield when you're a kid. The shield of telling your friend to tell the girl that you like her.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

So that's that shield. So it was easier to do that. And the rejection does get passed along, but it's more embarrassing to them because there's two people that.

[Pat]

It's not embarrassing. You can lie. I don't know why the fuck you would say the Jean.

[Mike]

That is a cheat call. Yeah.

[Pat]

Why would I like her?

[Mike]

Right?

[Pat]

Go to bathroom and cry.

[Mike]

Why?

[Pat]

What's the age limit on that? Using your friend as a barrier to, like, oh, it's raps.

[Mike]

I think it's also like, college. It depends how it's done.

[Pat]

Yes.

[Mike]

It depends how it's done.

[Pat]

Yes. It's a mature one, I think, like.

[Mike]

Say, is Pat would told me, like, hey, bro, go talk to her and see how I'm feeling. How she feeling. He would not do that. It's my responsibility to do that first. If I know he's, like, kind of feeling the girls type of thing, then I can kind of go in. And especially if, like, this girl, somebody I talk to or like friends or same circle. I can kind of fill it out a little bit too, because she gonna probably start asking me questions, and I'm like, okay, this is what it is.

[Pat]

Yes. I think the mature way of doing it after a certain age, I feel like after college, this shit is dead.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Let's just keep it at that. But anything after that, the mature way to do it is to view you in that. So, like, let's say back in the day, you're like, let's. It's this girl that I like.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

My job is to now look at your interaction from a bird's eye view to let you know after the conversation if she feeling you or not. You can kind of get signs like, oh, bro, when you was over here, she kept staring at you and looking at you and she was smiling. Right? So that's like, a good sign that you can help your boy with. But as far as, like, going up to the girl like, yo, you feeling my man?

[Mike]

It's like, yo, see?

[Pat]

What the fuck?

[Mike]

And I think it only. I feel like you shouldn't do that. Like, there's an age limit only for when you're in the same room as the girl.

[Pat]

Yes, yes.

[Mike]

Because there are situations where it's like, oh, I have a friend that I would want you to meet. I think you guys, you know, just hit it off. Something like that.

[Pat]

Yes.

[Mike]

But like, if you're all in the same room and say, hey, bro, go see if she's feeling me. Yeah.

[Pat]

I was thinking more of a club setting.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Pat]

In the club setting. Like, that's. That's terrible. Like, every girl. People don't know that's actually offensive to girls. Like, some dudes don't know that. Like, the super offensive is like, oh, you don't think I'm beautiful enough to talk to me in front of everybody? Because every girl want to be swept off their feet. Every girl, like, especially ones that's looking for a relationship, they want to be able to tell the story about how the y' all first interaction was. So if it's not something natural or you being very masculine in that sense of, like, showing everybody, like, I like her, I want her. I don't care who looking. Then she. How's she gonna tell that story to mama? You know what I mean? Like, oh, how y' all meet? Oh, he told his friend that I got a fat ass.

[Mike]

She got the fat ass, Ms. Terry.

[Pat]

Just like you. I see where she get it from. No, I'm kidding. Don't do that. I hate When I tell jokes like that, somebody DM me. Like, pat, that was the best advice ever, bro.

[Mike]

Have you ever had the urge to want to help somebody argue? Like, you hear about, like, your friends, like, problems and give him some ammo.

[Pat]

You try to load the clip for them. My thing with you, I trick you, though, what? Into, like, if I want you to do something, I go over what I want you to do. Cause I know that you're never gonna do exactly what you said. Like, I do some extreme shit.

[Mike]

Like.

[Pat]

Like, yeah, you know that dude we don't. Like, he was looking at me crazy. I'd be like, man, shoot that nigga in the head. Might just be like, yeah, but I just unfollowed him on Instagram. I don't fuck with him no more. Like, yeah, that's what I wanted him to do. But if I would have told him unfollow him, he'd have been like, nah. Cause he always look at me as, like, the harsher person. Like, I'm harsh or some shit.

[Mike]

No, I know. I. I know I could be harsh sometimes.

[Pat]

Yeah, you, like, you kind of evil. Like, I'm like, people view me as, like, this sparky person. But yes, in person at the time, I might do the eviler shit out of it, too, right? I might react faster than you.

[Mike]

I think you might react faster. And I would say the way I like my revenge is like, I like it to slow cook a little bit.

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're a slow cooker.

[Mike]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Pat]

I want to stab him right through the mike. Like, yeah, man, we gonna buy this nigga mama house just laid out there.

[Mike]

We buy his mama house and we.

[Pat]

Put a fucking bomb in that.

[Mike]

What the fuck? And we set the house on fire.

[Pat]

Nah, we keep throwing parties in his mama old room and shit. Shit crazy here. You know your mom left for wigs, right? Yo, let's take a quick break from today's podcast and thank our sponsors. DraftKings. All your favorite NBA players are back. And DraftKings Sportsbook, an official sports betting partner of the NBA, is a place to bet on the NBA stars for this season.

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[Pat]

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[Mike]

I kind of hate that we are so literal with the human, the English language.

[Pat]

What do you mean by that?

[Mike]

Because you know how we used to all say, oh, I just did a a360 in my life or my life just did 360.

[Pat]

Right? And people get.

[Mike]

And then people start over analyzing it. Like now I see people saying I just did a complet 180, right? Yeah. And I hate that because if somebody does want to say 360, it's like everybody wants to be like, that's you just started back where you started.

[Pat]

Yeah, we, we're only, we're the only country that I do that I feel like Every other language, there's different ways to say things. And they kind of just want you.

[Mike]

To because is that. Yeah, I know what you mean.

[Pat]

I feel like the other countries where I learned from being in the airport in London, wherever we were, where the we were, is that there's more people that speak different languages there and obviously in their airports and like more people that cross and more people that have to communicate without knowing the same language.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And they just get the fucking job done. Like, obviously, hey, we don't speak the same type of thing, but we going to talk in this base language here. You use your. Instead of yours. Got like 50 niggas in your comments. Like the. But y' all knew what I meant though, right?

[Mike]

And I think it's. It is like that thing the English language is like. I think with especially like some Nigerian languages, words can mean like, things or like phrases like my last name, it means the day shall be. Right. And then that can be interpreted differently. So. But the same way, if somebody says my Life did a360, you should interpret that. You know what I'm talking about? But people want to, like, change the. Like, now we're going to do 180. That's not technically, that's not right. It's like, it's not a technical term, but even.

[Pat]

But like, if you think about a 180, it's just like flipping the other way technically. But a 360 would be like, you turn it around. And that's why I thought the definition was like, I did a total360. I turned it all the way around.

[Mike]

Right.

[Pat]

That's what I'm saying.

[Mike]

Like that. But definitely that sounds right.

[Pat]

Yeah, I'm like, I'm doing a 360. Like, I'm turning my around. What? I do a 184. There's some out here just doing 90 constantly. Just take it. Take a look. Yeah, he just jumping side to side. He ain't going shit. There's a video of this woman. She's recording herself driving. She's trying to take off her hoodie while driving. It gets stuck on top of her head and she can't see. And in the video, you see her swerve, catch the swerve, and then end up pulling a hoodie over in like a half nelson position where she still got her arms in it. And the quote tweet above it, which I thought is very interesting, is like, somebody like this will kill a safe driver. You can be safely driving perfectly fine following all the rules. Actually, like, be on, like, have your P on your P's and Q's and actually looking for people if you in the wrong spot. Like, oh, these people look like they might hit me and still die from somebody. Just something simple, like not even drinking and driving. Like, nigga tried to fix his fucking hoodie and kill me.

[Mike]

Like, it's so much like trust we have to have in each other on the road. It's just like that. Like we all trying to keep each other safe and we're both trying to stay safe. And that's a lot of trust to like, to have with other humans.

[Pat]

My homie's sister got into a crash from sneezing. Like, she's sneezing, I guess, swerved and like hit somebody. Hey, I want to let you know, you know how bad I would beat somebody ass if we got in an accident. And then he hopped out. I was like, my bad, bro. I sneeze allergies. Like, I'd rather him be drunk or something. Like, oh, you're a drunk driver, you sneeze. That's why my car total like, you got me fucked up. You did.

[Mike]

There are other people that get into car accidents. Like, the first thing they do is take a picture.

[Pat]

They can't believe it. Yeah, I used to. I used to shame them and now I don't anymore because that shit is amazing sometimes, especially if you've been in a really bad one.

[Mike]

I'm not talking about like the day be after or something. I'm talk like, just happened. Yeah, Like, I was like, damn, bro. He's like, yeah, this just happened. Yeah, Like, I just feel like there's more per conversations now, man.

[Pat]

Record all that, bro. I can't Believe this, bro.

[Mike]

LeBron did and.

[Pat]

Devil tried to get me again. You got to put that gin down. The devil, that's drinking and driving.

[Mike]

I drove past a 24 hour adult video store and I'm wondering, yeah, God.

[Pat]

Damn.

[Mike]

Should we shame people that still buy their porn physically?

[Pat]

I. I don't trust. I wouldn't trust anybody that buys their porn physically. Because I feel like anytime some people have footage of something like raw tapes, I think they're also doing other. That's like crimes like Big Guy, you.

[Mike]

Know what I mean?

[Pat]

It's just like, why, why, why is. Why are you so afraid to have this on the Internet? Some people be collectors, I guess. No, something about. Because I got DVDs though.

[Mike]

Really?

[Pat]

I got. Yeah, I got like Scarface. I got like, poke.

[Mike]

I.

[Pat]

I thought he did too, and I was gonna let him slide too.

[Mike]

I was like, you don't want to judge your friend. But we definitely woke up. That would have been our first conversation when we left this place. Maybe I would have called each other, be like, bro, porn DVDs, onion booty.

[Pat]

Do you rent? No, I'm kidding. They got a rent system.

[Gene]

Like. Yeah.

[Pat]

My point was like, you know, I got like. You were just talking about paying for all the streaming services too. You know, like, I do that and I have like DVDs. So it's just like a thing, you know, about like. But collectors but, like, who are that deeply invested because you gotta.

