No Seasoning - Episode 246

Summary

Crash Dummies Podcast (Pat & Mike)

Episode 246: "No Seasoning"
Release Date: February 18, 2026

Main Theme

In this lively, humor-filled episode, hosts Patrick Johnson and Michael Esiobu riff on everything from the aftermath of Valentine’s Day and NBA All-Star events to relationship norms, social media dynamics, and listener calls about pet peeves and personal confessions. The show is marked by their spontaneous banter and playful “call-in” segments where listeners join the pod to air their grievances and hot takes. The tone is casual, candid, and peppered with inside jokes, cultural commentary, and some unfiltered moments.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Opening Banter: Tour Announcements & Parasociality

• [01:09] Pat and Mike launch into a discussion about the increased parasocial engagement with listeners, mentioning they appreciate pod-based discussions but push back against fans DMing about private matters not discussed on the show.
  • Notable quote:
    • "If I didn't talk about it on the pod... don't DM me." — Mike ([01:09])
• Recap of last episode’s Valentine’s Day arguments; listeners slid into both hosts’ DMs with their own hot takes and misinterpretations about gifts and relationship expectations.
• Reflection on romantic gestures, with both in agreement: do what works in your relationship, not what’s dictated by others.

2. Valentine's Day & Relationship Philosophies

• [02:24]–[04:39] Storytelling around Valentine’s: extravagant gifts, unique situations (e.g., friend whose girl's birthday is on Valentine’s), and the pitfalls of mixing significant events (proposing at someone’s wedding or on their birthday).
• "You give her her day. You don't propose on her birthday or graduation." — Pat ([04:09])
• Discussion on why people want attention: outside of weddings and funerals, for most people, “the room full of everyone who cheers you on” doesn’t happen—so people chase those moments elsewhere.

3. High School Fights & Social Rituals

• [06:00]–[07:44] Hilarious nostalgia about orchestrated high school fights, group excitement, judging the contenders’ chances, and the anticlimax when fights don’t happen. Observation on how girl fights were more intense and persistent, noting that girls "stay fighting even with police around."
  • "Once they on go, they on go." — Mike ([07:02])

4. NBA All-Star Weekend & Culture

• [09:19]–[14:21]
  • Riff on the pointlessness of the NBA All-Star Game and dunk contest in the modern era. Players lack serious competitive incentive due to high salaries; the event feels unoriginal with repeated dunk ideas, lacking star power and creativity.
  • Discussion of how “mystique” makes athletes seem better—people imagine higher athletic feats when unknown, supporting John Morant and Lamar Jackson as examples.
  • [12:14] "2016 was the best year: for music, and for that dunk contest with Aaron Gordon and Zach LaVine." — Pat

5. The Super Bowl & Halftime Show Reactions

• [15:05]–[17:10]
  • Roundtable on the lackluster Super Bowl ("not even a game") and the impact of repeated jerseys and missing star power.
  • Discussion of Bad Bunny’s halftime show and "coded racism" embedded in language around not understanding the performance.
    • "That's coded, like, racism... as soon as it messed with your Super Bowl." — Pat ([17:24])
  • Pop culture tangent: “Baddies” TV show and the spectacle of violence as entertainment.

6. Burner Accounts & Online Identity

• [21:38]–[22:56]
  • Pat and Mike revisit the alleged leak of Kevin Durant’s burner, launch into a wider discussion: Should social media require real identities or allow anonymity?
    • Pat: “People should at least have a profile photo and age so we know what we’re dealing with.”
  • Debate on how anonymity breeds both humor and toxicity online.

7. Relationship Dynamics: Money, Sleep, & Power

• [23:32]–[32:50]
  • Segment on what beliefs about relationships changed over time; Pat used to think couples “should never go to bed angry,” but now appreciates the value of sleeping it off. Humor around angry cuddles and morning forgiveness.
    • "Sleep is the thing that saves relationships." — Pat ([23:41])
  • Dive into insecurities that can arise when a partner earns significantly more. Mike paints a scenario: being out of place among "Ferraris" or fancy purchases. Both hosts agree actual respect and healthy boundaries matter more than income disparity.
    • "Never stop doing your thing... don't just give up your path; that's toxic." — Mike ([28:07])
  • Conversation with a guest (F) about single dads, “favorite” ex-stepmoms, and the unique way family dynamics shape attitudes.

8. Listener Call-Ins: ‘Love to Hate’ Confessions

Each call-in starts with the question: "What's something you love to hate?"—leading to a parade of funny, candid, and occasionally wild responses.

• Examples:
  • [45:19]—Listener H (white, self-described “flavorful white guy”): “Basic ass white people. Ain’t got no seasoning, no flavor.” Describes picking up “flavor” from his (now ex-) baby mama and fails a “relatability test” with humorous results.
  • [57:34]—Listener D: "Hobo Johnson. I’m a certified hater... I used to offer customers discounts if they blocked him on Spotify." His irrational but passionate hate is played for laughs.
  • [62:22]—Listener E: After sharing a story about a friend sleeping with his ex (twice), he deadpans “You should be able to take your homeboy out if he gets with your girl.”
  • [68:06]—Listener I confesses to clogging a toilet on a first date and leaving without telling the woman. “There’s no way she could blame anyone else but me—and I’m not going back.”

9. Hot-take Roundtable: Business Ideas, Friend Honesty, Rebounds

• [71:03] Pat and Mike debate whether they’d rather be a rebound or a sneaky link (leaning toward “rebound” for safety and less drama).
• [72:44] Would you tell a friend if their business idea is trash? Both land on: yes, for close friends—but more nuanced for others, and always avoid crushing a dream outright.

10. Tweets of the Week & Therapy Chat

• [76:42]–[80:14] Rapid-fire tweets and reactions, covering therapy awkwardness, work questions, and the strange way people judge others by their job or wealth.
  • "Told my therapist a joke. She sighed and started taking notes. I think she's trying to steal my joke." — [76:42]
  • "I'm both dumber and smarter than you think. Don't estimate me." — [78:28]
• Relatable banter about therapists and how to “find your fit,” especially around culture and trust.

11. Pronouns & Social Sensitivity

• [83:47]–[87:55] Pat and Mike reflect on respecting people’s pronouns and names, fumbling through their own stories of getting it wrong and the importance of “just being nice about it.”

---

Memorable Quotes

"If I didn't talk about it on the pod... don't DM me."
— Mike ([01:09])

"Sleep is the thing that saves relationships."
— Pat ([23:41])

"Never stop doing your thing... don't just give up your path; that's toxic."
— Mike ([28:07])

"Basic ass white people. Ain’t got no seasoning, no flavor."
— H (caller) ([45:19])

"I used to offer customers discounts if they blocked Hobo Johnson on Spotify."
— G (caller) ([58:49])

"You should be able to take your homeboy out if he gets with your girl."
— E (caller) ([63:22])

"There’s no way she could blame anyone else but me—and I’m not going back."
— I (caller, after the clogged toilet incident) ([68:48])

---

Important Segment Timestamps

• [01:09] – Social media boundaries & parasocial etiquette
• [02:24] – Valentine's Day expectations discussion
• [04:39] – Proposals at weddings/birthdays
• [07:02] – Girl fights in high school: never backing down
• [09:19] – NBA All-Star & dunk contest gripes
• [15:05] – Super Bowl & Bad Bunny halftime reactions
• [21:38] – Burner accounts & social media identity
• [23:41] – Pat: “Sleep is the thing that saves relationships.”
• [32:50] – On partners making more money and respect
• [45:19] – Listener H: “Basic white people, no seasoning”
• [57:34] – Listener D’s “Hobo Johnson” vendetta
• [68:06] – Confession: First date, toilet disaster
• [76:42] – Tweet of the week: Therapy notes
• [83:47] – Pronouns and navigating sensitivity

---

Tone & Style

• Fast-paced and unscripted, rooted in genuine chemistry and playful ribbing between Pat, Mike, their recurring guest Gene, and a variety of call-in listeners.
• Humor is direct, sometimes raunchy, with a feel of honest barbershop conversation.
• The hosts are self-aware, calling out their own biases, occasional ignorance, and striving to both entertain and lightly challenge their audience.

---

For New Listeners

If you’re new to Crash Dummies, this episode showcases the spontaneous, community-driven nature of the show. Pat and Mike blend quick-witted responses to trending events, relatable relationship debates, and real, often hilarious, audience stories. The conversation can get NSFW and raw but is always packed with heart and authenticity. The segment where listeners “call in” to “love to hate” on everything from celebrities to bad friends is a recurring highlight of the pod.

---

Skip to:

• [09:19–14:21] for NBA All-Star talk
• [15:05–17:10] for Super Bowl & halftime show opinions
• [45:19, 57:34, 63:22, 68:06] for the funniest listener call-ins
• [76:42–80:14] for Tweet of the Week reflections

---

Closing Note:
Pat & Mike wrap up reminding fans to get their live show tickets, support the merch, and bring snacks to the road shows—but nothing unwrapped, please!

---

Episode Title Reference:
The phrase "No Seasoning" nods to the running joke about blandness in both food culture and personality—riffed on during a white caller’s segment, emblematic of Crash Dummies’ love for inside gags and irreverent humor.

Transcript

[A]

Yo, welcome to Crafts Dummies episode 246. We are doing a hot open today. We have tours in Indiana and St. Louis next week, actually February 24th and February 25th. Crashdummieslive.com we also going to Portland, Atlanta, Nashville, Birmingham, Baltimore, Philly, New York, Boston and Charlotte. And then obviously our la, Texas, Florida people or Cali people. Relax, we'll be there. Just let this. Let this first leg kind of go and we'll be in. In those states also. Merch is out. Some of you guys already bought merch. Shout out to y'. All. Merch is out. Crash Dummies merch.com. you can find everything@crash dummies.com as well. But Crash Dummies merch.com to get the merch. What else we got?

[B]

There it is. That's the pie.

[A]

That's it.

[B]

No, we appreciate y' all listening, you know.

[A]

Oh, yeah, I forgot. Subscribe to the Patreon as well. Now we can end.

[B]

Did you tell them to subscribe to YouTube too?

[A]

Oh, subscribe to YouTube as well.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, we can. Like, what do we just did that.

[A]

Also like how we fit that many ads in there.

[B]

Exactly. Matter of fact, here's the earning. I don't even know who the ads is. A whole different.

[A]

I don't think it is.

[B]

But I just. Y' all gotta chill, bro. The I. I get that we're kind of like in the parasocial realm right now. The era, I should say. And it's dope to go back and forth with some of you about pod topics, but, like, if I didn't talk about it on the pot, bitch, nigga, don't DM me. Like, what is we talking about? If I talk about it on the pot, is fair game. Like, you want to talk to me about, like, the Valentine's Day argument we had last episode or relationship. Something we talk. But if it's something we didn't talk about on a pod and it's something you seen on my story, Shut the fuck up, please. I'm not responding to that.

[A]

They were in my DMs, too. About the Valentine's Day thing. I think some people have, like, very hard time, like, comprehending things what people say because they think they are saying that. I was saying we. You don't have to, right? I never said. Oh, just think. I say you. You shouldn't. I'm saying you don't have to. It's not a requirement or whatever. Works for your relationship. You do for your relationship.

[B]

How about that you know, what end up happening.

[A]

What?

[B]

What?

[C]

I asked it a day before Valentine's Day, what happened? Because she was still, like, a little sour, you know, she was like. I told her, we gonna do something, you know, whatever. And then I asked her and she just, like, brightened up.

[A]

See? Hey, that. That works for you. Yes.

[C]

As soon as I asked her, she's just better.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I had a great day, too. And I didn't have to.

[B]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I actually learned my lesson. I learned. I learned my lesson because I was so adamant on making sure that, you know, that you're supposed to ask someone to be their Valentine before Valentine. I'm like, this how you do it? This is how you got to do it? And then I was going through our story, like my story on Instagram, and our friend Brandon.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Got his girl some Louis Vuitton for Valentine's.

[A]

That's what I'm saying.

[B]

Maybe everybody do need to mind their business, you know, I got my.

