Kool Kidz Kennel - Episode 244

Summary

Crash Dummies Podcast with Pat and Mike

Episode 244: Kool Kidz Kennels
Date: February 4, 2026

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Overview

In this lively episode, Pat and Mike riff on random and relatable topics—ranging from selective hearing and male friendships, to movie debates, to wild caller confessions. The hosts blend banter, cultural commentary, and listener stories with their trademark humor, covering scenarios that almost certainly won’t happen. A recurring theme is the complexity of relationships—romantic, platonic, and even to money itself—and how self-awareness (or the lack thereof) leads to hilarity and hard truths.

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Episode Highlights & Key Topics

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1. Selective Hearing & Social Interactions (00:00-04:11)

• Pat admits his selective hearing is "kind of sexist":
  He pays more attention to women but regularly forgets men's names right after introductions.

  • "When I walk away from them, I'm like, what was a name?" – Pat (00:23)
  • The awkwardness of having to ask a man his name again, which leads to humorous imagined altercations.

• Saving Numbers and Social Favors:
  Mike calls out Pat for not saving contacts, especially problematic when group chats or favors arise.

  • "You'd be like, hey bro, who are you talking [about]?" – Mike (02:15)

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2. Show Announcements & Tour Banter (03:23-05:11)

• Announcing live tour dates across Indiana (Indianapolis), St. Louis, Seattle, and Portland, with Pat reminding fans to show receipts of ticket purchases when reaching out.
• Reminder of previous Chicago show selling out quickly.

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3. Movie Debate: Nick Cannon vs. Bow Wow (05:11-09:45)

• Debate over whose movie catalog reigns supreme:
  • Bow Wow: Like Mike, Roll Bounce, Lottery Ticket
  • Nick Cannon: Love Don’t Cost a Thing, Drumline
• Pat argues for Drumline as more iconic, Mike pushes for Like Mike's childhood impact.
  • "Drumline is a masterpiece…" – Pat (07:23)
  • "Like Mike is better than– than Drumline." – Mike (07:15)
• Discussion about the impact of these films, the believability factor of NBA stars in Like Mike, and nostalgia for bad choreography in sports movies.

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4. Dating Shows & The Absurdity of Reality TV (10:00-11:13)

• Reminiscing about MTV’s Date My Mom, its weird premise, and how the gender roles would never fly reversed.
  • "Imagine the girl having to go on a date with the dad..." – Pat (10:55)

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5. Money, Power & Vindictiveness (11:13-13:59)

• Question: "Do you think money will change you or reveal you?"
  Pat and Mike dissect how sudden wealth shifts perspectives—not just purchases, but relationships and sense of safety.
  • "My contact list going down to five" – Pat (12:05)
  • The potential for pettiness with money: buying every ticket at a movie just to spite someone.
• Pondering if being broke "saves" people from acting erratically, referencing the billionaire submarine disaster as an example.

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6. Emotional Maturity vs. Laziness & Relationship Games (14:00-17:57)

• Is being "nonchalant" a sign of emotional maturity, or laziness?
  • Mike: Sometimes it's laziness to avoid a problem.
  • Pat: Even therapeutic advice can be weaponized for pettiness, such as taking "space."
• The art of fighting in relationships—using calmness or nonchalance to antagonize, flipping the narrative.
  • "I'm going to piss you off in a way that if you call me out, I could flip it on you..." – Pat (15:37)

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7. Cultural & Racial Double Standards in Arguments (16:14-18:00)

• Discussion about how black men vs. white men are perceived when they express anger in arguments.
  • "White dudes get away with a lot with what they say..." – Pat (16:14)

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8. Handshake Anxiety & Reading Social Cues (18:30-19:35)

• The confusion of choosing the right handshake, especially across cultures or with "cultured" white friends.
  • "Some dudes be trying to turn my [handshake] into the seven mile handshake..." – Pat (19:05)

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9. Call-In Segment: Unpopular Opinions & Relationship Confessions

A. "Karma Cheater" Caller (22:08-26:45)

• Unpopular Opinion: If someone admits to cheating in the past, the caller feels justified to cheat on them in the future, becoming "karma" himself.
  • "These women be believing in crystals and the moon. They got to start believing in karma. That's me, dog." – Caller (22:29)
• Ends with emotional backstory about high school sweetheart infidelity.

B. "Loser Ideology" Caller (27:00-30:51)

• Complains about men with double standards; admits listening to the pod at work and discusses balance in how Pat gives advice.
  • Callers and hosts agree that social media and public commentary can fuel extremes.

C. "Better to Be Fat" Caller (34:09-38:51)

• Claims life is better "fat than fit" due to enjoying food and relaxation, but admits health risks.
  • "I'm a cute fat, though." – Caller (38:41)

D. "Sneaky Link" Caller (40:25-45:18)

• Frustrated about a sneaky link who’s a bad liar and not communicative enough.
  • Reveals complex emotions and wants real connection, but can't leave due to the fun and chemistry.

E. "All Men Are Gay Except Me" Segment (47:03-49:25)

• Lighthearted, conspiratorial claim that "all men are gay besides me," which evolves into a deeper chat about sexual openness and relationship dynamics.
  • Girlfriend describes ex-boyfriend suggesting a threesome with another man, leading to side-eye but "no judgment."
• Funny banter about partners "wearing the pants."

F. "Condoms Are Pointless" Caller (53:48-55:26)

• Claims condoms are useless since he got an STD even with protection, sparking jokes from the hosts about safe sex.

G. "Worst Thing You’ve Done" Callers (55:35-69:44)

• Tales of revenge cheating, dangerous linkups, and dodging gunfire after being caught with another's partner.
  • "The next question I say, do he got guns? [She] said yes." – Caller (68:02)
  • Callers repeatedly emphasize "growth" or claim they've changed their ways.

H. Miscellaneous Callers (73:36-79:17):

• Debating what makes a good boyfriend (cooking, date ideas).
• Rant about unreliable weed plugs.
  • "If you’re trying to sell weed, you need to be available all the time, at least for a text back..." – Caller (77:42)

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10. Larger Life Questions & Observations

Letting Positive Lies Persist (79:18-81:01)

• Are you morally obligated to correct a lie about yourself that benefits you, or let it slide?
  • Both agree some lies inflate ego too much and can backfire.

LeBron James Retirement Speculation (81:30-84:50)

• Pat predicts LeBron, due to his celebratory behavior and social media vigilance, may retire soon, possibly without a full farewell tour, instead opting for a brief announcement.
• Speculate about the depth of a final season documentary.

Food Tastes Better by Surprise or When Shared (84:51-88:41)

• A theory: airplane waffles, snacks, or friends’ chips always seem to taste better in context or when shared.
• Anticipation can ruin the experience; surprise enhances it.

Love vs. Respect (88:45-91:03)

• Would you rather be loved or respected by your closest people?
  • Mike opts for respect; Pat for love.
  • Discussion on how each impacts relationships and self-worth.

Family, Culture & Childhood Lessons (91:03-101:29)

• Pat and Mike recount how family trauma and moving shaped their personalities—Pat's learned to cut people off swiftly; Mike became an observant, resourceful problem-solver.
• Reminiscences about seeking parental permission, sneaking around, and the trauma of canceled childhood plans.
• Cultural differences in family gatherings (e.g., cookouts) and Nigerian vs. American upbringing.

Financial Reality Check & Growing Up (101:41-106:05)

• The rude awakening of adulthood: unexpected expenses, budgeting, and the reality that "money doesn't appear out of nowhere" anymore.
  • "When I was in college, for some reason there was always money that appeared out of nowhere..." – Pat (101:41)
• The vulnerability of being "one emergency away" from disaster, especially when responsible for extended family.

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Notable Quotes

• "These women be believing in crystals and the moon. They got to start believing in karma. That's me, dog." (22:29 – Karma Cheater Caller)
• "Drum line is a masterpiece...It was the first time where somebody literally got something off not being able to read..." (07:23 – Pat)
• "You can literally be in shape and still have all those crash out days. You just gotta work hard on the days that you're not eating all that." (37:08 – Pat)
• "My contact list going down to five." (12:05 – Pat, on suddenly becoming a billionaire)
• "Sometimes when you have a lot of money, it makes you do like a lot of more random shit—like go on submarines that blow up in the middle of the ocean." (12:45 – Mike)
• "I'm a cute fat, though...according to your girlfriend, though. That's it." (38:41 – Fat Is Better Caller, with Hosts)
• "Being broke saves people's lives." (13:05 – Mike)
• "All men are gay besides me." (47:03 – Caller)
• "If you're trying to sell weed, you need to be available all the time, at least for a text back." (77:42 – Weed Plug Caller)
• "I'd rather be like those homeless dudes that everybody take care of. I just want the love, baby. Like, they still invite me to the cookouts..." (90:06 – Pat, on love over respect)

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Format & Tone

• The episode is loose, conversational, and punctuated by frequent friendly roasts between Pat and Mike.
• Listener “hotline” segments bring in additional wild, honest, confessional, or hilarious perspectives from fans—sometimes leading to guided “therapy,” sometimes to absolute chaos.
• The style is both comical and candid, oscillating between jokes, real-life advice, and relatable takes.

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Time-stamped Key Moments

| Timestamp | Segment/Topic | |------------|------------------------------------------------------| | 00:00 | Selective hearing and remembering names | | 05:11 | Bow Wow vs. Nick Cannon movie debate | | 09:45 | MTV dating show nostalgia | | 11:13 | Would money change or reveal you? | | 14:00 | Nonchalant: maturity or laziness? | | 22:08 | Cheater-on-cheater “Karma” philosophy caller | | 38:41 | Fat vs. fit lifestyle debate with caller | | 47:03 | “All men are gay except me” joke/caller | | 53:48 | Caller: condoms are “pointless” | | 55:35 | “Worst thing you’ve done?” caller confession block | | 79:18 | Benefiting lies—correct or let ‘em ride? | | 81:30 | LeBron James: will he retire soon? | | 84:51 | Airplane food & the element of surprise | | 88:45 | Love vs. respect: which is more important? | | 91:03 | How trauma/family shaped their personalities | | 101:41 | The adulthood reality: unexpected expenses |

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Note: Advertisement, intro/outro, and promo segments have been omitted for clarity per instruction.

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Final Thoughts

Crash Dummies 244 is quintessential Pat & Mike: a blend of irreverence, honesty, and insightful anecdotes, supercharged by eclectic listener calls. Whether debating iconic ‘00s movies, reflecting on childhood scars, or mediating between “karma cheaters” and stoned philosophers, it’s a punchy, unpredictable episode that will make you laugh and—just maybe—make you rethink how you handle money, love, and the group chat.

Transcript

[A]

I'm dealing with something right now. I'm fighting a battle of the. The battle of like me battling against my selective hearing. Like, I have really bad selective hearing and it sucks because I'm kind of sexist. Like with women, most of the time I give them all my attention when.

[B]

They tell me, okay, you have some self reflection.

[A]

I remember. But with dudes, it's like they tell me their name and when I walk away from them, I'm like, what was a name? But then I have to question myself. What were you thinking about that you didn't retain his name? Pat, what were you doing? And it's the thought that goes in my head when I meet like a new dude. And I'm like, man, I would really beat the out this.

[B]

Oh my God.

[A]

So he started imagining, what if he say your name? Well, like, what would I do? You know, you think in the scenarios, like, I should stab this. But it's just messing messed up. And. And I realized that just being on this trip, I've been more attentive about names. And when I meet people, yeah, what's your name? Because it's been two times where I walked away and I was like, damn, what is his name? And sometimes you're scared to engage back with that person because you don't know their name. Like, damn. In this situation, to get his attention, I have to call his name. It's too many people to play. No, no, no, no. Hey, hey, him. What's your name?

[B]

Mark.

[A]

Oh, Derek, my phone.

[B]

So is bro. Yeah, I feel like with women's harder to like when you forget their name because it's like you can't use the what up, bro? You know, like that type of thing.

[A]

Have you ever got stumped by a woman that did that?

[B]

What?

[A]

One time in my life, I learned my lesson quick. I was like 19 and I went up to a woman. I just reminded her of something she said and she laughed and she said that was funny. She's like, what's my name? I said, oh, this is awkward.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I said, what's my name? She said, Patrick Johnson Jr. I was like, oh. She's like, exactly. And walked away. And I was like, that's so dumb. I still don't know your name. She could at least told me her name for you.

[B]

You're bad at that though, because you also don't save numbers because then we'll be in group chats and then you'd be like, hey, bro, who are you talking?

[A]

Is this especially when somebody asks for a favor? Yeah, you'd be like, oh, such and such Texas. I'd be like, who is that? They'd be like, joe. Joe from the gym. 15 years ago. 15 years. Like, when we was in college, man, that.

[B]

Especially the ones where it's like, when somebody asks for something and I say yes for both of us, and you, like, don't know who that person is. Wait, what are you. Who are you saying yes to?

[A]

Mike quick to volunteer. Somebody might be like, yeah, bro, we got a beach party on the 5th, too. I'm like, beach party? Yeah, bro. My boy from Nigeria I used to hoop with, he needed to say a few words. At the beach party, you don't got no choice.

