Pill Ladies - Episode 269

Summary

Crash Dummies Podcast with Pat and Mike

Episode 269: "Pill Ladies"

July 29, 2026

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Episode Overview

Pat Johnson and Michael Esiobu (Pat and Mike) return with their lively blend of humor, hot takes, and off-the-cuff social commentary—this time joined by regulars like Carrie and a rotating cast of co-hosts. They dive into pop culture, navigate wild relationship hypotheticals, interact with listener call-ins, and riff on everything from movies and dating apps to personal dilemmas and awkward social media moments. The episode leans into the “scenario that probably will never happen” shtick, keeping the banter fast, irreverent, and sometimes paradoxical.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Social Media Etiquette & “Need That Top” (00:57–02:29)

• Mike opens up about the anxiety of commenting on another guy’s shirt on Instagram, sharing his failed attempts to write something cool without sounding weird.
  • Memorable Moment: Mike’s struggle with “need that top”—a phrase he realizes has unexpected connotations.
  • Carrie chimes in: “I didn’t even know guys called it a top. That’s what’s so crazy. I thought it’s just a shirt for y’all.” (02:29)
• The group reflects on how complicated it’s become to compliment peers on social media as a man.

2. The Odyssey Movie Review & Spoiler Debate (05:39–10:21)

• Pat reviews the movie "Odyssey," talking about its cast, practical effects (minimal CGI), and its linkage to Greek mythology (Trojan horse, Cyclops).
  • Notable Quote: “I think the other part that really made the movie really pop, the non-use of CGI or very minimum CGI, it’s like very practical camera work…” (10:05, Pat)
• Carrie expresses Oscar FOMO (“I hate when the Oscars come around and I’ve never seen the movies”), which leads into a sidebar about film criticism and ignoring reviews.
  • “Don’t listen to people’s movie reviews. Like whatsoever. Just ask a person, is it good enough to go watch?” (11:12, Mike)

3. LeBron James’ “Ring Chasing” and NBA Rumors (11:28–13:22)

• The crew debates LeBron’s latest team switch, the idea of “ring chasing,” and the performative nature of modern sports decisions, referencing how media leaks and documentaries shape narratives.

4. Movie Trailers & The Theater Experience (13:27–17:18)

• Nostalgia erupts over watching trailers at theaters and how, pre-Internet, movies felt more special.
  • Mike and Nick talk about how scary movie trailers are more interesting and how subtitles can inadvertently spoil plot twists.
  • “For thrillers, I have to turn off subtitles...it’ll say ‘monster hissing’ before you even see it.” (17:25, Mike)

5. Relationship Hypotheticals: Weight Gain & Lifestyle Changes (23:08–29:50)

• A classic "what would you do" scenario: if your partner gained 100+ lbs (without pregnancy or trauma), would you stay? The crew debates honesty, lifestyle alignment, and subtle “interventions” (walks, meal prep).
  • “Sometimes it might say something about the person that let somebody get to, like, 100 pounds heavier.” (26:16, Pat)
  • Carrie and Pat discuss the sensitive nature of approaching weight gain in a relationship and the fine line between support and shaming.

6. Pill Ladies: Addiction, Sobriety, and Friendship Fallout (49:07–56:45)

• Call-In Segment: “Alex” shares a story of losing a friend to drug addiction—a former pill user himself who grew apart from a hometown buddy addicted to cocaine.
  • Memorable Quote: “He proceeds to give me the, you know, the dollar bill...and I was like, ‘Slow your roll, buddy. I’ma take my zans, you know?’” (50:18, Alex)
  • They discuss recovery, triggers, and the impossibility of judging others’ choices from within addiction.
  • Funny moment: Mike jokes, “He just snorted a line and said, ‘shut your ass up!’" (55:19)

7. “Minimum Love” Theory and College Relationships (57:32–62:02)

• “Chris,” a 19-year-old in college, claims “loving your girlfriend to a minimum is the key to a happy relationship.”
  • Pat and Mike roast him for inexperienced advice (“Nothing at 19 matters, bro. This whole year is a wash, give it up.” (59:40, Mike)), ultimately encouraging detachment from campus-level drama.

8. Wild Listener Call-ins: Dilemmas & Broken Friendships (34:00–80:33)

• Several candid calls cover dramatic situations: getting caught in crossfire over a friend’s beef, friends with benefits gone emotionally wrong, and revenge sex between lesbian and bisexual partners.
  • Memorable Story: Jean shares waking up to her girlfriend clapping cheeks with a coworker at a lingerie party, later reclaiming her strap-on and claiming revenge with the ex’s male friends (75:31–79:26).
  • Key Quote: “That’s why sometimes these hypotheticals are always hard...there’s so many things I would try to do before it got to that point.” (26:16, Pat)

9. Pop Culture & Kids’ Movies Riff (89:17–95:50)

• The gang riffs on “Air Bud” and other classic dog movies, lightly interrogating the racial subtext ("I don’t know too many Black families with a golden retriever..." (93:10, Carrie)).
  • Carrie reveals she was more of a Nickelodeon kid, favoring Rugrats and Moesha over live-action Disney.

10. Dating Apps, Bios, and Millennial Disappointment (100:15–104:55)

• Disillusionment with dating apps, bios that mismatch intentions, and the paradox of wishing for long-term relationships in a hookup atmosphere.
  • “There should be a category on dating apps for ‘not ready for relationships’—but no matter what, someone’s going to infiltrate it.” (100:25, Mike)

11. Tweet of the Week: Memes, Pet Peeves, and Viral Culture (89:39–122:04+)

• Hilarious tweets fuel riffing: big feet and shared shoes, the perils of social media oversharing, and people going Live with only one viewer.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Mike (reluctantly complimenting a guy): “Need that top. I took it too far.” (02:19)
• Pat (on movie trailers): “When you saw a trailer for a movie that was coming out next year, we weren’t in the Internet age back then...you really had some information.” (14:13)
• Carrie (on Oscars FOMO): “I always hate when the Oscars come around and I never have seen the movies…” (10:34)
• Pat (on lending friends shoes): “You could have jumped over that puddle, bro. Why are you walking through dirt roads in my shoes?” (106:41)
• Jamal (on friendship ending): “I guess I got him shot at. But not really though...I visited him at the hospital. Had his backpack for a month. He’s never responded. Nothing, honest.” (32:38–34:00)
• Alex (on sobriety): “Ambition is ladies.” (52:44)
• Jean (after wild break-up revenge): “I got my lick back when I fucked her homeboy she’s known since kindergarten. And her plug. And her other homeboy.” (78:37)
• Ryan (on being blocked by a best friend): “I remember she would talk to me every day...and then one day, I woke up, and I was blocked.” (81:08–82:14)
• Mike (on 19-year-old’s relationship advice): “Nothing at 19 matters, bro. This whole year is a wash—just give it up.” (59:40)
• Mike (on dating app bios): “There’s still going to be a nigga like, nah, I want the long-term relationship baddies—they way better.” (100:37)

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Timestamps of Important Segments

• Social Media Comment Anxiety: 00:57–03:21
• Odyssey Movie Review: 05:39–10:21
• LeBron’s Move & Media Hype: 11:28–13:22
• Movie Theater Nostalgia & Trailers: 13:27–15:55
• Relationship Weight Hypothetical: 23:08–29:50
• Addiction, Pill Ladies, & Friendship: 49:07–56:45
• Young Love & Minimum Effort Theory: 57:32–62:02
• Wild Call-In Dilemmas: 34:00–80:33
• Classic Kids Movie Riffs: 89:17–95:50
• Dating Apps and Bio Disappointments: 100:15–104:55
• Viral Tweet Rap Up: 89:39–122:04

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Episode Tone

Playful, occasionally crude, relentless in its observational humor and self-deprecation. The hosts keep it brutally honest, veering from advice to storytelling to roasting, but always loop back to friendship and pop culture roots.

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Summary Takeaway

“Pill Ladies” showcases Crash Dummies’ knack for mixing hilariously trivial pop culture riffs with real talk about relationships and personal choices—in their signature unfiltered style. It’s an episode best suited for fans who enjoy smart-dumb humor, a parade of quotables, and a reminder that sometimes the best way to handle life’s big dilemmas is to laugh through them.

Transcript

[Mike]

So good, so good, so good.

[Carrie]

New markdowns up to 70% off are at Nordstrom Rack stores now. Stock up and save big on shoes, tops, dresses, accessories and more must haves for summer. Join the nordiclub to unlock exclusive discounts. Shop new arrivals first and more. Plus, buy online and pick up at your favorite rack store for free. Great brands, great prices. That's why you rack. This episode is brought to you by Facebook.

[Mike]

So you were scrolling on Marketplace, and

[Jean]

there it was, the bike you'd been searching for.

[Carrie]

You sent a message and it turned

[Mike]

out the seller was super chatty, kind

[Carrie]

of funny, and an avid cyclist.

[Mike]

The next thing you know, you're in a cycling crew.

[Carrie]

Well, a community cycling group.

[Jean]

The thing about Facebook, you might find

[Mike]

more than what you're looking for.

[Carrie]

From a browse to a bike ride this summer. Find more on Facebook.

[Mike]

I was commenting on a designer I know broke Life. I was commenting on his post. He had a shirt on that I liked. And I typed out a comment and I deleted all three comments. And I'm just like, man, it's a fucked up pause era we live in. I didn't feel comfortable with any of these. I'm not going to lie. I started off hot. And then like at the end, it was just like I was reaching, but I just felt like I was in that realm over there. So my first one was need that fire emoji, but he was modeling his old stuff.

[Pat]

So I'm like, oh, no, that's a reach.

[Jean]

Is it?

[Pat]

I would say that's a little reach.

[Carrie]

You could have said it.

[Mike]

Need that.

[Carrie]

Yes.

[Mike]

Okay. And then the second one, I kind of. I was like, oh, no, no, no, no. I don't want him to think that one. I need that. Like him or he had other stuff on and I only want the shirt. And I said, neath that top.

[Pat]

Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mike]

That was a little crazy. Hold on, wait.

[Pat]

Why did you say, leave that shirt, bro?

[Mike]

But that's what I went to the last. I was like, duh ne that shirt. But then I'm like, I'm so thrown off that I just said, need that top.

[Pat]

I'm like, I'm already on some freaky.

[Mike]

I'm trying to get the nigga undressed or what, you know? So I just like, I'm just leave it alone. And I just put fire emojis.

[Pat]

Like it n. You make being a guy too complicated now.

[Mike]

Need that top. I took it too far.

[Pat]

Crazy. Need that top is a little crazy. I won't lie.

[Carrie]

I didn't even Know, guys called it a top. That's what's so crazy. I thought it's just a shirt for y'.

[Ryan]

All.

[Gene]

Exit.

[Mike]

All right.

[Pat]

Yeah, that's why it's a little crazy, cuz top is like a category that you find on websites.

[Nick]

Yeah, it depends on. Like, yeah, we talking about fashion is different, but.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Yeah, I was just trying to, you know, like, I feel like when you comment on social media, you sometimes get in trouble because you try to sound different. Like you ever topped a regular comment. You just. Like, this sounds very generic. I want to use a different word or maybe use a little bit more slang. So I'm just trying to be different. Yeah, need that top. Fire emoji.

[Ryan]

Like.

[Mike]

Like, I heard about the shit before.

[Pat]

I think your biggest. Your biggest fear is just a podcast listen. Or finding it.

[Mike]

No, they would never let me live that, though. There's certain shit that I didn't even say that they say. I said. Y' all know what the fuck y' all talking about.

[Pat]

That's not what we're doing.

[Mike]

Hello.

[Pat]

Wait, the radio is for people who are driving. Welcome to Crash Dummies podcast. Anyway, welcome to Crash Dummies episode. Is this 269?

[Nick]

Yeah. Wow.

[Carrie]

Wow.

[Pat]

That was crazy.

[Mike]

Crazy immature me. Okay. That was immature as hell. All right, come on now.

[Pat]

Welcome to Crash Dummies. Make sure, you guys. We got live shows. Most of the dates are live. Hopefully the Florida dates are live, but every other date should be live. So go to crash dummies live.com Patreon is live. Is still 50% off for like two more days. When you guys hear this, when's Wednesday is going to be the 31st or the first? No.

[Jean]

Right?

[Mike]

No, it's like 39th, 29th.

[Pat]

29th. A couple more days to get half

[Mike]

off, we'll be in Toronto, too.

[Pat]

Yeah, we'll be in Toronto. So if anything, we should do like a little meet and greet or something there. Yeah, Sell some merch. Merch is still alive. Yeah. Pat's here, Jean's here, Carrie's here. And I want to call Carrie off or something because she has a new strategy today because you guys already know. We call her out for not being hydrated, Right. And obviously the lore starts from her going out with her friends and her. Them. Her ruining the night because she wasn't hydrated enough.

[Carrie]

I was the victim, but.

[Pat]

But now she has a new strategy of coming in with a flask so we can't see the level of water.

[Carrie]

Not a flask.

[Pat]

What is it?

[Carrie]

What would you call that it's like a. A water.

[Mike]

That said a flask. That's definitely not a flask.

[Pat]

What is that?

[Mike]

A flask is like the little liquor bottle. Like the little canteen.

[Nick]

Your little pocket shirt.

[Pat]

No, that's not. That's a flask. Can be like that too.

[Carrie]

Water bottle. There's like.

[Pat]

There's 24 ounces flask.

[Mike]

N. That ain't a flask though.

[Pat]

No, that's a flask. But now we can't see how much water she's drink she drank or not. So I get it.

[Carrie]

You clock it.

[Pat]

No, I knew. I knew exactly what she doing.

[Mike]

Yeah. Ain't nothing but air in that.

[Carrie]

No, I need to blow it now.

[Pat]

That.

[Mike]

That should feel. Ice that filled with root beer. She thought about hydrated. If I put some ice cream in that, that gonna overflow.

[Pat]

I finally saw Odyssey. I saw it in imax. Really good movie. The only thing that threw me off at the beginning was seeing and this is amazing by everybody because I didn't see it online. They didn't say anything. Travis Scott in the first opening scene kind of threw me off at first.

[Carrie]

That's all spoiler.

[Mike]

That's all I saw. Yeah, that's what I think. That's why people aren't saying it because it is kind of a spoiler.

[Jamal]

Yeah.

[Mike]

To say. To say he's in it and then

[Pat]

like he's doing like new stuff that he's in and now he's been on Jimmy Kimmel before the movie came out.

[Mike]

That's crazy. They had two Batmans in the movie. You like that was a star studded ass cast.

[Nick]

You know what that reminds me of?

[Chris]

What?

[Nick]

When Chris Brown died in the beginning of. What's that movie Yard Cuz. Everybody knew Chris Brown was in the movie.

[Pat]

Oh man.

[Carrie]

Promoted that movie.

[Pat]

People were main role. I saw people leaving the theaters because Chris Brown died.

[Mike]

But that makes sense though. Like if you know. Okay, if somebody tells me Travis Scott is in any like this type of genre, I know for sure he has to be doing somewhat of what he does in real life. Like they're just going to translate it somehow. But you told me Chris Brown is in a movie about dancing. And this nigga dies first scene. Nigga, somebody at the movie theater is going to die. First scene. Where's people?

[Pat]

People were pissed. But then I think people. Some people stayed because they still thought like some random way the story is going to be tied around him and he'll be back. Some shit.

[Mike]

It's a pop locking zombie. Just took his head off.

[Pat]

But I feel like Odyssey was a really good movie, but I think this was one of the movies that actually made me want to go to the theaters. And I feel like there hasn't been that many movies that be like, I need to go to the theaters to see this. Like, what was the last movies for. For some of y' all that y' all was like, I need to go to the theaters to see this.

[Carrie]

Definitely. Sinners.

[Pat]

Sinners is another one.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Sinners. But yeah, just talking about the Odyssey, he just got away with too much. Like he was fucking a whole nother girl. He know, he remembers shit. He gonna keep. He gonna keep eating the flower and shit.

[Pat]

Nice. Out of context.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Carrie]

Okay, but wait, can you kind of break down what is the movie about? Because I want to go see it, but I don't think I'm really into like those war fighting type of.

[Pat]

It's like the same story that's been told. Ancient Greece.

[Mike]

Yeah. The story already exists.

[Pat]

The Troy. The Trojan horse.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Pat]

You know, people going to Trojan horse,

[Nick]

hearing of the story.

[Chris]

Yes.

[Mike]

You don't. You've never heard of the Trojan horse?

[Carrie]

I mean, I've heard of it. I don't know.

[Mike]

What is the Trojan horse?

[Carrie]

The condoms.

[Mike]

No trolling right now.

[Nick]

Right.

[Carrie]

But I have heard of a Trojan horse. I just didn't know where it came from.

[Mike]

The fame, like, just like the famous scene. Just. I don't know if you know this or not. I'm not trying to mansplain this shit to you. I feel like you set me up. But is when like soldiers hit in a horse and they hit it like, as a gift to get inside the walls. And then they broke out of the horse and attacked. It's like the famous attack.

[Carrie]

Okay.

[Mike]

So just like some people use it as a metaphor. Yeah.

