Spend That Sh*t - Episode 271

Summary

Crash Dummies Podcast with Pat and Mike

Episode 271: "Spend That Sh*t"
Date: August 12, 2026
Guests: Carrie (Noni Juice), Gene, Call-in Listeners

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Episode Overview

This episode delivers classic Crash Dummies flavor: absurd scenarios, personal stories, real-life gripes, internet tweets, and light-hearted debates about everything from AI and relationships to gym etiquette and money. Pat and Mike, joined by recurring co-host Carrie (a.k.a. Noni Juice) and Gene, mix trending topics and audience call-ins with wild tangents, keeping the energy high and the laughs rolling. Segments hit current events, personal confessions, dilemmas, and some hilariously heated disagreements.

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Key Discussion Points & Highlights

1. Show Open & Crew Banter

[00:01 – 01:41]

• Mike kicks off with classic banter, group intros, and mild trolling targeted at Carrie, sparking playful gender debate.
• Plug for their Patreon and live show announcements: "And we got a surprise date coming up...a city that's been asking us to come there." – Pat

2. Tweet of the Week: AI Situationships

[01:41 – 02:31]

• Pat shares a tweet about someone unknowingly talking to an AI chatbot for months thinking it was a real situationship partner.
• Mike: "Damn, the chat must be good. That chat must be good, brother." [02:02]
• Pat jokes about how romantic chatbots can get, comparing them to romcoms.

3. High School Anecdotes, Language Fails, and Fighting

[02:33 – 04:39]

• Mike shares a story about Mexican students failing Spanish, sparking a tangent about cultural expectations and school fights.
• Carrie: "Why y' all out here fighting like that? It's crazy. I've never been in a fight before..." [04:03]
• Discussion veers into adult fighting and why it's a bad look:
  "Being an adult and fighting is not good." – Pat [04:29]

4. Fights, Guns, and Wild Scenarios

[05:07 – 06:05]

• Pat recounts witnessing an old-man brawl turning to a gun pull:
  "He took the dude on the ground's gun, tossed it...then pulls out his own gun." [05:18]
• Carrie: "Some people don't fight at all. They just shoot first." [06:00]

5. Side-by-Side Sitters & Restaurant Pet Peeves

[06:05 – 07:22]

• Mike brings up a tweet shading couples who sit side-by-side at restaurants; group discusses seating preferences.
• Pat: "It don't matter. You sit on my lap. Let's eat together. Let me feed you." [06:42]

6. Baby Talk: Why Babies Don’t Repeat "Say"

[07:28 – 09:56]

• Pat wonders how babies know to repeat "mama" instead of "say mama."
• Carrie: "Babies are crazy." [08:20]
• Debate over parenting styles, baby-talk versus 'talking straight'.

7. Laundry Gripes & Hand-Washing Hacks

[10:19 – 12:48]

• The crew airs pet peeves about missing laundry items and discusses hand-washing clothes, with Mike revealing he hand-washes essentials on trips.
• Mike: "When I was in Nigerian boarding school, we washed our uniforms every day with our hands..." [11:37]

8. Birthday Love: Real or Fake?

[13:11 – 16:01]

• Pat argues that birthday love is “some of the fakest ever.”
• Pat: "One time. Just don't tell nobody it's your birthday. And then you tell me who fuck with you." [14:05]
• Discussion about birthday reposts, friend drama, and picture etiquette.

9. Lefty Loosey, Righty Tighty: When It Gets Confusing

[18:55 – 20:15]

• Praise for the memorable phrase, but everyone admits confusion when using tools upside down or at odd angles.
  Mike: "Is it my left or their left?" [19:24]

10. Fashion Trades, Skinny Jeans, and Women's Style Power

[20:19 – 22:13]

• Pat pushes for a 'trade proposal' on fashion fads, noting the power women have in setting trends:
  "Women can pull anything off." [21:45]
• Carrie: "Y' all be hating because girls can, like, do whatever we want to do and y' all can't." [21:07]

11. Germ Phobia: Baskets, Dumbbells, and Gym Rants

[22:18 – 25:53]

• Mike discusses discomfort in receiving baskets or using weights right after others:
  "I don't like witnessing the germ transfer." [22:18]
• Gym etiquette: waiting for machines, handling selfish users, and adapting workouts.

12. Cute Annoyances: ATM Holds & Car Troubles

[25:53 – 27:42]

• Pat and Mike share ATM and toll road mishaps; the feeling when a honk is justified.
• Pat: "Like, it rarely happens in life where somebody honking at you and you're like, damn, you're right." [26:35]

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Audience Call-ins & Advice Segments

13. Sexuality & Stereotypes: Threesome Assumptions

[28:25 – 35:12]

• Carrie/Noni addresses the annoying stereotype that bisexual/pansexual women must be down for threesomes.
• Pat: "I feel like every woman in a relationship has been approached about a threesome." [32:27]
• Group debates how these conversations should go, call out “too horny” energy, and joke about conversational circles.

14. Public Couple Arguments: Please Stop

[36:00 – 37:56]

• Gene's pet peeve: men arguing loudly with their partners in public.
• Mike: "I judge some people that the type of arguments I see them have with their girls in public..." [36:45]

15. Cliché Motivation Quotes: Flawed Math

[39:25 – 42:10]

• Call-in debates the logic of "fall 100 times, get up 101" and other “fake inspirational” quotes.
• Mike: "I think it's because you start up." [41:19]

16. Relationships: Asking for Space or Just Break up?

[44:03 – 51:13]

• Noni tells a story about her boyfriend "asking for space" after moving long-distance. Group gives tough love advice.
• Pat: "He want to break up with you, but he don't want you to hate him." [48:14]
• Pat: "Experience matters...what's done is done." [51:11]

17. Tricking & Money Lost

[57:53 – 64:14]

• Listener shares getting scammed out of $150 by an old fling asking for "food money".
• Pat: "He knocked the sonic coins out your ass, so you gave it up." [59:32]
• Discussion on financial dynamics, “tricking,” and the struggles of dating in the modern era.

18. Funny Confessions & Podcast Phrases

[64:45 – 69:06]

• Barber listener complains about Mike saying "low hanging fruit" too much.
• Pat: "You said low hanging fruit, which is a common thing to say so people understand it. What should he replace it with?" [67:11]
• Shout-outs for showing the podcast in his barbershop (Cassius).

19. Message to Anybody in the World

[69:25 – 74:12]

• Listeners would send messages to:
  • R. Kelly (“Hold your head in that jail cell.”)
  • Mitch McConnell (“Are you still alive?” and debate on voting apathy)

20. Apologizing for Bad Sex

[74:06 – 79:29]

• Listener confesses wanting to apologize to an old hook-up for a “terrible gift” (bad sex after his divorce):
  "I just did not last. Busted. So fast." [74:42]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• AI & Relationships:
  "A tweet said found out a situationship automated our chat. So I've been talking to an AI for months." – Pat [01:41]
  "Damn, the chat must be good...that chat must be good, brother." – Mike [02:02]

• Gym Germs:
  "I don't like witnessing, like, the germ transfer." – Mike [22:18]

• Fashion Power:
  "Women can pull anything off." – Pat [21:45]
  "Y' all be hating because girls can, like, do whatever we want to do and y' all can't." – Carrie [21:07]

• Sexuality Stereotypes:
  "I wish people would stop asking for space and just, like, break up or not." – Noni [44:09]

• Birthday Love:
  "One time. Just don't tell nobody it's your birthday. And then you tell me who fuck with you." – Pat [14:05]

• Motivational Sayings Critique:
  "I'm not a mathematician, but I'm pretty sure you gotta fall the same amount of times that you get up..." – Gene [39:32]

• Financial Transparency:
  "My phone addiction got so bad that watching a movie feels productive." – Pat [84:43]

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Social Commentary

21. Podcast Industry & Representation

[94:16 – 99:59]

• Carrie brings up the lack of Black women on top podcast earnings lists, sparking discussion on industry barriers and the rise of shows like Poor Minds.
• Mike: "The podcast space was very male dominated for a really long time...It's just now that a lot more women podcasts are getting popular." [96:02]
• Pat: "There's more men that listen to podcasts than women...they get haters right away." [97:17]

22. Athlete Wealth Discourse

[90:12 – 94:15]

• Dissection of athletes claiming “$20 million isn’t a lot”, and the relativity of wealth to lifestyle.

23. AI Surveillance & Flock Cameras

[88:03 – 89:48]

• Group discusses privacy concerns about license plate-reading flock cameras and misuse by law enforcement.

24. Stereotypes, Activism, and Call-outs

[102:15 – 103:58]

• Pat criticizes selective activism: "Don't come tell me some after the fact after you didn't hung with the." [103:09]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• AI Situationships & Tweet of the Week: 01:41
• Side-by-side sitting debate: 06:05
• Baby talk oddities: 07:28
• Laundry hacks & Nigerian school: 10:19
• Birthday love (real vs fake): 13:11
• Fashion power: 21:07
• Sexuality and threesomes stereotype: 28:25
• Breakup advice ("asking for space") 44:03
• Getting scammed out of $150: 57:53
• Podcast industry/representation: 94:16
• Athlete “not much money” rants: 90:12
• AI Surveillance / Flock cameras: 88:03

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Episode Tone & Style

Informal, playful, and at times irreverent—the crew bounces between biting sarcasm and genuine advice, often poking fun at each other and their listeners. They bring internet culture, street wisdom, and unfiltered realness, ensuring every segment is both funny and relatable, with a “we’re just like you” energy.

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Final Thoughts

"Spend That Sh*t" is a quintessential Crash Dummies episode: no topic is off-limits, everything is fair game for jokes, and the reality of adulthood, relationships, and online life is front and center. The episode delivers both wild entertainment and glimpses of real vulnerability, reminding listeners that their mess, big or small, just might get crowdsourced on the next Crash Dummies call line.

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Listen for the funny, stay for the relatability, and expect the unexpected every episode.

Transcript

[Mike]

Yo, yo, that's not what we doing.

[Pat]

Hello.

[Mike]

The radio is for people who are driving. Welcome to crash podcast. Anyway, welcome to Crash Dummies podcast, episode 271. We got the whole crew here. Make sure you guys go to crashdummies live.com.

[Pat]

announce me.

[Mike]

We got the whole crew here. We got Pat, we got Jean. We got. I was just. I was letting.

[Pat]

That's so misogynistic.

[Carrie]

Is it?

[Mike]

I'm giving her.

[Pat]

Because you didn't give me what to call me. This is why women's. Women already got a. Come on now. She already got hurdles. Now she gotta announce herself as a man.

[Mike]

I was trying to let her al. You herself.

[Carrie]

What up, y'?

[Pat]

All?

[Carrie]

It's your girl Noni Juice. Carry Noni. Whatever you want to call me.

[Mike]

All right? Trolling carries, like, my new favorite hobby.

[Carrie]

It's so easy.

[Pat]

No, no. Carry attacks first, though. I'm gonna let y' all know, she does a lot of stuff off camera. I forgot what she said about me, but she just like.

[Mike]

I don't know where, too. That's the thing. Yeah.

[Pat]

Just like, what did I do? You know what I'm saying?

[Mike]

Make sure you guys subscribe to the patreon. We drop two episodes, ext. Extra episodes a month. Yeah. Crashdummieslive.com. all the days should be there by the time this is.

[Pat]

Yeah, so. And we got a surprise date coming up. We'll let y' all know. But it's a city that's been asking us to come there, and we gonna make it happen.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

So surprise, nigga. All right, let's start this pot. I gotta get a tweet of the week out the way because I feel like this kind of leads into the AI thing. I was just talking about somebody. A tweet said found out a situationship automated our chat. So I've been talking to an AI for months.

[Mike]

Damn, the chat must be good. That chat must be good, brother.

[Pat]

Like, you ever asked, like, chat GBT for, like, something romantic? No, they be all in, bro. They want you, like, shirt over the puddle, boom box in the rain type. Like, they romantic. They gonna tell. Like, I think they get they from, like, romcoms or some.

[Carrie]

What type of stuff do you ask it?

[Pat]

No, I just been on there, you know, Sometimes I dial in, sometimes I do some, like, movie script stuff. Like when I. Like, I got a movie coming out soon.

[Mike]

I bought Pat funding all the data centers.

[Pat]

Who. Hey, man, keep drinking that water, man.

[Mike]

That's crazy. I. I had one, too. My high School was ghetto as we had Mexicans failing Spanish class. That is true. They had a lot of. I had a lot of Mexican people failing Spanish class. And I feel like when you. When you're Mexican and you don't know Spanish, that shit, like, hurts the community a lot.

[Carrie]

Oh, my gosh.

[Mike]

It does.

[Carrie]

Absolutely not. They probably just talking slang how we do.

[Mike]

Nah, if I've seen, like, Mexicans that know Spanish, when there's a Mexican that don't know how to speak Spanish, you know, that shit is like a disgrace in the eyes. Come on. As a. As a Hispanic, I thrive.

[Gene]

I felt.

[Pat]

I felt I failed Spanish twice.

[Mike]

Oh, good at it.

[Pat]

But I started skipping school, and my. And my teacher was musty as fuck, and I make it. I make anybody skip school.

[Mike]

How I knew my school was ghetto, though, was that when the security would be a fight, right? And then security will come up, and then security start asking us, like, what happened? Like, you know, like, almost. Almost like they're trying to get, like, the. The tea of, like, how the fight started. Besides stopping the fight.

[Pat]

It's getting bad. And the security guard tapping your shoulder, talking about, that's up. No, I. I knew our school was bad. When you can fight and come back in the same week.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Like, legit. Like a fighting on Monday. You seeing them on Thursday. Like, yeah, I beat that ass, didn't I? Now, what's the answ week?

[Mike]

Coming back to school after you want to fight in school is the best feeling, though.

[Carrie]

Why y' all out here fighting like that? It's crazy. I've never been in a fight before, and every time a fight would even happen at school, I will kind of walk away.

[Mike]

You never been in no physical altercation?

[Carrie]

No.

[Mike]

That's lovely.

[Pat]

That's crazy.

[Carrie]

That's lovely.

[Mike]

No, that's good, though.

[Pat]

That's good. You probably catch a cramp. Anyways.

[Carrie]

I be working out, man.

[Pat]

She dehydrated, stretching. No, that. That's pretty good, though.

[Carrie]

I just, like, almost did, but it didn't.

[Pat]

That. I think that's good, though, especially as, like, being an adult, obviously, as a kid, you know, you just run into different type of things. But being an adult and fighting is not good.

[Mike]

No.

[Pat]

Like, no matter where you are, obviously, if you've been disrespected and you knock somebody out, like, man, that's the. That's the holy trinity. Like, good job. You got disrespected. They was all in your face, and you felt uncomfortable. You knocked them out. But if you, like, getting an argument with another Adult. Y' all going fist for fist in the middle of the street. Like, what the fuck are y' all doing?

[Mike]

It's hard to even get into, like, intense arguments with people anymore. Yeah. Because it's like, at that point, it's like somebody's annoying me or some shit. Just like, bro, I'm out, bro. Like, what's going to happen? What's going to be the end results of this?

