Is It For Sale? - Episode 229

Summary

Crash Dummies Podcast – Episode 229: "Is It For Sale?"

Release Date: October 22, 2025
Hosts: Patrick Johnson (Pat), Michael Esiobu (Mike)
Episode Theme:
Pat and Mike riff on culture, language, dating games, and the ridiculousness of everyday scenarios, featuring multiple listener call-ins who spotlight their own gripes, confessions, and wild realizations.

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Main Themes & Segments

1. Language, Trends, and Generational Shifts

• The episode opens with a comical debate over the catchphrase "six seven," its origins in youth culture, and awkward generational adoption (00:00-01:50).
• The hosts joke about how trends like emotes and viral sayings move from young to old, and how social norms change with age—like having friends play matchmaker.

Quote:

"If a 14 year old come up to me like, hey, six seven. I’d be like, yeah, watch out, little dork." – Pat (00:50)

2. Weed, Habits, and Semi-Pro Sports

• Pat and Mike banter about athletes’ vices: the irony of the most naturally talented folks in semi-pro sports having the worst habits—mid-game cigarettes and weed (01:27-02:40).

Quote:

“The person that’s smoking weed in the parking lot is probably the best player. That’s the reason why he there. Ain’t got no discipline, man.” — Pat (01:27)

3. Dating Etiquette, Shooting Your Shot, and Rejection

• The hosts and guest Gene role-play modern dating dilemmas through a hilarious, relatable skit about DM culture and fear of rejection (04:08-05:29).
• Discussion expands to men vs. women initiating, how everyone wants to feel wanted, but few want to risk rejection.
• Pat shares a story about “shooting your shot,” plus the common cycle of games, daring, miscommunication, and ghosting (05:44-06:45).
• The age limits around having friends approach crushes for you—a practice that, after college, they agree is best left in the past (07:45-09:42).

Notable Quotes:

"We don’t, but the ratio of y’all shooting y’all shot as opposed to us, y’all more than likely to be successful at it." — Mike (04:34)
"If I get rejected, I might not talk to a woman for five years." — Pat (07:30)

4. Revenge, Petty Moves, and Advice on Life Changes

• Pat and Mike discuss how they help friends in conflict—Pat prefers extreme escalation, while Mike is a “slow-cooker” when it comes to revenge (11:13-12:00).
• Comedic musings follow about literal language, the evolution of phrases like “doing a 360,” and how people misuse or over-analyze them (12:32-14:28).

5. Safety, Accidents, and Trust in Society

• Pat finds humor in how people end up in accidents for mundane reasons (sneezing, wardrobe malfunctions) and the misplaced faith we have in each other on the road (15:41-16:34).
• Discussion of the trend of people posting crash pics on social media (16:24-16:44).

6. Call-in Confessions and Rants
The episode’s heart is its interactive Q&As, which bounce between hilarious, frank, and sometimes shocking territory.

a) Retail Flirting & The Price of Company (24:31-29:04)

• A retail worker laments married men hitting on her, then openly jokes about considering their advances if money was involved.

Quote:

“So it’s for sale.” — Pat
“No, it’s not for sale.” — Gene
“But you said if they give you money, they can get whatever they want. It’s for bribe.” — Pat (27:07)

b) Club Etiquette: Men Standing on Couches (29:58-33:12)

• Gene complains about men standing idle on club couches, contrasting with women dancing or having fun, and shares an anecdote about men snatching hookah from her friends.

Quote:

"Men standing on couches in their sections, it’s atrocious ..." — Gene (30:09)

c) Personal Realizations: Weight Loss & Accountability (33:34-40:58)

• A listener shares his struggle with self-acceptance, weight, and failed attempts to change. Pat and Mike encourage small, sustainable changes, offering merch and monetary incentives for weight loss (38:40-40:53).

Quote:

“If you drop down under four, you got free merch ... and we give you free Patreon for a month …” — Pat (38:55)

d) Painful Confessions: Revenge on an Ex (41:19-49:31)

• A woman candidly describes getting sexual revenge on her cheating ex through elaborate and explicit scenarios, blending humor and shock value.
• The hosts dig into her logic, the ethics, and whether seeking "revenge" this way is self-defeating (or, as she admits, enjoyable).

Memorable Exchange:

“...for now, you’re a cum dumpster.” — Pat (48:32)
“I am just loving it.” — Gene (48:37)

e) Weed Packaging Overkill (49:55-51:16)

• A caller rants on the absurdity and waste of elaborate, novelty weed packaging now commonplace post-pandemic.

f) LinkedIn Trauma-Dumping (52:04-54:56)

• Rant on social media etiquette: LinkedIn becoming a venue for oversharing personal trauma, often followed by a sales pitch.

Quote:

“I’m just tired of LinkedIn becoming a medium for trauma dumping ... and then they try to sell you something.” — Gene (52:20)

g) Relationship Gurus & TikTok Advice (55:14-58:57)

• The hosts poke fun at viral “relationship gurus” and how their advice sets unrealistic expectations, e.g., constant gifts or emotional labor.

Quote:

"Flowers and steak, that’s once a month. Like a steak, like $14, and flowers like $3. That’s $17." — Pat (57:54)

h) Over-Explaining as a Flaw (59:33-62:27)

• A listener reveals his habit of over-explaining, often causing self-sabotage at work and in relationships. Pat and Mike simultaneously tease and empathize, ending with encouragement.

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Culture, Humour, and Commentary

• The episode regularly circles back to how society, especially men and women, communicate on social media and in real life.
• Pat and Mike riff on viral podcast clips (Shannon Sharpe, The Rock’s movie contract) and relationship rating scales, calling out their limited perspectives and the stupidity of ranking people by looks (71:20-75:07).

Quote:

“The rating only matters to people that you can’t obtain.” — Pat (73:25)

• They muse on the endurance of love, divorce rates, and whether adversity makes or breaks real long-term partnerships.

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Notable Quotes & Funny Moments

• "You ever lay your head on your girl's stomach and heard the dookie boil in it?" — Pat (92:47)
• "Be careful, fellas." — Pat (49:35), after a shocking story about revenge sex.
• “Black aunties get on Facebook and say anything. ... Stomach getting big. Uncle Rob died in his sleep. Call me.” — Pat (88:45)

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Timestamps of Key Segments

• [00:00-01:50] Language and generational trends
• [04:08-05:29] Shooting your shot, DM culture roleplay
• [15:41-16:44] Trust, car accidents, and sharing on social media
• [24:31-29:04] Retail flirting, “is it for sale?” segment
• [29:58-33:12] Club etiquette and hookah snatchers
• [33:34-40:58] Weight loss, self-improvement motivation
• [41:19-49:31] Revenge on exes—explicit story and debate
• [52:04-54:56] Cringey LinkedIn posts and AI writing
• [55:14-58:57] TikTok relationship advice and critiques
• [59:33-62:27] Over-explaining yourself: vulnerability and humor

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Tone & Style

The episode is classic Crash Dummies:

• Fast-paced, punchline-driven, and often self-deprecating
• Conversational with a heavy dose of riffing and friendly insults
• Embracing listener stories, both for laughs and real talk

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Summary:
Episode 229 of Crash Dummies blends humor with cultural commentary, diving into how communication styles, dating rituals, and online habits shape our world—while never passing up a chance for a perfectly-timed joke, a wild call-in, or some over-the-top advice. Listener call-ins drive much of the episode’s best material, swinging from hilarious confessions to genuinely poignant moments about self-growth and the struggle to change.

If you missed this one, you missed a rapid-fire blend of the totally relatable and the totally absurd—pure Crash Dummies.

Transcript

[Pat]

Nah, be sounding like such unc saying that.

[Mike]

What's the age limit? Six, seven.

[Pat]

Oh, oh, it's. It's young too. It's like 20. I was gonna say the starting age. It's like 24, bro.

[Mike]

Just saying you record.

[Pat]

Wait, no. What, like you talking about the appropriate age. Yes, it's 20. It's 24. Like I'm hearing four year olds saying six seven. Yes, that's. That's what I'm saying. It's. It's down that young. It's almost like Fortnite. I feel it. You know what I mean?

[Mike]

If, if I'm. I might emote the 6, 7 thing for, for an edit. If in boxing.

[Pat]

Yes. It's a song still, at the end

[Mike]

of the day, I might emote it. No, I'm in my everyday conversation. If I Somebody like, if we're having a conversation and then just out of nowhere if I say something 6, 7, they do me like 6, 7. Like in a normal conversation, I would think it's weird.

[Pat]

That's the problem. It's okay. If a 14 year old come up to me like, hey, six seven. I'd be like, yeah, watch out, little dork. No, but it would be acceptable though, right? Like if someone did it in a basketball game or football game, that's acceptable.

[Mike]

What about in 43U?

[Pat]

In 43U not smoking cigarettes. Okay, that's 6725 niggas be smoking that. Halftime. I got 200 yards. I need a drag.

[Mike]

Three game, mid game, cigarette is crazy. I feel like mid game anything was kind of crazy.

[Pat]

The fucked up part about it is the best people in semi pro probably got the worst habits. Yeah, like you literally. The person that's smoking weed in the parking lot is probably the best player. That's the reason why he there. Ain't got no discipline, man.

[Mike]

Bro, the kids that smoked weed in high school and were really good at sports. And that's before like I've ever like done any drugs or anything like that.

[Pat]

I said drugs? How many drugs do you do actually

[Mike]

there this week

[Gene]

back.

[Pat]

I ain't gonna say what I was supposed to say, cuz it's gonna get bad. But y' all know what to spam in the chat.

[Mike]

But before like I, I've maybe like smoked any weed or anything like that. There was a more of an emphasis. Like if you smoke weed, it's gonna make you lazy, dumb, everything, right? Honor roll student, smoked weed. Best athlete on the team, smoked weed. I was like, wait, who's lying in this Situation. This just not the outliers or. But I think for some people, it doesn't work.

[Pat]

Six, seven. That way. It depends, man. Indicates to, you know. Boy, that is crazy.

[Mike]

Anyway, welcome to crash dummies, episode 229. I'm Mike. We got Pat here. We got our boy Gene here. They got a classic fit on today, too. I liked it. It's calm, it's regular. What's the inspiration Today?

[Pat]

I just. I just moved. So this is what I. What I can see. Oh, you. Y' all gonna let him shit on y' all like that? That's great. That couldn't be me. Just moved on to better. He literally. He literally just on y' all like, yeah, this some moving shit. Before you said that it was a N. Like, yeah, that's the type of. I like.

[Mike]

Gene.

[Pat]

Them fits right there. Then you said that moving shit. It fucked him up.

[Mike]

Y' all might see Pat's outfit change a couple times.

[Pat]

This pod just once.

[Mike]

Maybe. It depends because we shot multiple days, so you might see his outfit.

[Pat]

If my outfit changed one more time, that mean I'm fed up. That means today was ass. I. I saw this skit that I really like. So basically it's a guy and a girl across the street from each other, basically sitting on their car, right? And they're looking at each other, and they're basically having a discussion slash argument about the subject that they're going to talk about. I'll let you see that on the video. But it's just funny how this is the Dayton perspective right now. And I thought it was hilarious with some people. Men and women experience both sides of it.

[Mike]

So the title of the video is. I think you just sent it over. When you never shoot your shot.

[Pat]

Yeah, it's about shooting your shot.

[Gene]

So you just gonna keep liking my story and not say anything? Yeah, what's the point?

[Pat]

I like the way you look, but I ain't gonna DM you and get rejected.

[Gene]

But you don't even know if I'm gonna reject you or not.

[Pat]

I know, and I'm not trying to find out. I'm comfortable where I'm at.

[Gene]

Do you expect me to talk to you first or something?

