Listener Callers Only PT. 2 - Episode 260

Summary

Crash Dummies Podcast — Episode 260: “Listener Callers Only Pt. 2”

Date: May 27, 2026
Hosts: Pat (Patrick Johnson) & Chris (Michael Esiobu)

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Episode Overview

This “Listener Callers Only” episode is a laid-back, hilarious ride through hot takes, confessions, and the unique scenarios only Crash Dummies fans can cook up. With the rest of the regular crew off for the holiday, Pat and Chris take listener calls exclusively, digging into subjects from relationships and trust issues to weed man etiquette, polyamory, and viral tweets. The vibe is a mix of honest advice, comedic roasting, and delightfully unfiltered life reflections.

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Key Discussion Points & Memorable Calls

1. Opening & Podcast Housekeeping (00:00–01:36)

• Chris and Pat banter about the holiday, missing co-hosts, tour ticket availability, and Patreon extras.
• Pat: “You see what happens when people go missing?”
• Quick rundown: Merch is out of stock until after their tour.

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2. Tweets of the Week & Listener Group Chats (01:55–04:56)

• Complaints about fans DMing both hosts in group chats for advice—“Just chat me or just chat him.”
• Discussion about Hennessy’s popularity in Black culture and the weirdness of AI-generated Hennessy flavors.
• Pat on money and ‘gangster’ definitions:
  “Do I think I’m cooler than Jeff Bezos? Yes. Am I going to taunt in his face? No. He got enough money to get you gone... by the seventh person down the line.” (03:12)

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3. Call #1 — Friends vs. Living Single (05:09–07:50)

• Caller: “Friends is funnier than Living Single.”
• Defends the take, even at the risk of losing his “Black card.” Says Living Single lacks quotables.
• Caller: “I don’t care. I’m like high yellow Drake anyway, so I’ma die on this hill.” (05:25)
• When asked what he likes most about Friends, he simply: “Young Jennifer Aniston, bro. That’s what I like.” (06:32)
  • Extended bit: Gives a faux love confession to Jennifer Aniston, pokes fun at Nicki Minaj references.

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4. Call #2 — Stepdad at 24? (08:17–11:42)

• Host Question: What's a hill you're willing to die on?
• Caller: “Stop trying to be a stepfather, especially under 25.”
• Explains he unintentionally attracts single moms (“I'm a single mom philanthropist.”).
• Hosts dig into why he feels that way.
• Pat: “My rule is [the baby’s father] gotta have at least 25 years in prison for me to step in with a newborn.” (10:08)
• Discusses the emotional difficulty of attachment when dating a woman with a small child.

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5. Call #3 — Name Confessions & Trust Issues (12:36–26:30)

• Prompt: Name something you need forgiveness for.
• Caller: After makeup sex with his girlfriend (with whom he recently had issues due to a woman named Ava), he says another woman’s name—“Ava, I love you.”
  • Memorable Quotes:
    • Caller: “I did my big one, and... the daggers she calls eyes were just staring a hole through me.” (14:10)
  • The story unravels: His girlfriend’s trust issues center around “Ava,” a mutual contact.
  • The hosts coax a live breakup speech out of him for comedic effect; caller then proceeds to air grievances about his girlfriend’s “not gay” friend, spiraling the call into comical self-ownage.
• Pat: “You not living right, bro. You omit information and you gaslight her into thinking something isn’t what it is.” (18:49)

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6. Call #4 — Who’s To Blame in Cheating? (27:00–32:10)

• “As a man, you shouldn’t blame the dude if your girl cheats—blame your girl.”
  • Rejects the same standard for women, sparking observational roasting from the hosts.
• Reveals he’s still bitter from a situationship—his old flame slept with someone wearing his hoodie.
• Comic highlight:
  • Pat: “Did you get that hoodie back, though?” (30:23)
  • Caller: “You can keep that ho…”
• Conversation evolves into a funny support session about not letting heartbreak trigger a “villain arc.”

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7. Call #5 — Fake Weed Men (36:39–41:32)

• Caller: “Fake weed mans” are his hill to die on.
  • Complains about unreliable dealers: “Text me four hours later like, ‘You still need that?’ I’m callin’ the police.”
  • Bit continues about “little spenders” not getting respect or proper service (weed thrown directly into his hand).
• Pat: “That’s the same thing with barbers… once you’re loyal, they’ll make availability for you.”
• Hosts roast the caller’s height (5’7”)—becomes a running joke.

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8. Call #6 — Movie Theater Glizzy Confession (41:45–46:08)

• Prompt: What do you need forgiveness for?
• Caller: “I got a glizzy [hot dog] during the Michael Jackson movie….”
  • Caller: “That jam was bustin’. I ain’t gonna hold you. Shout out Michael, though.”
  • Admits DoorDashing hot dogs from Denny’s late at night.
• Chris: “DoorDashing hot dogs is crazy.”
• Spills his girlfriend’s habit of biting and flinging her nails in his car is what’s about to make him “crash out.”

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9. Call #7 — Work Flirt Fail (48:17–53:07)

• New girl at work; caller is urged by a “friend” coworker to ask her out.
• The coworker then starts dating her himself.
  • Caller: “I thought I was gettin’ coached…turns out he was just showing me game film.” (49:22)
• Hosts empathize but point out he never really texted or followed up with her outside of work.
• Ends with advice to take the “L” and reflect.

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10. Call #8 — The Loyal Cheater? (54:07–59:37)

• Prompt: “What hill you willing to die on?”
• Caller: “I can be a liar and a cheater, but that don’t make me a piece of shit. I mean, I refuse to leave my girl for the mission, that makes me even more loyal.”
  • Comic highlight:
    • Hosts grill his logic, ask for height and weight (he’s 5’8”, ~204 lbs).
    • Pat: “You can admit you’re not doing it the right way… you not living right.”
• Ends with promise of free show tickets—callers’ comedic bravado is left exposed.

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11. Call #9 — Monogamy vs. Polyamory Rant (59:45–72:26)

• Caller gives an impassioned (and meandering) argument that monogamy is “not natural;” historical and cross-cultural references abound.
  • Caller: “If you say it out loud, [monogamy] sounds like modern day slavery.” (60:22)
• The hosts challenge his logic, asking about the practicalities—caller claims a lifestyle with several women, including a 70-year-old “sugar mama.”
  • “Some of these women is on the program!”
  • Pat: “You can’t take women that want one man and try to convert all of them.”
• Chris: “There are people that those lifestyles work for. But you everywhere, bro, you’re not living right.”
• Ultimately, the caller concedes: “I ain’t figured it all out yet.”
  • Pat: “That’s all we were trying to say: you ain’t got it all the way figured out.”

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12. Closing Banter & Miscellaneous (72:29–End)

• More tweet breakdowns (“infinity wipe” tweet about pooping).
• Brief side discussion about athletes’ politics and locker room dynamics after a recent viral Trump event.
• Appreciation shout-outs for listener feedback, especially “educated” disagreements.
  • Pat: “If you want to troll, at least put a timestamp where you think I sounded dumb so I can put the timestamp for when I’m gonna beat your ass.”
• Encourages listeners to keep sending suggestions and questions for future segments.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• “[My rule is] he gotta have at least 25 years in prison for me to step in with a newborn.” – Pat (10:08)
• “I can be a liar and a cheater, but that don’t make me a piece of shit... That makes me even more loyal.” – Caller (54:22)
• “If you say [monogamy] out loud, it sounds like modern day slavery.” – Caller (60:22)
• “My bad, not the end of my city ends with berg. I live in the ghetto. It wasn’t nothing open at the time.” – Caller, justifying late-night Denny’s glizzies (44:28)
• “If you want to troll, at least put a timestamp...” – Pat (77:06)

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Segment Timestamps

• 00:00–01:36 | Opening banter, show updates
• 01:55–04:56 | Tweets of the week, group chat gripes, Hennessy AI
• 05:09–07:50 | Friends vs. Living Single
• 08:17–11:42 | Stepfather under 25 debate
• 12:36–26:30 | Trust, makeup sex, and naming the wrong girl
• 27:00–32:10 | Cheating blame and heartbreak hoodie story
• 36:39–41:32 | “Fake weed mans” frustrations
• 41:45–46:08 | Movie theater glizzy confession
• 48:17–53:07 | Restaurant work love triangle
• 54:07–59:37 | The “loyal cheater” defense
• 59:45–72:26 | Polyamory versus monogamy manifesto
• 72:29–79:22 | Tweets, locker room debate, listener appreciation

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Overall Tone

The energy is candid, quick-witted, self-deprecating, and irreverent. Pat and Chris are gleefully unfiltered, constantly flipping between empathetic advice, barbershop-level roasting, and earnest appreciation for their community of listeners.

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For New Listeners

Crash Dummies shines brightest with its interactive episodes—real callers, real problems, and real laughs. This episode showcases both regular callers and newcomers, each bringing a unique dilemma or hot take. If you love locker-room banter, unvarnished opinions, and wild audience participation, Episode 260 is a must-listen.

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Transcript

[Chris]

Yo, welcome to Crash Dummies episode. Is it 260? This is just me and Pat today, everybody.

[Pat]

Everybody called off. Yeah, the holiday Carrie said that she not coming in because this woman's international century. She ain't got to do. We say, I guess Gene is under construction right now. We thinking about you, My boy, he doing some good things right now.

[Chris]

Yeah, he'll tell you guys about it next episode.

[Pat]

You know what I'm saying? And, like, yay. It's just the guys. Hey.

[Chris]

And just because of that and how we're feeling today, we're gonna do a listener caller episode.

[Pat]

Damn.

[Chris]

I think we tried to do this before, and we said it, and then we didn't. So if you're hearing this, that means it actually was worth putting on. And I know people love those episodes. So we're gonna do a listener call episode.

[Pat]

We got y', all, bro. You see what happened when people go missing?

[Chris]

But make sure you guys subscribe to the Patreon.

[Pat]

Subscribe.

[Chris]

We putting episodes out there to up. Is two extra episodes out per month, right? To. Yes, Two extra episodes per month.

[Caller 1]

Boom.

[Chris]

Okay, Tour. What day is this coming out? Wednesday

[Pat]

will be.

[Chris]

We'll be in. No, you're still being Toronto, so you can still get your Toronto tickets.

[Pat]

You can get both of them. I mean, just one. The other one sold out.

[Chris]

The other one is almost sold out, though, the first show, so it might

[Pat]

be sold out by now.

[Chris]

Detroit. We see all on Sunday. Kitchen keep getting them tickets. Still tickets available. I think that's it. Merch is out of stock until after the tour.

[Pat]

Yeah, give us a little break. We trying, bro. Yo, yo.

[Chris]

That's not what we doing.

[Pat]

Hello.

[Chris]

The radio is for people who are driving.

[Pat]

I'll drive.

[Chris]

Welcome to Crash Podcast.

