Kool Kidz Kennel - Episode 244

Summary

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Crash Dummies Podcast | "Kool Kidz Kennel" (Ep. 244)

Release Date: February 4, 2026
Hosts: Patrick Johnson ("Pat") & Michael Esiobu ("Mike")
Theme:
A lively exploration of social scenarios, personal growth, pop culture debates, and chaos from listener call-ins—with Pat and Mike’s signature humor and candid banter.

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Main Theme & Purpose

In "Kool Kidz Kennel," Pat and Mike riff on everyday social mishaps—forgetting names, selective hearing, wild friend group dynamics, and how personalities evolve (or unravel) when money or drama enters the equation. The hosts mix in relationship hypotheticals, listener calls, and culture debates, all while promoting their upcoming tour and teasing community inside jokes.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Selective Hearing & Remembering Names

[00:00–04:00]

• Pat intros with a humorous struggle about his selective hearing, especially around remembering men’s names versus women’s.
  • "What were you thinking about that you didn't retain his name? Pat, what were you doing?" (Pat, 00:38)
• Discussion on gendered memory recall: easier to recall women's names due to social attention, harder with men.
• Light anecdotes about awkwardness when forgetting names in social settings.

Memorable Quote:

"Sometimes you're scared to engage back with that person cuz you don't know their name. Like, damn. In this situation, to get his attention, I have to call his name." —Pat, [01:14]

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2. Friend Dynamics & Obligations

[02:15–04:00]

• Mike jokes that Pat always goes along with plans, even if he has no idea who made them.
• They tease each other for being “good friends” (willing to go to random events or say yes on each other’s behalf).
• Brief tour announcements and instructions to fans: DM them only if you have proof, i.e., a ticket.

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3. Pop Culture Debate: Bow Wow vs. Nick Cannon (Movie Careers)

[05:11–09:36]

• Prompt: Who has better movies, Nick Cannon or Bow Wow?
  • Listing Bow Wow films ("Like Mike," "Roll Bounce," "Lottery Ticket") vs. Nick Cannon's ("Love Don’t Cost a Thing," "Drumline").
• Spirited debate:
  • Pat says “Drumline” beats "Like Mike."
  • Mike defends "Like Mike" as a legendary, inspirational kids’ movie.
• Tangent into iconic kids’ sports and musical movies, roasting old choreography, and noticing actors vs. real athletes in film.

Memorable Quotes:

• "Drumline is a masterpiece. It show you, like, fake it till you make it." —Pat, [07:27]
• "Like Mike as a kid... gave you hope that you can do greater things in life." —Mike, [07:49]

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4. Dating Shows & TV Nostalgia

[10:00–11:13]

• Remembering wild old TV concepts, like MTV’s “Date My Mom,” and pondering why gender politics made some ideas too problematic for reversal.
• Jokes about scenarios where dating shows could get awkward or inappropriate.

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5. Money & Personality: Does Wealth Change or Reveal You?

[11:13–13:40]

• Scenario: If you suddenly received a billion dollars, would you change, or would your true self emerge?
  • Mike: Believes it would change him—he’d cut off acquaintances, avoid trouble.
  • Pat: Would become exclusive, only talking to five people; imagines petty billionaire revenge.
  • Both discuss how money often exposes or enables extremes—referencing news stories and infamous bad rich-person behavior.

Memorable Quotes:

• "My contact list going down to five. I only talk to five people. Why the am I talking to you?" —Pat, [12:05]
• "Do you think being broke saves a lot of people from doing, like, saves a lot of people's lives?" —Mike, [12:50]

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6. Emotional Maturity vs. Laziness: Nonchalance in Relationships

[14:00–18:00]

• Question: Is being nonchalant emotionally mature, or just lazy?
  • They dissect how detachment can be weaponized in relationships, flipping therapy advice into pettiness.
  • Pat: Nonchalance can be used to antagonize while staying technically calm; sneaky ways of “winning” arguments.
• Gender and racial double standards about emotional responses (“Calm down!”).

Memorable Quote:

• "Being nonchalant...it's almost a way...I'm gonna piss you off in a way that if you call me out, I could flip it on you and make you look crazy." —Pat, [15:48]

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7. Listener Call-ins: Wild Opinions & True Confessions (Highlights)

[38:00–59:56 & selective key calls before/after]

• Cheating for Karma

  • Caller claims if someone has cheated (even in the past), he'll cheat for “karmic balance.”
    • "These women be believing in crystals in the moon. They got to start believing in karma. That’s me, dog." —Caller, [19:57]

• Double Standards & Pandering

  • Debating if Pat “panders” to women or attempts to balance toxic narratives.
  • Discussion on how public takes fuel the wrong audiences online.

• Kool Kids Kennel

  • Hilarious bit about a caller who named his dog kennel "Kool Kids Kennel" (with three Ks, sparking KKK jokes).
    • "I'm really just trying to change, like, the whole meaning behind KKK for me, personally." —Caller, [29:50]

• Fat vs. Fit Life

  • Caller argues it's better to be fat (more fun, less worry); hosts push back on health consequences.
    • "Well, like, I'm enjoying it more. When I was fit, I was doing things to stay fit...Now I just be in the crib, playing 2K." —Caller, [32:55]
    • Pat: "You literally admitting it right now. I feel like you crying out for help." [35:07]

• Unfiltered Hot Takes

  • Examples:
    • "All men are gay besides me" (says caller, spurred by wife’s friend’s suspicions), [43:14]
    • "You shouldn't use condoms... might as well get burned a little bit" (caller, [50:04]; Pat/Mike strongly rebuke).

• Cheating, Deception & Revenge Stories

  • A caller describes elaborate revenge after a fiancé's infidelity, including sending a sex tape to a rival’s girlfriend.
    • "I find out while he's on this boys trip on his birthday that he's out there to meet a girl...So the next day, I'm like, OK, I'm about to do his ass in." —Caller, [52:11–55:59]

• Sneaky Links & Lying

  • Caller laments "sneaky links" who can't lie believably in casual relationships [38:08–41:43].

Caller Quotes:

• "If you ever tell me you cheated on somebody in the past and we together, I'm not gonna lie, I'm cheating on you in the future." —Caller, [19:44]
• "You shouldn't use condoms...I use a condom and got burnt anyways." —Caller, [50:04]
• "I'm really just trying to change, like, the whole meaning behind KKK for me, personally." —Caller, [29:50]

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8. Quickfire Unpopular Opinions & Dilemmas

[69:39–84:09]

• Callers pitch hot takes, e.g.:
  • "Tate McRae should consider marrying me"—Caller pitches himself, struggles to list concrete qualities or plan a date tailored to her [69:52].
  • "If you overhear someone telling a lie about you that actually benefits you... do you correct it or let it rock?”
    • Both Pat and Mike agree it depends on if the lie helps too much and could backfire later (houses, money, etc.).

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9. Pat & Mike Personal Stories: Parenting, Childhood, and Adulthood Lessons

[88:00–102:03]

• Reflection on what parts of their personalities grew from family trauma or learned habits.
  • Mike: Dad’s import/export business trips, learning to observe.
  • Pat: Dad’s habit for quickly cutting people off influences his own ability to move on from relationships.
• Stories of trying to sneak out, ask permission, or trick parents to get extra freedom.
• Realizations about parenting—how they'll likely repeat some of these cycles.

Memorable Quotes:

• "My dad used to cut people off quick as hell... some auntie I called for two years straight, and then I don’t see her for 10 years." —Pat, [89:29]
• "There's never been a time where I was right...[parents] manipulate just like, 'You know you go ask your mom this.'" —Pat, [95:41]

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10. Adulting Realities: Money & Emergencies

[97:53–102:15]

• Discussing the myth of “money that appears out of nowhere” in college vs. adulthood; budgeting for emergencies.
  • "When you grow up, if you don't budget, like, damn, I'm 50 short for rent..." —Pat, [97:59]
• The majority of Americans struggle with unexpected expenses.
• The pressure of being relied upon within a family, especially with many relatives or limited resources.

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11. Podcast Wrap-Up & Tour Announcements

[102:15–End]

• Invites for fans to engage, buy merch, upcoming live tour dates.
• Light banter about which cities are “niche stops,” teasing regional pride.
• Friendly competitive banter about families, hustlers, and being scammed by relatives.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote | |:-------------:|:----------:|:----------| | [00:38] | Pat | "What were you thinking about that you didn't retain his name? Pat, what were you doing?" | | [07:27] | Pat | "Drumline is a masterpiece. It show you, like, fake it till you make it." | | [12:05] | Pat | "My contact list going down to five. I only talk to five people. Why the am I talking to you?" | | [15:48] | Pat | "Being nonchalant...it's almost a way...I'm gonna piss you off in a way that if you call me out, I could flip it on you and make you look crazy." | | [19:57] | Caller | "These women be believing in crystals in the moon. They got to start believing in karma. That’s me, dog." | | [29:50] | Caller | "I'm really just trying to change, like, the whole meaning behind KKK for me, personally." | | [35:07] | Pat | "You literally admitting it right now. I feel like you crying out for help." | | [50:04] | Caller | "You shouldn't use condoms... might as well get burned a little bit." | | [52:11] | Caller | "I find out while he's on this boys trip on his birthday that he's out there to meet a girl...So the next day, I'm like, OK, I'm about to do his ass in." | | [89:29] | Pat | "My dad used to cut people off quick as hell... some auntie I called for two years straight, and then I don’t see her for 10 years." |

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Important Segment Timestamps

• Selective Hearing & Name Memory: [00:00–04:00]
• Bow Wow vs. Nick Cannon (Movies): [05:11–09:36]
• Money & Character Discussion: [11:13–13:40]
• Nonchalance: Maturity or Laziness? [14:00–18:00]
• Wild Caller Opinions (Cheating, Karma, KKK Kennel): [19:44–36:16]
• Fat vs. Fit Caller Debate: [31:56–36:44]
• Cheating Revenge Story: [52:02–59:54]
• Personal Growth: Trauma Lessons: [88:00–92:10]
• Adult Money Realities: [97:53–102:15]
• Tour Plans & Closing: [102:15–End]

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Tone & Language

The tone is energetic, brash, and honest—with plenty of sharp, clever asides. Pat and Mike banter naturally, engaging with callers in a way that's supportive, but not shy about poking fun or challenging odd logic. The podcast thrives on its combination of humor, relatability, and candid storytelling.

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For new listeners:
This episode exemplifies Crash Dummies’ balance of raw humor, insightful life observations, and wild call-in characters. Whether you’re here for hot takes, nostalgia, or hilarious debates, the mix of formats keeps things lively and unpredictable.

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Transcript

[Pat]

I'm dealing with something right now. I'm fighting a battle of the, the battle of like me battling against my selective hearing. Like I have really bad selective hearing and it sucks because I'm kind of sexist. Like with women, most of the time I give them all my attention when

[Mike]

they tell me, okay, you have some self reflection.

[Pat]

I remember that. Okay, but with dudes, it's like they tell me their name and when I walk away from them I'm like, what was a name? But then I have to question myself. What were you thinking about that you didn't retain his name? Pat, what were you doing? And it's the thought that goes in my head when I meet like a new dude. And I'm like, man, I will really beat the shit out this. So you started imagining like, what if he say fuck your name? Well, like what would I do? You know? You think in the scenario it's like I should stab this and then play. But then it's just me messed up. And. And I realized that just being on this trip, I've been more attentive about names and when I meet people, yeah, what's your name? Because it's been two times where I walked away and I was like, damn, what is his name? And sometimes you're scared to engage back with that person cuz you don't know their name. Like, damn. In this situation, to get his attention, I have to call his name. There's too many people to play. No, no, no. Hey, hey, him. What's your name? Mark. Oh, Derek, my phone.

[Mike]

So is bro. Yeah, I feel like with women's harder to like when you forget their name because it's like you can't use the what up bro? You know, like that type of thing.

[Pat]

Have you ever got stumped by a woman that did that?

[Mike]

What?

[Pat]

One time in my life I learned my lesson quick. I was like 19 and I went up to a woman, I just reminded her of something she said and she laughed and she said that was funny. She's like, what's my name? I said, oh, this is awkward.

[Caller 1]

Yeah.

[Pat]

I said, what's my name? She said, Patrick Johnson Jr. I was like, oh. She's like, exactly. And walked away. And I was like, that's so dumb. I still don't know your name. She could at least told me her name for you.

[Mike]

You're bad at that though because you also don't save numbers because then we'll be in group chats and then you'd be like, hey bro, who are you talking?

[Pat]

Is this Especially when somebody asks for a favor.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

You'd be like, oh, such and such Texas. I'd be like, who is that? They'd be like, joe. Joe from the gym. 15 years ago. 15 years. Like, when we was in college, man, that.

[Mike]

Especially the ones where it's like, when somebody asks for something and I say yes for both of us, and you, like, don't know who that person is. Wait, what are you. Who are you saying yes to?

[Pat]

Mike, quick to volunteer. Somebody might be like, yeah, bro, we got a beach party on the 5th, too. I'm like, beach party? Yeah, bro. My boy from Nigeria I used to hoop with. He need us to say a few words at the beach party.

[Mike]

You don't got no choice. The thing that Pat. That's why Pat's a good friend. Because Pat will always go along with it. Like, he'll be like, all right, let's do it. If it's me when he does that, Come on now.

[Pat]

No, he. This dude, he'll leave you in the middle of something if you don't with it. You're like, yeah, bro, I got this speech at the White House. Yeah, bro. I'm not pulling up, bro.

[Mike]

Nah, I can't.

[Pat]

Too many riots going on, bro.

[Mike]

Anyway, welcome to crash dummies, episode 244. Mike, we got Pat here. We're in LA, man. That's why you. Obviously, anytime you see us here, we're at TMG Studios. What else I got? What's some now? Squad, squad, squad. Patreon still half off, right? We have merch coming out and what everybody's been waiting for. We're going on tour. So for the first leg. So we're gonna start doing more announcement. They're giving us the dates and like that. So February 24th, we're going to be in Indiana at the helium. And February 25th, we're going to be in St. Louis. And then March 24th and March 25th, we're going to be in Seattle and Portland at the Helium as well. So we're going to put that information in the bio. It should be crashdummieslive.com by the time this comes out, or just you see in the link in the description.