[A]

I got my girl some Margiela jeans. Those are. Those are nice jeans. Like, those are like those. I got flowers. I got a puzzle.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because she likes doing puzzles.

[B]

Everybody do it differently. Because you got some people out here that's romantic, and they're shitty people. And they shitty people. And they bring the girl to the hotel room with the flower petals. Ain't not a gift in sight. It just mini Snickers all over the bed.

[A]

The.

[B]

Many Snickers and rose petals that he split with his man's. You take these half the rose petals. I take these half.

[A]

I'm jealous of one of my friends, actually. His girl's birthday is on Valentine's Day. Oh, my gosh.

[B]

I'm like, brother, that's tough.

[A]

That's one gift.

[B]

Yeah, that's what. That's what you fellas make your anniversary Valentine.

[A]

Come on now. Come on now. I did.

[B]

Like, you gotta think ahead. Only a real smart man would do.

[A]

I've asked people to be like, to get in relationships, like the day after or before their birthday type of shit, too.

[B]

No, that's crazy. That's selfish. You can't. That's. That is a rule. I want that. That doing shit on a. On a woman's birthday. As a man, why you don't do that? Like, you don't propose to a woman on her birthday or her graduation. I'll be.

[A]

You give her. You give her day.

[B]

More of a no propose to her on her birthday.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

No, that's crazy.

[A]

Now you get your own gift too.

[B]

No, that's so crazy. That's so craz. Will watch a girl walk across the stage after six years of school and be like, yeah, it is time to get engaged.

[A]

Some people do that, though. So what is your opinion about. About people proposing at other people's weddings?

[B]

I think that trash. Unless the. The bride. The bride only endorses it if the bride fully endorses it. Like. No, I want you to do it at my wedding because I want this moment to be had in my wedding. Because some people.

[A]

It's not usually how it is, though.

[B]

No, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah, that's usually how it is. No, some people do it just because it's like, it's a wedding.

[A]

I think that it might be like, one of those things. It's like, I know you, me and you, we're best friends, right? If I said, pat, let me propose to my girl at your wedding, I'm just saying. But why would I even bring that up? Because I know you might say yes. You know, like, that I'm putting you in a weird predicament, especially with girls and stuff like that. They start beef over that. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, exactly. It's just like. I think it's like, because I think a lot of people won't have attention on them for the rest of their life until they funeral. Just think. Just think about it, like, if we weren't podcasting, when is the next time you will have a people room full of people that you love that's cheering you on?

[A]

A wedding.

[B]

A wedding. That's it. So that's it for some people. And then you.

[A]

Or a boxing fight or you doing.

[B]

That's what I'm saying. But I'm just saying that's like outlier shit, you know what I'm saying? I'm talking about a regular person or street fight. Nine to five, Corporate.

[A]

Hey, hey, F. I'm about to beat this dude's ass down the block real quick. Invite everybody.

[B]

No, that's crazy. That's crazy.

[A]

He bringing his. I'm bringing my too.

[B]

No, that's crazy.

[D]

I'm.

[B]

I'm never showing up to a fight.

[A]

When. When was the last time that even happened? Like, high school.

[B]

Yeah, I'm at this point, like, I'm too grown to be like, I'm not getting out the car. At least. Like, I'mma pull up in my car and if you lose it, I'm running both of y' all over. Hey, my. You was too close to him. You wouldn't let him go.

[A]

That used to be kind of fellas. That used to be kind of lit, though, like in high school, when you knew there was going to be a fight, like two people, like, agreed. You know, about to fight after school, and you kind of start looking at everybody's demeanor throughout the day and like that. Like, some days I'd be like, oh, my. My friend Joe, he gonna win, right? And then I started looking at Marcus. I'm like, oh, Marcus. Like during gym class, he was going crazy. He might not have that much energy, you know, so you can start judging people throughout the day about the fights and like that. What. What sucks is when the fight doesn't happen. When, like, start kicking it out towards the end, it's like, bro, y' all got us hyped for no reason.

[B]

No, that it was a fight every day at my school. Yeah, like, I mean, like three, four a day.

[A]

Mine was like, every day as well. A lot of girl fights, though.

[B]

No, girls. Girls. I would say, I would say. I would say. As I've seen men who are damn near about to kill each other, like, legit, got knives out, trying to stab each other, and the police show up and both men drop their knives and they go. They separate ways. Cuz neither one, nobody want to go to jail. I've seen women fight while a police officer is trying to break them up. The police officer like, no, don't fight. And they still swinging on each other. Like, once they on go, they on go. Like, they literally on go, bro. Anywh who. Speaking of ongoing, KD burner account just got leaked. Allegedly.

[A]

Is that his burner account?

[B]

They saying that's his burner account.

[A]

What was. What was he saying? It was just like others, I think once he already admitted that he had a burner account, like, that's what makes it a lot more believable.

[B]

He's already been caught with a burner account.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Before. Officially.

[A]

Yeah. And he admitted that.

[B]

And he admitted that he has a burner account. And I'm sure, like, nobody's going to bully Kevin Durant of having a burner account, but I think it just gets weird when it's kind of like the young thug thing. It's just like, it gets weird when you talk about your peers, because I feel like everybody talks about their peers at some point and then. And if you. I think a lot of people don't think that they're talked about behind closed doors, behind their back also. And I think a lot of people have that in their head. So, like, when somebody says something about you, it's always Gonna hurt your feelings no matter what. Right? Your brothers have conversations about you. Like they've literally called you a bitch ass nigga before.

[A]

No, I don't think.

[B]

Not just, just, just off. Just like. I'm just saying that's a, That's a harsh example. But they literally said something about you where if you. Out of context, where if you heard it, you'd be like, I don't fuck with you no more.

[A]

I think it would hurt less though, with my, my brothers because we just talk shit to each other. So it's like not just saying. But if it's like somebody like I'm.

[B]

Saying behind your back though, it's just different.

[A]

I think my brothers are a poor example for this one. If I get what you mean by.

[B]

Just a just example if it's. It's a podcast.

[A]

No, I'm just saying because it's. Imagine that. Because I don't, I don't. I won't have that same emotion. If my brothers were talking behind my back in a sense, then rather than like maybe somebody that I'm close with on the. The Unfinished Legacy side, if I find out they were talking behind my back and we don't talk like that to each other anyway, then it's like, okay, that kind of like I thought we.

[B]

Were like, I would expect that more though. What if it's somebody that I don't talk to? I feel like the more you don't talk to people, the more that they would talk to you behind your back because they don't get to talk to you. They don't get the release that.

[A]

I guess it's a type of conversations like we didn't talk to each. Then like I found out you're talking behind my back or some shit that you wouldn't say to me like something like that. There's some things I say to people there I would say to you in a sense too.

[B]

It's like, like, it's not much I wouldn't say to somebody's face.

[A]

Yes, exactly.

[B]

It would have to be. I'm not going to lie. It's going to sound crazy. It would have to be like a woman.

[A]

It is more.

[B]

Yeah, like a guy. Like. Like I say that in front of your face, but like a woman. There's some certain things where I was like, man, I really don't. With her, but I'm never going to tell her that because it's like, what's the point of telling? That's the dumbest thing.

[A]

I just get into an argument for no reason. That you can't end. I'mma call my sister. I swear to God.

[B]

My sister going to fly up here and you up. Stay right there.

[A]

Is it. Is it time to end the NBA dub contest?

[B]

It's time to end NBA All Star Weekend, bro.

[A]

Oh, the All Star Game hasn't happened yet.

[B]

So yeah, everything. It's time to end everything. But I like the NBA All Star Game. Matter of fact, let me. Let me reneg on that statement. The All Star Game can't happen. That's over. People blowing that out of proportion.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like they saying like it's uncompetitive. Yes, uncompetitive. If another team is up 30, the other team's not going to try to come. Yeah, it's just like. It's just too much freelance and it's.

[A]

Just way more money than the niggas they're making back in the day.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

Lose over All Star Game.

[B]

And usually the people that are All Stars make the most money in the league. The NBA is not going to have any incentive that really drives them. Unless they'd be like a million to each player or some shit like these dudes not doing nothing.

[A]

Don't contest though.

[B]

The dunk contest. I see Mac McClunk stop posting dunk videos during Black History Month. Nigga.

[A]

No, don't do that.

[B]

Stop doing that shit, bro. Come on, man. No.

[A]

They hated on my boy. Huh? He said they hated on him.

[B]

I don't know why they didn't let him compete.

[A]

He would have wanted to get. And I get. I get that part.

[B]

Dunks he posted.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

My lord.

[A]

Some of them were crazy.

[B]

I mean he would have won it obviously.

[A]

Yeah, but Jackson Hayes, bro. Count your days, bro.

[B]

That's crazy. I don't know what the.

[A]

Not. Not like literally. Not literally like hope you live a long prosperous life and have a great NBA.

[B]

Unless he dunk like that.

[A]

That was crazy. In game. Dunk. That probably wouldn't even look like it was like a crazy dunk even in game. No, he's crazy.

[B]

He a funny dude. He trolling on the Internet this morning. He had like a side by side picture of him and Jordan doing.

[A]

Nah, that's crazy. And the other dude that won that was like dugging this like it just one. I think one. We are in an Internet age. So it's like one. It's like a lot of the dunks have been done before and I think people are afraid to take risk.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's why I say 2016 was the best year. Another for music and that dunk Contest with Aaron Gordon and Zach Levine was in 2016.

[B]

I get where the NBA is coming from on that standpoint, though. When you. When you do stuff like that, you got to create new stars.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And Mack McClung not playing in the fucking NBA. It's just like, okay, our dunk contest champion doesn't play on a nightly basis. Let's get somebody that actually fucking plays or might get in the game so we can clip farm off him. We can't clip farm because every time I see a G league clip, I don't give a. I'm not gonna lie. If I see a G league dude drop 55 points, 11 assists, I'm like, so what? I just did that at the Wisconsin Athletic Club earlier today.

[A]

So what do you think? What do you think is lacking, though? Is it like, the one is obviously the star power, right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And what do you think you have to do to get the star players to, like, actually participate?

[B]

I don't think the star players will ever participate. You see what happened with Jalen Brown. They just gonna turn on you. I don't. I just think it's just a. It's a lose, lose thing. There's too many dunks on the Internet. There's a lot of dunks it up. Dunking. Yeah.

[A]

I think what should happen is like, all these professional dunkers, Right. That you be seeing and stuff like that. I think they should have somebody consult, like, on a team to consult with them. Like, just like, different tricks to try. Because I think sometimes they might be lacking, like, the creativity to do it. They have the athleticism to do it. Right.

[B]

Okay. You think. You think a. That dunked for a living can consult anybody, man out of here?

[A]

No, no. I'm just.

[B]

Look on my face.

[A]

I'm pretty sure that's not all they do to make money. No, but real talk, though, I think just from like, the. The creativity standpoint, it's just like, just try this, then try that, try that, and then try. You know what I'm saying?

[B]

I. I would say the dunk that. That they were attempting, like, every dunk that was.

[A]

Who was the. That almost died?

[B]

Jace Richardson.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

But he posted the dunk after, like, him completing it in practice, and it looked pretty smooth. So I would just say, like, all the dunks that I saw were, like, great for the attempt. It just like they took off too early or too late or just look stupid.

[A]

I think it was actually being like, put it between his legs from the damn near the free throw line. That's like the free Throw line. If you're not dunking, like, at least a whole foot behind a free throw line, then it's like there's no point of attempting the free throw line.

[B]

I just believe. I just believe that all that people like to live mysteriously because the more mysterious you are as an athlete, the better people think you are. Like. Like Tyreek Hill, Lamar Jackson, those people never being timed in the 40 makes us think, like, they have a faster 40. But if Lamar Jackson lined up for a 40, filmed it and ran a 4:2:9, people be like, yeah, he kind of. He's slower than I thought. Yeah, I thought he was 4:1, you know what I'm saying? It's like the mysteriousness of being a better athlete than, you know. That's why I feel like nobody want to do a dunk contest. Because John Morant, yeah, he'd be jumping out the gym, and he a crazy dunker, but, like, he'd be doing some regular ass dunks, you know what I'm saying? Like, for as far as dunk contest is worthy, I feel like creativity and dunking, that's like two different things.

