Mixed Signals - Episode 263

Summary

Crash Dummies Podcast with Pat and Mike
Episode 263: Mixed Signals
Release Date: June 17, 2026

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Episode Overview

Patrick Johnson and Michael Esiobu, along with their rotating cast of friends, dig into a wild blend of current events, absurd personal stories, viral tweets, and everyday scenarios—many of which are purposely outlandish or unlikely. Throughout the episode, their trademark comedic banter drives the pace, and they frequently invite friends and listeners to share their own stories or participate in call-ins.

This episode bounces from gym etiquette and jump shots to wild dating tales, fan-related sports violence, the strange logic of reality TV, mosh pit retirements, and viral tweets. There’s a focus on the chaos and quirks of modern life, with a blend of reflection, humor, and the hosts’ willingness to tease each other and their guests.

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Key Topics & Highlights

Gym Respect: Jump Shots vs. Bench Press

• Pat’s new measure of respect for men: It’s no longer about benching 185 lbs, but simply about having a jump shot.
  • Pat (00:21): "If they have a jump shot...no matter how ugly it is, no matter what the percentage just a jump shot."
• Pat recounts an awkward gym encounter with a guy using two-handed “Siamese goosenecks” for form.
• Jean: Challenges Pat’s logic— "You could still be a good person. Don’t judge people by how much they lift." (02:09)
• Mike (02:19): "Did the shot go in?"
  • (It did not. Pat had to keep chasing rebounds.)

Social Media Names & Handles

• The group jokes about unique Instagram handles, the pain of underscores, and the struggles of grabbing the perfect name.
• Pat (04:09): "Who the hell got that name? Who got that name? You lying."

Anime Power-Ups & Road Rage

• Animated characters powering up lead to a discussion about real-life anger, street fights, and road rage.
  • Pat (05:17): "Is it gas? Are you getting erect?"
• Road rage logic: Don’t mess with teens or elderly, but everyone else is fair game.
• Jean (06:45): "You have to [choose your battles]. People are crazy out here."

The Detroit Shopping Trip with Pat’s Dad

• Pat describes looking for hypebeast-friendly clothes—avoiding stores pushing only Detroit sports merch.
• Tension over taste: Pat’s dad tries on a flashy shirt; Pat savagely shuts it down.
  • Pat (11:04): "Man, I wish I had three hands so I can give that three thumbs down. Take that off!"
• The group ponders letting their dads “express themselves” at public events.

Sports Fan Violence & NYC Energy

• Reflection on sports fans jumping a person for wearing the wrong jersey.
• Jean (12:12): "I said I want to see the city burn for [the Knicks] to win, but now I kind of take it back."
• Hostility differences across U.S. cities—NYC, Philly vs. the Southern states/Texas.
• Mike (13:16): "People got hurt."

Jumping and Getting Jumped: The Childhood/College Brawl

• Team loyalty turning scuffles into “everybody fights” situations.
  • Pat (16:00): "I’m talking about, like, off rip. There is no, like, especially how my family was…we’re fighting."
• The group weighs if getting jumped is a character builder, mostly agreed it’s a part of growing up, not adult life.
• Mosh pit nostalgia and “retirement” discussion; only Kanye could bring most out of mosh pit retirement.

Gender, Relationships, and Toxic Dating

• Tweet of the Week: "I think she’s using me for my terrible looks, bad penis, and no money."
  • Leads to a convo on delusional self-perception in men.
• Blueface interview: Preferring women “without houses” to maintain control triggers pushback.
  • Jean (26:47): "That’s some controlling shit."
  • The group debates gender dynamics, “project people,” and manipulative partners.
  • Pat (27:55): "If I marry someone from the hood, she’s never had some of the stuff…I might not get questioned."
  • Mike (29:22): "...some women get blinded by intimacy."
• Maya Moore’s story cited as an example of unusual relationship choices.

Listener Call-Ins: Worst Dates & Dating Disasters

Carrie’s Catastrophic Date (32:14)

• After finally asking a regular customer out, Carrie pays for a movie and dinner.
• At the end, the guy says, “I’m not gay, I thought this was a friendly date.”
  • Carrie (33:46): "What straight man is accepting a 'can I take you out?'"
  • Carrie concludes: "I think he lowkey might have just been dumb."
  • Jokes about the Crash Dummies being the "best podcast" and their inclusive humor.

The Revenge Relationship Gone Wrong (40:28)

• Guest relates how he "spun the block" on an ex, paying for gifts and upkeep, only to find out she was seeing another guy (with proof via screenshots/sex tapes).
  • Pat (44:12): "She didn’t have no saliva!"
  • Post-breakup lessons: Don’t go back to an ex you hurt; they WILL get you back.
  • Jean: "Everybody has a way of get-back, bro."
  • Advice: Time to "heal and move on."

Accidental Lesbian Date (54:24)

• A caller tells of unwittingly being taken on a date by her nail tech—only catching wise after being taken to a gay bar, treated to everything, then receiving an invite to cuddle following a suspicious flat tire (suspected sabotage!).
  • "She started posting about witchcraft on Snapchat and wouldn’t talk to me after I said I had a date."

Lies, Cheating, and How to Spot a Liar

• The crew discusses tactics people use to hide lies: overly perfect stories, rapid responses, deflecting questions, and throwing back old behaviors as red herrings.
  • Pat (67:41): "When you try to divert back to a behavior that I had in the past."
  • They riff on letting liars “cook,” adding more lies just for sport.

Reality & Dating Shows: Love Island Rant

• The hosts dissect Love Island’s formula—the manufactured drama, the shift from authenticity to content-creation, and the lucrative “fame for being fakely in love” loop.
  • Pat (72:35): "I just want to talk about the concept of the new Love Island… I was getting mad that everybody was kissing each other."
  • The evolution from true “reality” toward conscious, strategic play for followers and sponsorships.
  • They discuss occupations of contestants, including a police officer quitting for the show.
  • Pat (77:27): "Love Island is watched every year. Some of these people… grew up off this. Back in the day, they didn’t even know what show they was on."
• The group acknowledges the entertainment mix: seeing people exposed on a public stage, but also the fan culture blindly supporting “their” stars.

Tweets & Viral Moments

• Multiple “Tweet of the Week” reads, such as:
  • Sending foreigners to the “hood” for best food advice: "That’s where the good food be at sometimes."
  • The humorous logic of Amish sex acts: "Are the Amish allowed to motorboat their wife’s boobies or do they have to rowboat them?" (58:03)
• Ongoing sidebars: paranoia among small-time weed dealers, underestimating police priorities, and the madness of social media urban myths.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Pat (02:16): "Literally, everybody in hell has no jump shot."
• Pat (11:04): "I wish I had three hands so I can give that three thumbs down."
• Jean (12:12): "I said I want to see the city burn for [the Knicks] to win, but now I kind of take it back."
• Pat on relationships (27:55): "If I marry someone from the hood, she’s never had some of the stuff… she not even questioning some of the things I do."
• Carrie (33:46): "What straight man is accepting a 'can I take you out?'"
• Guest (40:28): "She said, I can have my other n*gga buy me some more."
• Pat (65:19): "He decided to eat her phone."
• Jean (67:28): "What would you consider cheating? If someone says that, that’s cheating."
• Pat (72:35): "I was getting mad that everybody was kissing each other."
• Pat (79:41): "She kind of was real crazy up in that villa… but her fan base still embraced her and allowed for her crazy behavior."

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Gym & Jump Shot Rant: 00:21–02:50
• Anime, Powering Up, and Street Fights: 04:47–06:40
• Detroit Shopping Trip & Dad’s Fashion: 09:00–11:28
• Sports Fan Violence: 12:00–15:20
• Group Fights, Jumping, Mosh Pits: 15:30–20:36
• Dating & Relationship Projects: 26:32–31:43
• Listener Call: Carrie’s Worst Date: 32:13–37:16
• Listener Call: Revenge Relationship: 40:28–48:13
• Listener Call: Accidental Lesbian Date: 54:24–58:12
• Identifying Liars: 66:59–69:34
• Love Island & Reality TV Reflection: 72:23–78:03

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Tone & Style

• Conversational, irreverent, blunt, and self-deprecating. The hosts rib each other about everything—from gym performance to failed relationships and reality TV obsessions.
• Frequent sideways banter, slang, and casual curse words; they jump in and out of stories with quick wit and friendly antagonism.
• The show creates space for honest listener input—awkward or wild, it’s all accepted.

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Final Thoughts

Mixed Signals is a classic Crash Dummies episode: equal parts wild barbershop talk, friendly roast session, and pop culture therapy. Whether discussing the politics of a jump shot, surviving a childhood brawl, or breaking down reality TV, Pat, Mike, and friends invite listeners to laugh at the randomness of modern life—while occasionally dropping surprisingly solid life advice.

Transcript

[Pat]

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[Jean]

Doesn't that equate to a jump shot though?

[Carrie]

No, no.

[Pat]

You know what I mean by jump shot. Like there's people with ugly jump shots. Like it might lean to the side or some shit. But you see kind of like, okay, I can tell his form, right? This dude look like he never picked up a basketball. Like he literally just went in there to probably just follow me and just like, bro, I got no respect for you, bro.

[Jean]

But you could still be a good person. I feel like you shouldn't equate somebody's like, the way they are to how much weight they can lift.

[Pat]

Literally, everybody in hell has no jump shot.

[Mike]

Did the shot go in?

[Jean]

Huh?

[Mike]

Did the shot go in?

[Pat]

Hell, no. We have to keep chasing the ball. That's why the conversation was so long. Nigga was missing. Like, he was. You know that top corner, the backboard that make the ball go everywhere. That kept hitting that. I'm like, bro, I kept chasing the rebound. Like, you gonna keep shooting that or what? He kept shooting it from the baseline, too. You know, like they could shoot straight away. So we get the rebo.

[Jean]

That's not what we doing.

[Pat]

Hello.

[Jean]

Hey, the radio is for people who are driving. Welcome to Crash Dummies podcast. Oh, man. Anyway, welcome to Crash Dummies podcast. Got Pat here, Jean here. We got Carrie here. I actually, I have a confession.

[Mike]

Yes.

[Jean]

I spelled your name wrong in my contacts for a while, and guess who called him out?

[Pat]

Guess who called him?

[Jean]

I.

[Pat]

You didn't call them out.

[Jean]

But. But he called it out a while ago. I just didn't change with I see a R I or C A R, R I.

[Mike]

That only makes sense. I'm. I'm going to give you a pass. No, because from here.

[Jean]

No, no, don't say that.

[Pat]

Where are you from?

[Jean]

Where are you from? It's because your ig like, all one thing. It's like, Carrie. Noni, Noni, Noni.

[Pat]

Oh, he it up twice.

[Guest 1]

I would.

[Pat]

I would never carry Non International Women's

[Carrie]

Year, but I feel like you need

[Jean]

to put a dot in between it.

[Mike]

No, I want to get the underscore from off of it. Don't y' all hate that? That somebody might have the name that you want for your Instagram.

[Jean]

Somebody had your name.

[Pat]

Who the hell got that name? Who got that name? You lying.

[Mike]

And we get it.

[Pat]

N. We got to find the person.

[Jean]

No, we got.

