Crash Dummies Podcast: "She Called Off The Wedding"

Episode 237 | December 17, 2025

Episode Overview

In this episode of the Crash Dummies Podcast, hosts Pat and Mike return for a jam-packed show filled with candid convos, audience call-ins, and hilarious commentary on everything from viral news to deeply personal stories. The central theme revolves around relationship disasters, self-reflection after romantic failure, societal expectations in love and dating, and the various forms of chaos people bring into their own lives (and sometimes, to their friend’s pockets). The tone is brutally honest, frequently irreverent, and consistently funny, with Pat and Mike inviting listeners and call-in guests to air out their relationship L’s, family beefs, and even vendettas against celebrities.

Key Discussion Points & Segments

1. Senior Drivers & AI Pranks

Timestamp: 01:01 – 03:55

Pat and Mike joke about how advanced AI can now be used to prank or even manipulate the elderly, especially around driving habits.
Mike vents about his dwindling patience for senior drivers as he approaches “grandpa age”, revealing both empathy and exasperation.

“My assumption is that there’s a person just like me in front of me…So you fudgeing with my time. So now I get on side of you…95 year old military veteran black dude. He’s just looking at me like, I’m so sorry.” (Mike, 01:40)

Memorable Bit:
They riff on the idea of a government-run, free Uber for seniors, only to spiral into GTA references where people keep old folks hostage for unlimited rides.

2. Announcements & Patreon Updates

Timestamp: 04:14 – 06:50

Pat and Mike recap their sold-out Chicago live show and discuss possibly adding a late show if there’s enough demand.
Early episode drop for the holidays is announced; Patreon membership is half off this month.
Preview of an upcoming Patrick Cloud episode on Patreon.

“We really want y’all to participate in the show, so don’t be afraid…they asked us to do a second show at 9:15…” (Pat, 05:21)

3. Michigan Coach Scandal & Workplace Affairs

Timestamp: 08:01 – 17:24

Discussion of the latest controversy around the Michigan football coach, focused on power dynamics, workplace romance, and the personal/professional fallout of reckless behavior.
Mike theorizes about how sudden wealth can overwhelm people who never experienced romantic attention before fame.
Pat reflects on how much of workplace infidelity has always existed—just now it's more publicized.

“He is horny. Like, he’s so horny, bro. Like, you gotta be horny…you don’t know who the fuck you talking to.” (Mike, 12:46)

Notable Insight:
Pat highlights how companies force disclosure of relationships due to the power dynamic. They compare public scandals and reference AMY Robach & T.J. Holmes, and even joke about the Curry parents’ infamous “spouse swap.”

4. Audience Calls: Love, Loss, and Wild Stories

Timestamp: 22:19 – 61:16

A) Eight Days Before the Wedding

Timestamp: 23:01 – 31:45

Guest shares losing multiple women at once, including his fiancée who called off their wedding just eight days before the date.
Made an album inspired by the breakup, performing acapella for the hosts.

“She walked up to me and said, I don’t know if I want to get married no more. I said, for what? She said, I don’t know. Here’s the ring. Gave me the ring, and I packed up my shit, and I was gone.” (Guest 1, 25:43)

Guest plugs his album, “All Besides Being Young,” and even shares voice memos from his ex used on the record.

B) The Provider Dilemma

Timestamp: 32:08 – 40:04

Female guest vents about the struggle of being single after a relationship where her man paid all the bills.
She insists her non-negotiable in dating is a man who can “…fully provide for me.” (Guest 5, 32:41)
Pat and Mike poke holes in her logic, questioning what she brings to the table in a relationship besides domestic labor.

“Provider first conversation is crazy.” (Pat, 39:00)

She explains most relationships failed due to non-alignment on kids or religion.

C) The High School Sweetheart—And Bisexuality in Small Towns

Timestamp: 42:34 – 49:59

Male guest shares heartbreak over a high school sweetheart marrying someone else, struggles with being bi in a small Texas town, and his own “fumbled bags.”
Mike and Pat encourage him to internalize that “she wasn’t the one” and to find peace with moving on.