[Pat]

We gonna start with a couple tweeted weeks, because one, you talk about a situation like, don't. Don't put us in a group chat. Like, we don't need to be in a group chat. And y' all both like, somebody. Like, somebody did it the other day. They asked us for advice, and they put us in a group chat. The first one was funny. Like, dude, I don't know how the dude got us in a group chat. So it's just funny. We don't want to be in the group chat. Like, I might block you, bro.

[Chris]

You got me to the group chat, man.

[Pat]

How if I'm not involved?

[Chris]

You got me to the chat. Just chat me.

[Pat]

Yeah, just chat y. Or just chat me.

[Caller 1]

Don't.

[Pat]

I'm just saying don't Start a group chat. Y' all can still dm, but group chats are crazy. And the other thing he got, the dude got mad because I said that wasn't us in the picture. Because he's like, man, I've been knowing y' all since the Chicago pop up this picture. I told him, that's. That's pike and Matt. What Mo Hershey say? He said, they met the collision. Idiots wasn't even us.

[Chris]

The collision is just funny.

[Pat]

Okay, the other one, somebody in quotations, it says, drake got to start pretending to be a mob boss. Somebody responded, guys, If I work 9 to 5 and I get 500 million tomorrow, I'm telling you now, a few of you won't see the weekend.

[Chris]

I guess that is true, though.

[Pat]

Yeah. It's like, I hate when people try to define what's gangster going off. Like somebody's quote unquote aura or what they say it's about what they can do to you. Do I think I'm cooler than Jeff Bezos? Yes. Am I going to taunt in his face? No. You know what I'm saying? He got enough money to get you gone to. He got enough money to talk to somebody with more money than me. To talk to somebody with more money than me. It'd be seven people down the line, and the seventh person still got way more, like, more millions than me. And then that person could get me knocked off. You know what I'm saying? I'm not with.

[Chris]

I just don't think they're worth risking them. I think the people are trying to say it's like, there might not be any, like, popular mob bosses in the moment and, like, that. Popular?

[Pat]

Yeah, I don't think that's true. I think.

[Chris]

I think it's my boss.

[Pat]

Huh.

[Chris]

What do you think? Is a mob boss this so fat.

[Pat]

Which rapper do you think? Okay, the. The last tweet of the week. I want to talk about this. He said that Ice Tea Hennessy was a good idea. I'm not gonna lie. CIA.

[Chris]

No, I saw that. I thought those are, like, AI, like renders.

[Pat]

Oh, I generated.

[Chris]

Yeah. I didn't think those are real.

[Pat]

Yeah, it's.

[Chris]

I mean, drag Hennessy in a minute, though. I think we talked about this on Patreon.

[Pat]

Yeah, but Hennessy is actually obviously popular in the black culture. And then to throw, like, flavored Hennessy in it, just like, bro, like, what they trying to do to us, man? Stay healthy. Drink some. The purest tequila you can find. If you go and drink some tequila, they got some tequila At Costco is supposed to help you burn some fat or something. Go grab that. Unless they end up sponsoring our show, then that's what the fuck you should drink. Hey, man, I gotta make some money. I got a family.

[Caller 1]

Yo, what up?

[Caller 2]

What's up?

[Caller 1]

What's going on?

[Pat]

What up? What up? What up, man? I can't call out.

[Caller 1]

How y' all doing, man?

[Pat]

Can't call this either.

[Chris]

We got a question for you, brother.

[Caller 1]

Talk to me.

[Chris]

All right. What's a hill that you're willing to die on?

[Caller 1]

Oh, that's an easy job. We, we going with Friends is funnier than living single, dog.

[Chris]

On the show.

[Caller 1]

Yo, like, people be saying living single is funnier just because they black. And like, y' all could try to take my black card all y' all want to. I don't care. I'm like high yellow Drake. Anyway, so I' ma die on this hill. Living, Living single ain't got no quotables that y' all walking around just saying every day like, I don't want to hear any for anybody that's about to be in the comments. Oh, you have to do is start comment, bro. You look that up on Google, bro.

[Pat]

My heart, bro.

[Caller 3]

At all.

[Caller 1]

I'm gonna be honest, bro. I can't even tell you, really. No character's name on Living Single except for like, I think Maxine and that's

[Pat]

the name I was about to say.

[Caller 4]

Not definitely.

[Pat]

No. Way more.

[Caller 1]

I know way more right now. Tell me to.

[Pat]

I'm stupid Overton, bro.

[Caller 1]

Professor Ain't that Ogilvie?

[Pat]

No, no, no, no.

[Caller 1]

That's the Parkers. Oh, my bad.

[Caller 5]

That's the Parkers.

[Chris]

What do you like about Friends more than living Single?

[Caller 1]

Young Jennifer Aniston, bro. That's what I like.

[Caller 4]

That's what I like.

[Pat]

That's what I like.

[Caller 1]

Dr. Umar, don't call in with the dumb bro. Young Jennifer Aniston, bro. It is what it is.

[Pat]

I feel like. I feel like we should turn this into maybe your message to Jennifer Anderson.

[Caller 1]

Oh, all right, cool. Yo, Young Jennifer Aniston, right? Listen, right? I'm just trying to tell you right now. Like, I don't know why Ross thought y' all was on a break, but I would never be on a break with you. Young Jennifer Anderson. I'm a people to be like and when. And yo, we already don't with Nicki Minaj ass is because the she's been saying and doing so when she said, oh, I'm Angelina, you Jennifer, that was trash. They got my number and all that Cool, bro. Just hit my line. Young Jennifer,

[Caller 5]

Too, though.

[Caller 1]

But it's not about you, so, like, shout out to Maxine too. Young Jennifer, what's up?

[Chris]

Oh, man, you have a good one, bro.

[Caller 1]

Y', all.

[Caller 6]

Y' all have a good.

[Caller 1]

Y' all have a good joint too, man.

[Caller 5]

Love you.

[Chris]

All right. Oh, what's up with it, y' all boy? What it do? What it do, y' all boy?

[Caller 1]

Sliding. You can take my sleigh. I'm from Atlanta.

[Pat]

Oh, say that. Say that sentence again.

[Caller 1]

You beat me sliding. You could take my sleigh if I

[Pat]

beat you off sliding. Get this off the phone. Oh, you freaky gang.

[Chris]

All right, I got a question for you. That was. Oh, my gosh, bro.

[Pat]

Oh, that was Pat.

[Caller 6]

Yeah.

[Chris]

What's a hill? You willing to die on?

[Caller 1]

Stop trying to be a stepfather?

[Chris]

I feel like that's not. Like, I feel like that's not. Go ahead.

[Pat]

No.

[Caller 1]

For my young black man.

[Chris]

Okay,

[Pat]

what's age about 25. 25 and under.

[Caller 1]

Anything under 25, you shouldn't be trying to be no stepdaddy.

[Pat]

Okay.

[Chris]

Was they really like the girl?

[Caller 1]

Do you really like her that much?

[Chris]

If. If you're willing to be at 25. How old are you?

[Caller 1]

Nah, bro, I'm 24.

[Pat]

That's how you put. Trying to get yourself another year. One more year.

[Caller 1]

I do feel out. I do feel. I'm a single mom. Philanthropist.

[Pat]

Philanthropist. Spell philanthropist. We can continue the conversation. I swear. PhD. That's what I got it.

[Chris]

I feel it. All right, well, why. Why do you call yourself that, then?

[Caller 1]

I think I just attract them. Like, I see a girl, she be bad. I like what she owns. And then like, as soon as we. As soon as we get to talking, like, what's that in the background, man? Oh, I got a baby. How old is the baby? A couple months. Okay, I know what we finna do now.

[Pat]

No, a couple months is. Yeah. So you gotta. You gotta write for that. Like a newborn. I'm not dating anybody with a newborn. Like, yeah, let's see if it can work out with your ex first. Like, let's try.

[Chris]

Exactly. There's. That is still that, like, that time of, like, you're. You're going to be seeing your. Your baby father a lot in that moment, as if he's in his life, the kid's life.

[Pat]

He. The. My rule is he got to have at least 25 years in prison for me to step in with a newborn.

[Caller 1]

Now you got to be dead. Like, I think that what I'm going to start asking like, is he dead?

[Pat]

Yeah, the newborn is crazy. But what about like someone like, okay, you 24, right? And let's say, you know, she. She been on her grind. You like, what she doing? She. She also a 24 year old, but she got a kid. But that kid is like from an earlier mistake that she made when she was 18 and she was with some guy and totally changed around. She got a five year old now. What about that?

[Caller 4]

I might play pops.

[Caller 6]

You might do what?

[Chris]

He might play.

[Caller 1]

I might be pops.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Pat]

That's what I'm saying. You just need the situation.

[Caller 1]

I feel like you just feel like you can't really.

[Pat]

Go ahead, go ahead. This is also a dog. Oh, no shit. You. You just don't want no babies. Like, babies, babies. You okay with toddlers. That's the. It's the age of the kid that matter.

[Caller 1]

It's the responsibility for something that I ain't have. I think that really what it is.

[Pat]

You ain't got that. You ain't got.

[Caller 1]

They expensive, gang.

[Pat]

You ain't got the funds right now. Gas, $5 a gallon.

[Caller 1]

You down, right?

[Caller 4]

I don't got the phone.

[Chris]

No, I feel it, bro.

[Pat]

Now protect your peace, bro. Yeah, for sure.

[Chris]

All right. My assets. All right.

[Pat]

All right.

[Chris]

You have a good one, man.

[Pat]

I know. The goddamn ass little podcast.

[Chris]

Appreciate it, Mr. Philanthropist.

[Pat]

He still ain't spelled that, but yeah,

[Chris]

I think I do kind of agree with that because I think having a kid like 3 month old, 4 month old, I feel like you still have to work on that kid and be in that kid. Like you have to be with that kid almost 24, 7, and it's a

[Pat]

bigger impression, like now, I don't know, you know, I'm saying you're annoying me now and I don't want to be with you anymore. But I haven't been around this newborn since it was four months old. And now this kid is like, you know, a year and two months now. It feels like I'm leaving my family. Yeah, I'm doing the same thing the other dude.

[Chris]

I feel like if I had a. If my girl had a kid or like I was out with a girl that had a kid, I would. I feel like I would get attached very easily.

[Pat]

Yeah, man. Especially if I see he good at sports.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Pat]

It's my time, so let's get his last name changed now. Let's not wait till senior night.

[Caller 6]

Hey, how y' all doing?

[Chris]

Pretty good yourself, man.

[Caller 6]

I'm doing pretty good.

[Pat]

That's it.

[Chris]

You said pretty good. Where are you from?

[Pat]

Bro, this is, like. It kind of ended abruptly.

[Caller 6]

Chicago.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Pat]

You.

[Chris]

Were you at the Chicago show?

[Caller 1]

Wait, what'd you say?

[Caller 5]

Sorry.

[Chris]

Were you at the Chicago show?

[Caller 6]

I was not.

[Caller 1]

No.

[Chris]

Oh, lame ass, bro. Oh, damn.

[Pat]

I got a question for you, bro.

[Chris]

I'll let Pat talk to you.