[A]

And what'd you think about the Super Bowl, Gene?

[B]

Oh, yeah, I forgot about the Super Bowl. Oh, yeah, you are. As our Puerto Rican consultant, what do you think?

[A]

I forgot the other camera. So G's not on camera today.

[B]

He's looking very Puerto Rican today.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

All I did was watch the halftime show.

[B]

Okay. True Puerto Rican fashion.

[C]

And then, you know, it was Sunday, so, you know, my girl wanted to turn on baddies.

[B]

Oh, is that when baddies drop?

[A]

Baddie drop.

[C]

Sundays.

[B]

Sundays.

[A]

Baddies club. Is that what it's called? Or just baddies? Is that the one on Zeus?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't think I've ever turned on Zeus yet.

[B]

No, I would never.

[A]

I'm.

[B]

Listen, you know, shout out to Zeus network, y' all, make y' all money and stuff like that. That will never be played in my household.

[C]

It is bad, though. I gotta. We gotta stop watching that. I just seen, like, a video of some kids, like, beating on each other again. And it was. I'm just like. Like, damn, it's just bad.

[A]

Like, how do we get on Baddy's Club from the Super Bowl?

[B]

Because Jean turned it on Sunday. But shout out to the Super Bowl. The super bowl was boring, as. That's why. Yeah, the super bowl was. No, when I tell you it wasn't even a game. Like, yes, the game was, like a defensive type of game. I get it. But it's just the jerseys, the Fact that we seen those jerseys in the super bowl before just did something to.

[A]

Me, you know what I mean?

[B]

Just like, it brought back so many memories. Like, I've seen these jerseys before. I've seen this type of game before.

[A]

It like star power as well.

[B]

Star power to white quarterbacks, man, turn this, man.

[A]

I was like, I watched the halftime show. Obviously, I was a little scared at the beginning of the Bad Bunny performance because for some reason the audio sounded off. I was like, please don't let these racist people win, please. And then it got better. I enjoyed the, the. The performance and it had like a good messaging too.

[B]

Oh, yeah, I forgot what was they watching was Turning Point USA had the, had they own halftime show. But the thing, every time I saw somebody on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram say, oh, the halftime show was whack, I couldn't understand something. And I'm like, bro, you not a real racist. You a weak ass racist person. Like, I can't stand the person that's racist, and they not a good racist. Like, yeah, you wasn't supposed to see the show. You're supposed to be on Turning Point usa.

[A]

I hear what people say. I saw a lot of people, like, countering the argument arguments. Like, y' all dance to the Macarena though, right?

[B]

Yeah, the Macarena.

[A]

Cool.

[B]

Everything else good in a different language. But as soon as it, it messed with your Super Bowl, I feel like.

[A]

That'S coded like racism when people say that sometimes. Like, I didn't understand it. Especially in that situation where you knew you already knew you weren't gonna understand it, and then you're gonna say, I don't understand. I didn't understand nothing he was saying either.

[B]

Yeah, man, who cares? They just want us to. We listen to that weak ass country music.

[A]

Music. The commercials didn't hit it the same. There's one commercial, though. There was a, A prostate exam commercial. And they use tight ends, all these tight ends to, you know, promote it. So it's like Jason Kelsey. I said Jason Kelsey. Oh, there's Jason Kelsey.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Travis Kelsey, George Kittle, maybe George Kittle was in there with Gonzalez.

[B]

Oh, Tony Gonzalez.

[A]

Yeah, Tony.

[B]

I didn't see any commercials.

[C]

Why?

[A]

Because it's like, it was, I guess it was saying that you'd also. You know, people think when you have prostate exams, you always have to go up, up your butt. But they were trying to say there's another way now that you don't. You don't have to like, because. So they were clenching their cheeks or the Titans, the position Right? Yeah. And they were all clenching their cheeks and then once they said, you also, you know, you don't have to be an anal exam anymore, right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So then they cheeks relaxed at the end of the commercial.

[B]

That's a nice. I didn't see that commercial.

[A]

I'm pretty sure I was watching this at the Super Bow. Go get your prostate checks if y' all over 40.

[B]

That said, why is Travis Kelce naked right now? Yo, let's take a quick break from today's POD to thank the sponsor of the episode. God, fellas, let's be real. Buy a man's jewelry used to be a nightmare, right? It was low quality junk that snapped out there every week or is like insanely overpriced with ridiculous markups.

[A]

That's why I rock with gld. They've changed the game. You're getting a quality piece that are built to last without breaking the bank. And unlike any other company, GLD only uses real gold. None of that cheap stuff. Every single stone is meticulously handset. Plus their proprietary production process makes sure you're getting the highest quality jewelry possible. You can literally see and feel the difference.

[B]

GLD offers every price point from entry level 18k gold plated while also offering every piece and additional materials such as solid gold or natural diamonds. So you can find what you're looking for at any price point. God can create fully custom pieces. This if you got the design in mind. GLD's custom shop will bring it to life.

[A]

You know the feeling you get when you put on a new chain. It just hits different. It elevates your whole fit. The confidence, the compliments, the way you carry yourself, all change instantly. And GLD has everything. Chains, pendants, rings, earrings, even fully iced out watches. Whatever your style, they've got it. And listen, just don't take our word for it. Over 2 million customers and 50,0005 star reviews back it up. Not to mention it's worn by the biggest names out there like Justin Bieber, Micah Parsons, Tyree Kill, Malik, Neighbors, asap, Rocky, and a ton more.

[B]

You want to know the best part? Every single piece is guaranteed for life. It's literally built to last for the rest of your life. Work hard and change the game. For a limited time only, new customers are getting an insane deal. Use code crash to get 50 [e-mail].

[A]

That'S 50 with the code crash gld.com after you purchase, they'll ask you where you heard about them. Please, please support our show and tell them that we sent you now back to the pod.

[B]

Yo. Let's take a quick break to thank the sponsor of today's episode, Ridge Wallets. I'm not going to lie. Last time that I was at a club, I had to pull out my wallet and take out my id and I was so embarrassed because everybody saw how bulky my wallet was and I'm like, bro, I got to get a slimmer wallet. So shout out to Ridge Wallets for making those transactions way better.

[A]

And Ridge has a unique, slim modern design that holds up to 12 cars plus cash. Made with premium material like aluminum, titanium and carbon fiber. With over 50, 50 plus colors and styles to choose from, all Ridge products have a lifetime warranty and RFID blocking technology keeping you safe from digital pickpocketers.

[B]

Losing your wallet has to be one of the worst things. But with the Ridge airtag attachment, you'll always know exactly where it is before panic mode even kicks in. They also create premium everyday carry essentials like key cases, suitcases and rings, all built with the same sleek, durable design. For a limited time, our listeners get 10% off at Ridge by using Code crash at checkout. Just head to ridge.com and use code crash and you're all set.

[A]

That's crashridge.com. after you purchase, they'll ask you where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them that we sent you. Now back to the pod.

[B]

Shannon Sharp. Okay, going back to the KD burner thing allegedly because I don't want him like looking at this pod saying I don't want the information to come out that it wasn't his burner account or whatever. But do you think people should have burner accounts or do you think people should have to register and show their real identity on the Internet? Do you think that will help it? Do you think that will help the Internet?

[A]

Yeah, I think people, I think it would make it less fun in a sense and it's kind of like a double edged sword. Yeah, I feel there'd be less funny things because I think people take less chances.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But also I just feel like if you're gonna talk to somebody, there has to be like, oh, before you send this, tweet this. We've detect, we've, we've detected talking. Please put your ID and information. If you're just like doing like normal jokes and like that or normal random information. Even those, like those, those, those pages that folk post fake stats about players and like that, yeah, that's okay, it's whatever. But you already know like a lot of these Little meme pages, they. A lot of them got like revealed and it's like they get clowned for it to the day. And I feel like sometimes people won't take you as serious too if you. They see who you are.

[B]

I feel like, I feel like people should have to show their identity. Like once you talk like you have to at least have a profile picture and your age so we know what the we dealing with, you know what I'm saying? Like, I'm Talking to a 39 year old from Florida, bro.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You call some music trash, like turn the radio.

[C]

Anything other than that kind of feels like the dark web, you know? Like somebody who doesn't show their true identity.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, bro. It's like you just get all these accounts on here that just get to talk freely and like sometimes depending on the comment section, those burner accounts can change the narrative of what you posted. Yeah, depending on who got there first. People don't know that. Like it's like a lot of comments that are swayed just by the first four comments that are there. So if four people, four haters get there before the rest of the people get there, man your might be. No, for real. I got a question for you.

[A]

All right, all right.

[B]

What's something you used to believe was essential in a relationship but now realize isn't actually true?

[A]

I think I used to think that you should never go to bed angry. And now I think the sleep is the thing that saves the relationships.

[B]

I'm guessing on that, but I wanna, I want to hear it.

[A]

No, I'm just saying I think there's some situations where you might be angry. It's like I probably need a nap or I probably need to go to bed and I wake up in a new mood like nothing ever happened.

[B]

Not, not.

[A]

I don't do that personally. But I'm just saying I think there's like some situations where. Have you ever been an argument? Sleepy and arguing. You just start saying random to like get over the argument. I feel like you gotta have to have that break.

[B]

Like now. I need to be on good terms before the morning because that's when I like to do the little side, little thrusting. Yeah, yeah, you gonna get your little sex from the side.

[A]

What you fig. Get Deny.

[B]

I should have made up with you last night.

[A]

I've gone to bed, I've gone to bed angry. And then, you know your girls like starts to cuddle with you in the morning and. And you like cuddle and then you remember halfway through, like, oh no, unham me.

[B]

They Remember you on Hardy.

[A]

I forgive you, baby.

[B]

She don't touch that meat.

[A]

You know what?

[B]

Last night, you was wrong. Yeah.

[A]

As you. You guys just got done yet as you putting your pants on. And like I said, you're still bogus as what you did.

[B]

That's crazy. Ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies.

[A]

Oh, man.

[B]

Okay, okay, next question. This for both of y'.

[A]

All.

[B]

If your girl made more money than you, what's the first insecure thought you have? Just a thought. It's like, obviously you. You Sometimes you have thoughts that don't turn into actions or don't turn into emotions, but you can still have a thought. What's an insecure thought?

[A]

You have. What's my insecure thought? I don't know. What's yours?

[B]

Oh, mine would be. Mine would be. I guess the first time that she asked me to do something that's out of the ordinary.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know what I mean? And if that thing involves her money or if I'm at a spot where her money is a reason why we're there and I can't be in this space yet with my own money money. Like if we walk around Ferrari and she got me walking around and she'd be like, what you think about this one? What you think? And I'm like, I don't know. I can't buy the. Like, do I say I like it?

[A]

Are you gonna buy it?

[B]

The. You know, I mean, just being in limbo.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, with somebody with like a lot of money and like that.

[A]

I feel like I. I really can't personally, I can't think of any thought. But I've been in relationships where my girl, the person I was with, made more money than me in that moment.

[B]

You said what?

[C]

I'm sorry.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

I just think it hard on that I just insecure thought to be like. Like.

[B]

I don't know. Like. Okay, think about this. You're like. Let's say you got a nice house together, right?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And you make $100,000 a year, but your woman makes $800,000 a year. Like, crazy difference. And she starts buying items from the house that you can afford, but you kind of don't like it.

[D]

It.

[B]

Can you really say anything?

[A]

Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, okay.

[B]

Like, let's say, like, okay, I don't want a 90 inch TV. And she like, yeah, I want a 90 is TV.

[A]

But then that's just different.

[B]

Anyway, by myself did a little. Then she put baddies on. He like the. Want to watch the Super Bowl?

[A]

Yeah. It'll be Interesting.

[B]

But could you really handle that? I guess that's the next question.

[A]

I think I could.

[B]

To what degree?

[A]

To any degree. I think it's all about the relationship. If there's no respect, even if you make more than her, this doesn't matter then.