[Pat]

That would be amazing, but, nah, you ain't gotta do all that.

[Gene]

Why do men always want us to do all the work?

[Pat]

We don't, but the ratio of y' all shooting y' all shot as opposed to us, y' all more than likely

[Mike]

to be successful at it.

[Gene]

It sounds like you just scared.

[Pat]

Nah, I ain't scared. I Just like the peace that I have. And I ain't trying to deal with the stress of trying to figure out if you into me or not. I ain't got time for it.

[Gene]

But clearly I'm talking to you now.

[Mike]

You got a point.

[Pat]

How about you meet me halfway?

[Gene]

Why?

[Pat]

I just need confirmation.

[Gene]

But I'm literally giving you all the signals.

[Pat]

I'm near sighted. I need to see that thing in 4K. I'm walking now. Just trying to make sure it's mutual.

[Gene]

Okay,

[Pat]

you see, Things are becoming more clear now.

[Gene]

Great. So you can walk the rest of the way.

[Pat]

Hell nah.

[Mike]

Come on.

[Gene]

Come on. Women should not have to do all this. I'm just saying.

[Pat]

Yeah, but look how things are easier now. We both have an understanding and nobody gets rejected. Simple.

[Gene]

Okay, but what about after? What if I don't like you? Or vice versa? It's still the same process.

[Pat]

We gonna cross that road when we get there?

[Mike]

Yeah. There we go. How you doing?

[Gene]

Yeah. Nah, you way too short for me.

[Pat]

I just think that's hilarious, though, that people will have conversations with people about, like, potentially being with them and then not with them. Like, my sister just recently told me a story.

[Mike]

What do you mean?

[Pat]

So, like, basically, in this situation, the dude, she been liking the dude pictures, right? But the dude never responded. He never got aggressive and stuff like that. And then one day she was out with her friends drinking, and they dared her to DM him. So she DMed him. And then he said, I've been waiting on you to hit me up finally. And then they started talking and then he ghosted her, which is not funny, but it's funny in the sense of, like, that. I feel like I've heard so many experiences like that from guys and girls where it's like, basically it's like, oh, you got to be aggressive to get this. You got to ask me out on a date. And then they do the said things and still get rejected. Because I think some people like to be wanted.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Yeah. And they want to be wanted and they want people to want them. And they sometimes don't want that to go away, even though they don't want to be with that person.

[Mike]

I think the dude, to the dude fearing rejection thing is a real thing.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

I would say for myself, I haven't been rejected a lot because I don't

[Pat]

shoot my shot a lot the same area.

[Mike]

So it's like I don't really know the. That feeling like trying actually putting my full effort trying to get with somebody.

[Pat]

Hey, good old man. Some of Y' all niggas is brave, boy. I got a homeboy that would talk to every girl in the park. I mean, he don't give a fuck who see him. He start from finest all the way down to the most. What he think is unattractive. Yes.

[Mike]

Like, he go, go.

[Pat]

He go work it all the way down, and he don't give a. I can't even. Boy, if I get rejected, I might not talk to a woman for five.

[Mike]

Definitely got rejected in, like, middle school, grade school type of thing.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

But I feel like you're more courageous. I think you also have the shield when you're a kid. The shield of telling your friend to tell the girl that you like her.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

So that's that shield. So it was easier to do that. And the rejection does get passed along, but it's more embarrassing to them because you. There's two people that.

[Pat]

It's not embarrassing. You can lie. I don't know why the fuck you would say I l the Jean.

[Mike]

That is a cheat call. Yeah.

[Pat]

Why would I like her, Right? Go to bathroom and cry.

[Mike]

Why?

[Pat]

Why? What's the age limit on that? Using your friend as a barrier to, like, oh, it's raps.

[Mike]

I think it's also like, college. It's not. It depends how it's done.

[Pat]

Yes.

[Mike]

It depends how it's done.

[Pat]

Yes. It's a mature one, I think, like,

[Mike]

say is Pat would tell me, like, hey, bro, go talk to her and see how I'm feeling. How she feeling. He would not do that. I would it be. It's my responsibility to do that first. If I know he's, like, kind of feeling the girls type of thing, then I can kind of go in. And especially if, like, this girl, somebody I talk to or, like, friends or same circle, I can kind of fill it out a little bit, too, because she gonna probably start asking me questions, and I'm like, okay, this is what it is.

[Pat]

Yes. I think the mature way of doing it after a certain age, I feel like after college, this shit is dead.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Let's just keep it at that. But anything after that, the mature way to do it is to view you in that. So, like, let's say back in the day, you're like, let's. It's this girl that I like.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

My job is to now look at your interaction from a bird's eye view to let you know after the conversation if she feeling you or not. You can kind of get signs like, oh, bro, when you was over here, she kept staring at you and Looking at you, and she was smiling. Right. So that's, like, a good sign that you can help your boy with. But as far as, like, going up to the girl, like, yo, you feeling my man? It's like, yo, see? What the fuck?

[Mike]

And I think it only. I feel like you shouldn't do that. There's an age limit only for when you're in the same room as the girl.

[Pat]

Yes, yes.

[Mike]

Because there are situations where it's like, oh, I have a friend that I would want you to meet. I think you guys, you know, just hit it off or type something. Something like that.

[Pat]

Yes.

[Mike]

But, like, if you're all in the same room, it's like, hey, bro, go see if she's feeling me.

[Pat]

Yeah. I was thinking more of a club setting.

[Gene]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Pat]

In the club setting, like, that's. That's terrible. Like, every girl, people don't know that's actually offensive to girls. Like, some dudes don't know that. Like, the super offensive is like, oh, you don't think I'm beautiful enough to talk to me in front of everybody? Because every girl want to be swept off their feet. Every girl, like, especially ones that's looking for a relationship, they want to be able to tell the story about how the y' all first interaction was. So if it's not something natural or you being very masculine in that sense of, like, showing everybody, like, I like her, I want her. I don't care who looking. Then she. How she gonna tell that story to Mama? You know what I mean? Like, oh, how y' all meet? Oh, he told his friend that I got a fat ass.

[Mike]

She got the fat ass, Ms. Terry.

[Pat]

Just like you. I see where she get it from. No, I'm kidding. Don't do that. I hate when I tell jokes like that. Somebody DM me like, pat, that was the best advice ever, bro.

[Mike]

Have you ever had the urge to want to help somebody? Argue? Like, you hear about, like, your friends, like, problems.

[Pat]

Try to load the clip for him. My thing with you, I trick you, though, into, like, if I want you to do something, I go over what I want you to do. Cause I know that you're never gonna do exactly what you did. Like, I do some extreme shit.

[Gene]

Like.

[Pat]

Like, yeah, you know that dude we don't like, he was looking at me crazy. I'd be like, man, shoot that nigga in the head. Mike just be like, yeah, but I just unfollowed him on Instagram. I don't fuck with him no more. Like, yeah, that's what I wanted him to do, but if I would have told him, unfollow him, he would have been like, nah. Cause he always look at me as like, the harsher person. Like, I'm harsh or some shit.

[Mike]

No, I know I. I know I could be harsh sometimes.

[Pat]

Yeah, you. You like, you kind of evil. Like, I'm like, people view me as like. Like this sparky person. But yes, in person at the time, I might do the eviler shit out of it too, right? I might react faster than you.

[Mike]

I think you might react faster. And I would say the way I like my revenge is like, I like it to slow cook a little bit.

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're a slow cooker.

[Mike]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Pat]

I want to stab him, right, Mike? Like, yeah, man, we gonna buy this nigga mama house just laid out there.

[Mike]

We buy his mama house and we put a fucking bomb in that. What the fuck? And we set the house on fire.

[Pat]

Nah, we keep throwing parties in his mama old room and shit. Shit crazy here. You know your mom left for wigs, right?

[Mike]

I kinda hate that we are so literal with the human, the English langu language.

[Pat]

What do you mean by that?

[Mike]

Because you know how we used to all say, oh, I just did a 360 in my life, or my life just did 360, right?

[Pat]

And people get.

[Mike]

People start over analyzing it. Like, now I see people saying, I just did a complete 180, right?

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

And I hate that because if somebody does want to say 360, it's like, everybody wants to be like, that's. You just started back where you started.

[Pat]

We. We're the only. We're the only country that do that. I feel like every other language, there's different ways to say things, and they kind of just want you to because is that.

[Mike]

Yeah, I know what you mean.

[Pat]

I feel like the other countries. What I learned from being in the airport in London, wherever we were, fuck we were, is that there's more people that speak different languages there. And obviously in their airports. And like more people that cross and more people that have to communicate without knowing the same language.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And they just get the fucking job done. Like, obviously, hey, we don't speak the same type of thing, but we going to talk in this base language here. You use your instead of yours. You got like 50 niggas in your comments. Y' all knew what I meant though, right?

[Mike]

And I think it is like that thing the English language is like. I think with especially like some Nigerian languages, words can mean like, things or like phrase. Like my last Name, it means the day shall be. Right. And then that can be interpreted differently. So. But the same way, if somebody says, my Life did a 360, you should interpret that. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah, but people want to, like, change the. Like, now we're going to do 180. That's not technically. That's not right. It's like, it's not a technical term, but even.

[Pat]

But, like, if you think about a 180, it's just like flipping the other way technically. But a 360 would be like, you turn it around. And that's why I thought the definition was I did a total360. I turned it all the way around. Right. That's what I'm saying.

[Mike]

Sorry you said like that. But definitely that sounds right.

[Pat]

Yeah, I'm like, I'm doing a 360. Like, I'm turning my around. What I do at 184. There's some out here just doing 90 constantly. Yeah, he just jumping side to side. There's a video of this woman, she's recording herself driving. She's trying to take off her hoodie while driving. It gets stuck on top of her head and she can't see. And in the video, you see her swerve, catch the swerve, and then end up pulling a hoodie over in like a half Melta position where she still got her arms in it. And the quote tweet above it, which I thought is very interesting, is like, somebody like this will kill a safe driver. You can be safely driving perfectly fine following all the rules, actually, like, be on. Like, have your own. Your P's and Q's and actually looking for people. If you in the wrong spot, like, oh, these people look like they might hit me and still die from somebody. Just something simple, like not even drinking and driving. Like, nigga try to fix his fucking hoodie and kill me like this.

[Mike]

It's so much like, trust we have to have in each other on the road. It's just like that. Like, we all trying to keep each other safe, and we're both trying to stay safe. And that's a lot of trust to, like, to have with other humans.

[Pat]

My homie's sister got into a crash from sneezing. Like, she sneezed, I guess swerved and, like, hit somebody. Hey, I want to let you know, you know how bad I would be somebody ass if we got in an accident. And then he hopped out and was like, my bad, bro. I sneeze allergies. Like, I'D rather him be drunk or something. Like, oh, you're a drunk driver. You sneeze. That's why my car total like, you got me up. You didn't.

[Mike]

There are other people that get into car accidents. Like, the first thing they do is take a picture.

[Pat]

They can't believe it. Yeah, I. I used to. I used to shame them and now I don't anymore because that shit is amazing sometimes, especially if you've been in a really bad one.

[Mike]

I'm not talking about like the day before, after. Sometimes I'm like, just happened.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Like, I was like, damn, bro. He's like, yeah, this just happened. Yeah, I just feel like there's more prayer conversations.

[Pat]

Nah, man. Record all that shit, bro.

[Mike]

I can't believe bro, LeBron and

[Pat]

Devil tried to get me again. You got to put that gin down. The devil. That's drinking and driving.

[Mike]

I drove past a 24 hour adult video store and I'm wondering, yeah, yeah,

[Pat]

God damn, you got to come to Wisconsin.

[Mike]

Should we shame people that still buy their porn physically?