[Pat]

I feel like we could talk it out with the car. Noni. It got to be some dude. He probably not even from here. He probably Brazilian or some car. Noni, man, that's South Sudan. It's just my name.

[Jean]

Japanese. Non.

[Pat]

I literally didn't want to say that. Come on now, bro.

[Jean]

You can't. That's all. That's anime.

[Pat]

Nah, bro.

[Carrie]

No.

[Mike]

You know what?

[Pat]

You sound like the uncle from Avatar. Suko.

[Jean]

The things be get so angry.

[Pat]

Animes, they be getting angry.

[Jean]

They be powering up no matter what.

[Pat]

N. What? Where did I ask that? I think that I asked that on the extra gravy, like, podcast. Like what's happening when people power up? Because it's like as a human right, something has to happen. If you're doing all that screaming.

[Jean]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Like you're thinking of trauma.

[Pat]

Is it gas? Are you getting erect?

[Carrie]

Whoa.

[Pat]

I'm just saying, you think you're supposed

[Guest 2]

to be absorbing energy, like she from the world, you know what I'm saying? But where's the energy going?

[Pat]

That's what I'm saying.

[Jean]

If you get into a fight, maybe it's like going to the fight.

[Pat]

No, no, no, no. But you don't power up before a fight. You kind of like, there's almost like a sense of calmness there.

[Jean]

Before the street fight, as a kid, I kind of did power up.

[Pat]

Got it.

[Jean]

Because I was like the kid that got like. When I got angry, I started crying. So I'll be like, oh, and I didn't want to fight then, you know, I kind of power. That's my powering up before getting to that point.

[Mike]

At what age do you stop doing that?

[Jean]

I feel like I haven't been that angry yet. So I don't know.

[Mike]

Can a 40 year old power up?

[Pat]

Yeah, you know?

[Jean]

Yeah, yeah, 13.

[Mike]

No, I said 40.

[Jean]

Oh, 40, 40, 45.

[Pat]

I feel like, I feel like some people nowadays have to hype they self into a fight.

[Jean]

I've seen like, I see people do the pacing back and forth.

[Pat]

Yeah, they like, oh, yeah, got me fucked up. It gets you more and more in the head. Like, it's just like they want to feel more powerful. I think some people, I don't. Some people use that as a scare tactic because they don't want to fight. And some people are like convincing themselves to fight, like, oh, you got me fucked up. You got me fucked up. You know, you ever got in a roll rage incident and then the person just hype as hell. It's like, bro, just turn on your AC and just calm down.

[Jean]

I kind of chew. I choose my road rage battles a little wisely.

[Mike]

You have to now.

[Jean]

You have to.

[Mike]

People are crazy out here.

[Jean]

It'd be anybody too. Especially the youngest. Man, I'm gonna look like like 17 year olds be driving and they'd be cutting you off. And I saw somebody just swerving the road the other day. I'm like, you got it, bro.

[Pat]

Them the only two people I won't get in a road rage with. Like, if it's. I feel like if it's somebody that shouldn't be driving, like It'd be a 16, a little white girl, black dude. Like, it don't matter who the it is, if they drive and they look young, you got it, bro. You can cut me off all you want. You can't drive to me. And then if it's an old person, you got it. But everybody in between. That's why I got a faster car. Bitch. We gonna take this ride.

[Jean]

No. Anybody? Anybody?

[Carrie]

60.

[Jean]

Enough. I'm honking at them.

[Pat]

60 and up.

[Jean]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Pat]

No, that's crazy.

[Jean]

I'm honking at them.

[Pat]

That's crazy.

[Mike]

I used to say that I feel like people over a certain age need to go back and test to get their license.

[Jean]

Yes, I think so.

[Guest 2]

I think they do.

[Mike]

They should.

[Jean]

I feel like not even just for

[Pat]

like old people, it expires, but like, at some point in time, the years go on like, it should be a different test.

[Mike]

I'm talking about you getting in the car.

[Jean]

Yeah.

[Mike]

And you driving with an instructor. And they get to tell you whether or not you are fit for the road.

[Jean]

But again, that's. That's also a waste of time in a sense, because I feel like people would just code switch their driving when they're in front of the instruction.

[Pat]

Yeah, you're getting ready for the test. They really. The tests need to be. Is like when they take a driver driver test, they need somebody in the backseat saying, go. Why is you in the left lane? Get the out of the left lane.

[Jean]

That's never really happened. A backseat driver like that.

[Pat]

What?

[Jean]

A backseat driver saying, go. Yeah.

[Guest 2]

Yes.

[Pat]

I have to.

[Guest 2]

Who?

[Pat]

Who? My uncle.

[Jean]

Oh, okay.

[Pat]

I got an older uncle. I'd be not yell at that, bro. Sometimes he'd be in the left lane going 60. And we in Detroit.

[Jean]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And everybody else going 100 miles an hour. He about to get us rear ended shot. Real ended going 60.

[Jean]

Nah, I was saying we were hanging with Pat's dad. That boy. That's a real Detroit dude.

[Pat]

Oh, my God.

[Jean]

Yeah, Yeah. I see where Pat get it.

[Guest 1]

Pat.

[Jean]

Pat met his match, though.

[Pat]

No, no, no, no. That got it right.

[Jean]

Some. I would have thought Pat would have argued about. He bowed out.

[Mike]

What happened?

[Jean]

It was just especially like places to go shopping. And my Pat knew. Go ahead.

[Pat]

Okay. So, like, when. When me and Mike look for places to go shopping, we're. We're kind of like hypebeast now, to be honest. Just like, we like the higher end shirts mainly because we don't want nobody wearing the same shirt to us to a show. So we can't go to like a H and M or something and grab like a nice shirt because they go

[Jean]

To Zara, get a white tea.

[Pat]

Zara. The white tees don't count. White tees don't count. But we try to go to those places just to try to be different, you know, at least for the show.

[Mike]

And.

[Pat]

And my dad was. We was searching around for places, and we kept striking out. Either place didn't have enough stuff for our sizes. My dad was like, oh, I got a suggestion. I'm going to take you to this store over here. So I looked it up on the Internet. And, like, mind you, this store is based in Detroit. No shade to them, but every shirt is based off a Detroit sports team. So it's like a Kate Cunningham jersey, but it got a collar on it in a pocket on the front. T shirt with the number three of Pistons right here. So I tell my dad. I'm like, no, that's not what we looking for. And then he like, no, they got different stuff in there. You sleeping on them. And then he was, like, trying to tell me other pieces. And it was like an army fatigue hoodie, but the sleeves was cut off and shit, bro. This ain't our type of store, bro. But you got it, bro.

[Jean]

When we left the stores that we were trying to check out, just on. On Google, and he's like, I told y', all, they don't got. And then we went to the. We went to another store. It was a decent, really good store. They had some really good pieces in there. Past dad cried on. It was kind of like a shirt like this, but a different color.

[Pat]

No, it was way different color. But that shirt, though, it was like a dirt.

[Jean]

Like, about a big. It was like a 3X, though. Way too big. He walked up to pass that. First he asked me. I was like, oh, that fire og. I said it was fire. Cause I was like, okay, try to be different.

[Guest 2]

This

[Jean]

shut him down.

[Pat]

He came up to me, I said, man, I wish I had three hands so I can get that three thumbs down. Take that off, man.

[Jean]

I felt bad because he actually put it away.

[Pat]

Yeah, hell no. He know better than that.

[Jean]

And he was parked illegally, too.

[Pat]

He was parked illegally. No, he. He just gotta stick to his white tees, man. He got all that jewelry on. He don't need no. He don't need no flashy shirt like that, bro. It's a bright yellow shirt with, like, that. It was bright yellow, and it, like. It was like. It had more colors in it. It had red in it. Like, it was like one of them.

[Mike]

Not letting your dad express himself?

[Pat]

Nah, not to my show, though. If that was honestly because I was scared he was gonna wear it to my show. And I'. Nah, bro, I already told people about you, bro. They don't need to see you in that light. Like, damn, why your dad got on that? No, I promise you. You're a real street.

[Jean]

I didn't plug. I didn't plug anything. Make sure you guys subscribe to the Patreon and go to Crazy Merch for merch as well.

[Guest 1]

Boom.

[Pat]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jean]

So we're shooting. Just to be candid with y', all, we're shooting ahead of time. By the time you hear this, I will be out the country. So when I'm talking about the Knicks, I'm talking about this in past tense. I did say I want to. I want to see the city burn for them to win, but now I kind of take it back.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Jean]

Because when I saw yesterday when people getting jumped wearing spurs jerseys, I was like. Because I get the. The. The fun ones, like, if they heckle them and tell them to get out there. But when, like, punches and start getting thrown, dude was like, bleeding. You see that one?

[Pat]

Yeah. That's real east coast, though. They do that in Philly, too.

[Jean]

But go ahead.

[Mike]

I just don't make it right.

[Jean]

Yeah.

[Mike]

I didn't like that they were bullying people. That dude was just walking down the street. Now he's bloodied up in the face, like, kicking the bus.

[Jean]

It's like, if he was antagonizing. But they also said this wouldn't happen in the south either. No, that is true.

[Pat]

That's true. Though. If you know for sure, especially New York is one of them places. I'm squabbling.

[Jean]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And I'm squabbling off RIP because of the gun laws. It's just like, I know I'm good. Yeah. Texas is one of them places where you kind of like, yeah, everybody.

[Jean]

Everybody got a gun.

[Pat]

Everybody got.

[Jean]

I mean, I would say Milwaukee's that way, too. We're all open carry states, so it's like you just can't get jumped like that without, like, no repercussions of nobody. Like no one. But I'm glad. Obviously, I'm glad no one. I mean, nobody got hurt. I think it got hurt. No, no.

[Mike]

People got.

[Jean]

Yeah.

[Pat]

I'm not. I'm not going to live. We was in Texas, and I had on the Tim Duncan jersey or a jersey, and it was an open carry state, and they get Tim Duncan catch a quadruple double tonight. Quadruple murdering.

[Jean]

This just like. I don't know. Obviously, I like the energy. That's why I meant by like the city bringing. I just like seeing the energy outside the. The stadium. But like, to people, like jumping people for no reason. There was another one that was. I saw another dude that was like. They were trashing those trying to take the light pole down. And the dude was like, why y' all breaking down the city? This is our city. This is our city. And they mushed the out that.

[Mike]

I just don't know why the cops weren't doing anything, bro.

[Pat]

The cops, they outnumbered police out there, they just too outnumbered to like go into something like that. Because then it starts to get to like a. A 1v1 situation. And then I'm saying, like, it's. I think with cops, especially if you arrest somebody. As soon as you arrest somebody, you kind of tied to that person. And now you really can't help any other cop. So you kind of just want your presence to be known.

[Jean]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And hopefully don't escalate. But that crazy though. Why would they even expect that? Like, damn. I didn't expect y' all to start tearing down the city after we lost.

[Mike]

I think it's a lot of the young kids too, because they have all the energy around them and they also are recording it. Maybe they're streaming it outside. So it's just.

[Carrie]

Just.

[Mike]

It's too much at once.

[Jean]

What I didn't like about that one video with the spurs fan getting jumped was that when he was running the first initial. I think it was a white kid that ran up to him and he boo. Upped his ass, right?