[B]

The thing that Pat. That's why Pat's a good friend, because Pat will always go along with it. Like, he'll be like, all right, let's do it. If it's me when he does that, Come on now. No, he.

[A]

This dude, he'll leave you in the middle of something if you don't with it. You're like, yeah, bro, I got this speech at the White House. Yeah, bro. I'm not pulling up, bro.

[B]

Nah, I can't.

[A]

Too many riots going on, bro.

[B]

Anyway, welcome to crash dummies, episode 244. I'm Mike. We got Pat here. We're in LA, man. That's why you. Obviously, anytime you see us here, we're at TMG Studios. What else I got with some squad. Squad, Squad. Patreon still half off, right? We have merch coming out and what everybody's been waiting for. We're going on tour. So for the first leg. So we're gonna start doing more announcement. They're giving us the dates and like that. So February 24th, we're gonna be in Indiana at the helium. And February 25th, we're gonna be in St. Louis. And then March 24th and March 25th, we're going to be in Seattle and Portland at the Helium as well. So we're going to put that information in the bio. It should be crashdummies live.com by the time this comes out or just you see in the link in the description.

[A]

Okay, so as far as people DMing me or Mike or the Crash from me's page, whatever it may be, you'll get a better response if you show the ticket. You're not. We're not about to have a conversation talking about, yeah, bro, I'm going to see you there. Nah, bro, we not playing that deadbeat, man.

[B]

Yeah, come out to the show. Indiana and St. Louis is the first date. So Indianapolis. Indianapolis, yeah. Okay. What did I say?

[A]

Indiana.

[B]

Oh, the whole state, I guess.

[A]

You know what I mean?

[C]

Where? Where?

[B]

I said city and state, Gary.

[A]

Talking about they. They show up to the show. It's not this one. Ah, the say Indiana.

[B]

All the exact locations will be in the description. Show out this time. Make sure you guys get the tickets early because last time with the Chicago show, everybody knows that it sold out super, super quickly.

[A]

I'm telling y', all, it's going quick not to. This ain't no humble brag either. This shit's flying off.

[B]

I actually got a question for you, and I think it was. It stemmed from a conversation that me, Gene, and you probably was having movie for.

[A]

Is that what. That's a terrible structure of that, but go ahead. Me, Gene, and you. The English teacher would have been like, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[B]

Say that again.

[A]

I hate.

[B]

Like, it's like, don't ever put yourself first.

[A]

Yeah, no, no.

[B]

Me, me.

[A]

Me and the guys.

[B]

Movie for movie. Who do you think has the best movies? Nick Cannon or Bow wow?

[A]

Nick Cannon or Bow wow. What are Bow Wow's movies?

[B]

We got roll, bounce.

[A]

Roll, bounce.

[B]

We got.

[A]

Like, Mike.

[B]

Like Mike. Come on. And one and two.

[A]

One and two.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay, let's stick with number one.

[B]

I don't think he was even in Mike like Mike too.

[C]

No.

[A]

Okay. Nick Cannon got Love Don't Cost a Thing. Which. Which is the best movie.

[B]

You think?

[A]

So out of the group, it has to be Love Don't Cost a Thing.

[B]

Okay, so Baba was in, let's see, Shad Moss.

[A]

Oh, yeah, call him Shot Moss, bro. Have some respect.

[B]

That's true, that's true.

[A]

Some. Respectfully, before you not come on the show, bro, it's like, yeah, I was gonna rock with y', all, but y' all keep calling me Bow Wow.

[B]

With Bow got like, Mike, obviously. That's easy one. Okay, there's Robounce.

[A]

Robounce. But you gotta get that also to me.

[B]

Ah, come on. Now. That is. Who had the bigger part in Robo, though. Bow wow is in the middle of the poster, so that's definitely his movie.

[A]

No, it's definitely Bow Wow's main character. Okay, that's fine.

[B]

And then we got Lottery Ticket.

[A]

Lottery Ticket. Okay. I got Love Don't Cost a Thing. Right? Which is. Which is killing all.

[B]

You think so?

[A]

And then the love.

[B]

Love Don't Cost a Thing. Over, like, Mike.

[A]

Okay, let's say that's the debate. Whatever.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Drumline is over all of it.

[B]

You think so.

[A]

Or like, Mike drum line over like, Mike.

[B]

No, no, Like, Mike is, like, legit, legit. Like, everybody's seen that movie.

[A]

You're drunk. It's February, bro. Like, Mike give me, like, a piece of your black heart. Like, you get to keep your.

[B]

Like, Mike is better than. Than drumline. Drum line is better than, like, Mike.

[A]

Drum line up there, bro.

[B]

It's up there. Drumline is goaded.

[A]

Drum line is a masterpiece. Like Michael Jordan, bro. Come on. Is a masterpiece. It, like, fake it till you make it. Like, it was the first time where somebody literally got something off. Not being able to read. Like, couldn't read you. Got you. And then nigga was angry that he was. He couldn't read music. Talking about y' all hating on me. No, man, we just want you to be able to read the choreography and not do a solo out of nowhere.

[B]

Yeah. I think with, like, Mike, it for. As a kid, too. It gave you hope that you can do greater things in life.

[A]

And drumline showed you that if a nigga drum on your drum, you beat the fuck off, that it start a brawl. That's what you do. Don't drum on my drum, bruh. No, drumline is definitely more iconic than, like, Mike. But I get what you're saying. Like, growing up like Mike, especially if you know you of that age, it's crazy to you. It's like, oh, damn, if I put on shoes. Because every kid wanted to instantly be good at something, especially when you're growing up. Like, damn, I love to be great at basketball or football and be the best ever.

[B]

So when I remember, like, Mike, I was so annoyed that I couldn't find the fucking team on the game.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

I used to think I was like, oh, where's the team? Where's the team? It wasn't on, like, 2K or was it NBA Live back then? I was so pissed. I got.

[A]

It's a funny thing from that movie that somebody tweeted. I never noticed is a lot of the players are there, right? But Allen Iverson isn't there. He was never in a movie. Like, they never interacted. So every time they went to Allen Iverson, it was just, like, real game footage. It was like. It was like, no, it's just another cut scene. It was like they never touched or never interacted.

[B]

Oh, damn. I didn't notice that.

[A]

Like, some of them players wasn't even there.

[B]

I thought Morris. Morris Chestnut was a real NBA player, but without the.

[A]

But listen, this is why, like, Mike cheated a little bit. And this is why Drumline is better. No shade to, like, Mike. They use real NBA players. And, like, Mike.

[B]

Yes. Right.

[A]

That's like. Come on now.

[B]

Come on now. Make it more believable.

[A]

That's cheating. No, High School Musical use all real. It's like this Corbin Blue out there balling. They couldn't even hope for it. Nah.

[B]

It's looking back at a lot of those shows. It's like, damn. Like, a lot of the choreography. Choreography. And like the. The basketball movies is like. Oh, this is really bad.

[A]

We talked about this before, but we always talk about the double teamed.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[A]

The. The twins, the white blondes. And it was doing that pivot move.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That Candace Parker clamping that up. That is clamp. Don't nobody want to see that.

[B]

Oh, man. I also. I think. I think we talked about this before was the. The dating shows, right? I saw another dating show that I forgot about was Date my Mom or something like that on mtv where they go. Exactly. It was like very.

[A]

That boy was watching us.

[B]

It was very true.

[A]

I was on mtv.

[B]

Yeah. Y.

[A]

Like some freaky.

[B]

But it was like, you. The person gets to date their mom, right? And they can choose the daughter based on. Or the son based on their dates with the mom.

[A]

Oh, the girl would go on a date with the mom.

[B]

Or. Or. Or yeah, something like that. The girl or the guy. The guy would. I'm just seeing the clip I saw.

[A]

Oh, the guy would go on a date with the mom to see if he.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

He would choose the girl.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

You see, they ain't do that the opposite way.

[B]

What do you mean?

[A]

That's got rid of it.

[B]

What do you mean?

[A]

Now imagine the girl having to go.

[B]

On date with the dad.

[A]

Come on, man.

[B]

He might not. Dad might actually steal.

[A]

No, we got too much going on right now. All right. Redact. Okay.

[B]

Speaking of redaction.

[A]

No, that's crazy. Okay, I got a question for you.

[C]

All right.

[A]

Okay. Do you think. Okay, let's say you get a billion dollars tomorrow.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Do you think money will change you or do you think it will reveal you?

[B]

I think it'll change me. I think it's changed, obviously, the simple themes, the way I move the. The people I probably talk to as well.

[A]

Are you saying you. Stop. There's. There's certain people you wouldn't even interact with if you got a billion dollars tomorrow?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

I won't say who they are, but it's just like, you know, they're in your life right now because, like, they're in close Proximity. I got a lot to lose, I would say, but like, not a billion dollars to lose.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So now I have a billion dollars to lose. I don't want to lose this billion or go to like, jail or what, anything. Like, just like, you know, you gotta move some of the crazy people out your life, but you need a bigger reason too, I guess. What would you do?

[A]

My contact list going down to five.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I only talk to five people. Why the am I talking to you?

[B]

There's not many conversations you can have. I think you become unrelatable. No.

[A]

Yes. And like, somebody's life is gonna get ruined. Like, there's people I don't like, but, like, I don't like them enough to like, go beat they ass or I don't like them enough to like, make they life. But if I have extra money.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I'm like, man, I know that dude loved this movie. So I must buy out every ticket of every theater near him so he can't go see the movie.

[B]

So vindictive. Come on.

[A]

Mandictive soul.

[B]

Oh, man.

[A]

I know he needs some breaks. I put a car in every car shot.

[B]

Do you. Do you think being broke saves a lot of people from doing, like, Saves a lot of people's lives in a sense? Because I feel like sometimes when you have a lot of money, it makes you do like a lot of more random shit. Like go on submarines that blow up in the middle of the fucking ocean. That type of shit.

[A]

I mean, you see it all the time. You'll see people that have millions of dollars and they're. They'll squabble it away by doing something dumb.

[B]

Yeah, right.

[A]

It's like, damn, this dude made $56 million in his career and he over here shooting somebo in the middle of the street. Just like, okay, imagine if that was 560 million, what he would have did. Yeah. You know what I'm saying?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He probably would have broke into a house and did something to his dog and then blew up his car or some crazy like that. I don't sound familiar to you?

[B]

I feel like some street dudes, like, even if they got a billion dollars, they still want to be in the street.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like that.

[A]

There's some people that love that. I mean, there's some people that love prisoners. I just literally seen a dude go to prison for doing a crime. I'm not gonna say what the crime was, but when it was walking him out of prison, he did the crime again in front of the guards. I was like, oh, man, he got Somebody. His girl in there. He misses girl.

[B]

Missed his girl.

[A]

Okay, this question is being nonchalant emotional maturity, or is it emotional laziness?

[B]

Oh, man, this is a tough one. Good. Because I consider myself, like, so I can be a little nonchalant sometimes. What was the one emotional.

[A]

Is it emotional maturity or emotional laziness? Or is it somewhere in the middle?

[B]

I feel like it's somewhere in the middle, but I guess it's like, person. Obviously, I'm not gonna. This is me thinking too much into the question. Is different from people to people. I think at times when I'm nonchalant. Sometimes it is emotional laziness is that I don't really want to give this attention right now because, selfishly, it doesn't do anything for me, in a sense.

[A]

I. I asked this question because it's. Yeah, all these questions are because everything that can be used for good can also be used for bad, especially when it comes to relationships. Because it's. You know, you go to couples therapy, and the therapist is like, yes. When you guys argue, you guys need to take space from each other, then reconvene on the argument. So if somebody can use that to be petty, like, okay, I'm gonna take space. I'm not gonna talk to my girlfriend for 24 hours. And then when she coming to me crying, I'm like, man, the therapist said, take some space. I'm just doing what the lady says.

[B]

You know, the space. I went to my. What's my ex.

[A]

The same thing with being nonchalant, though. It's just like, oh, yes, I'm. I'm nonchalant in my face, like, when we're arguing. So I don't ever yell at you. I keep it calm. But, you know, like, especially as guys, we can use that nonchal to really piss them off.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And it's almost a way. You know, I, like, sometimes couples do this thing. I'm gonna piss you off in a way that if you call me out, I could flip it on you and make you look crazy, and you technically can't prove it. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? It's just like, oh, I'm gonna be nonchalant. Like, yes, calm down. And you know, your girl don't like when you talk with your hands. Yeah, calm down. All I said was calm down.

[B]

Look at you. Look at you. Saying calm down and stuff like that is like a death sentence. Yeah. Yeah. That's like you not trying to, like, solve anything when you hit the. Calm down. Yeah, I. But I think both it goes both ways. When somebody tells me to calm down and I feel like I'm calm, like, bro, what the fuck you.

[A]

What are you doing, man?

[B]

That's.

[A]

I say the one thing I do look at weirdly is that, you know, I don't like the, the racial thing too much. But white dudes get away with a lot with what they say, you know what I'm saying? It's just like I feel like as a big black dude, if I say damn you in my ear, it's like it looks at more violent, you know what I'm saying? But the white dudes be like, you act just like your mom, you know what I'm saying? Like, yo, that's evil, bro. That's evil.

