Take The Glove Off - Episode 259

Summary

Crash Dummies Podcast — "Take The Glove Off" (Episode 259, May 20, 2026)

Hosts: Patrick Johnson & Michael Esiobu (with guests Carrie Nani & Jean Michelle)
Theme: Casual, comedic dive into current events, wild scenarios, pop culture, relationships, and social dynamics—with heavy audience participation via call-ins and Q&A.

---

Overview

In this energetic, banter-heavy episode, Pat, Mike, and recurring guests Carrie and Jean host a freewheeling conversation, dissecting odd hypothetical dilemmas, controversial moments in comedy, the impact of social media on music and public opinion, relationship conundrums, streaming culture, and viral incidents. The show leans into irreverent, unfiltered dialogue with listeners calling in—often bringing up wild or deeply personal questions—while the hosts riff with plenty of jokes and candid takes.

---

Major Discussion Segments & Highlights

1. "You Be the Judge" — Hypothetical Dilemmas

[00:53–03:32]

• Scenario: "Would you rather give your ex a ride to work twice a week forever, or review your 20 wildest texts with your mom?"
• Everyone except Patrick opts for the texts.
• Memorable moment: Carrie clarifies: “When you said wildest text, I thought it was like, very, like, sexual texts.” (02:11)
• Pat shares he’s “not a sexual texting” person and would rather drive the ex than risk embarrassing family text reveals.

2. Names, Doxxing, & Sports-Nickname Culture

[04:01–05:31]

• Humorous discomfort over using full last names and being “doxxed.”
• Carrie shares that in college sports, last names are commonly used: “It’s just a sports thing. Like, sports, when you’re in sports, you get called by your last name...” (05:12)

3. Live Show Announcements

[05:31–06:34]

• Detroit show on May 31st, Toronto shows nearly sold out; appeals for local recommendations.
• Playful Summer Walker singalong to compete with her concert: “We get y’all Summer Walker during the show. We gonna do three Summer Walker songs.” (05:52)

---

4. Kevin Hart Netflix Roast & Comedy Boundaries

[06:52–14:09]

• Mixed feelings on the Kevin Hart roast: praised as a cultural comedic tradition but criticized for crossing lines (esp. Tony Hinchcliffe’s George Floyd joke).
• Jean: “We don’t appreciate comedians enough for ... telling jokes on each other but still have respect for one another...” (07:20)
• Carrie: “It didn’t sound like jokes. This sounds like how you really feel.” (07:57)
• Pat: “He just hasn’t proved enough to tell that joke. ... If Kevin Hart said the shit, I’d just be looking at him like, what the fuck are you talking about too?” (08:15)
• Discuss how social media intensifies backlash compared to Comedy Central’s more niche audience.
• Notes difference between dark humor as a comedic device vs. potential mask for real problematic views.

---

5. Drake’s New Album & The Nature of Critique

[14:09–19:58]

• Hosts discuss polarized reactions to new Drake music and the phenomenon of instant social media hot takes.
• “You see somebody that don’t like Drake be like, this is why this is bad. Just shut up and press play. Or don’t.” (Patrick, 15:18)
• Reflection on how time and context change album appreciation (“Take Care” was initially criticized but now beloved).
• Carrie: “When I first heard Non Stop… I didn’t like it until I heard it outside.” (19:58–20:05)
• Discussion about using Drake lyrics as Instagram captions and stories.

---

6. Social Media Etiquette

[20:37–22:43]

• Debate: should you comment the same emoji (e.g., fire) as everyone else on a friend's pic?
• Patrick: “You gotta post it on your story... can’t even comment. Gotta collab with this.” (21:07)
• Funny stories about being randomly tagged in boat party IG stories.

---

7. Q&A Callers & Relationship Scenarios

Sex Worker "Client Quality" Question

[22:53–25:40]

• Is a ‘good client’ for a sex worker one who is quick and “bad” or one who is “good”?
• Carrie: “There are ... for some of them, it might be easy.” (25:20)
• Carrie+Pat debate whether sex work is driven by passion or practicality.

The Pegging "Block Method"

[28:55–34:19]

• Caller claims strategy to avoid pegging by adding conditions (“If you gotta peg me, you gotta eat it first.” 30:11)
• Hosts roast him, joke that this is not a block, but a form of foreplay.
• Carrie: “Why can’t you just tell her no?” (31:09)
• Pat: “Why is this dude telling us this?” (31:13)

---

Bedazzled Clothes & Club Fashion

[34:23–39:21]

• Caller (“fender fellas ass men”) rails against men wearing sparkly clothes—“Their pants be tighter than mine. We both can't be bad bitches.” (34:44, 35:29)
• Hosts admit to owning/wearing some bedazzled items, discuss evolving fashion tastes with age.

---

Couples Clubbing & Insecurity

[39:30–43:58]

• Caller PSA: “Couples need to stop going to the club together... clublife is not a relationship thing.” (39:33)
• Pat identifies insecurity at play—fear of others eyeing his girlfriend.
• Carrie: “Once you get with somebody, that’s just your preference... but you can’t control everything.” (41:54–42:15)

---

Bad Sex Self-Assessment

[44:08–48:09]

• Caller confesses: “I be dropping terrible dick ... foreplay is a 10/10, the dick was horrible...”
• Hosts (and caller) joke candidly about receiving this kind of “feedback loop.”
• Carrie: “If you know you’re bad at something, why are you trying to overachieve with three people?” (47:59)

---

Getting Ghosted at the Club

[49:45–61:13]

• Caller describes meeting “amazing girl” at club, getting ghosted after unreciprocated texts/weeks.
• Pat: “Women give their number away at a club for sport. This is a game.” (54:24)
• Hosts caution about club “romance” reality; advice to not take ghosting personally in the nightlife context.

---

Family Dynamics—Why Dad Cheated?

[62:34–67:55]

• Caller (on side of road, awaiting tow): “My mom is the reason my dad cheated.”
• Pat and Carrie urge the caller to see multiple sides, not take parents’ breakup too personally, and appreciate mom’s sacrifices: “You nothing without her, you broke ass... go give her a hug.” (67:36)

---

8. Tweets of the Week & Club Culture

• Dark humor tweet: “If your baby is ugly, I’m not hiding my cigarette around it.” (69:10)
• Joking about discovering co-host’s secret asthma at random moments.
• Clubs should be separated by class—middle-class only club would be wild (“Nobody want to see you dropping $80k in front of me, bossman!” 72:51)

---

9. Dr. Cheyenne Bryant Scandal (Credential Controversy)

[74:06–80:15]

• Debate whether life coaches or psychology “experts” without degrees/licenses should call themselves “doctor.”
• Carrie: “Anybody can get their transcripts.” (75:13)
• Jean: “If you’re giving somebody advice—as a profession—you should have some sort of license for it.” (76:24)

---

10. Viral Streamers & Dangerous Trends

[92:22–97:22]

• Discussion of "Chud the Builder,” a racist streamer arrested after provoking a shooting incident:
  “You can’t live life to that extreme every day and expect nothing to happen.” (93:50)
• Hosts warn about social consequences of reckless "content" and fake activism: “Freedom of speech isn’t freedom of consequences.” (97:02)

---

11. (Quick Hits)

• AP x Swatch collab: Debated if luxury brands collaborating with mass-market dilutes prestige.
• Fighting at product releases (shoes/watches): “The people fighting usually don’t even own the originals; it’s just elitism.” (98:49)

---

Notable Quotes

• Pat (on comedy boundaries): “There’s no person on earth where I’d be like, that [George Floyd] joke would sound better coming out of their mouth.” (08:15)
• Carrie (on relationship clubbing): “If you already know you’re bad at something... why are you trying to overachieve with three people?” (47:59)
• Pat (on club romance): “Women give their number away at a club for sport... this is a game.” (54:24)
• Patrick (on dark humor): “It’s just how you feel laughing.” (14:05)
• Jean (on Dr. Bryant): “If you’re giving somebody advice and you’re doing it for your profession, you should have some sort of license for it.” (76:24)
• Patrick (on freedom of speech): “Freedom of speech isn’t freedom of consequences.” (97:03)
• Carrie (to clubbing friend): “Your sister should have told you this, not us, man.” (55:30)

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Hypothetical Dilemma Game: 00:53–03:32
• Kevin Hart Netflix roast: 06:52–14:09
• Drake album/Instagram culture: 14:09–19:58
• Dr. Cheyenne Bryant “fake doctor” scandal: 74:06–80:15
• “Chud the Builder” streamer shooting discussion: 92:22–97:22
• Caller—Ghosted after the club: 49:45–61:13
• Caller—Family breakup & blame: 62:34–67:55

---

Tone and Style

The episode is loose, playful, and raw with a heavy dose of playful roasting between hosts and callers. Serious subjects (e.g., race, relationships, cancel culture) are tackled with levity but also considered insight. The show's authenticity shines in the rapid tone shifts: from deep dives on comedy or family trauma to goofy asides about bedazzled shirts, IG etiquette, or club nights gone wrong.

---

Useful Takeaways

• Don’t take club numbers as promises of romance; nightlife is its own game.
• There’s a line between dark humor and outright offense—context and intent matter.
• Instant social media reactions rarely yield nuanced music or pop culture critique.
• Self-awareness and honesty are recurring comedic themes—regarding sex, dating, or family matters.
• Influencer/streamer behaviors have real-world consequences.
• Question self-styled “experts” who duck basic credential verification.

