Scissors, Cellmates & Bail Money - Episode 216

Summary

Crash Dummies Podcast with Pat and Mike

Episode 216: "Scissors, Cellmates & Bail Money"

Release Date: July 23, 2025

Overview

In this lively and wide-ranging episode, Pat and Mike—joined by recurring guest Jean—delve into viral current events, relationship drama, the nuances of jailhouse culture, generational curses, music legends, and plenty of wild, “only-on-Crash Dummies” call-ins. The guys blend sharp humor with real talk as they break down everything from infamous concert cheating scandals to the complexities of resilience in relationships, all while fielding hilarious and surprisingly candid listener stories.

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Key Discussion Points

1. Sleep Styles, Announcements, and Superman's Ethics

• The episode jumps right in with the guys riffing on weird sleeping positions before Pat launches into a passionate (and comical) critique of Superman’s approach to justice.

  • Pat: “Superman literally waits. He tries to save the people that are doing bad to the city. ...But as the big dude about to fall, he go save the big dude from falling.” [00:33]
  • Pat expresses his clear preference for Batman’s brand of justice: “If somebody just stole my car, Batman go beat the up there repeatedly, over and over, bro.” [01:13]

• The nostalgia keeps rolling with memories of awkward school announcement gigs and why Pat got suspended for giving a shoutout to Jesus—at a Catholic school. [04:19]

2. The Coldplay CEO Cheating Scandal

(Main segment: [04:31] – [18:21] and [80:16] – [81:57])

• The main news topic: a CEO caught cheating on the Coldplay concert kiss cam with his HR director. The fallout is dissected with classic Crash Dummies energy.

  • “I think being that comfortable when you know you’re not doing the right thing is always a man's downfall.” – Mike [05:00]
  • The reaction that escalated everything: “The ducking down thing…I can understand the hiding the face, and the other stuff. Cuz even couples do that.” – Mike [06:42]

• The guys discuss layers of consequences, public scrutiny, workplace dynamics, and whether either party should keep their job or their relationship.

  • “How she get the job? ...You doing human resources on his d***.” – Pat [10:43]
  • “Imagine if a cop is pulling you over and taking you out the car for a DUI...and then you look at him and he been drinking too.” – Pat [12:48]

• Tangents include corporate workplace drama, the meme-ification of the scandal, and sympathy for the kids involved in viral family scandals.

3. Military Pride and Fighter Jets Flyover

• A tangent inspired by a Milwaukee air show: “How the f*** do you see a fighter jet and then say, yeah, I’ma fight on foot?” – Pat [18:58]
• Examining the logic (or lack thereof) in ground-war, and national pride—especially when faced with overwhelming U.S. military technology.

4. Cooking at "K Pot" and Breakfast Hot Takes

[20:48]

• The crew talks about the trend of restaurants where you cook your own food (“K Pot”), and why breakfast foods do not belong on DIY griddles.
  • “If I f*** up my pancakes, I gotta eat this too. Like, why the f*** did I show up here?” – Pat [21:28]

5. Resilience & Suffering as Relationship Criteria

[23:05]

• Pat muses on the importance of a partner’s ability to bounce back from hardship—as a prerequisite for long-term relationships.
  • “A person that can suffer the best is—that’s my type of person. …You don’t know how they’re gonna act.” – Pat [24:10]
  • “So you want somebody…That sounds crazy. I get it in theory, but it just sounds like ‘I need someone that has bad shit happen to you already.’” – Mike [24:12]

6. Nicknames, Legends, and Music Debate

[25:18] – [32:39]

• The trio reminisces about childhood (and questionable) nicknames before launching into a discussion about what makes someone a “legend.”
  • “Y’ all gotta stop the Nicki Minaj disrespect…Two legends can coexist.” – Pat [27:20]
  • “Sometimes the legend word is kind of tough… My definition, like I’ve heard you call people legends before…” – Mike [30:55]
• They compare the “cultural legend” status of figures like Allen Iverson, Marshawn Lynch, and Dipset to those with statistical dominance.

7. WNBA All-Star Weekend and “Girls Night Out” Energy

[32:39] – [36:12]

• Pat and Mike note the transparency and relatability of WNBA players compared to NBA stars: “It look like a girls night out…and they partying.” – Pat [34:22]
• Discussion on how queer identity is normalized in the women’s league versus the men’s.

8. Tweet of the Week

[36:35]

• The guys highlight wild Twitter takes, including a viral Family Guy hot take about dating Brian the dog: “If dogs could talk in real life, people would date them. And I think that’s true.” – Pat [37:41]

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Memorable Caller Segments

1. Ugly Babies, Jail Time & Bumping Coochies

Hilarious and raw: Two listener calls offer wild personal stories blending relationship anxiety, the felony lifestyle, and prison romance.

• “Am I the a**hole for not wanting to have a baby with my current boyfriend because his first baby is ugly?” – Caller [41:26]
  • Caller candidly discusses her “good guy, good credit, not my type” boyfriend, three felonies, and her time in women’s prison. The crew presses for honesty:
    • “You said that he don’t have sex good…and then this call, you’re saying he’s ugly.” – Pat [43:03]
    • The realities of prison: “Women just bumping coochies in there. You might get into a little fight here and there, but be on some cool shit in jail.” – Caller [45:04]

2. Generational Curse: The Case of the Bums

[48:59]

• Another caller reflects on a family legacy of dating “bum a** n****s” and her resolve to break the cycle.
  • “My grandma loves bums. So it’s just like, get it together. At some point this n***a done gave you herpes and bad bugs.” – Caller [50:11]
  • “That’s her generational curse. We deal with bum ass n****s.” – Caller [51:16]

3. Relationship Loyalty & Petty Rivalries

[56:18]

• Callers and hosts debate whether it’s right to steal back an ex from a homeboy, and what truly makes a person a “lame.”

4. Scissoring Scenarios

[69:06]

• “What’s something you saw you weren’t supposed to see?” leads to a story about walking in on a couple scissoring—except it’s a guy and girl, confusing everyone.
  • “We went into her roommate’s room looking for her other friend, and my homegirl was scissoring this guy on the ground.” – Caller [69:06]

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Notable Quotes & Highlights

• On Superman’s Brand of Justice:
  “He wants justice. Yeah, he wants justice. Like Lex Luthor been killing, bro. And this dude just keep locking them up, bro.” – Pat [01:02]

• On Cheating at the Coldplay Concert:
  “If you ask him, would you rather your wife walk in on you having sex with this woman or the Coldplay thing? …I think he would pick his wife walking in for sure.” – Pat [15:19]

• On Work Scandals:
  “Nobody wants to work for a CEO that cheated on them.” – Pat [09:23]
  “How she get the job? ...You doing human resources on his d***.” – Pat [10:43]

• On Suffering in Relationships:
  “You can’t even date someone, like fully marry someone unless they’ve been through that and they bounce back.” – Pat [24:09]

• Prison Culture Analysis:
  “In there we just bumping coochies. You might get into a little fight here and there, but be on some cool shit in jail.” – Caller [45:04]

• On ‘Bum’ Boyfriends:
  “He never had a job. They got married…he overslept and just never went in…that n****a still ain’t have a job.” – Caller [50:33]

• On WNBA Players Having Fun:
  “It look like a girls night out…and they partying.” – Pat [34:22]

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Other Funny/Insightful Moments

• Crowd Cheating Conspiracy
  “This is a good publicity stunt by America. I wonder what the government just did. This is good. It distracted the whole country.” – Pat [09:12]

• Kids in Scandals:
  “We can still clown… like their sports teams messing with it, you know, it’s like your parents are memes for your dad for doing the most embarrassing thing possible.” – Mike [16:56]

• Milwaukee Air Show:
  “One of them flyer jets just flew over here. Boy almost shit my motherfucking pants.” – Pat [19:09]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [00:33] Pat on Superman vs. Batman’s brand of justice
• [04:31] Coldplay CEO cheating scandal discussion begins
• [10:43] Workplace HR/CEO relationship consequences
• [18:58] Military fighter jet/air show tangent
• [24:10] Resilience & suffering as relationship prerequisites
• [27:20] Music “legend” debate (Nicki Minaj, SZA, etc.)
• [32:39] WNBA All-Star weekend, athlete personalities
• [36:35] Tweet of the Week (Family Guy)
• [41:26] “Ugly Baby” caller
• [48:59] “Generational curse”/dating bums caller
• [56:18] Exes, loyalty, homeboy drama
• [69:06] Story: Walking in on guy/girl “scissoring”
• [80:16] Additional Coldplay cheating aftermath

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Tone and Style

• Humorous, irreverent, quick-witted, and honest—often veering into NSFW territory (especially in the call-ins).
• Joint analysis alternates between playful teasing, deep-cut social commentary, and hilarious deadpan.

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FINAL THOUGHTS

This episode captures what Crash Dummies does best: off-the-cuff hilarity, sharp social commentary, and calls that you absolutely won’t hear anywhere else. Whether the topic is corporate scandal or why some folks “bump coochies” in prison, Pat and Mike keep the energy up and the jokes rolling.
If you want to hear wild stories, unfiltered opinions, and unexpected wisdom—this is an essential listen.

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Transcript

[Pat]

If I go diagonal. If I go diagonal across my bed while sleeping on my side, bro, I'm out like a light, bro.

[Mike]

What were you doing before coffin style?

[Pat]

I just be paranoid, bro. But no. So you still haven't watched Superman. But. So I'm not gonna ruin it. But I do want to talk. After watching the Superman movie, it reminded me of the concept of Superman.

[Jean]

Okay. Right.

[Pat]

Superman is a.

[Mike]

Why is he a.

[Pat]

Because Superman literally waits. He tries to save the people that are doing bad to the city. Like if there's a big ass monster over the city, he destroying cars and Superman knock him out to stop him from destroying cars. Okay, good job, Superman.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

But as the big dude about to fall, he go save the big dude from falling because he don't. He don't want the person to die for. Since he want to put every monster, every criminal in jail.

[Mike]

Oh, you're not trying to. He's not trying to go for blood.

[Pat]

He wants justice. Yeah, he wants justice. Like Lex Luthor been killing, bro. And this dude just keep locking them up, bro.

[Mike]

You know, like if he's not getting reformed in there.

[Jean]

What the.

[Pat]

Like, if Superman like, bro, if my family member died and Superman came and swooped up the. That just killed my family member to say I'm about to take him to jail, I'd be like, what the. Slam that through the ground. That's why I like Batman, bro. Hey, Batman, somebody just stole my car. And Batman go beat the up there repeatedly, over and over, bro.

[Mike]

Batman just seemed like he actually enjoyed like beating people up though.

[Pat]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Mike]

And I feel like he. I think Batman didn't discriminate for. For crimes. I think Superman always deals with like the higher tier type of crime. Like Superman's not doing your day to day, man.

[Pat]

Do discriminate though.

[Mike]

You think so?

[Pat]

He always hanging out in the hood. Like he always getting like drug dealers. And what about corporate America, Batman?

[Mike]

I said, I guess discriminate in terms of like, there's nothing too low for him to go after. I don't think Superman is going after somebody that stole. They put like a steak for a tomato or tomato for a steak at the Walmart. You know, like a Walmart tv.

[Pat]

Superman do got some high ass. And yeah, he's stopping war, but that's because he can get around the world. Yeah, Batman literally, like if somebody was hitting me up like, oh, Batman cold. I just like, yeah. Yo city, not Milwaukee. That man working loss prevention at Walmart. Yeah, like you beating a shot because he tried to put a humidifier in the fan box. You don't need no ass anyway.

[Mike]

Welcome to Crash Dummies, episode 216. I'm Mike. We got Pat here, we got Jean here. I think he's going to show up at some point. You'll hear it.

[Pat]

Yeah, I'm just at the door.

[Mike]

Make sure you guys subscribe to the Patreon. We just dropped an episode there. Oh, I need to remember what's. What's this month? July.

[Jean]

July.

[Pat]

Yeah, July.

[Mike]

From now to the end of July, we are doing 50% off Patreon for your first month. That's 50% off for your first month. So I don't want anybody complaining about the prices and stuff like that. And Merch is coming at the end of the month.

[Pat]

Nice. It's a good announcement. It felt like those. And you that dude that got picked for the announcements during school.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And they call you out of class right before announcement. So everybody know you about to do it. Michael, you want to come to the office?

[Jean]

Do your thing.