[Pat]

I literally saw a fight, bro. A dude walked up on an old man and was, like, chest bumping him. The old man swung. You know that old man hook that come out of nowhere, Swung, knocked him out. And I just saw the old man just go by his hips instead of, like, grabbing him all the way. I'm like, what is he doing? He took the do on the ground's gun, tossed it. So you think like, oh, man, he trying to, like, make sure nobody gets shot. He then pulls out his own gun. What the fuck is. Nigga disarmed him and then up like, what the fuck?

[Carrie]

Sounds about right to me.

[Pat]

No, but I just realized, like, those situations, bro, you never know what somebody got. I've seen so many situations where somebody, like, fighting, right? And then they feel like they get jumped because they getting the ass be so bad, so they pull out a gun and start shooting. Like, there's some people out here getting their ass beat so bad, they think they can jump.

[Carrie]

Some people don't fight at all. They just shoot first.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

You never know, man.

[Mike]

That's true. I thought. There's another one that said couples who sit side by side at restaurants be ugly as fudge. And I disagree with that, obviously. I think that's. That's some Hayden shit.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

But there are certain restaurants where it's like, it's not really. It's not comfortable to sit side by side.

[Pat]

That's. That's between you and your partner, though.

[Mike]

No, I'm just saying comfortable in terms of, like, the table is just too close. There's some restaurants that have, like, that one side that has, like, a long bench that everybody sits on, and then the chair side don't care. And I feel like it's a little too close.

[Pat]

Don't care.

[Mike]

It's like too. Too many people too close. No, no, that's crazy.

[Pat]

Sit right by me.

[Mike]

If you're in the gap, that's just.

[Pat]

That's how I am.

[Mike]

But if you're in the gap, that's crazy.

[Pat]

It don't matter. You sit on my lap. Let's eat together. Let me feed you.

[Mike]

Are you guys like, are you guys side by side sitters at restaurants?

[Carrie]

I can be a side by side. I like to sit at the bar, to be honest with you. Obviously we gotta sit side by side.

[Pat]

I don't care if you should be at the bar. What you putting this?

[Mike]

No, I don't mind the bar either. I don't mind the bar sometimes either. I don't like. I don't like high tops chairs though.

[Carrie]

Yeah, no, those like your feet be dangling.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Or am I just like that, that awkward knee bend too? Because your knee kind of be like bent that backwards like this.

[Pat]

Yeah, I. I think high top chairs give me like the feeling that I can't afford the bill or something.

[Mike]

You know what I mean?

[Pat]

I don't know if my car's gonn. No, high top is terrible. I feel like you get bad service. Like, they'd be like, what the you want? It's like a kids table and okay, I'll put in another tweet of the week. This is a real question because this don't make no sense to me. Like, as a father, Gene, how do babies know not to say say when? You tell them to say daddy or say mommy, but you'll go to a baby and you'll be like, say mama. And they'd be like, mama. Why don't they say say mama? Why they not repeating you? How they know? Fuck they know what say me already. Agents like that baby shit a scam, bro. I just feel like. I just feel like. I feel like all babies, like, especially these new babies, bro. I feel like they not our babies, bro. They like, they've been knowing.

[Carrie]

Babies are crazy.

[Pat]

They're literally handlers, bro. There was one, right? Promise you. One time I got in a bike lane and my son said, you're not supposed to do that. Perfect English turned around, I said, what? He said, dad, dad. Hey, hell no. No real Benjamin.

[Mike]

I know that's you,

[Pat]

dad. Dad, did you do your taxes? Like, what the you said to me?

[Mike]

Oh, man, no.

[Pat]

I don't know how they do that, right? I don't know, man. You say, say mama, they say mama. I don't get that, bro. I don't use say though, with my son. What you say? I just do it. I was like, repeat that. I don't say repeat.

[Mike]

Repeat after me.

[Pat]

Do as I do. Jeet in the bedroom saying, stop crying. Stop crying. That type of dad, though.

[Gene]

I ain't gonna lie.

[Pat]

I'm like, come on, man, we talked about this.

[Mike]

That's my fear about becoming a dad, is being Too literal. My son.

[Pat]

Yeah, okay.

[Mike]

I don't know if I'm gonna have a.

[Pat]

But there's gotta be a balance.

[Carrie]

That's what I'm saying.

[Pat]

Because it's either what, baby voice? Or, like, you straight up talking to them.

[Carrie]

They say you shouldn't talk baby voice.

[Pat]

Yeah, I try not to. You shouldn't, though. You know what I'm saying? I'm telling you because I'm like a human. Because when they get three or four, that gonna irritate the out. Yeah, I ain't getting on to, man. That's me looking, man. You get a toy? Yes, you can.

[Carrie]

That's where the toxic masculinity starts.

[Pat]

No, it ain't. Because every time. Because it's funny. Because when my son use a baby. When my son use a baby voice, I'm like, no, don't talk like that. Talk like this.

[Carrie]

Talk like a man.

[Pat]

And then when he talked too grown, I'd be like, what's. Hey, little man. What's up, man? Oh, you know what I hate, though? What I just discovered? I hate every time I wash something, and I'm like, damn, I got everything. I walk around the corner after I started the wash already and find something that should be in the wash. Oh,

[Mike]

man, I hate that.

[Pat]

And it's always something important. Like, yeah, man, the beach tower from last week is right here. Magically, I'm like.

[Mike]

The worst one is, like, for me is when I'm washing my whites and I forget something. Because whites is not something you kind of like. I do like my other laundry a lot more consistently, but my whites is something that kind of adds up.

[Pat]

That's just not like a slur.

[Mike]

My whites,

[Pat]

I just keep looking over.

[Mike]

But, like, especially, like, you stack it. Because I don't want to just wash one white teeth. I have to wait till, like, I get my tank tops and my white socks. So it kind of piles up. That's the one thing I kind of wait for. And when you. You know, you forget that one thing, it's like, oh, damn, I forgot to put my white T shirt in here. That should be here. I'll be stopping the. The washing machine.

[Carrie]

Throw it in.

[Pat]

Throw it in there.

[Carrie]

You mix your laundry depending. No, I'm saying I'll throw it in. If it's been like, only two or three minutes, you know, and I turn around, I see it. It's like, oh, I'm just open it

[Pat]

up real quick, Carrie. Throwing that in during a spin cycle.

[Mike]

There's still enough soap residue on that.

[Pat]

You more Rinse in there. She talked to the shirt. You are who you Ha.

[Mike]

I've hand washed some before just to throw it in the dryer, though.

[Pat]

That's smart. That's. That's some little.

[Carrie]

What soap you use.

[Mike]

So this is going back. This. They're gonna say this is going back to my Nigerian days. Right. When I was in Nigeria. But my Nigerian days, when I was in Nigerian boarding school, we washed our uniforms every day with our hands and, like. And hang dried them, so. And so. Yes. So I'm used to it. So. But now it's. Obviously you have, like, liquid soap and stuff like that, but I have the little tide pods or whatever they are, so I just, like, squeeze the

[Pat]

tide pods?

[Mike]

Yeah. I squeeze the tide pod sometimes and onto, like, the shirt and then get the water soapy a little bit and then just kind of like, scrub, scrub, scrub.

[Carrie]

I've never.

[Mike]

And then rinse off again. But that's like, once in a while I've done that, especially, like, on if I'm on a trip and I didn't bring enough. I was over packed boxes. But there's. Sometimes I have my really comfortable boxes, and I want to, like, you know, I want them to be. I want to reuse the boxes.

[Carrie]

Yeah.

[Mike]

So I start. I hand wash my boxes and let them hang dry.

[Carrie]

So you just keep tie pods on you when you travel?

[Mike]

No.

[Carrie]

Okay.

[Pat]

You don't do that no more, right?

[Mike]

No, no.

[Pat]

Oh, is that what you're asking?

[Carrie]

Yes.

[Pat]

Oh, no.

[Mike]

I've done that recently, though.

[Carrie]

Oh, okay.

[Pat]

Yeah. Yeah. I don't think that's bad. I mean, that's what you have to do when you're camping. So it's kind of. So that's kind of normal, though.

[Mike]

Y' all never washed. Y' all never hand washed?

[Pat]

Yeah, I have.

[Carrie]

I just haven't used a tide pod for it.

[Mike]

Well, I don't have liquid soap like that. You have liquid soap?

[Carrie]

I have liquid soap. I have tie pods. There's like, bar soap.

[Mike]

What type of soap do you use? Bar soap.

[Carrie]

There's a bar soap my mom has, like, this. It's like orange, and you can use it.

[Mike]

She got turmeric soap for her clothes?

[Noni]

Yep,

[Carrie]

that's exactly what it is.

[Pat]

Really.

[Mike]

Her shirt got inflammation.

[Noni]

Hey.

[Pat]

Hey, man. These remedy shirts. You got a cold, put on this shirt. Open your pores right up. Someone tweeted and said, the love you get on your birthday is one of the fakest ever. Someone then quoted that tweet and said, you niggas are going to die. Miserable. Let them folks tell you happy birthday. And I'm kind of in between. Like, it is some of the fakest ever. And the reason I say it's the fakest ever. For those of you that, like, love your birthday, don't announce it's not your birthday. One year, just one year. I don't want to take all your shine. Just take. I don't know what birthday coming up. Maybe you do the one the next year because you don't want to do it this time. One time. Just don't tell nobody it's your birthday. And then you tell me who fuck with you. That's all I got to say.

[Carrie]

I do that.

[Pat]

Often people be like, sometimes it be 1pm right on the person's birthday and they'll get online and be like, thanks for all the birthday wishes. Like, no, no, no, no, no, no. You didn't receive all your birthday wishes. You trying to notify everybody that it's your birthday and you want this birthday?

[Mike]

I do. I'd say thanks for the birthday wishes.

[Pat]

Here's. Here's a birthday nigga. Happy birthday with the balloon. Not Facebook just told you Happy Birthday.

[Carrie]

If you're scrolling on Instagram and you see somebody's story and it's their birthday, do you have to tell them happy Birthday when you see it?

[Pat]

Yes.

[Mike]

We talked about this last week too, which is funny, but my answer was, it was if I skip at least like three stories and I'm still looking, it says happy Birthday, you know, your repost, then I feel obligated. I'm like, I feel like it's a conscious decision I'm making not to tell you happy birthday. If I don't tell you Happy birthday. Yeah.

[Pat]

That's some hating shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Carrie]

I hate when they keep popping up. You know, you, like, you swipe past and you don't keep seeing it, and then next time you open it there

[Mike]

I have like a six store, like a six, five story, like, repost limit on my birthday.

[Pat]

Yes.

[Mike]

I don't want to, like, over. I just like, you know, it's just too much. Like, okay, I. I get it now.

[Carrie]

That's creating beef with your friends. No, they're like, oh, you didn't pick mine.

[Pat]

No, they know. They know. Because even me reposting eight is kind of reaching.

[Carrie]

Girls are different.

[Pat]

Somebody surprises this.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Oh, girls. Yeah. Girls don't play.

[Carrie]

Oh, my God, I've lost a friend over not attending a birthday.

[Pat]

Yeah, their birthday is important. Like, a lot of people don't get, like, you just Think like we podcast, we do all type of events. Mike box like it's times that you're the center of attention still somebody putting like this dude get interviewed after his boxing matches. Gene do shows. You do shows. Like we all at the center of attention all the time. Sometimes like birthday and wedding. That's why you think it'd be bridezillas. Like something like some of these people like at weddings this the last time people gonna pay attention to what the they gotta say. Yeah and you got a over hating. I might kill you dog.

[Mike]

And I think friends are selfish when it comes to pictures. They're always going to pick the picture that they look the best in. So and so. That's like another reason why I don't repost some of them because I'm like, bro, why this one? Especially when you see people at weddings and they're taking. They're always going to choose the one they look. They never want to sacrifice them. Looking not the best in the picture for the friend looking the best in the picture. Or even just like, hey bro, I'm about to post a birthday repost. Are you okay? There's still me and Pat. There's still stuff that we post that even on my page. I'll send it to him first before I post on my page.

[Carrie]

Yeah. Just to get the confirmation.

[Mike]

Just like you you good with this picture or like there's some we kind of know, but there's some like we iffy, we're like honest with each other. We look goofy in the picture.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

We were like, hey bro, I'm send you this. If he don't look he think he look goofy, then it's all right.

[Pat]

What's cool. Look at that hair. You step in the camera real quick, it's gonna take it out of focus.

[Mike]

No, I don't think so.

[Pat]

Step in the camera. Go ahead.

[Mike]

Whichever one audio listeners don't know what

[Pat]

we're talking about does. Where are you going? Oh yeah.

[Mike]

Why behind me though that you get

[Pat]

off camera, bro, you go crazy.

[Carrie]

What's crazy about it looks natural to me.

[Pat]

Yeah, it looked like he played for the Minnesota links.

[Mike]

There are people committed.

[Carrie]

All right.

[Mike]

I swear, nobody can take nothing serious in this country. Bro is so unserious.

[Pat]

Oh, you talking about like the Royce

[Mike]

White you know is so unserious, bro.

[Pat]

I can't even get that attention cuz he abuses women. So I'm not even going to try to. I'm not even trying to get him.

[Mike]

I never, I never really knew him like that.

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We not even that. No platform. But yo, let's take a quick break from today's pod to thank the sponsor of the podcast, seat. So I've been looking to find the best deal on NFL tickets As the season gets closer And I discovered Se Geek, it's the place to get the NFL season's best action. With over 35 million downloads, SeatGeek is the number one rated ticketing app.

[Mike]

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[Pat]

So I'm really excited to attend Bucs games this season. Tickets should be a little bit lower to start, but I think they'll raise. So I'm going to go to some games early, check out Tyler Herre and new crew, see how I go. Also, SeatGeek has your back. Each ticket is rated on a scale of 1 to 10, so you know you're getting a good deal. So look for the green dots. Green means good, red means bad. Plus, every ticket is backed by their buyer guarantee. And of course, we have a code for you guys. You can use code dummies10 for 10% off your next set of tickets at Seat.

[Mike]

That's 10% off any tickets with promo code dummies10. Make sure you click the link in the description to download the app and have the code automatically added to your account so you can use it later. Thank you, Siki, for sponsoring the podcast.

[Pat]

Another tweet says, whoever came up with Lefty Lucy and Righty Tight absolutely knocked that out the park. That's real.

[Mike]

I feel like that shit's starting to, like, confuse me sometimes.

[Pat]

Oh, my God, it is.

[Mike]

And there's some. Sometimes I'm pulling together something like a. A dresser or something, and I'm like, I'm screwing something.

[Pat]

But I'm like, it's because you upside down.

[Mike]

Yeah, because you upside down. Like, wait, you started screwing like, wait, Lefty Lucy, right?

[Pat]

I'm like, okay, I'm going upside down.

[Mike]

Is it my left or their left? Oh, my gosh.

[Carrie]

I thought that's just universal.

[Mike]

Not. But you. Come on now. You put together something. Something from like, ikea. Whoa.