---

Crash Dummies Podcast’s Episode 259 is a chaotic, hilarious, and often insightful snapshot of now: internet culture, modern communication, shifting boundaries, and the real problems (and fun) of dating, clout, and chasing a good time.

Transcript

[Patrick Johnson]

This episode is brought to you by Netflix. The Four Seasons is back for season two. Starring Tina Fey, Will Forte, Colman Domingo, Marco Calvani, Carrie, Kenny Silver, and Erika Henningsen. After a difficult year, your favorite group of friends continues their tradition of vacationing together, now with a baby in tow. From the Jersey shore to upstate New York and Italy, their getaways are sure to take unexpected turns where comedy ensues. Watch the Four Seasons May 28th only on Netflix. Folks knew the colonel approved of his new honey, chili crisp and jalapeno ranch sauces the moment he tasted them and said, that's right. No notes, just absolute silence. Turns out some flavors don't need explaining. They just need dipping.

[Caller/Guest]

It's saucy season at KFC with new

[Patrick Johnson]

honey chili crisp and jalapeno ranch. Get dipping with a boneless bucket today. Prices and participation vary. I want to try something different. We going to start the pod off with you be the judge. And we. We did this concept. Maybe y' all seen it on Patreon. Maybe y' all haven't. You be the judge. I give you two scenarios, and you explain to me why you're taking that scenario over the other one. So it's either give your ex a ride to work two times a week for the rest of your life or have your top 20 wildest text messages be displayed on a big screen, and you have to review each one of

[Carrie Nani]

them with your mom just once.

[Caller/Guest]

Just one time.

[Carrie Nani]

Oh, I'm doing the text messages.

[Patrick Johnson]

Okay. Text, text.

[Jean Michelle]

Yes.

[Patrick Johnson]

What you doing? I did a text. You doing a text, too? Yeah. Now I got to do the. I just pick up my ex. Why? I don't want to lose my. I don't want to lose my mom.

[Carrie Nani]

So, you guys, that. Is that wild?

[Patrick Johnson]

No, I literally say, I want to kill my mom before.

[Carrie Nani]

Oh, I think like that wild.

[Patrick Johnson]

I text that sister, she. Losing your mind. You're losing yourself. I was, like, 17. She stole my game.

[Carrie Nani]

I was like the.

[Patrick Johnson]

You know, I texted my sister, like, she's gone.

[Carrie Nani]

I really must have been on some freak, because when you said wildest text, I thought it was, like, very, like, sexual text.

[Patrick Johnson]

I'm not a sexual texting.

[Carrie Nani]

That's why I was like. That's why I was like, that's fine.

[Patrick Johnson]

It's hard for me to get into that because I would say when I

[Carrie Nani]

was younger, I was like, there's like, there's still. Sometimes you like, but it's your shot.

[Caller/Guest]

Like that.

[Patrick Johnson]

It just throw me off, though. It's, like, too much that can go wrong. It's just like. Like, yeah, you turning me on, but this a run on sentence, baby girl. I don't like it. Where's the commas at? Imagine having to drop your ex off twice a week though. I'd be cool just getting up late on purpose. Like, fuck it.

[Jean Michelle]

That's how you in a relationship.

[Carrie Nani]

Yeah, that's how she doesn't become your ex again.

[Patrick Johnson]

That's so messy. Your girl got to sit in the back seat

[Carrie Nani]

in a month just because the same rules we just.

[Patrick Johnson]

You got to keep your hand on her thigh to make sure she. She swiped your head away. The. God, I gotta do this.

[Carrie Nani]

The up part in the scenario, your current girlfriend could soon become that passenger.

[Patrick Johnson]

Damn, that be crazy. You might thinking ahead. You keep playing, it's gonna be you. Nobody's gonna keep that attitude of it. You'll be sitting here, she'll be gone.

[Caller/Guest]

Yo, yo.

[Carrie Nani]

That's not what we doing.

[Patrick Johnson]

Hello.

[Carrie Nani]

The radio is for people who are driving.

[Caller/Guest]

I'll drive them.

[Carrie Nani]

Welcome to Crash Dummies podcast. Anyway, welcome to crash dummies, episode 259. And we got Carrie here, we got Jean here, we got Patrick Johnson here.

[Patrick Johnson]

Bro, you're so weird. You're so weird.

[Carrie Nani]

What?

[Patrick Johnson]

What? Why are you my whole name?

[Carrie Nani]

I don't. I don't even know car's last name off the top of my head.

[Patrick Johnson]

It's Nani, Juice,

[Jean Michelle]

Michelle. Follow it.

[Patrick Johnson]

Don't do. You don't want to dox yourself like that, do you? What's your. Do I want to what? What's your last name?

[Jean Michelle]

Oh, no, I'm not doing that.

[Patrick Johnson]

Okay. That's all. Do people know. People know your last name? They probably do. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Carrie Nani]

And people.

[Patrick Johnson]

People definitely know your last name.

[Carrie Nani]

I don't think I've ever said my last name out loud.

[Patrick Johnson]

You don't say your last name at all.

[Carrie Nani]

Okay, Yeah, I don't want that. I want them to keep saying it wrong.

[Patrick Johnson]

No, the. My biggest thing. Shout out to my guy. Shout out to my guy, Amar. But my biggest thing is when people are under pressure and they have to say his name and they never said it before because there's no reason to say somebody's last name, but you can know it. But to say it out loud and talk it, you don't really say it that much. So when somebody has a complicated last name, you never said it before, and you have to introduce them as that. Boy, you about to butcher the fuck out that name.

[Carrie Nani]

Oh, man. It's different though, because in college Everybody called me by my last name, so it was like. It's just a sports thing. Like, sports. When you're in sports, you get called by your last name the whole time,

[Patrick Johnson]

even in, like, younger ages in school

[Carrie Nani]

and stuff like that, especially having a common first name. Once you. Once I say it the first time, everybody would, like, kind of understand it.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah.

[Carrie Nani]

But anyway, tour May 31st. We're gonna be in Detroit. All right, get your tickets. I know Summer Walker is the same day, but y' all got. We will. What path you're gonna sing the song.

[Caller/Guest]

Come on.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah, yeah, what?

[Carrie Nani]

Sing the song.

[Patrick Johnson]

Do where your love letters.

[Carrie Nani]

I. Yeah.

[Patrick Johnson]

Make you feel better.

[Carrie Nani]

Come on.

[Patrick Johnson]

We get y'.

[Caller/Guest]

All.

[Patrick Johnson]

Summer Walker. During the show. We get. What we gonna do. Three Summer Walker songs.

[Carrie Nani]

Yeah, we got you.

[Patrick Johnson]

We got you. We got booty. We can't replace it.

[Jean Michelle]

No, I'm just taking on.

[Patrick Johnson]

That's so crazy. You going to get us in trouble. Your husband going to come in here. Hey, hey, hey.

[Carrie Nani]

This.

[Patrick Johnson]

How you going to see on our screen? Hey, don't knock over the camera.

[Carrie Nani]

The camera just start moving this car right down the hall.

[Patrick Johnson]

Do this with no podcast, but make sure.

[Carrie Nani]

Make sure y' all get the tickets. Toronto tickets are almost sold out. The second show. The first show already sold out. So grab your tickets. Toronto as well. And our Toronto people. Let us know where to go. Yeah, we're in Toronto.

[Patrick Johnson]

Please let us know early. Don't give us no places just so we can meet you. We not on that type of time. I'm not going to lie. Like, give us some places where you like. This is an amazing experience. I've heard about it or I've been there. Please, please, please. We're not trying to meet up with you.

[Carrie Nani]

What we got for the first time?

[Patrick Johnson]

First. Oh, we can talk about recently. Obviously, it's passed a little bit, but we haven't talked about it on the podcast. Kevin Hart had his roast comedy special on Netflix with an array of comedians ranging from Shane Gillis to Tony Hitchcliff. Tony Hitchcliff, the Rock. Anybody you can think of. Katt Williams came out for a surprise. What did y' all take away from the roast?

[Carrie Nani]

I let Carrie go first.

[Jean Michelle]

Yeah. I thought that the roast was. I personally thought that it was good. I thought that it made me think that we don't appreciate comedians enough and for their sense of humor and how they are able to kind of just tell jokes on each other but still have respect for one another. And I think that's something that's lost today. But at the same time, I do understand all the backlash from it. I'm not gonna lie.

[Carrie Nani]

Yeah. I think obviously the biggest backlash is from Tony Hinchcliffe.

[Jean Michelle]

Yes.

[Carrie Nani]

And the George Floyd joke. And I think when you hear racist jokes, right, it. I think the thing that kind of makes me feel that calm sometimes, just like, okay, that person is not really like that.

[Caller/Guest]

Right.

[Carrie Nani]

That person is not. But when you can sense that this person might be a little racist in real time. So this might not. These don't sound like jokes. This sounds like how you really feel. I think it kind of can rub people the wrong way. I thought he was doing pretty good up to that point.

[Jean Michelle]

But did he write those himself? Because I know they had writers.

[Carrie Nani]

No, he's a comedian, so I'm pretty sure he wrote something even if they

[Patrick Johnson]

don't write it themselves. He still saw the shit. You know what I mean? Like, he's still like. He just hasn't proved enough to tell that joke. I don't think anybody has to be honest. So it's just like, there's no person on earth where I'd be like, that would sound better coming out of their mouth. If Kevin Hart said the shit, I'd just be looking at him like, what the are you talking about too? And so it was just weird.