“For one, most of them have been men.” (Guest 7, 47:34)

D) Family Beefs & “Pay Grandma Her Money!”

Timestamp: 50:06 – 56:48

Female guest (recovering from a colonoscopy) goes on a hilarious rant against her cousin Jamil, who scammed their grandma and threatened violence.
She wants her cousin to “Pay grandma her money, you bum ass…” and is ready to fight him if needed.

She ties back to an earlier appearance on the podcast and gets info about possible upcoming Crash Dummies shows in North Carolina.

E) Sneaky Links Gone Wrong

Timestamp: 56:49 – 62:06

Male guest’s “biggest op” is a former sneaky link who left nail clippings in his car, leading his main girl to break up with him.
Despite being married now, he admits spinning the block for closure with the sneaky link before settling down.

“She left you eight days before. Was there an event? Did you get caught cheating or something?” (Mike, 25:39)

“She got caught cheating. Is that how hers ended?” (Mike, 58:10)

He reflects on his past, claiming to be a changed and faithful man.

F) Celebrity Grudges: Timothy Chalamet

Timestamp: 62:26 – 66:13

Guest discusses his irrational disdain for Timothy Chalamet, arguing he plays the same role in every film and is overhyped by fans.

“Timothy Chalamet can’t stand his ass…he’s just, he doesn’t even, like, make a persona.” (Guest 4, 62:31)

G) The Pocket-Watching Friend

Timestamp: 66:20 – 70:57

A day-trading young man complains about a friend who mooches meals and money nonstop.
Hosts advise him to “cut off the leech” before resentment builds and offer strategies to get the message across.

5. Reflections: Relationship Patterns, Honesty, and Social Media Negativity

Timestamp: 71:01 – 90:28

Pat and Mike analyze how people vent about relationships or family drama, often omitting their own role in the problems.

“Only two things could be true. Right. It’s either you’re lying…or you just don’t know how to pick them.” (Mike, 74:18)

They discuss how deceptive people are about their habits (e.g., going out), and how failing to be upfront about who you are dooms relationships.
Advice: Don’t oversell or undersell yourself; be honest about your interests and desires to find the right match (camping, outgoing, etc.).
Pat and Mike stress the importance of discussing expectations and boundaries in relationships before crises arise.

6. Internet Shaming, Trolls & Cancel Culture

Timestamp: 86:01 – 90:21

They talk about the satisfying spectacle of internet trolls getting exposed, especially racists who are doxxed and reported to authorities.
Commentary on negative viral trends, the incentive structure for internet hate, and why some platforms now aggressively delete negative comments.

Notable Quotes & Moments

“If four people punch me in the face in one day, I’mma think like, damn…after the fourth one, damn, it might be me.” — Mike (24:15)
“She walked up to me and said, ‘I don’t know if I want to get married no more.’ …Here’s the ring…So I packed up my shit, and I was gone.” — Guest 1 (25:43)
“She just left you. Eight days before?” — Mike (25:38)
“You a dirty. I’m petty as. I don’t wish you the best. I wish you the worst. I hope your dog die.” — Guest 1, message to his ex (29:54)
“Provider first conversation is crazy.” — Pat (39:00)
“What are you bringing to the table?” — Pat, playfully going full ‘red pill’ (39:32)
“For one, most of them have been men.” — Guest 7 on dating, coming out as bi (47:34)
“Pay grandma her money, you bum ass …And also…he threatened to kill her…” — Guest 6’s infamous cousin beef (53:12)
“She left nail clippings in my car so my girl could find them…” — Guest 2, sneaky link drama (57:12)

Episode Structure & Flow

Banter and social commentary open the episode (01:01–08:00), setting up a relaxed, relatable tone.
Announcements and upcoming events follow.
Depth enters via relationship stories—call-ins featuring heartbreak and infidelity (23:01–31:45 and onward).
The show oscillates between comic relief and raw emotional reflection, giving space for both hilariously pettiness (pet messages to exes, family drama) and sincere discussion (moving on from heartbreak).
New segments challenge societal assumptions about dating, gender roles, and friendship.
Internet and pop culture talk closes the episode, grounding it in the everyday chaos (with advice to both ignore trolls and delete the hate).