[Mike]

You only got a limited amount to watch. It's like you just go, I'm gonna watch this one today. This one. Because usually what they like 44 minutes an hour.

[Pat]

I like that though. It's almost like having like a record player. Yeah, I like if you got a little Blu Ray and you can put it on, just that set the mood a little bit. That's romantic as hell. That's all it could you to watch Shrek too, bro. Or. Or Toy Story.

[Mike]

Towards the end of it, I taped over it.

[Pat]

Oh, watch this.

[Mike]

This.

[Pat]

This is classic. About to get up halfway through the movie. We ain't going to see the best scene. Watch this.

[Mike]

My dad was the worst when it came to taping over stuff on VH vhs.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

So, you know, you have the VHA player, VHS player. And my dad would record like, I tried VHS player. My dad would record just like childhood moments and stuff like that, Right. And then you try to re watch it and it's like it cuts into something else completely from like the next day or like some random thing in funeral, like a bird or some. And it's just like my dad wasn't good at like organizing like once. This is like Mike's first steps walk videotape. You can't just use the same tape and tape something over. And now it's like a double exposure and like that.

[Pat]

Oh, he was that up. I had like my favorite one. I used to have like a Rugrats tape. And it was like orange. And then a bunch of movies started using like the orange tapes and shit.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And that used to me up because my dumb ass thought like, oh, it gotta be Rugrats, Nickelodeon. They just made all their tapes. Yeah, that shit was ass.

[Mike]

He said, which one is Rugrats? The orange one.

[Pat]

Oh. So there's some shit that I just found out. I wish I knew the name of the podcast because I would hate for somebody to do this to me. But it was on TikTok. I couldn't find a name, but it was. I think it was a producer. Don't know his name. He was talking about Same Girl by R. Kelly. Usher.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And, like, he was telling the backstory of it, like, how it came together. So R. Kelly wrote Same Girl. Right. And then they had the big idea of instead of singing it by yourself, because, you know, R. Kelly has done that before with Trapped in the Closet.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Instead. Instead of singing it by yourself, why don't you have someone sing the other verse? So they said, oh, Usher is perfect. They were signed to the same label and they had never did a song together, so it'll make the song even bigger. They sent the song to Usher. Usher took the part that he now has that everybody knows. And he wasn't supposed to take that part because R. Kelly was mad that he took that part because he asked the producer, do you think Usher could take my girl? And he was dead ass serious. Like, he was mad at the dude, like, do you think Usher can take my girl? So then they argued about it, and it was. I don't have the clip.

[Mike]

Okay, go ahead. I thought you had a clip. No, no, no, no.

[Pat]

I don't know where the clip at. And then they argued about it. Should I just play final clip?

[Mike]

No.

[Pat]

So you think I'm explaining it well?

[Mike]

Yeah, you explain it well.

[Pat]

Okay.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Pat]

Then they argued about it, and that's why the girls end up being twins at the end, because R. Kelly didn't want anybody thinking that Usher could take his girl.

[Mike]

And so, like, the concept was different.

[Pat]

Yeah. So they changed the concept. It was just supposed to be like, I took your girl, like, same girl and stuff like that. But R. Kelly didn't like that Usher took that verse. The one. Yeah, yeah.

[Mike]

But I think the Rock has, like, they say the Rock has, like, a clause in his contract where he can't get beat up or he can't lose a fight. And what a movie he's in.

[Pat]

So I feel it. It's almost like getting dunked on. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, people. Like, people will use that footage against me. You know, there's. There's footage of Kevin Hart getting humped by Shaq, like, over a car. You ever seen that one? Like, he bent Kevin Hart over and, like, I don't remember that, but it's.

[Mike]

Just like, I think I saw that in the corner of the street of. Of pirate piracy website.

[Pat]

They'll know what I'm talking about.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Pat]

But it's like a Clip like that. And like, obviously he did that for comedy at the time.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And now people try to use that against him. So just like, anytime you try to make fun of yourself or do something, the Internet's always going to come by. So, like, why do that if you don't have to? The R. Kelly was never going like, you never. Cuz, what if we get into it one day? We not boys.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Cuz, you know, back then I used to think everybody that feature on the song with each other, I used to.

[Mike]

Do or best friends made the song together. Like they were in the studio, they locked in.

[Pat]

I thought Drake and Lil Wayne hung out every day. I'm like, they cousins. Them niggas probably eating cereal right now.

[Mike]

These days. These days, the artists. You do a feature for somebody and the. The feature artist might not even know the name of actual artist. Yeah. At all.

[Pat]

Just like, damn.

[Mike]

I'll with him on the track of what's his. What's his name?

[Pat]

That was a crazy lyric. I'm on a track, but what's his name? It's so disrespectful.

[Mike]

Some of the Kodak was saying, like.

[Pat]

Run and say insert artist, whatever name is. Oh, there was this battle rapper that did that New Jersey twerk. Dude gave New Jersey twerk a deposit to do a verse on his track. And New Jersey twerk was taken all day, so dude thought New Jersey twerk scammed him. But New Jersey twerk was just taken all day. So when he found out that dude posted like New Jersey twerk scam me. He finished the verse and on the verse is dissing that n. He's like this trash ass song. La da da da da da da da da. He's like, la dee da de da. Trash, trash, trash, fat ass. Yo, your verse.

[Gene]

Hi.

[Pat]

Yo, what's good?

[Gene]

What's up?

[Pat]

Welcome to Crash on these podcast. How are y' all wagwani?

[Mike]

I got a question for you.

[Gene]

What?

[Mike]

Huh? What's something you want to see less of.

[Gene]

Married men hitting on single women or just women in. In general?

[Pat]

You got an example of this?

[Gene]

I do. Sorry I'm doing laundry. But I work for a pretty big retail company and every single guy there that's married just wants to talk to me. It's horrible. Are you single and one of them. I am one of them. So creepy. But he has money, so maybe. Just kidding. He has been working with that company since 1983. I was born in 1992.

[Pat]

God damn.

[Gene]

And he just told me the other day, he's like, yeah, you're hot. I said, whoa.

[Pat]

Well, we know what color he is. No doubt about that. There's only one cut, one type of person using that lingo right there. You're hot. It's crazy. What was your response?

[Gene]

I just walked away and told him I had to go clock in for my shift and I just left.

[Pat]

You didn't report him?

[Gene]

No. What if he throws me some money? I can't report that.

[Pat]

See, There, you see?

[Mike]

You want them to stop, but then you're enabling them by giving them hope.

[Pat]

I sure got the money. That's why she's saying. I think she received money, because why the second time has been brought up. Yeah, you're right.

[Gene]

Like, if he's gonna throw some stacks, this ass is gonna go in a circle.

[Pat]

Have you ever. Have you ever received money from any of these guys?

[Gene]

No. And that's the sad part. Like, what you waiting for? Yeah. So if you want it, you gonna pay.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Pat]

Wait, one what though? Wait, wait, won't. What?

[Gene]

Whatever they want.

[Pat]

Oh, my God. So it's for sale?

[Gene]

No, it's not for sale.

[Pat]

But you say if they give you money, they can get whatever they want. It's for bribe.

[Gene]

Hey, man, $3,000. I might gotta give them what they want.

[Pat]

That's. I mean, that's for sale. I want to let you know that's pretty cheap, too.

[Gene]

That's cheap?

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah, Yeah. I said 4,000, like a few pods ago. Yeah. What's the most. What's the most expensive thing in your store? How much does this cost?

[Gene]

The most expensive thing, probably the jewelry.

[Pat]

Okay. What. What? After that, though, name something.

[Gene]

Maybe like our TV section.

[Pat]

TV section. What'd you say? The TV. What's the most expensive TV?

[Gene]

I think like 2,800.

[Pat]

Perfect.

[Mike]

Perfect.

[Pat]

Perfect.

[Gene]

Why did that. Perfect.

[Pat]

That's right around 3,000. Yeah, yeah. I mean, instead of buying a TV, they can just buy you one day. Just chilling.

[Gene]

Yeah, exactly.

[Mike]

So the only reason you have a problem with. The only reason you have a problem with married men hitting on single woman is because they haven't offered money.

[Gene]

Yes.

[Pat]

At least, you know, they weren't asked.

[Gene]

But we don't get nothing in return. How does that work?

[Mike]

Yeah. You know what they call that, right?

[Gene]

Making money. That's what.

[Mike]

Yes.

[Pat]

The oldest profession in the world.

[Gene]

Working.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

I never heard of retail. Retail prostitution is different. I lied to you. This is amazing, right?

[Mike]

In the event, can you fight?

[Gene]

I don't know.

[Mike]

Yeah, I'm just saying, like, in the event of, like, these men's, like, Wives finding out. Are you, like, equipped to.

[Gene]

Oh, yeah. Those women I can take. I'm not finding no Clarissa Shield.

[Pat]

They're all white women. She knows all the ones. That's why she knows she can take them. All right. You have a couple more. She said all right.

[Gene]

You too.

[Pat]

Check. Girl. Go get it. That is crazy.

[Mike]

Oh, man.

[Gene]

Oh, hello.

[Pat]

Hello, Hello, Hello. Hey.

[Gene]

Hey, Michael. Hey, Patrick.

[Pat]

What's it. Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo. What's up with the. The names?

[Gene]

I mean, that's. That's the names you guys are born with, right?

[Pat]

But, you know, nobody calls us that, so you're trying to get under our skin.

[Mike]

It's more. It sounds natural when it comes from a woman. I feel like I say Michael, it's. It's a more like, no, Michael, no, no.

[Pat]

Michael is not her down be funny. But Patrick is. She's trying to be funny, like she know what she doing. Patrick is uncalled for.

[Mike]

We got a question for you.

[Gene]

Okay.

[Mike]

What's something you want to see less of?

[Gene]

Okay, so I want to see less of men standing on couches in the club in their sections.

[Mike]

What's wrong with it?

