Crash Dummies Podcast with Pat and Mike
Episode: Our Listeners Are Delusional - Episode 219
Release Date: August 13, 2025
Introduction
In Episode 219 of the Crash Dummies Podcast, hosts Patrick Johnson (Pat) and Michael Esiobu (Mike) engage in their trademark blend of humor and candid discussions on a variety of topics. The episode delves into everything from technology mishaps and social media trends to personal insecurities and listener interactions. Below is a comprehensive summary capturing the key points, notable quotes, and the overall flow of the conversation.
Technology Troubles and Robot Nicknames [00:01 – 03:00]
Pat begins the episode by venting about his frustrations with Amazon's Alexa and Echo devices, citing instances where they acted autonomously, such as playing unexpected baseball highlights while he was cooking.
Pat [00:30]: "One time I was cooking and it started playing a video of some baseball highlights. Didn't ask that because I don't give a."
This leads to a humorous discussion about derogatory nicknames for robots, with Pat brainstorming names like "Clanker" and "Wireback," while Mike points out potential racial connotations.
Mike [01:07]: "Wireback sounds racist."
Despite the controversial suggestions, the hosts find amusement in their creative process.
Merchandise Update [03:00 – 04:00]
Pat and Mike briefly address the overwhelming demand for their merchandise, acknowledging that their items sold out quickly after the announcement. They reassure listeners that shipments will commence shortly and hint at upcoming designs, specifically catering to female fans.
Pat [03:00]: "I ain't getting no DMs from the women."
Mike [03:23]: "We're shipping out by the end of this week. Make sure you guys subscribe to Patreon."
Blind Rank: Relationship Scenarios [04:00 – 10:04]
The core segment involves a "blind rank" game where Pat, Mike, and Gene evaluate how upset they'd be if their girlfriends said certain things. Rated on a scale of 1 to 5, scenarios range from lying to make someone jealous to losing a phone.
Pat [05:06]: "That's number one. You basically like saying that you did an action of what you assumed that I was going to be."
Through this segment, the hosts explore relationship boundaries and communication challenges with humor and relatability.
Driving Habits and City Comparisons [10:04 – 25:00]
Pat shares his recent realization about his aggressive driving tendencies, attributing them to his "driving clarity." This sparks a broader conversation comparing driving behaviors in Milwaukee and Chicago, highlighting the frustration with reckless drivers and the unique challenges each city presents.
Mike [23:45]: "I think there's no better feeling than plans getting canceled that you didn't want to participate in."
The discussion emphasizes patience, safety, and the prevalent aggressive driving culture in Milwaukee.
Music Industry Insights [25:00 – 21:00]
Mike and Pat analyze the shifting landscape of music sales, noting that first-week sales aren't as indicative of an album's success as they once were. They reference artists like Lil Wayne and YB to illustrate how marketing strategies and fan bases influence sales figures.
Pat [19:30]: "They just saying is based on skill."
This segment critiques the current state of music promotions and the unrealistic expectations set by traditional sales metrics.
Listener Callers: Personal Insecurities [21:00 – 60:00]
Caller 1: The Small Penis Insecurity [21:00 – 60:00]
A listener shares a poignant story about feeling insecure due to having a small penis, exacerbated by a conversation with an ex-girlfriend who questioned his self-worth.
Caller 1 [42:10]: "I thought I was average, but going into this, I'm like, damn, am I not average?"
Pat and Mike offer supportive albeit humorous responses, discussing the impact of physical insecurities on personal relationships and self-esteem.
Caller 2: I Hate It When My Partner Doesn't Curse [60:00 – 72:00]
Another caller expresses frustration over their significant other’s lack of profanity, seeking advice on how to address this aspect of their relationship.
Caller 2 [50:00]: "I hate the fact that he doesn't curse at all, like, ever."
The hosts engage in a lighthearted debate about communication styles in relationships, blending humor with genuine advice.
New Segment: Try Not to Laugh [72:00 – 85:00]
Introducing a fresh interactive element, Pat and Mike launch the "Try Not to Laugh" challenge. They play clips intended to elicit laughter while attempting to suppress their own reactions. The segment features humorous audition tapes and amusing interactions, showcasing the hosts' comedic chemistry.
Gene [74:27]: "You're a transgender, and you're gay."
Pat [76:38]: "That's a classic video."
Despite attempts to maintain composure, both hosts find themselves laughing, adding to the episode's entertaining atmosphere.
Social Media and Advice Culture [85:00 – 89:48]
The conversation shifts to social media's evolving features, specifically Instagram's location services. Pat criticizes the platform's continual updates without user demand, while Mike laments the lack of transparency regarding follower dynamics.
Mike [78:39]: "Why does anybody want to know anybody's location like that on the Internet when we already have like the Apple location stuff like that?"
They further discuss the pitfalls of unsolicited advice, emphasizing the importance of receiving guidance tailored to one's unique circumstances.
Final Thoughts and Wrap-Up [89:48 – 91:01]
As the episode concludes, Pat and Mike reflect on the day's discussions, encourage listeners to engage via YouTube and Patreon, and promote upcoming merchandise restocks. They express gratitude towards their audience, highlighting the value of listener feedback and interaction.
Pat [90:37]: "Keep commenting on the YouTube videos. Even though the ones that be hating sometimes."
Mike [91:01]: "Peace."
Notable Quotes
- Pat [00:30]: "One time I was cooking and it started playing a video of some baseball highlights. Didn't ask that because I don't give a."
- Mike [01:07]: "Wireback sounds racist."
- Pat [05:06]: "That's number one. You basically like saying that you did an action of what you assumed that I was going to be."
- Caller 1 [42:10]: "I thought I was average, but going into this, I'm like, damn, am I not average?"
- Pat [07:00]: "You knew this would make me mad, and you still did it."
- Gene [74:27]: "You're a transgender, and you're gay."
Conclusion
Episode 219 of the Crash Dummies Podcast offers a blend of humor, personal anecdotes, and insightful discussions that resonate with listeners navigating modern-day scenarios and personal challenges. Pat and Mike's chemistry and candid approach make complex topics accessible and entertaining, ensuring that both longtime fans and newcomers find value and laughter in their dialogue.
Note: This summary excludes advertisements, intros, outros, and non-content segments to focus solely on the episode's substantive discussions.