Listener Takeaways

On Relationships: Breakups blindside, closure is rare, and self-reflection is essential. Your ex’s actions aren’t always about you.
On Dating Norms: Upfront clarity about expectations beats bitterness down the road. “Provider” debates reveal how much upbringing shapes someone’s checklist.
On Friendship: Don’t be a leech, and don’t enable one, even if it gets awkward.
On Internet Culture: The loudest voices are often the saddest trolls; don't engage, just block.
On Fame and Scandal: Status changes people, but personal growth is on you.

Final Thoughts

The Crash Dummies Podcast underscores that while relationships and social life are filled with disappointment, comedy is a healing force. “She Called Off The Wedding” is both group therapy and a roast session, proving you’re not alone in your relational wreckage.

Further Listening

Check out Guest 1’s album: “All Besides Being Young” for the full heartbreak soundtrack.
Patreon alerts: Half off this month, plus the exclusive Patrick Cloud episode.

For more episodes, participate in fan call-ins, and check out live show dates, visit the Crash Dummies Podcast Patreon or follow them on social.

For all the heartbreaks, haters, freeloaders, and freaky coaches, Pat and Mike have got you covered—with advice to laugh, reflect, and always keep it real.

Crash Dummies Podcast: "She Called Off The Wedding"

Episode 237 | December 17, 2025

Episode Overview

Key Discussion Points & Segments

1. Senior Drivers & AI Pranks

Timestamp: 01:01 – 03:55

Pat and Mike joke about how advanced AI can now be used to prank or even manipulate the elderly, especially around driving habits.
Mike vents about his dwindling patience for senior drivers as he approaches “grandpa age”, revealing both empathy and exasperation.

“My assumption is that there’s a person just like me in front of me…So you fudgeing with my time. So now I get on side of you…95 year old military veteran black dude. He’s just looking at me like, I’m so sorry.” (Mike, 01:40)

Memorable Bit:
They riff on the idea of a government-run, free Uber for seniors, only to spiral into GTA references where people keep old folks hostage for unlimited rides.

2. Announcements & Patreon Updates

Timestamp: 04:14 – 06:50

Pat and Mike recap their sold-out Chicago live show and discuss possibly adding a late show if there’s enough demand.
Early episode drop for the holidays is announced; Patreon membership is half off this month.
Preview of an upcoming Patrick Cloud episode on Patreon.

“We really want y’all to participate in the show, so don’t be afraid…they asked us to do a second show at 9:15…” (Pat, 05:21)

3. Michigan Coach Scandal & Workplace Affairs

Timestamp: 08:01 – 17:24

Discussion of the latest controversy around the Michigan football coach, focused on power dynamics, workplace romance, and the personal/professional fallout of reckless behavior.
Mike theorizes about how sudden wealth can overwhelm people who never experienced romantic attention before fame.
Pat reflects on how much of workplace infidelity has always existed—just now it's more publicized.

“He is horny. Like, he’s so horny, bro. Like, you gotta be horny…you don’t know who the fuck you talking to.” (Mike, 12:46)

4. Audience Calls: Love, Loss, and Wild Stories

Timestamp: 22:19 – 61:16

A) Eight Days Before the Wedding

Timestamp: 23:01 – 31:45

Guest shares losing multiple women at once, including his fiancée who called off their wedding just eight days before the date.
Made an album inspired by the breakup, performing acapella for the hosts.

“She walked up to me and said, I don’t know if I want to get married no more. I said, for what? She said, I don’t know. Here’s the ring. Gave me the ring, and I packed up my shit, and I was gone.” (Guest 1, 25:43)

Guest plugs his album, “All Besides Being Young,” and even shares voice memos from his ex used on the record.