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Jean]

So he got stunned and then he was getting dragged away. And the dude wasn't on after that, Right. He chilled out. He calmed down. Not until the point where the guy gets slammed to the floor and people are stomping him. Then I see him come back into the crowd and try to get his lick in. Unless some ass shit.

[Pat]

That's everybody. That's the fucked up part about a mob is you only can beat the shit out of so many people. Eventually somebody's gonna come up to you and at least tie. Like at least exchange. And once they exchange with you, the second punch come from the second person gonna do so much damage because it's like this. Even fight with him and now it's four other people punching me. It's over.

[Jean]

Have you ever jumped somebody or got jumped?

[Guest 2]

Nah.

[Jean]

No. You, Bro, I'm. You're not. I know you haven't jumped anyone in at least 10 years. So like.

[Pat]

Oh, longer than that.

[Guest 2]

Yeah.

[Pat]

10 years. Way longer than that.

[Jean]

I'm talking about as a kid, though.

[Pat]

It's been a while. It's like, I don't know what you. Like, I've never intentionally. Like, I wasn't part of no gang, looking around, like, ready to jump. But it's just like, with certain. Like, with my family members back where I'm from is like, you don't. You can't come home and be like, oh, like my cousin Casey. Oh, yeah, he fought today. He won, I think, like, no, no, no, no, no. You getting your ass beat. Yeah, it's like one fight. We all fight.

[Jean]

No, that's how it works.

[Pat]

It's just like, I'm talking about, like, off rip. There is no, like, especially how, like, my family was. Like, if there's even an argument, we're fighting, like, everybody's fighting that you can't even walk away. The shit used to be so annoying. Just be hooping and your hot head cousin, like, man, fuck all y' all niggas. Come on, man. These are my teammates.

[Jean]

I feel like I got into every fight or got jumped all because of my brother. Others, there's always. It was always dumb. Like, I'm always. Either have to, like, defend them or. Or the vice versa because. But I don't know. Getting jumped. I don't know. Getting jumped as a character builder.

[Mike]

For me, though, I have never.

[Jean]

As a kid, I.

[Mike]

And I never have.

[Jean]

No, no, no. Getting jumped now is crazy. I don't know if I got jumped now. Come on now. Like, why y' all jumping me? Like, there's no point of getting, like, being 25 and up. I feel like you shouldn't be getting jumped. If you're out of college, there's no way you should get junk. Because in college, it kind of still makes sense sometimes when you're in sports teams, I've seen situation where, like, the basketball team is fighting the baseball team or some like that, and it's just like the same thing. You're saying, like, you see one of your teammates fighting, you jump in and help. But after you graduate school, it's like, what situations are you really in? To get drunk?

[Mike]

You in a mosh pit, maybe.

[Pat]

Yeah, nobody's doing that

[Jean]

one, kid.

[Pat]

Oh, yeah, true. No, get it.

[Mike]

Fighting in mosh pit.

[Pat]

No, getting jumped is like. It's. It's like one of the few moments where you're just. You're angry, but you can't do about it. But you're like, why are six people trying to beat my ass? There's been times like where I was supposed to get jumped and I ran. But like, while I was running, I was mad as fuck. Like I'm. I can't wait until tomorrow, I swear to God. And these niggas got me sprinting up the street like I'm like out of breath. Like at the park I thought I ran from, from ass got me running all down the street like I'm some type of hoe, knowing I got.

[Jean]

We had security at our building growing up. So when I was. We got jumped and we like beat some people up and then we got. We're getting jumped so we ran back to our building. It's just that, like now the security just look at me as a. That like, why 20 chasing you? Have you. You. You seem like a mosh pits person back in the day.

[Guest 2]

I've been in some mosh pits for sure.

[Carrie]

What?

[Jean]

When. When did you stop? I know. Come on now. You got short shorts on with a skull on it. You know that

[Pat]

my last mosh pit

[Guest 2]

was probably like a summer ago actually.

[Jean]

No, not you. A dad. You can't mosh pit.

[Guest 2]

Like before. Like when I turned 30, I think I had my last mosh pit.

[Jean]

Did you know it was your last.

[Mike]

Go live your best life.

[Jean]

Did you know it was your last mosh?

[Pat]

Did a Kobe Farewell tour on MoshFit one last time.

[Guest 2]

You know, we got summer fest here and so it was like we had like Ken Carson and like we had.

[Jean]

Are you done now though?

[Guest 2]

A bunch of opium members and like that. I'm. Hell yeah, I'm done.

[Jean]

But what would bring you out of retirement though? Like what. What artist would bring you out of mosh pit?

[Guest 2]

Kanye.

[Jean]

Kanye.

[Guest 2]

Kanye came and did like a festival.

[Pat]

Now that'd be dope.

[Jean]

Is it the carnival song? You do it too.

[Guest 2]

It had to be some old school. I would just mosh pit to whatever. Honestly,

[Mike]

my face.

[Jean]

A good life is crazy. Run away love

[Pat]

spinning back fist. How it feels.

[Jean]

How it feels mosh when everybody else is doing the side to sideways.

[Pat]

Wait, no, that's not the you right?

[Mike]

You gotta have some built up anger or just angst for that.

[Jean]

No, I've never been a Mosfet person.

[Pat]

No, I never. I can't be a mosh person because I'm way too conscious of who hit me, you know? Like I might not. I might not hit the back right away, but I'm getting that for the concert over.

[Jean]

No, the. Where is the closest I've been to a mosh pit. It wasn't even a real mosh. It Was at the. I think it might have been the karaoke night that we threw that.

[Mike]

You threw too much pin at the karaoke, bro.

[Jean]

Let me tell you.

[Pat]

Ali, bro.

[Jean]

Yeah, it's her birthday. Karaoke people are mosh pitting and I was coming off my injury and this, this is like a. A 16 year old or some.

[Pat]

He good at starting moshfish. I didn't see him in plenty. Yeah.

[Jean]

And he started starting a mosh pit and he touched me. I said, bro, I said, that's the angries I've probably ever gotten. I said, bro, if you ever touched me like that, I'm punching you your chest. I told that I would say I will punch you in your chest if you touch me.

[Pat]

Like 16 year old, bro, trying to John Q that little.

[Jean]

I was gonna hit that square in his chest, bro.

[Pat]

No, that's crazy cuz I just had

[Jean]

an Achilles injury, so I was like still like limping around a little bit. So I got feel it. But dang, No, I would. No, I would have.

[Guest 2]

He's 18.

[Jean]

He's 18, but I would have doused it.

[Pat]

He just turned 18, right?

[Guest 2]

Like just turned 19 or 20.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

I don't really see too many women going to the mosh pit. Do y' all see a lot?

[Pat]

Yeah, but they usually built a certain type of way. You, you know those like, you know those like, you know, baseball shirts like where it's like a different. Like the sleeves is like dark color and the shirt is white. It usually like got that on. Yeah, yeah.

[Jean]

There be some girls mosh pitting though.

[Pat]

Like I ain't never seen a good looking girl mosh pit.

[Jean]

No, they be like at the, like the artist, like the Molly Santana. Those, those type of artists in that realm that make those type of hype music.

[Guest 2]

There's some mosh pits where they just kind of stand there and swing their arms type like.

[Pat]

Okay.

[Guest 2]

A lot of women in those, in those pits.

[Jean]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Still ain't seen you show me a woman in the mosh pit and I'll go to her shower and show you.

[Carrie]

No. Nope,

[Pat]

I'll show you a unused shower. This ain't never been used before. All right. Somebody said a Bosnia.

[Jean]

Come on, you gotta introduce. You gotta introduce. Tweety Week. Better than that, bro.

[Guest 2]

Yeah, for sure.

[Pat]

Oh, my bad. You're right. That's good. Like when your friends call you out on bullshit. But I like when my friends call me out on bullshit because they like.

[Jean]

There's a joke, guys.

[Pat]

I'm just saying.

[Jean]

Go ahead, go.

[Carrie]

Come on.

[Jean]

I'll look at the camera for this kind of.

[Pat]

It kind of open it up. You know what I mean? Now I can call you out on your bullshit more freely. You're misogynistic.

[Jean]

Stop that.

[Guest 2]

There is.

[Pat]

Okay, y' all been looking for the best deals for baseball tickets as we get into this summer. Because I love tailgating. Which is why I want to give the sponsor today's episode, Seatgeek, a huge shout out. With over 35 million downloads, Seatgeek is the number one rated ticketing app.

[Jean]

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[Pat]

Man, you already know. This year I'm tailgating, bro. I need me a beer. I don't even drink beer like that, but baseball make me drink beer and eat hot dogs, bro. So I'm going to the brewers game. Holla at me. I got my jersey from when I threw out the first pitch. I'm ready. I'm getting all my tickets to SeatGeek this year. And you know SeatGeek has your back. Each ticket is rated on a scale to 1 to 10, so you know you're getting a good deal. So look for the green dots. That means good and the red dots mean bad. Plus, every tick is backed by buyer guarantee.

[Jean]

And of course, we got a code for you guys. You can use Dummies10 for 10 off your next set of tickets at SeatGeek. That's 10 off any tickets with promo code Dummies10. Make sure you click the link in the description to download the app and have the code automatically added to your account so you can use it later. Thanks SeatGeek for sponsoring the podcast.

[Pat]

Yo, let's take a quick break from today's pod to thank the sponsor of today's episode, Brooklyn Betting. Listen, I truly believe sleep is the foundation for everything. Mood, stamina, the way you work after a long day. I need that bed that actually helps me and recharges me for the next day.

[Jean]

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[Pat]

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[Jean]

And listen, if you live in a warmer climate, they also use glacial Tex covers and temperature regulating materials to help keep you cool and comfortable all night long. We've definitely noticed a difference.

[Pat]

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[Jean]

That's where the good food be at sometimes.

[Pat]

No, it is in.

[Jean]

And I feel like when you're, when you look like you don't belong at times you get the biggest passes.

[Pat]

Yes, the biggest pass. Because nobody want to go. Everybody think jail time when they see somebody that don't belong.

[Jean]

Yeah, like somebody that looks not dangerous, I would say.

[Pat]

And also I would say like a Bosnian person. Those, like tougher European people kind of where they grew up is the hood. Like some of them.

[Jean]

Hold on, I thought, I'm thinking Botswana.

[Mike]

Okay, Botswana.

[Jean]

Yeah. That's Africa.

[Pat]

Yeah. Bosnian. We met some Bosnian people here in Milwaukee who they run a dispensary that we went to.

[Jean]

Oh, okay. Okay.

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah. Probably run a lot of other too shout out to them. Another tweet of the week. Somebody said, I think she's using me for my terrible looks, bad penis and no money.

[Mike]

What's she using them for?

[Pat]

But that's, that's the thing. Like, I've heard dudes like countless amount of times. I'm not gonna call him out. They'd be like, bro, I had the dropper. She was trying to use me. And then I like look like I evaluate the dude that said it like, bro, you ain't got.

[Mike]

That's the point.

[Pat]

You know what I'm saying? Like, what's she using you for?

[Jean]

Yeah, yeah. There do be dudes that are like that.

[Guest 1]

Yeah.

[Jean]

And.

[Pat]

I also saw a clip of Blueface with. He had an interview with Jason Lee and he was talking about how he don't want a woman that has the same thing that he has because he's the leader. So basically he's saying, if I got a house, I'm not going after no woman with no house.