[Pat]

Everybody like, where the Mike going? I don't know. Where am I going? His parents must have picked him up. And then you just chilling. And for today, we'll have Michael Esiobu from fourth grade. What the.

[Mike]

You know, I milked it too. Good morning to all my peers.

[Pat]

No, I got that chance one time. They never gave it to me again. I was like, I. Because everybody had a chance through the year.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

So I'm like, I gotta make my last. Because everybody had something good. Like, oh, he didn't stutter. He didn't do this. But by the time it was my birthday, that's usually when they do it. Everything already been done. So I'm gonna make a splash, bro. So I thought, damn, this would be perfect to shout out Jesus.

[Mike]

What's wrong with that?

[Pat]

And I said, I love you, Jesus, and got suspended for.

[Mike]

They really did.

[Jean]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And it was a Catholic school.

[Mike]

Start. With the biggest news I feel like of this week was the Coldplay.

[Pat]

Oh, yeah.

[Mike]

Concert.

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jean]

The.

[Mike]

The CEO of the Astronomer. Whatever. The company.

[Pat]

Yeah. It don't matter

[Mike]

you far more.

[Jean]

Yeah, yeah.

[Pat]

The jobless cheater.

[Mike]

Former CEO.

[Pat]

No, let's. Let's go into what he should not have done first.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah.

[Pat]

Let's talk about that. I think let's not cheat first of all.

[Mike]

Yeah. Don't cheat.

[Pat]

But let's say we already in this position.

[Mike]

Go ahead. I think. But I think being comfortable, that comfortable when you know you're not doing the right thing is always a man's downfall. It's One of those things where I don't think they really think about the consequences or just too comfortable. I think because they are in a, they're at a concert and there's a whole bunch of people, they feel like they're, there's, they don't know any of those people and they're like.

[Pat]

I know just. I'm not saying it because they're white, but this is because they're white. I know they looked each other in the eyes because they probably used to being at public places and not being able to touch each other.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

So they probably got drunk and Coldplay was going on. They probably looked each other in the eyes like why not us?

[Mike]

Yeah, girl.

[Pat]

And it's like. And then where they messed up at I think because obviously they're too deep in.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Look like they in love.

[Mike]

Yeah, they're deep in. And he was holding her tight. I think it's actually in love. That's how you know like when you cheat and you have some dudes that cheat and they're just like they're doing it just for the sex and stuff like that. Just easy, you know, that's that type of stuff. This dude was in love. Hugged up from behind like she about to. Like she hugged up from behind like she about to use her. Pull her credit card out for a bill. What was it?

[Pat]

No, but I'm just saying like the reaction after is what got them in trouble.

[Mike]

Yes.

[Pat]

Because a lot of people go on the jumbotron. I've literally seen people on the jumbotron that look like they're not supposed to be together and maybe I can see it but they hold it together.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

I don't know if they supposed to be together. So the reaction is what made it to the thing that they ducked and

[Mike]

Yeah, I, I, it's hard to put myself in that position. Like how would you react like your split second reaction if you see yourself like oh it might be like it's almost like a. What's it called? The Fever Dream. Yeah, it's like one of those things. It's like I can't believe what's going on. Let me just. But he did the worst move the ducking down thing that I can understand. Cuz you can understand the hiding the face and the other stuff. Cuz that's. Even couples do that.

[Pat]

I don't want to be seen.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah. But do mean my wife might be watching this.

[Pat]

But the thing is like you mentioned before when we was talking on the phone is that it's a publicly Traded company.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

So in his world, he's probably a very popular figure. Like, obviously I had no idea who he is. But if you're in that world, you probably know who that is already. So that means you probably know that's not his wife.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

So that's why he probably dug.

[Mike]

Yeah. And I think too, though, even if, like you said, like, if they kept composure, I think the wife might have still found out. But it wouldn't be national news because you know how many. You know how many other people. CEOs are probably cheating on their wife and they probably. Look, this. This shit probably woke some people up there. Like the cheaters right now.

[Pat]

You know what, baby? Me. Just us, no kids. Yeah, no, but not.

[Mike]

It's true, though.

[Pat]

There's another way he could have got out of that. I'm surprised he didn't do it. He literally just should have put her in a chokehold. Oh, my old girl playing. What up, y'?

[Mike]

All?

[Pat]

She went right to the K. Yeah, yeah. Cold play.

[Mike]

I thought you going to say should just pushed her. I would just start giving like a high mic.

[Pat]

That on camera is crazy.

[Mike]

I.

[Pat]

You know how y' all caught that? No, there's so much things.

[Mike]

You know, the other funny thing I thought of is just like how many other people were at that concert cheating on their. On their girlfriends or something like that. They probably looked at that. Or how many people were going to go to the next concert that were cheating already, you know, going to with somebody you're cheating with that canceled their plans or how many people in general cancel the plan? How many people in general that were cheating currently did this kind of effect, like to make them, like, not want to cheat anymore?

[Pat]

This is a good publicity stunt by America. I wonder what the government just did. This is good. It distracted the whole country. There was like memes and stuff like that.

[Mike]

Baseball teams doing it.

[Pat]

Yeah, baseball teams, People doing it on the jumbo trial, holding each other. The other thing I got to say about that is like, bruh, somebody got mad that the people were getting fired. Like, your relationship life shouldn't affect your job life. Nobody wants to work for a CEO that cheated on them.

[Jean]

No.

[Mike]

Especially with the HR lady. Like, who can I go to?

[Pat]

I can't go to the CEO. Or like, if the HR lady don't with me, then the CEO not going. Yeah, don't nobody fuck with me. You know what I'm saying?

[Mike]

I feel like those type of relationship when. Especially when they're not. That's why even no matter what, if you are in a consensual relationship. Most companies have you report your relationship. So they know that these your co workers and you guys are in relationship because if anything happens they don't want

[Pat]

to be liable, especially for him. Because there should be papers that he would have to sign. Because most. Because you're not supposed to do that. I know. Like if you were in. I was in a situation in college where I was talking even like talking to someone that worked at the college that they had to sign a paper to like talk, like to talk to me because they were technically above me in a pecking order. And you can be bullied into a relationship. You know what I'm saying? So it's just like that situation, the HR lady and the CEO.

[Mike]

Yeah. That's like.

[Pat]

That's not a good look because like how she get the job?

[Mike]

There's so much things to look at

[Pat]

is you doing human resources on his dick.

[Mike]

Yeah, bro. The other thing I was thinking about is going into work on Monday. Must like I would be so excited to go to work. Like I, I would be the first is my shift is normally like a seven at seven o'.

[Pat]

Clock.

[Mike]

I'm there at six.

[Pat]

That's me. That's me. If me. You worked at the company. My, my, my mic. You think we still got that meeting?

[Mike]

Cancel that.

[Pat]

I told you I never tried.

[Mike]

I'd have been like, I told you.

[Pat]

You didn't see the way he's looking at her, bro. Come on now. Come on now. They always pick her.

[Mike]

How she employed among the womb of human resources.

[Pat]

Ain't nobody did wrong. We didn't have no incident. Good company, bro. How she keep getting employed?

[Mike]

Not so many work. The work tea got to be crazy cuz you know everybody walking in cuz nobody wants to discuss it in public. So everybody just kind of giving each other the eye to a lunch break until you can leave the campus.

[Pat]

Stupid. You keep doing it this.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah.

[Pat]

Hey bro. Hey y'.

[Mike]

All.

[Pat]

I'm about to leave. Hold me down.

[Jean]

Hey, hey.

[Mike]

I'm about to go to this concert, bro. With my wife.

[Pat]

Hey, you see that game last night? Yeah. That was a cold play. Was. You get it?

[Mike]

Nah.

[Pat]

Cheating. Y' all get that joke,

[Mike]

do you think? Because he, he resigned, obviously.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

And then so the rumors before were saying like she was in a relationship too. But she, they. They said that she got divorced.

[Pat]

Divorced already? I mean she do got a man.

[Mike]

Does she?

[Pat]

That's her man. You know what I mean?

[Mike]

So a couple questions now. Does. Do you think she should resign as well.

[Pat]

I think she has to as a hr.

[Mike]

Yeah. I think it just creates a uncomfortable working environment.

[Pat]

Imagine. Imagine if a cop is pulling you over and taking you out the car for a dui.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And then you look at him and he been drinking too.

[Mike]

You can't do it, though.

[Pat]

You can't do it. I'm calling somebody to pick us both up.

[Mike]

The other question now is, do you think they should continue their relationship?

[Pat]

I think you got to go with it at that point.

[Mike]

Right.

[Pat]

You did all that?

[Jean]

Yeah.

[Pat]

That's the only way to make life make sense. Because they both look like they late in their careers. I don't know how.

[Mike]

It'd be kind of hard to get into another relationship.

[Pat]

I don't know how old they are because I feel like that that moment put ten years of worry on their face.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Because, like, there's pictures of her where when I first saw the original, I thought she looked younger. And I don't know if it's like stuff being modified to make her look older, but, like, you could just see the. The look on their faces, bro. They know that there's so many in that company. I'm guessing that's a big company. We should look up how many employees in that company because that's.

[Mike]

I mean, if they're public, publicly traded, I would think it's like a decent amount.

[Pat]

There's a. Obviously people been like sharing their names in their. In their stuff, in their Facebooks, all over the Internet. But I'm wondering how many people are in that company that actually. No, no, because that's the difference. Because social media will subscribe.

[Mike]

It's at a headcount of 369 employees.

[Pat]

369 people. Know both of y'.

[Mike]

All. Yeah.

[Pat]

Know everything.

[Jean]

And.

[Pat]

But that's. That's what make it worse. So it's 369. They got the real story. And then it's damn near the rest of the world that got like the outsider story. You know, those 369 people sitting outside of campfires.

[Mike]

Also, they might not have been a public company. It says the astronomer firm raised $100 million before CEO Andy Bryan's coplist, Cold Kiss, Coldplay, Kiss Cam fiasco. And it's now they're saying investors confidence are kind of like weary now.

[Pat]

Yeah. With the company.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

You never know how, like this stuff is going to be perceived.

[Mike]

And it's just. I just feel like it's so dumb. I feel like when you're like have that much to lose to Go out that. Like, that I understand. Like, if you're like, I don't understand.

[Pat]

You don't look at it as that. That just.

[Mike]

That's like saying like, too comfortable, though.

[Pat]

But that's like saying A. FedEx got a lot to lose. Like, yeah, a lot to lose is his job. But they don't lose. Look at it like that. There's no way he looks at it.

[Mike]

I guess it's like getting caught on the jumbotron is probably like the chances. First of all. Let's just think about the chances of that happening. I'd have been so pissed.

[Pat]

You know, talking.

[Caller]

Right.

[Pat]

Right before that they were like, look at these people on the jumbo.

[Caller]

If.

[Pat]

If you ask him, if you ask him, would you rather your wife walk in on you having sex with this woman or the Coldplay thing? I think he would pick his wife

[Mike]

walking in for sure. I think anybody would.

[Pat]

Yeah. Just like, that's how this is. I don't know if it gets any worse.

[Mike]

Nah, this is the biggest it can get.

[Pat]

Only thing else is like, somebody just had info like. Yeah, his dick little too.

[Mike]

No, you know that. You know, that car ride home was. Was crazy, you know? You know, he was driving like this. And there's a point he. There's a point. He's at a red light and he's just sitting there. He's just like, just shaking the steering wheel,

[Caller]

bro.

[Mike]

You know how pissed I would be?

[Pat]

Any incompetence in traffic. I'm punching on the. Put your blinker on, you ass. You don't even want to go home. You trying to do some.

[Mike]

Bro, I'm spazzing, bro.

[Pat]

No, I'm. I got to go to jail. I got to. Literally, I'm. I'm a speed until I get pulled over. God damn cop just going to ask me, bro. Let me see license and registration. You what? You want to go to jail? You take me to jail. No, man, I'm going to let you off of the warden. No, that, please. I don't want to go home.

[Mike]

It is up for the kids, though. It's always up for the kids. Because we're in such like a Internet age

[Pat]

now.

[Mike]

We can still clown the. I'm just saying. Of age kids and then like their sports teams messing with it, you know, it's like your parents are memes for your dad for doing the most embarrassing thing possible.

[Pat]

They all look young, though.

[Mike]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It's just like the Internet culture. It should be gone if that shit happened. To me in my 20s, honestly, I'd be like, it is what it. That's my dad, like, up, like, as a kid.

