Something People Are Afraid To Admit - Episode 239

Summary

Crash Dummies Podcast – Episode 239

Title: Something People Are Afraid To Admit
Date: December 31, 2025
Hosts: Patrick Johnson (Pat), Michael Esiobu (Mike), Gene (co-host, recurring guest)

---

Overview

In episode 239, Pat, Mike, and Gene close out the year with their signature, lively mix of real talk, wild hypotheticals, and interactive listener calls. Thematically, the episode revolves around things people are afraid to admit—from small social anxieties to taboo takes on relationships and adulthood failures. The trio mixes current events, personal anecdotes, and plenty of jokes, keeping the energy high as they dissect everything from relationship boundaries, social media over-sharing, pregnant women, and the humble origins of canned beer. Along the way, they feature engaging call-ins, each responding to the prompt: “What’s something people are afraid to admit?”

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Tightening Relationships and Accountability

Timestamps: 00:30–02:48

• Pat: Opens up about being quicker to cut people off for irresponsibility as he ages, emphasizing reliability in adult relationships.
  • “It’s so easy for me to cut someone off off one action, especially if it’s within the first month of me knowing you. Like, bro, how you miss your job interview?” (00:30)
• Mike & Gene: Discuss the changing tolerance for irresponsibility as you mature and the value of reliability among friends.

2. Viral Tweet: Gaming During Childbirth

Timestamps: 03:50–06:19

• The guys debate a viral tweet about a dude gaming in the delivery room while his partner is in labor.
  • Pat’s Take: Hardcore gaming at such a moment is “unmanly.” “Your girl is in the worst pain she's probably ever experienced. And you talking about 'on me, on me, on me.'” (04:17)
  • Mike: Draws a line between passive phone use and being actively distracted; games are “too interactive.”
  • Gene: Notes it’s a trend—guys packing PS5s for labor—and the hosts ridicule it.
  • Hilarious moment when Pat points out, “And for the...that’s in the party with him, y’all some hoes too.” (06:19)

3. Debating the Value of Arguments and Disagreements

Timestamps: 07:05–08:29

• The group riffs on how friends handle arguments, the futility of being “right,” and letting go of unresolvable disagreements.
  • Pat: “Just 'cause two people are telling the truth doesn’t mean that they're comprehending each other.” (08:02)
  • Mike: Hates when people say 'you're wrong' in subjective discussions.

4. Scenario: Public Breakups, Relationship Hot-takes, and Social Media Regret

Timestamps: 10:30–11:57

• Pat: Explores the impact of posting absolute statements online after breakups (Kai Cenat tweeting "I'm never getting in another relationship").
  • Pat: “You literally just talked about mental health. And then you know what this tweet is about to do to her. So I feel like...I think he want to take that back.” (11:57)

5. Gender & Security at Live Events

Timestamps: 12:20–13:39

• Comparing reactions to women vs. men storming concert stages. They reference Dave Chappelle's take on audience threats and storytelling in comedy.

6. Comedy as Art—Dave Chappelle’s Mastery

Timestamps: 13:48–17:43

• Deep dive into Chappelle’s status as a master storyteller, his unmatched crowd control, and the art of comedic silence.
  • Pat: “Silence is just as good as laughter.” (16:13)
  • Gene: Notes, “We saw how people are just...He’s like a star that's still doing comedy.” (17:08)

7. Music & Masculinity: Is "We Gettin’ Some Tonight" Awkward for Dudes?

Timestamps: 18:08–21:43

• Pat jokes about Gunna’s lyrics, “We gettin’ some tonight,” making club singalongs awkward between guys.
  • Hilarious debate: Is it masculine for men to say “we gettin’ some tonight”? Do you care about your friend’s sex life?
  • Pat: “If you go on a two man...Don’t you hope your friend gets lucky?”
  • Mike: “I personally don’t care.”

8. Call-In Segments: What Are People Afraid to Admit?

a. Loving an “Eater” (Oral Talents & Judgement)

Timestamps: 35:38–40:12

• Caller (Woman): Asserts men are afraid to admit loving sexually adventurous partners—they'll entertain but not "wife" a "good eater".
  • Engages in a funny, explicit definition of "eater" with the hosts.
  • Pat: “So you're not an eater?”
  • Caller: “I make men stutter the same way after I eat them...but my throat's been sore.” (39:59)

b. Regretting Having Kids

Timestamps: 41:12–43:43

• Caller (Woman, age 23): Claims many parents regret having kids young, but won’t admit it.
  • Caller: “People are afraid to admit...they regret having kids. And that’s fine because not everybody is meant to have kids.” (41:12)
  • Pat and Mike joke about military benefits, generational cycles.

c. Pregnant Women & Sex

Timestamps: 45:40–49:38

• Caller (Man): Bluntly states, “Pregnant girls do it better,” confesses to multiple encounters, and even possible paternity confusion.
  • Wry moment: “I forgot her last name. And honestly, I don’t really think I ever knew her last name.” (48:07)
  • Group jokingly advises trying to reconnect with his potential kids.

d. Social Media Sleuthing on Partners’ Moms

Timestamps: 51:02–55:10

• Caller (Woman): “Am I crazy if I stalk the guys that I’m talking to, their moms, on Instagram?”
  • She checks family dynamics to judge relationship potential and susses out “mama’s boys.”
  • Pat: “I know a dude on the AB honor roll that's a fucking serial killer.” (53:13)

e. Purposely Going Through Breakups to "Level Up"

Timestamps: 56:13–59:53

• Caller (Man): Purposely sabotages relationships for self-improvement arcs—"breakups for the plot".
  • Caller: “Am I crazy if I purposely go through breakups just for the plot?...You got your black ass in that gym.” (56:13)
  • Group debates self-sabotage, emotional motivations.

f. Men Afraid to Admit Feelings

Timestamps: 61:00–63:48

• Caller (Woman): Says men fear admitting their feelings, shares story of a Twitter connection who “won’t act on it.”
  • Caller: “Even at their big age, sometimes men are scared to admit their feelings for someone.” (61:09)
  • Hosts encourage her and joke about podcast love connections.

g. Pegging: The New Wave

Timestamps: 64:26–65:15

• Caller (Man): Declares: “Pegging is the new wave, bro.”
  • Short, laughing, slightly awkward conversation about G-spots and taboo sexual preferences.

9. Random But Relatable: Santa Claus, Birthdays, and Childhood Realizations

Timestamps: 65:45–71:19

• The hosts reminisce on when they learned Santa isn’t real and about the struggles of kids with birthdays near holidays.
  • Pat: “Either there is no Santa or you Santa. Cuz I keep going in the room y’all doing out here...” (68:32)
  • Mike: “Having your birthday too close to a holiday...you get one gift.” (69:39)

10. Side Chicks to Main Chicks: Is It Possible?

Timestamps: 80:13–84:42

• Discuss whether side relationships ever work out long-term, soul ties, and the cycle of cheating/divorce.
  • Pat: “Is there ever a successful graduation from being the side chick to being a main chick...?” (80:13)
  • Cheating/Divorce statistics: They joke, guess, and look up percentages.

11. (Bonus) Friendship, Competition, & Real Support

Timestamps: 74:40–77:33

• Group unpacks how ego and competition can ruin friendships, emphasizing support and mutual wins.
  • Mike: “I think people should support their friends that way. Like, your true friends.” (76:00)

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On relationships and closing doors:
  • Pat (00:30): “It’s so easy for me to cut someone off off one action...especially if it’s within the first month of me knowing you.”
• On men gaming during labor:
  • Pat (04:47): “Your girl is in the worst pain she’s probably ever experienced. And you talking about 'on me, on me, on me.'”
• On having “real” disagreements:
  • Pat (08:02): “Just ‘cause two people are telling the truth doesn’t mean that they’re comprehending each other.”
• On viral tweets and real-life impact:
  • Pat (11:57): “You literally just talked about mental health. And then you know what this tweet is about to do to her. So I feel like...I think he want to take that back.”
• On Gunna's club anthem:
  • Pat (18:12): “You can't even sing it. Make eye contact. ‘We gettin’ tonight.’ You look at your boy like, ‘we gettin’...’”
• On social sleuthing:
  • Caller (Woman, 52:00): “I stalk the guys that I’m talking to, their moms, on Instagram...I just want to see the family dynamic.”
• On breakups for ‘the plot’:
  • Caller (56:13): “Am I crazy if I purposely go through breakups just for the plot?...You got your black ass in that gym.”
• On ‘side chick’ job security:
  • Pat (80:43): “It always has to be in the back of your head. Like, yeah, I transfer over to you while I was still with the other person.”
• Final tweet of the year:
  • Pat (89:11): “Went to a job interview and told them his teardrop tattoo symbolizes sweat because he's a hard worker.”

---

Important Timestamps

• 00:30: Pat on being strict with new friends
• 03:50: Tweet of the week segues into gaming-in-the-delivery-room debate
• 07:05: “Raising bait” and picking sides in arguments
• 13:48–17:43: Chappelle’s comedy artistry breakdown
• 18:08–21:43: Gunna lyrics and awkward guy code
• 35:38–40:12: “Eater” caller and sexual honesty
• 41:12–43:43: Regret over having kids too young
• 45:40–49:38: Pregnant women and sex—taboo caller
• 51:02–55:10: Social media sleuthing on partners’ families
• 56:13–59:53: Self-sabotaging for personal growth arcs
• 61:09–63:48: The case of feelings denied and podcast love
• 72:02–74:40: On being a “private person” & how people don't care as much as you think
• 74:40–77:33: Friendship dynamics & genuine support
• 80:13–84:42: Side chick to main chick discourse, cheating data
• 89:11: Final Tweet of the Week, teardrop tattoo “sweat”
• 90:33–91:54: NBA “unspoken rules” and dunking in the final seconds

---

Tone and Style

Fast-paced, witty banter with moments of sharp honesty and irreverent humor. No topic is too taboo, but the group weaves in real advice on maturity, relationships, and personal growth. The call-in interactions add fresh voices and unexpected comedic detours.

---

Summary Thoughts

Episode 239 exemplifies why Crash Dummies is a fan favorite—they tackle real and absurd issues with a blend of insight, cultural commentary, and unapologetic laughs. Highlights include the debate on gaming in the delivery room (“Unmanly!”), a string of hilarious and vulnerable calls, and their unfiltered takes on growing up, friendship, and “things people are afraid to admit.” The final tweet-of-the-week—a teardrop tattoo explained as sweat—epitomizes the show’s charm: streetwise, silly, and always a step ahead of the obvious joke.

Fan Takeaway:
Whether you’re navigating flaky friends, chasing “the plot” with your breakups, or just want to hear grown men admit they’re learning to care less about public perception, this episode delivers honesty with a heavy dose of humor.

Transcript

[Guest Woman]

This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Listening to this podcast. Smart move. Being financially savvy. Smart move. Another smart move. Having State Farm help you create a competitive price when you choose to bundle home and auto bundling. Just another way to save with a personal price plan like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts, and savings and eligibility vary by state.

[Pat]

I'm realizing the older I get, the more strict I get with who I let in my life as far as, like, relationships, new friends. It's so easy for me to cut someone off off one action, especially if it's within the first month of me knowing you. It's like, bro, how you miss your job interview. Like, you think I'm about to put up with this. Bro, you sound like a bad friend already. What the you mean you overslept? I can't with like.

[Mike]

I think. I think as you get old, like, people's being irresponsible kind of like, irks you a little bit. Especially if you don't know them that well. Obviously your friends, your lifelong friends. Is he dumped? He'd been dumb his whole life.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

You kind of accept it. It's not. It's not.

[Pat]

It's not even like being like semi and responsible. Like, everybody fucks up. Okay. You got pulled over and got a ticket because you 20 days late on your tax. We all been there before. Okay. But it's like, bro, what you mean? You left your door unlocked to your house and they ran in there and took everything.

[Gene]

I'd be feeling so irresponsible when I lose my keys.

[Pat]

No, keys is very like. It depends on how many times.

[Mike]

Yes. Because keys is. I feel like when you lose keys, it takes one time that you may never. May never lose your keys again. Because it can happen to anybody, randomly.

[Pat]

No, any. Anybody at any time. I get that. But if you've known someone for two years and they lost their keys over three times, yeah, I'm done.

[Mike]

I'm finished.

[Pat]

I can't be around.

[Gene]

It's about feeling reliable, you know, if I can rely on myself.

[Mike]

The older you get too, the more losing your keys hurts.

[Pat]

That's what I'm saying.

[Mike]

It's a lot of. It's a lot of important keys on that. It's like, how do I even replace this one?

[Gene]

When was the last time you lost your keys and you still had to go on with your day?

[Mike]

It's been a while.

[Pat]

Never. Never really? That Never happened. But somebody recently, I was giving somebody a ride, and they accidentally left their whole bag in my car. And they had an air tag. And the only reason I knew they had an air tag because iPhone notifies you when you're being tracked. So I heard some beep in the background. I said, what the is that? Checked my phone. It's like you're being tracked. And they've been tracking everywhere I went. So I put that at a gas station. Don't with me like that. I was gonna return it personally, but don't track me, bro. You know where you left it.