[Pat]

This nigga is besides this. He basically just said, you ever built something, woman? Yeah, use your hands. Do you know it is?

[Mike]

No, I'm saying all this with a I love DEI shirt on.

[Pat]

He talk about, this ain't no Sandwich.

[Mike]

No, these are taking it to extreme.

[Pat]

But that's.

[Mike]

But that's never happened to you. You never, like, got under something.

[Gene]

Yes, I studied.

[Mike]

When I said it too.

[Pat]

He said, now, this ain't like build no sandwich.

[Mike]

You just can't, bro.

[Carrie]

I think they're projecting on tv.

[Mike]

They do that.

[Pat]

Thank you. They're projecting on us.

[Mike]

Oh, my gosh. I'm glad we have another person here, too.

[Pat]

Okay, wasn't going to bring this up, cuz. I thought Carrie was going to be cool today, but. You want us to stop wearing bedazzle pants, right?

[Carrie]

And here you go. Yeah, Come on.

[Pat]

You want us to stop wearing bedazzle pants? We got a trade proposal for you.

[Carrie]

Another one?

[Pat]

Everybody on this pie agrees.

[Mike]

Don't say me, bro. I'm on Carrie's side.

[Pat]

Okay, okay. You just told her, has she ever built something? And he said some misogynist earlier. Oh, he didn't announce your name. And you right back on his side. That's what I said. Just forgiving these men. Anywho, that's your first.

[Carrie]

I'm male centered.

[Pat]

You're not a girl's girl. No, but we'll trade the bedazzle for the John Cena pants.

[Carrie]

No.

[Pat]

One for one.

[Carrie]

No.

[Pat]

Let's. Let's put it into it.

[Carrie]

I think y' all be hating because girls can, like, do whatever we want to do and y' all can't.

[Pat]

That's very true.

[Carrie]

Very like, y' all are so mad about that.

[Pat]

Very true. We admit it. We admit it. Now what now?

[Mike]

What's up?

[Pat]

We admit it. Y' all get to do. Y' all go to therapy, but yeah, I don't know. We tired. Y' all control fashion. And then y' all make like. I haven't wore a bedazzled shirt in months. You got bullied, huh? Yes. I'll be crying. I got like five of them lined up. I'll be crying every night. I can't even wear y' all, man.

[Carrie]

Just stand on that.

[Pat]

No, man, I got something for next week. Watch this. Y' all here dressed like the Dudley boys

[Gene]

and we look fly.

[Pat]

Y' all do look fly. That's what's annoying. The women can pull anything off. Like, if y' all literally start wearing big ass collar shirts and big ass pants and just be like, this. The new fashion. It's a new fashion. Just like how Caprice came back when y' all said y' all wanted capris to come back. Y' all be like, oh, it's funny not to say, like, people Aren't innovators. But, like, women be like, oh, we bout to bring capris back. Like, bro, y'.

[Noni]

All.

[Pat]

Y' all got everything. Nothing left, y'.

[Mike]

All.

[Pat]

I shit leave up. We can't wear skinny jeans no more. We can't.

[Mike]

Niggas wearing skinny jeans, though.

[Pat]

No, they do. They'd be wearing the up them.

[Mike]

Y'. All. Like when people hand you baskets or carts at the grocery store, like, as

[Pat]

you're walking in, like, trade you theirs,

[Mike]

like, or just like theirs. So, like a worker. No, just like a person leave. So I'm entering. I'm entering the grocery store, and a guy's handing me his basket that's leaving. I feel like I don't personally like that because I feel like I don't like witnessing, like, the germ transfer. Like, I like to, like. I like to blissfully go to, like, a cart and not really think about the last person that was touching it. You know, when you. Somebody hands you something or gives you their cart, like, here you go. Like, they think they're doing you a favor, but now I'm thinking about, like, where your hand's been the whole time.

[Pat]

Yeah, I get that everywhere. But all these. All these are fire.

[Mike]

Oh. Cause they do the quarter thing. Yeah.

[Pat]

Cause it's like the quarter thing, but I still shop at all.

[Mike]

I'd rather get my own, though. Like.

[Pat]

Yeah, keep the quarter, too.

[Mike]

No, I see it. That's.

[Pat]

No, no. Ain't keeping my quarter. I don't even play that.

[Carrie]

No, I'm glad you brought that up,

[Pat]

because I had to take my basket back from a nigga be home.

[Carrie]

I thought about that at the gym with dumbbells. Like, I need to pick up a dumbbell, and I just saw somebody have them, and they put it back. It feels different picking them up and

[Pat]

they warm right after somebody use them,

[Mike]

versus just knowing that at the gym, too. I also don't like sitting or using machines that are, like, freshly wiped.

[Carrie]

Yes.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Carrie]

I gotta wait for it to dry.

[Pat]

Yeah, a little bit. But not only thing, I ain't like, because sometimes I do, like, my side abs with, like, the 95s and the 90s, but the. That's. I don't think that's a real flex. Oh, that's kind of like a heavier thing that people do. But I feel like a lot of people do, like, hip thrusts and, like, leg with the 90s and 95s too. And I literally saw a girl, she was, like, hip thrusting with it, and I'm like, damn, I can't use that right now they're like a whole freak. I'm horny. Why she the weight like that?

[Carrie]

Oh, my God.

[Pat]

Everybody gotta use this. But it's always weird because I I've been going to train moment and they do more like they put a lot of things together. So you do three. What is what, what happens when you do three workouts, like a superset and you. I do a lot of supersets and I feel like it's kind of frowned upon in like a regular gym because nigga's like, oh, you trying to outwork me type.

[Mike]

It's hard to sometimes super awkward superset in like, some gyms where it's just like you kind of go back to back with different exercises. Because sometimes the machine you want to use next is so far apart. So you got to like, leave something at the machine to actually clean the machine. So I'll leave like a water bottle, maybe sometimes even my whole phone there because I have my headphones on and then have to walk a little bit further to the other machine to get the other set in between.

[Carrie]

It's a lot of selfish people. At the gym.

[Mike]

There'd be some people selfish, especially at the popular machine. But like, the gym, we go to, like, social candy. There's hella machines there. So it's like, I've never actually ran to a problem there. Literally never Five of like the six of every machine that you would need.

[Pat]

If you're waiting on a machine that' soldiers candy, you honestly don't know how to work out. Yeah, there's, there's a substitute. There's literally a substitute for everything.

[Mike]

You have, like, zero innovation skills.

[Pat]

Yeah, you just like, I need that.

[Mike]

I like the smaller gyms that there has been times where my whole workout has changed because people are taking too long at a machine. Like now I gotta go use dumbbells or do this because I'm, you know, because this person is using that machine too long.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

And I think when you kind. I feel like people have bad social awareness as well in those situations where they don't really see that somebody. Because sometimes I can see that I, I, I could be guilty. I can be on my. Sometimes I'm doing something on a machine. But I also notice when somebody's like, waiting for something. I was like, okay, let me lock in real quick. That's.

[Pat]

I don't know why. I just randomly reminded me of, like, I was waiting at an ATM this one time and this dude, like, I think he got like two different receipts out and he was still like, trying to get some money out, and he seen me behind him, and. And I was just like, you ain't got it, dog.

[Mike]

No, but you can't. You can't say that, Gene, because I. I caught us in that situation that you put us in. We were going through that toll where it clearly said. Said it was the thing, even though I guess it's not our fault because our easy pass should have been working. But it's one of those tolls where it was like the pass only where it automatically opens. And then we actually ended up stopping there and tried to use the card machine, and the card machine wasn't working, and we probably held up like 30 cars.

[Pat]

You know, it hurts like when. When somebody honks at you and you kind of feel like, damn, they right. Yeah, like, that hurts. Like, it rarely happens in life where somebody honking at like, damn, you're right, bro. It's my fault.

[Mike]

Anything like, sitting in the hump because usually, like, you maybe. Maybe like, you're like at a red light and it turns green and you don't catch it right away. Somebody honks at you, you keep it moving. It is what it is. But them honking at you and you can't do about it. I'm like, sitting there. Gina's driving at this time. You're just looking at Gene, like your

[Pat]

body out the window. That's my favorite thing, though. Like, when something going on and I'm sitting in the back seat, that ain't got nothing to do. I was back there on my phone, like, figured out, man, them you better

[Carrie]

get out and apologize to everybody.

[Mike]

That's too far.

[Pat]

The thing is, like, cut them off too. When I get out of there. I'm not apologizing, first of all, because not that I wouldn't apologize, it would just be like the fact that if I apologize and somebody don't take it the right way.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Now it's gonna turn to something totally different because I'll be like, oh, yo, I'm sorry. Like, yeah, you better be. What are you talking to?

[Mike]

I hate when you're trying to apologize for something too. And somebody comes with that type of energy, too. Yeah, yeah, but you really. You're legit about to say sorry, and they're just like. Like they already got their hands up or doing something weird. It's like, all right, then you too, then.

[Pat]

Nah, it was one dude. I was turning into a gas station that was right after intersection, and the dude thought I was trying to turn right, but I kind of kept the same speed and he got actually got mad at me and was just like, you got your blinker on? And I turned into the gas station. And he immediately stopped talking because he knew he was wrong. And I was so Charles. I rolled down my window. I'm like, I got it wrong. Huh? I got it wrong. I was yelling. I look so stupid. Because he drove off. And those people watching me at the gas station like, who are you talking to?

[Gene]

Hello?

[Noni]

Oh, yeah, hi.

[Pat]

What are you doing?

[Gene]

Yo, y' all are quiet.

[Pat]

Yo, yo, yo, yo. Turn your phone up, dude. Do we scare you or something?

[Gene]

I got.

[Pat]

I gotta.

[Mike]

I got a question for you. What's something you wish people would stop doing?

[Noni]

I'm thinking just because I also like

[Gene]

girls that we don't have a threesome or something.

[Pat]

Oh, okay. So you said guys assume that you're gonna have a threesome because you're bisexual?

[Noni]

Yes.

[Mike]

She just said she was lesbian.

[Pat]

She says she's in girls.

[Noni]

Wait, what the.

[Pat]

Why do you remember me?

[Noni]

I never said that. Wait, I never said that.

[Mike]

That you said people be thinking I like threesomes because.

[Pat]

What?

[Mike]

You didn't say bisexual.

[Pat]

Especially girls.

[Noni]

Because I also. Well, okay. Because I also like girls. I'm sorry, what?

[Pat]

Yeah, that's. That's Mike. He trying to put you.

[Mike]

Mike.

[Pat]

Always trying to, like, make people identify.

[Mike]

She said. Why do I remember her? That means that she knows that she's lesbian.

[Pat]

Then is this the. No, she bisexual. How you telling her she lesbian? Literally bisexual. She's a lesbian person.

[Gene]

I'm not even.

[Pat]

Hey, hey, hey. I'm telling Mike she's bisexual.

[Mike]

What do you identify as? What do you identify as?

[Noni]

I would just say pansexual because everyone

[Gene]

is just so sexy.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Pat]

Oh, damn. Can't do no dishes.

[Gene]

What was that noise?

[Pat]

Can't do no dishes around you.

[Noni]

I said every.

[Pat]

Every human being.

[Gene]

Okay, I'm sorry.

[Mike]

Back to your claim.

[Pat]

You said you pansexual. I just don't want you. My dishes.

[Noni]

Do you even have dishes?

[Pat]

What does that mean? It's a crazy response, but that was for everybody.

[Mike]

So who. Who's usually the. The culprit in this situation? Is it the guys or the woman that are assuming the 3? Assumes.

[Gene]

Of course it's the guys. What?

[Mike]

I wouldn't assume that.

[Noni]

Why not?

[Pat]

Because every time we assume something, you correct us. God damn, you a hard person to talk to. I'm not gonna lie.

[Mike]

Okay, so how do they, like, bring it up, though?

[Noni]

It'll just be like. It gets brought up that I also like women, and then they're like, oh, yeah, that's cool. So like, you mean you be. You be down to like, no, please stop.

[Mike]

So they do they stop with you after you say no?

[Gene]

No.

[Mike]

Oh, but if they're.

[Pat]

But if they're. If they ask, it's a question, though. It's a question they have to ask to get the answer. Are you saying they continue to ask even after you say no?

[Noni]

Well, I don't really continue to with

[Gene]

them for much longer, so. Though they don't.

[Pat]

Oh, it's a turn off. Oh, red flag.

[Noni]

A red flag. Yeah, no, it lowkey is. That's like, really?

[Gene]

Ew.

[Pat]

What's a. Like, what's the correct response that you're looking for when you bring that up?

[Gene]

Oh, okay.

[Pat]

But I feel like. But I feel. But I feel like even. Even women who identify as like, wait.

[Carrie]

Hi, Jean.

[Gene]

Is.

[Carrie]

Is ke.

[Pat]

No, no, no, hold on. No, you got to wait your turn, bro.

[Noni]

What the.

[Pat]

Wait, how is that. What's that called their bro, though? Oh, my bad, sis.

[Noni]

Oh, wait, that's not why I said what the.

[Gene]

Okay, Mike, please stop. Wait, what?

[Pat]

Wait, what's going on? Whoa.

[Noni]

Cuz he over here saying because you call her a bro. That's not offensive.

[Mike]

I know. Yes, sir. I got you.

[Pat]

Like, what's offensive?

[Noni]

Sir? What the.

[Mike]

I'm gonna call you everything. Did you know that?

[Pat]

Wait, wait, wait. What are we even talking to her about?

[Noni]

I don't know.

[Mike]

No, this is what he happened. To each have to be too, like, politically correct.

[Pat]

I know, but no going back to it. Fuck all that. I'm just saying what I gotta say. You can't get mad at people. Ask about threesomes, because there's people that like women that identify as straight and they're in a straight relationship and the guy has approached him about a threesome. I feel like every woman in a relationship has been approached about a threesome. Not saying like, no, no, no.

[Noni]

I don't be in a relationship with these.

[Pat]

Even. Even. Even then in a talking stage, it's like people that aren't dating. I feel like it comes up. It. Conversation that comes up either way. So I just.

[Noni]

So you've asked a girl about a threesome before?

[Pat]

I feel like everybody. I don't say. I'm not saying ask. No, now you're.

[Gene]

Now you're.

[Pat]

No, no, I asked you though. I'm having it. I said having a conversation. Having a conversation about it. There's. I feel like there's been conversations about it. Yes.

[Noni]

Okay.

[Pat]

Have I. I would never. No, Wait, what You mean yes. No, I would never ask unless I already knew, like, the conversation was. But there's conversations that happen.

[Mike]

It's been brought up before.

[Noni]

So if a girl. Wait, okay, so if a girl told you that she likes girls, you'd automatically be like, oh, yeah, she's down.

[Pat]

No, I wouldn't do that. No. Just because I've dated women that are bisexual, I've never just assumed, like, oh, she gonna bring another girl to the bed. It's still like, what if she still only wants to be with me? That doesn't mean that she wants to be with multiple people. I'm saying. But it's.

[Noni]

So why were you just gonna make me?

