Studs On Payroll w/ Bhen - Episode 248

Summary

Crash Dummies Podcast — "Studs On Payroll w/ B Hen" (Ep. 248)

Date: March 4, 2026
Hosts: Pat (Patrick Johnson) & Mike (Michael Esiobu)
Special Guest: B Hen
Main Theme: Hilarious, unfiltered stories and advice with B Hen — diving into current events, cultural observations, NBA/sports talk, callers’ dilemma calls, and being real about life, relationships, and viral podcasting.

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Episode Overview

This episode features Pat and Mike on their podcast tour stopping at Club 520 in Indiana, joined by B Hen. The trio bounces between personal stories, social and cultural commentary, NBA insights, and listener call-ins, all with trademark wit and no holds barred. There’s a strong focus on authenticity, the power of being unapologetically yourself on mic, old-vs-new debates in both music and basketball, and giving surprisingly sincere advice to listeners’ real-life dilemmas—all while keeping things playful.

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Key Discussion Points and Segments

1. Touring, Studio Shoutouts & Meet & Greets (00:00–02:10)

• Shoutout to Club 520/520 Studio: B Hen hosts the Crash Dummies crew in an ultra-nice studio—“Big ass studio. Damn, we jealous.” (Mike, 00:11)
• Tour stops announced (Seattle, Portland, ATL, etc.) with ticket reminders.

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2. The Stud Listener, Gender Role Humor, and “Studs on Payroll” (01:28–04:26)

• Meet and greet story: Mike & Pat discuss an encounter with a “stud” (masculine-presenting woman), and the tension of greeting protocols (“I was going in for a hug, and then she went in with a handshake.” — Pat, 01:38).
• Stud Stereotypes:
  • B Hen describes his “real stud” friends: “The purest of pure stud friends... these is full blown. Like... They think they us.” (Behan, 02:46)
  • Criteria: moving furniture, mowing lawns, fixing cars, even being a mechanic.
  • Notable Quote: “If you got a real stud friend and you think she faking about being a stud, ask her to help you move...” (Mike & B Hen, 03:24–03:32)
• Humor around masculinity/roles: The banter is lighthearted but pokes fun at performative “toughness.”

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3. Indy Food Scene and Club Antics (05:08–10:10)

• Food adventures: The hosts share their disappointment with local food picks, including “kangaroo tacos,” and getting the inside scoop from B Hen on where to really eat in Indianapolis.
  • “Pat got kangaroo tacos.” (Pat, 06:17)
  • B Hen's advice: If you’re not an “exotic eater,” stick to basics—and always hit up a local for suggestions.
• Avoided Trouble: Pat describes narrowly missing a brawl at a club they almost attended, reinforcing the importance of local connections.

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4. NBA Stories, Draymond Green, and the Realities of Pro Athletes (12:51–15:56)

• NBA Insiderism:
  • B Hen reflects on knowing athletes before fame and how “normal” they are behind the scenes, with wild overnight party-to-40pt-game stories.
  • Notable Quote: “All niggas did was hoop, work hard, go home... You get to see all the different variations of what an athlete is.” (B Hen, 30:16)
• Draymond Green’s Reputation:
  • Discussion of his on-court antics, how reputation changes everything (comparisons to Chris Paul), and the impossibility of another Draymond career path.
  • “Draymond will never be drafted again.” (B Hen, 15:56)
• Coaching & Team Dynamics:
  • How NBA player personalities/talent mix, and whether Draymond could develop new talent: “He has been spoiled with, you know, Clay and Steph... he has to turn into that player-coach tho.” (B Hen, 15:13–15:26)
• Old-vs-New NBA:
  • Can past legends (Oscar Robertson, Master P, etc.) hang today? Debates ensue about talent inflation and how the game has evolved.

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5. On Realness, Podcasting, and Clip Culture (32:03–38:17)

• Keeping It Real:
  • B Hen’s philosophy on candor: “I tell people all the time, bro. I’ve been joaning on people since I was 4, so I don’t care... Nobody gets a pass.” (B Hen, 33:25)
  • Being “uncancellable” by never pretending to be a saint on air: “I probably can, bro, but... I don’t try to dig deep in nobody.” (B Hen, 33:23)
• The Dangers of Viral Out-of-Context Clips:
  • Tales of fake accounts, viral clips causing career headaches, and even a wild moment when B Hen nearly thought a viral video was actually of him(!).
  • “It took me like about a day... to realize that wasn’t me, bro.” (Behan, 39:51)

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6. Roommates, Friendship, & “Staying Down” (19:24–25:44)

• How old is “too old” for a roommate?:
  • Consensus: Post-college, roommate life is fine if you’re chasing big goals (Hollywood, etc.), but if lifestyles diverge (one settling down, one chasing dreams), it’s tough.
  • “If everybody not on the same accord... I would say when we done with college, maybe 21, 22.” (B Hen, 19:42)
• Friendship Realness:
  • If you make it, always look out for those who helped you when you had nothing—don’t forget favors and sacrifices.

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7. Hilarious Listener Call-ins & Real Advice (52:00 onward)

Embarrassing Stories

• Trinidad caller: Runs out on a woman due to “blonde-dyed, hairy” situation. (52:00–54:31)
• Belgium caller: Shares a cringe hospital story after having the “string” (frenulum) torn during sex. “Bro, my dick’s like, screwing out blood...” (69:05–70:15)

Dilemmas & Relationship Drama

• Young, broke, and hustling:
  • One caller has $29 to last two weeks—revealing the grind, side jobs, and how girlfriends may or may not help out.
  • “I’m trying to motivate you by being mean to you...” (Mike, 59:48)
• About to be dumped:
  • Caller (28) faces a breakup with his 24-year-old girlfriend, who wants to “be outside” and is probably already moving on. The hosts offer bracing real talk against controlling behaviors.
  • “If she has told you that she want to... and you trying to keep her there, you a fool.” (Behan, 64:39; see also 67:08–67:15)
• Complicated Love & Co-worker Affairs:
  • A woman in love with a coworker (while going through divorce herself) is told, “Just play it out... If it’s supposed to be, it’ll come together.” (Behan, 80:25)
• Baby mama drama & honesty:
  • A woman is adjusting to her boyfriend cheating, leading to a pregnancy with another woman. Hosts offer empathy and strong encouragement for her independence.

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8. Music, Culture, and Generational Debates (41:42–49:32)

• Old vs. New School Debates:
  • Is Oscar Robertson still relevant? Could a 60s star compete today? Who’s really the best in rap, past or present?
• Taste in music:
  • Eclectic picks: “Travis, Pac, St. John” for Pat, “Baby Keem, JID, Kendrick” for Mike, Afrobeat shoutouts (Davido, St. John), and jokes about only listening to Louis Farrakhan speeches at the barbershop (48:14).

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On meeting “real studs”:
  Behan: "I don't have no tweeners, okay. These is full blown. Like... They think they us... I'm calling one of them up. I'm gonna call Jazz. Somebody like, yeah. Come pick up this couch." (02:46–03:13)

• On viral podcasting stress:
  Behan: "It took me like about a day, bro, to really kind of like, like realize that that wasn't me, bro." (39:51)

• On NBA players being “just people”:
  Behan: "I used to look at NBA players and put them on a pedestal. Like, they just didn’t do shit… then you see, like, all the different variations of what an athlete is.” (30:16)

• On roommate age limits:
  B Hen: "If everybody not on the same accord in the friend group, I would say when we done with college, maybe 21, 22." (19:42)

• On clip culture and cancelability:
  Behan: "I’ve been joaning on people since I was 4, so I don’t care… Nobody passed because I don’t try to go… I don’t talk about nothing personal with nobody." (33:25–33:51)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [00:00–02:10] Studio intro, tour dates, shoutouts
• [01:28–04:26] Stud meet-and-greet, gender role jokes
• [05:08–10:10] Food, local advice, clubs, brawls
• [12:51–15:56] NBA behind the scenes, Draymond Green stories
• [32:03–38:17] Keeping it real on mic, dangers of out-of-context viral clips
• [19:24–25:44] Roommates, friendship, loyalty
• [52:00–55:15] Trinidad caller: the hairy dilemma
• [69:05–70:15] Belgium caller: embarrassing hospital story
• [62:03–67:57] Relationship call-ins: controlling partners, breakups, Atlanta drama
• [74:20–77:35] Co-worker love, post-divorce, “the ball is in your court”
• [41:42–49:32] Old vs. new NBA/music debates, taste check

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Tone & Style

• Unfiltered comedy: Open, often crude humor but with a sense of comradery
• Candid advice: No sugarcoating for callers — tough love, street-smart, and caring beneath the jokes
• Community-centric: Emphasis on helping listeners, being loyal, and appreciating the audience
• Authenticity: Consistent message about being true to yourself, both in life and content creation

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Takeaways

• The Crash Dummies Pod thrives on conversational honesty and humor, attracting a loyal following by keeping it real.
• B Hen fits right in, sharing Philly’s “stud-on-payroll” wisdom, debate chops on basketball, as well as tales of podcast stardom’s pitfalls.
• Listeners call in for advice and laughs—and actually get both.
• Whether breaking down the woes of viral clip culture, explaining the fine line between love and control, or debating if Oscar Robertson is today’s Giannis, the pod proves real human connections (and unrehearsed jokes) will always be king.

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For full laughs and context, listen to the complete episode (skip the ads, intros, outros for the best bits).

Transcript

[Pat]

Yo. Welcome to Crash Dummies podcast episode 248. This is the Behen episode we went to. We're on tour, so we were in Indiana, in St. Louis, and shout out

[Mike]

to Behan for opening up the 520 Club, 520 podcast studio for us. Big ass studio. Damn, we jealous.

[Pat]

Very, very nice studio. But also we are live. Going live. We're still live. We're going to be in Nash Said, Nashville. We're going to be in Seattle on March 24th. We're going to be in Portland March 25th. Atlanta, Nashville, Birmingham, Baltimore, Philly, Boston, New York, and Charlotte. Birmingham, step up. You guys gotta, like, step it up a little bit with the tickets. Everybody else looking pretty good, but don't wait to get your tickets.

[Mike]

Yeah, don't especially, I would say, like, Seattle and Portland, do not wait to get your tickets. We just got the ticket count and some of those spots are more than halfway filled already. And, you know, a lot of people like to get their tickets late. Just like you thinking about getting your tickets late. I don't want to hear no dms like, bro, I was going to come

[Behan]

to the show, but I didn't know

[Mike]

you was going to be click. I want to hear that.

[Pat]

Also, CrashDummies merch.com. we got our merch live. We got the cream flavor. I said flavor. The cream. The cream color.

[Mike]

Yeah. So thanks, everybody that ordered a nut T shirt. If you want the black one to be safe and not get on, you know, get.

[Behan]

Get this one.

[Pat]

Oh, man. All right, here's the episode, bro.

[Mike]

Last night at a meet and greet, we had one of our stud listeners pop up to the meet and greet.

[Behan]

What?

[Mike]

I ain't gonna lie. She had that YSL on.

[Pat]

We both did the same thing, though, because obviously, like, meet and greets is like, you know, one person after the other. And, you know, I was going in for hugs with a lot of the women there, and then I was going in for a hug, and then she went in with a. A handshake.

[Caller 1]

Yeah, yeah.

[Pat]

I was like, oh, okay.

[Mike]

Every time you try to give a stud a hug, they hit you with that elbow. Like, nah, nigga, check my fit first.

[Behan]

A thousand. A thousand percent. A thousand percent.

[Mike]

I looked down, she had the pants that go over the shoes, too. I said, okay.

[Behan]

They try to be, like, more tough and all that shit. I'm like, just be a. It's cool. Like, like tap in with when. A moment like that, when somebody's trying to give you a hug. And I got stud friends I be like, we cool. Like, we go to the club, you know, get pat down. Like us. I get it. But when somebody's giving you a hug, be a lady. Like, just. Just give a natural hug. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

[Mike]

So when you go to the club with your stud friends, they opt in to get patted down like a dude.

[Behan]

Yeah. Like, I got the purest of pure stud friends.

[Mike]

Okay. You got, like.

[Behan]

I don't have no tweeners, okay. These is full blown. Like.

[Pat]

Like, what makes somebody a full blown.

[Behan]

They think they us. So, like, when I move or something, or if I got something to move around, I'm calling one of them up. I'm gonna call Jazz. Somebody like, yeah. Come pick up this couch.

[Mike]

Oh, they can help move too.

[Behan]

Oh, yeah.

[Mike]

Okay. They real studs.

[Behan]

I actually got a stud that work on cars. She a mechanic.

[Pat]

Oh, my God. Yeah, they all.

[Behan]

They locked in. It's some piece of shit stud too. You know what I mean? They play the part online, but they still wanna be tore behind the camera. That's a.