[Carrie Nani]

Also, too, George Floyd is like a regular, like, just a regular person, not famous for anything. So like, when you kind of like, when you're making fun of, like, famous people's like, death or something like that, there's at least like, there's. There's that sense of popularity, like, they're well known. You're saying this thing is like, he's well known for, you know, something terrible that happened to him. So it's like, I don't know.

[Patrick Johnson]

There's also.

[Carrie Nani]

It was just low hanging fruit, too.

[Patrick Johnson]

There's also other people. And also, like, this is what rubbed me the wrong way. If that was Donald Trump's roast or if that was anybody that was like, white roast, would he have said that? Or would he know, like, Kevin Hart has a black room? So I'm gonna say a George Floyd joke because it's gonna be more controversial.

[Carrie Nani]

He might have because he already said something about, like, Puerto Rico being a shit show at the Republican convention as a joke. And so, like, I feel like he would probably would have found a way to loop it in.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah. But if it's not like, that's what

[Carrie Nani]

comedy is, I might have went off there.

[Patrick Johnson]

That is not. But that's not what comedy is. But that's what comedy tries to do. Like, if you walk away from a comedy event not kind of semi offended, then the comedians sometimes feel like they didn't do their job.

[Carrie Nani]

Yeah. Especially a rose. I get the premise of a roast, and I don't know. I think.

[Patrick Johnson]

I think it was. I think.

[Carrie Nani]

I think it was pretty good.

[Patrick Johnson]

I think there should have just been more black comedians, you know, I'm saying. And we probably wouldn't have been offended by the jokes. You know what I'm saying?

[Carrie Nani]

I thought. Yeah, I thought it was pretty good,

[Patrick Johnson]

kind of mixed genre.

[Carrie Nani]

It just. It just seemed like some of those jokes up there, it didn't seem like they liked each other for, like, the Chelsea Handler and the Tony HLF stuff. It didn't really like it sound like there was real beef behind their word.

[Jean Michelle]

Definitely is with Tony because of, I believe, his political views, for sure. But, you know, my thing is, I had to think about it like this. Okay. Back in the day, comedians always used to say extremely racist jokes all the time. From the 70s, 80s, 90s. Right. But I want to say, when that was happening back then, it was more so in a. In a space where people knew that that's what was going to happen and they expected it, and it wasn't going to go viral for everybody else to nitpick, if that's not really your niche of comedy that you like. But now with social media, I think everything kind of is heightened. Ye in a sense, and you can pick it apart. And whether or not you are for a roast like that or you're not, you feel like you have to give your two cents, and it just kind of blows things out of proportion. Not talking about the George Floyd part, because I thought that that was completely disgusting. But just the other racist jokes, I'm

[Carrie Nani]

like, I didn't really get the Cheryl one either, though. Like, they were saying she was so dark. I don't think she's that dark skinned, though.

[Patrick Johnson]

That's just Rose, though. I'm just saying.

[Carrie Nani]

It was just funny saying that with Draymond Green, who's like the same complexion.

[Patrick Johnson]

They made a joke of them together, too. Somebody did, yeah.

[Carrie Nani]

It was like a shape, but I feel Draymond was darker than her.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah, but she's more. She's more popular. They probably didn't know Draymond was gonna be there. Exactly. But the other thing I was gonna say is them even having a roast on Netflix is what's crazy overall. You talk about the social media. Yeah, that's the last point of it. That's A really good point. But the other point is, like, it should never even reach Netflix because it used to be on Comedy Central.

[Carrie Nani]

Exactly. Netflix, though, huh? They did the Tom Brady on Netflix.

[Patrick Johnson]

I know that's when I got corporate, but that's what I'm saying. That's when it began to get corporate. I'm saying the old school roles with like Jeff Ross and all them, they on Comedy Central. That's one like Comedy Central. The type of thing, like if you 12, 13, if your mom walks in and you're watching Comedy Central, she might tell you to change the channel.

[Jean Michelle]

Right?

[Patrick Johnson]

Right. But if I'm on Netflix, I'm a kid or if I'm in a family room now, all these people have access to something that's super dark humor that used to behind. Be behind like a. Like a hidden channel, basically. Exactly why all those people were like sitting on the stage, who didn't. Probably didn't even say nothing. There was a lot of Netflix.

[Carrie Nani]

There was a lot of on stage. Was on stage.

[Patrick Johnson]

Everybody you've seen on there is just somebody that you know has a special on Netflix.

[Carrie Nani]

But with Netflix, though, you have the choice to watch it, though.

[Jean Michelle]

Yeah.

[Carrie Nani]

So that's why, like, I can't even, like even I thought it was okay. I didn't, I didn't hate it, but it's like I chose to watch it.

[Jean Michelle]

But then you don't have a choice. If you're just seeing clips on Social.

[Carrie Nani]

That's. That's when you don't have a choice.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yes, yes, I believe that's. That's the ultimate no choice. Right? You scrolling and you don't have a choice. You like? Damn, I see Cat Williams. What's Cat Williams doing? You might see your favorite comedian. I get that. But Netflix is still there a little bit. Not as much. You still got to click on it. But if I'm on Netflix and I'm seeing like, all I do is watch rom coms, right? And I get suggestions from my rom coms, my TV shows, my Grey's Anatomies. I stay on that side, but right above it, it says roast. And I see Kevin Hart, and I like, recognize Kevin Hart as a person. Same thing with Tom Brady. I recognize Tom Brady as a person and I click on it. A lot of people don't know what they getting themselves into. Even like a roast, if you hear it and you get the concept of it, you don't know that people go that dark and they've always been that dark.

[Carrie Nani]

But you can also get yourself out of it. Like with like.

[Patrick Johnson]

But you just said. But you just said that Tony had the thing and he was doing well until that joke.

[Carrie Nani]

Yeah. And then at that point, if I didn't want to watch any more from that point, I can just click backspace.

[Patrick Johnson]

But you heard it, though.

[Carrie Nani]

I heard it.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's what I'm saying.

[Carrie Nani]

But I think. I think I'm okay hearing things I don't like as well and just kind of like, moving on from that.

[Jean Michelle]

I understand that everything is not going to be for me, but it's going to be for somebody else. And there's somebody out there who really likes dark humor. You know, it might be a fetish.

[Caller/Guest]

I don't know.

[Jean Michelle]

You know, like, people getting off on the weird joke. Yeah, but I don't know.

[Carrie Nani]

I just think something. Some comedians use the dark humor as a mask, though, to, like, as their. And that's the thing I don't like. It's like, try to be funny without, like, saying that type of joke. If I've seen you been funny, like, multiple ways, it's like, okay, now it's funny when you kind of do that dark humor. But when you're just like, dark, dark, dark, dark, dark, dirty, it's just like, this is not humor anymore.

[Patrick Johnson]

It's just how you feel laughing, like.

[Carrie Nani]

Yeah.

[Patrick Johnson]

Especially if it's a comedian that does it way better than you. And it's like, okay, Shane Gillis is a dark humor person and he kind of teeters on a lie of, like, racism, right? And it's like, he didn't. He doesn't get as much backlash as Tony does. And it's like, oh, he tells his jokes better and he knows where. It's like, you can't go into certain deep waters. Like, why the fuck do you have a. There's so many other jokes. There's so many other dead people. There's so many. Like, bro, talk about your grandpa, nigga. Like, why the fuck you talking about George Floyd? Let's dig that nigga up. No, I'm just saying, though. But that's dark humor to him, right? Let's dig your granddad up. It's just a joke. He can't say bro. Oh, man. I guess we'll move on to more major news. Drake dropped the album just recently, and I just want to say this. Just one. Well, he dropped three. Ice, ice, ice. It's just funny, like, when people do or don't like an artist, what excuses they'll make or not make for that artist.

[Carrie Nani]

Yeah.

[Patrick Johnson]

That's all it is. It's just like, you'll see somebody that's a super fan of Drake. They'll just be like, this is why this is good. This is why this is good. And you see somebody that don't like Drake to be like, this is why this is bad. And just like, bro, just shut up and press play. Or don't. You know what I mean?

[Carrie Nani]

But that's the point of art, though. I think art is put out there too. Especially when you put art out into the public. It's like you have to expect the critique that comes with it. And the fanfare too.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah.

[Jean Michelle]

I just feel like the algorithm messes with so much because people who probably don't even care about Drake like that or probably like to listen to him when they alone themselves, don't talk the most crap about them on social. Just for the likes and the clicks and the engagement and that's so weird to me.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah, I mean, you. You get clicks and likes for going either way too much. Like, I get, like. I feel like. I don't feel like I'm in the middle. I really, really like the album, but I also get on TikTok and I hear people, like, doing too much, and I feel like they're antagonizing the people that might not even listen to the album. You like, they like online. Like, this album is better. The best album that's ever dropped in music history. And the nigga that's a Michael Jackson f. Shut your ass up. You know what I mean? Like, and it's just like, okay, take Glove Off. The think he's my. Take the Glove off might be top five ever said

[Carrie Nani]

now it. Make it the title.

[Patrick Johnson]

Take that glove off. Make it the title. If I was Drake, that would be like the last straw. Like, I'm told me to take the glove off. I'm putting money on the head. Like, okay, that think I'm playing now. I really. I really.

[Carrie Nani]

With the album, I like the maid of honor better.

[Patrick Johnson]

Like, made. I like Iceman better, I think.