[Pat]

I. I don't trust. I wouldn't trust anybody that buys their porn physically. Because I feel like anytime some people have footage of something like raw tapes, I think they're also doing other shit that's like crimes like this guy. You know what I mean? It's just like, why, why, why is it. Why are you so afraid to have this shit on the Internet? People be collectors, I guess. No, tell me about, cuz. I got DVDs though.

[Mike]

Really? I got.

[Pat]

Yeah, I got like Scarface.

[Gene]

I got like po.

[Pat]

I.

[Mike]

Poor dud. I thought he did too.

[Pat]

And I was going to let him slide too.

[Mike]

I was like, you don't want to judge your friend. But we definitely w. That would have been our first conversation when we left this place. Maybe I would have called each other, be like, bro, porn, dv, dance, Onion booty.

[Pat]

Do you rest? Not kidding. They got a rim system. Like.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Pat]

My point was like, you know, I got. I got like. We were just talking about paying for all the streaming services too. You know, like, I do that and I have like DVDs, so it's just like a thing, you know, about like. But collectors but like, who are that deeply invested because you gotta.

[Mike]

You only got a limited amount to watch. It's like you just gonna. I'm gonna watch this one today. This one. Because usually what they like 44 minutes an hour.

[Pat]

I like that though. It's almost like having like a record player appreciation. I mean, if you got a little Blu Ray and you can put it on just that. Set the mood a little bit. That's romantic as hell.

[Mike]

That's all it could.

[Pat]

You want to watch Shrek too, bro? Or. Or Toy Story.

[Mike]

Towards the end of it, I taped over it.

[Pat]

Oh, watch this.

[Mike]

This.

[Pat]

This classic. About to get up halfway through the movie. We ain't going to see the best scene. Watch this.

[Mike]

My dad was the worst when it came to taping over stuff on VH vhs. Yeah. So you know, you have the VHA player, VHS player. And my dad would record like,

[Pat]

I

[Mike]

tried, bro, VHS player.

[Pat]

There it is.

[Mike]

My dad would record just like childhood moments and stuff like that, right. And then you try to re watch it and it's like it cuts into something else completely from like the next day or like some random thing in funeral, like a bird or some shit. And it's just like my dad wasn't good at like organizing like once. This is like Mike's first steps. Walk, videotape. You can't just use the same tape and tape something over. And now it's like a double exposure and shit like that.

[Pat]

Oh, he was fucking that shit up. I had like my favorite one. I used to have like a Rugrats tape and it was like orange. And then a bunch of movies started using like the orange tapes and. Yeah, and that used to me up because my dumb ass thought like, oh, it gotta be Rugrats. Nickelodeon, they just made all their tapes. Yeah, that was ass.

[Mike]

He said, which one is Rugger or the orange one?

[Pat]

Oh, so there's some that I just found out. I wish I knew the name of the podcast because I would hate for somebody to do this to me, but it was on Tick Tock. I couldn't find a name, but it was. I think it was a producer, don't know his name. He was talking about Same Girl by R. Kelly. Usher.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And like he was telling the backstory of it, like how it came together. So R. Kelly wrote Same Girl, right? And then they had the big idea of instead of singing it by yourself. Because, you know, R. Kelly has done that before with Trapped in the Closet. Yeah, instead. Instead of singing it by yourself, why don't you have someone sing the other verse? So they said, oh, Usher is perfect. They were signed to the same label and they had never did a song together. So it'll make the song even bigger. They sent the song to Usher. Usher took the part that he now has that everybody knows. And he wasn't supposed to take that part because R. Kelly was mad that he took that part because he asked the producer, do you think Usher could take my girl? And he was dead ass serious. Like, he was mad at the dude. Like, do you think Usher can take my girl? So then they argued about it, and it was, I don't have a clip.

[Gene]

And.

[Mike]

Okay, go ahead.

[Pat]

No, no, no. I don't know where to clip at. And then they. They argued about it. Should I just play Find a clip?

[Mike]

No, it's fine.

[Pat]

You think I'm explaining it well?

[Mike]

Yeah, you explain it well.

[Pat]

Okay. Okay. Then they argued about it, and that's why the girls end up being twins at the end. Because R. Kelly didn't want anybody thinking that Usher could take his girl.

[Mike]

So, like, the concept was different.

[Pat]

Yeah. So they changed the concept at the end. It was just supposed to be like, I took your girl, like, same girl and stuff like that. But R. Kelly didn't like that Usher took that verse. So what come out? Yeah, yeah.

[Mike]

But I like, the Rock has, like, they say the Rock has like a clause in his contract where he can't get beat up or he can't lose a fight and what any movie he's in.

[Pat]

So I feel it. It's almost like getting dunked on. You know what I mean? Like, people, like, people will use that footage against me. You know, there's. There's footage of Kevin Hart getting humped by Shaq, like, over a car. You ever seen that one? Like, he bent Kevin Hart over and like, I don't remember that, but it's

[Mike]

just like, I think I saw that in the corner of the street of pirate piracy website.

[Pat]

They'll know what I'm talking about.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Pat]

But it's like a clip like that and like, obviously he did that for comedy at the time.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And now people try to use that against them. So just like, anytime you try to make fun of yourself or do something, the Internet's always going to come by. So, like, why do that if you don't have to? The R. Kelly was never going, like, you never. Because what if we get into it one day? We not boys.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Because, you know, back then I used to think everybody that feature on the song with each other.

[Mike]

I used to do a best friend. Yeah.

[Pat]

Made the song together.

[Mike]

Like, they were in the studio. They locked in.

[Pat]

I thought Drake and Lil Wayne hung out every day. I'm like, they cousins. Them niggas probably eating cereal right now.

[Mike]

These days. These days, the artists, you do a feature for somebody and the. The feature artist might not even know the name of the actual artist. Yeah. At all.

[Pat]

They just like, damn, I with him

[Mike]

on the track of what's his. What's his name?

[Pat]

That's a crazy lyric about a track, but what's his name? It's so disrespectful.

[Mike]

Some of the Kodak was saying like

[Pat]

around and say ins artist, whatever name is. Oh, there was this battle rapper that did that New Jersey twerk. Dude gave New Jersey twerk a deposit to do a verse on his track. And New Jersey twerk was taken all day. So dude thought New Jersey twerk scammed him, but New Jersey twerk was just taken all day. So when he found out that dude posted like New Jersey twerk scam me. He finished the verse and on the verses, dissing that, oh, he's like this trash ass song. Trash, trash, trash. Fat ass. Yo, your verse.

[Gene]

Hi.

[Pat]

Yo, what's good?

[Gene]

What's up?

[Pat]

Welcome to Crash on these podcast. How are y' all wadwani?

[Mike]

I got a question for you.

[Gene]

What?

[Pat]

Huh?

[Mike]

What's something you want to see less of?

[Gene]

Married men hitting on single women or just women in. In general?

[Pat]

You got an example of this?

[Gene]

I do. Sorry I'm doing laundry, but I work for a pretty big retail company and every single guy there that's married just wants to talk to me. It's horrible. Are you single and one of them. I am one of them. So creepy. But he has money, so maybe. Just kidding. He has been working with that company since 1983. I was born in 1992.

[Pat]

God damn.

[Gene]

And he just told me the other day, he's like, yeah, you're hot. I said, whoa.

[Pat]

Well, we know what color he is. No doubt about that. Only one. One type of person using that lingo right there. You're hot is crazy. What was your response?

[Gene]

I just walked away and told him I had to go clock in for my shift and I just left.

[Pat]

You didn't report him?

[Gene]

No. What if he throws me some money? I can't report that.

[Pat]

See there, you see?

[Mike]

You want them to stop, but then you're enabling them by giving them hope.

[Pat]

I sure you got the money. That's why she's saying I think she received money. Because why the second time has been. Yeah, you're right.

[Gene]

Like if he's going to throw some stacks this in a circle.

[Pat]

Have you ever. Have you ever received money from any of these guys?

[Gene]

No. And that's the sad part. Like you waiting for. Yeah. So if you want it, you going to pay.

[Pat]

Wait one way, though. Wait one what?

[Gene]

Whatever they want.

[Pat]

Oh, my God. So it's for sale.

[Gene]

No, it's not for sale.

[Pat]

But you said if they give you money, they can get whatever they want. It's for bribe.

[Gene]

Hey, man, $3,000. Somebody got to give them what they want.

[Pat]

That's. I mean, that's for sale. I want to let you know that's pretty cheap, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mike]

So why.

[Pat]

I said 4,000, like, a few pods ago. Yeah. What's the most. What's the most expensive thing in your store? How much does this cost?

[Gene]

The most expensive thing, probably the jewelry.

[Pat]

Okay. What. What after that, though, Name something.

[Gene]

Maybe like our TV section.

[Pat]

TV section? What did you say? The TV. What's the most expensive TV?

[Gene]

I think like 2800.

[Pat]

Perfect. Perfect.

[Gene]

Perfect. Why is it that perfect?

[Pat]

That's right around 3,000.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Yeah. I mean, instead of buying a TV, they can just buy you one day just chilling.

[Gene]

Yeah, exactly.

[Mike]

So the only reason you have a problem with. The only reason you have a problem with married men hitting on single woman is because they haven't offered money.

[Gene]

Yes.

[Pat]

At least you know, they want ass,

[Gene]

but we don't get nothing in return. How does that work?

[Mike]

Yeah. You know what they call that, right?

[Gene]

Making money. That's what.

[Mike]

Yes.

[Pat]

The oldest profession in the world

[Gene]

called working.

[Pat]

Yeah. I never heard of retail. Retail prostitution is different. I'm gonna lie to you. This is amazing.

[Gene]

Right?

[Mike]

In the event, can you fight?

[Gene]

I don't know.

[Mike]

Yeah, I'm just saying, like, in the event of, like, these men's, like, wives finding out, are you, like, equipped to.

[Gene]

Oh, yeah. Those women I can take. I'm not finding no Clarissa Shield.

[Pat]

They're all white women. She knows all their wives. That's why she knows she can take them. All right. She said all right.

[Gene]

You too.

[Pat]

It's crazy.

[Mike]

Oh, man.

[Gene]

Oh, hello.

[Pat]

Hello, hello, Hello. Hey.

[Gene]

Hey, Michael. Hey, Patrick.

[Pat]

What's it. Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo. What's up with the. The names?

[Gene]

I mean, that's. That's the names you guys are born with, right?

[Pat]

But, you know, nobody calls us that. So you're trying to get under our skin.

[Mike]

It's more. It. It sounds natural when it comes from a woman. I feel like when I say Michael, it's a more like.

[Pat]

No, no, Michael is not her down be funny. But Patrick is. She's trying to be funny, like she know what she doing. Patrick is uncalled for.

[Mike]

Anyway, we got a question for you.

[Gene]

Okay.

[Mike]

What's something you want to see less of?

[Gene]

Okay, so I want to see less of men standing on couches in the

[Mike]

club in their sections, what's wrong with it?

[Gene]

Is atrocious because I just don't. So, me personally, I think that, like, women standing in the club, like, it's more aesthetically pleasing. Like, you know, you see pretty girls in a club and they're standing on sections having fun. Like, at least we're, like, dancing or doing something productive with our time up there. But, like, men standing on campus in the club, like, they're just standing there doing nothing.

[Pat]

Yeah, that's it. You know what? I agree with you, though, because what I hate, obviously, standing sitting on the couch, is for, like, the aesthetic of the club. Like, look how lit we are. And when it's a dude that's mean mugging the whole crowd, it's just like, what's this, a villain or something?

[Mike]

Like, they could look angrier than security.

[Pat]

Yeah, it's like, what's wrong with him? Did he get his bottle? I don't understand why he look like that now. I feel it. What you.