[Mike]

Oh, man. Anyway, welcome to Crap trash dummies, episode 239. It's me, Mike. We got Gene here, we got Pat here. Make sure you guys subscribe to the Patreon. We've been dropping episodes there. You know, twice new episodes twice a month. It's half off this month. So what's. What's. When's this episode coming out? On the first. We're gonna try to do another deal, so. So get the Patreon.

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah. Type. Yeah.

[Mike]

Merch coming out.

[Pat]

Merch coming out.

[Mike]

Obviously, people at the live show, you guys will be the first ones to get the live show merch.

[Gene]

I think this is actually going to be the last episode of the year.

[Mike]

This is the last episode, technically.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Actually, no, we already had it because this comes out on New Year's Wednesday.

[Mike]

That's the 31st.

[Pat]

Is that the 31st? Oh, this the last one of the year? Okay, man, I can't use my joke. My bad, my bad. I ain't had sex in the whole. This year. Anywho. Anywho. Anywho. Okay, I want to start off. I feel like I've been lacking on a tweet of the week.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

I don't know how we. Maybe because of the guests. I haven't been saying much when you in Cali, man, you not on the phone like that, so I wouldn't. Yeah, I mean, I'm back in the Midwest. I'm back on the net for real. It's raining. It's gloomy today, just to let y' all know. So that's why my mood off. Oh, let's talk about that dude.

[Mike]

He said we're gonna do tweet of the week, and then just skated right over.

[Pat]

No, this tweet of the week, though. I got it from a tweet.

[Mike]

Okay, good.

[Guest Man]

Okay.

[Pat]

This dude was in the delivery room. I'm guessing his wife or girlfriend or whatever was having a baby. And the Doctors go over to hand him his baby, and you see him rise up out of the chair, the famous chair, that uncomfortable ass chair that all men have to sleep on. And he rides up out of the chair, and in front of him, you can see a gaming. Two gaming monitors and a game being played. So then it was like this big debate online if husbands, boyfriends or baby daddies should be playing a video game while their girl is in labor.

[Mike]

Yeah, that's a tough one. What you think it all all depends on. Do you think if the woman says it's okay, you still shouldn't do it? Because she might be saying it. Because she might be saying just to be nice.

[Pat]

I just feel it's just so unmanly. Yeah, you know what I mean?

[Gene]

Is it a PC?

[Pat]

Huh?

[Gene]

Is it a PC?

[Pat]

No, it looked like it was like.

[Mike]

A PS5 or Xbox.

[Pat]

Yeah, it looked like the gaming console and like two monitors.

[Gene]

I've seen a lot. I've seen. I feel that's a trend right now. Like people packing up for, you know, for labor. Yeah, they're taking their PS5s with them.

[Pat]

I feel like that's weak, bro. Like, your girl is in the worst pain she's probably ever experienced. And you talking about on me, on me, on me.

[Mike]

I think that's the part that makes it like. That makes it a little bad because how interactive you have to be with the game. Because I can be there with your phone and headphones and you know, there's a downtime like that in the. In the emergency, in the delivery room and shit like that. But to play a game and be super like into the game, like you said, like saying, on me, on me, cursing this shit. You like, you getting stressed because games are stressful.

[Pat]

But, like, what are you paying attention to? Like, if you in there, you basically the extension of the doctors. You supposed to be on it. You supposed to be looking at the vitals, making sure shit going through. Fuck is you playing the game for?

[Mike]

But other people don't bring their, like their phones and shit like that. And they watch movies and shit like that.

[Pat]

Yeah, you can watch a movie, but you supposed to be paying attention to your girl on the game is crazy. You know, you can't take the tights off the game. Yeah, I don't know what type of game that playing.

[Mike]

You know, you're a game head. If you actually brought it to the hospital so, you know, you'd be like intensely playing video games.

[Pat]

And for the. That's in the party with him, y'. All. Some Hoes too. Because like, I would never be on a. If I was on a game with somebody and I was in the party and they were like, yeah, bro, my son getting ready to be born. I'm like, bro, get the out my party. I would literally stop playing the game with them.

[Mike]

Is this it?

[Pat]

Yeah, that's it right here. That's like an old ass Xbox. He not even. He on the old generation doing this. Like, this nigga's a fiend. He said, I ain't even going to bring my real one because I don't want to be online like that. I'm just play story mode. Nah, bro, hell no.

[Gene]

Oh.

[Pat]

So this is my. I love this tweet because I do this all the time. It says when both of your bros are arguing, so you got to decide which one to glaze and which one to rage.

[Mike]

Bait.

[Pat]

And you got to be like real selective though. You got to go to the winner side. Like, I'm not about to make it back even. And then we all chill and go away. Like, no, this nigga is cooking you. He's right, bro. Nobody can depend on you. He right.

[Mike]

It's hard. It's always hard having a conversation with Pat.

[Pat]

Then why you say that?

[Mike]

Because you're not. You're always looking to raise bait.

[Pat]

Yes.

[Mike]

He's like, it's like, what's the point?

[Pat]

Yeah, because. Because it don't make sense. While we talking about this, how mad do you want to get?

[Gene]

It gets to the point where he be like, no, I'm bro.

[Mike]

Yeah, exactly.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

How about now?

[Pat]

What if I don't care if I'm wrong? How about that?

[Mike]

I think you got to be that way sometimes too though.

[Pat]

Yeah. Kind of like get it over with.

[Mike]

Yeah. Cuz there's. There's certain things. Like even when we'll have conversation about things, we'll have disagreements. It's like we always tell ourselves, all right, we're not going to get nowhere right now. Let's just come back to this next week.

[Pat]

Is it so dumb? Just cuz two people are telling the truth doesn't mean that they're comprehending each other. Like, yes, your truth is versus their truth. It could go back and forth for days. But like, are you actually trying to solve the problem? Yeah, you can always tell when somebody not trying to solve the problem. It's like you see me gracefully trying to bow out and telling you, hey, your opinion might be right, but this is what I saw. I don't know what we going to do about it. And then they still telling you, hey, your opinion is wrong.

[Mike]

That's why I hate. I hate when people say, like, you're wrong about something, especially in a more, like, creative conversation or more like opinionated conversation. Yeah. Very subjective conversations. Like, no, you're wrong. I'm like, bro, I'm not saying you're wrong. I'm saying this is what I've experienced in my. In my field or, like, in life in general. It's like some people try to. Like, something can happen to you in your life, and you're like, oh, I feel like people like this. I grew up a certain way. And people like, no, that neighborhood's not even like that. Like, bro, I'm telling you how I grew up in this neighborhood and how this neighbor was when I was there. And it's not like that anymore.

[Gene]

I got caught up in the era, though, where I was like, that this is my reality, you know?

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Gene]

And I had to calm myself down because, you know, I didn't want my reality to become skewed.

[Mike]

Yeah. But sometimes people's reality are false. Live in false realities as well. So it's very. It's very. Because there's certain people that, like, will say a certain situation is a certain situation, and they're seeing it from a different point of viewers. Like, you shouldn't be this way because of this situation. Like, this is not actually happening. People aren't attacking you. People are. Don't hate you.

[Gene]

And it's like, that becomes schizophrenic.

[Mike]

Yeah, but that person isn't behind you.

[Pat]

I mean, but that's how the world works, though, technically, everybody can have an opinion until they're proven wrong. And in some people that the proof is just not enough.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

You know what I'm saying? You tell a dude he not going to the NFL, he in his ninth year of semi pro. Bro, you can't tell him that he's not about to get picked up because nobody, no NFL team has came to him and say, what if the Bears came to us in my pro game and just be like, yo, bro, we never gonna pick you up. My. Just stop. You know what I mean?

[Mike]

Like, I hate those, like, ultimatums too. Like, where people like, you can never. You can never be proven right or wrong until, like, somebody damn near dies. It's just like, say you got into a divorce and like, your friend's like, you gonna end up with her again? And you're like, nah, bro, I'm not gonna end up with her. Like, what? When can you say, see, I told You. I wasn't going to end up with her. See how much time has to pass before you can say you were wrong? No, bro, I have to die. But that.

[Pat]

That's the same thing. It's funny, I hate that I mentioned this dude name, the falsey dude. That was kind of like his advice to Kaiser Net because Kai to Net tweeted, I'm single. I'll never get in another relationship again, basically. And it's just like falsely got on there. Like, don't say that online.

[Mike]

Yeah, especially.

[Pat]

I don't. I think rarely. I don't think he's ever done this. This is my first time seeing him do that. He forgot how famous he was.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

For just a second.

[Mike]

Saying, like, you would never be in another relationship. It's like, bro, you know you're going to be. Just say, maybe I'm not going to be in another public relationship, which is also a lie. But I don't know. It's like you're going to end up somebody's. You're going to end up being married one day and with. With kids, probably, and stuff like that. So it's like the next girl you end up with and the next year you be public where he's like, oh, this is going to end up like the last one. Yeah. It's always hard when you, like, in a public relationship and you break up. It's not. It's always, like, weird for the next girl. I feel like.

[Pat]

And I know that he didn't want. I don't. Regardless of what Gigi did to him. Right. And regardless if she did a wrong or they just broke up regularly, like, regardless of what happens, I know he didn't want her to catch as much backlash. It's like she's catching right now.

[Mike]

Yeah. Or he did.

[Pat]

Or he did. But even if he did, I feel like he's going to regret it later.

[Mike]

Yes.

[Pat]

Because even if he doesn't like her right now and he despises her, whatever happens, I feel like he still wouldn't want that on anybody else's mental stuff. When he was just talking about this.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Like, you literally just talked about mental health. And then you know what this tweet is about to do to her. So I feel like. I don't know. I think he want to take that back.

[Mike]

Yeah, that's. That's the thing about Twitter. Once it's out there, is out there.

[Pat]

It's out there forever. They literally got a series of the best deleted tweets. Like, this is deleted. It was one with 100 likes on there. Like, how did you find this?

[Mike]

I saw a thing a real about like men storming the stage versus women storming the stage or like concerts and stuff like that.

[Pat]

Oh, okay.

[Mike]

You see like the women storming stages, right? And then the. They give them hugs and shit like that. Yeah. And when the guy storms your stage, it's like straight hands, like, no question asked. Yeah, I think it's fair. I think especially when you see a guy rushing at you, it's just like, why are you. You have a capability of like actually like hurting me in a sense, you know, Like I can. I have to like be ready on my P's and Q's. I guess it's just like some people just see as unmally too.

[Pat]

I mean, look, I mean, Dave Chappelle just talked about it in his recent standup where he talked about literally almost dying on stage. You don't know what that dude could have did with him. He actually speared him and had him on the ground.

[Mike]

Said, did he save them?

[Pat]

Yeah, did he save them? And they. That was kind of slippery though, I'm not going to lie. So that was a good question by Dave. Like, why was a floor.

[Guest Man]

So.

[Pat]

Flora was slippery as hell.

[Mike]

I remembered that too. I think we talked about that on the pod. But you want time ago, one thing.

[Pat]

That Dave did not mention is not only was the floor slippery, but P. Diddy knew how to manage through the slipperiness. So it's like you got some slippery training going on. Bigger than break stride, bro.

[Mike]

Getting beat up by Diddy and Jamie Foxx at that time.

[Pat]

No, it was crazy. I know Diddy did something crazy to him while he was with a girl. What's that?

[Mike]

Did you watch the Dave Chappelle? Yeah, I actually liked it. It was. I feel like Dave Chappelle's in like a realm right now. It's like I just enjoy hearing them talk sometimes. Like. Yeah, it wasn't even that many like jokes that like, it was like, oh, that was the funniest special ever. But he's just a really, really good storyteller.

[Pat]

I think he's like one of those rare people. I feel like Steve Kerr, J.J. redick.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

It's like you're probably supposed to be a politician.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

But you don't want to deal with that. So you went a different route. So when they talk about something simple, it's like mind boggling that we're even seeing this person on a comedy stage for Netflix because Obama would never do anything like that. You Know I'm saying, so we'll never get that type of comedy with wittiness, with the nigga in every room. Like, P. Diddy was backstage at a show. He been to Africa. He'd been to Comedy Central. He did all these different things. So, you know, he know these people in real life. It's just like.

[Mike]

And I feel like with him being such, like, a storyteller, it, like, you really see the art in his comedy.

[Pat]

Like.

[Mike]

Like, see, because some people call comedy as an art. It is a form of art form. But the way some people do comedy is just, like, doesn't feel artistic. Yeah. And I think we hang on to every word Dave says now, because we know he has really good, like, callbacks. Like, he'll talk about something, take you on a. A whole thing, and then they have a call back to the first thing he. He started off with. With the punchline.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

And so you're kind of like, hanging on to every word that he's saying, and you're really following intensely, like, listening to everything. Because I'm comedian, I feel like you just listen for the punchline.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

It'd be like something random. Random. I didn't understand anything he said till the punchline. Right. But everything is, like. It's almost teaching you, like, a history lesson. And there's just. There's a lot of lessons in what he's saying to it. And there's, like, comedic lessons. Some things are, like, ironically funny, too. Like the. The Stevie Wonder joke he had about standing up for John McCain, even though John McCain was signing bills to, you know, that would oppress black people in a sense like that.