[Jean]

Nah, that's some controlling shit.

[Mike]

Nobody should listen to what Blueface has to say.

[Jean]

That's the toxic shit. Right?

[Pat]

Just go to retriever. What do you say about the Eiffel Tower?

[Jean]

There are dudes like that, though. They like, they, they like. I would say they're more attracted to the girls who don't really have much going on in their lives.

[Mike]

Easier to manipulate.

[Guest 3]

Yeah, yeah.

[Pat]

There's some women like that too, though. They like, they like dudes that they can build up a project. Yeah, they like a project more.

[Jean]

No, don't want to build a project. Who I feel like dudes are more

[Mike]

willing to than a girl is.

[Pat]

What are you talking about?

[Jean]

You think dudes like girls that are projects?

[Mike]

Yeah, both.

[Pat]

Both sides do.

[Guest 2]

I don't think they know that they like them because they're projects.

[Jean]

I don't think so. I don't think. I don't think on. On average, I don't think most guys are going into, like, I can really build this woman up if they got

[Pat]

a lot of money, in a way, they.

[Jean]

I.

[Pat]

No, that's not true.

[Jean]

Okay. I could be wrong.

[Pat]

I believe that. No offense to like, people that play sports, NFL, NBA. I believe that some of them do that knowing that they can get away with other stuff.

[Jean]

Stuff.

[Pat]

You know what I mean?

[Jean]

Because that's what I'm trying to get at then.

[Pat]

Because if. Because if they met someone, like, let's say this woman is like a lawyer. She made 350, 000 a year and I play in the NBA. I might not want to go into something like that because she checking everything where we going, this and that. But if I marry someone that I grew up with and come to hood, she never has some of the stuff, so she not even questioning some of the things I do. So I feel like some people do that. It's like a manipulation tactic.

[Jean]

Yeah, yeah.

[Pat]

And I think it's vice versa too. I've seen. I've seen women taking them in. They ain't got no car. No. But that gives him the security. Like, oh, this dude can't cheat on me because I always know where he at.

[Carrie]

Hell no.

[Jean]

I ain't seen that one.

[Pat]

What? You ain't seen that?

[Mike]

I ain't seen not one woman in a man with no house and no Car.

[Carrie]

What?

[Mike]

What the. I said willingly to say, like, oh, I could use him. He's crazy.

[Pat]

They do. Because some of these women, they got their household down packed, and all they need is a man. And a man sometimes with money, money is too controlling. But if you get this dude who ain't got. Now you gotta ride. You ain't gotta. She ain't gotta drive to work no more. She got this driving around the city with the bedazzled steering wheel, picking her up on time. No, that. You ever seen Baby boy. Yeah, bro, that shit's still going on. Why you think these women be complaining about their baby daddy, that they can't help with summer camp? And, like, like, this shit's still going on, man.

[Mike]

I think they get. Some women definitely get blinded by, like, intimacy. I'll say that. But willingly being, like, man, I don't care. My man ain't gonna.

[Jean]

Yeah, you see. You see some women come on these podcasts and say, like. I mean, like, I'm gonna say Ari Lennox, for example, when she was saying that she was. She was, like, not attracted to the good guys when she was coming up, she was attracted to them, which I'm

[Mike]

proud she admitted that.

[Jean]

Yeah, yeah.

[Guest 2]

Which I know women who have, like, admittedly, like, told me, like, yeah, now I With, like, broke because I With hood. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, they got all the money. They give me whatever I want. But, like, now it's a different kind of relationship that I'm looking for because I don't. I don't need to provide. I need somebody who's gonna be there. You know what I'm saying?

[Pat]

Come on, now, talk. Talk.

[Mike]

Stand up.

[Pat]

You saying what they should do, but I'm talking about reality, and there's different.

[Jean]

I'm kind of leaning more your way, Carrie, just because I do get what you're saying, because I don't. I don't see any woman, like, in my. In my personal. Like, I've ever seen. Are you.

[Pat]

But y', all, like, be honest.

[Guest 2]

I got.

[Pat]

I got a lot of family in the hood, so I, like. I see this every day. I see that. Literally.

[Jean]

We're saying. We're saying a woman that was, like, well off. Well off.

[Pat]

I'm seeing. No, no, no. But I'm saying, like, well off to me, especially now with this economy, me is if you single and you can take care of yourself or you can take care of kids by yourself and you're a single mom. That's pretty well off.

[Jean]

Yeah. Okay.

[Pat]

You're not, like, Dying. Check the check. Like, you got a house, a car. You got everything. I've literally seen come home from 17 years in prison and not even be the father of those kids and then jump right into there.

[Mike]

I guess maybe because of proximity, if they all live in the same, like, areas and they know them and they're familiar with them, then I can see it. But.

[Pat]

But it's also. But it's also a thing of, like. It's like a control thing. And not to say, like, it's bad, but, like, it helps them know, like, oh, this man is less likely to cheat on me because he ain't got no motion. This broke his hands. He got. He might in some cases.

[Jean]

Nah, come on, now. Come on.

[Pat]

Maya Moore married a nigga out of jail.

[Mike]

Yeah, that's a different case.

[Jean]

Shout out to my moore.

[Pat]

No, shout out to NBA.

[Jean]

I mean, wnb n. Man. Legends.

[Pat]

Too good.

[Jean]

Legend.

[Pat]

He came home slinging that. Legend.

[Guest 2]

You.

[Pat]

What's the word?

[Carrie]

What's happening?

[Pat]

Welcome to Crash Jamie's podcast. What's good?

[Carrie]

What's going on? I don't know how to turn on the speaker, bro. I don't. I don't use Instagram. Call.

[Pat]

No, you good? As long as you can hear us, we can hear you pretty well.

[Carrie]

Okay, Cool, cool, cool.

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah. Okay, we got a question for you.

[Carrie]

What's up?

[Pat]

What's the worst date you've ever been on?

[Carrie]

All right, so I. I used to work at a restaurant, and I asked this dude out after. After maybe, like, five or six times seeing them. You know, I was at work, so I didn't really want to say nothing, but. But eventually I got the courage to just be like, you know, can I take you out? He said, yeah. We went on a date.

[Guest 1]

We went to the movies.

[Carrie]

We got food. It was cool as hell. We talked for a long time, and then I got to the end of the night, and I was like, you know, this was really nice. You know, I like this. You know, we should do it again. You know, I thought you were super handsome. And I. And I. And I'm glad that I. I finally got up the courage to, you know, ask you. And he was like, I. I was wondering, was. Was that what this was? And I was like, what do you. What like, what you mean? And he was like, oh, I'm not gay. And I was like. I was like, okay, what did you think I meant when I said, can I take you out?

[Guest 3]

Out?

[Carrie]

And he. And he said, I. I don't know. I just thought it was, like, a Friendly, A friendly date. And I was like, what? Like that. What straight man is. Is accepting a. Can I take you out?

[Jean]

Okay.

[Pat]

What, what happened on the date, though?

[Jean]

Yeah, like, walk us through that.

[Carrie]

It was, I mean, it was just a normal, like, date. It was just super cute. We. I forgot what movie we went to see. This was like five or six years ago. We went to go see a movie.

[Guest 2]

I.

[Carrie]

But first of all, I paid for everything. It was nuts. I paid for everything. We went to go see the movie. It was, it was cool. I, we, we. We went to go get food. We went to one of those all you can eat Chinese buffets or whatever.

[Jean]

Okay.

[Carrie]

It was, it was good, you know, we enjoyed ourselves. And like I said at the end of the night, he just, he just threw me for a little. And then, and then you threw his

[Jean]

ass for a loop as well.

[Carrie]

He knew what the he was doing, man. I don't care. Why do you think do walk up to you and. Well, I do walk up to you and say, can I take you out? What do that mean?

[Pat]

No, yeah, yeah, I definitely can see where you're coming from. But what, what I want to know is why do you think he said that? At the end of the day, do you think like, oh, he got scared of how forward you were or do you think like he just used you for a meal?

[Carrie]

So I honestly, I think he low key might have just been dumb. I don't think he was. I don't think he was like trying to use me for. Because, I mean, we went to go see a movie and we went to go get a 20 all you can eat buffet. Like it was, you know what I'm saying? Like, it wasn't like, crazy.

[Pat]

Where did y' all sit in the movie? Like, y' all sat that right next to each other?

[Carrie]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Oh, man.

[Jean]

He knew was, was the, the elbow thing down the armrest.

[Carrie]

I mean, it was a long ass time ago. I don't remember. I was touching his leg or some probably. I don't know.

[Pat]

Oh, yeah.

[Jean]

He just thought his homie on the thigh ground.

[Pat]

He's like, man, dude, this is my boy.

[Jean]

Did you have his number prior to asking him to go to the.

[Carrie]

I had a Snapchat.

[Jean]

Oh, okay.

[Carrie]

So he went snap was real, real popular.

[Pat]

And then he already knew. You also like men already.

[Carrie]

I mean, I didn't come out and say, I'm gay, let me take you on a date. I said, hey, I want to take you out. I, I assumed that he would, you know, realize what that meant.

[Jean]

But did you. When you guys say you're Snapchat friends, right? So you guys knew each other prior to you asking him on a date?

[Carrie]

No. He would come into my job and I. And I.

[Guest 1]

Dad.

[Carrie]

And I was. I called him handsome before.

[Guest 3]

Huh?

[Carrie]

And. And he. And he smiled and he said thank you. And. And everything. Everything was great. And. And like, I said, it was. It was like five or six times of him coming in where I was like, man, I should. I should say something. But I just. I just. I was like, too scared and I.

[Guest 3]

And I'm.

[Jean]

I'm at work and I feel it.

[Carrie]

So you know what I'm saying?

[Pat]

Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He definitely played you. I don't know if. I don't know if he won. I don't think he that dumb. No, I think there was something that you might have said that he felt like, oh, I gotta get out of this now.

[Jean]

He might have liked the day too much.

[Carrie]

Yeah, no, I feel that. I. I. Listen, bro, I'm. I'm not like. I think I like myself. I'm a cool guy, bro, but everybody not gonna like me. That's completely fine. It's just that. Why waste my time, you know?

[Guest 1]

Whoop.

[Jean]

Have you found love since then?

[Carrie]

Yeah, I've been in a couple relationships since then, yeah. Why is that funny?

[Pat]

No, no, it's not funny because we. We asked you if you. If you found love, then you talk about a couple relationship. Yeah.

[Carrie]

Hey, bro, you find you love and then you lose it sometimes, bro. It happens.

[Jean]

Are you in a relationship now?

[Carrie]

No, no. Single.

[Pat]

Oh, y' all trying to find me

[Carrie]

some love or something?

[Jean]

I mean, I don't know how. I'm pretty sure there's a couple gay listeners that would. Are you gay or bisexual?

[Carrie]

I'm gay. And. And what? Before and y', all, you said that it might be a couple gay listeners, bro. Y', all. Listen. Y' all are one of the best podcasts.

[Jean]

Come on now.

[Carrie]

I love. I love when y' all make y' all gay jokes because you can tell.

[Pat]

Whoa, whoa, whoa. We've never.

[Carrie]

Oh, no.