[Mike]

What you got?

[Pat]

What you got to say to those men? What's your official message to men in the club?

[Gene]

I don't really have a message. I just don't think that you guys should be up there. I just. I don't. I just don't know what. What the whole point of it is. Like, I would. I would add to that by saying, like, stop standing on captives in the club and stop snatching hookah from the women. I didn't have this happen.

[Mike]

Yes.

[Gene]

Okay, so quick sidebar. So my friend group, I have a big friend group, and there's this guy that we know from college, and we know when we see him that he's going to be like, oh, like, let me hit the hookah. So it's like a joke, Like a running joke. Now that, like, we see. So it was our homeboy's birthday, literally like three weeks ago. We saw him, and I was like, I bet you he's gonna come over here, ask us to hit the hookah. So sure enough, he comes in. Hey, guys. How's it going? Like, what's up? And he's like, that. Pouring. Yeah. You're what?

[Pat]

Yeah, No, I ain't gonna lie. No, that is like, you know, I don't say this about must things, but that's zesty.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Is that pulling? Like, just sit down.

[Gene]

Like, not Indian. It's like, not even asking, can he hit it? Like, it's like, just. Is it pulling?

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah, that's like, it tastes good, but I think.

[Mike]

Don't you prefer that than somebody trying to, like, sneakily try to get the hookah.

[Gene]

I mean, yeah, but I don't know. I just. I don't know. Like, these days, I don't. I don't go out that much anymore. But, like, most places when you order hookah, they're like, oh, only a certain amount of people can be per hookah. So if it's like 10 of y', all, y' all have to order, like, three hookahs or some shit. So you already know we are at our limit. You can't come over here. And then, like, we. Let's say we leave it alone. We go, like, my homegirl starts twerking or some, and we come back, and you just there sitting next to the hookah. I, like, watch.

[Pat]

You know, that is a thing.

[Gene]

Really plotting on the hookah is crazy.

[Pat]

No, it's crazy.

[Mike]

All right, I appreciate you. You have a good one.

[Gene]

Thanks, y', all, too. Bye.

[Mike]

Yo, yo, what up? What up?

[Pat]

Yo, yo, what's the deal?

[Gene]

How you doing?

[Pat]

Welcome to Crashing Bees Podcast. Do.

[Mike]

Okay, I got a question for you.

[Gene]

All right, all right. What's up?

[Mike]

All right. What's the most painful realization you had about yourself?

[Pat]

Okay, I don't hate myself enough.

[Mike]

Why do you say that

[Gene]

myself enough? Because. Every time I want to go, like, let's say.

[Pat]

Big, you know, I'm a big guy.

[Gene]

So every time I'm like, oh, you

[Pat]

give us a better, better visual. What do you mean? How much you. What? Hold on, hold on.

[Gene]

Let me. Let me stop you, Pat. Dude. Dude, you're a dude. What the.

[Pat]

You know, I just asked one simple question, bro. No, no, no, listen. I literally just asked. I literally just. Just for the fans, for the people that's listening, give them.

[Mike]

You.

[Pat]

You say you're a big dude. I'm thinking, like, what, you, six, five? Like, I don't know which was you talking about. No, no.

[Gene]

Okay, hear me out first. I texted you. You.

[Pat]

You dropped merch.

[Gene]

I texted you, and I told you, hey, do you have 5x5XL? And you said, are you gonna use

[Mike]

it as a blanket?

[Pat]

I'm like, why?

[Gene]

What the hell are you, like, generally asking a question? So.

[Mike]

And.

[Pat]

And you posted it on. On. On your Instagram because I was like, oh, my God. But, yeah, I don't. I don't run my page, bro.

[Mike]

But okay, but go back to what you were saying then.

[Pat]

So now we got the answer to the visual, everybody.

[Gene]

Okay, okay, so I'm five' ten,

[Pat]

and

[Gene]

I'm 455,

[Pat]

but I don't look.

[Gene]

I don't look 455. I don't look like, I don't look big.

[Pat]

I'm sure. All right.

[Gene]

I look. I don't look big.

[Pat]

You know, like, I don't look 455.

[Mike]

Okay, now you're right. You don't look 455.

[Pat]

You don't.

[Mike]

No.

[Pat]

See, let's see. Hold on. And I'll be the judge, though.

[Mike]

Oh, no. It was a good angle. You look 455.

[Pat]

No, he don't.

[Gene]

What?

[Pat]

Oh, he don't look for.

[Mike]

You don't. You really don't.

[Pat]

No, you don't look 455, bro, but go ahead, bro.

[Mike]

Okay. We're kind of stuck on your weight right now.

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah, it's. Oh, I think because it's in your lower half, you know, when, like, you know what?

[Mike]

You know, you're shaved like a pair.

[Pat]

You know, when Squidward. You know, when Squidward broke in and ate all those crappy patties?

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

That's how kind of how he. Oh, my God. You're wrong for that.

[Gene]

But anyways, so I'm always like, I

[Pat]

want to drop weight. I want to drop weight, and I go to the gym.

[Gene]

Like, I constantly, Like, I go to the gym, but every time I go to the gym, that's a step. That's. That's one step forward.

[Pat]

But then during the day, I'm like,

[Gene]

I get hungry, and then I take,

[Mike]

like, two, two, three steps back.

[Pat]

A lot of food. Sorry. So I'm just like, like, damn. Like, I. I dropped this weight, but then I gain it back, so I'm just always.

[Mike]

No real talk, though, bro. I think what you need to do is try to start. You don't have to go to the gym right away. Try to start just by walking more. I think sometimes people make that big jump, and it's, like, harder to maintain. So it's like, all right, what I'm gonna do first is I'm gonna start walking, taking more steps. Call it 10, 000 steps. Right? That's what everybody kind of tries to get right. Start with just walking a lot more because then you're going to start building those habits. And the thing, like, sometimes I have to lose weight for fights and stuff like that, and everybody kind of goes through their own kind of issues. So just don't let one day ruin, like, your progress in the sense of, like, don't think because you messed up one day, then you have to mess up the next day and everything's all over. Why are you laughing? Why are you laughing? I'm giving Jackie with advice. No, I'm not laughing.

[Pat]

He's lying.

[Mike]

He's lying.

[Pat]

But, no, preferably, like, walk during the day, not at night. People trying to sleep. Oh, my gosh. I'm just playing, bro. But you need to walk, though. I want you to be able to listen to this podcast forever. No, seriously, we don't want you to run into any health issues. That's why I'm not sending you a 5. I'll send you a 4x. I'm not sending no 5, though, because I don't. I don't support that. Okay, you got to start walking. All right. You get a free Forex. How much? No, how much you weigh? 4, 450.

[Gene]

455.

[Pat]

450. Let's call it 470. And be real. If you drop down to. If you drop down under four, you got you free merch, and we give you free Patreon for a month. How much weight? How much weight? Just. Just get under 400.

[Mike]

If it gets under 400, I will give you $100. I would pay for your, like, your first two months of your gym membership if you get under 400 and you can.

[Pat]

How are you supposed to get there? Pay for this shit right now, then?

[Mike]

No, I'm just saying I'll pay, like, two or three months of your membership, for sure.

[Pat]

No, we definitely gonna hook you up. You get under 400.

[Mike]

That's. That.

[Pat]

That. That need to be a motivation. Like, I don't mean to, Like, I don't like to joke. I don't like the fat shame, but, like, I want you to be healthy. This is, like, kind of like in the unhealthy range. We want you to be here for a long time, you know, Real talk right there. Appreciate that. I hope this will spark it, man. Definitely. I would. I. Go ahead. Next time, I'm gonna send you. I'm gonna send you a photo of my. Of my weight, like, in three, three, four months.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And I'll be like, hey, I dropped this much. So perfect.

[Gene]

I want that.

[Pat]

I want that 100 from that free merch. That's easy, bro. I think you can do it in less time than that. I think you can do it in a month, bro.

[Mike]

I think he is not dropping 50 pounds in a month.

[Pat]

Yes, you can, bro. In a healthy way, bro. Yes, he can, bro.

[Mike]

Don't focus on the just one. Focus on just moving first.

[Pat]

Just walk.

[Mike]

Just start moving, right? And then start going to the gym. Say, hey, this Week. I'm gonna go to the gym one time this week. Right. Just keep building those habits. Like, at least I'm going one time a week, and then start saying, I'm gonna go two. It's just about sticking to it.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Just don't let any, like, mishaps or bad days ruin the rest of your days. You can still. One bad day is not gonna make a difference.

[Pat]

Yeah, don't try to. Also, don't try to eliminate everything at once. You hurting yourself by doing that. By trying to have those perfect days where you eating all, like, salads, and then you go into the gym, you try to do it two a day at the gym, it's gonna you over for the next day. It's gonna be a crash out. Just eliminate one thing at a time. So let's just start walking.

[Gene]

All right, for sure.

[Mike]

You have a good one, man.

[Gene]

All right, man.

[Pat]

Take care of it.

[Mike]

You too, man.

[Gene]

Okay.

[Mike]

Hello. Welcome to Craftsman's Podcast.

[Pat]

Yo.

[Gene]

Yes. How are you guys?

[Pat]

Good, good, good. How you doing?

[Gene]

Good. I've been trying to, like, get on here for the longest.

[Pat]

Oh, fire.

[Mike]

Fire. Welcome, welcome.

[Pat]

I got a question for you.

[Gene]

Sure.

[Pat]

Okay. What's the most painful realization about yourself?

[Gene]

That the saddest thing is that I like to torture my ex. Yeah. Like, I really hate that part of me, but I love it at the same time.

[Pat]

Okay, you got to explain torture.

[Mike]

You know, when you say. When you say torture, what do you mean?

[Gene]

Like, obviously, bedroom stuff. Well, I mean, it's that and also other little things. But, like, long story short, we wore together, and he cheated on me the whole four going to five years, I held it down, of course, as long as I could, but I couldn't do it no more. So I guess, like, the two, three years of me, you know, seeking my peace slash health and all that stuff, trying to get over it, I thought of a great idea of coming back with this, like, extra mean girl sexy vibe, which I know he like. And I just, you know.

[Pat]

How do you know he likes stuff?

[Gene]

Oh, I definitely know because when I, you know what say, like, he would pop up and stuff. I'd be like, okay, let's go in the room. And he'd be like, oh, nah. I'd be like, come on, Come on. I know what you like. So, like, I would literally would have sex with, like, another guy, let him come on top of my, you know, my stuff, and have him licking it, and, you know, all of that. So that's me torturing him, like, giving back his. What he did to me,

[Mike]

this took a. I would think it was just like.

[Pat]

Like, that's not torture. Like.

[Gene]

No, I'm telling you, like, he liked that little. Little. Do he know? I mean, he likes to get slapped around and pinched and of course, like.

[Pat]

No, pinch is funny.

[Gene]

Yeah, by me. By me. Like, when I was with him for them four or five years, like, I was being such a nice girl because I thought women that get wifed up is nice girls. So I wasn't being a freak. I was being very nice. So coming into this now, I'm like, oh, I'm gonna get my revenge. I'm gonna torture him. So I would, you know, have sex with somebody else and have. Rub it all over him. Like. Yeah, put your fingers in there. Yeah.

[Mike]

Wait.

[Gene]

Or like, wait, how was.

[Mike]

Was it like. Were these like threesomes with other people? Yeah.

[Gene]

No, no, it would be just me and him.

[Pat]

So. Okay, let's get this right. You're going. You're going. So after. This is revenge, though. You're doing this as revenge?

