Short Term Relationships - Episode 225

Summary

Crash Dummies Podcast with Pat and Mike

Episode 225: Short Term Relationships
Date: September 24, 2025

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Overview

In this episode, Pat and Mike dive into the nuances of short-term versus long-term relationships after 30, the fine line between “girlfriend annoying” and “dealbreaker annoying,” the pitfalls of group accountability among friends, and a deep-dive into the viral Dame Dash vs. Breakfast Club interview. They field a flurry of wild listener calls, blending hilarious banter, real talk about relationships, and tangential discourses on street credibility, concert etiquette, abbreviations, and pet peeves.

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Main Discussion Points & Insights

1. “Girlfriend Annoying” vs. “This Isn't Going to Work Annoying”

⏰ [00:59] – [06:00]

• Pat and Mike distinguish between tolerable quirks in a partner and signals that a relationship won’t last.
  • “Girlfriend annoying is she's texting you 15 times during the day...what you doing, what you doing, what you doing?” – Pat [01:23]
  • “It’s not gonna work is more like, she texting your homies...that ain’t gonna fly, baby girl.” – Pat [01:32]
  • They agree that everyone is annoying sometimes, and accountability matters more than perfection.
  • Accepting minor annoyances is part of any long-term relationship.
  • “If you can't get through your girlfriend being annoying and realize you still want to be with that person, then that means you give up on everything.” – Pat [02:20]

2. Holding Friends Accountable & Relationship Standards

⏰ [05:32] – [07:08]

• Discussion around how men rarely question their friends’ complaints about partners and the societal need for self & friend accountability.
  • “We don’t often investigate further into our friends allegations against their spouses.” – Mike [05:35]
  • Need for both genders to hold their friends to higher relationship standards.

3. Listener Call: Short Term Relationships After 30

⏰ [36:51] – [44:31]

• A female caller shares her frustration with men desiring short-term relationships past 30, calling such requests “childish.”
  • “If you’re asking for a short term relationship past the age of 30, it’s childish.” – Caller 1 [36:51]
  • The group debates dating app culture, the “contract” mentality, and the importance of being upfront about standards.
  • Suggestions include changing app settings to filter for truly long-term prospects and focusing on meeting people in real life.
  • The caller comes away considering to "get a little more strict" with her standards [41:53].

4. Hood Politics, Cred & Street Culture

⏰ [09:40] – [16:38]

• Pat and Mike riff on “hoodie politics,” why you don’t borrow clothes from friends in street beefs, and why street cred is less about geography and more about character.
  • “If you know both parties, and know what lines someone will or won’t cross, you might have to warn your friends: ‘He really like that.’” – Mike [13:09]

5. Concert and Venue Etiquette

⏰ [16:38] – [20:44]

• Stories about NBA Youngboy concert chaos, ushers being fans not securities, and wild memories from hosting a Lil Uzi event.
  • “...the security guard literally just got the job so they can get front row tickets to Beyoncé.” – Pat [18:51]

6. Viral Dame Dash vs. Charlamagne/Breakfast Club Interview

⏰ [23:12] – [31:39]

• The crew dissect Dame Dash’s viral appearance, his outdated barbs, and the modern irrelevance of “tough guy” posturing.
  • “The way he said it: ‘Wendy Williams is your OG.’ If I’d heard that in another context, I wouldn’t even flinch.” – Pat [23:23]
  • Pat critiques Dame for being “a very confident liar,” throwing out financial claims no one can verify.
  • “Dame's biggest mistake is being a very confident liar.” – Pat [27:17]
  • They also discuss problematic battle-rap style insults and how arguing about “who would win in a fight” is played out.

7. Listener Call Highlights

A. PSA: Don’t Name Your Kid Jr. Unless You Know Who the Dad Is
⏰ [44:52]– [46:55]

• A wild tale about a woman naming her child Jr. while paternity was in question.

B. PSA: Nobody Wants to Play Stepdad
⏰ [49:07]– [53:14]

• A 30-year-old man vents about women introducing their kids too early and not wanting to “play stepdad,” then admits he still hooks up with single moms and is called out for being inconsistent:
  • “One thing I hate though...my age or older and they talk like that young bro, that is disgusting.” – Pat [52:09]

C. Music Video Nostalgia
⏰ [60:31]– [63:26]

• Caller wishes Kai Cenat would bring back “106 & Park,” lamenting the lack of creative music videos today.

D. Parasitic Fan Culture

• A listener calls Pat his “fourth goat” and gives a rundown of the pod’s cast popularity. [64:03]–[66:00]

8. Pet Peeves and Modern Communication

A. Abbreviations Overload ⏰ [80:29] – [84:00]

• Rant on the proliferation of new messaging abbreviations and the evolution of “LOL, LMAO, etc.,”
  • Pat: “At least, at the time, it makes sense. Like I'm about to start. I might have to look something up.” [81:23]

B. Relationship Texting Etiquette ⏰ [83:00] – [84:14]

• “Love you” vs. “I love you” vs. emoji expectation.

9. Tweet of the Week and Meme Culture

• “I dropped the wood and just fell with it. I don’t give a f*ck no more.” – Tweet [84:28]
• Pat and Mike discuss minor annoyances and compounding inconveniences that make for a terrible day.
• Analysis of the new iPhone feature that screens unknown callers [86:00], and a meme about “baked chicken, green beans, and rice for dinner” as a low-key power move.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (by Timestamp)

• Pat, on giving up:
  “If you can't get through your girlfriend being annoying and realize you still want to be with that person, then that means you give up on everything.”
  [02:20]

• Mike, on accountability:
  “We don’t often investigate further into our friends’ allegations against their spouses.”
  [05:35]

• Female Caller, on dating after 30:
  “If you’re asking for a short term relationship past the age of 30, it’s childish, and I think you need to grow up.”
  [36:51]

• Pat, on Dame Dash:
  “Dame's biggest mistake is being a very confident liar.”
  [27:17]

• On relationship texting:
  “I have gotten reprimanded in past relationships for, like, putting ‘I love you’ with just the letter U...”
  [83:38]

• Pat nails ADHD humor:
  “Bro you annoying as f*ck...”
  [68:29] (to a caller who sounds like Aries Spears was rude at the airport)

• On women's meal pics on social media:
  “I feel like when females do that, that's always towards a dude that they was in an argument with.”
  [91:35]

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Tone & Style

The Crash Dummies crew present an endlessly irreverent, punchy, and quick-witted conversation. Pat’s sarcasm and Mike’s dry delivery make for a playful but insightful dynamic. The tone stays unserious even through supposedly serious segments—jokes and quick retorts abound. The language stays authentic, unfiltered, and more than occasionally dips into wild or explicit territory. The participation of friends like Key and Keith, as well as rowdy listener calls, inject randomness and keep the pod feeling like a barbershop or living room roast.

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Episode Structure and Flow

1. Opening Banter: Brief commercial riffs, sponsor mentions, and setup for the relationship discussion.
2. Main Topics: Thematic riffing on modern relationships, accountability, and friendship dynamics.
3. Viral Culture Discussion: The Dame Dash interview and comedic breakdown.
4. Listener Calls: Unfiltered, wild audience participation keeps things lively and unpredictable.
5. Pet Peeves & Meme Moments: Details about texting etiquette, social media behaviors, and modern slang.
6. Closing Segments: Humorous debates on music nostalgia, abbreviations, food presentation, and fan hierarchy (who’s the “goat” among the hosts).
7. Outro: Light shout-outs, upcoming show plugs, and more sponsor spam.

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For Listeners Who Missed It

• Expect real-but-unfiltered talk: about dating after 30, why standards matter, and how men and women both need to be more accountable—and more upfront—about what they're seeking.
• Highlights include callers sharing the pain of modern dating, ridiculous PSAs ("don’t name your kid Jr. if you’re not sure of the dad!"), and a barrage of cultural pet peeves.
• The Dame Dash/Breakfast Club interview is unpacked on multiple levels—why Dame’s strategy is outdated, and why “calling people soft” in 2025 is played out, bordering on self-parody.
• The entire episode is laced with quick-wit, roast culture, and an infectious refusal to take anything too seriously.

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Table of Notable Segments & Timestamps

| Segment | Notes | Start-[End] Time | |---|---|---| | Girlfriend Annoying vs. Dealbreaker | Defining tolerable vs. intolerable quirks | [00:59]–[06:00] | | Friend Accountability | Women, men, holding boys/partners accountable | [05:32]–[07:08] | | Short-Term Love After 30 | On dating app “contracts” and self-worth | [36:51]–[44:31] | | Hoodie Street Cred | Borrowing hoodies and beef | [09:40]–[16:38] | | Concert Chaos | Jumping fences, fake security, Uzi memories | [16:38]–[20:44] | | Dame Dash Interview | Viral takeaways, trolling, outdated insults | [23:12]–[31:39] | | Abbreviations Overload | Modern texting pet peeves | [80:29]–[84:00] | | Relationship Texts | “Love you” vs. “I love you” vs. emoji rules | [83:00]–[84:14] |

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This episode is a chaotic yet pointed look at relationships (of all kinds) in the social media age—interrupted by the kinds of wild tangents and unpredictable calls that have become a Crash Dummies hallmark.

Transcript

[Pat]

ABC Wednesday. Shifting Gears is back. He has arisen. Tim Allen and Kat Dennings return in television's number one new comedy.

[Mike]

What what?

[Pat]

With a star studded premiere including Jenna Elfman, Nancy Travis and. Hey, buddy. A big home improvement reunion. Welcome.

[Mike]

Oh, boy, that guy's a tool.

[Pat]

Shifting Gears season premiere Wednesday, 8, 7 Central on ABC and stream on Hulu.

[Mike]

Mint is still $15 a month for premium wireless.

[Pat]

And if you haven't made the switch.

[Mike]

Yet, here are 15 reasons why you should. One, it's $15 a month. Two, seriously, it's $15 a month.

[Pat]

Three, no big contracts.

[Mike]

Four, I use it.

[Pat]

Five, my mom uses it. Are you, are you playing me off? That's what's happening, right? Okay, give it a try.

[Caller 1]

@Mintmobile.Com Switch upfront payment of $45 for three month plan. $15 per month equivalent required. New customer offer first three months only. Then full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra.

[Mike]

See mintmobile.com do you feel that there's a difference between girlfriend annoying and this isn't going to work annoying?

[Pat]

Oh, damn, that's a big difference.

[Mike]

There's a big difference because girlfriend annoying is like, we can just name a few things.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

I would say like the little attitude they might have, but it's not like, it's not like over the edge and stuff like that will be one for you.

[Pat]

Girlfriend annoying is she's texting you 15 times during the day.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

What you doing? What you doing? What you doing?

[Mike]

Doing.

[Pat]

You know what I mean?

[Mike]

Or repeat stories.

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not gonna work. Type of knowing. It's more like she texting. What you doing? What you doing? What you doing? But it's to your homies. All right. Yeah, that ain't gonna fly, baby girl. I think also group chat. Say you, you put us all in the group chat. I'll get that.

[Mike]

I think there's other ones. Like you're like, you start getting resentment for the person you're with.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

And I think, or not trying to actually solve issues. And I think a lot of dudes, like in the beginning of their, like the, their courting stages of the people they're talking to, they don't know the difference between, like the annoying. Sometimes I feel like some dudes think they're never gonna have anybody annoying in their, in their life. Like nothing they do, it needs to be perfect.

[Pat]

But it also comes from like a holistic thing. Because if you think like that, if you can't get through your girlfriend being annoying and realize you still want to be with that person. Then that means that you give up on everything.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

You know what I mean? It's like that meme where the dude is digging dirt. It is like when you give up and then he right next to the diamonds on the other side of the dirt, but he stopped digging and shit like that. That makes me think that you give up on everything. Only solely. Like if I'm at a bar and a dude talking like, man, I had to leave my girls. Like, why, man? She was annoying as hell. Oh, damn, bro, what she do, bro? Every time I had a doctor's appointment, she on a nigga ass. That sounds like accountability, bro.

[Mike]

I text her all day and then she keep. She asked me where was I. Like I'm not cheating though.

[Pat]

Not cheating, bro. I'm not, I'm not. Just cuz I'm hanging with girls don't mean I'm having sex with them. And you don't need to be with me every time I get a section. Like, bro, sometimes just want a section. I got friends as girls. I, I understand you pregnant, but listen, that's crazy. The baby don't come out for nine months. Like you gotta let me get it in. No, that's how some think for real. Like and, but also some women don't take accountability that they're being annoying.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And that's usually where the fight starts with me is I know you're gonna be annoying. Two humans that are trying to be around each other probably too much.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

In reality, every relationship you're around your partner too much. I don't care what anybody says, it's gonna be true for anybody. Even if you know it, you're still gonna be around your partner too much and you start annoying each other. But you got to take accountability after the. Okay, so if I was annoying to you from 4:30 to 5:30pm and I was truly annoying, I should also know that and own up to it. And if I own up to it, it lessens the blow a little bit. Yeah, but if your partner is annoying and then like later on you just like, yeah, you was being a little annoying earlier. How was I being annoying? Is like, no, no, no, no, no. We're not going to pretend you wasn't being annoying. It's okay to be annoying, but sometimes.

[Mike]

People don't know you're being annoying. Now I know I can be annoying.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

But I also know that I'm. There's certain situations I'm not trying to be annoying.

