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Co-host 1
You can Venmo that.
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Co-host 2
All right, real quick. So I don't want this to be part of Tweet of the Week. I just want to get this out the way. Okay, So a man sued his employer for racial discrimination and settled the case. Right. When he took the settlement check to the bank to cash it, the bank didn't believe it was real and called the police on him, which led to another racial discrimination lawsuit. Imagine doubling up like that. I'd be smiling like a motherfucker. I'll say. I think it's not real.
Co-host 3
Okay. The lawyer.
Co-host 2
Talk about. Hey, you cash that check yet? Hey, don't even cash yet.
Co-host 3
Oh. Welcome to crash dummies, episode 215.
Co-host 2
Yeah, yeah.
Co-host 3
Right, right, right, right, right. Okay, okay.
Co-host 2
Shout out to the 215. Who's the 205, Donald? Somebody in the 205. Like that knows for real. I didn't know if that's real.
Co-host 3
Oh, make sure you guys subscribe to the Patreon. What else we got? What else we got? Oh, yeah, check out the Poor Minds episode. It came out on their YouTube channel, man.
Co-host 2
Shout out. Obviously. Shout out to the ladies again.
Co-host 3
Yeah, yeah. It was a dope episode.
Co-host 2
It. It was. It was a different element for us because obviously you'll see some parts of the podcast where we don't talk about relationships and stuff or our personal life as much on this podcast when it comes to that stuff. So the ladies was definitely bringing it out of us. You know what I'm saying?
Co-host 3
It was a dope episode. I think it was. It was interesting because that we shot the episode almost a month ago now. Like three weeks ago, maybe. Right. So I kind of forgot what I said. So it's like. It's always interesting. It's like one of the podcasts I actually kind of listen back to, because sometimes when we shoot a pod, it's like, out the next week. So I already knew what I said, so I'm not, like, really watching through it. I was like, let me see what I actually said here. But it was a good episode.
Co-host 2
Yeah. And it's dope. Also, to see our crossover, I didn't know our crossover community was that big. Like, it's actually crazy of how many people watch both of us back to back. So dope as hell.
Co-host 3
Yeah.
Co-host 2
Shout out to the ladies. Shout out to poor minds. That whole team. Whole team fire.
Co-host 4
I remember the karaoke.
Co-host 2
Oh, the karaoke. I definitely. I definitely. I remember every move I did for the karaoke because I knew I was going to have to do karaoke. Yeah, every move in there. It's practice. Was that in the vlog?
Co-host 4
Was that in the vlog?
Co-host 3
No, it was. It was in there. It was at. At the end of the episode. So it says first topic. I guess Houston Barber started a membership for haircuts. $150 a month.
Co-host 2
That's a good deal.
Co-host 3
That's a. That's what I was thinking.
Co-host 2
Amazing deal. So you. What's. But there has to be some type of max limit on it. No, I would say.
Co-host 3
And you can get. I think. I think you can for once a week.
Co-host 2
Once a week. Okay, that makes sense.
Co-host 3
Which is a good. It's a good frequency to get a haircut.
Co-host 2
I don't know how much y' all paying for haircut, but that's why some. Some people hair, like, look like how I look. You know what I'm saying? Because they paying $20 to their cousins now.
Co-host 3
Gone are the days of the 20 cut. I missed those days, bro.
Co-host 2
You can't get for 20. You can give a barber $20, they liable to pull a gun out on you.
Co-host 3
I started, like, paying my. I guess our barber. We kind of have different barbers in a sense, but we started paying them, like, a lot differently now. And I just don't. I'm the type of person, tell me what your actual price is. So then if I'm tipping, I know what I'm tipping. You know, it can be more consistent. And he's like, oh, yeah, I increased the price for this person for everybody else, but now y' all grandfathered into the new price. Now I feel bad because, like, I don't want to keep giving the same amount. But now I'm at the point now it's like 50 a cut and $50 a cousin. It's. That's a lot of money.
Co-host 2
Like, what you pay.
Co-host 3
Yeah.
Co-host 2
Oh, okay. I ain't gonna tell you what I. I know it depends on, like, if you can't. To me, I legit when I tip now, like, obviously, I stay. I try to stay above 20, like, when I eat out anything. But when I tip now, it's definitely about the service and it's just like, okay. Damn. I didn't even know my hair could look like this. Bam. Here goes something like, okay, you, me up. You me up. Here's a piece of coin.
Co-host 3
One time I think I. I tip like, all right. I paid like 47, right?
Co-host 2
Yeah.
Co-host 3
And he was like, damn, what happened to 50? I was like, bro, who said that?
Co-host 2
Did you know who said that's crazy asking what happened?
Co-host 3
I was like, dad, I can't choose the amount that I want to tip every time.
Co-host 2
I'd be like, I know. My bad, bro. I got you. And I would have took my money in love. Come get it in. Bl. If you don't find me before my hair grow back, bro, ain't nothing you can do about it, bro. Haircut now.
Co-host 4
You think we got to raise the expectations for barbers. They got to be like a therapist at the same time and.
Co-host 2
Yeah.
Co-host 4
Hit you with the steamer on the face.
Co-host 3
I think. I think there's. There's good barbers, and I think there's a. There's a level of. There's a limit to how good of a barber you can be.
Co-host 2
Yes.
Co-host 3
You know what I'm saying? There's only so good that it like a lining can. Can look. You know, there's no. There's no more making your lining look any better. So I just think you're less.
Co-host 2
Tiana Trump was a bar. I don't think we can get any further. You know what I'm saying? It's like at some point, it. It does cap out and there's nothing like, how many hot towels?
Co-host 3
And yes, that's all fluff and hair removal.
Co-host 2
The little thing that go over the hair, the. It don't. It don't cut your hair, but it get all the loose hairs and they're like, I'm getting all the loose hairs. Every time they do that, I get it out the way, like, man, get the out of here with this. I ain't paying you 5 extra dollars for that.
Co-host 3
No, this be barbers now. They're doing like the whole face mask, which is like, thing to do. No, the face mask stuff is dope. All the. The little extra stuff is like more of like a. A spa day type of thing for.
Co-host 2
Dudes now especially thing wash their face. Yeah, but I got you.
Co-host 3
I do think it is important though, because, you know, hot towel treatment and all that. Cuz when you do, you know, get haircut, you can get razor bumps and like that. So there's stuff to kind of prevent that. And getting the facial Once a week, I guess, is not that bad.
Co-host 2
I do appreciate. I do barbers. Barbers are not like Ubers, though. I said, huh?
Co-host 3
I said, you've grown up. Proud of you.
Co-host 2
Well, I missed it.
Co-host 3
No, you was, you was okay. Don't worry about it. Don't worry.
Co-host 2
I'm reading lately, so my mind, like, on a different way, you know what I'm saying? I've been listening to more Bob Marley, but I appreciate because barbers are not like Ubers. Like, Ubers can be silent and that's good. Like, nobody can really. You can't really get your haircut in silence. It's kind of awkward. But I do appreciate the barbers that have their own stories. Like, oh, man, last week, this girl such and such, such and such. Because I hate being interviewed. Like, don't interview me. Like, don't ask me how my week is. You see my lining? Do it look like I'm not stressed? See these grays?
Co-host 3
When did you stop letting your dad cut your hair?
Co-host 2
I think my dad never cut my hair, but my uncle did.
Co-host 3
When did you let stop letting an adult cut your hair? I guess.
Co-host 2
I guess a relative. Okay. I stopped letting my uncle cut my hair when I started smoking his weed. I had some of this weed before and I was high as and he always smoked before he cut my hair. It's like, no way. There's no way you could be cutting my hair. This is some good ass weed. Some good pure Michigan weed right here, bro. You shouldn't be touching my hair. Do you see Drake on stage at his festival? What is that?
Co-host 3
Wireless.
Co-host 2
Wireless festival. He made a controversial statement saying that UK rappers are better than American rappers.
Co-host 3
You know?
Co-host 2
You know why someone who likes UK rappers? First of all, you're not going to get away that easily. I knew you're going to try to, like, slither your way. Yeah. Answer the question. Is he lying? Is he telling the truth?
Co-host 3
Are UK rappers better than American rappers? It's hard to say. And I think the. The way this things kind of started because Skepta and Jordan Lucas kind of been going back at it. Yeah, I guess kept that really going to him. But there's more really good American rappers than they are really good UK rappers. Like, some of my favorite rappers in the UK are like, Dave, right? And I do think Dave is better than a lot of American correct rappers.
Co-host 2
Yeah.
Co-host 3
Is he the best rapper? To me, no, he's not the best.
Co-host 2
So it's hard to know what Drake is talking about. Like, do you consider Jay Z retired? Are you Talking just current American roster versus current UK Roster, then I can see like, kind of like maybe a battle. You want to put, like, Dave and Central C up against, like, some of the top guys in the U. S industry. But if you talk about, like, of all time, obviously you drunk. Yeah, it originated in.
Co-host 3
Yeah.
Co-host 2
America.
Co-host 3
I mean, it's. It's always going to be a hard debate because America. It's not. It's not debate. American rappers are just way more popular and when there's a lot more of them doing it. So it's gonna be better. There's gonna be better products here.
Co-host 2
Yeah, the hip hop. But the hip hop culture is about some. Something that was created in America. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. So, like, the root of it is here. And like, for people to live and rap about that stuff, they had to somewhat be born here. And obviously there's other stuff that goes on in other countries that can be rapped about, but I feel like it all comes back to here.
Co-host 3
I think it's the same thing, just a numbers thing. It's just like saying, are European football soccer players better than soccer players here? And we're like, hell, no. It's just more popular there.
Co-host 2
Yeah.
Co-host 3
And it's been there longer and it's been like the root of, like, communities there. So it's embedded there. So I would say. Yeah, I think he was in the. I think he was there. He was in the moment and it was. He's front of a UK crowd. It's just. To me, it's like you're in a different city, pandering to the crowd. Yeah. And you're like, this is the. Y'.
Co-host 2
All.
Co-host 3
Y' all the latest crowd I've ever been in front of type of thing.
Co-host 2
Yeah.
Co-host 3
I do think UK rap is underrated, for sure. I don't think. But I think it's because the. The relatability to people here and the accents probably kind of throw them off. So there's like. Or I can't take you serious. Or you don't sound what I, you know, quote unquote, gangster enough that you don't sound dangerous and like that. So it's different.
Co-host 2
Yeah, that too. I. I do like UK rap and I do think there's a lot of.
Co-host 3
Yeah.
Co-host 2
Great UK rappers. But Logic will be top 10 over there.
Caller 1
Nah.
Co-host 2
I. With logic, but he not top 10. You know what I mean? Just like, in that sense of like. Like, it depends on who the audience is.
Co-host 3
And so Skept Skepta made a diss track On Jordan Lucas. Right. And people were kind of clowning it, especially because there's just some bars that just didn't really make sense to, like, the. The wide crowd and stuff like that. But one bar that he did say was like, over here, I'm like, you know, I'm basically like Jay Z over here. And you're not. That you're not even top 10 in where you're from in that sense. So it's like there's only a couple rappers that can even say anything to a UK rapper. It's like if the top ones. Because, like, I'm like, Dave is a top rapper in the UK, right?
Co-host 2
Yeah.
Co-host 3
And who can name anybody, like a 21 Savage. 21 Savage. He's. I want to say he's a top 10American rapper.
Co-host 2
I would say 21 Savage is top 10.
Co-host 3
Top 10, huh?
Co-host 4
And he considered from over there.
Co-host 3
Now he is kind of over here. So we got 20. They got 21. They got 21.
Co-host 2
No, but I would say. I would say 21 is bigger in America than Dave is. And that. That's what.
Co-host 3
Yes, 21.