[Pat]

You never know, though. Yeah, Some people have, like. You never know. My parents weren't together, so I never know what allegiance I would have in that situation. Because we. I mean, we asked a question.

[Mike]

Like, I would say more of allegiance. I just saying, like, more of, like, the outside pressure affecting me. I feel like the older I am, it wouldn't really affect me as much.

[Pat]

I'm saying that you might. Like, some people are. I've seen, like, something on the Internet where dude was like, he's a fucking CEO of a company, deserves two women, was dead ass serious. Right? So imagine reading that shit like, you already mad at your dad.

[Jean]

Yeah.

[Pat]

You read some shit that's basically dissing your mom, saying, like, oh, that. You know what I mean? So you might take that the wrong way. I don't know how I feel to have two parents together. They have some shit like that happen. So, yeah, bless their heart, but they should be gone. It's not as big of a meme. It's not like a crazy sex tape or no shit.

[Mike]

Yeah, it's. It's one that can kind of get played out pretty quick.

[Pat]

I think it'll be gone by like.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah.

[Pat]

Make a mistake that Coldplay, you're gonna lose fans.

[Mike]

Nah, hell no.

[Pat]

I bet you. Yeah, they definitely gonna lose fans. I see what you mean, though. Them tickets just got a little bit cheaper camera all in the month.

[Mike]

Nah, we would try to justify that. It's funny, bro.

[Pat]

Oh, okay. By the way, I don't know if y' all will hear their noise. It sound like it's over, but you never know. There's an air show going on here in Milwaukee where they fly a bunch of fighter jets all over the city. And they loud as hell also to my. To my army people. Army, Navy, Marines, whatever you are.

[Mike]

Air Force.

[Pat]

Air Force. No, no, not the Air Force. Okay? This message is not for them.

[Mike]

Okay?

[Pat]

This message to everybody else.

[Mike]

Every other branch of the military.

[Pat]

Every other branch. How the do you see a fighter jet and then say, yeah, I'm gonna fight on foot.

[Jean]

That.

[Pat]

But one of them flyer jets just flew over here. Boy almost shit my motherfucking pants. You know how pissed I be, bro? If they send me into somewhere and we doing our damn thing? Like, yeah, we killing it. It's just like, yo, watch out for the plays. Why am I on the ground? There's no way you can convince me to fight for My country and then send me somewhere. I get why you will fight for the U.S. yes. The U.S. makes the most sense for me.

[Mike]

And for, like, every other country for them would make sense for them.

[Pat]

But I'm just saying it makes sense for me because.

[Mike]

And both of y' all have no war. War hats on.

[Pat]

No war.

[Mike]

For real.

[Pat]

But it makes no sense to me, like, okay, if we in the US If I join the army, the Navy, the Marines, whatever, I have a chance. Because I feel like through history, the United States has won, especially of recent. Like, obviously there's been casualties, but, like, for another country, it's like, okay, we fighting them. I think we got a good chance. And then just, like, one day we wake up like, yo, yeah, we beefing with the usa.

[Jean]

My.

[Pat]

What?

[Mike]

Oh, I feel like other countries, though, are. Are really prideful countries, too. Just like, how America is.

[Pat]

Yeah. Cuz they were born there.

[Mike]

Yeah. So it's just like. It is like. It's almost like. Like, oh, these people want to be the bully. It.

[Jean]

Come on.

[Mike]

Yeah, that's true.

[Pat]

Now, I arrive from a smaller country, but I arrive for my. I be in the bar, like, man, everybody, bro. We need all y'. All.

[Mike]

Oh, my God.

[Pat]

We need every single. So they get taking a shot like, dog, bro.

[Jean]

I can't.

[Mike]

I saw a video of a dude. You know those, like, restaurants where you can cook your own food and, like, that?

[Jean]

Like, a K pop?

[Mike]

Is that what it's called? I saw one with, like, breakfast food, and I'd be like, I'd be breakfast food.

[Pat]

You could do that.

[Mike]

Come on now. This was making pancakes, and on his girl on the grill with sausages and, like, come on now. Breakfast is not the food for that, bro.

[Pat]

The one thing. Okay, I understand that, because the. The K Pop thing, right? K Pop. K Pop. I said K Pop. But the K pop thing, at least, like, the meat is on the grill, right? So you can be like, okay, okay. What? Do whichever y' all want with these next sentences.

[Mike]

Fuck y'.

[Caller]

All.

[Pat]

You can have a meat however you want. You know what I mean? Like, medium, you know? I'm saying, like. And basically, you just take it off what you want. But, like, with, like, pancakes, like, if I up my pancakes, I got to eat this, too. Like, why the Did I show up here? Like, yeah, bro, I up my egg.

[Mike]

Y' all give me some more.

[Pat]

Like, I was on my phone, bro. I'm not used to this.

[Mike]

N. I would. It's just like. It's one of those things, though. You definitely can mess Up a lot easier. I feel like with breakfast.

[Pat]

Easy. I mean, everything takes time with breakfast. Like you got to think like bacon can be undercooked or overcooked eggs.

[Mike]

Cuz you, if you cook, I feel like those ones with those. Was it K pot? Is it K P O T?

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Okay. K pot. I usually see them doing like, like more of the. The beefs. Like the little beast on the little steak.

[Pat]

The skewer.

[Mike]

Yeah, like the skewer type of thing. Just a little. The little, the tiny meats.

[Pat]

Join the club.

[Mike]

I'm just saying it's. It's more of those type of foods where it's like you can undercook it depending how you want it. You can undercook it depending how you want it. I don't know why.

[Pat]

It's funnier what you say. Yeah, I don't need to be doing that for breakfast though.

[Mike]

No, breakfast is crazy in the morning.

[Pat]

Okay. I. I found the biggest

[Mike]

crazy segue. After talking about meats, I found the biggest meat.

[Pat]

I'll let y' all know. That'd be the last episode we ever shoot. I finally did it, boys.

[Mike]

No more shooting. Go ahead.

[Pat]

The treasure. But no, I. I used to think like, you know, you try to say, oh, this is the thing that matters the most in a relationship, or these are the things that matter the most. Relationship. And they just be like, oh, that person gotta have a good heart. Or you know, that person got to be athletic. You know what I'm saying? You try to find those things really what makes you go, so it can help you find a partner. But somebody had like a tick tock and you know, you just listen to a tick tock and just open your mind up and it's just like a person that can suffer the best is that's my type of person. Like, because you're gonna suffer in this lifetime. Like you don't have like deaths like your grandparents are gonna get older, your parents are gonna get older. It's about like what happens when that happens. And to me, you can't even date someone, like fully marry someone unless they've been through that and they bounce back. Because you got people, no offense to them, good on you. You got people like all their major people are still alive. They went through nothing, so they haven't had to suffer through any death or tragedy.

[Jean]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And you don't know how they're gonna act because there's certain people in life.

[Mike]

So you want somebody. That sounds crazy. I get it. I get it in theory, but it just sounds like I need someone that has bad shit happen to you already. Like nothing happened to you yet. I can't be with you. Your dad's still alive. He's talking about resilience.

[Pat]

That's what he said. Yes, but.

[Caller]

Or.

[Pat]

Or just a. Or just a good mindset about it. Like, some people be, like, oversensitive.

[Jean]

Like, they.

[Pat]

Around drop an egg and crack it and then start crying. Yeah, like, stuff like that. Like, okay, your granddad's 96, and every time you talk about him, you just

[Mike]

start tearing up like, I don't know

[Pat]

what I'm going do it off of. Like, bro.

[Mike]

Nah, n. Can't miss their grandparents.

[Pat]

You got to get strong. We got a life to live.

[Mike]

Come on.

[Pat]

97. A little bit. Expecting it a little bit. I can't believe I grabbed that. Sick. How old is he? 106.

[Jean]

What the.

[Pat]

That is crazy. You start sympathizing. I don't know how every 106 year old I know don't have no cough like that grow.

[Mike]

When I was growing up, I used to be very jealous of people that had nicknames. And I was just thinking about this. I never had a nickname. What?

[Pat]

Nigerian nightmare.

[Mike]

That wasn't.

[Pat]

I won't. Only the white dudes from our football team.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

You don't consider Mike a nickname?

[Mike]

No, I don't.

[Pat]

E is a nickname.

[Mike]

That's not a nickname. That's just you trying to shorten my name. I'm talking about, like, nicknames. Like, nigga name. Like Slim. Right.

[Pat]

Stacks, Big Dre, Big Dre, Big Dre,

[Mike]

some shit like that. Like, I never had that type of, like, name like you said you had. Your name is Munchie, right?

[Jean]

Yeah.

[Mike]

You were a munchie. You said this on the.

[Jean]

That's my family.

[Pat]

That's my family nickname.

[Mike]

Yeah. Boogie Boog, names like that. I never. Did you have a nickname like that growing up?

[Pat]

I don't want to say it.

[Mike]

I feel it. I feel it.

[Pat]

Mine was.

[Mike]

Oh, man.

[Pat]

Well, I'm gonna get cooked. Mine as was Sting.

[Mike]

Nah, Sting is crazy.

[Pat]

It was funny because my dad hit me up. He was like, man. Because it was.

[Caller]

No.

[Mike]

Your dad gave you that too?

[Jean]

No.

[Pat]

So I used to get babysat by like, a. Like a group of women that were a family. And that family is just like, now seeing me as a grown man.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Because we lost contact and they just like. I think they was hitting my dad up like. Like, oh, that's little Sting. That's a little stink. I'm like, who the. These calling me Sting? But people My family call me Lil P. Huh. Obviously, my dad is. I'm a junior.

[Mike]

Yeah, that's kind of. That's kind of.

[Pat]

But that's still shortened up.

[Mike]

Try to call me like, it was one point. Tried to call me Mike. Mike. And I'm like, don't. Don't say my name twice.

[Caller]

Mike.

[Pat]

Mike is fighting.

[Mike]

Mike. Yeah, Mike. Mike is crazy.

[Pat]

You better have a speech impediment.

[Jean]

I know that.

[Mike]

No, real.

[Pat]

All right. Okay. So I just want to put this out here. I'm not. So when we talk about quote, unquote, beasts on this podcast, I would never pick someone over someone else's. I don't know none of these people, by the way. But I do want to say to the generation lower than me, y' all gotta stop the. The Nicki Minaj disrespect. Whatever. Just people to people aside. I just don't like when, like, people scoff at. What do you mean? Nicki Minaj is just as big as scissors. Like, bro, y' all gotta chill, bro. Yeah, y' all gotta chill with that. I just. I'm just putting that out there for from now on for debates for 2025. I will not debate with you if you disrespect the other legend. Like, you can. Two legends can coexist.

[Mike]

Yeah. And there's their beefiness. Like, the beef aside, like, whatever they're beefing about, they beefing about, like.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

But when I think this is a legend, though.

[Pat]

I wouldn't say that.

[Jean]

No.

[Pat]

I think she's already a legend. I don't think so.

[Mike]

It depends. It's always hard to kind of say legend.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

When they're, like, actively in, like, I would say Nikki is a little bit more retired than Sza is. I'm not saying, like, Nikki's not putting an album out every year. Like, not that. It's just not, like, when she was on her run.

[Pat]

I get what you're saying, like, Nicki is Mount Rushmore for or something. I don't know if Sza. If you put up all the singers, like, Whitney, Beyonce.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

All the. The women's singers, I don't think she'd be on there with Brandy and stuff like that.

[Mike]

So I think I would say Nikki is, like, Mount Rushmer for, like, artists in general. I think she's the number one in artist in general.

[Pat]

The number one woman rapper of all time. Easily. Yeah. And I think she.

[Mike]

At least some people say Lauren Hill. Some people say not easily, but some

[Pat]

people say Lauren Hill, top four of music musicians of all Time musicians.

[Mike]

No, I mean I'm just not in. I wouldn't say. I'm just saying like in women's music, like women making that make music in general, whatever category is. I think Nicki Minaj is top five.

[Pat]

It's debatable.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Yes.

[Mike]

It's definitely debate. I'm just saying in her like if someone makes. When you, when you do like the mouth for sure. Yeah. If you do like Mount Rushmore and stuff like when you put the head. I always feel like you need somebody from like every category. I can't obviously I can't really say the legends from the country songs and like I can say Dolly Parton, but I'm not like I'm not in that industry or I'm not. I don't listen to that type of music like that. So I can't really get my opinion on that. But I know when somebody's like the biggest of like each kind of genre where it's like, okay, you belong in this Mount Rushmore.