[Pat]

Yeah. Because I feel like of course I Feel like I'm.

[Mike]

There's certain times I'm trying to be annoying. Like I am being annoying. Like. But sometimes I feel like I have. I think my nonchalantness sometimes gets us. That's what got me in trouble a lot. It's just like sometimes I look like I don't care, but you start to learn that that's just my face and that's just my reaction to. Yeah, to everything.

[Pat]

I used to do immature shit in relationships. Like, you know that chance to rap song. You don't want no problem. No problems with me. Like if I knew my girlfriend was annoyed at me, then that's what song I would play. Loud Alexa or Echo or some show or a speaker. You don't want no problems. 1 no problem on me. You don't. You don't want no problem. Like what the you playing? It's just. I like Chance the Rapper. Yeah, come on, man.

[Mike]

But sometimes, sometimes people be like, oh my girl. All she does is nags and like that. But I think because we're guys, we don't ever. We don't often investigate further into our friends allegations against their spouses.

[Pat]

Yes.

[Mike]

And I think as guys, fellas, we need to start asking what does she do that's annoying? Or what does she do that she's nagging about?

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

But like, like you said, half the time is not taking out the trash, you leaving your clothes everywhere or something like that. It just like very simple stuff because I think we got to be more. What's the word I'm looking for? We got to take more responsibility for our friends actions as well. We got to be more accountable, hold our friends more accountable.

[Pat]

That's the problem. And I know y' all gonna get on here and talk about y' all pandering women.

[Mike]

I don't. I think women too, they should do the same thing.

[Pat]

The same thing. But we're talking to a men's perspective because we're two men. And then also y' all gotta stop talking about we pandering to women. Like it's. It's 65 to 35. So it's majority of our men that are listening to his advice. Listen little. We talking to you like we don't give a what they think what we talk about in this situation. We not trying to do it for their liking. We trying to tell you what has worked for us in the past, little dog. Because y' all be 30 plus year olds calling in some of y' all is callers.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And y' all be talking about and Hoes and like that. If you still think like that, brother, you got a long way.

[Mike]

Try to make y' all better dudes, man.

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mike]

And we're not. I'm not saying we're. Again, we're not perfect.

[Pat]

I'm the perfect.

[Mike]

No, I'm not perfect. They gonna be mad at you.

[Pat]

How much?

[Mike]

Yeah, I'm not perfect. So this is just, like, stuff we've seen that worked for us and didn't work for us for sure.

[Pat]

That's what man. We just.

[Mike]

It'll get you a lot further in life. But anyway, that was a long intro. Welcome to Crashes. I mean, we just got all the women listeners to try to get that, sir.

[Pat]

It worked. Y'.

[Mike]

All.

[Pat]

Ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies. Welcome, welcome. First of all, first of all, first of all, happy, happy international women's decade.

[Mike]

Welcome to crash dummies, episode 225. We got. I'm here. Pat's here.

[Pat]

I'm here.

[Mike]

Merch is restocked, so. And it's on hand, so it'll deliver right away. Later in the episode, it'll be Gene and he. They'll arrive at some point. So when you start hearing every breathing in the background, that is key. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

[Pat]

That's crazy. That's a crazy stray.

[Mike]

I know. That was. This is like a. I take it back. I take it back.

[Pat]

I just test to see if Key watches the podcast. If you watch a podcast, please call Mike a ass in his dm.

[Mike]

Yeah. Nah, people are gonna tell him to do that in the comments. Don't nobody tell him to do that. I want to see if he actually watches.

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah, don't help him out. He'll see it. Maybe he always skipped the intro. Yeah, he just don't with intro.

[Mike]

Well, make sure you guys subscribe to Patreon. We dropped an episode last week there. We dropped the vlogs there. We dropped all extra content. Seriously, we joke a lot on this pod, but we do appreciate all the Patreon listeners, y' all real ones.

[Pat]

I know y' all want to hear me say it. I appreciate you. I honestly do appreciate. Especially the Patreon listeners. I will say 99.5% of them act normal when we invite them to, like, different things. So, like, we play games, like, among us. We play 2K together. Like, we got a little community going in the discord. And 99.5% of y' all act regular. I want to tell y' all about, like, three or four y'.

[Mike]

All.

[Pat]

It's just like. Just stop turning Y' all mic on, bro. Like, matter of fact, take your $7 back, bro. Y' all four know who y' all is.

[Mike]

Our discord got hacked for a little bit when we're doing like, a. A group chat or something. We're just trying to, you know, talk to the community and, like, that everybody had their cameras and. And then all. All of a sudden, it was a Swatika dude jacking off and loud screeching noises and playing on the video, bro.

[Pat]

No, was some other racist.

[Mike]

It was so racist.

[Pat]

It's some racist. We can't even describe if you was there. You know? Now that. That is terrible. Oh, yeah. Marty just sent me a tweet of the week. I gotta get this off.

[Mike]

Oh, we starting early with it.

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah. Somebody said this is a message to all women. All women who date hood niggas.

[Mike]

All right?

[Pat]

Stop wearing your man hoodie outside. We almost popped you last week.

[Mike]

Oh, my gosh.

[Pat]

No, that's actually crazy. Like, if I knew somebody was, like, in beef, like, I had a cousin, he was like, I would never borrow any of his clothing. Like, I am good, bro. You think people know.

[Mike]

If people that beef with people know their clothing, that's, like, really, like, market. That's a lot of research right there.

[Pat]

But you got to think, like, what did he have on the night he slid on them? You know what I mean? Like, let's say he shot them in the red Balenciaga hoodie. I'm not wearing. Hey, I'm good. Yeah, I'm good, brother. He keeps trying to sell this hoodie for $20.

[Mike]

It's interesting, too, with. With some people that are in the streets, right, that they obviously know who, like, committed the crime, and they won't say anything because they rather get themselves. Yeah. Get their get back themselves. I just always wonder, how much longer could I do? I would probably give myself, like, two days to get my get back. And if I can't get my get back, I'm telling the police.

[Pat]

No, that's weird.

[Mike]

You got at least try because you.

[Pat]

No, you can't have step, bro. No, that's how you really get hurt. Half stepping.

[Mike]

Half stepping?

[Pat]

Yeah. Oh, that's half stepping, bro.

[Mike]

I'm just saying, as a civilian right.

[Pat]

Now, that means you ain't got no real killer instinct if after 48 hours, you kind of give up.

[Mike]

Like, because I think after 48 hours, God forbid, right? Was something. Somebody that I care about, somebody, but I knew the person who did it. I don't know what I would do personally, but if I had the opportunity and saw them on the street. Could I handle it myself? But then after 48 hours, every. Your sense, your common sense probably starts to kick in a little bit.

[Pat]

I don't even want to know what. I don't even want to try to imagine what I would do.

[Mike]

No, I know.

[Pat]

You know what I mean?

[Mike]

That's why when I said it, though, when I said I've never really thought about it that way, but when I said it, I was like, I don't know what I would do.

[Pat]

It's so weird because, like, part of you wants to believe that, like, if something happened to one of your family members. I feel like everybody goes through the same imagination. That doesn't really spin shit.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

It's just like you imagine yourself throwing away your cell phone, going to buy a burner phone, getting a legal rent rental, driving back to the city, killing them.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Making sure you got your alibi right.

[Mike]

They just think they turn into John Wig.

[Pat]

Think they gonna be dropping puzzle pieces on their Facebook story. And they keep saying the number five. That's cause he killed five, bro. That's why he posted that picture of KG Celtics jersey, bro.

[Mike]

Oh, my God.

[Pat]

Gotta think, bro. A demon. I really spin.

[Mike]

Oh, man.

[Pat]

On gta.

[Mike]

I feel like some people also like to pump other people's street cred up. Yeah. Like, do you just like the way you're just describing? Right. There's people on the Internet. They'll be like, nah, he really. No, he really like that.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Like, I shouldn't have to tell somebody else that they really like that. Somebody else is really like that.

[Pat]

That's also. I don't always, like, put that towards. They want to big up their street cred. I just think people take pride in knowing information.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

You know, especially. Okay, let's say there's a documentary out about a rapper killing such and such. Right. And on the streets, they know the truth. And the truth is the rapper didn't kill him. Somebody else did. That person that knows that information can't wait to be in an argument. Like, yeah, such and such spin. No, he didn't. Y' all know. Y' all don't be in the streets for real. Like, they feel like that make them more street when they got more information. It's just like, nah, you was just at the barbershop at the time. But the real. Just talking about.

[Mike]

I guess also that could be also a warning to somebody too, because I guess I take my own. I'm arguing my own statement right away. But there are situations where some people be like, I've seen these situations too, where it's like somebody's beefing with somebody, but you know, both parties, right. And you know one person, how they, how far they're willing to take it and how far the other person's willing to take it. Yeah. So you might have something I have to warn. That person is like, hey, he really, he really liked that. Like if you're trying to go there, just know where it's about to go.

[Pat]

If you know. So that's why, like just growing up in like different places, like growing up in the hood or whatever, I knew somebody personally that like, if they get into it with somebody, they're shooting. Yes, right.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And then like, okay, if you around that person, he's around a lot of other people that won't take it as far as him. But if you move around like I did as a kid and like go to Charlotte, go like to wherever I was going, you know, Cali, whatever. And I know another person from another hood that'll do the same thing. Now I can imagine if these two dudes met, you know what I mean?

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

They would kill each other. And then it gives you like a, a real sense of like, there's somebody like that from every hood, every gang is somebody in that group that will do anything that really get down like that. And then once you realize there's two, three people, four people, five people in the same man, you'd be like, hey. Then you realize you're not like that money, like it's time for you to get out the game.

[Mike]

Like that's why sometimes the whole like where you're from makes you tougher than another person.

[Pat]

Yeah, that, that don't mean nothing.

[Mike]

I think.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

It's so close minded because again, every body has a hood in every state. Every state, every country, there's a hood in every country.

[Pat]

Yes.

[Mike]

And I think sometimes they let the like, you know, like as funny it is sometimes when the people in the uk they don't seem as dangerous because how they talk. How they talk. Yeah, right. But they still get down over there in their own ways. Obviously they don't have as many guns over there, but still they have their ways. Hand to hand combat. Niggas is getting knife. They like, I ain't gonna lie.

[Pat]

I'm not saying like, you know, I'm always going back my American people, blah, blah. But I will say there has to be a big difference because I could go find an illegal gun, drive by my arch enemy's place and Then let it rip and then hope I hit some shit if I don't. But in the uk, like, you got to go stab somebody, like, close up.

[Mike]

In person, quarter contact.

[Pat]

There's like. I mean, you can surprise them for a little bit, but anybody knows, like, if you ever seen anybody get stabbed on camera or whatever, you know, like, stabs aren't just like one hit fatal type thing. Like, you got to keep stabbing. Like, you're damn near the person's still going to have somewhat full strength.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Like, while you're stabbing them, and they're going to have a chance to take the knife from you. And it's like, now what would you do? You know what I'm saying?

[Mike]

They said they out there with machetes and no machetes.

[Pat]

I seen a dude get jumped with a bunch of machetes. I like, that has to be the worst jumping ever.

[Mike]

Yeah, I saw that, too. I saw another video, dude getting jumped with machetes. And it was. It was actually in Nigeria. And they weren't even like, using the machete. They were slapping him with the flat side of the machete is. I think that's like the equivalent of getting pistol whipped.

[Pat]

The machete whip was spanking and spanking.

[Mike]

Just a flash side. I didn't cut him up. He was all right after. Like, he's obviously a little bit beat up.

[Pat]

But now y' all gota y got to kill me, bro.

[Mike]

You're not going to slap a machete.

[Pat]

N, bro. Y not. Y' all not spanking me, bro. Spank him, bro. Spank his ass, bro.

[Mike]

Did you see so NBA and the United center announces bag policy for his Chicago show. No bags allowed, including clear ones.

[Pat]

And I know yb, right?

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

You said his name fast as hell.

[Mike]

What'd I say?

[Pat]

I don't think you said anything.

[Caller 2]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Sometimes I like, roll over my words.

[Pat]

Okay.

[Mike]

But that is. It's funny because we've talked about the YB concerts, right? And I. The more and more footage I see from it, I would not like, why be great artists, right? I personally would never go through this.

[Pat]

Concept and ain't it.

[Mike]

I saw. Look, I saw a clip, right? Of people, you know, they had like the floor seatings, right?

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

On the floor. And they had other seat. People were just jumping over the fence, like the regular seats and just taking people's seats in the front row, like first come, first serve type of thing. Yeah. And I was wondering, like, what happens if I'm there, right? And I get to my seat and there's like 10 kids. Well, one kid in my seat, obviously, but he's with a group of like 10 people.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Am I telling him to get the fuck up? Yes, I'm telling him to get the fuck up. But he's also like, not have to fight at a YB concert. And I probably gonna look like unk compared to the people that are there. So they're already gonna know that whatever's happening, we're gonna jump. The person is losing already.

[Pat]

But it's just like. It's just like fighting on an airplane.

[Mike]

Yeah, Right.

[Pat]

No matter what you do, once you throw a punch, if you was in a wrong or right.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

You're done with that concert, you're done with that flight.

[Mike]

You're done.

[Pat]

So it just like. It's just like a lose, lose situation. Like, even if I want. And I feel like, no, y' all can't hold me, y' all can't take my seat. Not even putting yourself in a position to either get jumped. Let's say you win. You still leaving.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

You know what I mean? So now you can't even see the concert and stuff like that. That's probably like one of a few times I snitch like, all right.