Co-host 2
I feel like that's what they're going for. They can. They can lie and say that, you know, they're trying to be the biggest in the uk, but they're trying to be the biggest in the world. And when you try to be the biggest in the world with hip hop, you got to have America on your side. Saying that's part of it.
Co-host 3
But I think, I think also, though, it's, It's. It is a more cache as when, like, I'm known, like, in my country, a whole country for doing this thing and people with me, rather than if you're known in just your city here or just known because the world is big, it's like, yeah, America is just like, you know, it's not the world, so it's different.
Co-host 4
I think.
Co-host 2
I think that's Drake's pushback, though. I think that's like his whole pushback. My bad.
Co-host 4
I think they just got the wave, you know? Yeah, okay. Got the wave. Hip hop has been around for barely 50 years, you know, a little over 50 years in America. So is like just now spreading, like, more worldwide and being more popular and like, especially music.
Co-host 2
That's what I think Drake's pushback is to the whole thing is. I think the. The whole argument to me is this is how I look at the quote unquote beef is like one person saying, this is the root of hip hop. Only we, only us should speak about gangster Hip hop and what goes on in the streets, and then other person are just like, you don't even got the whole world's ears. Yeah, I got the whole world's ears. And these people can be played in different countries. Like, obviously, like, okay, if 21 Savage did a concert in Atlanta and Dave did a concert in Atlanta, 21 Savage would sell out more.
Co-host 3
Yes.
Co-host 2
Right. But it's saying, like, do they know Dave or 21 Savage and belt in Belgium? Which one would they know more over there? You know what I'm saying? Just because he's already over there and we know how, like, that works with traveling and stuff like that. So that would be.
Co-host 3
Yeah, it's different because especially with. With the. The whole of Europe being countries, it's the way they get to different countries is the way we get to different states.
Co-host 2
Exactly.
Co-host 3
So it's like, it's. It's different. Even though the size, there's a ton of people here. So it's always going to be an argument that I think you can't.
Co-host 2
But Drake's wrong, though.
Co-host 3
Yeah.
Co-host 2
But I don't know what he's talking about. But also, just talking to a crowd.
Co-host 3
Though, I feel it.
Co-host 2
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Co-host 3
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Co-host 2
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Co-host 3
Yeah. And it actually tastes like a milkshake as well.
Co-host 2
Yeah.
Co-host 3
So a lot of proteins say milk milkshake.
Co-host 2
Come on, don't bring that to the ass.
Co-host 3
Milk is weird. Milk milkshake. Milk milkshake. Milk milkshake.
Co-host 2
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Caller 1
For real.
Co-host 2
That's one take. I want y' all to know that.
Caller 1
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Co-host 3
Of whatever you're carrying today.
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Co-host 2
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Co-host 3
1-800-Contacts. I saw a post that said parents respect you more when you. When they don't see you often. And I think that is so true. I feel like my dad respects me a little bit more when he doesn't see me as much. But I think when, if. When I was around him as a kid, I feel like, you know, it was just like it was more chances for him to say something bad about me, you know, or you get annoyed about me.
Co-host 2
You can't really grow in front of your parents. Yeah, that's why you gotta leave. Because there'd be times when I used to go back home from college. Like, if I did, I would make mistakes around my mom that I wouldn't make by myself when I was on my own. Like, damn, I forgot the key. I forgot this. I forgot that. Because, you know, you got that little extra layer. Like, all my mom is there.
Co-host 3
And like that.
Co-host 2
It's just like.
Co-host 3
What? Do you believe that, Jean?
Co-host 4
Yeah, I think that's important. I think you got to make sure you like, actually growing, though. You can't be, like, calling every time asking for help and like that.
Co-host 3
You know, I feel it.
Co-host 2
That's the thing.
Co-host 4
But like, they appreciate that too.
Co-host 2
But, you know, the sibling. The siblings help you also, though, like, when you grow up, like, no shade to none of my siblings, but I'm the most successful sibling. I'm kidding. But it just like when your siblings start to make mistakes and you don't make that mistake.
Co-host 4
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Co-host 2
And more likely your parents don't know you made that mistake because you just not buy them.
Co-host 4
It always been that way as, like the youngest child, too.
Co-host 3
Yeah.
Co-host 4
Your older siblings make the mistakes and. Yeah, yeah, don't do that.
Co-host 3
I think when I moved, though, I think when I moved away, that's what. Because I moved away before my brothers didn't. They were still, like, in the Chicago and they were like, still close, like, walking distance away from where my dad lived and stuff like that. So it was easier when my brother is annoying my dad. Oh, your brothers are doing this and that, and then I'm over here probably making worse mistakes, too.
Co-host 2
But you don't even know what's going on.
Co-host 3
Yeah.
Co-host 2
I am not paying that loan back. You saw Clay Thompson.
Co-host 3
Just spoke into Existence.
Co-host 2
He talked him right up.
Co-host 3
Hold on. I'm about to tell him. Okay. Hello? Hey, dad. No, no, I was gonna say. I was gonna call you back. I just. I started doing the podcast.
Co-host 2
Okay, go ahead.
Co-host 3
Okay. Everything good. Okay.
Caller 1
All right.
Co-host 3
All right.
Co-host 2
He said, why are you laughing?
Co-host 3
They don't like that. You know. What, you think that going on, like, some funny going on.
Co-host 2
That's like that video I showed you. Oh, did you see Klay Thompson with Megan Thee Stallion?
Co-host 3
Yeah.
Co-host 2
I couldn't understand why that was such big news. And then I realized how few celebrities like minority celebrities that we have dating. And obviously, she just. Her last boyfriend was an NBA player. I think it was Tory Craig.
Co-host 3
Tory Craig, Yeah.
Co-host 2
But Klay Thompson's like a different type of pop popular, obviously, any NBA, because they don't have on any helmets or gear. You kind of like, see their face. They're like, a lot more popular and obviously NBA money. They're in the limelight a little bit more. So you. You see that? You see, like, Klay Thompson and Meg the Stallion. It's like a clash of, like, things that you've grown up with. Like, in the last six years, we've, like, endured Megan Thee Stallion, and like, you're an NBA fan. It's like the last 15 years, you and Dirk Clay Thompson. And now it's like a. It's like a crossover episode.
Co-host 3
It is very like. Oh, damn. They. They. It's a random kind of couple in this.
Co-host 2
Yes.
Co-host 4
That's like Allen Iverson and Fergie.
Co-host 2
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like some weird.
Co-host 3
I think it's Clay, too, is such a. Like a. I would say he's pretty private dude, too.
Co-host 2
Yes.
Co-host 3
Like, he's not. Like, he's not posting every day and all this other stuff. So he's kind of just like in his own world, in a sense.
Co-host 2
Yeah.
Co-host 3
This is.
Co-host 2
This is first real baddie.
Co-host 3
Nice. Last girl look good, too.
Co-host 2
No, I'm just. But you get what I'm saying.
Co-host 3
No, I know what you mean.
Co-host 2
Like, of that stat is an attitude. Like, you know what I mean? Like, it's like confidence. Like, oh, damn, she bad, bad. Like, she can get any guy in here.
Co-host 3
She chose me.
Co-host 2
But I. It's funny. That's like a relationship. I don't believe Until I see on video. Because I've seen like the sneak pictures, the soft launches that both of them have posted, but until I see it on video, because me thinking of who Meg the Stallion is, even though I do see how they can mesh a little bit. But me seeing Meg the Stallion and me seeing who Klay Thompson is, I just PR sign. Yeah, I don't know who. Coming out with a movie. Y' all be on the lookout.
Co-host 3
Did you see that TSA is. You don't have to wear your. You don't have to take off your shoes anymore.
Co-host 2
Oh, okay, good.
Co-host 3
And I was kind of. I was kind of bummed out about that because as a TSA precheck member.
Co-host 2
I personally. It's a TSA preacher I don't like.
Co-host 3
You know, when, you know when you get the benefit of something and then the other person that doesn't have that benefit now gets that benefit. Yeah, but I saw. So I was seeing tweets about it, right? And now I can't really see the tweet that this was commented under, but basically somebody was saying, oh, we don't have to take our shoes on. I'm kind of worried about that now. Right? And then somebody said, they can literally see your dick with their machines relaxed. So then I then went and did some research to know if the TSA machines can see your genitals.
Co-host 2
Bro, why do you think I go to the bathroom every time before we go through tsa? They gonna see me at my best. I guarantee that.
Co-host 3
So I. I use Chat GPT and it says.
Co-host 2
He'S faggot.
Co-host 3
It says, TSA body scanners don't show your generals directly. At least any. Not anymore. Here's a breakdown what TSA sees now. They use an automated target recognition software that screens your generic human outline, right? And what it used to be like around before 2000, around 2013, was they could display detailed, almost nude like images. They don't do that anymore because, like, privacy concerns. But I need them to bring back the old machines, the dick machines, trying to see dicks.
Co-host 2
Because that's why I knew that tone changed when I walked through that. Do this, do that. As soon as they lie. Oh, let him through. Yeah, Everybody lean over to the screen in the same.
Co-host 3
Oh, no, that's crazy. See your dick print in the. In the machines is crazy. Cuz as a TSA member, they probably have started playing games like, hey, bro, what. What's the longest one you think you going to see today? They got big on their big old cards and you know Almost like fishing. I got a 24.
Co-host 2
Hey, he 55. A God come through that. Yeah. Soon the TSA machine go through soup. Yeah, yeah. I told you.
Co-host 3
Yeah.
Co-host 2
Have some respect. Yeah, I bet you I don't gotta get my own bag.
Co-host 3
Or you start getting he started. Like, why y' all checking my back? Hey, pipe down, bro. You should not be yelling at me.
Co-host 2
They going through your bag and, hey, man, you got this computer and these condoms. What's wrong with the condoms? Come on, now. This is way too big for you. These xl. We saw your do. We got to pull your up. Zoom in on this right there.
Caller 2
That's your dick.
Co-host 3
You got. You got anything in your pockets?
Co-host 2
Yo, man. Yo, man, you got to take that safety pin out of your pocket. You telling me that's your dick?
Co-host 3
You, like, start looking at his wife. I don't know how you do it.
Co-host 2
That's your husband. Oh, my God. That's crazy. See all the toys in her bag? I understand. I understand. I went. I went to the. We. We. Our studios by a sex shop store or sex toy store.
Co-host 3
I went, drop the holo. Go ahead.
Co-host 2
Huh. So, anywho. It's so. So I went there and I didn't know. They try to help you. That's what kind of threw me off. I feel like that should be like, some. Some private stuff that's going on.
Co-host 3
Oh, they like to know what you're into.
Co-host 2
Yeah, it's just like. Yeah, exactly. Like, what type of ring do you want?
Co-host 3
First question.
Co-host 2
What type of question is that?
Co-host 3
So do you consider yourself a bottom?
Caller 2
A top?
Co-host 2
That's crazy.
Caller 1
Is.
Co-host 2
Is this going in you or on you? Is this going in you? It doesn't, like, you look kind of tight back there. I would go with the smaller version here. You new to this? Take them to the rookies. These are our. The fitting rooms around the corner. Actually, this just a display dick. We have the real. Sir, please use a sock or.
Co-host 3
Please.
Co-host 2
Do not actually use the equipment. Yo, this one don't fit. Yo, how you know that?
Co-host 3
You know going there to get a mold.
Co-host 2
No, that's. That's crazy. I didn't know. There's, like, mole kits there.
Co-host 3
You can mold your own.
Co-host 2
You could. Usually it's the partner that wants your thing molded so they have it like if they're on the road or something like that. So I guess that, like, that's the thing. To me, it's just like, would you do it? I. I thought about doing it before, but the concept of, like, oh, you want me to get Hard and hold it, hold it. Hurry up. No, no, no.
Co-host 3
That's not my hardest. They might. They might give you a molding kit to take home, though.