[B]

Not to any degree, but to a certain degree, like, okay, to anything. If I make. If I make. Let's say I make 500, 000 a year and she make 5 million, that's fine, sure. But she can't be a billionaire and I make a hundred thousand. Then why would you even get a relationship for me?

[A]

But then you said you're saying you're a girl.

[B]

But listen, imagine it. This one saying this fell. Imagine arguing with your girl, right? You arguing with her in the kitchen, and you like, man, I'm tired of this. And then she like, you know what? I need some space. And she walk out the door, and you hear the helicopter start up.

[D]

Leave.

[B]

You'll be sick as hell.

[A]

Wouldn't it work both ways? Then?

[B]

You can't use a helic. That's not your pilot. He don't listen to nobody.

[A]

No, no, I'm just saying, even if I was. If I was up 5 million and. And she only had 500, 000 or 5. A billion, and then she only had 500, 000, it would be the same thing. I think the thing in all of this thing, no matter the. The whichever way, boy, girl, girl, boy. So politically correct. No, no, I'm not trying to be politically. I'm just saying my opinion. No, I'm just saying like, whichever, whichever way. But it's always, never stop doing your thing. And I think that's the mistake a lot of people make. Especially you see it, obviously you see it a lot with women because a lot of the, the. The men are in higher positions, stuff like that, Right. And they. And obviously sometimes the dudes like, oh, you don't have to work no more, and this and that. Don't believe that, ladies. Keep your job, keep your. Keep everything that you're doing. Make your own money.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Because you never know, especially somebody in a new relationship, like, just keep making your money. So if I was in a relationship with a billionaire, I would still keep doing what I'm doing. Would I take a couple weeks off podcast this? Yes. Would you guys see me here a lot less? Maybe.

[B]

If my girl call, I'm. Pick it up.

[D]

Hold on, y'.

[E]

All.

[B]

Yeah, baby. Like, all I need is $200,000 and this is gone. I just want $200,000 put on this head. He trolling me? No, but for real, I feel like a lot of people. That's a really good point. A lot of people actually lose their relationship because of that. Like not stand on their path. They don't realize like, like sometimes the reason you even got that girl or for girls or whoever you like, the only reason you got that person is because you were on a path and that person loved the path. You all love how you look when you're pursuing it. But somebody, some people be pursuing some and then they get a significant other and then they'll stop and go on the side of the road and start chilling. And then that person to leave them, they'd be like, why you leave me? Because your dumbass you was on trajectory to be a millionaire. And then you settle 150000 in a house. In fact Shorewood, Wisconsin a lot, I.

[A]

Have a lot of like female friends. And then that, that's happened to them a lot. Whereas like, you know, the dude's like, oh, they told him to stop, you know, you don't have to work no more. This and that, had a baby and stuff like that. Just stay at home and take care of the baby. And then it was like when the relationship is over, it's like, nah, you gotta leave. You're this and that. That's why sometimes I don't be all the way mad when some of these women be suing some of these dudes like, like for spousal support and stuff like that. Because I don't know their situation. I don't know everybody's situation. There are some like some grimy ass woman out there obviously too that like take advantage of the system. But there's some dudes that would like literally put those girls in a position where they can't support themselves anymore and then basically gaslight them into not doing their work, their job anymore. And then it's like when the relationship is over, it's like what now? I feel like.

[B]

But I feel like sometimes that's a little bit of a mess. Sometimes it does happen organically. Yeah, like both people wanted that at that time.

[A]

No, for sure.

[B]

Then something happened to where like somebody didn't want to be in that position anymore.

[A]

No, I agree.

[B]

Because some people don't know what they're getting themselves into.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because a lot of men think that when they do that their girls attitude, her hormones, all that's supposed to disappear. I know, you just think like that girl can't have an attitude no more if they pay all the bills. It don't work like that.

[C]

Yeah, no, it's got to be a plan. Like, I feel like if you really want your spouse to. To, like, stop working, like, you should be able to, like, invest in them and then invest in them so that whether, you know, doing nothing, they can figure out something.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Startup or something like that or.

[B]

Yeah. Help you with your stuff to, like. And give them some, like, type of ownership into it. Like, because usually it's like.

[C]

Like having them quit a 9 to 5 versus, like, you know, working your own.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. And I get that first in some aspect, too, is like, it depending on obviously, the level that you're at. Like, if I'm even now, I wouldn't. I wouldn't want my girl working at. At Target or something. And just because, like, people who know, especially in Milwaukee, it's like, people know who I am. It's like, oh, your girl's working here and this and that. So it's not no shade to anybody working there, but it's just like, one of those things. Yeah. Because no, it wasn't no shade.

[C]

Housewife ain't played out.

[A]

No, no, not.

[B]

It ain't paid off, but it is a little shade in a sense of like.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

For someone to be working behind a desk at one of those jobs at that age for. I wouldn't date someone in that position unless I knew I could get them out. Because it's just.

[A]

Why would you date them, though?

[B]

Because they're too accessible.

[A]

Accessible in, like, people seeing them.

[B]

Yes, it's the accessibility, not the money. Not, like, how they look. It's like, damn. Like, somebody could literally be like, hey, Pat, you a. I'm like, yeah, shut your whole ass up. Like, all right, I'm about to go talk to your girl. They're like, yo, can I get a coat for my L3?

[A]

Yeah, what's up? I think also because, like. Also because, like, I try to stay pretty low key. Like, I'm not trying to be, like, everywhere all the time and stuff like that. So it's like, I'm obviously dating somebody kind of like that as well.

[B]

Like, I saw you at Culver's bringing your girl Taco Bell. Why don't you just eat Culver's?

[A]

Oh, that's crazy. Yeah.

[B]

Yo, yo, yo.

[A]

What to do, what to do?

[C]

I'll swear.

[F]

All right, go ahead, ask the question.

[B]

What's.

[G]

We just.

[F]

We're getting straight today.

[C]

Not.

[F]

Cause Pat be on that.

[B]

We. Oh, we called you before. Who is this?

[A]

Nah.

[F]

Yeah, this. I don't know which story y' all gonna remember this. What I'm aware. To the club. That might.

[B]

Okay, what you. What you got on right now?

[F]

Sounds crazy after Valentine's Day. That's the first question. It's crazy what you wear.

[B]

What you wear on Valentine's Day.

[C]

Happy belated Valentine's Day without.

[F]

No, I ain't wearing nothing. So it's just like. Yeah, Next question.

[B]

Oh, you. Oh, okay. Freaky ass. All right, I got a question for you. What's up? What's something you love to hate.

[E]

People.

[F]

With active father figures. I put active father figures, and I meant to put in non active mothers, but for me, yeah, that good to me. So, like, go ahead.

[A]

Wait.

[B]

She said she don't like somebody explaining this to me. Like, I'm five.

[C]

She don't like active fathers, and she.

[A]

Doesn'T like when people got.

[F]

When people got an active father but they don't have an active mother.

[E]

Yeah.

[F]

Nah, nah.

[B]

Why? Why? What's wrong with that?

[F]

They tend to be like, more up. Like, when you raised by a single father, it's like you see his whole ways. Like me, for instance, I'm technically hating on myself a little bit. Like, my mama active as hell, but my father is too. So I see his whole ways when I'm not with her, when she ain't being active. So when a woman only got a man to see how to behave and act. Nah, she just turned into a nigga. It's not just people. It's just women specifically.

[B]

No, I'm not. I'm not gonna lie. Like, that's true. Like, I live. My dad, he was a single man too. Man. You see some up, man.

[F]

Every time I see my dad, it's a new. I'm like telling her, yeah, like, hey, how you doing? Literally, like, can I get a mom in this?

[B]

Right?

[F]

Hello. Like, it. I'll take a step at this point.

[B]

Can we get somebody to stay and cook? Why they leaving at 6:00am like, no.

[F]

She in a telly with us. Like, what's going on?

[A]

The what? The hotel?

[F]

Yes.

[A]

Like, oh, what? Like family trips.

[F]

OG oh, bro. Like I said with my OG So when he'll come see us, it's a new every time. Like, you talking about, I'm gonna come see you, and I'm seeing the seventh hoe of the year. I'm just like, it's too much.

[D]

Like.

[F]

And they all be knowing my name. I'm just like, you really act like you some type of family, man. They know my name. They thinking they the step Mama, he played a role well.

[B]

So it's like when I walk. Have you had any favorites? You had any favorites that you wish you would have kept?

[F]

Yeah, he should have kept a Mexican one. I ain't.

[A]

What you like about her?

[F]

She just wanted to be a mom so bad. Like, she used to swear we was her daughters and all this type of texting out the blue when they was into it. She like, yeah, your dad tripping. I'm like, it's cool, shorty. Like, he gonna get over it. But I'm hungry. I ain't ate today. So you got some bread for.

[A]

She said.

[F]

You feel me? She was the favorite. She was the most ready. I feel like all these other hoes.

[B]

What's your message to your long lost domestic mom.

[F]

Shorty? Like, I know he ain't shit, but I am. So it's just like, do it for the kids. You know, people staying up. Marriages for the kids. Do it for the kids.

[B]

What?

[C]

You said your mom was active.

[F]

She active as hell. But it was like, if I'm gonna be with him and he gonna be with a bitch, she gotta be an active figure as well.

[B]

See, I don't know, because she a stud. Like, okay, you a stud. Right?

[A]

Right. Oh, my God.

[F]

Yeah, but.

[B]

Okay, but I knew that. But I'm saying. But I'm just saying because when the. When the guys get on here, right, we get on their ass about like the B word. Like the. And like, disrespect the women. So, like, should we get.

[F]

No, no, no, no.

[A]

It don't count. I don't think so.

[B]

You don't think it count, honestly, that.

[A]

I didn't even, like, realize she said the B word.

[B]

Did she?

[F]

I ain't either. I ain't going to lie.

[A]

Definitely, Definitely wearing a cape for this one.

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm not gonna lie.

[F]

My fault, fool.

[B]

No. Cause you're like, he with a different and all that.

[A]

Oh, he was saying that. No, you said that smoother.

[B]

Sounds n. You can't disrespect women on that show.

[A]

She's a woman, though.

[B]

No, but she.

[A]

She can. She can disrespect her own kind. No, we probably disrespect the guys.

[F]

And I know a hoe from a woman. I mean, it's different levels.

[B]

We'll come back.

[F]

Y' all can't agree. Okay. Y' all can't agree. It's Women history month, us three.

[B]

Oh, damn it. Almost. Wait, hold on. This March, we.

[A]

We should drop some, like, happy International Women month.

[B]

Oh, yeah, we should. We might Are you gonna rock it?

[F]

Y' all gotta rock my stuff, though.

[A]

What you got?

[B]

How many jerseys you got?

[F]

It is a. I got a clothing brand, and it's like a shirt jersey type vibe from the Rosewood Massacre.

[A]

Why are you laughing? No shot. What's your. What's your clothing brand name?

[F]

It's lyrical America.

[B]

No, I swear.

[A]

We.

[B]

Iraq yourself. We definitely bought the cops.

[F]

Send it to them.

[A]

Oh, fire.

[F]

Okay, just let me know. I'll send y' all the app.

[A]

Oh, I about to ask you, what was the worst one? The baby moms or the. The.

[F]

The worst one? Yeah, the last one. Because, like, she just popped up to my sister graduation, and she was, like, hugging like we knew her and I had never met her. And I'm just like. I'm looking at my pops. Like, am I supposed to act like I know this woman? And I was so. I was just like, yeah, nah, you too far gone for me. You know? You never met me. You acting crazy.

[B]

Okay?

[C]

And you never wanted a stepdad, you said.

[F]

Huh?

[C]

You never wanted a stepdad.

[F]

Nah, that's too much, bruh.

[A]

Too much. What did you say?

[B]

G? Said I'd be too much masculinity in a household.

[F]

No, for me. I might. I might transition at that point.

[A]

Oh, my gosh.

[B]

Come on up. But, hey, we forgot. First of all, first of all, happy International A woman's decade to you.