[Pat]

And sometimes the movie was just like the consequences of that war. And basically the guy, Odysseus or whatever his name was trying to find his way back after the war. And it's kind of like that middle part of like.

[Carrie]

Did you go with your lady?

[Pat]

Yes.

[Carrie]

Did she like it?

[Pat]

Yes.

[Carrie]

Okay, I'm gonna go see it.

[Mike]

No, no, it's fire.

[Pat]

It's like, it's really good storytelling.

[Mike]

What's the damn, Chris? Christopher Nolan.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

He's like. You know, a lot of people get mad because these stories, you can kind of own flavor to it because they're. They're written so long ago, so you can take any text. Those stories are way longer, so you're not going to hit every detail. So as a director you can kind of take the details you want from the book that you like and then apply it to yourself. Because there's a lot of people pulling out because the movie was made before, like, a long, long time ago. And there's a lot of people like, oh, he up this scene. He up this scene.

[Pat]

It was a book, too. And, like, other adaptations of it, too. Like Troy, I would say it was like, kind of like that.

[Carrie]

I've heard of that. Okay.

[Pat]

There was a cyclops in it.

[Carrie]

Okay.

[Mike]

Yeah. Oh, man.

[Pat]

And if there was a cycle, there was a cyclops scene. Obviously there's like. There's. You saw the movie, so this would make more sense to you. Where, like when you got stabbed in the eye.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And in the original book or that happened. He really said that. Who's. There was another cyclops, too. And it's like, who. Who attacked you? And he said, nobody, because the cyclops name was. Was nobody. So it was just kind of like. It was like the comedic timing in that. In the book.

[Mike]

Got it.

[Pat]

And I don't think he wanted to add that part to it.

[Mike]

No, no, he kept that serious.

[Pat]

And I think the. I think the other part that really made the movie really pop, the use of, like, well, the. The non use of CGI or very minimum cgi, it's like very practical camera work. And I think that's what. And even, like, there's some scenes you'll see and you'll be like, damn, that was. That wasn't cgi. That wasn't cgi.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Like, they use like, for, like to make the giants and the. Making them look a little shorter. They use stunt doubles that were like 5ft tall and then really tall. People that are like 7, 6, 7. That type of stuff.

[Carrie]

Like, you know, I'm interested in seeing it too, just because I always hate when the Oscars come around. And I never have seen the mov movies that.

[Pat]

No, the Oscars be kind of like tripping me out sometimes.

[Carrie]

What is this?

[Pat]

There'd be a lot of movies where I'm like, what? But then I think sometimes that makes me want to go watch the movies. Like the last Oscars. I think Hammett won a lot of Oscars, and I went and watched it and I thought it was a pretty. It was pretty good.

[Carrie]

Like, one battle after another. I haven't seen that one, but.

[Pat]

Oh, really?

[Carrie]

They said that that one was good.

[Pat]

You didn't see Tiana Taylor?

[Carrie]

I did. They said her role was, like, you know, iffy.

[Pat]

But I would say she was like in the. She wasn't in it as much. I would say one thing, I tell you, but there's a reason she wasn't in it.

[Mike]

Don't listen to people's movie reviews. Like, like whatsoever. Just like ask a person, is it good enough to go watch? Because some of these people, they get some shit, a 9 out of 10 and be complaining about one fucking part and they'd be like, I didn't like how this part went. Just like n. It's a good movie.

[Pat]

LeBron.

[Mike]

LeBron James, he chose.

[Carrie]

Are you happy?

[Mike]

Yeah. Are you happy?

[Carrie]

I'm. I think it's decent. I think it's fine. You know, some people are saying he's ring chasing obviously because the team is already pretty stack. But I was more so just surprised that it wasn't like a Cleveland or it wasn't a Miami.

[Mike]

Yeah, I think, I think that was his. I think that's what the holdup was. But I heard that it was always like Golden State or Philadelphia. So it was definitely about him like winning one more time. Yeah, I think.

[Carrie]

And I don't think he would have

[Pat]

won with Golden State.

[Alex]

Huh.

[Mike]

But I think Anthony Davis coming there, I think there was a trade that he wanted certain teams to pull off so that he would go there and those teams couldn't pull off those trades. So he went to the best option. That's just my opinion and what I heard. So. But. But we all could be wrong. Cause like the one thing I know about they camp is they kept that shit tight.

[Pat]

Yeah. I mean I honestly don't think Rich Paul knew his choice at the beginning.

[Mike]

I don't know. Go look, go look back at some of them tapes. Like the way he was talking about the 76ers the whole time is like

[Pat]

he knew but obviously he knew the options. But obviously I just think like when he's like when we have just like our agent, if we have something we want, like a decision we're going to make, he'll know the options of our decision. But obviously we're going to have to call him and be like, this is what we're leaning towards.

[Mike]

I just think it was like, not to say it was too performative, but it was performative like that like decision making process. Even when Shams announced like LeBron going there, he put Rich Paul's podcast in the tweet. So I just like, I think everything was like the build up and I think all that's going to be part of the documentary and it's going to look dope. So it's just like sometimes when you know a documentary is being filmed and you know somebody is shooting some shit, it's annoying, like knowing like LeBron is going to have his son in a documentary and then watch this nigga trying to pass from the ball the whole game. It just like we. So it's a little bit annoying watching it, but like in 10 years you're going to appreciate this shit. You hate, so you hate.

[Pat]

But one more thing about the movies, in a sense was that I came

[Mike]

the Nick, he brought up LeBron.

[Pat]

I did, I did, I did. But I knew we were going to go like too elaborate about the LeBron thing because it's just like, it's very like low hanging fruit type of topic right now. But I used to. Because I came to the movies when the commercial is over because it kind of gave me the thing that's like commercials, like 25 minutes to 30 minutes. And it made me think about when I was younger how I used to love watching the commercials before the movies.

[Carrie]

The trailers.

[Pat]

The trailers. Yeah.

[Carrie]

Okay.

[Pat]

The trailers before the movies. Because it would. Don't do that.

[Mike]

Commercials. No trailers.

[Carrie]

That's before this right there.

[Nick]

Early as

[Pat]

I'm seeing Mr. Marcus.

[Jamal]

Yeah.

[Mike]

With the state troopers.

[Pat]

But I used to love watching the trailers be when I was younger because you. When you saw a trailer for a movie that was coming out next year, we're not in the Internet age back then. So it's like you really have some information where you can take back to school and be like, you know, Spider Man, 20s come about to come out next week. But now it's like you don't really care about the trailers because it's. Everything's on the Internet. Did. Were you.

[Carrie]

I love watching the trailer still. Yeah, I love watching the trailers. I feel like I'm getting like multiple movies for one for the price of one ticket. You know what I mean? Nah, I feel like it feels like it though.

[Mike]

Only ones. Only ones. I really like. My bad.

[Nick]

I was gonna say, I think still they still present some of the trailers that you won't really regularly see on your algorithm and stuff like that.

[Mike]

Yeah, the only ones I like are the scary ones. Because it's like if I'm seeing a rom com movie trailer, it's just like I don't want to see that. You know what I'm saying? Just like it kind of is like it's too much. Because rom coms only can end one way. It's just like, oh, they either gonna fuck or one of them gonna die. Like, you know what I'm saying? No, but rom com romances, I'm saying, like any of those type of movies that have any romantic twist to it, like they either gonna be together or somebody gonna die where they can't be together. But like the scary movies, it just like, you get to kind of see that. That's what would draw me back to the theater. Trying to see the context of a scary movie, it's like, okay, it's based around this. Okay, I might go see it to see how it ends. To see if they survive. That's more.

[Pat]

I feel like a lot of the horror movies are kind of doing better these days because back then I didn't really like horror movies because the storylines didn't really ever seem interesting. It was just same like more jump scare. Jump scare. Jump scare, jump scare.

[Mike]

Like, oh, we gonna do Cabin in the fucking Woods. Come on, bro. Like, be creative.

[Pat]

She gonna go. Exactly. She gonna go and see what that noise was. Of course.

[Mike]

Yes.

[Pat]

What was that noise?

[Mike]

What was that noise? We in the cabin. The power went out the first day. It's okay, guys, we can stay. We got generators. Like, no, it's time to go.

[Carrie]

I'm just glad a lot of the paranormal activity ones are not in theaters anymore. They're not making new ones, to my knowledge, because I don't know, I feel like those are kind of played.

[Mike]

Yeah, now they're played. But when they first came out, my

[Pat]

Lord, you have to be a brave soul to go watch it in theaters too, man. I didn't like watching scary movies in theaters. I don't think. There's only like a handful. I saw. I like being like the cuff from my home. And I watch it during daytime.

[Carrie]

So you could be.

[Pat]

Not really, but it's just like, strike two characters.

[Mike]

I ain't gonna lie. I do. I do get. I have a habit of getting on my phone when like an intense part is coming up in a movie. Like, it don't matter what it is. It could be like a couple that's together and the dude doing something stupid and the girl around the corner, I'm like, ah, let me take her out my phone.

[Nick]

I don't.

[Mike]

I don't. I don't like that. Or if I know a scary part come up, I start pretending like, did my mom text me?

[Carrie]

I squint. I'd be like.

[Pat]

But I feel like now it's like, very predictable though. Like, you. When you start hearing that little rising tone in the music kind of happening, it's like, okay, something's about to happen.

[Mike]

Yeah, exactly.

[Nick]

Yeah. My girl likes watching the subtitles. So I always get like a little step ahead, you know, and my self defense mechanism is to be like, like almost to kind of like, you know, say what's gonna happen? Like watch this, watch this.

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah, Here we go.

[Mike]

For thrillers, I have to turn off subtitles.

[Pat]

Oh really?

[Mike]

Yeah, because it'll be like a. A guy, he's creeping around the corner and. But he doesn know what it is yet. And then it says it's like some hissing and then in parentheses. Monster. Hissing. It's a monster sometimes.

[Pat]

And sometimes it's a little bit ahead because the same scenario that you put what? Sometimes, sometimes it's a little ahead because like the same scenario where it's like they hear the noise and it'll be like gunshot in the. Before the gunshot kind of happens because like they don't know how to break off the sentences with the scene sometimes. So like this it'll be a long ass sentence with the subtit. Like with the dialogue. Dialogue, dialogue. And then gunshot. But the gunshot hasn't happened yet. So it's like. Oh, fuck. That kind of ruined it for me.

[Mike]

It's like a husband. It's like a husband coming home in a movie and it's like sex sounds upstairs with his wife. But he doesn't know yet.

[Pat]

Fuck.

[Mike]

Just tell me all this.

[Carrie]

Do you need the subtitles for everything you watch nowadays? I don't.

[Pat]

Yeah, I do. My.

[Mike]

I don't.

[Carrie]

No, I don't. I don't like subtitles.

[Mike]

What the fuck?

[Pat]

Honestly, I guess I'm saying I know

[Carrie]

a lot of people who literally say now that they can't watch a movie or watch any type of show without having the subtitles. And I don't get that.

[Pat]

There was a theory behind that too that they think they're making movies with really bad sound quality on purpose. So people. But I do now because my girl does. So that's the only reason. Like I'm used to it now, but I think her reason was like there's some like American lingo sometimes that she just rather like exact know exactly what people are saying.

[Carrie]

Got it.

[Chris]

It.

[Carrie]

Because that you got me, bro. I'm still over here laughing.

[Mike]

You guys do that? Because I don't.

[Pat]

We be elitist. Elitist with a caption. Now she a caption. Elitist.

[Mike]

Are you guys stupid? Because I'm not. I don't need that. I can pay it 10. Yo. Let's take a quick break from today's episode to thank the sponsor of today's podcast earnings.

[Pat]

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[Mike]

It's absurd how we treat money versus how we treat everything else. In this instant access era, we're still just accepting. Waiting on paychecks as normal. If I want to watch a new movie, I can pop over to my favorite streaming services and watch it or instantly rent it with a click from an online website. Think about how wild it is that we work, then wait, then get paid. That's the deal we just accepted. But you can literally get anything else instantly. Groceries, takeout, setting up an appointment. 5 million people have already made the switch, and at this point, the old way is starting to look like the

[Pat]

weird option Download earning on the App Store or the Google Play spelled like earning money without the G. Type in crash dummies under podcast. When you sign up, it will really help the show. Mandatory disclaimers 1. Earning is a financial technology company, not a bank. 2. Access limits are based on your earnings and risk factors. Standard cash outs take one to two business days with no mandatory fees. 3. Expedited transfers available for a fee. Tips are voluntary and don't affect the service. And 4. Available in select states. Terms and restrictions apply. Visit earnin.com for full details. Now back to the pod.

[Mike]

Bonjour, compadre.

[Carrie]

It's the Priceline negotiator.

[Pat]

How do I negotiate so many great travel deals? My greatest gadget, the Priceline app. It's got hotel deals, flight deals, rental car deals, all of those deals in a bundle deals, game day deals, concert trip deals. No one deals more deals than Priceline. Hold your horses, there's more. The app lets you filter hotels by neighborhood, vibe, star level and amenities like pools and spas and beach fronts and. Wait, I'm not done.

[Mike]

Stop cutting me up.

[Pat]

You're talking about. You're talking about. You're talking about some new movie before, like New Toy Story last Week we're talking. Yeah.

[Carrie]

I still haven't seen Toy Story. Like, what, five?

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

But you're saying you don't really with it because the. The new. The new graphics.

[Carrie]

I think that the old school way that people would film movies and TV just felt more. I don't know, it just felt better to watch.

[Pat]

No, I. I kind of feel that because the new animation, like, especially, like, the new SpongeBob. It's all clear. Yeah, too clear. It's like. It's almost like, you know, you're watching, like, HD porn in a sense. I'm just saying, like, you rather watch some amateur than see some in 4K.

[Mike]

No, that is true crazy compared to,

[Pat]

like, why am I watching why.

[Jamal]

Or the.

[Mike]

Or the house a little bit too nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ain't no clothes on the floor. The laundry b. Get empty now. Come on, now. What we doing? What we doing? Y' all not even trying. God damn. Throw a dish in the sink. This should be too clean, though.

[Pat]

It's too high quality.

[Mike]

That's. That's when I stop. I stop watching porn, bro.

[Pat]

You have to.

[Mike]

I stop watching porn when I start recognizing sets, and I'm like, wait a minute.

[Jamal]

What?

[Pat]

Cuz, you near. Too far.

[Mike]

I seen this bedroom before.

[Carrie]

Too far in the back.

[Pat]

All that start using the same sets is like, bro, what.

[Mike]

I'm like, I'm too deep in the game, man.

[Pat]

Yeah, you definitely got to leave the game. Once you. Once you go to page two of anything, it's like, all right.

[Mike]

No real, bro.

[Pat]

It's like, if you go to pace, it's like, all right, this is. You're done. You got to be done.

[Mike]

No, definitely got to be done.

[Pat]

Come on, bro. Go experience real life.

[Mike]

Fellas, fellas, if you met your girl at 132 and over the course of a year, she got to be 240, would you say stay in a comment said you asking about her salary, right? Would you stay?

[Pat]

Would I stay without.

[Mike]

Without pregnancy?

[Pat]

Yeah. Would I stay?

[Mike]

Pregnancy doesn't count.

[Nick]

One year.

[Mike]

One year.

[Alex]

No.

[Mike]

Like, no. No deaths in the family. Like, nothing. Like, crazy. Where you like, Ah, this is why.

[Pat]

That's always a hard one. Because it's like. Like, it's just not my. It's not my lifestyle. Like, I'm very active, and the person I'm with, that's kind of like the thing. I look for a very active lifestyle,

[Mike]

but it's saying that it just stopped for a year. And then some crazy weight gain happened.

[Pat]

But I feel like you see that happening.

[Mike]

I Feel like everybody in here would stay. But the. The question is, what the are you doing?

[Pat]

That's what I'm saying.

[Carrie]

That's the happy weight.

[Mike]

Yes, but what are you doing, though? There's no way you let him gain 120 pounds.

[Carrie]

I mean, sometimes, you know, if you're seeing a person every single day.

[Pat]

Yeah. You might not know.

[Carrie]

Gradually happen when you look back at pictures five months later, you're like, oh, I got big.

[Jamal]

No.

[Nick]

I don't know. Because the holidays come around, then you got to buy them like a xl. Instead of the media

[Mike]

tired of playing this. Guess again. You getting mad she's talking about it don't fit. I guess.

[Alex]

So

[Mike]

that's what I bought you. Like, now you can start asking cryptic ass questions. How come you don't wear that shirt I got you last year?

[Pat]

Well, that's true. I don't know.

[Mike]

I wouldn't like.

[Pat]

I feel like sometimes these questions are very, like, low vibration kind of questions.

[Chris]

No, that's.

[Mike]

No, but it's. But it's real. I think the would you stay part makes it low vibrational. If you love the. What would you do?

[Carrie]

You.

[Mike]

Is the. Is like the bigger question? Because it's. It very. Like, people's bodies change during that time. And then you as a person have to figure out, is their body a big part of why you're with them?

[Pat]

I feel like £100 on anybody would look very different.