Co-host 2
That's what I'm saying. That's what they do.
Co-host 3
Okay, but you with your girl, she.
Co-host 2
Make it hard and. No, no, that'.
Co-host 3
Or you bring back the mold and be like. I'm like, y'.
Caller 1
All.
Co-host 3
You know, you can go back and you get on hard when you do this, right?
Co-host 2
No, she call you like, hey, Bab. Hey, babe. How's girls night going at the house? Babe, I got some bad news. They found your mold. They thought it was a Tootsie Roll. Yo, what's the deal? Welcome to Crash on Me's podcast.
Caller 1
What's up, bro? How y' all doing?
Co-host 2
Good, good, good, good. Name something you got away with.
Caller 1
All right, so it was my sophomore year in college. I had seen a shorty walking around the campus. I was plotting on it. I linked the shorty pull up to the spot. We get to doing. We doing. Take a little intermission. And I swear to God, bro, she was like, you all your girls, like, this whole time, me and my battle was not gonna get no butt until I turned 20. It was two weeks before I turned 20. Went back again, hitting the jump, and then from that point on, I just been on a tear, bro.
Co-host 3
What'd you get away with?
Caller 1
Oh, bro, I was a verge the whole time.
Co-host 2
Yeah, that's usually how I start.
Co-host 3
You lose.
Caller 1
No, no, no, no, no. She didn't know.
Co-host 2
How do you get away? Yeah, usually people don't say, like, I'm.
Co-host 3
A virgin.
Co-host 2
Before they have sex. No, y. Y' all not. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Caller 1
Y' all not really thinking about what he didn't say after the first round, bro.
Co-host 2
I'm hearing what she. Some people.
Caller 1
Some people perform so good first time.
Co-host 2
Yeah. You know, it's been people that's been having sex. Dudes has been having sex and say it was 13 and they still bad in bed at 30. It's like, either you got or you don't got it. It's not some that you just put in hours in the gym and geeked about. That's right. Her first time, too.
Co-host 3
I think there's hours in the gym. Could help, though, huh?
Co-host 2
It can help certain people. Some people just got it like that. I'm saying. You just telling me.
Caller 1
You telling me I'm a natural? That's back what you just told me, Pat.
Co-host 2
You got it.
Caller 2
You said it to me.
Co-host 2
You got it, bro. I'm fine, you won this round, but I swear to God, next time you come back on this podcast, I got something fun. Beat your ass, bro.
Caller 1
You mad at me?
Co-host 2
Yeah, I'm pissed, bro. That's a good one.
Co-host 3
All right, bro.
Co-host 2
You have a good one version.
Caller 1
Yo.
Co-host 3
Welcome to Crash Enemies podcast.
Caller 1
What's up?
Co-host 2
What's the deal, Brody?
Caller 1
What's up, bro?
Co-host 2
I feel like we ain't talk to nobody yet.
Co-host 3
Yeah, it's up.
Co-host 2
He sound cool. That's like giving him a chance.
Co-host 3
It's up because it might be rude to, like, the people watching, but, like, they don't know how many callers. Like, this person could be like, the 20th call, and we're kind of just like, trying to get over it.
Co-host 2
They should be like, lucky number 27.
Co-host 3
I got a question for you. When did you know it was your last day of work?
Caller 1
Oh, yeah. When the person had been there for five years, it was making the same amount as me. They ain't move a position or nothing.
Co-host 3
That is a good realization, though. Like.
Caller 1
Yeah, no, like, I asked somebody. All right, so I don't know if y' all ever did, like, a warehouse job, but it was like, really? It was like 80 hours a week, you know, like, you can't leave until the job is done type of thing. Like, they're giving us Red Bull and Gatorade on our bricks. You only get 30 minute break.
Co-host 2
It's called a plantation.
Caller 1
Well, I asked someone's like, bro, so like, are you using this for, like, a stepping stone? Like, what are you doing after this? He was like, nah, bro, I got another five Emmy. And I was like, yeah, that's it, bro.
Co-host 2
Another five Emmy. It's crazy.
Caller 1
Yeah. Like, they prison bids, bro. I ain't doing that.
Co-host 2
No, that's crazy. That is. I. I have been at jobs.
Co-host 3
Yeah.
Co-host 2
Where I was just like, yo, if this is my life. Because obviously I used to be in education. Like, I used to be, like, teaching and stuff. And it's like, bro, you ever get that one thing? I think it was like, I was at. I was at a high school, and some kid came up to me and said my shoes was ugly. And I just like, yo, we wasn't here. I beat the. Out yourself. I need to quit, so I can't no defend myself.
Co-host 3
It is up. Looking up, like, the. The leadership ladder and, like, knowing that the pay jump. It's like, because I. I turned down the. Oh, yeah, you're all good now, bro.
Co-host 2
You want to stay?
Caller 1
What'd you say?
Co-host 2
You can stay while we talk.
Caller 1
Yeah, I mean, I just want to know if I'm in the.
Co-host 3
Well, I was saying that. I remember I was up for a promotion at my job, and it was maybe like a $5,000 pay increase, right? But it was like triple the responsibility. And I was like, nah, I'm okay.
Co-host 2
Hey, people beg to be salary. I'm telling you, bro, you don't want to be salary.
Co-host 3
No, salary is like, you work eight hours.
Co-host 2
It's be seven o', clock, the bus. Like, we have to get this done or the company's gonna go down like pizza. I'm out here. But no, what I realized is, like, if you're working at a job and a person that's above you, your supervisor is driving a Toyota Camry. Get the out of here.
Co-host 3
That's how it was a good car.
Co-host 2
No, Toyota's the best one. I've seen a bunch of mechanics talking. It was just like, I drive a Camry. Yeah. They said that's the most reliable car. Yeah. Cars up my car 200,000 miles.
Co-host 3
Yeah.
Co-host 2
God damn. That car didn't seem segregation. Hey, man, I remember when you couldn't even ride in the first seat with her, man.
Caller 1
What's good?
Co-host 2
What's good?
Caller 1
Y' all boys on that boy change his voice.
Co-host 2
You can just use your real voice, bro. You good.
Co-host 3
I got a question for you, bro.
Caller 1
All right. What up?
Co-host 3
What's something you know about someone that could ruin their life?
Caller 1
My dad's living a secret life currently. Secret family, everything. Like, secret money, everything.
Co-host 3
Like, right now?
Caller 1
Yeah, right now.
Co-host 2
How'd you find out?
Caller 1
Going through his phone?
Co-host 3
Why are you going through your dad's phone?
Co-host 2
I'm glad you found out. Like, as we get further into this, but this is some. This some top tier weird. I went through my one time.
Caller 1
No. Okay, then.
Co-host 2
So that's different.
Caller 1
What did you find?
Co-host 2
Huh? Some.
Caller 1
What did you find?
Co-host 2
But go ahead, what you find? So you went through his phone? And then what you find?
Caller 1
So this was back. This was back when. You know what I'm saying? I was young and Kick was out and all that. I ain't had no phone. I was trying to find a way to text all the hood. You know how it goes. So he fell asleep one night downstairs. I opened his phone. I went to download kick. As I'm texting the hood, a text come through from Rachel. Why was Rachel? I got aunt named Rachel, so I really wasn't questioning. Then she text again. And it was an image. So me being me, I click what I seen was the worst thing in My life. There were two jugglers, and they weren't regular jugglers. They were. They were saggy jugglers. So me being the person I am, I'm like, how can I leverage this? So do y' all want to know how I leveraged it?
Co-host 3
You're here.
Caller 1
I guess I kept quiet about it. So then as I'm going through the messages, I see pictures of my dad with said Rachel and kids. I'm dumbfounded. So as I grow up, you know what I'm saying, him and my mom get to get. They. They. They. They still together.
Co-host 3
They could just skate it past, like, 20 years.
Caller 1
I promise you. That's something I held, like, in the deep, because I just felt I was.
Co-host 2
A real quick, like, real quick. If I stop saying talking like this, like, tick tock, story time. Just go. Just go. We got you, bro. We understand.
Caller 1
Anyway, anyway, so I grew up, whatever the case was, and I asked him about it. And when I asked him about it, he told me the truth, or whatever the case is, because I was finally 18. So, boom, I asked him, did my mom know? No, she didn't. I was like, my dad got a little money. He owner of a tech company. Oh, yeah, from paper. Get a little money. So I held it for ransom, basically, the information.
Co-host 2
And you still do?
Caller 1
Oh, yeah, still to this day. I get paid monthly.
Co-host 2
How much?
Caller 1
A thousand.
Co-host 2
A thousand dollars? For your mom's loyalty? Man, these boys. Boy, these boys wasn't raised right.
Co-host 3
So are those your step siblings?
Caller 1
Oh, you crazy? She still. She knows, though. He doesn't know she knows.
Co-host 3
They also.
Co-host 2
They're not together.
Caller 1
Oh, no, they still together. They married when they finna get divorced. Oh, when they get divorced, all that money, you know, that's gonna go to. That's why you got to keep it peeing. Shut up.
Co-host 3
So was it. Was his second family just the. The woman involved, or was it the kids?
Caller 1
No, it was a woman, and she had a daughter. Okay, well, they had a daughter.
Co-host 2
So you don't have any siblings from this?
Caller 1
Not really. I don't. I don't know that.
Co-host 2
Just a thousand dollars a month in disloyalty. That's it, man.
Caller 1
How many. How many. How many minors you know, making a thousand a month?
Co-host 2
How old are you?
Caller 1
I'm 22 now. This was going on since I was 17.
Co-host 2
Oh, you was not a minor.
Co-host 3
All right, bro. You have a good one.
Co-host 2
Hey, it's Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile.
Co-host 4
Now, I was looking for fun ways.
Co-host 3
To tell you that Mint's offer of.
Co-host 2
Unlimited Premium Wireless for $15 a month is back. So I thought it would be fun.
Co-host 3
If we made $15 bills, but it.
Co-host 4
Turns out that's very illegal. So there goes my big idea for the commercial. Give it a try@mintmobile.com switch.
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Caller 1
Wait.
Co-host 2
I know that wasn't towards us.
Co-host 3
No way.
Caller 1
Y' all hear me?
Co-host 2
Yeah.
Co-host 3
Yes.
Caller 1
All right, what's going on, guys?
Co-host 3
What up, man?
Caller 1
Restart the conversation, please.
Co-host 2
Don't try to guess who's what. Yo, what.
Caller 1
Is that? Is that Pat?
Co-host 3
Oh, my God.
Co-host 2
What's up, bro?
Caller 1
What's going on, man?
Co-host 2
All right, I got a question for you, bro.
Caller 1
All right.
Co-host 2
Bet you can tell when people watch the show because they get mad and we're not giving them the conversation. It's just random. It's just like if we feel it, but we don't feel a good vibe here. So we're gonna go with the question.
Caller 1
You don't feel a good vibe?
Co-host 2
Nah, nah. You throwing me off. All right, I got a question for you. You.
Caller 1
What the. All right, what's the question, guys?
Co-host 2
What's your beef?
Caller 1
My uncle, bro. My uncle, man, this. He live in our basement. He don't pay rent. Should be throwing me off, man.
Co-host 2
Just like, is this crazy? Is this your mom or dad's brother? How old?
Caller 1
Yeah, it's broken, bro. It's my mom's stepbrother. This nigga's like 40.
Co-host 3
And you said, do you pay rent?
Caller 1
I pay rent, yes.
Co-host 2
How old are you?
Caller 1
I'm 21.
Co-host 2
Bunch of grown living in that house.
Co-host 3
Did he say why he's there?
Caller 1
Bro, he. So him and his wife had gotten into it. He went to jail, and. And he turned get back on his feet. And so he was standing here, but like.
Co-host 3
Yo, you ever try to tell him this to his face, though?
Caller 1
Nah, nah, he's scared.