[F]

You feel me? I appreciate that.

[A]

How was your Valentine's Day?

[F]

That was amazing.

[B]

I know you had a nice little button up in.

[A]

Did somebody ask you to be your valentine?

[F]

Yeah, in a way. Yeah. I got some gifts, so, yeah. I mean, but I ain't get the.

[A]

Whole more than one gift.

[F]

I a want that. Yeah. Multiple Shorty got me some shoes, Lego sets, some hats, some flyers.

[B]

Oh, she in love.

[D]

Why?

[B]

Why? That's not your girl.

[E]

Cuz.

[F]

I told her, like, after Valentine's Day, we was done.

[B]

So it was like you just toxic, man, after.

[F]

No, no, no. I'm just not ready for a relationship.

[A]

After you got the gifts.

[B]

No, no, no.

[F]

I told her before. I told her before.

[B]

Oh, she still went through with it. She was trying to raise you up. Did you get her something?

[F]

Yeah. I ain't get her as much as she got me, but she ain't for me. I cook for her.

[H]

For me.

[A]

What?

[B]

Yeah, man, You. Hey, you versatile. That's all I got to say.

[F]

I'm a woman. What?

[B]

She everywhere with it. I can't. I can't really get a game, so.

[F]

So what I'm supposed to do? What I'm supposed to do just wear the button up and a strap on and just.

[B]

That's where the strap on come from.

[A]

She go down the grill.

[B]

But what you wearing on the grill, girl? What? Oh, okay, okay, okay. We. Okay scenario. I know I never asked you this question.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Let's.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[C]

Me and you.

[B]

I got invited to a wedding. You my plus one. What you wearing?

[F]

Yeah, might be in the same. You got.

[A]

Matching tuxes. I gonna be like clips at the Grammys.

[F]

God, that's sick. That's sick.

[B]

I ain't gonna have bell bottoms at the bottom. No, that's crazy. You're my twin. For real, bro. We gotta get a. We gotta get a matching fit. Me and you. Wait. You come to y' all said y'.

[F]

All was gonna have me on here for a little dating. So y' all ain't follow through, though?

[A]

Oh, no, we definitely gonna do. You coming to the live show?

[F]

Nah, y' all gonna be in. Y' all gonna be in a couple cities. I be in, but nah, I'll be at work, but I ain't gonna lie to y'.

[D]

All.

[F]

I ain't gonna lie to y'.

[A]

All.

[B]

Oh, that's cool, though.

[A]

I feel it. You do it.

[B]

You do enough for the pot. That's our. What do they call it?

[A]

Our store?

[B]

Stud correspondence it as a historic correspondent.

[A]

What?

[B]

My bad, My bad. But no. Appreciate you coming on the show. Barilla and n got me up.

[F]

Nah, nah, nah, nah.

[B]

Now.

[F]

Now, when we go back to season one of this episode of these podcast in the Turtle.

[A]

Liz, you the turtleneck.

[B]

You got. We. Come on.

[F]

We both good with a tall ass T shirt. Tokyo. The under sleeve.

[B]

Come on, Thug. We let you live. Y' all had to let me live. I was the one telling the jokes up there.

[A]

Was.

[F]

I say thug, and I'm telling the joke. So now what?

[B]

No, you know what? You know what? I better not catch you at CVS or Walgreens in that aisle. I know that. Tough it out. Hey, hey, hey.

[F]

Yo, brother.

[A]

That's crazy.

[B]

Know what?

[F]

I'm end this conversation.

[A]

No, you have a good.

[F]

Have a good day.

[A]

You have a good night.

[H]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

All right, yo, let's take a quick break to thank our sponsor Factor. I know a lot of you guys are busy and don't have time for the grocery shopping, the cooking, then you got to clean the dishes on top of everything else. Factor can help with that. They make healthy eating easy with fully prepared meals. It's designed by dietitians and crafted by chefs, so eat well without the planning or the cooking.

[A]

They are made with quality functional ingredients including lean proteins, colorful veggies, whole food ingredients and healthy fats. No refined sugars, no artificial sweeteners, no refined seed oils. Meals that fit your goal and schedule, healthier eating, calorie management and more.

[B]

Protein factor makes healthy delicious meals easy. They have jalapeno lime, cheddar chicken, herb cream cheese, salmon and four cheese tortellini with sausage. They have a hundred rotating weekly meals to keep things fresh and delicious all the way through winter. Options include high protein calorie, smart Mediterranean diet, GLP1 support and ready to eat salads.

[A]

Always fresh, never frozen. Ready in about two minutes. No prep, no stress. Head to FactorMeals.com Crash50OFF and use code Crash50OFF to get 50 off and free breakfast for a year.

[B]

Eat like a pro this month with Factor New subscribers only. Varies by plan. One free breakfast item per box for one year while subscription is active. Now back to the platform.

[A]

Hot Monster Energy. Everybody knows White Monster, Zero Ultra, that's the OG it kicked off this whole zero sugar energy drink thing. But Ultra is a whole lineup now. You've got Strawberry Dreams, Blue Hawaiian Sunrise and Vice Guava. And they all bring the Monster energy punch. So if you've been living in the white can, branch out.

[B]

Ultra's got a flavor for every vibe.

[A]

And every single one is Zero Sugar. Tap the banner to learn more.

[B]

What up? What up though? Where are you from? Detroit.

[H]

Man, you ask me this every time. Yeah, kinda.

[B]

No, no, I know. Yeah, kinda. Where you from?

[H]

I lived in Detroit for like two years.

[B]

Okay, okay. So not in Detroit. All right, bet. All right. I got a question for you, bro.

[H]

Yeah, what up?

[B]

What's something you love to hate.

[D]

Bro?

[H]

Basic ass white people. And I mean like the corny like, like you can't. You can't relate. Hold on, hold on.

[B]

You know we about to ask you a question.

[H]

Oh yeah, I'm. I'm Caucasian. Than a. I ain't gonna lie.

[A]

Why don't I cry?

[B]

I've never heard a white person say I'm Caucasian. Then a.

[A]

That'S really white. Why are you hating on your people.

[H]

Man? Bro, it's just like they ain't no seasoning, no flavor to them.

[A]

Like.

[B]

Flavor.

[G]

You said what now?

[B]

No, go ahead.

[H]

But no, they ain't got no seasoning, no flavor to them. Like I be. I work for Amazon and, and like they all be like all crowded up and every time I walk into the conversation just don't make no Sense pants. They should just be corny. Like, so what.

[A]

What made you not.

[B]

You said what now?

[A]

So what made you not corny?

[B]

Crazy question. I wouldn't take that type of disrespect.

[A]

No, I'm just saying it's leading somewhere. I'm just saying, like, you could. If you figure that you're not corny and how could you bring flavor to more white people then.

[H]

Oh, I can't. I can't bring flavor to somebody who. Who's had it all handed to him.

[B]

Preach. Preach, brother.

[D]

Right.

[C]

Where'd you get your flavor?

[H]

My baby mama. For real?

[A]

Oh, damn. So you just got. How long y' all been together?

[H]

We separated now.

[A]

Well, how long were y' all together?

[H]

Like, four or five years, I think.

[A]

You got five years of flavor.

[B]

Traffic. Traffic. Looking for my chapstick.

[H]

I mean, hey, hey, nah. And that's for real.

[D]

That's for real.

[H]

What everybody call me is be red too, man.

[B]

I could. I see why. What's the.

[H]

Like, like.

[B]

What's something that's flavorful about you? Let's name them off.

[H]

I mean, I know how to dress.

[B]

Dress.

[H]

I know how to relate to people.

[B]

I relate. Relate to. Relate to one of us. Mike, tell them a story that you grew up. What's something you did when you was younger? See if you relate late. What? School lunches.

[A]

School lunches. Square pizzas.

[H]

A square pizza for sure.

[B]

Just repeated. You added for show.

[A]

I feel like a lot of schools have square pizzas too, though.

[H]

No, every school has square pizza.

[B]

What's something that make you flavorful?

[A]

Bro, you said dressing. Dance.

[H]

My personality. My personality make me flavorful.

[A]

What?

[C]

Tik Tok dances. Do you know?

[G]

No, I don't know.

[H]

Not a single damn. Okay, okay.

[B]

Name top five favorite black people. There we go.

[A]

Let's go. Let's do it.

[H]

Top five favorite black people. NBA. Young boy.

[D]

Obama.

[B]

Wow. Okay.

[A]

Diversity.

[H]

Mike Tyson.

[B]

Okay.

[H]

Kevin Durant.

[A]

Okay.

[H]

And I guess LeBron.

[A]

I guess LeBron. It's like, you don't want to like him, but you have to. Yeah.

[D]

Type.

[A]

Type. Okay.

[B]

Like, okay. Name your top five favorite white people. Like, let's see. Let's see. Where. Where we at with it?

[H]

Oh, top five favorite white people. Britney Spears.

[A]

Okay. Okay.

[B]

That's pretty good.

[C]

How about Johnson?

[A]

Go ahead, Go ahead.

[H]

Man. It's hard to name my top five favorite white people because I don't like a lot of white people.

[E]

Those.

[A]

The white people scare me when they say white people.

[B]

Okay, okay. No.

[H]

What's his face for a brother.

[C]

I got.

[B]

I Got it.

[A]

No.

[B]

No, bro. You got it. No. Okay. So do you. Do you wish you were black?

[G]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

I never heard no. Like, he just came out and said it. I know a lot of people wish they was, but you actually wish you were black. What's the first thing you would do if you were?

[H]

No, you trying to get me say something crazy.

[B]

No, no, it's real. You ain't got to say, like, if that's the first thing on your mind, that's what you would have said. But you ain't got to pick, obviously. I don't want you to pick that. I want the clip to go viral. Like, I want you to actually answer it truthfully.

[H]

First thing I would do if I. If I woke up black tomorrow is I'm gonna see my dick bigger.

[A]

Oh, my God. All right, man.

[B]

You literally said.

[A]

Okay, bro. It was Tyrese Gibson as well, bro.

[H]

All right, y' all have a good one.

[D]

All right.

[B]

YouTube, bro.

[H]

When the main tickets going live with the what, Maine? When the Detroit tickets going live?

[A]

Hopefully by the time this is out. So Wednesday.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

All right.

[H]

All right. That better be live, or else I'm crashing out in the studio.

[B]

I think it's gonna be some real Detroit there. So you better. Better wear your white boy, and that's fine.

[F]

That's fine.

[H]

That's fine.

[B]

You better wear your collar shirt.

[E]

You said what?

[D]

Now?

[B]

It's gonna be some real D boys there. You better wear your collar shirt, brother.

[H]

I'm gonna be rocking some V long.

[B]

Mike gotta go to dinner, so I'm gonna just ask you the question.

[A]

I don't have to go anywhere.

[B]

You gotta get to dinner. Usually I would talk to you, be like, yo, what's up? I hope you let a pop.

[D]

I don't even want that today. I don't even need that. That today, P. I don't even need it. I don't even need it. I ain't got time for your today, bro.

[A]

Thank you. At least I'm starting to like when people understand when Pat's bullshitting and lying. Some people like. Oh, really, Mike? Really, Mike? You're really about to go to dinner?

[D]

If you watch the pod, bro. You know Pat full of, bro. So I'm just letting Pat know I don't need that today.

[B]

All right, you got me.

[D]

Just ask the question. Let's go. Y' all know it. I know. Shut your ass up today, huh?

[B]

Oh, yeah. You know you got it, brother. You all right. What's something you love to it, man?

[D]

Bro. So listen, long story short. I live in Seattle, right? So they just won the super bowl. So they been having jazz in all over this, bro. And I'm a big dude. I'm like 64, like £200 or whatever. So people see me and they think I'm like in the league or something like that, bro. I hate a pretty ass rich man. And that's what these be.

[B]

That like there's something in common. Well, every dude that hates me for no reason, there's definitely something. They all got something in common. That's all I gotta say. What is a pretty rich.

[D]

Bro? Pretty rich. Have you not seen this, bro? Like this?

[A]

Who we talking about?