[Pat]

I just start like if you imagine I feel like some people put people too high on a list and there's one thing that I feel like can always fix somebody's list. Just start with Michael Jackson and then you'll feel dumb as putting scissor at night. And there's no offense to scissors.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And the reason I think they legends is because there's so many people actively doing what they're doing and I, and I get like, okay, like NFL, right?

[Jean]

Yeah.

[Pat]

If somebody starts in the NFL for like a Ryan Clark. Right. Ryan Clark's not a legend, but he's a very well known player. Yeah, right. Like he was hard hitting safety. He probably a legend to Steelers.

[Mike]

Yeah. Steelers legend.

[Pat]

Steelers legend. Right.

[Mike]

So.

[Pat]

But there was a lot of people not to say that did what he did, but there's a lot of safeties that are comparable. When you talk about like this singing, bro, there's been so many people that haven't had platinum albums. Like she got like three. She like nine times platinum or diamond or some like I don't even know how to count no more. So to me that makes them a legend because you can go to the next 10 singers that are behind her and they have nowhere near the accolades. I think we're just living in that time.

[Jean]

Some.

[Mike]

Sometimes the legend word too is kind of tough. The, like the, the like the definition. Cuz my definition, like I've heard you call people legends before, right? Yeah. And then somebody be like, oh, you called them a legend and it's like, there are a lot of people that are cultural legends. You know what I'm saying? Like, if, if you just want to go based on numbers.

[Pat]

People got mad at you for calling Kyle Lowry a legend.

[Mike]

No, you called him a legend.

[Pat]

Oh, yeah, he is a legend. But. But us. But basically saying Kyle Larry's a good player or he a legend, it's like done to look at it. My bad.

[Mike]

Go ahead. No, no, you're good. But like, there's some like people that culturalize. I don't think Allen Iverson had the. Is he top 10 in anything in points like that?

[Pat]

No, I think it's been bumped down a little.

[Mike]

Bump down, but still like some people or even like Derrick Rose.

[Pat]

Right?

[Mike]

Derrick Rose hasn't ever won an NBA championship, has he?

[Pat]

But he might be end up being a Hall of Famer.

[Mike]

Yeah, that's also true. But I'm just saying, like, I feel like those people that maybe not as popular, they had really like five really good seasons. Right. Like, Marshawn lynch too. He might be in hall of Fame too. But I'm just saying those type of people that. That did stuff more off the court to make them legendary as well.

[Pat]

Exactly.

[Mike]

Like, I, I'm a big fan of Marshawn Lynch. I'm a big fan of Allen Iverson. I'm a big fan of like Dipset, the rap group. And then I would call them legends to me, like people clown Jim Jones and stuff like that. I know he kind of. He kind of OC for beefing with Nas and like that, but I still think he's a legend because of like what he had culturally impacted.

[Pat]

And sometimes like to me, legend kind of goes along with longevity. Yeah, it's just like, oh, this person like the dude that may open Gynam style, you know what I'm saying? Just like that little three, four year stance was the. Was bigger than what a lot of artists can even put. So he a legend.

[Mike]

Yeah. But you don't know his name, huh? Nah, nah. You are tweaking.

[Pat]

Okay. WNBA allstar weekend.

[Mike]

That look lit. I'm not gonna lie, bro.

[Pat]

Actually, I think they're more. They're obviously more vulnerable than the men. Yeah, obviously. I also think that that comes from also how men have fun.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah.

[Pat]

You're not gonna. You don't want to see an NBA player and he doing twitch and he at the strip Club for 11 hours. This ain't gonna leave. How many ones is I got?

[Mike]

I think the, the dynamics of like WNBA players is so much different. And it's interesting to watch because like a lot some of them can be attracted to their. Their teammates too, like openly. And it'd be like more normal. It like guys. Hopefully there's guys that are.

[Pat]

You're good, bro. You good?

[Mike]

No, no, I just, I try to say in a sense of like, it's more normal for a lesbian right. Right now than a guy, openly gay man in the NBA, Right?

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah. You good, you good.

[Mike]

But I just think it's like interesting seeing like a girl in the NBA twerk on another girl in the NBA. It's just like they have fun differently. Like that would never happen in the NBA. Just like, it's more. I. It just looks. I say it looks fun. Like I don't want to do that.

[Pat]

But what you said, you said it's like we. We get to see more of their personality.

[Mike]

Personality.

[Pat]

Because there was stuff happening on that twitch. Like, I don't think every. I feel like every LeBron video I've seen in the last 15 years, he knows the camera is on.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

He knows exactly what song is on and he's approving that video. You know what I'm saying? So, like, to see the people that are at the top of this league basically be. It look like a girls night out.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And they partying.

[Mike]

You don't see NBA players do that drunk.

[Pat]

They not. They're not taking cutscenes and like they actually in there and you seeing a interaction. But I also think like, as, as, as men, we don't interact with people that we don't like. Yeah, I don't. I don't want to make this a man versus podcast, but it's just more in our nature, like, oh, I don't like that, dude. So we just don't talk. Sometimes women, depending on their friend group and who they hang with, they end up running to people they don't like. And then you saw more of that, like this all star. You seen like, you know, people sneak dissing each other.

[Mike]

Oh, they were. I didn't really know.

[Pat]

I'm not gonna say no names. I don't want to start no drama ladies. But you just see like people giving each other cold looks and stuff like that, or giving this person this type of reception and then not giving the other person this type of reception. So you like seeing all these personalities shout out to the stud buds. Yeah, that's the name, right?

[Mike]

I think so.

[Pat]

Hope I got that right. That was dope what they did. They recorded the whole thing. One girl even recorded herself almost waking up late for A meeting. Like, I. I thought that was dope.

[Mike]

No, I. It's interesting. Again, like, I don't see. I feel like. Honestly, I feel like the NBA guys were doing that. It would have been more. They would get a little more chastised. Like, why is James Harden out right now? Yeah, during the All Star thing, it was what it is a break. It's called All Star break. Like, should be able to drink and do all this stuff.

[Pat]

But if you know the personality of Hoopers, they're all, like, you ever met a Hooper Hooper? Like, a Hooper will literally be on the court, like, somebody that can hoop, right? They'll literally be on the court with Drake and Kendrick Lamar and still think they. That, yeah, they're the best Hooper on the court. That just Hooper or.

[Jean]

Yeah.

[Pat]

So, like, if you record Hoopers with millions of dollars, they literally just gonna aura farm the whole day. Literally just gonna be walking around looking cool, like, yo, what up?

[Mike]

Yeah, what's up, bro?

[Pat]

Because they doing it off the perception of, like, the fans and women and stuff like that. Those women, they was actually having fun. Yeah, they already been hated on it anyways. And they like, bro, they gonna say. What the. They gonna say. All right, all right. Let's do tweet of the week. Somebody said in the comments, they said. They said, Mark, Mike getting too dark on his tweet of the weeks. Pat, take it back.

[Mike]

What did I say?

[Pat]

I forgot what you said.

[Mike]

That's so up. I don't remember anything. I say.

[Pat]

Mike has. Mike's humor is darker than mine. Like, I. I think I just said, say mine more. Like, I have more quantity. But your quality of dark humor,

[Mike]

you think so too?

[Pat]

I agree with it. You know what you. It comes from. Cuz he's not from America because there's some. There's some that you don't have any emotional attachment to.

[Mike]

So I've been here all my life. This all I understand. I'm from Nigeria, but I've been in America since I was five.

[Pat]

No, Mike be talking about. So you telling me these was marching in suits? Why didn't they just wear regular?

[Mike]

I never said, where were the Nike T?

[Pat]

Y' all so stupid. All right, all right. Somebody said, K would like this one. Family Guy is so insane because why were people dating that dog somebody?

[Mike]

I never really thought about that tweet

[Pat]

and say, if dogs could talk in real life, people would date them. And I think that's true. Like, I think that's true. Cuz there's definitely been a time, like, where I seen like a dog getting a girl bed and he like went to straight to big spoon. Yeah, he.

[Mike]

No, I. That's a. That's a crazy thing, though. Do you think people would. I think people would date animals if animals could talking them. Yeah, bro.

[Pat]

Cuz you know, the sex, no problem.

[Mike]

Some of those animals just like. It's easy. No attachment.

[Pat]

You give a horse a voice, man, be so many ladies at that.

[Mike]

Do you think it be more. Do you think it be more guys having sex with the animals or more women? More women.

[Pat]

I think it just be all over. I don't. I don't think it be more women or more guys. I think it just be both, cuz it's some. Come on now. You see some of these dudes, baby mamas. You see some of these girls, baby daddies. It ain't too far off that. Not too far off at all. That looked like a lever girl. Like a cat in the face. All right. Somebody said this is Mike's sweet elite, by the way.

[Mike]

What? How's his mind?

[Pat]

He sent it to me. No, I'm just playing. Keith sent me this, though. For real.

[Mike]

No, he didn't.

[Pat]

Yes, he did. Key did send me this.

[Mike]

No, he didn't.

[Pat]

He said, I like my girl broke, so I can control her. Do these dishes if you want to eat today.

[Mike]

Why'd you say I said that, too? That's a crazy thing.

[Pat]

Another tweet a week. We talked about it already. Cheating at a Coldplay concert is so Caucasian. I don't like to get into, like, the. That's so Caucasian.

[Mike]

What. Hold on. What is Coldplay? The band. The band. You see that dude, the CEO, was hugged up with that girl There was at a. They were at a Coldplay concert. But what's the lore behind Coldplay? Like, they got a lot. Man Got a lot of hits.

[Pat]

Got a lot of hits.

[Mike]

White dudes, too.

[Pat]

Like a band.

[Mike]

So what's the lore behind it, though? Like I'm saying, like, is it Coldplay supposed to be something romantic in the fact that he cheated?

[Pat]

No. If you was at a Drake concert with a side piece and you was hugging her, it'd just be like he was at a Drake concert.

[Mike]

It's just. It has nothing to do with regular artists.

[Pat]

Yeah. The fact that they was doing it at the biggest events is crazy.

[Jean]

Oh, yeah.

[Pat]

Do that at a St. John concert. All right. I wish you heard.

[Mike]

Yo.

[Pat]

Yo.

[Caller]

What's up?

[Mike]

What it do? What it do?

[Pat]

You good?

[Caller]

Yeah. I'm sorry. What's up with y'?

[Jean]

All?

[Pat]

No, just what the first what's up Was like, who's bothering you?

[Caller]

Oh, no, no. Y' all good?

[Pat]

I felt like I was intruding.

[Mike]

What's up?

[Pat]

I thought your. I thought your man was sitting looking at you or something. I was gonna help you out.

[Caller]

No, I didn't.

[Mike]

Let me tell y', all, like, hey,

[Caller]

girl something, cuz last time I told y' all that my man don't feel good and I'll be teasing on him. And they was roasting me in the comments like I needed him or something. Let's get it straight. I got way more than that. I don't need him. He's just a good look for my image. But anyways.

[Mike]

All right, start the.

[Pat]

Whoa.

[Mike]

Okay, so now.

[Caller]

So now we good? Because somebody figured out it was my voice on the last show and showed it to him. So now we good. We got past that. But now he want to have some kids and his first baby ugly as.

[Mike]

So I'll finish the sentence. Then start your sentences off with this. Start your sentence with, am I the. And then say your answer.

[Caller]

Am I the? For not wanting to have a baby with my current boyfriend because his first baby is ugly?

[Pat]

Like, okay, so when you say. When you say ugly, is there, like, a feature?

[Caller]

Ugly? No, Ugly.

[Mike]

But is it his. Is it his feature that makes him

[Caller]

ugly, or is it his features? Yeah, because the baby mama, she don't look that bad. She looks pretty decent. I feel like if I have a baby with her, we have better chances of getting a cute baby. It's him. The baby got all the ugly features from him. And now I'm looking at him like, damn, are you really just ugly and I don't know. Yeah, is.

[Pat]

Is. Honey, want to ask the gender of the kid? I just want to stay away from the kid. How can we go back to the husband?

[Caller]

I think it's. I don't know. I think it's in his jeans. Because everybody in the family a little ugly, too. They kind of funny looking, too. So I'm just worried.

[Pat]

Let's go back to the image part because you said, like, he's really good for your image. What is he doing for your. Your image?