[Mike]

I just feel like we're just getting so far from the actual.

[Pat]

No, no, no, no.

[Carrie]

Just now saying that y' all agree

[Gene]

with me that y' all wouldn't ask

[Noni]

a girl that just because she likes women. And I'm saying that the problem is that they're asking that just because they

[Pat]

find out that I like women. I know, but I don't think you should stop talking to them. Just. I don't think that should be the sole reason you stop talking to him. Oh, it's something you can say no to and move on?

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Pat]

It's a question also. Like, if you bring.

[Mike]

You just feel like that. That question is just way too horny.

[Gene]

Huh. Yeah.

[Pat]

You a freak. So you never had a threesome before? I'm guessing

[Gene]

no.

[Pat]

Get off the phone, man.

[Noni]

Have you.

[Pat]

We're done with you, Bo. I play. I swear I don't clip me.

[Mike]

They gonna clip ass. So out of context.

[Pat]

I'm bl. I was trying to clip farm. It didn't go well. I'm so sorry. I feel like we got to ask her again, though.

[Mike]

Though.

[Pat]

She wasn't being.

[Noni]

Wait, what?

[Pat]

Your answer didn't sound confident. I wasn't sure, you know?

[Noni]

Oh, okay. Ask again.

[Pat]

Have you ever had a threesome?

[Mike]

That was Jean.

[Noni]

No.

[Pat]

I bet you just not into threesome. Why didn't you just come over here and say that? Well, I wouldn't know that if I've never had one. Oh, my God.

[Mike]

We just had an argument about nothing for life. Like, for a whole nine minutes. We just went in a complete circle.

[Pat]

No, this is. This is how. This is how your girl argue with you when you in five o' clock traffic, you be in five o' clock traffic. Talk about, what are we arguing about? That's the point. You never get it. Okay.

[Gene]

All right.

[Mike]

You have a good one. Bro. Bro.

[Pat]

Sis, sis.

[Noni]

Y' All.

[Mike]

Yo, what it do?

[Pat]

What's the word?

[Gene]

Do. What's the word? What's going on? What's going on?

[Mike]

Can't call it, bro.

[Pat]

Bro type. Well, we can hear our echo in the background.

[Gene]

Damn.

[Mike]

Can you a little bit. No, we good. Don't touch it.

[Pat]

Yeah, don't touch it. Put them cheap ass headphones down. Play boy.

[Gene]

All right.

[Mike]

I got a question.

[Gene]

I got no headphones. They was gonna speak you, Pat.

[Mike]

Oh, what's up, Mike?

[Gene]

What's up, Gene?

[Pat]

This fat.

[Mike]

I got a question for you. What's something you wish people would stop doing?

[Gene]

I wish would really stop arguing on the phone with they girl in public. Like, loudly. Like, I was in traffic the other day. This on the phone outside of Panera Bread, like, full blown yelling. No, no, you listen to me. No, you listen to me. All you got to do is go. No, see, you talk. See, see you talking again. And I'm just at the light like I'm over here dying.

[Mike]

I'm not gonna lie. I do. Go ahead, Gus. My bad.

[Gene]

No, no, I would just go say, like, I just. Bro, just hang up on her, bro. You're gonna see her later.

[Mike]

No, I feel that. I think honestly, I judge some people that the type of arguments I see them have with their girls in public. I feel like if you. If it's super aggressive and you just seem very, like, angry, I'm like, I wonder what really goes on.

[Gene]

They don't think you beating on her.

[Pat]

No.

[Gene]

You know what I'm saying?

[Pat]

Nah, you gotta sometimes hear the logic, though.

[Mike]

Yeah, it depends what y' all arguing on.

[Pat]

Because some shit could just be like, I'm talking about like. Like when it's just you and your girl. Women know how to rage bait. They man like, very, very well. And just like, it'll be a time like you're making a point and it's just like, this is the pure logic of this. And it just be like, I don't give a about logic right now. What you mean you don't give about logic? And you got a nosy ass nigga like this pulling up to the side of a while, man. That's my pet peeve. Is a nigga staring at me.

[Gene]

That was loud as shit.

[Pat]

I'm talking to my girl. I'm on your driving.

[Mike]

I'm on your side, bro.

[Gene]

Yeah, I was at the light, my window down.

[Pat]

Now you gotta be. You gotta be careful though, man. Will crash out.

[Gene]

Nah, that's why. Hey, look, look. I don't be staring at. But you know what? I'm saying the was loud enough where I ain't had to look at him.

[Mike]

You start agreeing with him, and because you can hear, you just listen.

[Gene]

The can't get a sentence.

[Pat]

You whispering. What'd she say to that? She said what?

[Gene]

Hang up, Hang up, bro.

[Pat]

You done. You done with that.

[Gene]

Deserves you, bro. Hey. Next thing you know, he gonna see yourself on the Tyler Perry film.

[Pat]

No, no, no, no, no. Take our joke one step too far low.

[Gene]

Oh, you bet.

[Pat]

Where. Where you from, bro?

[Gene]

I'm from the DMV.

[Pat]

DMV? Oh, you coming to the. Coming to the show.

[Gene]

D.C. when is it?

[Pat]

What's that, the 12th?

[Mike]

September 12th. It's currently.

[Gene]

Oh, hell, yeah. My birthday. December 15th.

[Pat]

I'll be there a ask all that. We actually can't do the show.

[Mike]

Did he.

[Pat]

No, he says September. He said.

[Gene]

Oh. He said September.

[Pat]

Oh. Either way, when's your birthday?

[Mike]

Wait, When's your birthday?

[Gene]

December 15th. I thought the said December.

[Mike]

He said September. Let's still come out.

[Pat]

Pop out, bro.

[Gene]

Oh, yeah, definitely.

[Pat]

Yeah. You just made the pie, bro. You just sealed it right there. Good job, bro.

[Gene]

Sweet. That's hard.

[Pat]

Hey, yo.

[Mike]

All right, bro. You have a good one.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Mike]

What it do? What it do?

[Gene]

What's up with y', all, boy? Man?

[Mike]

Can't call it. That's my new word for today.

[Pat]

Can't call it.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Mike]

I got a question for you. What's something you wish people would stop doing?

[Gene]

Right, so, like, y' all know the saying, like, fall 100 times, get up 100 at one times.

[Pat]

I never heard it like that. I heard some virtue of that.

[Gene]

All right, all right. So, like, I'm not a mathematician, but I'm pretty sure you gotta fall the same amount of times that you get up because. Right, right. I'm walking right. Life, life kicking me, right? I fall down some hard times. That's one down. I can only get up another time. I can't get up more times than I fallen. You feel me?

[Mike]

I think. Cause you're already starting up, up.

[Gene]

Doesn't everybody start up?

[Pat]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. And that's where the count starts. So you go down more.

[Mike]

Go. If you go up, down, up, that's two to one.

[Gene]

No, no, no. That math ain't.

[Pat]

No, no, no. That ain't right, bro.

[Mike]

It's not.

[Pat]

No, no, no. You on the right track, but you're not describing it right.

[Gene]

I think other thing.

[Mike]

No, I think that's reverse, I guess. You got you, got you, got you, maybe.

[Pat]

But no, no, no, we up. You're wrong. You don't even know the same. Got talking about 100. If you fall 99 times, you get up 100.

[Gene]

Okay. Right.

[Pat]

That's not 100.

[Gene]

Math.

[Pat]

No, no, no, no, no. You fall more than you get up. That's the thing. You get up the last time. Oh, yeah. Because you get up one more time and you never fall again.

[Gene]

It's got to be even. It's got to be even. It can't ever be more so.

[Mike]

Then I was right then.

[Pat]

So if you fall, you get up. That's one fall.

[Mike]

Get up this two, I would say. Yeah.

[Gene]

They say you getting up more than you falling.

[Mike]

That's up as you fall.

[Pat]

So if you fall 99 times and you get up 98.

[Gene]

No, you get up 99.

[Pat]

Oh, okay.

[Gene]

You feel me?

[Mike]

That's why I always. I said, I think it's because you start up.

[Pat]

Yeah, you start up, you fall down, you fall down. Down, but fall down will be more.

[Mike]

So if you fall, you fall down once.

[Pat]

You fall down once and you get up.

[Mike]

That's two.

[Pat]

Fall down.

[Mike]

No, no, no. That's it. Just. Just keep it at that. That's 2 to 1. As long as you're getting up, you're getting up.

[Gene]

If you fall down one more time

[Mike]

than you are 99.

[Gene]

No, that's not it.

[Pat]

Y' all saying the same thing.

[Gene]

It's definitely right. It's definitely all the time.

[Pat]

Yes. The saying is off you we, bro.

[Gene]

Yes. Thank you.

[Mike]

What do you got? What's your message to the person that made up that saying? Who is the. Who made up that?

[Gene]

You know, I hate? You know, all the. All the fake, inspirational people, you know, I think y' all should just, you know, call it how it is and stop trying to make people feel better about themselves when you know life is bad.

[Mike]

What's a quote that you live by?

[Gene]

Shoot, that's. That's a good question. I ain't gonna lie.

[Mike]

I'll give you some time to think, bro.

[Gene]

You know, you got a chance and a choice. That's. That's my quote. That I live by.

[Mike]

Stop. Would do that. Pulse. Peaky Blinder memes on this story.

[Pat]

Hey, bro, all you hear on this story is get up, get up, get up. It's Monday, And he was waiting in the water. He was waiting the water. The guru came to the water, dipped his head underwater. He eat for five days.

[Mike]

Oh, man. All right, bro. You have a good one.

[Gene]

He was starving, man.

[Pat]

Beyonce. Beyonce was on the Beyonce. That's what I Dig it up. Beyonce on the set. She couldn't eat. She eat for five days. That's Beyonce. We got people that can't go to class.

[Mike]

Eto got me lightheaded as hell.

[Pat]

I'm mad at E.T. he had me waking up at 4am for no reason. I was like, what the Am I up right now? Why am I at a beach?

[Noni]

Hello?

[Mike]

Hello?

[Noni]

My mom called at the same time.

[Mike]

Oh, damn. You chose us over your mom?

[Noni]

Mom. Guys, you want me to be honest? My sister just gave birth, and my mom was trying to FaceTime me to show me my nephew, but I'm trying to talk to y'. All.

[Gene]

Oh, man.

[Pat]

Oh, she trying to FaceTime oh, she trying to FaceTime you, or she trying

[Mike]

to FaceTime her so she can show her nephew?

[Noni]

You got to show to show me my nephew.

[Pat]

Oh, he here, right? He got all. All, you know, his whole life.

[Mike]

Oh, my gosh.

[Gene]

Right?

[Noni]

You right.

[Pat]

Okay, the time is now.

[Gene]

All right.

[Mike]

I got a question for you.

[Noni]

Yeah.

[Mike]

What's something you wish people would stop doing?

[Noni]

I wish people would stop asking for space and just, like, break up or not.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Noni]

All right. I guess this is about me. This is about

[Pat]

somebody. Somebody asked for some space.

[Noni]

Okay. So, yeah, it was my wish, actually. So we've been together since, like, like, February, and then two weeks ago, he left to Florida, so we started, like, long distance. But I think Friday, he was like, he. The past three days before Friday, he was, like, acting so weird. Like, So I caught on to it. And then Friday morning, he's like, I'm so sorry. I just have a lot on my mind. I just don't know what to do. And I'm like, okay, are we gonna break up? Because he just, like, wasn't saying it, so he's like, no, no, I don't want to break up. I just need a few days of six. Oh, my bad. My bad. Should I just break up with him?

[Pat]

What you mean?

[Noni]

Because I heard

[Mike]

he's asking for. So he's asking for space, right?

[Noni]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mike]

After he already, like, physically got space away from you, right?

[Noni]

Yeah, yeah.

[Pat]

He's looking for new space?

[Noni]

No, because he. He just said, like, he needed. He didn't even say space. He just said he needed a few days to get situated and that we would, like, try on Monday. And I was like, well, what does that even mean? Like, am I not supposed to talk to you? Am I not supposed to?

[Pat]

Like, where? Like, do you mind? To, like, what? Like, how far apart is Florida from you? Like, how many.

[Noni]

How many I'm in Texas. Like, I think 18.

[Pat]

God damn. And he said he still needs space. That must be in a robot. He must be in a rocket ship right now. Give me a couple days to break orbit, then we can talk.

[Mike]

But the way you explained it, he said he needs to get situated. So, like, does he, like.

[Noni]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Does he just need time where he's like, needs to pack his stuff? I mean, like, unpack his stuff, get his apartment ready and stuff like that, where, like, he might not have as much time to talk to you all the time.

[Noni]

I know he's, like, just starting his, like, today. Today was his first day of work. But, like, the past few days, he had been like, he had to go get his uniform. He had to go, like, sign up for everything. Like, okay.

[Pat]

So maybe that's like, okay, question, question, question. When he says space. When he says space, does that mean, like, you aren't texting or is just like, oh, space. We can't fall asleep on FaceTime tonight. I gotta wake up early. Like, what type of space we talking?

[Noni]

Well, I. That's what I asked, but he just, like, didn't answer because I guess, like, we were texting about so much. But one of the big things was, like, I. I didn't start my period, so we were, like, worried about everything. And it was like, he's like, you need to let me know what happened so I could decide. But my thing was, like, if I do get pregnant and you're just gonna stay on me for the baby, I would rather you, my baby, have no death and you stay for, like, no reason.

[Pat]

Oh, how old are you?

[Noni]

I'm 21.

[Pat]

Okay.

[Gene]

Okay. All right.

[Pat]

We just, you know, we, like, we start asking that because, like, like, at 30, we, like, have so much advice for you. But, like, at 21, like, come on now. This is just like, one of the relationships you have before you meet your real man. You know what I'm saying?

[Noni]

I know, I know, I know. It's just like, this is just happening to me right now.

[Gene]

But.

[Noni]

And then I. So he. Today. So today, Sunday. And then yesterday I was at the hospital, like, with my sister in, like, the waiting room and everything. And I text him, like, I can't do this. I'm breaking up with you. Like, I'm not going to wait for you to break up with me. I'm done. And then an hour later, I text him that I was sorry, that I didn't want to break up with him. What did he, like, I was.

[Pat]

Wait, whoa, whoa. What was his response? To you breaking up with him that.

[Noni]

Well, I don't like, I don't know what he was doing. So he like took a while to answer. But I guess that's why like I like, I had time to think so I sent the apology.

[Pat]

So you got. You got you double text a breakup and a get back together.

[Gene]

Yes.

[Noni]

Yes. He's like, he's like, it's okay. I'm so sorry for confusing you. I would just like the. A few more the days to think about it. And I didn't like text nothing back because he said he wanted his face. But like, like that's the last thing y.

[Pat]

Say. I'm. I'mma let you know. I'm Put you. I'mma put you on game. He. He want to break up with you, but he don't want you to hate him and he don't want to be. He. He probably got a hard time being a bad guy, cuz there's no way, you know, he just moved there. He having problems already. To where? You know, there must have been some. Either there was something wrong before he left or the distance is just too much for him, you know. And he got.