[D]

I'm talking about jsn, like Jackson Smith. Yeah, yeah, I seen this the other day at the parade or whatever. And even I. I looked at my girl, I was like, hey, you see him? Like, you know what I mean? Like, you get what I'm like. Nah, like, don't laugh, bro. But yeah, like, I don't usually like.

[B]

To put this on people, but that was very bike curious.

[D]

No, no, no, no.

[A]

That's the first thing that came to your mind is not that, oh, this guy won the super bowl. Is. This is pretty.

[D]

I thought that Sunday.

[A]

Oh, you say he's more than just a trophy.

[D]

I had a little time to marinate.

[C]

His feelings were lingering.

[B]

No, this is this crazy.

[A]

So is it just him that you hate on or is just all, oh.

[D]

No, I got a leaf, I got a list, I got a list.

[B]

You got a list of pretty. Name them all.

[D]

Listen them blitz. That's all I'm saying.

[B]

That might be worse than calling somebody pretty.

[A]

Who? You got a shout out, though.

[D]

Shout out. You know, shout out. I'm hating on these.

[A]

Oh, yeah, who you hating on? Yeah, who you hating on?

[D]

Number one, Jason Tatum, bro. Jason Tatum.

[B]

Okay, okay, that's a little famous clip of ours, but yeah, you can't steal.

[A]

The shine of that one.

[B]

Okay, keep moving on.

[D]

All right, no shine. You all see him just like I see him, boy. Jason Tatum. Goddamn. I'm from the South. I grew up in the south, bro. A who grew around me, Devin Booker. Another one. Not fair, not fair.

[B]

That's crazy. Keep going.

[D]

Man. Odell, another one, man. You know, all them light skinned, curly hair, rich ass man. It's not fair. Like, how the are you 66, you light skinned, curly hair and you got a honey m like, come on, bro, leave something out here for us, you know what I mean? Okay, you in the same boat.

[B]

But no, but I'm not in the same boat. I would never envy another man because of what he has, man.

[D]

Listen, I'm not envying him. I'm not envying him because of what he has. I'm envy him because the. That God gave him.

[A]

But what is it taking away from your life is what I'm saying. Could you say leave them some for. Leave some for us.

[B]

He don't like how his girl look.

[D]

Oh, no, no. Oh, no. I got way better than I was supposed to when they kind of did. But I'm just saying, like, leave something like, bro, how can I put it? You would have to be here to understand, G. Like, the type of girls that like that get compared to the type of girls, like, regular get.

[A]

But you have a girl. Watch this even matter, man.

[D]

Don't get me started. We went through all this before. I'll talk to y' all before about that.

[A]

What?

[D]

Get started.

[B]

What was.

[A]

What'd you say?

[D]

Oh, I think y' all had the little live show. Y' all had called me, and I was like, every. Deserve to have a side chick or some. Y' all went on.

[B]

Hey, shout out to the live show. Where you.

[D]

Where you from?

[B]

You say you from Seattle. You coming to the show?

[D]

Nah, I live in Seattle, but I'm from New Orleans.

[B]

But you come. But you live in Seattle. You come to the show?

[D]

Yeah, yeah, I just seen y' all coming up here.

[F]

I'm gonna come.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Bring. Make sure you bring your girl, too.

[I]

Hell no.

[A]

You're not gonna bring your girl?

[D]

No, hell, no. I mean, my brother gonna come.

[A]

Oh, man, I definitely would have dried snitched.

[B]

I would have snitched you out.

[A]

For sure.

[B]

He said, I knew y' all was some type of people.

[D]

I knew y' all some type of people, so I ain't gonna do that.

[A]

All right, what's your. What's your message? Is it JDSN or JSN or all the pretty rich.

[D]

Oh, jsn. Man, Jay is saying, man, congratulations on winning Super Bowl. You brought that to the city. I hope you fall and chip your pretty ass teeth. My.

[A]

Oh, my gosh. This is a different type of hate.

[B]

Like, this is like, he, like, angry, horny. Yeah.

[G]

No.

[D]

I can't even defend the. Yeah, it. It is what it is at this point.

[A]

Yeah. Hey, man, live your truth, bro.

[B]

I don't want to bully nobody into being by, brother.

[D]

None of that. None of that. It's strictly female over here, my dog.

[A]

Hey, it don't sou remember, be faithful, brother.

[D]

Hey.

[A]

No, this is terrible.

[B]

No, you're terrible.

[A]

All Right, bro? Man, you have a good one, bro.

[B]

Yo, what's the deal? Welcome to Crash on Me's podcast. Speed running through your.

[G]

Yo, what's going on?

[A]

What up, man?

[B]

What's good? What's good? What's good? I got a question for you.

[G]

Yeah, with up.

[B]

What's something you love to hate?

[D]

Oh, that's easy.

[G]

Hobo Johnson.

[H]

I'm.

[G]

I'm a certified hater for, like, Hobo Johnson. I hate that artist sound very passionate.

[B]

Didn't he just have, like a tiny desk or something just recently? What you hate about Hobo Johnson.

[G]

Okay, see, see, see, this is what I mean right here. Like, like, this year is probably gonna be my year because I've been telling people how, like, Hobo Johnson's just a terrible artist. Like, I said this like, like seven years ago when I first heard him. I heard his music. It made me so mad. At first I thought it was a joke, but, like, I thought it was like a joke band. Okay. They're just making a spoof. But no, he was serious and there were people who actually liked it. And I was like. With it. I was like, what? Like, no, this is garbage.

[B]

Okay, what. What specifically don't you like about him?

[G]

Okay, so literally, I thought he was. Okay, so what song was. I think it's called Peach something. I don't know. But, like, he was starting off like, like, like, like, like entering, talking, and there was like the baseline and then it was a kick drum and he kept on yapping. And it turns out that's. That's that song.

[D]

He.

[G]

No, no, no. It. It gets. It gets. Okay. No, you have no idea how much I hate this guy. Like, I used to work at a. At a, at a. I used to be a wine clerk, right? I will purposely told customers that comes in, you know, like, at my shop, be like, hey, if you go to your Spotify, block him or just hit a dislike somehow, I will give you an employee discount.

[A]

That is true hate.

[B]

That's real. Hey. Okay, what's your message to Hobo Johnson?

[G]

Oh, my God. Don't. Like. How dare you have friends that have. That are yes men that actually, you know, give you thumbs up saying, yeah, that sounds good. And don't get me wrong, it pisses me off. Like, how is garbage like that, like, out there? Like, it's actually published, like, like on videos online and all that.

[B]

Okay, but okay, the pushback, you know, I'll just, like, act like I'm Hobo Johnson here for a minute is like, he got followers and he got Streams. And he got millions of followers, actually. So what do you say to those people that actually listen to him and enjoy them? Oh, man.

[G]

I, I, oh, man. It's kind of what's. I, I don't know if she's listening. I don't know if she watches the POD or not. There's this girl that, that I, I used to. Well, I took her out on a date, right? She With Hobo Johnson heavily. And I don't think she's gonna recognize my voice, but even so, like, I remember one time I took her out to go get some pizza. And mind you, we were, like, eating and shit, and we're talking about music, and I'm super into music. Like, love to all kinds of genres. And she mentioned how she loves Hobo Johnson. I kind of, like, froze. I basically kind of, like, after we're done eating, I lied saying, like, hey, I got work in the morning. I'm gonna have to drop you off, because, dude, I cannot. I, I can't imagine myself, like, sitting in my car and she's gonna, hey, I'm gonna put on some of her music, and it's gonna be Hobo Johnson. Or potentially, like, take her out to, like, a Hobo Johnson, like, concert. Like, I can't do that. No.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

A lot of people. Okay, okay. A lot, A lot of people over the Internet. Tough. So, like, if Hobo Johnson was in your face today, what would you say to him?

[G]

Say to him, dude, not like, wrap it up, dude.

[A]

Don't.

[G]

Don't ever make music. Don't ever drop an album. And, like, I'll let him know this too. On your birthday, December 22nd, I always hit a dislike on your, on your channel.

[A]

That is some real Stan shit right now.

[B]

No, you're a fan.

[A]

Yeah, You're a fan. No.

[B]

You're not a fan.

[G]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Hell no.

[B]

Okay, no, be real. If you can be honest with us, I guarantee you can name five of his songs.

[G]

No, not at all. I heard one song that, that peep song, and then at a random just see, I wonder if he really is garbage. I just hit a random song and it's like the same thing. He's just talking.

[C]

How do you know his birthday?

[A]

His birthday is crazy. Why do you know his birthday?

[G]

Oh, man, I don't know. I don't know what brought that up really. But all I know is, like, I think I looked it up once, and ever since, every year I just go, okay, hit the dislike. Hit the dislike. I would actually tell my friends, like, hey, don't give me any presents. Just hit a dislike on his YouTube channel.

[A]

Now. This level of hate is crazy.

[B]

This might beat the Jason Tatum.

[A]

Yeah, this is real. Hey, this is real. Holy.

[H]

Oh, man.

[A]

All right, bro.

[G]

You guys hate him, too.

[B]

I saw him on Tiny Desk before. I don't mind.

[G]

Please tell me you hate them.

[B]

It's not my style, but I don't hate. There's no artist I hate. I just wouldn't listen to him if it's not my style.

[G]

I cannot trust you with the Ox, bro.

[B]

Like, I would never play Hobo Johnson.

[A]

And I would never be in the same car either. I can't trust you with the Ox. Who are you? All right, man. You have a good one, though, all right? Get that hate out your heart, bro.

[G]

Welcome.

[E]

How you doing?

[A]

Pretty good, man. You?

[E]

I'm doing good, myself.

[A]

Where are you from? Myself. Okay. Where are you from?

[E]

I'm from North Carolina.

[A]

Oh, you come to the show, sir? You coming to the show? Are you coming to the show? The live show? We're doing a live show?

[E]

I can't. I'm working that day.

[B]

No. What day is it then?

[E]

Wait, what? What you mean, what day is the.

[B]

Show since you working that day?

[E]

Oh, hell if I remember.

[B]

Yeah, Ex, I remember.

[G]

I'm working.

[A]

All right, man, what's your hot take of the week?

[E]

My hot take of the week?

[D]

All right.

[E]

You should be able to slam out your homeboy if you get your girl.

[B]

Wait, say. Say it. Say it. Say it in you white, right?

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Say it in your language.

[E]

You should be able to take your homeboy out if he gets with your girl.

[B]

Like, like.

[A]

Like take him off this. Off the earth.

[E]

Out of this realm. You know what I mean?

[B]

In Minecraft.

[E]

On Minecraft.

[B]

No, I feel you, bro. I feel you. Are you going through this? Are you experiencing this right now?

[E]

Ah, this happened to me. Well, it happened me twice. So. Yeah, same guy, two different girls.

[B]

I'm telling you, that's gonna happen again, brother. But go ahead.

[A]

How did it happen the first time?

[E]

What happened the first time? All right, so me, my girl, you know, we was going through some things, and she. She's best ruined his. His little brother, you know, two years younger. All right. No, no. Weird.

[A]

But these. These type of details. Let me just pause this right here, people. When you tell the stories on the podcast, those type of details do not matter, little brother. Sometimes even the setting. Just get straight to the point. Go ahead, brother.

[D]

All right, bro.

[E]

So. All right, she was out here chilling with my homeboy. She's upstairs with him. My other homeboy's downstairs cooking steak sandwiches with his little brother. He comes upstairs, walk on the door, knock on the door. You know, hey, the food's down the stairs. But it's weird because this door is never locked. I mean, it's just, you know, my homeboy's girl, my other friend up here. What's happening? Knock on the door. Right here's. What's that, bro? Why is it so quiet all of a sudden? What's happening inside here? You open that door. He saw up now. He a good homeboy, though, because he called me right after.

[A]

So he was your homeboy still after that? Because I was wondering how he did it twice. Like, if your homeboy did something like that.

[E]

Because I was kind of happy for him because it was his first time getting in a long time. And like, we were already going through something. I was like, you know what? If it was anyone, at least it was him.

[B]

He capping. He capping, bro.