[Pat]

Only one that voted for it.

[Mike]

Yeah. Well, the one that voted for it. But Stevie Wonders. Such a great guy that despite, like, the evil or the bad in people sometimes and the mistakes people made, he. I guess I'll say he saw past it, but I guess he just. Yeah, yeah, he bypassed it. That's a cheat code.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

I feel like when you can't see somebody, it's hard to hate, though. Yeah. I think it's like Twitter eggs to me.

[Pat]

The big. The biggest thing he has, boss, um, is his crowd control is crazy.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And a lot of people think. I just learned this recently, actually. A lot of people, including myself, think that you got to make the crowd laugh as much as possible. But a comedian that saw his interview, he said silence is just as good as laughter. And he has such great crowd control where people are hanging on his every word. He one time he went to. He was like, he made a mistake. He literally said something he didn't mean to say. He's like 6 million. He's like, oh. Like he actually didn't mean to say this. And the crowd bust out laughing. They bust out this. Took a swig of a cigarette and got a round of applause. He'd be like that.

[Mike]

That be going through.

[Pat]

It sound like all 47 year old white people. I feel like everybody in the crowd is 40. We love you. We, we. I mean we actually saw him in person.

[Mike]

Yeah, we saw him in person.

[Pat]

Person at the fire took our phone. Ho ass. Dave. I play.

[Gene]

But.

[Pat]

But we saw like how people are just. He's. He's like a star that's still doing comedy.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

You know what I'm.

[Mike]

And they like go to like small rooms and too. Yeah. Like he'll go to a random comedy club and like that.

[Pat]

Like Dave Chappelle got the same type of fame. I feel like it's Jay Z. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like he's known world. He doesn't know Dave Chappelle. Like that'd be a weird ass. Like if you talking to even a 19 year old, you're like, do you know what Dave Chappelle is? And they said, no. I just be like, bro, get the out my face. One thing I'm not doing. We can move past this.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

I'm not rounding up no more to y'.

[Mike]

All.

[Pat]

I'm done.

[Mike]

What happened?

[Pat]

I'm done that rounding up.

[Mike]

I stopped doing that.

[Pat]

Trying to take up my dollar and like this. Just because you got Ronald McDonald next to a homeless kid, that don't mean nothing to me, man. I ain't getting from me. I don't care. Only 2 sink on my face. Also. I got beef with Ghana.

[Mike]

What happened?

[Pat]

I got beef with Ghana. Not on no. Not. Not no young thug beef type.

[Gene]

Yeah, the streets.

[Pat]

Yeah, the Streets. Remember that? The Streets. But he his. The song that he has now that's popping makes it awkward. When you in a club, what is it we gonna Tonight we getting tonight. Like you gotta avoid eye contact with everybody. You can't even sing it. Like you can't sing. Make eye contact. We getting tonight. You look at your boy like we getting.

[Mike]

N. You gonna make eye contact with me with somebody. With somebody in the. In the crowd. And then they're gonna do the Drew meme.

[Pat]

Like me we getting tonight.

[Mike]

Hey, bro, I know you saying like we're getting tonight and I don't think it's gonna happen for me. So like how are we gonna make this happen.

[Pat]

Actually, to. To be honest, like, I guess it's not technically meaning, like, those two people are gonna.

[Mike]

Because we collectively gonna get.

[Pat]

Because technically, I still don't like the words. No, it's true, though.

[Gene]

Imagine walking into the bathroom and somebody singing that.

[Pat]

What if two dudes is dancing like me and him getting tonight? But if you. Okay, listen.

[Mike]

Dudes don't like saying they're getting.

[Pat]

Correct.

[Mike]

You know? Correct.

[Gene]

Correct.

[Pat]

Oh, yeah, I forgot about that. That is true. Because even, like, I guess that's a problem.

[Mike]

Yeah. Because it's like, I've never. I'm not. Because I don't have these type of conversations. So I'm trying to think about, like, dudes, I've had conversation with this, like, oh, she the out me tonight. Like, I don't like.

[Pat]

No, I would never say that.

[Gene]

Yeah, yeah.

[Pat]

Because it definitely have to be pegging involved, right? No, no, no.

[Mike]

Because sometimes. Sometimes dudes can be. You know, you might be a. A pillow princess that day and she doing all the work.

[Pat]

No, that sounds crazy. Okay. Okay. I feel you, though. Okay, but if you go on a two man, right? Let's say you're going on a two man and it's two beautiful girls and it's you and your friend.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Pat]

Don't you hope that your friend gets lucky that night?

[Mike]

I personally don't care.

[Pat]

But just be real, though.

[Mike]

No, I really don't care.

[Pat]

Just be real.

[Mike]

Okay. When we're in college, let's say it was two man. I don't care what you achieve.

[Pat]

Let's say it's a good match.

[Mike]

If I achieve my mission, it's fine.

[Pat]

But let's say it's a good match and you're like, damn, you actually hooked it up.

[Mike]

Yes.

[Pat]

Like, let's say it's. It's a girl that you've been messing with for a month, and you really like her, and then you meet her friend, and then you, like, man, you'd be perfect for my homeboy.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And then my homeboy, we go. Me and him, we go on a.

[Mike]

Double date with y'. All. Yeah.

[Pat]

And then we all leave. And then he hit me up and just be like, yo, bro, we vibe really well. We had sex too. And then we get on the first tonight.

[Mike]

I feel like. I feel like the. I feel like for me, the sex thing doesn't really apply because if I hooked you guys up, I really want y' all to be together. Yeah.

[Pat]

What you think gonna happen when we together.

[Mike]

Tonight?

[Pat]

We getting tonight. What if I call you with that in the background. Did you get something yet? You got something, bro. We getting tonight.

[Mike]

He should. I feel like gunna should have said.

[Pat]

I. I'm getting tonight.

[Mike]

Yeah, or she getting tonight.

[Pat]

Nah, that's sexist, bro. I don't think it would have sold as much. We getting tonight is universal. You smart.

[Mike]

I guess. I think it's just like. Again, it's just like a. I don't really care about my friend's sex life.

[Pat]

I get what you're saying.

[Mike]

So it's like one of those things, like, we getting, like, it could have.

[Gene]

Not been about sex in the first place.

[Mike]

Like.

[Gene]

Like, you know, people get up. They go outside and they get up.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

I guess.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah, he could.

[Pat]

He could.

[Mike]

Because that's true.

[Pat]

That's true. Gunner the type of person to make up his own lingo and like his crew. Know what I mean? Yeah. I hate when people do that. You ever met somebody that come up with their own words and Kibi doing that, bro. You a water burger. Like, what the.

[Mike]

Do that.

[Pat]

Do water burger me.

[Mike]

That. Hella Tourette's, bro.

[Pat]

Okay. Okay. Yo, I'd like to thank today's sponsor of the podcast, Earning Life. Doesn't happen to you bi weekly, so why should Payday? The money you've earned should be in your hands. And with earning, it can be.

[Mike]

Earn is an app that lets you access your pay as you earn it. Up to 300 a day with a max of a thousand dollars between paydays. Just download the earning app and add your info. Then start accessing your pay as you work and leave an optional tip to help keep the app running for everyone. Any money you access plus tips are automatically repaid from your next paycheck.

[Pat]

Make earning a part of your financial routine and join earnings over 4 million customers. Making any day a payday. Earning empowers you to make the most of your money with access up to 300 a day of your pay with a max of a thousand dollars between paydays. No interest, no credit, and no mandatory fees.

[Mike]

Download Earning today. Spell E a R N I n in the Google Play or Apple app store when you download the earning app. Type in Crash dummies under podcast when you sign in up. It really helps to show that's Crash dummies under podcast Earnings. A financial technology company, not a bank. Access limits are based on your earnings and risk factors.

[Pat]

Standard cash outs take one to two business days with no mandatory fees. Expedited transfers available for a fee. Tips are voluntary and don't affect the service available in select states, turns and restrictions apply. Visit earning.com for full details. Download Earning now and take control of your pay. Yo. Let's thank today's sponsor of the podcast Heel. Recently I was boxing and I was walking out of the gym on my way to go get lunch and I saw two people that asked me if I wanted to play basketball. And then I went to go play basketball and realized I haven't eaten. And I started to get that headache and I'm like, I'm not gonna make it to a restaurant before you get a headache. But I had a Huel in my backpack. Saved my life, bro.

[Mike]

And here's how the high protein starter kit from Huel came in handy. It's five Black edition ready to drinks plus the black edition chocolate powder. And it's honestly the first thing that's made it easy for me to stay consistent. On days I'm running out the door or heading to the gym, I just grab a black edition ready to drink. It's a complete meal. 35 grams of protein, 27 essential vitamins and minerals, no artificial sweeteners, and it's surprisingly filling for something that I didn't have to prep.

[Pat]

And on the days that I'm actually home and I got time, now I have time to use the black addition powder, which is way more customizable. Sometimes I'll make a whole smoothie and sometimes I just shake it with water. It depends on what mood I'm in. Having both the ready to drink and the powder in my kitchen keeps me from falling off my routine.

[Mike]

Get Huels high protein starter kit online with our code CRASH20 for 20% off at huel.com/crash20 new customers only. Thank you to Huell for partnering and supporting our show. Now back to the pod.

[Pat]

Another tweet of the week when your homeboy gets in front of a girl and starts using terminology he never used before and you can't stand it. I've seen, I've seen you do some like that. Me, not terminology, but your, your grasp of like having at least basic knowledge in a lot of things. Like you got a lot of basic knowledge in a lot of things. So, like, makes you versatile. I've seen you dive into conversations and you're only in the conversation. So because you probably know more than the person you're talking to. I'm like, he don't really want to talk to this person. He just want to say what he know. And no, but I feel, I feel.

[Mike]

Like with different people, like obviously we have conversation about different stuff, right? And, but we have different interests. So I feel like when I get to flex my, my niche because I watch. If you guys see my YouTube algorithm is very random. It's like super business. Why this business failed to like random among us videos. It's like it. That's the range.

[Pat]

Yeah. You used to watch Jake Paul and.

[Mike]

No, I never watched Jake Paul.

[Pat]

But you knew about him though.

[Mike]

I knew about.

[Pat]

But that's just your YouTube.

[Mike]

Yeah, I'm a YouTube head. Like I'm a YouTube head, so. So anytime you get to have those kind of conversations, sometimes you want to flex those muscles. But yeah, my, my social baddie then runs up after that, bro.

[Pat]

He'll get three walk away three hard ass facts and then he leave the person with me. I'll be like, where the you go?

[Mike]

No, I am notorious for that. Anybody comes to live show, I'm gonna try to give you guys as much like energy as possible. But don't be mad if I walk away.

[Pat]

I'm not. I'm not gonna lie. If you tell me a joke at the live show, I' ma laugh, bro. But that don't mean that funny.

[Mike]

I've definitely that though. Like, I've seen friends like forgot who it was. But one of my friends, he used like a word. Like with some girls around, he start use the words like dystopian. Like, this is very dystopian. Like a life like bruh. Like what?

[Pat]

No, I forgot who that was. They were just talking about real estate. Yeah, it's funny because the real estate facts he was like talking about was from a video that me and him both saw like probably like a week ago. And he was spitting that like he's been in a real estate game. I was like, that was so annoying. I'm just like, bro, if you gotta do that to get these girls, these girls don't even know what the you talking about, bro. I hate buy a shot.

[Mike]

I really dislike when people just learn something. Like a week ago, like you learned about stocks a week ago. Right now you're on the Internet giving stock advice. Or you're on the Internet or you, you became a trainer, you just start working on. You're not even like a certified trainer. And then the next week you're saying I'm selling the course. It's like offering services already. Yeah, like you're offering services to a thing. You haven't even put your 10,000 hours in. Like put in the work.

[Pat]

Don't get me started on them high school football coaches. You are the receivers coach for JV, you are not charging me 120 to change my to charge to train my son. No, you don't got it like that, bro.

[Mike]

I'm not saying like you can't acquire information, but I feel like before you start selling a service to somebody, you have to be like putting those hours and you have to have proof of like doing yourself. That's why the most. All these business people, all these people selling the course on the Internet, they only make money from selling their course. Do you think if they really knew how to build a shopify store from scratch, that would make you $10,000 passively a month, that they wouldn't just make 3,000 of those type of stores that would make them $10,000 a month like that?

[Pat]

Why would they be talking to you if they knew how to scale the business from $5,000 to a hundred thousand dollars in six months? Why the is he talking to you?