[Carrie Nani]

I think just because the style of music I start to like a lot. It's just like the. The more like the. It's kind of like the jersey. Like the jersey type of music.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah.

[Carrie Nani]

And I like, really like the house music vibes. I always think when I hear those type of music, I just imagine myself in like. Like places where that would be a vibe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Something like that.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah. Like, I'm telling you, vacation here. It. It all depends on where you at.

[Jean Michelle]

Yes.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yes. I think that's what we were talking about, because, you know, people were talking about Drake is the king of beat switches and, like, switching the tempo. And there was a lot of songs where I. That's why I was mad at people coming out with, you know, their takes. With 17 minutes, it's 11:17 Central Time. Are you talking about the album week? The math ain't mad, but you got people. But, like, I. I like. I like the album. But, like, when I first started with the album, it was only three songs. I like. I'm like. Then I went back through it, and I picked up another three songs, went back through it, and it's like, damn. Some of these songs, I never gave a chance because I didn't like how it sounded in the first 10 seconds because I was so ready to jump to the other song. So a lot of people can't take in that much information. We know that, though America read out of fourth grade level, so we already know.

[Carrie Nani]

It was interesting, too. I was discovering the same song I was listening to. I was discovering the second half the songs on the Internet, because I hear the second half the songs like, wait, what song was that one? They'd be like, oh, this was this one.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah. Yeah, bro.

[Jean Michelle]

I definitely think Drake has a pocket, and now he likes to kind of stick to that pocket or he knows what works. And all the people who are hating on him right now who don't like the music, y' all still gonna be playing it in Miami. Y' all still gonna be playing in your cars when it's like, two.

[Carrie Nani]

Exactly. When you run the girl. When you run the girls, and they tell you to buy captions. Yeah, we gotta chill on the cap, though.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yes. Also. Yes. The captain's crazy. And like, okay, listen, we all got about, like, six days with. With the story post in the music. Okay. I'm. I'm participating right now. But after six days, let's start to sprinkle it in. You know what I'm saying? We all can't be using the same song.

[Carrie Nani]

And I'm not trying to all have the same caption. We got to spread it out a little.

[Patrick Johnson]

I'm not trying to be, like, the certain demographic that play everything. Hallelujah. Let's not do that with our Drake songs. You know what I'm saying? Let's spread it out a little bit. It was funny because, like, a lot of people also had. I'm talking about the people that had bad opinions about it super quick. And then, like, if you ask, like, a non Drake fan, what's his Best album. They. They have to say, take care, right? They have to, like, even if they hate on him, they have to say, take care. And Drake actually posted some of the comments to when Take Care first popped out, and it was like, oh, this? This too much. You doing too much. This not it. This not it. Like, I don't like the tempo of this beat, the tempo of that. And then just like, you gotta wait, bro. Every album, you gotta wait. There's so many albums I listen to when I'm like, this is great. And then I'm deleting it from my album Music two weeks later, like, what the. Did I download?

[Carrie Nani]

I think I said the same thing about Non Stop, the song where I didn't like it at first until I heard it outside. And I was like, okay, this is it. This goes.

[Patrick Johnson]

And I like to be different, too. If I see too many people, like, my first album, scroll through Shebang, like, probably everybody in history heard that beat and was like, I love it, and I love the song.

[Carrie Nani]

I didn't like it at first.

[Patrick Johnson]

At first, okay? I ran to the Internet, like, hey, they probably don't even know about shebang. The next 20 videos is like, you know, dancing to shebang. And now shebang lowered on my list because I like to be different. You know what I'm saying? I don't want you to know the words of my favorite song. So now I gotta go pick a different song.

[Carrie Nani]

All right, I got a question for you guys. All right? If you. Your friend has a picture, right, and you like it, and then you want to comment on it, if there's already some eight different people that left, just fire emojis under the picture, should you leave a different emoji?

[Jean Michelle]

Yes.

[Patrick Johnson]

Are you his best friend?

[Carrie Nani]

That's your boy.

[Patrick Johnson]

That's your boy. Nah, I think you gotta. I think you gotta bow out. You gotta do something different. You gotta post it on your story.

[Caller/Guest]

Oh, my God.

[Patrick Johnson]

You know what I'm saying? Like, you can't. Like, even. There's nothing you can do. You can't even comment. You know what I'm saying? You gotta post it on your story. Matter of fact, let me collab with this. It's a picture of the nigga and his mama. Let me collab with y', all, bro.

[Carrie Nani]

I've gotten the most random collabs before. Like, it has nothing to do with me. I'm like, I'm not in any of these pictures. I got tagged. I got mentioned in a story of a guy on a boat. He panned women on the boat and I'm tagged. And I was like, why am I tagged?

[Jean Michelle]

He want to make sure you see the

[Caller/Guest]

light.

[Patrick Johnson]

It was a part of the boat that it didn't go to. Come on now. Then he gonna ask me. He was like, bro, did you get invited to the boat, too? No.

[Carrie Nani]

Did you get mentioned in this, too?

[Patrick Johnson]

A rat. But look, weird as it was. Late as hell, too. I think it was like, 11. I get a text from Mike. He talking about, bro, did you get invited to that bow party with all the women on it?

[Carrie Nani]

I did not say that.

[Patrick Johnson]

Why the would I get invited or something like that?

[Carrie Nani]

I said, did you. I said, did he mention you in this too?

[Patrick Johnson]

Dude, why would you text me that, though?

[Carrie Nani]

Because I got mentioned.

[Patrick Johnson]

That's so, like.

[Carrie Nani]

I thought it was like a you. A. A you thing, you know?

[Patrick Johnson]

I mean, I was just chilling, you know? I'm saying I'm watching a movie. I get a text message from my boy.

[Carrie Nani]

Hey, bro, I think you watch the story too.

[Patrick Johnson]

Go to the story. Be vague. Go to the story. Tell me what you see. You click on your boy's story, and it's. Oh, damn.

[Carrie Nani]

Just beat the name. Just leave the name. I didn't want to make a big deal.

[Patrick Johnson]

That's a big deal. No, that. I don't want nobody looking at his. Please, please. I might be on it one day. Okay.

[Carrie Nani]

Oh, I had a. I had one tweet go ahead. For us, for a sex worker, Is it a good client or is a good client the one that who well or the one who badly?

[Patrick Johnson]

Are you asking us?

[Jean Michelle]

I have an experience.

[Carrie Nani]

It was just an interesting concept because I was seeing the comments under it saying, like. Like, women saying it, you know, one way or another. Because some of them would rather, I guess it be fast and bad.

[Patrick Johnson]

I. I've been. I've been in situations. I've heard of people.

[Carrie Nani]

I heard through the grapevine.

[Patrick Johnson]

I heard of people situations. My girls start watching.

[Carrie Nani]

Hey, it's like, how many minutes? We're 26 minutes in. No.

[Patrick Johnson]

Okay.

[Carrie Nani]

Yeah.

[Patrick Johnson]

Wait, hold on. Let me get rid of her.

[Carrie Nani]

Yeah.

[Patrick Johnson]

Sports, sports, sports. Lamar Jackson, Pat Mahomes. You think he coming back?

[Carrie Nani]

LeBron or Michael Jordan?

[Patrick Johnson]

I don't know. It's the championships versus the athletes. It might be down tonight. Remember, check your alternator. Okay. Got rid of it. Ladies, It's a trap. But what was I saying?

[Carrie Nani]

I said, you said from experience.

[Patrick Johnson]

I flustered my own brain. I got myself. I had to myself up.

[Jean Michelle]

What is your sex worker experience?

[Patrick Johnson]

No, no, no, no, no. Oh, Damn. That's what I said. No, but I was saying I was about to bring it back to strippers.

[Carrie Nani]

Okay.

[Patrick Johnson]

So not sex workers. I was going to bring it back to strippers just for the analogy. I've, like, seen. I've like, known strippers that I've heard say, like, they just rather the guy not know, like, how to be in a strip club up get what I'm saying. They rather, like, get a newbie that don't know what they doing. They don't really care if the guy looks good or if the guy. They just want to like the money. You know what I'm saying?

[Carrie Nani]

And they feel like they don't have to do as much to. To get him there. Yeah, but whatever he's looking for.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah, yeah, I. I don't. I really don't know. It's just like, how many people are sex workers because they love sex?

[Jean Michelle]

I don't know.

[Carrie Nani]

Yeah, there are. I'm pretty sure there has to be, right?

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah, there has to be.

[Carrie Nani]

But there's also a billion dollar market. Like, just like the sex in general. Like.

[Patrick Johnson]

Trillion.

[Carrie Nani]

Yeah, a trillion trillion. So it's just like, I mean, people

[Patrick Johnson]

in relationships paying for sex, vice versa.

[Carrie Nani]

Yeah. So I think it's like, for some of them, it might be easy. Any sex workers in that watch? I know there's a couple, y'. All.

[Patrick Johnson]

And by the numbers we have to have.

[Carrie Nani]

No, there was a few that said they were sex workers.

[Patrick Johnson]

No, no, no, they never. We never had that.

[Carrie Nani]

No, there was a few that said

[Patrick Johnson]

we never had that.

[Carrie Nani]

That in the DMs.

[Patrick Johnson]

No. Yeah, we never had that.

[Carrie Nani]

What? Okay.

[Patrick Johnson]

What the are you talking about?

[Carrie Nani]

Shay Gil just want mvp.