[Pat]

What dumb joke did we make?

[Carrie]

Don't sit on here and play around, bro.

[Pat]

No. Oh, you talking about like. You talking about, like, the pause stuff.

[Carrie]

I mean. Yeah, stuff like it. You know what I'm saying?

[Pat]

Yeah, but we never made a gay joke like. Oh, hahaha, gay. We never did that, though.

[Carrie]

You specifically, for sure. Maybe not.

[Jean]

Come on now.

[Pat]

When have I lied, brother? When have I ever made a joke like that? Take that nigga to A movie then.

[Carrie]

I can't. I can't specifically recall, so you off the hook for now.

[Pat]

I appreciate it, bro.

[Jean]

I know you gotta be. You gotta be our new gay correspondent.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Jean]

The other been failing us.

[Carrie]

And if you. If you start talking crazy, I' ma weaponize the community against you, so.

[Jean]

No, bro, no, no.

[Pat]

I appreciate it, man. Just don't weaponize too much now.

[Carrie]

For real. For real, though, I. I with y' all super heavy. And I can tell that y'. All, Y' all ain't got no hate in your heart for nobody. Maybe. Maybe. Broke

[Jean]

musty. Yeah, yeah.

[Carrie]

Broke musty for sure.

[Pat]

Broken musty, you know what I'm saying? Broke musty with a 9 to 5. This don't make sense to me, bro. But it's cool, bro.

[Carrie]

Chill on a 9 to 5.

[Pat]

No, I with the 9 to 5. But to be broken musty with a 9 to 5. I'm saying, you got money. How you broke and musty?

[Carrie]

Oh, yeah, yeah, for sure.

[Pat]

Hygiene, you know what I'm saying?

[Carrie]

I work with a few. That's musty. And it'd be blowing my mind because we make good money, bro. You know what I'm saying? Like, I don't understand.

[Jean]

All right, bro.

[Pat]

That is our correspondent.

[Jean]

You have a good one. Happy Pride Month, bro.

[Carrie]

Hey, what you doing for Pride Month?

[Jean]

Are you doing anything different?

[Pat]

Like, during the day?

[Carrie]

I wore nothing but rainbows this whole month so far.

[Pat]

Hey, man, rep your gang.

[Jean]

Come on now.

[Carrie]

I'm lying, bro. Shut your ass up.

[Jean]

All right, bro, you have a good one.

[Carrie]

Have a good one.

[Jean]

Peace.

[Guest 1]

What's happening?

[Pat]

What's happening, brother?

[Guest 1]

Brother, man, a lot of.

[Jean]

But, yeah, we got a question for you.

[Pat]

Oh, this sent us screenshots and hold on.

[Guest 1]

Yeah, that's. I'm like, yeah, check him out.

[Pat]

All right, I got a question for you. What's something you can't believe happened?

[Guest 1]

Man, I can't believe I was spending block on my ex to figure out she was on a while I was paying for hair, earrings, nails, food.

[Pat]

Like, how long of a time were you paying for stuff, though?

[Guest 1]

I spent back in April, so I'll say, like three months, four months.

[Pat]

So how is she? How is she spending time with the other dude? Like, are you not spending every night?

[Guest 1]

That's where I'm confused at. Got a thing from morning. Like, look, morning tonight on my phone. She at work on my phone. Like, falling asleep on the phone. And I guess one day we had an argument. I'm like, you know what? Give my earrings back on some atl. And she literally was like, you know what? I can have my other. Buy me some more. I've been somebody. I'm like, you. So, Cap, you be on my phone all day. She's on, cap, send me the screenshot. I'm like, damn.

[Pat]

So she had a way.

[Jean]

So what do you. What do you think she had the time to do that.

[Guest 1]

Then it's when the message is basically, send her a screenshot of the video of them at five in the morning.

[Jean]

Oh, she sent you a game tape?

[Guest 1]

He sent her the game tape. Oh, she basically showed proof. Like, yeah, I've been doing my thing. I'm like, hold on, What?

[Pat]

But she sends a sex tape.

[Guest 1]

Not to me, but, like, the screenshot of him, I would have been hot. I ain't gonna lie. Yeah, hell no. But she. She seen a screenshot of him sending it to her, and he like, oh, yeah, we should use the meta glasses the first. And the second time, I'm just like, wait, yeah.

[Pat]

Oh, he sent you pov, bruh.

[Jean]

Oh, man.

[Pat]

What position was they in?

[Jean]

Oh, my God.

[Guest 1]

So I hate you, Pat.

[Jean]

Why. Why did y'.

[Guest 3]

All.

[Jean]

Why did y' all initially break up?

[Guest 1]

So the first time we broke up, I was dealing with other females. So I feel like this is my. Get her. Get back, but keep that shit real. Damn. Don't have me out here. You feel me?

[Pat]

Did you keep it real with her,

[Guest 1]

man? Look, it's 20, 26, man. I'm not going in the past, but.

[Pat]

Nah.

[Jean]

Did you get caught or did you, like, admit it?

[Guest 1]

I ain't getting caught. We got into an argument. I was like, well, such. Doing this and this.

[Pat]

So you did her. You did her the same way she did you,

[Carrie]

man.

[Guest 1]

When you put it like that. Yeah. No, but when it's on her, when she was on her foot. You feel me? It hurt worse to you. Thank you.

[Jean]

You can only speak from your perspective,

[Guest 1]

though, what I'm saying.

[Jean]

You can always.

[Pat]

You don't know how her. She was when you did that. Like, that could have, like, really crushed her.

[Guest 1]

That was four years ago.

[Pat]

Yeah. Like, people. People be traumatized off that.

[Jean]

Or she didn't trust you too, and they change.

[Pat]

And damn, when. When you ran it back, she probably already had a plan. She already knew what she was going to do to you.

[Guest 1]

That's what she said. Then she's like, my whole plan was to play you from the gym because you did this and this four years ago. I'm like, why not just keep it real?

[Pat]

Yeah, that's on you, though. Everybody know that rule, though. Come on, now. So any dude out there, if you ever do a girl dirty, you dumb as hell. If you go back, she about to

[Jean]

do you way dirty.

[Guest 1]

So, look, I took the L for everybody, man. Don't go back at all.

[Pat]

Not for everybody. It's other niggas taking that L with you. Y' all niggas in harmony.

[Jean]

So there was no signs you guys never spent the nights together.

[Guest 1]

So that's the thing.

[Guest 2]

Look.

[Guest 1]

So I went to her crib, and then I kissed her, and I'm like, this is a dry ass kiss. I'm like, come back and give me another one. It was the same dry ass kiss. I went to the crib.

[Pat]

She didn't have no saliva.

[Guest 1]

Fuck you, man. And then later on, she was like, yeah, I didn't want to kiss you because this. I've been doing this, this, and this. And I felt. I'm like, you could just get that a stack from the job. She said, y' all just playing the game. I wanted you to buy me this, I want you to buy me that.

[Pat]

I'm just like, wow, how much money you think you spent?

[Guest 1]

Earrings was 250. Nails, 200. Hair, 150.

[Carrie]

Too much.

[Guest 1]

Man, I ain't gonna lie to you. Because she get her hair done every other week. So it's like 200, 180, 140, depending on the style, nails, toes, food.

[Jean]

Hey, everybody has a way of get back, bro. Yeah, sound like y' all just. Y' all even now. That's just leave each other alone. Yeah. Alone.

[Guest 1]

Yeah, definitely. Yeah, she gone.

[Pat]

Nah, you need to spin it back one more time, brother.

[Jean]

Third time's the charges.

[Pat]

Equal out here looking for it.

[Guest 1]

I was in a group chat, like, I'm gonna just hit one more time. And it was like, yeah, bro, that ain't gonna happen. I'm like, watch. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it.

[Guest 3]

It.

[Guest 1]

But I don't think I should do that.

[Pat]

No, no, no, no. I don't think you should do that. No, I was just. I was just joking. I honestly think y' all should stay away from each other, because these be the two people that have babies with each other. And then now, like, this is your baby mama, and you know you never gonna be with her, and now your child gotta grow up like this. Like two people that hate each other.

[Guest 1]

Nah, that's facts. Nah, that's facts.

[Pat]

Just stay away.

[Jean]

You're in a relationship now.

[Guest 1]

Hell, no. That just happened.

[Jean]

Oh, damn. All right.

[Guest 1]

Yeah, that's what I'm like, that.

[Jean]

Just had to go heal my brother.

[Pat]

What you. What you into, bro? You in school? Like, where you at in life?

[Guest 1]

I'm 27, got my own crib. Just living life, going through.

[Pat]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Just focus on your goals, bro. You're gonna. You're gonna find one. You looking for love or you just trying to be out here dating?

[Guest 1]

Nah, love.

[Jean]

Now, I'm cool, but everybody go through the little. The little phases.

[Pat]

But how's it love when you started the. Though?

[Guest 1]

It's different when you. Because I'll basically tell it from the stomach. I'm basically being upfront. This is what I've got going on. Ain't with nobody else. We not going to pass. We living in the future. She was gassing. They're like, oh, yeah, I really want you. It's gonna be this. It's gonna be that much for sure. Let's make this work. You feel me? I'm just. Take it slow. Instead of rushing the. How long she played my ass.

[Jean]

Like, how long were y' all talking before y'. All you found out?

[Guest 1]

Like, three, four months.

[Jean]

Okay.

[Guest 1]

We started by talking, like, three or four months. Yeah.

[Pat]

I just don't get how you done with love. And you started this, like, dirt, and she gave you the dirt back. I'm just saying, at least try with a. Try purely with another woman. Before you say love, because you started with a woman who heart you broke, and that's what she knew. You probably taught her that. You probably taught her, like, you started

[Guest 1]

from, like, a losing battle.

[Pat]

Yeah, Hell, yeah. You broke her heart.

[Jean]

You broke her.

[Pat]

And then you expected her to be, like, all glitz and glamour after that.

[Jean]

And in those. In those three months that you guys are talking, did you ever talk to any other girls?

[Pat]

Yeah, I'm saying, bro.

[Guest 1]

But it wasn't like, seriously, though, because with her, it was like. But yeah, I was communicating with other females. Yeah. But it wasn't unstairs.

[Pat]

The thing about her, like, when y' all first started talking, she probably really wanted to do a second chance. And she probably saw some of the same signs that you gave her the first time you cheated because you was talking to different girls.

[Guest 2]

Girls.

[Pat]

And she probably just didn't let you know. She just started turning up the purchases like, okay, I'm about to run this pockets. I see girls do that all the time, bro. Especially when they know something about a dude. They just gonna. Hey, they gonna talk to other dudes.

[Guest 1]

She was complaining. Yeah, I wasn't answering the phone too much. I ain't wanna because like, I was doing something with other females and I wouldn't want to take her on a certain date that she wanted to go to. But I like, probably do a different day. Yeah, okay.

[Pat]

You need to just chill out up.

[Jean]

No, us. Us being your North Star is crazy, bro.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Jean]

All right. You have a good one, though.

[Guest 1]

Appreciate it. Y' all, too.

[Jean]

All right, Peace.

[Pat]

Yo, let's take a quick break from today's POD to thank the sponsor.

[Jean]

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[Carrie]

Day to day.

[Jean]

Worth checking out.