[Gene]

Yeah, but it feels good. So it's like, I do this often now. Like, I'd be like, yeah, yeah, yeah, go ahead, go in there. Or like, I'd be like, no, open your mouth. So say if I know that a guy just spit in my mouth, I would spit his mouth when he come over after that. Like, I would purposely do certain things because I know when I was with him, I mean, who knows what he was doing with the other girl.

[Pat]

I get it. He was basically. He was basically doing the same thing to you, right?

[Mike]

They were all in the same room. This was all happening.

[Pat]

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

[Gene]

This is like, I'll invite him over right after I done did something.

[Pat]

Got it. Yeah.

[Mike]

So he doesn't know this?

[Pat]

No, no, no, no. He definitely don't know this.

[Gene]

No.

[Pat]

Even till this day, you're still breathing.

[Gene]

No, definitely till this day, I'm definitely still breathing. I go to the doctor, I'm clean, I haven't caught a thing. Thank you, Jesus. But like. Yeah.

[Mike]

Oh, you're not with him anymore?

[Gene]

No, we never got back. I just been. I know that he likes to play around, like. Got it, guys. So I became that. I became that extra sexy. Like, what about.

[Mike]

Like,

[Pat]

what about. What about, like, furthering your life, you know? Like, what about, like, you know, progressing where you are right now?

[Gene]

Oh, hell yeah. I got a great job. Like, it's a lot of things that I did after I left 10, you know? Yeah.

[Pat]

But the whole.

[Mike]

Really. Is it really revenge if the Person that you're getting revenge doesn't know that that happened.

[Gene]

Well, I mean, does the evil guy really want the other person to know? No, not really.

[Pat]

That's true.

[Gene]

You know, I'm, I'm, I'm boohoo hahaha. On the side.

[Pat]

That's crazy. But I'm just saying like why do you have to use your body to do it? I get that's, you know what I mean? Just like why do you have to involve yourself? Like what happened to like, I mean,

[Gene]

slashing some tires but like nah, he ain't got no car.

[Pat]

Okay, I know, but listen, but listen, listen. I want you, I just want you to like let's step outside of the box. I'm getting nutted on to get revenge.

[Gene]

What? Like he's tonguing me down and I just finished giving somebody the got gock 3000.

[Pat]

But I get that, I get that, but that's like. But you're turning yourself almost into a prostitute.

[Gene]

I mean, if you want to say it like that.

[Pat]

I mean that's what I'm saying.

[Mike]

No, not there's no money. See, the thing is there's no money,

[Gene]

all right, Selling her. Oh no, there's tons of money. See, there's money with the other person. The person that I'm doing this with. I do get money from them. It's the same person. It's not multiple different.

[Pat]

I know you getting paid through all this million baby. Yes, I already knew that or you wouldn't be doing it.

[Gene]

Yeah, I live in New York. These.

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah, but, yeah, yeah but I just think like getting came on is not like it's not a good revenge tactic. Like what about like I'm telling you, getting him to send send you money. I get you saying what he broke or something.

[Gene]

Oh yeah, of course I've done that. Like taking a cab to the guy house that I gotta go do stuff to. Like you know he's eating food that the guy made or like, you know, he came in the rice and I'm supposed to just eat it off and give it to him and he eats it and I'm just there just looking at him like it tastes really good, right?

[Pat]

I know, I just feel like came in the right. Yeah, I just feel like, I just feel like nobody should be coming on you if you're trying to get revenge. Just like I'm stuck there. I'm so sorry. I just feel like.

[Gene]

I know, I know, but for me, for me it fit like at first I was, I don't know, it turned into, like, revenge. And revenge turned into something that I started to, like, got it. And then it's like I start to enjoy it to the point like, you

[Pat]

should have been laid with that. As long as you enjoying it. Shit, I thought you was, like, torturing yourself. I'm enjoying to torture somebody else.

[Gene]

Yeah, I don't want to torture myself no more.

[Pat]

Okay.

[Gene]

No, I enjoy it because the money's sweet, and then I gotta turn around and see him eating stuff that, you know.

[Pat]

Yeah, you said.

[Mike]

Hey, so are you, like, seeking relationships then now?

[Gene]

Honestly, No. I don't even trust a man on this earth. I'm not even lying to you.

[Mike]

Yes.

[Gene]

You good?

[Pat]

Yes. They can't trust you.

[Gene]

I know, I know. Don't trust me.

[Mike]

For real?

[Gene]

For real. Cause I don't know when am I gonna get to a healthy point in my life. Like, I'm gonna stop one day.

[Pat]

I believe it, though. I believe it, though.

[Gene]

Thank you. I really appreciate that.

[Pat]

No, I believe it. You're gonna be a great woman someday, but for now, you're a cum dumbster.

[Gene]

I am just loving it.

[Pat]

Yes.

[Mike]

Oh, my God. Just live. All right. You have a good one.

[Gene]

No, I am living. I felt like I wasn't living for a long time in my life. Like, I was just really, get a husband. Get a husband. Because everyone around me was doing that.

[Pat]

So I was like, oh, oh, quick advice. Please, please, God, never tell your husband this. I'm telling you.

[Gene]

No, I won't.

[Pat]

Okay, good.

[Gene]

I would hope that my. My. My husband was a slut once upon. Once upon a time as well. So we both could be like, we're good people today.

[Pat]

I guarantee you to just leave this story out of it, though. I wouldn't call this being a slut.

[Mike]

You know what I mean?

[Pat]

There's a couple other words.

[Gene]

He would literally be like, like, is this. Is this food? Did you make it? Like, let me put you.

[Pat]

Oh, yeah, I forgot.

[Gene]

Yeah, yeah.

[Pat]

Can't trust you. Can't eat. Can't eat nothing around you.

[Gene]

I know.

[Mike]

All right, you have a good night.

[Gene]

Thanks. You too. Guys.

[Pat]

My first time saying this on the show. Be careful, fellas.

[Mike]

I was so confused.

[Pat]

Yo, yo, you hear me?

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah, we can hear you. I got a question for you. I was kind of skipping the formalities. What's something you want to see? Less of Unnecessary.

[Pat]

Unnecessary weed packaging. Okay, so y' all know how.

[Gene]

I don't know.

[Pat]

I feel like this happens ever since,

[Mike]

like, the pandemic niggas have been put

[Pat]

in, like, weed and, like, the Like, I seen a PlayStation box last Station 5. I seen a fake pizza box. Seen a fake AirPods case.

[Mike]

Labubu pack.

[Pat]

Like, they just doing too much.

[Mike]

What really kind of like, put it over the edge for me is I was with my man and we was talking about this, and he pulled out

[Pat]

a honey pack out of his pocket, and there was weed in it. That's actually dope.

[Gene]

That is not dope, bro.

[Pat]

That is not why you asking me to hit a honey pack. Because exactly the exact reason for this story. You remember the honey pack? We now ain't gonna go back if it was fired. You know what I'm saying?

[Mike]

Was it good?

[Gene]

I did not hit that.

[Pat]

That is super pause. Yeah, okay. I mean, you made it that way. I was kind of weird by you. No, no, no. I didn't make it weird.

[Mike]

He made it weird because why are you pulling out a honey pack out your pocket, bro? Like, what's good?

[Gene]

Weed.

[Mike]

There was weed inside?

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Y' all were probably there to smoke, right?

[Pat]

Where was y' all at? Why are you so uncomfortable? Oh, around your friend. I was at the skate Now. We went to skate park, and we was just chilling. We were sitting down, and then we was. We was getting ready to smoke, and I had my own, and then we was trying to match, and he pulled out the honey pack, and I was

[Gene]

like, you know what?

[Pat]

I'm just gonna smoke my own. You could take care of yours and we'll be good. What was Joey then? I had pre rolls. I had pre roll. Don't hold me like that. That's crazy. I had pre roll.

[Gene]

Hi.

[Mike]

Hi. Hi. Hey. Welcome to Crash Enemies Podcast.

[Gene]

Oh, well, hi. Am I literally on the podcast right now?

[Pat]

I mean, it depends on how this call goes, if it makes it or not. What's up?

[Gene]

Well, hopefully not. Or you guys can, like, chop and screw it, because I don't feel like I am ready. But I would like to vent about the cringy LinkedIn post.

[Mike]

What about them?

[Gene]

I mean, I'm just tired of LinkedIn becoming a medium for trauma dumping. Like, I understand that it is a social media platform, but it's supposed to be a place where people go to network for jobs. And I know that our economy is shit and a lot of people are losing their jobs, but I'm tired of. Of, like, logging on LinkedIn and seeing that someone has just been diagnosed with stage four cancer, or their house and their mortgage is in the rears and they're about to be evicted, and then they try to sell you something and It's.

[Mike]

What kind of algorithm that is LinkedIn?

[Pat]

Now, I don't.

[Mike]

Oh, LinkedIn is.

[Gene]

It's not an algorithm. Like, you guys are not on LinkedIn. But I'm telling you, on LinkedIn, I'm on LinkedIn.

[Mike]

It's.

[Gene]

Yeah, there's a. Congratulations.

[Mike]

There's a thing where people will, like, say, like a sad story and then divert into a sales pitch.

[Pat]

Like, it's not a scam.

[Mike]

No, no, no. It's just the way. It's just like they're.

[Gene]

It's not a scam. It's just the way the world is working right now.

[Mike]

They're engagement farming. Okay. So they use that to get likes and activity on LinkedIn for job opportunities, right?

[Gene]

Yeah, it's not necessarily job opportunities. Sometimes they are literally trying to sell you software as. But people will get on there and say, like, the most depressing thing ever. And they're using Chat GPT. So it's like full of emojis. Like, it's like. It's like clear and concise trauma. And then it's like, but I'm selling this or I'm doing that. Like, I could usually be a lot more funny, but you guys have called me when I'm.

[Mike]

I feel like this is relatable.

[Pat]

That's relatable information. Like, a lot of people. A lot of people don't fuck with. With this. Only thing I gotta say, if you use Chat gbt, at least erase the long ass dashes you ass. I hate that, bro. Like, you think I'm this stupid, bro? Like, at least delete that, bro.

[Mike]

I had someone say, listen, as someone who.

[Gene]

Okay, go ahead, go ahead. No, I was gonna say as like, someone who is very good at writing. I don't even want to engage and write anything anymore because I think that people immediately default to, oh, this is well written in my chat GPT. So I'm like, I'm. I'm not even doing it because everyone's using it. LinkedIn is a mess. The world is a mess. And I don't know how relatable it is to the people who follow the podcast, but I am a LinkedIn user.

[Mike]

No, that's crazy. Listen, no, we got. We got very. Our listeners very employed, especially the Patreon ones.

[Pat]

No, they gonna love this one.

[Mike]

They probably.

[Pat]

They probably gonna feel this one.

[Mike]

All right. You ever go, boy.

[Pat]

Yo, welcome to Crash Podcast. What's good, yo? Chilling, man, chilling. Dope, dope, dope. All right, I got a question for you.

[Gene]

Yeah, yeah.

[Pat]

What's up? What's something you want to see less of? Stop laughing while I'm talking, bro. All right, I got you, man.

[Gene]

I'm just.

[Pat]

I'm just getting off a 12 hour

[Gene]

shift, so give me a sec.

[Mike]

Damn.

[Pat]

Where you work at?

[Gene]

All right, I work in film, so.

[Mike]

Yeah,

[Pat]

but okay, what I want to see less of, man.

[Gene]

Okay. You know, you know, have you ever seen those videos of guys?

[Pat]

They'll be on Tick Tock or like

[Gene]

reels and be like, yo, if your boyfriend don't do this, like he a

[Pat]

sucker or like, I don't know. Yeah, bro, so my brain fries,

[Gene]

dude.

[Pat]

You don't understand how tired I am, bro.

[Mike]

They know

[Pat]

with it, bro. I with it. Yeah, no, I'm just like tired, bro. I just work seven days a week.