[Patrick Johnson]

Damn Shams. God damn. Yo, let's take a quick break from today's episode to thank the sponsor.

[Carrie Nani]

Earning your paycheck date could soon become the most irrelevant number in your life. Earnin is a non bank finance app. Five million people ain't growing. The concept is almost, almost annoyingly simple. You earn money, you access it. Getting paid twice a month doesn't mean money is scarce. It just feels that way. Up to 150 a day of what you've already worked for. Up to a thousand dollars between paychecks. Tips are optional and standard transfers take one to two business days with no mandatory fees. Expedited transfers start at $3.99 and cap at $5.99. It's not about emergencies. It's just a better way to exist financially. Day to day worth checking out.

[Patrick Johnson]

It's kind of absurd how we treat money versus how we treat everything else. In this instant access era, we're still just accepting waiting on paychecks as normal. If I watch a new movie, I can pop over to my favorite streaming services and watch it or instantly rent it with one click from an online site. Think about how wild it is that when we work, then wait, then we get paid. That's a deal we just accepted. But you can literally get anything else instantly. You can get groceries, takeout, you can set up an appointment. 5 million people have already made this switch. At this point, the old way is starting to look like the weird option

[Carrie Nani]

Download earning on the Apple Store or Google Play spelled earning money without the G type in Crash Dummies under podcast when you sign up. It'll really help the show. Mandatory disclaimers 1. Earning is a financial technology company, not a bank. 2. Access limits are based on your earnings and risk factors. Standard cash outs take one to two business days with no mandatory fees, 3. Expedited transfers available for a fee. Tips are voluntary and don't affect the service and four available in select states. Terms and restrictions apply. Visit Earnin.com for full details.

[Patrick Johnson]

I've been trying to find the best deal on NBA playoff tickets and discovered SeatGeek is the place to go for courtside basketball action. Which is why I want to give the sponsor of today's video, SeatGeek, a huge shout out. With over 35 million downloads, SeatGeek is the number one rated ticketing app.

[Carrie Nani]

There are more than 70,000 events listed on SeatGeek, including concerts, sports festivals and more. NBA and NHL playoffs are here, MLB is in full swing, and NFL schedule just dropped a few days ago. The did you see that Raiders one? They did a really good one with Kirk Cousins.

[Patrick Johnson]

Oh, did they?

[Carrie Nani]

Yeah, yeah, that was a really good one they did.

[Patrick Johnson]

Like the brothers, I see somebody diss the Patriots on one of their so

[Carrie Nani]

the NFL schedule just dropped a few days ago and now is the perfect time to start planning games you want to catch using SeatGeek. So obviously we're filming this before the Pistons game, but we're going to be in Detroit and we're hoping the Pistons win game seven so we can actually make the game and we'll be using SeatGeek to get those tickets.

[Patrick Johnson]

Remember, SeatGeek has your back. Each ticket is rated on a scale to 1 in 10, so you know you're getting a good deal. So look for the green dots. Green means good, red means bad. Plus every ticket is backed by their buyer guarantee. And of course we Got a code for you guys. You can use code dummies10 for 10 off your next set of tickets at SeatGeek. Remember, that's code dummies10.

[Carrie Nani]

That's 10% off any ticket with promo code dummies10. Make sure you click the link in the description to download the app and have the code automatically added to your account so you can use it later. Thank you, seatgeek, for sponsoring the podcast. Now back to the pod.

[Caller/Guest]

Yo, can. Yeah.

[Carrie Nani]

Can you hear us?

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Carrie Nani]

How's it going, man?

[Caller/Guest]

Going good, bro. Damn, my first time on the pod.

[Carrie Nani]

Welcome, bro.

[Patrick Johnson]

Welcome, welcome. Nice.

[Carrie Nani]

I got a question for you. What's your psa?

[Caller/Guest]

All right, man. My PSA is. I found a. A method. If you're. If you're girl into pegging, I found a method for the guys to. To, you know, block that. You know, get that out of here.

[Patrick Johnson]

To block it.

[Caller/Guest]

Okay.

[Patrick Johnson]

So, I mean, it is trying to go in your hole, so I guess it's a boy.

[Caller/Guest]

Gotcha. All right, so first of all, let me explain. So, like, me and my girl were just talking, and she just randomly brought it up. She's like, how would you feel, you know, begging? And I was like, yo, hey, yo. And, you know, I came up with a What a while does a response. I know Pac gonna say something about this, but I was. I. If you gotta peg me, you gotta eat it first.

[Patrick Johnson]

I wouldn't call that block. We're in basketball terms, I call it an alley. You maybe.

[Carrie Nani]

Or in sexual terms, I'll just call that foreplay. She got eating first. So you want her to lube you up then? Basically.

[Caller/Guest]

Nah, nah, because I know. I knew. I knew she wasn't gonna do it, but.

[Patrick Johnson]

You knew. But you never thought. You never thought she was gonna peg you either?

[Caller/Guest]

It's not that. I just. In my head, I was like, I gotta out freak her.

[Patrick Johnson]

Okay, before we get up, before we get on you, are you saying this because it's only because you know she'll never say it, or is that something that you will require as a trade?

[Caller/Guest]

Nah, I. I know because she would never do it.

[Patrick Johnson]

But what if she does it?

[Caller/Guest]

Oh, man, I'm.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yes, you are. All right.

[Carrie Nani]

I mean, like, why can't you just tell her? No, no, no, no, no.

[Patrick Johnson]

That's not the question. Why is this nigga telling us Us? That's the other.

[Carrie Nani]

It's because for all my other dudes

[Caller/Guest]

out there, bro, like, I can't, bro. I can't tell her.

[Carrie Nani]

How do you know this Is like a epidemic that's going on right now.

[Caller/Guest]

Because I listen to the pod, bro. Like, you got. Y. Y. Y' all got some freaky call.

[Carrie Nani]

Yeah, but the. That be saying that on the pod. They actually want to do it literally all.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, you know what? You're right about that. You're right.

[Carrie Nani]

Why she. Why can't you tell her no, though?

[Patrick Johnson]

He said, you're right,

[Caller/Guest]

no, because I told her no. But she was like, bro. She was like, I'm gonna do it anyways. I was like, yo, you gotta chill, bro.

[Patrick Johnson]

I think you got a bigger problem. Does she own something like that already, or is this just all hypothetical talk?

[Caller/Guest]

Nah, it's all hypothetical. She ain't got nothing like that.

[Patrick Johnson]

Like, where are y' all when y' all have these conversations, is my question.

[Caller/Guest]

No, it would be like sometimes just like, I guess, like, when we going somewhere, it'll be like, you know, talking the car on the way there, like, right? It'll be like, just the random.

[Patrick Johnson]

She's trying to peg you before y' all go to Marshalls.

[Carrie Nani]

I'm trying to see how big of the jump of freakiness is happening right now. So has she ever proposed something like. Like, less freaky in the bedroom or. This is like, the first time she's ever talked about experiences she wants to have in the bedroom.

[Caller/Guest]

I mean, I think I low key. I think she's gotten, like, this. This freaky ideas because I put her onto the pod, and when she's been listening to, like, don't blame us.

[Carrie Nani]

Hey, don't do that. No, don't do that, bro. I want to say that also hearing

[Patrick Johnson]

people talk about something does not. Not, like, introduce something sexually. Like, if some. Nobody's coming to a podcast, a comedy podcast at that, and then taking it away, like, oh, I want to peg my boyfriend. It has to be something you're giving off to her. Like, there's is nothing to do with us. Like, you must be tooting that thing up in front of.

[Caller/Guest]

I give nothing off to her. I don't know what it is.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah, hey, you let her play in your ass, and then now you're wondering why she would have peg you. Come on, man.

[Caller/Guest]

No, bro.

[Patrick Johnson]

I'm bringing that nasty here, bro.

[Caller/Guest]

No, never. That. I would not. I would never.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah, he trembling.

[Carrie Nani]

I thought his method was going to be, like, swiping it away or something.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah, he talking about. No, he talking about. No, get it wet first, baby.

[Carrie Nani]

As I was saying.

[Patrick Johnson]

What the.

[Carrie Nani]

All right, bro. You have a good one, man.

[Patrick Johnson]

Chili dog go Ahead.

[Carrie Nani]

Yeah,

[Caller/Guest]

when y' all going to. When y' all going to be in Cali for your tour this fall?

[Carrie Nani]

All right.

[Caller/Guest]

For sure.

[Carrie Nani]

You'll know the dates.

[Patrick Johnson]

You know the dates, man. Just make sure you wash your hands before you.

[Carrie Nani]

All right?

[Caller/Guest]

All right. Y' all got a good one.

[Carrie Nani]

You too.

[Caller/Guest]

Hello.

[Carrie Nani]

Hello.

[Patrick Johnson]

What up?

[Caller/Guest]

Hi.

[Patrick Johnson]

What it do?

[Caller/Guest]

Hi, Mike.

[Patrick Johnson]

Hey.

[Carrie Nani]

What's your psa?

[Caller/Guest]

My PSA is all of these fender fellas ass men need to stop wearing all these sparkly clothes. They already shine their bright like diamonds.

[Carrie Nani]

You said cinder fellas.

[Caller/Guest]

Yes.

[Carrie Nani]

Interesting. What's okay?

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah, like what? Can you explain what clothes you're talking about?

[Caller/Guest]

Be the baddest women in the room. They in the club standing on couches with their tutus on. And they. And they sparkly outfits.