[Mike]

Usher. But the Usher. The thing about these concert ushers or whatever they're called now, the little. The people that beat the yellow vest.

[Pat]

The security.

[Mike]

The security. Yeah. But concert security, they terrible.

[Pat]

Somebody is fucked. Somebody always getting on stage one. And then what I started to realize because I've been seeing. I've been, you know, I'll be on Tick Tock going through foxholes and. Yeah, and for some reason, I was looking up when security guards love the artist too.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And it's like the artist on stage and then the security guard that literally looked like they just got the job so they can get front row tickets to a Beyonce concert. And they know every word and it's just like, all right. Like, okay, of course you knew some of those Beyonce songs. But she deep in her bag of her new album and you know it word for word. Okay, you a fan, and you literally got this job just to be security. So no wonder you ain't see the hop on stage, right? Talking about some one plus one.

[Mike]

And a lot of them don't even be, like, really. A lot of them don't really be security. It's just like a presence to like, maybe stop you from doing a certain thing.

[Pat]

Oh, we know that for sure because when we had the. When we hosted the little Uzi concert. Yes, the security guards There, bro. It was like, okay. I will say they did surprise me a couple times because they stopped me a couple times. Even though they knew who I was, they still said, hey, we know who you is, but we don't know.

[Mike]

We still need to see a wristband.

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah. Still need to see a wristband. So I will commend them for that. But once the concert started, because somebody actually did get on stage and touch Lil Uzi. Lil Uzi played it off cool. You don't remember.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Pat]

Lil Uzi played it off cool. But, like, I knew those security guards weren't because they kept looking at all the girls that was around there. I seen one of them. He was talking to the girl.

[Mike]

Yeah. While we're up there hosting the security guard, somebody handed the security guard like a. A business card to give to us. The read out loud. I'm like, why would you hand us this business card?

[Pat]

Yeah. He was like, yeah. Dude said, I don't even know if he was part of the event. Weak ass barbecue.

[Mike]

And we did get to. They also allowed us to sneak somebody on stage too.

[Pat]

Oh, yeah, yeah. They allowed us, right? We got Big Frank on stage. Big Frank performed in that. They was mad as hell. They came. They came all the way to. Back to. He said, did you guys know he was performing? I said, man, it's on the list. And I showed him my notes app and I just put Big Frank on there. It's on the list, bro. We're told, catch up, bro. You're way behind.

[Mike]

We are taking a quick break to thank today's sponsor, Seatgeek.

[Pat]

Hey, man. We want to give Seatgeek a shout out. With over 35 million downloads, Seatgeek is the number one rated ticking app. There are more than 70,000 events listed on Seatgeek Week, including concerts, sports, festivals, and more. Anything you can think of, really. The NFL is back, MLB playoffs are almost here, and the NBA is starting up soon. So let's get ready here.

[Mike]

Tiki has your back. Each ticket is rated on a scale from 1 to 10, so you know you're getting a good deal. So look for the green dots. Green means good, red means badass. I feel like that should always be a thing that people know. Plus, every ticket is backed by their buyer guarantee.

[Pat]

Okay? Okay. And of course, we have a code for you guys. You can use code dummies10 for 10 off your next set of tickets at SeatGeek. That's 10 off any tickets with promo code dummies10. Make sure you click the link in the description to download the app and have the code automatically added to your account so you can use it later. Appreciate you seatgeek. Now back to the pod. Let's take a quick break from today's episode and thank the sponsor of today's podcast. Earning. They say time waits for no one and neither should Payday. To keep your money moving in the direction of your dreams, get earning. Earning is an app that lets you access your pay as you earn it up to $150 a day with a max of $750 between paydays. Come on now.

[Mike]

Just download the earning app and add your info. Then start accessing your pay as you work and leave an optional tip to help the app running for everyone. Any money you access plus tips are automatically repaid from your next paycheck. Earning is an app that's helping millions of Americans charge their pay and avoid falling to debt traps earnings mission is to make financial momentum accessible to everyone. It's your money. Put it in your hands with earning. Make earning a part of your financial routine and join. Earn is over 4 million customers making any day payday. Download Earning today spelled E, A R, N I N in the Google Play or Apple Store. When you download Earning, type in Crash Dummies under Podcast when you sign up. It really helps the show. That's Crash Dummies under Podcast. Earn is a financial technology company, not a bank. Access limits are based on your earnings and risk factors. Standard cash outs take one to two business days with no mandatory fees. Expedited transfers available for a fee. Tips are voluntary and do not affect the service available in select states. Terms and restrictions apply. Visit Earnin.com for full details. Download Earning now and take control of your pay. Now back to the pod. Oh, man. What else we got? Oh, Dame Dash.

[Pat]

Oh, the Dame Dash interview. I can't believe we didn't talk about it yet. Wendy Williams is your og.

[Mike]

Mike, when I heard that, that was funny.

[Pat]

That's actually funny.

[Mike]

That is funny.

[Pat]

It's funny. It's not like if. Honestly, if I would have heard that in another context, I wouldn't even flinch at it. Just be like, oh, Wendy Williams put charlamagne on. Which I don't know if it's like, overall true. Yeah, I don't know if it's true or not, but whatever, it's true.

[Mike]

He says it's true.

[Pat]

Okay. Yeah, but it's nothing though. It's Wendy Williams. She icon. She's been around tv. Regardless of what you think about her, she was popular and she Had a show.

[Mike]

Yeah. So.

[Pat]

But the way he said is like, Wendy Williams is your og. But it was like because of what he said it as. Because he was like. He kept accusing Charlamagne of being a homosexual man. Yeah, we like. Yeah. And Wendy Williams. Oh, gee.

[Mike]

Because he said this. You see that guy right there? That's like my og. The big bald dude back there.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

He's like, oh gee, Dame.

[Pat]

Dame is just like, like that argument. Dame would have won that argument five years ago.

[Mike]

Yes.

[Pat]

But like how the world has progressed and like the way people say that's gay and like accusing another man of being hom. Homosexual. That's not the wave, you know what I mean? And I feel like he could have attacked in different ways instead of harping on that because I feel like he had a lot other insults that he could have just like kept hammering in. But he kept going back to the homosexual gay thing. Some of it was funny. Some of it was just like borderline, like it's a little bit homophobic. The way you said it, I think.

[Mike]

Too is like when you again when you talking about stuff like that, especially when you're like dead ass serious. Like you're not even like giggling nothing. There's no, there's no comedic timing to it because Damien, obviously he's not a comedian. So it really, it really seems like you really think this and you really. It really hurting your soul that he's this way.

[Pat]

Yes.

[Mike]

I just didn't. The part I didn't really like. I hate when people try to do the. The I'll beat you up type of like personally just going back based on age and just the way Dame in way. Type of shape that Dame's in. I. I don't think he's beating up Charlemagne.

[Pat]

Even, even if he does, even if he does, it's not by a wide margin to where he will be able to talk shit after. Like a lot of people think that they would beat somebody else up in a fight. And I just want you to know, like, even if you can beat that person up in a fight, you think you're gonna leave unscathed.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Like, is it gonna be worth it? Let's say you land nine punches and the other person only lands four, you still got punched four fucking times. And Dame's not gonna wash Charlemagne. So like in a sense of like, so what's the point? So what does that prove after that? So like if you could go to Charlemagne, both fight and Dane goes. I landed 11 punches to your three. What's up? Yeah, what now? What happens? You gonna do it again? I bet you don't fight again because you still gotta get punched three more times.

[Mike]

I also hate the fighting arguments in places of business.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Like, you're there doing an interview and you're saying you would like. Because they're obviously was talking about Charlamagne running away from a fight.

[Pat]

Yes.

[Mike]

And that. That wasn't a fight. Somebody snuck him and then he got up and didn't see who was hitting him and he ran. That's probably the smart thing for him to do, especially with the people that were trying to get his ass. And so that led Dane to be like, if I got hit this and that, it's just the tough guy talk. When in places where, you know, first of all, we're in a position right now that a fight could not break out. You got security with you. We got security here. Nothing's happening like that. So why talk that way to me?

[Pat]

To me. Because I. I had it even, like, if I look at as battle rap, I'm looking at two, one, either way.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Pat]

In that battle between. Because I really didn't count Envy in that battle because he was kind of in and out. It was Charlemagne versus Dan to me.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

It's a preference battle. Like, I feel like if you old school and you watch that outside, like, a lot of people didn't like Dame going into it. So it was kind of like he was already at a fault and like. But if you go into it, like, Dame did make some points about, like, certain things. Like, about being a boss and like, he was trying to. You know, I hate when people use bankruptcy. People try to say people are broke because they went bankrupt. And then they look at like, the president of the United States and just be like, okay, he went bankrupt. A lot of people don't know about, like, business side, which Dane made great points. But Dame's biggest mistake is being a very confident liar.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

So, like, I don't care what anybody says. Like, let's say I was just naming out a bunch of my football stats, but I was sounding unsure the whole time, and I gave myself 50 more tackles than I did. Like, that kind of sound like a mistake. But he did lie. Blah, blah. When you say, hey, so you think such and such is such and such. Well, it's such and such. And you say it with conviction like that. And then somebody gets on the Internet and finds out it's a lie. Now, like, the whole interview is just like, yeah, like, bro. Like, I don't know, bro. It's hard to believe any of this. Like you're throwing out words like a hundred million dollars. And I want to believe you because it sound convincing and sound like something I could look up. And then you say you chairman of. Of the. What do you say he was chairman of Revolt.

[Mike]

Revolt.

[Pat]

And then everybody's coming out and saying that you're not.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And it's just like somebody with that's in the company said that you're not. And it's just like. And it's a bunch of confusions with the words. And it's just like. Yeah, but that was weird too, because I saw Yahoo posted that he is.

[Mike]

No, he's not.

[Pat]

So he's not.

[Mike]

No, because the thing that happened was it was. I think it was like Vibe magazine or something.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

That made the article. But they never even talked to anybody at Revolt. They talked to Dame's team. So it was just. It was basically just Dame's team saying or Dame himself saying that he was a chairman. They wrote it as a. As a story.

[Pat]

You know, that makes sense because obviously we ran into something with Vibe magazine. I feel like Vibe magazine was the first major magazine that posted about the T Pain Drake thing on our podcast. And just the way they wrote about it, I wasn't really fudgeing with. You know what I mean? It just like nobody called us for a call either. Yeah, nobody called us and asked us like, what did he mean by that? That. Did y' all cut anything out? Was that the whole conversation? How did the conversation come about? Nothing. And obviously I feel like that was taken out of context. I feel like T Pain think it was taken out of context. And for somebody that, you know, he was doing us a favor, you know, and it's just like D, I got, you know, I'm on my guy's podcast and stuff like that. Who would have known something that he was gonna say was gonna get clipped and then put him in a beef the next day while he on tour? Like you think he wanted that, but I think that's weird by those magazines and just like getting a taste of that. Yeah, it's like, it's kind of crazy.

[Mike]

Like that interview. There was a lot of quotables in that. That interview. I guess like you said, the Dame dash did make some like, some points. I do think Charlamagne, but I think he did that on purpose. Especially like the, the very pause worthy things he would say sometimes. Right?

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

And. But I feel like Charlamagne's always been that Charlamagne said some wild though, like Some wild.

[Pat]

He said.

[Mike]

Who said that he was sucked apart. He sells somebody who like sucked the farts out of like, like their butt or something like that.

[Pat]

Is it Cardi B?

[Mike]

It wasn't Cardi. I don't think Cardi B. That was. This is like a rough skin. Charlemagne.

[Pat]

Oh, no, no, no.

[Mike]

He says some stuff, some wild, but also like. It was like the era as well. Yeah, that's the. That's the crazy. I'm not even saying that era was right, but it's just a hype of that people said was so much. It was so crazy that that would not.

[Pat]

I mean, I feel like he started that stuff. I don't know. Obviously Charlemagne to me started the. I'm gonna interview you. Seriously. And I might ask if you have A's in the middle of this.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Out of nowhere.

[Mike]

You know what I mean?

[Pat]

And it's just like. Wait, what? Oh, that's who it was. I don't know why the. What the. Yeah, why was Danny Green ever on a Breakfast Club?

[Mike]

What?

[Pat]

Danny Green, the basketball player? He was on the Breakfast Club?

[Mike]

Yeah, he was.

[Pat]

I don't know if it's at that. Maybe that was after one of the championships for the spurs or something. It had to be. And he was on there and Charlemagne asked him if Tim Duncan was bisexual and.

[Mike]

Yeah, it was so random.

[Pat]

Like, what the fuck are you talking about?

[Mike]

Dame dad said he like, if you call another man your boss, you're a slave.

[Pat]

No, that's real though. No, I fudge with you, Dave. I ain't got no boss, bro. All partners. No, I feel it.

[Mike]

Yeah. They call him Depth Dash. Depp.

[Pat]

Depp Dash. That was fire.

[Mike]

That was good. That was a good one.

[Pat]

That was fire. Because that's a. That's the joke to me. It's battle rap. You say what's already known and then you flip it into more. So I. With that.

[Mike]

Yeah, I feel it.

[Pat]

Let's get to Dub Dash and Depth Jam.

[Mike]

The Depth Jam. It was something like that.