[Pat]

Okay, so as far as people DMing me or Mike or the Crash from me's page, whatever it may be, you'll get a better response if you show the ticket. You not. We not about to have a conversation talking about your bro. I'm gonna see you there. Nah, bro, we not playing that deadbeat, man.

[Mike]

Yeah, come out to the show. Indiana and St. Louis is the first date, so. Yeah. Minneapolis.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Okay. What'd I say?

[Pat]

Indiana.

[Mike]

Oh, the whole state. I said city and state because Gary

[Pat]

talking about they show up to the show. It's not this one.

[Mike]

All the exact locations will be the description show out this time. Make sure you guys get the tickets early because last time with the Chicago show, everybody knows that it sold out super, super quickly.

[Pat]

I'm telling y', all, it's going quick not to. This ain't no humble brag either. This shit's flying off the shelves.

[Mike]

I actually got a question for you, and I think it was. It stemmed from a conversation that me, Gene, and you probably was having movie for.

[Pat]

Is that what. That's a terrible structure of that, but go ahead. Me, Gene, and you. The English teacher would have been like, no, no, no.

[Mike]

Say that again.

[Pat]

I hated that.

[Mike]

I hate. It's like, don't ever put yourself first.

[Pat]

Yeah, no, no.

[Mike]

Me, me.

[Pat]

Me and the guys,

[Mike]

movie for movie. Who do you think has the best movies? Nick Cannon or Bow wow?

[Pat]

Nick Cannon or Bow wow. What are Bow Wow's movies?

[Mike]

We got roll, bounce, robots. We got,

[Pat]

like, Mike.

[Mike]

Like Mike. Come on. And one and two.

[Pat]

One and two.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Okay, let's.

[Mike]

Number one, I don't think he was even in Mike like Mike, too.

[Pat]

No. Okay. Nick Cannon got Love Don't Cost a Thing. Which. Which is the best movie.

[Mike]

You think so out of the group,

[Pat]

it has to be Love Don't Cost a Thing.

[Mike]

Okay, so Bow Wow was in, let's see, Shad Moss.

[Pat]

Oh, yeah. Call him Shot Moss, bro. Have some respect.

[Mike]

That's true. That's true.

[Caller 2]

Some.

[Pat]

Respectfully, for you, not come on the show, bro. It's like, yeah, I was gonna rock with y', all, but y' all keep calling me Bow Wow.

[Mike]

With Bow Wow, I got, like, Mike, obviously. That's easy one. Okay, there's robots.

[Pat]

Robots. But you gotta get that also to me.

[Mike]

Come on. Now, that is. Who had the bigger party robots, Though Bowel is in the middle of the poster, so that's definitely his movie.

[Pat]

No, it's definitely Bowel's main character. Okay, that's fine.

[Mike]

And then we got Lottery ticket.

[Pat]

Lottery ticket. Okay. I got Love Don't Cost a Thing.

[Caller 1]

Mm.

[Pat]

Right?

[Mike]

Which is.

[Pat]

Which is killing all.

[Mike]

You think so?

[Pat]

And then the love cup.

[Mike]

Love Don't Cost a thing. Over like Mike.

[Pat]

Okay, let's say that's a debate. Whatever.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Pat]

Drumline is over all of it.

[Mike]

You think so? Over like Mike.

[Pat]

Drumline. Over like Mike.

[Mike]

No, no. Like, Mike is, like, legit legit. Like, everybody's seen that movie.

[Pat]

You're drunk. It's February, bro. Like, Mike give me, like, a piece of your black heart. Like, you get to keep your.

[Mike]

Like, Mike is better than. Than drumline. Drum line is better than, like, Mike.

[Pat]

Drum line up there, bro.

[Mike]

It's up there. Drum line is goaded.

[Pat]

Drum line is a masterpiece. Like Michael Jordan, bro.

[Mike]

Come on.

[Pat]

Is a masterpiece. It show you, like, fake it till you make it. Like, it was the first time where somebody literally got something off not being able to read

[Caller 1]

you.

[Pat]

Got you. And then was angry that he was. He couldn't read music. Talking about y' all hating on me. No, we just want you to be able to read the choreography and not do a solo out of nowhere.

[Mike]

Yeah. I think with, like, Mike as a kid, too, it gave you hope that you can do greater things in life.

[Pat]

And drumline showed you that if a nigga drum on your drum, you beat the fuck off, that it start a brawl. That's what you do. Don't drum on my drum, bruh. No, drumline is definitely more iconic than, like, Mike. But I get what you're saying. Like, growing up like Mike, especially if you know you of that age, it's crazy to you. It's like, oh, damn, if I put on shoes. Because every kid wanted to instantly be good at something, especially when you growing up, like, damn, I love to be great at basketball or football and be the best ever.

[Mike]

So when I remember, like, Mike, I was so annoyed that I couldn't find the fucking team on the game.

[Pat]

Oh, yeah.

[Mike]

I used to think I was like, oh, where's the team? Where's the team? It Wasn't on, like, 2K or was the NBA live back then? I was so pissed.

[Pat]

I got it. It's a funny thing from that movie that somebody tweeted. I never noticed is a lot of the players are there, right? But Allen Iverson isn't there. He was never in a movie. Like, they never interacted. So every time they went to Allen Iverson, it was just, like, real game footage. It was like. It was like. No, it was just another cutscene. It was like they never touched or never interacted.

[Mike]

Oh, damn. I didn't notice that.

[Pat]

Like, some of them players wasn't even there.

[Mike]

I thought Morris Chestnut. Morris Chestnut was a real NBA player, but without the.

[Pat]

Listen, this is why I like Mike Che a little bit. And this is why drum line is better. No shade to, like, Mike. They use real NBA players. And, like, Mike Yes.

[Mike]

Right.

[Pat]

That's like, come on now.

[Mike]

Come on. I would make it more believable.

[Pat]

That's cheating.

[Mike]

No, they're cheating.

[Pat]

High School Musical use all real Corbin Blue out there balling. They couldn't even hope for him.

[Mike]

No, it's looking back at a lot of those shows. It's like, damn. Like a lot of the choreography. Choreography. And like the. The basketball movies.

[Pat]

Like.

[Mike]

Oh, this is really bad.

[Pat]

We talked about this before, but we always talk about the double teamed.

[Mike]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Pat]

The. The twins, the white blondes. And it was doing that pivot move. Yeah, that Candace Parker clamping that up. That is clamp. Don't nobody want to see that.

[Mike]

Oh, man. I also. I think. I think we talked about this before was the. The dating shows, right. I saw another dating show that I forgot about was Date my Mom or something like that on mtv. I remember that one where they go. Exactly. It was like very.

[Pat]

That boy was watching us.

[Mike]

It was very true.

[Pat]

That was on mtv.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah.

[Pat]

Like some freaky.

[Mike]

But it was like, you. The person gets to date their mom, right? And they can choose the daughter based on. Or the son based on their dates with the mom.

[Pat]

Oh, the girl would go on a date with the mom.

[Mike]

Or. Or. Or yeah, something like that. The girl or the guy. The guy would. I'm just seeing from the. The clip I saw.

[Pat]

Oh, the guy would go on a date with the mom to see if he. And yes, he would choose the girl.

[Mike]

Yes.

[Pat]

You see, they ain't do that the opposite way.

[Mike]

What do you mean?

[Pat]

That's why they got rid of it.

[Mike]

What do you mean?

[Pat]

Now imagine the girl having to go

[Mike]

on date with the dad.

[Pat]

Come on, man.

[Mike]

He might not. Dad might actually. Still.

[Pat]

No shit. We got too much going on right now. Narrative redact. Okay.

[Mike]

Speaking of redaction.

[Pat]

No, that's crazy. Okay, I got a question for you.

[Caller 1]

All right.

[Pat]

Okay. Do you think, okay, let's say you get a billion dollars tomorrow.

[Mike]

Yep.

[Pat]

Do you think money will change you or do you think it will reveal you?

[Mike]

I think it'll change me. I think it's changed, though, obviously, the simple things, the way I move the. The people I probably talk to as well.

[Pat]

Are you saying you. Stop. There's. There's certain people you wouldn't even interact with if you got a billion dollars tomorrow? Yes. Wow.

[Mike]

I won't say who they are, but this is like, you know, they're in your life right now because, like, they're in close proximity. I got a lot to lose, I would say. But like, not a billion dollars to lose.

[Pat]

Right.

[Mike]

So now I have a billion dollars to lose. I don't want to lose this billion or go to, like, jail or what, Anything. Like, just like, you know, you gotta move some of the crazy people out your life, but you need a bigger reason, too, I guess. What will you do?

[Pat]

My contact list going down to five.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

I only talk to five people. Why the am I talking to you?

[Mike]

There's not many conversations you can have. I think you become unrelatable.

[Pat]

No. Yes.

[Caller 1]

And.

[Pat]

And, like, somebody's life is going to get ruined. Like, there's people I don't like, but, like, I don't like them enough to, like, go beat they ass or I don't like them enough to, like, make their life. But if I have extra money.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And I'm like, man, I know that dude loved this movie. So I must buy out every ticket of every theater near him so he can't go see the movie.

[Mike]

That's why it's so vindictive. Come on.

[Pat]

Mandictive soul. Oh, man. I know. He needs some brakes. I'm gonna put a car in every car shop.

[Mike]

Do you think being broke saves a lot of people from doing, like, saves a lot of people's lives, in a sense? Because I feel like sometimes when you have a lot of money, it makes you do, like, a lot of more random shit. Like go on submarines that blow up in the middle of the fucking ocean. That type of shit.

[Pat]

I mean, you see it all the time. You'll see people that have millions of dollars, and they're. They'll squabble it away by doing something dumb. Yeah, right. It's like, damn, this dude made $56 million in his career, and he over here shooting somebody in the middle of the street. Just like, okay, imagine if that was 560 million, what he would have did.

[Caller 1]

Yeah.

[Pat]

You know what I'm saying? Yeah. He probably would have broke into a house and did something to his. And then blew up his car. Some crazy shit like that. I don't sound familiar to you?

[Mike]

I feel like some street dudes, like, even if they got a billion dollars, they still want to be in the street.

[Pat]

Yeah, there's some people that love that shit. I mean, there's some people that love prison. I just literally seen a dude go to prison for doing a crime. I'm not gonna say what the crime was, but when it was walking him out of prison, he did the crime again in front of the guards. I was like, oh, man, he got somebody. His girl in There he misses girl.

[Mike]

Missed his girl.

[Pat]

Okay, this question is being nonchalant emotional maturity or is it emotional laziness?

[Mike]

Oh, man, this is a tough one because I consider myself, like, so I can be a little nonchalant sometimes. What was the one emotional.

[Pat]

Is it emotional maturity or emotional laziness? Or is it somewhere in the middle?

[Mike]

I feel like it's somewhere in the middle, but I guess it's like, person. Obviously, I'm not gonna. This is me thinking too much into the question. It's different from people to people. I think at times when I'm nonchalant. Sometimes it is. Emotional laziness is that I don't really want to give this attention right now because selfishly, it doesn't do anything for me, in a sense.

[Pat]

I. I asked this question because it's. Yeah, all these questions are because everything that can be used for good can also be used for bad, especially when it comes to relationships, because it's. You know, you go to couples therapy and the therapist is like, yes. When you guys argue, you guys need to take space from each other, then reconvene on the argument. So if somebody can use that to be petty, like, okay, I'm gonna take space. I'm not going to talk to my girlfriend for 24 hours. And then when she come to me crying, I'm like, man, the therapist said, take some space. I'm just doing what the lady says.

[Mike]

Yeah. What's my. What's my ex.

[Pat]

The same thing with being nonchalant, though. It's just like, oh, yes, I'm. I'm nonchalant in my face, like when we're arguing. So I don't ever yell at you. I keep it calm. But, you know, like, especially as guys, we can use that nonchalantness to really piss them off. Yeah. And it's almost a way. You know, I, like, sometimes couples do this thing. I'm gonna piss you off in a way that if you call me out, I could flip it on you and make you look crazy and you technically can't prove it.

[Caller 2]

Yeah.

[Pat]

You know, I'm saying it just like, oh, I'm gonna be nonchalant. Like, yes, calm down. And you know, your girl don't like when you talk with your hands. Yeah, calm down. All I said was calm down.

[Mike]

Look at you. Look at you saying calm down and stuff like that is like a death sentence.

[Caller 1]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

That's like you not trying to, like, solve anything when you hit the. Calm down.

[Pat]

Yeah, I.

[Mike]

But I think both. It goes both ways. When somebody Tells me to calm down and I feel like I'm calm. Like, bro, what the are you. What.

[Pat]

What are you doing, man? That's what I say. The. The one thing I do look at weirdly is that, you know, I don't like the. The racial thing too much. But white dudes get away with a lot with what they say, you know what I'm saying? It's just like I feel like as a big black dude, if I say damn you in my ear, it's like it looks at more violent, you know what I'm saying? But the white dudes be like, you act just like your mom, you know what I'm saying? Like, yo, that's evil, bro. That's evil.

[Mike]

But it might be a tone thing. But say how you it the first time.

[Pat]

Damn.

[Mike]

Yes,

[Pat]

you annoying guy. You do this all your.

[Mike]

All your boyfriends?

[Pat]

Yeah, that's why they left. My boy Johnny told me that one. Now that be sensitive or that. That used to be my. I get it now. Because I used to hate like romcom movies or romantic movies. You know when the girl just be like, just say you love me and we can go back to normal. Yeah, do be like, I can't. And then you just be like, man, why would he just lie? Just lie. You know what I'm saying? But like as you get older, you realize like, damn. People push you to the point where you just are just so truthful and blunt.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And then they look at you crazy. They like antagonize you. Like, ah, you just like, I don't like hanging around you, bro.

[Mike]

But when somebody tells the truth like that, it's like they are ready for to be over. Yeah, like that. Like the last. What's the. That last straw and stuff like that. So it's. It's one of those things I think that's happened to me a couple times. Just like, you just gotta be blunt because sometimes when you kind of like try to like beat around the bush in a sense, you just prolong what's already gonna happen.