[E]

C. I swear to God. I swear to God. My other homeboy is right here.

[B]

Oh, he was.

[A]

He was the one.

[H]

I was there.

[B]

Put the group leader on the phone.

[A]

He was the one that.

[D]

On the phone.

[A]

He's the one that has sex with your girl twice?

[E]

No, no, he ain't no other one.

[C]

How many times did he have sex with your girl?

[E]

Zero times, I hope.

[C]

Where we at?

[B]

Yeah, where the group leader at, bro?

[E]

You right here. Hold on. Are you able to hear him?

[B]

Yo, yo, what up? We talking to the real man of the friend group. What up, bro? Yo, what up, man? What up, what up?

[C]

What up?

[I]

That ass real, bro.

[B]

That was crazy as, bro, that. That time.

[D]

Wow, bro.

[A]

But so you were there watching his. Your other friends have sex with his girlfriend?

[D]

I was not watching nothing, bro.

[B]

No, bro.

[D]

I opened the door, cuz I had.

[B]

Unlocked it because he never locked the door.

[A]

So I'm like, what the is he doing?

[D]

I didn't even know she was there.

[B]

I literally did not know she was there.

[D]

Open the door.

[F]

Boom.

[D]

Right there. I'm like, oh, no, close the door, bro. And I did.

[B]

Went downstairs, instantly told the brother and called my friend.

[D]

But that was crazy.

[A]

So you never had sex with his. His. His ex?

[D]

No, bro, I got a girlfriend at the time, though. At the time, I had a girlfriend, bro.

[B]

Where do you got him on a phone? Like is going on?

[I]

He on the phone as well.

[B]

Oh, no. Get the out of here. I wonder why this sounds so delayed. He got us on a phone call. Through a phone call or intuitive.

[A]

I didn't even Know that, bro. He.

[B]

This dude says slime and intuitive in the same.

[A]

All right, bro. You have a good one, bro. Okay.

[B]

You got it, man.

[C]

Discord playing Minecraft and hello.

[A]

Yo, what it do.

[I]

Yo, what it do ain't what y'.

[A]

All got going on Podcasting. And, brother, I got a. I got a question for you, man.

[B]

M. Got a question for you.

[I]

Yes, sir.

[A]

What's something you did that you need forgiveness for?

[I]

Well, got down. I was taking first date. Taking my. Taking this girl I met out on Instagram, and my stomach got tore up on the way there, so I told her I had to use the bathroom. And I didn't expect all that happening at one time. And then when I finished what I was doing, the toilet didn't flush, so I just started panicking. I was like, shit, where's the plunger? And I ain't see no plunger. So first thing I thought was, get the fuck up out of here. So we went on a date. And after that, I ain't heard nothing back from her. But the date was good. But I already knew I was gonna get no call back.

[A]

Wait, you didn't even say anything about the. The clogged toilet?

[I]

Nah, no point. She was gonna see when she got back.

[B]

The fact that he's enjoying his date on borrowed time is hilarious, bro. He, like, man, you knew it was.

[I]

The last day, too.

[B]

He was probably having the time of your life. You was loose and all.

[I]

Oh, yeah, I had a great time. I ain't gonna lie to you. I had a wonderful time.

[A]

This is at her place, right?

[I]

Yeah, at her place.

[A]

Yeah. So there's no way else to even blame it on, but you.

[I]

Nah. You feel me. It could have been anybody that came over there.

[B]

And what's your message to her?

[I]

I'm sorry. It won't happen again. Well, I know it won't happen again because I ain't going back over there.

[B]

Do you regret that? Do you, like, wish you wouldn't have done that?

[I]

Hell, no. Cause I'll tell you one thing, I won't shit on myself. So I had to go somewhere. I just felt bad after I did it on a date and everything. She was having a good time. I was just thinking in my head, enjoy while you can, because who knows what you're ready to walk into?

[A]

That's up. Cause she. She obviously don't got a plunger. So she now has to go back home, probably has to use the bathroom.

[B]

She can't even pretend that she didn't see that. You know what I mean? Like, it's there. And even if she wanted to go on a date with you again, there's no way she can tell her friends what happened on that date.

[I]

Well, I feel like her priority should have been straightened and she should have bought a plunger when she got the house, but, you know.

[A]

So it was. It just like, after the date, you just never heard anything back? Did you, like, text or anything, or you just was waiting for.

[I]

I ain't gonna lie to you. I. I ain't gonna lie to you. I was thinking about blocking her, but then I just never heard nothing back to from her. I already knew what was about to happen, though. I'm pretty sure she walked in that bathroom and seen what was going on.

[B]

How do we know the date went well, though? Who says that?

[I]

I feel like if you're going to date you. She laughing real good. She's smiling, and she didn't really want to go home at the time.

[E]

That's a good date.

[B]

Oh, you made her go home at the end of the day.

[I]

Somewhat like that. Because it was a lot going on out there, and I was like, it's time to go home. It's getting late.

[B]

Shower or some.

[I]

Yeah, that one was rough, though. It just threw me off a little bit.

[G]

She.

[I]

I think she did try to text me, but I ain't read the text. I just deleted the message and then kept moving.

[B]

You'll probably wouldn't let you. All right. All right. Shitty.

[I]

I appreciate y'.

[B]

All.

[A]

All right, bro.

[B]

All right, fellas. Questions for you guys. You guys in a relationship, would you rather be a rebound or the sneaky link?

[A]

A rebound. Oh, I actually can, actually.

[B]

Okay, go ahead.

[A]

Would I rather be the rebound or the sneaky link? I think of the rebound. The rebound. Yeah.

[B]

Why? Why? Why?

[A]

I feel like sneaky link involves too much, like, stealth. Like. Like, the rebound is like, I can be wherever I want to be. Like, it's like. It's just. Just. It is what it is. You're coming here, for one. Yeah. There's no really risk about it.

[B]

Yeah, that's a really good answer. Because sneaky link, technically, your life is in danger.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know what I mean? Like, the. The thing I. I would never like about. Because I've never been a sneaky link. I would never like it because I have to trust the woman being secretive. I have to trust that you're doing a thorough job. It's not me that's. That's sneaking around. It's you. And then she come to your house, talking about, oh, yeah, Yeah, I just snuck out the house and stuff like that. And then you look at her purse, and it's an air tag in there.

[A]

You like, you sure about that? No, that's exactly like her sneak. It's just like, a lot of, like, obviously, if you're a rebound, there still might be, like, that pressure of, like, the dude that who. Whoever broke up with. But it's like, it's just less pressure, like, and you're not feeling like you're ruining the home in a sense.

[B]

It's funny how depending on who the ex is or the current boyfriend is, if the sneaky link situation that will determine if you even go through with it or how fast you cut it off.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because if it's like, okay, if this dude is like, the number two boxing prospect in the world, and this girl talking about, oh, yeah, we are sneaking, like, oh, no, we not. I am good.

[A]

I got a question for you, Pat.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Or Gene, too. Would you tell your friend their business idea is bad?

[B]

Depending on what friend it is?

[A]

What's the level of friends, and what's the type of answer, y'?

[B]

All? Yes. Because it's in close proximity to it, and I probably have to be around found it for the rest of my life. And I'm like, damn. I always knew this was dumb. Now this in debt, asking for $20. There you go, man. I do this. But if it's just somebody else, I'm just like, I feel like that's not. I don't know. I feel like I know you well enough.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

To where? If you told me a business idea, I could determine, like, how you're talking about it if it's going to work or not. But with somebody else, I'm like, I don't know how they brain work.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I never want to be, like, the person that motivate them into, like, the billion dollar business. I had a had ass one time.

[A]

Shout out to my haters.

[B]

He got a pod. I'm not going to expose him. But he got a podcast. He told me, this won't work. And look at this, y'. All. And then he got a city in Ghana.

[A]

And Ghana.

[B]

I just told him. I just told him, I don't think he could make water out of gas.

[A]

It definitely would be h. It definitely would have to do with, like, how, like, they explain it to me, because obviously there are some ideas. I hear it was like. And I really, like, we do this all the time when we're at the clothing brand meetings and stuff like that, that there'd be some ideas. I'd be like, eh, it's not for, it's not what I would do. But I can't say because I don't know what the execution is going to be. And I, I also, I'm very aware that my taste isn't everybody's taste either. So I'm like, okay, doing that. But like, if I hear the plan and the plan sounds dumb, the the how you're going to execute it, then I'm like, okay, yeah, I, I, I might not call it trash because I feel like it's hard to call anything trash because it's like, I just want to hear the execution. And I'll maybe big nitpick on the execution to maybe steer you back to, oh, no, I can. Oh, I probably do it that way. And then I was like, okay, okay, it's not a trash idea anymore. It might be a little mid idea now.

[B]

If I, if honestly, if I know the facts, then I'll tell anybody.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

If I have like some factual evidence already in my brain, like, yo, like, I've been in marketing 10 years. I know for sure this is not gonna work. Bro. You as the model you ugly as clothes for you should get a real.

[A]

Yeah, I don't think because the question said would you say is trash, but I don't think I would even say it's like, tell them that that's a trash idea or a bad idea.

[B]

There's no such thing as a bad idea technically.

[A]

Yeah, I'll try to critique it in the sense or just like draw, ask questions to draw more information about what you're talking about. I'm good for that.

[B]

Yeah. The worst thing ever is someone that has like a very, very, very thought out idea and they just so prideful about it. And you were only 30 seconds into them telling you, you and you tell them one thing that you think about it, and they're like, I never thought of that. And you're just like, damn, you never thought of that.

[A]

Yeah. Or when people give you a long road, brother. Or people give you business ideas that you already like. We get that all the time. I think we talked about this all the time. But just like podcast suggestions like, bro, you know it'll be fire. And that's. I already know it's about to be some. When anybody starts to sentence like that y' all should do this and that, I'm like, huh.

[B]

At least I, I kind of with that.

[A]

I with some of it.

[B]

Some of them don't have podcasts.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But I get what you're saying, though. Yeah, you know, you're 100% right. But the ones that are the worst are the ones, like, they tell us to do something. Like, we didn't think of that. Yeah, y' all should have Will Smith on the podcast. Like, go get him then. Like, what the. Man, y' all ever thought about having Drew Ski on?

[A]

What the.

[B]

Like, no, we never thought of that. Let's DM Drew Ski right now.

[A]

It'll be like, oh, bro, y' all should podcast from this rooftop and then live stream. And at the same time, it's like, bro, Don't worry if I ain't gonna listen to this. No, he def.

[B]

He heard that, bro. That was a. That was a crazy idea.

[A]

Come on now. It's 36 minutes in. You know that. Don't listen to.

[B]

Listen to this.

[A]

He found it as you know it. Let me know.

[B]

No, he know. Hey, man, make sure you cut my. Right.

[A]

All right.

[B]

I got a tweet of the week. All right, all right. This tweet of the week, it says, told my therapist a joke. She sighed and started taking notes. I think she trying to steal my joke.

[A]

Now, those therapy sessions is like, there's been some sessions I'll go to where it just seems like we're chatting. And I feel like every time I go in, I don't know what I'm going to talk about until you actually get there. And it's like, oh, okay. I'm talking about now, if one thing.

[B]

You better know about America, like, even if it helps you, even if it helps your health, mental health, or whatever it may be, there is some type of money grab in it. Like, you can go to a chiropractor. Yes. They might reset you. They might start to get your posture right. But three of those sessions are purely. I'm letting you know now they got you standing on your tippy toes for 15 minutes. Now, if you just do that every day for the rest of your life.

[A]

Your toes, that is. That is the hard part about therapy. And I think that's why some people, like, quit early in it sometimes. Because, like, the first, like, three, four sessions is like the getting to know you session. Some of these, you know, I do hour sessions, right. So it's like, you really can't tell your whole life story and everything in, like, four hours. So you gotta. Anybody that's in therapy, stuff like that. Give it some time, man. Keep going. Give it.