[Mike]

I'm not saying like having mentors is not a bad thing, but you just have to choose those mentors correctly. You got to make sure those mentors that are mentoring you are still in those business and that business is still profitable for them. Because if you're making more money teaching than you are in your actual business, it's like you're just making money off people. And the thing with courses, it's like a 98% like fail rate. Like Barbie Moore, it might be 99% like to people that are going to actually make millions of dollars of it. So it's like, you got to know you're going to this and there's a high probability of you failing, you know, and not thinking that. This is like, some people buy courses and be like, oh, once I buy this course, I'm gonna like make a hundred thousand dollars a month. It's like the chances of that happening are already low. So just go in there with that knowledge of like, hey, let me try to apply this to what I'm already doing that's working type of. So it's just, I don't know, People just gotta be smarter, man.

[Pat]

Also use Google. Google the person that's mentoring you and like, ask them about their business and like, oh, what are you. How did you use.

[Mike]

Use that?

[Pat]

Well, my old boss use it. Yeah, that's what I thought. You work for somebody. Some of these people obtain the information just by being around. That's like me going to an NFL game and staring at the offense and defensive coordinators and be like, oh, this is how you run this system. This is how you do that it's like, no, bro, you wasn't there. My. Chill out. Okay, this is a dude stats. End of the night stats from going out to a club.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Pat]

Eye contacts made 12.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Pat]

Weather app open six times. She can get it eight times. Girls who got it, zero. And I just, like, I. I wanna. I like, wanna put this out there. Like, when you go out, it's okay to have fun and even stare at someone that's attractive and just acknowledge that there's a. They are attractive and have a good time.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

I feel like a lot of people put pressure on something that wasn't going to happen the whole night. I've literally been with a dude who saw a girl that he liked and he was my friend and he fixated over the whole night.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And then her husband showed up and it's like. Like, you could have been having fun. He over there trying to send her signs. Like, I'm thinking about buying her a shot. It's like, I feel like tonight I.

[Mike]

Feel like guys shouldn't, like, have better knowledge about, like, when a girl's, like, into them. Like when they're having a conversation.

[Pat]

No facts.

[Mike]

I'm not saying you shouldn't keep trying because there are some, you know, you might be. You talk to a girl, you heard these stories. Like, I first talked to her and then she. She dubbed me. And it happens. Yeah, it happens. And you. You spin the block and it works out, you know, better setting, stuff like that. But I still think there are small signs even within those getting dubbed or getting rejected that I should spin the block.

[Pat]

I just think a lot of people aren't there socially. But I found this out is because, like, I grew up college. I had a lot of friends who were women, like, actual friends, not women that I'm trying to have sex with. Obviously. I have five sisters. So a lot of these dudes, they grow up and they've never been around women before that weren't their family members. So the only women that they've been around were women that they couldn't have sex with.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And the first women they start acknowledging and trying to be with or were women that they were trying to have sex with. So I feel like that's where the social thing kind of dies at. They don't even know how women are socially. Yeah, you don't even know. Like, this is just a nice woman, bro. She do not want you. Like, you got these dudes that think every girl want them off one side. Like, man, I think she want me, bro. Oh, why you Say that because one time I was searching for my wallet, and we was about to get coffee, and she just paid for it. Hey, she's nice.

[Mike]

My. I think the. The. The. The thing, too, about having, like, girls as friends, like, platonic. Platonic friends, is that I think you already acknowledge something that they do that you know, like, if we were in a relationship, I could not fly like that. So it's always funny, like, in most, like, platonic, like, friendship to male to female, there's always like a. Like a flaw in your head. Like a character flaw in your head is like, yeah, this. She's beautiful. She's attractive, but we would never, like, I want to keep. I'd rather keep this friendship because I know this would definitely not work out.

[Pat]

And do the dudes be pulling themselves, bro? Like, if you actually grow up with women, women don't miss.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Like, they are, like, crazy intelligent, especially when it comes to relationships. They see every email message that go across a screen. So if you actually believe that she didn't see no text for 11 hours. Good luck. My good luck on that adventure. It's like little signs like, that. It'd just be like, oh, when the last time you text her?

[Mike]

O.

[Pat]

She texted me back a couple days ago, but she still haven't responded to this message. Like, why. Why are you showing me this, bro? She hasn't messaged you in 24 hours, bro. She doesn't even know if you're alive right now.

[Mike]

Facts now.

[Pat]

You got to move on. There's just so many different things that I feel like people should move on from. And sometimes moving on might get you the girl. Yeah, like, just be like, yo, I don't play that.

[Mike]

I'm out the case from, like, most of my relationships probably besides this one.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

But, like, my past relationships, I was like, it was more like you kind of, like, gave the initial, like, room, like, hey, I like you type of thing, and then you kind of just, like, kind of backed off a little bit. Just kind of, like, did your thing and stuff like that.

[Pat]

But I feel like.

[Mike]

But obviously every girl is different, so that might not. Some girls like the. The pressure.

[Pat]

But I feel like that's. I feel like that's the biggest sign. I feel like a lot of people are afraid to get hurt.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

So they kind of let it linger. Like, no, she liked me. No, I need to know now. Like. Like, we've been doing this back and forth for three weeks. Like, I need to know. I'm not about to keep, like, trying to mention a date to you or something like that. Like, ask specific questions. Do you want to go on a date? Not try to keep mention. Like, damn, you know that one Italian restaurant, it's open. And, like, what you think she gonna say, oh, come save me, daddy?

[Mike]

I would say I was that guy. I was afraid of, like, rejection, in a sense. That's why I feel like I. I would say, like. Like, I've never actually been rejected, in a sense, because I haven't, like, shot my shot like that.

[Pat]

Right. Just crazy off the loop. Like, this person hasn't noticed me or sent me a sign yet. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like that. But I feel like that's the only way. At least one person has to do it to the other person. Yeah, but I feel like that's the only way to truly find your soulmate. Like, you keep doing this thing because I feel like movies kind of it up. Everybody thinks, like, fate is supposed to happen. Like, yeah, timing is great. Yeah, that's. This is very important. But all this fate. Like, like, damn, we. We went together in the sixth grade. Let's try it again at 32. Like, no, both you. Y' all got two different paths. Like, she never left their hometown. She's still there, bro. You live in Colorado now. Yeah, I don't need nothing. It's just like, bro. But at some point, somebody has to, like, shoot their shot without knowing the other person is going to receive it. As long as that happens, yeah, you good. But all that, like, we ordered the same thing at the coffee shop. Like, y' all gonna be divorced in three years, I'm telling you.

[Guest Woman]

Hello.

[Pat]

Yo, welcome to Crash on me's podcast.

[Guest Woman]

Hey, Pat. Hey, Mike. Y' all gotta excuse my voice. Like, normally I sound cuter, but, like, yeah, we have to talk about that.

[Pat]

Sounds cuter. Okay, Interesting. Okay.

[Guest Man]

All right.

[Guest Woman]

Yeah.

[Mike]

I got a question for you. What's something people are afraid to. What's something people are afraid to admit?

[Guest Woman]

Man love a good eater. Like, I don't see what's the smoke behind it. Every time a man meets a woman who's like, hold on. See, a man meets a woman who is like, a good eater, they be like, bro, I can't wife her. She just, like, eat it up. Too good. Like, that don't make sense.

[Mike]

Last time we talked about eater, some of our audience didn't really understand the, like, the definition of eater. So would you mind telling everybody what the definition of a eater is?

[Guest Woman]

You want the G rated version or you want the patent Mike version?

[Mike]

Whoa, wait. What the Is our version.

[Pat]

No. What's our version? Do our version. Yeah, let's hear it.

[Guest Woman]

Okay, okay, okay. So, like, Yalls versions would be like, I either. Okay, okay. A eater is a woman or a man who is very good. Like, if it's a man, he can find a button easily. Like, you know, ladies, you know what the butt it is.

[Pat]

Wait, wait, wait. Why the are you talking to us like that? You.

[Guest Woman]

You said you wanted to Pat and Mike, but.

[Pat]

Yeah. So you think we some hams or some shit? What the.

[Guest Woman]

I mean. I mean, hey, like, that guy said that one time on the podcast, y' all got hoes.

[Pat]

Like, I don't have hoes. Wait, what?

[Guest Woman]

You know, you got a girlfriend. You got a girlfriend. So we just. He was like, y' all got followers, so y' all got hoes. So I'm pretty sure y' all a good eater, too. Okay. But anyways. Anyways, back to your question. So if it's a female and she's a good eater, then, like, she does all the stuff that y' all like. Like, she can go down on the popsicle. She. She touches the blue part of the popsicle and makes it nasty while she do it.

[Mike]

Yeah. Okay.

[Pat]

All right.

[Gene]

I mean.

[Pat]

Yeah. Wait, wait, wait. What the are we doing? Who doesn't know what an eater is?

[Mike]

Why.

[Pat]

Why did this conversation explain it? But, no, you did a good job. No, you did a good job. Mike asked for. I'm talking to Mike.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Guest Woman]

Oh, okay. Facts.

[Pat]

Freaky ass Mike in the chat. Freaky ass Mike in the chat. The.

[Mike]

Blue part.

[Guest Woman]

Okay, now, if you don't believe. No, no, no, no, no, no.

[Pat]

I wasn't like, no, no, no, no. I heard the freezer open. The fans are done. No, no, I heard that freezer open quick as hell.

[Guest Woman]

Uh, no. I mean, if you want to see, you got to go on my page.

[Pat]

No.

[Guest Woman]

Whoa, whoa.

[Pat]

Oh, Lord have mercy.

[Guest Woman]

It's nothing nasty, but my dentist doesn't have any issues.

[Pat]

Oh, my God.

[Mike]

What?

[Gene]

Yeah, I'm.

[Pat]

I'm literally getting baptized this weekend because of this conversation.

[Guest Woman]

Y' all need it. I am not the worst that y' all had on the podcast. Wait. I do want to say I do appreciate how you guys take up for women and try to teach women better, but, you know, y' all got freaks on the cast, so.

[Pat]

Freaks.

[Guest Woman]

It's gonna be kind of hard.

[Mike]

But the question. The question was, what's something people are afraid to admit? You think men are afraid to admit.

[Guest Woman]

That a girl they like, they love a good eater? Yeah.

[Pat]

Though she Said they don't wife.

[Guest Woman]

No, no, no, no, no. They never wipe the good eaters. They be like, bro, no, I just gotta keep her in my pocket, cuz my girl don't eat the way that you know my sneaky linky or something like that.

[Pat]

Oh, you saying they. Maybe they just mean y' all too late.

[Guest Woman]

I mean, that pro y' all is not. Not the case. But yeah, mommy most definitely.

[Mike]

Oh, you're not. You're not. You're not an eater.

[Guest Woman]

I'm not saying that.

[Pat]

Why are you asking her? Oh, somebody clip this and put this on. This is freaky. Today. She literally got done talking and she was like. And then you was like, chill, chill, chill.

[Guest Woman]

I don't sound like that.

[Mike]

It's the point of podcast. So you're just having dialogue.

[Pat]

So you're not an eater.

[Guest Woman]

No facts.

[Mike]

I agree. Obviously she's saying it.

[Guest Woman]

I make men study the same way after I eat them. But, you know, my throat's been sore, so I can't do that because that's.

[Pat]

What the you get, my lord.

[Mike]

You just tweak it. We have to put this on the back of the pot.

[Pat]

Now this gotta go all the way back. You was tweaking. I tried to say that win. And they're going back for more. You. You like.

[Guest Woman]

Hello.

[Pat]

Ah, damn. Yo, yo, yo, yo.

[Guest Woman]

Damn.

[Pat]

What?

[Guest Woman]

Already?

[Pat]

No, we. No, we. We literally. Okay. Let me tell you what happened. I was showing Mike a tik tok and I didn't know he called you yet. And then we hopped on. It wasn't towards you, though.

[Guest Woman]

Okay, okay. All right.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Guest Woman]

How are y'? All.

[Mike]

You know what?

[Guest Woman]

This is so crazy.

[Pat]

First of all, before we start this.

[Mike]

This happy Woman's International Year.

[Guest Woman]

Wow.

[Mike]

And I hope you're going to the next year with, you know, with achieving all your genes in the big 2026.

[Guest Woman]

Wow.

[Mike]

So y'.

[Pat]

All. Y' all seen them steal my thunder right there.

[Mike]

Anyway, I got a question for you though.

[Pat]

Millennium happy.

[Mike]

What's something people are afraid to admit?

[Guest Woman]

People are afraid to admit or like, they regret having kids. And that's fine because not everybody is meant to have kids. I feel like a lot of people, they have kids way too young and they'll be like, oh, well, at least I won't be 50 at my kids graduation. Like it doesn't matter.

[Pat]

Yeah. Can't. Can't no teen mom guilt me into that. That's all right. If I was a teenager with a kid, I'd have been cooked. I don't even know how you Hear.

[Mike]

Real shit.

[Guest Woman]

Oh, yeah.

[Mike]

You think people regret having their kids, or is it more of a regret, like, the time they had their kids?