[Pat]

Yeah, I think because we want people to be like us.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Because I feel like our vibe is to catch the signs before a person would even have to have the thought of telling us something. It's like, damn, they did that kind of weird. Like, yo, what up? And then it's a dude just like he do a fist bump up. Okay, now I'm never giving you a handshake again, so don't try to dap me up when you drunk. We dapped for the rest of Your life, you pick that and kind of picking up on the signs and stuff. Whereas, like, you hope they act like you, but then it's like, damn, you really don't get the signs that I don't with you.

[Mike]

I'm starting to do a lot more just straight handshakes now. I think it's just like, it's just hard to know what someone's gonna do because it's like you hype. I hyper analyze it. Right.

[Pat]

Gripping the.

[Mike]

No, I'm just, I'm just saying, you just see, like, just say regular, just nerdy looking white dude. But he, you know, we talk hip hop sometimes in a sense, right? So it's like, what type of handshake is he gonna hit? Give me. Like, he's very cultured, you know, and everything. But, like, what kind of handshake is he going in for? And sometimes you misread it. Obviously you're going for this straight one. He's like, now he's the one pulling your. Your fingers and.

[Pat]

Oh, yeah, I get what you're saying. Like, he trying to do, like, what him and his friends do. Trying to do the snap. Some dudes be trying to turn my. Into the seven mile handshake. I'm like, man, I'm damn near 30 out of my face. The dude got two kids trying to do the seven mile handshake. You were from Lansing, Michigan. What the is going on?

[Mike]

Still gang banging?

[Pat]

No, I, man, I get that though. I. I definitely get the handshake stuff. Yeah, I try to get it all out the way before they ask any other questions.

[Mike]

All right, now.

[Caller 1]

Yo, yo.

[Pat]

Welcome to Crash to me's podcast, bro. What's up? What's up? I got a question for you. What's your most unpopular opinion?

[Caller 1]

Yo, if. If you ever tell me you cheated on somebody in the past and we together, I'm not gonna lie, I'm cheating on you in the future.

[Pat]

What? Why? Why? Why?

[Caller 1]

Because these women be believing in crystals in the moon. They got to start believing in karma. That's me, dog. No way.

[Pat]

You dedicated your life to being karma

[Mike]

so you would get with a girl purely just to cheat on her?

[Caller 1]

Honestly? Yeah. We both getting what we want.

[Mike]

What is she getting out of it?

[Pat]

What? What is she getting out of it?

[Caller 1]

With me for a reason. And I'm with her for a reason.

[Pat]

Okay, so let's talk about your last relationship. Did you cheat on her?

[Caller 1]

Maybe.

[Pat]

Okay.

[Mike]

Are you gonna say yes? Okay.

[Pat]

Are you in a relationship? No.

[Caller 1]

No, I'm not.

[Pat]

So are you really, like, are you ever looking for love? Or do you just want to play this game where it's just, like, you find out if she cheated, you cheat, or you try to be faithful? Like, what's your end game here?

[Caller 1]

Honestly, I'm gonna take whatever God gives me.

[Mike]

So you cheated in your last relationship, Right? So the next person you get with should be allowed to cheat on you then, right?

[Caller 1]

No, it's not cheating.

[Mike]

Huh?

[Caller 1]

It's more like prescribing the future. I was gonna get cheated on eventually.

[Pat]

So you cheat even before you know or not that they cheat.

[Caller 1]

No, no, I know that they cheated, but they didn't cheat on me yet.

[Pat]

How do you know that? Like, what if you get a girl that's never cheated before? Then what?

[Caller 1]

Well, I'm just not gonna cheat on her. Oh, man.

[Mike]

Well, she just doesn't tell you that information.

[Caller 1]

I. I got ways of finding out. You know, you can go around the phone a couple times.

[Mike]

Oh, man. So your last girlfriend cheated before?

[Caller 1]

Yes.

[Pat]

Okay, there we go. We got Somebody broke your heart to put you on this spiral.

[Caller 1]

No, not. She didn't cheat on me, but she

[Pat]

cheated on somebody, my first love, that cheated on me. There we go.

[Mike]

Oh, no.

[Pat]

Yeah. What happened, bro?

[Caller 1]

She was my high school sweetheart. We were dating for around three, four years. She went to college. I stayed home.

[Pat]

There it is. There it is.

[Caller 1]

I ain't staying home no more.

[Pat]

Oh, man. Say she went to too many basketball games, huh?

[Caller 1]

It was a D2 school.

[Mike]

How'd you find out?

[Caller 1]

Bro, she followed him, and it was a little more recent. So you know how you get that check mark in your name?

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Caller 1]

Found out they went to the same school. I was like, hey, are you with him? She's like, no, no, no. It's just a friend. It's just a friend. We know how all that go.

[Mike]

He's trying to sound tough.

[Pat]

We talk about all that.

[Caller 1]

Go.

[Pat]

Let it out, brother.

[Caller 1]

Bro, that still hurt. Dog was 6.

[Caller 2]

6.

[Pat]

Oh, man. How did. But like,

[Caller 1]

like, 5, 11, 5 10.

[Pat]

Yeah, say it one more time so you go down another inch.

[Caller 1]

I'm five eleven, five ten. Six foot in boots.

[Pat]

Okay, okay. All right, man.

[Mike]

Man, what's your message to her then? I guess.

[Caller 1]

I love you. You are the reason why all these women are going through this. This isn't my fault. I wish you were just a better person. But, you know, you know my number. Call me. Or don't.

[Pat]

Oh, you want her back?

[Caller 2]

Yeah.

[Pat]

So cool. So when she cheated on you, she ended up leaving you?

[Mike]

You?

[Caller 1]

I. I kind of left her Because I couldn't imagine her going, you know, back to school every week and, you know, getting down by someone at 6.

[Caller 2]

6.

[Mike]

If you got back with her, wouldn't you just cheat on her?

[Caller 1]

Yeah, exactly.

[Pat]

All right, man.

[Mike]

You have, bro.

[Caller 1]

Yeah, you as well.

[Mike]

All right. Yo, welcome to Crash podcast, brother.

[Caller 1]

What up, Mike?

[Mike]

What up? What up? I got a question for you. What's an unpopular opinion that you have?

[Caller 1]

I feel like. I feel like it's too many who are losers who don't know it or have, like, loser ideologies.

[Pat]

Okay, explain a loser. What's a loser in your eyes?

[Caller 1]

All right, so. So say it's a guy. Right. But his friends could get away with anything in the world. But if a female do it. Not even a female, because that could be taken wrong. But if a woman does it, then suddenly it's the worst thing in the world. And, like, occasionally I'll be telling my girl that Pat is like. He panders to women sometimes. But then, like, when I see stuff on the Internet, then I'd be like, okay, he kind of has to. To balance it out a little bit.

[Pat]

I have to. I don't pander to women. I say the truth, bro.

[Mike]

Or just say what you feel.

[Pat]

Just give us an example. I want to hear one.

[Caller 1]

All right, so I listen to y' all at work. So I got eight hours of every day. So. So say, like. Like, okay, the girl that had the sti. And she was just giving it out willy nilly.

[Pat]

Right.

[Caller 1]

Okay. Boom. If that was a guy, I feel like I would have been a little more harsh. Like, he should have been keeping it to himself for sure.

[Mike]

Yeah, I agree. I would be more harsh.

[Pat]

I feel like. I feel like our advice goes a longer way with guys, especially if we feel like they doing some immature stuff. Yeah. And we're. We're like.

[Mike]

And we're guys, so we can kind of relate to our own thinking.

[Pat]

Yeah. So just like, wait, why would you do that? I would have did this knowing that we kind of, like, like the same things.

[Caller 1]

Yeah. And that's why I said, I get it sometimes because, like, guys need a little bit more redirection. And then, like. Like, I get on Facebook or whatever, and they just be talking a little too crazy about women sometimes.

[Mike]

Yeah. We have to balance it out, man.

[Pat]

It's definitely. I get what you're saying. No, you. You. You actually. Right, I misheard you. We are trying to balance it out. So, yeah, we might talk about it a little bit more. But that's. But that's, like, the same thing. It's just, like, you'll go on Facebook and you'll see, like, a black person commit crime, and then you'll look at the comments, and then it's a bunch of racist people saying, what a terrible city, what a terrible neighborhood. Look what you people did. And they. And they're being racist. So now if there's a black dude that commits a crime, I might be a little bit quiet about it, because I know it's people under there with bad intentions.

[Mike]

Yeah, it's literally the RG3 thing.

[Pat]

Yeah, exactly.

[Mike]

Yeah. With the angel Reese.

[Pat]

Yes, it's RG3 thing. With angel Reese, it's just like. Yes, I understand that you might not like something Angel Reese does, and you should be. But, you know, the people that agree with you, you don't agree with good intentions. So you over here saying, man, women be tripping sometimes, and you just gave the ammo to 10 dudes who actually hate women.

[Caller 1]

Yeah.

[Pat]

So that's your responsibility, bro. So it's not called pandering. It's called balancing out, idiots.

[Caller 1]

That makes sense.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

And why are you having conversation with Pat about to your girl? Like, this is, like, your conversation. You bring to the table what your

[Pat]

girl be bringing me up, what should be something.

[Caller 1]

No, she don't bring y' all up, but, like, I only watch y' all and, like, the UK dudes, but I'll be talking about y'.

[Caller 2]

All.

[Caller 1]

I listen to y' all pretty much all day at work for the most part, every day, so appreciate you. I just be, like, telling her about, like, that I find funny or, like, what it's, like, relatable, I guess, or whatever.

[Pat]

What's your favorite moment from the podcast so far?

[Caller 1]

Favorite moment. I'm not gonna lie. It's so much. But it's like, I feel like the funniest, like, rhetoric is Mike telling people that he's African. Pretty much.

[Pat]

Let's go.

[Mike]

I don't know why that stands out to people so much.

[Pat]

Because you said it so much. But. But y' all gotta realize.

[Mike]

You also say where you're from. You also say where you're from just as much.

[Pat]

I'm about to help you out. But you gotta realize, like, we're. This is our origin.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Like, we're starting our popularity within the podcast, which is rare. Like, Joe Button doesn't get on his podcast and, like, tell people where he from, because people already knew where he was from before he got on, especially

[Mike]

when we have guests.

[Pat]

Yes.

[Mike]

I did mention Nigeria on this pod, though.

[Pat]

So, yeah, you got caught him right up.

[Caller 1]

Like, at first I didn't realize it, but then one day, Pat mentioned it, and then I was like, again, damn.

[Mike]

Hey, I'm happy where I'm from.

[Pat]

Where are you from, bro?

[Caller 1]

I'm from Milwaukee.

[Pat]

Oh. Oh. Shout out to you, bro. What?

[Caller 1]

Yeah, I tried to hit y' all up one day to get y' all to promote my kennel, but y' all didn't respond.

[Pat]

Kennel. Like dogs just say it right now, then.

[Caller 1]

Yeah. Dog say right now.

[Pat]

Oh, yeah.

[Caller 1]

On IG Cool Kids Kennels, everything's with a kid.

[Pat]

No, no, no, no. You're lying. You're lying. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. No, no, no, no. Okay.

[Mike]

And you spelled the cool with a K. Yeah.

[Caller 1]

Okay, okay.

[Pat]

No, you just. This a clip. Mac, ask him what's the name of his business so we can clip this, all right?

[Mike]

Oh, what's the name of your business?

[Caller 1]

Oh, yeah, it's Cool Kid. Kendall. Man, KKK gotta be different. Gotta change it up.

[Pat]

What? What's your slogan?

[Caller 1]

I don't even really got a slogan, for real. I'm really just trying to, like, really make it real now. But I'm trying to change, like, the whole meaning behind KKK for me, personally.

[Mike]

New meaning.

[Pat]

He trying to. He trying to take over the SEO of KKK with his ke.

[Mike]

He tried to do the same thing.

[Caller 1]

Cool.

[Pat]

Wait, cool kid counts.

[Mike]

So.

[Caller 1]

Yeah, Cool Kids Kennel.

[Mike]

Why not just a C?

[Caller 1]

I don't know, man. It just seemed like it was too easy. Gotta. Gotta push the narrative. Gotta make people think.

[Pat]

Like, what's your.

[Mike]

What's the logo?

[Caller 1]

See, I'm not even that far yet. I just got the dogs and the

[Mike]

name, so it's just letters.

[Pat]

I know what you should do. You should put. You should put a pit bull in, like, one of the KKK rolls.

[Caller 1]

Hey, no, you're thinking,

[Pat]

have the dogs chasing each other around a burning cross. Oh, my God. Bring your racist dog to me.

[Mike]

What type of dogs are you selling? All hound dogs. I don't know why Hound dogs seem kind of what they kind of seem in German shepherds.

[Pat]

Bye, bro. All right, shout out to Appreciate y'

[Caller 1]

all calling, though, bro.

[Mike]

Wait, the kids has a Z in it?

[Caller 1]

Yeah, cool kids can.

[Pat]

That's fire.

[Mike]

All right, man.

[Pat]

You trying to change the name.

[Caller 1]

I appreciate y' all, boys.

[Mike]

All right, brother.

[Caller 1]

What's good, boys?

[Pat]

What's the deal? Welcome to Crash on Me's podcast.

[Caller 1]

Y' all remember me?

[Mike]

No.

[Pat]

I got a question for you, though.

[Caller 1]

I bet. All right.

[Pat]

What's your hot take?

[Caller 1]

I don't think that's a question I answered, but let me think. Oh, no, it was. Yeah, it was. No, it was. It was that fat people really be living, like, the better life. Like, it's better to be fat than fit.

[Pat]

Explain. All right. Wait, explain what you are first.

[Caller 1]

Remember that?

[Pat]

No, just tell it. Just tell us how much you weigh, bro.

[Caller 1]

Damn. Like that? I'm a cool 200. I'm a cool 200.

[Pat]

How tall?

[Caller 1]

Five, seven.

[Pat]

Oh, okay.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Pat]

All right, now. Now go ahead.