[Mike]

Yeah. What you shoot today?

[Pat]

There's this.

[Gene]

Okay.

[Pat]

I actually can't say what it is, but we're on season three of it, so. Oh, is it known? Yeah, it's known.

[Gene]

It's on. It's on Apple Apple 2.

[Pat]

So wait, wait, wait, so you'd be

[Mike]

knowing all the little, like the.

[Pat]

So wait, so people don't know that it's a season three yet? Is that why you can't tell us what show it is?

[Gene]

Yeah, yeah, I can't. I can't. Like, legally, I can't say anything.

[Pat]

Got it. Yeah. We don't want you to lose your

[Mike]

job, so I'll ask it.

[Pat]

I want to know,

[Mike]

Since you shoot a film, do you like, know the ending of like some series? Like, as people are watching it it?

[Gene]

Sometimes, but like, I'm not like an actor or anything, so I'm not like always on set. But yeah, sometimes, like, I will know. Have you guys seen that show Devil in Ohio?

[Mike]

No.

[Pat]

No, but go ahead. Some people. Yeah, so I like, knew like all

[Gene]

the major scenes, so I pretty much a pa, so I'm like, you know, I do all the grimy work, but.

[Mike]

Yeah, man. So why do you hate the Tick Tock relationship gurus then?

[Gene]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, back on that. Yeah, man, I don't know. Like, sometimes I'll be like, chilling and then my girl get a Tick Tock and be like, yo, your boyfriend should get you flowers and steak like every.

[Pat]

Every, like the first day of your period.

[Gene]

Every single time.

[Pat]

Now I'm like looking at her like,

[Gene]

nah, that ain't happening.

[Pat]

No, that's crazy. Flowers and steak, that's once a month. Like a steak. Like 14 in flowers, like three. That's 17. No, I think I get it though.

[Gene]

No, it's not. It's not 14, man, that like 30 bucks. I mean, I get, like, rubbing her feet. I get, like, rubbing her feet, you know, like. Like doing all those things that, like, make her comfortable. But, like,

[Mike]

Go ahead, go ahead.

[Gene]

Oh, no, I mean, you know, like getting her like a. Like a heat pad or like, you

[Pat]

know, just like that stuff.

[Mike]

So does your girl expect the steak and the flowers or are you just projecting?

[Gene]

I wouldn't say she expects it, but she, like, gives me the side.

[Pat]

I'd be like, oh, you do that. I'm like, nah, it's not like I work seven days a week. I don't get. All right, what's the point of being in a relationship then if you can't get. Get your woman what she want?

[Gene]

I mean, I feel like for the most. Most of the time. Yeah, I'd say I'm terrible.

[Mike]

Terrible. All right, bro, go get some sleep, man.

[Gene]

All right. Thanks, man. Yeah, okay. Good one.

[Mike]

You too.

[Gene]

Yes.

[Mike]

Hello, boy.

[Pat]

Say yes. Hello.

[Mike]

As yo. Welcome to cr.

[Pat]

Such a crazy conversation. Never heard a say

[Gene]

hey. It's just.

[Pat]

It's being subtle, you know? No. All right. I got a question for you, bro.

[Gene]

What's up?

[Mike]

Pat?

[Pat]

Don't say that. What's your most painful realization about yourself? That I tend to over explain myself, and when I do, I throw myself into some really shitty situations I don't

[Mike]

know how to get out of.

[Pat]

Okay, explain. I'm looking down towards. Well, it just.

[Mike]

It's just.

[Pat]

It just happens. It's just like those. Those in the moments. And I've had breezes, and I've had moments where I just, like, my brain just kind of just wonders off and I start over explaining. And I've had my friends tell me like two to three times, like, hey, bro, you kind of over explain yourself. And you may let yourself read yourself.

[Gene]

Look down.

[Pat]

So, like, for example, at work, I'm a welder, so they kind of. Where I work at, they're kind of picky with the blueprints. And I've had like a couple of my friends that work with me. They're like, hey, man, you cannot over explain yourself. And you made yourself look dumb.

[Gene]

And. And it took me a while to

[Pat]

realize that because I'm really. How do you say? I hate being told. I hate being. I hate being corrected. I don't like to get wrong, but lot it gives me a ick. Yo, bro. Bro, what's up? You doing it again? You know what I see?

[Mike]

You see what I mean?

[Pat]

Yeah, bro. Annoying, bro. I see what they talking about.

[Mike]

You went for your friend. I kind of got a while. You went for your friend and then you told me you're a welder. We did ask you to explain your story, but, yeah, I can see where they might be coming from for sure.

[Gene]

Yeah. Yeah. I don't know.

[Pat]

I see, I see. I see a lot of people take it as a safe place and I don't know. And like, I've been listening to you guys for a really long time, so, like, man, why not just share like a random story about what happens damn near every day of my life? Yeah, man, we appreciate you, bro, for being vulnerable and letting the masses hear us.

[Gene]

This is probably a horrible story.

[Mike]

I kid you not.

[Gene]

I know this is a horrible story.

[Pat]

It's probably a shitty explanation.

[Mike]

But, man, I've, I've seen a lot

[Pat]

of your other callers and some of them are breaking.

[Mike]

Lost a couple brain cells in the process of life.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Mike]

What do you have to say to them, man? It's your platform, bro. Man, as a, as a fellow, as

[Pat]

a fellow human that loses brain cells too. Y' all need to step y' all game mode because, man, we make ourselves look bad.

[Mike]

What are you doing to step up?

[Pat]

I'm just trying to learn from, from, from other people and just, just, just try not to make the same mistakes, you know, I gotta take accountability. And like I said, a lot of the listeners don't seem to have that. What are you taking accountability for, bro? You name something you took accountability for. Oh, man. See what I mean? I got myself into a mess.

[Gene]

I think

[Mike]

they just be talking.

[Pat]

They gotta hold themselves accountable and don't even know if he's been held accountable for it. It's crazy.

[Mike]

All right, bro, you have a good one.

[Pat]

I apologize. I. I wish I would have given y' all more, but that was good.

[Mike]

That's good.

[Pat]

I'm a faithful listener, man.

[Gene]

I started off with. I started.

[Pat]

I'll tell you this. I'm like, I'm like, from, like. I started like episode 60 ish from, from the girl overdosing in fat.

[Mike]

Oh, damn.

[Pat]

Take. Take you a while to start them sentences, huh?

[Gene]

Yup.

[Pat]

My brain takes a minute to, to bro, bro. But hey, man, I appreciate. Like I said, big fans.

[Mike]

I be stuttering too

[Pat]

in the podcast.

[Mike]

All right, bro.

[Pat]

I stutter a lot, man.

[Gene]

That's.

[Mike]

That's another issue, man.

[Pat]

Hey, self diagnosed ADHD is what I. There you go, you see? Over explaining. All right, Joe Biden.

[Mike]

Girls would talk about another girl and then the moment you reply, well, maybe that's when they turn on you. Cause, you know, like, as guys, I feel like we always want to give people an out sometimes, especially when it's a girl. It's just like, you never want to be a me. Like, for me, I can't speak for every guy. Some guys might want to be like, yeah, fuck that bitch type of shit. But for me, sometimes, I always try to see the other side sometimes.

[Pat]

Yeah, that's how you get the instant side. Eye of judgment.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Trying to figure out whose side you're on. But I think it's because, like, the guys I know, like, y'.

[Gene]

All.

[Pat]

If. If y' all said something to me that I really didn't believe, and I know I had the information to change your mind, I would say that to you right then and there, and you might actually receive it. I know there's a chance you receive it.

[Mike]

Well, yeah.

[Pat]

Like, if Gene like, nah, that dude was mean mugging. He a bitch. Like, nah, bro, buddy, blind. I think, you know?

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Gene be like, oh, shit. Oh, that's fucked up. But, like, women be like, no, I know blind people. No, I. I've been around blind people before. They never stare like that.

[Mike]

I think some guys, especially the guys in relationship, the mistake they might make, though, is divulging too defensive, a Too much defense. Like. Like, you know this person, like, or you know this person that they might not know, you know?

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

You might still. He's like, oh, this person, she's a. Or something like that.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Like, nah, she. You know, she comes from a really good family or some shit like that. And, like, it's like, what?

[Pat]

Yeah, I feel like. I feel like as dudes, we can not like, somebody, and something can change that. Like, oh, I thought dude was this certain way, but he's not. Women are. I feel like obviously it's their intuition that they have. So, like, when you got two people that both have intuition and both of their intuitions say they don't like each other, they probably right.

[Mike]

Like, the thing about woman intuition be right. It's just sometimes I hate the way they get to though. Right.

[Gene]

Right.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

It's like, this is not the way this happened, but you. You reached the right endpoint. Yeah. Everything in the middle, they'd be right.

[Pat]

Like, yes, I did something wrong. They'd be coming to you be like, you another woman. It's like, I forgot to take out the trash. But you knew I did something wrong, so you was right about me doing something wrong. I go take out the trash. You gotta chill on the Fuck out of women. I can't do this for the rest of my life.

[Mike]

I saw a meme that guys would point out the smallest point in a.

[Pat]

In a.

[Mike]

When a girl's accusing them or something. Oh, yeah, bro. You'd be like, you that girl on Tuesday. And then guy would be like, it wasn't even Tuesday, it was Monday.

[Pat]

No, they wasn't saying like that. There be something slick like, I was with you Tuesday. You still fucked her. You that girl on Tuesday in my house.

[Mike]

Yeah, like how I a girl on Tuesday when I was with you the. All day.

[Pat]

You the girl on Monday. Okay, okay. You say that, but you was wrong before, so you could be wrong again. It could be gas. It be up when they. Women be falling for that. You ever see your boy do some shit? I had one of my friends do something so bad and his. His wife caught him and the next day everything was good. What did this say,

[Mike]

bro? Dudes are telling me, like the stories dudes are telling me I'll be ready to hate. Like, I'll be hating.

[Pat]

And you believe that you cost him in bed?

[Mike]

Yeah, dude.

[Pat]

You believe the taekwondo for real?

[Mike]

She really, like, I've heard dudes told me, like, no, she. I told her that was my massage therapist.

[Pat]

I was like, what? Don't believe that. No. That is crazy though. Like, dude, I hate when people do that, though. I know. If I'm arguing with you. I think I talked about it last week. If I'm arguing with you about something that's like, hurting my feelings or is getting under my skin and you use anything with any technicalities, I'm not with the conversation.

[Mike]

What?

[Pat]

Like what? Okay, if I tell you, like, last. Last Tuesday when we was at dinner, before the waitress brought us our food, you said something rude and you knew you said something rude and you know that's what I'm talking about. I'm about. I'm talking about you doing something rude. Right, Right. And the person goes, no, that was. We didn't even talk before the waitress was there. And then the time changes of like, oh, we did that. It was after dinner. But you knew what I was talking about.

[Mike]

Still did the.

[Pat]

But you arguing about a technicality, like something that I messed up in the story and you made me take longer to get to my point and now, like, don't have the energy or the mind space. You make me forget what I was going to say.

[Mike]

That's the part that hit. Is when they. Yeah, when they get technical, you forget what you were going to.

[Pat]

Yeah, that's because like, people try to like, add those details to like, make it more like, emotional. Yeah. I really take you into that setup. The candle was late. Like, actually the candle was off until you forget what I was arguing about. You know, I got adhd. I'll be back though. I'm mad as hell. I'm about to go figure out why

[Mike]

that's why I would never want to be like, high and argue. Because sometimes you get to a point where you start arguing and you forgot where you started. So you just gotta keep talking and talking it until you remember where you. Now you start saying some.