[Pat]

It was both.

[Mike]

It was.

[Pat]

He called him a bald headed girl with a mustache.

[Mike]

Oh, we didn't do Twitter. The week's. I was about to go to listener callers.

[Pat]

All right, all right, all right. I only tweeted. I feel like tweet of the week getting oversaturated. Everybody think they funny and shit. I got to peel back a little bit. So we get an exclusive. Exclusive. This is actually sent by Mike earlier this week.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Pat]

This is a tweet from Ricky Vice. I don't remember which one I Said, okay, okay. It says, I pulled out a banana at work for a little snack. My co worker looked at me and said, oh, it's banana time. Then proceeded to pull out a banana on his own and try to toast bananas with me. I wanted to kill this nigga. Oh, it's banana time. And to toast the bananas.

[Mike]

Toasting bananas is so wild. No, Dame Dash was not like that.

[Pat]

I don't care what that person that's like. That's like very. I think that classifies as pansexual.

[Mike]

What does that mean?

[Pat]

I don't know. Like, toasted fruit is like, I believe you will. Anything you are trying to. Fucking toasting fruit is so crazy because it's so like. Especially a banana. Unless he says, but is it with the pill on or with the pillow?

[Mike]

I wouldn't want to toast anything at work lunch. Like, don't. I don't want to toast Sprite Zeros. Like, I don't. Don't toast me. We're at work.

[Pat]

You don't have you. Do you toast regularly?

[Mike]

I toast like wine and stuff like that. But I'd be like, at. At events, they're telling us to toast.

[Pat]

Do you initially. Have you ever initiated a toast?

[Mike]

No. Damn, no.

[Pat]

That's so unmade character. I initiate, like probably like over 50 toasts in my life.

[Mike]

I think I've glasses toast. Yeah.

[Pat]

I'd be like, yo, yo, yo, yo, let's get in here, let's get in here. Let's get a toast. New life, you. I swear to God, you can say any thing when you do a toast, bro. I be saying, I'll be saying some. I'd be like, let's get a toast in here. More life, more gold, more diamonds. Like, yeah, bro. Hey, man, y' all better buy that gold before November, bro. Market about the crash.

[Mike]

Our people with long post speeches. And I hate it because it'd be like regular. Like, this is just a guy's night out. Why are we. Why are you telling us how much we mean to you? Obviously guys should do that more, right? But not a five minute speech about each person what they mean to you.

[Pat]

Like, bro. Hey, Jeff, Jeff, Jeff. I want you to know that through it all, man, I seen you was strong when your girl cheated on you. You ain't let that face you when you found out it was me. You ain't let that phase you when you find out your baby was mine. You ain't let that phase you. I need you out by five, bro. I'm moving in. Let's get a Toast up. Hey, what the. This.

[Mike]

Let's do a toes. Let's do a toes. Hey, Randy, you're not supposed to be drinking, bro. You're on probation, bro. No. No alcohol. Don't. Don't say it's me just like, bro.

[Pat]

Hey, let's get a toes for Johnny being crack free for 30 days, man. Supposed to tell anybody, bro. Hey, man, celebrate your W's, bro.

[Mike]

Oh, man. Anyway, let's get to some listener calls, and then you'll see Gene in his outfit.

[Pat]

No, that's so. That's so cool.

[Mike]

That's two straights. I have to do that.

[Pat]

He diss Gene and Key, so that means I get two of them, too. Let me. What. What do Gene got on?

[Mike]

He had the little thing.

[Pat]

Oh, yeah.

[Mike]

Little sock on his head.

[Pat]

Oh, yeah. Gene got a cum sock on his head. Oh, what's a clever joke for Keith? Keith's fat.

[Mike]

Oh, my gosh.

[Pat]

I just left. I just played.

[Mike]

Hey, Keith, you see this? Anyway, let us know.

[Pat]

No, you supposed to be seeing this shit, bro. You not talking about shit. Say something. Keith would say, hurry up so you can see it.

[Mike]

Oh, y' all ain't. Y' all ain't talk about Richard Jefferson.

[Pat]

Oh, yeah, he the Kiwi calling random players.

[Mike]

He'd be like, random players and he merges white people. Yeah, yeah. He'll be like, Brad. Brad Cage. Yeah, yeah. Like Nicholas Cage and Brad Pitt. You'd be like Bradley Cooper. Like, no, that's it.

[Pat]

Like, you ain't talking about qb Lamar Allen. Yeah.

[Mike]

What the.

[Pat]

Who the is Lamar Allen?

[Mike]

He'd be like, you ain't talking about Cuban. Cuban Junior Goodell.

[Pat]

Yeah. He'd be like, you ain't talking about. You ain't talking about Key.

[Mike]

All right.

[Caller 1]

Hello?

[Mike]

Hello. Hello?

[Pat]

Yo.

[Caller 1]

Can you hear me?

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Welcome to Crashing Me's podcast.

[Caller 1]

Thank you. It's a pleasure. Before I start, I do want to say I just became a Patreon member and I love it.

[Mike]

So thank you. Thank you.

[Pat]

Good promo right there. That's. Come on.

[Mike]

That's one way the dirty is. You make the yes.

[Pat]

If you say no, you. You are a little commercial. What else you got to say about the picture?

[Caller 1]

Anytime. I mean, the extra episodes, the videos. 10 out of 10 clocked.

[Mike]

Facts, facts, facts.

[Pat]

Clock.

[Mike]

We got a question for you. What's a PSA that you have?

[Caller 1]

So my psa, I think if you're asking for a short term. Short term relationship past the age of 30 is childish, and I think you need to grow up.

[Pat]

Damn this is crazy how this lined up right now. Right. We just got off the phone with a 30 year old who said he's 30 and he was arguing with us. One of the arguments, he said, why y' all hating? I'm getting why.

[Caller 1]

What's the point? Like, sure. What does that even mean? Are you like, what's the other thing? Scheduling to break up with me.

[Mike]

He said he, he's not, he don't like pregnant. Oh, I said pregnant. Not, not women. He didn't say woman. He said with kids.

[Caller 1]

Yeah.

[Mike]

But anyway, back to your thing. Who, who in general wants to get into a short term relationship like that? Are people approaching?

[Caller 1]

Yeah, like that. Yeah, people are. I'm on apps, I'm meeting people outside and people are like requesting short term relationships, which means nothing. Like, how do you schedule a breakup with me?

[Pat]

Like doing that?

[Mike]

Like a contract.

[Pat]

Yeah, listen, listen.

[Caller 1]

Right.

[Pat]

We're going to do six months and we'll see if we can renew in November and see how that.

[Caller 1]

Right.

[Pat]

How are they approaching you though? What's the conversation like? Because I've never heard this conversation before. I heard people lie.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And like say they want long term and do something short term. But you saying people are like just saying that they want something short. Transparent. Yeah. How does it.

[Caller 1]

Yeah. Or they're trying to like figure it out. It's both of those options. And I'm like, I think I'm a great person. So I'm like, what if you fall in love with me and then like our contract is done, like you just move on to the next, you know, I don't know.

[Pat]

But. Okay, so like, what's your personality? Like what? You said people to fall in love.

[Caller 1]

So I'm definitely a people pleaser. I love to cook for people and just like be there for people. I think that I'm really great conversation starter. I think I'm a real baddie, honestly. So I'm surprised that, you know, short term relationships are just like not, not a thing.

[Caller 2]

Like, I, I don't know that same.

[Key]

Like short term vibes, though.

[Pat]

I. I don't think so.

[Caller 1]

Is that you? What would be a long term vibe? What would be a long term vibe?

[Key]

Not being a people pleaser. You can't be a people pleaser. Being in a long term relationship. That's just not.

[Mike]

Elations are back, baby.

[Caller 1]

At least, at least not right away. I don't think that you should show off all your cards within like the first week of meeting someone. Definitely not.

[Key]

So what.

[Caller 1]

Because then like what's left what are you bringing.

[Key]

So what are you bringing to the table?

[Pat]

Oh my God.

[Key]

First, hold on.

[Pat]

Go ahead though.

[Key]

What are you bringing to the table? Like, why do you think guys just want you short term? What's driving them away?

[Caller 1]

I don't think guys just want me short term. I think it's based on their past relationships and maybe the lack of confidence that they have with me being in a relationship with them.

[Mike]

Because you mentioned that they might not just be sure, like trying to fill it out. And I think that's a very normal thing because you, especially when you're starting to date, you kind of want to fill it out. So what's like your fill out process then? Like what's like the. What's too long of a fill out.

[Caller 1]

For you for someone to feel like the relationship.

[Mike]

Yeah. Like to feel like they want to date you exclusively and want to build something with you? Like, what's like. Because every, every relationship starts off with like you're trying to get to know each other and stuff like that.

[Caller 1]

So I think probably like three months. Is that crazy?

[Caller 2]

No, it's me.

[Caller 1]

Am I the.

[Pat]

I just don't like. I just don't like people that talk about not, no offense to you, I just don't like people that talk about relationships like her because they, they talk about it as in they have this connection with a lot of people. People and it's just like a timing thing or something. And then some people like me where I'm like, it only can be one person and it's just like if it happens, it happens. It don't. You talking about like what you bring to the table, like, sometimes, like if somebody playing around, you feel like they playing around with you, then you already knew that wasn't the one. And it should be like easy for you and you shouldn't be offended because it's just like that wasn't never gonna happen in the first place.

[Caller 1]

I guess I just feel like people aren't showing off their, their cards or maybe they're just lying because I feel like I do have really great connections with people and then they just disappear.

[Pat]

She might be denial.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Because. Because I mean, I know on all these apps there's a lot of like filters, especially like on Tinder. There's like polyamorous, like options, long term shorts. There's a lot of like, just like, you know, to filter what you're looking for. And I think like this day and age, a lot of people want to be transparent about like short term relationships.

[Mike]

So maybe you should just change your settings.

[Pat]

You gotta. Yeah.

[Mike]

You gotta change your profile.

[Pat]

No, no, no, that's a good. That's good advice by Mike. Like you, I think.

[Caller 2]

Yeah.

[Pat]

By what you explained to us that you need to be more strict with your standards so you stop running into these people. Because if you say I only want a long term relationship and somebody click on your profile, they'd be like, man, no, but that's good for you. I feel like more people should go for more nose. I want you to look at my profile and be like, no. So you don't even come bother me and waste my time because it sounds like you're getting your time wasted because you too, you too versatile and you need to, you know, get a little.

[Caller 2]

Bit more strict and versatile is crazy.

[Key]

And it's hard to find love on app to apps too. Like you need to start going to do what you like to do out in public and you'll meet people like you.

[Pat]

How.

[Key]

You know she don't do that especially.

[Mike]

She has to be out.

[Caller 1]

But that is actually good advice.

[Key]

It sounds like she'd be out going to the bars. That.

[Mike]

Especially when.

[Caller 1]

I never said anything about bars, Keith.

[Key]

No, no, I said sound. I said sound.

[Mike]

Especially when you said you're a good conversationalist. There's guys love girls that are good conversationalists even if they don't want to be in a relationship with them.

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mike]

But that's sometimes just like some dudes just like good conversations and they might lie and say they want something more then. But it's just really good conversation.

[Pat]

Yeah, you might be. You might. You might be a hell of a vibe, you know what I'm saying? Until it's time for that long term relationship. You know about the fantasy team and I should start Jamar Gibbs.

[Mike]

You're right.

[Pat]

I love you, girl. Let's move in together. You're like, hell no.

[Caller 1]

It sounds like what I'm getting out of it. This is that maybe I'm a little bit too easy and I have to.

[Mike]

Be a little bit.

[Pat]

You're very easy. I think it might be a pace thing. Yeah, I think, you know, like if somebody's looking for a short term relationship, you're trying to probably move fast. She's looking for a slow burn, like long lasting, you know, find somebody at your pace.

[Mike]

Be real with yourself.

[Pat]

You try. You trying to really get to know somebody. I think you got to go more of like the, the vibes and stuff.

[Key]

And like be friendly.

[Pat]

No, like the friend thank you. That's what I'm.

[Key]

Become friends first.

[Caller 2]

Yes.

[Pat]

I. That's what. That's the route you need to take because you're really trying to get to know somebody in a relationship area. And I feel like that's way too much pressure. Just like, oh, yeah, it's only me and you, and I'm trying to get to know you deeply. And this will be forever. It's like, too much. Okay, six months, I'm out.

[Caller 2]

Okay. I'll humble.

[Caller 1]

I'll humble myself. Thank you. All right, I'll change my settings right now.

[Pat]

Yes.

[Mike]

What are your settings on right now?

[Caller 1]

Right now. It's crazy. His life partner.

[Mike]

What do you say?

[Caller 1]

Life partner?

[Key]

Oh, yeah. No, you can't get nowhere with that.

[Mike]

Ill. You have a good one.

[Pat]

All I gotta say is ill gives love eyes. I got three months for you.

[Caller 1]

Love y'.

[Caller 2]

All.

[Caller 1]

Bye.

[Pat]

I got a good four months for you.

[Mike]

It.

[Pat]

How's November sound to you, babe?

[Caller 2]

What's up, Yellow?

[Mike]

What?

[Caller 2]

Pat, can that.

[Mike]

All right, let's just get this started then. All right? What's a psa?

[Caller 2]

That you have psa. Stop calling your kid Junior if you don't know who they the Junior to. If you mess with one or two men he's got. He can't be the Junior of one or the other.