[Gene]

Shit is atrocious. Because I just don't. So, me personally, I think that, like, women standing in the club, like, it's more aesthetically pleasing. Like, you know, you see pretty girls in a club and they're standing on sections having fun. Like, at least we're, like, dancing or doing something productive with our time up there. But, like, men standing on couches in the club, like, they're just standing there doing nothing.

[Mike]

Performance.

[Pat]

Yeah, that's it. You know what? I agree with you, though, because I hate. Obviously, standing on a couch is for, like, the aesthetic of the club. Like, look how lit we are. And when it's a dude that's mean mugging the whole crowd, it's just like, what is this nigga a villain or something?

[Mike]

Like, nigga look angrier than security.

[Pat]

Yeah, it's like, what's wrong with him? Did he get his bottle? I don't understand why he look like that. No, I feel it. What you gotta say to those men? What's your official message to men in the club?

[Gene]

I don't really have a message. I just don't think that you guys should be up there. I just. I just don't know what the whole point of it is. I would add to that by saying, like, stop standing on couches in the club and stop snatching hookah from the women.

[Pat]

Snatching hookah?

[Gene]

Yes. Okay, so Quick sidebar. So my friend group, I have a big friend group, and there's this guy that we know from college, and we know when we see him that he's going to be like, oh, like, let me hit the hookah.

[Pat]

So it's like a joke.

[Gene]

It's like a running joke. Now that, like, we see. So it was our homeboy's birthday, literally, like three weeks ago. We saw him, and I was like, I bet you he's going to come over here, ask us to hit the hookah. So, sure enough, he comes in, hey, guys, how's it going? Like, what's up? And he's like, that shit pouring. Yeah.

[Pat]

You're what?

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Pat]

No, I ain't going to lie.

[Mike]

That nigga is a thief.

[Pat]

No, that is like. You know, I don't say this about mustangs, but that's zesty.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Is that pulling? My. Just sit down.

[Gene]

Like, not Indian. Like, not even asking can he hit it? Like, it's like, just. Is it pulling? Yeah. Y' all gotta extra tip.

[Mike]

Yeah, that should look like it tastes good. But I think. Don't you prefer that than somebody trying to, like, sneakily try to get the hookah?

[Gene]

I mean, yeah, but I don't know. I just. I don't know. Like, these days, I don't, like, I don't go out that much anymore. But like, most places when you order hookah, they're like, oh, only a certain amount of people can be per hookah. So if it's like 10 of y', all, y' all have to order, like, three hookahs or some. So you already know we are at our limit.

[Pat]

You can't.

[Gene]

And then, like, we. Let's say we leave it alone. We go like my homegirl start twerking or some, and we come back and you just there sitting next to hookah.

[Mike]

I, like, watch niggas manning.

[Pat]

That thing is a theme capping the hookah.

[Gene]

Really plotting on the hookah is crazy.

[Pat]

No, it's crazy.

[Mike]

All right, I appreciate you. You have a good one.

[Gene]

Thanks, y', all, too. Bye.

[Pat]

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[Mike]

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[Pat]

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[Mike]

And Doug.

[Pat]

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[Mike]

Excludes Massachusetts. Yo, yo, what up? What up?

[Pat]

Yo, yo, what's the deal?

[Gene]

How you doing?

[Pat]

Welcome to Crashing Bees Podcast. You okay?

[Mike]

I got a question for you.

[Pat]

All right, all right. What's up?

[Mike]

All right. What's the most painful realization you had about yourself?

[Pat]

Okay, I don't hate myself enough.

[Mike]

Why do you say that.

[Pat]

Myself enough? Because every time I want to go.

[Gene]

Like, let's say.

[Pat]

Big, you know, I'm a big guy.

[Gene]

So every time I'm like, oh, you.

[Pat]

Give us a better, better visual. What do you mean? How much you. What? Gosh. Hold on, hold on. Let me.

[Gene]

Let me stop you, Pat. Dude. Dude, you're a dude.

[Pat]

What? You. I just asked one simple question, bro. No, no, no, listen. I literally just asked. I literally just. Just for the fans, for the people that's listening, give them. You. You say you're a big dude. I'm thinking, like, what, you six, five? Like, I don't know which was you talking about. No, no.

[Gene]

Okay, hear me out first. I texted you.

[Pat]

You. You dropped merch.

[Gene]

I texted you and I told you, hey, do you have 5x5XL?

[Pat]

And you said, are you gonna use it as a blanket? I'm like, why?

[Gene]

What the hell are you, like, generally asking a question?

[Pat]

So. And. And you posted it on. On. On your Instagram because I was like, oh, my God. But yeah, I don't. I don't run my page, bro.

[Mike]

But okay, but go. Go back to what you were saying then.

[Pat]

So now we got the answer to the visual, everybody.

[Gene]

Okay, okay, so I'm five, ten. And I'm 455.

[Pat]

But I don't look. I don't look 455. I don't look. Like, I don't look big, I'm sure. All right. I look. I don't look big, you know, Like, I don't look 455.

[Mike]

Okay, now you're right. You don't look 455.

[Pat]

You don't.

[Mike]

No.

[Pat]

See, let's see. Hold on. And I'll be the judge, though.

[Mike]

Oh, no. It was a good angle. You look 455.

[Pat]

No, he don't.

[Gene]

What?

[Pat]

Oh, he don't look for.

[Mike]

You don't. You really don't.

[Pat]

No, you don't look 455, bro, but go ahead, bro.

[Mike]

We're kind of stuck on your weight right now.

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah, it's. Oh, I think because it's in your lower half, you know, when, like, you know what?

[Mike]

You know, shaved, like a pair.

[Pat]

You know, when Squidward. You know, when Squidward broke in and ate all those crappy patties.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

That's how kind of how he. Oh, my God. You're wrong for that.

[Gene]

But anyways, so I'm always like, I.

[Pat]

Want to drop weight. I want to drop weight, and I go to the gym.

[Gene]

Like, I constantly, like, I go to the gym, but every time I go to the gym, that's a step. That's. That's one step forward.

[Pat]

But then during the day, I'm like.

[Gene]

I get hungry, and then I take.

[Pat]

Like, two, two, three steps back. A lot of food. Sorry. So I'm just like, damn, I dropped this weight. But then I gain it back. So I'm just always.

[Mike]

No real talk, though, bro. I think what you need to do is try to start. You don't have to go to the gym right away. Try to start just by walking or. I think sometimes people make that big jump and it's, like, harder to maintain. So it's like, all right, what I'm going to do first is I'm going to start walking, taking more steps. Call it 10,000 steps, right? That's what everybody kind of tries to get right. Start with just walking a lot more because then you're going to start building those habits. And the thing, like, sometimes I have to lose weight for fights and stuff like that, and everybody kind of goes through their own kind of issues. So just don't let one day ruin, like, your progress in the sense of, like, don't think because you messed up one day, then you have to mess up the next day and everything's all over.

[Pat]

Why you laughing?

[Mike]

Why are you laughing? I'm giving Jackie with advice. No, I'm not laughing.

[Pat]

He's lying. He's lying. But, no, preferably, like, walk during the day, not at night. People trying to sleep.

[Mike]

Oh, my gosh.

[Pat]

I'm just playing, bro. But you need to walk, though. I want you to be able to listen to this podcast forever. No, seriously, we don't want you to run into any health issues. That's why I'm not sending you a five. I'll send you a four X. I'm not sending no five, though, nigga, because I don't. I don't support that. Okay, you got to start walking. All right, you get a free Forex. How much? No, how much you weigh? 4, 450.

[Gene]

455.

[Pat]

450. Let's call it 470. And be real. If you drop down to. If you drop down under four, you got you free merch, and we give you free patreon for a month. How much weight? How much weight? Just. Just get under 400.

[Mike]

If it gets under 400, I will give you a hundred dollars. I would pay for your first, like, your first two months of your gym membership if you get under 400 and you can.

[Pat]

How are you supposed to get there? Pay for this right now, then?

[Mike]

Nah, I'm just saying I'll pay, like, two, three months of your membership for sure.

[Pat]

No, we. We definitely gonna hook you up. You get under 400.

[Mike]

That's. That.

[Pat]

That. That need to be a motivation. Like, I don't mean to, Like, I don't like to joke. I don't like to fat shame, but, like, I want you to be healthy. This is, like, kind of like in an unhealthy range. We want you to be here for a long time, you know, Real talk right there.

[Mike]

Real.

[Pat]

I appreciate that. I hope this will spark it, man. Definitely. Go ahead. Next time, I'm gonna send you. I'm send you a photo of my. Of my weight, like, in three, three, four months.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And I'll be like, hey, I dropped this much. So perfect. I want that. I want that 100 from the free merch. That's easy, bro. I think you can do it in less time than that. I think you do it in a month, bro.

[Mike]

I think he is not dropping £50 in a month.

[Pat]

Yes, you can, bro. In a healthy way, bro. Yes, he can, bro.

[Mike]

Don't focus on the. Just focus on just moving first.

[Pat]

Just walk.

[Mike]

Just start moving, right? And then start going to the gym. Say, hey, this week I'm Gonna go to the gym one time this week. Right. Just keep building those habits. Like, at least I'm going one time a week. And then start saying I'm gonna go two. It's just about sticking to it.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Just don't let any, like, mishaps or bad days ruin the rest of your days. You can still. One bad day is not gonna make a difference.

[Pat]

Yeah, don't try to. Also, don't try to eliminate everything at once. You hurting yourself by doing that. By trying to have those perfect days where you eating all, like, salads, and then you go into the gym, you try to do it two a day at the gym, it's going to fuck you over for the next day. It's going to be a crash out. Just eliminate one thing at a time. So let's just start walking.

[Gene]

All right, for sure.

[Mike]

You have a good one, man.

[Gene]

All right, man.

[Mike]

Take care of you too, man.

[Gene]

Okay.

[Mike]

Hello, welcome to Craftsman's Podcast.

[Pat]

Yo.

[Gene]

Yes. How are you guys?

[Pat]

Good, good, good. How you doing?

[Gene]

Good. I've been trying to, like, get on here for the longest.