[Guest Woman]

I think both, because I feel like a lot of people aren't in the, like, you know, and not in the same mindset as where they were earlier. Because, like, I went to the high school, a lot of people got pregnant when they were teenagers, so it was a little, you know, they're like 16, 17, giving birth to kids, which is crazy because you're, like, hardly passing classes, but that's. Whatever.

[Mike]

Do you have kids?

[Guest Woman]

But I just feel like I do not. Heck no.

[Pat]

How old are you?

[Guest Woman]

I'm in school right now. I'm 23, bro.

[Pat]

How is this your conversation? What are you talking about?

[Guest Woman]

Like, I'm in grad school right now, so it's like, I can't imagine myself having a kid.

[Pat]

And then especially you're just making up scenarios. You bored in school. You 23? What, you worried about this one? This on your mind?

[Guest Woman]

Because. No, because like I said, I went to high school with a lot of people that had kids when they were 16, 17.

[Mike]

I bet if you had kids, you probably wouldn't regret it, though.

[Guest Woman]

I wouldn't have kids. So that's not really.

[Pat]

I mean, that's a good mindset to have. Yeah.

[Guest Woman]

Is overseas right now, so I'm not happy.

[Pat]

Oh, sister, I got. I got news for you. Is he.

[Guest Woman]

Go ahead.

[Pat]

Is he in the army?

[Guest Woman]

He's in the Air Force, yeah.

[Pat]

Oh, you about to have that kid soon?

[Guest Woman]

Heck, no.

[Guest Man]

No.

[Pat]

Please don't put that on me.

[Guest Woman]

Please do not put that on me.

[Pat]

Hey, them benefits gonna be good as hell. Good telling you.

[Mike]

The Camaro suv.

[Pat]

Yeah. You gonna have everything. You're gonna have you a nice. You're gonna have you a nice Kia Soul with three kids.

[Guest Woman]

Do not put that on me.

[Mike]

Living in Tampa.

[Guest Woman]

Please do not put that on me.

[Pat]

Living in Tampa, Florida.

[Mike]

Good rate on those houses.

[Guest Woman]

No, we're actually in Florida. Stop.

[Pat]

That's what I'm saying. Look, you already close to your life.

[Guest Woman]

No, we actually are stationed in Florida. I'm like. Yeah, well, I'm. He's stationed in Florida, but I'm in school in Alabama. He's overseas right now.

[Pat]

Okay.

[Guest Woman]

I was gonna say that. I, like, really like you guys. You were really funny. I appreciate you guys. I hope you guys have a great new year and. Yeah. That's all.

[Pat]

Oh, appreciate it. Advice to you. Send a small picture of yourself, like a selfie to your man so he could put in your wallet. Because that boy getting ready to go to war, I'll tell you that. They might be flying out any day now. Get ready. Make it back home. John, how you.

[Mike]

Have a good one.

[Guest Woman]

All right. Y', all, too.

[Guest Man]

Yo, what's happening with the folks, man?

[Mike]

They said one word. You said, like, a whole sentence in one word.

[Pat]

What happening with them folks, man?

[Guest Man]

What up, Man, I almost busted my ass. Run up the stairs and.

[Mike]

Oh, you running away from people. It's not like those people there.

[Guest Woman]

Yeah.

[Guest Man]

Hell, yeah. You know, the family and.

[Pat]

Oh, yeah. How many people you got over? Just like a party or something?

[Guest Man]

No, this is my mother, my grandmother, my little brother, man.

[Pat]

Where you from? New York or something?

[Guest Man]

I'm from Baltimore.

[Pat]

Baltimore. Okay. That's right. Okay, my bad. Okay. Finish this sentence. Am I crazy? What? It's yours.

[Guest Woman]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Oh, my bad.

[Pat]

Okay. All right, I got a question for you. What's something people are afraid to admit?

[Guest Man]

Man, pregnant would be having the best koozie with my mama.

[Pat]

Okay, brother, slow down there. Wait, just.

[Mike]

Just.

[Pat]

Just try to, like, rephrase that. Like, let's just say we was on a podcast or some. I don't know.

[Guest Woman]

All right?

[Guest Man]

Pregnant girls do it better.

[Guest Woman]

You know what I'm saying?

[Guest Man]

Like, and I ain't got no kids, right? But I haven't been with a couple of the pregnant girls, man.

[Guest Woman]

Them.

[Guest Man]

That joint. That joint locked up like Fort Knox.

[Pat]

That joint.

[Mike]

How are you running into this many, like, pregnant women?

[Guest Man]

They just like a. Like, I don't know what you think.

[Pat]

It is about you that seems so inviting.

[Guest Man]

I must look like a fool. I must look like the stepdaddy type. I don't know.

[Mike]

You sure none of these women are, like, pregnant with your kid?

[Guest Man]

I mean, like, the first one. Yeah, but I still don't even know about that. But she. She ran away. She did her thing. She said that she had it, and I was like, all right, cool. But all the rest of them, nah, they somebody else, kid. They got a happy family now and all that.

[Mike]

No.

[Pat]

When you think we're gonna skip past that, brother? Where's your kid? What the.

[Guest Woman]

You know saying?

[Guest Man]

I don't even know. Look, yo, I got to college, and shorty hit me saying that. That she had twins, and I was like, damn, congratulations.

[Mike]

Oh.

[Guest Man]

She was like, oh, but I think they're yours. Yeah, I ain't know.

[Mike]

I.

[Pat]

Obviously you didn't know, but when you found out, you should. You don't think about where they at.

[Guest Man]

Right now, man, every day, I swear to God. Look, but listen, I tried to do the right thing on my mom. I was like, look, all right, so what you want to do? Like, I come home from college right now. We'll get this together.

[Guest Woman]

You feel me?

[Guest Man]

And she was like, no, I got it. I was like, all right, say less, man. I ain't her. I ain't heard from her since. I ain't seen on Facebook. Like, eight years, man.

[Pat]

Eight years. Oh, my God.

[Mike]

Your kid is probably watching this. What you guys say to your kid.

[Pat]

That's crazy watching this.

[Mike]

Eight years.

[Guest Man]

Hey, daddy.

[Pat]

Love you.

[Mike]

Oh, no.

[Guest Man]

I hope you eat your vegetables.

[Pat]

Do you even know, like, have you ever looked her up on Facebook or Instagram or try to.

[Guest Man]

I tried. I forgot her last name. And honestly, I don't really think I ever knew her last name.

[Pat]

Now you. You. I think you're gonna find out her last name on draft night. You're gonna be watching the NBA. Like, that's her right there. Get my voice.

[Mike]

Nah. You definitely should try to make it a point to see if that. Those are really your.

[Pat]

It's not.

[Mike]

But don't.

[Pat]

But we not saying it's all your fault, though. Don't. Don't put it like that. You know, people be in the comments talking about how he posted. No. And stuff like that.

[Mike]

Like that.

[Pat]

But I feel like there's some. Like, you definitely gotta do some more investigating. Just a little bit.

[Mike]

A little bit.

[Pat]

Yeah. I think you. I think you might regret it. I'm not saying. We're not saying you're not going hard, but we just, you know, commending your effort if you are, and we telling you to go hard if you're not.

[Guest Man]

Look, I was just gonna wait till one of them turn 18 and they get curious and they want to do a DNA test. They do their thing. I'll be here. I'll be like, my babies. You know what I'm saying? Like, I've been looking for y'. All.

[Pat]

I mean, that's what it end up being. Hopefully you get that, bro. Hopefully you get something.

[Mike]

Hopefully. That in, like, a Hallmark movie.

[Pat]

Yeah, hopefully. Them boys. Hopefully, them boys are hooping right now. They hopefully, they hate you right now. You know what I mean? And then you can tell them the truth. Like, it wasn't that. It was your mom's. And they like, mom, why did you do that? And then they dropped 40.

[Mike]

No.

[Pat]

Yeah, look, I got.

[Guest Man]

I got. I got two. I got two LeBron's coming up right now.

[Pat]

Son, just stay out the way. Matter of fact.

[Mike]

All right, bro. You have a good one, man.

[Pat]

Go ahead. Stay out they way, bro, you holding back. Hey, yo, welcome to Crash on Me's podcast.

[Guest Woman]

Hi.

[Pat]

Hello. Hello, Hello. All right, I got. I'm. What's funny, Mike?

[Guest Woman]

Sorry.

[Pat]

No, no, no, no. I'm. I'm asking Mike what's funny, because me and you talking and over here laughing, You know, you start showing off in front of company. Stupid ass.

[Mike]

Little. Little.

[Pat]

Always in the way. Anywho, While I was interrupted.

[Guest Woman]

Wait, is this Pat?

[Mike]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Guest Woman]

Hi.

[Pat]

What up?

[Gene]

Hi.

[Pat]

What's the deal?

[Guest Woman]

Nothing. What you doing?

[Pat]

Okay, we got a question for you. What the Was that?

[Mike]

Are.

[Pat]

Yo, why would you blindside me like that? Like, what the. Oh, man, that's too crazy. Okay, I'm gonna start a sentence, all right?

[Guest Woman]

Oh, okay.

[Pat]

Okay. Am I crazy? If. So you start the sentence like that. I don't know why you said that. What the was that? Okay, go ahead.

[Guest Woman]

Huh?

[Pat]

Go ahead. Am I crazy if.

[Guest Woman]

Oh, okay. No, I said, am I crazy if I stalk the guys that I'm talking to their moms on Instagram? Like, if I first start talking to, like, a guy.

[Pat]

You stalk their moms?

[Guest Woman]

Yeah.

[Mike]

What type of information are you looking for?

[Guest Woman]

I'm just trying to see, like, you know, like, the family dynamic, you know? Like, I feel like if you first start talking to somebody, like, Instagram only shows you so much, so you. You gotta dig a little deeper.

[Mike]

So you.

[Pat]

So you. Like. What exactly are you trying to see? Are you trying to go back in time and see how they grew up, or are you actually looking at the mom?

[Guest Woman]

Yes.

[Pat]

Oh, so you're looking for the person.

[Guest Woman]

No, no, not the mom. I'm looking for them. I'm looking for them. Like, you know, moms post their kids on Facebook.

[Pat]

Got it, got it, got it.

[Mike]

Is there anything you've ever found out that made you not want to talk to a guy anymore?

[Guest Woman]

I found out that one of them was, like, a really, like, severe mama's boy, which kind of, like, rubbed me the wrong way.

[Pat]

What did you.

[Guest Woman]

I was only talking to him for a couple days.

[Pat]

What did you find that made you say that?

[Guest Woman]

It was just like. Like, every pose. Like, I. I guess he was the only child, but every pose. Like, they're, like, super, like, close. Like, physically. Like, it was a picture of them, like, kissing on the lips. I know some people do that, but I don't. I don't know.

[Pat]

He was not trying to join, huh?

[Guest Man]

No, no.

[Guest Woman]

Not. Not at all, actually. Not at all. Yeah.

[Pat]

You know, that was gonna happen next. She was gonna knock that door, you like, oh, we busy. Like, yeah, I know.

[Guest Woman]

Or, you know, some of them just be, like, very, like, obsessive, like, with, like, their parents. Like, they can't move unless they mom say yes. Like, I don't like that.

[Mike]

What?

[Pat]

What's something. So what are you looking for when you look at a mom's page in the.

[Guest Woman]

Dude, I'm looking for achievements. I'm looking for that AB honor roll in middle school. You know, it shows good morals, I guess.

[Pat]

I know. Dude on the AB honor roll that's a fucking serial killer. So I just want you to know I used to love.

[Guest Woman]

Oh, so you know, like, all through high school, like, you know, like, cute little prom pictures. Like, you know.

[Pat]

No, I get it.

[Guest Woman]

Okay.

[Mike]

But, you know, like, moms.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

I feel like moms post a lot more than sometimes most. More than, like, the guy that you're talking to. So, like, for the guy that you thought might have been a mama's boy, was it. Was it more of the. The positioning of their pictures or just the amount of pictures?

[Guest Woman]

No, it was the amount and the position. Like, every single picture. Like, I'm not. I'm not. It was weird. It was creepy. No, not his page. I'm talking about her page.

[Mike]

That might be her pride and joy.

[Pat]

Yeah. You never know.

[Guest Woman]

Oh, okay.

[Mike]

Has this worked out for you? Are you in a relationship now? Like, damn.

[Guest Woman]

No, I'm not in a relationship.

[Pat]

Damn. That is like, you'd be asking some intruding ass questions, bro.

[Mike]

This is a podcast.

[Pat]

So what happened the last situation you was in?

[Guest Woman]

No, I mean, it's just been a lot of situationships. I haven't found anything really bad since that one guy. Like, everybody else been doing good. They. They mom's pages look cool.

[Pat]

Everybody.

[Mike]

Why not?

[Pat]

Why not the dads? She said everybody.

[Guest Woman]

Okay.

[Mike]

Why not? Why not the dads?

[Guest Woman]

Because dads don't be posting on Facebook. Or they. They don't. They don't. There's not that much information on that page. I do. I do up though.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Guest Woman]

I just don't spend as much time on the dad's page.