[Mike]

Yes, it's very different. So it's just like. Do you say something? Is it like.

[Pat]

Yeah, I would say something.

[Mike]

What do you say?

[Pat]

Like, I feel like once you kind of get to the point where it's like. Even if it's like £50. Right. Right when you get to the point where it's like, all right, let's. I'm gonna start inviting her to the gym with me. I'm gonna start doing the same things I do now.

[Carrie]

You gotta sneak in walks.

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah. Sneak in walks. Meal press. I might just buy a meal prep for the whole family type of thing.

[Nick]

Yeah. This month.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Carrie]

Yeah.

[Mike]

I ain't gonna lie. I'mma sit on the edge of that bed. Like, I'm not gonna lie, baby.

[Pat]

I'm broke.

[Mike]

We came to four groceries this week, y'. All. I got a spinach or steak.

[Jean]

I.

[Mike]

Crazy, ain't it?

[Carrie]

No, you gotta. You gotta do a better job of trying. They get smaller, though. Like, it has to become your interest now.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Carrie]

You know, you got to be like, you know what? I just feel like walking after every meal now. You want to join me.

[Mike]

What if they say no?

[Carrie]

Come on. Anyway, I want to bond.

[Mike]

That is true. You got to kind of use it as, like, a dating thing.

[Pat]

That's why sometimes these type of hypotheticals are always hard. Because it's like, is there so many things, like, in my head, I just can't put myself in that position where it's like, there's so many things I would try to do to. Before the guy's point. Yeah. Because I feel like sometimes it might say something about the person that let somebody get. Get to, like, 100 pounds heavier. Because 100 pounds is a lot of weight to gain. Like. Like, it's not like, something that just happens, like, overnight.

[Mike]

But I feel like it's though, like. Like you said along the way, it has to be somewhat your fault as the other partner. Especially if y' all spending time with each other. It's just like, you gotta stop participating. You gotta, like, shame like, God damn, we going to McDonald's again.

[Carrie]

But what if y' all both getting bigger?

[Pat]

That's the different thing then.

[Mike]

That's. Yeah, that's everything. We. We've seen couples where they both got bigger, and only one of them is complaining about the other person's look. Literally saw that on the show. Dead ass. And they found out in real time that the other person knows that they gain weight too.

[Pat]

Crazy. It is a team thing, though. And even, like, there's even situations where one. And I think that can affect the relationship, because there's situations where one person in relationships going through, like, a really good weight loss kind of journey, and then the other person isn't. And sometimes that kind of, like, you

[Mike]

know, they're about to cheat on each other. No, no, no. I'm telling that person that's working out. If your partner working out without you, and they own, like, okay, it's a difference. Cause we talked about this before.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

If your partner's working out differently than you and maybe they lose, like, a little weight, that's different. But if your partner's embarking on a whole new journey and you're going the opposite direction, eating out one of them little workout niggas about the fucker good.

[Pat]

No, but I do think it's like a different. It's just like a difference in lifestyle. Like, it's just like, if you're a lifestyle, because obviously to lose weight is hard, and that means you're putting a lot of time into this. And it's like, I'm putting a lot of time into this, and we're not Putting.

[Carrie]

Well, do you care how they end up losing the weight?

[Mike]

No.

[Pat]

Oh, I guess. You mean if they took a shortcut that you're not willing to take or

[Carrie]

that you wouldn't, you know, prefer for them to take? Yeah.

[Mike]

What, like, would. What would I not.

[Pat]

I'm just saying.

[Carrie]

Or some like, if they took one of those. Yeah. I didn't know. Yeah. Brand. But something. Or something like that. Yeah.

[Mike]

No surgery.

[Nick]

Tell me.

[Mike]

Surgery would bother me. Like, surgery is just like you putting your life at risk for something that you can work for.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Mike]

I feel like that's irresponsible.

[Pat]

I still think there's still needs to be a main maintenance of like a lifestyle too. Like, there's still like a thing of like going to the gym. Like, even when you're doing those type of drugs, like, you still have to go and maintain. Like, there's still. It can always come back right away. So I still think like, the working out and I think there's like, been studies about this where it's like when couples. When you're in a relationship and one person is like, going through like, hey, I want to lose a hundred pounds, and other person is like, like Pat said, going in the opposite way. It does kind of cause like jealousy in the relationship where it's like, oh, you're going this, or you. You think you're, you know, you're getting this newfound attention maybe, and it might make them feel a little jealous.

[Mike]

Eating is a big part of relationships, right? No, but. But no, like, eating like, like when you think about your partner and spending time with them, like going out to restaurants, having meals at home, like, those are all dates. And like, those are some of the easiest days to do with your partner.

[Pat]

Partner.

[Mike]

And if y' all are eating separate meals or. Because you gotta look at if. If I'm a guy and I'm bringing home a burger and my girl trying to get in shape, like, ain't that kind of her up? I'm just putting this juicy burger in front of her face. This good as hell. Did you eating the kale salad again? I heard there's a recall on that.

[Pat]

Nice. Recalling everything?

[Mike]

No, they recall. They recall everything.

[Pat]

We had bad air quality. We couldn't eat lettuce. Lettuce.

[Jamal]

We.

[Pat]

We couldn't eat eggs.

[Mike]

Had recall on the air. Like, yo, the air you sucked in today.

[Pat]

Oh, my last. My last movie topic.

[Mike]

Oh, my God, I'm sick of this.

[Pat]

But I am glad that you can Google if there's end credits or not or there's like, A. A final scene after the credits.

[Mike]

Oh. Because there's been.

[Pat]

There's been multiple times when, you know. Know again, back in the day where you would sit through the credits at the end of a movie thinking there's there. You know, like the Marvel movies that have those end scenes at the end of the credit.

[Nick]

You can't Google it.

[Pat]

You have to Google it. Because I've been. I've been there stank before. Well, I've been there. Be like, you sat through this and you're waiting for that, and then the

[Mike]

lights just turn off. No, it's a light.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Mike]

You got to pay attention to the lights. That's the whole game. You're supposed to be surprised by it. It's supposed to be like, damn. Wait, the lights came up, but they ain't come up all the way.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

And it's like, oh, what's about to happen happen? And it's like, that's like the thrill of it. You're taking the thrill off this. No, you're supposed to let that.

[Nick]

You're supposed to do it for the love of the game.

[Pat]

You're supposed to watch this. I hate going. I. It happened to me with Sinners. I didn't know. I really talked about the. The movie with Pat. He's like. He's talking about some end scene. I was like, wait, he was. They came and met them at the. The bar at the end.

[Carrie]

I think everybody should stay and watch the credits regardless, because it gives the people who worked on the movie their shine.

[Pat]

No offense. Shout out to all the people that work on movies, but ain't nobody got time to read all that. My friend was in the movie. Like, the credits. I'm waiting till I see their name for sure.

[Mike]

I need actors. I need, like. I need, like, the top actor. Like somebody did good. I need directors, and I need executive producer. But after that.

[Carrie]

So just the first 20 seconds.

[Ryan]

I don't.

[Alex]

I don't.

[Pat]

Come on now. I respect the. The effort, the case to go into those movies, but I don't have to see the second colorist of the. The of the movie for real.

[Carrie]

Or just be there for the vibes of the soundtrack. Like the last.

[Pat]

The soundtrack sometime.

[Carrie]

Come on.

[Mike]

Soundtracks of Black Panther.

[Pat]

That's they it up.

[Carrie]

That was an amazing one, man. Shout out, Kendrick.

[Ryan]

All right.

[Pat]

That's my last movie topic, guys.

[Jamal]

Yo, bro. Hello.

[Pat]

You said that like you knew me.

[Jamal]

All right.

[Pat]

Welcome to CR Podcast.

[Jamal]

I a even be you.

[Mike]

Well, what you say?

[Pat]

I said welcome to Crash Podcast.

[Jamal]

Oh, thanks, man. I've Been trying to get on a

[Mike]

call for a while.

[Pat]

You know what that means, bro?

[Nick]

Good luck.

[Jamal]

What that mean, Good luck? Something like that.

[Pat]

All right, I got a question for you. What's the real reason your last. What's the real reason your last friendship ended?

[Jamal]

I think it's cuz, I guess I got him shot at. But not really though. Like, it was a situation going on. I was already, I'm saying it was already. I told him about it, but he already knew. He just didn't know who cuz was. And I only seen bull once. So one day we just chalked school early. Coming left, went to the crib, Cuz just popped up. And my homie. And he even saying he, he looked at him, I thought he knew him for a second. I'm like. Because he about to get out the car. But, you know, I pieced it together until last second. He just, he ran off. I'm like, what the this running for? I look over back at cuz, this pulling the pole out. He started throwing that at the wheel through four shots. He got hit in his chest. I ain't get hit. Next thing you know, a couple days later and like three later, I went to the hospital, visit him and all that. I, I ain't see him since, like I had his backpack for like, like a full month. There's some change. This has never responded to me, Nothing, honest.

[Pat]

Is he alive?

[Jamal]

Oh, yeah, he alive.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Jamal]

The bullet was like, like 2 inches from his chest. That's what they said. That's what he said. And I don't know, to be honest, you know, could be spicing that for all I know.

[Mike]

No, I don't know. I'm just saying accusing, accusing somebody of spicing up them getting shot. And you were there. Crazy.

[Jamal]

Hey, I'm not saying that he didn't get a shot. I'm just saying know two inches from his heart. I, I, I, I ain't really saying I don't know. I wasn't there saying I wasn't in the hospital, in the surgery room and all that, getting a bullet, all this.

[Mike]

But why?

[Jamal]

I'm just saying.

[Mike]

Why are you questioning that? Like, why is that even in your line of questioning? Like, if he's over exaggerating how close it was to his heart,

[Jean]

seems like a great.

[Jamal]

It could have been that case. I'm saying I don't really know.

[Pat]

Okay. The gun was, the gun was never aimed at you.

[Jamal]

Well, I was in the driver's seat. He was in the passenger seat. He looked at me, but I, I Mean, he. He. He got out the car. I think that's why he got shot, honestly, because I ducked and I. I ain't get hit. And again, I ain't.

[Mike]

You. You were driving, though?

[Jamal]

I was driving, yeah. Yeah, I just went to my crib.

[Mike]

Was the car. Was the car on?

[Ryan]

Or.

[Mike]

Y' all like, sitting in car?

[Jamal]

No, like, the way. The way Bull pulled up and he pulled up, so couldn't even pull off anyway. Like, he pulled up like. Like his ass of the car was by the front of my car, so there's no. It was no falling off.

[Alex]

For real.

[Pat]

Oh, you.

[Mike]

And you short. Who do you think it. So you don't. You don't know the dude that shot y'?

[Pat]

All?

[Jamal]

No, no, no. I knew, cuz, but I ain't really. I ain't know him. Like, like.

[Mike]

So you got that good of a look where you.

[Ryan]

Where. You know.

[Mike]

You seen him before?

[Jamal]

I seen him before once, but that was like. Like. Like a month before I even saying. Knew what he was going on for.

[Mike]

What. So you. So you. For sure he wasn't there for you? He was for. For the other guy?

[Jamal]

No, he. He was there for my brother. But I guess cuz thought you saying we looked like or whatever, saying he thought I was him. I don't know. Be honest.

[Mike]

Yeah, man. You need to get off the streets, bro. You don't know nothing, bro.

[Jamal]

Huh?

[Mike]

You in the streets, bro. If you hang around people, that's doing. You in the streets.

[Jamal]

Nah, bro, I ain't. I ain't been in the streets.

[Mike]

And like, if you hang around people, that's doing. If you hang around people, that's industries. You in the streets.

[Jamal]

No, bro, I don't hang out with in the streets.

[Mike]

Is this stupid or what?

[Pat]

I think you're saying this happened in the past.

[Jamal]

This happened in the past. Yeah, you said the last friendship. I'm still cool with a couple. I'm saying certain people that don't do. I'm saying what I was getting into.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Jamal]

This is like. Yeah, I'm gonna say, like. Yeah, it's cool, bro. I knew you were stupid for a second.

[Mike]

I'm stupid, bro?

[Jamal]

Yeah, it's cool, bro. I had to get my little. You're saying my little one, two, man.

[Mike]

No, no, no. You got it, bro. Yeah, man. Good thing.

[Jamal]

Thanks for call, though, man.

[Mike]

Good thing. Good thing them ain't got good aim. You know what I'm saying? We wouldn't even be on the call, right?

[Jamal]

No real, yo. I swear, bro.

[Pat]

So did the cop is crazy did the cops ask you?

[Jamal]

Yeah, yeah.

[Alex]

Cop.

[Jamal]

They was on some weird. I forgot about that, man.

[Pat]

You didn't tell them you knew it was.

[Jamal]

I guess they thought. No, no, I ain't say that.

[Jean]

What I'm not about to say. What I ain't even saying.

[Pat]

Got shot.

[Jamal]

Listen, I'm not. Listen, he was in the streets too, so he. He knew what the was going on. You ain't about him saying.

[Pat]

Did you tell him who shot him at least?

[Jamal]

No, the funny part, before it happened that day, I was telling him about what was going on, but I didn't saying I didn't see cuz in a while. I'm saying like. So I just. I'm saying I just happened to be talking about it the same day. Next thing you know, cuz it happened to pull up.

[Pat]

Just so happened.

[Mike]

So. So where's your.

[Nick]

So where's your.

[Pat]

What is coincidence?

[Mike]

Where's your brother? All this like where is like this.

[Jamal]

He. Well, he didn't do like to. To you saying to try. You mean like. Like mend the situation or anything. You saying like I basically had to you. I'm saying like men for myself. Defend for myself. A. I'm saying like. So when 12 pulled up, I just had. I had to act like I ain't really know what the was going on at all. I had to be oblivious.

[Mike]

So what's your bro?

[Jamal]

I just got. Yeah, it worked.

[Mike]

I want to know what your brother. I want to know what your brother is saying to you. Like, did you talk to your brother like, yo, that's looking for you Shot at me?

[Jamal]

Yeah. Yeah. So I told him that he. He knew, but it was nothing. Like he wasn't. He wasn't doing this. I'm gonna be honest with you. But like basically he. He. He jams. He. He stole. He stole 100 for some and a hundred dollars. This. Yeah. 100, bro. Yes, 100, bro. 100. Stole 100 from this and then this. He goes then links with the later like a week. A week or two later after this. Just took a bean, stole the bean from her. Goes and links with her again. She lines this. She launching.

[Ryan]

She.

[Jamal]

She had his car tucked. Everything was in his will, you know, like, you know, be having your world. Keys, sneaks, clothes. And his license was in the car. So they got that drop on our addresses. So I guess they just been spinning around this I'm saying. But I didn't know all that until like probably like a week or two before that happened. Like before. Before I got shot at.

[Pat]

All right, bro.

[Mike]

Yeah, man.

[Jamal]

Some crazy ass, man.

[Pat]

Yeah, man.

[Nick]

All right.

[Pat]

You have a good one, man.

[Ryan]

Man.

[Jamal]

Yeah, bro, you. You gotta cut this off, bro.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Pat]

What up, man? How's it going?

[Gene]

It's good. Just chilling right now.

[Pat]

Okay, I got. I got a question for you, man. What's the dilemma?

[Gene]

All right, so I was friends with this girl for like a while, since like eighth grade. And like, we've been like, pretty close friends. Just like nothing, none. Nothing crazy. But then maybe like around four months ago, it was just like chilling and at my crib we were smoking and I kind of like just made my move and. And she was going for it. But like, she said she wanted, like, no relationship or nothing. So I was like, all right, bet we could be friends with benefits and that's cool. And then. Yeah, so like, I went out of town for work and they'd be like, like three, four weeks ago. And then she called me and told me, like. Like she was getting like a pregnancy test or whatever. So I'm like, oh, hold on now. I ain't ready for all that. But turns out she was, I guess, like with somebody else, which is cool because we know we just friends and. But what really had me was that she, you know, let him, you know, nut inside of her. I'm like, yo, that's wild work.

[Mike]

So how are you a candidate?

[Gene]

I don't know.

[Mike]

How are you a candidate?

[Gene]

What you mean, how am I a candidate?

[Mike]

I'm that Nick. No, I'm just saying, like, you mad at her for letting somebody nut inside of her. Did you do that?

[Gene]

No, no, no, I was. Come on, I'm pulling out. We ain't doing that.

[Pat]

So you're just mad that. That she's sleeping with other people

[Jean]

or

[Pat]

you feel away about it?

[Gene]

Yeah, I just feel some type of way about it, I guess.

[Pat]

Why do you. Do you want a more of a relationship with her?

[Alex]

A little bit.

[Gene]

Like, she a cool ass person, like I with her. Like, that's why we've been friends for so long. But I don't know, like, her. Her like, she a cool person, like I said, but she just. I guess she. She said she just want to have her fun when she young and which, I mean, I respect.

[Mike]

Where the baby at?

[Gene]

Oh, no, she didn't have a baby.

[Alex]

She was.

[Gene]

No, she was not pregnant.

[Mike]

Oh, okay. So how's the relationship now?

[Gene]

This just happened like two days ago, so I ain't talking.