[Pat]

Oh, fire, Fire.

[Mike]

Welcome, welcome.

[Pat]

I got a question for you.

[Gene]

Sure.

[Pat]

Okay. What's the most painful realization about yourself?

[Gene]

That the saddest thing is, is that I like to torture my ex. Yeah. Like, I really hate that part of me, and I love it at the same time.

[Pat]

Okay, you got to explain torture.

[Mike]

You know, when you say. When you say torture, what do you mean?

[Gene]

Like, obviously, bedroom stuff. Well, I mean, it's that and also other little things. But, like, long story short, we wore together and he cheated on me the whole four going to five years, I held it down, of course, as long as I could, but I couldn't do it no more. So I guess, like, the two, three years of me, you know, seeking my peace, health, and all that stuff, trying to get over it, I thought of a great idea of coming back with this, like, extra mean girl, sexy vibe, which I know he likes. And I just, you know.

[Pat]

How do you know he likes stuff?

[Gene]

Oh, I definitely know. Because when I, you know what say, like, he would pop up and stuff. I'd be like, okay, let's go in the room. And he'd be like, oh, nah. I'd be like, come on, come on. I know what you like. So, like, I would literally would have sex with, like, another guy, let him come on top of my, you know, my stuff, and have him licking it and, you know, all of that. So that's me torturing him, like, giving back his. What he did to me.

[Mike]

This took a. I would think it was just like. Like.

[Pat]

That'S not torture.

[Mike]

Like.

[Gene]

No, I'm telling you. Like, he liked that. Little. Little. Do he know? I mean, he likes to get slapped around and pinched and.

[Pat]

Of course. No pinch is funny.

[Gene]

Yeah, by me. By me. Like, when I was with him for them four or five years, like, I was being such a nice girl because I thought women that get wifed up is nice girls. So I wasn't being a freak. I was being very nice. So coming into this now, I'm like, oh, I'm gonna get my revenge. I'm gonna torture him. So I would, you know, have sex with somebody else and have Rub it all over him. Like. Yeah, put your fingers in there. Yeah. Wait, or like, wait, how was.

[Mike]

Was it like. Were these like threesomes with other people? Yeah.

[Gene]

No, no, it would be just me and him.

[Mike]

So.

[Pat]

Okay, let's get this right. You're going. You're going. So after. This is revenge, though. You're doing this as revenge?

[Gene]

Yeah, but it feels good. So it's like, I do this often now. Like, I'd be like, yeah, yeah, yeah, go ahead, go in there. Or like, I'd be like, no, open your mouth. So say if I know that a guy just spit in my mouth, I would spit in his mouth when he come over after that. Like, I would purposely do certain things because I know when I was with him, I mean, who knows what he was doing with the other girl.

[Pat]

I get it. He was basically. He was basically doing the same thing to you, right?

[Mike]

They were all in the same room. This was all happening.

[Pat]

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

[Gene]

This is like, I'll invite him over right after I done did something.

[Pat]

Got it. Yeah.

[Mike]

So he doesn't know this?

[Pat]

No, no, no, no. He definitely don't know this. Even till this day, you're still breathing.

[Gene]

No, definitely till this day, I'm definitely still breathing. I go to the doctor, I'm clean, I haven't caught a thing. Thank you, Jesus. But like. Yeah.

[Mike]

Oh, you're not with him anymore?

[Gene]

No, we. We never got back. I just been. I. I know that he likes to play around with women, like. Got it, guys. So I became that. I became that extra sexy. Like, what about, like.

[Pat]

What about. What about, like, furthering your life, you know? Like, what about, like, you know, progressing where you are right now?

[Gene]

Oh, hell yeah. I got a great job. Like, it's a lot of things that I did after I left 10, you know?

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

But really, is it really revenge if the person that you're getting revenge doesn't know that that happened.

[Gene]

Well, I mean, does the evil guy really want the other person to know? No, not really.

[Pat]

That's true.

[Gene]

You know, I'm. I'm. I'm boohoo on the side.

[Pat]

That's crazy. But I'm just saying, like, why do you have to use your body to do it? I get that. You know what I mean? Just like, why do you have to involve yourself? Like, what happened to, like, slashes some.

[Gene]

Tires, but, like, nah, he ain't got no car.

[Pat]

Okay, I know, but listen, but listen, listen. I want you. I just want you to like, let's step outside of the box. I'm getting nutted on to get revenge.

[Gene]

Like, he's tonguing me down, and I just finished giving somebody the got gock 3000.

[Pat]

But I get that. I get that. But that's like. But you're turning yourself almost into a prostitute.

[Gene]

I mean, if you want to say it like that.

[Pat]

I mean, that's what I'm saying.

[Mike]

No, it's not. That's not. There's no money.

[Gene]

See, the thing is, there's no money, all right?

[Mike]

So.

[Gene]

No, there's tons of money. See, there's money with the other person. The person that I'm doing this with. I do get money from them. It's the same person. It's not multiple.

[Pat]

I know. You getting paid through all that.

[Gene]

That's one thing I do know, baby.

[Pat]

Yes, I already knew that or you wouldn't be doing it.

[Gene]

Yes, I live in. I live in New York. These buildings.

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah, but. Yeah, yeah, but I just think, like, getting came on is not like, it's not a good revenge tactic. Like, what about, like, I'm telling you, getting him to send you money, I get you say, what, he broke or something.

[Gene]

Oh, yeah, of course I've done that. Like taking a cab to the guy house that I got to go do stuff to. Like, you know, he's eating food that the guy made, or like, you know, he came in the rice, and I'm supposed to just eat it off and give it to him, and he eats it and I'm just there just looking at him. Like, it tastes really good, right? I know.

[Pat]

I just feel like.

[Mike]

Came in the rice.

[Pat]

Yeah, I just feel like. I just feel like nobody should be coming on you if you're trying to get revenge. Just like, I'm stuck there. I'm so sorry. I just feel like.

[Gene]

I know, but for me, for me, it fit. Like, at first I was. I don't know, it turned into, like, revenge, and revenge turned into something that I started to, like, got it. And then it's like I started to enjoy it to the point like, you.

[Pat]

Should have been there with that. As long as you enjoying it. I thought you was, like, torturing yourself. I'm enjoying to torture somebody else. Yeah.

[Gene]

I don't want to torture myself no more.

[Pat]

Okay.

[Gene]

No, I enjoy it because the money's sweet. And then I got to turn around and see him eating stuff that, you know.

[Mike]

Are you, like, seeking relationships then now?

[Gene]

Honestly, no. I don't even trust a man on this earth. I'm not even lying to you.

[Mike]

Yes.

[Gene]

You good?

[Pat]

Yes. They can't trust you either.

[Gene]

I know, I know. Don't trust me. For real, for real. Because I don't know when am I gonna get to a healthy point in my life. Like, I'm gonna stop one day.

[Pat]

I believe it, though. I believe it, though.

[Gene]

Thank you. I really appreciate that.

[Pat]

No, I believe it. You're gonna be a great woman someday, but for now, you're a come dumb stage.

[Gene]

I am just loving it.

[Pat]

Yes.

[Mike]

Oh, God.

[Pat]

Just. Just live. Just live.

[Mike]

All right. You have a good one.

[Gene]

No, I am living. I felt like I wasn't living for a long time in my life. Like, I was just really a husband. Get a husband, because everyone around me was doing that.

[Pat]

So I was like, oh, oh, quick advice. Please, please, God, never tell your husband this. I'm telling you.

[Gene]

No, I won't.

[Pat]

Okay, good.

[Gene]

I would hope that my. My. My husband was a slut once upon. Once upon a time as well. So we both could be like, we're good people today.

[Pat]

I guarantee you to just leave this story out of it, though. I wouldn't call this being a slut.

[Mike]

You know what I mean?

[Pat]

There's a couple other words.

[Gene]

He would literally be like, is this. Is this food? Did you make it? Like, let me put you.

[Pat]

Oh, yeah, I forgot. Yeah, yeah. Can't trust you. Can't eat. Can't eat nothing around you.

[Gene]

I know.

[Mike]

All right, you have a good night.

[Gene]

Thanks. You too. Guys.

[Pat]

My first time saying this on the show. Be careful, fellas.

[Mike]

I was so confused. Yo, yo, you hear me? Yeah, yeah, we can hear you. I got a question for you. I was kind of skipping the formalities. What's something you want to see? Less of.

[Pat]

Unnecessary. Unnecessary weed packaging. Okay, so y' all know how. I don't know. I feel like this happens ever since, like, the pandemic niggas have been put in, like, weed and, like, the Like, I seen a PlayStation box last Station 5. I seen a fake pizza box, seen a fake AirPods case.

[Gene]

The boo boo pack, like, they just doing too much.

[Mike]

What really kind of like, put it over the edge for me is I.

[Pat]

Was with my man, and we was.

[Mike]

Talking about this shit, and he pulled.

[Pat]

Out a honey pack out of his pocket, and there was weed in it. That's actually dope. That is not dope, bro. That is not.

[Mike]

Because why are you asking me to.

[Pat]

Hit a honey pack? Because exactly the exact reason for this story. You remember the honey pack weed. Now you gonna go back if it was fire. You know what I'm saying?

[Mike]

Was it good?

[Gene]

I did not hit that.

[Pat]

That is super por. Yeah, okay. I mean, you made it that way. I was kind of weird by you. No, no, no. I didn't make it weird. He made it weird because.

[Mike]

Why are you pulling out a honey pack out your pocket, bro? Like, what's good? There was weed inside. Yeah. Y' all were probably there to smoke, right?

[Pat]

Where was y' all at? Why are you so uncomfortable? Oh, around your friend. I was at the skate Now. We was at the skate park, and we was just chilling. We were sitting down, and then we was. We was getting ready to smoke, and I had my own, and then we was trying to match, and he pulled out the honey pack, and I was like, you know what? I'm just gonna smoke my own. You could take care of yours and we'll be good. What was your weeding? I had pre rolls. I had pre Rollie. Like that.