[B]

But it might be a tone thing, but it's evil. But say how you said the first time, Damn.

[A]

Yes, you annoying guy. You do this to all your, all your boyfriends. Yeah, that's why they left. My boy Johnny told me that one. Now that be so sense of. Or that that used to be my. I get it now. Because I used to hate like rom com movies or romantic movies. You know when a girl just be like, just say you love me and we can go back to normal. And it do be like, I can't. And then you just be like, man, why would he just lie? Just lie. You know what I'm saying? But like as you get older, you realize like, damn. People push you to the point where you just are just so truthful and blunt.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then they look at you.

[B]

Crazy.

[A]

Crazy. They like antagonize you. Like, ah, you just like, I don't like hanging around you, bro.

[B]

Yeah. But like when somebody tells the truth like that, it's like they are ready for it to be over. Yeah, like that. Like the last. What's the, that last straw and stuff like that. So it's, it's one of those things I think that's happened to me a couple times. Just like, you just gotta be blunt because sometimes when you kind of like try to like beat around the bush in a sense, you just prolong what's already gonna happen.

[A]

Yeah. I think is we want people to be like us.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because I feel like our vibe is to catch the signs before a person would even have to have the thought of telling us something. It's like, damn, they did that kind of weird like, yo, what up? And then it's a dude just like he do a fist bump. Okay. Now I'm never giving you a handshake again, so don't try to dap me up. When you're drunk, we dabs for the rest of your life. You pick that and kind of picking up on the signs and stuff. Whereas like, like you hope they act like you, but then it's like, damn, you really don't get the signs. I don't with you.

[B]

I'm starting to do a lot more just straight handshakes now. I think it's just of like, it's just hard to know what someone's gonna do because it's like you hype. I hyper analyze it. Right.

[A]

Gripping the nigga.

[B]

No, I'm just, I'm just saying, you just see like, just say a regular, just nerdy looking white dude. But he, you know, we talk hip hop sometimes in a sense. Right. So it's like, what type of handshake is he gonna give me?

[C]

Me?

[B]

Like, he's very cultured, you know, and everything. But like what kind of handshake is he going in for? And sometimes you misread it. Obviously you're going for this straight one. He's like, now he's the one pulling your. Your fingers and.

[A]

Oh yeah, I get what you're saying. Like he trying to do like what him and his friends do try to do the snap. Yeah, some dudes be trying to turn my into the seven mile handshake. I'm damn near 30. The dude got two kids trying to do the seven mile handshake. Like you were from language Fencing, Michigan. What the is going on?

[B]

Still gang banging?

[A]

No, I. Nah, I get that though. I. I definitely get the handshake stuff. Yeah, I try to get it all out the way before they ask any other questions.

[B]

All right, now let's take a quick.

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[B]

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[C]

Yo, yo.

[A]

Welcome to Crash to me's podcast. Bro. What's up? What's up? I got a question for you. What's your most unpopular opinion?

[C]

Yo, if. If you ever tell me you cheated on somebody in the past and we together, I'm not gonna lie. I'm cheating on you in the future.

[A]

Why? Why? Why?

[C]

Because these women be believing in crystals in the moon. They got to start believing in karma. That's me. Dog.

[A]

No way. You dedicated your life to being Karma.

[B]

So you would get with a girl purely just to cheat on her?

[C]

Honestly? Yeah. We both getting what we want.

[B]

What is she getting out of it?

[A]

What? What is she getting out of it?

[C]

With me for a reason. And I'm with her for a reason.

[A]

Okay. So let's talk about your last relationship. Did you cheat on her?

[C]

Maybe.

[B]

Okay. Are you gonna say yes?

[A]

Okay. Are you in a relationship? No.

[C]

No, I'm not.

[A]

So are you really, like, are you ever looking for love? Or do you just want to play this game where it's just, like, you find out if she cheated, you cheat, or you try to be faithful? Like, what's your end game here?

[C]

Honestly, I'm gonna take whatever God gives me.

[B]

So you cheated in your last relationship. Right. So the next person should be allowed to cheat on you then, right?

[C]

No, it's not cheating.

[A]

Huh?

[C]

It's more like prescribing the future. I was gonna get cheated on eventually.

[A]

So you cheat even before you know or not that they cheat.

[C]

No, no, I know that they cheated, but they didn't cheat on me yet.

[A]

How do you know that? Like, what if you get a girl that's never cheated before? Then what?

[C]

Well, I'm just not gonna cheat on her. Oh, man.

[B]

Well, she just doesn't tell you that information.

[C]

I. I got ways of finding out. You know, you can go around the phone a couple times.

[B]

Oh, man. So your last girlfriend cheated before?

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Okay, there we go. We got somebody Broke your heart to put you on this spiral.

[C]

No, not.

[A]

She didn't cheat on me, but she cheated on somebody.

[C]

My first love that cheated on me.

[A]

There we go.

[B]

Oh, no.

[A]

Yeah. What happened? Bro?

[C]

She was my high school sweetheart. We were dating for around three, four years. She went to college. I stayed home.

[A]

There it is. There it is.

[C]

I ain't staying home no more.

[B]

Oh, man.

[A]

Say she went to too many basketball games, huh?

[C]

It was a D2 school.

[B]

How'd you find out?

[C]

Bro, she followed him, and it was a little more recent. So you know how you get that check mark in your name?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Found out they went to the same school. I was like, hey, are you with him? She's like, no, no, no. It's just a friend. It's just a friend. We know how all that go.

[B]

He's trying to sound tough.

[A]

We talking all that go. Let it out, brother.

[C]

Bro, that still hurt. Dog was 6.

[B]

6.

[A]

Oh, man. How did. But like.

[C]

Like, 5, 11, 5, 10.

[A]

Yeah, say it one more time. So you go down another inch.

[C]

I'm five, 11. Five ten. Six foot in boots.

[A]

Okay, okay. All right, man. Man.

[B]

What's your message to her then? I guess.

[C]

I love you. You are the reason why all these women are going through this. This isn't my fault. I wish you were just a better person, but, you know, you know my number.

[A]

Call me.

[C]

Or don't.

[A]

Oh, you want her back?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

So. So when she cheated on you, she ended up leaving you.

[B]

You.

[C]

I. I kind of left her because I couldn't imagine her going, you know, back to school every week and, you know, getting down by someone at 6. 6.

[B]

If you got back with her, wouldn't you just cheat on her?

[C]

Yeah, exactly.

[B]

All right, man. You have a good one, bro.

[C]

Yeah, you as well.

[B]

All right. Yo, welcome to Crash on Me's podcast, brother.

[C]

What up, Mike?

[B]

What up? What up? I got a question for you. What's an unpopular opinion that you have?

[C]

I feel like. I feel like it's too many who are losers who don't know it or have, like, loser ideologies.

[A]

Okay, explain a loser. What's a loser in your eyes?

[C]

All right, so. So say it's a guy, right? But his friends could get away with anything in the world. But if a female do it, not even a female, because that could be taken wrong. But if a woman does it, then suddenly it's the worst thing in the world. And, like, occasionally I'll be telling my girl that Pat is, like. He panders to women sometimes. But then, like, when I see stuff on the Internet, then I'd be like, okay, he kind of has to. To balance it out a little bit.

[A]

I have to. I don't pander to women. I say the truth, bro.

[B]

Or just say what you feel.

[A]

Just give us an example. I want to hear one.

[C]

All right, so I listen to y' all at work. So I got eight hours of every day. So. So say, like. Like, okay, the girl that had the sti, and she was just giving it out willy nilly.

[A]

Right?

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Boom.

[C]

If that was a guy, I feel like I would have been a little more harsh. Like, he would. Should have been keeping it to himself, for sure.

[B]

Yeah, I would agree. I would be more harsh.

[A]

I feel like. I feel like our advice goes a longer way with guys, especially if we feel like they doing some immature stuff.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And we're. We're like.

[B]

And we're guys, so we can kind of relate to our own thinking.

[A]

Yeah. So just like, wait, why would you do that? I would have did this knowing that we kind of like. Like, the same thing.

[B]

Things.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And that's why I said I get it sometimes, because, like, guys need a little bit more redirection, and then, like. Like, I get on Facebook or whatever, and they just be talking a little too crazy about women sometimes.

[B]

Yeah. We have to balance it out, man.

[A]

I get what you're saying. No, you. You. You actually. Right, I misheard you. We are trying to balance it out. So, yeah, we might talk about it a little bit more. But that's. But that's, like, the same thing. It's just like. Like, you'll go on Facebook and you'll see, like, a black person commit crime, and then you'll look at the comments, and then there's a bunch of racist people saying, what a terrible city, what a terrible neighborhood. Look what you people did. And they. And they're being racist. So now if there's a black dude that commits a crime, I might be a little bit quiet about it, because I know it's people under there with bad intentions.

[B]

Yeah, the RG3 thing.

[A]

Yeah, exactly.

[B]

Yeah. With the Angel Reese.

[A]

Yes, it's RG3 thing with Angel Reese. It's just like. Yes, I understand that. That you might not like something Angel Reese does, and you should be. But, you know, the people that agree with you don't agree with good intentions. So you over here saying, man, women be tripping sometimes, and you just gave the ammo to 10 dudes who actually hate women.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So that's your responsibility, bro. So it's not called pandering. It's called balancing out, idiots.

[C]

That makes sense.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And why are you having conversation with Pat about to your girl? Like, this is, like, your conversation you bring to the table.

[A]

What's your girl be bringing me up? What should be something.

[C]

No, she don't bring y' all up, but, like, I only watch y' all and, like, the UK dudes, but I'll be talking about y'.

[D]

All.

[C]

I listen to y' all pretty much all day at work for the most part, every day, so appreciate you. I'll just be, like, telling her about, like, that I find funny or, like, what it's, like, relatable, I guess, or whatever.

[A]

What's your favorite moment from the podcast so far?

[C]

Favorite moment? I'm not gonna lie. It's so much. But it's like, I feel like the funniest, like, rhetoric is Mike telling people that he's African pretty much.

[A]

Let's go.

[B]

I don't know why that stands out.

[A]

To people so much, because you said it so much. But But. But y' all gotta realize, you.

[B]

You also say where you're. You. You also say where you're from just as much.

[A]

I'm about to help you out. But you gotta realize, like, we're. This is our origin.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, we're starting our popularity within the podcast, which is rare. Like, Joe Button doesn't get on his podcast and, like, tell people where he from, because people already knew where he was from before he got on.

[B]

Especially when we have guests.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

I did mention Nigeria on this pod, though.

[A]

So, yeah, you got caught him right up.

[C]

Like, at first I didn't realize it, but then one day, Pat mentioned it, and then I was like, again, damn.

[B]

Hey, I'm happy where I'm from, bro.

[A]

Where are you from, bro?

[C]

I'm from Milwaukee.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

Shout out to you, bro. What?

[C]

Yeah, I tried to hit y' all up one day to get y' all to promote my kennel, but y' all didn't respond.

[A]

Kennel.

[B]

Like dogs.

[A]

Just say it right now, then.

[C]

Yeah, dog.

[B]

Say right now.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

On IG Cool Kids Kennels, everything's with a kid. Cool kid. Okay.

[A]

No, you're lying. You're lying. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. No, no, no, no. Okay.

[B]

And you spelled the cool with a K. Yeah.

[C]

Okay, okay.

[A]

No, you just. That's a clip. Mac, ask him what's the name of his business so we can clip this.

[B]

Oh, what's the name of your business?

[C]

Oh, yeah, it's Cool Kid Kendall. Man, KKK gotta be different. Gotta change it up.

[A]

What? What's your slogan?

[C]

I don't even really got a slogan. For real. I'm really just trying to, like, really make it real now. But I'm trying to change, like, the whole meaning behind KKK for me personally.

[B]

New meaning.

[A]

He trying to. He trying to take over the SEO of KKK with his kennel.

[B]

He tried to do the same thing they did with niggas.

[A]

Let's reuse this. Cool. Wait. Cool Kid Kennels.

[C]

So, yeah, Cool Kids Kennel.

[B]

Why not just a C?

[C]

I don't know, man. It just seemed like it was too easy. Gotta. Gotta push the narrative. Gotta make people think, like, what's your.

[B]

What's the logo?

[C]

See, I'm not even that far yet. I just got the dogs and the.

[B]

Names, so it's just letters.

[A]

I know what you should do. You should put. You should put a pit bull in, like, one of the KKK rolls.

[C]

Hey, no, you're thinking.

[A]

Have the dogs chasing each other around a burning cross. Oh, my God. Bring Your racist dog to me.

[B]

What type of dogs are you selling? All hound dogs. I don't know why? Hound dogs seem kind of what they kind of seem.

[A]

And German shepherds. Bye, bro.

[B]

All right, man.

[A]

Shout out to.

[C]

Appreciate y' all calling, though, bro.

[B]

Wait, the kids has a Z in it?

[C]

Yeah, cool kids can.

[A]

That's fire.

[B]

All right, man.

[A]

You trying to change the name.

[C]

I appreciate y' all boys.

[B]

All right, brother.

[C]

What's good, boys?