Co-host 2
When he was talking, like, when he was talking to us, he was kind of loud, but when he was like, my uncle, he is a whisperer. Your vent must be right to his room. He didn't come upstairs and beat your ass?
Caller 1
No.
Co-host 3
Oh, you don't think he'll whoop you?
Co-host 2
Nah.
Caller 1
Actually. Actually, don't. Don't even put this on episode. Don't even put this on episode.
Co-host 2
N. It's too late, bro.
Co-host 3
It's too late, bro. You about to face your demons.
Co-host 2
No, face your demons.
Co-host 3
It's live. It's live, bro.
Co-host 2
No, he going to put a bar in a pillowcase and get the out talking that ain't got no job. I hear everybody.
Co-host 3
All right, man. You have a good one. Welcome to crash on his podcast.
Co-host 2
No, he changed his voice.
Co-host 3
Did I change my voice? Yeah. Really?
Co-host 1
A little bit. Yeah.
Co-host 2
Yeah, she even. It changed again when I called you out because you tried to go back, but your heart.
Co-host 3
But I just feel like I'm a little more mellow right now.
Co-host 2
Yeah, he disrespectful to the man on this podcast.
Co-host 3
Okay, I got a question for you.
Co-host 1
Okay.
Co-host 3
What was the question? What's something you know about someone that could ruin their life?
Co-host 1
My ex situationship having an entire family, but me not finding out about it until his new job posted that he had a family.
Co-host 2
Damn.
Co-host 3
Why does new job post that he have a family?
Co-host 1
We're teachers. And so his job posted about his whole family moving to where he's going to work.
Co-host 2
Oh, so he was teaching at your school and then he moved schools and then they announced, like, him and his family, like, welcome to the community type thing.
Co-host 1
Okay. Yes, Condo. So we worked at different schools in the same county, and so that's how we knew each other. And then. But he's also in the military, so he told me he was single, live by himself and everything, but then it turns out he's got a whole entire family.
Co-host 2
But.
Co-host 3
Okay, you said it was a situationship. Right. So do you think he. He owed you that information?
Co-host 2
I don't.
Co-host 3
I'm just saying situation.
Co-host 2
That was his situation. Yeah.
Co-host 1
I don't really think that makes it better though, because he lying to me and the other person.
Co-host 2
We're not saying it's good he's cheating still, like, we just saying, like, I guess our thing is to challenge you where you are at mentally, to like not know this was going on. Because you're saying it's a situationship. And then was it a situationship before you found out he had a family?
Co-host 1
Yes, of course.
Co-host 2
That's our point. You know what I'm saying? Like, usually situationship, somebody got something that's stopping it from being a relationship.
Co-host 3
Yeah. And there's. There's always some information that might be withheld. It just have to be a little more extreme.
Co-host 2
So, like, okay, how long did this go on? So we about to break on. We got you. How long this go on?
Co-host 1
On and off for like two years.
Co-host 2
Two years?
Caller 1
Yeah.
Co-host 1
And then on and off to this day, like, he'll Text me and be like, hey, want to hang out? And I'm like, no. And then I found out about his family. But we had talked, like, last week or two weeks ago.
Co-host 2
Girl, two years, you are family. No, the other question is. So you never been to his house when. When he said he was living alone?
Co-host 1
No. So we lived, like, 45, 50 minutes apart. So he would just drive to mine every time.
Co-host 2
And you never been to his house in two years?
Co-host 1
Nope. Every single time it was mine. And then I moved, like, two hours away, and he would still drive to.
Co-host 2
Mine like that, so.
Co-host 3
But it was a situationship still. It wasn't like they weren't.
Co-host 2
Don't matter. She never been to his house.
Co-host 3
Nobody lived.
Co-host 2
So you didn't call him out on one thing? That's probably, like, top five things he told her within the first couple years of couple days. And she didn't even challenge him on it. He said, I live alone. She said, okay, I believe you.
Co-host 1
He told me his mama kept the kids. He told me his mama kept the kids.
Co-host 2
But you. But he said, but you've never been to his house. And he said he lived alone. Don't you think it'd be like.
Co-host 1
That's what he said. That's what he said.
Co-host 3
So what stopped it from ever becoming, like, a relationship? Did you. Anybody in. Did you or him ever want more?
Co-host 1
I did for a little bit, but then I was like, no, I'm good.
Co-host 3
That's what I'm saying. As if it's a situationship. It doesn't like. I feel like he don't even, like, owe you that information.
Co-host 2
No, I can see him. I can imagine. I can imagine him right now. Like, damn. Damn, I miss her so much. I miss her so much. Hey, babe. The pizza done.
Co-host 1
Now? I didn't say all that now, y'.
Caller 1
All.
Co-host 1
The question was that. I answered, what is something that could ruin somebody's life, that could ruin his life?
Co-host 3
Oh, yeah, it could.
Co-host 1
Definitely. Let's go back to the question.
Co-host 3
Yeah, you're right. You're right. You right. We got off track. We got off track.
Co-host 2
No, you right over here judging you and for being naive, as we shouldn't even be doing that anyway, right?
Co-host 3
I guess you're not as naive.
Co-host 2
You're not. His family must look good. You must like the way they look together or something. You don't want to break that up.
Co-host 1
I mean, they're cute. They're cute. I mean, obviously. No, I just blocked him on everything. I saw them for the first time the other day, so I Thought they was cute.
Co-host 2
Oh, you saw them?
Co-host 1
I just. On the Facebook post. Yeah. That's a new job posted, so. Yeah.
Co-host 2
When is the last time he hit you up?
Co-host 4
Still lurking?
Co-host 1
Last week about last.
Caller 1
About a couple weeks ago.
Co-host 1
Yeah, but I didn't know then, but I was just like, nah. Because I lived far away now, so.
Co-host 2
So what if. What if he. What if he pop up outside your house with a boom box at. I'm ready to leave my family for real. I'm done.
Co-host 1
Oh, it's never that. Oh, my God, E. No. I would be like, no. Jail.
Co-host 2
Jail is crazy. Take that man away from his family.
Co-host 1
So nice. She's probably so sweet, and he's out here doing her bad.
Co-host 3
So what makes you not want to say anything about it? It's just. You don't feel like it's your business.
Co-host 1
It's not my business, and it ruined my life, too. My God. No, I'm good.
Co-host 2
Oh.
Co-host 3
Oh, I get it. I get you.
Caller 1
I get you.
Co-host 3
I get you. Get you.
Co-host 2
The teachers be looking at you crazy.
Co-host 3
Like, yeah, how do you not?
Co-host 2
He's just out here. Everybody husband.
Co-host 3
Yeah, you do too. You do not want to be known as the husband.
Co-host 2
I heard she a math teacher, but she'll do some geometry.
Co-host 3
All the teachers. All the. All the parents at PTO meeting is gonna be on your ass.
Co-host 1
That's why I just keep to myself and do my job.
Co-host 3
I feel it. I feel it.
Co-host 2
Yeah, she a history teacher, but did you hear about her history.
Co-host 1
I hope they don't listen to this podcast.
Co-host 2
Geography teacher, but I heard she get around.
Co-host 3
All right, you have a good one.
Co-host 2
That hating on my jokes is crazy. Yo, yo, what's good?
Caller 1
What's up, Pat? How you doing?
Co-host 2
That's weird. I didn't want people to do that. They know the voices right away.
Co-host 3
It's not weird, bro.
Caller 1
I listen. All right, all right. What it called.
Co-host 2
Yeah, you don't glaze. All right, I got a question for you.
Caller 1
What's the question?
Co-host 2
What's your beef? I like how you tighten up. What's the question? What's your beef, bro?
Caller 1
It's with this one girl that I went on a date with. All right, so this was, what, I think, a month ago, but so she came up to me at a mall and asked for my number. So I was like, all right. Gave her. Gave it to her. Then a couple days later, we went on the date, got some food and stuff. We went back to her place and, you know, started making out, getting a little freaky, and she was like, Let me give you head. Then she started giving me head. I was laying down flat on the bed, bro. Something. I felt something near my cheeks. I thought it was like a crease in the bed or something. Tell me why this stuck her finger on my ass. That's my beef, bro. I got beef with her because she did that. First date warning. No, nothing.
Co-host 2
How did you not feel her hanging closer to that area?
Caller 1
I did, but I didn't think that she was going to do that.
Co-host 3
It just felt good around the room.
Caller 1
No, it wasn't like that.
Co-host 2
That's what happened. She was playing with it, you know, she go up it.
Co-host 3
So what happened after she did it, though? That. That you, like, say, ah, don't do that.
Caller 1
No, I screamed. I jumped up.
Co-host 3
You scream. She probably thought you were enjoying it then.
Caller 1
No.
Co-host 2
Wait, was you in the passenger seat? Was it in the car?
Caller 1
No, it was on her bed.
Co-host 2
It was on her bed? Yeah. Did you see her after that?
Caller 1
Did I see. No. I live. So you walked through and everything.
Co-host 2
You've never seen her again?
Caller 1
Nope. I'm not gonna focus that.
Co-host 2
Oh, yeah, you trying to using this podcast to reach out to her. She got your heart, bro.
Co-host 3
What's your. What's your message to her brother?
Caller 1
Stay away from guys. They're not gonna like that.
Co-host 3
There are some dudes that like that, though.
Caller 1
Hey, if they're into that, then they're into that. But I'm not like, you gotta give me a warning or something.
Co-host 3
I mean, she did give you a warning when she was like. When you felt it around the rim. That was like the warning. And you didn't do it. And you didn't do anything at that point.
Co-host 2
When she slaps your ass and caused you a good boy. That should have been your warning right there.
Caller 1
No, you gotta stop getting freaky, bro. It wasn't like that.
Co-host 3
Yeah, all right, bro. You have a good one.
Caller 1
Hey, last time I was on this podcast, bro, we had some beef, bro. You. You call me ambitious. Ambitiousness.
Co-host 3
Ambitious list sounds so crazy, but.
Co-host 2
You want to know? It's crazy. That's bad on me because I don't have no idea who you. You are whatsoever. So that's bad on me that I'm saying that to that many people. What do you do for a living? Why did I say that?
Caller 1
Nothing. It's because I'm single, because I'm young. I'm still in school.
Co-host 2
Oh, what are you doing in school? Maybe I asked you something that triggers that. It had to be.
Caller 1
No, because you. You asked me if I Had a job and I said I didn't.
Co-host 2
You were in college?
Caller 1
No, high school.
Co-host 2
How old are you?
Caller 1
High school.
Co-host 3
Ambitious.
Co-host 2
Wait, how old are you?
Caller 1
16, bro.
Co-host 2
I just be talking, bro. That's on me, bro. That's on me.
Caller 1
All right.
Co-host 2
No, no, don't cuss, don't cuss. What? Like, what do you want to be when you grow up?
Caller 1
Me? I'm really big into cars.
Co-host 2
Cars.
Caller 1
So, like, okay, yeah. Mechanics, driver.
Co-host 2
Yeah, I don't know what I was saying. Like, it sound like you got your together, bro. You got a girlfriend, a car, all that, huh?
Caller 1
Nope.
Co-host 2
No girlfriend. Trust my intuition. You're a loser.
Co-host 3
All right, bro, you have a going, right? Oh, my God.
Co-host 2
It was something, man.
Caller 1
Yo, what's up?
Co-host 2
What's the deal? I got two questions for you, bro. We. We having bad calls right now, so we're not even gonna get to know you.
Caller 1
All right, bet, Bet.
Co-host 2
All right. Name something you got away with.
Caller 1
All right. I faked a seizure back in high school for a grade.
Co-host 2
For grade. How.
Co-host 3
How did that happen?
Co-host 2
What you do?
Caller 1
All right, so for my high school, we only had like, summer school, and you can only take up to like two classes. And this is during the springtime. Already failed like calculus back in the fall.