[Caller 1]

All right, so like, I used to be fit, right? Like, on my ID it says like 5 7-150- but, like, I went to college and I got that freshman 15.

[Pat]

Freshman 15.

[Caller 1]

But then I got that sophomore 15.

[Mike]

Well, I got that.

[Caller 1]

I got the freshman 15, right? Then I got that sophomore 15. Then I got that junior 15, 45. So now I'm in my senior year. Like, damn. Like a really fat.

[Pat]

Oh, so you got five pounds on the senior year already?

[Mike]

Are you saying, like, your life is better though, now?

[Caller 1]

Well, like, I'm enjoying it more. Why?

[Pat]

Why? Why?

[Caller 1]

Because, like, bro, when I was fit, like, I was doing things to stay fit. So, like, I'm running two, three miles a day. Like, I'm watching what I eat. Like, I'm not door dashing. Like, I'm going on walks.

[Mike]

And.

[Caller 1]

But now that I'm fat, like, it's cool. Like, I just be in the crib, like, playing 2K. Like, I'll be like, damn, let me. Let me hit Kroger up. Like, get that eight piece fried chicken. And then I'm like, it's two hours later, I'm looking at this. It's like two pieces left. But, like, like, I felt good eating it. Like, you know, like, I'm just chilling, smoking. Like, I was sitting in my room.

[Pat]

Okay, okay, these are the positives. And so there's no negatives to you being fat right now.

[Caller 1]

Well, like, also, I have a girlfriend, so, like, I don't have to worry about, like, damn, I'm fat. Like, I ain't gonna phone up hoes. Like, I'm chilling.

[Pat]

But you gotta worry about her pulling hoes behind your back when she say this dude not taking care of his body no more. Oh, my gosh.

[Caller 1]

My girlfriend gets no hoes, gang. Like, I'm chilling. Like, you feel me? Like, I don't need to be fit. I don't need to be fit right now. So, like, I'm really just, like, doing whatever I want. And, like, at the end of the day, I Know someone loves me. And I'm just chilling.

[Mike]

Have you done any blood work?

[Caller 1]

I'm wilding. Let me know if I'm wilder. Let me know.

[Mike]

Have you done any blood work?

[Pat]

No.

[Caller 1]

I need to, though, because diabetes and high blood pressure runs on both sides.

[Pat]

Both sides of your veins, too,

[Caller 1]

bro. Like, I just crushed like a 23,000. No, 2300 calorie burrito, like, in like two hours. And I was like, damn. Like, I really need to make some changes. But, like, what if I don't, though?

[Pat]

Hey, man. Well, I. I say, like, you. You should definitely find a balance. There's. You can literally be in shape and still have all those crash out days. You just gotta. You just got to work hard on the days that, you know I'm saying, like, that you're not eating all that.

[Caller 1]

All right, but hear me out, Pat, right? What if I want every day to be a crash out there?

[Mike]

But why not call a crash out there? That's just your normal.

[Pat]

Yeah, then why not work out with it a little bit? You can even it out.

[Caller 1]

I'm crashing out in general right now. Like, I don't give a.

[Pat]

But why don't we stop at £200, I think. £200? Like, you're literally admitting it right now. I feel like you crying out for help. That's why you call Mike.

[Caller 1]

Mike.

[Pat]

Just me.

[Caller 1]

Wait, why I call just me?

[Pat]

Because you can't be calling me with this. This gotta be for Mike, bro.

[Caller 1]

I remember y' all called that one that had a 5 XL. I'm not, bro. I'm still a large bro.

[Pat]

You that X coming soon.

[Mike]

About the earn this X badge.

[Caller 1]

It's gonna be eight, like I called him. What do you say, Pat? What you say?

[Pat]

It's gonna be 8, 250 pound at your door. Like, welcome to the club, bro. And they gonna come in your house and take every large shirt. Like, you don't need this no more, bro.

[Caller 1]

Joining no fat community. I'm. I'm gonna tell you that right now. I might. I might like this. But I don't like fat, though. Like, I don't like them.

[Mike]

I like me. So you don't like other. You don't like other fat people?

[Caller 1]

Hell no. Them fat as, like, what's like, I'm a cute fat, though.

[Pat]

A cute fat.

[Mike]

According to your girlfriend, though. That's it.

[Caller 1]

No, bro, I'll be cheating.

[Pat]

Oh, my God.

[Caller 1]

Sorry. I'm a little drunk right now. I probably shouldn't be saying all this.

[Pat]

Okay. All right, bro.

[Caller 1]

I was the that called in, like, a month ago, bro, about, like, me and my boy, we made that song, and I played it for y'.

[Caller 2]

All.

[Pat]

Oh, it was trash.

[Caller 1]

And Mike was like, he could get better.

[Pat]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Mike]

Oh, yeah, the rapper.

[Caller 1]

He got better. He got better. Okay. I've been working with him, bro. Like, I took that advice. I was like, all right, bro.

[Pat]

Okay. You got a song on SoundCloud?

[Caller 1]

We go work on your. Huh?

[Pat]

You gotta. Why you say that?

[Caller 1]

What happened?

[Pat]

Nothing. You got a song? You got a song you want to show us?

[Caller 1]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He just dropped one of our songs recently. Huh?

[Mike]

It sounded like the Euphoria.

[Caller 1]

Yeah, no, we got songs.

[Mike]

What the is wrong with it? What you drinking on

[Caller 1]

Jen?

[Pat]

Shout out to Gene.

[Caller 1]

Is Gene there?

[Pat]

No, no, no, no. But you drinking J. You drinking Jen. So Gene somewhere near

[Caller 1]

pause. What? What? Huh?

[Pat]

Bro, show us the song.

[Caller 1]

Shut the up, Pat. Don't make me pull up.

[Mike]

All right, man. You have a good one, bro.

[Caller 1]

You too, bro.

[Caller 2]

Hey, what it do?

[Pat]

Welcome to Crash on Me's podcast.

[Caller 2]

Hey, how y' all doing?

[Pat]

I got a question for you.

[Caller 2]

Okay.

[Pat]

What's your most unpopular opinion?

[Caller 2]

Well, I think people who suck at lying shouldn't have sneaky links

[Caller 1]

because.

[Caller 2]

Oh, wait. Oh, my phone. Not. My phone just fell. What the hell? Hello?

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Caller 2]

Oh, yeah. Okay, so I have a sneaky link, and he is just, like, the worst liar. And I just feel like if you're gonna lie, there's no point of having a sneaky link. Like, it's just. It's supposed to be, like, to the point, there's. But no reason to lie.

[Mike]

But as the sink. As the sneaky link, do you deserve the truth?

[Caller 2]

I mean, if we know what it is, what's the one line?

[Pat]

Okay, explain your sneaky link, because I'm not understanding what's sneaky about it. You got to explain it.

[Caller 2]

I do what I do on my time.

[Pat]

So who are you sneaking away from and who is he sneaking away from?

[Mike]

Like.

[Pat]

Like, are one of you in a relationship or just two people who link up whenever they want to link up?

[Caller 2]

Yeah, I do what I do, and then I link with him when I want to.

[Mike]

Okay, so she's the one in a relationship.

[Pat]

She. Okay, she in a relationship. Got it.

[Caller 2]

I'm not. No, I'm not in a relationship. No, no, no, no. I did not say who's your man?

[Mike]

So he's in the relationship.

[Pat]

So is he in a relationship?

[Caller 2]

I don't know what he doing.

[Pat]

So you're the sneaky link. It's Not a sneak. He's not your sneaky link. You're the sneaky link.

[Caller 2]

No, I don't. I. I don't even know if it's a sneaky link. For real. Cuz, like, like he called me this morning at 8 o' clock in the morning. Why you call me at 8 o' clock in the morning?

[Pat]

Horny. That was in the morning too. So like, so you don't, you don't, you don't ever want to be with him?

[Caller 2]

I mean, no. Like, where is he? Cool.

[Caller 1]

But like, do you want to be

[Pat]

with him or not?

[Caller 2]

Yeah, I mean, I'm, you know, I'm 25. I feel like.

[Pat]

I have a question.

[Mike]

Do you want an exclusive relationship with him? Could you ever see that in your future? An exclusive relationship with just him?

[Caller 2]

Oh, okay.

[Mike]

We're gonna say that's a no if you're thinking about it. Right. Okay, so.

[Caller 2]

Right.

[Mike]

You want. You want just. You don't like that he lies to you? What is. What are some things that he's lying to you about?

[Caller 2]

Like right now, like, I'm actually at his house and he got a phone call and it said, like, Carter. And like, he was in the. He was. He's in the army. Let's start there. That's a. Reflect automatically. But, you know. Well, no, he's not at all. But you know, he could do what you do. That's his business. But it's just like, let it be known if we're bumping. So.

[Pat]

So to me, to me it sound like he got all the power because you over his house right now. You know he lying to you, and you know he doing his own thing on top of that. So why are you still there? What. What keep.

[Mike]

What.

[Pat]

What keeps you there?

[Caller 2]

I like to have fun.

[Pat]

He. Do he pay for everything? He pay for a lot of stuff.

[Mike]

Come on.

[Caller 2]

I don't deal with him. Outside of having fun, do he pay

[Pat]

for a lot of stuff?

[Caller 2]

We just have fun.

[Mike]

So it's just purely sex?

[Caller 2]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Y' all don't like, hang out outside of the bedroom?

[Caller 2]

No, because he's the sneaky link.

[Pat]

Got it. Okay. I mean, if you want to be caught in this infinite loop the rest of your life, you ain't got to tell us.

[Mike]

Yeah. When do you think you get out this. This cycle of being a sneaky link or you. You having sneaky links?

[Caller 2]

Well, this morning he said that he's like, I don't know why I don't take you out. And I was like, like in my head, I was Like, I know why. Because you don't want to. But.

[Pat]

Oh, okay. We get into a bottom of it. You want to be with him, and he just not doing. No, you definitely want to be with him.

[Caller 2]

It's just like. It's nice to hear it, you know?

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Pat]

You're in denial because you're protecting your feelings. You don't want to ever admit that you like him because obviously he might break your heart. We get it. We get it. I guess you'll stay there until you get your answer.

[Caller 2]

I mean, I could always ask him.

[Pat]

You. How dare you?

[Caller 2]

Oh, that ain't nothing. Better word.

[Pat]

Do it, do it. Hit us up tomorrow. We'll call you back tomorrow.

[Caller 2]

All right, all right.

[Pat]

She about to lose her best eater.

[Mike]

One sec, one sec, one sec.

[Pat]

You on my time? Little. My bad. I was, I was.

[Caller 1]

Now you're on my time, actually.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Pat]

All right, I got a question for you.

[Caller 1]

Go ahead.

[Pat]

What's your most unpopular opinion?

[Caller 1]

That all men are gay. Besides me.

[Pat]

Okay, explain.

[Caller 1]

Ever since my wife told me that all men are gay, I started to see that slowly unravel.

[Mike]

What were some of the signs?

[Caller 1]

I don't know. Let me. Let me. Let me ask her. Like, what were some of the signs? Yeah, what are some of the signs?

[Mike]

That's a real conversation.

[Caller 2]

They like. They always, like, touching on each other, like.

[Caller 1]

Like. Bro, stop.

[Pat]

Okay, okay, okay, okay. Question. Can you. She got the phone, right?

[Caller 2]

Okay. Yeah.

[Pat]

Has your man ever did anything that says that he was gay?

[Caller 2]

Not says that he's gay, but maybe he's open to other things with men. Like asking another man to join us.

[Pat]

Wait, wait, wait.

[Caller 1]

This is my wife's friend. Actually, this is not my wife.

[Pat]

No, no, no, no, no,

[Mike]

no.

[Pat]

You're cooked. You're so cooked. You're so good.

[Caller 1]

No way.

[Pat]

You just embarrass him like that.

[Mike]

How did he bring. How did he bring this up? And what was your answer to this?

[Caller 2]

Well, we're no longer together, but it was just on the topic of things that we might be interested in doing sexually with other people, and he said that he would be open to having a female or a male.

[Caller 1]

Oh.

[Pat]

Oh. What was your response to that?

[Caller 2]

I was thrown by it. I was definitely thrown. I told him that I wasn't gonna be. I wasn't open to that, but he

[Pat]

wasn't open to either. Or was it. Was it because he mentioned a man,

[Caller 2]

another female, but not. Not two males? No, for sure. Not. Not two guys.

[Pat]

All right, because. Yeah, I get it. Okay. Damn.

[Caller 1]

But it was.

[Caller 2]

It Was a little. It was. It did have me like side eye

[Pat]

him a little bit. Right. Because you don't know what he want with the other guy.

[Mike]

Wear the pants in the family.

[Caller 2]

But no but no judgment. No judgment.

[Mike]

She wear the pants.

[Caller 2]

You know, she's like.

[Mike]

My wife said. All right, you have a good one.

[Caller 1]

He just g. This call I was at.

[Pat]

Where is he going through Narnia or some. What's the deal, bro? Welcome to Crash Dummies podcast.

[Caller 1]

Glad to be here.

[Pat]

You know, start. Okay, starting off. We doing this to all callers height and weight before we start.

[Mike]

Oh, my gosh.

[Caller 1]

61198 maybe.

[Pat]

Okay, okay, okay. Got a question for you.

[Caller 1]

Yeah, I ain't sign fat. What's up?

[Pat]

What's your most unpopular opinion?

[Caller 1]

My most unpopular opinion is sitting in front of TV or computer watching two dudes sit down and talk. But let me explain myself, though. I am auto listening now. But I was a YouTube watcher. Stand down watching YouTube. Stepdad coming around. What you doing? Watching TV. So you just ain't watching two dudes stand on and talk. Turned off and watched. Listening to the on youth on a lab now.

[Pat]

Oh, okay. What your pops do for a living?

[Mike]

Stepdad.

[Pat]

Oh, it's his stepdad?

[Caller 2]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Oh, come on, man. He ain't supposed to be listening to this. What he. What do you do for a living?

[Caller 1]

Look, I'm a truck driver.

[Pat]

A truck driver. So he not home.

[Caller 1]

Wait, you talking about the stepdad or the real dad?

[Pat]

The step.