[Caller]

I date nothing. Ass.

[Jean]

Usually.

[Caller]

He's a good guy. You know, one of those, go to work, don't cheat, come back home, you know, do everything he's supposed to do type of, you know? And that's not usually my type. So I'm stepping outside of my comfort zone.

[Pat]

That's my type. And that's my type.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Yeah. You bro, you breaking the heart of every six year old dude I want to fall in love right now. He's like, this is it.

[Mike]

So what. What attracts you to him again then? If you don't. If it's not.

[Caller]

He's a nice guy. He's different, you know, he. He's very sweet, very considerate. Just not what I'm used to. So it was just something different. I think that's what more so attracted me.

[Pat]

But you said attracted. But the two things you name from your last call, you said that he don't have sex. Good. And then this call, you're saying that he's ugly. Yeah, maybe technically not your type. So what is the attraction? Is it purely money and what he gets you?

[Caller]

I wouldn't even say it's purely money because it's not all about the money for me. But I think it is more so like his. His status. Like he got that good boy status, you know, he ain't never been to jail. He got no feelings. I got three, you know, so it's like, you know, I just. He got good credit. I don't, you know, so

[Mike]

I love the honesty.

[Pat]

Three felonies.

[Mike]

Felonies.

[Pat]

Three felonies.

[Caller]

Yeah, yeah. I'm convicted of. I'm fighting one right now.

[Mike]

Oh, so you had nothing to do with this election, huh?

[Caller]

Yeah, no. Nothing to do at all. That wasn't my doing that crazy.

[Pat]

I know. It sucked cuddling with you with your ankle monitor on that.

[Caller]

First of all, I don't even got an ankle monitor. I'm just out on bond. Thank you.

[Pat]

Thank you. I'll bail you out too. Matter of fact, I know we got. We got your money for the rest of your career.

[Caller]

You know what?

[Jean]

I know that's right.

[Caller]

Y' all some real.

[Pat]

We're not real.

[Caller]

Okay?

[Pat]

Actually, just me. I'm gonna get you out every single time. I'm gonna support for the rest of your career. I want you to get right, though.

[Caller]

And I' ma support y' all too. I'm getting right, you know, I'm going to get my two card. I'm about to, you know, do you know, get on the straight and narrow.

[Pat]

I will say this, you're not gonna help us out if you go to. We need you out to help, you know.

[Caller]

Okay.

[Pat]

Push our show because women's prison kind of strict, though. I'll never see them with no phone.

[Caller]

But I've been to women's prison already. It ain't that bad.

[Mike]

It's not that bad.

[Pat]

You can have a phone in It.

[Caller]

No. Well, I didn't have a phone because I was only there for two years. People who be getting the phone being there for a long ass time.

[Pat]

Yeah, you were there that long?

[Caller]

Yeah. I'm not getting those. I'm not spending 1200 on no Android.

[Pat]

Not the concept of two years in your head. In my head is so different.

[Mike]

Two years?

[Caller]

Yeah. Like, I mean, it's probably harder for cuz y', all, they be in there killing people and taking booty and stuff, but in there we just bumping coochies. You might get into a little fight here and there, but be on some cool in jail. Like, it's not, you know what they make it like on tv.

[Mike]

When you say bumping coochies, is it like hypothetical, like a metaphoring in real life? Okay, I. I didn't know. Just like, it was just like we just bumping coochies. Like we're bumping shoulders.

[Pat]

They meeting up in mess hall, jumping up.

[Caller]

Well, actually, you know, I was. I was medium custody. I wasn't general population. I was medium custody. So we was in two man sales. So if you. You just don't get lucky to get a. That's fine. And you feel like, okay, boom. Let me see that paperwork. She clean. We bumping Gucci now.

[Pat]

Got it.

[Mike]

And you're bumping coochies as well?

[Caller]

Yeah, yeah, I was bumping coochies with my roommate for a minute. We was in the same cell for nine months. You know, I got to know her really well. She's a really nice girl. She was really attractive. She was saying that coochie up.

[Mike]

Did you guys continue any type of relationship once you got out?

[Caller]

We actually did. She went. She made parole before me. I was on a 2, she was on a 12. When I got out, she was actually living and hustling in my hood where I moved to. So I'm like, damn, what's up? And you know, but I had a boyfriend at the time, so we, you know, take it there. And she was like, I know you were just gay for the stage. You really be fucking niggas in the world. So I'm not gonna press you. I'm like, yeah, it's good, but I mean, if you want to lick this again, we could definitely set that up. She real cool though. That's my.

[Pat]

What's your message to her?

[Caller]

My message to Lucky is, girl, just keep going. Don't. Don't let them hoes take you back to cdc. I know you fighting that case right now, but we not going back.

[Pat]

Yes, sir. Hey, tell her I got her bail money, too.

[Caller]

Real.

[Pat]

Come on, man. Y' all hit my line.

[Caller]

Short teens always be real niggas.

[Pat]

I really. I really.

[Caller]

I'm fucked with that.

[Pat]

Oh, I'm not short, though.

[Caller]

What do you consider short?

[Jean]

I'm.

[Pat]

I'm six foot.

[Caller]

Okay, that's. Okay.

[Pat]

So like I said on the podcast,

[Caller]

you look a little. Little, but that's how I get.

[Pat]

Yeah, I get that a lot. I got bad posture, I think.

[Caller]

Yeah, you gotta start straightening arms.

[Pat]

If you see me now, go check out the last couple episodes I've been working on a little bit, period.

[Caller]

I know. That's right.

[Pat]

That's right. All right, go put some new batteries in that ankle monitor for this.

[Jean]

All right.

[Mike]

You have a good one. Bumping coochies,

[Pat]

Is that literal? That's my.

[Mike]

You know. I thought it was more like, you know, say, I'm bumping.

[Pat]

I'm just going there, stay until we gotta line up. Line your up. That's why we ain't left yet, cuz we ain't bumped them yet. Girl, you gotta jump up.

[Jean]

I.

[Mike]

When I. When I heard it, it sounded like it's like how dudes say, bumping shoulders.

[Pat]

Two girls standing 10ft away from each other trying to time a coochie bump is crazy. They both got a karate kick at the same time.

[Caller]

Hi, guys.

[Pat]

Yo, what's the deal? Be our first call one more time. What up? What up? You're our first caller, so.

[Caller]

Oh, first caller today, period.

[Pat]

Hi, y'.

[Jean]

All.

[Mike]

Can you.

[Pat]

Can you turn her down? She loud as hell.

[Caller]

Damn, I'm loud.

[Pat]

It's not you. It's the. It's the. It's the audio. It's our producer. He the one that's up.

[Caller]

Okay, so he's up.

[Jean]

I got you.

[Caller]

I got you. Okay.

[Pat]

We never had nobody this loud.

[Caller]

Damn.

[Pat]

Oh, she. You supposed to mute me. I got a question for you.

[Mike]

What's. What number did you answer one?

[Jean]

Okay.

[Pat]

Okay. Well, she know.

[Mike]

Yeah, that's true.

[Pat]

What's something you saw that you weren't supposed to see?

[Caller]

So essentially, my grandma was googling if she had herpes. And I'm her personal for essentially, right? So any problem with her phone, she come to me. And so I was fixing something, her phone, and I went through Google by accident, and she had hella, like, oh, symptoms of herpes. Signs of herpes. Cures for herpes. Now, mind you, my grandma got a history of dealing with bum ass. So this new dude she been with, he's a bomb. He don't Got no job. He got bedbugs. And I even gave my grandma herpes. And I work in the medical field, so I'm like, grandma, why you ain't, like, seeing nothing? I didn't say not her. And I don't know if she still got it.

[Pat]

But Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

[Jean]

How.

[Pat]

How old is this dude? How old is your grandma?

[Caller]

My grandma is like, she's probably like 65. Top is this dude, and the dude is probably like 54.

[Pat]

54. Oh, yeah,

[Caller]

he's a bum.

[Pat]

Nah, he still got time. He.

[Jean]

I don't know about that. I don't know about that.

[Pat]

I'm trolling. I'm trolling.

[Mike]

So your. Is your grandma, like, still, like, dating then?

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Caller]

This ass, man. And it's like, she has a history of being with these ass niggas. My grandpa was a bum. On him with the bum. Yes, she loves bums. So it's just like, get it together. At some point, this done gave you herpes and bad bugs.

[Mike]

Why is your grandma. Why is your grandma or your grandpa a bum?

[Caller]

He never had a job. Never had a job. They got married, got together, he had a state job, and then he overslept and just never went in. He got fired, and since then he never had a job.

[Mike]

So I'm guessing, how old was he?

[Caller]

Yes, he's probably like 62 now.

[Pat]

Wait, so like, when he got fired from that job, were you born yet or do you just like. Are you hearing this story or is it happening?

[Caller]

This was before my time. I'm 22, so this was before my time, and I still ain't have a job.

[Pat]

He been a bum ass your whole whole life?

[Jean]

My whole life.

[Caller]

My whole life.

[Pat]

You know, you don't know none of his good. You just seen him. No, that's crazy.

[Mike]

Did, like, did any, like, bum genetics get passed down like you? You seem like you do, unfortunately.

[Caller]

Unfortunately. To be honest, like the women in my family, that's her generational curse. We deal with bum ass. So grandma got bum ass. My mom got bum ass. I'm dealing with bum ass. I'm trying to break the curse.

[Pat]

No, that's crazy. So you saying your gr. Your grandpa. But is it wise your grandpa put a cur?

[Caller]

I think so. I think so, to be honest. And it's getting worse as the generations go on. My ex boyfriend, I said, I said, hey, can you sell me $5? That said, what? Four? I said, never mind. And then tweet the out.

[Mike]

No, wait, why are you asking him for $5, though?

[Pat]

That's a weird ass request too.

[Caller]

I was okay, listen, I was short on something. I was just short of something. But the problem is just like what are you asking me? What for? You're going to give it to me or not? If you give a crackhead $10, are you like, hey, brother, you're gonna buy crack with this? Why you going to take it back? Nigga, give me the 10 or what?

[Mike]

Honestly, I'm not going to lie. I would ask for what? To. Not because I don't want to give it to you, but just to inquire. Yeah, but I would want to inquire what you actually. $5. It's such a random amount to ask for.

[Pat]

Yeah, if someone asks. If someone asked me for $250, yeah, I would probably ask less questions because it could be spent in so many places and sometimes somebody just want to be up 250 just for emergency reasons. Now $5. What the are you doing? What the.

[Caller]

I' ma just say, I mean around here, like you go to the corner store and get you a whole meal for $5. Like I couldn't eat a food. It don't matter, it's $5. Like I could wipe my ass with that. Like you doing too much.

[Pat]

No, you gotta explain yourself.

[Caller]

Explain myself. Okay, how old are you giving this so much money? Like on, like, oh, you need 50 bucks? Here, take it. Don't pay me back. Don't worry about it. So the fact that he pressing me over five do dollars, like, exactly.

[Pat]

But you notice and you still rock with them though. You gotta, you gotta put yourself in the right mindset.

[Caller]

Ex, ex, boyfriend. I'm moving up. I'm moving up.

[Mike]

So what do you think? Like attracts bum ass niggas to y' all and your family?

[Pat]

Because she giving.

[Caller]

That's an amazing question. That's a great question. I wish I knew. I really wish I knew.

[Pat]

I can tell you why. Because you giving him money and they not giving you nothing back. You would never even have gotten relationship with him or slept with him if you never gave him anything.

[Jean]

Anything.

[Pat]

You can't just go into the relationship showing all your cars. You got to make people work a little bit, show some effort. You saying you gave us the scene?

[Caller]

We was, I thought we was like moving up together, right? Because when I first got with him, mind you, he's older than me, this is 25. When we first started dating, we got our apartment together. I learned how to drive, I taught myself how to drive. I bought myself a car. This nigga still can't Drive. It's like, it's still like that. Like, I worked on a career. This nigga is not like. So it's just like, he don't really offer me nothing. I don't know.

[Pat]

Like, listen, listen, listen. The only person we got contact with is you, so the only person we can give advice to is you. And it's like, it sounds like you be having, like, these big ass red flags, because I'm telling you, the ladies. The ladies that listen to this podcast, they be on that shit. So that red flag of not driving by 25, right off the rip, you knew that first date. You had to know that because how he get to the date?