[Caller 6]

What's up, bro?

[Pat]

That wasn't me. That was you. You literally called on the whole ass.

[Chris]

I did.

[Pat]

Yes, you did.

[Chris]

I did.

[Pat]

Just for not coming to the show. He's definitely not a whole ass. He might be broke as, but he does now. I got a question for you. I meant well. Prompt or something for you. Whatever. Name something you need forgiveness for.

[Caller 6]

Yeah, so. So, like, last night, I was. I was with my girl, and we just, like, we. Loki just got over a bit of a hump, and, you know, we're a little toxic. So, like, you know, the way we, like, smooth things over can be, you know, like makeup sex.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Caller 6]

And, you know, I. You know, I did my big one, and after, you know, we were. We were just talking, and, you know, I was just, you know. You know, I was gonna say something along the lines of, like, you know, this ain't her name, but I'll be like, sophie, I love you. And that's just not the name that came out.

[Pat]

Oh.

[Caller 6]

And I didn't really, like, realize until, like, I finished the sentence and I look up and, like, the daggers she calls eyes were just staring a hole through me, and I was, like, writing a short story.

[Pat]

The dagger that she calls eyes, bro.

[Caller 6]

That's what they are, bro. I can't. It's been imprinted in my brain since last night. Like, it's all I can think about because she's. She's so mad at me.

[Chris]

So who's the girl? The other girl's name. You. You mentioned.

[Caller 6]

So the other girl is, like, this girl. I used to talk to her.

[Pat]

Her name is Ava. Just dox her. But that's crazy, you know?

[Caller 6]

Yeah. So, like, you know, I. I did my thing, and I just looked up and I was like, ava, I love

[Chris]

you, and I really love it.

[Pat]

Have you ever told your girl that you loved her before? That I have.

[Caller 6]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Okay. That's always in the first time. And, like, did you ever tell Ava that you love.

[Chris]

Yes.

[Caller 6]

Yeah, but, like, not in the same.

[Pat]

Like, it's not the same, baby.

[Caller 6]

That wasn't the same strength. You know what I'm saying? As much meaning behind the word.

[Pat]

Don't worry, bro. You're not talking to her, bro. You ain't got a gaslight. Us

[Caller 6]

so so don't have to do no hard work.

[Chris]

So I guess my other question then is, since it was makeup sex, are you guys, like, broke up a little bit or something like that, Right?

[Caller 7]

Yeah.

[Caller 6]

Well, and it was because. It was because of Ava.

[Pat]

Oh, my God. What do you mean it was because what did you and Ava do?

[Caller 6]

Well, it's. We didn't even do nothing.

[Pat]

For real.

[Caller 6]

Like, she's just, like, the girl I'm with right now. She kind of has, like, trust issues with other dudes from, like, her past.

[Pat]

Yeah, I wonder why she doesn't trust me. She's probably seeing some patterns, I think.

[Caller 6]

Like, yeah, like, she's been cheated on before. So, like, I think she's, like, expecting the same out of me.

[Pat]

You got your green jacket. Me too.

[Chris]

So. So what did you and Ava do, though? You didn't answer that.

[Caller 6]

We, like, straight. We didn't even do nothing. Like.

[Chris]

Like what? Do you still have communication with Ava? You guys still talk? You guys are still friends?

[Caller 6]

No, we don't. Like, we don't talk anymore. Like, we're still like. Like, we still follow each other and on Instagram.

[Pat]

Bro. Bro. God damn. You see, we asking you a question, right? You. You beating around a bush. So when the last time you got had contact with Ava? Like, God damn.

[Caller 6]

Like, two weeks ago.

[Pat]

Like, come on, bro. Like, let's stop playing in our faces, bro. Like, like, you.

[Caller 6]

I don't know, but, like, what.

[Pat]

How did she find out? How did she. How did your girl find out you were talking to Ava?

[Caller 5]

Dude, this.

[Caller 6]

She wasn't even mad that we talked. Like, it was like, literally.

[Pat]

How did she find out that you and Ava. So she was with you when Ava text you?

[Caller 6]

Yeah, we were. We were. The socks.

[Pat]

Did she go through your phone after?

[Caller 6]

Oh, we don't do that.

[Chris]

So what was Ava texting you about?

[Caller 6]

Nothing. That's why she, like. Okay, so we saw each other at the Sox game. Ava saw me at the Sox game. Like, and we were playing, like, a little eye tag. Well, she was playing eye tag. I was not involved.

[Pat]

She was it the whole time.

[Caller 6]

Like, the thing is, is, like, you know, I look down to the. I look down a few rows, and she's looking at me and, like, you know, like, you just got that sense. So someone's looking at you. So, like, you look totally.

[Pat]

What did she text you, bro? You don't answer.

[Caller 1]

You didn't text me nothing.

[Pat]

You just hit you up during the game.

[Chris]

Now I can see why she has trusted the game.

[Pat]

So what the. Were y' all texting about.

[Caller 6]

There's no texting.

[Chris]

You just said Ava text you. That was the last time you talked to her? Two weeks ago?

[Caller 6]

No, the last time we spoke was at the Sox game two weeks ago.

[Chris]

Okay, you saw.

[Pat]

You spoke to her.

[Caller 6]

Yeah, there was, like, a little, like, high when she was growing up to

[Pat]

get some mentioned that.

[Chris]

Bro, I can see why she has trust issues. The way you tell stories, it's like you admit so much. As you can tell, you're omitting.

[Caller 6]

Yeah, you low key, right? Maybe I just gotta break up with her. Like, I think this one's far gone.

[Pat]

Like, now that I'm.

[Caller 6]

Now that I'm, like, verbalizing.

[Pat]

No way.

[Caller 4]

No way.

[Pat]

That's what you got out of that? That's.

[Caller 6]

No, I haven't, like. I haven't, like, spoken this out loud yet to nobody.

[Chris]

Your voice of reason, brother.

[Pat]

Nah, this is crazy.

[Caller 6]

Yeah, like, the light bulbs are kind of appearing above my head right now.

[Pat]

Nah, I don't think you even own the light bulbs. Them are stars.

[Chris]

My no said maybe I should break up with her.

[Pat]

Oh, that's a crazy.

[Caller 6]

It's one of those.

[Pat]

No, she should. No, in real life, she should break up with you. You don't sound like you're a good dude. It sounds like you omit information and you gaslight her into thinking something is. It isn't and isn't what it is.

[Caller 6]

Look, I'm. I'm a. I'm a gaslighter.

[Caller 2]

I'm not a villain, man.

[Pat]

Like. But, bro, you listen. Okay, so you said hi to Ava in front of your girl?

[Caller 6]

It wasn't like, all right, I wasn't like, hey, Like, I wasn't trying to start nothing. Like, she was coming up to, like, concessions or whatever, and she went high, and I went, hey, where was your girl?

[Pat]

When was it. When was your girl. When you said hi? She was around my arm. So she saw you say hi to the girl?

[Caller 1]

Yes.

[Pat]

Did she know who Ava was before you say hi?

[Caller 6]

Yeah, they used to be friends, like, way back.

[Pat]

Oh, my God. Oh, man. Can't with this, dude. What other question I got for. So when's the last time you and Ava text?

[Caller 6]

The last time we texted was. It was a while ago. Like, maybe, like, three, four months.

[Pat]

Three, four months ago. And then. So y' all randomly saw each other at a baseball game, and neither one of y' all communicated about going to. And then y' all haven't had any communication since?

[Caller 6]

No, that was literally it.

[Chris]

So.

[Pat]

So what is your.

[Caller 6]

That's why like, so.

[Pat]

No, no, no, no. Listen. So what is your girl saying is a problem?

[Caller 8]

So.

[Chris]

Okay, go ahead.

[Caller 6]

He thinks, like, she thinks, like, we're, like, I'm still communicating with her.

[Chris]

Okay, and then what was.

[Pat]

Why?

[Chris]

Why do you think? The reason you said Ava's name then.

[Caller 6]

All right, it's gonna sound like. And last the last eight minutes ain't gonna help.

[Chris]

Definitely not.

[Caller 6]

But I think it was just, like, I was in the mindset because, like, we, like, before we had, like, makeup sex, like, we genuinely had just gotten done talking this over.

[Chris]

Okay, okay.

[Caller 6]

Like, I think the situation was still, like, like a stormy cloud above my head.

[Chris]

So you were thinking about Ava during that time?

[Caller 6]

Well, not when I was doing my big one. I was focused.

[Chris]

No, no, I'm saying when you guys broke up for that period of time.

[Pat]

Yeah, that makes sense. I'll give you that. Because that's what the argument was about, was about Ava. Yeah. Like, and then you say, I love you, Ava.

[Chris]

So crazy.

[Pat]

No, it makes perfect.

[Chris]

No, I can. I can understand you saying, like, maybe saying another girl's name to your girl. Like, and that's the thing. If your girl name is Sophie and you want. You meant to say Alexis, right? And you say Alexis, and that's all you say. Okay, that's still fud up. But saying I love you, boom.

[Pat]

Ava, you didn't have to.

[Chris]

There's a whole, like.

[Pat]

Like, even if you were, like, unsure yourself, you didn't have to add a name, you idiot.

[Caller 6]

Well, I thought, you know, like, I

[Pat]

was really trying to, like, personalize I love you by saying another woman.

[Caller 6]

They can mean a little more, a little heavier.

[Pat]

You tried to personalize that I love you and said another woman's name. Like, you gotta be like, yeah, you

[Caller 6]

know, I fat fingered the wrong name. That's on me.

[Pat]

Fat finger. You gotta be top five dumbest person.

[Chris]

Okay, what happened after this,

[Pat]

bro?

[Caller 6]

She all right. She was spending the night, and she was like, I think it's just better I go home for the night.

[Chris]

Okay, good for her.

[Caller 6]

And I was. I was so shocked and appalled by what I had just said, and I was just like, I think that's for the best.

[Chris]

Now she definitely thinks you and Ava.

[Pat]

You know how to do it, bro. I honestly believe you.

[Chris]

Yeah, I do too.

[Pat]

I'm not gonna lie. You think?

[Caller 6]

Wait, sorry, like, hold on. What'd you say?

[Pat]

No, you heard me. I said I think you and Ava are. That's what I said.

[Caller 6]

No.

[Pat]

Yes. Yeah, yeah.

[Caller 6]

Like, maybe after I end this, like,

[Chris]

oh, he's still about to do it. Hey, break over right now?

[Pat]

Yeah, don't waste our time.

[Caller 6]

I probably.

[Chris]

No right now on this podcast right now. Just say it to her.

[Pat]

Stop wasting our time, bro.

[Chris]

All right, don't say her name. Just whatever her fake name was, just say that.

[Pat]

All right.

[Caller 6]

I think I gave her the name selfie.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Pat]

Oh, you good with names now, huh?

[Caller 6]

All right, all right, Sophie, I think we just, like, obviously during that, our. I gotta restart. Sophie. Sophie.

[Caller 2]

My bad.