[Mike]

The one that told you that is your stepdad, right?

[Caller 1]

Oh, yeah, yeah, the stepdad. Yeah, he a little truck driver. Garbage truck driver. Oh, he stay at home. Yeah, garbage truck.

[Pat]

Garbage truck. So you're not. He not home during the day?

[Caller 1]

No, he ain't home during the morning.

[Pat]

And that's what. That's when your uncle come over.

[Mike]

But doesn't everybody sit down and watch people on TV talk? In a sense,

[Caller 1]

females.

[Pat]

But now that you look at it,

[Caller 1]

you just seeing two dudes sitting down and just talking.

[Mike]

So you ever watch, like, you ever watch, like, First Take or any of those shows, like sports shows?

[Pat]

Do you watch? Do you watch football?

[Caller 1]

Yeah, I watch. I watch it. I don't like, sit down and listen to Santa Sharp.

[Pat]

And I'm saying, but you watching football. The two people that are commentating are sitting down. Then you watching other grown men play a sport and you emotional about it. So if you want to play this game, we can play this game with almost everything you watch. So at the end of the day, stepdad.

[Caller 1]

I don't want to play this game.

[Pat]

I'm just saying stepdad should stay in stepdad place. Shut the up. He not the real dad, bro. Tell him that. Stand up for yourself.

[Mike]

You used to live with your stepdad.

[Caller 1]

No, I don't live with him, but I'm going home next weekend. I'm gonna start the up.

[Mike]

Tell them we told you to do that, too.

[Pat]

Now, the last time we told somebody to do that, we got, like, a strike. I don't know if it was or YouTube, but they strike us and said we told somebody to go get revenge.

[Mike]

Now slap the out your granddad. Oh, your stepdad

[Pat]

might just add people add him, too.

[Mike]

The stepdad's dad.

[Pat]

Y. Oh, yeah, true. Yeah. Slap the whole bloodline.

[Caller 1]

I'm recording, and I'm gonna send it to you, too.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah.

[Pat]

On gta. Also, stand over his body and say, crash, dummies for life. And then teabag him.

[Caller 1]

All right, bye.

[Mike]

All right, bro. You have a good one.

[Caller 1]

All right.

[Mike]

All right.

[Pat]

Yo, what's. What's. What's the word, brother? I almost asked him the question right away. I wasn't even gonna give him no introduction.

[Caller 1]

No, don't do it like that.

[Pat]

All right. I got a question for you, bro.

[Caller 1]

All right.

[Pat]

What? You want to say something to Mike? Why are you so down?

[Mike]

I said, all right.

[Pat]

What you got to say to Mike, bro?

[Mike]

Oh, my gosh, man.

[Caller 1]

I don't got to say to Mike. Oh, why you say it like.

[Mike]

Why'd you say like that, man?

[Caller 1]

Because Pat, my favorite.

[Mike]

That's fine, but, you know, watch the tone a little bit, you know?

[Caller 1]

Whoa.

[Pat]

You don't talk to my boy like that, though. Mike, I got your back, bro. I got your back, bro. He got us up, bro. All right. About to ask you a question, bro. It's just me and you. Don't even worry about Mike, bro.

[Mike]

That's not very romantic.

[Pat]

Hey, man, somebody got to take his spot as. All right, I got a question for you.

[Caller 1]

What's up?

[Pat]

What's your unpopular opinion?

[Caller 1]

You shouldn't use condoms. Like, man, you can use condoms at all. You ought to take a risk anyway. You might as well get burned a little bit, cuz I use a.

[Pat]

Man, I knew I should have seen this hole.

[Caller 1]

I use a condom and got burnt. Anyways,

[Mike]

This would be the perfect ass spot for a Trojan. Whatever.

[Pat]

Directs.

[Mike]

Directs.

[Pat]

Yeah, whatever.

[Mike]

Right here. You should practice safe sex. People. Don't listen to this idiot.

[Caller 1]

No.

[Mike]

And then he's. And this is Pat's boy. This is Pat's boy. The Pat Disciples.

[Pat]

Hell, no. I don't know this. He literally called in. It literally say Mike on here.

[Mike]

No, he just said, that was your boy.

[Pat]

Now you switch it up on him. No, man, I'm definitely switching up on. I mean, even if I had to exterminate this to make the world better, I would do it. I got to do my, you know. You know, your guy across the line. Yeah, yeah. This is my last time hanging out with dog. No, I'm definitely done with whoever this is on the phone.

[Mike]

I don't even. I really don't even care for your, like, your explanation about this, because it's just going to be dumb regardless. It already started.

[Pat]

No, like.

[Mike]

Like, I really like.

[Caller 1]

Okay, what the point? If you still can get burnt with a condom. What the point of using a condom?

[Caller 2]

You might.

[Caller 1]

You already taking the risk.

[Mike]

There's, like a lot of other things that helps, you know, Bro, that's like.

[Pat]

That's like a rare case,

[Caller 1]

man. And I don't think that rare, but still.

[Pat]

What the is wrong with you?

[Mike]

All right, man. You have a good one, bro.

[Caller 1]

So.

[Mike]

Now are stupid.

[Pat]

What up? Welcome to Crash on Me's podcast.

[Caller 2]

Oh, my God, I hear that every week. I never thought I'd hear it on the phone.

[Pat]

Hey, I don't know how to take that. All right. I got a question for you.

[Caller 2]

Yes.

[Pat]

What's the worst thing you've ever done?

[Caller 2]

Okay, so you have to know I'm a reformed good Christian woman now.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Caller 2]

Yeah. But when this happened, okay, this is something I'm happy to share because this person did me in. Okay. So I was dating somebody. We got engaged. We were going to get married the next year. He decides that he wants to take a boys trip for his birthday. So I'm like, okay, cool. I rent him a car. He takes my 500 baccarat, and I find out while he's on this boys trip on his birthday that he's out there to meet a girl. I'm like, oh, okay.

[Pat]

So the boy. So the boys were never with him?

[Caller 2]

No, they went with him. And they were accomplices. They were accomplices to the crime. And I think the part that I was most bothered about is like, he went to go smell good for this. Like my 500 baccarat. Oh, you got me so up.

[Pat]

How'd you find out?

[Caller 2]

Oh, I went through his icloud. Whatever. You know, girls be into that hacking. So it was the day before his birthday. I found out. Oh, you know, the funniest part is, is that if this makes the pod. He actually showed me the pod. So I hope he hears this, and he's gonna know who he is. Okay. So I find out the day before his birthday, so. Oh, I'm about to do his ass in. So the next day, I'm like, okay, I don't know if y' all ever had a buzzball and a beatbox in the same night, but that's dangerous.

[Pat]

Well, we haven't, but we can imagine what it's like. Yeah.

[Caller 2]

Yeah. So, yeah, now you know my mindset. So basically, I had this guy come over to our house, and, yep, all our pictures, our little engagement photos, everywhere. This guy does not care, obviously. So then I'm like, you know what? Let's go to my room. So, you know, we do the D. Whatever. And while he's doing it, he's like, I should take a video. And I'm like, you know what? That's a great idea. Yeah. I don't know. Something about the liquor, like, just turns me into a camera star. I'm just like, yeah, let's get this on camera.

[Pat]

Like, we'll call it that.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Caller 2]

Yeah. So he's like, yeah, let me take a video, but let me take it on your phone. I'm like, okay. So anyways, he takes the video, everything's green. There's my fiance, comes back, doesn't know. So then, yeah, he was my fiance. He doesn't know that I know about him. And obviously he hasn't found out about me yet. So this guy, it turns out, was living with his baby mama, and she ended up going through his phone, and he had asked me to send the video, so I did. And so she ends up finding the video. And, like, probably a week later, I just get a text from a random number, and it just says, hi, and my heart drops. I'm like. So the girl text me a screenshot of the video, and I'm like, that ain't me. I got tattoos, and whole time, I did not have tattoos. So I'm like, begging this girl, like, please don't tell. And one night, I just remember, like, this guy's on the game. He's like, you know, just living his life, enjoying his day. And the way he looked at me, I just knew that he just knew. So the girl called him. She literally found his number. Somehow, she couldn't find his number, so he. She found his mom's number. So I thought I was a stalker. This bitch was next level. So she ends up finding his mom's number. She gets in touch with him. She Sends him the video and he sees that it was took on his birthday and yeah, pretty much he just crashed out.

[Pat]

Okay, okay, so going back, let's go back to the middle of the story, right where. So you got that guy while he was on a trip.

[Caller 2]

I know the guy that I messed with was just like some guy that was on my social media or whatever. And I was like, oh, like I'm gonna get my gift back. While my boyfriend or fiance was out of town.

[Pat]

Got. Okay, so he was out of town for another trip.

[Caller 2]

He was out of town for his birthday.

[Pat]

Oh, for that trip. That's what I'm saying. How did you get that guy so quickly?

[Mike]

That's a good question.

[Caller 2]

It was like, you know, you girls always have people that they with back then that are just waiting, you know, So I just had to hit him up one time like, oh, hey, I'm. I'm single, so what you trying to do?

[Pat]

So what? So, so, okay, so. So what if your boyfriend felt that energy and that's why he, you know, had another girl in a different country.

[Caller 2]

He did this first. It was like.

[Pat]

That's what I'm saying. Maybe it was his intuition knowing that you got that guy on the side. He felt like, damn, this girl ain't got all my love. Both of y' all wrong as like,

[Caller 2]

I was so loyal to him, literally in that. That's why I had to really do his ass in. Because I did not talk to nobody.

[Mike]

But you see how easy it was though, right? Because the person that the person you're talking to was also in the relationship, right?

[Caller 2]

Yeah, but men are just overly going, so that was easy.

[Pat]

I'm just saying. You overly going too though.

[Caller 2]

I mean, I was for this one specific. Get back.

[Pat]

Yeah. Okay, this sounds like a pattern to me.

[Mike]

Are you in a relationship now?

[Caller 1]

Barely.

[Pat]

I'm not. I'm not going. I'm not gonna lie. Like, if I like let's say like in some weird ass scenario that I, like me and you were dating and you told me this story, I would never talk to you again. Because I'll just be like, this is. This don't sound good. This is like something either telling him

[Caller 2]

a reformed Christian woman.

[Mike]

She did say that at the beginning. She did.

[Pat]

Oh, she did say. But she's still all this hacking. Just don't go away.

[Mike]

So what you said you're.

[Caller 2]

I went to therapy. I worked on myself, you know, you're

[Mike]

in a maybe conversation relationship now, right? Why is it a maybe?

[Caller 2]

Because I don't know, I just Told you. Men overly going. So.

[Mike]

Oh, is it like. Like you guys aren't official or.

[Caller 2]

No, it's like you got trust issues. Yes. Yeah. And he listens to the pod, too. You know, I had a show. My new one. Well, my old one put me on.

[Pat]

Look how you talking my new one in my old one. Yeah. There's no way you like this dude if you call him your new one, because he's gonna be old someday.

[Caller 2]

Well, he's about to be. Yeah, but that's his. His fault, not mine.

[Pat]

So who's. I bet you you already know the new dude.

[Caller 2]

Yeah, well, no, I. See.

[Mike]

I reformed.

[Caller 2]

Broke up with them. My fiance. Right.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Caller 2]

And then did you give the ring back? Oh, I threw that at him.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Caller 2]

And whatever. It looked like it came from 25, but it was.

[Pat]

But you accepted it at one point. Let's not do that. Keep going. Keep going.

[Caller 2]

Yeah, I did. I was, you know, I was showing off that little cubic zyconium still shine the same. Exactly. And you know, when you put black and white filter, you can't really tell for real.

[Mike]

So I got a soft track.

[Caller 2]

I got into a new relationship, but he was with his baby mama on me, so I think that was my karma.

[Pat]

Okay. Okay.

[Mike]

Choose him.

[Pat]

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, damn.

[Mike]

She do.

[Pat]

You got a little. You got a terrible roster.

[Caller 2]

That's what I'm saying. Like, please, I'm moving out of Vegas. I need a new one.

[Pat]

Are you moving out of Vegas? Where do you think you're gonna go to find a new one? Okay, New York. What you got to say to the New York dudes before you get there so they know you on the way?

[Caller 2]

JT Coming. Jt. I'm just kidding.

[Pat]

Okay, run, fellas.

[Mike]

All right, you have a good one.

[Caller 2]

All right, Thank y'.

[Mike]

All.

[Pat]

Thank you.

[Caller 2]

Bye.

[Pat]

He sent.

[Mike]

Why?

[Pat]

Why are you sending us that story? What's wrong with you, bro?

[Caller 1]

What I send you, dummy? What? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[Pat]

Who in the car?

[Caller 1]

Remember, we go blue, we don't go red. R. You said what I said.

[Pat]

Where y' all at? Why y'?

[Mike]

All.

[Pat]

Yo, yo, why y' all sound so deep?

[Caller 1]

We just. We outside. We on some deep right now. Pause.

[Pat]

You gotta pause that, brother. All right. About to ask you a question.

[Mike]

Yeah, how many of y' all in the car

[Caller 1]

you asking fake questions? These are homies. These are homies. Yeah. See, look, my just caught window. What was going on? Yeah, these are homies.

[Pat]

What up?

[Caller 1]

Yeah, there's three of us, bro. Two girls, one dude.

[Pat]

Two girls, one dude.

[Caller 1]

But he already heard two talk. It's two and one.

[Pat]

Wait, why are you trying to switch it up? Is he trying to say. He might be saying you the other girl.

[Caller 1]

He said, my fault, bro. I took a couple shots of Henny, bro. That's my bad. I'm low key. We off the LeBron to see right now.

[Mike]

He said 2 and 1. So you call the girl in the

[Caller 1]

car with you a. I said female last week on her business.

[Caller 2]

She right here.

[Caller 1]

She's not saying nothing.

[Pat]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[Mike]

Okay. I mean.

[Pat]

No, no, no, don't do that, bro.

[Caller 2]

I am far from a. I must. I'm not. What?

[Caller 1]

At ease. I'm not a. Okay, I swear.

[Pat]

No, we. We. We believe not.

[Mike]

Don't let them talk to you like

[Caller 2]

that white girl, okay?