[A]

What's the deal? Welcome to Crash on Me's podcast.

[C]

Y' all remember me?

[A]

No. I got a question for you, though.

[C]

I bet.

[A]

All right. What's your hot take?

[C]

I don't think that's a question I answered, but let me think. Oh, no, it was. Yeah, it was. No, it was. It was that fat people really be living, like, the better life. Like, it's better to be fat than fit.

[A]

Explain. All right. Wait, explain what you are first.

[C]

Remember that?

[A]

No, just tell it. Just tell us how much you weigh, bro.

[C]

Damn. Like that? I'm a cool 200. I'm a cool 200.

[A]

How tall?

[C]

Five, seven.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

All right, now. Now, go ahead.

[C]

All right, so, like, I used to be fit, right? Like, on my I.D. it says, like, 5 7-150. But, like, I went to college, and I got that freshman 15.

[A]

Freshman 15.

[C]

But then I got that sophomore 15.

[B]

Well, I got that.

[C]

What? I got the freshman 15, right? Then I got that sophomore 15. Then I got that junior 15, 45. So now I'm in my senior year, like, damn. Like, a really fat.

[A]

Oh, so you got five pounds on the senior year already?

[B]

Are you saying, like, your life is better, though, now?

[C]

Well, like, I'm enjoying it more.

[A]

Why? Why? Why?

[C]

Cause, like, bro, when I was fit, like, I was doing things to stay fit. So, like, I'm running two, three miles a day. Like, I'm watching what I eat. Like, I'm not doordashing. Like, I'm going on walks.

[B]

And.

[C]

But now that I'm fat, like, it's cool. Like, I just be in the crib, like, playing 2K. Like, I'll be like, damn, let me. Let me hit Kroger up. Like, get that eight piece fried chicken. And then I'm like. It's two hours later, I'm looking at this. It's like two pieces left. But, like, I felt good eating it. Like, you know, like, I'm just chilling, smoking. Like, I was sitting in my room.

[A]

Okay, okay. These are the positives. So there's no negatives to you being fat right now.

[C]

Well, like, also I have a girlfriend, so I don't have to worry about, like, damn, I'm fat. Like, I ain't gonna phone up hoes. Like, I'm chilling.

[A]

But you gotta worry about her pulling hoes behind your back when she say, this dude not taking care of his body no more. Oh, my gosh.

[C]

My girlfriend gets no hoes. Okay? Like, I'm chilling. Like, you feel me? Like, I don't need to be fit. I don't need to be fit right now. So, like, I'm really just, like, doing whatever I want. And, like, at the end of the day, I know someone loves me, and I'm just chilling.

[B]

Have you done any blood work?

[C]

I'm wilding. Let me know. If I'm wilder, Let me know.

[B]

Have you done any blood work?

[C]

No. I need to, though, because diabetes and high blood pressure runs on both sides.

[A]

Both sides of your veins, too.

[C]

Bro. Like, I just crushed like, a 23,000. No, 2300 calorie burrito like, in like, two hours. And I was like, damn. Like, I really need to make some changes. But, like, what if I don't, though?

[A]

Hey, man, well, I. I say, like, you. You should definitely find a balance. There's. You can literally be in shape and still have all those crash out days. You just gotta. You just gotta work hard on the days that you. That you know what I'm saying? Like, that you not eating all that.

[C]

All right, but hear me out, Pat, right? What if I want every day to be a crash update, but why did.

[B]

I call a crash out there? That's just. You're normal.

[A]

Yeah, then why not work out with it a little bit, bro? You can even it out.

[C]

I'm crashing out in general right now. Like, I don't give a.

[A]

But why don't we stop at £200? I think. £200? Like, you're literally admitting it right now. I feel like you crying out for help. That's why you called my Mike Just me.

[B]

Wait, why'd I call just me?

[A]

Because you can't be calling me with this. This gotta be for Mike, bro.

[C]

I remember y' all called that one that had a 5 XL. I'm not, bro. I'm still a large bro.

[A]

You that X coming soon.

[B]

About the earn this X badge.

[A]

It's gonna be eight, two.

[C]

I called him. What do you say, Pat? What you say?

[A]

It's gonna be 8, 250 pound at your door. Like, welcome to the club, bro. And they gonna come in your house and take every large shirt. Like, you don't need this no more, bro.

[C]

Joining no fat community. I'm gonna tell you that right now. I might. I might like this, but I don't like fat, though. Like, I don't like them. I like me.

[B]

So you don't like other. You don't like other fat people?

[C]

Hell, no. Them fat as, like, what? Like, I'm a cute fat, though.

[A]

A cute fat.

[B]

According to your girlfriend, though. That's it.

[C]

No, bro, I'll be cheating.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[C]

Sorry. I'm a little drunk right now. I probably shouldn't be saying all this.

[A]

Okay. All right, bro.

[C]

I was the. That called in, like, a month ago, bro, about, like, me and my boy, we made that song, and I played it for y'.

[B]

All.

[A]

Oh, it was trash.

[C]

And Mike was like, he could get better.

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Oh, yeah, the rapping.

[C]

He got better. He got better.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

I've been working with him, bro. Like, I took that advice. I was like, all right, bro.

[A]

Okay. You got a song on SoundCloud.

[C]

We go work on your. Huh?

[A]

You gotta. Why you say that?

[C]

What happened?

[A]

Nothing. You got a song? You got a song you want to show us?

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He just dropped one of our songs recently. Huh?

[B]

It sounded like the Euphoria.

[C]

Yeah, no, we got songs.

[B]

What the is wrong with it? What you drinking on.

[C]

Jen?

[A]

Shout out to Gene.

[C]

Is Gene there?

[A]

No, no, no, no. But you drinking J. You drinking Jen, so Gene somewhere near.

[C]

Pause, nigga.

[A]

What?

[C]

What? Huh?

[A]

Bro, show us the song.

[C]

Shut the up, Pat. Don't make me pull up.

[B]

What is going on? All right, man. You have a good one, bro.

[C]

You too, bro.

[D]

Hey, what it do?

[A]

Welcome to Crash on me's podcast.

[D]

Hey, how y' all doing?

[A]

I got a question for you.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

What's your most unpopular opinion?

[D]

Well, I think people who suck at lying shouldn't have sneaky links because. Oh, wait. Oh, my phone. Not. My phone just fell.

[B]

What the hell?

[D]

Hello?

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Oh, yeah. Okay, so I have a sneaky link, and he is just, like, the worst liar. And I just feel like if you're gonna lie, there's no point of having a sneaky link. Like, it's just. It's supposed to be, like, to the point, there's. But no reason to lie.

[B]

But as the sink, as the sneaky link, do you deserve the truth?

[D]

I mean, if we know what it is, what's the point? Lying.

[A]

Okay, explain your sneaky link, because I'm not understanding what's sneaky about it. You got to explain it.

[D]

I do what I do on my.

[A]

Time, so who are you sneaking away from and who is he sneaking away from? Like, are one of you in a relationship or just two people who link up whenever they want to link up?

[D]

Yeah, I do what I do and then I link with him when I want to.

[B]

Okay, so she's the one in the relationship. She.

[A]

Okay, she in a relationship. Got it.

[D]

I'm not. No, I'm not in a relationship. No, no, no, no. I did not say who's your man?

[B]

So he's in a relationship.

[A]

So is he in a relationship?

[D]

I don't know what he doing.

[A]

There it is. So you're the sneaky link. It's not a sneaky. He's not your sneaky link. You're the sneaky link.

[D]

No, I don't. I don't even know if it's a sneaky link for real, because like, like he called me this morning at 8:00 in the morning. Why are you calling me at 8:00 clock in the morning?

[A]

Horny. That was in the morning too. So like, so you don't. You don't. You don't ever want to be with him?

[D]

I mean, no. Like, where is he?

[B]

Cool.

[C]

But like, do you want to be.

[A]

With him or not?

[D]

Yeah, I mean, I'm, you know, I'm 25. I feel like.

[A]

I have a question.

[B]

Do you want an exclusive relationship with him? Could you ever see that in your future? Future? An exclusive relationship with just him? Okay, we're gonna say that's a no if you're thinking about it. Right. Okay, so, right. You want. You want just. You don't like that he lies to you? What is. What are some things that he's lying to you about?

[D]

Like right now, like I'm actually at his house and he got a phone call and it said like, Carter and like he was in the. He was. He's in the army. Let's start there. That's a. Reflect automatically.

[B]

But you know, in a relationship.

[D]

Well, no, he's not at all. But you know, he could do what he do. That's his business. But it's just like let it be known if we're bumping. So.

[A]

So to me, to me it sound like he got all the power because you over his house right now. You know he lying to you.

[C]

You.

[A]

And you know he doing his own thing on top of that. So why are you still there?

[B]

What.

[A]

What keep.

[B]

What.

[A]

What keeps you there?

[D]

I like to have fun.

[A]

He do. He pay for everything? He pay for a lot of stuff.

[B]

Come on.

[D]

I don't deal with him outside of.

[A]

Having fun, do he pay for a lot of stuff?

[D]

We just have fun.

[B]

So it's just purely sex?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Y' all don't, like, hang out outside of the bedroom?

[D]

No, because he's the sneaky link.

[A]

Got it. Okay. I mean, if you want to be caught in this infinite loop the rest of your life, you ain't got to tell us.

[B]

Yeah. When do you think you get out this cycle of being a sneaky link or you. You having sneaky links?

[D]

Well, this morning he said that he's like, I don't know why I don't take you out. And I was like. In my head, I was like, I know why. Because you don't want to, But.

[A]

Oh, okay. We get into a bottom of it. You want to be with him, and he just not doing. No, you definitely want to be with him.

[D]

It's just like, it's nice to hear it, you know?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

You're in denial because you're protecting your feelings. You don't want to ever admit that you like him because obviously he might break your heart. We get it. We get it. I guess you'll stay there until you get your answer.

[D]

I mean, I could always ask him.

[A]

You. How dare you.

[D]

Oh, that ain't nothing better word.

[B]

Do it.

[A]

Do it. Hit us up tomorrow. We'll call you back tomorrow.

[D]

All right.

[B]

All right.

[A]

She about to lose her best eater.

[B]

Yo.

[A]

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[B]

One sec, one sec, one sec.

[A]

You on my time? Little. My bad. I was. I was. I was.

[C]

You're on my time, actually.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

All right. I got a question for you.

[C]

Go ahead.

[A]

What's your most unpopular opinion?

[C]

That all men are gay. Besides me.

[A]

Okay, explain.

[C]

Ever since my wife told me that all men are gay, I started to see that slowly unravel.

[B]

What were some of the signs?

[C]

I don't know. Let me. Let me. Let me ask it. Like, what were some of the signs? Yeah, what are some of the signs?

[B]

That's a real conversation.

[D]

They always like touching on each other. Like.

[C]

Like, bro, stop.

[A]

Okay, okay, okay, okay. Question. Can you. She got the phone, right?

[C]

Yeah, she got.

[D]

Okay, yeah.

[A]

Has your man ever did anything that says that he was g.

[D]

Not says that he's gay, but maybe he's open to other things with men? Like asking another man to join us.

[A]

Wait, wait.

[C]

This is my wife's friend. Actually, this is not my wife. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[A]

You're cooked. You're so cooked. You're so cooked.

[C]

No way.

[A]

You just embarrass him like that.

[B]

How did he bring. How did he bring this up? And what was your answer to this?

[D]

Well, we're no longer together, but it was just on the topic of things that we might be interested in doing sexually with other people. And he said that he would be open to having a female or a male.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

Oh. What was your response to that?

[B]

Now she stole.

[D]

I was thrown by it. I was definitely thrown. I told him that I wasn't going to be. I wasn't open to that.

[A]

But he wasn't open to either. Or was it. Was it because he mentioned a man.

[D]

Another female, but not. Not two males? No, for sure not. Not two guys.

[A]

All right, cuz. Yeah, I get it. Okay. Damn.

[C]

But it was.

[D]

It was a little. It was. It did have me like, side eye.

[A]

Him a little bit. Right. Because you don't know what he want with the other guy.

[B]

She wear the pants in the family.

[D]

But no. But no, Judgment. No judgment.

[B]

She wears the pants. She's like my wife said. All right, you have a good one. He's a Jesus call.

[A]

Where is he going through Narnia or some. What's the deal, bro? Welcome to crash on these podcast.

[C]

Glad to be here.

[A]

You know, start. Okay, starting off, we notice all callers height and weight before we start.

[B]

Oh, my go gosh.

[C]

61198 maybe.

[A]

Okay, okay.

[C]

198.

[A]

Okay. Got a question for you.

[C]

Yeah, I ain't fat. What's up?

[A]

What's your most unpopular opinion?

[C]

My most unpopular opinion is sitting in front of TV or computer watching two dudes sit down and talk. But let me explain myself though. I am auto listening now. But I was a YouTube watcher. Stand down watching YouTube. Stepdad coming to room. What you doing? Watching TV. So you just ain't watching two dudes stand on and talk. So now to nine. Nine turned off and watch. Listening to the little on you on the lab now.

[A]

Oh, okay. What your pops do for a living?

[B]

Stepdad.