[Gene]

That's crazy.

[Pat]

I had pre roll.

[Gene]

Hi.

[Mike]

Hi.

[Pat]

Hi.

[Mike]

Hi. Welcome to Crash Enemies podcast.

[Gene]

Oh, well, hi. Am I literally on the podcast right now?

[Pat]

I mean, it depends on how this call goes, if it makes it or not. What's up?

[Gene]

Well, hopefully not. Or you guys can, like, chomp and screw it, because I don't feel like I am ready. But I would like to vent about the cringy LinkedIn post.

[Mike]

What about him?

[Gene]

I mean, I'm just tired of LinkedIn becoming a medium for trauma dumping. Like, I understand that it is a social media platform, but it's supposed to be a place where people go to network for jobs. And I know that our economy is shit and a lot of people are losing their jobs, but I'm tired of, like, logging on LinkedIn and seeing that someone has just been diagnosed with stage four cancer, or their house and their mortgage is in the rears and they're about to be evicted, and then they try to sell you something, and it's.

[Mike]

What kind of algorithm that is LinkedIn.

[Pat]

Now, I don't.

[Mike]

Oh, LinkedIn is.

[Gene]

It's not an algorithm. Like, you guys are not on LinkedIn. But I'm telling you, I'm on LinkedIn.

[Mike]

It's.

[Gene]

Yeah, there's a. Congratulations.

[Mike]

There's a thing where people will, like, say like a sad story and then divert into a sales pitch.

[Pat]

Like, it's not a scam.

[Mike]

No, no, no. It's just the way. It's just like they're.

[Gene]

It's not a scam. It's just the way the world is working right now.

[Mike]

They're engagement farming.

[Pat]

Okay.

[Mike]

So they use that to get likes and activity on LinkedIn for job opportunities, right?

[Gene]

Yeah, it's not necessarily job opportunities. Sometimes they are literally trying to sell you software as. But people will get on there and say, like, the most depressing thing ever. And they're using Chat GPT, so it's like full of emojis. Like, it's. It's like, it's like clear and concise trauma. And then it's like, but I'm selling this or I'm doing that. Like, I could usually be a lot more funny, but you guys have called me when I'm.

[Mike]

I feel like this is relatable.

[Pat]

That's relatable, informational. Like, a lot of people. A lot of people. Don't fuck with this. Only thing I gotta say, if you use chat gbt, at least erase the long ass dashes, you ass niggas. I hate that, bro. Like, you think I'm this stupid, bro? Like, at least delete that, bro.

[Mike]

I had someone say, listen, as someone who.

[Gene]

Okay, go ahead, go ahead. No, I was gonna say it's like someone who is very good at writing. I don't even want to engage and write anything anymore because I think that people immediately default to, oh, this is well written in my GPT. So I'm like, I'm. I'm not even doing it because everyone's using it. LinkedIn is a mess. The world is a mess. And I don't know how relatable it is to the people who follow the podcast, but I am a LinkedIn.

[Mike]

No, that's crazy. Listen, no, we got. We got very. Our listeners very employed, especially the Patreon ones.

[Pat]

No, they gonna love this one.

[Mike]

They probably.

[Pat]

They probably gonna feel this one.

[Mike]

All right, you have a good one, boy.

[Pat]

Yo, welcome to Crash on these podcast. What's good, yo? Chilling, man. Dope, dope, dope. All right, I got a question for you. Yeah, yeah. What's up? What's something you want to see less of? Stop laughing while I'm talking, bro. All right, I got you, man.

[Gene]

Okay, I'm just.

[Pat]

I'm just getting off a 12 hour shift, so give me a sec.

[Mike]

Damn.

[Pat]

Where you work at? All right, I work in film, so.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

But okay, what I want to see less of, man.

[Gene]

Okay. You know. You know, have you ever seen those.

[Pat]

Videos of the guys? They'll be on Tick Tock or like.

[Gene]

Reels and be like, yo, if your.

[Pat]

Boyfriend don't do this, like he a sucker or like, I don't know. Yeah, bro, so my brain fries.

[Mike]

Dude.

[Pat]

You don't understand how tired I am, bro.

[Mike]

They know with it, bro. I. With it.

[Pat]

Yeah, no, I'm just like tired, bro. I just work seven days a week.

[Mike]

Yeah. What you shoot today?

[Pat]

There's this.

[Gene]

Okay.

[Pat]

I actually can't say what it is, but we're on season three of it, so. Oh, yeah. Is it known? Yeah, it's known.

[Gene]

It's on.

[Pat]

It's on Apple.

[Gene]

Apple tv.

[Pat]

So wait, wait, wait, so you'd be.

[Mike]

Knowing all the little, like the.

[Pat]

So wait, so people don't know that it's a season three? Is that why you can't tell us what show it is?

[Gene]

Yeah, yeah, I can't. I can't. Like, legally, I can't say anything.

[Pat]

Got it. Yeah. We don't want you to lose your.

[Mike]

Job, so I'll ask the difference.

[Pat]

I want to know.

[Mike]

Since you shoot a film, do you, like, know the ending of, like, some series, like, as people are watching it?

[Gene]

Sometimes, but, like, I'm not like an actor or anything, so I'm not like always on set.

[Pat]

But yeah, sometimes, like, I will know.

[Gene]

Have you guys seen that show Devil in Ohio?

[Mike]

No.

[Pat]

No, but go ahead. Some people have. Yeah. So I, like, knew, like all the.

[Gene]

Major scenes, so I'm pretty much a pa. So I'm like, you know, I do all the grimy work, but yeah, man.

[Mike]

So why do you hate the Tick Tock relationship gurus then?

[Gene]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, Back on that. Yeah, man, I don't know. Like, sometimes I'll be like, chilling and.

[Pat]

Then my girl get a Tick Tock.

[Gene]

And be like, yo, your boyfriend should get you flowers and steak, like every.

[Pat]

Every, like the first day of your period.

[Gene]

Every single time.

[Pat]

Now I'm like, looking at her like.

[Gene]

Nah, that ain't happening.

[Pat]

No, that's crazy. Flowers and steak, that's once a month. Like a snake. Like 14 in flowers. Like three. That's 17. No, I think I Get it, though.

[Gene]

No, it's not. It's not 14, man, that, like, 30 bucks.

[Pat]

Oh, it is. I mean, I get, like, rubbing her feet.

[Gene]

I get, like, revenue fee, you know, like, doing all those things that, like, make her comfortable, but, like.

[Pat]

Whoa, whoa.

[Mike]

Go ahead, go ahead.

[Pat]

Oh, no, no.

[Gene]

I mean, you know, like, getting her, like a. Like a heat pad or, like.

[Pat]

Yeah, you know, just like that stuff.

[Mike]

So does your girl expect the steak and the flowers, or are you just projecting?

[Gene]

Yeah, I wouldn't say she expects it, but she, like, gives me the side eye.

[Pat]

Be like, oh, you do that. I'm like, nah, it's not like I work seven days a week. I don't get. All right, what's the point of being in a relationship then if you can't get. Get your woman what she want?

[Gene]

I mean, I feel like for the most. Most of the time. Yeah, I'd say I'm terrible.

[Mike]

All right, bro, go get some sleep, man. All right.

[Pat]

Thanks, man.

[Gene]

Yeah, okay.

[Pat]

Have a good YouTube.

[Mike]

Yes.

[Pat]

Hello. Everybody say yes. Hello.

[Mike]

As yo. Welcome to Crash Dummies.

[Pat]

Such a crazy conversation. Never heard a say hello?

[Gene]

Hey. It's just.

[Pat]

It's being subtle, you know? No. All right. I got a question for you, bro. What's up? Pat, don't say that. What's your most painful realization about yourself? That I tend to over explain myself, and when I do, I throw myself into some really shitty situations I don't know how to get out of.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Pat]

Explain looking. Dumb toys. Well, it just. It's just. It just happens. It's just like those. Those in the moments, and I've had breezes, and I've had moments where I just. Like, my brain just kind of just wanders off and I start over explaining, and I've had my friends tell me like two to three times, like, hey, bro, you kind of over explain yourself, and you may let yourself read yourself. Lockdown. So, like, for example, at work, I'm a welder, so they kind of. Where I work at, they're kind of picking with the blueprints. And I've had, like, a couple of my friends that work with me. They're like, hey, man, you cannot over explain yourself. And you made yourself look dumb. And. And it took me a while to realize that because I'm really. How do you say? I hate being told. I hate being. I hate being corrected. I don't like to get wrong, but it gives me an ache. Yo, bro. Bro, what's up? You doing it again? You know? You see what I mean? Yeah, bro. Annoying. Bro, I see what they talking about.

[Mike]

You went for your friend. I kind of got a while. You went for your friend and then you told me you're a welder. We did ask you to explain your story, but yeah, I can see where they might be coming from for sure.

[Pat]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Gene]

I don't know.

[Pat]

I see, I see. I see a lot of people take it as the same place and I don't know. And like, I've been listening to you guys for a really long time, so, like, man, why not just share like a random story about what happens down there every day of my life? Yeah, man, we appreciate you, bro, for being vulnerable and letting the masses hear us. This is probably a horrible story. I kid you not.

[Gene]

I know this is a horrible story.

[Pat]

It's probably a shitty explanation. But man, I've.

[Mike]

I've seen a lot of your other.

[Pat]

Callers and some of them are.

[Gene]

Brain.

[Mike]

Had lost a couple brain cells in.

[Pat]

The process of life.

[Mike]

Yeah. What do you have to say to them, man? It's your platform, bro.

[Pat]

Man, as a fellow. As a fellow human that loses brain cells too. Y' all need to step your game up because, man, we make ourselves look bad.

[Mike]

What are you doing to step up?

[Pat]

I'm just trying to learn from, From. From other people and just. Just try not to make the same mistakes, you know, I gotta take accountability. And like I said, a lot of the listeners don't seem to have that. What are you taking accountability for, bro? You name something, you took accountability for.

[Mike]

Us.