[Caller]

Well, okay, first date, we went to a local spot. Our city is super walkable, so. And I drive then either. We dated for, like, three, four years. I also couldn't drive, so I'm like, all right, cool. We gonna hop on the bus. But it's a simple fact that this mother is calling him every day. Hey, son, when are you gonna drive? Oh, yeah, Mom, I'm working on it. This ain't even got his permit. That is a liar.

[Pat]

Yeah, I think he might be too old for it. Yeah, he might have aged out. Yeah, that can't get no permit here now. That's crazy. Yeah, I think it's. But that's on you, though. You gotta wake up, though. You got a better evaluation process for you.

[Mike]

So what. How's the day? How's the daily life for you now, though? Are you single?

[Caller]

Yeah, it's. It's going all right. I'm kind of focusing on myself. I'm trying to bring my grandma out of the trenches of the bum ass. So she'd be quick to be like, oh, you doing this, you doing that? And it's like, ma', am, this don't got a job. He's sleeping on your couch, and he gave you bad bugs and herpes. So stay focused.

[Mike]

It might be. It might be wise, too, once you kind of get into a. Like, a healthy relationship. Because sometimes when you. When people are giving advice and you're not living your advice, it's hard to take that advice.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Until you stop. I feel like you have to stop messing with bum ass so she can see how happy you are.

[Caller]

It's just the thing about a bum ass, they're funny and they can. And that's like. That's all they can offer.

[Pat]

So we know. We know what the problem is.

[Caller]

It's just hard out here, man.

[Mike]

I feel it. I feel it in my city.

[Caller]

It's Nothing but bombs, bro.

[Mike]

You have a good one.

[Jean]

Yo, hello? Yo, what's going on?

[Pat]

Who answers the phone like that?

[Mike]

So, yo, hello?

[Pat]

That was crazy.

[Mike]

That was bad.

[Pat]

That's very unique. I want to say crazy. I don't want to, like, downplay that. Yo, hello? That sound like you get. You know, you're getting bad news type.

[Mike]

All right, we got a question for you. I actually just finished. Just say the statement. Just start your sentence. Start your sentence with. Start your sentence with. Start your sentence with. I'm at the. And then say your answer.

[Jean]

All right? Okay. Am I the. For trying to steal my homeboy's girlfriend even though she was my ex? Huh?

[Mike]

What do you mean, steal?

[Jean]

All right, okay. So put you on point. So I dated this girl, right? And we broke up, like, two, three years ago. But by the time we were, like, been breaking up, we've been, like, talking on and off her, but nothing. But we've never really, like, made anything official again. But now she's with my homeboy, but I'm on type time. Like, I don't want to see her with nobody else. So do I start talking to her again?

[Pat]

No, no, no. The first thing you do is realize that's not your homeboy. What do you mean, homeboy? You talking about that.

[Mike]

Okay, okay.

[Jean]

He's not. He's not like my friend, but he's like a. I know him. Like, we're cool. We, like. We, like, play basketball together.

[Pat]

Like, that's not.

[Jean]

Hang out with each other.

[Pat]

That's not your homeboy. And once he initiated the first thing, then, yeah, it's up. It's. It's up, man.

[Mike]

I mean, yeah, you do whatever you want to be on at that point. Yeah. If he dated your ex, huh?

[Jean]

So I can steal her.

[Mike]

I mean, I don't know what's going.

[Pat]

I don't know if you can, because you. You saying I should. I don't think you really have that ability, but, bro, that's my ball.

[Jean]

That's my ball for life. Like, I don't. If I text her, bro, I don't think so.

[Pat]

I think he's balls deep in her, yo.

[Mike]

I mean, that's what's happening.

[Pat]

That's what's happening. Like, oh, why you being patient and saying that's my ball? He. Come on, now. Taking her to the hood.

[Mike]

You're on a pot legit. He's. She's probably in his bed right now. What time is it? Sunday, too.

[Jean]

Oh, yeah, On a Sunday?

[Mike]

Yes, yes.

[Pat]

Game seven Sunday. He the.

[Jean]

Out of her no, she's not, bro. Look, all right, watch, watch. I'm gonna steal. I'm gonna steal my girl back because I don't want her with nobody else, especially him. He's kind of a lame.

[Mike]

How's the process? He can't be. Can't be too much of a lane, right?

[Jean]

I'm trying to tell you. I'm trying to tell you. I'm trying to tell you what makes him lame.

[Mike]

What makes him lame. Let's hear.

[Jean]

Okay, one. I got more money than him. I look better than him. I dress better than him. I was playing basketball with him the other day. I was cooking him. And the girl. My ex, she literally liked my story the other day, right? And she's supposed to be together.

[Pat]

She liked your story and licked his.

[Jean]

Okay.

[Mike]

What do you do for a living, then?

[Jean]

I just graduated. I just graduated high school. I'm about to go to college.

[Mike]

And you make more money than him. How do you know that? What do you do?

[Jean]

I work. I work at it.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Jean]

I don't give out my.

[Mike]

No.

[Jean]

Yes, I work. Just say, like, I work at a fast food. Fast food. But I get. But I've been working there for, like, a year, So I. I make. I make more money. I'm already.

[Mike]

Now what did you do?

[Pat]

You're just doing this by, like, default. I bet you he doesn't have a job.

[Jean]

Yes, he doesn't.

[Pat]

That's what I'm saying. It's just by default. That doesn't mean anything. Y' all still got the same amount of money, so. I probably both still get money from your parents. Bro, you ain't got nothing.

[Jean]

No, I don't. I don't get money. All right? I don't get money from my parents.

[Pat]

Has more. Because he getting money from his parents.

[Jean]

He's not getting money from his parents. Like, allowance. That's so lame.

[Mike]

How's that lame?

[Jean]

Getting allowance at, like. We're the same age, so getting allowance of, like, 18, 19 years old.

[Pat]

Nah, bro, you can't.

[Mike]

You can't put a cap on these. Parents love him.

[Pat]

Yeah, he got.

[Jean]

Bro, go get a job, bro. You're lame. Still working off your parents. That's why. That's why I'm getting my ball back, because I'm. I'm working for myself.

[Mike]

But you got your ball taken, though.

[Jean]

Yes, I didn't get it taken. I gave my body through my. What? Wait, you gave my. Like, I placed my ball down and he picked it up.

[Pat]

Yeah, he picked it up and he dribbling.

[Caller]

Don't Say he's my girl.

[Pat]

Every time.

[Jean]

I can't even say anything. Pat is gonna say, are you? Or.

[Mike]

But that's true, though.

[Pat]

Every. Everything that you named, that's all he has to say back. Oh, and then he has another one. His parents are better than yours

[Jean]

on everything. His parents are better than mine.

[Pat]

I know.

[Mike]

What makes. What makes his parents. What makes your parents better?

[Jean]

I don't know his parents, but I know my parents are better.

[Mike]

What makes your parents. What's some good things your parents do for you all right, besides not giving you an allowance?

[Jean]

My parents, they got me a car.

[Pat]

That's rare.

[Jean]

Yeah, they got me a car. They take me places. They paying for my school.

[Mike]

Yeah. So you get your allowance. No, no, no.

[Pat]

They're not good parents, bro.

[Jean]

My parents are good.

[Pat]

No, no, I know why. I can tell you why.

[Jean]

Why?

[Pat]

Because they can't help you get your girl back.

[Jean]

Okay?

[Pat]

He got a grocery bag.

[Caller]

It

[Pat]

did Orange. Am I the live.

[Mike]

This is you.

[Pat]

Yo, yo, what's the deal? Welcome to Crash Dummies Podcast.

[Jean]

What's good? What's good, Mike? What's good? How y' all doing?

[Mike]

Pretty good. Pretty good. What number question you answer?

[Jean]

I think it was the one about what happened to somebody, and just the numbers got you.

[Mike]

All right,

[Pat]

What's something bad that happened to somebody, but what's something bad that happened to somebody but you're happy about it?

[Jean]

All right, so my homie, his ex, that he still has, you know, real genuine feelings for, got pregnant by his op. I say op, kind of like it's. That's a little extra because they. They don't hate each other. But at least. At least that's what I think. But, yeah, basically, he's been dealing with this girl since we were in high school. And of course, you know, certain things go. Situations happen where she was kind of manipulative and stuff like that, and she spun on a. Who she really didn't like, but she knew that he didn't like. And, yeah, so recently, you know, saying it was rekindling stuff, and she was just saying like, oh, yeah, like, I'm pregnant. He was like, damn. Because of course, he looked at this girl as, you know, somebody he could see a future with, and she told him who it was, and I ain't gonna lie, he didn't crash out. But, like, he. It was. It was bad. So I'll say that's good to say this, because we engineer majors, so you got to be on top of everything, and he was kind of slacking and like that. So, like, this one time, like, I ain't gonna lie, bro. Forgive me. That and that kid. So just do what you got to do. See what you got to go. So since then, you know, like, he been on his. You know what I'm saying? We all got internships and stuff like that. And now she has a child with a. Who works at Smoothie King. So that's. Yeah,

[Pat]

Bro. What the.

[Jean]

Did the kid do to you? Yeah, man, like, hey, bro, that's what it is, you know?

[Pat]

No, apologize to the kid before we. Because he had nothing to do with this. Or she.

[Jean]

You're right, you're right, you're right, you're right, you're right. My bad, little man.

[Mike]

I have nothing to add to that outside of the.

[Pat]

The kid. That's actually really good because you happy that he gets to concentrate on school now, right?

[Jean]

Because it was bad, bro. Like, don't get me wrong. Like, I understand heartbreak, but, like, that was. It took my. To the. To the ringer. So I'm like, damn, what's the.

[Pat]

What's the worst thing you've seen him do that, like, where he was like,

[Jean]

oh, yeah, he's gone, basically. We. We go to school in Texas, bro. So it's kind of like, you know what I'm saying? Like, it's a lot to do out here. Instead of. Don't get me wrong. This is your. His own prerogative. Whatever. Instead of like, kind of like just, you know, chilling out and stuff like that, he decides to go to this. This. This far out ass town and just, like, listen to some. Some real gothic ass music. I'm like, dog, it don't get that bad. Looked at, bro. Location, saw music. I'm like, yeah, I'm not.

[Pat]

How far away was he going, bro?

[Jean]

Was 35 minutes away from where we were. I was like, dog, it don't get that deep. It probably does, but heartbroken?

[Pat]

That's crazy.

[Jean]

I mean, don't get me wrong. Don't get me wrong. I. I get that.

[Pat]

No more disclaimers, bro. I'm sick of that.

[Mike]

How was it when you guys were in a relationship? When he was in a relationship with her? Like, how was that dynamic. How was y' all dynamic as friends when he was in. Actively in the relationship?

[Jean]

I like, don't get me wrong. Like, but, bro, if you in a relationship and you. Your time is with that person, I. I have nothing wrong with that. Like, that's. You know, she's doing stuff for you that I can't. So, you know, that's that's perfectly fine.

[Mike]

I mean, and he was good.

[Jean]

His mental. His mental was good too.

[Caller]

You know what I'm saying?

[Jean]

He was on top of everything. Yeah. So I'm thinking this girl is a good influence, but nah, bro, like, she did some real decisive and it was. It was up what she did.

[Pat]

You didn't say that part of the story, all these disclaimers.

[Jean]

No, see, she cheated on him with his op.

[Mike]

Oh, yeah. You just said that. Yeah, yeah.

[Pat]

After the relationship.

[Jean]

No, no. Like, basically we found that out. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, we was okay putting together, and she actually came out and said that. Yeah. She was with this while she was with him. Because the toxic thing with them, bro, is they. If they argue, my homeboy would just take a step back. We just chill. You know what I'm saying? We just chop it up about that. What she did. She went. And the. So that's what. That's. That's. That's what she did when they had arguments.

[Mike]

And was he faithful this whole relationship too?

[Jean]

Yeah, he was. To my knowledge, he was. I've never known him to be. No cheating, Right, Right.

[Pat]

Yeah. She hurt the whole crew with this one. I ain't gonna lie.

[Jean]

Everybody was. Everybody was talked about, hey, they had that soft ass.

[Pat]

35 minutes outside the city is crazy. No, he's soft as hell. I ain't gonna lie, bro. She ran into the city.

[Jean]

He ain't really angle, you know, my been through a lot.

[Caller]

Wait, wait, wait.

[Pat]

I didn't even ask that. Wait, wait, wait. Was they. Were they known as a relationship? Like, do a lot do.