Co-host 2
Okay, perfect. All right, I can see where I'm going. Okay, next question. Who or what needs more shame?
Caller 1
Kyle Lowry. He. He just needs more shame. He's a half basketball player. Bubble butt. Never seen a take a stream during NBA all star game.
Co-host 3
Kyr is a good basketball player.
Co-host 2
No, Kyler is a legend, bro. But why? Why? Why number two? What does that have to do.
Caller 1
I'm a demar derozan person. When they traded him for Kyle Lowry and they kept Kyle.
Co-host 2
We're questioning you not on being a basketball fan. We're questioning on point. Why does him having a. So called a bubble butt. Why is that a part of this?
Caller 1
Something I just noticed every time you play basketball, and it makes. Every time, every time. Every time he gets on the car, I go, damn.
Co-host 2
So you would do that? Kyle Lowry's not the only man that's built like that. You know what I mean? So, like, do you do that every time you see a guy?
Caller 1
Oh, no.
Co-host 2
But why only Kyle Lowry? Hello?
Caller 1
Hello? No, I say you. I say he was like the first person I ever noticed it on.
Co-host 3
Okay, all right. Said bubble butt. And said it quickly, too. Like he skipped over it.
Co-host 1
No, I'm not done. I'm answering the call.
Caller 1
Hello.
Co-host 3
Yo, then who's. Who you are.
Co-host 1
Hi, guys.
Co-host 2
Hi, guys. Who you are.
Co-host 1
I'm not arguing with anyone. I'm getting my hair done. But I just left my appointment so I can talk to you guys.
Co-host 2
Oh.
Co-host 3
Oh, damn.
Caller 1
I know.
Co-host 2
Your look terrible right now.
Co-host 1
No, it doesn't.
Caller 1
I'm almost done.
Co-host 1
I'm, like, 70. I'm, like, 80% done.
Co-host 3
Okay.
Co-host 2
Okay.
Co-host 3
All right. We got a question for you.
Co-host 2
Oh, it's me. Okay, my bad.
Co-host 3
I always do, like, stuff like that. Like the camera.
Co-host 2
Name something you got away with.
Co-host 1
So one time I ran someone over, and my mom took the charge. So technically, her insurance took the hit. And my family had to pay, like, $60,000 out. But I didn't have to. My parents did.
Co-host 3
Well, how you say, like, this is something. You got away, like, scotch free.
Co-host 1
I did. I didn't have to pay for it. I didn't go to jail. My mom took the charge.
Co-host 2
What? What?
Co-host 1
She said she was a driver.
Co-host 3
How bad was, like, did you run that person over?
Co-host 1
It was pretty bad. His eye socket was fractured. He had to get, like, reconstructed surgery on his arm, his elbow, to be exact.
Co-host 2
Where, like, where were you driving that you ran this person over? And they got all these injuries.
Co-host 1
I was driving the Dodge Durango. It was, like, maybe four years ago, and I had a kid, so my mom was like, she was going to take the charges. I did it intentionally.
Co-host 3
But, like, we're like, where? Like, was it at a red light, him crossing? Like, where was it at?
Co-host 1
So we live in Vegas, but we live in, like, the Centennial Hills area. And it's super racist over there. This guy called me the N word. He was on, like, a. Like, a motorbike, kind of like a dirt bike, but the ones that people drive on the street, but it looks like a dirt bike. And he threw a Slurpee through my car window, and I mowed him down.
Co-host 2
No, this is.
Co-host 3
I didn't even know. It was, like, retaliation. I thought it, like, an accident.
Co-host 1
Yeah, it was an accident. That's where I called the insurance. It was an accident.
Co-host 3
I feel it.
Co-host 2
Did he accuse you? Did he accuse you of running him over? So. Or did he.
Co-host 1
So he. He was out of it. He didn't really remember or know what happened. But there was this guy that was like, he seen it. He was walking.
Co-host 2
I.
Co-host 1
Like another pedestrian. I wish I would have got him, too, because he came, and when the cops came, he waited. He was like, he did it on purpose. I watched it. I still see him sometimes when I go visit my parents.
Co-host 3
Knock the racist out. That crazy probably woke up an ally.
Co-host 2
That Boy threw a MAGA Slurpee at you. Ran his ass over.
Co-host 1
I have. Like, my baby was in the car. So that's really why I was upset. Cuz, like, you can't disrespect me in front of my baby. And you're a man and a white man.
Co-host 2
No, the baby part makes you seem dumb. I'm not gonna lie to you. You don't do that with a kid in the car, though. That's crazy.
Co-host 3
I mean, she threw. He threw a Slurpee in the car.
Co-host 1
He threw a Slurpee.
Co-host 2
Did it land on you too?
Co-host 1
It was all over me.
Co-host 2
Oh, yeah. I would have reversed over that too.
Co-host 3
I put the seat belt right on my kid. Buckle up, son.
Co-host 2
Buckle up, son. Let me teach you about revenge.
Co-host 3
Anyway, you have a good one. Go get your hair done.
Co-host 2
Let's go visit him in the hospital.
Co-host 1
Yeah. I haven't seen the victim, but I've seen the person who, like, told what I did. I see him a lot, and I only have. Thank you, baby.
Co-host 3
Okay. No, she. Somebody said, I like your hair in the background.
Co-host 2
Okay, who said that?
Co-host 1
That was my kid. Yeah, that was my daughter. After Pat said that, my hair looks up.
Co-host 3
Oh, that was your daughter?
Co-host 2
Was that the daughter that's in the car?
Co-host 1
Yeah, that's her.
Co-host 2
She stayed by your side?
Co-host 3
All right, you have a good one.
Co-host 1
All right, bye.
Co-host 3
All right, peace.
Co-host 2
Yo, what's the deal?
Caller 1
What's going on?
Co-host 2
What's up? What up? What up? What up? Welcome to Crashing Me's podcast.
Caller 1
All right. Yeah, that's the question.
Co-host 2
We got you, bro. All right. What or who deserves more shame?
Caller 1
Men. It's men that deserve shame. I'll let you know. It's the men that sit there and can pull out their cars and buy only fans. They're sick, freaky men. You're more freaky than did. You should be locked up for buying the only fans.
Co-host 3
You think it's that egregious?
Caller 1
You know the steps you have to do to buy only fans?
Co-host 2
No, tell us.
Caller 1
You. You have to start. You've probably seen the girl on Instagram. It's. Realistically, you. You thought she looked good. You probably went through a couple pictures. Look, went to look the link tree. Looked all the. You looked at her cash app, her Venmo, all that. You said no. Cool. I'm gonna go to the only fans. Click. The only fans. You probably go look at the previews. Oh, wow, that's nice. All this while you're meeting. All this while your meat is in your hand. That's insane. You got to think about that all that while your meat is in your hand.
Co-host 3
How'd you know they had previews? I never heard of them having previews.
Caller 1
Because, you know, you know these, you know, the only fans, they like to. They like to tease a little bit.
Co-host 3
How do you know this, though? Like, did you get to like that step? Did you get that one step before pulling out your wallet?
Caller 1
You know what? Who is this? Yo, who is this?
Co-host 3
Are you talking to me?
Caller 1
Yeah.
Co-host 3
Can you actually.
Caller 2
Who I am?
Caller 1
Is this that? Is this Mike?
Co-host 3
Duh.
Caller 1
You sound a little different. Oh, like a folded song? Like a little something in your throat.
Co-host 3
Crazy. How do you know any of this? The preview thing though? Cuz you're listing everything. Like you went through these steps and the only step you might have not went to allegedly is making the purchase.
Caller 1
But like, that's not the point. It's. The point is the steps that you have to get to. You have to pull out your card and do all of that.
Co-host 2
It's like, that's what happened.
Caller 1
I'm spending my money on the right things. You not. I'm not gonna give my money to no girls. That's. That's out here naked. I'm not doing that.
Co-host 2
So if it was free. If it was free, would you have.
Caller 1
Viewed somebody link if it was free? What time is it?
Co-host 3
You already got. You would do it for free? You already got to the point of knowing that there was a preview.
Co-host 2
Exactly. You just got the money, bro. Just say you don't want to spend money on it.
Caller 1
Who isn't doing it for free?
Co-host 2
But I'm just saying. Just say you don't want to spend money on it. You just don't have the money. Don't try to disrespect them.
Caller 1
You know, that's not disrespecting. You just. That's weird. Weird like you're pulling out your card while your meat is in your hand.
Co-host 3
What I do think is weird is.
Co-host 2
Like, what's up this meat? You just let it go, bro.
Co-host 3
Well, I do. I do think it's weird when people create accounts for the free, like porn sites and like that.
Caller 1
Exactly.
Co-host 3
That's. That's more that. Yeah, that's awesome.
Co-host 2
Like, yeah, only fans about the concept of them actually paying for it. You're just mad that it costs because you. If you it for free.
Caller 1
We. We're all viewing it for free.
Co-host 2
No, you're. You're viewing. You're clicking on those. I don't click on only family, so.
Caller 1
I don't give a. I'm not clicking on the. I'm not. I used to click on.
Co-host 2
Yeah, exactly. Until you found out.
Caller 1
Until I realized like, why am I here?
Co-host 2
No, you're.
Co-host 3
They're going to have pre nut clarity.
Caller 1
I had pre nut clarity.
Co-host 2
Exactly.
Caller 1
Why am I here?
Co-host 2
Have pre money clarity. You're broke because you're getting a lot.
Caller 1
I make. I make Matt. I make so much money.
Co-host 2
Not enough money to see her.
Co-host 3
I wouldn't say that constitute you as broke. But you do think that there's. You just think it's not worth that money.
Caller 1
Yeah, there's other things. You can spend your money like the snack rack.
Co-host 3
But there is a point there. There is a point where if you are a millionaire, come out.
Co-host 2
Shut the.
Co-host 3
Just say if you're a millionaire. A couple million.
Caller 1
Gene who? Jean.
Co-host 3
This is why he's like first title.
Co-host 2
I think he's schizophrenic or some.
Co-host 3
Just call this a gene. It's a. All right, bro. You have a good one.
Caller 1
You too.
Co-host 2
Broke ass.
Caller 1
Hey, man. Yo, yo.
Co-host 3
What up, what up?
Caller 1
What up, what up?
Co-host 3
Welcome to Crash Podcast.
Caller 1
Hey, what's up? What's up? Yeah, glad to be on this bitch.
Co-host 2
Are you like. Are you under the influence or something right now? Are you talking so well, yo stuff so slur.
Co-host 3
Anyway, I got a question for you. If you can get any. If you can get any question answered, what would it be?
Caller 1
You don't see my answer, man, I got. Why am I serial cheater, man.
Co-host 2
Nice.
Co-host 3
Is that your real life? You high?
Caller 1
I'm high. Real quick. I'm not gonna answer the phone.
Co-host 2
Where are you right now?
Caller 1
Oh, man, I'm outside my crib, man.
Co-host 2
Oh, okay. You good? You had some beers or something? Some alcohol?
Caller 1
I mean, I'm with a white girl, so, you know, I gotta drink that pee with me, man.
Co-host 3
You gotta keep that what with him?
Co-host 2
Listen, I don't know, all right?
Co-host 3
I just.
Co-host 2
Going on.
Co-host 3
So you're in a relationship now.
Caller 1
Yeah.
Co-host 3
And you. You're saying you're a serial cheater.
Caller 1
I'm gonna pull you a fair real quick, man. I know she don't hear this. She might recognize the voices on you feel me?
Co-host 3
Yeah.
Co-host 2
Or that laugh.
Caller 1
Nah. Yeah, I am a little. Little. I guess you could say I'm a little. You know what I'm saying? A little player. Don't hate the game. Hate the player, right?
Co-host 2
No, that's not how it goes.