[B]

I think. I think people have to do more research. What I learned, like, people gotta do more research on who they relate to and who they feel comfortable talking to. Like, you might be a black dude from the hood, right. And you grew up and all your teachers were white women, and that's who you felt the most comfortable with.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And so that maybe that needs to be your therapist, you know? I mean, or you might be a black guy that's never been around white people. You need to have a black therapist. Like, why the first, you know, person.

[A]

You ever talk to, you always got to find the fit, too.

[B]

Gotta find a fit. All right. This tweet says I'm both dumber and smarter than you think. Don't estimate me.

[A]

No, that's facts, though.

[B]

That's real.

[A]

I think I. That really relates to me sometimes. There's some things I really just have no idea about it. But there's, like, some that. That I have knowledge of is like, why do you. Why do I even know this? Like, if you look at my YouTube algorithm, it is like. Like, I literally have a whole bunch of business stuff. It's like, why this business failed, how this is made. Like, I've just always been a big learner. But it'd be some, like, random, like, pop culture sometimes that might happen. Or it's like, I just.

[B]

Like, I just think that is, you know, when someone's intelligent, when they're talking to you, when they ask you, do you. How much do you know about the subject before they go on the rant?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

You know what I mean? Like, don't assume I don't know about it and then get to telling me how to edit a simple video on Cap Cut. Yo. So you go to Cap Cut, but, like, ask me, do I know what Cap Cut is first?

[A]

So.

[B]

So we can kind of end this.

[A]

Conversation or move past it a lot quicker.

[B]

Okay. Somebody said hate when a asked me what you do for a living. I do what I gotta do.

[A]

It's a very LA question.

[B]

No, real, though.

[A]

Like, it is a very LA question. Everybody. Everybody wants to know what you guys do for a living.

[B]

Okay, okay, Last one, last one.

[A]

But before you go, build the next one. 1. Have you ever looked at somebody, right, and you know they got money, and you. You do wonder what they do, though.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Like, you're like, all right, you know.

[B]

But it was one time, we were in London, we went to that cigar shop, and I don't know if you've. So there's a cigar shop right by the palace in London. I don't know if you'd be able to be there. Me and Mike went there after we was eating, we was eating some smoked duck. We had some caviar pancakes. Nice.

[A]

So I was.

[B]

I was. I was flossing my teeth with some 24k gold floss that we got from London.

[A]

I don't remember this.

[B]

Got it from the queen herself. And. And then we walk into this.

[A]

I don't think she was alive, though.

[B]

She had just died. Oh, yeah, yeah. So we walk into the cigar shop and we looking at all these cigars and stuff. So There's a hundred, $200 cigars, but there's some cigars that are in a glass case. And I looked at some of the prices, and I'm like, oh, why is that cigar so special? And the dude was telling me the history behind it. He picked it up. It was like $8,000, right?

[A]

There was one that was 50.

[B]

Like $50,000, right. It was this Asian dude coming to store with a backpack, sunglasses. Literally. I mean, not an expensive thing from what I could see. Very regular, very regular walks in, grabs two cigars from the same case I'm looking at. The cheapest one I saw was about 5,000. Walked out right outside of the store, start puffing that it was a cigarette. I said, oh, yeah, I wonder what he do for a living.

[A]

I was like, we're in the wrong session. I do be pocket watching people sometimes.

[B]

Yeah. But I also went over, but not.

[A]

In a hating way, just to kind of like, okay, sometimes I'll see, like, people's like, patreon numbers, right? And I'd be like, okay, let me just do some math every time, okay. If I made half of this, I'd be.

[B]

I be, yeah, we always do that. We made 10 with the Joe Button Network. Like, I could buy a shark. But no, but sometimes it go the other way too. Because I literally, when I was like, maybe 25, 26, I was in somebody car, and they had like this, like, tarp over. I was in the back seat. They had tarp over the floor of the back seat.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm like, damn, why they got this blue tarp over here? So I peeled it up, and while we was driving, I can see the road moving underneath. Leave. So he didn't have no bottom to the car. So yes. I wonder what that did for a living.

[A]

Holy.

[B]

They got a Flintstone car.

[A]

Holy.

[B]

They got a yabba dabba do Honda. All right, I got a last tweet of the week. I told my CO1, I told my co worker I was ambidextrous. This said, that's what's up Bro, love who you love. You get it? No, I told my cohort, you know.

[A]

What ambidextrous is like, you can use two hands. Yeah, use both hands.

[B]

No, you can use either hand, ladies and gentlemen.

[A]

What do you mean, both hands?

[B]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, you can't.

[A]

You can use both hands. I'm just saying if you can lay up. Right hand, layup, left hand, layup, ease. Yeah.

[B]

Yes, either hand. Yeah, either hand. I get what you say.

[A]

Saying no, what's. What difference would be saying either and both. You only got two hands.

[B]

Okay, you got it.

[A]

We got to get the bottom of this. How many hands does somebody have?

[B]

No, you got two hands.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

No, it just sounded, like very sexual.

[A]

When you said it.

[B]

I would use both hands, brother. But the dude didn't know what amid was, so he assumed that it was a sexual orientation.

[A]

Oh, got it, got it, got it.

[B]

So he was like, love who you love.

[A]

It do kind of sound like it when you think about it. No, I definitely do. Especially with, like, there's a lot of, like, letters being added right now.

[B]

No, it is.

[A]

I'm like, I. I approach those, like, conversations very, like, gently because I just don't understand some of it. So, like, you gotta, like, tiptoe.

[B]

Just, like. Just, like, I feel like when people don't do it right, I feel like you're deemed as, like. Like, not being in the know and not being a good person right away. Like, if I forget to call them, they them or say they them. Easy, correction. Like, yeah, be nice about it. Like, oh, no, no. He goes by. Yeah, he's not a hey, them. Like, just let me know, bro. Don't be like, they them. Like, all right, bro, let's see the next time. I see. Now, you gotta respect everybody, though. You gotta respect what people want to be called.

[A]

No, for sure, sure. That's what I hate when people, like, when somebody says, hey, I want to go buy this, and people just, like, purpose, like, I'm not gonna call you that. I'm like, bruh, just call them by the name if you don't want to call them he or she, whatever they might be.

[B]

I'm not gonna lie. I got put in a tough position. So I went to my. My best friend Kayla's birthday party, right? And she was telling me about this guy that she hoops with on Wednesdays. That's just a beast. Like, like your beast.

[A]

And.

[B]

And she was like, oh, you coached against him? And I'm like, oh, like, what's his name? And she's like, oh, no. By the time that we were playing that team, I was only coaching a girl. She's like, yeah, I know you coached against him. I said, how? Only coach girls. And then you got to tell me the story. I'm like, oh, it's this person. And I kept referring to that person as, like, a woman. And they're like, no, no, no, no.

[A]

He.

[B]

And they had to correct me, like, five or six times. I'm like, they had me in a blender. I like, he. She was.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

I was like, it was up. And he was a great player. I'm talking about, like, great rebounder, like, to the point that this. The same thing that he was doing when he played.

[A]

That boy still struggling.

[B]

The same thing that he was doing in high school, he doing now. He's deemed athletic still as a man. Yeah, right. That's how athletic he was when he was in high school.

[A]

There's a lot of emphasis on that.

[G]

Right.

[B]

You know what my new move is? Anytime I get caught in the pickle, I just go.

[A]

That boy was fighting for his life. It was just a lot of he and he.

[B]

It was like. It was. It was like. It was also like two lesbians at the table. So I'm like, trying not to make the mistake and like that. But he. He got the whole rebound.

[A]

I think there was a. A. A person that want. They want to go by day, day, them. And.

[B]

And day and night.

[A]

I said that. Say day. Yeah, Day. Day. Shout.

[B]

Hurry up. Shout out our African listeners out before.

[A]

Shout out to Ghana, Nigeria, all of them.

[B]

Ghana. Running it up right now.

[A]

Yeah. Up there on the charts.

[B]

That's my nation.

[A]

That one is a little bit harder for me. Like, that's why I just usually just say their name.

[B]

Yes, yes.

[A]

So it's because it just doesn't flow, like, like, naturally in my sentences. I can't be like, oh, they coming for, like, one person or something like that. Oh, my bad. Freaky Pat. Freaky Pat in the chat.

[B]

No.

[A]

What?

[B]

They going for that, too. No, but the. The thing about it, I like when they, like, their name is like, Sam or Chris or something like that. But no offense, but, like, when somebody's transitioning.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And two, like, let's say transitioning from a woman to a man. And they're still in the transition process of, like, oh, I want to go by Peter. And it's like, ah, it's gonna be tough. I'mma try.

[A]

Especially. It's like, a lot of them do, like, their names kind of match, like, the boy version sometimes, or the girl version of their name sometimes.

[B]

Yes, yes, yes.

[A]

I see a lot of that.

[B]

Yes. But. But sometimes, like, they got to change their whole name. It's like, oh, I had this type of name.

[A]

Oh, Brolla. Huh? Brolla. Who? Brolla Borella.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Is it. That's her. I think her official name is Scarface, though.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Somebody corrected me.

[A]

I didn't. I think. But I think you were right, too, though, that people were calling Brolla, though.

[B]

Oh, you. Yeah, okay. I knew I was right. But she said she made, like, 500k or something like that.

[A]

Like 200k. I don't believe that, but 200k? Yeah.

[B]

I believe she's seen 200k.

[A]

She definitely made some money. She did some interviews. I do think she made some money.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

But I don't think she made 200k.

[B]

If I see a Vlad interview, then I believe that she up there.

[A]

She'll do a Vlad. Some. Something like that. One of those days. But she did, like, she done. I feel like I've seen her on the Internet, but I don't know. It's. I guess it's working out for her. She's doing, like, memes and skits and like that. I know she's not doing those skits for free.

[B]

The. The up part about it is for glow is it's okay now, right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

She can kind of ignore it. Let her sister get her money, and her sister gonna die down.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

But if Glorilla ever goes to a controversy now, Borilla.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Gets to now rake up all the money from the controversy. Like, so if Glorilla, you know, she's happy with Brandon Ingram, I hope they stay together forever, had kids, babies, whatever, blah, blah. If they ever go through a breakup and there's some drama involved now Borilla is activated.

[A]

Yeah. She'll make another 200k.

[B]

Yeah. She literally. She literally about to go get a taper and, like, go crazy. Crazy. I thought I saw Barilla playing one on one at the Unrivaled this weekend.

[A]

No. Oh, my gosh. We're gonna end the pod there anyway, man. Appreciate y' all for supporting the pod. Make sure you guys get the live show tickets. They are going quickly. Go get your tickets. Indiana, St. Louis. We. We're there next week. Legit next week. Yeah, legit next week.

[B]

That's next week. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I might not be there.

[A]

Nah, it's crazy. Now you're gonna mess with the ticket sales. I don't want to just go see Mike.

[B]

No, listen, Listen, listen. I want to tell y', all just be real, and I. This is coming from the Chicago people. Learn your lesson, bro. A lot of people buy their tickets late, and a lot of people, like, it's gonna be a surge. So it's like, you probably go there, look at it, and then you probably put it in your cart, and, like, I'm not gonna get it. I will wait. I'll wait. I'm telling you about, like, three days from. From it happening is gonna be sold out. So go get your tickets now. I'm telling you, I don't want to see. Oh, man. I was supposed to come to the show and shout out to dude that skipped our show to go to his son tumbling event.

[A]

Hey, somebody brings me some Indiana or. Or St. Louis. Somebody bring me some gummies.

[B]

Gummies? Like what?

[A]

Oh, like candy gummies. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

You actually take, like. Like, candy. Like, unwrapped candy from, like, not unwrapped, bro.

[A]

You just said unwrapped. I never said that. I'm talking about, like, ones you can get from the store, like a pack of Starbursts or something.

[B]

I'm just saying you would trust them.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, I trust them.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah, I trust y', all, man.

[B]

Shout out to my Indian animals. We going. We gonna be there. Shout out to. Shout out to Birmingham. Everybody said that I was wrong about Birmingham having straw hats in flannels, but I wasn't wrong about it only being seven people there because only 12 y' all bought tickets.

[A]

So prove me wrong. All right, y'. All. Peace.