[Pat]

So think about this. If I want to watch a movie, I can pop over to my favorite streaming services and watch it or instantly rent it with one click from an online site. It's crazy, bro. We work, wait, then get paid. That's just a deal we accept. But you can get literally anything else instantly. Groceries, takeout, setting up an appointment. 5 million people have already made the switch. At this point, the old way is starting to look crazy.

[Jean]

Download earning on the App Store or the Google Play spelled like earning money without the G type in crash dummies under podcast when you sign up. It really helped the show. Mandatory disclaimers 1. Earning is a financial technology company, not a bank. 2. Access limits are based on your earnings and risk factors. Standard cash outs take one to two business days with no mandatory fees. Fees 3. Expedited transfers available for a fee. Tips are voluntary and don't affect the service. And 4. Available in select states. Terms and restrictions apply. Visit earnin.com for full details. Now back to the pod.

[Guest 3]

Your next chapter in healthcare starts at Carrington College's School of Nursing in Portland. Join us for our open house on Tuesday, January 13th. From 4 to 7pm you'll tour our campus, see live demos, need instruction doctors and learn about our Associate Degree in Nursing program that prepares you to become a registered nurse. Take the first step toward your nursing career. Save your Spot now at Carrington Edu Events. For information on program outcomes, visit Carrington. Edu Sci.

[Jean]

Welcome to Crash Dummies podcast, bro. How's it going, man?

[Guest 1]

I'm good. How are you?

[Jean]

Pretty good. Pretty good.

[Carrie]

All right.

[Pat]

I got a question for you. What's the biggest mistake you've ever made in your life?

[Guest 1]

I think that my life would be a lot better and a lot easier if I was just gay.

[Jean]

Well, be easy about it.

[Guest 1]

I think that a lot of the time we hear that it's a track, but I feel like that has proven to be untrue in my life.

[Pat]

Say that again.

[Guest 1]

I think a very common piece of advice is, like, opposite to track. And what you need in a good relationship is someone who's different from you. But I feel like my life has proven the opposite, and the best people in my life are just like me.

[Jean]

Hey, this is the month to do it, bro.

[Guest 1]

Yeah, right? Yeah.

[Pat]

And I'm thinking maybe I need to tap in.

[Guest 2]

So this is you coming out?

[Jean]

Yeah.

[Guest 1]

Yeah, I don't think I'm coming out.

[Pat]

I wouldn't say that I am gay. Okay. I'm saying that's my mistake, is that I'm not. But I. I feel like it's. It's not a choice. And it also is like, either you got the feeling for it, if you really ain't got the feeling for it, then you can't say that.

[Guest 1]

I mean, I. I don't think I'm gay, but, like, if a. If a cute enough gay guy comes, I mean, I'm.

[Guest 3]

I'm.

[Guest 1]

I mean,

[Pat]

but, like, you don't feel me.

[Jean]

It's your problem.

[Pat]

This is on you. We don't have to feel you to. For you to do this.

[Guest 1]

I just.

[Jean]

I just want to.

[Guest 1]

I just want to feel understood here.

[Jean]

No, if it makes you happy, then that's what makes you happy. We.

[Pat]

I don't think we could ever understand you. We don't. We don't know you.

[Guest 1]

That's fair.

[Jean]

So what. What's going on in your dating life now? That. What made you come to this conclusion?

[Pat]

Nothing, bro. This is the problem.

[Jean]

Okay?

[Guest 1]

It's empty.

[Pat]

But don't you. But don't you think that's, like, offensive to the community? If you saying, oh, I can't find any woman that wants me, so then I'm gonna turn gay, and then I'm automatically gonna find somebody. What if they don't want you either?

[Jean]

They'd be saying some gay guys be liking straight men, though.

[Pat]

Do you think I need a.

[Guest 1]

Is There a certain kind of straight man I have to become to attract the gay men.

[Pat]

Well, I feel like we're not the people to answer those questions.

[Jean]

We do have a lot of gay listeners, so I'm pretty sure one of them. One of them answered that in the comments.

[Pat]

We had a bi correspondent before. Yeah.

[Guest 1]

If you got some pointers for me.

[Pat]

Pointers.

[Carrie]

But.

[Jean]

Okay, so you're saying. You're saying your homeboys are the ones that make you feel like they're more like you, right?

[Guest 3]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Like, I mean, I'm not saying I'm

[Guest 1]

gonna date my homeboys, but I'm saying, like, if they were beautiful, maybe I would.

[Jean]

Yeah. You think your homeboy is ugly?

[Guest 1]

I don't think they're ugly, but they're not my type.

[Pat]

That. That's what I'm getting at. So you. So you got a type, though. So. So, like, what's your type?

[Guest 1]

Beautiful. And.

[Carrie]

And

[Pat]

I feel like there's. I feel like there's always an example, like, a celebrity example, because I. I don't. We don't know what you're talking about right now.

[Carrie]

I don't know.

[Guest 1]

I. It's hard for me to think of a suit like RuPaul.

[Pat]

If he hits my line right now, I'm not gonna leave him.

[Guest 1]

All right,

[Jean]

Bro. You have a good one, bro. I hope you find what you're looking for, bro.

[Pat]

Yeah, I hope. I hope so, too.

[Jean]

All right. Peace.

[Guest 3]

What's up? How y' all doing?

[Jean]

You really good. Yourself?

[Guest 1]

I'm good.

[Guest 3]

Happy Pride Month to whoever.

[Jean]

Happy Pride Month.

[Pat]

Happy Pride Month.

[Jean]

I got a question for you.

[Pat]

What's the worst date you ever been on?

[Guest 3]

Well, I accidentally went on a date with a girl. I didn't know it was a date at the time. She was my nail tech, and, you know, just having conversations while she was doing my nails. I would always tell her what I was doing, like, going out for the weekend, and she would say little shit like, oh, I want to go. So I kind of figured she was lonely, you know? So when one weekend I was like, we can go out to the club or something like that, I guess I was just missing signs that she was into me or whatever. So one weekend we went, like, to, like, a little hookah lounge and. And where I should have known something was up, she took me to a gay bar after the fact, like, a little drag show or something like that. And she was just, like, paying for everything. She wouldn't let me pay for anything. She wouldn't let me pay for none of the Ubers none of the drinks, none of the food, anything that we had that night. And the whole time we was at the gay club, I thought she was kind of like checking my temperature to see if I was like, I don't know, like a bigot or some shit. But basically, after the date, we went back to her house, and I was just like, okay, girl, see you later next time. Whatever. I ended up getting a flat tire as soon as I left her house. And she was just like, oh, well, you can come cuddle with me. That's when I realized, like, oh, you

[Jean]

slashed the fuck out your tires.

[Guest 3]

I don't know what she did to my. Literally, as soon I barely made it a block away from her house and my tire was flat as fuck, she was just like, oh, you can come back to my house and we can cuddle and blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, nah.

[Pat]

All she said. All she said was cuddle.

[Guest 3]

It was just. It was just weird. Like, I felt like we had a good time. Like a innocent.

[Pat]

Yeah. Real good time.

[Carrie]

Good time.

[Guest 3]

So I'm like, we wasn't dancing on each other. I was dancing with other that night.

[Pat]

Like, it's all part of the foreplay.

[Guest 3]

I mean, I ain't gonna lie. I done ate a before. I done been with a before. But, like, she was not my.

[Pat]

You're telling me.

[Guest 3]

Yeah, and I. I never told her I was, you know, into girls or nothing like that. I don't even. I don't even feel like I give that. That's what I'm on.

[Pat]

Obviously, she could tell a little bit. Maybe it was giving away a couple signs.

[Jean]

Did you know she was into girls?

[Guest 3]

No, that's the. I didn't. I didn't. I didn't know she was into girls. If I would have known she was into girls, the night probably would have made a lot more sense. But the crazier part was the next

[Guest 1]

day,

[Guest 3]

she was, like, messaging me and she was like, what you got planned for next weekend? I was like, I'm going on a date. And she was like, oh. And she just. She started getting real, real weird. And on her Snapchat, she started posting about, like, witchcraft and,

[Jean]

oh, she definitely flattened your tire.

[Guest 3]

Different spell books and, like, she just. And she would not talk to me. She literally did not talk to me after I told her I was going on a date. And I was just like, you ever

[Jean]

get your nails done by her for me? Did you ever get your nails done by her again?

[Guest 3]

Okay, So I tried to go back to her because you Know, I was just like, okay, it was a misunderstanding. I'm just not into that. She was cool, you know, I was, you know, I didn't want it to be like a weird thing or whatever. So I literally went back to her shop one day. I didn't have an appointment, but anytime I went to her was a walk in or whatever, bro. She made, she tried to make me wait for like two hours.

[Pat]

Oh, she was done.

[Guest 3]

I guess she was like, she didn't expect me to come back to her or something like that. But yeah, I still got my nails done and I tipped her well. So.

[Pat]

All right. Started up again.

[Guest 3]

She just wasn't, she was a nice girl. Like I'm not a judgy weird girl when it come to, you know, just hanging out with anybody. But she's just not my, I wouldn't put my mouth on that. I'm sorry.

[Pat]

Oh, damn. She flooding your tire with the same needle she got your voodoo doll with. You better be careful now, bro.

[Guest 3]

I literally left my car at her like down the block from her house and was like, I'll just deal with this tomorrow in the morning. Like that whole like, you want to cuddle and you want to stay here. No, I don't want to stay here. What the. I don't care how drunk I am, I'm always going to went home.

[Jean]

I feel it. That's smart.

[Pat]

I'm getting in that Uber.

[Guest 3]

I, I, I'm getting in that Uber.

[Pat]

I rather the Uber driver killed me than you.

[Guest 3]

I don't know. If I'm get touched by somebody, it'll be the Uber driver before it'll be you.

[Pat]

I'm sorry.

[Jean]

You have a good one.

[Pat]

So we did a week. Are the Amish allowed to motorboat their wife's boobies or do they have to rowboat them?

[Jean]

What do you think that the motion of rowboating would be.

[Pat]

Like? They not allowed to do that. That's electricity. That's electricity.

[Jean]

Or maybe the hand has to like the woman has to put the hand on his head and just, and move

[Mike]

it do it herself.

[Jean]

You gotta, gotta go limp.

[Pat]

She gotta twist her like.

[Jean]

What's the other thing that the other people be doing?

[Pat]

Soaking.

[Jean]

The soaking?

[Pat]

Yeah, soaking. Oh yeah, yeah. The Amish how to be getting around

[Jean]

and they winning now.

[Pat]

How they winning?

[Jean]

They're not paying $7 a gallon for gas.

[Pat]

Oh damn.

[Jean]

They got. They gotta get the horse a little hay and water and be on their way.

[Pat]

They need to up charge.

[Mike]

They winning,

[Pat]

not winning.

[Jean]

They missing.

[Pat]

They is not winning. They missing the Finals. I know one of them sneaking out to the bar, watching that, tucking his beard in and talking about nigga come

[Jean]

back home as little orange and blue confetti to fall out their pant leg.

[Pat]

Yo, what's that?

[Carrie]

My n.

[Pat]

They going through their drawers. Is this a Wimby jersey? How the you know about him?

[Jean]

Like, it's like, how do you know about Wendy?