[Pat]

Got it, Got it.

[Mike]

Are you like a whole fan type of person?

[Guest Woman]

I'm not gonna lie. Yes. Yes. Like, if I can find everybody. Like Nana, grandma, like grandpa, like, everybody.

[Pat]

Sometimes it matter, man.

[Mike]

If somebody. If somebody found your mom, what would they think about you?

[Guest Woman]

They would think exactly how I portray myself. Like, my mom is definitely the reason I'm very, like, bougie. Like, she would. They would find all of, like, the pict of me and Crowns, tiaras. She was that type of mom.

[Mike]

So where you from?

[Guest Woman]

It was. It's a good portfolio, huh?

[Mike]

Where you from?

[Guest Woman]

I'm Caribbean.

[Mike]

Okay. It was. It was some. It was some vibe.

[Pat]

I was kind of catching some vibe. He started dancing when he was singing. He said it was some vibe. Oh, no. Okay, I see. I see nothing.

[Guest Man]

Play with you.

[Pat]

I thought, bro. I forgot. I forgot. This the same call. That was so long ago.

[Mike]

You have a good one.

[Guest Woman]

All right. Bye, guys.

[Mike]

Hello.

[Pat]

Yo, D. What's up? What's the deal? What's the deal?

[Guest Man]

Nothing. Chilling, trying to make it through the day type.

[Pat]

Start the sentence with am I crazy? If.

[Guest Man]

All right, so.

[Guest Woman]

Boom.

[Guest Man]

Am I crazy if I purposely go through breakups just for the plot? Now, now, hear me out. I know it sounds crazy, but think about it. Anytime you lost your assuredy or you lost a favorite, this and that, what always happened in return, you got your black ass in that gym. You. You bettered yourself as a man. All right, so is it wrong if you purposely go through that just to have that. That arc? You feel me? Everybody has a villain. Everybody has more than one artist. Everybody has arc. But is it wrong if you go through that just to experience that arc now with it?

[Pat]

It's like you're going over a speed boost, huh?

[Guest Man]

Exactly. It motivates you in a way.

[Pat]

All right, I get what you're saying, but that's. But that's your. So women must be your vice. Like, that's what you.

[Mike]

You.

[Pat]

That's. That's what you fall for. That's what actually breaks your heart. Because everybody doesn't get their heart broken like that in those situations.

[Guest Man]

I mean, it just depends on how you show me. Everybody has had a. Had a bad breakup or a bad detachment.

[Mike]

So.

[Pat]

Okay, the next question is, how many times has this happened to you?

[Guest Man]

You want to lie? You only tell the truth.

[Mike]

Oh, the truth, brother.

[Guest Man]

What's today? I say about a couple. A good five, six times, but, you know, it builds character in that overall.

[Mike]

Or it does great.

[Guest Man]

Overall.

[Mike]

Overall.

[Guest Man]

A good overall this year.

[Mike]

In a span of how many years?

[Guest Man]

It's been about. Been about five years. About five, six years.

[Pat]

You.

[Gene]

Five for five.

[Pat]

That's a good deal right here.

[Mike]

And you're purposely ending these relationships. Like, are you self.

[Guest Woman]

No.

[Guest Man]

You know, stuff.

[Pat]

Okay.

[Guest Man]

It is a lot of self sabotage. I ain't gonna lie. At the end of the day, I will forever be a. But other times, it don't be me. It really don't be me. Like, I don't Know how to explain it, but it don't be me.

[Pat]

Five times in five years.

[Guest Man]

Listen, I wouldn't call myself the rebound, but, like, what's that? What's a word for something that gets you through?

[Pat]

You're a loose ball.

[Guest Man]

Pretty much.

[Pat]

Deflection. Deflected pass.

[Mike]

So after. How many breakups did you go through this year?

[Guest Man]

You know, this. This has been a good year so far. 1. It wasn't really, like, a breakup. It was, you know. You ever lost your favorite?

[Mike]

I don't. I'm asking this question to get to another question. And the first. Last year after you had the breakup, right? What did you do? Like, how did you become a better person? Do you feel like. Like.

[Guest Man]

A better person? I ain't gonna lie. I was. I was on straight demon time for, like, for the whole last year.

[Mike]

I ain't a lot.

[Guest Man]

I was doing things purposely for the purpose. Like, I was the. I was the equivalent to, like, I was a crasher kid. You're not, but in a good and a bad way. I was like Kurt Angle. But not WWE Kurt Angle. Like, TNA Kurt Angle. Like, I just didn't care.

[Pat]

Boy called his whole Kurt. What the.

[Mike]

He said, I will always be bro.

[Pat]

Get off my phone, bro.

[Mike]

Always be a. And then said Kurt Angle.

[Guest Man]

Listen, we're not gonna act like Kurt Angle was not invited to the cookout.

[Pat]

By who?

[Mike]

What the.

[Pat]

Yeah, I just be inviting any damn body.

[Guest Man]

So we all know you're gonna turn this into another. Into another topic. Like, for no reason.

[Pat]

Has never done. Like, I've never seen, like, Kurt Angle.

[Mike]

At, like, a. Kurt Angle is not John Cena, bro.

[Pat]

Yeah, come on, now.

[Guest Man]

Okay, okay. But.

[Pat]

But.

[Guest Man]

But we're letting Jeff Hardy slide. Jeff Hardy is always invited. Just. Hardy's damn near black. Am I wrong, bro?

[Pat]

I'm right.

[Mike]

He's still white, but Jeff Hardy still has more.

[Pat]

Like, no, he's not black.

[Guest Man]

No.

[Guest Woman]

Wrong.

[Guest Man]

You're not gonna sit here and tell me that Kurt Angle is not good for the culture.

[Pat]

Good. I don't know what Kurt Angle is, but I feel like there's so many other black people.

[Guest Woman]

Like.

[Mike]

All right, bro.

[Guest Man]

Yeah, you're right. I mean, at least I ain't say nobody like, like, bro, we good, bro.

[Pat]

We good on this combo, bro. We've been moved on.

[Guest Man]

We just.

[Mike]

Bro, you have a good one.

[Pat]

All right, Brody. Love, bro.

[Mike]

Yo. Welcome to Grass on Me's podcast.

[Guest Woman]

Hi.

[Pat]

What's the deal?

[Guest Woman]

I'm very excited.

[Mike]

I got a question for you. You. What's something that people are afraid to Admit.

[Guest Woman]

Okay. I said that even at their big age, sometimes men are scared to admit their feelings for someone. It's kind of a long story. Not a long story, but a funny story.

[Mike]

What do you mean?

[Guest Woman]

Afraid to admit? Like, they know that they have feelings for someone, but they won't admit it. It, like, they'll say it, but they won't act on it, I guess is kind of what I meant.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Pat]

Oh, you said you got a story.

[Guest Woman]

Yes.

[Pat]

Okay.

[Guest Woman]

So I met this guy on Twitter, which is already embarrassing enough on its own, but we, like, connected over us both listening to this podcast.

[Pat]

So I don't like to start.

[Guest Woman]

I don't know. That's how we started. That's how we started.

[Mike]

Our podcast.

[Guest Woman]

Yes.

[Pat]

Oh, interesting. Interesting connection there, but go ahead.

[Guest Woman]

So that was how we, like, started talking more. We had, like, mutual people in common. Whatever. But then I was like, oh, yeah, I listen to this podcast all the time when I go to work. And he's like, oh, I listen to podcasts, too. What do you listen to? Blah, blah, blah, whatever. So we've been talking.

[Pat]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Gay mou. He just. He just started listening to us. We caught you, buddy. He said, yeah, I listened to them, too.

[Mike]

What you say?

[Pat]

Crash Dummies?

[Guest Woman]

Well, I actually said, there's this. I listened to Hassan's podcast. So I was telling him, like, oh, I listened to that. And then this other one that I found out through him, he's like, is it Crash Dummies? So, like, I wasn't like, I listen to Crash Dummies. He's the one that brought it up.

[Pat]

First, you know, so love over Crash Dummies. It's crazy.

[Guest Woman]

Yeah. If this makes the podcast, then maybe he'll, like, act on it, you know?

[Mike]

Oh, damn.

[Pat]

You got a message to him.

[Guest Woman]

Yeah, he knows where to find me, but he needs to act on it.

[Mike]

What do you think is holding him back?

[Guest Woman]

You know, he's got a lot going on. He's a really busy person, but.

[Pat]

Is that what he told you?

[Guest Woman]

It's embarrassing, but it's funny.

[Pat]

Did he tell you he was.

[Guest Woman]

No, I believe it. He. Without saying too much, he said, like, he can't give me the, like, attention that I deserve, which I respect, but.

[Mike]

Like, blame on him. I feel it.

[Guest Woman]

But I know what's best for me, you know, And I think he just needs to see it through.

[Pat]

That boy good. I ain't gonna lie to you. He got you, you know, to the point he don't. He don't want you to hate him. You know what I'm saying? He just.

[Guest Woman]

I know.

[Pat]

And maybe just taking his time.

[Guest Woman]

I could never hate him.

[Pat]

And maybe you in the right position, because maybe he'll go through something. He'll come around. He's just like, oh, that's always been my wife. And then happily ever after.

[Guest Woman]

Yeah, well, maybe this will speed it up, you know?

[Pat]

Hey, I'm gonna have a good dream tonight, and you should, too.

[Guest Woman]

Thank you.

[Mike]

Yo, yo. Welcome to Crash Podcast. Thank you.

[Guest Man]

Hey, any kind, huh?

[Mike]

Ain't it hella late? It's like, yo, I got a question for you, bro. What's something. What's something people are afraid to admit?

[Guest Man]

Hey, bro, pegging is the new wave, bro.

[Mike]

Pegging.

[Guest Man]

It's.

[Mike]

It's the new way, bro.

[Pat]

Okay, that's what I thought he said.

[Mike]

Okay, let me tell you, though, because.

[Guest Man]

Like, I got a girl, you know, Pussy.

[Guest Woman]

Cool.

[Guest Man]

But, like, the G spots in the butt.

[Mike]

I'm just saying, anytime, like, she, like.

[Guest Man]

You, like, around, like, who?

[Mike]

Anytime? What? It's like, oh, no, it's just new. What's the sentence you said before that?

[Pat]

Anytime, like, he gets around that area.

[Guest Man]

The butthole.

[Mike]

You know what I'm saying?

[Guest Man]

Type. Yep.

[Pat]

I hear my echo, bro.

[Guest Man]

You ask me, bro, what's. What's going on?

[Mike]

Oh, what age did you guys stop believing in Santa.

[Pat]

Pretty early on, I think I was like. I think I was like 8 or 9, and I pissed my mom off, and she was like, oh, you not gonna get nothing for Christmas. I was like, well, that's up to Santa. She said, ain't no Santa, nigga.

[Mike]

I. I think for me, it was a lot younger for some reason. I would say, like five, I think being in Nigeria, growing up in Nigeria. Nigeria, I mentioned.

[Pat]

Damn.

[Mike]

You see the going down the chimney thing and stuff like that? I'm like, one, it's hot as fuck here. Two, there's no chimneys and shit like that. And the real reason I really started to realize that Santa wasn't real was like, when my badass friends were still getting gifts and my badass little brother was getting gifts, I was like, wait, hey, he did all this this year? I know what type of year he had. And he still got a gift.

[Pat]

I was like, nah, I know a. That caught a body. Still got an iPad. Santa talking about until proven guilty, the Santa.

[Gene]

I feel like you gotta do so much, like, perfect for kids to actually believe in Santa Claus, though, you know?

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Gene]

Like, because you want to teach your kids discipline. You know what I'm saying? That's what my mom did for me. She was like a single mom by the age of like 8. So I feel like I always knew that she worked hard to get the things that, you know, that we got. And then, you know, Christmas came around.

[Mike]

Wait, when your mom have you? Huh? When did your mom have you?

[Gene]

No, I'm saying she was like a single mom by the age of eight.

[Pat]

When you was eight.

[Mike]

I thought you said she was a single mom when she was.

[Gene]

I said. I said. I did say by the age, but I meant my age.

[Mike]

Y.

[Pat]

Opening. Y' all opening just together. Tell my mama what you get. I don't know.

[Mike]

We just glossed over that.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

That's some, like, real trump traumatic to talk about. Like.

[Pat]

Yeah, bro, nap time was crazy.

[Mike]

How long you now for?

[Pat]

No, but what you were saying, though.

[Gene]

I was just saying, like, you know, I knew that she worked hard to get the presence that we.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Gene]

That we asked for type stuff.

[Mike]

I feel like the sand. That's when the Santa Claus, like, telling your kids about Santa kind of ends when they, like, understand where the gifts are coming from and, like, the work that takes to, like, once they know about responsibility a little bit.

[Gene]

Yeah. I think there's different cultures kind of like.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Gene]

How they present, you know, Christmas sometimes, you know, the F on the shelf stuff. I think it's cool, funny, and like that.