[Jean]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Wait, so how. Wait, whoa. How did you even obtain the information that somebody else nutted in her like she told you how that's her friend. Like, how did she tell you that that's his bestie?

[Gene]

Yeah, that was. Oh, so Gene. Yeah, that was just like. Yeah, that was. We would be friends. You know what I'm saying? So we'll be talking and. But that was crazy though.

[Nick]

Did you get jealous?

[Gene]

I don't want no kids, so I ain't really jealous. But.

[Mike]

So she told you that and then I'm guessing you'd be eating her out too.

[Gene]

No,

[Mike]

you lying. I know you lying because the way you talk about this is. Is your best friend and you got a crush on her. And then you still considering being with her. You can't tell me you didn't eat her out. I will hang up right now.

[Jamal]

No.

[Gene]

Oh my.

[Mike]

You're a liar, bro. You a liar. That's why the information was so important. That's why you asked. No, I'm not.

[Chris]

Come on.

[Mike]

No, he ate it up. It's crazy.

[Pat]

You don't. You like that one dude from the last call, man.

[Mike]

You the reason why she got pregnant. You the plan C's

[Pat]

happy when I

[Gene]

was out of town.

[Mike]

No, you, you suck that nut right out. Oh my God. She said, I got you bestie. You not getting pregnant by hell now that's crazy.

[Pat]

But so do you. Do you still want something more than a friendship with her or are you just looking for like monogamy with like a. A free trial?

[Jamal]

Say the woman.

[Pat]

I said you looking for something more.

[Mike]

Every time. Every time you use a big word with this. That's your sick of time, bro. Use it in a sentence.

[Jamal]

I said.

[Mike]

I said candidate that said explain more.

[Pat]

What you mean? I say it sound like you want a free trial of like monogamy. You know what monogamy means?

[Gene]

Yeah, no, I know what it means.

[Alex]

What it mean?

[Mike]

No, what it mean?

[Gene]

That's why you not messing with no other people.

[Mike]

Okay, okay, my bad, my bad. I'm stupid, bro.

[Gene]

I mean, a free child will not give me. I feel like that's what everybody want.

[Pat]

Like I would say everybody. Some people just want the monogamy part.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Pat]

So you can't feel no way then because she doing her thing. You doing your thing. I'm pretty sure you're doing your thing. Obviously, if she's like, no, he not doing the same.

[Mike]

That's why that shit hurts so bad. He thought when they was friends with benefits is he thought like, hey, benefiting. Yeah, yeah, she out here, everybody got the benefit plan benefits but on some real.

[Pat]

On a plane.

[Gene]

Damn.

[Nick]

What the that's the air show last day.

[Mike]

Oh, this us? That's us. Yeah, yeah, it's the air show. No, we tried to film on the air show last year, and we canceled the whole p. Holy.

[Pat]

That is us.

[Mike]

It's on the rooftop, too. We can see it. But no, my bad. Back to you, bro. What was the last question I was gonna ask him? Oh, yeah. If she came to you right now and said, I want to have a relationship with you, I'm done playing. Let's do this, what would you say?

[Gene]

I don't know. I can't. I can't save myself for somebody. I'm just gonna do me. She can do her. That's cool.

[Mike]

No, no, no, no. But she's saying, like, she done with all the. That she just wants you and she want to be now.

[Nick]

Yeah,

[Gene]

I mean, I consider we grown. So it ain't like. Like what she did in the past, really. Like, I don't really care too much

[Mike]

that nut didn't dry it up. You good, bro. It's been two days. That nut dried up. You ain't got. Hey, no. What's your message to her, though,

[Pat]

bro?

[Gene]

I mean, just have your fun, but don't expect me to come crawling back.

[Pat]

I. I guess crawling back, you're. Where's there to crawl back from? Y' all just.

[Mike]

You confusing us.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Pat]

So you would not be friends with her because she's having sex with another person. Isn't that what the purpose of friends with benefits? Y' all sleep together, and y' all also have y' all fun regardless.

[Mike]

That's what I'm saying. Tender dick like, you bro up the game.

[Pat]

So when you were out of town, were you, like, you didn't talk to nobody when you're out of town or you talk to nobody besides her?

[Gene]

I mean, yeah, okay, but I don't know.

[Mike]

But he not nobody. That's what hurt.

[Pat]

Oh, you're not having sex. Okay. This is the difference. Now, are you trying to have sex and it's just not working out for you?

[Gene]

Nah, not really.

[Pat]

Okay. He said not really.

[Mike]

He like her.

[Pat]

Yeah, he do like her.

[Mike]

He like her a lot. She.

[Kelly]

He.

[Mike]

Some people look at friends with benefits as a different thing. Like, some people going to friends with benefits as, like. Like, oh, this the beginning to us starting a relationship. We just try not to put that much pressure on it. But some people like her look at friends of benefits like, okay, bet we gonna have sex. And that means that you not gonna call me out for any other thing that I do. So Y' all just took it different ways. Y' all gotta sit down and have a talk.

[Gene]

Yeah, I guess you're right.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Mike]

I said no.

[Nick]

Tell her to call the show.

[Gene]

Nah, fuck no.

[Mike]

We ain't doing that. What's it do? You know the other dude that she doing it with or he just like a random random. Just a random now?

[Gene]

I don't know.

[Mike]

Can't be too random now. I'm just trying to put that people be acting like I'll be mean. I'll just be trying to put that pressure on, like, so people can see the situation that they in. You know what I'm saying? It sound like you really like you.

[Alex]

Damn right.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Mike]

It sound like you really like her. We just trying to make sure you don't get your heart broke because it sound like she on some other bro. She let him.

[Pat]

All right, man. You have a good one, bro.

[Gene]

I appreciate y'.

[Jean]

All.

[Gene]

Enjoy your day.

[Mike]

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[Alex]

Hey, yo, what's up, man?

[Mike]

What the are you talking about?

[Pat]

Yo, yo. Welcome to Crab Podcast, bro.

[Alex]

Hey, what's. Oh, what's up, Mike and Pat? What's up, dude?

[Pat]

Why are you so surprised when you knew us was calling?

[Nick]

My bad.

[Mike]

I'm moving this m. No, cuz.

[Alex]

I just. I. Honestly, I. When I picked up, I didn't realize what I was picking up. I just.

[Pat]

Got it. Got it. Okay, okay, that's fair. That's fair. I got a question for you. What's the reason your friendship and what's the reason your friendship ended?

[Alex]

The reason my friendship ended is because my friend was addicted to coke.

[Gene]

Heavy.

[Alex]

And I used to be, like, more into pills or those kinds of things. Like, more so into those kind of heavier drugs. I wasn't, like, selling or nothing. Like, I was just kind of, like, in college. Like, just kind of like I was having some bad years, basically.

[Jean]

Okay.

[Alex]

So it was kind of hard for me to be in a position to Judge this guy because he was doing, like, coke, which was something I never did. But I went home. It was one of those, like, hometown friends type of thing. And we grew up together. We went to middle school, elementary. And I come home one day, and he's like, yo, call over to my house, man. And I did. And he just lays out this big bag of cocaine. Like, the biggest bag of cocaine I've ever seen. I, I, I was like, shot. I was like shot. Like, I was a pill addict. And I was like, ew. So. So then he proceeds to give me the, you know, the dollar bill or whatever the fuck. And I was like, hey, oh, slow your roll, buddy. I'm, I'm good, I'm good. I'm a. I'm gonna sit back here and take my zans, you know? Like, I don't wanna, I don't wanna be all up.

[Pat]

Okay, so you were still doing drugs at that time, though?

[Alex]

Yeah, exactly.

[Pat]

You're just judging the type of drugs he was doing.

[Mike]

That, that said.

[Alex]

Exactly.

[Mike]

That said, I don't do no orgies, bro. Glory hoes only.

[Nick]

No, he wanted to be depressed in the corner and not have fun.

[Mike]

Same freak, different beast.

[Pat]

But it's like different frequencies, isn't it? Like a Xanax versus a cocaine.

[Mike]

Yeah, Downer versus other.

[Alex]

It was so different. It's so different. Like, he was, like, bouncing off the walls, talking about like, oh, I'm a. I'm gonna film a movie. I'm gonna write a script. I'm gonna do all that. And I'm sitting in the back like, man, it's just. I'm just trying to listen to this, like, childish camp. I don't even know. I was trying to listen to music. Y' all can tell I'm white.

[Mike]

Then they go over there, drowsy, talking about two, three,

[Alex]

Listen to firefly.

[Pat]

So what was, like, what was the bowling? What was the boiling point then?

[Alex]

The boiling point was I. When he showed me that, it was like a week after that, it happened. And I just. He was texting me, he was like, yo, you want to come over again? And this was like, during, like, winter break or whatever. And I was like, no, bro, I don't. And, like, honestly, I think you have a big problem. And he was like, oh, well, that's

[Ryan]

so rich coming from you.

[Alex]

Like, you pill at it. And I was like, hey, listen. I was like, listen, listen, man. Yeah, he called me a pillow. I know. So I was like. I was like, listen, man, I love you. I don't want to, like, make the critical.

[Mike]

One thing two addicts don't tell each other is that they love each other. I swear to God.

[Nick]

And then you went to rehab.

[Ryan]

That's my childhood friend.

[Mike]

I love you, bro.

[Alex]

That's why.

[Mike]

But let's talk about your pill. Let's talk about your pill habit, though. That's gone though, right? Yeah.

[Alex]

Oh, God.

[Gene]

Gone.

[Alex]

Gone.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Mike]

What do you do now to, like, kind of. Cuz usually people can't quit cold turkey. They pick up, like, some cigarettes or some weed or.

[Alex]

No, that's so true. I was doing weed and cigarettes at the time. I'm free from nicotine. I'm free from opioids and pills. I graduated college. I got a job.

[Ryan]

Okay.

[Alex]

I'm doing good now. You know, I don't. I don't got ladies, but, you know, I'm trying.

[Mike]

Just need one.

[Alex]

Just need one. Just need one. You know, ambition is ladies.

[Jean]

Hey, I get it.

[Pat]

Sho high, bro.

[Ryan]

I'm sober now.

[Alex]

You know, I don't. I don't need those pill ladies like they were. They're ugly. So. Yeah, no.

[Mike]

Pill ladies. Funny man, man. All ladies beautiful man. Shout out to my pill ladies. Don't listen to this ho ass. No, they go say, keep popping your zen, baby girl. I listen to him.

[Alex]

Happy International Women's year to the pill heads. We love y' all pill ladies.

[Mike]

We still love all ladies on here. Zan's perks, ladies. We love you. Put it on your tongue and let's see some crafts from these podcast. Let's get crazy. No, I'm playing. No, happy to hear you. You doing all those great things, bro. For real.

[Alex]

Much love, man.

[Pat]

So I appreciate.

[Alex]

Much love to y'. All. I appreciate y'. All. I love y' all doing your thing. I've been a listener since y' all were on Hassan, but because of that, I. I just. I just wanted to take a minute just to say y' all are the freaking best. Underrated. Should be.

[Mike]

Question, question, question, question. Before the dig riding.

[Pat]

Oh, my gosh. Dig riding over.

[Ryan]

Dig riding over.

[Mike]

Okay. Appreciate it. Were you on pills when you were listening to us this or just like you always missed?

[Alex]

No, no, no, no. I was. I was sober. And it was helpful, honestly, because I would. I was. I was. I was really high, though. For real.

[Nick]

Like, on.

[Alex]

On weed, but not like.

[Pat]

Not like on weed.

[Mike]

Mike trying to relapse you, bro by bully.

[Pat]

He made we sound like a control

[Nick]

now when he used to do drugs, I feel like that's how they tok. Oh, it's like I was on Whiskey.

[Pat]

Whiskey is crazy.

[Mike]

Got like. Like four rehab groups and so. Yo, what up? How long.

[Pat]

How long. How long have y' all not been friends for? Because obviously that last conversation is the reason y' all friendship ended basically, right?

[Alex]

Yeah, it's been four and a half years now.

[Pat]

Well, if you got a message to him, bro, I.

[Alex]

My message to you, bro, is to get sober. Life is better, and it won't hold you back if you laugh, man. If you laugh, laugh. Laugh will heal you.

[Mike]

No, he just. He just snorted a line and said, shut your ass up.

[Pat]

He tried to hear that, man. Oh, so you know he's still.

[Alex]

I gotta get on pills and talk to him again.

[Jamal]

No, no,

[Pat]

You gotta make sure that, like, he an oracle. He popped his film. He speak his language.

[Mike]

When Black Panther goes to that other

[Nick]

world,

[Mike]

the oracle, like the Matrix got locked in.

[Pat]

He's still on drugs, though. You know that for sure?

[Alex]

I know that for sure.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Alex]

We do follow each other on. On socials and I, you know, I'm on his private. And I see all that stuff.

[Pat]

Oh, okay.

[Alex]

I just don't talk to him anymore. I just had to cut him out.

[Mike]

Does he snort coke on his private SO story?

[Jean]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Oh, damn. He in the game. Yeah, he's like.

[Alex]

He's like a stocks kind of guy. So he'd be like, you know, come. Come buy my stock thing.

[Chris]

And like, then he's like.

[Alex]

Then the next post is like, him snorting coke. And I'm like, all right, bro, it's not going well for you, is it? Like, we gotta. We gotta pull this bag. Come on.

[Mike]

Hey, wait, man.

[Pat]

You tried, though.

[Mike]

You tried, man. Don't waste your time, bro.

[Alex]

I did, and I love that. I love that, man. Like, he's my brother, for real. He was. I don't talk to him anymore. But yeah, it's just like.

[Pat]

No, sometimes life is like that.

[Alex]

I hope you do better.

[Pat]

Sometimes you gotta cut people off, bro.

[Mike]

For real, bro.

[Gene]

Facts.

[Alex]

It's better for you.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Pat]

All right, bro. Continue your sober life. Hope you get the ladies in the future. You can shoot your shot right now to some listeners that might be interested, though.

[Ryan]

Some.

[Pat]

Some.

[Alex]

Okay.

[Pat]

Some women love newly sober people, too.

[Nick]

Some ex pill ladies, maybe.

[Alex]

Hey, listen, X pill ladies, this is the pill. This is a former pill, man. I'm here now to save you and to save that. Come on, now, give me something.

[Mike]

You can't trust a drug. Get them an inch, they take the whole mile.

[Chris]

All right, man.

[Pat]

You have a good one, bro.

[Alex]

You too. Love you. Guys, have a good one.

[Pat]

Yo, what it do?

[Mike]

What's happening?

[Chris]

How are you boys?

[Pat]

Good, bro. I guess I'll ask you the question. What's your dilemma?

[Chris]

You know, I think loving your girlfriend to a minimum is the key to a happy relationship and maybe even marriage.

[Pat]

Loving your girlfriend, your girl to a minimum. Okay, you want to elaborate on your theory?

[Chris]

All right, so boom. Basically, you know, I'm in college, so a lot of things.

[Pat]

Are your advice about to be dumb as because you're still young? Okay,

[Chris]

no, but because I'm in college, you know, my girl wants to like go to frat parties, which I think is crazy, but she wants to go to frat parties. And I think if you love your girl too much, you're going to get mad at her for wanting to go to frat parties. Right? Like, how do you guys feel about your girl wanting to go to like bars and stuff without you?

[Mike]

Do what they want, have fun.

[Chris]

What do you mean they won't have fun?

[Pat]

We're also not in college, bro.

[Mike]

So yeah, it's definitely a little that don't affect us. Like, like all y' all college boys, y' all got tinder dick and y' all hate when y' all girl go to different parties. And it's like, it's, it's when you get to the grown up world, it's okay, bro.

[Chris]

Yeah, but you guys are like 40. You guys like live my life twice.

[Mike]

How old are you?

[Chris]

Oh my God, I'm 19.

[Mike]

19 or something. What a deep ass voice like that.

[Pat]

We're taking, we're taking a, a 19 year old's giving us advice on relationships and marriage. Go ahead, bro.

[Chris]

Oh no, you guys are like, this is. I'm trying to get advice from you guys because I know like as you grow up it gets easier. But like right now I feel like the more that I like is the more that I'm in love with her, the more upset that I get when she wants to go to parties.

[Pat]

But I feel like like 19, bro. And 19. You're not going to be with her when you graduate college. Just trying to tell you not right?

[Chris]

You don't know that, bro.

[Pat]

No, no, no. It's over, bro.

[Nick]

Especially if you think doing the minimum is.

[Pat]

It's raps. So this just end the relationship. Real talk. It's over, bro. Literally you're already talking like this. It is raps, literally.

[Mike]

Yes, it is, bro.

[Pat]

Yes, it's raps telling strangers who don't know you in real life, this type of story worries. It's over, bro.

[Mike]

Yeah, nothing at 19 matters, bro. I'm not gonna lie like this. This whole year. This whole year is a wash, bro. Just give it up.

[Pat]

Yeah, ball up top, bro.

[Mike]

Look, we literally. This literally might not even make the pile. We giving you real advice, bro. Like your don't know.

[Chris]

Like, I know her. You don't know her like I know her.