[A]

Oh, is this stepdad?

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Oh, come on, man. You ain't supposed to be listening to this. What he. What do you do for a living?

[C]

Look, truck driver.

[A]

A truck driver. So he not home.

[C]

Well, my. Wait, you talking about the stepdad or the real dad?

[A]

The step.

[B]

The one that told you that is your stepdad, right?

[C]

Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, the stepdad. Yeah, he a little truck driver. Garbage truck driver. Oh, no, he stay at home. He stay at home. Yeah, garbage truck.

[A]

Garbage truck. So he not. He not home during the day.

[C]

During the morning.

[A]

And that's what. That's when your uncle come over.

[B]

But doesn't everybody sit down and watch people on TV talk? In a sense.

[C]

Females.

[A]

But now that you look at it.

[C]

You just seeing two dudes sitting down and just talking.

[B]

So you ever watch like, you ever watch like First Take or any of those shows, like sports shows?

[A]

Do you watch, do you watch football?

[C]

Yeah, I watch. I watch it. I don't like sit down and listen to sand and sharpen.

[A]

I'm saying. But you watching football. The two people that are commentating are sitting down. Then you watching other grown men play a sport and you emotional about it. So if you want to play this game, we can play this game with almost everything you watch. So at the end of the day, stepdad, I don't want to play this game. I'm just saying stepdad should stay in stepdad place. Shut the up. He not the real dad, bro. Tell him that. Stand up for yourself, bro.

[B]

You used to live with your stepdad?

[C]

No, I don't live with him, but I'm going home next week, and I'm going to start the up.

[B]

All right, Tell, tell. We told you to do that, too.

[A]

Now, last time we told somebody to do that, we got, like, a strike. I don't remember if it was or YouTube, but they striked us and said we told somebody to go get revenge.

[B]

Now slap the out Your. Your. Your granddad. Oh, your stepdad.

[A]

Might just add people in there.

[B]

They add him, too. The stepdad's dad.

[A]

Yep. Oh, yeah, true.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Slap the whole bloodline. I'm recording.

[C]

I'm sending to you, too.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

On gta. Also, stand over his body and say, crash, dummies for life. And then teabag him.

[B]

All right, bro, you have a good one.

[C]

All right, all right.

[A]

Yo, what's. What's. What's the word, brother? I almost asked him the question right away. I wasn't even gonna give him no introduction.

[C]

No, don't do it like that.

[A]

I got a question for you, bro. All right. What, you want to say something to Mike? Why you s on down?

[C]

I said, all right.

[A]

What you got to say to Mike, bro?

[B]

Oh, my gosh, man.

[C]

I don't got to say to Mike. Oh, why you say.

[B]

Why you say like that, man?

[C]

Cuz, Pat, my favorite, to be honest.

[A]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[B]

Pat could be your favorite. That's fine. But, you know, watch the tone a little bit, you know?

[C]

Whoa.

[A]

You don't talk to my boy like that, though. Mike, I got your back, bro. No, I got your back, bro. He got us up, bro.

[B]

All right.

[A]

About to ask you a question, bro. It's just me and you. Don't even worry about Mike, bro.

[B]

That's not very romantic.

[A]

Hey, man, somebody got to take his spot.

[C]

What?

[A]

All right, I got a question for you.

[C]

What's up?

[A]

What's your unpopular opinion?

[C]

You shouldn't use condoms. Like, man, you can use condoms at all. You already take a risk anyway. You might as well get burned a little bit, because I use a con, man. I know.

[A]

I should have seen this hole.

[C]

I use a condom and got burnt.

[A]

Anyways.

[B]

This would be the perfect ass spot for a Trojan. Whatever.

[A]

Directs.

[B]

Directs.

[A]

Yeah, whatever.

[B]

Right, Right here. You should practice safe sex, people. Don't listen to this idiot.

[C]

No.

[B]

And then he's already. And this is Pat's boy. This is Pat's boy. The Pat Disciples.

[A]

Hell, no. I don't know this. He literally called in. It literally say Mike on here.

[B]

No, he just said that was Your.

[A]

Boy, You switching up on him? No, man, I'm definitely switching up on him. I mean, even if I had to exterminate this to make the world better, I was. I gotta do my, you know. You know, your guy across the line. Yeah, yeah. This is my last time hanging out with dog. Nah, I'm definitely done with whoever this is on the phone.

[B]

I don't even. I really don't even care for your, like, your explanation about this, because it's just gonna be dumb regardless. It already started.

[C]

No, like, I really, like okay with the point. If you still can get burnt with a condom. What the point of using a condom.

[B]

Them you might.

[C]

You already taking the risk there like.

[B]

A lot of other things that helps.

[A]

You know, Bro, that's like. That's like a rare case.

[D]

Man.

[C]

And I don't think that rare, but still.

[A]

But what the is wrong with you?

[B]

All right, man. You have a good one, bro.

[C]

What? So.

[B]

Now are stupid question.

[A]

What up? Welcome to Crash podcast.

[D]

Oh, my God. I hear that every week. I never thought I'd hear it on the phone.

[A]

Hey, I don't know how to take that. All right, I got a question for you.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

What's the worst thing you've ever done?

[D]

Okay, so you have to know I'm a reformed good Christian woman now.

[A]

Good Christian.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

But when this happened, okay, this is something I'm happy to share because this person did me in. Okay, so I was dating somebody. We got engaged. We were gonna get married the next year. He decides that he wants to take a boys trip for his birthday. So I'm like, okay, cool. I rent him a car. He takes my 500 baccarat, and I find out while he's on this boys trip on his birthday that he's out there to meet a girl. I'm like, oh, okay.

[A]

So the boy. So the boys were never with him?

[D]

No, they went with him. And they were accomplices. They were accomplices to the crime. And I think the part that I was most bothered about is, like, he went to go smell good for this. Like, my 500 baccarat. Oh, you got me so up.

[A]

How'd you find out?

[D]

Oh, I went through his icloud. Whatever, you know, girls be into that hacking. So it was the day before his birthday. I found out. Oh, you know, the funniest part is, is that if this makes the pod, he actually showed me the pod. So I hope he hears this and he's gonna know who he is.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

So I find out the day before his birthday. So oh, I'm about to do his ass in. So the next day, I'm like, okay, I don't know if y' all ever had a buzzball and a beatbox in the same night.

[A]

Well, we haven't, but we can imagine what it's like. Yeah.

[D]

Yeah. So, yeah, now you know my mindset. So basically, I had this guy come over to our house, and, yep, all our pictures, our little engagement photos, everywhere. This guy does not care, obviously. So then I'm like, you know what? Let's go to my room. So, you know, we do the D. Whatever. And while he's doing it, he's like, I should take a video. And I'm like, you know what? That's a great idea. Yeah. I don't know. Something about the liquor, like, just turns me into a camera star. I'm just like, yeah, let's get this on camera.

[A]

Like, we'll call it that.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

Yeah. So he's like, yeah, let me take a video, but let me take it on your phone. Like, okay. So anyways, he takes the video, everything's green. There's my fiance, comes back, doesn't know. So then, yeah, he was my fiance. He doesn't know that I know about him. And obviously he hasn't found out about me yet. So this guy, it turns out, was living with his baby mama, and she ended up going through his phone, and he had asked me to send the video, so I did. And so she ends up finding the video. And, like, probably a week later, I just get a text from a random number, and it just says hi, and my heart drops. I'm like. So the girl text me a screenshot of the video, and I'm like, that ain't me. I got tattoos. And whole time, I did not have tattoos. So I'm like, begging this girl, like, please don't tell me. And one night, I just remember, like, this guy's on the game. He's like, you know, just living his life, enjoying his day. And the way he looked at me, I just knew that he just knew. So the girl called him. She literally found his number. Somehow, she couldn't find his number, so he. She found his mom's number. So I thought I was a stalker. This was next level. So she ends up finding his mom's number. She gets in touch with him. She sends him the video, and he seems that it was took on his birthday. And, yeah, pretty much he just crashed out.

[A]

Okay, okay. So going back. Let's go back to the middle of the story, right where. So you Got that guy while he was on a trip.

[D]

I know the guy that I messed with was just like some guy that was on my social media or whatever. And I was like, oh, like I'm gonna get my gift back. While my boyfriend or fiance was out of town.

[B]

Got.

[A]

Okay, so he was out of town for another trip.

[D]

He was out of town for his birthday.

[A]

Oh, for that trip. That's what I'm saying. How did you get that guy so quickly?

[B]

That's a good question.

[D]

It was like, you know, you girls always have people that they with back then that are just waiting, you know, So I just had to hit him up one time like, oh, hey, I'm. I'm single. So what you trying to do?

[A]

So what? So, so okay, so. So what if your boy friend felt that energy and that's why he, you know, had another girl in a different country.

[D]

He did this first. It was like, that's what I'm saying.

[A]

Maybe it was his intuition knowing that you got that guy on the side. He feel like, damn, this girl ain't got all my love. Both of y' all wrong.

[D]

As I was so loyal to him, literally. And that's why I had to really do his ass in. Because I did not talk to nobody but you.

[B]

But you see how easy it was though, right? Because the person that the person you're talking to was also in the relationship, right?

[D]

Yeah, but men are just overly going, so that was easy.

[A]

I'm just saying.

[B]

You just don't.

[A]

You sound like you overly going too, though.

[D]

I mean, I was for this one specific. Get back.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay, this sounds like a pattern to me.

[B]

Are you in a relationship now?

[D]

Barely.

[A]

I'm not. I'm not going. I'm not gonna lie. Like, if I like, let's say like in some, some weird ass scenario that I like me and you are dating and you told me this story, I would never talk to you again because I'd just be like, this is. This don't sound good. This is like something either telling him.

[D]

A reformed Christian woman.

[B]

She just said that at the beginning. She did.

[A]

Oh, she did say. But she's still all this hacking. Just don't go away.

[C]

So what you said you're going to therapy?

[D]

I worked on myself.

[B]

You know, you're in a maybe relationship now, right? Why is it a maybe?

[D]

Because I don't know. I just told you. Men overly going.

[B]

So oh, is it like. Like you guys aren't official or.

[D]

No, it's like you got trust issues. Yes. Yeah. And he listens to the pod, too. You know, I had to show my new one. Well, my old one put me on, too.

[A]

Look how you talking my new one in my old one. Y' all did there. There's no way you like this dude if you calling him your new one. Cuz he's going to be old someday like him.

[D]

Well, he's about to be. Yeah, but that's his. His fault, not mine.

[A]

So who's. I bet you you already know the new dude.

[D]

Yeah, well, no, I.

[B]

See I reformed.

[D]

Broke up with my fiance. Right?

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

And then did you give the ring back? Oh, I threw that at him.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

And whatever. It looked like it came from 25 cent, but.

[A]

It was. But you accepted it at one point. Let's not do that. Keep going.

[B]

Keep going.

[D]

Yeah, I did. I was, you know, I was showing off that little cubic zychronium.

[A]

Still shine the same.

[D]

Exactly. And you know, when you put black and white filter, you can't really tell. For real.

[B]

So I got us off track.

[D]

I got into a new relationship, but he was with his baby mama on me, so I think that was my karma.

[A]

Okay. Okay.

[B]

Choose him.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, damn. She do. You got a little. You got a terrible roster.

[D]

I'm saying, like, please, I'm moving out of Vegas. I need a new one.

[A]

Are you moving out of Vegas? Where do you think you're gonna go to find a new one? What do you think? Okay, New York. What you. What you got to say to the New York dudes before you get there so they know you on the way?

[D]

JT coming. Jt. I'm just kidding.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Run, fellas.

[B]

All right. You have a good one.

[D]

All right. Thank y'.

[A]

All.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Why are you sending us that story? What's wrong with you, bro?

[C]

What? I seen you, dummy.

[A]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Who in the car?

[C]

We don't go red. You said what I said.

[A]

Where y' all at? Why y', all, y'.

[B]

All.

[A]

Why y' all sound so deep?

[C]

We just. We outside. We on some deep right now. Pause.

[A]

Yeah, you gotta pause that, brother. All right. I'm about to ask you a question.

[B]

How many of y' all in the car?

[D]

You.

[C]

You asking f question. These are homies. These the homie. Yeah, see, look, my just caught wind of what was going on. Yeah, these the homies.

[A]

What up?

[C]

Yeah, there's three of us, bro. Two girls, one dude.

[A]

Two girls, one dude.

[C]

But he already heard two talk. It's two and one.

[A]

Wait, why he trying to switch it? Is he trying to say. He might be saying you the other girl.

[C]

He said, my fault, bro. I took a couple shots of Henny, bro.

[A]

That's my bad.

[C]

I'm low key. We off the LeBron to see right now.

[A]

So.

[B]

LeBron, he said 2 and 1. So you call the girl in the.

[C]

Car with you a. I said female. I tried last week calling her and she right here. She not saying nothing.

[B]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay.

[A]

I mean, no, no, no, don't do that, bro.

[D]

I am far from a. I'm must.

[C]

I'm not.

[D]

Not what I.

[C]

At ease, at ease, at ease. I'm not a. Okay, I swear.

[A]

No, we.

[B]

We.