[Pat]

Yeah, I don't. I like, that's why I don't do weed in bad situations and do weed. Yeah. At least I didn't say drugs. Come on now.

[Mike]

Do weed.

[Pat]

Drugs. But drugs. Drugs is multiple though.

[Mike]

Do you do it?

[Pat]

It did sound cooler though. I ain't lie.

[Mike]

Yeah, drugs. Hey, it perk.

[Pat]

Perk me up. Say the other one.

[Mike]

Ecstasy.

[Pat]

Yeah,

[Mike]

that's crazy.

[Pat]

I don't got that one. I don't do weed. I don't do the Mary Jane. But I don't do that. Like when I'm. No, I want to be in an argument or something like that. Because if I'm high, I don't give a. I pack my bags right now and move a thousand miles away from here and then sober up and my ego be so big, like, yeah, I can't go back. It is what it is. My Pat said what high Pat had to say, man.

[Mike]

Yeah, in my past relationships when there was arguments and there was any. I don't really drink to. I don't get like drunk, like, I don't like drink that much. I might have one drink.

[Pat]

Haram.

[Mike]

I might have one drink. But like, if you're in like past relationships and stuff like that and alcohol is involved, I leave the argument there. Like, I just say, no, you right this and that. Because I know the next day I'm already saving everything. I'm like, yeah, this is where all the apologies happen the next day. And like that.

[Pat]

You got that drinking stuff. Like when someone's high, you can kind of still talk to them. It's somewhere in there. But like, when people drinking, man, I didn't see some people do some nasty things. Like, crazy like, bro, no way. And some people, like, they do such like, crazy shit that you would never look at them the same no matter if they was drunk or not. You ever heard somebody say some wild when they was drunk or do some wild shit? And no matter how good of A person they were since that moment. That's the only moment you can think of like you like man. Nah bro. You kiss that in the back of his head. Okay, there's a clip.

[Mike]

There's a clip from the Shannon Sharp podcast with Pierce and it was about dating a five versus a pretty ten woman. Oh, but you told us that look

[Pat]

a hard working man this uncomfortable by the way.

[Mike]

This is very uncomfortable.

[Pat]

Pretty girls alone get you a five,

[Mike]

get you a solid six.

[Pat]

Keep it real.

[Mike]

Get you a five solid six.

[Pat]

Get somebody that's humble.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Mike]

That don't require all this.

[Pat]

Got 9, 10.

[Mike]

That's a lot of maintenance.

[Pat]

That's a lot of lucky and see and I, and I always have to go back. I'm not gonna tell her she a five or six.

[Mike]

Right. Like we all know I'm gonna let

[Gene]

her give her a nine.

[Mike]

It's a very uncommon sense. But there was another one with another clip too. He was talking about like marriage is for broke or, or old people in a sense too. Even those type of conversations. Like I get what he's trying to say. He's trying to say like don't go after those girls. That might seem more materialistic.

[Pat]

But he's also saying that marriage is a business also.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Like usually in America with your salaries that you have, it's better to be with someone. So if you know the cap on your life that you're ever gonna make is 90k a year. Year, it's best you find somebody else that's making 90k a year so you can achieve some things that you want to achieve. And you're basically saying if you rich, you don't need that. Which is dumb because who the listening to you right now? It's people that make 90k.

[Mike]

The whole like rating system too to me is a little, I don't know, it can be a little cringe in a sense.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Because they talk from a perspective of. Of famous athlete. So like they're saying stay away from the tens, the girls that deem tens and stuff like that.

[Pat]

Right.

[Mike]

And it's still very your perspective of what is a 10 to you. And like there's other things that make people. I don't even like rating people because that's just weird. It doesn't make any sense. But there's certain. Obviously there's more to a girl's look that makes them their quote unquote rating go up in a sense.

[Pat]

Yeah. The rating only matters to people that you can't obtain.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

So it's dumb. It's a made up thing because if you sit here and be like yeah, yeah Pat, look at this girl, she like an eight and a half. But if that same dude took that girl out and they started dating, what is she now? Yeah, I bet you she attend right? So she was never eight and a half to you. She was only eight and a half. Because you were trying to compare on this scale to all the girls in the world. But what about the girls that you can get my. So I think that's a 10 if you call in there. You know what I mean? It's like you know what I'm saying? Because what are you on the scale

[Mike]

that it's it man.

[Pat]

But you gotta ask yourself because it's, it's a lot of racist women out here that would say us three is the zeros. You know what I mean? Like so our, is that our scale? It's about the person that's in front of you. So then technically there's no scale because it's like what's it just between an eight and a half and a ten and somebody, somebody be like yeah, I don't, I don't date eight and a half.

[Mike]

Yeah but from my perspective too, it's like those don't date a girl based on just looks because to me there's. When it's a pretty girl and the pretty girl is just like they all look are pretty. Right. You know there's not like this one looks better than the other one. The only thing that makes anything better. Why are you laughing?

[Pat]

Don't leave me alone.

[Mike]

The only thing that can make things better is the way they act. Cuz I've seen girls that like beautiful as hell, right. And then they'll say something and it's like eh. That kind of brought the quote unquote rating down. You know what I mean? They're not, they don't look. No, it's just a different perspective.

[Pat]

But you backed right and no, I

[Mike]

get what you said. I'm only using rating for this. This conversation.

[Pat]

Yes, right.

[Mike]

Cuz it in my head I'm not thinking oh she's a 10, she just went down to 8.

[Pat]

But that's what I'm saying.

[Mike]

She went down a level in my

[Pat]

head we're both saying the same thing. If the scale can move then it doesn't really exist because it's like okay if your girlfriend's eight and a half or I mean she at 10 now. And then the same thing you just said if it moves like oh if you find out out she was a 10 before. And then you find out she make super dark humor jokes. Okay? Like, what is she now? You know what I'm saying? Are you gonna take those jokes home? You know, is she still a 10? That fake bro, do you think you can lose interest?

[Mike]

Somebody can. Look, I was saying you're in a relationship, and you know how some people lose the love in a relationship? Do you think that love is ever just. Just physical attractiveness to somebody? Like, somebody can lose that? I don't think you're as beautiful as when we started dating.

[Pat]

I don't think it's just. I don't think it would be just that.

[Mike]

You think? Okay, I just. I was wondering.

[Pat]

I feel like. I feel like that's complicated. I feel like love. I feel like you never know until the person finds out. Right. Everybody thinks that's why the divorce rate is so high. Because some people have. Have like perfect timing. They meet their wife or husband at a perfect time. They both get their first jobs at the same time. They both want to have a kid at the same time. But what happened when somebody go through a little bit adversity would, you know, you're going to run into, like, people, older people gonna die in your family. You're gonna gain a little weight, have to lose it back and stuff like that.

[Mike]

Physically look older.

[Pat]

Yeah. So it's like, what are you gonna do with adversity? And like, I feel like some people's love, love depends on how they deal with adversity. Because it's like, okay, your wife had a kid and she's recovering and it took her a year and a half, two years to get off the weight, but you start cheating a year in because you couldn't hold it no more. You're like, oh, you don't look the same. I'm about to go do with some other girl. That means, like, you ain't really love her that hard, bro. So I don't know, like, what is real love, bro? Come on, bro.

[Mike]

Do you say that people, the people that, like, survive. Are there people out there that post

[Pat]

on Tick Tock real quick, Are there

[Mike]

some people that don't have, like, the adversity in their life? And it's like, they only love this person because they haven't experienced that adversity?

[Pat]

Yes.

[Mike]

And do you. So do you think that people just get lucky in life and, like, I don't have that adversity. I've never been put in a. In a situation that made me pick between cheating on my wife and stuff like that.

[Pat]

Or the thing that. Or the thing that would make them fall out of love just never happens.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Right. So it's a lot of people that love. They think they love unconditionally, but the thing that they would stop loving for is just unlikely to happen. Right, this. Listen, this wife loves her husband through everything. Through his weight journey, he gained some weight. He got gray hair. He stopped working out as much. He loved him through everything. But he get both legs amputated, and she like, I really like calf muscles. I really love. I love Joe Calf. That ain't that not there no more. You know what I mean? Your quads is like Vienna sausages. I just can't.

[Mike]

If you see one of your best friend's girl cheating in public and you happen to bump into them, what is your first thing that you're doing?

[Pat]

I think I'm gonna get a little video evidence. Oh, I bumped into them.

[Mike]

Yeah, you bumped into them.

[Pat]

I'm getting video evidence. I'm pulling out my phone. Hey, nice to see y' all here at Cafe Hollander. Sitting here having some soup.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

In hibiscus.

[Mike]

So do you. Because I always hear this conversation is like, you better tell him before I tell, or I'll give you. I'm gonna give you the opportunity to tell him before I. Dude, n that crazy.

[Pat]

I'm not saying nothing. There's no words that needs to be had. Matter of fact, buy me a drink. Yeah, I might blackmail a little bit.

[Mike]

A little bit.

[Pat]

Yeah. I need 10,000.

[Mike]

I think it's always a. It's an awkward thing because I. For me, I think I would just not say anything. I just keep walking.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

And then eventually tell or tell my friend, like, hey, I just saw your girl. Black Light Mike.

[Pat]

It depends. And it also depends on, like, I don't want to be wrong, but I'm definitely going to give them hints. Be like, bro, tell me this. I'm just being real. If my girl was with another dude at a restaurant, I couldn't fuck with that. Would you fuck with that?

[Mike]

Because I guess it makes a difference of how you catch them. So if you see your friend's girl with any dude in public, are you telling your friend, hey, I saw your girl with a random dude that you probably don't know?

[Pat]

Yes. And I'm telling him immediately because he needs to go through his own process. And I hope his process is something similar to what I would do.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Pat]

Is once you get the information, now you get to read the person's every single move before they tell you. So If I happen to saw the hypothetical girl, you know, this situation, and I saw your girl out and with another guy, I would give you that information right away. Like, yo, I just saw your girl with another guy, hoping you just, you know, be calm and not just call your girl and be like, where you at right now?

[Mike]

That's the thing about people. I hate that shit. There's some people you give the like, like, dramatic news to and say, hey, you need to slow play this. This news, right? Don't. Don't act on it yet. But I'm going to tell you this so you can now play it smart.

[Pat]

One time, I literally told a dude some information about a girl trying to put him on, like, yo, be careful, blah, blah. And within 24 hours, that girl confronted me about it. I was like, what the. What the. How does that happen, bro? Didn't I just tell you? Don't like you post a BP with the information. Like, yeah, kind of like playing in a way that not to get back. I get what people want to, like, confront, but there's a different way to bring it up. You can almost make it seem like you found it out naturally. Yeah, but that's what I would hope you would do. You would, you know, ask your girl, like, hey, what you doing right now? First thing you should do is call a person. Call your girl. Like, right? So I know my girl's phone is available. She's just out at dinner with some dude, right? She should be able to see my call and pick up the phone. Yeah, right. So you should call Bam. Okay. I ain't getting no answer back, so she must be too busy to even call me, right? And then I'm going to call her on the way home. While she's on the way home, she's probably going to call me back. Oh, what were you up to now? I got to see if you lied about your whereabouts.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

You know, and let's say I went to a restaurant with a friend. Now I got to dive into who the friend is, you know, at some point. Basically, you just keep questioning a partner until you run into a lie that you know, know is definitely a lie. Right. You're not telling the truth because once

[Mike]

you crash out, you kind of give them leeway to say some random things because you got to make them say all facts, like, without feeling that pressure, because you got to say the person they're with, a friend, this and that. Because you say, who the was that dude? You were there, and you'd be like, oh, that was my cousin, or Something, you know, something random that they can lie about.