[Caller 6]

All right, Sophie, I'm just gonna.

[Pat]

I'm just gonna

[Caller 6]

straight to the point, please.

[Pat]

This is over.

[Caller 6]

And I'm sorry I said the wrong name, but I got. I is beyond the horizon for me. And I'm also leaving you because you're not ambitious enough.

[Caller 2]

Hold on now.

[Pat]

That's too much, bro.

[Chris]

Airing out his grievances now.

[Pat]

No, we cannot let him bash her, bro.

[Caller 6]

I got more in the chamber.

[Chris]

Go ahead, bro. Speak your truth, brother.

[Caller 1]

Bro.

[Caller 6]

And I can't get over, bro. Her gay friend is not gay. Like, straight up. There's no way.

[Pat]

Well, why do you say that, bro? I don't know.

[Caller 6]

They just be like. Like, I don't know. I've never seen a gay dude touch a woman so much, and I'm like, I don't know. It makes me a little uncomfortable.

[Pat]

You want him to switch to you,

[Caller 4]

man?

[Pat]

I don't.

[Caller 6]

I don't shop on that side of the aisle, bro.

[Pat]

Oh, man, you're so good with the words, bro. Amazing.

[Chris]

But have you talked to her about that?

[Caller 6]

Have I talked about the gay best friend? Yeah, bro, that's like. That's my go to argument. That's my go to, like, deflect.

[Pat]

No, I think.

[Chris]

What do you gotta do to prove it, though? That he's gay?

[Pat]

I. I don't.

[Caller 6]

I'm not playing chicken with the guy.

[Chris]

Like, that's what I'm saying. How are you gonna prove it?

[Pat]

That's what I'm saying.

[Caller 6]

You either. I think it's one of those things. It's just. It's simply a hypothesis. But I'm. I'm not trying to experiment.

[Pat]

Oh, my gosh. I think we actually trying to make the. The callers longer this episode because this is a caller's only episode. Yeah, yeah. I did not pipe down a little. But like, this.

[Caller 1]

What the.

[Pat]

This dude make us not want to talk to him because he's like. He's not. He like one of them dudes that think he's smart because he used big words, but actually he's dumb as.

[Caller 1]

So.

[Pat]

But we're gonna let.

[Caller 6]

I never claim to be smart.

[Pat]

We're gonna let him continue because, you know, we need the extra 30 seconds. So what's up, bro? Sorry I had to do, like, an ad break.

[Chris]

Yeah, we muted you, bro.

[Caller 6]

Man, that's crazy.

[Pat]

What happened?

[Caller 6]

I was just told my vocabulary makes me sound dumb.

[Chris]

All right, bro. You have a good one.

[Caller 6]

You two guys take care. I'm gonna go break.

[Chris]

Oh, man.

[Pat]

Yo, yo, yo.

[Caller 2]

What's good?

[Caller 7]

Crash, dummy.

[Pat]

What's what up?

[Caller 3]

Said now.

[Caller 7]

I'm just chilling right now.

[Chris]

Where you from?

[Caller 7]

I'm from North Carolina. I was on here, like, a couple months ago.

[Pat]

Oh, welcome back.

[Chris]

Were you at the show?

[Caller 7]

No, no, no, no. I'm only 20, bro.

[Pat]

Oh, okay.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Pat]

You can't get in.

[Caller 7]

I need to, like, I' ma just, like, force my way in there, bro.

[Caller 4]

Y' all gonna let me in, right?

[Chris]

Try, bro. I don't know what security gonna do about it, but nah.

[Pat]

If we was in, what city was that? That was Raleigh. Yeah, if it was in Raleigh, you forced your way in there, you would have got the beat out of you. That was the best security. That was the best security guard we ever had.

[Chris]

Shoota, did you dirty.

[Pat]

Should have. Did you so dirty.

[Chris]

All right, I got a question. I got a question for you. What's a hill that you're willing to die on?

[Caller 7]

All right, so I think, like, as a man, like, you should not be mad if, like. Like, if you get, like, a home record. Like, if your girl cheating on you, like, you should just blame that on your girl, not the dude. Yeah, because your girl the one going.

[Chris]

Yeah, Yeah. I feel like that's like that for vice versa as well.

[Caller 7]

No, I don't know about all that, bro.

[Caller 4]

Hold on.

[Chris]

Wait.

[Caller 7]

Why, like, nah, girls shouldn't be cheating on their man. That's like foul as hell.

[Pat]

Oh, man, come on, bro, don't do this, bro.

[Chris]

What's the difference? You think you're lucky? This is a listener caller only episode.

[Pat]

Please.

[Chris]

We're gonna entertain this conversation.

[Pat]

Please. No, no.

[Caller 7]

Okay, I will listen.

[Pat]

Just listen, please. No, Please, please. No. Key and lock analogies, please.

[Chris]

No, go ahead, bro.

[Caller 7]

But listen, when girls cheat, it's like they be more.

[Caller 4]

What?

[Caller 7]

They do it. They do it to prove a point. When dudes see, it's just because they horny and they just trying to like you trying to get a nut off and.

[Chris]

Yeah, you don't think girls want to get a nut off either.

[Caller 7]

They can just rub they, bro, like. Or get a dildo or something. They ain't gotta go.

[Chris]

You can do. You can do the same thing they can do.

[Pat]

No, that's down bad.

[Caller 7]

You can't get a pocket as a man. That's crazy, man.

[Chris]

As a man, you can get a pocket. You can also get a dildo. I'm just saying, though, you got three options.

[Caller 4]

You on that free.

[Chris]

Oh, my God.

[Caller 7]

Why would a man get a dildo?

[Pat]

You in a relationship, Lucky? We need callers today. I'll say that, Lucky, bruh.

[Caller 7]

Die in a relationship.

[Pat]

It's a good day for you, bro.

[Chris]

Have you ever been in a relationship?

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Caller 7]

Yeah, I have.

[Chris]

And what. What happened to your last relationship? I'm assuming you cheated.

[Caller 7]

No, no, no, I didn't cheat.

[Pat]

He got his heart broke.

[Caller 7]

Never that. I just, like, he definitely, I don't

[Pat]

know, got his broken half. What'd she do to you, twin?

[Caller 7]

All right, I did.

[Pat]

And we already hit, bro. We could tell by the way, like, you talking. So you're talking so illogical right now. And the way you move. So a woman definitely stepped out on you across a boundary. That hurt your feelings. So what was it?

[Caller 7]

Yeah, I ain't go. I called it to one, like, one of the live shows, and I told y', all, bro, it was this girl I was messing with, bro. It's when I was in college, bro. And then, like, we stopped talking, and she, like, she the. With my hoodie on.

[Pat]

Was it a zip up? Oh, it was that. A full zip.

[Caller 7]

It was a weekend hoodie from Sheen, so I wasn't really tripping.

[Pat]

Wait, so it wasn't full zip? So she couldn't even zip it all the way down? Nah, I'm just.

[Chris]

She was, like, snug in the hoodie.

[Pat]

She was, like, in that. The sex air definitely went in the hoodie and got trapped.

[Caller 7]

Did you get that hoodie back, though?

[Caller 2]

It's crazy.

[Pat]

I was holding it back.

[Chris]

How'd you find out again?

[Caller 7]

I was like. Cause I told her I wanted my hoodie back, and she was like, yeah, she told me that. So I was like, damn, you can keep that ho.

[Pat]

He was probably honest. He was probably hitting it and grabbing the hoodie part, too. The hood

[Chris]

Thought he definitely grabbed the hoodie.

[Pat]

Definitely grabbed it.

[Chris]

Or did it have strings on it?

[Pat]

No, no.

[Chris]

I'm about to say. He must have had that, like, horse rains. It's all right, bro.

[Pat]

No, it's all good.

[Chris]

That don't have to be a villain arc, bro. There's good girls out there.

[Pat]

Nobody, like, there's women out there that won't do that to you, they're just one of your T shirts.

[Chris]

Or not tell you.

[Pat]

Yeah, she told you, too. You gotta appreciate her honesty.

[Caller 7]

Yeah, when she told me that, I'm like, that's cool. Now I know I can't with you because you moving crazy.

[Caller 5]

You out here.

[Pat]

Just. What the hell? It must have been uncomfortable.

[Chris]

Was it your girl girl or just a girl you were talking to?

[Caller 7]

It was kind of. We were just talking a little bit. Okay.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Pat]

I mean, some people got different dating rules, you know?

[Caller 7]

Yo, I don't know who's letting that slide.

[Pat]

That's a cuck.

[Caller 5]

What the.

[Pat]

Get a hoodie that say cuck on it. The Oregon cuck.

[Chris]

Oh, my God. All right, bro. You have a good one, man.

[Pat]

All right. Ohio State cucks.

[Chris]

Oh, man. Now he sounded hurt.

[Pat]

No, I knew. The thing about it is, like, when someone says, like, a bunch of illogical things back to back to back, like, oh, women can't do this, man. Can't do this. Is because they. It comes from hurt. Only hurt can make you that, Elijah.

[Chris]

Or fear of it happening, too.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Chris]

Because I think some of those red pill guys, I don't think all of them even been in enough relationships to maybe actually get hurt, but they've probably been around people that got hurt, and I don't want to be in that.

[Pat]

They got hurt before they know for sure.

[Chris]

I think a lot of them have. They.

[Pat]

All of them have. They just haven't done it on, like, that scale. Because a lot of them can get the girl in the first place. But think about when you was younger and you really like the girl, right? But you don't say nothing. Yeah. And then months go by and you don't say nothing to your friends. It's just kind of like this relationship that you got in your head, and then one of your friends actually starts talking to her because he actually says something, and they start dating. That's how they get they. You know what I'm saying? They ain't say nothing to the girl. Now she married, now he hurting. You know what I'm saying?

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[Chris]

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[Pat]

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[Pat]

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[Chris]

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[Caller 7]

Yo, y' all hear me?

[Caller 8]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Caller 1]

What up?

[Chris]

What up?

[Caller 2]

What it do? What it do?

[Chris]

Welcome to Crash on Me's podcast.

[Caller 1]

Man, what's up?

[Caller 2]

Good to be back. It's like twice in one week.

[Pat]

Damn.

[Caller 7]

Damn.

[Pat]

This is definitely a mistake. Did you make the podcast the first time?

[Caller 2]

Yeah, I did. It was the same podcast with the dude was talking about Pagan.

[Pat]

Oh, yeah. Maybe that's why yo called him make it man.

[Caller 2]

He said I couldn't have beat that.

[Pat]

No, I'm saying, like, as a clip.

[Chris]

Oh, yeah. Got you, got you. All right, I got a question. What's something that you're ready to crash out over?

[Caller 2]

Fake wannabe weed mans?

[Pat]

Okay. Talk about it.

[Chris]

What's your experience, brother?

[Caller 2]

I just feel. I. I just feel like if. If this the profession that you chose, you can't be one foot in the door, one foot out.

[Chris]

Okay?