[Pat]

Have you experienced if you ain't for.

[Caller 2]

Sure who the daddy is, don't call his as a junior.

[Pat]

No, no, don't talk about no kids like that now.

[Key]

Probably talking about himself.

[Mike]

Oh, my bad.

[Pat]

Have you. Have you. Have you experienced this, or is this just like a PSA that you just came up with?

[Caller 2]

Kind of experience it Home rule. She messed around with a few dudes. She was trying to figure out who the baby daddy was. Stuck down with one guy named him Junior. Turns out that dude wasn't the dad and he built on them, too.

[Pat]

That's not funny.

[Mike]

Why is this bothering you so bad, though?

[Caller 2]

I don't know, man. There's just too many juniors out here in the world.

[Pat]

Wait, okay, is. Is that kid's name still Junior? Did they change his name?

[Caller 2]

Nah, it's still Junior.

[Pat]

Is that person. Is the dad still around or the person he's named after still around?

[Caller 2]

No, he walked out on them when he found out that he wasn't the daddy, he walked there out.

[Mike]

Oh, my God.

[Key]

How old is the kid now?

[Caller 2]

Two, I believe.

[Mike]

Who are these people to you again? I probably missed the first part.

[Caller 2]

Just the girl is just a homegirl.

[Mike]

It was a homie.

[Pat]

All right. I mean, I Don't know what to.

[Mike]

Say to this one.

[Pat]

Hey. Hopefully. Hey. That if he make it to the NBA draft, they're gonna have a hell of a story on their hands. Even though his name is Francisco Vargas Jr. That's not his dad, actually.

[Mike]

Did you. Did you ever confront her about this? Since it's your homie, did you talk to her about this?

[Caller 2]

Nah. Please stop talking. Before the. Before she got pregnant, was this a homie?

[Mike]

When you say homie, was this somebody you liked?

[Caller 2]

Nah, she was just a homegirl. She was dating another friend of mine. And out of my homie, the guy that they blamed, that was the baby daddy and two other guys. One killed my homie.

[Pat]

Because.

[Mike]

You. You blanked. You bleeped out at the wrong moment. Go ahead. One of them. What? Your hom.

[Caller 2]

Okay, okay. So one of the four that was thought to be the baby daddy was a homie of mine.

[Mike]

Yes.

[Caller 2]

We keeping up?

[Mike]

Yes.

[Caller 2]

Or do you guys need.

[Pat]

Bro, come on, Come on, tell him.

[Caller 2]

My bad.

[Pat]

Come on, ass. Let's go.

[Caller 2]

All right, so my homie was getting chased down by another one of the guys that was supposed to be believed to be the baby daddy because he thought that my homie was out to kill him. Make sense?

[Pat]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Mike]

But now he's telling like, we're in the freaking four person classroom.

[Caller 2]

Come on, bro.

[Pat]

Let's go, bro. Come on.

[Caller 2]

Turn and turns out this guy was bipolar. Whatever the that's called when they start hearing voices and that.

[Pat]

Schizophrenic. But come on, let's go.

[Caller 2]

Yeah, guy got thrown into jail.

[Pat]

Somebody died, right?

[Caller 2]

No, nobody.

[Mike]

Crazy. Did it sound like he said somebody died?

[Key]

Yeah, he said he killed him.

[Mike]

Oh, my God.

[Caller 2]

What's good?

[Mike]

What up?

[Pat]

What's the deal?

[Caller 2]

They're chilling like a villain. What's y' all on?

[Pat]

Doing better than that. I would never say no like that.

[Mike]

I got a question for you. What's a PSA that you have.

[Caller 2]

Psa, man, nobody want to play stepdad no more, man. All that. Like, females really be mad at you for not taking care of another child. Like. Like, that's the thing. Like, I don't understand it.

[Pat]

Okay, okay. Have you. Have you been in this situation?

[Caller 2]

Type.

[Mike]

Is very low. Go ahead, bro.

[Caller 2]

It's brief, though. Like, I was entertaining this chick, like, first week, she just. To the kids, like, damn. Like, I don't even know you like that.

[Pat]

No, I get that. I'm with you on that. That's real. You got it.

[Caller 2]

Like, that made me question. That made me question, like, damn, like, you ain't got like, you ain't got no boundaries. Like how many, how many do these kids know?

[Pat]

Like right? How many uncles these kids got? I'm sick of this. That's normal. Little showing me is his trophies. Like he do it all the time and this is my damn. It sound like you said this before, little man.

[Mike]

Did that mess up your like perception of her?

[Caller 2]

It did, cuz. Like damn bitch, like, like damn. A week.

[Mike]

How long did you stay with her after that then?

[Caller 2]

Not that long. Like I, I, I dashed a hidden dash like I was on some like, yeah, I made some type of bullshit excuse. I was on some like yeah, your kid's bad as and I was, I made an excuse about her kids and blame the kids.

[Pat]

Now you blame.

[Mike]

You're currently not in a relationship then?

[Caller 2]

No, I'm single. Hell yeah.

[Pat]

Type.

[Mike]

They're giving us all itself as.

[Caller 2]

All these, all these got kids. All these got kids.

[Pat]

I think you're just looking in the wrong spot. That's not your preference then you shouldn't be dating a woman with kids in the first place.

[Caller 2]

They do right, but they got the good though.

[Key]

Like, so why you stop? Why you just hitting dash if she was valid.

[Caller 2]

Nah, she wasn't. I mean she had a was valid but her kids wasn't. Kids is bad as waking me up my sleeping after I don't, you know, put down. They waking me up my seat talking about they want to play and like.

[Key]

Like damn, in a week? That is crazy.

[Pat]

Hey, how old are you, bro?

[Caller 2]

I'm 30.

[Pat]

Oh, that changed everything, bro.

[Mike]

I thought he think was like 22.

[Key]

I definitely thought he was.

[Pat]

I'm like this, this little young. You don't need to be taking care of nobody kids. You need to start a family out here moving like he a teenager. And.

[Mike]

I thought this was a YM bro.

[Caller 2]

I just got the baby face.

[Mike]

Nah, you are unknown.

[Pat]

You got that baby account. One thing I hate though, I'm not gonna lie. Like if I'm talking to somebody like my age or older and they talk like that young bro. That is disgusting, bro. Like the way this talk is disgusting. You supposed to be somebody og like somebody listens to you nigga. Like, do you hear yourself? Like these supposed to be a role model. These got the good like a 30 year old. Ew, he got some morals.

[Key]

He living his life.

[Caller 2]

The I'm getting pushy. The you mean morals.

[Key]

Talk about morals. Shut the up.

[Caller 2]

Talk about some morals. I'm the morals again. Good talking about when you going to have morals. Shut your ass up.

[Pat]

Hey, Eric Spears. You was right. Some of us should be slaves again. Yeah, you first. No, you first. So I'm getting this is 30 Chad a slave to pregnant.

[Mike]

That's.

[Caller 2]

Dude, you got choices.

[Mike]

Oh, man, you act like I'm all you like.

[Caller 2]

No, I'm not searching for the with kids they just I talk to a next thing she know. Oh yeah, I got these kids. I'm like damn, another one you talking.

[Pat]

About her boundaries and you can't even hold your own boundaries.

[Mike]

Boundaries.

[Caller 2]

What boundary you talking about that like.

[Pat]

He can't answer complicated questions. No. Well last time. What you do for a living, bro?

[Caller 2]

Me? I work at a factory.

[Pat]

What's your hours?

[Caller 2]

I work 10 hour shifts.

[Pat]

The you say just say one completion and I'll leave you alone, bro.

[Caller 2]

Pat is a.

[Pat]

You got it, bro.

[Mike]

All right, bro. You have a good one, man.

[Caller 2]

Yeah, I'll be cool.

[Mike]

All right. We're gonna take another quick break to thank today's sponsor, Squarespace. Squarespace is an all in one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online. Whether you're just starting out or scaling your business, Squarespace gives you everything you need to claim your domain, showcase your offerings with a professional website, grow your brand, and get paid all in one place.

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[Mike]

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[Caller 2]

When did making plans get this complicated?

[Pat]

It's time to streamline with WhatsApp, the secure messaging app that brings the whole group together. Use polls to settle dinner plans, send.

[Mike]

Event invites and pin messages so no one forgets. Mom 60th and never miss a meme or milestone.

[Pat]

All protected with end to end encryption. It's time for WhatsApp message privately with everyone.

[Caller 2]

Learn [e-mail].

[Mike]

Now, this name is your father.

[Key]

He 30.

[Mike]

He had enough of that.

[Key]

That's crazy.

[Pat]

Another fatherless child. Oh, man, that nigga's cooked.

[Caller 2]

Yo, what's up?

[Mike]

What up? What up? Huh? What?

[Caller 2]

I said, what up, brother?

[Mike]

He said, what up, bro? Oh, it's time to say mama. I was like, what?

[Caller 2]

I said, bubba. Like, brother, bubba.

[Pat]

Bubba. I never heard nobody call nobody no.

[Caller 2]

Bubba because y' all from up north. Y' all ain't from the south.

[Pat]

All right? Now, you know what people do? They gonna get on here and say you not from the South. So I hope you telling the truth, bro. We gonna take your word for it.

[Caller 2]

Oh, God. I appreciate that.

[Pat]

Oh, God. It's okay.

[Caller 2]

How y' all doing?

[Mike]

All right.

[Pat]

I got a question for you, bro.

[Caller 2]

What's up?

[Pat]

All that. How you doing? All right. If you could reach out to any famous person, who would it be, and what would you say?

[Caller 2]

I'll reach out to that Big Sean, and I would tell him he need to start rapping again, because my life is right now. Back in 2013, 2012, when he been dropping was great, you know, but this man started falling for Kanye bullshit, getting his feelings, and want to rap no more.

[Pat]

What's your favorite Big Sean lyric?

[Caller 2]

My favorite Big Sean lyric?

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Caller 2]

I can do a song. I can't do a lyric because I know all his songs.

[Pat]

Okay.

[Caller 2]

My fourth quarter, how'd I go?

[Mike]

Fourth quarter, how'd I go? I should go, like.

[Caller 2]

As we go, like. Oh, I can't even tell.

[Mike]

You.

[Pat]

Ain'T no Big Sean fan, bro. You faking. You pun faking? He would have heard. He could. This is. I'm telling you, rap one of his songs. I feel like he'll hear this. He'll at least see the video. I'm not sure he'll respond, but I'm pretty sure he'll see this.

[Caller 2]

I'm pretty sure. You see.

[Pat]

Come on, bro.

[Caller 2]

I don't with you.

[Mike]

Oh, my God. He just party. The USA does.

[Pat]

No.

[Mike]

What's the correlation between your life and Big Sean making music, though? That's what I kind of want to get at.

[Caller 1]

Man.

[Caller 2]

Like, me, I found me and my best friend, you know, chill, smoke, and listen to Big Sean, dog. Like, every album he dropped, like, we was on that. Every song we was on it. Every feature, he was on it. Like, even with that.

[Pat]

That.

[Caller 2]

No more interviews with. He was, quote unquote, dissing Kendrick or whatever, you know? But, like, that was. That's. It was a amazing time. Bringing back to all that.

[Mike]

Yeah. But what's happening now. There's not what's happening now that you're not, like, what's the difference now with your life? Because you say your life is in shambles. Why is it in shambles right now?

[Caller 2]

Because, like, during that time, my life was in sandals, too. But I still had him to listen to. You know? I ain't got that no more.

[Pat]

I feel it, bro. Big Sean's a good rapper, bro, but you gotta definitely find some more. More motivation than Big Sean.

[Mike]

Yeah, for sure.

[Pat]

It gotta be something, bro.

[Mike]

I don't think Big Sean wants that responsibility.

[Pat]

That's all I need is so crazy, bro. I don't think Big Sean would appreciate it. Don't stand Big Sean.

[Caller 2]

I think he would, bro. I definitely want to get out. I think, like, oh, gosh.

[Pat]

How we get here?

[Mike]

Wait, what was that?

[Caller 2]

Sorry, Janae, are you cool?

[Pat]

Like, why? Why? Why, bro? You just. You. You literally just gave a big shot.

[Mike]

I'm not gonna lie. I missed everything he said. Then what'd he say?

[Pat]

Just go, bro.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Pat]

He on some horny.

[Mike]

Okay. Got it, got it. Hello?

[Pat]

Yeah. What you.

[Caller 2]

Y.

[Pat]

What happened?

[Caller 2]

Oh, I said, y' all really cold. I'm right here playing Undisputed. I'm trying to be Mike.

[Mike]

And I'll put belt ass in that game against you, though.

[Caller 2]

I believe you, bro. This game hard as. I ain't gonna lie to you.

[Mike]

I'm not gonna lie.

[Caller 2]

This game, bro.

[Mike]

I got a question for you, bro.

[Caller 2]

What's going on?

[Mike]

If you could reach out to any famous person, who would it be, and what would you say?

[Caller 2]

Probably a cab, bro. Cause Kyle doing all this, but he ain't bring back 106 and pop and 106 and park was essential to the black community in my childhood after school. 106 and park need to be back. Community music videos ain't. Ain't lit no more.

[Mike]

Nah, I. I agree. 160 park was that place where it's like, you actually broke music videos there, too. Like, you saw the music videos there first, but I think with the addition of YouTube and stuff like that, that kind of obviously changed a little bit. I think Kai would be the person to bring back 106 in park.