[Caller 1]

She got one of the phone sex voices. Y' all getting horny.

[Pat]

No, we not, bro.

[Mike]

Ask these the question, bro.

[Pat]

Gotta get these on the thing and ask. Asking two dudes that they horniest. What happened?

[Caller 2]

I think you would like me. Y' all should come to Lovick and hang out.

[Mike]

I'm good.

[Pat]

Y' all need to drop her off. She overly going. Come on. What's. I got a question. Make sure y' all boys use some protection. Yo, answer this question real quick.

[Caller 1]

We trying to.

[Pat]

Who you talking to?

[Caller 1]

I'm talking to Patrick Johnson.

[Mike]

Oh, my God.

[Pat]

No, he dick riding too crazy. All right, I got a question for you, bro.

[Caller 1]

What's happening?

[Pat]

What's the worst thing you've ever done?

[Caller 1]

Okay, so there's really not even the worst. Done did some. Okay. This particular day, right?

[Pat]

It's a big word.

[Caller 1]

So you know I got a bitch, right? Yeah, I'm with this. Okay, yeah, appreciate. Appreciate that. So I'm with this, right? That. Okay. Damn. Why keep saying my bad? I'm with a. I'm with a young lady who I already, you know, already has some past history with. She used to be my young lady, but then she kind of gave. She gave her hand away in marriage type. So she. She wasn't no more after that. And I. I come up with this broad, this broad, bright ass idea that I'm a link with her because she, you know, she going through her. So she like, oh, yeah, like, let's link. I go over this house, right? We chilling, kicking it or whatever, on this quiet ass street. We in the car, mind you chilling for like an hour or two. We do whatever, you know, chill. I ain't trying to incriminate myself. We do whatever. Chill talk. She confided in me and and then just out of nowhere, I see headlights turning down the block instantly myself, as you can imagine, right? Because I'm like, who is that? Because I know she got a. I know he in the army. And, you know, army, they don't play. They be having ptsd, all kind of. So that's off Rip. That's scary as hell. I'm like, I see the lights coming down the block. I say, is that him? She say, I don't know. He pull up. Boom. He pull up, park right in front of my car. But he leave just enough room for me to, you know, kind of skirt off, get jiggy, pull off, bruh. The next question I say, do he got guns? The said, yes.

[Pat]

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. So you. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

[Caller 1]

So you.

[Pat]

You pulled off with her in the car? She didn't get out?

[Caller 1]

She told you she didn't get out.

[Mike]

And then what happened when you pulled over, you pulled away.

[Caller 1]

I pull off this. Get the. Letting that thing off, right? Whether it was in the air or he had bad aim, he started shooting about six, seven shots went off. I'm scared, nigga. Boom. I get to the end of the block, right? I'm like, hey, yo, shorty, you gotta get out my car. She like, she panicking. We both panicking. She don't know what to do. She don't get out at the first time. I drive a little bit more. I'm like further away from her at this point. I'm like, you gotta get out my whip, like, you gotta get out. She hopped out the car, take off running, and she gonna dip. And now I didn't hit the corner, right? Boom. I turned down one corner, it's a dead end. I turned down another street, two, most streets, and they both dead end. So I'm myself.

[Mike]

Are you being chased?

[Caller 1]

I don't. I don't know, though. I'm not looking back, so I don't really know if he chased to me or is he beating her ass at this point? I don't know what's going on. So I just. Boom. I go park in this little. In this driveway on this dark ass street. And then I. I know y' all messy ass waiting on me to say he caught me, but he didn't, though. I got away.

[Pat]

I mean, your survival instincts is dog. He said, yeah, so. So how did you. Did you just wait him out behind you? Yeah.

[Caller 1]

You said, what?

[Pat]

So did you just drive somewhere, like to a dark street and kind of wait till time passed?

[Caller 1]

I just did. Yeah. Yeah.

[Mike]

Just go home.

[Caller 1]

Just you go home. So he could follow me to my house.

[Pat]

You are being followed. Oh, man.

[Caller 1]

Bill Nye over here telling me why didn't I just.

[Pat]

No, no. So we're being chased.

[Mike]

You went down two dead ends with no and no. You didn't get caught.

[Pat]

Okay, okay, okay.

[Caller 1]

He wasn't like. He wasn't up my ass when I was. When I was driving away. He. He had to be just worried about the. But I don't know what. I don't know.

[Pat]

That's what I'm saying. That's what's wrong with your survival instincts is the fact that you didn't get out of there as quick as possible. You were going places you didn't even know. Know how to maneuver. But that's fine.

[Caller 1]

I'm unfamiliar with it.

[Pat]

Okay, listen, situations happen. What since then have you done to elevate your life to make sure that don't happen again? Because one.

[Caller 1]

Oh, man. Your girlfriend?

[Pat]

I mean. No, but I'm just saying he running from like you. You don't think you should take some self defense classes or go get a gun yourself? Like you. You're taking off. You don't feel. Don't make you feel like.

[Caller 1]

Not even like I'm not even living like that for real, bro. I don't want a gun.

[Mike]

I feel it.

[Pat]

Then you should start. Then you should probably stop doing the other thing. You should probably stop messing with people. Girlfriends.

[Mike]

So what you. What you do to change?

[Caller 1]

I don't do like that no more.

[Pat]

Okay, that's good.

[Caller 1]

But if I do, I'm gonna make sure it's like a safe, you know, a safe scenario.

[Pat]

You want to make sure he's not in the army this time.

[Caller 1]

I gotta do some research on the ig. Make sure you're a. Before I just like try to, you know, wreck his home.

[Mike]

Your friend said you had a girl.

[Caller 1]

Nah, chill. No, no, no, no, no. Don't listen to this bro. He don't know what he talking.

[Pat]

Hey, let's talk to your friend.

[Caller 1]

No.

[Mike]

Who's the group leader?

[Pat]

What's the word you see with a group leader? See how fast he got the phone? What is the deal, bro?

[Caller 1]

Yeah, man. Whole bunch of chilling, bro. What y' all got going on today?

[Pat]

I can't believe you let little bro talk like that. Bro, you should have told the story. That's your story.

[Caller 1]

Hold on. At ease.

[Mike]

Go ahead. Group leader.

[Caller 1]

Group leader.

[Pat]

We talking. We talk about lieutenant. Did he tell you to shut up? Damn.

[Caller 1]

Okay, yeah, my bad. Yeah, go ahead.

[Pat]

No, we just talking.

[Mike]

How'd y' all become friends?

[Caller 1]

You said, what's up?

[Mike]

How'd y' all become friends?

[Caller 1]

You wanna really? I took this under my wing when we was younger, and now you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I ain't gonna lie, bro. This was. This was the older dog back in the day, man. I'm saying we just hang out, but we didn't hang out for a while.

[Pat]

But it's your.

[Caller 1]

I ended up rekindling with the. The dogs now. Now we're here.

[Pat]

No, using rekindle with your friends is crazy.

[Caller 1]

Yeah, yeah. It's like. It's like I ain't talked to this. I ain't talking, bro. In a minute. You know what I'm saying? And then one day, we end up just leaning back up. Now we just homies again.

[Pat]

Oh, that's dope. Oh, yeah. Somebody has sex with somebody, girlfriend they don't know.

[Caller 1]

Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yo, you try to give me the tail?

[Pat]

Yeah, go ahead, confess it, bro.

[Caller 1]

Yeah. No, no, no, no. I never did nothing like that. No, no, I never did that.

[Mike]

Y' all sound like y' all going really far in life. I'm not gonna lie.

[Caller 1]

Hey, man, what's the question?

[Mike]

Bro, there is no question.

[Pat]

We just want to see your vibe so we can see if the whole friend group.

[Mike]

I got a question for y', all, though. What's the question?

[Caller 1]

All right, so the question gonna be, is A.

[Pat]

The question go B is a.

[Mike]

What's the worst.

[Caller 1]

Worst. What's the worst link up scenario you ever had, man?

[Pat]

Oh, yeah, okay, brother. Everybody asked a question. You asked a high schooler. It's the worst link up you ever had. What's the deal? Welcome to Crashing Beach Podcast.

[Caller 1]

Quiet as, bro.

[Pat]

You can't hear us.

[Caller 1]

Oh, my bad.

[Pat]

Yeah, turn us up. Turn us up, I said. Hey, yo.

[Mike]

Anyway, welcome to Crashing Podcast. What's an un. What's an unpopular opinion that you have?

[Caller 1]

I think that Tay McCray should consider marrying me.

[Pat]

What you got to offer?

[Caller 1]

All right, so look, I'm a. I'm a young man. You know what I'm saying? I. Respectful to women, but I don't know. I think, you know, what do you

[Mike]

think are some good qualities about yourself? Like, come on, just list them out.

[Caller 1]

I can cook.

[Pat]

Okay, okay, before. Before we let you slide with the cooking stuff. What's your top three meals? Go.

[Mike]

Good question.

[Caller 1]

Wings. Grill. Wings.

[Mike]

Okay, okay, okay.

[Caller 1]

What's funny about that?

[Pat]

No, it's not bad.

[Mike]

It is a wing.

[Pat]

You started with wings. Okay, so grilled wings. Is different if you know how to work a grill.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Caller 1]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Okay.

[Caller 1]

Yeah, no, most stuff I do on the grill. Grill wings, grill. Salmon or baked salmon? Mac and cheese. Pretty good.

[Pat]

Okay, okay. Okay. We'll let you slide. Okay. Your. Your next one. So you got cooking. What else?

[Caller 1]

I feel like I'm a good listener.

[Pat]

Okay, that's. I mean, maybe you will for her. We can't prove that. We can't prove.

[Mike]

All right, if. If you're. You're going to take her on a surprise. D. Right. What's the top three spots you're picking?

[Caller 1]

All right, so number one, this. This is, like, from lat or like, from worst to best. All right, okay, so I'll get three. Number one, we have to do Popeyes.

[Mike]

Drive through Poop through Popeyes.

[Caller 1]

Okay, hear me out. Okay, hear me out. I'm a Caribbean male. You know what I'm saying?

[Mike]

I black.

[Caller 1]

I'm not. I'm not Dominican, so.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Caller 1]

I feel like, you know, it's part of the culture. She gotta learn, and if she's not with it.

[Mike]

Didn't you say you could cook, though?

[Caller 1]

Yes.

[Mike]

So why would you take it? Yeah. Okay, you. Right. Go ahead. What's number two?

[Caller 1]

Yeah, number two. A beach day.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Caller 1]

Females love the beach. Women.

[Mike]

Okay, just. Do you like the beast?

[Caller 1]

But you gotta. Hell, no. I think that's just dumb.

[Mike]

See, we. We've talked about this.

[Caller 1]

I love it.

[Mike]

We talked about this in the podcast when you start doing stuff that you don't really like with girls.

[Pat]

See, but. But this is what I don't like about, you know, some people that come over here and, like, have a fantasy relationship. Y' all never talk about what that person would want and how you would fit in their life. So, like.

[Caller 1]

Well, then what does she want? Exactly?

[Pat]

No, no, no, no. You should already know. She literally a public figure. You ain't did no research?

[Caller 1]

Hell, no.

[Pat]

What was she. What was she born at? Where was she born at?

[Caller 1]

Well, I couldn't take.

[Pat]

What did she do when you was. When she was younger? What was her hobby?

[Caller 1]

I assume singing, dancing.

[Pat]

See, you just like this. All Googleable. I'm literally fine. It's like, first page.

[Caller 1]

Yeah, but I don't really. I don't do my research, bro.

[Mike]

You just going based off looks.

[Caller 1]

I think she pretty.

[Mike]

Okay. Hey, what's your message to Tate McCray?

[Caller 1]

If you listening, I'm not gonna say I love you because I ain't met you yet, but there's a chance that I might love you.

[Pat]

Oh, my God. Okay.

[Caller 1]

All right.

[Mike]

Man, you have a good one, bro.

[Caller 1]

All right, all right.

[Pat]

Yo, what's the deal? Welcome to Crash Dummies podcast.

[Caller 2]

Thank you. Thank you.

[Mike]

Oh, yeah, I got a question for you. What's an unpopular opinion that you have?

[Caller 2]

Okay, my unpopular opinion is that if you're trying to be the plug, let me be specific, because I smoke weed.

[Caller 1]

I don't do them big boy drugs, plugs.

[Caller 2]

But if you're trying to sell weed, you need to be available all the time, at least for a text back or something. These plugs want to only have business hours, and you're. You're.

[Caller 1]

You're doing an illegal job already.

[Pat]

Oh, man. So. So, like, what's the specific thing that you ran into?

[Caller 2]

I just. Okay. Like, I'm. I'm young. Like, I'm sorry. I'm old enough to smoke weed legally now, but I feel like I had a lot of time where I was smoking, where I really had to depend on plugs. And they'll just literally tell you they on their way or you for hours and hours and then expect you to just still give you the money.

[Pat]

Like, how many times have you got weed for free?

[Caller 2]

No, it's not like that. But I mean, like, if I waited three hours on you, why would you expect me to still shop with you instead of finding another plug?

[Pat]

Right. I feel.

[Caller 2]

And then they'd be acting weird winter. I'd be like, oh, I found somebody else. They'd be like, damn, you couldn't wait on me. No, I couldn't.

[Mike]

They might have to do, though.

[Caller 2]

Okay, communicate that.

[Mike]

I get it.

[Caller 1]

Where are you from?

[Caller 2]

No, I'm from California.

[Mike]

Oh, that's just the accent.

[Caller 2]

I have an accent?

[Mike]

No, you said one thing. It sound like you're almost from, like, Toronto in a sense at the beginning.

[Caller 1]

Oh, no.

[Mike]

You're good, though.

[Caller 2]

No, no, no. But yeah.

[Mike]

What's your message? What's your message to your plug then?

[Caller 2]

Communicative. I see. That's why I had to stop using plugs, because it's too much. I started going to the dispensary, but to all the plugs who aren't texting people back, text people back. Put your notifications on. You don't never need to be on. Do not disturb if you really want to make some money.

[Mike]

All right, thank you. You have a good one.

[Caller 1]

Y' all have a good day.