[Caller 2]

Like, you put you. I hit you. You say, I'm on my way. Then you text me four hours later like, you still need that. Like, I'm. I'm calling the police that

[Pat]

you're gonna

[Chris]

snitch because you're not getting your way.

[Caller 2]

Yeah, four hours is crazy.

[Pat]

Four hours is crazy. Four hours. I didn't probably. I didn't Mission is crazy.

[Caller 2]

Came down and got high again. But see, it's not even that. It's like. Or they'll pull up on you with no bags and, like, putting crumbles of weed in your hand. Like. Like, what we doing, bro?

[Pat]

I ain't never had that happen before.

[Chris]

I don't think I've ever even had, like, a weed man before, to be honest.

[Pat]

I did.

[Chris]

There's, like, people I'd known. Like, you get, like, once in a while, but, like, somebody, like, how long you been with your weed man, Bro, I see.

[Caller 2]

I don't have a specific weed man. It fluctuates, okay?

[Pat]

Yeah, that's the problem right there, bro. You gotta find somebody, like, message out. I mean, you're not a good scholar.

[Chris]

That's the same thing with barbers. Like, we go to the same barber, right? And once you start going to the same barber of, like, two years, right? And being consistent, they will start making availability for you. Like, if you, like, need a quick.

[Caller 2]

That's.

[Caller 1]

That's.

[Caller 2]

That's true.

[Chris]

So you just. Bottom of the totem, the totem pole. That's All.

[Caller 2]

I mean, when you put it like that.

[Pat]

Yeah, it's, you know, it's people out here actually buying like a lot of weed. And that's who he catering to. And then here you come asking for a dub. He like, huh, probably dropped it right in your head. Little ass weed.

[Chris]

Threw that at your door like a newspaper, right?

[Pat]

Bro, you talking about a week supply. He put that in the whole blind. He looking at you like you crazy.

[Caller 2]

Listen, bro, the. The. The little spenders matter too, bro. I'm contributing.

[Pat]

Yeah, but as a little spenders matter. Like little booties matter, bro. Come on, don't do that, bro.

[Caller 2]

It wasn't supposed to. It wasn't supposed to come out like that.

[Chris]

I get what you mean though. Like, you're a little spender, right? But you also gotta know your place then if you're spending a little money.

[Caller 2]

I just want. I just want the standards for the little spenders to be a little bit higher. Like, at least if you're gonna make me wait no longer than an hour, at least have like a old chip bag or something to put the weed in.

[Pat]

Like, no, dropping it off in your hand is crazy. No matter. I get the type.

[Caller 2]

Yeah, like, that's crazy.

[Chris]

Little person too, then.

[Pat]

Yeah, time thing makes sense. But for him to drop it off in your hand never makes sense. It should always be bag.

[Chris]

I'm going sound like Pat. How tall are you?

[Caller 2]

5 7. Why y' all keep asking me that?

[Chris]

Okay, I sound.

[Pat]

It sounds small as.

[Chris]

Because it's just like certain things where it's like here a little like drop the weed in your hand. Just like.

[Pat]

They not doing that to a.

[Caller 2]

See, that's crazy.

[Pat]

They not doing that.

[Caller 2]

That's crazy. I can't do nothing about that.

[Pat]

They probably be driving on the top of his head.

[Chris]

Like I just say, though. No, look at you, eye to eye doing that, bro.

[Caller 7]

What you.

[Pat]

What you do for a living?

[Caller 2]

And then it's. I do merchandising merchant.

[Pat]

Like, what do you do for a living? So I can like, try to get this scenario to see what you would do.

[Caller 2]

You mean what I do for a living?

[Pat]

Like what's. Like, explain what you do.

[Caller 2]

Like, put the soda on the shelf, go to the next store, put this up. The soda. I got merchandise.

[Pat]

Oh, got it. You stop. Yeah, yeah. Like somebody that worked for Pepsi and they drive the trucks and they drop the. Okay, if.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Pat]

It only makes sense in this scenario. You drive a truck, though? Like a big truck?

[Caller 2]

N. No, I just like drive my

[Pat]

car store to store how? Like how much soda can you f in your car?

[Caller 2]

No, the soda already at the store. Like, it's deliver. They deliver it, and I take it all. Like, I don't take it off the truck, but they take it off the truck. I break the pallets down, you know?

[Chris]

Yeah, I didn't know they had, like, individual people for that type of thing.

[Pat]

No, I thought it was, like, the company that, like, the pop. The soda pop company that does it actually drops it off. But you going around, you don't want you the. That be making the pyramids and at the store.

[Caller 2]

Yeah, my be fired up

[Pat]

now. I'd be making the soda. Ignore loose, bro. Y' all crazy as hell.

[Caller 3]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Chris]

That's funny.

[Caller 3]

You going crazy.

[Caller 2]

So next time y' all go to a, a, a Walmart or, like, a woman's out here, that's me.

[Chris]

I feel it. What you got to say to your fake we man? What's your message to him?

[Caller 2]

My message is, if you gonna be late, at least throw a little something off or throw an extra nug in there or I will be contacting local authorities.

[Chris]

They're gonna be like, how you know

[Pat]

he said a nug. You said what?

[Chris]

They're gonna ask how you know?

[Caller 2]

I'm just an anonymous tip.

[Chris]

Okay, that was snitch, bro. All right, bro. You have a good one, man.

[Caller 2]

All right.

[Chris]

Yo, yo.

[Pat]

Welcome to Crashing's podcast, bro. What's good?

[Caller 7]

There we go.

[Caller 5]

We'll see what y'. All.

[Pat]

What's the word?

[Caller 5]

What's going on, cat?

[Pat]

Yo, yo, good. We got. You got two questions, so we gonna have to hurry you along. We don't mean to catch you.

[Caller 5]

Good, dog.

[Pat]

Okay. What's something you need forgiveness for? Damn.

[Caller 5]

Forgiveness for. Yeah, I, I, I. I got a. A glizzy during that Michael Jackson movie, dog. I got a glizzy. A hot dog. One of those Nathan hot dogs.

[Pat]

Like, is something you usually order when you go to the movies or is like, you felt. Was it a special occasion?

[Caller 5]

I was with my girl, bro. We was looking at the menu, you

[Pat]

know, we was going down to the

[Caller 5]

options, and I was like, I don't want no popcorn. I don't want no candy. And I looked at that glizzy, and I was like, damn, that glizzy kind of looking nice. And she looked at me like I was crazy.

[Chris]

No, don't stop him. Go ahead.

[Caller 5]

That jam was busting. I ain't gonna hold you. Shout out Michael, though. And that Joe had me tweaking the whole time. I seen in my dream,

[Caller 1]

I thought

[Chris]

you talked about me for a second. I was like, wait, what?

[Caller 5]

I don't see y' all in my dreams.

[Chris]

What's wrong with eating a hot dog, though?

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Caller 5]

Nah, it was mostly just a setting, you know, being in the. The movie theater, you know, eating that Jane, you know, I'm looking around, you know, everybody got popcorn.

[Chris]

Yeah, I feel it.

[Pat]

He said, everybody got popcorn. Let me get a hot dog.

[Caller 5]

I think a lot. The girl beside me, she was looking at me like I was crazy. I'm like, bro, I'm about to this up, bro.

[Chris]

I do. I kind of get it. It's just like, what you ate, what you were eating kind of seemed extreme for the setting because I feel like if you got a burger, kind of the same thing.

[Caller 5]

Yeah, I felt. I felt kind of disrespected because it was just. It was Michael Jackson. I felt like I did him wrong. I mean, I feel like the King.

[Pat]

You didn't eat his glizzy, so you good, bro.

[Caller 5]

You right. I ain't eat his glizzy.

[Chris]

You ate Michael's good.

[Caller 5]

I just hope nobody recognized my voice or nothing.

[Chris]

So that, bro, it's a hot dog, bro.

[Pat]

It had the bread on it though, right?

[Caller 5]

Yeah, it had the bread. Bread, ketchup, relish, you know, had the whole thing on it. Mind of fact, I just door dash two glizzies last night.

[Chris]

Oh, no. Okay. This little while door dashing hot dogs is crazy.

[Pat]

From where,

[Caller 5]

bruh? It's this place called Nathan's, bro. I thought it was like a fro fro hot dog place that came from Denny's, bro. I was like, damn, I ain't no Denny's. Whipping them up like that.

[Pat]

No, that's crazy. A Denny's hot dog, bro.

[Chris]

I just think doordashing hot dogs is just extreme because there's so many other options that you can get besides a hot dog. I guess sometimes a hot dog you walk. Go ahead.

[Caller 5]

My bad. Not the end of my city ends with berg. I live in the ghetto. It won't nothing open at the time.

[Pat]

Nah, that's the type of. Get a sandwich from H R Block. What type of. You got a hot dog from Denny's? You a different breed, bro.

[Caller 5]

I ain't know it was Denny's. Bird doordash play man, they said it was Nathan's hot dog.

[Chris]

How did you find out it was from Denny's, though?

[Pat]

It's a ghost kitchen, right?

[Caller 5]

I was.

[Caller 1]

I was looking at the.

[Caller 5]

The location. I was like, bro, let me see where this ain't at. I was like, rain. No hot dog place where I'm at. I was looking at the location. It said Denny's.

[Pat]

Wait, wait, wait. So you typed in hot dog? You didn't just run into it?

[Caller 5]

You know, it's crazy. I actually typed in glizzy. I didn't even think doordash was gonna even know what I was asking for.

[Chris]

Nah, that's what. Why were you craving hot dogs at that time?

[Pat]

You had a different side of doordash. This must be another app.

[Caller 5]

I don't even know. I ain't going to lie. It's cuz my girl ain't had the crib, so I kind of had been feeding myself for the last few days.

[Pat]

He said his girl go give me two hot dogs.

[Caller 5]

Yeah, I was like it, man.

[Chris]

Nah, eating hot dogs at your house is in general too, is kind of crazy.

[Pat]

And your girl's not there either, so you order two of them. Is so crazy, bro.

[Caller 5]

I ain't going lie. I had to wait for the door dash dude to leave. Brian want him see me pick it up at the door.

[Chris]

Walk those shades. You get a drink with it at least.

[Caller 5]

Nah, I ain't order no drink.

[Chris]

Oh, my God.

[Caller 4]

No baloney.

[Caller 1]

No baloney.

[Caller 5]

I had a bed, though.

[Caller 6]

I can't.

[Caller 5]

I can't just take the glizzy. Dry pause.

[Pat]

Oh, man. Can't even help you out there. All right.

[Chris]

What's something you about to crash out about, man?

[Caller 5]

My girl, bro. She be biting her nails, bro. You see, I be. I be trying to spoil her and stuff, you know, try to get her a little break, you know, get her nails done. And, bro, but she ain't got no nails to get done, bro. She keep biting them, man.

[Chris]

It bothers you that much, bro?

[Caller 5]

Yes, bro. It's like. Like, I don't know why, bro. It's like we be sitting in the car, bro, be told, silence, bro. I look beside me, all I hear is her just biting on her nails. I'm like, yo, calm down, calm down. I know you got a little tism in you just like me, but it's okay.