[Mike]

Yeah. Some people be traumatizing their kids.

[Pat]

A single mom. A single mom is how you find out way earlier. Like, you're like seeing my mom like, before Christmas, trying to like, wrap up and like that, telling me stay in my room so you, you know, like.

[Gene]

Taking you like Christmas.

[Mike]

Sh.

[Pat]

I'm saying either I'm. That's why I told my mom. Cuz I got fed up. I'm like, either there is no Santa or you Santa. Cuz I keep going in the room y' all doing out here that I be crazy. Like, damn. I think that's Santa on top of my mama.

[Mike]

Who sang that song. What Saw Santa kissing. I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus. Oh.

[Pat]

The only one I know is Grandma got ran over by reindeer. She got dementia. Like a. No, I'm playing the Jacksons.

[Mike]

The Jacksons. Okay. Originally, though, was it originally?

[Pat]

I forgot we looking up. I was like, damn, he just pulled that out his hat.

[Gene]

1952. Jimmy Boyd.

[Pat]

1952. Goddamn, is he white.

[Mike]

Come on now.

[Pat]

Like, I made TV cover 1952. Which. Which I got to know about here. This. He probably stole it from a black dude. Real right. He saw. But I saw some Elvis Presley he stole his from a black woman. I said God damn of Steve.

[Mike]

Oh.

[Guest Woman]

Oh.

[Pat]

That's how he look. Oh, that's mad TV logo. He look just like that.

[Mike]

One of my friends too. My friend Dave. His birthday is on the 24th and I 24th of December. And I used to get jealous a lot because I thought he would get like two gifts. But then I start. You know, you start getting old. You start realizing having your birthday too close to a holiday, especially growing up in a black household, that do not matter, bro. You get. You get one gift. They just. My birthday is on the 2023rd of November. And sometimes my parents would combine my with Christmas gifts. Like. Like it's only a month apart.

[Pat]

I mean but technically everybody getting their combined.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

If you think about even if your in June your parents not going to like give you extra cuz it's far away.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

You know, I mean you was getting the same. I just didn't like the Thanksgiving one. I was never in school.

[Mike]

I hated that. And then I forgot our birthdays do fall.

[Pat]

Yeah. And then two, everybody used to wish me happy holidays and. And then realize it was my birthday. Like I'd be at like a. A big family dinner, everybody praying and stuff like that. And then I'm at the end of the prayer and like. And which pat little p. A happy birthday.

[Gene]

They got a pecan pie for his birthday. Yeah.

[Pat]

Bro. What the.

[Mike]

How the.

[Gene]

You know, that.

[Pat]

Was weird. I literally like, I swear to God like five years in a row is a pecan pie for your birthday.

[Mike]

That's crazy.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Gene]

With the candle on it.

[Mike]

The school. The school thing is definitely hurtful because everybody like got their birthdays acknowledged in school especially. Obviously the summer babies too. It was kind of sucks for them because it was like in June. It's just like a combined birthday with everybody. Yeah. But then for our birthday is just like sometimes like you weren't in school and then you come back. It's just like.

[Pat]

Oh.

[Mike]

And it was this person's birthday.

[Pat]

Yeah. You get it at the end and then you combine our combined too. Our combined with everybody damn near from the 21st all the way to like damn near the 27th. You know what I mean? So we all combined together.

[Gene]

Birthday potluck.

[Pat]

That was terrible.

[Mike]

Was we.

[Pat]

Was we out of college? I think that's. But I think that's when we left college. No, we came back in December.

[Mike]

Right.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

We had the fall break though around our.

[Pat]

I feel like something. I was never. We were never in school during my birthday. Never. Never Never.

[Mike]

And it was. Oh, even. Even out of school, it was kind of lit. It was always lame, especially when we went to clubs and like that. It was really no one in there because everybody was home for the holidays. So it was never really. It was never really popping.

[Pat]

Okay, listen to this. Somebody tweeted, said, being a private person and letting them assume, like with the greater science, like, being a private person, letting them assume what's going on. And then a person quoted the tweet and said, people don't think about you as much as you. You like to believe no one cares.

[Mike]

I saw you post that.

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah. And, And. And that's real. Because I even know people that think that if they Thinking of a person, that person is thinking of them. And that's where like the obsessive culture, like, comes in. It's like, oh, I'm thinking about this girl so, so much, so much. She gotta be thinking about me too. And it's just like, bro, if I could tell you how many random thoughts I have and somebody ever thought like, I was solely thinking about them, it's like, bro, I'm trying to figure out why Trump bombed Nigeria. I don't give a. About you.

[Mike]

I think that was. I used to have that problem. I think I used to have the. A problem of how people perceive me. And then I got some good advice, you know, going to therapy and like that. So it was like one of those things where it's like, people are going to perceive you regardless, so just like, be okay with it. And that's just something that I just live by now. Like, I'm more comfortable in my own skin more now than I've ever been in a sense where it's like nothing nobody can really say can, like, phase me in a sense, obviously, from people I love. They have some real shit. But, like, strangers, like, that doesn't really bother me anymore. Like. Or people that are not really part of my everyday life. I don't really care what they think. And it does take some time to kind of grow into that. And I feel like, you know, I'll give people grace and stuff like that. But like, like you said, like, people aren't really thinking about you as much as you think they are. They are.

[Guest Woman]

No.

[Mike]

At all.

[Pat]

Now it's like, it's actually fun now because I. I really get to be myself because I'm almost. I almost. Because people assume that I am the way I am on the show all the time. So sometimes when people walk up to me, they'll give me this Burst of energy. Like what you do today. And they trying to joke and they're just like, it's 7:00am I slapped the out you, right? What like you trying to tell me a dark human drunk, I don't give a fuck about none of that shit. And it's just like now like, I'm even more leaning into being myself because it actually gets people out and in of your life way faster when you do that. Like sometimes like being around a group of people, I feel like when I first started going around the gyms in Milwaukee, I used to try to be like, you know, a certain way, like maybe more quiet and maybe more put off and stuff like that. And it's just like, bro, like, I'm gonna just be myself, myself if I happen to be the star of the room. It's okay, bro. Some people gonna be mad that you the star of the room.

[Mike]

Get like that because they.

[Pat]

Because they usually to start a room or they didn't want to be the starter room today. And they usually come easier and then they see somebody else taking over. Like, there's going to be something. You walk into a room with 10 people. Yeah, one person is not gonna like you, bro. Like, there's definitely a Nazi member in this crowd. Just like, I just don't with this. You're a good dude. But man, look at the skin.

[Mike]

I think that's why sometimes friendships fail too. And I think that's why, like, ours works so well is that we don't care about whoever gets the shine in a sense like that or like the shine. We all gonna shine or somebody's shining. Like when I box and doing my camp and like that a lot of tension is on me. Like, especially in the city and like that and having Pat support me no matter what. Like, Pat wants me to, you know, excel and like that. And Pat's doing like his comedy like that. We're going to push that too. Like, I'll push it on the. I don't care if that's like the every clip on the. The pod for the month. Some people don't want to share that shine, though. Like, it's weird though. It's like, it's like, bro, everything collectively our. If Pat shines and does a Netflix special, I'm happy for him because I also. Because I know that shine's gonna come back, man. Come on now.

[Pat]

You don't think I want this to fight Jake Paul, bro? If he fight Jake Paul, I'm snuffing Logan Paul in the six round. I'm Snuffing that we both making it. We made it. They carry me out with baby.

[Mike]

And I think people should support their friends that way. Like, you're truly your friends. Obviously there. Like, there's. There's some things your friends do that you might not want to support, obviously. But I'm just saying just like regular things they're doing in life that you actually like, you should put it out there.

[Pat]

Your friend got only fans. You ain't got to look at it no hit like, just buy.

[Mike]

Just buy the $10.

[Pat]

Just subscribe, bro. You watch nothing. Don't watch nothing, bro. Why you. Why you liking my solo content, though? No. That's so weird.

[Mike]

No, but good content you putting out, bro.

[Pat]

But I feel like those friend groups are. Aren't going to make it. You see the. The friend groups that are at the top of the chain, you can all tell they got genuine love for each other. Like, you don't see. See Duke, Dennis, Phantom. You don't see none of their face change when someone goes, kat more popular than y'.

[Mike]

All.

[Pat]

Or you don't see Tyl or DEZ face change when it's like, kat put you on Kaio daddy. And it's just like, let's talk about me and you.

[Mike]

That's exactly what I'm saying.

[Pat]

That's what it. That's what it can always be at the end of the day. Now, if Joe Button hopping my DMS like, you ass like, damn. Like, he got me there. I'm gonna try to fight that. But you got me. You know what I'm saying? But it's like, that's the person. But that's never going to happen. Joe Button would never do that because he knows, like, how hard what we're doing is. Only person that would come at somebody like that is somebody that's not in that realm that think this just come easy.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Ass. My bad. Are we supposed to be positive on this show? Let's.

[Mike]

I had a question. Do women still drink beer?

[Pat]

That's.

[Mike]

I just. I. I do. They drink like bot. I'm talking about, like. I'm not talking about, like, bottled beer. I'm talking about canned beer.

[Pat]

Can't. Nobody drinks really can be anymore, though.

[Gene]

Like PBRs or.

[Mike]

I haven't. I mean, I see dudes drink canned beers.

[Pat]

When the last time you seen somebody drink a canned beer?

[Mike]

A bush light and where.

[Pat]

Maybe like. Maybe like a festival or something. But like, everywhere I go is like, festivals just, like, for aesthetic reasons. People get in a glass or a bottle.

[Mike]

Yeah. I feel like a beer cat just seems to like if. If I saw a guy or a girl with a a. But like, you know, like a canned beer. So it's like. All right, man. It's like. It depends on the setting, though. If it's like a game or some grill out. Yeah, yeah, like a grill. Yes, a grill. But I still, you know, bottled.

[Pat]

It also depends on the shape of the can. That's the biggest one.

[Mike]

Yes. Yeah. That's why they start doing the skinny can.

[Pat]

The skinny can makes it look like. Because you can have Miller Light in a skinny can, but it looks like aesthetically pleasing because you can see both of the cans on the end. Like, when you got a beer and it's a short can and like, like, you sip it, you just look creepy as hell. Who is this? Where's security at, bro?

[Mike]

All the people that do the shotgun tricks.

[Pat]

Also, I'm not going. No spoilers, but I just saw a picture of an update to All American and what's going on right now. I'm not going to give anybody any spoilers.

[Mike]

That show is still going on.

[Pat]

Exactly. What I'm saying is one of the stars of the show is pregnant by another one of the stars, and it's like, bro, I've been watching them since high school.

[Mike]

I know they had a spin off, though, that homecoming. Homecoming.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

But it's All American still.

[Pat]

Like, all Americans still on, bro. One of the. One of the main characters pregnant.

[Mike]

18 dash. Oh, wow.

[Pat]

Yeah, they still going, bro. Tay Diggs died on the short bus, and they just, like, kept going.

[Mike]

Died.

[Guest Man]

Oh.

[Pat]

No.

[Mike]

Those are, like, the things I that don't care about having spoilers about.

[Pat]

He not even on the new thing, so you got to know. He not on the show no more. Ah, like, look at this, bro.

[Mike]

Where's. What's his name?

[Pat]

Spencer.

[Mike]

He.

[Pat]

He all the way in the back.

[Mike]

Let me see.

[Pat]

I think he in the NFL now.

[Mike]

What team is he on, huh?

[Pat]

They just made up to won a Super bowl and. My bad, y'.

[Mike]

All.

[Pat]

Okay. Okay. Back to tweet of the week. Okay, you ready?

[Mike]

Yep.

[Pat]

This is a text message thread. Back and forth, forth. Somebody said, what do you want for Christmas? The person responded, I want a dragon. Laughing emoji. The person said, come on, be realistic. The person. Other person responded, okay, I don't want to be your side chick anymore. I want to be the main. That person responded, what color dragon you want, girl? They're done playing with that, man.

[Mike]

Is there ever, like, a successful graduation from being the side Chick to being a main chick and it being a relationship that goes over, like, say, five years, 10 years.

[Pat]

I feel like if. If the girl or guy, whoever it is, is a side chick, but that person only had side chicks. Like, the person just had, like, got it. Four situations. And then y' all rolls up and he like, I don't want them other girls. I want you eventually. Or they reconnected like.

[Mike]

Like that. But that's not a side chick. But.

[Pat]

But to know. But, yeah, but to know it's a main and to, like, be like, the side chick. Like, it always has to be in the back of your head. Like, yeah, I transfer over to you while I was still with the other person.

[Mike]

I think dudes keep those girls around because they make it seem like they have an exit plan of their current situation.