[Mike]

There's another that know her. Like you know her, though, probably better.

[Pat]

Alpha Scythe, Alpha whatever the fraternity is.

[Nick]

Stop, bro,

[Chris]

come on.

[Pat]

So you don't go to parties and stuff like that? You don't.

[Nick]

You're not in the frat?

[Chris]

I. I mean, I could be in the frat, but, like, she doesn't.

[Mike]

No, don't say that with me. There's no.

[Nick]

Not.

[Mike]

What the.

[Chris]

Bro, No, I got like, I got

[Mike]

admitted, but like, no, you can't. Ain't no such thing as could be in a frat, either in one or you're not in one. And also. What you mean she don't let you be in a frat, but she going out to parties and you don't like to go to the party parties? So, like, she got control over you and you ain't got control over her?

[Chris]

Nah, it's kind of like mutual. I feel like as a man, you gotta, like, you gotta let your girl do.

[Mike]

You're not a man. What the.

[Jean]

I am.

[Mike]

No, you're not, bro.

[Pat]

Became an adult last year.

[Mike]

Literally.

[Chris]

Can't.

[Mike]

You can't even drink legally, bro. Like, why are we even.

[Chris]

19 is old enough, bro. Like, I've lived a lot of life.

[Mike]

Yes, please do us a favor and sign up for the army, bro. Please.

[Chris]

I'm not. I'm not protecting you guys.

[Pat]

Protecting you guys? What degree you are you trying to get? What are you studying?

[Chris]

Finance. Business and finance.

[Pat]

Finance, bro, Come on, man.

[Mike]

Military, man. Military, man.

[Chris]

That's you, man.

[Mike]

It's literally not, but I'm literally a podcaster. As I say, you 19 year olds just be saying shit, bro.

[Chris]

You know more than me. You should. You should be able to.

[Gene]

Bro.

[Pat]

We told you our advice, though. It's raps.

[Chris]

It's not raps, but you just keep

[Mike]

saying that we wiser than you, and then every time we try to give you advice, you deny the advice. So what'd that make you?

[Pat]

How long you been with her?

[Chris]

Eight months. Which is a long time for 19,

[Mike]

he said, which is a lot because I'm only 19.

[Pat]

Oh, my gosh.

[Chris]

That's like. That's a long time.

[Mike]

No, it's not, bro.

[Pat]

Just Give it up.

[Chris]

Months.

[Mike]

Just give it up.

[Chris]

What were you doing eight months ago, man?

[Pat]

This same thing, bro. All right, man. You have a good one, bro.

[Mike]

No more 19 year old men on our last one, yo.

[Chris]

What?

[Alex]

What up?

[Mike]

What's the word?

[Alex]

What's the word?

[Mike]

Got a question for you, bro.

[Alex]

Yeah?

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Okay.

[Mike]

What broke your heart but you pretend it didn't?

[Alex]

I mean, also my friends agree with me that that anal hurts the dude. Like when you be. I found this out first time when I was like, you know, the girl and then also like normally and she was like not working wet. That like hurt my dick.

[Pat]

I was like, oh, okay,

[Mike]

all right now, brother. Oh, all right.

[Pat]

I thought, I thought, I was trying. I was trying to think who was like if he was the receiver or.

[Mike]

Yeah, cuz he like hurts.

[Pat]

You said anal hurts men too.

[Alex]

Oh, no, no, no. Like I'm getting as a girl, but like I'm hurting. Like my dick's hurting. So like I'm put. I'm saying like it's not lubricated. So I put it in. It's like hard scrapes. Like I probably, probably three, four pumps in. And I was like, ow. So I'd like stop. She's like, well, what's the problem?

[Mike]

We good?

[Alex]

Because it's kind of like concrete.

[Jamal]

Dang it.

[Mike]

The no.

[Jean]

Yo, what's good?

[Mike]

What's the word?

[Pat]

Sounded sleepy at first and pop right up.

[Kelly]

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm in a rehab home. I gotta be a bit quiet.

[Mike]

You working at a rehab home?

[Kelly]

Hell no. I don't like old people.

[Pat]

Wait, okay, okay.

[Mike]

Oh, you visiting somebody at a rehab home? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kelly]

My nana fell trying to get some Verners.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Pat]

Okay. I guess I'll just ask you the question. What's your dilemma? Gotta get back to Nana.

[Kelly]

Okay. Oh my gosh. Okay. Y' all can't laugh at me, right?

[Pat]

Got it.

[Kelly]

So my dilemma is I recently. Well, everyone thinks I'm a lesbian because I look at the part. I can't lie, I'm a pretty good looking young man if I am, you know, But I kind of miss my boyfriend, my ex boyfriend from years ago.

[Mike]

So where's like. So where's the lesbian part? Coming in the story. Are you.

[Kelly]

Well, well, okay, I don't got no post of me up, but like if you were to see me for a really long time, I had some long. Not long, but I had some locks. I got a pretty mixed looking face on if I'm a boy or girl, you know, know, I dress comfortable, but you, you also. I like women.

[Pat]

I was about to say, look, I was trying to see. I was trying to see a picture of herself and it had the flag in her profile.

[Mike]

She literally has gay bar. She has the worst gay bar under her profile picture. Oh.

[Kelly]

Because I told you I just had a girlfriend.

[Pat]

Okay, okay, I don't remember hearing that, but yeah. So you're recently lesbian?

[Kelly]

No, I've never been a lesbian.

[Nick]

Is your first time having a girlfriend?

[Kelly]

Oh, hell no. I've been had a girlfriend, but this

[Gene]

was my longest time.

[Nick]

You just miss your man.

[Kelly]

Low key. Okay, okay, but like, but like, listen, I also recently cut my hair so I look like a little boy. So, like, I don't think my man missed me.

[Mike]

Not yet. You gotta maybe grow your hair out a little.

[Nick]

I don't recognize you.

[Pat]

But you don't know that. Did you shoot your shot?

[Mike]

Yeah, just start showing up to his hoop sessions. Keep passing on the ball.

[Kelly]

Oh, my gosh. I can't play basketball. I pass out.

[Nick]

How long ago was the relationship?

[Kelly]

Well, here's the thing. We were messing with each other from what, like 14 to 17? Like my whole high school career.

[Chris]

Okay,

[Mike]

You're how old now?

[Kelly]

20?

[Mike]

Come on, bro, Is this our demographic now?

[Kelly]

Like, are we young people? Wait, stop. Don't play with me like that. I've been trying to get on. I've been trying to get on a call.

[Mike]

Yeah, but ignoring me, Y' all be living like. It's like, it's funny. Like when a 19 or 20 year old gets on here, like they present a problem, but they don't have any layers to the problem. And it's just like, okay, it's just like y' all don't have that many problems. Y' all say some shit and it's like a super simple fix because we just gonna tell you, hey, why don't you just shoot your shot at him?

[Gene]

And then.

[Mike]

And then it's like, well, okay, what

[Kelly]

do you want me to talk about my dilemma being? Geez, my dilemma could be what? I hate my job as a welder. Like, I don't know what you want me to say.

[Pat]

You're a wel.

[Mike]

That is very unique.

[Nick]

Wait, so do you just pass as a lesbian?

[Mike]

I mean, Never mind.

[Kelly]

Oh, you know what? Okay, listen, I'm gonna try to send y' all a photo.

[Mike]

Are you.

[Pat]

Are you bisexual? Would you consider yourself that I consider my.

[Kelly]

Oh, I just almost said my name. Because that's what I'd be saying to people when they ask me my almost said race. Okay, Sexuality. I don't have one for real.

[Pat]

But why do you have gay bar in your, your profile then?

[Kelly]

Because I was going through a real streak. I was going through a streak of like just loving women.

[Mike]

Okay, got it.

[Pat]

You don't want to update your. The flag then.

[Mike]

Well, the flag is for, you know, I. It covers everything.

[Kelly]

But I'm scared. Listen, listen, listen though. I'm scared that my ex girlfriend gonna like be looking at my page because we just broke up.

[Pat]

Got it?

[Mike]

Oh, why I break up?

[Pat]

Why I break up?

[Jamal]

I don't know.

[Pat]

That is a crazy update.

[Mike]

If you're in a lesbian relationship and then you break up with your partner

[Pat]

and then see they took the flag out of them. Or if you see a flag added after you broke up too, it's time,

[Kelly]

dog. That's why I'm scared. People gonna be like, damn, she not gay no more after that. Well, I mean, I guess I wouldn't be, but I would be.

[Mike]

Why you break up with her, okay? Because she's fucking 20, Gene, that's why. It's about to be some 20 year old ass problem.

[Jamal]

I'm too young.

[Kelly]

No, actually it's like, it's like some, like my sister didn't like her, so they were like beefing.

[Mike]

20 year old.

[Kelly]

All right, grandpa, you don't got to make fun of me for living life, kid bro.

[Mike]

You kid.

[Kelly]

And I am a kid. Thank you.

[Mike]

What you got? What you wearing right now?

[Kelly]

I got on tight Under Armour shirt, some gray hoochie daddy shorts and some crocs.

[Mike]

They could dress like a stepdad.

[Kelly]

I told y'.

[Alex]

All.

[Kelly]

I told y'.

[Chris]

All.

[Kelly]

People think I'm a stud.

[Mike]

They probably see them rough ass hands you got.

[Kelly]

My hands are still pretty for a girl who welds. Stop.

[Mike]

No, no, no. It's fire that you weld.

[Pat]

No, it's fire. It's just very. It was very left field.

[Mike]

Threw us off for a little bit. Well, we don't know. What? Like what?

[Pat]

Like.

[Mike]

What do you want us to tell you?

[Pat]

Nah, being a. Well, you make good money being a welder.

[Kelly]

I make pretty decent money, I guess

[Mike]

for a 20 year old, that's pretty good.

[Kelly]

No?

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah, like you, you got everything settled and then you just said you was too young for the relationship and the person was beefing with your sister.

[Chris]

Sister.

[Mike]

It sound like you just gotta wait.

[Kelly]

I was too young for a relationship.

[Jean]

You made that up.

[Mike]

No, you said you was too young.

[Pat]

She said she's too young. I know why you thought that though.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Mike]

What'd she Say she did say it

[Pat]

was too young, but it wasn't. It just was intertwined of like sentences.

[Mike]

Only a 20 year old will some up like that. That's what I'm saying. Like, hey, come on, man. You. You got your. You got your life pretty, pretty set. It just sound like you don't like your hair right now. That's what you're telling us.

[Pat]

Oh, basically, right.

[Kelly]

You know what? I'm about to start wearing hats like y'.

[Jean]

All.

[Mike]

No, I mean, yo, but your hair gonna grow back way further than ours though.

[Pat]

Or extensions too.

[Kelly]

Extensions?

[Jamal]

Oh, yeah, go get some kinky twists.

[Kelly]

Listen, I'm about to put some extensions in my hair and then I'm gonna hit up my ex.

[Mike]

All right, but you should have confidence enough to like be yourself. Cause it sounds. Just because your hair is short don't mean like he shouldn't like you. He should like you with all that stuff. So I would hit him up when your hair short.

[Kelly]

No, he don't like me.

[Jamal]

What?

[Kelly]

What?

[Mike]

Oh, man, this a. This a 20 year old. Like y' all just flip back and forth. It's like. That's why we don't give y' all advice. Every time we get somebody young advice on here, they start arguing against it. Like we not your parents, man. Nobody going back and forth with you. Do what you want it.

[Kelly]

My bad. Okay, I'm sorry.

[Alex]

I'm.

[Kelly]

I'm listening. I'm listening.

[Mike]

N. I ain't falling for that. N. Just keep. Just keep doing you. You sound like you're doing a good job live, though.

[Kelly]

Oh, my phone at 1%. I can't lie. I gotta go.

[Ryan]

All right.

[Mike]

I'm about to hang out first, young people.

[Pat]

1%. Phone battery. No responsibility.

[Kelly]

I'm at rehab, bro. I'm at rehab, bro. You can't be mad.

[Mike]

No, no, you're right. Oh, she visiting grandma.

[Pat]

She good. Okay.

[Mike]

You're a good person. That's what I'm saying. You just ball headed.

[Pat]

Oh my God.

[Kelly]

Look like you. Little do you know I dead ass look like you, so it's okay.

[Mike]

We look alike. Send me a picture.

[Alex]

We.

[Kelly]

We'd probably be going out in like the same club. Fits. I just.

[Mike]

You can't get into a club.

[Pat]

What are you talking about?

[Kelly]

I can, you know. You know. Ooh. These Detroit clubs don't care.

[Mike]

Oh, my God. Oh, yeah.

[Pat]

Okay. You have a good one.

[Mike]

You done?

[Jean]

Why?

[Nick]

I got the same pants on.

[Mike]

I know she's swaggy. No, I'm just saying you swaggy.

[Pat]

Yo, yo, my bad.

[Mike]

I'm talking to Kelly. We giving Carrie a compliment on her outfit, but she don't know how to take a compliment.

[Jean]

Oh, bet me either.

[Chris]

What?

[Mike]

You. Damn. I hope you having a good day. Your outfit fire too.

[Jean]

I appreciate it. Yeah, I'm having a better day than normal already kind of drunk at like 8:00am Damn. Oh, it's 12.

[Mike]

You good?

[Jean]

Yeah, no, it's actually 12. My cousin came out here to visit, so I had to drop her off at the train station and.

[Nick]

Papa bottle.

[Pat]

Yeah, okay. That seems very.

[Jean]

Actually this morning.

[Mike]

Okay, I got a question for you.

[Jean]

All right, what's up?

[Mike]

What's something that broke your heart but you pretend it didn't?

[Jean]

Honestly, for me, it was probably the night that my ex brought her coworker home and I met the and everything. I fell asleep on the couch. I wake up and these are.

[Mike]

Was a co worker, another woman.

[Jean]

Yeah, yeah. They went to like a lingerie party that some other co worker threw, which is already dangerous work. She was like, yeah, I'm gonna put shorty to bed in my room real quick. I fall asleep, I wake up. This in there. Clapping cheeks.

[Pat]

Clapping cheeks. Okay,

[Jean]

my bad.

[Pat]

No, no, no, wait.

[Mike]

So they went to a lingerie party?

[Jean]

Yeah, yeah, she went to a lingerie party with her co workers and I was supposed to pick her?

[Mike]

Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

[Nick]

I'm confused

[Alex]

because it's.

[Nick]

She.

[Jamal]

She.

[Mike]

She has a girlfriend.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Yes.

[Mike]

And then. But she said. Huh?

[Jean]

Oh, yeah, yeah, you're right. You're right. I did.

[Chris]

So.

[Mike]

So you have a girlfriend and then your girlfriend bought a girl home

[Pat]

and.

[Mike]

But you say clapping cheeks.

[Jean]

I mean, when you use certain accoutrements in the bedroom, it can turn into accoutrements.

[Pat]

Got it, got it.

[Mike]

So she's saying she used a strap on.

[Pat]

Yes.

[Mike]

How deep of a sleep do they think? Well, I can see them like, you know, sneaking off in a room, touching each other, but to put a full strap on you,

[Pat]

Like a utility belt.

[Jean]

Yeah.

[Mike]

What happened?

[Jean]

So I said it was a bold move because I'll sleep on the couch with my gun on my stomach.

[Pat]

In your own house?

[Jean]

No, I was at her crib.

[Pat]

Oh, got it. Okay.

[Jean]

Yeah.

[Nick]

Oh, yeah. So she got the upper.

[Mike]

So what? So what happened after you heard her clapping cheeks?

[Jean]

Well, I woke up, I thought it was a dream, so I went back to sleep. This was like, like three or four o' clock in the morning. I wake up again. It's 6am These niggas are still.

[Pat]

Oh my God. Oh my. Talk about that's why People be mad at. At lesbians and studs and. And sometimes, yeah, people that use strap

[Mike]

on, they got unlimited stamina.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Jean]

Yeah, it was crazy. Your shoes. The femme. I'm the stud.

[Mike]

So she.

[Pat]

Was it another. So was it. Was it.

[Nick]

When did she use.

[Pat]

Was it another stud, though?

[Kelly]

Huh?

[Pat]

Was it a stud that she brought home?

[Jean]

No, it was two films.

[Nick]

She used your strap, though?

[Mike]

Yeah, she.

[Gene]

She said, I'm playing point guard and she used mushes.

[Mike]

That's crazy. Like, what was going on? Like, there. There has to be some turmoil in the relationship. I don't feel like this is, like a loving relationship. And then this happened.

[Jean]

No, it. It definitely was not. Not at all. We both have, like, bipolar disorder, so it was very tumultuous, sensuous and all that. Good.

[Pat]

I like that one.

[Nick]

The other one, a kutrius.

[Alex]

I didn't know.

[Nick]

I didn't.

[Mike]

I didn't know horny could be part of the bipolar disorder.

[Jean]

It is. It is. When you're, like, manic, it makes you hypersexual, which bust down some together or, you know, have some fun together.

[Pat]

But you were sleeping.

[Mike]

Got it. Okay, so those are good details because,

[Jean]

like, like, maybe I already had a problem with.

[Mike]

Oh, but. But did you see her bring her over?