[Chris]

And where is she discarding the. The nails, though?

[Pat]

That's the key.

[Caller 5]

You see, that's the thing, bro. I don't. I don't really care, but it's like if I just cleaned out my car, bro, and I look over, I see you just, you know, fling that car, you know, I'm gonna get a little upset.

[Pat]

No, right? Rightfully so.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Pat]

You're not wrong on that one.

[Chris]

What's their excuse for that, like, when you bring it up to her, oh, she just.

[Caller 5]

Well, she'd be like. She just did it for, like, a long period of time, so she just kind of. It's just a habit for her.

[Pat]

Oh, man. But, I mean, I just be giving

[Caller 5]

her ass about it. She be good about it.

[Pat]

Okay. What's something that you do that she doesn't like

[Caller 5]

about? Everything. Probably know her ass.

[Pat]

But, like, what's something. Like, what's a. What's a habit that you have? Equ equivalent to her biting her nails and flinging it everywhere.

[Caller 5]

Damn, bro. There's so many things I could probably name. I probably just say get on her nerves in general. You know, I just wake up, you know, I just want to get on her nerves, you know, just let her know I'm here.

[Pat]

You're the one that's making her anxious. That's why she biting her nose.

[Caller 5]

No bulls. You gotta keep them under 10 toes, you know? Can't let them go. Go one second, you know, slack.

[Pat]

I feel it, bro.

[Chris]

Oh, all right, bro. You have a good one.

[Caller 5]

Hey, you too, man. Hey, I'm from Rich. Oh, damn. I got home inside my low, but Richmond with y' all heavy.

[Chris]

Richmond, Va. No, we're gonna be there soon.

[Pat]

No, we definitely got to come there.

[Caller 5]

Oh, for real? I'mma pop up for sure. All right. Me and my girl.

[Chris]

All right. Tell her to leave the nails throw. No buying her nails at the show, though.

[Caller 5]

Yeah, I ain't gonna. No nails, no glizzies. Just, I mean, hamburger.

[Caller 4]

All right, bro.

[Chris]

There we go. Relapsed.

[Caller 8]

What's going on?

[Pat]

What's the word, brother?

[Caller 3]

Good.

[Caller 8]

Pat. Okay, I gotta say Pat first off.

[Pat]

Okay.

[Chris]

Anything else?

[Caller 8]

Nah, that's all.

[Pat]

That's how, you know, people just use words just to use them. Like when you say first off, there's supposed to be a second off. Said first off. It didn't have a second it off.

[Chris]

What's something you willing to. What's something that you're about to crash out about?

[Caller 8]

All right, so this new girl just started at my job, and basically my coworker was, you know, telling me. He was like, you got to go ask her out. You know, you gotta. He's basically putting confidence in me. So, you know, I went to go ask her out to the Orioles game. He said yes and all this. And that's now fast forward this week. You know, I come into work, and he's dating her.

[Chris]

Oh, man.

[Caller 4]

So

[Caller 8]

I thought. I thought I was getting coached, but he was just. He was just showing Me?

[Caller 7]

Game film.

[Pat]

Oh, wait, wait. So you were you telling him stuff about her?

[Caller 8]

I didn't know shit about her, man. I just said, man, she just started, like.

[Caller 2]

Like that week.

[Chris]

Oh, so you guys never went to the game, then?

[Caller 8]

Hell no.

[Chris]

What did she say about it, though? She just. Did you just take it as it was already canceled, or did she say that it's canceled?

[Caller 8]

I took it as it was already canceled. And the way they're hugged up behind. The way they're hugged up behind the bar at work is like that.

[Chris]

Did you bring it up?

[Caller 8]

Snitch on them?

[Caller 2]

They gotta get fired?

[Caller 8]

Nah, not at all.

[Chris]

You're about to snitch on them? The H.R.

[Caller 8]

oh, yeah, definitely.

[Pat]

What kind of job y' all got? What kind of job? Don't tell us where you work at.

[Caller 8]

We work at a restaurant.

[Pat]

Okay, so y', all, like, all waitresses and waiters?

[Caller 8]

Yeah, you know the. That goes behind there? Yeah, she's a server. He's a bartender. I'm a server.

[Pat]

Wait, who? The bartender.

[Caller 8]

He's the bartender.

[Pat]

That's what it is right there.

[Chris]

Are you a server?

[Caller 8]

That's what it is. Yeah, I'm a server.

[Pat]

You know, they. You know, they top dogs around there,

[Caller 8]

definitely. And he's a real talkative guy, but I didn't think he would have stole my. Though, because he's bald.

[Pat]

Well, not your. And also not your woman.

[Caller 8]

Well, not my.

[Chris]

Not to anything, actually. Your co worker.

[Pat]

Yeah, I'm saying. Yeah, watch your mouth, brother. See, that's why you didn't get it right there. That. That makes sense.

[Chris]

Now you about to start a villain arc.

[Caller 8]

Oh, definitely. I'm gonna start off. I'm gonna start off by first telling the manager that relationship around the workplace.

[Chris]

Aren't they allowed to. You allowed to date your co workers? If you like, tell the. The establishment.

[Caller 8]

I mean, but

[Caller 6]

you got to keep

[Caller 8]

that at home, dog.

[Pat]

N. They. They can. They can kiss in the back of Texas row houses.

[Caller 8]

No, they can't. They cannot kiss.

[Pat]

They can. Bro, you didn't even talk to her, bro. You never really even talked to her.

[Caller 8]

I put in work, man. I bought the. I bought the. I got two tickets to the Orioles game.

[Pat]

Did you tell her about it?

[Caller 8]

Yes, she accepted it. That's what I'm saying.

[Chris]

But then. But you never even followed up, and

[Caller 8]

it was already cooked. What do you mean, followed up?

[Pat]

So you didn't talk to her all that time? Like, when was the game?

[Caller 8]

Oh, the game is next week.

[Pat]

When did you talk to her?

[Caller 8]

She started two weeks ago. I talked to her on a Monday, and I got her number, too.

[Pat]

Okay, so have y' all been talking in between that time?

[Caller 8]

All right, I talk to her more at work than I do over text.

[Pat]

Come on, man. Come on, man. Like, you got to be real with yourself. You not even when she. She's only talking to you when she's at work. When she goes home, she not talking to you.

[Caller 8]

You right, though.

[Pat]

Come on, now. You knew what it was. That's why dude was talking to you like that. He was trying to see how far along you. I'm just saying, he was trying to see how far along you. Well, that's why dude was talking to you. Like, let me make sure buddy ain't in there. Like, I'm in there. And then once he find out, like, damn. He don't even text her when she goes to the crib. This ain't even got enough confidence to talk to her. Give me that.

[Chris]

Now, Fabi ready to give y' all advice, cuz he got mostly sisters. Almost all sisters. So you'd be low, bro. In some of these, I feel like.

[Pat]

No, that's not low, bro. That's not low, bro, but that's, like, real. He sound like a young dude anyways. It sound like he like 22, 23.

[Caller 8]

Yeah, I just turned 20.

[Pat]

That's what I'm saying. It's a little ass, dog. How tall is you, too?

[Caller 8]

Oh, here we go, bro. Five, nine.

[Pat]

All right, we'll leave you alone.

[Chris]

All right, bro. Have a good one, man.

[Caller 5]

All right, bro.

[Caller 7]

All right.

[Chris]

Let a pod appreciate you, bro.

[Caller 3]

Yeah. Can y' all hear me?

[Chris]

Yeah. What up?

[Pat]

What up? What's the wordy?

[Caller 3]

What's up?

[Pat]

Shoulder. Hold on. All right, man, we got to get comfortable because we just took like a three minute break doing a callers only episode, so we a little fatigued, but we fighting through, bro. And we know that you going to do a good job.

[Caller 3]

Yeah, y' all hung up on me fast as hell last time.

[Pat]

All right, what are the odds?

[Chris]

I got a question for you. What's a hill that you're willing to die on?

[Caller 3]

I can cheat and lie, but I can still be a good partner.

[Pat]

I don't know what he said.

[Chris]

Say it again, bro. No, go ahead, say your answer again. Clearly.

[Caller 3]

All right, hold on. I can be a liar and a cheater, but they don't make me like a piece of. You know what I mean?

[Chris]

Okay, explain.

[Caller 3]

Oh, So you feel me? Like. All right, look, next. I got options, and. And I still refuse to leave them I still refuse to leave my girl for the mission. That makes me even more loyal.

[Chris]

All right?

[Caller 3]

Like, if I get like. Like, if I have a girl and I'm over here, like, like, like batter hoes, and. And I still refuse to leave my girlfriend. Yeah, that makes me even more loyal.

[Pat]

All right. Height and weight.

[Caller 3]

Huh?

[Chris]

He said huh.

[Caller 3]

All right, but. But I listen to the part. I know what y' all about to do. I'm five eight.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Pat]

High end weight. Yeah.

[Caller 3]

All right, I'm five eight. About 200.

[Pat]

No, no, no, no.

[Chris]

About 200.

[Caller 3]

Yeah, about 200. A little over 200. Maybe like 204.

[Pat]

Maybe like 204 to 11.

[Caller 3]

Okay, I see why we hung up

[Pat]

quick the last time. Like this. Literally. Bro, let me tell you how bad you are real quick, before we get you off the phone, we doing a listener caller only episode. Like, we damn near keeping every call. But we can't keep this one because

[Chris]

now we're gonna keep it so people know that.

[Pat]

That, you know. Oh, should we show them that? This one?

[Caller 6]

Yeah.

[Chris]

You made it, bro.

[Caller 3]

What's it called?

[Caller 5]

All right.

[Chris]

No, you made it to prove a point.

[Caller 5]

Look.

[Caller 3]

Yeah, I. I didn't even get to elaborate.

[Chris]

Go ahead, bro, elaborate.

[Caller 3]

Look, I can. I can't, like, treat my girl good. I can take her out and everything. I can be romantic and all that. Just because I step out and get a little variety, it'll make me a bad person.

[Pat]

A little variety.

[Chris]

The reason it makes. The reason it makes you a bad person because you're you. You made a promise to commit to one one another.

[Pat]

Yeah, well, you got a girl. You got a girl.

[Caller 3]

You got it for the other ones.

[Pat]

You got a girl.

[Caller 3]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Like, why do you want to do her? Like, what if she did the same thing you doing?

[Caller 3]

Hey, nah, chill out. Hey, look, I support double standards.

[Pat]

I support double standards. But. But listen, I'm letting you know now that if you think that you getting away with this and you think she don't know you. Crazy, crazy. She's just doing the same thing. You must be. You must be paying for them 100.

[Caller 3]

Because in the past they've done the same thing.

[Chris]

Because the way you talk right now is like, you don't sound like he's super sneaky with it, because any as a is cheating on this girl, they wouldn't call a podcast and say that they're cheating willingly.

[Caller 3]

She'll listen to it.