[Mike]

All right, I got a question for you. If you overhear someone telling a lie about you that actually benefits you, you do you correct it or do you

[Pat]

let it rock it? It depends on Their tone, okay. Some people try to set you up like I do.

[Mike]

It benefits yourself. It's saying something good about you benefits you.

[Pat]

But sometimes it benefits you too much.

[Mike]

Got you. Okay.

[Pat]

Like, oh, you trying to benefit me too much. Like, yo, my boy got, like, five houses. You know what I'm saying?

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah.

[Pat]

It's like, okay, why would you put five houses on me?

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Now like. Like, six months later, when somebody come back like, yo, bro, you trying to sell one of them houses, it's like, nah, I'm keeping these, man. Where they at?

[Mike]

Pat has all this cash in his house. I don't know why exactly, man.

[Pat]

He keep bankroll on him. He can't. Like, Mike. Mike gave bankroll to Thug. He keep that?

[Mike]

No, but it makes me uncomfortable sometimes. I feel like, when people. Obviously, you never know what impact you have on. On them in their life and stuff like that, but sometimes people, like, over. Like, over exaggerate the. The thing you did for them.

[Pat]

Yes.

[Mike]

Like, this changed my entire life. I wouldn't be living today if it wasn't for, like, no, no, bro, I just borrowed you $5.

[Pat]

And I stopped people from doing that because I know they're about to do that themselves all night. That's the only reason you pumping me up.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Because it's just like. Like, one of our old teammates would come up to me and be like, man, you was the best corner of all time at Lakeland. Okay, No, I wasn't. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? So you're not about to give me that lie and just so you can say your lie. Like, man, I was one of the best, but the coach ain't believe in me.

[Mike]

No, no, no. We used to run to school and like that.

[Pat]

Like, that was a good corner, but you was ass. You're not the greatest all the time. It was ass. We knew we was the doing, man. That's one thing you can't say about certain sports. Like, I get it at the D1 level. Like, somebody might be a scholarship player, you might be a walk on. Like that makes sense, but, like, the. The lower levels of football, like, somebody came to me and told me they played D3 football and the coach was hating on him. Yeah, I got a hard time believing, my brother. I wouldn't say hating on you.

[Mike]

I. We had this conversation earlier. You were saying that you think LeBron's about to retire because you saw him crying at the Cleveland game. You think he's retiring this year?

[Pat]

I'm really thinking of it. Because the one thing I've known with LeBron is during the heat of his career, he wasn't on social media like that. Yeah, he wasn't in the know about that. He didn't really know about streamers or edits or stuff like that even back then. But now he's tapped in, he sees what's going on. So especially with Twitter. What I like about Twitter is that you can type in your name and see exactly what people are saying about you at that time.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

On Facebook, there's no search button like that. Like, if you type in LeBron on Facebook, it's gonna be a bunch of fan pages. Maybe you get a couple statuses. Twitter is the only one where in real time you can type your name in and keep refreshing every single time.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And I believe LeBron is on Twitter and he's. He has technology now and he knows what he's doing, that he can check up on that stuff. And I think he knows the narrative would be that it's all about me. It's all about me. I'm a retire. I want to walk off tour just like Kobe had. And I think he's going to switch that narrative. Like, no, I'm a retire on you. And you know.

[Mike]

So you think he would retire without like the farewell tour?

[Pat]

I. I think he would do like us.

[Mike]

You think the NBA would let him do that?

[Pat]

I think he would do a 10 game stretch.

[Mike]

Got it.

[Pat]

You know what I mean? I feel like he doesn't want.

[Mike]

He'll announce. You think he'll announce it his last like 10 games? Yeah, if he did it.

[Pat]

If they're.

[Mike]

There's definitely.

[Pat]

That's tough though, because it's the playoffs.

[Mike]

So I think.

[Pat]

I don't know how he would ever go off into the sunset. Kobe, he went off into the sunset because he played his last game and he knew they weren't in playoff contention. With LeBron, it could be a Game 7. You don't know if you watching the last.

[Mike]

Yeah, I think for LeBron, he definitely would capitalize on it like in terms of like there's a film crew following him around his last season. Like he's gonna, he's gonna make a documentary about his last season because 100 years from now it's gonna. It could be, you know, some historical ass and everybody. Like we've seen like the Jordan stuff and you see how like PC, the Jordan stuff, like Jordan didn't really control the camera people that are around him at all times. So when you're piecing up a Jordan documentary, it's just like pieces and pieces and pieces of pieces of different, like, things. With LeBron, if, you know, he has under property, he has all the. The. The production studios and like that. So I'm pretty sure they're gonna like, really put together a curated documentary and then obviously sell it it to like, the Netflixes, the Paramounts and stuff like that too.

[Pat]

Okay. I'm a big LeBron fan. Right. Anytime he has a highlight, I go watch it.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And I will say another thing that's very different about him, which means I. This is why I think it's the last season. Every dunk he's had this season, he's over celebrated.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

I've never seen him celebrate. He literally screamed in somebody's face after dunking on him. LeBron's signature is like kind of the dunk on you and kind of not even acknowledge you. Like, I didn't even see who was there. I'm proud, James, you know what I mean? Like, but now, like, he's celebrating. He holding his hand, he looking at it. He not even really like, dapping up teammates as fast. He'll do it after, but he holding his celebration. So, you know, he being filmed or farming right in front of us, and we don't even know it's over. I'm paying whatever for that ticket. Yeah, he gotta play when he in Milwaukee, bro.

[Mike]

Yeah. Did he ever.

[Pat]

Has he usually not. Not in the, like, past three years, he hasn't.

[Mike]

Oh, on our flight here, we noticed something. Y' all know those little air airport waffles they give you on the plane?

[Pat]

The Strudels?

[Mike]

The Strudels?

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

They are only good on the plane. I've never had it outside of the. The plane and it'd be good.

[Pat]

No, I had it outside of the plane.

[Mike]

Really?

[Pat]

Yeah. My. The first. My first trip to London, I had a bunch of.

[Mike]

Of them. Yeah.

[Pat]

Like, I had like three or four,

[Mike]

but it's still from the plane.

[Pat]

Yes. And. But that was my first time, like, having them in a row. Usually I have them and I wasn't even. I caught on late to the waffle, so I wasn't getting them every time. Sometimes I would get the dark chocolate or the trail mix or something just to mix it up.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Pat]

And then I really got on the waffles during the London trip, and I was like, oh, man, I love this. And when I got back to America, I found something that was similar to it, and I had it and I was eating it. I was like, like, what the am I eating? This is Ass.

[Mike]

That's like that theory when they say, like I'm trying to word this correctly, like somebody else's chips always taste better than your chips.

[Pat]

Yeah, I want a bag of chips. I would love to have a bag of chips.

[Mike]

There's always like those random chips that somebody would have. I'll try for the first time. Just like have one bite. Oh, that's pretty good. The second I go buy a whole bag for myself, like this is ass.

[Pat]

Like it should be ass. Man, you ever, you somebody ever gave you five hot Cheetos? Best goddamn hot Cheetos. It's definitely a mindset thing.

[Mike]

I think it is.

[Pat]

It's definitely a mindset thing. And it's. And it's usually the surprise cravings make, I guess make your taste buds better. It's just like, damn, I didn't even know I wanted this. I'm about to get it. But even when I sometimes. That's why I think people have bad times at a restaurant.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Because it's just like, I want a steak. I sit down. Yes. Found a steak. Yes. And you tell it and then you wait on it. And then it's like, like the anticipation and then you judging it way too hard like it was all right. But like, no, that was some good steak, man. You just like anticipating it. But it's like you go to a party and it's or durs going around and they got pieces of steak on there. You're like, damn, that steak. Busting at that. Remember that steak we had? And then we go back and ass. Cuz we anticipated it.

[Mike]

The, the surprise. Good steak. Anything, any food that's always surprisingly good is always tastes the best.

[Pat]

Yes.

[Mike]

Cuz if you have, like you said, high expectations and you go into theirs like it really has to be really, really good. Especially if your homeboy is hyping it up. Because you always know you want to hate a little bit on your homeboy. Finding a good restaurant spot.

[Pat]

I think that's funny that we do that. Anytime someone suggests a restaurant. Sometimes we'll go together.

[Caller 1]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And then we'll watch the person eat it. And it's funny. We never do it off the first bite.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

We make the person wait. We start eating. That's good. He's like, damn, bro, what you think? Now that's top five. You got it, bro. It's like that. No, it's supposed to be damn. But yeah, you make him wait and come on, bro. I'm a real food critic. Yeah. But I serve a six out of 10. No, you ain't tell me that.

[Mike]

Always find the flaw.

[Pat]

No.

[Mike]

There was one lounge at the Brine slot that we talk about that I was mad that you put me on the most.

[Caller 2]

Most.

[Mike]

It's probably the. I had the best. I don't even know. What is it? A margarita, I don't think.

[Pat]

I don't know what it is.

[Mike]

Their cocktail, right?

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Yeah. Probably one of the best cocktails I've ever had. And I was, like, reluctant to give Pat credit for it.

[Pat]

Come on.

[Mike]

I'm, like, drinking. I'm like. And then he. Then I had to sip it because the first one I drank super fast. Like, oh. He's like, damn, that must have been good. I was like. It was. All right, I gotta get another one. I'm sipping the next one and slow

[Pat]

and shit like this. That second one is when you know it's. Because the first one is like, okay.

[Caller 1]

Down.

[Pat]

Trying to figure it out. It's like, oh, shit. That second one, man, I'm telling you. Bone Crusher at Brian's. Do not get it, bro. Do not fucking go there, bro. I'm just playing. That's definitely one of my favorite places. I'm never going again because I just told y'.

[Mike]

All.

[Pat]

Okay, okay. There's another question for you.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Pat]

Very simple, very simple, very simple. Would you rather be loved or respected if you only could choose one, Love or respect by your close family members? Like, close. Like proximity, like girlfriend, mom, dad, best friends.

[Mike]

I think respect.

[Pat]

Respect, yeah.

[Mike]

I think because.

[Pat]

But you're, you know, your girlfriend goes into that, so now she only respects you.

[Mike]

Yeah, That'll do it. Like that. The sex just becomes a task.

[Pat]

You don't even care no more. You make sure you know she don't care.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Hey, at least I'm respected. Nah, bro.

[Mike]

Nah, bro.

[Pat]

I.

[Mike]

What would you choose? Because if what they deal with love is, oh, you can hurt the people you love.

[Pat]

Yeah, I'd rather be loved. Like, I don't need nobody respect, bro. And I.

[Mike]

You don't think so?

[Pat]

No. Hell no.

[Caller 2]

Okay.

[Mike]

I guess you're. You're a big. You just give the disrespect back.

[Pat]

Yeah, man. I'd rather be like, you know those homeless dudes that everybody take care of?

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And it's just like, damn, I know he not homeless, but he just don't be. He just don't want to be in nobody home. That's what I'm gonna be at that point. I just want the love, baby. Like, they still invite me to the cookouts, but, like, I Can't go get no silverware from inside. Somebody bring him out of fort. Okay, you know, I'll steal no more. I'm done stealing.

[Mike]

I didn't go to a lot of cookouts growing up.

[Pat]

You didn't?

[Caller 1]

No.

[Mike]

Oh, no, not really, man.

[Pat]

I went to a lot of cook house, bro.

[Mike]

I think because like obviously Nigeria mentioned being Nigerian as well. I think think a lot of the American holidays that they were celebrated like people barbecue on Memorial Day and stuff like that too, right? So we never did know like barbecue, stuff like that. And I feel like a lot of people here too have like family reunions and like that. I don't have that because my only, my immediate family is really here. That's that I would go to a reunion for. So I feel like I missed out on like a lot of like the, the cookouts. I would go like with friends and sometimes, but like I feel like I could have gone to, to more cookouts.

[Pat]

That helped you though. You'll be broke right now.

[Mike]

You think so?

[Pat]

If you knew all your cousins, you'll be broke. Broke, yeah. One I'm gonna definitely loop you into a scam. He's like, man, I got you, man. Listen man, we about to build a whole school in this.

[Mike]

You know a lot of your cousins though?

[Pat]

Oh yeah, I know a lot of my cousins, but my cousin is hustlers though. They. They go get it.

[Mike]

You don't think mines would be hustlers, huh? Yeah, I think mines would be hustlers.

[Pat]

Come on now, man.

[Mike]

Come on now. What do you mean, huh? And they're Nigerian? They're hard working people.

[Pat]

Yes, exactly. Yeah, exactly. So I know if you was talking to one about that they were scamming you just flat out.

[Mike]

No, they're gonna, they're gonna get. The Nigerians gonna get at you, bro.

[Pat]

But I'm saying that I know Nigerians are very hardworking. Every time I see a Nigerian, he a doctor, blah, blah, cop, a plea

[Mike]

cop a plea who?

[Pat]

I ain't coping no plea.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah, go ahead.

[Pat]

But I'm saying on the other side, scamming us Guyans, don't be doing that, bro. All right. What part of your personality was built from your trauma? If you can only pick one. Oh, so you gotta think of a time that you had trauma and now where they my therapist or some enhances your personality. This is what I don't like about therapy sometimes. Because if I get asked a simple ass question like this in therapy, I'm pissed. Like, no, no, wait.

[Caller 1]

No way.

[Pat]

I'm Paying you for this?

[Mike]

No, it sometimes starts with the simple stuff.

[Pat]

Nah, that simple. Ask me, ask me. When I got jumped in a fifth grade, did it affect my eyesight?

[Mike]

I feel like my dad taking me like to random. Like I would say my dad used to sell like a lot of import export of like computers and stuff like that. So we drive to like Detroit, like eight hour trips. He's breaking all like the child labor, stuff like that. But it made me be like very like observant and like want to learn and stuff like that. So I'm like a big, big observer and a big learner. So I think that would be like one of the things that it was traumatic because I was like, I hate it going like. And my dad always liked me going because I didn't fall asleep like my brothers in the car and like that. So I was always like, give him conversations for him and make the trip go a little quicker. And once I learned that and I tried to start sleeping in the car, but I can't really sleep and like that. So it's like it was a gift in the curse. So. But yeah, I would say that would be like mine. What was yours?