[Pat]

No, I can see it.

[Caller 2]

Yeah, exactly.

[Mike]

I just don't know how.

[Caller 2]

Exactly.

[Mike]

I just don't know how it would be presented, though, this time.

[Caller 2]

I have no clue either. But his little exciting ass.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Caller 2]

Yeah. He'd be all over the place, bro.

[Pat]

This little. Come on.

[Caller 2]

Don't stop, pet. Don't stop, man.

[Mike]

It was A. It was a crazy string of words together.

[Pat]

This little exciting ass.

[Caller 2]

Pause me in the chat.

[Mike]

It's not even.

[Pat]

Not even pause. It's just like, just very. Just weird word combination and weird exciting ass. Nah.

[Mike]

All right, what's your message to Kai Snap then.

[Caller 2]

Hey, bro. Hey, bro. Keep doing your thing. Matter of fact, first of all, y' all keep doing y' all things. Y' all don't win it. I don't watch y' all from episode 12 from now, bro. Y' all keep me entertained all day. But Kai, keep. Keep doing your thing with the positive messages, bro. But bing bag 106 and pop, bro, I need real music videos. All these shooting in the in kitchens.

[Pat]

What song do you want to have a music video to? Or you feel like they did the wrong way and then what should they have in it?

[Caller 2]

Think of, like, oh, well, well, young.

[Mike]

Boy been locked up.

[Caller 2]

But all his music. All his music videos. Like when he been releasing music, like, since like, 2020 to. Till now or like some R B? I can't think off the top of my head right now.

[Pat]

So what's wrong with NBA Youngboy music videos, bro?

[Caller 2]

You know, bro, you know he was on house arrest, bro. He couldn't really do much.

[Mike]

It was very running shoot. I know he's talking about that.

[Pat]

Oh, okay. So you wanted more.

[Caller 2]

I need.

[Pat]

I need.

[Caller 2]

I need some. I need some Chris Brown run it.

[Mike]

Type ye real storyline, bro.

[Caller 2]

Not even grabbing the air no more, bro. Ain't dancing in the rain. Not crying, bro.

[Mike]

That's true.

[Caller 2]

Nah, for real. Real pain out here. We ain't got no music groups no.

[Pat]

More that he missed Dudes dancing.

[Mike]

That's n, bro.

[Caller 2]

No, but the problem is it ain't enough. It ain't enough cocaine in the music, bro. Cocaine make good music, and the only doing coke is Chris.

[Pat]

All right, all right.

[Caller 2]

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

[Mike]

I went too far. Yep. I'm sorry.

[Caller 2]

Hello.

[Mike]

Yo, yo, yo. On the craft. What's up?

[Caller 2]

What's up? How y' all doing?

[Mike]

Oh, good, good. Oh, I got a question for you.

[Caller 2]

All right, all right.

[Mike]

If you could reach out to any famous person, who would it be and why? And what would you say?

[Caller 2]

For me, it'll be Patrick Johnson, because you know, why the not. What's good, Pat? How you doing, gang?

[Mike]

What do you have to say? That was all my bad.

[Caller 2]

My car. No, no, no, no, no. My other car had connected. I didn't hear you. What'd you say?

[Mike]

We didn't say anything. Oh, what do you want yeah, we're quiet. It was like, deaf side.

[Pat]

I don't. We don't get it.

[Mike]

Why. Why, Pat?

[Caller 2]

Because why not? I mean, it's Patrick Johnson.

[Pat]

Why are you saying my name, though?

[Caller 2]

I can't say your name.

[Pat]

Why are you calling me gang, though?

[Caller 2]

I mean, my bad family. Nah. But on the real note, is Gene there?

[Pat]

Nah, you just missed them. I meant. Well, they haven't been here yet. We don't know.

[Mike]

Some of the calls they might be.

[Pat]

On, some of the calls they might not. Yeah, you miss.

[Mike]

What do you got to say, Gene?

[Caller 2]

Nah, because I hit, like. Because I've been listening for, like, a few months now, and when I first started listening, y', all, you know, I was watching our videos or whatever, and Team Be. I'd be used to hearing Gene get mad disrespected. I'm like, yo, what the. So, nah. I was like, damn, Gina goat.

[Pat]

What the going on?

[Caller 2]

He's my. He's the spider man in my New York, bro. You know? You feel me? I was like, damn, you like, the.

[Pat]

Second dude that called. I wanted to gene this getting out of here.

[Caller 2]

I don't. Hey, I don't want Gene, you know? But that's my goat, bruh. Pat, you my second goat, actually. No, I take that bite. Mike, my second goat. You my third goat. Never mind. You my fourth. Keith, in front of you. I'm sorry.

[Pat]

That's cool, man. Whatever.

[Mike]

How'd you go from first to last.

[Pat]

And calling me family? And that's what I said. Be snakes for real, bro. Nah, bro, you're snake.

[Caller 2]

Nah, you snake.

[Pat]

I ain't gonna lie.

[Caller 2]

When you wore them. When you wore them jeans that got the bullet holes in them, I was.

[Pat]

Like, nah, I don't have one. The bullet holes, crazy. The PDF, bro. No, that. How tall is you, bro?

[Caller 2]

Me?

[Caller 1]

I'm.

[Caller 2]

I'm. I'm. I'm 5' 11.

[Pat]

5' 11. How much you weigh?

[Caller 2]

I'm like 150.

[Pat]

Oh.

[Caller 2]

Yeah.

[Pat]

God damn. Don't get in no tussles, brother.

[Caller 2]

Hey, I don't need to get into tussles. I got his 19 on me. Don't worry about it.

[Pat]

Oh, okay. We got a real shooter.

[Caller 2]

The same thing that he told. The same thing. I'm used, bro. From you got my info from you.

[Pat]

He actually cooking.

[Mike]

He's cooking. I.

[Pat]

With. Dude, he's cooking outside the dumbass voice. You got everything, bro.

[Caller 2]

All right, bro.

[Pat]

Hey, all right, y'.

[Mike]

All. That's, like, the third time I heard somebody say safety.

[Caller 2]

What's good, Michael? And Patrick, here we go.

[Mike]

What's your name, bro?

[Caller 2]

Good afternoon. It's Brandon, man. What's happening?

[Mike]

All right, man, let's go.

[Pat]

Brandon.

[Mike]

I got a question for you.

[Caller 2]

Go ahead.

[Mike]

All right, if you could reach out to any famous person, who would it be and what would you say?

[Caller 2]

It'd most likely be Aries Spears. I just don't with that. Like, every time he come through the airport, he'd be on. He literally hates tsa and that's who I work for. And every single time he gotta. He say some off the wall ass disrespectful to us, but he. He voiced his opinion about it, like, publicly. Yeah, he don't with tsa.

[Mike]

What was the worst thing he ever said to you?

[Caller 2]

I think I was just making like a regular joke towards him. Like, just trying to. Or not even a joke. It was just like, what's up up? Trying to speak to him because, you know, it's a celebrity or whatever. And he just was rude as. For no reason. Like, he just does not care for TSA at all. And I think one. The last time I seen him was probably like a year ago when he came through the airport and I said, what's up to him? And I was like. I told him I seen. I'd recently seen one of his skits, and he just was like, give me my bags. I'm trying to go. I'm like, damn. Like, he doesn't. He. He doesn't want to interact with us.

[Mike]

Like, yeah, that's not your job.

[Pat]

Yeah, you're already doing too much, bro.

[Caller 2]

I mean, we just to have a conversation like y'.

[Mike]

All.

[Caller 2]

Y' all speak to at the grocery store. Y' all can't speak to people at the airport.

[Pat]

Yeah, I'm not saying I. I would. I would definitely say what's up? But even though that's.

[Caller 2]

Oh, you definitely know you, bro.

[Pat]

That's not true. No, that dude was capping, bro. I see why. I see why you, bro. Look, you annoying as, bro.

[Mike]

God, that was him.

[Caller 2]

Out of here.

[Pat]

Oh, this is the same dude.

[Caller 2]

You literally. Yes, same dude. Last time when I seen your ass at the airport, you were rude as too.

[Pat]

You.

[Caller 2]

I kind of. You kind of remind me, Airy Spears, how you come through the airport too?

[Pat]

Damn, that's crazy. I was about to cap, too.

[Caller 2]

Yeah, I'm trying to come through cool as.

[Pat]

Oh, man, you caught me, bro. Bro, you call me, but you'd be asking too many questions and obviously how early do it be?

[Caller 2]

Like, have conversations. I really don't have to do around there. I'm a supervisor, so I.

[Pat]

That's what I'm saying. Okay, okay. But listen, have you ever did Aries Spears a favor? Like, got him through the line a little bit faster?

[Caller 2]

I wouldn't do that for y'.

[Pat]

All so correct.

[Caller 2]

You ain't gonna compromise my job for.

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[Caller 2]

Five. Five seconds of a conversation.

[Mike]

It don't mean that much.

[Pat]

So is you asking me about a skit for then something we both watched.

[Mike]

And did he live the skit?

[Pat]

He already did the Everybody wasn't even a skit.

[Mike]

It probably was a special. And you call this a skit?

[Caller 2]

Hey, I think it was a whole special. I just said, you know the Facebook reels that pop up on your algorithm.

[Mike]

I did a whole special. Call my a skit.

[Pat]

I ain't gonna lie. This. This is how I am. Because this just happened to me last night. If someone comes up and I can tell their. I'm not saying an actual fan of podcast, but I feel like they watch the podcast in a longer form than just seeing like a tick tock or real go by. I get them a lot more attention. But if somebody is trying to. They barely know my name, and then they trying to help me put it together of who the I am. Like, hey, bro, who is you, bro? You somebody. You look familiar, bro. And then they want to talk about one specific real or tick tock. They found out my face. But if you watch the pod and like that, I chop it up with you for hours, bro. But like, all this, like, I saw a clip, clip, and it was like this, like, bro, you saw one clip of me, bro. Let me do two at tsa. Weak ass supervisor.

[Mike]

And I was already waiting. Especially if you're especially waiting in line this whole time. And like, for an hour. And, man, I can't remember that next.

[Caller 2]

Time you come through there.

[Mike]

We do not come through that airport. We always go to Chicago.

[Caller 2]

I've never seen Mike come through. I've seen Pat come through before, though.

[Mike]

We go to Chicago, bro, two or three occasions. You work at what? Milwaukee airport.

[Caller 2]

The one. Yeah, the one of your city.

[Pat]

No, no, no, we be skipping that. No, y' all ain't got no direct flights to la.

[Caller 2]

Oh, yeah, you right about that.

[Pat]

Yeah. When y' all get that, we'll see your whole ass again, bro. But until then, you a ho. Hey, we. Hey, we'll fix our relationship when we got a comfortable bro. But for now, bet, Bet.

[Mike]

I got you.

[Caller 2]

No, hey, we got. We have connections around here, ain't Nothing. The word out to the other airport.

[Pat]

Y' all boys real, bro. This is my new thing because I have to start checking if I'm immature or is something actually wild. So we gonna go to the hometown team here. I'm sorry, you gotta hear this. Michael Parsons, Green Bay Packer. Now, he a big Cowboys fan, but let me know if. Am I immature?

[Mike]

That's crazy.

[Pat]

Am I immature, or is Michael Parsons wilding with this quote? Somebody asked. One of the reporters, asked him about Joe Flacco. They play the Browns this week, so.

[Mike]

Here you go, man. Really just getting after Flacco.

[Pat]

You know, I'm.

[Mike]

You know, I kind of like the name the Hunter. I haven't had Flacco yet. I need him. I want him. It's time to go get him.

[Pat]

And we two days out.

[Key]

Vo.

[Mike]

He does the countdown. And, you know, he named. Like, he makes it impossible. You forget names. Like, you know, he yells them out.

[Pat]

He's like, protect Lucas.

[Mike]

Like, he's yelling them. And we're two days out, and I couldn't be more excited.

[Caller 2]

It's just about that. Just that QB right in front of me.

[Mike]

I don't want to look past him. I need him. Is that.

[Pat]

Is that like.

[Key]

That's insane, bro.

[Pat]

Is that a safe space, though? Football? Like, I need him. Like. Okay, let's. Let me say the quote to see if it sound different.

[Mike]

All right?

[Pat]

He said, I kind of like the name the Hunter because that's what people been, like, giving him the name, you know, because, like, how many QBs he's had. I haven't had Flacco yet. Are you talking about Joe Flacco? Yeah, I haven't had Flacco. It's not too crazy.

[Key]

That sounds crazy.

[Pat]

It's followed by I need him. I want him. Wait, wait. It's time to go get him. I feel like he could have. Okay, let's take out. I need him, and I want him. I kind of like the name Hunt. I haven't had. Okay, let's take out. I haven't had.

[Key]

Yeah, yeah, but you gotta take out. I like the name Hunter.

[Mike]

Can you. Can I see it real quick?

[Pat]

Huh?

[Mike]

I'm trying to see how else I would say this. Okay. I kind of like the name Hunter. Yep. Okay. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't. I haven't got a sack on Joe Flacco yet. I feel like I. Sack.

[Pat]

That's not crazy. That's not crazy.

[Mike]

Yeah. I haven't sacked Joe Flacco yet. Okay. I need him. What can else you can say like that I need.