[Jean]

I did, and she was like, oh, I'm. Because the girl drove her home. She was too drunk, and she was like, oh, I'm gonna go set her up in my room to sleep. I'm gonna come sleep in the living room with you. So I fall back asleep. I wake up half ass asleep and I hear something. I'm like, yo, what the. But I thought it was a dream.

[Mike]

You went in the bedroom.

[Nick]

I thought she was going in the

[Pat]

living room and it was your strap on.

[Jean]

Oh, no, it was mine because that's the only one that was in there.

[Pat]

Okay, so, like, that's crazy.

[Mike]

How did the discovery go? You. You bust in the room or what?

[Jean]

Hey, you know what's so crazy is I was in such shock and I had a gun on me, and I knew I was going to act up if I bust open that door, so I left. And then I came back an hour later and these in the bed, but naked, cuddled, because I had a key. So then that's when I had to, you know, know, handle things a little differently.

[Mike]

Right. That don't make sense, though. It's almost like they wanted to be caught because they knew you were in the living room.

[Jean]

Well, I mean, maybe they did because they're together now, but she said she Till this day she said she don't remember nothing. She don't know what happened. All she know she woke up naked and she still barely remember me coming back and busting open the door and

[Nick]

were you supposed to be there?

[Mike]

Yeah, she was. I know together.

[Alex]

Now

[Mike]

I know you was pistol whipping the out of the way hey, I'm

[Jean]

not going to confirm nor deny none of that.

[Mike]

I know you. I know you was gun butting the

[Pat]

out of probably hit him with your own strap on too. Did you take your strap on back?

[Jean]

Oh hell yeah. Don't in my drawer right now.

[Pat]

Snatch that like T.I. did to give me my chance.

[Mike]

No, she went to go get she went to go get her strap on back. That is crazy. You so real and stupid at the same time.

[Jean]

Hey dumb as cause I took her back like two weeks later.

[Pat]

Oh my God.

[Nick]

And she's still with her now and

[Jean]

they stood together and she took her home to meet her family and the whole when I was supposed to go damn. So yeah.

[Pat]

Hey, sometimes wiser now, right?

[Jean]

Oh yeah, definitely.

[Pat]

All right.

[Mike]

Yeah we know to wake up now.

[Jean]

I got my look back when I her homeboy that she knows since kindergarten.

[Mike]

Her homeboy. Oh, you switched teams for the vengeance Take that flag out your bio.

[Jean]

That's what that's all I call myself a stud. I'm a full blown. I do what I feel like like doing. Got it but yes homeboy I her plug I her other homeboy.

[Pat]

Oh wow.

[Mike]

Them them crazy. Them them wanted the guy what deserve it I love oh yeah.

[Jean]

And they still together.

[Pat]

Oh wow.

[Mike]

Wow. So you not so you didn't.

[Pat]

So when you took it there when

[Mike]

you had sex with those guys, you didn't really want them. You was just doing it out of pure revenge binge.

[Gene]

Oh no.

[Jean]

I'll be with too.

[Pat]

Okay.

[Jean]

And it was. It was her homeboys that I was like low key islands from jump anyway.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Jean]

So why not hurt a feeling just a little bit.

[Mike]

Yeah. Them cut different because like if me and you on a date and I hear you talk like that date's over. Y' all be other yeah. Can we get the check please? Nah, that's real. Hey man, do what you got to

[Jean]

do because you know got to. I can't be the only one hurt. And that's that bipolar. I can't be the only one hurting

[Mike]

this Are you getting help with. With the bipolar stuff?

[Jean]

Oh, yeah. I'm taking medic. I've been taking medications ever since. Yeah. So we all good over here.

[Mike]

That's all that matters. Just get that revenge out your heart. Take your medication. Focus on yourself.

[Jean]

Yeah, I already did.

[Nick]

Subscribe to Patreon.

[Pat]

You've been to Live show.

[Jean]

No, y'.

[Mike]

All.

[Jean]

Y' all never come to Arizona.

[Pat]

It's like, oh, we're coming to Arizona.

[Mike]

Yeah, we coming to Phoenix. Link in the bio.

[Jean]

Okay, well, I'll be there.

[Mike]

Pop out. Bring a. Bring a. Or a girl. Whatever you want to bring.

[Jean]

The way I'm feeling.

[Mike]

You got it. You got it.

[Jean]

One of each situation.

[Nick]

Come on.

[Mike]

One of each.

[Pat]

All right, you have a good one.

[Jean]

Hey, y', all, too. Bye.

[Pat]

Peace.

[Ryan]

Good afternoon, gentlemen. How y' all doing?

[Mike]

What's good?

[Nick]

Good evening, young squire.

[Mike]

Why you laughing at his L. I don't know, bro.

[Pat]

I just think everybody just be trying to act funny sometime.

[Mike]

No, no, I feel like this is real. This real him.

[Ryan]

What you mean? I swear to God, I talk like this.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Mike]

Told you.

[Pat]

Hey, listen, he went from gentleman to sound like he from Atlanta.

[Ryan]

Atlanta.

[Pat]

No, see, not.

[Mike]

He is back and forth.

[Pat]

All right, I got a question for you. What's the real reason your friendship ended?

[Ryan]

Well, you see, I had this friend, right? I had this girl best friend, right? And I had known her since, like, ninth grade. I'm in college now, right? You know what I'm saying? This is my ride or die, you know what I'm saying? And then one day, she started talking to a dude. And that's cool, you know what I'm saying? We wasn't messing around or nothing like that. And she showed me to do it. And my first question was, number one, why he looked like like me. You know what I'm saying? Look, just like me. I don't know. I was kind of confused. Basically, after that, I remember she would talk to me every day, and I'll be sitting there, I'm coaching her. You know what I'm saying? I'm on the bench. I'm doing the little Steve Kerr stuff. I'm saying, listen, so and so. You want him to do this? Tell him this, text him this time, ask him to watch this, ask him, hang out this, blah, blah, you know what I'm saying? I'm trying to get her to where she want to be. I'm trying to get her to succeed. And then I woke up one day and I was blocked. I couldn't tell you from. I went on. I went on all Instagram pages I had. I tested a number. It was something about it. It was something. One day I woke up and life was just over. I don't know, man.

[Mike]

So you ain't talked to her since?

[Ryan]

No.

[Mike]

Or her.

[Ryan]

I wish I could.

[Mike]

Are her and that guy together now?

[Gene]

Now

[Mike]

you don't even know.

[Alex]

I couldn't.

[Ryan]

I couldn't tell you, man. I couldn't tell you, man. The only thing. Now listen, listen. I'm keeping it being here, right? I left one thing out. The only thing I left out was after she has spent probably about I don't know, three weeks not talking to me for. Because she started talking this. I may or may not have been a little sassy about it. You know what I'm saying? Other than that, though.

[Pat]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. What's a big part, though?

[Mike]

What did you say?

[Ryan]

What you mean? No, no, no, no, no, no.

[Mike]

What you mean, what you say?

[Ryan]

You know, I think I. I hit her with a little. Hey, listen, man,

[Alex]

I talk to you

[Ryan]

all day about how to get right with this. Then I want to talk to you about some. I want to talk about. You weren't trying to talk to me about it. What's going on? Blah, blah, blah, blah. You know what I'm saying? Did I get a little livid maybe?

[Pat]

Okay, you keep living out the living part. We want to hear exactly how it said.

[Ryan]

Listen, I've been telling you for so long how to get with this. Blah, blah, blah. I tried to talk to you. You want to have a. I had say what the going on, man? You act like you me. You don't give a about me. You only give a about me. I'm trying to help you get with this. I don't know you for X amount of years. What the going on, man? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And she was like, oh, but, but so and so, but so and so, but so and so. And I said, man, listen, listen. You know what I'm saying? Like, why are you doing this? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I just, you know what I'm saying? But I feel like that's unimportant to the. To the total story of the fact

[Pat]

that so there could be some. Some. Something's kind of going on. The dude might have heard you, you know, arguing with her about that and say, hey, that dude don't sound like a guy best friend type of situation. And she might have to cut you off because the guy. I'm not saying it's right.

[Mike]

No, it is right. No, just say she talking to a dude and like she has a guy best friend, and then that guy best friend is supportive into her talking to that best friend and Then he actually helps her get with her. And then they have a falling out. Right as they get together. She's definitely going to tell the dude that she's talking to. Like, yo, me and my best friend just got into it and he's telling me all this stuff. Why are you doing this and why you doing that? Then the dude was like, man, he like, you block that nigga or I'm out.

[Pat]

Yeah, that's why. I don't think it's. Oh, I don't think it's particularly right though, if they're like actually best. I don't know how. Obviously I don't know y' all real friends. But if that was your real best friend, then it's like, if he's trying to talk to you about like, why are you ignoring me? Type of thing, then it's like he's already getting ignored for three weeks.

[Mike]

But she not stupid though. She, she probably saw through like the argument and saw like he was only arguing because she wants. He wants her. That was his whole thing. That's why he mad. Cause dude looked like him. He like, why didn't I get a chance?

[Ryan]

Hell no.

[Mike]

That's how you present how. But that's. But you say he looks look like you and then you like.

[Ryan]

But yeah, I'm saying, why the look like me? Why are you trying to. Let me ask you a question, right? Let's say you got a sister or something, right? And she bring home a. The look like you. How you gonna feel?

[Mike]

I would never say another look like me. That's like the first thing.

[Ryan]

Oh, no, come. When you playing?

[Mike]

Like what? Like, what's your. Like what's your bill?

[Ryan]

Let's see. Six, two black dreads, glasses. I'll be working out probably like 2:30.

[Mike]

So he, he, he's exactly that.

[Ryan]

I ain't gonna hold you. Like, this was uncanny. I felt uncomfortable.

[Mike]

Bro, I'm looking at you, bro. I, I don't think there's another that looks like you. I swear to God, bro, you are one unique looking ass nigga. Like, send us a picadoo. What you mean send us a pikadoo. I know you got a picture of him.

[Ryan]

I can't do that, bro.

[Mike]

So he's 62 with glasses, dreads, and 230 pounds.

[Ryan]

Yes.

[Mike]

And he works out?

[Ryan]

Yes.

[Nick]

And he got your girl. That's not his girl though. That's just his friend.

[Chris]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mike]

I mean, that's not even his friend no more. Oh, ain't got.

[Pat]

Oh, man. Sorry, sir. Sorry to hear about this brother.

[Mike]

He shouldn't have yelled at her. That's his. That's on him. He lost his temp. He lost his cool. She don't feel safe around her no more. Where your girl at?

[Nick]

Where yo.

[Pat]

Yeah, that kind of solves it a lot, right? You got a girl?

[Chris]

Oh, hell no.

[Mike]

We knew that.

[Pat]

Why was it a hell no, though?

[Mike]

We knew that. I don't even know why they set you up and asked you that. No, no, they knew you ain't had.

[Ryan]

Why are you playing me like that?

[Pat]

I believe in you, bro.

[Mike]

I knew you ain't had no girl. You the way too obsessed with this girl. You don't.

[Pat]

Pat's being hard on you for no reason, bro.

[Mike]

No, I'm not. He won't even admit that he like her. That's why he yelled at her. But then he coming on here trying to say every time he got to explain himself and why he like her. That's what all those blah, blah, blahs in this story. Every time he went, blah, blah, blah, that was like, why you ain't do such and such for me? It's just like that. Way too sensitive to be. You supposed to be big bro and. But you over here. Yeah, sassy.

[Ryan]

I'm a sassy ass nigga, but I ain't want her, son.

[Mike]

She was the one who.

[Ryan]

One of the reasons she was one

[Alex]

of my ride or die. Christ.

[Ryan]

It's because she had, you know. You know them breakups I'd be having you talking about somebody did everything but die. Yeah, that was a. That for me the whole time. So that's heard me ugly crying and blah, blah. I can't hold you, man. I could. I ain't gonna hold you. The way that heard me crying over that. I could never date a who seen me like that before, so. And plus. And plus, for the matter of fact, she told me that she had a crush on me like 10th grade.

[Jean]

I would never like

[Pat]

what you say to that. When she told you she had a crush on her when she told you.

[Ryan]

I was like, what? She told me that back when I was in a relationship

[Mike]

I wasn't going to do.

[Pat]

Hey, man, it wasn't meant to be, bro. Y' all friendship wasn't meant to be. Y' all relationship wasn't meant to be. I don't think you. I don't think you're sassy for, you know, feeling away. You can express your feelings, but I think you just got to. I deal with it the way you

[Jamal]

have to do it.

[Pat]

Hey, bro, you are what you are what you kind of feel like then, I guess. All right, man.

[Ryan]

Hey, by the way, I just want to let y' all know, though, I just want y' all know how much I appreciate y'.

[Kelly]

All.

[Ryan]

Back when I was in jail, AKA working at Walmart, y' all the only who got me through the day, man.

[Mike]

What happened first, Walmart or jail?

[Pat]

He's an aka.

[Ryan]

No, I'm saying Walmart was the jail.

[Mike]

Oh, okay.

[Ryan]

My fault.

[Pat]

All right, man. You have a good one, bro. I appreciate you.

[Mike]

Okay, I got. I got a challenge for y'.

[Pat]

All.

[Mike]

Y' all ready? Oh, then we might end up getting back on movie topics. The tweet says, name a famous dog, but it can't be Scooby Doo Air bud. So I want you to save your earbuds. I got something to say about that.

[Pat]

Okay.

[Mike]

That's just weird that we even watch that.

[Carrie]

I was gonna say. Oh, Yeller.

[Mike]

Oh, Yeller. Is that a movie?

[Carrie]

Yeah, that's a dog, ain't it?

[Nick]

It's his name. Oh, yep. I guess. Yeah.

[Mike]

Who was he from?

[Carrie]

I don't know. I just remember the Cosby Show. Used to talk about it all the time.

[Nick]

That's the dog they took behind the barn. And. Oh, yeah, Rabies. And Clifford.

[Mike]

Okay. Oh, Clifford.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Okay. The dog from Beethoven.

[Pat]

From Beethoven movie.

[Mike]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Pat]

I can think about Courage, the Crowded Dog.

[Mike]

Is that a movie? I guess he probably.

[Pat]

Oh, you said movie. Sorry.

[Mike]

It's cool, though. It's cool. But airbud, though, that's the one I wanted to get on, and it's like. Did you watch Airbus?

[Carrie]

No.

[Pat]

You never see any of the earbuds.

[Mike]

How old are you again?

[Carrie]

Don't worry about it.

[Mike]

Okay. No, that's crazy that you've never seen airbud. Basically, it was a golden retriever that played a bunch of sports.

[Carrie]

It was a Disney movie, right?

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was good at it.

[Nick]

Was it Disney?

[Pat]

You have cable?

[Carrie]

I did. I just wasn't interested in watching that one.

[Mike]

What, you was watching MASH or some. Watching the Tonight show with Jay Leno. I knew what I wanted to be. I ain't got time for that.

[Carrie]

No, I was just more into the girly stuff, like Cheetah Girls.

[Mike]

We watch Cheetah Girls. It don't make no sense that you don't cross over. So, like.

[Carrie]

Like, for me, I wasn't a big Cartoon Network girly. I felt like that was a lot of the action shows.

[Pat]

Everybody's a live action movie, though.

[Carrie]

I know, but I'm just saying I was giving an example. That airbud to me seemed like a more guy movie.

[Nick]

But you were Disney princess. You were like watching those kind of.

[Carrie]

Yeah, I was just more into like other stuff.

[Mike]

What else you watch?

[Nick]

Thumbelina?

[Carrie]

Do you guys remember the movies Stuck in the Suburbs on Disney?

[Mike]

Hell no.

[Pat]

Who's in that one?

[Nick]

It sound like some Kiki Palmer used to be.

[Carrie]

Y' all not gonna be writing me

[Mike]

for my young movie show Stuck in the Suburbs.

[Pat]

Okay.

[Mike]

Sound like a bad porno.

[Pat]

It had Brenda Song in it. Yeah, okay, I see. You know why we didn't see it? This got a 5.6 out of 10

[Mike]

stuck in the Sun.

[Carrie]

It was a Disney Channel original movie.

[Mike]

Damn.

[Pat]

Nah, this was.

[Nick]

That makes sense.

[Pat]

Is that the girl from Good Luck Charlie?

[Mike]

Yeah, it is.

[Nick]

Okay.

[Mike]

Got it.

[Pat]

Yeah. This one never made.

[Mike]

No. This flopped for sure.

[Pat]

Yeah, I just didn't like air.

[Carrie]

But can you go with your point?

[Chris]

No.

[Mike]

What else did you have?

[Nick]

You got.

[Pat]

No, what's. What else do you watch? This is really telling a lot about you right now.

[Carrie]

It is. I liked a lot of Nickelodeon, so I would like watch Rugrats a lot.

[Nick]

Fire

[Carrie]

as Told by Ginger Fire.

[Mike]

Someone was telling me the grass was much greener.

[Carrie]

She did her thing on that one. What other. That's so Raven. My goodness. Yes. And I also watched a lot of just like blood black sitcoms. So like Moesha, Fresh Prince, Martin James Fox show, Parkers, Bernie Mac show.