[Pat]

Oh, man, see what I mean? I got myself into a mess. I can't sit down.

[Mike]

They just be talking.

[Pat]

They gotta hold themselves accountable and don't even know if he's been held held accountable for it. It's crazy. All right, bro, you have a good one, man. I apologize. I. I wish I would have given y' all more.

[Mike]

But that's good. That's good.

[Pat]

I'm a faithful listener, man.

[Gene]

I started off with.

[Pat]

I started. I'll tell you this. I'm like, I'm like, from like. I saw like episode 60 ish from. From the girl overdosing in fat. Oh, damn. Take. Take you a while to start them sentences, huh? Y. My brain takes a minute to.

[Mike]

To, bro.

[Pat]

But hey, man, I appreciate it. Like I said, big fan.

[Mike]

I'll be studying too.

[Pat]

In the podcast, man.

[Gene]

That's.

[Pat]

That's another issue, man. Hey, self diagnosed ADHD is what I say over explaining. All right? Joe Biden.

[Mike]

Girls would talk about another girl. And then the moment you reply, well, maybe that's when they turn on you. Cause, you know, like, as guys, I feel like we always want to give people an out sometimes, especially when it's a girl. It's just like, you never want to be a me. Like, for me, I can't speak for every guy. Some guys might want to be like, yeah, fuck that bitch type of shit. But for me, sometimes, I always try to see the other side sometimes.

[Pat]

Yeah, that's how you get the instant side. Eye of judgment.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Trying to figure out whose side you're on. But I think it's because, like, the guys I know, like, y'.

[Mike]

All.

[Pat]

If. If y' all said something to me that I really didn't believe, and I know I had the information to change your mind, I would say that to you right then and there, and you might actually receive it. I know there's a chance you receive it. Well.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Like, if Gene like, nah, that dude was mean mugging. He a bitch. Like, nah, bro, buddy, blind. I think Gene be like, oh, shit. Oh, that's fucked up. But, like, wouldn't be like, no, I know blind people. No, I. I've been around blind people before.

[Mike]

They never stare. Like, I think some guys, especially the guys in relationship, the mistake they might make, though, is divulging too defensive, a too much defense. Like. Like, you know this person. Like, you know this person that they might not know, you know? Yeah, you might still. He's like, oh, this person, she's a bitch. Or something like that. Yeah. Like, nah, she, you know, she comes from a really good family or some shit like that. And it's like, what?

[Pat]

Yeah, I feel like. I feel like as dudes, we can not, like, somebody. And something can change that. Like, oh, I thought dude was this certain way, but he's not. Women are. I feel like obviously it's their intuition that they have. So, like, when you got two people that both have intuition and both of their intuition say they don't like each other, they probably right.

[Mike]

Like, the thing about women intuition be right. It's just sometimes I hate the way they get to the right.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

It's like, this is not the way this happened. But you. You reached the right end point. Yeah. Everything in the middle, they'd be right.

[Pat]

Like, yes, I did something wrong. They'd be coming to you. Be like, you another woman. It's like, like, I forgot to take out the trash. But you knew I did something wrong. Like, so you was right about me doing something wrong. I ain't gonna take out the trash. You gotta chill on the Other woman, though. I can't do this for the rest of my life.

[Mike]

I saw a meme that guys would point out the smallest point in a.

[Pat]

In a.

[Mike]

When a girl's accusing them or something. Oh, yeah, bro. You'd be like, you that girl on Tuesday. And then guy would be like, it wasn't even Tuesday, it was Monday.

[Pat]

No, they won't say it like that. There'd be something slick like, I was with you Tuesday. You still her. You that girl on Tuesday in my house. Yeah, like, how I.

[Mike]

A girl on Tuesday when I was with you, though, all day.

[Pat]

You fucked a girl on Monday. Okay, okay. You say that, but you was wrong before, so you could be wrong again. It could be gas. It'd be up when they. Women be falling for that. You ever see your boy do some. I had one of my friends do something so bad, and his. His wife caught him, and the next day everything was good. What did this say.

[Mike]

Bro? Dudes would tell me, like, the stories dudes are telling me, I'll be ready to hate. Like, I'll be hating.

[Pat]

And you believe that you caught him in bed?

[Mike]

Yeah, dudes.

[Pat]

You believe the taekwondo shit for real?

[Mike]

She really, like, I've heard dudes tell me, like, no, she. I told her that was my massage therapist.

[Pat]

I was like, what? Believe that? No, that shit is crazy, though. Like, dude, I hate when people do that, though. I know. If I'm arguing with you. I think I talked about it last week. If I'm arguing with you about something that's, like, hurting my feelings or is getting under my skin, and you use anything with any technicalities, I'm not fucking with the conversation.

[Mike]

With what?

[Pat]

Like, with what? Okay, if I tell you, like, last. Last Tuesday, when we was at dinner, before the waitress brought us our food, you said something rude, and you knew. You said something rude and you know that's what I'm talking about. I'm talking about you doing something rude. Right? And the person goes, no, that was. We didn't even talk before the waitress was there. And then the time changes of like, oh, we did that. It was after dinner, but you knew what I was talking about.

[Mike]

Still did the thing.

[Pat]

But you arguing about a technicality, like, something that I messed up in the story and you made me take longer to get to my point. And now I, like, don't have the energy or the mind space. You make me forget what I was going to say.

[Mike]

That's the part that. Hey, is one thing. Yeah. When you get technical, you forget where you were going. Yeah.

[Pat]

That's because, like, people try to, like, add those details to, like, make it more, like, emotional. Yeah. I really take you into that setup. And the candle was lit. Like, actually, the candle was off until you forget what I was arguing about. You know, I got adhd. I'll be back, though. I'm mad as hell. I'm about to go figure out why.

[Mike]

That'S why I would never want to be, like, high and argue. Because sometimes you get to a point where you start arguing and you forgot where you started. So. So you just got to keep talking, talking until you remember where you. Now you start saying some.

[Pat]

Yeah, I don't. I like. That's why I don't do weed in bad situations and do weed. Yeah. At least I didn't say drugs. Come on now. Do weed.

[Mike]

Drugs. But drugs.

[Pat]

Drugs is multiple, though.

[Mike]

Do you do.

[Pat]

It just sound cooler, though? I. A lot.

[Mike]

Yeah, drugs. Hey, it perk. Perk me up.

[Pat]

Say the other one.

[Mike]

Ecstasy.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

That'S crazy.

[Pat]

I don't got that one. I don't do weed. I don't do the Mary Jane. But I don't do that. Like, when I'm know I want to be in an argument or something like that because I. If I'm high, I don't give a. Yeah, I'll pack my bags right now and move a thousand miles away from here and then sober up and my ego be so big, like, yeah, I can't go back. It is what it is. High Pat said what High Pat had to say, man.

[Mike]

Yeah, in my past relationships, when there was arguments and there was any. I don't really drink to. I don't get, like, drunk drunk. Like, I don't, like, drink that much. I might have one drink.

[Pat]

Haram.

[Mike]

I might have one drink. But, like, if you're in, like, past relationships and stuff like that and alcohol is involved, I leave the argument there. Like, I just say, no, you right this and that. Because I know the next day I'm already saving everything. I'm like, yeah, this is where, you know, all the apologies happen the next day and shit like that.

[Pat]

You got that? Drinking stuff. Like, when someone's high, you can kind of still talk to them. It's somewhere in there. But, like, when people drinking, man, I didn't see some people do some nasty things. Like, crazy, like, bro, no way. And some people, like, they do such, like, crazy that you would never look at them the same, no matter if they was drunk or not. Like, you ever heard somebody say some wild. When they was drunk or do some Wild. And no matter how good of a person they were since that moment, that's the only moment you could think of like you like man. Nah bro. You kiss that in the back of his head. Okay, there's a clip.

[Mike]

There'S a clip from the Shannon Sharpe podcast with Pierce and it's about dating a five versus a pretty ten woman. Oh man, you told us that look a hard working man.

[Pat]

And this is uncomfortable by the way.

[Mike]

This is very uncomfortable.

[Pat]

Pretty girls alone get you a five.

[Mike]

Get you a solid six.

[Pat]

Keep it real.

[Mike]

Get you a five solid six.

[Pat]

Get some somebody that's humble. Yeah.

[Mike]

That don't require all this because 9, 10, that's a lot of maintenance. That's a lot of lucky.

[Pat]

And see and I, and I, and.

[Mike]

I always have to go back.

[Pat]

I'm not gonna tell her she a five or six.

[Mike]

Right. Like we all know I'm gonna let.

[Gene]

Her give her a nine.

[Mike]

It's a very uncommon in a sense. But there was another one with another clip too. He was talking about like marriage is for broke or old people in a sense too. Even those type of conversations. Like I get what he's trying to say. He's trying to say like don't go after those girls. That might seem more materialistic but he's.

[Pat]

Also saying that marriage is a business also.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Like usually in America with your salaries that you have, it's better to be with someone. So. So if you know the cap on your life that you're ever going to make is 90k a year, it's best you find somebody else that's making 90k a year so you can achieve some things that you want to achieve. And you basically saying if you rich, you don't need that. Which is dumb because who the fuck listening to you right now is people that make 90k.

[Mike]

The whole like rating system too to me is a little, I don't know, it can be a little cringe in a sense.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Because they talk from a perspective of famous athlete. So like they're saying stay away from the tens, the girls that deem tens and stuff like that.

[Pat]

Right.

[Mike]

And it's still very your perspective of what is a 10 to you. And like there's other things that make people. I don't even like rating people because that's just weird. It doesn't make any sense. But there's certain. Obviously there's more to a girl's look that makes them their quote unquote rating go up in a sense.

[Pat]

Yeah. The rating only matters to people that you can Obtain. Yeah, so it's dumb. It's a made up thing.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Because if you sit here and be like, yeah, yeah, Pat, look at this girl, she like an eight and a half. But if that same dude took that girl out and they started dating, what is she now? I bet you she a ten, right? So she was never eight and a half to you. She was only eight and a half. Because you were trying to compare on this scale to all the girls in the world. But what about the girls that you can get, my nigga. So I think that's a 10 if you calling her. You know what I mean? It's like, nigga, know you.