[Carrie]

Yeah.

[Noni]

And that because my. My boyfriend, he's like, like, like he's been like that since he's been like 16. Like he's been moving.

[Pat]

You keep calling him your boyfriend. Yeah, you gotta.

[Noni]

Yeah, well, we're still together.

[Gene]

Like.

[Carrie]

Yeah.

[Noni]

Till Monday. Till Monday. Till Monday.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Yeah. Learn to let go. I'm glad you came to big bros. You know what I'm saying? Just like get ready for that little. Make sure you like, you know, go make sure you're around family. You know what I'm saying? Maybe you should pick up that coffee. Yeah. Go, go see your nephew.

[Noni]

Yeah, well, tomorrow I'll be at work. So it's like. Is he gonna break up with me at work?

[Mike]

Like it depends though. Oh my God. Not relationship experts.

[Noni]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Mike]

Well, Pat, my Pat is a self proclaimed relationship.

[Pat]

I literally got a degree in it. Hey, come on, man. Dr. Johnson. No, I'm not showing no credentials. Don't ask either. Disrespectful to my craft.

[Mike]

Honestly, like just see it all the way through. I. You're 21. You're going to get your heart broken a couple times. Maybe once. Maybe, maybe, maybe you might get 19.

[Noni]

Like. Like finding the love of their life.

[Mike]

Hey, that's. That's.

[Noni]

Why couldn't that be me?

[Mike]

That's just chances. That's just them.

[Pat]

That's. That's. That's their Timing, too. That's not your timing. Let me let her talk to the expert real quick.

[Mike]

Go ahead.

[Noni]

All right. Come on.

[Pat]

Fine. Listen, you gotta see this. It's up. It's right in front of your face. God damn. That's all I got. No real shit. You know the answer already. You knew the answer, bro, before you called us. You just needed somebody to vent to. I'm glad we can be here for you, though.

[Mike]

Now go call your nephew. Yeah, yeah, go see your nephew.

[Pat]

Yeah, go see your nephew.

[Noni]

So what? So he quit. He could hear all his life. He said, you said, what if tomorrow, like, I do go to work and he does break up with me, like, or he doesn't break up with me, and we just, like, got it.

[Pat]

Like, listen, listen. I would. I would. I. I would. You love your job, right?

[Noni]

Nah, not really.

[Pat]

Well, even you just don't want to see people. You. You don't want people to see you like that. Just in case I would do it.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Pat]

Just do it afterwards.

[Mike]

Word.

[Pat]

You know what I mean?

[Noni]

But he was supposed to text me. It's not like, God damn, am I stupid?

[Pat]

No, you're not stupid. You're just going through it. You got to learn it yourself. You know what I'm saying?

[Noni]

Yeah, even.

[Pat]

Even our words really don't matter. Experience matters. That's all. That's all we got for you. I'm running.

[Noni]

So should I have. Should I have not sent the sorry text yesterday and just, like, broke up?

[Pat]

You already did it. You already did it. Yeah, it's too late. It's the noun. So you only can control the next step. That's it.

[Noni]

Oh, my God.

[Pat]

What's done is done.

[Noni]

Yeah, that's true. That's true.

[Pat]

Stop calling him your boyfriend, though.

[Noni]

He. He is till tomorrow.

[Gene]

Okay?

[Mike]

Have you talked to your, like, your female friends about this?

[Noni]

Bro, I don't got no friends. Like, I'm years out of high school. I'm surrounded by my family. Like, okay, I don't got no friends.

[Pat]

You got an older sister, though, right? No, that's your older brother that's having a kid.

[Gene]

Get.

[Noni]

That's my younger sister.

[Pat]

Oh, should ask her for younger. Okay. Yeah, that's none of my business.

[Noni]

She's 20. She's.

[Mike]

All right, go.

[Noni]

Oh, wait, wait. Mike. Congratulations on your baby.

[Mike]

Thank you, thank you. Thank you so much.

[Noni]

Of course. Of course. I love y' all podcast.

[Pat]

Go tell your sister that, man. What the.

[Mike]

She told me before she told her sister. It's crazy.

[Pat]

Be online and then go, like, little Baby for. They like my.

[Noni]

All right, I'll be watching y' all podcast Monday, single.

[Mike]

All right, bye, guys. All right, see you.

[Noni]

All right, Wednesday. Bye.

[Mike]

Bye.

[Gene]

Hold on. Give me a second. I'm at the hospital.

[Pat]

Who having a baby?

[Gene]

Hello? Hold on. Can y' all hear me?

[Mike]

Why you at the hospital?

[Gene]

No, I'm at the hospital. What's up?

[Mike]

Why are you at the hospital?

[Gene]

My mom in here.

[Pat]

Oh, damn prayer.

[Mike]

She all right?

[Gene]

Yeah, yeah, she. She doing better. She, you know, she had, you know, a little brain. She had a brain bleeders and a stroke, but she's doing way better. Damn, bro.

[Pat]

Sorry to hear that, bro.

[Mike]

Sorry about that.

[Gene]

Yeah, that's cool. Thank you.

[Mike]

Wow, he just made it very somber.

[Pat]

Yeah,

[Gene]

she in high spirits and stuff. She up and laughing.

[Pat]

Oh, okay. We glad we could be here for you, bro. We got. I got a question for you into. Name your top five and we'll guess the category.

[Gene]

All right. Steph Curry, Kyrie Irving, Allen Iverson, Kevin Durant, and Tiana Trump.

[Pat]

Something's not adding up. Steph Curry. Okay, go go through them one more time.

[Gene]

Steph Curry, Kyrie Irving, Allen Iverson, Kevin Durant, and Teanna Trump.

[Mike]

All right, I'm going to guess ball handlers.

[Gene]

Yeah, top five ball handlers of all time, bro. Let me go through it, though, for you. Okay, so Steph Curry. Now people be looking at Steph Curry. He the top shooter, but he really is one of the top ball handlers. For real. Kyrie Irving. That's self explanatory. Allen Iverson. That's self explanatory. Kevin Durant, that one little dribble cross. That's self explanatory. But Tiana Trump, she got me through some tough nights, man. Like, man, growing up had me just. I used to cry to her work. Like that ball handle. I used to cry.

[Mike]

Cry, bro. Like, tears in your eyes.

[Gene]

Like, first, it mesmerized me. Like, bro, she really got it.

[Mike]

She retired now, though. You know that.

[Gene]

Michael Jordan came back. So you know what I'm saying? Everybody have a double take. How you doing?

[Noni]

Good.

[Gene]

Y' all feeling me though, though?

[Mike]

No, but wait. It's crazy having such a horny conversation.

[Pat]

Like, where's your mom at right now? Hi to a nurse.

[Gene]

Well, she. She in the icu. I'm in a little hallway.

[Pat]

Oh, okay.

[Mike]

She's an intensive care unit, and you are talking about Tiana Trump being a ball handler.

[Gene]

Oh, man. Bro, look, I. Look, it was. Look, when I was in. I was in the room and I saw y' all story. I was like, bro, I gotta say something. I gotta get on here. And, like, it's bad timing, you know what I'm saying?

[Pat]

But Tiana Trump's in the relationship, though, right?

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah.

[Gene]

No, I thought she. I thought she went with dude no more.

[Mike]

I don't know. I don't know.

[Pat]

Yeah, we don't know. You should know better than us.

[Gene]

I don't really know either. I was just. I thought I seen something like that on Twitter.

[Pat]

Okay, what's your message to Tiana Trump? Just in case she not

[Gene]

get back in the game, bruh. Damn. You see LeBron just signed again. Older. Get your ass back in there. I'm saying we need more plays. We need more highlights. I'm saying, like, it's a highlight sport. We know this. Come on. Not getting back in the game, bro.

[Mike]

You feel like you want out here today? Do you feel like you watched all her content, though? You don't think there's enough content out there to. To enjoy?

[Gene]

No, I. I never. I never really went to, like, her, like, the older, because I'm only. Only 24, you know, so I didn't see no back when I was, like, in middle school. But, like, when I got older, I started seeing her. But, yeah, bro, you know what I'm saying, Brian? Been the least since I was born, bro. Get back in there. You know what I'm saying? These new ain't got it like you do.

[Pat]

I think you should rephrase that statement.

[Gene]

These new. These new women not, you know, these new women ain't got it like you do got it.

[Pat]

What's like, who. Who's the greatest to you right now that she's retired?

[Gene]

I. I don't really know because I just be on Twitter, you know, saying I just hit the little bookmarks and that be it.

[Mike]

Oh, my God.

[Pat]

Everybody's ultra horny Bookmarks is.

[Gene]

It's like, I'm not. I'm not like a. You know, I'll be going crazy like that, like, maybe like once a week, but, like, you know what I'm saying? Type. But yeah, I know you're gonna get me up out of here.

[Mike]

You already know, bro. Go check up on your mom, bro.

[Pat]

No real.

[Gene]

I mess with y' all heavy, you know what I'm saying? I'm from Detroit, you know what I'm saying? You know, I'll be watching every week when I'm at work.

[Pat]

I appreciate you, bro.

[Gene]

Yeah, for sure.

[Pat]

All right, bro, Go wash your hands

[Mike]

before

[Gene]

you can sanitizer on deck. All right. Hello.

[Mike]

How's it going?

[Pat]

Yo, welcome to Crash on Me Spot. What's good?

[Noni]

Hello.

[Mike]

What up?

[Pat]

What up?

[Noni]

Hey, Pat.

[Pat]

What's the word?

[Noni]

What's going on, guys?

[Mike]

What up? What up?

[Pat]

What's happening?

[Noni]

What's up?

[Pat]

All right, I got a question for you.

[Noni]

I'm listening.

[Pat]

All right. If you could get a message to anybody in the world, who would it be, and what would you say?

[Noni]

Yeah, so this I was talking to, he asked me for $150, and I gave it to him, and now he's giving me the runaround when he supposed to be sending it back.

[Pat]

What you give him the $150 for?

[Noni]

Well, he had told me that he went to jail and that he had to pay his own bail. And he was just giving me a bunch of sob story. And so he was like, I don't have no money to get nothing to eat. Can you please send me, like, 150? I was like, for sure. I got you.

[Mike]

Well, he got a hundred fifty bail

[Pat]

that did go to a steakhouse.

[Mike]

What do you sell, a candy bar?

[Noni]

No, he. He had, like, a bail, like 600, he told me. But he had to empty his savings, I guess, to pay the bill.

[Gene]

I don't know.

[Pat]

But, like, what meal was that getting with 150? Somebody told me they hungry. That don't equal $150 to me. So, like, what else did he tell you?

[Noni]

He just was like, I just need food for the week. So.

[Pat]

Hold on, hold on, hold on. How do you know him?

[Mike]

That's what I was gonna say. Who is he, too?

[Noni]

Okay, so he's an old fling from college. Like, we used to mess around back in the day. And, like, recently I went to. I ain't gonna say his city, but I flew into his city for a concert, and we had linked up, so we had been communicating again, but I didn't know the was going through some.

[Pat]

Okay. Oh, so communicating that mean y' all was like. Y' all was, you know, okay, that's worth 150. He knocked the. He knocked the sonic coins out your ass, so you gave it up.

[Mike]

So what? What's the excuse that he's giving that he doesn't want to give you the money for?

[Noni]

He's not giving me no excuse. He stopped texting me back.

[Mike]

Damn.

[Pat]

Damn.

[Mike]

Only 50.

[Pat]

That must. That must have been gone right on my skin, you know, they said, I guess. But you know who asked? 150. He asked for that specific number.

[Gene]

150, yes.

[Pat]

Oh, spend that.

[Noni]

And that's my thing because, like, look, I own my own business, so money not nothing to me. So for him to try to like, you know, play like he want a relationship for 150, it's like, you wanna know?

[Pat]

You wanna know our favorite song?

[Noni]

What?

[Pat]

Where are my scamminess at?

[Noni]

Where y' all at?

[Pat]

You ain't getting that 150 bag.

[Noni]

That's okay. That's more where that came from, bro.

[Pat]

Spin that. Spin that. You got enough trick.

[Noni]

Like, when I like a. It's like you say you like that hat. I don't know how I ended up on your front door the next day.

[Mike]

I respect it.

[Pat]

No, that's real.

[Mike]

You just gotta take this one on the chin. Like, take this loss.

[Pat]

Whoa.

[Mike]

Or take it off.

[Noni]

Take the loss.

[Pat]

Why don't you tell her? Take it on the chin like a punch. A what?

[Mike]

Like a punch.

[Noni]

You always want some freaky shit.

[Mike]

Always right? Too freaky. Freaky. Pat in the chat.

[Pat]

Ah, she called me out.

[Noni]

Matt, Mike, I have something to tell you.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Noni]

You called me out on a episode a couple episodes back.

[Gene]

Remember?

[Noni]

Whenever you read a comment and you was like the dude on the right, his goofy laugh.

[Gene]

Uh huh.

[Noni]

That was me.

[Mike]

So you think I have a goofy laugh?

[Noni]

Yes. And that's the reason I started watching the show. I didn't know who y' all was. I. I'm a big fan of Poor Minds. And when y' all came on there, I subscribed to y' all and that video I commented on, that was my first ever time watching y'.

[Pat]

All.

[Noni]

So I didn't know y' all's names yet. So I was like, on the right. He got a goofy ass laugh. That's the only reason I started watching y'.

[Mike]

All.

[Noni]

Cause your laugh is so funny.

[Pat]

Oh, that's fire.

[Mike]

Okay, thank you.

[Carrie]

That's right.

[Pat]

I heard that a lot of times before. For let's. That's. You're not the first person to say that, bro.

[Mike]

Shut up.

[Pat]

Be getting off on his lap.

[Noni]

He is fine though. But he married. Oh, and congratulations on your marriage in the baby, Mike.

[Mike]

Thank you so much.

[Pat]

Yeah, she a trick for sure. She couldn't even help herself. He's fine. But he married, though. Who are. Who you arguing with yourself.

[Mike]

She can compl.

[Carrie]

She.

[Mike]

I can take a compliment. She can compliment.

[Gene]

She.

[Pat]

She shouldn't say you fine though. She should say you like. You're like a very, like, good looking and like, fine is like. I want to.

[Mike]

No, it's not.

[Pat]

Yes, it is.

[Noni]

I don't want to Fuck, I didn't take it down.

[Pat]

Don't worry. She wants to fuck.

[Mike]

Pat is freaky. I understand what you meant. I appreciate the compliment.

[Pat]

She wants to. She's a trick. She tricking.

[Noni]

I am a trick. I'm not going to shy away from that.

[Pat]

You going to have to come. Big money over here,

[Noni]

but the niggas don't have big money no more. We the niggas with my.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Hey, she's proud of you.

[Mike]

Equal rights.

[Noni]

Equal rights.

[Mike]

Oh, but how's the dating scene for you now, though? How's it going? It's. It's tough out there, you know, it's

[Noni]

tough like the just don't have their own money. Like a. The other day I told him I was at the bank and he was like, oh, what, you getting some for me? I was like, what's happening?