[Jean]

A lot of people knew they was in a relationship?

[Pat]

Like, dude, yeah, bro.

[Jean]

Like, it was. I for we. We. They really, like, hit things off.

[Pat]

Okay, listen, listen, listen. So I'm asking. So it was a popular relationship, yes or no?

[Jean]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Is the OP popular too, where everybody know, like, oh, she pregnant by him. Like, everybody know this story.

[Jean]

Everybody know now, but it was more so like she got pregnant by a bum. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, this was known for being ass. Like, how the. So in that situation, bro, she. She downgraded. So that's on her.

[Pat]

No, that hurts.

[Mike]

How's your homie doing now, though?

[Jean]

Say again?

[Mike]

How's your. Your boy doing now?

[Jean]

He doing good, bro.

[Caller]

He.

[Jean]

I know him. He got an internship and everything. He out with his girlfriend right now.

[Mike]

He say out with his girlfriend right now. Are you keeping tabs on this?

[Jean]

He loves, bro.

[Caller]

We.

[Jean]

We in a close. We in a close friend Group, they on a trip. You know what I'm saying?

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Y' all boys, man.

[Mike]

Come on, dog.

[Jean]

Lord forbid. I got a cool homeboy.

[Pat]

That's real friendship. You're a real brother.

[Jean]

Yeah, we're trying to get like you. You and Mike.

[Mike]

I never know. That's the thing. That's a toxic thing about guys. It's like sometimes we don't know how to take compliments.

[Pat]

No, that was dick, right?

[Mike]

No, no. Because I never know where it's gonna lead to.

[Pat]

Them boys got a great story, and then he still want to be you and Mike. Y got some good going.

[Mike]

Yeah. I don't know. What, Pat don't know when I'm out on a date.

[Pat]

That's what you think? Nah, I know everything, bro. It's my city, bro.

[Mike]

What it do?

[Caller]

What do?

[Pat]

What's the deal? Welcome to Crashing.

[Jean]

How y' all doing?

[Mike]

Pretty good.

[Jean]

Pretty good? Oh, yeah, doing good. Doing good.

[Pat]

All right.

[Mike]

What?

[Pat]

My bad. What's something you saw that you weren't supposed to see?

[Jean]

See, bro, one time I was at a party, and we couldn't find my home girl, and so we went upstairs and we went into the wrong bedroom. We thought. We thought the girl would be in her bedroom, and we went into her roommate's room looking for her other friend, and my homegirl was scissoring this guy on the ground. I've never seen some like that in my life. And we never spoke about it again. All right,

[Pat]

I know what scissoring is, but I need you to explain it just to make sure we're talking about the same thing. Like, what were they doing?

[Jean]

So we opened the door, right, and the lights are off. They're both on their backs on the floor, right? Like, this girl and this guy, and their legs were just like. You know, they were scissoring. I don't know why that was their position.

[Pat]

No, no, no, no. He's an ally.

[Mike]

For real, and.

[Pat]

No, he's an ally, bro. He took one for the team. You know what, girl?

[Jean]

He must have been.

[Pat]

I got you, girl. I know you're not into that penetration, so.

[Mike]

Yes, that's what I was gonna ask. There was no penetration.

[Jean]

I didn't see any penetration. But, yeah, I closed the door pretty quick. And then we never spoke about that.

[Pat]

Was he. What? Okay, like, honest. Look. Were they both naked?

[Jean]

I think their pants were off. They were, like, half closed. You know what I mean?

[Mike]

When he deployed it. No, he said.

[Jean]

Like.

[Pat]

He said, dude had his underwear on.

[Jean]

No, no, I think. I think their pants are off. You know what I'm saying? I think they're like, shirts were on.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

When they deployed.

[Jean]

It never made sense to me. It never sat right.

[Pat]

No, that's crazy.

[Mike]

You don't think it was just like, maybe this a wild ass position they were in? Like, why'd your brain go to scissoring?

[Jean]

That's what they were doing.

[Mike]

So they both were on their backs.

[Pat]

No, that's crazy.

[Jean]

Both are on their back, legs all wrapped up and shit.

[Pat]

The thing about it is usually like. Like a woman's position. So I feel like, what a man's strength. Like, he probably is pretty good at it.

[Jean]

Like,

[Pat]

you know what I mean? Like, I would never try scissoring, but I figured I'd probably be pretty good at it.

[Mike]

What is the. What is the average.

[Jean]

You'd be good at scissoring.

[Pat]

He took one for the team.

[Mike]

I'm just saying, some people don't even

[Pat]

get to the scissors.

[Mike]

So are they back to back like this? Like, if they're both on their back,

[Pat]

you know what scissoring is?

[Mike]

Yes, but are they both on their back?

[Pat]

Yeah, I mean, it could be. Or he could straddle the leg. I don't know.

[Mike]

Like, I've seen it.

[Jean]

Might have to look it up, bro.

[Mike]

I've seen it with one girl's on top and one girl's.

[Pat]

They can be even, I think.

[Mike]

But they both on their backs. Like, which way are they facing each other?

[Jean]

They're. They're both on their back, like. Yeah, their crotches are together, you know?

[Pat]

You don't get it.

[Mike]

Yeah, I get it. It's just I've never even seen girl to girl scissoring like that. Like, both on their back.

[Pat]

Search history garbage. Wait, wait, wait. Okay, so you're telling me Moses. How many people did Moses have with.

[Mike]

You can't.

[Caller]

You can't.

[Mike]

You can't hail me for my Google search. That's not even a bad Google search to have.

[Pat]

How many people have.

[Jean]

Stupid as hell.

[Pat]

It's about the message. Nah, bro, I'm not thinking about the message. How many people you think he had?

[Mike]

Oh, my gosh. All right, man.

[Jean]

All right. Y' all take care.

[Pat]

All right. You scissor watcher

[Mike]

7.

[Pat]

He was low key, hating on dude. Like, dude did what he had to do.

[Mike]

Bro, sometimes you gotta do stuff to get to your ultimate goal, right?

[Pat]

If I scissor her this time, she gonna give me head next.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah. Come on.

[Pat]

I scissored you last time. What you mean you not come over now? That's crazy. I I think we said this already, but I just want to bring it back up. I think if you ask Kanye for 100k at the right time, he'll give it to you.

[Mike]

Yeah, I do think so. 100.

[Pat]

I think that's why people hang around them, because when people around them, the verbal abuse that they be going through, and I'll be saying, like, how I be yelling at people. Like, the only way somebody would be able to yell at me like that is at, like, one point in time. We were just chilling cell in at midnight, and he'd be like, yo, bro, check your phone. And I looked at myself, and it was 100k. Like, damn, that's crazy. Kanye, shut the up. Hey, you got it, bro. Whatever you gonna say, bro. All right. I mentioned this earlier. The female side of jail must be strict, as I'll never see him on Facebook or nothing. I've seen him on Facebook, but not more than.

[Mike]

Not more than men.

[Pat]

The men be on that.

[Mike]

They be shaking ass on Facebook. You think in the. In the woman jail? Hell, yeah. Who was that black dude that said the women sales smell worse than the man smell?

[Pat]

Yeah, but I'm saying, like, this got

[Mike]

something to do with the phone. You know, One plus, you added up the smell. The smell worse, I think. I think dudes like to. I think it's just a guy thing, though. Like, dudes like, to know that. Want people to know that they're living good.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Like, they good. Like, I'm in this prison and I got a phone. It's like, more the. Again, it's just like the. The ego thing.

[Pat]

I think you guys know that's the way to get. They're really doing that for the women.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Like, them dudes in prison, like, if you stay on their live too much, they'll literally cuss you out. If you a dude and you watching this. Get the out of here. Don't play that. This dude said. So this dude got written up at work for being too musty. You seen that?

[Mike]

No.

[Pat]

Yeah, he got written up at work for being too musty.

[Mike]

I guess I feel like it's a you that's something that you should get written up.

[Pat]

Yes. If you stink. You definitely distracted me from my work.

[Mike]

Yes. And distracting everybody else from their work.

[Pat]

Like, there's no way I can finish this email. Mr.

[Mike]

Musty, have you ever had a smelly co worker?

[Jean]

Yes.

[Pat]

I never had a smelly co worker, but I had a co worker that always smelled like beef jerky. And it wasn't like I knew he was Eating beef jerky. So it wasn't like, oh, what does that smell? I know it's beef jerky turkey. But like, by the seventh day of it, you just like, ah, this, like, a little bit too much. I might like beef jerky. Yeah.

[Mike]

You know the worst smell that I think, and it's not even funk. It's iris spring, bro. That smells so horrible. I see my.

[Pat]

I think our dads of anybody that's around our age, our dads were using that and it's like, that's that passed down in it, man. But that's why people wear it, because it can hide the funk.

[Mike]

Yes. It took over the smell of everything. Everything is strong, bro.

[Jean]

What?

[Mike]

I can't even describe it. Like, it tastes like a fresh plastic taste.

[Jean]

Whoa.

[Pat]

Fresh plastic smell like a fresh plastic. Oh, it's taste of fresh plastic is going on. Okay, I saw a clip of the. The shortest, highest school running back of all time.

[Mike]

Okay, how tall was he?

[Pat]

His name is adam Reed. He's 4, 5, 95 pounds.

[Mike]

Damn. High school. On varsity or high school?

[Pat]

Varsity. I seen like, I didn't see any clips of him in live action.

[Jean]

I'm.

[Pat]

I'm pretty sure he doesn't get in the game. That's just my hunt because I feel like there'll be a highlight tape with them. And, you know, I wasn't the greatest tackler in college. You know, I had over 100 career tackles, but not the greatest. I would pop this little. That's like, where you go, prove it. Like, yeah, I don't really like tackling shit. And you see him with the ball.

[Mike]

I did the same thing to, like, DBs in college because, you know, you always want to get those highlights of you blocking. Right, Right. So I knew when I was a running plan, it's like, the shorter DBs will come and press. I'm like, yes, this is my time to actually. Actually put some, like, you know, good blocking on. On tape. So I would block my ass off and like, drag it to the ground, type of like full effort. And the plays on the other side of the field.

[Pat]

The funniest I ever seen. I was watching one of my old high school teammates highlight tape. And Mike was. He. He played in college with me and Mike also. And Mike was on the tape and he. The dude was running a touchdown. But, like, as they ran by Mike, the other blocker blocked somebody into the back of Mike's leg. That's right. He rolls on camera, bro. Like, literally like five rolling on the ground. How much pain you gotta Be.

[Mike]

I was so up because I like, he said he was watching his friend. Our friend's highlight tape. So it was a. He scored a touchdown that play. But I was blocking and they rolled. I rolled my damn ankle that play. So see everybody celebrating. I'm like, in agony holding my ankle.

[Pat]

That's been me so many times, bro. We got the fumble. I'd be like, shut up. All right, question this for key question for you. Does the and get money mean ignore or have sex with.

[Mike]

I'm gonna have sex with.

[Pat]

So it's like have sex with women and then. And get money.

[Jean]

Yeah.

[Pat]

What do you think? I think it's changed over the. Over time, actually. I think it started as like the. And then like, who couldn't.

[Mike]

The was like, man,

[Pat]

That means something different. I'm changing the lid. No, that's funny as hell.

[Mike]

Somebody was there answer to that.

[Jean]

No, no.

[Pat]

I just wanted to see.

[Mike]

No, no, that's fine. There's no answers. I mean, I don't want to answer nothing. There's no act like, am I correct or not? I thought it was the song, like, because he had in the music video. That's why. I think it was like, back in

[Pat]

the day, you was able to disrespect women, like, right to their face.

[Mike]

Exactly. Yeah. Yeah.

[Pat]

I'm about to all these. And then the women would turn up and party. You can't even say. You can't even say, I'm here with all the. I'm here with all these beautiful women. Don't tell me what I am.

[Mike]

What the patch. I go back to the old days. You are what I say. All right.

[Pat]

In. In quotation marks, all you remember. And then the person replies, of course I did. I'm a manipulator, Man. It's so up that people use good as manipulation tactics. So if you're a good person, you always gonna get questioned. So this is another one going back to the Coldplay concert. The other guy cheating on his wife at the concert.

[Mike]

Phew. Yeah, bro. There had to be.

[Pat]

Yeah, definitely by just like sheer numbers there. Probably.

[Mike]

Let's just call it 20,000. Talking about the dude, the Jeff Bezos.

[Jean]

Oh, my God.