[Mike]

That's a.

[Behan]

That's.

[Mike]

I like that. That's a good marker for a real stud. If you got a real stud friend and you think she faking about being a stud, ask her to help you

[Behan]

move and ask her to help grab the couches. They gotta do everything. I got stud friends that cut grass out there online. So they really tapped in.

[Mike]

Okay. They tapped in.

[Behan]

I'm trying to find one that do construction.

[Caller 1]

Yeah.

[Behan]

Then I'm gonna have a full arsenal then. Yeah, I'm have a full arsenal day. For sure.

[Mike]

Because, you know, they still got. The women are very loyal too.

[Behan]

For sure.

[Mike]

They very loyal. So if you get a stud, that's. Come on now, bro.

[Behan]

For real.

[Mike]

That's the best, homie you can have.

[Behan]

Nah, for sure, for sure. I just. I don't like how tough. That's my only beef with them. Like, we know what you are. Like, you go out of town with that shit, but when you home, like, if we arguing, I'm not saying women should stand down, but I'm like, you know when you're doing too much.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Behan]

Now you talking about you will be my ass. Yeah, for sure.

[Mike]

We did.

[Behan]

We.

[Mike]

We actually wanted to reach out to. It's like a Texas elite football. What was that? Football conference.

[Pat]

A football team. Like football.

[Mike]

Women's football team.

[Pat]

But it seemed like they had a lot of studs on the team.

[Behan]

Oh, I think I seen that they were doing a little.

[Pat]

They were like catching the ball with one hand and say something to the

[Behan]

Camera and I think they was all doing, like, entrances one day. Yeah, they were showing. Damn. Are they, like, blue and orange?

[Pat]

There was blue and orange. One of them was a black team, too.

[Behan]

Okay, yeah, I'm familiar, I'm familiar, I'm familiar.

[Pat]

We're trying to commentate that.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah. See if they rock with us.

[Behan]

Let's make it happen. I want to do that with y'. All.

[Mike]

Okay, yeah, that's a bet.

[Behan]

Yeah, we can come together and do that. I'll pull up. Okay, yeah, we can do that together.

[Pat]

Pretty fire. Anyway, welcome to Crash Dummies podcast. We got B hen in the building with us. Oh, in his building.

[Behan]

Nah, I appreciate y' all boys coming through, man. I wish I would have been able to get a hold of y' all Tuesday, but you know what I'm saying? Y' all came out here, hopefully my city at least showed y' all love.

[Mike]

Show love. Yeah, yeah, but you got to let us know about the food because.

[Behan]

Yeah, that's why I, like, I know people hate people. I mean, I know people hate, like, kind of contacting people they really don't know, bro. Hit me when y' all in town.

[Mike]

Okay, Bet, bet, bet.

[Behan]

Like, I, I. Y' all don't gotta check in. I'm not one of them, but I just wanted. If I followed Noon, I would make sure y' all was taken care of. Okay, so the next time y' all make a stop through Indianapolis, you, the gang, everybody, I'm gonna make sure y' all straight.

[Mike]

Okay, I appreciate that.

[Pat]

Cause I won't lie. We. We went to three places, and all

[Mike]

of them were asked.

[Behan]

No, no, no. See, this is where we going on crash dungeons. We're going to be honest. Where'd you go?

[Mike]

We went to. Oh, damn. What's that place?

[Behan]

Yeah, out of pocket.

[Mike]

I know.

[Behan]

I knew.

[Mike]

We knew it was out of pocket when we walked in there, but we just want to get them, like a more of a spotlight. Like, that shit is ass.

[Behan]

No, no, no. Tell the truth.

[Pat]

Pat got kangaroo tacos.

[Mike]

I was trolling at that.

[Pat]

No, no, no. A kangaroo taco.

[Mike]

I was trolling.

[Pat]

He got a alligator taco.

[Mike]

Hit. That's the only one that hit.

[Behan]

What did you get on it?

[Mike]

The kangaroo taco came with, like, two little pieces of kangaroo meat.

[Behan]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Cuz I could hear the screaming in the back.

[Pat]

What do you think he said?

[Mike]

You promised nobody would ever order that. Like, n. Somebody did it.

[Behan]

That's crazy.

[Mike]

And then they put, like, two donuts. It was donuts, but it was filled with Ma, cheese on the taco.

[Behan]

Listen, you out. First of all, you out of pocket for going to and not asking. We with here. But you up by going and not asking, because that's such an exotic place.

[Pat]

Okay, got it.

[Behan]

If you not really like that with food, like, trying, like, me and you just, you know, you might like a steak taco supreme or some. So you went from that to a kangaroo taco. Yeah, I can't let you put that smut on agave.

[Mike]

But I had to challenge him, though. I'm like, yeah, is it really kangaroo? But, like, once I heard all that wrestling in the back.

[Behan]

Nah, that. That is in there. But you. If you not an exotic eater, you got to go to those places and get. You know what? You know what?

[Pat]

You know, I try to do that.

[Mike]

What you.

[Pat]

What you.

[Behan]

What you. What you order?

[Pat]

I think I ordered the shrimp and steak one. Okay.

[Behan]

That's simple. If you didn't like it, bro, that's. That's fair. These restaurants. Where else we.

[Pat]

Where else we go, though?

[Behan]

Damn.

[Mike]

What else we eat? Oh, those tacos, crazy.

[Pat]

Oh, it was Uber eats.

[Mike]

Oh, we almost went. We almost went to jail, too.

[Pat]

4.

[Mike]

So we was pulling into the hotel. We stayed at the Alexander. Pulling into the hotel, and the cop had that street blocked off. I guess that's what y' all do during the games.

[Behan]

Yeah.

[Mike]

So we asked the cop, hey, can we sneak by you? We live right here. He went out his way, moved his truck, and you know when you had those, like, thoughts of, like, you know, in the back of your head, like, I should say this is some dark humor shit.

[Behan]

Yeah.

[Mike]

He thought it was a perfect time to do that. So he rolled up his window, the front window, because he was driving and said, oink, oink, pig.

[Behan]

No, that wasn't me.

[Mike]

That was Mike.

[Behan]

But he forgot.

[Mike]

But he forgot that he wrote down the back window, too, so the shit was wide open.

[Behan]

Look at, like, Yeah, y' all might have to check in with me when I. No, no, no.

[Pat]

It's a meme on the Internet.

[Mike]

No, I know.

[Pat]

I'm saying it jokingly, though, like, under

[Behan]

my breath, but will you, like, at least get through first? But I didn't know the window was down.

[Pat]

That was my fault. That was my fault. I accidentally rolled down the back window thinking I rolled down my window, man. It was late, bro.

[Behan]

Just make sure y' all come. I'm gonna make myself available.

[Mike]

Okay. Appreciate you.

[Pat]

They also told us to go to a club. I forgot what it was called.

[Mike]

Yeah, I forgot the club.

[Pat]

Somebody sent us A video the next day saying, thank y'. All. Thank God y' all didn't go because

[Mike]

it was a brawl.

[Pat]

It was a whole brawl.

[Mike]

There's, like, 20 girls fighting. And the club promoter was at our show. He, like, come through my club. We, like, all right. But we spent the. We was never going to his club, but, like, we looked up his club, and they was fighting, like, 20 girls. Big ass brawl.

[Behan]

I feel like I know what you're talking about. Yeah. But this is where y' all gonna go when y' all come back. And this is. Don't matter the day.

[Mike]

Okay. Make sure we write this down.

[Behan]

We gonna go to. We gonna go to Trap Got. So. Okay, that's on Benford. Great food. I'm gonna take y' all to culture. Okay. Those is my uncle now. That's their spot. And then Shadow Lounge. Shadow Lounge to. With my dookie and them. So I'm gonna make sure y' all straight, bro. Then I don't know if y' all eat steak and all that, but I'll take y' all to 1933 too.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Behan]

Oh, yeah, we'll do some.

[Mike]

No more rude tacos.

[Pat]

Crazy.

[Mike]

They might have overcooked my rude, though. At the end of the day, I would.

[Behan]

And y'.

[Mike]

All.

[Behan]

Y' all did good by your hotel, though. The customer service there is top tier. There was some beautiful people that worked there.

[Mike]

Yeah, I saw Zubak coming out. I forgot that he actually played for the Pacers.

[Behan]

They still in transition to moving him.

[Mike]

Yeah, he a real one because he knew I couldn't, like, because, you know, you seeing. First of all, you see, like, a player that's seven foot. So you're like, I know you. And he knew. He real. He stayed looking at me till I got his name right. He like, nah, N. You know who I am.

[Pat]

Press you.

[Mike]

Come on now.

[Behan]

Where are y' all from here?

[Mike]

I'm from Pontiac, Michigan.

[Behan]

Okay.

[Pat]

Okay. They're gonna make fun of me about this because they said I always say that I'm Nigerian every episode. But I'm from Nigeria, but I grew up in Chicago.

[Behan]

Okay. What part of Nigeria?

[Pat]

Lagos.

[Behan]

That's where I want to go, bro. Let's go overseas. I swear to God.

[Pat]

December.

[Behan]

Some people that I used to work with, they move back. Like, they good over there. You feel me? And that's how I met. He's a big artist from there.

[Pat]

David.

[Behan]

Oh. Yep, yep, yep.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Behan]

When they came back to the US I linked up with my guys and I met him. But they like, man, you gotta Come over there. It ain't like the feed that you go with, too. Yeah, so.

[Mike]

So, yo, so your boy is good over there?

[Behan]

Oh, great.

[Mike]

They need to like. Oh, my family, like, come on now. They looking for him and he want me to go over there with him.

[Behan]

No, no, no, no. Don't go, Dolo.

[Mike]

He got beat. Cause he was supposed to. He was supposed to. He was supposed to. So his dad was. Which your granddad was a king.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

And he. He's a prince over there,

[Pat]

but his

[Mike]

cousins took it over. Like, no, you ain't no prince. You left and. And now he trying to go back and.

[Behan]

But you didn't leave on your own. You left because your parents, right?

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah, but that went back. But they went back to Nigeria for boarding school.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Behan]

Oh, yeah.

[Pat]

Me and my brothers got sent back. We went.

[Behan]

So you left for real?

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah.

[Behan]

You left the soil.

[Mike]

That's what I'm saying.

[Behan]

My dudes and them, they got like, guards and over there, like, right. Don't let.

[Mike]

Oh, o.

[Behan]

Good. I ain't with you. I got three kids and.

[Mike]

Yeah, I'm going be here, dog.

[Behan]

Nah, man. I heard it's such a beautiful.

[Pat]

If you want to party, for sure. Like, leg. It's like the city doesn't sleep. Like, some people go there for, like, try to do touristy things. I wouldn't say it's more of a touristy thing. Us, like, you have to, like, go there and want to have fun.

[Behan]

No, for sure.

[Pat]

So that's one of those things. Oh, I. I saw a tweet for you. Oh, yeah?

[Mike]

Oh, yeah.

[Behan]

Oh, yeah. And I know a little bit about Pontiac, Michigan too.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Behan]

I got some dope ass battle rappers and that's like, right next to Detroit A. Yeah, yeah.

[Mike]

Shout out to Ill Will. Shout out to J.C. come on now.

[Behan]

Okay, I'm tapped in.

[Pat]

I saw a tweet that said Draymond really needs a specific ref that only looks at him all game.

[Behan]

Hey, that's funny. You see that last thing he did? Tripping, bro. You talking about when he jumped on n. He. My boy got to retire this time.

[Pat]

You think so?

[Behan]

It's time.

[Mike]

I ain't gonna lie. Like, I. Like I. I played Draymond in high school. Well, our high school played. I was on jv. Yeah, our high school played.

[Pat]

I was.

[Mike]

I was in ninth grade. No, don't know. Draymond was cold as in high school. Like, he was £300, too. Yeah, man, he was backing down, dunking. He would run point guard and would never Dribble up the court, facing front. He had backed the. All the way down to the basket.

[Behan]

Wow.

[Mike]

To the point. But the thing about Draymond is I know why he frustrated. They are not guarding this, so. And then he got to go set screens and, like, running through his screen, so turning him up.

[Behan]

Been like that for years now.

[Mike]

Album. That's crazy.

[Behan]

It's nothing new. I'm not excusing my boy behavior anytime on a free throw. When you in them hash marks, it never cost for you to jump on somebody.

[Pat]

It might be a tick, though.

[Behan]

Yeah. But I'm saying, like, I feel like he went out his way to do that, bro. He in the NBA, bro.

[Mike]

Chris Paul did that before, though. The same move.

[Behan]

But see, look, even Chris Paul, they. They get him for his little dirty, too. But how. How they look, how they view Draymond. I always even tell my son, like, if you become the bad kid in school, no matter what the other kids do, when you do something, it's gonna be amplified, bro.