[Pat]

Mine?

[Mike]

There's about to be more. A lot more. A lot more funny.

[Pat]

No, no, no, I don't think it's funny. But my dad, my dad used to cut people off quick as hell. You know what I'm saying? Like, and I'm a person that moved around a lot. Yeah, Like, I like moved here. I never before college, I had never stayed a place more than three years. Like it was always three years, get up, move to this state. Three years, get up, move to this state. Back and forth. So when, when I moved with my dad, that was kind of like, oh, I got my cousins from both sides of the family in the city. I got, I got friends that I'm going to school with that I grew up with before. So this is the most family and friends I ever had. And now it's time to like strive for those extra connections, like an uncle or auntie who. Not really your uncle or auntie, but my dad cut off gang was strong. It'll be like somebody I'm calling auntie for two years straight and I don't see him for 10 years. I'm like, dad, what happened to auntie Titi?

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And it's just like, man, her.

[Mike]

When your dad,

[Pat]

she stole $10, she gone.

[Mike]

When your dad cut people off, does that mean you as a kid too had to cut them off as well?

[Pat]

Oh yeah. For sure.

[Mike]

Or was it just because you just wouldn't be around them anymore? Because obviously you're, you're a kid.

[Pat]

So my dad was always around. So it's just like he always around. Like always. Like he see me. Yeah, he'd be knowing what I'm doing. He'd tell me one time I hooped and he told me I came back to the house. He was like, yeah, you need to get back on defense. How the hell you see that? Like he, like, so he saw everything. So once he cut them off, it was over.

[Mike]

Yeah. Was there ever a point where you had to stop asking permission to leave the house? Like what? Like, did you know that, oh, I don't have to ask this anymore. Or was it just when you moved out?

[Pat]

The thing, the thing about me, if anybody know Pontiac, like, I live in Wallpark Manor and like at the time that I was growing up, you don't walk out unaccounted for. Like, it's literally gangs posted up and like people this shooting dice over here. Shooting and shit.

[Mike]

Like, take it wasn't find my, find my iPhone.

[Pat]

Hell no. You don't go nowhere. I used to tell my dad, my whole pallet, I'm about to go a mile this way. But you, you would bike all over the city and stuff like that, but you definitely got to be accounted for.

[Mike]

Yeah. Did you.

[Pat]

You left?

[Mike]

I did. Up to a certain point, I feel like, I think because it was. I feel like I didn't live in a house. I lived in like a 20, 30 story building, stuff like that. So it was just like a lot of steps to like leave the house in a sense. Like you go downstairs and you go going through the security people and then everybody's seeing you. So I feel like in that sense I had to always ask permission. But I feel like I was like, I would say I want to go a place where I knew they would say yes to. Like, I'm going to go to the library or some and then, then parlay. That's when you used to have to wear like be dressed for every occasion when you left the house. The shorts under the, the jeans.

[Pat]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. I used to, I used to trick my dad though. I knew I was like, damn, he'll let me go with anything sports related.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

So the girl I was talking to will always be like, man, why you always got a football? Just case my dad pop up. Yeah. Like, I'll be chilling with a girl and I see my dad pulling up around the corner. I'm like, hey, go date Go date. We've been out here working all day. What'd you say, Pop?

[Mike]

I think my thing was my footwear. I would always have to wear, like, flip flops to make sure they didn't, like, they knew I was just like, like. Or just like, regular shoes, not, like basketball shoes.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

So they don't think you're about to go outside. My thing was like, I'll try to take the trash out, but then I'll put, like, my shoes with the trash. Right? Take the trash out, then leave my shoes outside in the hallway and go back into the house. And then, you know, go off like regular Degla. And then just put my shoes on in the elevator and like that.

[Pat]

See, every. Everybody had that traumatic experience. I don't know if it was once, twice, it could have been 10 times. Growing up in your childhood, there's something that you have planned that your friends are going to and you originally had permission to go to that thing. So you all geeked up and something happens. Whether it's a fight with your siblings. It could be, you know, a change of plans where you don't have a ride to that and the plans get canceled and that. You just can't believe it.

[Mike]

Yeah, you just can't believe it.

[Pat]

They're like, what you mean I'm not going to the school party? No, you're not going to a school party. You got into it with your sisters. What?

[Caller 2]

What?

[Pat]

And then you in your room like, nah. And you, you start looking at your door like, she about to come in anytime and tell me it's okay. I can go.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Now she about to come in anytime. Yeah, this.

[Mike]

Yeah. And parents be acting like they've. Like they. You never had that conversation. Especially Nigerian parents. And mostly, I would say a lot of foreign parents that. Talking back about, like, are you insinuating that I forgot this thing?

[Pat]

Exactly. That the manipulation. Yeah, the manipulation. Just like, man, you know, you go ask your mom this. This I did used to do wrong. Because I still do this sometimes as a grown man. I do stuff with my back against the wall. But if you need another person, it kind of puts the pressure on them too. So you'd just be like, go to your mom. Like, yeah, man, I need a poster board for my science project that's due tomorrow. It's like, what, what the fuck you mean it was due tomorrow? It's six o' clock on a. On a Thursday night, and a project due Friday. You in Walmart, your mama shopping, mad as hell. What else the. You need? I need I gotta make a volcano too.

[Caller 2]

What?

[Mike]

Especially when you say something that you need to go to another store for. Oh my gosh.

[Pat]

Another thing, they said they need some cans for the can. You about to have our family looking like we broke. I ain't got no cans. Another thing, they need you to volunteer

[Mike]

the now reading your parents as a chaperone without telling them the day of.

[Pat]

I didn't know I'd never see you go to work.

[Caller 1]

I knew.

[Pat]

I thought you was available.

[Caller 1]

I work from home.

[Mike]

My dad, we used to like have to like record him like sometimes the conversations we have because then he'd be wrong and be like, I played it back for from. He's like, see, this is when you said. He's like, why are you recording me? Are you the FBI? That's toxic. No, he talks to my dad.

[Pat]

No, that's some toxic pops. No, I. I feel like all parents growing up was toxic. Like I've. There's never been a time where I was right.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

So you telling me. Let's say we argue. You know, you went back and forth with your parent a thousand times through life before 18 and you were never right in their eyes. So that means there's one time like the best times is when you say something to your parent and be like, shut up. You don't know such and such. And then you see it and then they actually go do what you say. You'll be in the backseat like, yeah, turn left like I said. Turn this around like I told you it was back there.

[Mike]

I feel like we're going to be the same as parents too. I think think we're gonna think we know everything because we. I feel like especially now, we've gone through a lot in our lives, just like different life events and stuff like that. And then when you have a 9 year old, 10 year old thinking they know all about life, it's like, bro, you don't even know.

[Pat]

Nah.

[Mike]

And it's like, it's like it's not gonna be me. Yo, I.

[Pat]

My son. I. I think I've been correct about my son like four or five times already in life. I'm like, damn, dad, that's stupid. You write stupid. Slap me. Get it ready for life. When somebody wrong about somebody and you write, call him stupid. Get the up. Let's practice. All right, here go uncle Mike.

[Mike]

And especially not telling me any like

[Pat]

that uncle might tell him two plus two is fine.

[Mike]

I think your son your definitely got gots it in for me because that one time we playing soccer and oh, yeah. I blasted his son with a soccer ball trying to joke around.

[Pat]

And my son didn't cry.

[Mike]

Cry? No, he didn't cry either.

[Pat]

He got up.

[Mike]

He got up.

[Pat]

He got up and reached for a strap. I said, we left it in the car. Now he reached on. I was trying.

[Mike]

I was trying to fake kick the. Paul, the ball past his head super fast. And I'm telling you, he's standing three feet away from me, and I actually blasted him in his face. And I was like, oh, my gosh.

[Pat]

No, you got. You gotta watch mic around kids. He way too rough.

[Mike]

Hey, that's how I'm a tough person. A tough person.

[Pat]

No, that's crazy.

[Mike]

I'm about to say a tough boy.

[Pat]

Tough boy is crazy.

[Mike]

Oh, man. All right, I got a question for you. What's something that you have to. What's something that you had to unlearn as an adult?

[Pat]

What I had to unlearn as an adult was money that appears out of nowhere.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Pat]

When I was in college, for some reason, there was always money that appeared out of nowhere. Like, I would make a certain amount of money. Let's say I made a thousand dollars a month in college, right. And I would spend a thousand dollars worth during the month, but I would still have three or four hundred dollars worth of bills due.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

When I was in college, you're getting money from different people. Like, you know. You know, your auntie might throw you a hundred, your mom might throw you 200 until you go get some groceries and stuff. So that money coming back in, he like, ah, I got the extra money.

[Caller 1]

Money.

[Pat]

When you grow up, if you don't budget, like, damn, I'm 50. Shirt for rent.

[Mike]

Come on, man, 50 shorts, boy, when

[Pat]

I see that paragraph on people front door, I'd be like, God damn, man.

[Mike]

I'm not gonna lie. I'd be like, whoa.

[Pat]

You know what I mean? It's just like. Like either you didn't calculate it or something went catastrophically wrong. Like with rent, obviously, they tell you you're supposed to make three times your rent, and it's for that reason. So if you fall on hard times, you technically can still afford it, right to the te. Like, they make $2,000 a month. They got a $800 car note, and they rent $1100, and they think they going to make $100 stretch. You have one bad month. If you buy air too much, but you literally pay for air too much, you might be short 25 cent.

[Mike]

I'm. I'm bad with the. The percentage Right now, probably. But it was like 40% something of Americans can't afford an emergency. Just one emergency that happens. Like, it's like, what is.

[Pat]

Like, what is the price of an emergency? And what do you call it? Emergency?

[Mike]

I would say, like, an emergency is like your car, like, breaking down.

[Pat]

Okay.

[Mike]

Like. Or like your car needs like a. Like, I just had to get my brake pads and my rotors changed.

[Pat]

Right, right. That's an emergency.

[Mike]

That's like. That's like money that you weren't really expecting to spend.

[Pat]

And your brakes could go out. You could literally die.

[Mike]

Yeah. So it's like something you have to, like, really do. So it's like a lot of people don't have that. That. That extra income to do stuff like that. So. I don't know. It's scary, though.

[Pat]

The first I think you saw I told you to watch this movie. It's called Mate. You watched that, right?

[Mike]

I think so. Yes.

[Pat]

Yes. It was like, basically, this woman has gone through life. She had an abusive boyfriend, and she was trying to find different ways to make money. And she was actually a hard worker. Like, she busted her ass and she got a kid.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And it was showing her how she earned money and she was getting her money up. Getting her money up. And it's like a very progressive story as a. As a listener and a looker. You start to get happy for the character. Like.

[Mike]

Yes.

[Pat]

Yeah. She get her money up, and she ran into, like, two or three problems. Like her car broke down, the babysitter she had to pay canceled on her. So she had to find a new babysitter. And you saw the money subtracting and subtracting to the point that she had zero dollars at some point and then had to end up going back to live with the abusive boyfriend. And it's just like, so many Americans are close. Like, they're just one emergency away from being back to the bottom. And it takes so much to, like, pile all that money up.

[Mike]

Especially, like, people that have a lot of family here. Like, like, like you said, I don't have a. It's only my immediate family that's here. Right. So it's just like, even if they have emergency and now, like, being, you know, making good money and stuff like that, there's like, you know, you can help. It's like a comfortable amount of help. They don't really ask me for help at all. But it's like sometimes you, like, you know, you can give them money and this and that, but when you, like, you, you probably have A lot of cousins and people, like family members and stuff like that. So he's like, I feel like more people here, there's like, more responsibilities for people too, that. That can bring the them down as well, in a sense where it's like, I have to rely on, like, I'm close with like eight family members. Nine family members. And like, obviously any of them fall on an emergency or need something like that, I'll help. But it's like the chances now it's like eight, nine chances of that happening where it can happen out of nowhere. My chances probably are like, really two people damn near, you know.

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly who you would be responsible for. And that. It's a. It's not a good feeling feeling. Yeah, it's not a good feeling when somebody fall on their knuckles. You're like, damn, I'm the person they gotta rely on. It's like, everybody wants to be a good person. And it's easy to be a good person without money.

[Caller 2]

Yeah.

[Pat]

But with money involved like that, I gotta be a good person and give you some money. And I'm like, you know, you start looking in somebody's situation, they telling you more information, like, oh, you started calculating, like, damn, I'm never getting my money back.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Like, this is gone.

[Mike]

But anyway, man, that's been the pod. Appreciate y' all for listening in. Make sure you guys subscribe to Patreon. We just dropped an episode there. Live show. We're gonna announce more dates. We're just doing these first four dates, but by the time the next. By the time the next podcast drops, we'll have like a legit. A full. Like every state you guys can think of, like the major cities.

[Pat]

Right.

[Mike]

What's some niche ones that we might be going to?

[Pat]

Birmingham.

[Mike]

Birmingham, Alabama. Niche. Pittsburgh. Is Pittsburgh niche?

[Pat]

I would say. No, please. I feel like Pittsburgh is a big city.

[Mike]

Like.

[Pat]

Yeah, you go to Pennsylvania? Sometimes I go up. I guess Philly would also be kind of on that. Boston, New York.

[Mike]

Charlotte. Charlotte.

[Pat]

I don't. Charlotte. Man, we gonna rock out.

[Mike]

Charlotte. Charlotte. I'm excited about that.

[Pat]

I'm very excited.

[Mike]

And Houston, Austin, you guys. I Ted. Major cities. So you guys. Yeah, the Florida's.

[Pat]

Yeah, actually.

[Mike]

Let us know where you should go in Florida. I know, Tampa. Then where else in Florida?

[Pat]

Our Florida's still open, so. Yeah, let us know about Florida also. Merch coming soon again.

[Mike]

Should be. But we'll tell you next episode. But it should be on sale by next episode.

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah. So also keep coming, keep subscribing make sure y' all subscribe on YouTube wherever you watch it, make sure you subscribing and supporting us. Join the Patreon again. We definitely got some new stuff coming your way.

[Caller 1]

All right?

[Mike]

Peace. Peace.