[Mike]

I don't be into. Like, I see it. And I'll be like, no way we

[Pat]

put that together for you. You did. You did.

[Mike]

But there have to be out of 20,000 people. There's. There's somebody there. It might not be as extreme as their situation, but there's someone there that's cheating on their girl. I wonder what makes the camera pan to them specifically. Cuz they're hog up and hugged up.

[Pat]

They trying to show big concert though.

[Mike]

Everybody got to be hugged up.

[Pat]

Their suite was above everybody.

[Mike]

Oh yeah, that's probably. It was a kiss cam too. Oh, so of course you're gonna do a kiss cam too. That's on dude, though, bro, you can't be in no sweet hugged up thinking you ain't gonna be. You ain't gonna be on camera in

[Pat]

front of the glass. I like thinking about. I'm like, damn, I'm in a suite. Like, why would they try to like, you know.

[Mike]

Yeah, but you're in the suite, but you're on the sweet balcony.

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mike]

Hugged up during it. The other part. No, we're going back to this again. No, I'm.

[Pat]

That's okay. No, no, no.

[Mike]

It's dumb now because I was giving the benefit of the doubt of like it happening too fast. If there's a kiss cam and they say, hey, there's a kiss cam going around. Do you think that's the point that I start to put my hands around my girl? Like, you see other people in love. I want to show us we're in love. Like, come on now. He looked pretty zooted though, so I don't think. No, bro, there's a kiss cam. Were they the first ones on the kiss cam?

[Pat]

It's a time and every. They thought he was in a romance movie, bro. They looked each other in the eyes and said, why not us?

[Mike]

You can see the shame in both of their face too. Especially the girl look like she was ready to cry right away.

[Jean]

No.

[Mike]

God.

[Pat]

Okay, all right. It say use AI for anything. I seen a. Ask Grock if he should wash his ass today.

[Mike]

No, there are some people we know, Jean, we know rely on AI for everything. It's annoying though, because it's like you'll be having a normal conversation and be like, yeah, I already asked chat GPT this and they said this is like, this is the way it should be done. Like, no. So lame. No, this is. No, we're talking about some real life. Like, no, that doesn't make any sense.

[Pat]

Yeah, I just don't like when people like don't ask the. The chat or the. The grok more questions about it. Like they take the first baseline answer they got. They'd be like, like, what should I do to jump start my business? And then they literally copy and paste the first thing. Like they don't even know what your business is. You don't even have a llc.

[Mike]

What Grot doing your businesses before you go to the next one. I, you know, when you somebody tell you a business plan and you know it's gonna fail. So somebody was telling me about the, how their business is going. This like, this like past week, right? He's like, yeah, you know everything. Because, you know, I was just asking like, how things are going, this and that. And he's like, yeah, you know, things. I just want to kind of start getting more serious with it and getting clients. And so I'm gonna start. And he said, I think I'm gonna just start LLC now to make it more official. I was like, nah, this thing is about to fail because people think that getting an llc, it's business. It's is like, oh, now it's more serious because of llc, you can still operate as a freelancer and get business before you start with llc. If you're making under, if you're making under a thousand dollars a month, there's no reason you need an llc.

[Pat]

You don't need an llc. You need another job. But no, seriously though, that shit's annoying. Especially when somebody got like some plan that, you know, not gonna work.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Come on to you, like, listen, bro, I got this great plan, bro. You know how people love pumpkins during Halloween? I feel like, what if I had them all year round? I'm gonna go door to door first at the beginning, then after I make my next million, then I'm gonna start sending it to.

[Mike]

And they're so, like delusionally passionate about it. That. And you know that, you know those people, you know, they're a little argumentative. They're like, no, no, no. But you're not seeing it from my point of view type of people.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

So you don't even feel the need to like, give them advice on it because you know they're gonna just come bat you with something because I've done that before. And they'd be like, no, you're not seeing where I'm seeing it from. I'm gonna put in like, I'm gonna do it differently.

[Pat]

Yes.

[Mike]

I'm gonna have them pre carved and then do it. Then he's like,

[Pat]

not pre carving. Okay. And I'm gonna sit on the pumpkin seeds. I think we should do Crash Dummies, Shark Tank.

[Mike]

It'd be so bad. Because there's some people that actually have good ideas because I'm not the type of person that claimed, like, I know everything. So I never want to shoot down somebody's idea just because I think it's Bad.

[Pat]

Yeah, but they are the. Really. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You would take the dumb ones to see if you should continue on.

[Caller]

Not going.

[Pat]

Tell you if it's going to be good or not, but we tell you if you should stop.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah. What was the jum. Dumbest job that you guys see out here today that's doing good? Like, what's a dumb. Dumb job that, you know, stupid. But people are dumb enough to buy into it. I don't join joining any, like, MLM groups.

[Pat]

Still, is it dumb if it's working?

[Mike]

It's dumb if you're starting now. Because you're at the bottom of the pyramid.

[Pat]

But he said that you see people doing.

[Mike]

Yeah, I mean, if you're at the. I guess you're at top of the pyramid, then you're good.

[Pat]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

[Mike]

But that's like the most. Yeah, but I think there's more people at the bottom than they are at the top of the pyramid. So that's just the dumbest thing I see. People keep rinsing and repeating. I personally think it's the people who get paid to hand out free samples. People, everybody gotta start somewhere. I feel like I'm not saying it like I'm shaming them, but I'm just saying it in, like, don't care about free samples. I don't think. Unless they old and like, see.

[Pat]

But they're getting paid. They're not giving away the free. That's not there.

[Mike]

No, but I'm talking about the concept. No, I feel it concept. Because even when I go to Costco and they're giving out free samples.

[Pat]

You ate that dude. Sausage.

[Mike]

That's how you do that. Because I ate the sausage. Because you rec. Because you recommended the sausage.

[Pat]

Hey, Pat came to me and said, sausage is good. I said, I'm about to go get my friend.

[Mike]

Nah, pass it. This is Pat word, verbatim. He said, hey, bro, this sausage tastes just like the McDonald's sausage. You should go try it. And I was about to walk past it. He said, nah, go try it, bro. But I, I.

[Pat]

Was it good?

[Mike]

It was good. But with the, with the sample thing, I'm the dude that always act like I'm really interested in the sample once I get it. Because you just don't want to see. Because I'd be hungry. Sometimes I just want to try it. So you try it now. Then you pick up the box and start looking at the calories in the back. And I'm never gonna buy this.

[Pat]

I love, I love When a sample is nasty, I literally go like this. I take one bite and I put it back in a sample cup and I crush it. Right. They drop it right in that trash can. They sitting by. You need to stop selling this for somebody beat your ass. Oh, man.

[Caller]

Okay.

[Pat]

All right. Tweet a week. This girl said, that pen just beat my ass. Oh, my God. A dude responded and said, a pan beat your ass. Wow. She responded, weed pan. He responded, I want you. Hey.

[Mike]

I feel it, though. Yeah. Because I feel like once you. Some dudes feel like once they get the girl they like or the girl they want to reply to them. You already know that she sees your messages.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

So this is the best opportunity to shoot your shot.

[Pat]

What other chance? Yeah, I get it. And some. And I feel like that I. I know some women that they can't. If they're approached in public and they do. Dude asks for their number, they're automatically going to give that dude their number and automatically going to give that dude a chance if they're single.

[Mike]

Automatically.

[Pat]

Just because they're so flattered that a dude would come up to them in public. There's a dude that they think is attractive and they make eye contact with, and that dude saw them for the whole party and then hit them up after, like, yo, you was fine as hell. And they don't with you after that because they think, oh, you didn't think I was fine enough for you to come up to me in public? So they take offense to that. So I get. Dude, that's a good strategy. Last one. Okay. It says, don't donate your plasma. Everybody, this is. Be careful.

[Mike]

I used to. I still got the marks.

[Pat]

Damn. Me too. I did, too. You got that TV from it, though.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

So you got something. You got more than a lot of people. It's one of these, ain't it?

[Mike]

Is that. Is that one.

[Pat]

Literally his blush went into?

[Mike]

Yeah, I. I did a little rapper.

[Pat]

First person to get plasma from his butt.

[Mike]

Oh, my God.

[Pat]

Let me see that. Short as how I go, man, why everybody else out there?

[Mike]

I've been here.

[Pat]

Oh, I already talked about that. When I accidentally put. I had aids.

[Mike]

What? When you do that?

[Pat]

I, like, I was just going through the questions my first time doing plasma, and I was just like. I was like, no, no, no, or

[Mike]

yes, yes, yes to everything? Like, yes, yes.

[Pat]

Yeah. Like, are you vaccinated?

[Mike]

Yes, yes, yes.

[Pat]

And I was going through, and it was like, do you have hiv? I was like, yes. So as I go back to, like, go to the chairs they like, oh, you got to come back here. It's like three doctors surrounding me. It's just like they. They literally was like, okay, so you have AIDS. We can't do it. So me being 19, not even realizing they haven't taken any blood or anything, I'm thinking they actually telling me I got aids. So, like, for the first four minutes in there, bro, I'm about to break down and cry. I'm like, bro, I got a. And I thought like, wait, how the y' all know I got like, no, you. You put it like, oh, my bad. Okay, sorry. But damn, in the middle of a tweet week, walk into that tv, I earn that.

[Mike]

I'm on in a raffle.

[Pat]

You was a Pl, but he was a plasma king, bro.

[Mike]

But I remember one time how much you used to make from plasma. He called like, 70 a week, probably.

[Pat]

And you. He used to be.

[Mike]

That was a lot back then. Yeah.

[Pat]

It's only doing 50 on a sauce.

[Mike]

$70 a week is a lot. Yes. For two hours of sitting in. For sitting somewhere.

[Pat]

Like a week or a day. Two hours of sitting down. Just two.

[Mike]

Two hours.

[Pat]

$75.

[Mike]

But don't they be up sometimes? Don't they, like, you got to take the needle out, put it back in.

[Pat]

No, not really, but. No, but for real. Blood, sweat, and tears. And so I think the most that I ever had on my plasma car was like two or three hundred dollars. I didn't go that much one time. I literally watch my call because you have to use to call the number on the back to check your account to see how much money you had on your car. But I swear, about five racks on it, they draining. He going there after hours. This must got some wakanda. Yo, we gonna give you 125 for your bro.

[Mike]

There's. I will say one thing too. Those. Oh, I. Looking back now is like, even when I was broke, I never really acted broke. I feel like I never had any tendencies that I was broke because I

[Pat]

was always around other, like, more broke. So it's like, yeah, okay, I am broke. Technically, I'm 20 and only got 1200 in my bank account. Technically, I can't really go out here and spend what I want, but the next to me just asked for $2.

[Mike]

Yeah, I think I was always driven to make money outside of, like, what I was already doing. I was already making money on social media in, like 2011 type of. So it's like I was always making, like, a little bit extra money, not like a whole bunch of extra, but I probably had, like, 300, 500 more than somebody at a time. You know what I'm saying?

[Pat]

I was too much of a lover boy not to have some money. Like, I was way too much of a lover boy back then. Like, come on, now. Get whatever popcorn you want. Not that one.

[Mike]

No.

[Pat]

No.

[Mike]

I definitely was going to the movies on Tuesday morning.

[Pat]

Oh, yeah. This how you know you black? When you know you already there for the discount and you still ask if the discount's still active. It's still $5, right? If I swipe my car. Oh, damn. Got to finish the tweet.

[Mike]

Say, save for Patreon.

[Pat]

Don't donate plasma. Damn, Mike, that's. He. Don't donate your plasma. It's a big scam, and they just using it to make TVs. Gg's. Let's get to the caller. Anyway, yeah, whichever end we at.

[Mike]

Yeah. Anyways, thank y' all for watching the pod. Listen to the pod. Make sure you guys subscribe to Patreon. We are dropping 2 extra. I guess we gotta kind of intro it for people again. We dropped two extra episodes on Tuesdays per month on Patreon, and for this month only, we are doing 50 off your first month. Yeah, Peace.

[Pat]

Let us know. Merch coming soon. Also, Patreon, as you see, we're gonna do something special for our Patreon listeners. You gotta come to the Patreon and see. But. Oh, yeah, we're about to have, like, a little live session where we're letting people ask us questions live. We're gonna respond live. And then people are. You won't get the. The footage live, but you'll see us when you actually do it. So we about to do that right now. Get over to Patreon.

[Mike]

Peace.