[Mike]

Oh, man, we used to hunt.

[Pat]

No, that's crazy.

[Noni]

I used to go fight and die at war.

[Pat]

I've been at Taco Bell, and somebody's like, yo, can you give me a taco? But hey, can you give me the babe? Hey, can you give me an extra 100 bill while you're there? I ain't know you was going there.

[Noni]

Oh, man, I don't even present myself like a trick. You really just gotta know me to know. But I guess, like, my social media niggas know I got money. I don't know know.

[Pat]

Oh, what you got on your social media?

[Noni]

Well, I'm a nail tech, so I always travel. I'm always posting my work.

[Mike]

Shout out your nail tech business. Shout out.

[Noni]

Okay, so, y', all, I'm located in New Orleans, Louisiana, and soon to be located in Dallas.

[Mike]

Okay?

[Noni]

My Instagram is Joel's Nail Garden. So J. O. S Nail Garden. I'm the hottest in the city with me.

[Mike]

Shout out to you. You come to our Dallas show. We're gonna be there in September.

[Noni]

You know what I will see about that?

[Pat]

Can trick on everybody but us, man. Yeah, you can't trick now. We done with you, dog. That's what I be saying. Y' all tricks ain't got no morals, man. Spending money on a hat but can't come to the show type of is

[Noni]

that, oh, hey, he doing things y' all not doing. I'm just saying.

[Pat]

Yeah, he doing other things. Like, hey, let's do something. He do do hang up.

[Mike]

You have a good one.

[Pat]

Come on, now. We gotta start acting like just. I guess we gota start acting like them to get paid.

[Gene]

Hello. Yo, yo, what's up, Y.

[Mike]

What up? What up?

[Gene]

Hold up, man.

[Pat]

No, you hold on.

[Gene]

You said what? I said cooling.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah.

[Pat]

I thought you said. Hold on. My fault, bro.

[Mike]

What question did you.

[Gene]

I said on cooling.

[Mike]

My.

[Pat]

I said my fault, bro.

[Mike]

What question. What question did you ask? Answer.

[Gene]

My fault. My fault. You said. Oh, no, it was. It was. Hold on. Let me go look at it real quick.

[Pat]

Oh, my God.

[Gene]

Y' all called.

[Pat]

I have, like. I have, like, great instincts. I don't like this.

[Mike]

I know.

[Gene]

Talk to y' all before, but y' all both is giggling and.

[Pat]

Oh, don't say that. I had y' all laughing.

[Gene]

I said the 1. A confession you want to make.

[Mike]

Well, what's.

[Gene]

I gotta change my voice, though.

[Mike]

What's the confession you want to make?

[Gene]

If Mike say low hanging fruit one more time, I'm gonna blow my brains

[Mike]

up and explain yourself.

[Pat]

No, just say low hanging fruit. Unless you get the call over with. Say little hanging fruit.

[Mike]

I want to hear.

[Gene]

I think you want me to die.

[Mike]

I want to hear what he has to say first.

[Gene]

Nah, bro. Cause I've been listening to y' all first for, like, probably three, four. Three years.

[Mike]

Some three years.

[Pat]

I used to be.

[Gene]

Yeah. So, like, different times, depending on what job I have, I would be, like, audio listening and everything. And I'm a barber now, so, like, I've been listening to it lately. I can pay more attention than I could in the past.

[Pat]

Congrats, bro.

[Gene]

Like, lately. Appreciate it. But I've been. I've been listening to it lately, and I'm, like, able to pay more attention to it. And. And I. I've realized, like, in the past last two days, I've heard this say low hanging fruit about 16 times.

[Pat]

16. Okay, let's get the real count on that before you just start throwing out numbers.

[Mike]

He's just.

[Pat]

16 is crazy.

[Mike]

He's just saying, bro. You know, when you do. Let me. Let me explain to you something. When you do a podcast and you have 271,000. I mean, 271 episodes out, probably almost 300, including Patreon. All right? There's going to be times you repeat words. You understand that? The same time. I understand that for sure. I understand the same way you tell your clients the same old story about how your girl left you when you cutting their hair is the same way, I might say.

[Gene]

I never said that. I don't need to talk to them when I be working.

[Pat]

No. What you doing right now? This low hanging fruit, what you're doing? Because that's. You just. You just attacking wordplay, bro. There's 271 episodes.

[Gene]

I'm not. I'm not attacking. No, I'm genuine.

[Pat]

What else are you supposed to say? Like, what's the substitute? Where this got the word, what's the substitute?

[Mike]

Right. Give me another word. So start using it.

[Gene]

I don't know. You just got to explain your vocab.

[Pat]

No, you said low hanging fruit to

[Mike]

expand my roll cap.

[Pat]

No, no, you said. Said low. He say low hanging fruit, which is, like, a common thing to say so people understand it. What should he replace it with?

[Gene]

I don't know. Just the frequency, man.

[Pat]

They just.

[Gene]

Yeah, I'll be hearing. Cuz, like, I listen. I mean, yeah, if they hearing it live, it's a week apart. But, like, I listened to, like, multiple episodes in a row, and, like, at least once every episode, I heard it. It's just like.

[Pat]

So you said. You said nobody else on the pod say something every episode the same way.

[Gene]

I mean, yeah, you say ass every pie, but, like, whoa.

[Pat]

I didn't say this part yet. This is perfect. You.

[Gene]

First of all, first of all, all Mike's Nigerian.

[Pat]

Okay.

[Mike]

You just came on here to glaze, huh?

[Pat]

No, that's right. Oh, shout out your clients, bro, because they listening to this right now. And you showing them and you smiling.

[Gene]

N. Actually, no, actually, real. I'll be in the. I'll be in the. When I'll be in the shop. Sometimes I'll be playing a podcast, be asking me what podcast it is. So I'll be putting people on and,

[Pat]

like, play this in the pile right here. Play this in the piece. Yo, yo. Hey, this. What's your name, bro?

[Gene]

Cassius.

[Pat]

Cassius.

[Gene]

Cassius, like Cassius Clay.

[Pat]

Oh, yeah. Yo, Nigerian cashes. Shout out to my Nigerian nigga. Cashes. He putting y' all on in his barbershop. I know he a couple of y' all heads up, but it don't matter. He got crash. He got crashed on these pies.

[Gene]

Look at my page. Look at my page.

[Pat]

I'll be telling famous people I saw your. I got dizzy.

[Mike]

And it's okay to let him know. And it's okay to let him know his fingers, fingers stink.

[Gene]

My fingers. Top of your lipstick. All right, bro.

[Mike]

You have a good one, bro. Low hanging fruit and low hanging fruit. Low hanging fruit.

[Pat]

Come on, let's get low hanging. Whoa, no, no, no.

[Mike]

Try to hear the boom.

[Pat]

Let's hear it.

[Gene]

That wild.

[Mike]

All right, bro. Oh, my gosh. What up, what up?

[Pat]

What up, bro?

[Gene]

Straight.

[Pat]

Yep, yep,

[Mike]

yep.

[Gene]

All right.

[Pat]

I got a question for you. If you can get a message to anybody in the world. Who would it be and what would it say?

[Gene]

All right, first, get a message to R. Kelly, the man himself, Robert. Tell him to hold his head in that jail cell. Don't be a prisoner of the moment, literally. Because right now, a lot of people getting canceled, bro. And it's just like, I feel like R. Kelly, the only person that really fully got canceled. Like, you know how people be like, oh, I separate the music from the person. I just watched the Michael Jackson documentary. Yes, I'm the same that called y' all that long time ago, hating on Michael Jackson. I just watched the Michael Jackson documentary on Netflix, and he called that little boy a blow hole. But nobody act like they ain't hear that, bro. Come on, bro, that's crazy. You can't call no little kid a blow hole and then be the king of pop. So all I'm saying is, when I'm at the weddings, when I'm at cool family vibes and that step in the name of love. Come on. Joy around the whole room, bro. That's like an undeniable song of happiness, man. Bro, that. What's the other song he got? Happy people. Undeniable, bro. He just gotta stay on that path. Like, the road to redemption is a long road, bro. Think about how long Chris Brown been trying to redeem it. Yo, I had to turn on my earbuds. What's good?

[Pat]

What's good? What's good? I got a question for you, bro.

[Gene]

What's up?

[Pat]

All right. If you can get a message to anybody in the world, who would it be? And what would happen to, say,

[Gene]

Mitch McConnell? For real? For real. I just need to. Just talk to him. I just need to see if the WI fi gonna drop. I guess it's not really a question. For real. I just need to know if he real. Like, is he dead? Like, he's still here.

[Mike]

Okay, if you ask him that question and he says he's still alive, what changes?

[Gene]

That's a lie. I know it's a lie because we all know he did.

[Mike]

Okay?

[Gene]

Now I know that the whole government is lying.

[Mike]

Got it? So what if he said what he tells you he's dead? Or what if somebody tells you, somebody confirms that he's dead?

[Gene]

If he dead, then we good.

[Noni]

For real? For real.

[Gene]

Then we can move on. We can, you know, I'm saying, change all these laws.

[Pat]

Where you. Where are you? Where are you from? Where are you from?

[Gene]

Richmond, Virginia.

[Pat]

You vote?

[Gene]

Hell, no. My. My vote should not count as everybody else like, mine shouldn't be equal. I know that.

[Pat]

So, like, how you. How you wor. People be worried about politicians and. And they don't even vote locally.

[Gene]

Nah. Nope. I leave that up to everybody else because I don't make a wrong decision.

[Mike]

So why do you care about Mr.

[Gene]

Gotta know their Place? Because he just making laws for women and stuff like that.

[Pat]

No, it's Mitch McConnell for sure. Thousand.

[Gene]

Exactly. That's the main thing. You really don't even need a reason for it.

[Mike]

Yes. Yes, yes, yes.

[Gene]

We just got to make sure he gone.

[Pat]

But it sound like you got a good head on your shoulders. I don't get why you're not voting, then.

[Noni]

I don't know.

[Gene]

Just. I really. I don't want to up or everybody else, I guess. I mean, one vote. It's just like, bro, what if I was that one vote that up everything

[Mike]

but what was your. The one book? Was there one vote? Was your. The one vote that could change everything as well?

[Pat]

They call it voting apathy, bro. You're not voting apathy or something?

[Gene]

Nah, just. Oh, it's been like this forever, bro. I already knew I wasn't gonna vote. There's other people in the world that, like, study this. I don't study this.

[Pat]

But why don't you, then? Why don't you listen to them?

[Gene]

I don't listen to them. I don't talk to them. I just, you know, here and there, but I just be on my own, bro. If it ain't cars, I don't care.

[Pat]

That's cool. Oh, man, you live your life how you want to, bro. Did, like, did Mitch McConnell come up on your algorithm or something? How did you even learn about him?

[Gene]

For real?

[Noni]

For real.

[Gene]

Just like you scroll on Tick Tock, bro. Everybody's talking about, is he dead? Is he not dead? And I seen a post the other day, and they was talking about he. He chilling with Sasquatch. It was like a up, you know, 180p photo. And. And I'm like, bro, all right, bro. Really kind of figured it out. All right, bro.

[Mike]

All right, bro. You have a good one, man.

[Gene]

All right, bro.

[Mike]

Y', all, too. Peace.

[Gene]

One sec, guys, I'm in the gym. Let me run out now.

[Pat]

You good, bro? Let's start this question, y'.

[Gene]

All.

[Pat]

Got a question for you.

[Gene]

What's up?

[Pat]

If you can get a message to anybody in the world, who would it be, and what would you say?

[Gene]

If I could get a message to anyone in the world, it would be to. There's a girl I used to hook up with many years ago, many moons ago, and apologize for giving her the worst gift I've ever given to anybody.

[Mike]

What made it the worst to anybody?

[Gene]

I've never performed this bad in my life.

[Mike]

What was bad about it?

[Gene]

So for one, I just. I just did not last. Busted. So fast.

[Mike]

How fast we talking?

[Gene]

So, bro, like, fast enough to like. Like. I knew it was fast. Yeah, I mean, you talk about like

[Mike]

two minutes, five minutes.

[Gene]

Dude, probably.

[Pat]

No, no, no, ain't no probably.

[Gene]

The thing is, I don't even remember. Dude

[Pat]

was under 30 seconds.

[Mike]

Okay, keep going though.

[Pat]

Finish at the speed of light.

[Gene]

It had to be like, like, literally I could not have been more than five minutes.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Gene]

And so, yeah, so like, we thought, whatever. I don't remember if there's much foreplay or not, but because I was back visiting in town and I was like, yo, come to my hotel room, room. Like, you know, so she comes over. This is before, like, I was about to go out because it was like 9pm or something. And so we hook up. And I was just like partly in my fields, partly embarrassed because I was going through or not going through, but like I was going through a divorce at the time. Like I. Me and my ex.

[Pat]

No, no, no, no, no, no. Stay on the course of the story. Don't do that.

[Gene]

Well, no, this part of it, like, this is. I. Well, I feel like this is probably why I gave her whack dick. Because I was like in my feelings. And also I probably. I think she was probably the first person I'd hooked up with since, like my ex wife.

[Pat]

Oh, okay. My fault.

[Gene]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so like, whatever, we hook up. Terrible dick. And so me, I'm the type, like, normally, you know why you keep glossing.

[Pat]

But like every time you say yo, terrible dick, you try to like, like go past it really fast.

[Gene]

No, no, no, no.

[Pat]

So normally,

[Gene]

normally after like, you know, I'll last a good amount of time, whatever, in 30 minutes, 40 minutes, 20 minutes, whatever. A normal time. Right? But like, I'm the type, I don't like rounds. Like, once I nut that's it, I'm done. Don't like, unless you trying to give me an hour, two hours later that day, that's fine. But I'm not going back to back.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Gene]

And so she, after, like, I bust super fast. She's like, oh, like, it's fine. Like, we'll just give it a couple of minutes and we'll go again. And I'm just like, not with that.

[Pat]

That's.

[Gene]

I Literally, I was like. I was. I literally. I was like, not like, my boys are waiting for me downtown. I got to go.

[Mike]

Oh, that's crazy.

[Gene]

Oh, yeah.

[Pat]

He blamed on his divorce that he came fast.

[Gene]

I think. I think it probably would because I probably hadn't hooked up with somebody in, like, maybe a couple months.

[Mike]

But, like, were you having sex with your. Your ex wife?

[Gene]

I was.

[Pat]

But you.

[Gene]

You go two nuts without busting. You can bust fast.

[Pat]

Why?

[Gene]

Or two. Two months. My bad.

[Pat]

Why. Why did you get a divorce?

[Gene]

Why did I get a divorce?

[Pat]

That's what I asked you.

[Gene]

I mean, I. I divorced her, but, like, I wasn't a good partner in that relationship.

[Mike]

Okay, all right.

[Pat]

This is a weird way of answering that question. Okay.

[Mike]

It wasn't like infidelity or just like, you guys just grew apart.