[Pat]

Yeah. Andre, my six' eight.

[Behan]

Yeah. But I'm saying whatever Draymond do now is super amplified, bro.

[Mike]

Yeah. I just think. I just think what has happened to him over the years is making him a little senile in between the whistle. I'm not talking about the man he is outside of whistle. I'm just saying, imagine you pushing the ball down the court six, seven years in a row. You throw it to this swish. You throw it to this swish. Now you zoom ahead eight years, and I'm swinging the ball to pies.

[Behan]

But Draymond, he has been spoiled with, you know, clay and stuff. Yeah, a little stint that. What's the name was there, my man. Kd.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Behan]

Jordan Poole had a sniper. Like, I get it.

[Mike]

Then he sniped him for sure.

[Behan]

But I'm saying, like, Draymond has to turn into that, like, player coach, though. Help develop the young guys mentally, teach them the game. You can't really teach them how to shoot because that's never been your forte or anything, but you can kind of make the game easier for those players around you.

[Mike]

I don't think he. I don't really think he can, obviously. I think Draymond would be a great coach as far as, like, X's and O's, but I don't. I think it's hard for him to give somebody advice on what he do because there's nobody that's ever gonna be in position.

[Caller 1]

No.

[Behan]

A. Draymond will never be drafted again. I'm saying if you've been working with someone. Like if I've been working with y' all and I like know what y' all can do well and I'm a reason why y' all are doing so well. I feel like he got shooters around him, bro. They're just not that elite.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Behan]

Like he had. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like you can give people the game,

[Mike]

but I feel like he also had disciplined shooters also. He did like he knows Steph is running off this screen the same way. Cause I feel like, like sometimes with players that don't have iq, they got to understand like even if I'm getting locked up, I got to go full throttle with this because a person with the ball think I'm going here and KD discipline. Clay was disciplined. Curry was disciplined. And now he got looked to his left and throw the ball to pause.

[Behan]

Okay, so I asked both of y'. All.

[Mike]

No, I'm just saying. I'm just saying. But like look at the difference. Pause. Obviously NBA player made it on his own dope. Yo. Let's take a quick break from today's podcast to thank the sponsor, HelloFresh. I love cooking at home, but with a busy schedule, it can get tough. Especially when you add in planning, deciding what you want to eat, grocery shopping, all that can feel overwhelming. But hello Fresh makes it easier.

[Pat]

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[Mike]

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[Pat]

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[Mike]

Yo, let's take a quick break and thank God for being a sponsor of today's podcast. Come on fellas, let's be real. Buying men's jewelry is obviously a nightmare. Sometimes it's the low quality junk that snaps after a week or it's insanely overpriced with these ridiculous markups that's why

[Pat]

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[Mike]

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[Pat]

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[Mike]

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[Pat]

@gld.com that's 50% off with code CRASH. @gld.com after you purchase purchase they'll ask you where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them that we sent you.

[Mike]

He's from Wisconsin too. Shout out to him.

[Pat]

I got a question. We asked this before too. At what age do you think is too old to have a roommate?

[Behan]

I don't know bro. It depends.

[Pat]

First of all, everybody's situation is different

[Behan]

and that's what I'm saying. So like if me and the guys, like I, I don't ever want to live with my guys but if we all going out to like be actors in Hollywood and shit, I feel like your mindset is different. But if I'm like somebody trying to start a family and my guy is trying to be the next rapper in the city or whatever, we ain't gonna mesh. So I think for in that if everybody not on the same accord in the friend group, I would say when we done with college, maybe 21, 22.

[Mike]

That's, that's where I'm at with it. Like yeah after college because like being that, oh, go find you a girl nigga, like, but don't make a relationship for a year. So you get on your feet, do

[Behan]

that for sure you can, you can fuck your way into a girl's house for sure. But I'm saying if I'm pursuing, like, something in the entertainment field.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Behan]

I mean, y' all know how hard that shit is.

[Pat]

Like in New York.

[Behan]

And everybody's story is crazy, bro. So you damn nearby had to sacrifice that part of your life to get what. You know what I mean? Trying to get to eventually. Cause I feel like if I was like a. Just say if I was an aspiring movie star or something and I made it, I would probably make sure whoever let me stay with them and not saying this is all happens all the time, I would take care of them for the rest of their life.

[Mike]

See, I'm so glad I ain't got nobody that helped me when I was down. I ain't got to pay nobody fucking back.

[Behan]

I just think that'll just be like. Like if y' all just crashed. If bro had a. Had a spot. He don't give a fuck about you becoming a movie star. But this is your man's like, beyond that shit. He want to see you do well, but he can give a fuck less. He go to work every day, do his shit. You know, he might even hate his job. But even if you love it, you know, he making sure you straight. You ain't got to pay no bills. You eating up all this nigga food. He let you bringing the hoes through when you get that first movie role. Whatever, bro. I feel like. And he gonna, you know, I mean, still probably let be the same. But when you own own bro take care of your man.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Behan]

Go back and get your man.

[Mike]

No, it'd be the worst if you. If you living with your guy, but he live with his girl.

[Behan]

Oh, that's the worst.

[Mike]

You can hear the girl talking to him.

[Behan]

Hey, bro, like, that's what up friendship.

[Mike]

When you wash your clothes, you just gotta move it over a little bit. You looking at that like he tell

[Behan]

you, man, clean out the dryer. She bitching, cuz you keep leaving all the lint in the dryer. Or the dishes, I think would be the dishes.

[Pat]

The dishes is like, if you got

[Behan]

a nasty friend and you live with your girl, she on your ass about how trifling that is on your ass.

[Mike]

Then she coming to you like, no, you going to come to your boy. Like, I ain't going to lie, bro. My girl getting fed up. You got to. You got to choose. It's Melinda or Melissa.

[Caller 2]

She.

[Mike]

She can't have too much.

[Behan]

All right, let's put you in that position. Okay, say, my man's day, they trying to be the next goddamn movie star.

[Mike]

Okay?

[Behan]

Just use that. But you the one they need. You live with your girl. This nigga trifling than a motherfucker. He don't wash his clothes, he leaving shit around. He coming in at 4 in the morning with three different women. But your girl getting on your ass. What do you do on some real shit? Is it your man? This been your man since y' all was babies. This girl knew you just let her move in.

[Mike]

I actually had this situation before.

[Behan]

Oh, well, see, speaking.

[Mike]

I had just had a newborn, and my guy, that's always like. He'd come to stay in my house for a week.

[Behan]

Yeah.

[Mike]

I'm like, oh, I just had a newborn. And then I'm like. He like, can I stay at your crib? I'm like, yeah, that's cool, bro. But, you know, I got a newborn, you know, like, blah, blah, blah. And he's like, all right, bet I'm gonna be there at 3am I said, all right. No, you know,

[Behan]

see, the baby make it different.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

It's like I spent the night at your place when you're in your past relationship for like, two weeks, the only time you ever live together.

[Mike]

Oh, my God.

[Behan]

See, I got real man.

[Mike]

Like this. He had a mattress in my living room, right?

[Pat]

I was waiting between my lease. My lease is about to start in the new city in Milwaukee, where I

[Behan]

was

[Mike]

mat in my living room. And then a wake up at 5am every day. So I'm in the bed, I smell pancakes. I'm like, what the.

[Behan]

This

[Mike]

go the opposite way too. Because it's just like if, you know, somebody got different morals than you and they up the house and they dirty you. Like, I don't want that around me. But when somebody got a better routine than you and they living in your, like, waking up at 5am I turned

[Behan]

off your alarm one time.

[Mike]

No, this came in my room and turned off my alarm and chisel like, yo, bro, your alarm.

[Behan]

Yeah, this, bro. This was going off for, like, legit, like, 30 minutes.

[Pat]

No, hey, that was going on for 30 minutes.

[Behan]

Let me tell you.

[Mike]

Let me tell you the weirdest. He did.

[Pat]

Let me tell you.

[Mike]

Tell me if this weird. There's a type of weird he'll do. Okay, this know, like, I'm a person. Like, if somebody tell me to do something, especially, like, back then, I'm. I'm way better about it now. But somebody told me to do something, I'mma delay it a little. Bit because I don't want you to think, hey, hey, take out. Take out these boxes and like that, right? So it was a one time the girls that. That was living with me said, hey, can you take out these cardboard boxes? I said, I got it. And I like to wait a couple hours. And I look up this Mike. He wait till she got home. And then grabbed the boxes.

[Behan]

Oh, Mike. Weird.

[Pat]

I took the boxes out immediately.

[Behan]

Mike, out of your pocket.

[Pat]

It's the feeling when you're staying at somebody's place and they're doing you a favor. Because I was trying to get my lease. My lease didn't start to, like, two weeks later. So I was like, you know, I started to try to do extra around the house. I'm trying to clean up when she home.

[Behan]

Crazy to me.

[Pat]

That's just me, though.

[Behan]

No, he.

[Mike]

He. He just got. I'm telling you, he just got down his bro code within the last, like, like six, seven years in college. This was wild.

[Behan]

This is what I like to hear. Jokes too far.

[Mike]

It was a girl that I just started talking to, and he chilling with a girl he just started talking to. We all in the living room. He go, pat, what's that ex you had? What's her name?

[Behan]

I said,

[Pat]

what happened? Wait, wait, I got it.

[Mike]

Okay, go ahead.

[Pat]

I wasn't with anybody. He was chilling with his. His girlfriend at the time, Right? This is what we call her, Sarah. Right? I said, and no, we're not gonna call her Sarah. You just chill with your girl at the time. Yeah, I went in there. So his ex name is Marissa, right? Name is Marissa.

[Behan]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And I. And he was in there with his current girlfriend, and I was just joking around. I was like, man, I miss Marissa.

[Behan]

But it was a joke.

[Pat]

She laughed, though. It was a joke.

[Mike]

But, you know, it's like she didn't do anything. It's like new. So, like, I never told her about my exact.

[Behan]

But you know, you. You was. She might have laughed at the moment because she didn't want to fuck up the vibe at the time, but most girls hold that to a motherfucking head. And yeah, when shit gets.

[Pat]

I knew he wasn't gonna end up with her either, though.

[Behan]

No, but I'm saying once she gets more relaxed, Marissa's gonna come up at a random time. Yeah, yeah. And it's gonna throw him so off the loose. Marissa.

[Mike]

So Marissa, no, you gotta watch telling. You gotta watch this. Like, you'll be on a double date and you'll just see the. Start jogging in the opposite place. You'd be like, damn, where Mike going? This giving $20 to a homeless family in front of me.

[Behan]

Mike decided to get out the car at all times. No, Mike. Mike deck and run to the door to make sure both la it. Mike pull your girl chair out before.

[Pat]

Before in the past with Pat. Yeah, he gets. He turns into a comedian when the girls are around.

[Behan]

You know it Mer o you.

[Mike]

No, no, no, no, it's not.

[Behan]

I walk in, he's like.

[Pat]

He's like, look at my coming late as. It's like random ass jokes.

[Behan]

Payback though.

[Mike]

The be mad as he be like, bro, you always saying some get off my dick. All I can think.

[Pat]

My all you can think about my dick.

[Behan]

That's what you about to say. He said, get off my dick and

[Pat]

he said, all I can think about.

[Mike]

Edit point G. Okay, what.

[Behan]

What college did y' all go to?

[Pat]

Small D3.

[Mike]

Yeah, Lakeland University.

[Behan]

Oh, my people used to hoo for Lakeland.

[Mike]

Oh, for real?

[Behan]

Yeah. Like, how old are y'? All?

[Pat]

33. Yeah, he 33.

[Behan]

Oh, okay. They was.

[Pat]

We the same age. No, he not.

[Behan]

I people a little older than y', all, but yeah, that's a. That's a dope. Y' all used to have a fire ass basketball team.

[Mike]

Team.

[Pat]

This would be pretty good.

[Behan]

Yeah.

[Mike]

What year? What year are you talking about?

[Behan]

I want to believe it's 080809. Greg Foster. I think. I think G went there.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Behan]

My husy Hamburg went there and my. My boy Lewis Hogan went there.

[Mike]

Oh, damn. Okay. All right, now I got a question for you.

[Behan]

Yeah.

[Mike]

What's something? Because, like, now I feel like you really in the industry. Like, it's very hard to mention sports podcast without bringing you up.

[Behan]

Yeah.

[Mike]

And I feel like either obviously you had the first one, so I'm ask you to explain the first one. Like, what's something that you went in thinking about NBA players that changed immediately, like, as soon as you got in that industry?

[Pat]

Well,

[Behan]

my story's a little different because I've been around NBA players for a long time. Like, I actually got real friends that made it to the NBA and NFL. So my insight on NBA players is probably a lot more different than people who just jumping in the space and just meeting somebody who's in the NBA and working with them. Because when we was kind of the first pod to do something with a friend and an NBA player, a lot of the times when NBA players was getting pods, they was starting with probably a random white guy or something.