[A]

We believe not.

[B]

Don't let them talk to you like.

[D]

That white girl, okay?

[C]

She got one of the phone sex voices, like, y' all getting horny.

[A]

No, we not, bro.

[B]

Ask these the question, bro.

[A]

Gotta get these a thing. And asking two dudes if they horny is crazy. What happened?

[D]

I think you would like me. Y' all should come to Lovick and hang out.

[B]

I'm good.

[A]

No, y' all need to drop her off. She overly going.

[B]

Come on.

[A]

What's. I got a question. Make sure y' all boys using protection. Yo, answer this question real quick.

[C]

We trying to.

[A]

Who you talking to?

[C]

I'm talking to Patrick Johnson.

[A]

No, he dick riding too crazy. All right, I got a question for you, bro.

[C]

What's happening?

[A]

What's the worst thing you've ever done?

[C]

Okay, so there's really not even the worst. Done did some. Okay. This particular day, right?

[A]

It's a big word.

[C]

So you know I got a bitch, right? Yeah, I'm with this. Okay. Yeah, appreciate. Appreciate that. So I'm with this, right? That okay. Damn. Why keep saying my bad? I'm with a. I'm with a young lady who I already, you know, already has some past history with. She used to be my young lady, but then she kind of gave. She gave her hand away in marriage type kids. So she wasn't no more after that.

[B]

And.

[C]

I. I come up with this broad, this broad bright ass idea that I'm a link with her because she, you know, she going through her. So she like, oh, yeah, like, let's link. I go over this house, right? We chilling, kicking it or whatever on this quiet ass street. We in the car, mind you chilling for like an hour or two. We do whatever, you know, chill. I ain't trying to incriminate myself. We do whatever. Chill talk. She confided in me and. And then just out of nowhere, I see headlights turning down the block instantly myself, as you can imagine, right Because I'm like, who is that? Because I know she got a. I know he in the army. And, you know, army, they don't play. They be having ptsd, all kind of. So that's offering that scary. I'm like, I see the lights coming down the block. I say, is that him? She say, I don't know. He pull up. Boom. He pull up, park right in front of my car. But he leave just enough room for me to, you know, kind of skirt off, get jiggy, pull off, bruh. The next question I say, do he got guns? The said, yes.

[A]

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. So you. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

[C]

So you.

[A]

You pulled off with her in the car? She didn't get out.

[C]

She told you she didn't get out.

[B]

And then what happened when you pulled over, you pulled away.

[C]

I pull off this. Get the letting that thing off, right? Whether it was in the air or he had bad aim, he started shooting about six, seven shots went off. I'm scared, nigga. Boom. I get to the end of the block, right? I'm like, hey, yo, shorty, you gotta get out my car. She like, she panicking. We both panicking. She don't know what to do. She don't get out at the first time. I drive a little bit more. I'm like further away from her at this point. I'm like, you gotta get out my whip, like, you gotta get out. She hopped out the car, take off running, and she done dip. And now I didn't hit the corner, right? Boom. I turned down one corner, it's a dead end. I turned down another street, two more streets, and they both dead end. So I'm myself.

[B]

Are you being chased?

[C]

I don't. I don't know though. I'm not looking back, so I don't really know if he chased to me or is he beating her ass at this point. I don't know what's going on. So I just. Boom. I go park in this little. In this driveway on this dark ass street. And then I. I know y' all messy ass waiting on me to say he caught me, but he didn't, though. I got away.

[A]

I mean, your survival instincts is dog. He said, yeah, so. So how did you. Did you just wait him out behind you? Yeah.

[C]

You said what?

[A]

So did you just drive somewhere, like to a dark street and kind of wait till time passed?

[C]

I just did.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Just go home.

[C]

Just you go home. So he could follow me to my house.

[A]

You are being followed. Oh, man.

[C]

Bill Nye over Here telling me why didn't I just.

[A]

No, no. So we're being chased.

[B]

You went down two dead ends with no and no. You didn't get caught.

[A]

Okay, okay, okay.

[C]

He wasn't like. He wasn't up my ass when I was. When I was driving away. He. He had to be just worried about the. But I don't know what. I don't know.

[A]

That's what I'm saying. That's what's wrong with your survival instincts is the fact that you didn't get out of there as quick as possible. You were to going. Going places you didn't even know how to maneuver. But that's fine.

[C]

I'm unfamiliar with it.

[A]

Okay, listen, situations happen. What since then have you done to elevate your life to make sure that don't happen again? Because one.

[B]

Oh, man.

[C]

Girlfriend?

[A]

I mean. No, but I'm just saying he running from like you. You don't think you should take some self defense classes or go get a gun yourself? Like you. You're taking off. You don't feel. Make you feel like.

[C]

Not even like I'm not even living like that for real, bro. I don't want a gun.

[B]

I feel it.

[A]

Then you should stop. Then you should probably stop doing the other thing. You should probably stop messing with people. Girlfriends.

[B]

So what you. What you do to change?

[C]

I don't do like that no more.

[A]

Okay, that's good.

[C]

But if I do, I'm gonna make sure it's like a safe. You know, a safe scenario.

[A]

You want to make sure he's not in the army this time.

[C]

I gotta do some research on the ig. Make sure you're a bitch. Bravage. Wreck his home.

[B]

Your friend said you had a girl.

[C]

Nah, chill. No, no, no, no, no. Don't listen to this bro. He don't know what he talking.

[A]

Hey, let's talk to your friend.

[C]

No.

[B]

Who's a group leader out of y'. All.

[A]

What's the word you see with a group leader? See how fast he got the phone? What is the deal, bro?

[C]

Yeah, man. Whole bunch of chilling, bro. What y' all got going on today?

[A]

I can't believe you let little bro talk like that, bro. You should have told the story. That's your story.

[C]

Why don't I eat?

[A]

Go ahead.

[B]

Group leader. Group leader.

[A]

We talking. We talk about lieutenant. Did he tell you to shut up? Damn.

[C]

Okay, yeah, my bad.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, go ahead.

[A]

No, we just talking.

[B]

How'd y' all become friends?

[C]

You said what's up?

[B]

How'd y' all become Friends?

[C]

You wanna. Really? I took this under my wing when we was younger and now you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I ain't gonna lie, bro. This was. This was the older dog back in the day, man. I'm saying we just hang out, but we hang out for a while. I end up rekindling with the. The dog. So now. Now we here.

[A]

No, using rekindle with your friends is crazy.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. It's like. It's like I ain't talked to this. I ain't talked, bro, in a minute. You know what I'm saying? And then one day, we end up just link back up. Now we just homies again.

[A]

Oh, that's dope. Oh, yeah. Somebody has sex with somebody, girlfriend they don't know.

[C]

You trying to give me the tail?

[A]

Yeah, go ahead, confess it, bro.

[C]

Yeah. No, no, no, no. I never did nothing like that. No, no, I never did that.

[B]

That sound like y' all going really far in life, I'm not gonna lie.

[C]

Hey, man, hold on. What's the question?

[B]

Bro, there is no question.

[A]

We just want to see your vibe so we can see if the whole friend group.

[B]

I got a question for y', all, though. What's the question?

[C]

All right, so the question gonna be is a.

[A]

The question gonna be is a.

[C]

What's the worst. What's the worst link up scenario you ever had, man?

[A]

Oh, yeah. Okay, brother. Everybody asks a question you asked a high schooler. It's the worst link up you ever had. What's the deal? Welcome to Crashing Beach Podcast, y'.

[C]

All. Quiet as.

[A]

Bro, you can't hear us.

[C]

Oh, my bad.

[A]

Yeah, turn us up. Turn us up, I said.

[B]

Hey, yo, anyway, welcome to Crash Enemies Podcast. What's an unpo. What's an unpopular opinion that you have?

[C]

I think that Tay McCray should consider marrying me.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Consider what you got to offer.

[C]

All right, so look, a young man. I'm saying I'm respectful to women, but I don't know, I think, you know.

[B]

What do you think are some good qualities about yourself? Like, come on, just list them out.

[C]

I can cook.

[A]

Okay, okay, before. Before we let you slide with the cooking stuff, what's your top three meals? Go.

[B]

Good question.

[C]

Wings.

[B]

Grill.

[C]

Wings.

[B]

Okay, okay, okay.

[C]

What's funny about that?

[A]

No, that's not bad. You started with wings.

[C]

Okay, so grill.

[A]

Wings is different if you know how to work a grill.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah, I do. On the grill. Grill wings. Grilled salmon or baked salmon? Mac and cheese. Pretty good.

[A]

Okay, okay, okay. We'll let you slide. Okay, Your next one so you got cooking. What else?

[C]

I feel like I'm a good listener.

[A]

Okay, that's hard to prove. I mean, maybe you will for her. We can't prove that. We can't prove.

[B]

All right, if. If you're. You're gonna take out on a surprise date, right? What's the top three spots you're picking?

[C]

All right, so number one, this. This is, like, from what? Or, like, from worst to best. All right?

[B]

Right.

[C]

Okay, so I'm getting three. Number one, we going have to do Popeyes.

[B]

Drive through, poop through Popeyes.

[C]

Okay, hear me out. Okay, hear me out. I'm a. I'm a Caribbean male. Know what I'm saying?

[B]

I black.

[C]

I'm not. I'm not Dominican, so.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

I feel like, you know, it's part of the culture. She got to learn, and if she not with it.

[B]

Didn't you say you could cook, though?

[C]

Yes.

[B]

So why would you take. Yeah, okay, you right. Go ahead. What's number two?

[C]

Number two. Beach day.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Females love the beach. Women.

[B]

Okay, just. Do you like the Beast?

[C]

But you gotta.

[A]

Hell, no.

[C]

I think that's just dumb.

[B]

See, we. We've talked about this. I like it.

[A]

I love it.

[B]

We talked about this in the podcast. When you start doing stuff that you don't really like with girls.

[A]

See, but. But this is what I don't like about. You know, some people that come over here and, like, have a fantasy relationship. Y' all never talk about what that person would want and how you would fit in their life. So, like.

[C]

Well, then what does she want? Exactly?

[A]

No, no, no, no. You should already know. She literally a public figure. You ain't did no research?

[C]

Hell, no.

[A]

What was she. What was she born at? Where was she born at?

[C]

Well, I couldn't take.

[A]

What did she do when you was. When she was younger? What was her hobby?

[C]

I assume singing, dancing.

[A]

See, you just like this. All Googleable. I'm literally fine. It's like, first page.

[C]

Yeah, but I don't really. I don't do my research, bro. You just going based off looks, I think she's pretty.

[B]

Okay. Hey, what's your message to Tate McCray?

[C]

Hey, if you listening, I'm not gonna say I love you because I ain't met you yet, but there's a chance that I might love you.

[B]

Oh, my. Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

All right, man. You have a good one, bro.

[C]

All right. Y.

[B]

All right.

[A]

Yo, what's the deal? Welcome to Crash Dummy's podcast.

[D]

Thank you. Thank you.

[B]

Oh, y. I got a question for you. What's an unpopular opinion that you have.

[D]

Okay, my unpopular opinion is that if you're trying to be the plug, let me be specific, because I smoke weed. I don't do them big boy drugs. But if you're trying to sell weed, you need to be available all the time, at least for a text back or something. These plugs want to only have business hours, and you're. You're.

[C]

You're doing an illegal job already.

[A]

Oh, man. So. So, like. Like, what's the specific thing that you ran into?

[D]

I just. Okay. Like, I'm. I'm young. Like, I'm sorry. I'm old enough to smoke weed legally now, but I feel like I had a lot of time where I was smoking where I really had to depend on plugs. And they'll literally tell you they on their way or you for hours and hours and then expect you to just.

[C]

Still give you the money.

[A]

Like, how many times have you got we for free?

[D]

No, it's not like that. But I mean, like, if I waited three hours on you, why would you expect me to still shop with you instead of finding another plug?

[A]

Right. I feel.

[D]

And then they'd be acting weird winter. I'd be like, oh, I found somebody else. They'd be like, damn, you couldn't wait on me? No, I couldn't.

[B]

They might have to do, though.

[D]

Okay, communicate that.

[B]

I get it. Where are you from?

[D]

No, I'm from California.

[B]

Oh, that was just the accent.

[D]

I have an accent?

[B]

No, you said one thing. It sound like you're almost from, like, Toronto in a sense at the beginning.

[D]

Oh, no.

[B]

You're good, though.

[D]

No, no, no. But yeah.

[B]

What's your message? What's your message to your plug then?

[D]

Communicative. I see. That's why I had to stop using plugs because it's too much. I started going to the dispensary, but to all the plugs who aren't texting people back. Text people back. Put your notifications on. You don't never need to be on. Do not disturb if you really want to make some money.

[B]

All right, thank you. You have a good one.

[C]

Y' all have a good day.

[B]

All right, I got a question for you. If you overhear someone telling a lie about you that actually benefits you, do you correct it or do you let it rock it?

[A]

It depends on their tone.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Some people try to set you up. Like I do a joke.

[B]

It benefits yourself. It's saying something good about you benefits you.

[A]

But sometimes it benefits you too much.

[B]

Got you. Okay.