[Pat]

You can say, I need that sack. Not I need that sack. I. I need.

[Mike]

Damn.

[Key]

I guess I could try.

[Mike]

I'm looking forward to getting the sack. That's a lot of words.

[Pat]

No, I'm looking forward to getting the sack. It's crazy. I haven't had Flacco yet. I'm looking forward to getting the sack.

[Mike]

That's ended, period.

[Pat]

I haven't had Flacco yet. It's just crazy.

[Mike]

No, no, no, no.

[Key]

I'm looking forward to getting his sack.

[Mike]

No, no, you crazy. But that's not.

[Key]

That's what he said, right?

[Mike]

No, no, no.

[Pat]

Nothing to do with football with that.

[Mike]

I think the better thing would be just a period. A period after. I, I would. I haven't got a sack on him yet.

[Pat]

Yes.

[Mike]

And I'm looking forward to doing that.

[Pat]

Yes, that. That's period. Yeah, yeah. I want him. I'm about to go get him and shit. I want you. I need you.

[Mike]

That's what, that's why the quote is crazy, because it kind of sounds like that.

[Pat]

So. You know what I was thinking the other day? I was wondering if. Because I've. I've dated women in the past with different music selection and like what they type like. I've dated someone whose country is like kind of like their, their second go to after like some R B. And I've tolerated, you know what I mean, as long as it's good country, I can deal with it. And I was wondering, is there something a woman could like musically that I just be like, I can't do this. And I was like, no, I'm pretty versatile in music. There's nothing. And I finally found it. If a woman likes battle rap, bro, no, I can't do it, bro. If she's a fan of battle rap, like portables. If I, if, if I'm playing a battle rap rap on my, on my tick tock, right? And I'm listening to it and she go, is that calico? I'm done. I'm done. Oh, you. Man, Chess was wilding last night. What the did you just say to me?

[Mike]

I guess there are some combos you don't like. Especially like, I would say more broish combos you don't want to have. Yeah. With your girl.

[Pat]

Like, I'm not sexist at all, but that's where I get a little bit sexist. You're not about to talk to me about, like, we can talk about football. Yeah, but don't tell me that Dak Prescott is underrated. That's a little bit too. That's. That's a little bit too much knowledge.

[Mike]

Sports. Debating with your girl should be a. No, no. You shouldn't be having debates about sports with your girl. Like legit X, X's and O's of the sports.

[Key]

Yeah, it depends on what sport it is.

[Mike]

Nah, I don't wanna. I. I'm not even saying.

[Key]

If we debating about tennis, then I can see.

[Mike]

I'm not even talking about from. I don't want to debate sports with my girl. No matter if it's wnba, NBA, women's tennis. You're talking about like passionately and just like passionately. Like I don't want to have those type of arguments.

[Pat]

I don't want to live. I don't. Because I plan on marrying you one day and that means that we're gonna have to share the same household. Like imagine your woman actually being a true fan of a team you don't like and having a credible opinion about it.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Like that would drive you up the wall. Like you can't say around the house and just be like, like, yeah, Caleb Williams kind of tough and just like, no, he's not. Because such and such. He like.

[Key]

That'Ll make the relationship interesting.

[Pat]

No, it might it be.

[Key]

You could drive in some.

[Mike]

No, I'm not saying I don't want me.

[Pat]

I don't like that.

[Mike]

I'm not saying I don't care about like my girl being super knowledgeable in sports and stuff like that. It just. To me, arguing about sports is very broish thing. It's very. Just a, a really broish conversation. Like guys, we argue about dumb shit. I don't want to argue about dumb shit with my girl. Like we argue. I leave that brain rot arguments with my guy friends.

[Key]

So what's a valid argument to have with your girl?

[Pat]

A valid argument is why do you keep walking around with clothes on?

[Mike]

Come on.

[Pat]

Am I right, fellas?

[Mike]

We just got very red pillage. No, I'm not saying I. I'm just saying regular conversations. No, no, but even like, even like playful conversations about like if you leave the. Your clothes on the ground. Like those type of arguments or even more serious about.

[Pat]

Yeah. Or I. Or like let's do something more like drama related. Like who's a better actor or actress but like sports.

[Key]

Better actor and better. Like sports player. I think is the same thing.

[Pat]

No, it's not bro.

[Mike]

I think because guys, we don't argue about those things. Typically a lot of guys argue about sports. I would say there's more guy. There's what this is. This can't be sexist. There's more guys that argue about sports than there are women that argue about sports.

[Pat]

Gotta check it. He said this can't be.

[Mike]

No, I'm just saying though, because it just be like some people like you don't know that, but I'm pot. Look at how all the sports debate shows on TV right now, right?

[Pat]

The woman is usually the host.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm not saying it has to be that way all the time, but it's just the numbers of the numbers.

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mike]

So I don't want to have those type of arguments.

[Pat]

Yes. And I feel like there's. It's still rare.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

That you see women. If I. If I meet the next 10 women and I asked him some deep rooted football knowledge that's currently going on right now, I feel like they would not know if I asked the next 10 men. They would. It's just about. About the numbers and stuff like that. I don't want one of those women. And that's just my preference. Some dude might love that. Like, bro, I was just debating with my girl last night. I see it all the time. Yeah, I seen one time me and Mike are in a GTA server.

[Mike]

Arise, shout out, y'.

[Pat]

All. Arise, shout out to y'.

[Caller 2]

All.

[Mike]

Not some. Not people in there.

[Pat]

Some. Yeah, some of y'.

[Mike]

All.

[Pat]

Weird as it's some lame ass in there. I'mma just keep it a bean. And one had on regular glasses in GTA. Like, you a got a. You can have 2020 vision in here. But you know, like, some people play video games with their girlfriend. I see a rolling around with his girlfriend. I don't think that's like, I'm not gonna call him out for that. But that's not me. Like, my girl's not playing a video game with me. Some.

[Mike]

No, there are certain games. There's certain games.

[Pat]

Couple games though. I'm saying, like, I mean, no, none of them.

[Key]

Don't be couple games, bro.

[Pat]

It'd be some people that be playing threes on 2K.

[Mike]

No, no, no, no.

[Key]

I'm not playing with your girl. That's crazy.

[Mike]

I'll pass my girl the ball, bro.

[Key]

And then you getting mad at her, talking crazy to her.

[Mike]

That's the other thing, bro.

[Pat]

I literally, I literally had a tryout for the team. This team, this 2k team. I had a tryout and during the tryouts, a dude, like, we couldn't find a fifth. So a dude added his Girlfriend? Yeah, and she was garbage. And he was like, don't worry about her. Just focus on the game. I can't concentrate. Your fiance is ass my.

[Key]

Then it's like you can't say nothing because it's your guy's girl and you want to be respectful. But like, when you playing the game, you want to play the game for fun.

[Pat]

It's like you get a new girl or a new teammate, bro. Which one? You gotta pick one.

[Mike]

Do you? I was saying I feel like there's too many abbreviations now.

[Pat]

Okay. Oh, I know what you're saying.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah. Too many abbreviations, obviously.

[Pat]

Like.

[Mike]

Like omg. Like those are like the simple ones. Irl, IRL and stuff like that. But there's like, there's like different ones. What are those other ones that people have like, for like, it'd be like so many letters.

[Pat]

Sy B A, U.

[Mike]

What it is.

[Pat]

Shut your ass.

[Mike]

Ctfu.

[Pat]

That's old though.

[Mike]

That's old.

[Pat]

And unless we I I okay, I I with these. I with the new generation.

[Mike]

What car?

[Pat]

I'm gonna call you out on that. We was bullshitting how, like, what is L M F a O? Like, why are we saying all that? Laughing my ass off.

[Mike]

Like, bro, they're rolling. Yeah, they used to be rolling too.

[Pat]

R O F L rolling on the.

[Key]

I'll be sending like that and have a dead stare.

[Mike]

I do.

[Key]

Like, I'd be like, laugh my ass off and just be looking like, bruh.

[Pat]

But. But okay, so my thing is the new generation. Even though I'd be frustrated in the process of it, like, bro, what the do this mean? At least, like, at the time it makes sense. Like I'm about to start. I might have to look something up. You gotta look something up new. Sometimes I'll be laughing, like so hysterically.

[Mike]

Like if I do, like, I don't.

[Pat]

Know if it hits that funny bone.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And I'll just. I'll just start smashing the keyboard.

[Mike]

See that one that's such a ass up. Looks like Sabayu.

[Pat]

Yeah, that's how I love that. That's. I want that on a license plate.

[Mike]

Somebody said so.

[Pat]

There's btwi, btw, btw, by the way, I.

[Mike]

No, but you know, you had it by the way. It just says irrelevant.

[Pat]

I don't know if anybody says by the way irrelevant. That sound like a UTI or something?

[Mike]

Ngh not gonna lie. NGL NG NGL My bad. AF A I k a f. I gotta write that.

[Pat]

Wait, a f a I k.

[Mike]

A f a I k. No A F, A, I K. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Key]

I heard it in reverse.

[Pat]

He said it in the same cadence you it in, too.

[Mike]

That's how you know. That's how you knew. He was wrong, though.

[Pat]

The af as formerly known as.

[Mike]

As far as I know.

[Pat]

As far.

[Key]

Yeah, as far as I know.

[Pat]

Damn good. But look it up.

[Mike]

He did look it up.

[Key]

He said I gotta scroll it.

[Mike]

No, I haven't listened. No, I just wrote it down so I can see. I'm a visual person. I'm like, what did Aili and the be do?

[Pat]

Oh, tap the leg.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah. I'm like that sometimes when I'm like that when I read. Sometimes, though, like, I have to have a. Find that rhythm. Rhythm, you know?

[Pat]

Which one got canceled, though?

[Mike]

Which one?

[Pat]

IOI got canceled. Like, people don't play that I love you, right? Yeah, yeah. People don't play that because it went through. Like, people went through a phase. I remember this. Like, when this phase happened, people start bashing people that said love you or ioi. Yeah. Don't cut it. If you don't put I love you, then it don't hit the same, bro.

[Mike]

Like, I have gotten reprimanded in, like, past relationships for, like, putting I love you with just the letter U. And there's like, what? Or love you. That's. Some girls hate just to love you, too.

[Pat]

Love you. Love you is. You gotta. You gotta spoil your girl.

[Mike]

Yeah, put the eye.

[Pat]

Definitely gotta put the eye for your girl. I love you with an emoji. I got reprimanded for no emojis.

[Mike]

Like, I did, too. I got.

[Pat]

Remember emoji?

[Mike]

Yeah, no emoji. That's the name.

[Pat]

You know, I love Strict girl. What you want me to do?

[Mike]

And I was like, I don't. And you know, the worst thing to say, too, is, like, I don't use emojis for nobody else. You already know what follows that.

[Pat]

I'm not just. Well, you are human. Wrong. Not for real. Okay, we go. Tweet of the week.

[Mike]

Yes.

[Pat]

Okay. Okay. Okay. All right. First tweet of the week. This is like. It's funny because sometimes you're just having a bad week. Gingo. Understand this. Sometimes you're just having a bad week, and you just, like, lean more into it. Just like, okay, it. Damn. Somebody tweeted, said, I dropped the wood and just fell with it. I don't give a.

[Mike]

No more.

[Pat]

Bro. You ever, like, had a bunch of small bad things happen to you in a row? Like, it's not like, a big thing, Like, A car accident or something. But it's just like, okay, I stubbed my toe. My toe hurt. I'm on my way out the door.

[Mike]

Door.

[Pat]

The door didn't rip my shirt, and now I just found a stain on my hat. Like, man, what the is going on?

[Mike]

Nothing. Nothing's worse than just minor inconveniences, man. Even, like, I feel like that happened to me last week with the. With the editing of the pod. It was just like we had a corrupted hard drive and like that. But I think I've. I'm proud of myself, of how I dealt with the day, because I was working on it since, like, 9 o' clock in the morning and didn't solve it till like, 10 o' clock at night.

[Caller 2]

Night.

[Mike]

But I did take a break. I said, nothing's gonna change in this next two hours. Let me go box.

[Pat]

No, Mike. Mike came over my house like a superhero. The wouldn't. He wouldn't give me no eye contact, bro. Like, he was having, like. He came over there to use my laptop in my hard drive, and he got, like, both of our laptops on my, like, kitchen counter, and he just got headphones on. I'm like, yeah, bro, I'm just in the back talking about some, like, sports. I'm like, yeah, Bug Crawford. And like that. He's like, like, yep, bud. Definitely won that one.

[Mike]

Because I know, because Pat. Pat is the ultimate throw you off your feng shui. Or if you already have a process. Pat's like, the worst person at this too. You already have your process, and, you know you've already tried this, and y' all don't want Pat to come over there, be like, hey, bro, you try restarting it.

[Pat]

Hey, man, gotta get the simple out the way because the. The.

[Mike]

That's true, though.

[Pat]

The Try restarting this. The is annoying 99 times, but that 100 times be like, ah, did I get all the glory? I solved everything. All right, We. We could talk about. Talk more about this after this tweet, the Apple update where it asked a random number to leave their name and why they're calling. Yeah. Talk to my assistant. Yeah, I like that, though.

[Mike]

I do like that that's been around for a little bit too, with, like, Google numbers.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

But that is. I like, like to state why you're calling so then I can then see, especially if it's not a save number. But also, honestly, for people too. Just let me know. It's not a voicemail, though. It's like a. Before it even rings, it'll be like, what name and why you're calling sometimes.