[Patrick Johnson]

Is okay, okay What? Like, what do you want them to

[Caller/Guest]

get back to all them tight clothes? The pants be tighter than mine get. I'm not saying, you know, wear something, you know, like soldier. What we back in the day. But, you know, can we at least try?

[Patrick Johnson]

What. What's the dress code, though? What you think we need advice?

[Caller/Guest]

Not. Not bad, I can tell you that.

[Patrick Johnson]

Okay. You got a man.

[Caller/Guest]

I don't, but that's why cuz they out here looking better than me.

[Patrick Johnson]

We both can't be bad bitches.

[Caller/Guest]

She said get ready. That's kind of crazy.

[Carrie Nani]

So you don't like any bedazzle? Like, what's just like some subtle bedazzle? Because I got some shirts with some subtle bedazzle on it.

[Caller/Guest]

What's subtle? Like two, three.

[Carrie Nani]

Like maybe like if I. I think I have a shirt with a SC on it that has.

[Patrick Johnson]

That's bedazzled out.

[Carrie Nani]

You think so?

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah. Hell yeah. Two, three. Like we. We all wear bedazzles on this pod. Like as. As.

[Caller/Guest]

So I watch y' all on YouTube. No, y' all don't.

[Patrick Johnson]

I got a pair of pants that look like a disco ball. No, I got some bedazzled shit.

[Caller/Guest]

You got to wear them shoes. You better wear it in private.

[Patrick Johnson]

Not private, but I won't wear it to a club or nothing. But I will wear a bedazzled shirt if I like it. Not all the way bedazzled.

[Carrie Nani]

I have been wearing. I have been wearing less bedazzled stuff, though. Like a lot less. Like, I haven't worn one in a while because it is. Some of them are getting a little too much. Like as. I'm. As I'm getting up there in my 30s.

[Caller/Guest]

I seen it. Yeah, no, that's the problem, though. Once you hit that 30, we don't say like 20. They're late 20s, them 30 marks. All right, now, no, let's. Let's. Let's calm down. Get you a regular T shirt.

[Carrie Nani]

Okay?

[Caller/Guest]

Two, three. But that's all I could do for you. The whole shirt you got, you buy your little graphic shirt. They got the gr.

[Carrie Nani]

But what is the bedazzle Are actually diamonds, though.

[Patrick Johnson]

She said the snowman with the chains.

[Caller/Guest]

No, I don't care. Instead. Why. Why do you want that?

[Patrick Johnson]

No, we got them.

[Caller/Guest]

We're both gonna be bad. We're both gonna be at the club shining party. Like.

[Carrie Nani]

Yeah, why don't we be seeing girls wearing bedazzle stuff like that at all?

[Patrick Johnson]

Nah, you. You the bedazzle boss.

[Caller/Guest]

Exactly. Two to three bedazzles, max. Anything more than two, you're not coming in the club.

[Patrick Johnson]

Okay, what you. Okay, let's say scenario. We all going out to the club. What you wearing?

[Caller/Guest]

I would wear us. I wear a dress. I don't know, depending on the vibe. A dress or skirt?

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah. What color? What colors? What are the colors?

[Caller/Guest]

It don't matter about the color. The color doesn't matter.

[Patrick Johnson]

You wearing all black. That's that masculine stuff we talking about. Fellas, stop Flap flat. But you just gotta let everybody wear what they want. And then it's even better for you. You won't ever run into a dude that you don't want because, like, you'll be able to tell right away. Like, bedazzles, they ain't even a dude for you. You know what I'm saying?

[Caller/Guest]

But okay, no, no, no. Cause I ran. I see. I'm a truck driver. I ran into one at a truck stop.

[Patrick Johnson]

I know.

[Caller/Guest]

Almost shot the fuck out of me. Behind me, old school.

[Carrie Nani]

Okay, so you're dating a guy, right? And everything's. Everything's going well. You guys are been talking for like three months and, like, it's going really good.

[Patrick Johnson]

Been on dates, right?

[Carrie Nani]

Dates and like that. Basically damn near your boyfriend and then he shows up to a date in a bedazzled button up. What are you doing then? Are you ending it there because of the bedazzle or do you continue dating?

[Caller/Guest]

Like, it's full. All bedazzle. Like.

[Carrie Nani]

Yeah, yeah, like all bedazzle.

[Patrick Johnson]

Like, it look good. It look good though. They ain't no crazy.

[Carrie Nani]

Let's go bald.

[Patrick Johnson]

And it cost two babies.

[Caller/Guest]

No, I got sick. I gotta go.

[Carrie Nani]

We would end the relationship just because of that.

[Caller/Guest]

I'm gonna get sick. We gotta Go home. We gotta leave the function. Why would you do that?

[Patrick Johnson]

What shoes you wearing to the date?

[Caller/Guest]

Lovely heels.

[Carrie Nani]

No wedges. No wedges.

[Patrick Johnson]

No dunks? No, the heel. The heels in the dress. You right. You deserve. You deserve. No bedazzo. You right. You got a right.

[Carrie Nani]

We don't know what she deserves.

[Patrick Johnson]

No, no, no, no, no, no. You deserve. No, she literally deserve everything. First of all. First of all, happy international woman century. She literally drive a truck and wear heels. How many like her? She one on one. Rare. Come on, pop your sis.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah.

[Carrie Nani]

Appreciate you.

[Caller/Guest]

You. Thank y'.

[Patrick Johnson]

All.

[Caller/Guest]

Have a good day.

[Patrick Johnson]

You too. Period. Yo, what's the word, bird?

[Caller/Guest]

What's the word?

[Carrie Nani]

What it do? What it do? Welcome to Craft Podcast, man.

[Caller/Guest]

What up? What up?

[Carrie Nani]

All right, well, what's your psa?

[Caller/Guest]

My PSA is couples need to stop going to the club together.

[Patrick Johnson]

Okay.

[Carrie Nani]

Okay.

[Patrick Johnson]

Why you say that?

[Caller/Guest]

I feel like that's like clubbing and going out. That's not a. A. A relationship thing. That's not something people in relationships should be doing.

[Carrie Nani]

So you, like, on the. You don't. You got a girl?

[Patrick Johnson]

No.

[Carrie Nani]

Okay.

[Patrick Johnson]

Basically. Basically you. Basically, you tired of seeing girls there. And then you walk up to him and they like, oh, I got a boyfriend. He right over there. No, no, no.

[Caller/Guest]

Because you could already peep that. It's the. It's the fact just seeing him there, like.

[Jean Michelle]

Like.

[Caller/Guest]

Like, why are they here? What's here for them? You know?

[Patrick Johnson]

Like, when the last time you been in a relationship?

[Caller/Guest]

Last year.

[Patrick Johnson]

Last year, you. You and your girl never went out?

[Caller/Guest]

We did go out.

[Patrick Johnson]

Where y' all meet?

[Caller/Guest]

Like, we met through, like, mutuals.

[Patrick Johnson]

Mutuals. What, did y' all go to the club?

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, we went out, like, once or twice.

[Patrick Johnson]

Like, that wasn't fun to you?

[Caller/Guest]

It wasn't. Because I just feel like everybody was looking at my.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah, that's your first problem right there.

[Caller/Guest]

Like, she was bad. I just feel like everybody wanted my. You know.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah, that's like. You know, that's called being insecure.

[Carrie Nani]

Hey, but you know that, you know, they'll. They'll want her amore when you're not there, right?

[Caller/Guest]

And that's why we're not together, because

[Patrick Johnson]

she gotta want them back.

[Carrie Nani]

Because I'm saying that in a sense, that you said you. They shouldn't go to the club together. So if you're in a relationship with a girl, right, and are you letting her go to the club by herself, then are you okay with it?

[Caller/Guest]

No, I'm saying if you're in a relationship, you shouldn't be going to the club, period. Like, with her or without her.

[Patrick Johnson]

Oh, this is just like. So this is not even a thing about you being in the club with people in a relationship. This about you not wanting women in a club who in a relationship because you insecure. So, like, you don't want your girl in a club

[Caller/Guest]

type.

[Carrie Nani]

So when you're in a relationship so you don't go to clubs no more?

[Caller/Guest]

Not really. Like, I. I usually.

[Carrie Nani]

That's.

[Caller/Guest]

That's. That's when I do, like, movies and restaurants.

[Carrie Nani]

No, I feel it. I would say it's not a bad thing for you to say, like, you don't want to date a girl that. That. That's always in the club and stuff like that. That's just your preference. So your preference is your preference. But once you get with somebody, those

[Caller/Guest]

are the type of girls you want to see when you go to the club.

[Patrick Johnson]

Okay, I'm trying to.

[Carrie Nani]

I'm trying to cop a plea for you, brother.

[Caller/Guest]

He like.

[Patrick Johnson]

He keep cosplaying is like, broken heart, lover boy. And, like, I want to see the girls in a club. Like, which one? Pick a side.

[Carrie Nani]

Either you super red pill or not.

[Patrick Johnson]

You said what?

[Caller/Guest]

Two. Two things could be true at once?

[Patrick Johnson]

Nah, bro, you got to pick a side. That's your problem, bro. Pick a side. You want this to stop over here and this to start over here, and you just want to control everything. You ain't got no girl.

[Caller/Guest]

No. I just never heard. I just never heard of no having a good time in the club with that, bro.

[Patrick Johnson]

I do all the time, bro. Like what? Like what the are you doing with your girl? Y' all arguing or some. Y' all going through each other?