[A]

Like, oh, you trying to Benefit me too much. Like, yo, my boy got, like. Like five houses. You know what I'm saying?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

It's like, okay. Why would you put five houses on me?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Now, like, six months later, when somebody come back like, yo, bro, you trying to sell one of them houses, it's like, nah, I'm keeping these, man. Where they at?

[B]

Pat has all this cash in his house. I don't know why exactly, man.

[A]

He keep bankroll on him. He can't. Like, Mike. Mike gave bankroll a thug. He keep that.

[B]

It makes me uncomfortable sometimes. I feel like when people. Obviously, you never know what impact you have on. On them in their life and stuff like that, but sometimes people, like, over. Like, over exaggerate the. The thing you did for them.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Like, this changed my entire life. I wouldn't be living today if it wasn't for, like, no, no, no, bro, I just borrowed you $5.

[A]

And I stopped people from doing that because. Because I know they're about to do that themselves all night. That's the only reason you pumping me up.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because it's just like, one of our old teammates would come up to me and be like, man, you was the best corner of all time at Lakeland. Okay, No, I wasn't.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You know what I'm saying? So you're not about to give me that lie? And just so you can say your lie, like, man, I was one of the best, but the coach ain't believe in me. No, no, no.

[B]

We used to run to school and shit like that.

[A]

Like, that was a good corner, but you was ass. Not the greatest all time. He was ass. No, we knew what he was doing, man. That's one thing you can't say about certain sports. Like, I get it at the D1 level, like, somebody might be a scholarship player, you might be a walk on. Like that makes sense, but, like, the. The lower levels of football, like, somebody came to me and told me they played D3 football and the coach was hating on him. Yeah, I got a hard time. I wouldn't say hating on you.

[B]

I. We had this conversation earlier. You were saying that you think LeBron's about to retire because you saw him crying at the Cleveland game. You think he's retiring this year?

[A]

I'm really thinking of it, because the one thing I've known with LeBron is during the heat of his career, he wasn't on social media like that. Yeah, he wasn't in the know about that. He didn't really know about streamers or edits or Stuff like that, even back then. But now he's tapped in, he sees what's going on. So especially with Twitter, what I like about Twitter is that you can type in your name and see exactly what people are saying about you at that time.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

On Facebook, there's no search button like that. Like if you type in LeBron on Facebook, it's gonna be a bunch of fan pages. Maybe you get a couple statuses. Twitter is the only one where in real time you can type your name in and keep refreshing every single time.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I believe LeBron is on Twitter and he, he has technology now and he knows what he's doing, that he can check up on that stuff. And I think he knows the narrative would be that it's all about me. It's all about me. I'm a retire. I want to walk off tour just like Kobe had. And I think he's going to switch that narrative. Like, no, I'm a retire on you.

[B]

Oh, so you think he would retire without like the farewell tour?

[A]

I, I think he would do like.

[B]

You didn't NBA would let him do that.

[A]

I think he would do a 10 game stretch.

[B]

Got it. You know what I mean?

[A]

I feel like he doesn't want.

[B]

He'll announce. You think he'll announce it his last like 10 games? Yeah, if he did it. If they're. There's definitely.

[A]

That's tough though, because it's the playoffs.

[B]

So I think.

[A]

I don't know how he would ever go off into the sunset. Kobe went off into the sunset because he played his last game and he knew they weren't in playoff contention. With LeBron, it could be a game seven. You don't know if you watching the last LeBron.

[B]

Yeah, I think for LeBron he definitely would capitalize on it like in terms of like there's a film crew following him around his last season. Like he's gonna, he's gonna make a documentary about his last season because a hundred years from now it's gonna. It could be, you know, some historical ass. And everybody. We've seen like the Jordan stuff and you see how like PC, the Jordan stuff, like Jordan didn't really control the camera people that are around him at all times. So when you're piecing up a Jordan documentary, it's just like pieces and pieces and pieces, pieces of pieces of different like things with LeBron, if, you know he has under. He has all the, the. The production studios and like that. So I'm pretty sure they're gonna like really put together A curated documentary and then obviously sell it to, like, the Netflixes, the Paramounts and stuff like that too.

[A]

Okay. I'm a big LeBron fan, right. Anytime he has a highlight, I go watch it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I will say another thing that's very different about him. Him. Which means I. This is why I think it's the last season. Every dunk he's had this season, he's over celebrated. I've never seen him celebrate. He literally screamed in somebody's face after dunking on him. LeBron's signature is like, kind of the dunk on you and kind of not even acknowledge you. Like, I didn't even see who was there. I'm proud, James. You know what I mean? But now, like, he's celebrating. He holding his hand, he looking at it. He not even really like, dapping up teammates as fast. He'll do it after, but he holding his celebration. So, you know, he being filmed or farming right in front of us, and we don't even know it's over. I'm paying whatever for that ticket. Yeah, he gotta play when he in Milwaukee, bro.

[B]

Yeah. Did he ever.

[A]

Has he usually not. Not in the, like, past three years.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, on our flight here, we noticed something. Y' all know those little airport. Airport waffles they give you on the plane?

[A]

The Strudels?

[B]

The Strudels, yeah. They are only good on the plane. Plane. I've never had it outside of the. The plane, and it'd be good.

[A]

No, I had it outside of the plane.

[B]

Really? Yeah.

[C]

My.

[A]

The first. My first trip to London, I had a bunch of them.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, I had, like, three or four.

[B]

But it's still from the plane.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And.

[A]

But that was my first time, like, having them in a row. Usually I have them, and I wasn't even. I caught on late to the waffle, so I wasn't getting them every time. Sometimes I would get the dark chocolate or the trail mix or something just to mix it up. And then I really got on the waffles during the London trip, and I was like, oh, man, I love this. And when I got back to America, I found something that was similar to it, and I had it. And I was eating. I was like, what the am I eating? This is ass.

[B]

It's like that theory when they say, like, I'm trying to word this correctly, like, somebody else's chips always taste better than your chips.

[A]

Yeah, I want a bag of chips. I would love to have a bag.

[B]

There's always, like, those random chips that some of you have that I'll try for the first time. Just, like, have one bite. Oh, that's pretty good. The second I go buy a whole bag of myself, like, this is ass.

[A]

Like, should be ass. You ever. Yeah. Somebody ever gave you five hot Cheetos? Best goddamn hot Cheetos. It's definitely a mindset thing.

[B]

I think it is.

[A]

It's definitely a mindset thing. And it's. And it's usually the surprise cravings make, I guess, make your taste buds better. It's just like, damn, I didn't even know I wanted this.

[B]

This.

[A]

I'm about to get it. But even when I. Sometimes. That's why I think people have bad times at a restaurant.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because it's just like, I want a steak. I sit down. Yes. Found a steak. Yes. And you tell it, and then you wait on it. And then it's like the anticipation, and then you judging it way too hard like it was all right. But, like, no, that was some good steak, man. You're just, like, anticipating it. But it's like you go to a party and it's orders going around, and they got pieces of steak on there. You're like, damn, that steak. Busting at that part. Remember that steak we had?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then we go back in the ass because we anticipate.

[B]

The surprise. Good. Stick anything. Any food that's always surprisingly good is always tastes the best.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Because if you have, like, you said, high expectations and you go into. There's like, it really has to be really, really good. Especially if your homeboy is hyping it up. Because you always know you want to hate a little bit on your homeboy. Finding a good restaurant spot.

[A]

I think that's funny that we do that. Anytime someone suggests a restaurant. Sometimes we'll go together. Yeah. And then we'll watch the person eat it. And it's funny. We never do it off the first bite.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

We make the person wait. We start eating. That's good. He's like, damn, bro. What you think? Now that's top five. You got it, bro. It's like that.

[B]

No.

[A]

It's supposed to be damn. But yeah, you make him wait and.

[B]

Come on, bro.

[A]

I'm a real food critic. Yeah. But I serve a six out of ten. No, you ain't telling me that.

[B]

Oh, it's five.

[A]

Find the flaw. No.

[B]

There was one lounge at the Brian's launch that we talk about that I was mad that you put me on. That was like, the most. It's probably the. I had the best. I don't even Know what is it? A margarita, I don't think.

[A]

I don't know what it is.

[B]

Their cocktail, right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Probably one of the best cocktails I've ever had. And I was, like, reluctant to give Pat credit for it. Come on. I'm, like, drinking. I'm like. And then he. Then I had to sit because the first one I drank super fast. Like, oh. He's like, damn, that must have been good. I was like, it was. All right, I gotta get another one. I'm sipping the next one and slow. And like this.

[A]

That's bad. That second one is when you know. Because the first one is like, okay, damn. I'm trying to figure it out. It's like, oh, that second one, man, I'm telling you. Bone crusher at Brian's. Do not get it, bro. Do not go there, bro. I'm just playing. That's definitely one of my favorite places that I'm never going again because I just told y'.

[B]

All.

[A]

Okay, okay. There's another question for you.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Very simple, very simple, very simple. Would you rather be loved or respected? If you only could choose one, Love or respect by your close family members? Like, close. Like proximity, like girlfriend, mom, dad, best friends.

[B]

I think respect.

[A]

Respect.

[B]

Yeah, I think because.

[A]

But you're. You know, your girlfriend goes into that, so now she only respects you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That'll do it.

[B]

Like that. The sex just becomes a task.

[A]

You don't even care no more. You make sure you know she don't care. Hey, at least I'm respected. Nah, bro.

[B]

Nah, bro. What would you choose? Because if the thing with love is, oh, you can hurt the people you love.

[A]

Yeah, I'd rather be loved. Like, I don't need nobody. Respect, bro.

[B]

You don't think so? Nah.

[A]

Hell no.

[B]

Okay. I guess you're a big. You just give the disrespect back.

[A]

Yeah, man. I'd rather be like, you know those homeless dudes that everybody take care of?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And it's just like, damn. I know he not homeless, but he just don't be. He just don't want to be in nobody home. That's what I'm gonna be at that point. I just want the love, baby. Like, they still invite me to the cookouts, but, like, I can't go get no silverware from inside. Somebody bring him out of fort.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

You know, I'll steal no more. I'm done stealing.

[B]

I didn't go to a lot of cookouts growing up.

[A]

You didn't?

[B]

No. Oh, no, not really, man.

[A]

I went to a Lot of cookouts, bro.

[C]

Bro.

[B]

I think because like obviously Nigeria mentioned being Nigerian as well. I think a lot of the American holidays that they were celebrated like people barbecue on Memorial Day and stuff like that too, right? So we never did know like barbecue, stuff like that. And I feel like a lot of people here too have like family reunions and like that. I don't have that because my only, my immediate family is really here. That's that I would go to a reunion for. So I feel like I missed out on like a lot of like the, the, the cookouts. I would go like with friends and sometimes but like I feel like I could have gone to, to more cookouts.

[A]

That helped you though. You'll be broke right now. If you knew all your cousins, you'll be broke. Yeah, one of them would have definitely looted you into a scam. He's like, man, I got you, man. Listen man, we about to build a whole school in this.

[B]

You know a lot of your cousins though?

[A]

Oh yeah, I know a lot of my cousins. But my cousin is hustlers though. They, they go get it.

[B]

You don't think mine's gonna be hustlers, huh? Yeah, they might as well be hustlers.

[A]

Come on now, man.

[B]

Come on now. What do you mean? Yeah, and they're Nigerian, they're hard working people.

[A]

Yes, exactly. Yeah, exactly. So I know if you was talking to one about that they would scam you just flat out.

[B]

No, they're gonna, they're gonna get. The Nigerians gonna get at you, bro.

[A]

But I'm saying that I know Nigerians are very hard working. Like every time I see a Nigerian, he a doctor, blah, blah, copper plea.

[B]

Copper plea.

[C]

Who?

[B]

I ain't copping. No, please. Yeah, go ahead.

[A]

But I'm saying on the other side, scamming us Guyans, don't be doing that, bro. All right. What part of your personality was built from your trauma? If you can only pick one. Oh, so you gotta think of a time that you had trauma and now where they my therapist or some enhances your personality. This is what I don't like about therapy sometimes. Because if I get asked a simple ass question like this in therapy, I'm pissed. Like, no, no, wait. No way I'm paying you for this shit.

[B]

No, it sometimes starts with the simple stuff.

[A]

Nah, that simple. Ask me, ask me. When I got jumped in the fifth grade, did it affect my eyesight?

[B]

I feel like my dad taking me like to random. Like I would say my dad used to sell like a lot of import export of like computers and stuff like that. So we would drive to like Detroit, like eight hour trips, he's breaking all like the child labor, stuff like that. But it made me be like very like observant and like want to learn and stuff like that. So I'm like a big observer and a big learner. So I think that would be like one of the things that it was traumatic because I was like, I hated going like, and my dad always liked me going because I didn't fall asleep like my brothers in the car and shit like that. So I was always like give him conversations for him and make the trip go a little quicker. And once I learned that and I try to start sleeping in the car but I can't really sleep and shit like that. So it's like it was a gift and a curse. So. But yeah, I would say that would be like mine. What was yours? My be more. A lot more. A lot more funny.