B) The Provider Dilemma

Timestamp: 32:08 – 40:04

Female guest vents about the struggle of being single after a relationship where her man paid all the bills.
She insists her non-negotiable in dating is a man who can “…fully provide for me.” (Guest 5, 32:41)
Pat and Mike poke holes in her logic, questioning what she brings to the table in a relationship besides domestic labor.

“Provider first conversation is crazy.” (Pat, 39:00)

She explains most relationships failed due to non-alignment on kids or religion.

C) The High School Sweetheart—And Bisexuality in Small Towns

Timestamp: 42:34 – 49:59

Male guest shares heartbreak over a high school sweetheart marrying someone else, struggles with being bi in a small Texas town, and his own “fumbled bags.”
Mike and Pat encourage him to internalize that “she wasn’t the one” and to find peace with moving on.

“For one, most of them have been men.” (Guest 7, 47:34)

D) Family Beefs & “Pay Grandma Her Money!”

Timestamp: 50:06 – 56:48

Female guest (recovering from a colonoscopy) goes on a hilarious rant against her cousin Jamil, who scammed their grandma and threatened violence.
She wants her cousin to “Pay grandma her money, you bum ass…” and is ready to fight him if needed.

She ties back to an earlier appearance on the podcast and gets info about possible upcoming Crash Dummies shows in North Carolina.

E) Sneaky Links Gone Wrong

Timestamp: 56:49 – 62:06

Male guest’s “biggest op” is a former sneaky link who left nail clippings in his car, leading his main girl to break up with him.
Despite being married now, he admits spinning the block for closure with the sneaky link before settling down.

“She left you eight days before. Was there an event? Did you get caught cheating or something?” (Mike, 25:39)

“She got caught cheating. Is that how hers ended?” (Mike, 58:10)

He reflects on his past, claiming to be a changed and faithful man.

F) Celebrity Grudges: Timothy Chalamet

Timestamp: 62:26 – 66:13

Guest discusses his irrational disdain for Timothy Chalamet, arguing he plays the same role in every film and is overhyped by fans.

“Timothy Chalamet can’t stand his ass…he’s just, he doesn’t even, like, make a persona.” (Guest 4, 62:31)

G) The Pocket-Watching Friend

Timestamp: 66:20 – 70:57

A day-trading young man complains about a friend who mooches meals and money nonstop.
Hosts advise him to “cut off the leech” before resentment builds and offer strategies to get the message across.

5. Reflections: Relationship Patterns, Honesty, and Social Media Negativity

Timestamp: 71:01 – 90:28

Pat and Mike analyze how people vent about relationships or family drama, often omitting their own role in the problems.

“Only two things could be true. Right. It’s either you’re lying…or you just don’t know how to pick them.” (Mike, 74:18)

They discuss how deceptive people are about their habits (e.g., going out), and how failing to be upfront about who you are dooms relationships.
Advice: Don’t oversell or undersell yourself; be honest about your interests and desires to find the right match (camping, outgoing, etc.).
Pat and Mike stress the importance of discussing expectations and boundaries in relationships before crises arise.

6. Internet Shaming, Trolls & Cancel Culture

Timestamp: 86:01 – 90:21

They talk about the satisfying spectacle of internet trolls getting exposed, especially racists who are doxxed and reported to authorities.
Commentary on negative viral trends, the incentive structure for internet hate, and why some platforms now aggressively delete negative comments.