Caller 1
Hey, you can't hit the game. You gotta hit the player, though, you know what I'm saying? That's just.
Co-host 1
That's the way life.
Caller 1
Some people. Players, some people ain't, you know.
Co-host 2
Yeah, what's. What's that?
Co-host 3
Like what do you do for a living?
Co-host 2
Yeah.
Caller 1
I'm a trained technician. Man, that's somewhat, you know, spell technician. No, no, trained technician. I mean.
Co-host 3
This is goofy.
Co-host 1
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Caller 1
Yeah, I'm a trained technician and you know, a little, little player technician too, you know.
Co-host 3
So have you cheated with the girl you're currently with?
Caller 1
Yeah.
Co-host 3
Why you still with her though?
Caller 1
You know, man, what the.
Co-host 3
I'm asking a question. Why do you.
Co-host 2
Why he's getting offended that you putting him in deep thought?
Co-host 3
Like what? Like why do you think you're cheating? Like what do you. What is. Like what. What's your triggers?
Caller 1
I guess I don't know man. I just. I can't explain it to you.
Co-host 3
Really.
Caller 1
You know the best way to say is like. It's like, yo, you like money, right?
Co-host 3
Yeah.
Caller 1
All right, bro. So if I. If you got like, let's just say you got 50k and I offer you a dollar. You ain't gonna take that dollar.
Co-host 3
Hey bro, that's. Nah, facts, bro, facts, facts.
Caller 1
I got. I got one woman. So if God gives me another one, she's gonna be like, yeah, no, we got the analogy. Anyway, I hope you got make a feel better out here.
Co-host 3
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You black?
Caller 1
N. I'm mixed.
Co-host 2
Mixed with what?
Caller 1
I ain't going to lie. I'm Mexican and a little black, you know what I'm saying? Daddy ain't around, so you know he be on black.
Co-host 2
No, your daddy black.
Caller 1
Yeah.
Co-host 2
Okay, okay, just cuz you there's Dominicans don't mean they any who.
Caller 1
I hate being called Dominican though, fam. But I'm being real with you, bro. Course you Dominican.
Co-host 2
Yeah, I didn't call you Dominican any.
Co-host 3
All right, you have a good.
Caller 1
I'm cancel for the night, huh?
Co-host 2
No, you're not C. I think you cancel for life.
Caller 1
My wet.
Co-host 2
No, you literally be wasting a doctor or therapist, whatever it takes to fix you. You wasting your time.
Co-host 3
My God.
Caller 1
I be the doctor and the patient.
Co-host 3
You lost cause bro.
Co-host 2
Tell this dude only could think about what happens five minutes in the future and five minutes in the past and that's it. He got a 10 minute gap. Everything else is like no consequences.
Caller 1
He just goes, hey man, you know I'm only. I'm only here for the little ones, man. I'm saying I gotta make the best out of it.
Co-host 3
Stop cheating, bro.
Caller 1
All right, I Can't.
Co-host 3
Hey, that's me.
Caller 1
If I'm making money, then. If I'm making money, then.
Co-host 3
It'S not the same. We are lying. We agree with you, bro.
Caller 1
Come on, man. If he was in my position.
Co-host 3
Why. Why get into a relationship then? Why don't you just do you without being, like, in a relationship?
Caller 1
Because I don't want her to get away.
Co-host 2
Oh. I think you insecure about who you are, so you. You cheat to make yourself feel better. We got it now.
Caller 1
Nah, just low key. I just, like, be real with you.
Co-host 3
Why just. Why don't you just have consistent sex with the person you're with?
Caller 1
I do, but look, I like different flavor. I'm not racist, man. I like all I like when people say, what do I like? I like.
Co-host 3
All right, all right. That's enough brain rock for today. Yeah.
Co-host 2
He keep going. He level up.
Co-host 3
That was real. That was like real life. Like brain rock.
Co-host 2
Like he's definition of brain. Yeah, he was created through Minecraft.
Co-host 4
Only a few brain cells left.
Co-host 3
For real.
Co-host 2
Okay, so I'm looking for yeses or no's around. Maybe a brief explanation if I challenge you on it. But I'm trying to move through these quickly, everybody, just to let you know. So not a debate for everyone. Okay. $50 million, but no sex for life.
Co-host 3
We'll go.
Co-host 2
We'll do Mike last every time. Loki, no. So you wouldn't take the 50 million?
Caller 2
No.
Co-host 2
Don't even need to ask. I already know what you're gonna get into. It might lead to something else.
Co-host 4
It's a hard one for me.
Caller 1
I don't know.
Co-host 2
Really? You're so fake, bro. You're gassing.
Co-host 4
I guess I would take the 50.
Co-host 2
Million, but do you no sex?
Co-host 4
Like, define. Like, what are the limits? You know, that's like, do you die.
Caller 2
If you have sex, or do you just lose the money? Like if I. I already spent one. If. If I already spent 1 million.
Co-host 2
Just honor code. No, we not doing that with this. What?
Co-host 4
You no kind of sex.
Caller 2
Oh, just the honor code.
Co-host 2
Yeah. Just no sex.
Caller 2
Oh, I'll take the 50. What the. Y' all ain't gonna tell me? How you gonna know I had sex?
Co-host 2
No, no, no. We not doing that. Just no sex. You gotta honor. Yes. You die if you have sex.
Caller 2
Oh, no, I ain't.
Co-host 3
I.
Co-host 2
You explode. Actually, your testicles explode.
Co-host 3
Every word. Good. So my question is then. Oh, no. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You said sex, right? Can you still masturbate?
Caller 1
It.
Co-host 2
No, you can't.
Co-host 3
Nut so you can't. Okay, so no orgasms.
Co-host 4
You can't nut it would kill you.
Caller 2
What he said, your nuts exploding.
Co-host 3
That's got a dope way to go out, though.
Co-host 2
You worth 50 mil, I'll tell you that.
Co-host 3
I wouldn't take the 50 mil. I wouldn't take the 50mil.
Co-host 2
You wouldn't take it? No. I wouldn't either. I wouldn't take the 50 mil.
Caller 2
So what? Why you just try to debate with us like. Like you was from the question.
Co-host 2
This what people do on game shows? He trying to.
Co-host 4
Yeah, he trying to.
Co-host 2
I'm going bust. All right, all right. $100 million. But you have no legs.
Caller 2
No.
Co-host 2
So you turning down my jean.
Co-host 4
How my legs.
Co-host 2
Damn. He looked at his legs. How far down? Like, how we talking leg? That is true. We talking about, man. I'm sorry. Ass down. Only your ass. Your ass hit the floor every time.
Co-host 4
Now I got some dark thoughts about any kind of amputations on myself. So I would have to turn it to keep my legs here.
Co-host 2
Turn it down. You're so annoying, bro. You're annoying.
Co-host 3
Why am I annoying? Yeah.
Co-host 2
So much time to think, pondering over it.
Co-host 3
It's just annoying because then I had like, no, I wouldn't do it.
Caller 2
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Can I buy robotic legs?
Co-host 2
Next question. You lost already.
Caller 2
Oh, my God.
Co-host 2
$200 million. But you're deaf.
Caller 2
I do that.
Co-host 2
Okay. He don't be hearing anyway.
Caller 2
Oh, yeah.
Co-host 2
I definitely don't hear none.
Co-host 4
I think that one I could probably go for death.
Co-host 2
Yeah.
Co-host 4
Because I could.
Co-host 2
Yeah, you rock with sign language.
Co-host 3
Yeah, me too.
Co-host 2
I think I can rock with sign. 200 mil.
Co-host 3
Yeah.
Co-host 2
I might not hear the engine, but I feel this moment. A deaf dj?
Caller 2
No, that's crazy.
Co-host 2
Hey, just tell. Is a DJ cooking right now?
Co-host 4
Just feeling the vibe.
Co-host 2
Just tell me. Give me your.
Co-host 3
I'm watching you.
Co-host 4
I'm watching you.
Co-host 3
I think it'd be dope to kind of like read resubtitles the whole time.
Co-host 2
Yeah, right.
Co-host 3
And I think I would use that money to then, like, oh, no, I can't hear. I was going to give you guys different voices, but now it's fine.
Caller 1
Stupid.
Co-host 2
All right. $300 million. But you're blind.
Co-host 3
300 mil. But blind.
Caller 2
I can have a seeing dog.
Co-host 2
Yeah, you can do whatever you want.
Caller 2
So I can have. I can do whatever I want?
Co-host 2
Yes, but you can't see.
Caller 2
You ever seen Daredevil before?
Co-host 2
You can do what you want.
Caller 2
You've seen Daredevil before. You know how you can see Everything. Echolocation status. Like, he can see everything.
Co-host 3
Sure.
Caller 2
Like if you say sure, your whole body will just make a shape.
Co-host 3
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Caller 2
So as long as I can pay for that type of procedure, I do it.
Co-host 2
It.
Co-host 3
I don't know if that was a procedure that he got, but I mean, but people can't. I'm saying realistically, if you had three. If you had 300 million, what you realistically can get in this real world. You're blind. Blind. You're blind. Blind. You're doing. You said daredevil. You said daredevil.
Caller 2
Don't mean it ain't true.
Co-host 4
It's sonar. It's sonar is what it is.
Caller 2
Yeah, sonar.
Co-host 2
But how can you put sonar on a human?
Caller 2
Bats have sonar. So we could probably have.
Co-host 2
Thank you. Thank you, buddy.
Co-host 3
I got you.
Co-host 4
I feel you.
Co-host 3
Okay.
Co-host 4
I think I got too many trust issues to be blind. If I had that much money and I was blind, I don't like.
Co-host 3
I don't know.
Co-host 2
Be stealing your money. Damn.
Co-host 3
Yeah.
Co-host 2
You got $3?
Co-host 3
Hey, bro, you tell. You send to the story, don't come back with no change.
Co-host 2
Yeah, bro. Here go your snacks, bro. It had change for a million, so I kept it.
Co-host 3
And I was. I wouldn't do blind.
Co-host 2
I wouldn't do blind either. I'm good. I look, I think me seeing things is like the best part of my life. Like me, I was. I went to the beach today and looked at the water like that's the greatest thing ever. Imagine hearing waves and not seeing them.
Co-host 4
There's more questions, huh?
Co-host 2
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We gotta. We got a while. We got a while. Okay. $400 million. Yeah, it keeps going up. $400 million. But you only live until you're 65.
Co-host 3
Hell yeah.
Caller 2
I'm probably. Hell yeah.
Co-host 3
65.
Caller 2
Oh, yeah. You know how much you can accomplish by 65?
Co-host 4
Super purposeful in my life.
Co-host 2
I gotta take it. I gotta take it because I'm using that money to. Because I feel like I'm. I'm sorry, Key, but I'm going the superhero route. I gotta put my conscience in a robot at that point.
Caller 2
I think you can't do that, bro.
Co-host 2
Getting sonar this to get soar, bro.
Caller 2
You said real world, real time. You can't put your consciousness that we know of inside of a AI.
Co-host 2
I don't know.
Caller 2
That's yes or no.
Co-host 2
I don't know if that's true or not.
Caller 2
Okay, so how the do you know we can't get sonar in? You hypocrite.
Co-host 2
Sonar is crazy.
Caller 2
No what you doing?
Co-host 4
I. I live to 65.
Co-host 2
You take the money?
Co-host 4
Yeah, I take the money.
Caller 2
400 million.
Co-host 2
That's Mike. Think he gonna live forever. So yeah.
Co-host 3
65 is. Is tough.
Co-host 2
They gonna be a 96 year old dick.
Co-host 3
So. Okay, so if I don't, if I choose don't not to take the money, do I get a guarantee to live over 65? That's. That'll be the only other option.
Co-host 2
Bargaining with a genie sound like. Sound like they about to die to me. The genie gonna be like what the is you talking about?