[Caller/Guest]

That's what I've seen. I've seen that. I've seen.

[Patrick Johnson]

How tall are you?

[Carrie Nani]

Are you?

[Patrick Johnson]

He said 27.

[Carrie Nani]

27, okay.

[Caller/Guest]

I'm 62.

[Patrick Johnson]

Why can we always tell when somebody lying? It don't even.

[Caller/Guest]

I'm a cool.

[Patrick Johnson]

I'm a cool.

[Caller/Guest]

57.

[Patrick Johnson]

There we go. The up part. 6.

[Caller/Guest]

When he says 35. 7.

[Patrick Johnson]

It's like when he says 62, it sounds like he never said 62 in his life. Like, he just put those two numbers together for the first time. N. Say six. Six, two. What the.

[Caller/Guest]

Oh, me? Yeah, I had to. I had to. I had to dig deep for that.

[Patrick Johnson]

He went from starting two guard to backup point guard quick as I got bunnies, though. Hey, that's good, man. Just get the second unit going. That's all we ask. We need y' All.

[Caller/Guest]

Every team need that energy off.

[Carrie Nani]

Feel it.

[Patrick Johnson]

Check in, taking charges and.

[Carrie Nani]

All right, bro. Yeah, I'mma go.

[Patrick Johnson]

All right, try. Get the start, point guard and file trouble. Yeah. Yo, what's the word, brother?

[Caller/Guest]

What up, bro? What y' all on?

[Patrick Johnson]

Welcome to cdp, bro.

[Caller/Guest]

Oh, I'm a. I'm a regular here. Y' all have my brother on a minute ago, talking about what you. Yeah, it was a. Talking about what you cheat on your girl for a thousand dollars up to 500. He said, yeah, bro. They engaged now, actually.

[Patrick Johnson]

Man, I ain't gonna lie. We take so many callers, bro. We don't remember that. But. But hold on. Let me. Let me act like I remember. Hell, no. That's crazy. Remember that, Mike?

[Carrie Nani]

They married now.

[Patrick Johnson]

That's crazy. Tell.

[Caller/Guest]

I just got back from his bach. I just got back from his bachelor party, actually, that's the airport right now.

[Patrick Johnson]

That's one of my. Our most memorable calls, bro. Like, went viral.

[Carrie Nani]

All right, bro, what's your psa, man?

[Caller/Guest]

Bro, I ain't going to lie. I be dropping terrible dick. I be dropping terrible dick in me so bad.

[Carrie Nani]

So that's your public service announce announcement.

[Patrick Johnson]

What a change,

[Caller/Guest]

bro. Bro, it'd just be terrible. I'd be dropping bad dick on these hoes. I'm like, I be thinking I'm gonna get a call back, too, after is my problem. And I know it's bad.

[Carrie Nani]

Like, how are you? How are they, like, bad? Like, how do you know they're bad, bro?

[Caller/Guest]

I got bad hips. I'd be sitting doing missionary for, like, 10 minutes, cramping. I'm like, bro, what am I doing?

[Patrick Johnson]

I'm all right. You the stomach to stomach type of.

[Caller/Guest]

See, my problem is, though, I'm into, like, the real freaky with it. Like, the real freaky. But then, like, you know, yeah, it's just bad dick. Everything else cool. Like, I'll eat your ass. You can eat my ass. But, like, whoa.

[Carrie Nani]

You said that way, very casually. Did not. Oh, no, you. We just said this.

[Patrick Johnson]

Wait, what the.

[Caller/Guest]

Did he just say you never had your box tap? You never had your box licked?

[Patrick Johnson]

Your box licked? Box licked. You gave yourself a box.

[Caller/Guest]

You gotta call it the box, bro. You gotta call it the box.

[Patrick Johnson]

I've never heard that before, I swear to God.

[Caller/Guest]

See, if y' all post this, my. Everyone that know me gonna hear, but is that you? I'm like, yeah, yeah. You know how I get down.

[Patrick Johnson]

Whoa, whoa. Oh, this is like a known thing. Know his slang? Yeah. What was he his original name? Oh, so so, like, what? So, like, how do you like all this freaky stuff? And you can't do no freaky stuff. You got bad hips, bro.

[Caller/Guest]

I got bad. I played college football, niggas. Hips is bad. I just be sitting here trying to. I like the Little engine that wish he could me. It should be horrible, too. Like, I know it'd be bad as, like, a girl.

[Carrie Nani]

Told you this, though. Are you just kind of going based on.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no, no, no. So my brother's fiance, actually, I. Her best.

[Carrie Nani]

Crazy way, they started sensing after saying, how are you getting reviews on your terrible dick? Go ahead.

[Caller/Guest]

My brother's fiance, I. Her best friend, she straight up said the foreplay is a 10 out of 10. The dick was horrible. I said, damn.

[Patrick Johnson]

Said foreplay.

[Carrie Nani]

At least you're getting the. The reports back.

[Caller/Guest]

It was like a 3 out of 10, bro. I was like. I was like, that's a horrible way. I'm just giving out bad meats.

[Patrick Johnson]

That. That's. Hey, man.

[Carrie Nani]

Or you got to just work on it, bro.

[Caller/Guest]

Nah, I accepted it. At this point, it's kind of my personality. I just giving up bad dicks.

[Carrie Nani]

So are you in a relationship now,

[Caller/Guest]

man, that's loaded as hell. Kind of, I guess. Maybe. Maybe.

[Patrick Johnson]

What? What? Like what? Explain that situation.

[Caller/Guest]

Oh, my relationship?

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah. We should already known that you was in a dicey situation by the way you even talking. Because it's like, there's no way you can keep a woman with the way you talking.

[Caller/Guest]

But go ahead, bro. I can know. That's the problem. That's the problem. I keep, like, three, four bad. I just can't commit. That's my problem. Like, they be hella cool, though, because they know I brought that dick, and they'd be, like, real comfortable with the bad dick. Like, no, it's not like that. It's good. I'm like, like, damn, you really a good girl, huh?

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah, man. You ever heard of a. Like, a therapist or something?

[Carrie Nani]

It's just.

[Caller/Guest]

I don't believe that.

[Carrie Nani]

It's just, like, why don't you just, like, actually just commit to a girl then if you're like, if you already know you're bad at something and why are you trying to overachieve with three people?

[Caller/Guest]

Damn, Y' all really want to get into. This is crazy. So, bro, I was in college, right? But this girl, Bam. First girl actually ate my ass, bro. First girl ever, okay? And was ready to marry this Bam. I'm talking to her about it. Talk to her, daddy. It's gonna get crazy.

[Patrick Johnson]

I can't keep talking to this dog.

[Caller/Guest]

He just straight up go, oh, no, my daughter ain't marrying a black man. What? And then, oh, yeah, bro. Ever since that moment, I can't commit.

[Patrick Johnson]

I wish you would have never told nobody he was black, bro. That's like, some info. Let's bleep that out.

[Carrie Nani]

Come on, man.

[Patrick Johnson]

Man, we trying to move. Trying to move. Trying to move the culture forward, man. Yeah, they got retired police dog hips.

[Caller/Guest]

It's not as crazy as that, all right? Police dog is despicable.

[Carrie Nani]

Yeah. All right, bro. Go, go. Stress.

[Caller/Guest]

Hey, N N. We ain't doing

[Patrick Johnson]

Amazon presents Jeff vs. Taco Truck Salsa. Whether it's verde roja or the orange one. For Jeff, trying any salsa is like playing Russian roulette with a flamethrower. Luckily, Jeff saved with Amazon and stocked up on antacids, ginger tea and milk.

[Carrie Nani]

Habanero.

[Patrick Johnson]

More like habanero year. Yes. Save the everyday with Amazon. Yo, what's the word? Welcome to Crashing Podcast.

[Caller/Guest]

What's up, fellas?

[Patrick Johnson]

No, let's go.

[Caller/Guest]

You rushing me, bro.

[Patrick Johnson]

I got a question for you, bro. I was just trying to get you hyped because you sounded kind of bland.

[Caller/Guest]

I'm about to say, like you were supposed to ask me the question first, but I know how this go, man.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah, okay. Yeah, turn it up. All right, all right. But what's something that breaks your heart to say but you have no choice?

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, man. A couple weeks ago, I had went out, had met this amazing girl. Bro, I'm talking about amazing, beautiful. You know what I'm saying? Great energy. All type of got the number, feel me? The little energy. The first, probably what? We set up a date. She couldn't make it. Had like an appointment or something. Like, okay, cool. I'm like, all right. So any of business, just let me know when you freeze. A week went by. Nothing. Two weeks went by. I'm like, all right. Three weeks went by. I'm like, okay. So started goddamn, you know what I'm saying? Keep outsourcing for goddamn, like, council, I guess you could say. Yeah, I need to, like, help. Did I double texted or not? They was like, yeah, if you really like her. Oh, excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. We don't call on crash.

[Patrick Johnson]

Thank you.

[Caller/Guest]

Really like this woman. You should. You should, you know, say, I try a little harder. I'm like, all, bro, it's against. This is against what I, you know, I'm saying what I stand for, but I'll do it because I do, like, her cool reached out again. I was like, everything just really just slowed down to him. Like, I'm just like, ah, I'm not getting the same energy back. What is this? And then I got ghosted. I guess it was. It was a dog.

[Patrick Johnson]

But then you get ghosted the first time. Wasn't it like.