[Mike]

You know what I'm saying?

[Pat]

Because what are you on the scale.

[Mike]

Then it's it man.

[Pat]

But you gotta ask yourself, because it's a lot of racist women out here that would say us three is the zeros. You know what I mean? Like, so is that our scale? It's about the person that's in front of you. So then technically there's no scale because it's like, what's the difference between an eight and a half and a 10? And somebody, somebody be like, yeah, I don't date eight and a half.

[Mike]

Yeah, somebody gonna say, but from my perspective too, it's like, don't, don't date a girl based on just looks. Because to me, when it's a pretty girl and the pretty girl is just like, they all look are pretty. Right? You know, there's not like this one looks better than the other one. The only thing that makes anything better. Why are you laughing?

[Pat]

Don't leave me alone.

[Mike]

The only thing that can make things better is the way they act. Cause I've seen girls that like beautiful as hell, right? And then they'll say something and it's like, eh, that kind of brought the quote unquote rating down. You know what I mean? They don't look. No, it's just a different perspective.

[Pat]

But you backed, right and. No, I get what you said.

[Mike]

I'm only using rating for this, this conversation.

[Pat]

Yes, right.

[Mike]

Because it's like in my head, I'm not thinking, oh, she's a 10, she just went down to eight.

[Pat]

Yeah, but that's what I'm saying.

[Mike]

She went down a level in my head.

[Pat]

We're both saying the same thing. If the scale can move, then it doesn't really exist because it's like, okay, if your girlfriend's eight and a half or I mean she attend now and then the same thing you just said. Yeah, if it moves like oh, if you find out, out she was a 10 before and then you find out she make super dark humor jokes. Okay. Like, what is she now? You know what I'm saying? Are you gonna take those jokes home? You know, is she still a 10?

[Mike]

That fake, bro, do you think you're gonna lose interest? Somebody can. Look, I was saying you're in a relationship and you know how some people lose the love in a relationship? Do you think that love is ever just. Just physical attractiveness to somebody? Like, somebody can lose that? I don't think you're as beautiful as when we started dating.

[Pat]

I don't think it's just. I don't think it would be just that.

[Mike]

You think, Okay. I just. I always wonder.

[Pat]

I feel like, I feel like that's not that complicated. I feel like love. I feel like you never know until the person finds out.

[Mike]

Right.

[Pat]

Everybody thinks that's why the divorce rate is so high. Because some people have, have like perfect timing. They meet their wife or husband at a perfect time. They both get their first jobs at the same time. They both want to have a kid at the same time. But what happened when somebody go through a little bit adversity would, you know, you're going to run into, like, people, older people gonna die in your family. You're gonna gain a little weight, have to lose it back and stuff like that.

[Mike]

Physically look older.

[Pat]

Yeah. So it's like, what are you gonna do with adversity? And like, I feel like some people's love depends on how they deal with adversity. Because it's like, okay, your wife had a kid and she's recovering and it took her a year and a half, two years to get off the weight. But you start cheating a year in because you couldn't hold it no more. You're like, oh, you don't look the same. I'm about to go do with some other girls. That means like, you ain't really love her that hard, bro. So I don't know, like, what is real love, bro? Come on, bro.

[Mike]

Do you say that people, the people that like, survive. Are there people out there that post.

[Pat]

On Tick Tock real quick, Are there.

[Mike]

Some people that don't have, like, the adversity in their life and it's like they only love this person because they haven't experienced that adversity?

[Pat]

Yes.

[Mike]

So do you think just people just get lucky in life? I don't have that adversity. I've never been put in a. In a situation that made me pick between cheating on my Wife and stuff.

[Pat]

Like that or the thing that. Or the thing that would make them fall out of love just never happens.

[Mike]

Yeah. Right.

[Pat]

So it's a lot of people that love. They think they love unconditionally, but the thing that they would stop loving for is just unlikely to happen. Right. This. This wife loves her husband through everything. Through his weight journey, he gained some weight. He got gray hair. He stopped working out as much. He let him do everything, but he get both legs amputated and she like, I really like calf muscles. I really love. I love Joe Calf. That ain't that not there no more. You know, your quads is like Vienna sausages. I just can't.

[Mike]

If you see one of your best friend's girl cheating in public and you happen to bump into them, what is your first thing that you're doing?

[Pat]

I think I'm gonna get a little video evidence. Oh, I bumped into them.

[Mike]

Yeah, you bumped into them.

[Pat]

I'm getting video evidence. I'm pulling out my phone, like, hey, nice to see y' all here at Cafe Hollander. Sitting here having some soup.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And hibiscus.

[Mike]

So do you. Because I always hear this conversation is like, you better tell him before I tell him, or I'll give you. I'm gonna give you the opportunity to tell him before I do.

[Pat]

Nah, that crazy. I'm not saying nothing. There's no words that needs to be had. Matter of fact, buy me a drink.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

My blackmail a little bit. Yeah. I need 10,000.

[Mike]

I think it's always a. It's an awkward thing because I. For me, I think I would just not say anything. I just keep walking. Yeah. And then eventually tell or tell my friend, like, hey, I just saw your girl. Blank, blank, blank.

[Pat]

Think it depends. And it also depends on, like, I don't want to be wrong, but I'm definitely going to give them hints. Be like, bro, tell me this. I'm just being real. If my girl was with another dude at a restaurant, I couldn't with that. Would you. With that?

[Mike]

Because I guess it is. It makes a difference of how you catch them. So if you see your. Your friend's girl with any dude in public.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Are you telling your friends, hey, I saw your girl with some. A random dude that you probably don't know.

[Pat]

Yes. And I'm telling him immediately because he needs to go through his own process. And I hope his process is something similar to what I would do. Okay. Is once you get the information, now you get to read the person's every single move before they Tell you. So if I happen to saw the hypothetical girl, you know, this situation, and I saw your girl out and with another guy, I would give you that information right away. Like, yo, I just saw your girl with another guy, hoping you just, you know, be calm and not just call your girl and be like, where you at right now?

[Mike]

Think about people. There's some people you give, like, like, dramatic news to and say, hey, you need to slow play this. This news, right? Don't. Don't act on it yet. But I'm gonna tell you this so you can now play it smart.

[Pat]

One time, I literally told a dude some information about a girl trying to put him on, like, yo, be careful, blah, blah. And within 24 hours, that girl confronted me about it. I was like, what the. What the. How does that happen, bro? Then I just tell you, don't. Like, you post a BP with the information, like, kind of like playing in a way that not to get back. I get what people want to, like, confront, but there's a different way to bring it up. You can almost make it seem like you found it out naturally.

[Mike]

Yeah, that's.

[Pat]

But that's what I would hope you would do. You would, you know, ask your girl, like, hey, what you doing right now? First thing you should do is call a person. Call your girl. Like, right? So I know my girl's phone is available. She's just out at dinner with some dude, right? She should be able to see my call and pick up the phone.

[Mike]

Yeah, right?

[Pat]

So you should call Bam. Okay. I ain't getting no answer back, so she must be too busy to even call me, right? And then I'm gonna call her on the way home. While she's on the way home, she's probably gonna call me back. Oh, what were you up to now? I gotta see if you lied about your whereabouts.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah.

[Pat]

You know, and let's say I went to a restaurant with a friend. Now I gotta dive into who the friend is. You know, it at some point. Basically, you just keep questioning a partner until you run into a lie that you know is definitely a lie.

[Mike]

Right.

[Pat]

You're not telling the truth because once.

[Mike]

You crash out, you kind of give them leeway to say some random things because you got to make them say all facts, like, without feeling that pressure, because you got to say the person they're with, a friend, this and that. Because you say, who the fuck was that dude? You were there. And be like, oh, that was my cousin or something. You know, something random that they can lie about, bro.

[Pat]

People Are so stupid. With interrogate, you're literally to. Some people tell the other person what they know already. And that's the biggest mistake you made. I always got this scenario, right. There's two different type of people in life, right? When it comes to their significant other stepping out on them, cheating on them or whatever, Some people want the full experience so they can be done.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Some people don't even want it to happen, or they would stop it happen. So this is a scenario, right? You're walking in a hotel, and down this long hallway, you see your significant other walking with somebody else.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

They are about to walk into a hotel room together. They're not holding hands. They're not staring at each other. They're just about to walk into a hotel room together. There's two different type of people.

[Mike]

Yeah, right.

[Pat]

There's those type of people that just go, hey, hey. Where the. What the are you doing? Now those two people can turn around. You'll never know the truth and just be like, I was showing her how my door works, bro. Chill. Yeah, because she's locked out of y' all room now. You'll never know like, that. I never know. Like, damn. But there's other people who wait until they walk into the room and go put their ear on the door, listen. Wait until they hear something and break it down and kill them both.

[Mike]

So it's like, you know, it's two different types of people. Oh, my God. I would have so many questions. Hey, bro, I saw your girl at a hotel, and she was fucking the dude. I'm like, oh, you saw that? He said, nah, I just heard it. Yeah, How'd you hear them?

[Pat]

Actually, bro, I didn't even have to put my ear on the door. Like, I was actually on my way to call you, and I still heard it from the elevator. I'm pretty sure they still doing it, bro. Like an hour ago.

[Mike]

Yeah, it's like, no, she definitely helped.

[Pat]

Him put it back in, bro. Man, it's crazy.

[Mike]

I feel like it's like those scary movies sometimes, too, when people hear, like, the loud. Are you like the. You hear the loud noise and then you. You go downstairs and check on it? Or like. Like in the scary movie, I guess, for more of a sense of, like, they see they're in the woods, you hear screaming. They then go into the forest to see, hey, who's getting stabbed and screaming.

[Pat]

Yeah, I think them two different situations.

[Mike]

Yeah. Your house is like, yeah, if I'm.

[Pat]

Already walking along the path, and to my left or right is Some distant noise and then I'm going to keep along my path. Yeah, I really don't give a fuck what's going on.