[Pat]

Yeah, that's one. That's one. The other ones is like, we. We've seen it on the podcast where a dude, dude, you know, his girl is a virgin. Is. And she's meeting everything he wants in a wife marriage, and he feels secure, but he's not getting what he wants physically. And then you get the girl that was on a podcast that says she eater and she a side chick. And then you get that girl, and for some reason, that woman is okay being right where she's at, which makes the whole situation dangerous.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Like, there's actually women out there. There that's just like, I don't care if you have a girlfriend, and I'm gonna help you hide this from your girlfriend as long as me and you can do what we do.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And then these dudes fall for it. And then a girl end up catching feelings.

[Mike]

That's always. That's the thing. The dudes always fall for that. Like, there's no way you put. You know, like, there's obviously you did something to get the girl that you with and the girl that maybe the side chick. Right. There's something about you that she liked initially. Right. Everybody just think they just probably had the best sex in the world. Like, bro, there's a little bit more than that. Right. You keep doing those things. It's like, bro, you're just going to have what they call them, soul ties.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

To that person eventually.

[Pat]

And it's just going to be something. You're literally one sentimental moment away from truly bonding with that person. Either way, one of y' all going to fall for each other. Like, what if you happen just to be there? It's the. Let's say you go out to cheat every Wednesday Night.

[Mike]

This man g. Look at he Google.

[Pat]

What do you say?

[Mike]

He googled how many men were caught cheated in 2025. There's no exact number of men caught cheating in 2025.

[Pat]

As private data, it says around 20 to 23. God damn.

[Mike]

20 to 23 of married men admitted to cheating.

[Pat]

Admitted. Oh, these gave up. These said that. I'm through.

[Mike]

What do we think? What would we think the number would be then?

[Pat]

What? A percentage wise.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Of people who choose she.

[Mike]

Because if people. If 23 admitted that they do. Right. Obviously it takes a lot to admit something like that. Yeah. How many percentage do we then think don't admit it?

[Pat]

I would say just double 50. I would say 50.

[Mike]

I guess it goes with the divorce rate in America.

[Pat]

But I think. I think it's funny that the divorce rate is like kind of stays around. It goes 45 to 55 back and forth. This kind of stays around 50. And I'm. I'm glad it does because everything on that big of a scale should stay at 50.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Either it happened or it didn't. You know what I'm saying?

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Because it's like every sit. If you go off the percentages, what do these percentages do?

[Mike]

Yes.

[Pat]

For any information wise.

[Mike]

So 2025, u. S. Divorce rate for the first marriages hover around 40%. A slight decline. Boom, boom, boom, boom. When second marriages face significantly higher risk. Over 60%. Wow. So it's higher percentage divorce rate for your second marriage. Marriage. Right. That's what it says. Right.

[Pat]

And then third. And then third is higher too.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Damn. So if you get married, I guess it. Because you're probably because you know what.

[Mike]

To look for, but.

[Pat]

No, no. But it's saying that it's. It's successful. No, it's divorce percentage.

[Mike]

Yes.

[Pat]

Not that you know what to look for. So you. You don't know what to look for.

[Gene]

Desensitized to like attachment.

[Mike]

There it goes.

[Pat]

Yeah. That's what it is. They like.

[Mike]

I'm just saying, like, you. You know, those things that you won't might probably stand for anymore because, you know, like, obviously take those. The first marriage was because of cheating, right?

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

And there are signs there already before that happened. If those signs happen again, your second marriage is like, I'm gonna end this before it gets to that point of me being like.

[Gene]

It's probably also hard to go back to just dating, you know?

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Gene]

That's if you used to having a person.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Depending on how long is all this stuff, like. Yeah. But the thing is this the reason I don't like these percentages, it doesn't stop people from doing any.

[Mike]

Anything.

[Pat]

If the divorce rate was 98, I don't think that we will have less marriages.

[Mike]

I think there are less marriages now.

[Pat]

I don't. I don't think so. I think people are just more private about it. Like, I think there's almost every marriage I've known. Like, come on now.

[Mike]

What is the marriage rate right now? 25. 20. 25.

[Pat]

Every. Every marriage I know is over.

[Mike]

Yeah. Yeah. Declined from 2020 to. Yeah.

[Pat]

Do you know any married people right now?

[Mike]

Dwight? Yes.

[Pat]

Who?

[Mike]

Jose.

[Pat]

Okay, that's. They're different. Marty's married. Huh? Jose, he just got married. We'll see. We'll check back in five years. No, I wish y' all the best, though. But. But I'm just saying, I. Obviously, I think they. They got really good chemistry. I'm dead ass party. I think y' all got really good chemistry. And it's just like. I'm not calling them a weird couple, but it's just like, when you look at two people you like, okay, y' all gonna be together forever. And they 1. And the ones Jose and Gabby are. Are one of the ones. You could just tell by their connection.

[Gene]

Emerge into a unit.

[Pat]

Yeah. Just like, damn, I couldn't imagine y', all, but it's you. You meet married couples and just be like, okay, yeah, you like them strippers. You nag a of lot.

[Guest Woman]

Not.

[Pat]

You go nag him into the strippers.

[Mike]

Go. One of. I think we're still at that age, too, where it's not a lot of Not. We don't go to a lot of weddings. I feel like it's more baby showers than weddings right now.

[Pat]

Damn.

[Mike]

I just feel like, no, I've been.

[Pat]

To a lot of shooting.

[Mike]

One of my friends just got married not too long ago. I was like, damn. I haven't been to, like. I haven't bought a suit for a wedding in so long. Long.

[Guest Woman]

Damn.

[Pat]

No, I just went to a wedding also. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mike]

How many baby showers you been to?

[Pat]

I. I don't. I don't. Like, I missed out on the last baby show. I was supposed to.

[Mike]

Okay, just say invited. Just say invited to.

[Pat]

Invited to.

[Mike]

Yes, one.

[Pat]

I missed my chance.

[Mike]

Oh, damn.

[Pat]

I was gonna get down, too. I was gonna bring some Swedish meatballs. I was about to bring you that Coogee shirt.

[Mike]

Come on. I was ready to pull the Burberry shirt out.

[Pat]

Come on, Nick. Throw that hoe on, bro. Right there.

[Mike]

Burberry cape.

[Pat]

Next. Because next relationship that I get in, I'm gonna do it right. You know what I mean? And I want to have the. What's the gender reveal?

[Mike]

I don't think I'm do that.

[Pat]

So I can. I want to go viral. I just want to go viral. I'm a troll.

[Mike]

Congrats. Thank you.

[Gene]

Thank you.

[Pat]

Oh, yeah, congrats.

[Mike]

Appreciate it.

[Pat]

I want to act mad.

[Gene]

I think I got. I got some, like, some private messages or message requests from some of the fans, I think. Who the is this? And they're like, congrats.

[Pat]

I will say, like, when it. When it was my birthday, I probably got over. I feel like a thousand messages. Like, I really do appreciate y' all messaging me. I try to, like, message people back. Nice messages. But some people, they'll send a nice message. You'll be like, oh, damn, bro. Thanks. And then you'll scroll up and they called you a ass two months ago. Like, what the.

[Gene]

So y' all did. Y' all did miss the. The gender reveal. You know, the baby shower be coming up. Whatever. It was cold as a. Hang on.

[Guest Man]

Lie.

[Gene]

It wasn't outside, but somebody wanted fireworks, so they. They got fireworks.

[Mike]

No, I saw. I'm not gonna lie to you. I saw one picture, and you didn't look that. You, like, had that, like. It was a bad mo. Really? Yes, bro. What?

[Pat]

You look like, bro? What did he look like, bro?

[Mike]

He just didn't look like.

[Pat]

Like happy or did he look disappointed?

[Mike]

He didn't look happy.

[Pat]

He just said it. I was like, wait, no, you explain it.

[Mike]

But obviously, knowing Jean, I know he was happy because the type of person Gene is, but I was just like. I was like, damn. What happened that day? I think it was because. Were you crying?

[Pat]

No, not yet.

[Gene]

No.

[Pat]

No. Gene is doing this.

[Guest Man]

Yeah.

[Mike]

G has his hands on his face.

[Pat]

Yeah. Yeah. Look at this one. Look at this. No, he looks stressed. No, he literally looks stressed. He doing it like when you massage your forehead and how the.

[Gene]

Just me dapping up my pops.

[Pat]

Yeah. It look like pops whispering in here like, yeah, good luck. What do that mean, pops? Why you saying good luck?

[Mike]

Oh, man.

[Pat]

Hold on, hold on. This is. This is my favorite tweet of the week.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Gene]

This is the last tweet of the week for 2025.

[Pat]

Yes, yes. Last one. And this is. I will say this is the most. I ain't gonna. I ain't gonna put that much pressure on it, but it's the funniest one I read in a while. I'll put it, like, that. Okay. It says this. Went to a job interview and told them his teardrop tattoo symbolizes sweat because he's a hard worker.

[Mike]

Her. Holy.

[Pat]

No, real.

[Mike]

If that's a lie, I appreciate the lie.

[Pat]

It gotta be a lie.

[Mike]

Yeah. I'm just saying, if he's saying it just to, like, you know, not to scare. Scare anybody or like, get a job or something like that, that's a good lie.

[Pat]

My question is, how many teardrops do you got to resist? You know what I mean?

[Gene]

Like, gotta be. You gotta be three.

[Pat]

No, at least three. But if you talk to the right people, if they don't have anybody black that's working in the higher ups, you might get away with that.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Because I can see some of the CEOs I used to work for in the marketing world, very green. I could see them falling for that. And they would come ask me, like, pat, what do you think that means? And I'm not about to turn down no dude with three teardrops. I got you, bro. That dude swear one for blood, one.

[Gene]

For support, wet, one for tears.

[Pat]

What you say about that? Blood. No, no, no.

[Mike]

I was just saying.

[Pat]

But I guess that's it anymore. Oh, shout out to Giannis. Dunked on them last night, bro. Dunked on them in the final seconds. He the first person I ever seen do that and actually go into the interview acknowledging he did it, saying it was because, hey, man, we 10th 11 seed, bro. I'm trying to get my team a spark, bro. So I windmilled on y'. All. I think more NBA players should do that.

[Mike]

I don't really get why people get mad about, like, the unspoken rules, things like, bro, like, it is what it is. If I want to get a highlight dunk at the end of the game, it is what it is. I think, because if it's not a close ass game, I think what.

[Pat]

What I heard is because in the game, during the game, it's so hard to get those plays right. It's so hard. Like Giannis obviously hasn't had an opportunity to windmill in a while. We haven't seen it. So it's like, it's hard to get those breakaway plays. You usually have to work for that. You got to put play some crazy defense to get a break with and you won't.

[Mike]

You don't want to take the risk of a. A hard dunk on a game, you know, when it still matters.

[Pat]

Correct. So the other players are like, if we were playing, you wouldn't do that.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And you basically just got that over all of us, cuz. NBA players don't play that. One time I saw Paul George about to break the All Star game record in points, bro.

[Mike]

It was a whole ass.

[Pat]

It was three George on the pod.

[Mike]

To talk about that.

[Pat]

It was three discarding him, bro. I was like, this is some whole ass, bro.

[Mike]

Some real hating.

[Pat]

That was some hating ass, bro.

[Mike]

Oh, my gosh. But anyway, that's been the episode. This is the last part of the year. I want to just say thank you to y'. All. I don't think we say that enough sometime, but appreciate y' all for rocking with us this year. We had hella growth this year.

[Pat]

Patreon, too.

[Mike]

Yeah, you still growing?

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah. That getting up there.

[Mike]

I've been stuck in my since. Since I was like 18.

[Pat]

I thought you about to say six. I said, God damn, Y. Y' all ain't stopped growing at 6.

[Mike]

Crazy.

[Pat]

That'd be super crazy.

[Mike]

But no, I appreciate y' all rocking with us. Live show, you know, we're gonna start the year off with a bang. Do the live show next week, and then obviously we're gonna go on a tour next year. So we're gonna start announcing dates and stuff like that. So if y' all with the podcast, definitely anything we put out merch, anything. Just keep rocking with us. Keep supporting the Patreon. It keeps us. Us doing what we're doing.

[Pat]

Also another incentive to join the Patreon. We're going to start asking our Patreon what they want to see from us more 20, 26 for extra content, what they want to see us talk about more. So that's another reason to get the Patreon helping, curate some content and push forward with that. We with y'.

[Gene]

All.

[Pat]

Not all of y', all, but probably 99 of y'.

[Mike]

All.

[Pat]

There's definitely like 1% of people.

[Mike]

Like, there's some of y' all that are just bad people.

[Pat]

They literally just don't. And they don't even with us. They literally like, seeing if we fail. The got came out with another hour and a half podcast. Not next week, though.

[Mike]

Anyway, that's been the pod.

[Gene]

Be safe.

[Pat]

Get clarity on what's happening in women's sports with she's not next. She's now from the Gist. It's a new podcast series from the Gist of it that breaks down new and emerging women's leagues. Understand what's changing, what's launching, and what it all means. With so many leaks popping up, it's easy to feel overwhelmed. Each episode explains the moving parts clearly without assuming insider knowledge. Listen to she's not next. She's now, from the gist of it, wherever you get your podcast, that she's not next. She's now, from the gist of it.