[Pat]

You know what show I do? We uncle it out right now. But the show I really like that was kind of low key, but high key was one on one.

[Carrie]

I love that,

[Mike]

man.

[Carrie]

I went as her for Kyla Pratt one day.

[Mike]

A man I know a. That looks just like Lex Washington look just like that.

[Pat]

What was your problem with airbud?

[Mike]

He don't know he was a white man.

[Pat]

It did kind of see

[Mike]

he was white.

[Ryan]

You know what I'm saying?

[Mike]

They never brought like a black character to it.

[Pat]

Golden retriever does seem like a. Like a.

[Carrie]

That's a white family. I don't know too many black families with a golden retriever.

[Mike]

I don't know too many black people that treat a golden retriever like that. Like that. That. It wasn't no black people in the movie.

[Pat]

They got more PT than. Than the black people.

[Mike]

I'm not gonna lie. If I would have ever played football versus airbud, man, them would have put me in jail. Oh, man, I would have Will Smith that like they did on Legend. I would have choked that out. The end zone. He shot the dog, they got 300 yards. I'm sick of this dog.

[Pat]

Dog gave more playtime time. That's when it started getting ridiculous, when they started making that play too many sports. Like was playing football, bro.

[Nick]

Hockey.

[Mike]

I'm not gonna lie. If I play. If I play. Airbud. And he kept like doing me over. I'll just be like, bro, I'm putting peanut butter on my gloves.

[Pat]

Airbud played basketball, football, soccer, ba. Okay, now baseball is crazy. Baseball is crazy. Football is kind of crazy. Soccer, come on now.

[Carrie]

Y' all hating on the dog.

[Pat]

Basketball and volleyball, I can kind of get like. Just because, like, you can throw.

[Mike]

No, basketball is literally the worst one. And that was the first one.

[Nick]

That was the first one originally.

[Mike]

It's really the worst one because it's

[Pat]

not that bad because you can kind of throw the oop to the dog. He don't have to dribble like.

[Mike]

Who guarding that, though?

[Carrie]

What is that?

[Pat]

That's what I'm saying.

[Mike]

Huh?

[Carrie]

What is the plot?

[Mike]

The dog, like, helps to win a championship.

[Nick]

I think the dog used to belong to a clown. And then a family finds him because he runs away because he's tired of being a clown dog.

[Carrie]

And then so he want to be an athlete.

[Nick]

Talented and.

[Mike]

Yeah, talented.

[Pat]

Airbud follows a 12 year old Josh Fram, a lonely boy who moves to a new town after his father dies. Josh befriends a runaway golden retriever named Buddy, who has an amazing talent for playing basketball. Together they join the school team and face Buddy's cruel former owner.

[Mike]

Yeah, the clown, bro. That's just so stupid. They didn't even check that age. They like just letting.

[Carrie]

What's the rating on that one?

[Mike]

Playing with high schoolers? Probably higher than the.

[Pat]

Higher than what you said though.

[Mike]

In the suburbs. I swear, I bet you it is that in the suburbs.

[Pat]

But honestly, I think down the line it definitely probably was. Probably went down a little bit.

[Nick]

Yeah, because people soccer and.

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mike]

They up the game with the hockey. They had kids and they all played

[Nick]

different sports or some.

[Mike]

Oh, for real. It was a. Yeah, yeah, yeah, bro.

[Pat]

They started going downhill, bro.

[Mike]

They made a franchise like, man, that's. That's airborne.

[Nick]

Third son.

[Carrie]

He left a legacy.

[Pat]

Oh, maybe not just. It's 5.65. 5.4.

[Carrie]

Okay.

[Mike]

That's pretty good rating for a movie starring a dog. You talking about in the suburbs with Brenda Songs and the girl from Good Luck Charlie. Them two major actors.

[Carrie]

Y' all tripping.

[Mike]

Okay, next tweet of the week. Why he find that all right. This girl said, after two cut waters, I'm taking a ten pound out.

[Chris]

Whoa.

[Carrie]

That's wild.

[Alex]

Okay,

[Pat]

that's crazy. No comment.

[Mike]

No comment here. Why not?

[Carrie]

Some people run red lights.

[Pat]

Some people not fed a little ketchup.

[Mike]

Man, ketchup is immature.

[Nick]

Some people ain't afraid to be a vampire.

[Jean]

Lie.

[Mike]

No. What the.

[Alex]

Not a.

[Mike]

Ran some red lights, but ain't drinking no red.

[Jean]

You talk.

[Pat]

I believe it.

[Mike]

Think he on Twilight and

[Pat]

Jean Patterson.

[Mike]

No, that's. No the way. The way I. I don't want to ru it, but the way. Was it Robert Patterson, the way he said beggar?

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

In that movie. He better watch his mom. I know that, but. Okay. Oh, yeah, I already read that one. Some dude tweeted and said, my dad definitely went for looks. My mom's food deserves to be on Fear Factor. I'm not gonna lie. I had an aunt. So this again, another Odyssey pool. You know the. There's a scene where Cersei is. I'm not gonna rule it, but Cersei is making people eat, you know, something. And she's watching them eat and making sure they feel like finish their meals. But I don't want to ruin it. But I had an aunt who used to. Couldn't cook for shit, and she would sit down at the table and watch you eat the shit and then make you compliment her like, it's good, ain't it? It's good.

[Carrie]

She thought it was good, too, bro.

[Mike]

I was.

[Nick]

Did you ever see her eat this shit?

[Pat]

No.

[Mike]

And right hand of God. I had heartburn at 9. My chest used to be hurting. I'm like, why the fuck? My chest hurt. One time I watched her cook, bro. She used to take the. So I didn't even know the why part. Like, you know, on salt and shit, or when you get a new spice, there's a wide part on there that you never use. You're like, why the fuck would I use this?

[Nick]

They don't take the rat. You usually don't take the wrapping off that side.

[Mike]

Yeah, she used to take the whole top off that bitch and go like this and shake it over. I said, we gonna die.

[Pat]

I had an aunt that was not great at cooking either. And my. My strategy was also to, like. I would like, shift the food to one side the plate to make it seem like I like, I. Like I ate the food like I damn full. I just like, almost like you're making like a pile. You just gotta like move it, maneuver it. Yeah. Eat a couple bites, obviously. Cause you just Gotta, you know, you got to. But I was just like shifted over a little bit.

[Carrie]

You got strategy.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Also my best strategy was if I eat everything but one thing, I'm good. And if there was ever like, my mom made mashed potatoes a lot and I would get. If I didn't want to eat it, I could already tell that I'm not going to like that. I would get a lot of mashed potatoes and I would hide everything inside the mashed potatoes. And then one day she called me and she made me eat all that.

[Pat]

Now, growing up, Nigerian aunts, they don't let you serve your own food. They gonna put exactly, exactly. They're gonna give you the full arrangement. Like you're gonna eat everything on the menu.

[Carrie]

And you can't get no juice before you eat it.

[Pat]

Hell no. Water

[Mike]

never got no juice. Somebody says, stop raising these kids in motels. Little just told me he from Daisy

[Nick]

saying,

[Pat]

I don't think I've ever slept at a motel before.

[Mike]

At a motel. I'm trying to think maybe when I was younger. Because it's. It's a motel if it's only two stories. Right?

[Nick]

Is that the.

[Mike]

And they don't have a lobby classification.

[Carrie]

I thought it was just called motel.

[Mike]

Yeah, but I'm just. I mean, what's the definition of a motel?

[Carrie]

Trash. I don't know.

[Mike]

All motels aren't trash. There's some motels that are okay.

[Pat]

Yeah, there's some motels are okay.

[Mike]

All motels are trash.

[Pat]

I don't know.

[Nick]

Motels and accommodations specifically designed for motorists. Exterior room doors that are open directly into a parking lot. Yeah.

[Mike]

So no lobby area. Yeah, basically. So that's the difference.

[Pat]

Yeah. I never slept in one of those.

[Mike]

I have. I've been protested and demonstrated.

[Nick]

All right.

[Mike]

Somebody said, what the. You mean you ain't ready for a relationship? When I met you on a dating app. Which is true.

[Carrie]

I think it needs to be clear. Like, put that in your bio.

[Mike]

You. I mean, I mean, it's true though. There should be like a genre on dating apps.

[Pat]

But just be like, yeah, I guess if it's just there for like a good time.

[Mike]

But you know, people infiltrate that because there'll be people. Like, it's some people that get off on that shit. You can literally have categories because like people that are just looking for kind of a hookup dating and you date multiple people go here and then people that's looking for a long term relationship come here. It's still going to be a nigga. Like, nah, I Want the long term relationship baddies. They way better. There's a nigga hit up, bro. Did you ever hit the long term relationship part? Nah, bro. Bro, they way batter in there.

[Pat]

You got to go get that. Somebody puts in their profile. Not looking for, for a long term relationships. Like what are you looking for? A fun time, just like in the moment type of thing.

[Carrie]

Yeah. Probably a situationship or you just want somebody to kick it with or.

[Nick]

But do you feel like a summer fling?

[Pat]

But then, But I feel like sometimes people put that in their bio. But then expecting like a, a different type of person that approaches them.

[Carrie]

Well, then they're dumb.

[Pat]

Yeah. Because I'm like, if you have that in your, you know, you get approached by people that maybe just want to have sex.

[Chris]

Sex.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Nick]

And then it's hard to be taken serious.

[Pat]

Yeah, exactly.

[Mike]

But it's all. But it's also dumb though because if somebody, if, if it's a woman that puts that on, let's say it's a very attractive woman that says, I'm not looking for anything long term. A guy that's looking for something long term that don't mean to him. Yeah, he's still going to holler and it might be like an easier way now I don't have to tell you as much about me. And then we can start it even earlier. So I just feel like that's stupid. Overall, I'm just like, so I have

[Pat]

to get off dating now. I was on it for like, like a month. It was too tough.

[Mike]

I didn't get on it at all because like I, I saw some of your stuff that you had and you'd be like, yo, we know her.

[Pat]

Like, that was the weird part.

[Mike]

Yeah. I never want people I know like going past my dating profile and it's like, what the. Like they just saw information about Milwaukee.

[Pat]

Like, I never set my location to Milwaukee. I just did Chicago because it's the next biggest city. Because Milwaukee's like, everybody knows everybody. And I'll see some girls and they see like the, their hobbies and their profile. Like, she's lying.

[Mike]

Yeah. We don't even have water skiers here.

[Pat]

What are you talking about? She doesn't own a horse. She doesn't like horseback riding. No.

[Mike]

You know what would be so up? If you was in a club and then you saw a girl literally go to your profile and then swipe the exo. Hell no. Hey, hey, hey.

[Nick]

I know that.

[Pat]

But that starts to feel like they now start to feel like a game though.

[Mike]

Like it's like, it is.

[Carrie]

It's like a rush of dopamine. I feel like, to people's brains.

[Jean]

Yeah.

[Carrie]

As they're swiping through, they just want to feel wanted. I know some people who just want to connect with people where you guys match, and then it goes nowhere just because it gives them that ego boost.

[Pat]

That was. That was me. No, but not. Not the part of, like, the part of, like, matching with people and, like, not doing anything after we matched. Not even, like, reaching out.

[Mike]

I feel like that's. That's the game.

[Pat]

Like, you, like, okay, what am I? Because then you start to, like, put yourself in a position where it's like, do I really want to put this effort? Cause again, I was doing Chicago, so it's like, do I really want to put the effort to go in Chicago? Especially when you get out of relationship. I think the hardest part is, like, especially long term relationship is trying to, like, reintroduce yourself and start telling people about yourself so much. And that part just seems like, bro, I'm not trying to keep doing this over and over. You know how many times I had to tell somebody I was born in Nigeria, grew up in Chicago, then went back to high school, went back to high school in Nigeria, went to college here, played professional football, and now I'm here and this and that.

[Jamal]

That.

[Pat]

Telling that story over and over and over. It's like, bruh, that's why I had

[Mike]

to get out the man. Because me, if I keep telling the same story over and over, you might

[Pat]

want to spice it up a little.

[Mike]

I'm about to start lying. And then I'm wondering, like, I'm on a third date with the girl. She'd be like, okay, show me your daughter. I'm like, hold on. Said, I got a dog talking about you D. All right, man, this date is over with you pay attention a little bit too much. That's the up part about, like, the date, like, not wanting to tell people certain things about you. And then, like, and then, like, having to because of just the longevity of the conversation, like, damn, okay, they didn't told me some stuff about them. And then you figure out, like, damn, it's not going to work. And now there's this person in your city that knows something about you and you don't know who they're telling. And people talk more about. About the people that they don't hook up with than the people that they do. So they yapping about you, you know?

[Carrie]

This dude

[Mike]

podcast, what'd he say to you? Anywho, this Is my favorite tweet. Somebody said you. This is for Mike, too.

[Pat]

Oh, okay.

[Mike]

Somebody said, you know, your feet big. When everybody use your shoes to take the trash out. This big foot ass nigga. It was one time, it was like an emergency going on, and. And I thought my car was going to get told, and I saw two shoes at the door. I was like, bruh, I put on his big boats. You know, them are clean. I said, God damn. My shoes would have took a while. I had to sit down.

[Pat]

The worst part is when you, you know, you guys have. I'm gonna say you guys have small feet, but you guys have, like, regular side feet. I use y' all as flip flops, you know?

[Ryan]

You know?

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah. You just stump the. The heel flat as.

[Mike]

What happened to my off white Disrespectful. No, that's crazy.

[Pat]

You ever borrow your. Like, you're like, growing up, especially in high school, sometimes you exchange clothes with your friends, you know, your shoes and stuff like that.

[Mike]

Never. But I get what you're saying.

[Pat]

You never, like, let their friend borrow some shoes in high school.

[Mike]

Maybe stole my dad's is probably the closest I get with that.

[Pat]

But I'm letting my friends borrowed my shoes in high school.

[Mike]

That's crazy. Borrow your shoes?

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Nick]

I feel like I said this before. We used to. Homies used to swap shoes.

[Gene]

Shoes.

[Pat]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Nick]

I used to wear the opposite.

[Carrie]

Yeah, Sometimes that's how you knew you was best friends.

[Pat]

Yeah, like my good friends. Like, but then. But then it's like when you borrow something, somebody, and you see the way they, like, they handle it, how they moving around. It's like, all right, bro. I would have like, bro, you could have jumped over that puddle, bro. Like, why? Walking through dirt roads. And I'm like, what the.

[Mike]

Not a worse, is it? When I listen to my bro, my car, and it was like, zooming around. I was like, wait, what the.

[Pat]

You see them pulling up and they're zooming through, like, the campus? I'm like, bro, hitting everybody. Yeah. Calling me and like, bro, Mike, why you driving so fast on campus? Like, bro, that is not me.

[Mike]

No, bro, I legit let one of my friends borrow my car. And I told him, hey, bro, I need my car back by a certain time, cuz I got to get off work. He's like, oh, I just bring the car straight to you.

[Nick]

You.

[Mike]

So he pulled up at my job, and he like, bro, just hop in. We ain't got a switch. Like, I'm like, all right. Bet you can drive me to the crib. And then he drove me to the crib. He's like, all right, bro. I was like, park my.

[Gene]

My.

[Mike]

What the you mean, all right?

[Jean]

I got.

[Mike]

My dumb ass got out. Like, thanks, bro. Like, wait a minute.

[Pat]

Now. The worst part is when you let somebody borrow your car. And this is kind of like the. The beauty of being adults now.

[Ryan]

Now.

[Pat]

But when you let somebody borrow your car and they don't put, like, the right amount of gas in there, it's like. And sometimes I think when. Especially when we're in college, my thing was like, if I borrow your car, I'm gonna, like, at least put it, like, $5 more than what. What?

[Mike]

I.

[Pat]

What? You let me borrow.

[Mike]

It has to be some perk to, like, yeah, I'll let you borrow my car, and I'm not charging you for it. Yeah, come on.

[Pat]

Don't. Don't feel my right up to the line. Like, nah, bro. Like, put a little extra gas in my.

[Carrie]

I'm trying to think if. When I let my friend borrow my car, just put gas in it, I feel like she did. I let her use it a lot, so.

[Jamal]

Who.

[Carrie]

One of my friends.

[Mike]

They still your friend?

[Carrie]

No.

[Mike]

God damn. I'm like, I'm worried about. I'm worried about our friendship. Like, we got a time living on.

[Carrie]

This stuff is looking a lot better now.

[Pat]

No, we. I was telling Carrie this. We got. Think we. We do have to hang out as a group outside of the pod. I don't think we do that enough.

[Mike]

No, we definitely have great chemistry.

[Pat]

I don't know. Carrie wants to hang out with us outside the pod.

[Mike]

Come on, now.

[Carrie]

I would hang with y'.

[Ryan]

All.

[Pat]

Nah, I don't. I don't know why you making that

[Carrie]

face after I've had this face the whole time.

[Mike]

That's what I'm saying.

[Carrie]

I would hang with y'.

[Jean]

All.

[Ryan]

Okay.

[Mike]

No, that's. Okay. That's good.