[Mike]

You know what I'm Saying somebody.

[Behan]

No, just real shit. So with me, I had experiences growing up in this shit, so it's kind of like I didn't have no different once we got into this world. It's kind of like, I know y'.

[Pat]

All.

[Behan]

I know y' all normal. Like, it took for me to really be around my friends and go hang around them for the first time to see, like, oh, these motherfuckers ain't perfect. I used to look at NBA players and put them on a pedestal. Like, they just didn't do shit. All niggas did was hoop, work hard, go home. So when I got grown and got to, you know, going to parties and shit, you get to see, like, all the different variations of, like, what an athlete is, right?

[Mike]

They just normal.

[Behan]

Yeah, but I used to. I can't. I ain't gonna call my boy out because he's trying to get the job in the league. But one of my. Literally, bro, sort of got drunk all night, bro, until damn near 7 in the morning and got up and scored 40. Real life. Like, y' all know. I'm telling you the problem. Like, so me seeing like that was, like, mind blowing to me, because I'm like, damn, bro, I feel so bad. We. We out all night. I'm just a. A going to the game. He like, bro, I'm good, bro. I got this little pack. We good. Smoking everything. Bro got up. I swear to God, he had 40. But then you see other players that, like, crash out. And so, like, athletes, I kind of had a understanding how they was way, way before this. I just understand now in this space is weird than a. Yeah, right. The people that I didn't know now do a lot of online, and we. And we don't press nobody or nothing, but we ask people like, damn, bro, why did you say that? You know what I mean? Because we like to get a better understanding. And niggas went, oh, I forgot, bro. I don't even remember what the fuck.

[Mike]

I know I don't. I'm not ready for that.

[Behan]

But I'm telling you, that's what's yet to come.

[Mike]

Damn.

[Behan]

Cause Jeff had to grab me, like, bro, I told you this shit is fake. Like, we know who we know. Like, we cool with who we cool with, but don't think too much about this shit. Like, come do our job and we out. You know what I mean? Make the show what it is, but we don't gotta fuck with them. So, yeah, niggas is weird in this space, y'. All.

[Mike]

So do you feel like People like. Cause I'm. I'm guessing you, like, at even more parties than you was when you was coming up. So do you feel like.

[Behan]

Yeah.

[Mike]

So do you feel like people. Do you feel like people put on a show around you? Like, I'm not gonna show B. Him my real personality?

[Behan]

Cause nah, that's.

[Mike]

He might tell a horror story.

[Behan]

Hell no. The problem with us is why people be scared to come on our pod. Cause we come and make you feel comfortable. And n. Like, damn, did I. What did I say? We've been drinking and kicking it. Cause it's like coming to kick it with your cousins, bro. You know what? I'm so we. I don't wanna. Like, if you had prior anything. I make it a point never to bring that shit up on the show because I know y' all niggas is human and y' all go through shit, you know what I mean? Like, I know how false allegations work in this shit. Like, so I always make people feel. Well, all three of us, me, DJ and Jeff always make people just feel like one, bro. So it ain't really. No. It ain't really no beef or no shit like that. It's all smooth.

[Mike]

Yeah. I feel like you got the golden ticket. I started off kind of, like, very proper, and I was, like, trying not to offend nobody, but you came in speaking your mind right away.

[Behan]

Yeah.

[Mike]

And I feel like that kind of makes you uncancellable because, like, people knew what they was getting into.

[Pat]

I used to get canceled.

[Mike]

Who? Nah, nah, you good.

[Behan]

I probably can, bro, but, like, I told them.

[Mike]

Not Freaky Mike.

[Behan]

Nah, he gotta chill. I like how I tell people all the time too, bro. I've been joaning on people since I was 4, so I don't care. Like, we talk about the studs. If you gay, if you God damn it straight, whatever. I ain't never gave nobody a pass, bro. Nobody passed because I don't try to go. I don't try to dig deep in nobody. Like I said, we don't talk about nothing personal with nobody.

[Pat]

Just not like the low hanging fruit.

[Behan]

Yeah, but if. But if I see you, bro, we just gonna join. And that's just. That's my goddamn love language. So, like, Ryan Clark. Clark. Ryan Clark came on the show and got the. Jonah know. Me and that man, we tight. Like, that's. That's my guy now, for real, you know what I'm saying? Because we built that relationship. So sometimes, like, Dwight hired the. I wasn't expecting that to go crazy.

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah.

[Behan]

But I feel like. No, but you just recently caught him.

[Mike]

Nasty. But they don't. People don't even know that's y' all lingo, though.

[Behan]

Yeah, but exactly. And that's another thing. I say nasty all the time. And that's not me disrespecting nobody. That's just like, bro, basically. You know what I'm saying? But that got out of hand. But I feel like how he took that wasn't like. Because we met him, we did the show him, and I feel like he took that the wrong way.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Behan]

You know what I'm saying? So clip culture. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I. Bro, I don't. I don't care. That's the thing. I don't care. I don't want to up the money. I teetered that line, though. Yeah, no, I teetered that line.

[Pat]

You have to. We just talked about this with Drew Ski. It's like, oh, my God. And he was explaining he's the worst. Yeah.

[Mike]

He be getting away with a lot

[Behan]

of my Drew Ski. He says, the craziest in the world. So I know what I do is for sure Mal.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Behan]

And I'm not even comparing us, but I'm saying. And what we say. Oh, he got me be a thousand percent.

[Mike]

But that's why I love your content. Because I'm like, if B hand say something and you push that level up, I say everything under there.

[Behan]

Because I'm like, hey, he gotta get canceled. This tears. Oh, God.

[Pat]

The listeners keep saying, you said you're gonna. You would punch.

[Mike]

God damn.

[Behan]

Yeah, that's out of pocket now.

[Pat]

See, that's.

[Mike]

Let me explain myself.

[Behan]

That's what I'm saying. You. You saying that that's kind of you.

[Mike]

Okay, can I explain myself?

[Behan]

You're touching a different audience.

[Mike]

But can I explain myself?

[Behan]

I'm real go crazy.

[Mike]

Because I think I'm. I think I'm. I know I'm going to heaven. You know what I'm saying? But he said in a scenario where, like, I reached heaven's gate and they like, no, you can't come in.

[Behan]

Oh, you shitty. Somebody gotta get these things. You know what I. So, like. Okay, you said in that reference.

[Mike]

Yes. Like, oh, I'm not getting in. Like, oh, okay.

[Behan]

N. But I'm glad that just happened. See how you just said what you said? You a punch. God. That's how my get clipped up sometimes with no backing. How you was just explaining that to me, bro. I understand that by how he came off. If he tweeted that. If he said, Patrick Said he'll punch God and not giving no context, Bro, your name is Smut it out. All because of this nigga.

[Mike]

Y' all got so many. Like we got. I think we. I think we counted. I think we got, like, maybe like 23, 24, like, prominent fake pages that post our clips. Y' all got about a thousand.

[Behan]

Oh, yeah, Easily.

[Mike]

Like a thousand. Thousand.

[Behan]

Easily, bro.

[Mike]

Easily. And they be clipping y' all out of context all the time.

[Behan]

You know what's. What I tell y' all to enjoy about this right now, too, bro. Now, when somebody out of these pages say something, they call these niggas about me. Like, somebody just posted some shit about Isaiah Stewart and thought it was me. Rich Paul even reached out like, bro, we love being. Yeah, y' all can't up and lose the show because his ass tweeting some like this. And like, that ain't be him, but that's some be him to say, yeah.

[Mike]

Oh, yeah.

[Behan]

Oh, B hinto, Club 520.

[Mike]

I tagged me. Tell us something. Responded like, he like, much love,

[Behan]

but no, that happens, though. But I always tell people, like, he just. He been going on a crazy run this past month. But I'm like, please just take a sec second and read these people's bio. Yeah, yeah, they be telling y' all they not me. But I'll be telling him because I got a relationship with him, because I some I do make him take down. Yeah, I'll let him. You know, I let him get his off. But I'm like, bro, bro, my name is attached to a lot of this. You using me, right? You know what I'm saying? So you gotta kind of be careful how you put out. Because it'd be some, bro. It'd be the wildest video. It could be some about the gay community, anything. Yeah, he is say some Bernie Mac. That'll go way too far. Like, my. My Twitter was shut down, bro, for three days.

[Pat]

Your personal Twitter?

[Behan]

My personal Twitter because of him. Because of some that he said, that's crazy. You know what I'm saying? So that is real. So enjoy why it's still Mal. Yeah, enjoy that.

[Mike]

I ain't gonna lie. I was part of the problem because there was a video out about you that I actually thought was you. And I said, man, this is wild.

[Behan]

You know what video I'm talking about now tell me.

[Mike]

You was in a bar and you was like. It was a girl in front of you and white girl, and you was

[Behan]

fingering the girl that. No, we can talk about the. That, bro. It's a middle of a. Like a party. It's like a pool party or some, but it's a. With my same head shape, waves, everything. The only thing that saved me, bro, was my like my tattoos and on my neck. That scared me. I got a family at home, bro. I didn't think about that, you know what I'm saying? So I'm looking at that, I'm like, where the was we at? Like. Cause when we go out of town, bro, like, we party and n get drink, you know what I mean? Like, we be in the club. So I'm like. And we be like at day parties. Cause we do like activations and shit. I'm looking at this nigga. I said, oh, no.

[Pat]

That gotta be a scary feeling to not know.

[Behan]

That's out of body, nigga. The same build every motherfucker. So you ain't wrong, bro. I had a really answer to that. And my girl is cool than a bitch, bro. Like, my lady is. Is. She understands my life, you know what I'm saying? But that, bro, was that a little more explaining? No, I'm just saying it wasn't even. Like I said, my girl is cool. But it's like, you know how girls got friends and family. Don't play about them. It was more so them like sending me, like, we know you this quote unquote famous, but you getting out of hand. Yeah.

[Mike]

Oh.

[Behan]

Oh. I'm looking at it like. It took me like about a day, bro, to really kind of like, like realize that that wasn't me, bro.

[Pat]

Oh, my God.

[Behan]

I'm like.

[Pat]

So there was a time you like really thought like this was you and you just didn't remember this.

[Behan]

I swear to God, if I find it or bro find it, he's going to show you, bro.

[Mike]

You got it. No, that's the reason I started watching 520. I said, oh. I said. I said, man, I gotta step my game up.

[Behan]

Ain't that a beast? That's why that almost ruined my life. That's probably the wild. That's funny as hell. That and the video about Dwayne Son dribbling. No, so that one is probably. Them two videos is probably like my most like, craziest videos.

[Mike]

Did you. Oh, man.

[Behan]

Cuz I didn't make that video. But we just did like a reaction to it and it was.

[Mike]

No, that was crazy.

[Behan]

Everybody blamed me for that. No, that was in this room. It was here in this room.

[Mike]

That was definitely. That was definitely. Mike and Jeff fought for that. Cuz they could have stopped You.

[Caller 1]

You.

[Behan]

Yes.

[Mike]

He and Jeff said nope at first, but then he started participating. Alive.

[Behan]

Yeah.

[Mike]

And I feel like you feed off their lives and you just like, okay, that must be the go ahead.

[Behan]

No, but I just. Bro, I couldn't get that out of my head because DJ was talking about, like, when Gilbert Arenas first knew who saucy Santana was. So when he has told that story, that just because I had just seen the video and I just. I just. We just brought it up, bro. Pulled it up.

[Caller 2]

Up.

[Behan]

But that is the funniest video on the Internet.

[Mike]

No, that. That it's up because, like, some of the funniest stuff is just like. But when you think about the actual person that's affecting you, like, ah, nah.

[Behan]

Yeah. And I didn't mean for it to be like that, because I'm like, bro, the sad part about that is they thought it was me that made the video.

[Mike]

Oh, no.

[Behan]

Yeah. I was just re. Like, laughing at the video. And it's like the. Is twerking on the basketball, bro. Like, that is behind.

[Mike]

Oh, there's crazy. Oh, so. Because I remember you talking about the Oscar Robinson thing. I ain't gonna bring that up, but. I ain't gonna bring that up. But it got me to thinking because Lil Yachty just recently went on a podcast and dissed.

[Behan]

I forgot who he is.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was dissing them and saying, like, how new age rap is better. And then it got me back to the point where this is my opinion about it. Like, just because something is old. I mean, just because something was done first doesn't mean, like, it's just done better.

[Pat]

You know what I mean?

[Mike]

Oscar Robinson. Go ob. Triple double.

[Behan]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Started the wave and stuff like that. No, for sure, you pay him homage, but that don't mean that he better or that he can even be in the league today.