[Key]

Oh, that's.

[Mike]

And then it'll start. And then it'll start ringing.

[Key]

Imagine. Imagine fighting for your life and you trying to call somebody and you got to do all that extra.

[Mike]

Yeah. I need to know all you hear.

[Pat]

Here's key. Carter being shot at. Oh, what's up, bro? I'm in church. Why they shoot no Sunday?

[Mike]

No. If it's emergency like that, call 91 1.

[Key]

No, no, you can't call 911 all the time.

[Mike]

Yeah, I feel it.

[Pat]

Call me, man. I gotta use this Drake for something, man.

[Key]

But I really.

[Mike]

I'm the worst person to call with those type of confrontations, too, because I kind of want to know, like, hey, everything. Everything. Like, what did you do? How many people are there? Could this have been avoided?

[Key]

I'm dead by then.

[Pat]

Call me, bro. You right in my ass, bro.

[Key]

Writing your what?

[Mike]

It did sound like you say right in your ass.

[Pat]

Oh, you right in my eyes.

[Mike]

You said, call me, bro.

[Key]

Oh, my.

[Pat]

What's the whole sentence?

[Mike]

It sound like you said.

[Key]

No, don't say it. Don't say it.

[Mike]

It sound like you said, call me bro. Right in my eyes.

[Pat]

Oh, right in my. Okay, I get it.

[Mike]

No, you right in my eyes.

[Pat]

Oh, right in my eyes.

[Key]

No, he said right in his ass.

[Mike]

You said you write in. You really said you write in my eyes, but it sounded like you right in my eyes.

[Key]

Oh, my God.

[Pat]

That's crazy, bro.

[Key]

I feel like iPhone. Really?

[Pat]

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Wendy Williams is your OG?

[Mike]

What?

[Pat]

Wendy Williams is your OG?

[Key]

No, them pictures of her, him and Charlamagne.

[Pat]

I mean, whoa.

[Key]

Hers, Lemaine were crazy, bro.

[Caller 2]

I don't.

[Key]

He was.

[Mike]

He was og. That's. That's a funny line, first of all.

[Pat]

Yes.

[Mike]

But it's also not that much of a diss either.

[Pat]

No.

[Mike]

Because Wendy Williams is an icon.

[Pat]

Yeah. Somebody had to put him right.

[Key]

But I guess morally, quote unquote, it's.

[Mike]

Just like, trying to tap into his masculine masculinity.

[Pat]

You're trying to trigger me.

[Mike]

But not just.

[Key]

He said you're not the real representation of a masculine man.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Like, what is that? I feel like Dame is like, he's just five years behind of what's okay to say.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

He would have won that argument because he. I don't. I wouldn't want to say. He made some good points. I'm saying in a comedic standpoint, I feel like he had some, like. That was good points, but it was just some stuff that, like, was leaning more towards homophobic. And like, if he would have stayed away from that and like, kind of stayed on track. Damon's an easy person to get off track. And I think Charlemagne and Envy know that, so they was trolling him.

[Mike]

I think the seriousness of it was what kind of like, like you said, like, especially when you're making jokes like that, when you seem like you're dead ass.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Then it's like, all right, no, this thing is for real. Like.

[Pat]

No, it was one time Charlemagne was like, oh, let's hold hands. And like Dame saw his hand out there and he tried to smack the out of him. He said, man, get that. So you could tell. I just love. We were just talking about that because we got a friend like that, tj.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

That somebody's just unapologetically theyself and they always serious and even when the whole room is dying laughing at them, them, they don't even pay attention to the laughter. Continue on what they do.

[Mike]

Yeah. Continue with the mission.

[Pat]

Okay, so the tweet, you know, happy gone fishing to my boy. The Falcons have released kicker young ho. Yeah, y' all remember that name somebody quoted to tweet and said, I lost a young ho2. That's the kicker. That's bars, ain't it? Bars? That's fire, bro. Okay, everybody. I mean, women by this, but, you know, I gotta read, you know, verbatim. I'm saying, okay, be like. Be like baked chicken, green beans and rice for dinner. So it's just funny to me when somebody posts something on the Internet and it's obviously it's going to be relevant to someone. Let's say you're into cooking and a girl posts, you know, a meal, you're going to be very interested. Like when I was losing weight and people were posting recipes on like high protein meals, low calorie meals, I was very interested. But if you're not losing weight, you're not in that realm and somebody posts like a million, like, what the fuck? Who gives a. You know what I mean?

[Key]

It's like an open invitation, know. But I feel like when females do that, that's always towards a. That they was in an argument with.

[Mike]

You post your food all the time?

[Key]

Yeah, I always ask people what they ate today, as.

[Mike]

Do people actually answer those questions?

[Key]

Yeah, they do. Maybe majority of the time a lot of people say nothing or they say like some cereal or some like that.

[Mike]

But you be posting like your meal. No, your meals.

[Key]

My meals be gourmet.

[Pat]

Your meals look disgusting.

[Key]

You're a.

[Mike]

They're Good. They probably you your beats.

[Key]

Why you gonna tell me?

[Mike]

But your plating is just terrible, bro.

[Key]

Why does my plate need to look? Because if I don't even see where it's going. So why does my food need to look good to my eyes when I.

[Pat]

Can'T even see where it's going? Okay, let me put you. Let me. Let me help you out.

[Key]

No, no, I need an answer because I'm gonna answer your question.

[Pat]

Listen, I didn't ask a question.

[Key]

Oh, I'm gonna answer. I'm gonna rebuttal you. But I'm asking a question.

[Pat]

I didn't say nothing. How you gonna rebuttal me? Okay, what. What he's saying is. Is so, like, for food reviews, right?

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Key]

You like to see his presentation? I watch Food Network.

[Pat]

Okay. That's what we're saying. The biggest part. The. I mean, he is the biggest part of the. The food, right? Is, like, how good it looks when it starts off. And sometimes you already posting in a ranch already on your mouth, and it's like, all right, bro.

[Mike]

He also mixes. Is food weird, too? It's like you'll have mashed potatoes, right? And then have something completely different, like Mexican rice right next to it. And. No, I wouldn't. Yes, you do.

[Key]

The last meal I posted was jambalaya rice. Jambalaya rice and corn. So. So just made us for it. No, no, I didn't. Jambalaya rice go with corn.

[Pat]

Oh, was it a corn and cop.

[Mike]

Yeah. Okay.

[Key]

What we talking about, man?

[Pat]

I thought.

[Mike]

Some loose corn.

[Key]

Loose corn is crazy.

[Pat]

I know. What the.

[Mike]

No.

[Pat]

Mashed potatoes now be having.

[Mike]

Be having, like, coleslaw and, like, random coleslaw.

[Key]

I've never ate cold sl. A day in my life.

[Pat]

No, no, no.

[Key]

When I. Before I was little at Canes, I.

[Mike]

Seen you eat coleslaw.

[Key]

Oh, my God. Stop lying.

[Pat]

Salad for the day. All right. Okay. Tweet a week only. This Facebook, somebody said, I just bought a white tee from City Trends, and the say, boom shakalaka. No, it's funny because, like, when you go. I don't know, like, if you ever heard of dtlr, that's similar to, like, City Trends and like that. Like, they'll have some nice. It'll be like, damn, that's a nice tea. And then you turn around and say, get money. Yeah, I was gonna wear this to work, bro.

[Mike]

There was so many places to get really simple shit. Like, I used to really like getting the gas station tees when I was a kid.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Key]

Are those plain tees?

[Mike]

Just plain White tea.

[Pat]

It's funny how that shit is, like, so frowned upon back in the day and now, like, everybody thrifting, you know?

[Key]

And I feel like white tees, gas station. White tees are the best white tees of all time. Like, they made. They made differently. Like, they true to size. You know, I've never really seen a real all white tee. See, besides it coming from the gas station, because gas. Because it's packaged up.

[Pat]

Yeah, gas use. People that own a gas station, they were racist.

[Key]

They be Indians, bro.

[Pat]

Right. No, they be racist because they put they shit in the hood, right? And they, like, they look around the hood and be like, yo, these niggas like white tees, they literally go around the hood. I mean, obviously it's not racist. It's smart. So they go around the hood and they look at, obviously people coming in they store, and they like, damn, he had on the white tee. He had on white text tea. And he had on a lion's hat. He had on a bear's hat. Okay, I'm gonna put white tees and hats up.

[Mike]

That's his market research.

[Pat]

Yeah, it is. But you know, you know, it's gonna be a desperate in there. Like, I ain't got to wear to this party and then ain't nobody in the gas station. Hey, bro, I got you, bro. I'm Put it over here on the side right by the milk, bro, so you ain't got to look like you're getting it from here, bro. I got you.

[Key]

That's why they call convenience stores.

[Pat]

Yeah. You know, I bought cologne from a gas station before. Emergency cologne.

[Mike]

Oh, my God.

[Pat]

Guess what it said on it. This is like. This is like four years ago ago. Guess what it said on said Rock Nation. No, bro, it didn't say Jay Z. Nothing. The cologne, it was like, in one of those, like, disposable cologne things where you can rub on.

[Mike]

I think it's probably smell like fireball whiskey.

[Pat]

I smell like the old Dame Dash.

[Mike]

Anyway, that's been Crash Dummies podcast. Appreciate y' all subscribing. Anybody got anything to shout out out? Oh, they gotta stream something. I already know.

[Key]

Come on, stream. Milwaukee Music is dropping next week. Friday.

[Mike]

That's the name of the song. Yeah, okay, bet.

[Key]

And I'mma have merch at my show November 29th, so come on with it.

[Pat]

You don't want to announce nothing yet.

[Mike]

Oh, yeah, I got a fight coming up. There you go.

[Pat]

Do. Do some champ, bro. There you go. Get the.

[Mike]

I feel like.

[Pat]

I feel like that. Get the People on your side. If a boxer just be like, yo, I gotta fight, blah, blah. And they don't do no, like, little fist pump. I'm not with it. Like, no, I gotta fight November 29th. Okay. Okay. You know what I mean?

[Mike]

Like, I think because it wasn't officially announced yet at this point, it might be officially announced by the time. So that's why I'm not like, yeah, I'm still waiting. I always wanted to do, though, like, get on the big screen and, like, you know, like, the boxers do the little fist when they. They had a basketball game. Yeah. And you kind of do. Well, I think we had this conversation before for. But what would be. Before we end the podcast? What would be your jumbotron thing?

[Pat]

Oh, go ahead. Get somebody else start.

[Mike]

Go ahead. What would be your jumbotron post?

[Pat]

Okay. Like, if the camera panned to you at a basketball game and it was just like, oh, Gene from Unfinished Legacy. Crash Dummies is here. Probably throw out the two deuces. Two deuces.

[Mike]

Real quick.

[Pat]

What's your scary ass? Scared to hell. What about you, Key?

[Key]

I ain't gonna lie. I. I do the.

[Mike]

You.

[Key]

You ever seen those people with the. They had, like, the drum on their stomach and they had a little drumsticks, and they'll do this. Yeah, I do that with my stomach. I'll be like, done.

[Pat]

That's tough, though. That's like. That's, like, memorable.

[Mike]

I probably would do either the fist.

[Key]

Come on.

[Mike]

Or the.

[Pat]

How much time you got, though.

[Mike]

It's just like, it don't matter because you gotta do it like, 30 seconds. It's usually like. It'd be like five seconds. Seconds. Like, five, six seconds. But that's, like, real seconds. So just do like a 1, 2, 6 count real quick.

[Pat]

1, 2, 3, 4, 5. So that's actually solid.

[Mike]

Or.

[Pat]

Or.

[Mike]

Or nonchalant. Yeah, I'm doing the. On my phone. Like, I don't even know if that shit's there.

[Pat]

No. Yeah. Probably pull out the phone. Just a quick little photo.

[Key]

That'll be fire. That'll be.

[Mike]

What are you doing? What are you doing?

[Pat]

Oh, I mean, I think in reality, what I would do is I would do the nonchalant. I would never acknowledge the camera. The crowd got hype. I just started looking around and, like, that. The other one, if. If it was on me too long, I just dropped to a knee and proposed to, like, the nearest woman. And, like, that's fine. Y' all ever see, like, the kiss cam? That's my favorite kiss cam. Of all time where they going around to all the couples, and then they kissing. They kissing, they kissing. And then they get to this one couple, and she started giving them head.

[Mike]

Oh, my God.

[Pat]

What?

[Key]

Why are you on that side?

[Pat]

What?

[Mike]

What site are you on?

[Pat]

No, no, no, no. It was a joke. She, like, started giving them fake head.

[Mike]

Oh, okay.

[Pat]

And then they heard, hurry. I had to hurry up and cut it away.

[Key]

That's funny.

[Pat]

As they should have did at the Coldplay concert. They would have got away with it.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

She should have just started giving the head.

[Mike]

Yeah. All right, y'.

[Pat]

All.

[Mike]

Peace.

[Pat]

Problem solved. And Doug Limu and I always tell you to customize your car insurance and save hundreds with Liberty Mutual. But now we want you to feel it. Cue the emu music. Limu, save yourself money today.

[Mike]

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[Pat]

We save.

[Mike]

That may have been too much feeling.

[Pat]

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[Mike]

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[Caller 2]

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[Pat]

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[Caller 2]

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