[Gene]

It was like. It was. There was both. So, like, I. I was cheating the whole time, but she never left me over it. I feel like I eventually grew apart from her because I was with her since high school. Yeah. So we were together, like, eight years or something. So eventually got to the point where. Where it was probably like, I just don't feel like this is my partner no more, and, like, I can't just keep dragging her like this.

[Pat]

She never cheated back?

[Gene]

No.

[Mike]

How you know of.

[Gene]

No, I mean, sure. That I know, but I'm pretty confident in that. Like, I, you know, had gone through her phone times before and stuff like that. So.

[Pat]

You cheating and going through phones. Holy.

[Gene]

When you're the one doing that, that's projecting, you know?

[Mike]

What's your message to the girl that you gave. You did bad to.

[Gene]

Let me run it back. I promise I could do better.

[Mike]

Oh, you want to run it back?

[Gene]

I'll run it back.

[Mike]

Have you hit her up? Have you hit her? Oh, so you weren't single when you did that?

[Gene]

Well, freshly broken up. But I'm saying, like, if I ran it back now, it. It's no issue. I wouldn't be. This wouldn't be cheating. Like, you know, like, times in the past.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Pat]

You just, like. You got a weird way of saying a lot of.

[Mike]

All right, bro. You have a good one, man.

[Pat]

This is weird.

[Gene]

Yeah, man. Y' all, too.

[Mike]

All right.

[Pat]

Okay. I got. I got a question for you, Mike.

[Mike]

All right.

[Pat]

Okay. What's the first text you send when you're trying to get out of plans?

[Mike]

I. I re asked the question of what time the event starts. Cause then I feel like that opens up a. An alley for me to then say, I didn't know that was the time it was starting, so it kind of gives me a little out, like. Oh, damn. It's actually starting at 10. Yeah, damn. I thought it was starting at 8, bro. I don't think I can make it.

[Pat]

No, the. The one thing I do, I say the wrong date on purpose. So just, like, if something's on the 10th, they'd be like, yo, bro, you. You popping out. And I'm like, yeah, bro, I'mma be there on the 9th, bro. They'd be like, no, no, bro, it's the 10th. The 10th. You always got the bro. What the. Look, I had this planned out. I'm so mad right now.

[Carrie]

Y' all just incriminated y' all selves. The next time I see one of y', all, you.

[Pat]

Carrie, Carrie, honestly with you, I'm telling you the truth.

[Mike]

Yeah, me too.

[Pat]

Hey, Carrie, I'm gassy. I'm not coming. Is there. Is there a place to fart there or not?

[Mike]

Carrie, that sounds like a terrible idea. I would be sitting this one out.

[Gene]

Wow.

[Pat]

Not gonna lie. If I doom scroll there, am I gonna be judged?

[Mike]

Where would you even invite us to?

[Carrie]

I would invite y' all out to state fair, like, as a group. Yeah.

[Pat]

Are we vlogging it?

[Carrie]

Yep.

[Pat]

I'm about to say we ain't vlogging. I ain't lying. Like, I wasn't gonna show up regularly.

[Carrie]

When was the last time you vlogged me?

[Pat]

I've never vlogged before in my life. Like, not, like by myself. I just feel like it's just very boring.

[Mike]

Well, we can go to the state fair. I'm down.

[Carrie]

I don't ride rides. I'm really.

[Mike]

When is the state fair?

[Pat]

We should go on, right? That's the whole point. I hate rice, too. I challenge you to go on a ride. Do you like rides?

[Mike]

No, you don't.

[Pat]

You don't like the. I saw, like, the roller coaster. They unpacked that in two hours and built.

[Carrie]

Why would I put my life on that?

[Mike]

How long is the State Fair to. 16.

[Gene]

16.

[Mike]

Come on, let's go.

[Carrie]

I was going to lie.

[Pat]

We got another twin here. I'm like, oh, tomorrow, come right here so we can show off our twins using.

[Carrie]

What do you use them for?

[Pat]

These Collect items. I just used it and approved. Like, damn, I'm not that ugly.

[Mike]

Oh, my gosh.

[Carrie]

You should be saying mentorship.

[Pat]

Follow them on Instagram. The Youngest Pharaohs. I just signed these. I own these.

[Mike]

Could have been somebody said y' all sexualized the word daddy too much. My kid's gonna have to call me King Slime.

[Pat]

No, real, I used to call my dad daddy until like up until like 2007. And then somebody heard me. They be like, he, yo, daddy, what the going on in your house? You're calling me dad daddy.

[Carrie]

Society is overly just freaked out though.

[Mike]

It is. There's a lot of.

[Carrie]

We've got problems.

[Mike]

No, it is a lot of. It's the Internet though.

[Pat]

Yeah. It's a younger generation, to be honest. I hate to be like the old head. It's the young, but it's them young. Freaky though, the YF fans I call them. No, real them are so freaky, bro, that's really not even cool. This is tweet thread that I really like. It says, see you balling then want to follow you.

[Mike]

Oh, follow you, follow you.

[Pat]

Tweet, tweet. Two at the line, they see you balling. So in life, I'm saying they see you balling and they like, no, no, no, I'm about to hate. Yeah, I have to bring you down, send you to the free throw line. And then it was a bunch of people, you know, tweeting under it, making their own little analogies. Somebody said, game ain't rigged. I just got the cheat code.

[Carrie]

Cars. Snap, snap, snap.

[Pat]

Then somebody said, can't even act broke. Somebody said, can't even act broke. They know gotta be broke.

[Mike]

Unfortunately, that's a bar.

[Pat]

That's the real you real life. Like back in the day, like I depend. Like when I made the smallest. When I was in college, people thought I had a lot of money. And then when I was like out of college and like making a lot of money for somebody that's out of college, people thought I didn't have any money. And it just like used to be able to hide it back then, but now like everything's like so searchable. Like you can literally get on Crash Dummies or chatgpt and be like, oh, oh, how much you Crash Dummies make? They got this, that net and then feed it the information and get an estimate number back. Like it's actually crazy.

[Carrie]

Would it be real? Would it be accurate?

[Pat]

No, it's never accurate. But it's just like they can put them in some ballpark, which is just like people just pocket watching.

[Mike]

It'd be like wide ranges though. It'd be like crash dummies makes $90,000 to a million dollars a year.

[Pat]

Yeah, I damn sure the government better not say no shit like that.

[Mike]

Nah, Exactly. I make 50,000.

[Pat]

50,000. I'm gonna say I make 25, 000.

[Mike]

I'm gonna go lower than you then.

[Pat]

I need. I need government.

[Mike]

I am broke.

[Pat]

I need government help. I need government assistance. Okay. Oh, this is bad. It says my phone addiction got so bad that watching a movie feels productive. And I never related with it. Tweet more like when I watch a whole movie all the way through, through, and I understand it. I didn't rewind it, pause it. I feel so productive. Like, when I walk out of the movies, I get like, a better feeling than being a father.

[Mike]

No.

[Pat]

Oh, my God. But no, no, no.

[Carrie]

That's because you're reversing, like, the adhd.

[Pat]

Talk to me.

[Mike]

There's been. Oh, I was going to send you. I was going to send you a tik tok. It's been people like ADHD community. I don't know how I got on this ADHD tik tok.

[Pat]

That's some adhd.

[Mike]

I don't know how, but it was a lot of people talking about, like, them getting on the different type of ADHD medicines and stuff like that, and then like, their life changing forever. So I just want to see how would you act if

[Pat]

it was medicated?

[Carrie]

Have you been diagnosed?

[Pat]

Who, me?

[Carrie]

Yeah, man.

[Pat]

Hell no. Can't diagnose me. I diagnose him right back. Like, you have ADHD and you're a. What's up?

[Carrie]

That's part of the ADHD.

[Pat]

Whatever, doctor. Don't you tell me.

[Gene]

Oh, man.

[Mike]

Did it say how much we made?

[Carrie]

It kind of did. It was very long. I was like, I'm not reading all of this. It said, how long you want this to be?

[Pat]

Give me a number.

[Carrie]

It said, my estimate. If I had to estimate their business revenue before expenses and taxes conservative, they would make between 350,000 to $500,000.

[Noni]

A.

[Carrie]

500,000 to 800,000.

[Gene]

God damn.

[Mike]

We ball it, huh?

[Carrie]

Some influencer estimate sites put their total annual business revenue in the 700k to 1 million range.

[Mike]

That's a big ass range.

[Carrie]

Yeah, but they said that's not what y' all take home, so.

[Pat]

Oh, yeah. Individually harar believe out those numbers. All right, moving on. Oh, oh, I like this. This is my favorite tweet of the week. Doug, definitely gonna laugh about this because we. Carrie gonna laugh about this one. No, I'm not gonna not not say you related, but you're gonna laugh about it because you a music head. Okay. It says, your man gotta stand to the left when Fight Night by Migos. Come on,

[Mike]

hit him with the Left hit him with the right. I thought he hit both ways.

[Carrie]

Why he gotta stand to the left?

[Pat]

Your man gotta stand to the left. When Fight Night by Amigos comes on. Come on, Gene, send them home. Tell them what it is. He don't know Real stand to the left. Broke stand to the left.

[Mike]

I thought it was a hit, though.

[Pat]

The mama said she looking at me. I'm not the pussy out like Mike hit him with the left, hit him with the right. Come after that. Oh, but broke niggas stand to the left like your man gotta stand, but it just.

[Carrie]

You need to stand to the left. Laugh.

[Pat]

Who you? Why I'm a broke.

[Carrie]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Oh, yeah. True, true. Very true. Come on. 23 000. That's pie, man. I'm just in the grind right now. I'm living in the studio. This turned into a bed.

[Noni]

Oh, yeah.

[Pat]

That's what you guys talking about. The Flock cameras. A Flock camera here in Wisconsin led Brookfield police to conduct a high risk stop on I94 30 Thursday involving a car that already been cleared in a Milwaukee homicide investigation. MPD says staff inadvertently failed to remove the vehicle alert from the system. That's crazy.

[Mike]

Cameras are crazy.

[Carrie]

Wait, what's the flat camera?

[Mike]

Is those cameras that.

[Gene]

That.

[Mike]

That the government kind of like put everywhere right now, and they can track you because they're all like, interconnected within one system.

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah. So it's like got your license plate and it can tell exactly where you went, where are you coming back. And it could just alert them. If they follow, all they gotta do is type in like whatever description they want to type.

[Mike]

Exactly.

[Pat]

And it just follows you all the way around. And it basically builds them out.

[Mike]

And there's been cases too where, like, officers have been abusing those systems, where, like, they're following, they're stalking women that rejected them in the past.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Because they can like, kind of find out where they're going and like their route they're taking. So, like really creepy shit like that.

[Carrie]

But we can't find missing people.

[Pat]

Come on now, talk about it.

[Gene]

About it.

[Pat]

I don't want to talk about it about it. But the thing is, like, bro, that shit, the. The technology is getting crazy. I seen one time where the police were investigating this neighborhood and they believe like 12 people in the neighborhood out of like the 30 houses that were in there were selling drugs and they were all working together. So on the map, every person had their color. And they basically showed a map of every person going into like, each house. So they could be like, oh, dude with the red line, he went to this house, this house, this house, this time, this time, this, this time, and they had it all mapped out. And then you got people like, you got simple murder cases about black children, and they can't even figure it out, bro.

[Mike]

There's never no flock cameras over there, man.

[Pat]

Never know. Literally no fly cameras.

[Carrie]

I just think everyone should just not commit any more crimes. How about that?

[Mike]

That's. I say, what's the utopia you're thinking about? Yeah, that's never gonna happen.

[Pat]

That girl. That girl like class president. And don't be vending machines in every hole.

[Mike]

N. That's crazy.

[Pat]

We a falling for this again.

[Mike]

How do you guys feel about the. The trend of, like, athletes saying making X amount of millions of dollars isn't that much money? Have you been seeing that?

[Carrie]

I saw. I think. Who's that on the books who talked

[Pat]

about that a little bit?

[Mike]

Kuzma?

[Carrie]

Yes. I think it just depends on what their lifestyle is. Honestly.

[Mike]

I think that's what the main conversation should always be.

[Carrie]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Some people saying $20 million isn't really $20 million, because the tax man and this and that. And I think it's a lifestyle thing. And I think especially the people that are not making the most money on these sole teams, I think they try to live the lifestyles that the people that are making the. The real money on the team, and then it's not. It's a lifestyle thing.

[Pat]

I don't. I don't. I think everybody missing a point a little bit. I think everybody keeps, like, relating it to, like, us. I think they're talking to each other. Like, I think when somebody gets on a podcast and they'd be like, yo, 20 million don't mean a lot because of this, that, and this. They not talking to. To like, us that make 25, 000 a year.

[Mike]

But they are talking to us.

[Pat]

They talking to. No, I know they're saying on a podcast, but I'm think they're talking to their peers also, like, sometimes, like when we podcast, we're talking to content creators that can take our advice or take what we're doing and apply it to themselves where every content creator can't because they're not on that level. They're talking to when they say 20 million. So if Kuzma get on there and say 20 million is not this and not that. Odell Beckham. They're talking to how many players just got drafted, how many? How many people?

[Carrie]

That's not the majority. So if they're doing that. That's dumb.

[Pat]

How it one topic, they can talk to a specific group for one topic. If you say something, it doesn't always. If you say something on your pod, sometimes it doesn't always apply to everybody. Sometimes you only talking to women, sometimes

[Carrie]

you only talking to that, though. That's why it's very important to not say every or like all.

[Pat]

Why? Why you don't want to generalize. Why would they ever think somebody that makes $50,000 would chime in to how they saying 20 million is not a

[Carrie]

lot because they're on a podcast with mostly consumers who are making payments pennies.

[Pat]

But so also. But the thing is, when you make some money and like, you're. You're actually popular because, you know, it's some people out here that make millions of dollars and nobody know who they are. But if you make money and you're popular, you have to pay for extra stuff. You got to pay to live in a better place because you're known. You got to pay to have like a better car because you got to go more places to make more money. So, like, they got to spend a little bit more.

[Mike]

But then when they even phrase these things, they were like people always saying, saying that, oh, how'd you lose this million dollars? How'd you lose that? This, this and that? Then they go into their excuses how they lost it. So that's their. For me, they're still talking to the general public because that's who are chastising them about how you make this much money. Because a lot of it is like how this person go broke by getting this type of money obviously is a financial literacy problem and just a lifestyle problem.

[Pat]

But it's easy, though. It's easier to go broke than it is to maintain. Maintain. Like how many. Look at the percentage of the lottery winners. You look at that every time it's a major lottery winner. Like, it is a big percentage of them that lose all their money within seven years. I'm talking about people winning 50, $100 million. Losing it all.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Pat]

A lot of people don't know how to manage money.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Carrie]

But that shouldn't be normal.

[Pat]

It is, though.

[Mike]

But also, I don't think those people would say that's not a lot of money.

[Carrie]

Right.

[Mike]

That's the whole point about saying it's not. Honestly, anybody can blow money. I've been financially irresponsible. I still think I could be more financially responsible today. But still, it's not the point where saying like $20 million or $30 million isn't a lot of money to. To. To an audience of people that the average.