[A]

No, no, no, no. I don't think it's funny. But my dad, my dad used to cut people off quick as hell. You know what I'm saying? Like, and I'm a person that moved around a lot.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like I, I like moved here. I never before college, I had never stayed a place more than three years. Like it was always three years get up, move to this state. Three years get up, up moved to the state back and forth. So when, when I moved with my dad that was kind of like, oh, I got my cousins from both side of the family in the city. I got, I got friends that I'm going to school with that I grew up with before. So this the most family and friends I ever had. And now it's time to like strive for those extra connections like an uncle or auntie who not really your uncle or auntie, but my dad cut off gang was strong. It'll be like somebody I'm calling Auntie for two years straight and I don't see him for 10 years. I'm like, dad, what happened to Auntie TT? And it's just like man, her when your dad she a thief, it's like, God Damn, she stole $10 from you. She gone.

[B]

When your dad cut people off, does that mean you as a kid too had to cut them off as well?

[A]

Oh yeah, for sure.

[B]

Or was it just because you just wouldn't be around them anymore? Cuz obviously you're, you're a kid.

[A]

So my dad was always around. So it's just like he always around. Like always like he see me, me. Yeah, he'd Be knowing what I'm doing. He'll tell me. One time I hooped and he told me I came back to the house. He's like, yeah, you need to get back on defense. How the hell you see that? Like, he, like, so he saw everything. So I wouldn't. Once he cut them off, it was over.

[B]

Yeah. Was there ever a point where you had to stop asking permission to leave the house? Like what? Like, did you know that, oh, I don't have to ask this anymore. Or was it just when you moved out?

[A]

The thing, the thing about me, if anybody know Pontiac, like, I live in Wallpark Mountain manner and like at the time that I was growing up, you don't walk out unaccounted for. Like, it's literally gangs posted up and like people this shooting dice over here. Shooting.

[B]

And like, it wasn't find my. Find my iPhone, hell no.

[A]

You don't go nowhere. I used to tell my dad my whole palate, I'm about to go a mile this way. But you, you would bike all over the city and stuff like that, but you definitely got to be accounted for.

[B]

Yeah. Did you.

[A]

You left?

[B]

I did. Up to a certain point, I feel like. I think because it was, was feel like I didn't live in the house. I lived in like a 20, 30 story building, stuff like that. So it's just like a lot of steps to like leave the house in a sense. Like you go downstairs and you're going through the security people and then everybody's seeing you. So I feel like in that sense I had to always ask permission. But I feel like I was like, I would say I want to go a place where I knew they would say yes to. Like, I'm going to go to the library or some and then, then parlay. That's when you used to have to wear like, like be dressed for every occasion when you left the house. The shorts under the, the jeans.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. I used to, I used to trick my dad though. I knew I was like, damn, he'll let me go with anything sports related.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So the girl I was talking to will always be like, man, why you always got a football in your. Just case my dad pop up.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, I'll be chilling with a girl and I see my dad pulling up around the corner. I'm like, hey, go dance deep.

[B]

Go deep.

[A]

We've been out here working all day. What you say, Pop?

[B]

I think my thing was my footwear. I would always have to wear like flip flops to make sure they didn't like, they knew I was just like. Or just like regular shoes, not like basketball shoes. Yeah. So they don't think you're about to go outside. My thing was like, I'll try to take the trash out, but then I'll put like, my shoes with the trash. Right? Take the trash out, then leave my shoes outside in the hallway. They go back into the house. House. And then, you know, go out like regular degla. And then just put my shoes on in the elevator and like that.

[A]

See, every. Everybody had that traumatic experience. I don't know if it was once, twice, it could have been 10 times. Growing up in your childhood, there's something that you have planned that your friends are going to and you originally had permission to go to that thing. So you all geeked up and something happens. Whether it's a fight with your siblings, it could be, you know, a change of plans where you don't have. Have a ride to that and the plans get cancelled and that. You just can't believe it.

[B]

Yeah, you just can't believe it.

[A]

They're like, what you mean I'm not going to the school party? No, you're not going to the school party. You got into it with your sisters.

[B]

What?

[A]

And then you in your room like, nah. And you, you start looking at your door like, she about to come in anytime and tell me it's okay, I can go.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Now she about to come in anytime.

[B]

This. Yeah. And parents be acting like they've, like they, you know, never had that conversation. Especially Nigerian parents. And mostly, I would say a lot of foreign parents that talking back about, like, are you insinuating that I forgot this thing?

[A]

Exactly. The manipulation. Yeah, the manipulation. It's just like, man, you know, you go ask your mom this. This I did used to do wrong. Because I still do this sometimes as a grown man. I do stuff with my back against the wall. But if you need another person, it kind of puts the pressure on them too. So you'd just be like, go to your mom, like, yeah, man, I need a poster board for my science project that's due tomorrow. It's like, what. What the you mean it was due tomorrow? It's six o' clock on a. On a Thursday night. And a project due Friday. You in Walmart, your mama shopping, mad as hell. What else the you need? I need. I gotta make a volcano too.

[C]

What?

[B]

Especially when you say something that you need to go to another store for it. Oh my gosh.

[A]

Another thing. They said they need some cans for the can. You about to have our family looking like we broke. I ain't got no cans. And my another thing, they need you to volunteer the n. Reading your parents.

[B]

As a chaperone without telling them the day of.

[A]

I didn't know I'd never see you go to war. I knew. I thought you was available. I work from home.

[B]

My dad was like, have to like record him like sometimes the conversations we have. Because then he'd be wrong and be like, I played it back for him. He's like, see, this is when you said. He's like, why are you recording me?

[A]

Are you the FBI?

[B]

That's toxic. Nah, he talks to my dad.

[A]

No, that's some toxic pops. No, I, I feel like all parents, parents growing up was toxic. Like I've. There's never been a time where I was right.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So you telling me. Let's say we argue. You know, you went back and forth with your parent a thousand times through life before 18 and you were never right in their eyes. So that mean there's one time, like the best times is when you say something to your parent and be like, shut up. You don't know such and such. And then you see it. And then they actually go do what you say. You'll be in the backseat like, yeah, turn left like I said, Turkish around like I told you it was back there.

[B]

I feel like we're going to be the same as parents too. I think we're going to think we know everything because we, I feel like especially now, we've gone through a lot in our lives, just like different life events and stuff like that. And then when you have a 9 year old, 10 year old thinking they know all about life, it's like, bro, you don't even know.

[A]

Nah.

[B]

And it's like, it's like it's not.

[A]

Going to be me. Yo, I, my son, I, I think I've been corrected by my son like four or five times already in life. I'm like, damn, dad, that's stupid. Stupid. You write stupid, slap me. Get ready for life when somebody wrong about some and you write, call him stupid. Get the out. Let's practice. All right, here go uncle Mike.

[B]

And especially not telling me any like.

[A]

That uncle might tell him two plus two is five.

[B]

I think your son, your son definitely got gots it in for me. Cuz that one time we playing soccer.

[A]

And oh yeah, I blasted his son.

[B]

With a soccer ball trying to joke around.

[A]

And my son didn't cry.

[B]

No, he didn't cry either.

[A]

He got up, he got up, he got up and reached for a strap. I said, we left it in the car. Now he reached on.

[B]

I was trying, I was trying to fake kick the. Paul the ball past his head super fast. And I'm telling you, he's standing three feet away from me and I actually blasted him in his face. And I was like, oh my gosh.

[A]

No, you got, you gotta watch Mike around kids. He way too rough.

[B]

That's. Hey, that's. I'm a tough person. A tough person. Tough person.

[A]

No, that's crazy.

[B]

I'm about to say tough boy. Tough boy is crazy. Oh, man, all I got a question for you. What's something that you have to. What's something that you had to unlearn as an adult?

[A]

What I had to unlearn as an adult was money that appears out of nowhere.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

When I was in college, for some reason there was always money that appeared out of nowhere. Like I would make a certain amount of money. Let's say I made a thousand dollars a month in college, right? And I would spend a thousand dollars worth during the month, but I would still have three or four hundred dollars worth of bills due.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

When I was in college, you're getting money from different people. Like, you know, some, you know, your auntie might throw you 100, your mom might throw you 200 until you go get some groceries and stuff. So that money coming back in, he like, ah, I got the extra money. When you grow up, if you don't budget like, damn, I'm 50 shirt for rent.

[B]

Come on, man, 50 shorts, boy.

[A]

When I see that paragraph on people front door, I'd be like, God damn.

[B]

Man, I'm not gonna lie. I'd be like, whoa.

[A]

You know what I mean? It's just like, like either you didn't calculate it or something went catastrophically wrong. Like with rent, obviously they tell you you're supposed to make three times your rent and it's for that reason. So if you fall on hard times, you technically can still afford it. Some people be right to the T. Like they make $2000 a month, they got a 800 car note and they rent $1100 and they think they're gonna make a hundred dollar stretch. You have one bad month. If you buy air too much, but you literally pay for air too much, you might be short.

[B]

I'm, I'm bad with the, the percentage right now probably, but it was like 40 something of Americans. Can't afford an emergency. Just one emergency that happens. Like it's like, what is, like what.

[A]

Is the price of an emergency. And what do you call an emergency?

[B]

I would say like an emergency is like your car, like breaking down.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Like. Or like your car needs like a. Like I just had to get my brake pads and my rotors change. Right, Right.

[A]

That's an emergency.

[B]

That's like, that's like money that you weren't really expecting to the spend and.

[A]

Your brakes could go out. You could literally die.

[B]

Yeah. So it's like something you have to like, really do. So it's like a lot of people don't have that. That extra income to do stuff like that. So I. It's scary though.

[A]

The first I think you saw I told you to watch this movie. It's called Mate. You watched that, right?

[B]

I think so, yes.

[A]

Yes. It was like, basically this woman that's going through life. She had an abusive boyfriend and she was trying to find different ways to make money. And she was actually a hard worker. Like, she busting her ass and she got a kid.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And they were showing her. Her how she earned money and she was getting her money up. Getting her money up. And it's like a very progressive story as a. As a listener and a looker. You start to get happy for the main character. You're like, yes. Yeah. She get her money up and she ran into like two or three problems. Like her car broke down, the babysitter she had to pay canceled on her. So she had to find a new babysitter. And you saw the money subtracting and subtracting to the point that she had zero dollars at some point. Some point. And then had to end up going back to live with the abusive boyfriend. And it's just like so many Americans are close. Like, they're just one emergency away from being back to the bottom. And it takes so much to like, pile all that money up.

[B]

Especially, like people that have a lot of family here. Like, like you said, I don't have a. It's only my immediate family that's here. Right. So it's just like, even if they have emergency and now like being, you know, making good money and stuff like that, there's like, like, you know, you can help. It's like a comfortable amount of help. They don't really ask me for help at all. But it's like sometimes you want, you know, you can give them money and this and that, but when you, like, you, you probably have a lot of cousins and people, like family members and stuff like that. So he's like, I feel like more people here, there's like more responsibilities for people, too, that they can bring them down as well. In a sense where it's like, I have to rely on, like, I'm close with like eight family members. Nine family members. And like, obviously, is any of them fall on an emergency or knee support, something like that, I'll help. But it's like the chances now it's like eight, nine chances of that happening. Where it can happen out of nowhere. My chances probably are like, really two people damn near, you know.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly who you would be responsible for. And that is a. It's not a good feeling. Yeah, it's not a good feeling when somebody fall on their knuckles. You're like, damn, I'm the person they gotta rely on. It's like, everybody wants to be a good person. And it's easy to be a good person without money.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But with money involved like that, I gotta be a good person and give you some money. And I'm like, you know, you start looking in somebody's situation, they telling you more information like, oh, you started calculating, like, damn, I'm never getting my money back. Yeah, like, this is gone.

[B]

But anyway, man, that's been the pod. Appreciate y' all for listening. Make sure you guys subscribe to Patreon. We just dropped an episode there. Live show. We're gonna announce more dates. We're just doing these first four dates, but by the time the next. By the time the next podcast drops, we'll have like a legit up full, like every state you guys can think of, like the major cities. Right. What's some niche ones that we might be going to?

[A]

Birmingham.

[B]

Birmingham. Alabama's a niche. Pittsburgh. Is Pittsburgh niche?

[A]

I would say. No. I feel like Pittsburgh is a big city. Like, yeah, you go to Pennsylvania? Sometimes I go up, I guess. Philly would also be kind of on that. Boston, New York.

[B]

Charlotte. Charlotte.

[A]

I don't. Charlotte. Man, we gonna rock out Charlotte, bro.

[B]

I'm excited about that.

[A]

I'm very excited.

[B]

And Houston, Austin, you guys. I said major cities. So you guys. Yeah, the Florida's.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Actually let us know where you should go in Florida. I know, Tampa, then. Where else in Florida?

[A]

Our Florida's still open, so. Yeah, let us know about Florida also. Merch coming soon again.

[B]

Should be. We'll tell you next episode, but it should be on sale by next episode.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. So also keep comment, keep subscribing, make sure y' all subscribe on YouTube. Wherever you watch it. Make sure you subscribe and subscribe. Supporting us. Join the Patreon again. We definitely got some new stuff coming your way.

[B]

All right? Peace.

[A]

Peace.