[Chris]

It doesn't matter, though.

[Pat]

But people will get her this clip, you know? I mean, all we gotta do is Make a clip. And then people will hear this. They'll hear the confidence in your voice, and they'll make it their main mission for her to find.

[Caller 3]

Find it, bro. They. They ain't gonna track it back down to me.

[Chris]

You coming to the live show, though?

[Caller 3]

I'm in Texas. Yeah. Y' all coming to Texas?

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah, we. We think about coming. Should we come to Houston, Dallas? What you think?

[Caller 3]

But I see what you do it.

[Pat]

No, I'm just saying, where should we

[Chris]

come to in Texas?

[Pat]

You don't want us to come to Texas? Yeah, I told y'.

[Caller 6]

All.

[Caller 3]

I mean, there's. There's several. There's several big cities.

[Pat]

No, no, listen. No, listen, bro. We don't. We. We live right now. We trying to promo our Texas tour, so we really need you.

[Chris]

All right?

[Pat]

We about to lock back in.

[Chris]

You ready?

[Caller 3]

All right. All right. Y' all can do what that is. Houston, Austin, too.

[Pat]

Okay. Okay. And we gonna give you free tickets, too, because. Free ticket. Just let us know which show.

[Caller 3]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Huh? Just what show?

[Caller 3]

What do you mean, what show?

[Pat]

Just the Dallas, Texas or Houston one? I meant. Oh, sorry. Dallas. Houston or Austin, man?

[Caller 3]

All right, I'm to Dallas.

[Pat]

You to Dallas. Okay, that's better. We got you, bro.

[Chris]

Where you from? Like, what are you, though?

[Caller 3]

I ain't from Dallas. So you ain't gonna give me.

[Chris]

That's fine. It's. It's okay.

[Caller 1]

I'm.

[Chris]

I'm like, what are you, though? Like, you're. A little accent.

[Caller 3]

See, bro, Y' all trying to get it, bro.

[Chris]

Are you gonna answer the question or not, bro?

[Caller 3]

All right, it. I'm Mexican.

[Chris]

You don't say.

[Caller 3]

I never thought I got a thick accent.

[Pat]

N. He can't say that, bro.

[Chris]

I'm just saying.

[Pat]

Now, come on, now. No, he do got a thick accent, bro. You. You from El Paso?

[Caller 3]

Nah.

[Chris]

All right, bro.

[Caller 3]

No, I'm from South Tex.

[Pat]

N. No, you not.

[Chris]

You know, he. He do sound like from South Texas, though.

[Pat]

No, he not from South Texas.

[Caller 3]

Yeah.

[Chris]

All right, bro.

[Pat]

He a never even. Texas.

[Caller 3]

Yeah. Yeah. Hey, that's a Patreon or a regular pod.

[Chris]

It's regular pod, bro.

[Caller 3]

Yeah, I'm a Patreon listener both ways.

[Pat]

You about to be single soon, too.

[Caller 3]

Hell no.

[Chris]

All right, bro.

[Caller 3]

That's the thing about having options. I can't be single.

[Chris]

Oh, man. All right, bro.

[Pat]

Y. What's the word, brother? How you doing, bro? Welcome to Crashing Me's podcast.

[Caller 4]

Welcome back, y'. All. Did it ask me the last time. I'm gonna let it slide, though. Y' all call back what.

[Chris]

What I do? What we do.

[Caller 4]

Y' all ain't add me to the pot last time. Y' all was tweaking because. Had a fat ass or some. I don't know.

[Pat]

Cause what.

[Caller 4]

Y'. All. Y' all called me last time and y' all was asking about the top fives. Y'. All. Y' all was beefing because I. I was throwing. I was throwing little iggy way or some.

[Pat]

Okay, I don't remember that.

[Chris]

All right?

[Pat]

What's like a fever dream or something?

[Chris]

What's a hill that you're willing to die on,

[Caller 4]

man? America was not meant to be monogamous. We are not supposed to belong to one person for the rest of our lives. If you listen to that outside out loud. If you say that shit out loud, it sounds like modern day slavery.

[Pat]

Okay, explain.

[Caller 4]

All right, so think about it like this. Right when you grew up, you had the love from your mama. You had the love from your granny. You had people at your church showing you love. You had people in your community taking care of you. A new baby would be born in your neighborhood. Everybody show up with gifts. What's your baby registry? What you need? Y' all need a crib. We got you. Y' all need some formula. We got you. Y' all need some Pampers. We got you.

[Caller 2]

You.

[Caller 4]

But we got so selfish along the way that we think, me, me, me. We supposed to have a world. That one girl's supposed to have all of your attention. It's not supposed to work like that. When you get a woman in your life, she's supposed to bring. She's supposed to act. Y' all are supposed to build. You supposed to be twin flames. Y' all get together and your light shine brighter, but that's only amplified by more people. You know, beauty is in the beholder. If you think that your woman is bad, somebody else think your woman bad, too, gang.

[Chris]

Okay, that's a thought.

[Caller 4]

She not gonna be beautiful without the validation from other people. I'm not saying go get a holdess for everybody. What I'm saying is you should probably have multiple women taking care of you.

[Pat]

I feel like you skipped a couple steps.

[Caller 4]

Okay, okay, okay.

[Pat]

We got here pretty quick. He just dipped us over here.

[Caller 4]

I hear you. I hear you.

[Caller 1]

Okay, but it's.

[Caller 4]

But it's real, gang. It's real. Think about the. That go to work and got their work life, and they come home and they got their home life. They. They symbiotic. They living in the same plane. Don't Nothing about that universe has changed. They simply exist in different spaces. Okay, Like, I'm sure you've had a woman call you handsome, and then you've had a woman go out and hypersexualize you.

[Chris]

Okay, Those are all thoughts, though. I feel like those are nothing.

[Pat]

I feel like you just say a bunch of random, and then you go

[Caller 6]

back to your point.

[Pat]

It's like you gotta, like, tie it in for us.

[Caller 4]

Like that is evident.

[Pat]

You have it. I mean, let me tell you, you gotta. You gotta. Idea. Idea. Do I agree with the idea? No, but that's your opinion, and there's other people that share your opinion. And then you take us to your point, which is a point, and it's the own idea of itself. But there's no middle part connecting anything. You're not explaining anything.

[Caller 4]

Okay, all right, so let's.

[Caller 3]

Let's.

[Caller 4]

Let's give us a little history lesson. We all came over here on like, 13 motherships or something like that. Santa Maria to Anne Claire, whatever you want to call it, man.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Caller 4]

When they snatched us up out them villages, man, it took a vil. You can still go to places like the Mecca and you can find men that have 20, 30, 40 wives. You know what you don't see in those communities? Structural collapse. You still have those strong bonds that bring communities and people together. You got five or six women that'll walk to a village just to get water. Y' all are sending five women out there to go get water 50 miles in a 120 degree heat. Look, while there's still women at your house taking care of you.

[Chris]

So are you. Are you. You're saying that. Are you saying this just from a man's perspective, though?

[Caller 4]

Are you asking if it applies to the female?

[Chris]

Yes. Because you. Your. Your broader statement was about monogamy.

[Caller 4]

Sure, There. There is a Cleopatra out there. Yeah. No, my. You're right. My statement was about monogamy. I don't believe that monogamy is meant for people today say.

[Caller 1]

Okay, it was.

[Caller 4]

It was something. Let me. Okay, let me preface. That was something that the Protestant people that came and settled in America pushed to the masses. Bro, they stripped you of your education, they stripped you of your religions, and then they came over here and they shoved the Bible down your throat and said, hey, man and woman come together and submit unto God. That's a whole different conversation for another day.

[Chris]

Okay, but. All right, Mr. Bitches, how many girls you got?

[Caller 4]

In itself is. Oh, man, okay. I got a Sugar Mama, like 70 plus. I don't date nothing under 25, bro. You don't. You don't need that. Don't bring you nothing but heartbreak and felonies.

[Chris]

Okay, so how many girls you gotta be? You only said one.

[Caller 4]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[Caller 7]

It's a lot.

[Caller 4]

It's a lot. It's a lot. Now, they don't all know about each

[Chris]

other, but if you're so old, if you're so passionate about monogamy, why aren't you, like. Like, preaching that to the woman that you're with as well?

[Caller 6]

You.

[Caller 1]

You.

[Caller 4]

Look, because the woman today has been conditioned. But believe what she hear in the media, in the music.

[Pat]

Got it on the news. But why don't you. But why don't you find. But listen. But listen, listen, listen. How old are you?

[Caller 4]

26, five days ago.

[Pat]

Wait. How old are you? 26.

[Chris]

I'm not gonna lie. You sound 40.

[Pat]

Wait, okay, but.

[Caller 3]

Hell.

[Pat]

But listen. But listen. So the thing that's bothering us, right? You. You. You about to. You about to name off your roster. You about to go through your roster, whether it's three, four, five women, whatever it may be, and you're trying to. Like, basically you're saying you. You have this because the world isn't meant to have one wife. But there are women that believe in what you believe in, and you don't have any of them. You don't even have one.

[Caller 4]

No, no, no, no, no, no. Some of them women is on the program.

[Caller 1]

Yeah, that's.

[Caller 4]

That's beside the point. It's the way it sounded like he was wording. Your question was, how do you introduce a woman to that? And that's a very different.

[Pat]

But why are you trying to. But why are you trying to. But why are you trying to introduce. But you haven't even practiced it yourself, so you don't even know if you fully believe in something until you start that life. At least with one woman that believes in that direction. Before you even get your second woman, you know you're doing that.

[Caller 4]

You can't uncommit me. This has been my life for, like, three years.

[Pat]

I'm not trying to uncommit you. I'm trying. I'm trying to. I'm trying.

[Chris]

We're trying to make it more efficient.

[Pat]

We're trying to commit you more, nigga. Like, we want you to go all the way. Like you dipping your toe in the water. Yeah, you. You dipping your toe in the water. You can't take women that. Who actually want to have just one man and try to convert all of them to this or even take one.

[Caller 4]

What you speaking of? You saying I can't go steal somebody else's female?

[Pat]

No, no, no.

[Caller 4]

She's already a part of this lifestyle. She probably belonged to a community.

[Pat]

Turn off that brain real quick. Turn on the ears. You thinking too much.

[Caller 4]

You think.

[Pat]

Thinking way too much. Much. All we saying is there's already a community that exists the way that you're talking. So why not just join that community and find someone that's already on that route there? Then you can come back to maybe pushing that agenda after you get started. You trying to push an agenda that you ain't even involved in yet. You don't even do that

[Caller 4]

gang.

[Caller 5]

You.

[Caller 4]

Can I. How do I prove this to you? What part of these women been rocking with me for three, four years? They. They know. They share beds. They go on trips together. They in group chats. Okay, I hear that part.

[Pat]

I don't. I don't remember that part. Maybe I wasn't listening.