[Pat]

Yeah, but they fit up to the.

[Mike]

Yeah, it's like, bro, it just sounds. It sounds. To me, it sounds a little bit ungrateful in a sense. I get what you're trying to say. Like, they might be talking to their peers, but some of the conversation doesn't sound like, hey, young. All the young players coming up, make sure y' all save y' all money, because this could be you. That type that doesn't seem like this. That type of conversation.

[Pat]

I get what you're saying. They're saying it as, like an excuse. But I also feel like a lot of people, if you gave them $20 million today, they go broke. They go broke in a little bit. And I think people. Okay, that's what people think. You know, I'm saying.

[Carrie]

I was speaking.

[Pat]

You're also. You're also older than. Oh, shit.

[Carrie]

Okay. So I recently saw that Forbes put out their highest paid podcasting list. And since y' all are podcaster. Well, I'm a podcaster too. But how do y' all feel about that list? It was. Started a lot of conversations, mostly because there were no black women on it. And I did a whole episode talking about that. But what y' all think?

[Mike]

I honestly, I don't really pay attention to those lists like that because once I start seeing like 10 million and and up, it's like, it's not really my conversation to really have because I'm not in that range. But I don't know. I thought. I thought the list was. It's always hard to know how accurate those lists are because those are information that people like, offer. I know that Joe budden was like 15 or something.

[Noni]

I think.

[Mike]

Yeah, maybe 10 with like 20 million. And that's just. That was. That number goes based on, like, what he made on his Patreon. We don't know how much is like his prize pick deal is and all these other stuff. So I don't know. It's always hard to kind of gauge that. But there was no black woman on it.

[Carrie]

No. Not one top 20.

[Pat]

I just gotta give it time. Poor minds probably beat herself.

[Carrie]

That's what I said. I said that, too. But it also made me think, well, obviously, you know, black women always have to work harder to get the things that we have, essentially. Even though we do really great stuff and have a lot of great podcasts out there that I feel like should be on the list. But it also made me think, do our. Do you feel like Men. And I'm not trying to. Okay, how do I want to word this?

[Mike]

Trying to radiate the audience.

[Carrie]

Yeah. Because some of the conversation was do women need to. To get their business mind up a little bit more as far as having more merch for their podcast or just trying to diversify the ways that they make money from their podcast. Like how men think about it.

[Mike]

I just think about it. It's just that the podcast space was very male dominated for a really long time. And it's like, it's just now that a lot of more women podcasts are hard to get popular. So I think it's just kind of like the. A game of catch up. Yeah, I think it's just like the NBA to wnb.

[Carrie]

The women were on there. There.

[Mike]

Yeah, like Mel Roberts or something, right?

[Carrie]

Yeah, Mel Robbins. You have from Crime Junkie and a few more.

[Pat]

I think, I think it just like, it's a really tough spark, tough start for like women that have podcasts because they, they get haters. Not to say like we didn't have haters, but like, usually like when men start podcasting, people just be like, I don't give a. I'm not going to comment. Yeah, but sometimes like, you'll see women, they'll have a podcast and it just started like they got a thousand followers followers and they'll post something, it'll get 2, 000 likes and say first viral video they geeked and then you'll see like 200 comments, comments telling them shut the up. All this like, you know, misogynistic. And it just like they get haters right away because there's so many men in the space of podcasting right now that obviously there's more men that listen to podcasts than women, you know, so it's just like that's what's here. And then some, like some of them are misogynistic and then you're coming into their space and then now they're comment on yourself. You don't have enough confidence to go on.

[Mike]

Especially to when. I feel like when women try to be sarcastic or make jokes, it gets taken totally the wrong way all the time.

[Carrie]

I don't know because I, I think about the audience too though, because I'm like, okay, do they need to diversify their audience? Not on them, but do they need to get more people of different backgrounds to listen to them too? You know, like a poor mind. I feel like their demographic is very strong. Wrong. But I don't know.

[Mike]

I can tell. Go.

[Pat]

Go pee.

[Mike]

But no I feel like Poor Minds is definitely going to be there really soon, so hopefully we see more women on the list as well.

[Carrie]

Black women. Yes, yes.

[Pat]

Poor Minds definitely on the way. There's. There's other ones that, that I've seen that are on the rise. There's ones that have like, a lot of following. There's so many podcasts. There's so many, so many content creators.

[Mike]

There's so much money in podcasting as well. That's the thing that, I think that's the most like, inspiring part about seeing those lists like that, because I don't need to like, it would be. It'd be great to make 40 million, 20 million a year. Amazing. That's a great goal. But even as you start to get to the 10 million a year, the 5 million a year, then it's like, it's still great.

[Carrie]

Okay, I know I'm finna. We finna get off it. But like, I don't know, I just feel like that's what kind of bothers me, especially with like a Poor Minds because they've been doing it for so long and I don't. They're just now getting there, just due. But it's like, why has the money not been there for them to have been on that list? And we obviously know why.

[Mike]

But that goes by listenership too, though. Yeah. If you see like the male, the male lady, she does have a really, really big audience. I think a lot of it does go by the. Just pure numbers.

[Pat]

Yeah. And they're paving away. That's what, that's what happens when you're paving away. It's like WNBA players that are retired and they paved the way. Now there's a WNBA player that's making a million dollars a year.

[Carrie]

It can just be frust if you have like a new celebrity who gets this podcast and all of a sudden they making buku amounts of money with no downloads like that, no real following, just because they're known. When you have podcasts, like a Kiki Palmer, baby, this is Kiki Palmer. Or a poor minds podcast who have been doing it for a decade now.

[Mike]

Also, they also built that. I think it's with any podcast now. It's about building that social currency in a sense. And those celebrities kind of built those social media social currency to kind of get those other deals in other. In other fields.

[Pat]

It's also about. It's also about existing audiences. Like, it's so easy for someone to come with a bar stool like, like podcast, because their audience already exists in the podcast.

[Mike]

World.

[Pat]

That's the other, like, barrier that people don't think about. It's like there's people not listening to podcasts. Like, there's people. Everybody doesn't listen to podcasts. Like, there's black women that don't listen to podcasts. Like, my mom doesn't listen to podcasts. Podcast, but she would now, you know, like, she listens to poor minds and they dragged her to podcasting. So I think it's just like doing that and then more people jumping in that space and then multiplying that audience that way too.

[Mike]

I stumbled. I stumbled upon a poly Facebook group. I don't know, I'm always finding these random Facebook groups, but it's like one of those. One they like, suggest it, right? And it was a post. It was a poly couple. It says poly. Polydating. Drop a picnic and let the. And let the comments do the rest. Couples or singles.

[Pat]

Right.

[Mike]

And in the comments, it was just a whole bunch of like, dudes saying. Looking for a poly relationship. Looking for poly relationships. There's a whole bunch of single people saying they want it. And I think that's very lazy and selfish of the guys in the comment because they're not going into the wild and actually looking for the people. They're just trying to find two random ass girls that want to like, be in a relationship. Yeah.

[Pat]

Or they trying to somebody. Wife. You gotta watch you, bro. No, no, I get that. You should have a wife, like, as a guy.

[Mike]

Right. You should come as a. As a. A couple looking for a policy.

[Pat]

No, no. Not to make this sexy. There should only be women out there in that group. To me, that like, oh, I'm looking to add on because just like, as a guy, the whole point usually in how poly works is like, the guy earns all the money and the women take care of the household. So it's just like you a dude out here.

[Mike]

We gotta have our poly expert back on here. There was one. We had one. Have an expert for anything you ever want to know on this pod.

[Carrie]

Really?

[Mike]

Anything. Just name one thing you want to know about it could be super random. I bet you we got a person. We'll have a person next week.

[Carrie]

Dogs.

[Mike]

Dogs. Come on now. We already had Zookeeper.

[Pat]

No, no, not Zookeeper. T. Cool Kids Kennel. Kkk.

[Carrie]

I was about. That was gonna be my next one.

[Pat]

That was his name. That was his name.

[Carrie]

I know, but that was gonna be my next category.

[Pat]

Is it in that category? Yes. We had a ra. A Trump supporter when we had Hossan sign On the podcast, we had a Trump supporter who didn't like black people call in on the podcast because that's the same thing.

[Mike]

Oh, we can find one too. It's somebody the KKK member to listen.

[Pat]

It's a dude watching this podcast and we the only two that he letting slide. I with them boys right there. Oh, no. Anybody else? No. Here's another tweet. It says white girls be like, I'm not racist. I'm just dating a rap racist. And then when they break up with them, they. She starts exposing them. And I just want to say this.

[Mike]

It's just like, I hate that.

[Pat]

That's what I hate the most. Like, some people, like, they'll come to you and just like, did you know the owner of the salon did this, that, and this and this, that, and this, and then it's all that. And just like, wait, didn't you get fired? You know what I'm saying? Just like, so you got fired and you waited till you got fired and now it's a problem. Now you want to stick up for people. It's just like, there's a lot of

[Mike]

people that try to be activists when it feels feel safe.

[Pat]

Yes.

[Mike]

It was like, it's safe now. We can. We can. We can say this person is racist now.

[Pat]

Yes. And that's only to say, like, we talking about racism. We're not talking about all the other, but we talking like, strictly racism and like, people doing wrong stuff where there will be no harm if you stuck up for it. You just don't want everybody paying attention to you, and you don't want that pressure. I don't like that. Don't come tell me some after the fact after you didn't hung with the.

[Carrie]

And that's why I like Mr. Rachel.

[Pat]

Ms. Rachel. Oh, yeah, she. She be standing up for the cause.

[Carrie]

Ms. Rachel.

[Mike]

Yeah, she on the right side of history now.

[Pat]

She on right side of history. I wonder how many overalls she got. No shout out to her, though. I wish she was black. All right. Somebody said my last tweet of the week, somebody said, why are threesomes only for sex? Why can't I join some random couples in arguments? And that's just so real. I feel like I was solved so much.

[Mike]

No, there's a lot of ways. There's a lot of ways I would sauce up.

[Pat]

Lux, go sit down.

[Mike]

Go sit down.

[Pat]

Go sit down. I'm not playing. Go sit down before I take it away.

[Gene]

But.

[Mike]

But I. I think I've actually said this one on the pod before what? That tweet of the week.

[Gene]

You did?

[Mike]

Yeah, Yeah, I think so.

[Pat]

Oh, no, you did.

[Gene]

Wow.

[Mike]

But it's still funny thing to talk about. I don't care. Y' all go hear this at times, too. There is. There are certain people that in their arguments, when you kind of hear your friends argument, especially when they give you the play by play and they say something, and they say something, he's like, bro, you said that. Like, bro, you are not trying to win the argument.

[Pat]

How does that work with.

[Mike]

With.

[Pat]

I was at work when one of my homies was arguing.

[Noni]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And he was, like, arguing on speakerphone. So I was like, matter of fact, he wasn't arguing on speaker phone. I just seen him, like, frazzled.

[Gene]

You know what I'm saying?

[Pat]

I was like. I told him putting on a speakerphone. So I started, like, texting on my phone responses for him. Like a live agent. Yeah.

[Mike]

There's some friends that need that. And there's not even a point of, like, trying to win the argument. It's also, like, try to guide them to make the argument, not to make the argument worse.

[Pat]

No, I be trying to, like, make sure they got a place to sleep tonight. It sound like you trying to fight her a little bit too much. Nigga, you're not coming on my couch, bro. You need to fix that. Like, you ever had a friend that just, like, says some, and it's like, straight out of a movie, and it's like, you watch way too many movies. He just like, it's. This dude's like, man, I just don't like when my girl come home late, bro. Oh, what should I say? I'm like, yo, bro, she come home late. Let her know your boundaries. Let her know how that makes you feel insecure some type of way. And then he come to work the next day like, yo, bro, we broke up. Like, how, bro, what happened? She came home late, and I called her a. And it's like, why would you do that? Like, bro, I couldn't help myself. Yeah, you don't deserve her.

[Mike]

Oh, man.

[Pat]

Why is she coming home late, though? That is crazy.

[Carrie]

Let that woman work.

[Pat]

Whoa, whoa. You just rage baited them. You just rage baited the out of there. Hey, why do y' all keep letting her speak?

[Carrie]

I ain't listen. Last thing I do want to say, though. Drake, if you're listening, I would like an invite to your next Strong Women Stronger drinks event. That was a lot of fun.

[Mike]

It looked like, hey, he was getting out a lot of money.

[Pat]

No, he showed. He Gave away. He giving 25. He bought a girl a house on a show with the no boys. 25,000 in a Birkin. 25,000 all expense page trip. He gave Lena the plug. He gave her all expense paid trip

[Mike]

and she got money and she said.

[Pat]

And he said, you can invite me or invite somebody else. Adam22, you're a cuck. There's no way this is all for show. He either genius or a cup or both. A genius cuck.

[Mike]

Anyway. Anyway, that's been the podcast. This is crash on his life. I said this is past life. Distracted me, man. I would tell the truth, but crashdummieslive.com go get all the. The tour dates. Anybody else got anything? Shout out. Oh, our podcast with Carrie.

[Carrie]

Yes. Oh, my God. Y' all have been running it up. Keep running it up. Learn more about these two right here on Brain Squeeze Podcast, either the audio or on my personal YouTube page. Carrie Noni or Noni Jews? One of the two.

[Mike]

Oh, yeah. Also, thank you to everybody that. That. That said, congrats on having a baby. Appreciate y'. All. We're not doing a baby shower, but I think I'm gonna do. I'm gonna put a our baby registry in the bot in the description, and I think I'm gonna do a live baby shower on Patreon. Just like opening y' all gifts and thanking y' all in person.

[Pat]

That's fire.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Mike]

But only I'm only gonna do the video on Patreon, so you got to sign up to Patreon as well.

[Pat]

So to come to a baby shower and buy me something.

[Mike]

Give me something, too.

[Pat]

I'm.

[Mike]

I'll do it live on Patreon, but then I'll, like, upload it eventually on whatever.

[Carrie]

Y' all do a lot of stuff unconventionally.

[Mike]

Yeah, trying to, man. Trying to do. Trying to do. Trying to save money for a house.

[Carrie]

That's where it's at.

[Mike]

Okay, so no wedding. Nothing yet. Well, no wedding, really. We're so. It's already done. Enough about me, though. Live show, it's all about you.

[Pat]

Why can't it be about you? You never going to have this moment again. Again.

[Mike]

You think so? No, I'll have another moment.

[Pat]

No, like, nobody cares. It's your second kid. Everybody. Okay.

[Mike]

No, they go care about myself already.

[Pat]

Feel the energy. Yeah, your energy going, ain't. It ain't with you no more like that either. When you first day, J.

[Mike]

What up, baby?

[Pat]

Now it's like, all right, you got it down now, Mike.

[Gene]

What up, dog?

[Pat]

Love New D. You gonna do it?

[Mike]

So it's gonna be a cycle.

[Pat]

Oh, God.

[Mike]

All right, y'.

[Pat]

All.

[Mike]

Peace.