[Behan]

Exactly.

[Mike]

And the one thing that I want people to think about is there's no rapper that could play in the league today. Not like he couldn't even last. He probably couldn't even get a bucket. There's not one rapper. I don't give a. If you like Chris Brown and you think he'd get a bucket. No, he can't.

[Pat]

You don't think Chris Brown can get a bucket in the bucket.

[Mike]

But what.

[Caller 1]

Who?

[Behan]

Davies. If he. If he. If Davies worked out. If Davies worked out and really, like, tapped in, like, now. Bro is a little older, but I'm saying, like, he was, like, a very, very highly touted basketball player. He played with KDE on the AAU team. And he's six' six.

[Pat]

Okay, God damn.

[Mike]

Maybe he's six' six.

[Behan]

Yes, bro.

[Mike]

What the fuck?

[Behan]

Real shit. So he's like, He's a real basketball sixth. He was a real basketball player, okay. A real guard.

[Mike]

But I still don't believe it. I still don't believe it. Like at the high, like, if they paying attention to him now. If you saying like, Davies running out there like he pots and. Yeah, I believe Davies can knock in

[Behan]

a couple Pa gonna get on your ass.

[Mike]

No, he not. No, you're not. That's why I'm talking about it. All he talk about when. If I see it's just me and P, I'm straight. We both going home to our families. I promise you that. But no, but I was saying that because I saw Master P actually getting buckets and I'm like, but he was getting some ISO buckets.

[Behan]

Yeah.

[Mike]

I believe Davies could run up and down and if, like, if he treated like a regular player and he just shooting there, maybe get a fast break layup. But I'm saying, like paying attention to the person like an ISO bucket. I don't believe it's a rapper that can get it today. That's why I'm saying, like, the league is just, just taking off. I'm seeing people in a g league dropping 50 balls and I'm like, damn, they can't even get in the league right now.

[Behan]

So do you agree that players back then can play in today's game? Can Oscar Robertson play in today's game?

[Mike]

No, no, I just, I. I just watched a highlight of Sebastian Telfair and he had like. Sebastian Telfair had that shit. He outta the league.

[Behan]

Okay.

[Mike]

Gone. I'm looking at players like OJ Mayo out of the league. Like these, these players like that.

[Behan]

Well, they out of the league for other.

[Mike]

Yeah, that's true too.

[Behan]

You name too fried. Like you name two of my guys that are just out of league. Not because of talent, because of other. Off course. I'm talking about pure talent. Oscar Robinson was 6, 3, 2, 20, averaging a triple double in the goddamn 60s. You don't think he can come in the NBA today and give half of that production?

[Pat]

I thought the assist will still be. Will still be up there.

[Mike]

No.

[Pat]

You don't think so?

[Mike]

Hell no. I just don't believe it. But if you drop. Let's take DeMar DeRozan and drop him back in that time, shit, he might have six rings.

[Behan]

Okay, so now you brought up Lil Yachty in the music. So we Know, you don't fuck with the old heads. Cool.

[Mike]

Not all of them old music.

[Behan]

Do you think if one of those old rappers. Let's say who's an old rapper? The hip, hip hoppity shit, that's different. But I'm saying somebody who was really lyrical rock hit. If you take Rakim and put him in today, can Rakim maintain his status?

[Mike]

That's different. Rakim is different. He's talking about a lyricist, though.

[Behan]

I'm just saying. But I'm. It's a basketball player, bro.

[Mike]

I feel like. I feel like everybody has their hip hop hippity person. I don't feel like it's like a. A timeline to it. That's what I'm trying to say.

[Behan]

Was Lil Yachty out of pocket then?

[Mike]

A little bit. He should have explained it more like everybody got some. I literally just saw like. I literally just listened to an old little pump song. You know what I'm saying? It just like. Like people gonna be looking at that and just be like this the type of y' all used to like, you know what I'm saying? Like we gonna. They gonna talk to us the same way, but they not gonna be able to say shit about Cole or Kendrick.

[Pat]

I think also because like a lot of the. I would say quote unquote, bad rappers in today's times, they're more popular too. Because the Internet, we don't know a lot of like the really bad rappers.

[Behan]

True.

[Pat]

Cuz you can get on being a bad rapper.

[Behan]

Yes.

[Pat]

In today's time.

[Behan]

That's a great point, bro. Because they did not have TikTok Instagram. No.

[Pat]

So we just. The bad ones made it.

[Behan]

They would. A lot of them more than would have been exposed.

[Mike]

That's what I'm saying, bro. Like, all them songs wasn't good, bro.

[Behan]

But that goes to show you how hard it was to make it though.

[Pat]

It was.

[Mike]

It was.

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah, I would agree.

[Behan]

That's what. That's why I give like old music and shit, like all rappers a pass because the, The. The route that they had to take, bro. Out the trunk, out the store. Physical copies, real touring, like on the bus. Street teams, like kids now don't even have a street team.

[Mike]

It's too instant these days. Ain't got a grind for it, bro. I literally just seen a nigga go viral on TikTok and then two got five chains. They're just like, bro, just gave that the world up. This one little melody like, but content.

[Behan]

All you gotta do is have a catch.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Behan]

That's I tell people all the time, why we so out of tune Is because we older, bro. Yeah, kids are the most important part to anybody's success, bro.

[Mike]

No facts.

[Behan]

Athletes, rappers, entertainers. It is the. If the kids don't with you, you're not gonna last, bro. Yeah, tell me that's the only thing for real.

[Mike]

There's people selling out. Like, bro, I haven't. No offense, but I haven't listened to a Travis Scott song in so long, bro. But you look at his concerts pack well. You're the biggest album sales pack.

[Behan]

One of the biggest. One of the biggest. Who y' all listen to then?

[Pat]

Who I listen to Travis. Pac, St. John.

[Behan]

Pac?

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Behan]

Who's that?

[Mike]

Tupac.

[Behan]

Oh, girl.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Oh, you don't.

[Behan]

Bro. That's why I'm. Who is that? Is this live, bro?

[Mike]

No, no, it's Pac who I listen to, bro.

[Behan]

Let that go, Chuck D. Stop, Stop.

[Mike]

Between that, I might throw on a Louis Farrakhan speech.

[Behan]

Stop.

[Mike]

Now, I was getting my haircut at the barber shop and the threw on, like, the old lo. Louis Farrakhan tapes. I said, yeah, I'm about to get up in this bit. I knew my. Was about to go straight back. I said, oh, that used the double razor. That lion, man.

[Behan]

Give me some real music heads that you listen to, man.

[Mike]

Music heads, baby. Keem, I really like his. His new that he just dropped.

[Behan]

Okay.

[Mike]

I don't know if it's J I D or jid. I fuck with him both. Yo, that's my guy Clips. I really fuck with they last album.

[Pat]

Obviously.

[Mike]

Fuck with Kendrick album. I fuck with Party and Drake last album. I like everybody music. That.

[Caller 1]

That.

[Mike]

That means something, you know what I'm saying? I like Gun Alive.

[Pat]

I like the Islandy kind of music,

[Mike]

like rap about something that's going on in your life. You know what I'm saying?

[Behan]

So you like, like DeVito?

[Pat]

Yeah. Afrobeats. I like like St. John.

[Behan]

St. John is raw. His first fire.

[Pat]

Super Fire. Underrated, too.

[Behan]

Yeah. Damn. You know something?

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah.

[Behan]

My boy a little versatile.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah, Very versatile. He got no choice, man.

[Behan]

He better stay tapped in.

[Mike]

He knocked that. Tapped in. He ain't even know who you mess up. Who he know. Morris Chestnut.

[Pat]

I did know more. That's what I said was in. I forgot what movie y' all said Boys to men.

[Behan]

No said boys to men. That's the best, bro.

[Caller 1]

I bet.

[Behan]

Boys in the hood, bro. You got. You got both these out, bro. You got boys in the hood.

[Pat]

I met boys in the hood.

[Mike]

No, this he like you said, the Ricky's in.

[Pat]

That's why I said por.

[Behan]

Oh, you know Ricky. Yeah, yeah.

[Mike]

He. He like to jump in from being a foreigner and like being American. Like be trying to jump in.

[Behan]

I be talking about with the studs. He's a tweener.

[Pat]

Yo.

[Mike]

Let's take a quick break to thank the sponsor of today's podcast. Earning Life. Doesn't happen to you bi weekly. So why does Payday, the money you've earned should be in your hands. And with earning, it can be.

[Pat]

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[Mike]

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[Behan]

Everybody knows White Monster Zero Ultra. That's the OG it kicked off this whole zero sugar energy drink thing, but Ultra is a whole lineup now. You've got Strawberry Dreams, Blue Hawaiian Sunrise and Vice Guava. And they all bring the Monster Energy punch.

[Pat]

So if you've been living in the

[Behan]

white can branch out.

[Mike]

Ultra's got a flavor from for every

[Behan]

vibe and every single one is zero sugar.

[Pat]

Tap the banner to learn more callers now. All right, BET Yo y what up?

[Mike]

What it is, what it is, what it is type.

[Pat]

Okay. Welcome to Crash Podcast, bro.

[Caller 1]

Thanks, D. No longer want to tell the story.

[Mike]

Where are you from?

[Caller 1]

Trinidad.

[Mike]

Oh, Trinidad.

[Behan]

Okay.

[Pat]

All right. What's the most embarrassing thing that happened to you?

[Caller 1]

Right, so this one time I run from some. Because it was too hairy.

[Mike]

Because it was too hairy,

[Caller 1]

bro.

[Behan]

Why? What made you run?

[Caller 1]

Right? It was recently. So like I tell you, recently, like last week. Okay, so Trinidad Carnival just finished, right? So I meet this. This girl from New York and she come down and I miss you. So she called me over. So I went, right? So when I went, no, she was on the phone with some fella, but I really care. So she talking to the man and then she going, because she gonna get cracked.

[Mike]

So I can't understand it, but I understand everything.

[Caller 1]

So hung up before now, she took off. She clothes hairy. But listen, it's hairy, but she died blonde. And it's und.

[Behan]

I ain't gonna lie. Brought a bit scary, too. Oh, God.

[Caller 1]

Yeah.

[Behan]

I ain't gonna lie.

[Mike]

Oh, my God.

[Pat]

What was like, did you like, like, actually run? Like, turn around and ran, right?

[Caller 1]

So same time, one of my friends was calling, so I just answered the phone and say, yeah, boy, I coming now and I'll come back.

[Behan]

Oh, yeah, the dummy car. I love that.

[Pat]

So was it I leave? Was it the cut? Was it the color that scared you? Or was it just the hairiness?

[Caller 1]

Just the hairiness. You come Trinidad from a different country. I mean, wax. I didn't want to get cracked. Something wrong with that.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Pat]

It's a cultural thing.

[Caller 1]

You had a wax in Trinidad. You had a wax. You had to come good.

[Mike]

Yeah, but the blonde. That blonde would have scared me.

[Behan]

Yeah, that would have threw me off.

[Mike]

I ain't going to lie.

[Behan]

I didn't got down on some hair and before.

[Pat]

Yeah, but the blonde.

[Mike]

Not a blonde is crazy.

[Pat]

That's a thought.

[Mike]

Like Napoleon Dynamite, Marshall Mathers.

[Caller 2]

No, but here was the embarrassing part.

[Caller 1]

She while I was working, right? So then she come while I was working again the next day, and I was telling my friend about it, and then she raised up on and under she arm hairy too. And it blunt same way. And then he see and he was like, nah.

[Pat]

Oh.

[Mike]

So I guess what I heard is like, he. He talks arm hair.

[Caller 1]

He.

[Mike]

Oh, he said arm hair. Yeah, her underarm hair was blonde, too.

[Caller 1]

Yep.

[Mike]

Well, at the end of the day, you still ran on, nigga.

[Caller 2]

Yeah.

[Behan]

Yeah. Was she white?

[Caller 1]

No, she.

[Pat]

Hello?

[Caller 3]

Hello?

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah, we can hear you. What up? Welcome to Crash Podcast. We got our boy, B. We just talking over each other.

[Behan]

I know.

[Mike]

Tell that. You just talking too much.

[Caller 2]

Much.

[Mike]

Just say, what up, bro?

[Behan]

What's good? Y' all got. Who with y'? All?

[Pat]

We got our boy Behan with us.

[Caller 3]

Oh, what's that with it?

[Behan]

What up, bro?

[Pat]

We got a question for you. What's your dilemma?

[Caller 3]

A got a damn. What was my dilemma?

[Behan]

Oh, I gotta make $29 stretch for

[Caller 3]

like two weeks right now.

[Mike]

Currently.

[Behan]

Currently.

[Caller 3]

That tax return a bitch ain't his yet.