Co-host 3
This is gonna be a smart ass. You got next till next year.
Co-host 2
Next question. 65 seconds. Okay. 500 million. But you have no arms or legs.
Caller 2
No.
Co-host 3
Yeah. No, no, no.
Co-host 2
Starfish.
Co-host 3
That's horrible sounding. No, no. Chicken nuggets.
Co-host 2
That's a nugget. Yeah, I'm doing it. And I'm entering the cartwheel contest. Just don't stop.
Co-host 3
Oh man.
Co-host 2
Man, for real. All right, 600 million. But you must kill an innocent person.
Caller 2
Hell yeah. You mean is you talking about 600 million? Y' all better say yeah if you lying. You're online on camera.
Co-host 2
Get. Go ahead. This key word for the fast. He said it and then miss it. Y' all better not say different cuz.
Caller 2
It'S so realistic, bro.
Co-host 3
I would, I would if I hear.
Caller 2
This tape, cuz how do you know they innocent though?
Co-host 3
So like what it says? We're saying innocent.
Caller 2
But what's the scale? Are we talking about. Are we talking about a newborn baby or are we talking about like a.
Co-host 3
Just walking down the street a newborn baby.
Caller 2
Oh well, you don't know how long the baby going to live anyway.
Co-host 2
Some squid game. How you know that's a bad question? All right, 700 million. But you're blind and deaf. I already turned down blind.
Caller 2
Yeah, I'm turning that down.
Co-host 2
That's up 800 million. But you have to give it all to charities. I don't know if I could touch that much money and let you go.
Caller 1
Now.
Co-host 2
I'm going to have to. Hey, you got the 800 million you donated? Why I got to do it?
Co-host 3
I would. I would do it.
Co-host 2
Yeah, shut up. Shut the up. He really would do. I would do it too.
Co-host 3
I would do it now.
Caller 2
You would do it? Cuz he do it. Shut the up.
Co-host 2
Singing a podcast, bro. I can't make jokes. Come podcast.
Co-host 3
No, all that man, I would do because I just. There's no like there's. There's no real negative of it, I guess.
Co-host 2
Yes, Exactly. Nothing happens. 800 million that's when they gonna see every kid in every third world country eating steaks on me.
Co-host 3
But best believe I will get the credit. There's going to be a country named after me in Africa.
Co-host 2
You're gonna get statues everywhere.
Co-host 3
I'm just. I'm gonna make that 800 mil. I'm gonna win something. Nobel Pea prize. I make celebrity appearances and like how I saved the world.
Co-host 2
And my boys and girls Club gonna have five stars on it. Hottest Boys and Girls Club got 10 five star recruits. It's charity, man.
Co-host 4
You gonna see a new nonprofit.
Co-host 2
This is a nonprofit. Welcome to my nonprofit mansion. Hey, twice a month I let one kid come in here, use the bathroom and kick them right out. These kids, man. Getting them off the street one month at a time. 900 million. But you served 20 years in prison. No, I'm gonna have to say no.
Co-host 4
20 is crazy.
Co-host 2
20 is.
Caller 2
Wait, hold on, hold on. Just wait a minute.
Co-host 2
You're young gun though. No, no, no.
Caller 2
It ain't about aids. It ain't about aids.
Co-host 4
Trying to buy the prison.
Co-host 2
Look, look, look.
Caller 2
Yeah, you see how so it's this dude on Tick tock don't get the.
Co-host 3
Money until you're done with your sentence.
Caller 2
How you gonna say something?
Co-host 3
I'm just saying I know where you're going already.
Co-host 2
We're trying to avoid that scenario. So go ahead.
Co-host 3
I just want to let give you a preface before you go into your thing.
Caller 2
No, I wouldn't do it.
Co-host 2
Okay.
Co-host 3
You see how we just saved you?
Co-host 2
Yeah. We saved you 1 billion. But four family members are picked randomly to die in, silly. I'm g. Have to turn that down. Turn it down. The camera off. I'mma have to take that key.
Co-host 3
Thinking with his brother in the room is crazy.
Co-host 2
Come on, come on, ke, don't take it.
Caller 2
No, I'm not doing that.
Co-host 2
No, no, that's good. Okay.
Co-host 3
But I will say they said that you can pick.
Co-host 2
Oh man.
Co-host 3
This is what, this is what would happen. I would announce to all my family members like a big like Seobu family announcement. Like, hey, I'm not saying I'm taking this, but if anybody want to volunteer, I'm just saying though, anybody for the greater, for the greater good of the.
Caller 2
Family should come forward.
Co-host 2
You know, you, you got three old ones, you got three, you got three elders just come forward. They all like in their 80s and 90s. You like perfect. And then it's that one 65 year old uncle contemplating it. Come on, come on. Bring your ass over here.
Co-host 3
Come on with that.
Co-host 2
I'm still young. All the elders, bro.
Co-host 3
Make them play a game of knockout for it.
Co-host 2
Y' all both 65, bro.
Co-host 3
But I ain't know what to do.
Co-host 2
So we just go ahead. All right. Tweet of the week. Okay. Some dude tweeted, men delete one forever. Basketball, sex, music, women, money, water, weed. A dude tweeted back and said we should delete women. Fucking simps. Some dude said, no women. But you kept sex.
Caller 2
That's crazy.
Co-host 2
Oh, man. All right, okay. Tweet of the week. Some dude said, I see why my dad was an alcoholic. I forgive you. There are times, like, bro, there's times, like, where I used to be mad at my dad. It's like, bro, why you. Why you got a drink tonight? But my.
Co-host 3
I think, too, in general, there's some things that your parents, you know, the whole adage of, you won't understand this until you. You're my age type of thing, or you get older type of thing. You'll understand more when I get older and my parents are divorced. And you. Now I can see why they're divorced. You know, back then, it's like, oh, why? I don't want to just stick it out and stay together. Now you actually, like.
Co-host 2
Honestly, I was like, I hit an age at like. Like, six or seven. I would have died if my parents got back together. I would have hated that. Like, both y' all in the same room. I can't do it, bro.
Co-host 4
My parents try to get back together. They divorced when I was seven. Try to get back together when I was 22.
Co-host 2
No way.
Caller 2
That's insane.
Co-host 3
That got to be kind of awkward, right?
Co-host 2
That's why you got so awkward. You got to do the Parent Trap on their ass. Get rid of that. All right. Tweet of the week. The kids say, hey, tell a bedtime story. Me, Rico got no money. He didn't Lost his job. You know what that's from?
Co-host 3
No.
Co-host 2
Y' all remember the Rico? Yeah. You remember Rico story from Speaker Knockers?
Co-host 3
No.
Co-host 2
Rico got no money. He didn't. Lost his job. Damn.
Caller 2
You heard it before.
Co-host 2
Yeah, but I was just saying, like, when we were younger, those stories used to get us. Meek Mill had that Tony story. I don't know if you remember that. And he. I don't know why. Where that went. I think Joy and Lucre started doing it. You remember.
Co-host 4
You remember the Joker?
Co-host 2
The Joker? Oh, yeah. The Joker is Joker. The Autumn boy thought they was Slick Rick. All right, last one, last one, last one.
Co-host 3
I got a couple, too.
Co-host 2
Oh, you do?
Co-host 3
Go ahead. Yeah, I was gonna go.
Co-host 2
I'm. I'm gonna save mine because the last one is from my boy D. Hutch, and he. He always in the best of the week.
Co-host 3
Okay, so is this. I feel like Facebook is always weirder, but how I first night, and you ain't nobody in months. Stop lying hoe.
Caller 2
Why you. Why you just say that?
Co-host 2
I just really. I just want to see the difference. I want to read it. I want to read it. Let me see how I would write this. Some dude said how on the first night, you ain't nobody in my. Stop lying ho. Say it like that.
Co-host 3
I knew that was gonna be funny. That one was. That wasn't really supposed to be tweeted week, but this is the one I want to use. Using a condom and still pulling out. Call that two factor authentic. Using the condom and pulling out. Call that two factor authentication.
Co-host 2
There's nothing more pointless than that. I tell you.
Co-host 3
No, I'm not gonna lie. I was that person.
Co-host 2
Oh, wow.
Caller 1
No.
Co-host 2
When I was young. Yeah, bro.
Co-host 3
Because it said, you know what it says 99.9. And I just always, always felt like bad luck. Things can happen to me. And I was like, all right, I'm not gonna. Now it's 100.
Co-host 2
I was so bad. I didn't finish until I got home. You might get pregnant by the aroma.
Co-host 3
What was your last one?
Co-host 2
Last one. Everybody plugged their ears as younger. This from D. Hutch. This is fault. Okay. Pulling on her pubes really hard to tighten her like shoelaces. Come on.
Caller 1
Come on.
Co-host 2
Pulling on her pubes really hard to tighten her pussy like shoelaces. That's crazy. Okay. All right.
Co-host 3
Those are the thick ass shoes. You know, I'm a. How much traction you have to have. You need to at least grip, like. At least, like, that's like, Afro length.
Co-host 2
That's so crazy. Do I go? Oh, yeah. Okay. This is conversation I want to get into. So that's why I want to do this one last. This girl tweeted, say calling me a gold digger when you don't have no go is peak fooling. So basically, she's saying like. Like, you can't call me a gold digger if you don't have any money.
Co-host 3
Do you think there's a limit to the amount of money? Oh, my bad.
Co-host 2
Okay. Say that. Say that.
Co-host 3
Yes.
Co-host 2
He said do respond and say lol. A gold digger doesn't need you to be rich. Just dumb enough to prioritize her wants over your needs. Do you think that's true? I think that's true. Because even when I was broke per se or didn't have money for, for a girl to think that or somebody to think that a girl is with me for my money, I still felt like that in a sense, like oh, you only want me because I'm spending time with you all the time. I feel like that's, that's also gold.
Co-host 3
So it's. I think it's hard for me to.
Co-host 2
Say I'm a gold dig.
Co-host 3
I think gold digging is purely monetary.
Co-host 2
Right? It doesn't. Yes it is. But that doesn't mean that that person has to have a lot of money. You could just be taking all his money. So if, if, if a girl is with a dude that's a millionaire and he don't spend it like that, he not out buying bags. But then she dates a dude that only makes 60000 and he's spending on her and stuff like that. And just because he doesn't have a lot of money doesn't mean she's not gold digging. But she's taking his time.
Co-host 3
And isn't the term gold digger meaning that you are with this person for the money?
Co-host 4
It's like a monitor.
Co-host 2
But some people. That's what I'm saying. Some people. But no, I get what you're saying. But some people give it up a little bit more than other people. But some people only put it in the space as like o had to be a millionaire for that person to be a gold digger. So if a dude was like oh I'm a manager at Walmart and I broke up with this girl for gold digging, a laugh at his face like bro, what she go digging you broke as. But if he was actually spending his $70,000 salary on her like more than.
Co-host 3
I don't think. Yeah, you don't have to have a cap on money because if my seventy thousand and if I'm spending three grand on you of my what five four thousand dollar paycheck check. Yeah. That would be like oh yeah, he's spending a lot. Because there's levels to gold digging.
Co-host 2
Yes.
Co-host 3
But I don't think if it's no money involved, it's just time. I don't think that's golding. I just think that should be needy.
Caller 2
Isn't it called something?
Co-host 4
Yeah, like that's called a succubus.
Caller 2
Oh yeah.
Co-host 3
Is that a real word? That's the real meaning for it too.
Caller 2
It's a demon.
Co-host 4
It sucks is like a. Yeah like a sleep demon.
Co-host 2
Some really what do it do to you man?
Co-host 4
Find out when you're sleeping.
Co-host 2
Hey, succubus. Succubus. I'm about to go to sleep. Just let me know if any succubus around here get real sleepy.