[Caller 4]

Yeah, no. See, a female put me on to the game. I didn't even know. I didn't know nothing about that. I didn't know it was women rocking like that or nothing. Okay, so I used to work for a big Fortune 5 company, Smile Direct Club. They make, like, dental liners and like that.

[Caller 8]

That.

[Caller 4]

This little Muslim lady came up to me and she said. She broke it down to me like this. She said, my husband got five other wives. If he gonna go cheat on somebody, he gotta cheat on all six of us. They throwing hands with him. Look, but at the same time, he has to be able to still provide for not one, but all of those women. All of those.

[Pat]

LeBron.

[Caller 4]

Not one, not two. Combined household. All right, Right, right.

[Chris]

So how many. How many do you want to marry these women? Like, so do you want, like, wives? Right?

[Caller 4]

Okay, so you. Then you. When you. You talking about a legal barrier.

[Pat]

No, no, no, no.

[Chris]

Not even talking about, like, the government. Okay, you want five part, like, how many partners do you want?

[Caller 4]

As. As many as I can handle. Where the. Where everybody's happy, right? Coming in and she don't mess, she out.

[Chris]

Got it?

[Caller 4]

You see what I'm saying?

[Chris]

So what's your. With your financial situation, right? What's your. How many women do you think you can be in a relationship with?

[Caller 4]

Man, it really. It really just depends on the year. So I only work three months out of the year. I vacation the other nine. Close to 250. $250,000 a year. I left the US three years ago. The last time y' all talked to me, I was here domestically, and now I live in Mexico.

[Pat]

Okay, all right. But like. Okay, so. But earlier, the reason I got on you because you said sugar mama.

[Caller 4]

Yeah, that's one of the few she had. She. So that's her own lane. Like, she got her own house. She owned the block she live on. She owns seven other houses in that community.

[Pat]

Okay, okay, okay, I understand that she cut a.

[Caller 4]

For walking through the wrong.

[Pat]

Okay, but that's what I'm saying. But so is she a part of this, like, this team that you're trying to build?

[Caller 4]

She'll support it. If a girl need her bills paid,

[Chris]

she there, man, they got his own system, man.

[Caller 4]

You got say this woman can't. She got to go to the hospital. Let's say for whatever reason, shorty leaves the program, go. Gets knocked up by a deadbeat, and now she needs to rely on the community to. To step up. Now is she gonna be a part of the life? No, but is we gonna just drop the off at the fire station? Drop a young lady off at the fire station? No. You know, you grow together, you build bonds with these people. You have love for them.

[Chris]

We're not like, I'm not gonna get on you for the way you look, because that is your life. There are people that's. Those lifestyles work for certain people. I think the. The main. Our broader point was that the way you were preaching and you said you had the sugar mama and then you had some other girls that aren't part of the program yet. So that was where I was trying to get.

[Pat]

I was like, okay, you everywhere, bro. It's everywhere. You're not. You're not living right. So, like, you can admit that you're not doing. Doing it the right way. That's all we're trying to say, you know, you're not doing it the right way right now.

[Caller 4]

I ain't figured it all out yet.

[Pat]

Okay, listen. Because, listen, you didn't gave us some metaphors and talking about ships coming over and all this, so it sound like a. That got it together. That's all we was trying to say is you ain't got it all the way figured out.

[Caller 4]

Well, travel. I haven't been to 40 plus countries on the same.

[Pat]

I mean, I just feel. I just feel like people should have it a little bit more figured out and. And at least be living the lifestyle if they come with an opinion on a show that's listening to like 500,000 plus people a month. You know what I'm saying?

[Chris]

So it just like because what you're saying, too, is that, like, obviously monogamy is. Monogamy is not meant to be a thing. Right. But it is working for a lot of people. Half the country is probably.

[Caller 1]

It's.

[Caller 4]

It is okay for some people. Some people don't have the emotional capacity for more than one person.

[Chris]

You just feel like you should be. Like, you feel like there should be more options presented as, like, the normal norm.

[Caller 4]

Look, it's people who check out early because they find out that. That girl that went off somewhere. Everybody can't handle that.

[Chris]

Okay. Hey, hey, bro.

[Pat]

So what happened when they find out when all three of their girls went outside? They really gonna get it? Yeah, maybe.

[Caller 4]

Look, hey, you find your answer for your situation? Maybe I'm just a stepping stone. A flashlight in a darkness.

[Caller 2]

This.

[Caller 4]

They gonna see the light come that way.

[Pat]

The porch light didn't even turn on.

[Chris]

All right. You have a good one, bro.

[Pat]

Hey, hey, hey.

[Caller 4]

I. With the podcast. Y' all keep going.

[Pat]

I appreciate you, bro. Also, this. This tweet a week says when you drop mediocre brown and get an infinity wipe.

[Chris]

Mediocre brown.

[Pat]

When you drop mediocre brown and get an infinity wipe.

[Chris]

Wipe.

[Pat]

You get it. That's actually crazy.

[Chris]

Oh, man.

[Pat]

Yeah, that mediocre brown, like, when you poop that out, bro, he about to be wiping for days.

[Chris]

I. I think I became a wipe guy later. Later in life.

[Pat]

No, I mean, at least you found out.

[Chris]

Yeah, I think I probably been using wipes now for, like, there was a point with this podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Pat]

You discovered it. Like, y' all had to give him a little bit more money for the. To clean his ass correctly.

[Chris]

I just. I was just an infinity. I was just. I was just a, like, long wiper. I used damn near half a roll,

[Pat]

but it still doesn't get everything.

[Chris]

Yeah, but I also. I always also time my. My poops when I'm about to shower as well.

[Pat]

Okay.

[Chris]

So I shower. It's like, every time I poop, poop, I shower.

[Pat]

Yeah, it's some wet wipe niggas out here that don't shower. You know what I'm saying? Like, they should just, like. You know what I'm saying? The surface clean. There's still some grimace people were, like, upset at. Some people were upset at Jackson Dart for introducing Trump at some Trump event. He always got one going on. And then some people were mad because Abdul Carter, his teammate for the New York Giants, they both play football. Ladies. I'm sorry. Some of the ladies. And he said, this is how we roll in. I don't know what the. The tweet was like.

[Chris]

No, I saw what you meant.

[Pat]

Whatever I say he said, how about that?

[Chris]

It was. It was along those lines.

[Pat]

Yes, it was along those lines. And everybody, like, some people was mad at Jackson Dart. Some people was hyping up Abdul Carter. Like, yeah, get him. Some people was mad at Abdul Carter. Like, why would you say that? And I think it's like, obviously, like, with sports, they try to keep politics away. That's like the, like the main spot.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Pat]

But finding it depends on, like, especially now, right? Finding out your QB is maga. Like, that affects the team. Like, I don't give a. Now.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Okay.

[Chris]

Especially because Jackson Dart was like, you know, when there's like that white boy that kind of like, has the swag with the change and like that.

[Pat]

He fooled me.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Pat]

I ain't going to lie.

[Chris]

So I think just in, like, culture, like, just black culture in general, like, he was. They kind of like, accepted him in that. Yeah, the chains and him get like

[Pat]

that type of his relationship with Malik neighbors. I'm thinking he locked in with the guys and shit. Whole time he got a red hat in that locker room.

[Chris]

And it's like, your. Your political views are your political views. But like, if you're like on stage with the nigga, it's like, okay, you're like.

[Pat]

Like, this is your guy.

[Chris]

You tapped in.

[Pat]

Like, you too. Like, you might even know what's happening at the straight of Muse. And we don't. Like, you got like, ins or some shit, bro. So it just like, it does.

[Chris]

It does like, it does. Like, kind of like the locker room does get affected that way, though, especially at quarterback. I feel like if your quarterback is just like, bro, you got to play Switzerland. Yeah, you got. You got it. Like, you can't have, like, strong opinion or voice your strong opinion.

[Pat]

Kind of like Drew Brees. I'm pretty sure you Brees lean more Republican.

[Chris]

Yeah, exactly.

[Pat]

But, like, he still messed with the city of New Orleans and he didn't really, like, push the agenda that much to where, like, people could see. See, like Jackson Dar. You can't be introducing Donald Trump and expect me to catch this. Catch this slam ball, bro. Or block it. Got maga span on him, bro. I couldn't get it. No, man. No, mate. Make a. I don't know what the. I'm trying to say.

[Chris]

Oh, shout out to our comment section because last week I feel like there was a lot of comments, even a lot of the ones that are Disagreeing with us about like the roast and all that other stuff.

[Caller 3]

Stuff.

[Chris]

I like to appreciate the people that disagree with us that actually make like, like educated points on why they disagree. Not just like, oh, y' all dumb as. Although there was some of those ones, but there was actually people giving their opinion on something. Because I don't. We don't. Y' all don't always have to agree with us. And because we don't, I sometimes I say I said that last week or I disagree with myself or my mind can get changed. So I like, I appreciate the comments, good or bad, but especially the educated ones that disagree degree and you got

[Pat]

to be educated like, bro, if you want to be funny and troll, at least do us a service of putting a time stamp of when you were talking about. So if you go, oh, Pat sound is so stupid here, right? Don't just say Pat sounds so dumb over the whole podcast. Like, oh, Pat sounded dumb. This episode put the time stamps where you thought I sounded dumb so I can put the time stamps of when I'm gonna beat your ass. 001 now as you.

[Chris]

As we rounded out two or two, like, shout out to everybody that came out this show. I want to just give a big thank you for that. For people that came out the show, bought tickets, bought merch, bought Patreon. Am I slamming the table? Yeah, I just. I even told myself not to slam on the table.

[Pat]

Slamming the table during the time you thanking people and.

[Chris]

But no, they just to let you know why you QB clap, you know,

[Pat]

when the crowd too loud.

[Chris]

No, I appreciate y' all continue to support us to continue to. What else do we.

[Pat]

Yeah, let us know. Obviously. I hope y' all know like a lot of the tour. Like I say, like 50 of the tour had to do with places y' all told us. I would say like 75 of the merch we put out has been like off some of your suggestions and stuff that we put together. You know what I mean? And so keep shooting out ideas. For every hundred dumbass ideas, we get 10 really good ones. And sometimes like, literally somebody that gave me an idea for like a segment one time I had scrolled up through the Instagram and he said 20 other things. And I looked at all of them and said, damn, maybe do cooking. And he didn't. And it was 20 stupid ass things. But the last thing he said was great. And I used it in the episode and it went over, went over good. So, like, keep shooting, y' all shot. We appreciate all the feedback, even questions

[Chris]

that we should ask the listeners because there was some. Somebody's somebody that was saying. Sometimes the questions get repetitive. And I hope you guys noticed, like, the past couple episodes, we kind of switch it up. But give us some more questions y' all want to hear people answer or different, like, ideas for topics.

[Pat]

You see where we putting this at? In the pocket. If we wanted everybody to know this information about what to suggest, we would have put at the beginning of the pod, put it at the end of the pod. For the people that rock with us, that listen to them, and every word we say, we appreciate y', all, let us know. You know what I'm saying?

[Chris]

It's been episode 260. Peace.