[Mike]

Okay, what, what bills you gotta do in between the. None.

[Behan]

I ain't gonna lie. I just paid off my car note, so I should be sure.

[Mike]

Okay, cool. Okay. What? You got a girl?

[Caller 1]

Nah.

[Behan]

Why not? Why not, though?

[Pat]

That does not sound convincing.

[Behan]

Why don't you have a girl?

[Caller 3]

No, I, I, I don't.

[Behan]

But, like, am I involved with somebody?

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Behan]

So it.

[Caller 1]

We ain't.

[Behan]

Yeah, she can't, she can't make nothing stretch for you. She can't let you hold something to that motherfucker. Text her. I ain't gonna lie, bro.

[Mike]

I'm profit on the.

[Behan]

I'm not telling her.

[Mike]

You know why he can't do it? Because that's who he spent it on. And she gonna be like, why, why we going on them dates last week if you needed some money?

[Behan]

You playing the game, bro?

[Pat]

How old are you?

[Caller 3]

I'm 23.

[Mike]

Oh, yeah.

[Behan]

Oh, you playing a game?

[Pat]

Basketball.

[Mike]

Young, young dummy.

[Behan]

Yeah, or, yeah, or you ain't hanging wood like you supposed to. Well, you gotta get in there and you young, bro. So, so it's okay for you to make these little minor mistakes and it's okay, we all been broke. I'm saying if she got a job, bro, and you see like some type of future with her, or even if you don't her, it's temporary. If you already laid her and sprayed her, ask for a hundred, don't make no 20, ain't getting you tomorrow. I ain't gonna lie. I'm, I'm, I'm like, I'm in my last year of school, so like, just, I'm, I'm really chilling for the time being. So, like, no, no, no, no, no,

[Mike]

no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Listen, listen, little Listen, listen up. You just said, you just said I got $29 to my name and said I'm chilling in the same sentence like that don't see?

[Behan]

Nah, your hustle hand got to be crazier than that, bro. You probably going to school to be something fire. Whatever it is, bro.

[Pat]

What are you going to school to be? Civil engineer. Exactly.

[Behan]

Yeah. You about to really get to the chicken. And this is where you play with her, though, though. You see where her. This is where. You see where her head is, cuz if she, if you been Rocking with her. She know what you going to school to be. So she know the real bag on the way. That tax return here in a while, you ain't even be going to get one of them.

[Pat]

She has to see you as an investment.

[Behan]

Yeah, and you supposed to. Does she got kids? No. Damn. Okay, so her probably ain't hitting on nothing.

[Pat]

No, don't.

[Mike]

Don't listen to me.

[Behan]

I'm talking about her texture. I mean. I mean.

[Mike]

I mean, look,

[Behan]

the only reason why I say I'm. Look, the only reason why I say I'm chilling is because, like, you know, like, everything is in like, driving distance and stuff or walking distance and like that. My job, you know, school and stuff

[Mike]

like that, I hear.

[Behan]

Bro, that's too long. 14 days, bro, for 29, bro. And I get it, bro.

[Mike]

I mean, I got, you know, I

[Behan]

got odd jobs and stuff like that. I do pressure washing. So I got something coming up.

[Mike]

It ain't odd enough he ain't got

[Behan]

no money, this pat on dick.

[Pat]

Hey,

[Mike]

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Listen, listen, listen, listen. You can't talk nothing to me, bro. You got 29.

[Behan]

I ain't gonna lie. Ain't you like 10 years?

[Caller 1]

You 10?

[Behan]

You like 10 years older than me. Of course you supposed to be balling.

[Mike]

I got 40 years more money than you. How about that? Hey, this.

[Behan]

This flex, this. Flexing his bread like he not a broadcaster. Like, damn.

[Mike]

I'm not. I'm not, bro. I'm just. I'm trying to motivate you by being mean to you. So you, like, damn, pat a whole ass, but he should be right.

[Behan]

No, real, you a. I gotta get my money up. It works

[Pat]

now.

[Behan]

Lock in, bro. Lock in. Hang with it. Ask for 40 on the dresser. Hey, look, hey, before we get up out of here, hey, before we get up out of here, I'm a. I'm a Patreon member. And before y' all say I paid for this before I went, bro, no,

[Pat]

we're gonna give you a refund, bro.

[Mike]

No, we got you, bro. Hey, make that 36.

[Pat]

You got it.

[Behan]

7.

[Mike]

Coming right back to you.

[Pat]

All right, man. You have a good one.

[Behan]

No, for real.

[Mike]

Hit my line, bro. I'm gonna send you 50 personally, bro. Gotcha.

[Behan]

Hey, stand on it.

[Mike]

I'm gonna stand on it, bro. I'm gonna stand on it. Broke ass.

[Pat]

You know I got you this a hoe. All right, bro.

[Mike]

You know I'm gonna tell everybody I

[Behan]

gave you the 50 too.

[Mike]

Like.

[Behan]

Oh, God. You gonna be like, hey, bro, You. Hey, I changed this.

[Pat]

I changed this poor life. $50.

[Mike]

You see that? Mid went to Jack in the box because of me. He couldn't with that drive thru. All right, all right.

[Pat]

Oh, man.

[Mike]

Now 29 is crazy. Adam, for two weeks, I always had 40 on me. You know what I mean? Like, not 29.

[Pat]

I always had a way to get a 100.

[Mike]

Yes. Oh, no.

[Behan]

He said he pr. That cost a lot of money to get your anything. Pr. Yeah, yeah, so.

[Mike]

But he too deep in. He got a car Note with only 29. Like you signed up for big money movements, bro.

[Behan]

He the. That got a probably $1,000 car payment.

[Mike]

Yeah, exactly.

[Behan]

For a Volkswagen that worth 10, 40,000.

[Mike]

Oh, man, that's paying 40k.

[Behan]

Hey, tear his ass up. And it's about here pay here. You know, got every two weeks. Nigga, they coming to get that. And then when they come get that, you still owe. Oh, dusty ass.

[Pat]

Oh, we're good, we're good.

[Caller 3]

Y. Yo, what up, what up, what up?

[Mike]

You not broke, is you?

[Caller 3]

Oh, no, that just means the collar was broke, wasn't it?

[Pat]

Yeah,

[Caller 3]

I said I done seen the show too many times.

[Behan]

All right.

[Caller 3]

No.

[Pat]

All right, what's your dilemma?

[Caller 3]

So basically I don't know how to tell. Well, I keep trying to tell her, but I feel like my girl's making dumb choices and she about to ruin her life.

[Pat]

Okay, what are the dumb choices?

[Caller 3]

Leaving me. And it's not like, hope, this is

[Mike]

not your last call.

[Caller 3]

And it's not like I, like, I'm not gonna say like, I'm better than every single guy out there, but like, when it comes to like, everything that we've done, it's like, like match wise. And I don't think your expectations are real of what a guy is.

[Mike]

It's gonna be another. It's gonna be another to eat her ass, bro.

[Behan]

Are you. Are you taking care of her?

[Caller 3]

Hey, he can do that. He can do that, huh?

[Behan]

Are you taking care of her?

[Caller 3]

I mean, I'm the only person she ever known. I mean, I still am right now.

[Mike]

Oh, man.

[Pat]

Why do you think she's gonna break up with you?

[Behan]

Yo, ain't hanging wood.

[Caller 3]

Oh, she said she. She said she wants to because. Because she wants to. Like, she feels like she ain't never been able to go out. Basically, like, be outside. So why are you like a young hoe?

[Behan]

No, no, no. It's not about being a young hoe, but may I ask, who is this? How old are you? How old are you, young Sir?

[Caller 3]

Me? I'm 28.

[Behan]

Okay. How old is your lady?

[Caller 3]

She 24.

[Behan]

Right. So why are you stopping her from going out and being a young lady?

[Caller 3]

No, I let her go out. Like, if she won't go out, I let her.

[Behan]

So what?

[Caller 3]

But she wanted to be. She want to experience other people. Specifically, she said, yeah, you not hanging wood.

[Behan]

Like, you're not. You're not hanging wood. Like you supposed to let that girl be free, man. Go find you a girl who's already established. It seems like you ready to settle down.

[Caller 3]

Oh, no, I'm already settled down. But like, even if she do that, she's still tied to me. We got a kid.

[Mike]

Yeah, that don't mean nothing, bro. It's just the. That's laying wood. Gonna have extra fruits next one.

[Behan]

He sound like a narcissist.

[Mike]

He said already knew. When he said, I let her go out. I already knew what type of dude he was dealing with, bro. Don't she want to leave?

[Behan]

Yeah, you too controlling, bro.

[Caller 3]

What do you mean? I don't. I don't never tell her no.

[Mike]

But you said I let her go out to the point that she even got to feel the pressure, that she got to come ask you right there.

[Caller 3]

That ask.

[Mike]

That give her the urge to want to somebody else so you don't listen.

[Behan]

That's your problem.

[Mike]

You. You talking over who trying to give you the game.

[Behan]

You talking back way, way too much, bro. On some real, bro. This is not real life.

[Caller 1]

This.

[Behan]

This is real life, bro. If that girl is. If girl has told you that she want to other and you trying to keep her there, you a fool.

[Pat]

Yeah, it's so stupid.

[Caller 3]

Hey, no, cuz she's still saying she want to do couples therapy.

[Mike]

Yeah, couples therapy. Yeah, yeah, but.

[Pat]

But she lean as hell.

[Behan]

You green. A going to get a hold of you, boy, and suck you dry. Oh, man, you going to wish Cassandra would have stayed chief.

[Mike]

The thing is. What you don't realize, guys, the things she going through. She doing couples therapy with you because all the dudes that. She ain't got the paper.

[Caller 3]

Oh, no, we're not doing it. She want to, but I'm not doing it.

[Behan]

I'm just saying.

[Mike]

You see, you don't listen little you. You got the paper. That's why she keeping you around. The other got the woods, bro.

[Caller 3]

N. It's not that. Who's that? Who's that other person?

[Mike]

That's not Key.

[Caller 3]

He sound like he related to Key now.

[Behan]

These my cousins. These my cousins, man. That's it. That we. We don't got our relationship dynamic. Don't have nothing to do.

[Pat]

What's going on?

[Behan]

Fire, bro. Your in shambles, bro. And just go get you a new.

[Caller 3]

I mean that's cool, but like, we got a family to keep together.

[Pat]

No, no, bro, it's not your choice, bro.

[Behan]

Stop. Bro, I'm so glad y' all do video calls. No, that's why they don't.

[Mike]

But he know better, bro. You know? So like, okay. Do you know the dude she having sex with?

[Caller 3]

No. So you know, she says there's no one, but I don't believe her.

[Pat]

No, no, she definitely is somebody else if she already asked.

[Mike]

Yeah, no, I agree. I know, I agree.

[Caller 3]

Because she keep going to Atlanta.

[Pat]

The act is already done. Oh, shit. If Mike.

[Caller 3]

Yeah, no, like I said, she keeps

[Behan]

going to the land. Atlanta.

[Pat]

She keep going to Atlanta?

[Caller 3]

Yeah, she going this weekend.

[Pat]

Oh, for what? What reason did she say she was going there?

[Caller 3]

Bro, she said she gonna go see the Trap Museum and some other.

[Behan]

She got a straight. The Trap Museum? We went there.

[Mike]

Yeah, we went to the Trap Museum.

[Behan]

Damn. Young La in the the Sonic Rings.

[Pat]

Nah, she might be over, bro. No, she.

[Behan]

It's over, bro.

[Pat]

Start making your arrangements now.

[Mike]

She might be with a student too.

[Caller 3]

Hey, I'm already. I'm already doing my arrangements. But like at the same point, like if we both get our own. Because we live together, if we both get our own place. That's hella expensive to come back from.

[Mike]

Yeah, for your podcast, bro.

[Behan]

Somebody's about to take care of her, bro. Like, get ready to be a co parent.

[Caller 3]

I still don't know who this is.

[Behan]

That's fine. Don't worry about it. Just. Just be ready to be a co parent, man. I know you're a great father, man. Lock in.

[Mike]

You got. You got a hard time finding out who is I see. Cuz I don't really care. Like, he can't find out.

[Behan]

Oh, man.

[Mike]

Now that's crazy. N. He. Nah, he. He's so green. I hate.

[Behan]

I hate like that.

[Mike]

They too green, bro. You got to keep that away from me.

[Behan]

Like, controlling ass men are the worst, bro. Oh, man. Damn. Let that girl be free, man.

[Mike]

Let her do what she want to do.

[Behan]

She bold for telling him that though.

[Pat]

Yeah, that's how you know it already happened.

[Mike]

Yes. If she already. First of all. First of all, first of all. Happy International Woman's. Happy International Woman's Year. Happy International Woman's deck. Happy International Woman's Century.