[Carrie]

We did hang somewhere.

[Ryan]

Remember?

[Carrie]

We went to Elsa's real quick.

[Pat]

No, I left. I left early, though.

[Mike]

No, that's.

[Pat]

We're there for, like, legit three. Three minutes.

[Mike]

I'm telling you, you came late.

[Carrie]

I didn't come late. It was right after this.

[Pat]

No, you came late.

[Mike]

No, you didn't come later.

[Pat]

We literally already one drink down. Yes, you came late.

[Carrie]

Oh, Because y' all switched the location up. Oh, they don't want me to come.

[Pat]

It didn't seem like we're spending. You didn't it.

[Alex]

You did.

[Mike]

Well, he had to go, so we went to Elsa's. We was going to go to the other place. But I'm not trying to be fed like y'.

[Nick]

All.

[Mike]

Y trying to get a show up and what. All right, this tweet of the week, the.

[Pat]

That everybody see outside.

[Mike]

They don't know where I'm going, though. That's the thing. Until I'm there. Oh, man, I ain't got no bullets in this. I know that nigga's gonna be here.

[Carrie]

And you don't post when you're. When you go somewhere, even after you leave. I don't really see you post about you?

[Nick]

Hell, no.

[Mike]

I hate that shit.

[Pat]

I feel like people shouldn't do that in general. No matter if you're, like, posting, like, where you exactly where you are, like, at that moment, Especially if it's like a. A public event, then it's like, it is what it is. Like, I'm at this public event, but it's like something a little more intimate, like, just like, friends and shit like that.

[Mike]

I can't sometimes, like, I'm worried about. Like, I was worried about going to the night market alone. Like, I hate sometimes going places alone because then it invites more conversation. So I was just like, damn, I really want to put like. Like, head it here, but I can't even do that. You can't even be like, night market tonight. Then people see your stuff. Like, okay, he going to be at

[Pat]

the night market or you get the wrong responses.

[Mike]

Yeah. Not yeah, yeah. Hey, bro. I got you, bro. I'mma see you there.

[Pat]

Bro.

[Mike]

This about to be a movie. Oh, my God.

[Carrie]

I hate when people say that. That is such a ran.

[Mike]

This about to be rated 3.3 on imbd. This your ass. Okay.

[Pat]

I can't believe Pat wants me to go to Toronto.

[Mike]

That's how I be for real. My. I had to learn my lesson with that because, like, when you're not to say, like, regular person, but, like, when you're not an Internet personality, stuff you says get passed in the wind. You know what I'm saying? So, like, if I go up to a friend and I'm still working corporate as a marketing strategist, and I'm telling them, like, yo, bro, yeah, bro, I'm trying to go to. I'm going to Texas in the summer. Summer, dude. Like, all right, bet I might slide to Texas, too. But he know he on his own. He good. Like, he gotta pay his way. But like, now, like, we at the point where it's just like, yo, bro, I'm sliding to Toronto. Hey, bro, you got room at the Airbnb for me, it's like, hold on, it ain't that type of party, man. Hold on. Y' all sound like Russia. I'm not gonna lie.

[Pat]

I don't know if they can hear it on camera, but it's like the air and water show. There's literally jets flying past our freaking 25 story building right now.

[Mike]

I'm not gonna lie. If that was another country attacking us, I'm not dumb enough to like run, you know what I'm saying? Like, like, if it's like a. It's like a fighter jet, right? And then shooting, it's gonna shoot through this part of the building. Like, regardless, I'm trying to aura farm. Like, if his bullets coming through the windshield, tweet of the week,

[Ryan]

I try

[Mike]

to go viral one last time.

[Pat]

He wants to end his life. His last thing to be twerking.

[Carrie]

Quiet on the creek.

[Mike]

Quiet on the creek.

[Pat]

That's exactly what they just came out

[Mike]

with the video to that.

[Pat]

There was a video now.

[Mike]

Yeah, I saw. Well, I didn't see the whole video. I saw a screenshot because somebody was mad that it was at. It said Creek University. And they're like, why is this at a school?

[Pat]

Did y' all see that, that video of Usher bringing somebody on stage and. And her not looking like she was like really into it. And then he's like, I don't think she want to be up here. Do you think, like, if you, if you're obviously. I'm pretty sure she's seen a Usher concert. Do you think that she's wrong for even going on stage if she knew she was going to act like that?

[Carrie]

Somebody in the comments has said, I think she thought she was going up there for Chris. So when she got ushered, she probably was just not impressed.

[Pat]

I don't think that's what happened, though.

[Carrie]

I feel like that would be funny though.

[Pat]

That would be funny. But like, do you think, like, if, like if you go to a live show and you know what these people do on stage.

[Carrie]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Do you think it's like your obligation to also participate in that thing or is it like maybe you kind of changed your mind and you felt like you got uncomfortable once you kind of got in the moment.

[Carrie]

That's really hard to decide because having somebody up there like a Usher or Chris Brown who, you know, they might try to kiss you or something like that, you don't know how far they're going to go because they're all in relationships.

[Pat]

Yeah. But you've seen how far they've gone.

[Carrie]

You See how far they've gone. I don't want to say, like, oh, just because she's up there now. She don't have the right to say, oh, I don't want to kiss you.

[Pat]

No, no. Well, she does have the right to.

[Carrie]

She does. But now people looking at her like, she weird. And we looking at her like, girl, you shouldn't have been up there if you wasn't trying to bust it open.

[Mike]

Yeah, but I feel like the. I feel like her argument would be like, okay, it's either y' all call me weird or like, whoever back home see this, like, whether that's a family she don't want to embarrass or her significant other brother. It's like one of those.

[Nick]

That's.

[Mike]

That's her option. Because I feel like getting called on. It's just like, I can't tell you how many times somebody just like, yo, like, who. Who trying to take this free trip to, you know, Cancun. We got. We got the whole thing. Oh, yeah, I am, bro. Then be like, all right. Bet you're like, hold on, let me think about it. And it's just like, somebody was probably choosing, like, who want to come on stage. She probably raising her hand like, me, me, me. I come on stage with Usher and then Usher, like, yeah, I choose you. She's like, oh, cuz.

[Pat]

I'm like, if I'm like a Meg the Stallion concert or a Rihanna concert and they pull me on stage, I think initially, if I see what they do at their. Or Tiana Taylor or Cardi B. Yeah, if I see what they do on. I already see what they see on stage. I might be so, like, shocked at the point. That's like, she already caught. She's like, if I see Rihanna do like this, like, come on. My head might be like, what are

[Mike]

you willing to do?

[Pat]

So I might. It might be like a. It might be an out of body experience where it's like, oh, now I'm on state. But it's like, I know what she about to do. Not. Maybe not.

[Mike]

That's like another horror farming moment too, though.

[Pat]

Wait, what the fuck was that?

[Mike]

No, no, no, no, no. We not letting that slide.

[Chris]

No, no, no.

[Mike]

But I know what you want to do. No, you're not about to do this. You literally went, Girl, baby, you won't believe this.

[Pat]

Megan Stallion. She forced me on stage.

[Carrie]

That is.

[Pat]

There's just ass everywhere.

[Mike]

That's exactly how you explain it to V. And I'm like, bro, I'm in a trans. I'M like, what she want me to do, B? I'm telling you, before I knew it, I was already back in the crowd. I don't know why my pants wet.

[Chris]

I don't.

[Mike]

I spilled.

[Pat]

But like, for. For instance, it might have been like one of those things where it's just like, oh, Usher is telling me to come on stage right now.

[Carrie]

Yeah. But.

[Pat]

But now I'm in this moment. Now it's like, oh, I don't know if I would really want to do this because she. Everybody knows how viral them shits be going.

[Carrie]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Like, Chris Brown was. Was. Was dry humping a girl in doggy style.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Carrie]

They be kissing, making out and stuff. And like, I get it if you last minute are just like, oh, I don't want to. But. But the fact that he called it out and like, oh, she don't want

[Mike]

to be up here. I mean, that's good. It is.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Jamal]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Getting turned down, especially getting turned down by a woman. Like, I don't know how many women are at a Chris Brown Usher concert. And Usher probably can say, there's probably a thousand women in here who want me and my dumbass picked the one who don't. So, hell yeah. He probably. But it's like, what the fuck?

[Pat]

But it's also good on him, too, that he kind of noticed that some people.

[Mike]

That instinct.

[Pat]

Some artists might be oblivious to the fact that she looked a little, like, uncomfortable. So it's just like he, He. He played it cool and he did what he's supposed to do. He made. He made it a joke, too. So it was like. I think it was, like, all around. Wasn't that big of a deal. But some people were like, I saw people killing her in the comments.

[Carrie]

Oh, I know people are going to be on her head for her next post.

[Mike]

Yeah, but that's. But I think she should come out and just be like, yo, Usher called me on stage. I love Usher. And when he called me on, I'm like, one of my favorite artists is calling me on stage. And when I stepped on the stage, I realized, like, oh, shit. Only time people come on stage, it has to be something sexual. And I got this back home or this back home. So I'd rather have this embarrassment of y' all killing me than to be, like, getting humped on on stage and lose something I got back home.

[Jean]

Boo.

[Carrie]

Get off the stage.

[Pat]

Stop doing the cherries. What now?

[Carrie]

This is a new tour.

[Nick]

My baby.

[Mike]

It ain't even Kool Aid Pineapples.

[Pat]

She probably went on stage, was like, damn, what is she.

[Alex]

He's at.

[Pat]

This usher is, like, 2 inches away

[Mike]

from my face, like, laying her out on the bed. No, no, Gene Crazy Jean said he gonna have a Kool Aid, pineapples up there. Kool Aid, pineapple. That going to jail if you do that. That's some Cosby right there trying to give her a heart attack.

[Pat]

Oh, man.

[Mike]

Oh. Last tweet of the weeks. Okay, I gotta say bitches, because they. They told me last week. Ladies, I really don't want to say this shit. It says, be on live with one viewer squinting their eyes. Come on, come on, come on, come on, man.

[Jamal]

Okay.

[Mike]

It says, be on live with one viewer squinting their eyes. You see, Shanice?

[Pat]

I feel like rappers do that too, though. It'd be, like, a lot of rappers that kind of do. They be on live. They'd be like, what y' all talking about? And I see them, like, scrolling the screen like, the chat is not even

[Mike]

moving that one tweet from there. I do that on Twitch sometime, but sometime it's my adhd, and I'm like, hold on, hold on. Slow down, y'. All. It's like we barely typing in this place. Just scroll up a little bit.

[Pat]

Or they pretend. You know, when somebody sees something on their live, they to try to ignore, because some people have a really bad, annoying face. Cuz you get.

[Mike]

Okay, this is my favorite.

[Carrie]

It was. It was irrelevant a little bit. But I was gonna say y' all were on live one time, and I was in the messages saying stuff, and you were not reading it, and I was like, is he doing this on purpose? Another one, the same thing. And you looked right past it again and mentioned the person either above me or below me. And then eventually I did it again.

[Pat]

I'm not gonna lie. Sometimes I ignore, like, people I actually know in real life.

[Mike]

Yes.

[Carrie]

Oh, okay.

[Mike]

It's way. I hate when people do that. And this is. No, like, next time, we'll just bring you into the live. I'd rather do that. But I hate when we're doing something like, listener callers live, anything. And it's somebody we know because it's like, the dialogue that we have with our listeners is dope because it's anonymous. Like, they don't know us. They never met us. But you on here, like, trying to conversate with me. I had so many people, like, my cousin, like, let me in alive. To do what? Like, what we gonna do?

[Pat]

I don't think I was ignoring you on purpose.

[Carrie]

Y' all weren't doing that. And you was changing your clothes 5,000 times.

[Mike]

Oh, that live. Was that YouTube?

[Carrie]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Oh, okay.

[Mike]

You must. You definitely was skipping past.

[Carrie]

My name's a Carrie Noni. I was like, what the heck?

[Pat]

I feel like I said something, though, eventually.

[Carrie]

You did. After, like, my favorite.

[Mike]

Oh, okay.

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah. Come on now.

[Mike]

Fake as hell, bro.

[Pat]

I'm about to say no.

[Mike]

I just think Mike never said that. We would have never known that Mike said something. You was about to let us lie.

[Jean]

You.

[Mike]

You little slay.

[Pat]

I told her.

[Carrie]

I'm just saying. You missed.

[Pat]

And she ain't touched that.

[Ryan]

That.

[Pat]

That water. This whole p. We've been shooting for an hour right now.

[Carrie]

How many times have I touched it?

[Nick]

Three.

[Carrie]

Thank you.

[Pat]

Yeah, now. Now we got an actual carry. A carry water counter now.

[Carrie]

It was like three. I do recall.

[Mike]

No. Yo, your fiance experimenting with everything. Maybe if I make it three different colors, she'll start drinking the. They gotta make it shiny for her to drink.

[Carrie]

It gotta be cold, though.

[Mike]

Water gotta be just right. Carrie gonna be in the desert. I ain't drinking that.

[Pat]

I say she died of dehydration. Wait,

[Mike]

it was too warm. Okay, My. My favorite tweet of the week. I don't know if y' all gonna rock with this, but this is funny.

[Carrie]

Me to.

[Mike]

To me first to die to an rpg ain't deserves that. Not gonna lie.

[Pat]

No, that must have been, like, shell shocked. Like, what is happening right now?

[Mike]

Okay, the next tweet says, probably laughed at the shooting. It like, yo, did this bring a trumpet to a gun, Bro? That must have been crazy.

[Alex]

What?

[Mike]

Definitely looked that right in the eye. Like, what the. Oh, my God.

[Pat]

Damn.

[Mike]

Okay. That's all my tweets.

[Pat]

Anyway, that's been the podcast. I appreciate y'. All. We actually have a podcast with Carrie coming out. She actually invited us. This comes out on Wednesday, so I don't know when the actual podcast is going to be out by here by now.

[Carrie]

I don't know when it is. Corey's editing it right now.

[Pat]

Oh, okay. So she doesn't. She doesn't know when it's coming up. But make sure you guys subscribe to her YouTube page. She does have a YouTube page. Can you tell them what your YouTube page is?

[Carrie]

Yes, my YouTube is just my name. Carrie Nonie C A R I E N O N I Brain Squeeze Pod is the audio of all of my podcasts, the video that we did for the podcast with them, the interview that's going to be on my YouTube car noni. So audio Brain Squeeze Pie is Audio.

[Pat]

So is it going to be on audio, too?

[Carrie]

Yes. Brain Squeeze Pie will have the audio.

[Pat]

Oh, I'm just saying. You just say there is going to be on video. Okay.

[Mike]

I'm just making sure that. Mansplaining, Bro, we gotta let women speak for themselves.

[Pat]

There's, like, they might not be no tickets for past lives.

[Mike]

Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. I don't even want to talk about the live show. It's over, bro.

[Pat]

Okay. Sold out.

[Mike]

If y' all want us to open up more tickets, though, let us know. And then Maybe we got 25 more spots if y' all wanna slide through.

[Pat]

And then crashdummieslive.com we're gonna be in San Francisco. Cali. I mean, I said cali. San Francisco, Louisiana. Orlando, Tampa, Miami, Houston, Irving, Dallas, D.C.

[Mike]

most likely through New York.

[Pat]

September 11th, Boston. I think that's when we going.

[Carrie]

I know, but you said it like that on purpose.

[Mike]

No, I didn't. I did. New York. Why wouldn't I point out New York? That's one of the major places.

[Carrie]

You paused it, man.

[Mike]

You just.

[Carrie]

You. And you said the date.

[Mike]

September 11th. That's the date we're gonna be there.

[Pat]

Yeah, we are gonna be there that day, man. We might be there actually September 10th, though, but we'll be in. The show is September 11th. And then keep it playing. You. England, London, Birmingham, Manchester. We're going to be there. Remember, tickets atcrass dummies live.com subscribe to our Patreon. Follow us on all platforms. Gene, you're pointing at me.

[Nick]

No.

[Pat]

Oh, you just kind of acknowledging.

[Nick]

Making sure you're good.

[Pat]

Yeah, Jean, Life, music, Soul Child.

[Mike]

No,

[Jamal]

no.

[Mike]

Jean dressed like he own a Dominican coffee shop.

[Pat]

With the table right there, too. You ever see that meme where it's like, the owner of those foreign coffee shops, how they be acting? They be sitting in the front on the phone and. And they'd be having a conversation. Everybody, they're on the phone.

[Mike]

Like, come.

[Pat]

Anyway, that's been the podcast. Appreciate y'. All. Peace.

[Nick]

Hey, it's Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile. Now, I was looking for fun ways

[Pat]

to tell you that Mint's offer of unlimited Premium Wireless for $15 a month is back. So I thought it would be fun if we made $15 bills, but it turns out that's very illegal.

[Mike]

So there goes my big idea for the commercial.

[Nick]

Give it a [e-mail] switch.

[Mike]

Upfront payment of $45 for three months, $90 for six months, or $180 for a 12 month plan required $15 per month equivalent taxes and fees. Extra initial plan term only greater than 50 gigabytes.

[Ryan]

Me slow when network.