[Pat]

Bro, people are so stupid with interrogate. You're literally to. Some people tell the other person what they know already, and that's the biggest mistake you make. Made. I always got this scenario, right. There's two different type of people in life, right? When it comes to their significant other stepping out on them, cheating on them or whatever, some people want the full experience so they can be done.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Some people don't even want it to happen. They would stop it happen. So this is a scenario, right? You're walking in a hotel and down this long hallway, you see your significant other walking with somebody else.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Pat]

They are about to walk into a hotel room together. They're not holding hands, they're not staring at each other. They're just about to walk into a hotel room together. There's two different type of people.

[Mike]

Yeah, right?

[Pat]

There's those type of people that just go, hey, hey. Where the. What the fuck are you doing? Now those two people can turn around and you'll never know the truth and just be like, I was showing her how my door works, bro. Bro, chill. Yeah, because she's locked out of y' all room now. You'll never know. Like, yeah, I never know. Like, damn. But there's other people who wait until they walk into the room and go put their ear on the door, listen, wait till they hear something, and break it down and kill them both.

[Mike]

So it's like, you know, it's two different types of people. Oh, my God. I would have so many questions. Hey, bro, I saw your girl at a hotel, and she was the dude. I'm like, oh, you saw that? He said, nah, I just heard it.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

How'd you hear them?

[Pat]

Actually, bro, I didn't even have to put my ear on the door. Like, I was actually on my way to call you, and I still heard it from the elevator. I'm pretty sure they still doing it, bro. Like an hour ago.

[Mike]

Yeah, it's like, she definitely helped him

[Pat]

put it back in, bro. Man, it's crazy.

[Mike]

I feel like it's like those scary movies sometimes, too, when people hear, like, the loud. Are you like the. You hear the loud noise and then you. You go downstairs and check on it? Or like in the scary movie, I guess, for more of a sense of, like, they see they're in the woods, you hear screaming. They then go into the forest to see, hey, who's getting stabbed and screaming.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Pat]

I think them two different situations.

[Mike]

Yeah. Your house is like, yeah, if I'm

[Pat]

Already walking taken along the path and to my left or right is some distant noise and then I'm gonna keep along my path. Yeah, I really don't give a what's going on.

[Mike]

I could call and be like hey, call the cops or some calling.

[Pat]

They might intercept the call like getting you next.

[Mike]

I'll get home first. Yeah, okay, I'll call, I'll call. I'll call the cops and say hey, I heard some screaming in such and force. But I'm not going.

[Pat]

If it's like. If it's like a woman screaming. Yeah, it's different. If it's a dude screaming, ain't nothing I can do.

[Mike]

But no, I wouldn't know though after to I would call the cops right away. But I don't think I'm gonna go play Superman inside the forest.

[Pat]

But the, but the house thing though.

[Mike]

Yeah, the house is. Yeah. Different. That was a bad example.

[Pat]

Yeah the house thing. I gotta go check it right away. I. I just recently had somebody walk into my apartment while I was sleep. They. I signed my lease late for my apartment. I renewed my lease late cuz I thought I was gonna move somewhere else and. And I guess they never notify the cleaning carpet people. And they walked into my place like full like in my place and I popped up.

[Mike]

They was about to be Swiss cheese man.

[Pat]

They saw that morning wood and they got a block of them. Oh my God.

[Mike]

I walked into somebody's. I don't know if I told this story in the pod, but I walked into somebody's apartment twice. And the way it was. Cause I was on my phone phone. This is why you should never just pay attention when you're walking. I'm on my phone. You know, you just kind of have muscle memory of where your apartment is down on the hallway. I might have misjudged. I have two elevators where I can go to and I think I forgot which car we parked or something like that. I was walking and I walk into the the apartment. I look around, I said holy, this is not my part. I closed the door and I run down the stairs super quick.

[Pat]

But that's. That that's more. That's more innocent. I'd rather do do that. My dumb ass did it in the same building I was in. I just must have hit level blah blah blah instead of blah blah blah. But I must have hit that. And when I got to their door, I was already having kind of a bad day.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

So I was like man, what the.

[Mike]

And I was oh, you didn't go in though.

[Pat]

No, but it was just the fact that I was trying to break in so bad that I'm like, it gotta be my key. So I'm like, so really so even. Like, yours is just like, oh, shit, why are you in my house? Like, oh, my God. I swear to God, I thought this is my apartment. I'm tripping. Mine is like, I'm over here.

[Mike]

Like.

[Pat]

And then if I go, oh, I thought this is my apartment, it's like, bro, then why you twisted the key like that?

[Mike]

And then the second time at that

[Pat]

point, you got to go through with it. Yeah, I'm about to rob your ass.

[Mike]

And then I walked into the guy's apartment again and I heard his dog barking.

[Pat]

Oh, it was a dude.

[Mike]

Yeah. And he was like. All I heard was like, like, who's that? And I just close the door.

[Pat]

I ran so fast, bro.

[Mike]

I have that has to like with you, though.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Okay. This is the first one. His door was unlocked for no reason. That's why. That's what made it worse.

[Pat]

No, you can't say that.

[Mike]

Yeah, it was unlocked.

[Pat]

I know, but like, he can't have his door unlocked.

[Mike]

No.

[Pat]

In the apartment without some big ass black dude barging through, like, God forbid. Have faith in humanity. Tweet of the week. T. Pain said 200 women in the spot. Ain't none of them hot. I'm crying. Where the he was at?

[Mike]

200 unattractive woman.

[Pat]

That's kind of crazy, bro. You're a little picky, bro. That's a little worse. Like, my.

[Mike]

I don't think you can be in a room.

[Pat]

Hey, listen, if my friend came back and told me it was 200 women there and none of them attractive, I'm gonna start looking at them like,

[Mike]

sure.

[Pat]

You sure you would even pick one if it was 500?

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Oh, man.

[Mike]

That's how some people feel about their colleges, though. I've heard people say, like, oh, there's. There's not that many. There's no good looking girls on our. On our college campus.

[Pat]

But they're lying. That means, like, I mean, we. I'm not gonna say we could say that. But like, if you go to a smaller college, usually the best looking women are gonna have boyfriends. They're gonna be in relationships. So you're probably looking at, you know, what's left. And if you left, then guess what?

[Mike]

That's what I think people don't realize too.

[Pat]

Nigga, you single too. All right, all right. Black aunties, get on Facebook and say anything. This is in quotes Love that picture. Stomach getting big. Uncle Rob died in his sleep. Call me. No, for real.

[Mike]

No. They've been trying to have full conversation in the comments.

[Pat]

Yes.

[Mike]

I hate when people do that. It's just like, oh, how you been? And they good. I haven't seen you since this and that. Like. Like, at some point, like, this has to go to the DMs.

[Pat]

That's how it used to be, though. I think that's how MySpace used to be.

[Mike]

I think, especially back then, like, DMs weren't really like, a. People did kind of communicate through comments. Damn. There was no really direct message.

[Pat]

It was all out and over. Yeah, it was. It was like, you. You. You always catch two people flirting and shit. Okay, let's have sex then. Hey, hey. You know, we can see y'.

[Gene]

All.

[Pat]

Okay. The tweet says acknowledging someone. Acknowledging someone as handsome slash beautiful doesn't mean you're interested in them. And somebody quoted the tweet and said, if you're not interested in me, I don't care that you find me handsome. Keep it to yourself. Like, really real. Real for me. But that's not everybody. Like, I've seen what I love. I love when women do this, right? A woman to see another woman on a date and go up to that woman in front of everybody and say, you look so good today. Like, it's just like that woman empowerment. Dudes do it, too. Like, we act like we know each other and shit. Like, yo, yo, yo, what up? But, like, as far as if it's not something like. Like, in that nature from, like, an auntie or your mom or something like that. Like, I don't want no random person just saying, I'm so handsome. And, like, the I'm supposed to do if it's random.

[Mike]

I feel like if it's a friend and stuff like that, that's a friend, that's fine. Handsome. But, like, if the. Their friend says, oh, you look good in that. That outfit that you got on.

[Pat]

Yeah, I don't need.

[Mike]

No.

[Pat]

I don't need a compliment from a stranger.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Pat]

That's just me, though. But that's not everybody. Some people that make their day that still make me walk different. I ain't gonna lie. Oh, it's a bad. I was walking.

[Gene]

I was.

[Pat]

Wore my cowboy boots, I think, for the first time. And I was walking, like, down the street to get some coffee or something, wearing, like, some vintage tea, you know. It was a good fit.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

I think I posted on my.

[Mike]

I appreciate people complimenting fits.

[Pat]

In passing is fine. I'm saying, like, my idea was through dms. Yeah. Don't DM me. Like, with the hard eyes and. And I click on your page and it's your husband and kids like, yo, what the going on? My husband said you look good too. I'm good over that. You guys are. Oh, no, I gotta go to this. A D. Hutch special right here.

[Mike]

That'd be crazy. If you found out that Pat used to be someone's. Is it. If you're the one. Somebody's wife, does that make you. What are. What's the title for the person? Because the couple are cucks. Right?

[Pat]

And it's cuck whole. Right. Is that the.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah.

[Pat]

I don't know.

[Mike]

Is that person a cuck too, though?

[Pat]

This crazy question.

[Mike]

I'm just saying, though, why does cuck does sound like a curse word.

[Pat]

It is.

[Mike]

It's kind of like a strong. It's a strong word that I'm like, if it just feels like you shouldn't be saying it.

[Pat]

He got serious to say, why don't they get so serious?

[Mike]

It just feels like shouldn't be saying it. I'm just. I'm actually just trying to feel white noise so you can get to the.

[Pat]

Oh, damn, that was racist.

[Mike]

What? White noise.

[Pat]

Yeah, that's racist.

[Mike]

Is that racist?

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Yeah, so be it.

[Pat]

I wonder how I got called white noise. I know. Oppression was silent. No, I'm kidding. You ever lay your head on your girl. Stomach.

[Gene]

Stomach.

[Pat]

And heard the dookuy said dookie. You ever lay your head on your girl's stomach and heard the dookie boil in it?

[Mike]

I saw. I saw a meme like that. Like, why anytime you put your. Your head on your girl's stomach, it starts rumbling.

[Pat]

She'd be hungry as hell. That's the only time you put your head on a girl's stomach when you broke. Ah, baby, baby, baby. You cook ramen again? He's tired of it.

[Mike]

Ate ramen in a minute.

[Pat]

All right, I'm good, bro.

[Mike]

That was it. Yeah. All right. Anyway, that has been Crash Dummies. We're gonna be in LA by the time you guys are listening to this.

[Pat]

Yeah, man.

[Mike]

Yeah. It's been Crash Dummies, episode 229. Yeah, make sure you guys subscribe into the Patreon. Follow us on our personal pages as well. Live show, boxing match, Halloween party from Milwaukee.

[Gene]

Lincoln bio. My bio.

[Mike]

Yeah, Lincoln. A Jean's bio.

[Pat]

So, yeah, follow me on Twitch. Follow us on Twitch.

[Mike]

Yeah, everything is in the description somewhere.

[Pat]

Come on. Last thing. Listen here, busters. Some of y' all on our dick about the Hassan. We don't give a like. Listen, bro, like, all that threat unsubscribe. Yeah, all that threat the unsubscribe ass. Do it like, matter of fact, push your button right now. If I'm hurting your feelings, I really don't give a bro. Like, to be honest. Like, that's like, bro, y' all gotta be. That's how I know y' all don't stick up for y' all friends, bro. I know y' all ain't got no spying. Somebody will talk about your mama. And if they right, you let it ride this ass, man. Soft as.

[Mike]

Yeah, I rather go down being wrong.

[Pat]

Yeah. If some. If for some reason we. We get duped and shit, like,

[Gene]

I

[Pat]

might make a video with 10 dogs in the background.