[Pat]

We got the Happy International Woman Century T shirts. Live for they're cropped and we got the uncropped ones for. For the audio listeners. You got. I guess you got to explain it. Everything Patches said. That's what's on the T shirt.

[Mike]

That's what's on the shirt. My fault. And don't get mad at us for taking the ad break on our own.

[Pat]

This is brought to you by us.

[Mike]

Yes. Don't get mad at them other companies. Don't get mad at us. And don't skip our shit, either. Take me out of times, too, ass nigga. All right.

[Pat]

Masterpiece.

[Caller 3]

It was good.

[Mike]

Yo. Welcome to Crash on these podcast. No. No small talk, bro.

[Caller 3]

All right, all right, all right.

[Mike]

What's your dilemma?

[Pat]

No. Oh, the first one.

[Behan]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Oh, my bad. What's your most embarrassing. What's the most embarrassing thing that happened to you?

[Caller 3]

That little string on my meat teared when she was riding it. So all that freak talk just went out the roof.

[Pat]

The little string on your what on my meat?

[Behan]

What string is that?

[Caller 3]

You know, on.

[Mike]

On the.

[Caller 3]

On the down. I mean, underneath your tip, there's, like, string connected to the skin. That little string tears, bro.

[Mike]

That's not a string. That's the thing that keeps your penis together.

[Behan]

What the.

[Caller 3]

Bro, it looks. It looks like a string drink.

[Behan]

It came off.

[Caller 3]

It didn't. It came off. It teared. It teared. She was riding too hard.

[Behan]

Oh, she ripped it.

[Pat]

Yeah,

[Caller 1]

bro.

[Mike]

That's on you, bro.

[Pat]

Wait, were you, like, bleeding and.

[Caller 3]

Yeah, I was. The funny thing is, she. She was riding and stuff. I felt the liquid, and I told her to stop because I thought she had. She was on her period. So I said, like, chill, chill. You're bleeding. You're bleeding. So she stands up, she checks down. She know that that's not possible, bro. Whole time, my. My dick's, like, screwing out blood.

[Mike]

And. And this is. Fellas, this is. This is for y'.

[Pat]

All.

[Mike]

For all y'. All that don't do foreplay. This is what's gonna happen to y'.

[Behan]

All. This.

[Mike]

What happened, bro? You just. You thought you could just stick it in there, huh?

[Behan]

Was she like. Was she prostitute, or.

[Pat]

Was this, like, your girl?

[Caller 3]

I mean, we. We were talking on Hinge. It was, like, two years older than me. We met up. She gave me top and stuff.

[Pat]

Where are you from?

[Caller 3]

Belgium.

[Pat]

So it's a Belgium, dude.

[Behan]

Bro, this is crazy. Wow, bro. Did you go to the hospital? What did they say? Oh, yeah.

[Caller 3]

Yeah, I went to the hospital. So I waited, like, 15 minutes to wait if the blood will stop, but it didn't. It kept running so we called the.

[Behan]

The ambulance out right now.

[Mike]

That's crazy, bro.

[Behan]

Damn, bro. You. You didn't record a towel around that.

[Caller 3]

I was like, full on tissue. Everything stains. I get to the hospital, they help me. Me, I'm sitting down on the table and they're checking it out. But the thing is, I'm not a shower.

[Behan]

I'm a grower.

[Caller 3]

So my meat's a little. Little, little.

[Mike]

Oh, my God. It was six doctors around. They. They saw as me and three of them left.

[Behan]

Hold that. Oh, that's crazy.

[Mike]

Couldn't even get a.

[Behan]

Or room.

[Mike]

They like that. Don't need no or room. It did a surgery right here.

[Caller 3]

The worst thing is there were two. Two male doctors there, and, bro, they just grabbed my.

[Caller 1]

My.

[Caller 3]

My tip with their.

[Behan]

Because they was frustrated, bro. You was in there. That's why

[Caller 3]

was embarrassing, bro. That's a manhood, bro.

[Mike]

Yeah, man.

[Pat]

You good now? That never happened again.

[Caller 3]

No, no, it never happened again. But I was like, you got to start six months without.

[Pat]

Without.

[Behan]

Yeah, bro. Just. You gotta start eating it a little bit, bro.

[Pat]

Ease into it, man.

[Behan]

Yeah.

[Caller 3]

Oh, I was.

[Behan]

I was.

[Caller 1]

I was.

[Behan]

But you should have known the first stroke that it wasn't there, bro. Yeah, yeah. If your is ripping.

[Caller 3]

I was laid down and she was like. She. She didn't even, like, tease it or anything. She just sat down with it.

[Behan]

I felt.

[Caller 3]

I felt the tear immediately, but adrenaline,

[Behan]

it's some hearty knowing.

[Mike]

Knowing your dick just ripped and then you still go for a couple more puns.

[Behan]

And I hope that was an authentic woman too, bro.

[Caller 3]

Yeah, she was overly freaked out, man.

[Behan]

You could have had a.

[Mike]

Hey, get that.

[Behan]

Could have had a Euro.

[Caller 3]

Because the thing is, she was. She had nice personality. And since I was like.

[Pat]

Nice. You said a nice, right?

[Behan]

She ain't his personality.

[Mike]

Madea goes to Belgium

[Behan]

in a sundress.

[Mike]

Oh, man.

[Caller 3]

Can I ask one more thing?

[Pat]

Yeah, go ahead.

[Caller 3]

So I've been trying to look for this podcast, but I can't find it. It's. It was a dude, like, talking about this story about getting jumped and how his mom told him to get. Get back, and so he did. And I wanted to re. Listen to it, but I can't find it, man.

[Pat]

It's like asking us.

[Mike]

You asking us. We don't know either. It's like episode 15, 16, 17.

[Caller 3]

Crazy, crazy looking, bro.

[Pat]

Just find the clip and then match the outfits to the thumbnail.

[Mike]

Nah, bro, he can't. We can't tell him to find nothing.

[Behan]

Yeah, absolutely. Y got a broad audience, bro. This is dope. This is dope.

[Caller 1]

This is dope.

[Behan]

Oh, my God.

[Pat]

It's cr.

[Mike]

Oh, my God.

[Behan]

Hi.

[Caller 2]

How are you guys?

[Behan]

Welcome.

[Pat]

Oh.

[Mike]

First of all, first of all, first of all, happy international woman's decade to you.

[Caller 2]

Oh, why, thank you.

[Mike]

All right.

[Behan]

You know, she a foreigner,

[Caller 2]

huh?

[Behan]

Go ahead, Go ahead.

[Pat]

What's your dilemma, Mimi?

[Caller 2]

So I'm kind of, like, in love with one of my co workers. I don't want to say that, but. But not in love, but, yeah, that's my dilemma.

[Pat]

In love with your coworker?

[Caller 2]

Yeah, we've been kind of having, like, a little thing back and forth. I don't know if. It's too windy, clearly.

[Behan]

Do y' all work side by side?

[Caller 2]

No, different locations, actually.

[Behan]

Oh. It don't sound like a dilemma to me.

[Pat]

What's, like, what's the problem with it is he married you?

[Caller 2]

I think he just got out of something. I legally am.

[Mike]

Oh, so you going through a divorce right now?

[Caller 2]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Y' all still live together?

[Caller 2]

No, no, no, no. But he still live with the person he's, like, ending with.

[Mike]

Oh, okay. So we don't know who.

[Pat]

This timeline's not matching up.

[Behan]

It is. It is. No, no, no. I'll fall alone. This sound like some. To my family. Family. She.

[Caller 2]

Okay.

[Behan]

Is done now. I got you, baby girl. She's. Yeah, she's done with her husband.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Behan]

He's done with his girl. He's just still there trying to lead the nest where he's at.

[Pat]

Got it. So my thing now is, my question was really the timelines matching up in the sense of, were y' all in love? Cuz love is kind of a thing that kind of takes time sometime for some people. So were y'.

[Behan]

All.

[Pat]

Did y'.

[Behan]

All.

[Pat]

Were y' all in, like, at any point, y' all were born both in a relationship?

[Caller 2]

No, no, no, no.

[Behan]

Okay.

[Caller 2]

It kind of didn't overlap. I think that my dilemma is, like, my position versus his position. Like, I shouldn't be, like, doing she.

[Behan]

She got a better position than him.

[Mike]

Is he. But is he in love, though? Cuz she said she in love.

[Caller 2]

I think he is, but he, like, one of the type of guys that, like, just. I don't know, they always be, like,

[Mike]

they like to keep his other girl

[Caller 2]

just, like, a boy.

[Behan]

No.

[Caller 2]

God, please, please, no. Okay, but, like, I think he just, like, avoided his feelings.

[Mike]

All right, so do you. So do he tell you he want to be with you?

[Caller 2]

Like, he will in some ways, but then in other ways, no, because he's like, oh, I'm just getting out of something. And I'm like, yeah, I get that.

[Mike]

But, like, he ain't just getting out of something. He in something currently.

[Behan]

Yeah, but I'm saying if you really like him, I'm gonna be honest with you.

[Caller 2]

Just stop liking him.

[Mike]

No.

[Behan]

Damn. No, I'm saying it's hard. Like, this is real shit. It's hard for somebody to get out of a relationship and hop right back into another one. So you gotta kind of respect his wishes to breathe a little bit. Don't kind of put that on him. I mean, you can't like, run from your feelings or whatever. Feelings are feelings. But if he don't wanna be in a relationship with you, don't take offense to. To that.

[Mike]

For real.

[Caller 2]

Okay, but, like, I'm not really taking offense to it because, like, I don't really want to be, like, a thing.

[Mike]

Okay, like, who said I wanted to

[Caller 2]

be in a relationship?

[Mike]

But you want to be. But you want to be exclusive, though. You just don't want to be a thing because, like, it's.

[Pat]

It's.

[Mike]

Are y'.

[Caller 3]

All.

[Mike]

Are y' all sexually active?

[Caller 2]

Honestly, like, one time it was. It's not even like a sex thing. It's like more like an emotional thing.

[Mike]

Okay, so, like, where's he spending the night? Night. At his house. With the girl?

[Behan]

Yeah.

[Caller 1]

Yeah.

[Behan]

That's where he's comfortable with where he lives.

[Pat]

So he only get dinner made?

[Mike]

He only has sex with you one time? Does he try to have sex with you?

[Behan]

Good question.

[Caller 2]

That is a good question. We just haven't, like. It just hasn't worked out.

[Pat]

What?

[Mike]

Young thug say?

[Caller 2]

We're like my schedule and his schedule just don't freaking out.

[Mike]

Something wrong with the.

[Caller 2]

We're supposed to go.

[Behan]

I just go ahead. Y' all supposed to go where?

[Caller 2]

Me?

[Behan]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Do you have kids?

[Caller 2]

Do I. Yeah, Yeah. I have one child.

[Behan]

Okay. O.

[Mike]

Does he have kids?

[Caller 2]

Yeah, but he's also a little older than me too.

[Behan]

And he got.

[Mike]

But he got kids with the woman that he in the. Wait, so he got kids outside of that household too?

[Pat]

This is a third party.

[Caller 2]

The kid was before that relationship.

[Mike]

So he got a baby mama and a current girlfriend.

[Behan]

And you and you.

[Caller 2]

I guess when you put the lineup

[Mike]

like that, this the big three year basketball coach.

[Behan]

Real ice cube.

[Mike]

Oh, man, you.

[Caller 3]

You.

[Behan]

I. I think. I think you in your own way, though, I think you should just play along, like, whatever it is and like, if you really like him, just rock out. And enjoy the moment. Like. And if it's supposed to be, it'll be. It'll come together. I promise you it'll come together, B.

[Pat]

Hank giving really good advice.

[Mike]

Nah, he didn't.

[Behan]

Nah. For real, though. Cause I think. I feel. Cause the ball is in your court. He got a lot going on.

[Caller 2]

That's true.

[Behan]

The ball is in your court.

[Caller 2]

Yeah, that's true.

[Behan]

You know what I mean? So just play it out.

[Mike]

I ain't. I ain't. I ain't going to lie to you, cuz. I got sisters. And, like, this is how I put it to them. Because, like, as a big brother, you

[Behan]

know what I mean?

[Mike]

I still got to be, you know, they best friend, but I also got to be big brother. So I would go to them and

[Caller 2]

politely say, you don't strike me as big bro.

[Mike]

I don't, but I'm about to. Right now. You're dumb as bro.

[Caller 2]

Okay.

[Mike]

That's so dumb. He got a baby mama that he

[Behan]

don't deal with, that he don't deal with.

[Mike]

But then he got a current girl that he ain't got no ties to. So what are you doing? Finishing the lease. And then he gonna come to your family,

[Caller 1]

you know.

[Mike]

What, a grim reaper?