[Pat]

Everybody know about Wiy, right, man? Yeah, we just know about Wimy. But this a cat jersey. How the you know? Oh, okay. Okay.

[Jean]

Shout out to Cat. Fan of the pod.

[Pat]

No, shout out to cat. For real. Josh Hart, he balling out. And Brunson, too.

[Jean]

Yeah, I don't know if he's a fan of the pod, though. No.

[Pat]

Brunson need to pass the ball. Keep that ball moving, man. Okay, this another topic. Tweet it says, bro, you sell 3.5s and 7s. The FBI is not worried about you. Hand me the weed.

[Jean]

I hate. I do hate overly paranoid we, man.

[Pat]

No, that's not true, bro. That sucks, bro, because it's still jail time. Like, I. I get like.

[Guest 2]

I get it.

[Jean]

You going to get a ticket, bro.

[Mike]

What you nervous for?

[Pat]

No, I get it, though. But I feel like you should still move like that, especially if you're doing something like illegal.

[Jean]

Bro, I met. I just met this bro. Like, come on now. And you showed your face, and I know your name, and I know you everything.

[Pat]

That is true.

[Mike]

Come on.

[Jean]

Why is that? To be really secretive about?

[Pat]

I could have already been an undercover cop.

[Jean]

That's why I say they don't really care about them.

[Pat]

I would love to be an undercover cop and get just. Just for that part right there. To get sold drugs by a drug

[Jean]

dealer to snitch on. No, not to put people in jail.

[Pat]

No, no, no, no. Just. Oh, man, you crazy.

[Guest 2]

Crazy.

[Jean]

Come on now, bro. Oh, you told y'.

[Pat]

All.

[Jean]

Told y'.

[Mike]

All. That's black on black.

[Jean]

Where is. Where is my guy hat at?

[Pat]

No, no, no. And then you know what's crazy is who am I putting in jail?

[Jean]

What do you mean?

[Pat]

What do you. Who are you saying I'm putting in jail?

[Jean]

I'm just saying people in general.

[Pat]

People, right? Keep it at people.

[Jean]

That's what I said.

[Pat]

Why I gotta have a MAGA hat on? Come on, now. What if I'm in the suburbs of Illinois putting young white kids in jail? Now it's a problem. Now it's a tr. Middle America. That was a tragedy. Oh, man. Somebody this for Patreon because we were talking about doing Giveaways and like that. You know, maybe give free tickets out to upcoming live show. And Pedro, I ain't gonna say his last name, but he in the patreon. Go find him. He said, man, do, like, a giveaway where y' all fly a fan out and have them on the podcast.

[Jean]

Ass.

[Pat]

And we responded. Want to get flew out now? Like, y' all want to get flew out to here? He wanted. They want us to. Yeah, Flyers. Fly them out to the podcast so they can be on the podcast. Like, the thing is, it's just like, if you were, like, a. A repeat caller and we had you on, like, four times and, like, four of your videos went viral, then it'd

[Jean]

be like, okay, not flying nobody out. You get free tickets to the show.

[Pat]

Like, we didn't meet y' all there. Like, why would we fly y' all here?

[Jean]

To do what?

[Pat]

To do what? Right?

[Mike]

You gotta show them the city people. People be sleeping Milwaukee.

[Pat]

No, they do be sleep, but, like.

[Jean]

Yeah, but I'm still not the best representative to show somebody around Milwaukee.

[Pat]

And I'm not showing a named Pedro Milwaukee link with somebody here.

[Guest 2]

Bro.

[Jean]

Someone on YouTube did say a turkey leg and a corn on the cob is diabolical. Oh, my gosh.

[Mike]

Come on. That's fair. Food, foods.

[Jean]

No, but double fisting you one turkey leg, that's crazy.

[Mike]

One corn on a cot.

[Pat]

Turkey leg and a corn on a cot.

[Mike]

You, like, you living your best life.

[Pat]

She over there eating like it's Game of Thrones or some.

[Mike]

Wait, have y' all never had, like, the elote in a cup?

[Jean]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Okay. What's wrong with that? Elote in a cup.

[Pat]

No, you said corn on the cob, though.

[Mike]

I'm changing it up.

[Pat]

Then you win. Then it's in a cup. The thing is, is, like, what we're talking about. You have handheld.

[Jean]

Yes.

[Pat]

You. You have two. Two foods touching your hand at the same time. You can't even wipe nowhere. You can't. Where the napkins at?

[Jean]

You can't wipe your mouth.

[Mike]

Napkin is around the corn on the cob.

[Jean]

Not use. So come on.

[Pat]

So now you got napkin on your corn and cob. You about to eat it. You don't know where the napkin's been.

[Guest 2]

It do sound like a disaster. Like, you try to. You see somebody, you know, then you got to, like, bump them like that, and corn fall on you.

[Jean]

Exactly. You get cor. You get, like. You get that freaking. The. The cheese on them. And then I thought it was, like,

[Pat]

cold g. You walking by, especially if you Got a turkey leg around me and I walk by you and you got that turkey leg out. I'm biting.

[Jean]

That's crazy. Let me just clip Pat saying I'm biting it.

[Pat]

It shouldn't be out. It should not be out.

[Jean]

Somebody sty on a context Pat page.

[Pat]

I'm eating that. Be up though.

[Jean]

It shouldn't be out. It's crazy.

[Pat]

No, that's too crazy. Last one. So Broncos outside linebacker Jonathan Cooper and his girlfriend Jay Feigen were both arrested after she decided to go through his phone and he decided to eat her phone.

[Jean]

He ate her phone.

[Pat]

He ate her phone.

[Jean]

What type of phone was it?

[Pat]

I don't know. And like it don't matter.

[Jean]

I mean sometimes a little. They got the little.

[Carrie]

The.

[Jean]

The iPhone that come out every other year.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Jean]

The cheaper version.

[Pat]

I'll be worried because he is an outside linebacker and I'm pretty sure he's been in the league for a minute. He's actually pretty good because I've heard his name before and he gotta have cte like to eat a phone. Ate a phone CTE and then he eating lte. Crazy, bro. That's up because like I think it

[Jean]

could be burping green bubbles. If you.

[Pat]

The Android, the NFL scout so up. They probably looking at that like, man, yeah, we got to get this five year extension. This about it.

[Mike]

I would rather him eat the phone than like hit her.

[Pat]

Yeah, that's true.

[Guest 2]

At least he ate the phone.

[Pat]

At least he ate the phone.

[Mike]

He saw some stuff.

[Pat]

He. That's. That's such a crazy statement. It's true.

[Jean]

It's true.

[Pat]

But it's just such a crazy like just to go to the scene car. What he do? I'd rather he do that than hit her.

[Mike]

I'm just saying these football players make look crazy.

[Pat]

No, they. Come on now.

[Jean]

I got a question for you. What instantly tells you someone is lying? I'll say my answer first. My answer was like when somebody's story has like zero flaws, it it then you know, like, okay, this is a perfect story. This gotta be lying. What's your.

[Guest 2]

I always question it in with the speed of their response.

[Jean]

Okay.

[Guest 2]

Whether it's too fast or too slow.

[Guest 1]

I'm.

[Jean]

I'm just so even so if somebody's response is too fast, that can tell you they might be lying.

[Guest 2]

Yeah. And what they doing to mean like their eyes.

[Jean]

I get it. Because it seems studied. It doesn't seem like you thought about it. You like almost like you knew what questions I was going to ask.

[Guest 2]

You had a ready response.

[Mike]

Yeah, I feel like if you. You answer the question with a question, that's buying time. Like, if somebody's like, are you cheating on me?

[Jean]

What would you mean?

[Carrie]

Did you go through.

[Pat]

Did you go through my phone?

[Jean]

What would you consider. What would you consider cheating? If somebody says that, what would you consider cheating? That's cheating.

[Pat]

No, if I'm in a situation like that, what I can tell somebody lying is, like, they try to divert back to a behavior that I had in the past and kind of throw me.

[Guest 2]

Me off.

[Pat]

You know what I'm saying? It's like, who is this in your phone? It's like, there you go again. You're doing that thing like, I thought we had. No, no, no, no. Who the. Is this gonna fall. I. Answer my question just like you said. Like, they don't answer questions or something like that. But the thing is, I don't really be giving a.

[Jean]

You don't?

[Carrie]

No.

[Pat]

Like, if somebody lying, like, you know how many times, especially if I'm not involved, like, you know how many times I've been listening to somebody's story and I'm just like. They're like, yeah, bro, I had this girl and that girl, and then I asked one question, but, oh, damn, how come. How come this girl ain't spend the night at your crib, bro? You won't believe this. So when we was getting into Uber, I accidentally got an Uber pool, and it was somebody else in the Uber, so I had to just go to the crib by myself. Okay, congrats.

[Jean]

No, when I know people are lying like that, I. I kind of play into it as well because I want to see how. How elaborate you can make the lies. I'm like, yeah. I'm like, damn, you went to Puta Canta Notice. Never been on the plane before versus, like, okay, this picked a place. I mean, he had this lie already. If he picks such a, like, unique

[Mike]

ass place, does that make you judge them moving forward? Are you just like, all right, now, there's some people.

[Jean]

I just don't believe anything, even if they're telling the truth. Like, it's just like, I just take everything they say with a grain of salt.

[Pat]

Yes.

[Jean]

So it's just like, like. And they're not close enough to work friends, but we're not, like, friends that we see each other every day where, like, you can really. Your life can affect my livelihood. So I just kind of let you live in because that's your reality. You want to be in your reality. That's your reality. I just had To I like that point.

[Pat]

Especially if you don't know. Because a lot of people that I don't know and my lie, like I

[Jean]

let you cook with your lies too.

[Pat]

Yes. I have a reflex.

[Jean]

It's a pack. Got a really good imagination, bro.

[Pat]

It's a reflex because it's mostly when people that I barely know or they heard about me like through a podcast, they find out a fact on the Internet that they not supposed to know or like not supposed to present and they just like, oh, you drive such and such car. And I'm like, nah, that's my other car. I usually drive a Ferrari. And just like, like, I don't like. Why the you got that information. Now I gotta give you two or three lies so you can go back to your friends like, nah, bro, he ain't got that car. Like, why are you talking about me behind my back? It's just like, I just don't like when people. People got facts about me already. So I might change that fact. So it's like people out there to be like, oh man, I heard you. I saw you picture your dad. It's like, yeah, bro, I was adopted. That's my brother. Some people think my dad, my brother.

[Jean]

I think famous birthday has something wrong about you.

[Pat]

What'd they say?

[Mike]

You're in famous birthdays. That's actually funny, bro.

[Pat]

I had to, I had to message them the first time. It was on some bro. They was trying to. I forgot what they were saying.

[Jean]

It's a birthplace. Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

[Pat]

Yeah, shout out to Milwaukee though. Shout out to Milwaukee. But I'm from, I'm from Pontiac, Michigan though. That's crazy.

[Jean]

I'm trying to see what else they said. Yeah, that was about it.

[Pat]

No, they got you on there with a backwards hat.

[Jean]

No, they don't do that.

[Pat]

I swear to God, they go in there looking like an undercover cop on

[Jean]

that backwards hat is crazy.

[Pat]

Really? Yeah. Go. Look at you. You can just go through my famous birthdays and then say, oh, it is a back.