Notable Quotes & Moments

“If four people punch me in the face in one day, I’mma think like, damn…after the fourth one, damn, it might be me.” — Mike (24:15)
“She walked up to me and said, ‘I don’t know if I want to get married no more.’ …Here’s the ring…So I packed up my shit, and I was gone.” — Guest 1 (25:43)
“She just left you. Eight days before?” — Mike (25:38)
“You a dirty. I’m petty as. I don’t wish you the best. I wish you the worst. I hope your dog die.” — Guest 1, message to his ex (29:54)
“Provider first conversation is crazy.” — Pat (39:00)
“What are you bringing to the table?” — Pat, playfully going full ‘red pill’ (39:32)
“For one, most of them have been men.” — Guest 7 on dating, coming out as bi (47:34)
“Pay grandma her money, you bum ass …And also…he threatened to kill her…” — Guest 6’s infamous cousin beef (53:12)
“She left nail clippings in my car so my girl could find them…” — Guest 2, sneaky link drama (57:12)

Episode Structure & Flow

Banter and social commentary open the episode (01:01–08:00), setting up a relaxed, relatable tone.
Announcements and upcoming events follow.
Depth enters via relationship stories—call-ins featuring heartbreak and infidelity (23:01–31:45 and onward).
The show oscillates between comic relief and raw emotional reflection, giving space for both hilariously pettiness (pet messages to exes, family drama) and sincere discussion (moving on from heartbreak).
New segments challenge societal assumptions about dating, gender roles, and friendship.
Internet and pop culture talk closes the episode, grounding it in the everyday chaos (with advice to both ignore trolls and delete the hate).

Listener Takeaways

On Relationships: Breakups blindside, closure is rare, and self-reflection is essential. Your ex’s actions aren’t always about you.
On Dating Norms: Upfront clarity about expectations beats bitterness down the road. “Provider” debates reveal how much upbringing shapes someone’s checklist.
On Friendship: Don’t be a leech, and don’t enable one, even if it gets awkward.
On Internet Culture: The loudest voices are often the saddest trolls; don't engage, just block.
On Fame and Scandal: Status changes people, but personal growth is on you.

Final Thoughts

Further Listening

Check out Guest 1’s album: “All Besides Being Young” for the full heartbreak soundtrack.
Patreon alerts: Half off this month, plus the exclusive Patrick Cloud episode.

For more episodes, participate in fan call-ins, and check out live show dates, visit the Crash Dummies Podcast Patreon or follow them on social.

For all the heartbreaks, haters, freeloaders, and freaky coaches, Pat and Mike have got you covered—with advice to laugh, reflect, and always keep it real.

She Called Off The Wedding

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Summary

Crash Dummies Podcast: "She Called Off The Wedding"

Episode Overview

Key Discussion Points & Segments

1. Senior Drivers & AI Pranks

2. Announcements & Patreon Updates

3. Michigan Coach Scandal & Workplace Affairs

4. Audience Calls: Love, Loss, and Wild Stories

A) Eight Days Before the Wedding

B) The Provider Dilemma

C) The High School Sweetheart—And Bisexuality in Small Towns

D) Family Beefs & “Pay Grandma Her Money!”

E) Sneaky Links Gone Wrong

F) Celebrity Grudges: Timothy Chalamet

G) The Pocket-Watching Friend

5. Reflections: Relationship Patterns, Honesty, and Social Media Negativity

6. Internet Shaming, Trolls & Cancel Culture

Notable Quotes & Moments

Episode Structure & Flow

Listener Takeaways

Final Thoughts

Further Listening

Episode Quick Links

Summary

Crash Dummies Podcast: "She Called Off The Wedding"

Episode Overview

Key Discussion Points & Segments

1. Senior Drivers & AI Pranks

2. Announcements & Patreon Updates

3. Michigan Coach Scandal & Workplace Affairs

4. Audience Calls: Love, Loss, and Wild Stories

A) Eight Days Before the Wedding

B) The Provider Dilemma

C) The High School Sweetheart—And Bisexuality in Small Towns

D) Family Beefs & “Pay Grandma Her Money!”

E) Sneaky Links Gone Wrong

F) Celebrity Grudges: Timothy Chalamet

G) The Pocket-Watching Friend

5. Reflections: Relationship Patterns, Honesty, and Social Media Negativity

6. Internet Shaming, Trolls & Cancel Culture

Notable Quotes & Moments

Episode Structure & Flow

Listener Takeaways

Final Thoughts

Further Listening

Episode Quick Links