[Behan]

No, I think she's more. She's more, like, confused and kind of disappointed. Like, damn, I'm in love with this and I can't have him to myself. Is that what it is?

[Caller 2]

Yeah, I mean, yeah, I kind of just like. But, like, I kind of want the ball in my court so I could be, like, As a controlling thing.

[Mike]

Yeah, I got it. Oh, it's like. Okay, okay.

[Behan]

She said we need to link her with your boy.

[Mike]

Oh, yeah, the boy.

[Behan]

The. The other gentleman that.

[Mike]

The Belgium.

[Behan]

No, not Belgium. Oh. Boy told his girl was going to Atlanta.

[Mike]

Oh, that'd be a perfect matchup. We gotta get you on a date. Getting show. You need more options.

[Caller 2]

Not y' all playing matchmaker.

[Mike]

We got to, cuz you. You not match with nobody right now. Whether you think so or not.

[Behan]

Yeah, go out. Get out here and date. Get out here and date, man. Get in some dms. You need to go out and enjoy yourself. And like I said, once he get his together, then y' all figure that out.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Don't waste your time with him.

[Behan]

Yeah. Go outside. Book a flight.

[Caller 2]

Oh, okay. Like, I just. I don't know. I'm not going in nobody's DMs. Like, people be in my DMs, but I'm just not really, like.

[Pat]

Yeah, respond.

[Caller 2]

I'm really into them like that.

[Mike]

This will happen when you hanging wood, fellas.

[Behan]

Yeah,

[Mike]

We telling her what to do. She's still like, no, that ain't it. He said, nah, they fixing it.

[Behan]

Respect.

[Pat]

Oh, man.

[Mike]

Now he out here.

[Behan]

Hi.

[Caller 2]

Oh, my God, I love y'. All.

[Mike]

Hey, Jean, turn her down a little bit.

[Behan]

That's. That's hard.

[Caller 2]

Hi, Jean.

[Mike]

I knew you was gonna. That's how I said, turn it down.

[Caller 2]

I love Dean. He gets hate. I love him.

[Mike]

What's. What's the worst thing you ever heard they say about Jean?

[Caller 2]

What's the worst thing. Wait, I'm sorry.

[Behan]

Repeat the question.

[Mike]

What you mean, Gene get hate? What type of hate?

[Caller 2]

You see, because I feel like don't nobody really be talking to Jean or interacting with him. He really cool as. And his comments be hitting hard. I be hearing him in the back,

[Behan]

shout out to my J.

[Pat]

J also be producing, so he gota. He gotta stay locked in.

[Behan]

Yeah.

[Caller 2]

Oh, he's our producer.

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Behan]

Oh, That's hard. You're a real. That's America's.

[Mike]

No, no, you take your hair part of y' all now take your hair out of a ponytail, girl. Keep taking.

[Pat]

I got a question for you. What's your dilemma

[Caller 2]

right now? My dilemma is that my man just basically told me two days ago that he got one of his girls that he was basically cheating on me with. With pregnant. And that's not all y'.

[Behan]

All.

[Caller 2]

He knew she's five months pregnant. Mind you, a week ago, we had a pregnancy scare. Thank the Lord. I'm not pregnant. But he couldn't tell a girl what.

[Behan]

What the.

[Caller 2]

Was going on.

[Behan]

How long have y' all been together?

[Caller 2]

We was together for, like, a good year, and then we had cut it quits for a little bit because that got problems.

[Caller 1]

For real.

[Caller 2]

That shit is not okay.

[Behan]

So he had his baby, but then, you know, he got her pregnant when y' all was on your break?

[Caller 2]

Basically, yes. Yup. And then I let him back into my life and he decided to tell me five months later.

[Behan]

Yeah, I knew that's what it was. I'm so. I'm so familiar with your story.

[Caller 2]

And he's calling me right now.

[Mike]

Yo, he calling you right now?

[Caller 2]

Yes.

[Mike]

You gonna take him back?

[Behan]

The ball is in your court, queen.

[Caller 2]

No, no, I can'.

[Caller 3]

I can't.

[Pat]

No, you shouldn't.

[Mike]

Wait, so how far along is she right now?

[Behan]

Five months.

[Pat]

She's.

[Caller 2]

Yeah, she's five months.

[Mike]

Oh, you just found this out?

[Caller 2]

Yes, two days ago.

[Mike]

How you know this?

[Behan]

She said, I'm listening. And I had a little shit. They said it.

[Mike]

How the he know everything.

[Behan]

I'm listening. I'm so familiar.

[Mike]

I'm locked in for real with this one now. That's crazy. Are you okay?

[Caller 2]

No. Thank you for asking me that.

[Mike]

Nah, you know what I'm saying. The fell. The fellas weren't worri. You I've been worried about your mental. Everybody. Like it's times like this where we got to pull together as a community, you know. Ladies, Ladies.

[Caller 2]

No, no, I'm not being that village.

[Mike]

Oh no.

[Behan]

So what is your. What is your. What is your plans now right now?

[Caller 2]

Honestly? Because he told me because he was like, yeah, that he got her pregnant, but, oh, I'm still in love with you. I still want to be with you. Da da da da.

[Caller 1]

Yeah.

[Caller 2]

And I'm like, you know, I like this is my. Like this has been one of my good friends. Like we was friends all throughout high school basically, and then we got together after high school. So this is if no going off attraction and this is, this is straight like this is real life feeling. I feel like.

[Behan]

Yeah, and you probably got. You probably got stability. You probably got a good job.

[Caller 2]

Yes, I work. I work a full time job in a warehouse right now. Now I'm just honestly trying to get my together. Yeah, you safe home.

[Behan]

You got a good home. Yeah.

[Caller 2]

Yes.

[Behan]

And you ain't trying to think you gonna take me back is because y' all probably got a real vibe too. Like, you know what I mean? It sound like you really in love with him and that really tore you up. When you finally had a baby on

[Pat]

the way, did you feel like you could change him?

[Caller 2]

Yeah. No, honestly, not like I'm not gonna say I feel like I could change him. I feel like over time and if he really wants to change and be a man, then that's exactly what he's gonna do. And I've been seeing the change. I've been seeing the change. And don't get me wrong, like I've seen the change. And he said like, you know, he get his together exactly right.

[Behan]

But, but, but I think you gonna be on some real. I think you gonna be a great star. Good mom.

[Caller 2]

Oh my God.

[Pat]

No, you do. You have a really good.

[Behan]

You care for real.

[Caller 2]

What pissed me really off is that we have a cat together. So you want to raise a cat with me and then trade that in for a real family?

[Behan]

We'll trade in a cat for a real family. Yeah, you. And Garfield can get the fuck.

[Caller 2]

He's black.

[Behan]

Okay. Respect.

[Pat]

Oh, man. Okay.

[Mike]

She got a black cat that makes.

[Behan]

She gonna take him back. He gonna have that baby. He gonna go to the baby shower, get him a Burberry shirt.

[Caller 2]

No, I told him. Like, I told him. I'm like, I'm not. I'm not evil. I'm not gonna just up and leave

[Caller 1]

because you have a kid.

[Caller 2]

You know, life happens. But the minute that you have that baby and she ain't, you know, he in your arms, nigga, I gots to step back.

[Pat]

Oh, so y'. All. Y' all still together right now, bro? Okay, currently.

[Caller 2]

No.

[Behan]

Yeah.

[Mike]

When the last time. When the last time he was over two days ago.

[Caller 2]

Two days ago?

[Behan]

Yeah.

[Mike]

I told you, bro.

[Caller 2]

He didn't come inside, though, y'.

[Behan]

All.

[Caller 2]

He didn't come inside?

[Behan]

No, but. No.

[Mike]

Okay, when the last time y' all had sex?

[Behan]

Two days ago?

[Caller 2]

No, actually, about a month ago. Around my birthday.

[Mike]

Okay. It was two days ago.

[Behan]

Yeah, you know it was, bro.

[Mike]

A remix, actually, my birthday. No, that was the last time y had meaningful sex.

[Behan]

That's the last time. We told you. I love you. Happy birthday. Stop looking at

[Mike]

that. That been crying during sex. You see what we can have now. That's crazy. Yeah. Let us know when y' all back together so we can interview both of y'.

[Behan]

All. The first.

[Caller 2]

Oh, you are so funny. I do mean to come out because y' all gonna be in Boston, I think, April 14th.

[Behan]

Bring him with.

[Mike]

Yes.

[Caller 2]

I make y'.

[Behan]

All.

[Caller 2]

I'm making a mission to see y'. All. I promise you, y' all gonna see my face in that crowd.

[Mike]

Hey, that's perfect. I'mma bring some Pampers for you, step mommy, so you can have some baby sh.

[Behan]

Yeah, Bring it to the show. For sure. Make sure my. Hold up. Put it on that food.

[Mike]

You basically his agent now.

[Behan]

Basically.

[Mike]

Oh, God, baby, you got a baby shower at five.

[Behan]

Yeah. Go get that cake from Sam's club.

[Mike]

Come on, we're going.

[Behan]

All right, you have.

[Mike]

You got the number one draft pick right now.

[Caller 2]

I was about to say before we end, I've been rocking with y' all since day one. I love y' all podcast, which I've been doing. I hope y. I go up for real.

[Mike]

Now you see? Now you see what it's like to have a loyal in your life.

[Behan]

You know, we never going to turn against you.

[Caller 2]

Oh, I really needed this. Thank y' all so much.

[Pat]

We both.

[Mike]

We both might have a baby on you, so it might traumatize you a little bit.

[Pat]

What a.

[Behan]

That sounded crazy. Turkey mic.

[Mike]

In the chat.

[Behan]

All right, have a good one.

[Caller 2]

You, too.

[Caller 1]

Bye.

[Mike]

That Boston show, that bus sell out behind.

[Pat]

We. Thanks for coming through, brother.

[Behan]

N. Hell yeah, man.

[Pat]

I appreciate we trying to make this work for. For a minute now.

[Behan]

Hell yeah.

[Mike]

Yeah. Hell yeah.

[Behan]

Got good peoples, bro. I appreciate y'. All.

[Mike]

Anything you want to shout out. I know you already got a platform,

[Behan]

but not really, man. Shout out to y'. All. You know what I'm saying? Driving down here like, I. I'm really tied in with y', all, man. Y' all don't know how what this mean to me, for real, that y' all come down here and want to, you know what I mean, work with me. And that's big for me, bro. So I'm appreciate you tenfold. And anytime y' all in the city, you in the whole game. I got y'. All.

[Mike]

Oh, shout out your uncle.

[Behan]

Yeah. Shout out to my uncle. Goddamn it, Curtis. Shout out to Rock. Shout out to Derek. Shout out to my baby Dookie. Shout out to my podcast family. My Mike, Jeff, DJ Bart.

[Pat]

How did baby Dookie get his name?

[Behan]

From his daddy. His daddy was a og. His daddy used to run the street, so that was just a hood name.

[Mike]

Yeah, I'm already hip. You the thing about they only give names like that to niggas that's, like, connected, cuz. They know, like, we want to make fun of you.

[Behan]

So we go get on they ass,

[Mike]

we going to name this Dookie, send them to school. I guarantee we get some action out of this.

[Behan]

Hell yeah. Hell yeah.

[Mike]

N. Shout out to. Shout out to everybody, buddy.

[Pat]

All right. That's been the pod. Happy birth.

[Mike]

Oh, Happy birthday to my mom. Shout out to my mom, Queen love you. That's. That's the pod. Subscribe.

[Behan]

Nigeria, too.

[Pat]

Yeah, could it get a whole episode?

[Behan]

Real twining.

[Mike]

Go get those live tickets, though. Go get those live tickets. Footage coming soon so y' all can see, too.

[Pat]

All that.

[Behan]

All right.

[Pat]

Merch. Peace.

[Mike]

Peace. Close your eyes.

[Caller 2]

Exhale.

[Behan]

Feel your body relax.

[Caller 2]

And let go of whatever you're carrying today. Well, I'm letting go of the worry that I wouldn't get my new contacts in time for this class. I got them delivered free from 1-800-contacts. Oh, my gosh. They're so fast.

[Mike]

And breathe.

[Behan]

Oh, sorry.

[Caller 2]

I almost couldn't breathe when I saw the discount they gave me on my first order. Oh, sorry. Namaste. Visit 1-800-contacts.com today to save on your first order.

[Behan]

1-800-contacts.

[Mike]

Lifelock. How can I help?

[Caller 2]

The IRS said I filed my return but I haven't.

[Pat]

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[Caller 2]

What do I do? My refund though. I'm freaking out.

[Mike]

Don't worry, I can fix this.

[Pat]

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[Caller 2]

I'm so relieved.

[Behan]

No problem.

[Mike]

I'll be with with you every step of the way.

[Pat]

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[Behan]

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[Pat]

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