[Jean]

That was a. That was a picture for an ad.

[Pat]

Yeah, look at that. He looks stupid as hell.

[Mike]

He looks like the dude you showed me.

[Jean]

Says mine. Says birthplace, United States. They even give me a city.

[Pat]

Damn. Don't know where that from, man. Throw that something, man.

[Jean]

It said during his podcast he has provided commentary on pop culture celebrities, including notable figures like Beyonce and Genuine. I don't think I've ever said Genuine.

[Pat]

No, you definitely talked about Genuine for a long ass time.

[Jean]

No, really?

[Pat]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Why is Diddy These dicks so little. No, I'm just playing. But you talked about dui.

[Jean]

Whoa, what was that, like, a take of yours?

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jean]

What the.

[Pat]

You talk. You talked about genuine falling off the stage. And, like, remember when he fell off the stage?

[Guest 2]

He was up there drawing.

[Pat]

You kept talking, bro.

[Jean]

I still don't think I talked about.

[Pat]

No, you was talking about that trick him just now.

[Jean]

What.

[Mike]

What just happened?

[Pat]

I don't know. What are you talking about? I don't know.

[Jean]

My Ed, I'm throwing you off. My edible just kicked in and

[Mike]

this

[Jean]

just said that out of nowhere.

[Pat]

I'm like, whoa.

[Jean]

What did I say?

[Pat]

I ain't say, bro. Y' all tweaking, y'.

[Jean]

All.

[Guest 2]

Hi.

[Jean]

No, I'm good.

[Pat]

You're good?

[Jean]

Yeah.

[Guest 3]

Okay.

[Pat]

My jean tweaking, bro.

[Jean]

What else happened? I'm trying to think about.

[Pat]

Oh, I started Love Island.

[Jean]

Oh. Oh, no.

[Mike]

What?

[Pat]

Yes, go ahead. I'm only through episode two, so we only can talk about through episodes.

[Mike]

I first need to know what made you want to start watching it.

[Pat]

My girlfriend made me want you. Yeah, she beat me. No, but I just want to talk about the concept of the new Love island. And this is how I know I'm like, un status now. Because I was getting mad that everybody was kissing each other.

[Guest 3]

I said.

[Pat]

I said, you just kiss him.

[Jean]

What the going on the back to back? I've been seeing the clips. I saw like. Like, the back to back kisses going back and forth.

[Pat]

No, they was. They was kissing a little bit too much in that.

[Mike]

That's what they do.

[Pat]

And like, one, because people send this on my twitch. I don't want to hear no dudes talking about, oh, they got women on Love island that I wouldn't even talk to. Like, you would talk to every woman on Love Island. Shut your ass up. Like, just stop saying that. I like. But I like the shows that. Not to say, like, more normal looking people, but different looks. Yeah, I appreciate that about Love Island. Like, I'm tired of, like, the same, like, model looks, chiseled face, like, petite. Like, they put in different type of bodies, faces, colors. I think is getting more like that. So that's why I appreciate through the first two episodes, just, like, the concept of it.

[Jean]

I try to watch the last season one. Which one was what? Alondra.

[Pat]

Oh, that one.

[Jean]

Yeah, I tried, but then the first episode, I started seeing them singing and doing, like, a dance choreography thing.

[Mike]

Like, the intro.

[Jean]

The intro. And I couldn't make.

[Carrie]

I couldn't.

[Jean]

I couldn't make it through it. I'm not gonna lie.

[Pat]

Can I tell you if. If y' all listen in Love island, just get straight to meeting the people the intro had the intro again for this one?

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

The intros are terrible, bro. It don't make no sense to me. The show don't start until they bring other people on the villa.

[Jean]

Okay. What's the concept of the show? How does somebody win the show?

[Mike]

You have to find love with one of the people there on the island with you. But throughout the entire season, you're going to get bomb that come into the villa and try to take you away from the person you might be coupled up with. And so the couple that lasts the longest and is at the end.

[Jean]

And do people get voted off though?

[Mike]

They do get. Some people get voted off by the audience. But I think they just started that last season. I don't think season six and the ones before that had the voting option. So now the audience and we're kind of like mixing things up. It's kind of messed up.

[Jean]

Got it.

[Pat]

No, that's crazy.

[Jean]

Crazy. Oh, man.

[Pat]

But it just becomes a. It just becomes a popularity contest after that. It'd be very hard for me not to like, like as soon as I vibe with a girl, like I'm sitting her down and just like, we could be famous. Like, we could.

[Mike]

We could be hearing those conversations. Everything's recorded.

[Pat]

But come on now we can talk. Get real close in that bed. Listen, we could be famous.

[Carrie]

Come on, girl.

[Pat]

Listen, listen. We just gonna be the couple. We just gonna be lovey dovey.

[Guest 2]

All right.

[Jean]

The thing too that. But that also is the reason why I don't really like reality shows like that as much anymore. Because people go into it knowing that they can make a name for themselves outside of the now.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jean]

So it's not like I feel like when I think about like Jersey Shore and like the old Survivors and shit like that, like, yeah, yeah. So nobody really knew you're going to be like they were just being themselves. There'd be some niggas on or a woman on those shows that that kind of like are maybe be pandering or doing something different that they wouldn't be doing in real life on those shows. Because it's like, this is going to be a good look for me and I can become a content creator basically forever off these shows.

[Mike]

So I can. I can agree with that. I also with this Love Island, I don't like that it seems like it's more Friendship island, like they're caring more about their friendships and relationships with their peers than actually finding love, which is so weird to me. But one thing that I thought was fun, that I paid more attention to this season, where the occupations of some of the islanders, I guess, because I. I don't know why I thought that maybe they would have different jobs. But one of the girls, I think her name is Trinity, she was like, yeah, I work at, like, Ace Hardware or, like, something.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Oh, wow. Like, that's so interesting to me. But, yeah, one of the dudes, I want to ask y', all, he was a police officer, and he actually quit his job to come on Love Island. Do y' all think that that's fair? Because people was cooking him online again

[Jean]

for the same reason I say he can. After the show, he can become bigger on social media than whatever his. He was getting paid as a cop.

[Pat]

Like, honestly, you just need to make it through at least half the season. And you good. There's literally, like. I've seen people who barely were on the show have, like, an uprising in followers just because they were on the show.

[Jean]

I don't even know who won the last thing. Was it the Nick?

[Mike]

No, it wasn't Nick and Oland. It was.

[Jean]

Y' all say, I don't know. Yeah, I can't even know. I don't even know how that person.

[Mike]

They're not together anymore.

[Jean]

But the Nick and the Alondra, they're still together.

[Mike]

That's neither here nor there.

[Jean]

So they. So they say whatever, but still fake. But they didn't win. But they didn't win. But they're so popular.

[Mike]

They're very. They were the popular couple. One of the popular couples. And I think they have a really great friendship. I'll say that for sure.

[Pat]

They just, like. They're too conscious of the cameras, like you said. It's just like people.

[Carrie]

People.

[Pat]

Like Love island is watched every year. There's people that grew. Like some of these people that's on Love island, they were 16, 17 when the first Love island came out. They grew up off this.

[Jean]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Back in the day, they didn't even know what show they was on because the show wasn't popular yet. So, like, by episode two, they forgot the cameras was there and they having sex, calling each other racial slurs like they don't give a damn. This scrapped out. Like, I think inviting ex girlfriends and boyfriends to the house because they sick of being in the house. Like, it was crazy.

[Jean]

I think also with this one, with these shows now, though, I do like it in the sense that some people Think it's easy. It's nice to see that some people are getting called out for who they really might be and, and their true character. Because I think to some people in the real world, when you kind of have. Yes. People around you or people that agree with you and think like, like you. You think like everything you're saying is right or, you know, morally right or just like, factual. But when you kind of get on a show when you're surrounded by millions of people watching as well, you start talking the same way. Then it's like, oh, I'm the delusional one. So that's the other thing I do.

[Mike]

Like, did you get caught out on your.

[Jean]

Yeah, because some people are so, like, oblivious to themselves.

[Mike]

But on the flip side, too, like, for example, I don't know if y' all know who Huda is from.

[Jean]

Yeah, I saw that.

[Pat]

I've been seeing her.

[Jean]

I saw her run through that garage.

[Pat]

Yeah, I seen her. But they, they show some other clips.

[Jean]

I don't even know the context of anything I just said ex baby mom going through the garage. I had no contact. Some crazy.

[Pat]

She went through her ex's baby mama's garage to see if his car was parked there.

[Guest 1]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And then they showed another clip of her waking somebody up out of their cold sleep to tell him, like, somebody left to, like, the villa or some shit. She like, you know, they went to the villa.

[Jean]

I didn't know she had a kid.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Jean]

The other thing I also saw was before, for. For her. I always see bad about her for some reason when she was. I think when somebody on Tick Tock Live or some live thing about the Alondra again, I feel like I've said her names way too many times this episode.

[Pat]

Who said the N word about it?

[Mike]

It was like a caller.

[Jean]

And then she did start laughing at it. I didn't even know the dude's name in it.

[Pat]

Yeah, but what was you about to

[Mike]

say about Huda about her and why. Why you keep seeing negative stuff about her? She kind of was real crazy up in that villa. I'm not going to lie to you. But it seems like her fan base. Base still embraced her and allowed for her crazy behavior. So I think on one hand, you do have people who might be able to tell you who you really are. Like, oh, now you tripping. You shouldn't act like that. But then on the other hand, if you got some fans, some fans out there, they are going to ride for you whether you are right or wrong. And I think that's the type of fan base that like Huda has right now where they just going to go hard for her regardless.

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah, she, yeah, she, she got it out there. She got some good press right now. It's like there's no such thing as bad press. And like this new streamer slash reality show TV world, it's about like how many views you can curate and you can damn near change the way people look at you in real time after you get like the negative views. That's where, that's where we at with it now. As long as you don't do something that's permanently banned. You know what I'm saying? Like a Nicki Minaj or something.

[Mike]

Oh wow. Free Nicki.

[Jean]

Whatever spell she's under. Anyway, that's been the episode. Appreciate y'.

[Guest 1]

All.

[Jean]

Anybody else going on? If you're in Sweden, holla at me.

[Pat]

Yeah, every anybody he look, he in Sweden looking for a sweet man. Well, what's that?

[Guest 2]

Bar?

[Jean]

I mean come on bro.

[Pat]

Sweden. He said. What you else you said about Sweden? What'd you say about the people over

[Jean]

there that's been crashing episode two? Whatever.

[Pat]

Listen sweet. I wouldn't trust him. And he said something about y' all fish. Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile with a message for everyone paying big wireless way too much.

[Guest 2]

Please, for the love of everything good

[Pat]

in this world, stop with Mint. You can get premium wireless for just $15 a month. Of course, if you enjoy overpaying.

[Guest 2]

No judgments.

[Pat]

But that's weird. Okay, one judgment Anyway, give it a [e-mail] Switch upfront payment of $45 for

[Guest 3]

3 month plan equivalent to $15 per month required intro rate first 3 months only, then full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra. See full [e-mail]

[Pat]

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[Mike]

Are you one of those media strategy people clicking through slides scrolling spreadsheets?

[Guest 3]

Yes.

[Mike]

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