[Mike]

I could call and be like, hey, call the cops. Or some say call this.

[Pat]

They might intercept the call like getting you next.

[Mike]

So now get home first. Yeah, okay, I'll call, I'll call. I'll call the cops and say, hey, I heard some screaming in such and force. But I'm not going.

[Pat]

If it's like. If it's like a woman screaming. Yeah, it's different. If it's a dude screaming, ain't nothing I can do.

[Mike]

But no, I wouldn't know though. After two, I would call the cops right away. But I don't think I'm going to go play Superman inside the forest. But.

[Pat]

But the house thing though.

[Mike]

Yeah, the house is. Yeah. Different. That was a bad example.

[Pat]

Yeah, the house thing. I gotta go check it right away. I just recently had somebody walk into my apartment while I was sleep. They. I signed my lease late for my apartment. I renewed my lease late because I thought I was going to move somewhere else. And I guess they never notify the cleaning carpet people. And they walked into my place like full, like in my place. And I popped up.

[Mike]

Think it's about to be Swiss cheese, man.

[Pat]

They saw. They saw that morning wood and they got up out of them. Oh my God.

[Mike]

I've walked into somebody's. I don't know if I told this story in the pod, but I walked into somebody's apartment twice. And the way it was because I was on my phone. This is why you should never just pay attention when you're walking. I'm on my phone. You know, you just kind of have muscle memory of where your apartment is down on the hallway. I might have misjudged. I have two elevators where I can go to and I think I forgot which car we parked or something like that. I was walking and I walk into the apartment. I look around, I said, holy shit, this is not my part. I closed the door and I run down the stairs super quick.

[Pat]

That's more innocent. I'd rather do that. My dumb ass did it in the same building I was in. I just must have hit level blah blah blah instead of blah blah blah before I say, but I must have hit that. And when I got to their door, I was already having kind of a bad day.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

So I was like, man, what the.

[Mike]

And I was, oh, you didn't go in though.

[Pat]

No, but it was just the fact that I was trying to break in so bad that I'm like, it gotta be my key. So I'm like trying to, like, so really so even. Like, yours is just like, oh, shit. Why are you in my house? Like, oh, my God. I swear to God, I thought, this is my apartment. I'm tripping. Mine is like, I'm over here. Like, but it is. And then if I go, oh, I thought this is my apartment. It's like, bro, then why you twisted.

[Mike]

The key like that? And then the second time at that.

[Pat]

Point, you got to go through it. Yeah, I'm about to rob your ass.

[Mike]

And then I walked into the guy's apartment again and I heard his dog barking.

[Pat]

I was a dude.

[Mike]

Yeah. And he was like. All I heard was like, who's that? And I closed the door.

[Pat]

That rap again. I ran so fast, bro.

[Mike]

I have. That has to like, fuck with you, though.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Okay. This is the first one. His door was unlocked for no reason. That's why. That's what made it worse.

[Pat]

No, you can't say that.

[Mike]

Yeah, it was unlocked, locked.

[Pat]

I know, but like, he can't have his door unlocked.

[Mike]

No.

[Pat]

In the apartment without some big ass black dude barging through. Like, God forbid. Have faith in humanity. Tweet of the week. T Pain said 200 women in the spot. Ain't none of them hot. I'm crying. Where the he was at?

[Mike]

200 unattractive woman.

[Pat]

That's kind of crazy, bro. You're a little picky, bro.

[Mike]

Yeah, that's it.

[Pat]

That's a little worse.

[Mike]

Like, I don't think you can be in a room.

[Pat]

Hey, listen, if my friend came back and told me it was 200 women there and what, none of them attractive, I'm gonna start looking at them like.

[Mike]

Sure.

[Pat]

You sure you would even pick one if it was 500?

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Oh, man.

[Mike]

That's how some people feel about their colleges, though. I've heard people say, like, oh, there's. There's not that many. There's no good looking girls on our. On our college campus.

[Pat]

But they're lying. That means, like, I mean, we. I'm not gonna say we could say that. But like, if you go to a smaller college, usually the best looking women are gonna have boyfriends. They're gonna be in relationship. So you're probably looking at, you know, what's left. And if you left, then guess what?

[Mike]

That's what I think people don't realize.

[Pat]

Yeah. Look at you, single too. All right, all right. Black aunties, get on Facebook and say anything. This is in quotes. Love that. Picture stomach getting big. Uncle Rob died in his sleep. Call me. No, for real.

[Mike]

They be trying to have full conversations in the comments.

[Pat]

Yes.

[Mike]

I hate when people do that. It's just like, oh, how you been? And they're good. I haven't seen you since this and that. Like. Like, at some point, like, this has to go to the DMs.

[Pat]

That's how it used to be, though. I think that's how my space used to be.

[Mike]

I think, especially back then, like, dms weren't really, like, people did kind of communicate through comments. Damn.

[Pat]

There.

[Mike]

There was no really direct message.

[Pat]

It was all out and over. Yeah, it was. It was like, you. You. You always test two people flirting and, like, d. Oh, okay. Let's have sex then. Like, hey, hey. You know, we can see y'. All. Okay. The tweet says acknowledging someone. Acknowledging someone as handsome slash beautiful doesn't mean you're interested in them. And somebody quoted the tweet and said, if you're not interested in me, I don't care that you find me handsome. Keep it to yourself. Like, real, real shit for me. But that's not everybody. I've seen what I love. I love when women do this, right? A woman to see another woman on a date and go up to that woman in front of everybody and say, you look so good today. Like, it's just like that woman empowerment. Dudes do it too. Like, we act like we know each other and shit. Like, yo, yo, yo, what up? But, like, as far as if it's not something like, in that nature from, like, a auntie or your mom or something like that. Like, I don't want no random person just saying, I'm so handsome. And like. Like the I'm supposed to do if it's random.

[Mike]

I feel like if it's a friend and stuff like that handsome. But like, if the. Their friend says, oh, you look good in that. That outfit that you got on.

[Pat]

Yeah, I don't need no. I don't need a compliment from a stranger.

[Mike]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Pat]

That's just me, though. But that's not everybody. Some people that makes their day that still make me walk different. I ain't going to lie. Oh, it's a badass doc. I was walking. I was wearing my. My cowboy boots, I think, for the first time. And I was walking, like, down the street to get some coffee or something, wearing, like, some vintage tea, you know. It was a good fit. Yeah.

[Mike]

I think I appreciate people complimenting fits.

[Pat]

In passing is fine. I'm saying, like, my idea Was through dms. Yeah. Don't DM me. Like, with the hard eyes and. And I click on your page and it's your husband and kids like, yo, what the going on? My husband said you look good, too. I'm good over that. You guys are cucks. Oh, no, I gotta go to this. A D Hutch special right here.

[Mike]

That'd be crazy. We found out that Pat used to be someone's. Is it. If you're the one. Somebody's wife, does that make you. What are. What's the title for the person? Because the couple are cucks. Right.

[Pat]

And it's cuck hole. Right. Is that the.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah.

[Pat]

I don't know.

[Mike]

Is that person a cuck too, though?

[Pat]

This crazy question. Khaki.

[Mike]

I'm just saying, though, why does cuck does sound like a curse word.

[Pat]

It is.

[Mike]

It's kind of like a strong. It's a strong word that I'm like, if it just feels like you shouldn't be saying it. He got serious.

[Pat]

I don't think it's so serious.

[Mike]

It just feels like should be saying it. I'm just. I'm actually just trying to feel white noise so you can get to the front.

[Pat]

Oh, okay. That was racist.

[Mike]

What? White noise?

[Pat]

Yeah. That's random.

[Mike]

Racist. Is that racist?

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Yeah, so be it.

[Pat]

I wonder how I got called white noise. I know. Oppression was silent. No, I'm kidding. You ever lay your head on your girl's stomach and heard the dookuy said dookie. You ever lay your head on your girl's stomach and heard the dookie boil in it?

[Mike]

I saw a meme like that. Like, why anytime you put your head on your girl stomach, it starts rumbling.

[Pat]

She be hungry as hell. Because that's the only time you put your head on a girl's stomach. When you broke. Ah, babe, baby, babe. You cook ramen again?

[Gene]

He's tired of it.

[Mike]

I haven't ate ramen in a minute.

[Pat]

All right. I'm good, bro.

[Mike]

That was it. Yeah.

[Pat]

All right.

[Mike]

Anyway, that has been Crash Dummies. We're going to be in LA by the time you guys are listening to this. Yeah, man. Yeah. It's been a crash dummies episode 229. Yeah, make sure you guys subscribe into the Patreon. Follow us on our personal pages as well. Live show, boxing match, Halloween party from Milwaukee.

[Pat]

Lincoln bio. My bio.

[Mike]

Yeah, Lincoln Jean's bio.

[Pat]

So, yeah, follow me on Twitch. Follow us on Twitch.

[Mike]

Everything is in the description somewhere.

[Pat]

Come on. Last thing. Listen here, busters. Some of y' all on our dick about the Hassan. I don't give a like, listen, bro.

[Mike]

Like all that the unsubscribe.

[Pat]

Yeah, all that threaten the unsubscribe ass. Do it like matter of fact, push your button right now. If I'm hurting your feelings, I really don't give a bro, like, to be honest. Like, that's like bro, y' all gotta be. That's how I know y' all don't stick up for y' all friends, bro. I know y' all ain't got no spies. Somebody will talk about your mama and if they right you let it ride. This is ass niggas man soft as.

[Mike]

Yeah, I'd rather go down being wrong.

[Pat]

Yeah if some if for some reason we we get duped and like that's what I might make a video with 10 dogs in the background. Men need a store that has the right thing for their thing. Like a Kenneth Cole suit made with show flex fabric to keep them cool at their cousin in law's third wedding in the middle of July. Whatever the thing, Men's Wearhouse has the clothes for it.

[Mike]

Love the way you look.

[Pat]

Men's Wearhouse this episode is brought to you by Lifelock.

[Gene]

Lifelock.

[Pat]

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[Gene]

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