Co-host 3
Do you agree with this? I have another. I guess it's like a Facebook post. But I was gonna say if you guys agree with this until you post me and we lose both our together ain't going on.
Caller 2
I can't.
Co-host 2
You don't know comment, bro.
Co-host 3
I'm just saying if you're in the talking stages with somebody and you might be in the talking stages with other people as well, I don't think, like, I'm not posting you until you post me because then we're officially a couple. So we can all lose the girls that we're talking to or the guy. The guy you're talking to or know that, oh yeah, we're now exclusive. Yeah.
Co-host 2
Yeah. That's why I hate when people pretend like they don't know what's going on. Men or women. They'd be like, well, we was both playing. It's like, no, there's no such thing.
Co-host 3
As two people playing.
Co-host 2
One person is playing and the other person knows that person is. Is playing, so they pretend to be playing.
Caller 2
But how you pretending to be playing if you playing?
Co-host 2
Correct.
Co-host 3
Yeah, you're playing.
Co-host 2
You're pretending because you're going off the other person. You're not going solely off your feelings. They're going solely off their feelings.
Caller 2
So there's a cat breaker on playing somebody.
Co-host 3
No, I think it's like, it's like when people do things out of spite. So like, if I did something to you and it annoyed you and you don't really do that thing that's. That I'm doing that annoys you. But you're only doing it because I'm doing it. So it's kind of like doing it out of.
Co-host 2
So that's not really you, but you're doing it in retaliations to protect the your feelings. You know what I'm saying? Like, okay, you're not just about to walk all over me. So if you dating a girl and you. You try to. You mentioned boyfriend to her before and you kind of see her face like, oh, boyfriend. I don't know if I'm ready for that. So now you know in your head, oh, I'm never posting you before you post me. Because you got to be the person that breaks that barrier.
Co-host 3
Yeah.
Co-host 2
Because you stop this relationship from going somewhere. So that's the thing.
Caller 2
What's the point of posting somebody Nowadays.
Co-host 2
Though, it just, it just references.
Co-host 3
Yeah. Preference thing.
Caller 2
It is a preference thing. But I just post their wives and they want. They still cheating?
Co-host 3
Yeah, some people I think like the.
Caller 2
Posting is just all that childish.
Co-host 3
I think it, it, it depends on what you guys already do normally. Like. Yeah, yeah, 100 don't stop. If you're already posting all the time and you're posting like your, your past relationships and now you stopped when I.
Caller 2
Come around, that'll make me scared.
Co-host 3
Yeah.
Co-host 2
It'S definitely like. Yeah, yeah, it's definitely about habits. It, like what, like what are you doing consistently?
Co-host 3
Or if you over share your life on the Internet already and then this is the one aspect of your life. Because there's some people that are kind of private in general. They don't really share anything about their lives on the Internet. So it's like, obviously maybe somebody comes into my life, I might not share my relationship because of that reason.
Co-host 2
But you write about that. Like I legit have people that I know that I went to school with or work with that they post a wife and kids all the time on their social media. They, his family. He not even in the picture. That's his profile picture. It's his wife and his kids. And I know that cheat every day. You know what I'm saying? I know a dude that don't post his wife at all. Outside of the photos that he's tagged in, he don't post and he the most faithful dude I know. So it's just like your preference, I guess. Yes, it's your preference that do not matter, bro.
Co-host 3
What about what you're doing in the real world too?
Co-host 2
Yeah, bro, it's. It's some, it's people out here that they have the ability, I don't know why they use it to cheat, but they have the ability to give. They. But they have the. I don't. I'm saying like the people with double lives, they have the ability to give life to multiple things. Like a lot of I couldn't live a double life. Like one of them lives would be up.
Caller 2
How do you have a double life?
Co-host 2
Like exactly.
Caller 2
Be working full 12 hour shifts, traveling to Egypt, coming back to shoot a podcast. Like how do you do that?
Co-host 2
What are you talking about now?
Co-host 4
We have been getting a lot of calls from like people like living double lives and.
Co-host 2
Yeah, but I feel like that's a talent and they just using their time like that talent could be used. Like you could be a CEO, you know what I'm saying? Like you could run a business you could be. You could run two businesses and be like, I'm CEO over here and CEO over here, and I got the energy for both. But now you're investing in, like, a whole another.
Co-host 3
It's a tough economy, too. So a lot of people have multiple jobs now out too, or jobs. They work long hours, so there's time, definitely.
Caller 2
But then the money, too. Like, you gotta have money to live a double life.
Co-host 3
I think it's also for dudes. Sometimes it's easier because I feel like guys don't really ask as many questions as women in terms of, like, if a guy was the one getting cheating on the girl has a double life. I don't think the guy's asking as many questions.
Co-host 2
Ego.
Co-host 3
Yeah.
Co-host 2
If. If you could. If I could interview 100 women and I could be like, do you think your partner's cheating? Cheating on you? None of them would give me, like, a definite no, right? Some of them would be like, no. But if I interview 100 dudes, they'd be like, no. Yeah, yeah. My girl never cheated on. It's an ego thing. Why would I think my girl is talking to another dude until it happened? That's why men be so heartbroken. Like, women kind of already. Like, I think he cheating. I caught him cheating. Be like, what the five dudes. Did you really think she close to college Basketball? Basketball team, bro. It's only five of these. It's three on three. Oh, man.
Co-host 3
Anyway, that's been Crash Dummies episode 215.
Caller 2
Hold on, Mike, go ahead. I got a question to ask y'.
Caller 1
All.
Caller 2
Y' all got any Indian friends?
Caller 1
Yo.
Co-host 2
Subscribe to Patreon Merch Coming soon.
Caller 2
Wait a minute.
Co-host 2
Wait a minute.
Caller 2
Wait a minute. Wait.
Caller 3
Mom, Dad, I humbly suggest you save some money and shop Amazon for back to school. It's for my growth. Meaning my body's growing at an alarming rate. And clothes you buy me this year will be very small very soon. Plus, the clothes I love today will be out of style tomorrow. But at least your wallet doesn't have to be my fashion victim. If you shop low prices for school at Amazon, hopefully this is helpful. Amazon spend less Smart. Mom, dad, you should shop Amazon for back to school and save some money. See, I'm currently obsessed with superheroes and need all the superhero stuff. Superhero launchbox, superhero backpack. But next year it'll be something else. Maybe dinosaurs. I don't know. I'm not a fortune teller, but I can tell you not to spend a fortune and shop low prices for school on Amazon. Kay. Good chat, Amazon. Spend less, smile more.
Crash Dummies Podcast with Pat and Mike – Episode 215: "Mama Took The Charge"
Release Date: July 16, 2025
In Episode 215 of the Crash Dummies Podcast, hosts Patrick Johnson and Michael Esiobu delve into a diverse array of topics, blending humor with insightful discussions on societal issues, personal experiences, and current events. This episode, aptly titled "Mama Took The Charge," offers listeners a comprehensive exploration of themes ranging from racial discrimination and the evolving barbering industry to debates in the hip-hop world and personal relationship anecdotes. Below is a detailed summary capturing the essence of their engaging conversation.
The episode kicks off with a discussion about a distressing incident involving racial discrimination. Co-host Mike recounts a scenario where a man sued his employer for racial discrimination, settled the case, and faced further racial bias when attempting to cash the settlement check. The bank’s disbelief led to police involvement, triggering another lawsuit.
Mike: "Imagine doubling up like that. I'd be smiling like a motherfucker. I'll say. I think it's not real." ([00:15])
This segment sets a serious tone, highlighting the pervasive challenges individuals face even after seeking justice.
Patrick highlights a collaborative episode with the "Poor Minds" podcast, praising the unique dynamic it brought out in their usual discussions.
Patrick: "It was a different element for us because obviously you'll see some parts of the podcast where we don't talk about relationships and stuff or our personal life as much on this podcast when it comes to that stuff." ([01:27])
This collaboration showcases the hosts' versatility and openness to exploring personal topics beyond their typical scope.
A significant portion of the episode revolves around the rising costs of haircuts and the introduction of membership models. The hosts discuss Houston Barber’s $150-a-month membership for weekly haircuts, debating its value and the broader implications for consumers.
Mike: "Gone are the days of the 20 cut. I missed those days, bro." ([03:12])
They delve into the increasing expenses associated with grooming, the necessity of tipping, and the added services barbers now offer, such as face masks and hot towel treatments.
Patrick: "But now I'm at the point now it's like 50 a cut and $50 a cousin. It's... that's a lot of money." ([03:53])
This conversation underscores the tension between quality service and affordability in the modern barbering landscape.
The hosts transition to a hot topic in the music industry: Drake’s controversial statement claiming that UK rappers are superior to their American counterparts. They dissect the origins of this debate, citing artists like Skepta and Jordan Lucas, and weigh the merits and popularity of UK versus American rappers.
Mike: "I think UK rap is underrated, for sure." ([09:05])
Patrick and Mike engage in a nuanced discussion about cultural roots, popularity, and the subjective nature of musical talent, ultimately questioning the validity of Drake's assertion.
Patrick: "I think Drake's wrong, though. I don't know what he's talking about." ([12:10])
Their analysis highlights the complexities of international recognition and the deep-seated origins of hip-hop in America.
Another segment addresses changes in TSA body scanning technology. The hosts explore public fears about privacy, particularly the misconception that modern scanners reveal intimate details.
Mike: "TSA body scanners don't show your generals directly. At least any. Not anymore." ([21:23])
They clarify that current scanners use automated target recognition software to display generic outlines, moving away from the detailed images of the past.
Patrick: "They don't do that anymore because, like, privacy concerns." ([21:23])
This discussion provides clarity amidst widespread misinformation, emphasizing the importance of understanding technological advancements in security.
Patrick and Mike share personal anecdotes about their relationships with their parents, the respect they garner when not constantly present, and the challenges of growing up under parental scrutiny.
Mike: "I feel like my dad respects me a little bit more when he doesn't see me as much." ([15:56])
They reflect on how distance can foster mutual respect and personal growth, contrasting their experiences of living independently versus being under their parents' watchful eyes.
The hosts engage with listeners through a series of phone calls, addressing topics such as infidelity, maintaining relationships, and living double lives. Notably, a caller shares a harrowing story about discovering his father's secret family, leading to a morally complex situation where he holds his father ransom for monthly payments.
Caller: "I have a thousand dollars for your mom's loyalty." ([35:31])
Patrick and Mike navigate these conversations with a mix of empathy and humor, providing advice while maintaining their characteristic candidness.
Another caller discusses experiencing inappropriate behavior on a first date, highlighting the awkward and uncomfortable moments that can arise in romantic encounters.
Caller: "She stuck her finger on my ass. That's my beef, bro." ([47:01])
These interactions illustrate the podcast's commitment to addressing real-life issues faced by listeners, fostering a space for shared experiences and support.
Throughout the episode, Patrick and Mike incorporate humorous and relatable social media snippets, dissecting tweets that reflect common sentiments and comedic observations.
Patrick: "A gold digger doesn't need you to be rich. Just dumb enough to prioritize her wants over your needs." ([85:37])
These segments add a light-hearted element to the episode, allowing the hosts to comment on contemporary digital culture and its impact on personal relationships.
As the episode draws to a close, the hosts continue their dynamic interplay, wrapping up the various topics with their signature blend of humor and insight. They encourage listeners to engage with their content through Patreon and merchandise, ensuring a continued connection with their audience.
Mike: "Subscribe to Patreon Merch Coming soon." ([93:30])
Notable Quotes:
Conclusion
Episode 215 of the Crash Dummies Podcast masterfully balances humor with substantive discussions, making it a compelling listen for those interested in a blend of light-hearted banter and meaningful conversation. From dissecting industry trends and cultural debates to sharing personal listener stories, Patrick and Mike provide a multifaceted exploration of contemporary issues, all while maintaining an engaging and relatable tone.