[Caller/Guest]

I mean, yeah, three weeks. I got double ghosted.

[Patrick Johnson]

No, you got triple ghosts. I say like a week is ghosting. Like, especially after having something with somebody and they not telling you why. Then two weeks, double ghosting, three weeks, triple ghosting. Then you went back four weeks total ghosted.

[Caller/Guest]

No, but it was really three weeks, bro. Because I texted on the third.

[Carrie Nani]

That's just part of the game. You just called for some simple.

[Patrick Johnson]

That boy just went diamond. And ghosting got a hit record.

[Caller/Guest]

Hey, man, happens to the best of it.

[Patrick Johnson]

Don't. I hate them. But the other thing I do. Okay, I want to say this. I hate when people say stuff like this is ghosting, right? Just because somebody has like a hard time time telling you something, maybe they see that you wouldn't have took it. Good, because you can't even understand, like the little one week break. You should have got the hint.

[Caller/Guest]

I mean, I did. Like I said, I definitely got the hint, but I outsourced it. I'm like, how you get the hint?

[Patrick Johnson]

And then you told me, try again. Who told you try again.

[Caller/Guest]

My sister.

[Patrick Johnson]

Try again.

[Caller/Guest]

You got sisters? Like, yeah.

[Patrick Johnson]

How does. Don't correlate me with no. Like that you got sister too. I'm saying like, bro, try again. Don't make sense. After somebody didn't talk to you for three weeks. And that's like the most pitiful advice you can get. She did not give a. Yeah, your sister must have. No, like, damn, I can't believe she

[Carrie Nani]

went out with you.

[Patrick Johnson]

Try again.

[Carrie Nani]

Does the girl. Does she have like, mutual friends at all?

[Caller/Guest]

No, I met her like, just at an outing.

[Patrick Johnson]

How did you get her number?

[Caller/Guest]

I mean, like, I danced with the girl all night. Like we was vibing, like by the end of the night.

[Patrick Johnson]

Was it dark in there?

[Caller/Guest]

From the club? Club? Oh, I ain't ugly. The.

[Patrick Johnson]

I just asked was it dark. Look, there you go. Now I gotta check your profile. You ask a ugly. I'm just saying, was it dark? I'm just saying, like, I'm. I just asked what type of club it was. Now we got to check your profile picture.

[Caller/Guest]

I know. Game, like, go ahead, take a look.

[Patrick Johnson]

Go ahead.

[Caller/Guest]

Bro, it's been a minute since I've been on the Part, bro.

[Patrick Johnson]

No, no, no, you good, bro. Nobody said you was ugly, bro.

[Caller/Guest]

Bro, I know I'm not.

[Patrick Johnson]

I was just trying to. I'm just trying to get the. Like, Do y' all know each other? Have y' all seen each other in the light?

[Caller/Guest]

I mean, yeah, bro. Like I said, right in the night, we were sitting out front of the club. I'm kissing on her shoulders, and I'm thinking is immaculate.

[Carrie Nani]

Wait, okay, okay, okay. So after the club, you never saw her again?

[Caller/Guest]

Never seen her again, Bro, what the

[Carrie Nani]

Is this talking about?

[Caller/Guest]

She got.

[Patrick Johnson]

Bro, she married, bro. She got a family.

[Carrie Nani]

It's a regular ass.

[Patrick Johnson]

She wanted to have fun. Some women do. Just.

[Carrie Nani]

You were fun for the night. Probably.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah. Just. Just.

[Caller/Guest]

Man, I ain't gonna hold you, though. I ain't gonna hold you, though. I'm low key, like, new to the nightlife, bro. I ain't, you know, saying, how old are you indulging that Too much?

[Patrick Johnson]

How are you six, but 26. Oh, welcome to the game, little ball up. Man, I'm telling you, like, if you worried about getting ghosted, you do not get a number at a club. Like, women give their number away at a club. Club for sport. Like, bro, this is a. This is a game. They might kiss you.

[Carrie Nani]

They might.

[Patrick Johnson]

Bruh. They literally might hang with you the whole night. They might introduce you to their whole section. But when they wake up in the morning, they're going home to their husband and three kids. They. You just a little. You're just a little young.

[Carrie Nani]

Did you buy her a drink, boy?

[Patrick Johnson]

You know what I'm saying, they have fun with.

[Caller/Guest]

I mean, I did. It was just one first.

[Carrie Nani]

You said what?

[Caller/Guest]

Somebody bought her a drink first?

[Patrick Johnson]

He wasn't the first.

[Carrie Nani]

Okay, bro, it. It was just a one night thing, bro. I don't even count that as ghosting.

[Caller/Guest]

I get it now.

[Carrie Nani]

If you're.

[Caller/Guest]

I get it now.

[Carrie Nani]

Like, if I. I was thinking, y' all went on multiple dates after that, and then she ghosted you. That was just one night at the club.

[Patrick Johnson]

Oh, he's saying he get it now. He just needed.

[Caller/Guest]

I mean, yeah, like I said, I'm. I'm new to the. Bro, I didn't know that's how it works.

[Carrie Nani]

Your sister should have told you this, not us, man.

[Patrick Johnson]

How does your sister.

[Caller/Guest]

Her. I mean, was she 28, 9?

[Patrick Johnson]

Is she married?

[Caller/Guest]

She definitely said girls be finding, like, club boyfriends and. But I'm like, I ain't think it

[Patrick Johnson]

would be like, yeah, your sister know? She. She knew. She just didn't Want to break your heart. She like, damn, my brother just got ghosted. That girl played him trying to text

[Carrie Nani]

a girl three weeks after you met her once at the club is crazy.

[Patrick Johnson]

Hey, you should have texted that SAT on Saturday when you knew she was going out to the club again. She might have ran it back with you, bro. That's your best bet. Not gonna get her in the daylight, though. She a vampire. He been trying to go to the same club, and same time he's standing in the same spot. She right here,

[Carrie Nani]

Same fit. He's like, I didn't see her.

[Patrick Johnson]

And I bet you. I bet you his ass got a modelo in his hand with a line. Talk about where she at.

[Carrie Nani]

Did that little Drake thing. Where she at?

[Caller/Guest]

Chill on me, bro. I told y', all, I'm lowkey. A late bloomer, bro.

[Carrie Nani]

Like, nah, bro, that is just common

[Patrick Johnson]

sense, you know, you gotta. Yeah, you gotta do.

[Carrie Nani]

Yes. After three weeks, I get it. After the first time, you know, you. She was. Might have been a vibe you guys might have been vibing out the first week you trying to text her and like that. But after the first week, bro, it's. It's raps, bro. He got it. He.

[Patrick Johnson]

He understands now people, like, actually, like, next time.

[Caller/Guest]

You appreciate Eugene, bro. Like, you see what I'm saying? I need a little bit of sincerity, bro.

[Patrick Johnson]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You need some tough love.

[Carrie Nani]

Your sister was being sincere. Look what that got you.

[Patrick Johnson]

That got you three weeks after. Come on, man.

[Carrie Nani]

Come on now.

[Patrick Johnson]

You almost went to jail.

[Jean Michelle]

Said the same.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah. Talking about outsourcing. Hey, just. Hey, how many people in your crew that you hang out with that you would go to the club with?

[Caller/Guest]

Respectfully, I really just go to club. My cousin, bro, but police officer, so he don't be having too much free time.

[Patrick Johnson]

Oh, okay. Fighting crime.

[Caller/Guest]

And

[Patrick Johnson]

he said that like, man, he Batman or. Okay, but. Okay, but. But what I'm trying to tell you is, like, you just ain't got nobody in your inner circle to, like, help you out. So maybe instead of, like, outsourcing, trying to find out what she doing, you need to, like, outsource and try to get ahead of this nightlife. You don't just jump into no nightlife and try to figure out the yourself. Just go ask somebody some advice, you know what I'm saying? Especially don't go to your sister. She don't know what the she talking about. My Lord.

[Caller/Guest]

And I was telling her that, too. Like, we was arguing, and I'm telling her, like, Bro, a male's pov like, why the am I trying again? Like, I gave you the opportunity to hit me back.

[Carrie Nani]

The club is.

[Caller/Guest]

Then she like, she said, some, like, girls run into a lot of you should try to prove that you really like her.

[Patrick Johnson]

And I'm like, bro, I get it, but she working. She working for the other team. She's a city girl.

[Carrie Nani]

The thing also being at clubs, the music is very loud, so you're basically whispering in their ears here and telling her. And all she doing has been nodding the whole night, like, yup, yup, yup. Not understanding anything that you probably like. Any information you might have provided.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, Mike, like, we had really. We had real basics.

[Carrie Nani]

What y' all talk about? What was the one thing? What. What's one thing you learned about her that night?

[Caller/Guest]

She got three brothers, baby.

[Patrick Johnson]

Can you help me? Baby, can you help me? You see how dumb that sound? You try to talk about your brothers and sisters and Boston Richie Pan in the background. That don't make sense, man. Like, what the. Like, that don' sense, bro. That's you, bro. I'm trying to help you out.

[Caller/Guest]

I'm like, I said, bro. I get it, toy.

[Carrie Nani]

Like, no, I feel it, bro.

[Patrick Johnson]

Okay, what's your new approach? What you gonna do next time?

[Caller/Guest]

I mean, like I said, I really had success. My first go around. This. The second go around. First go around. Shy took my number.

[Carrie Nani]

Okay, so that's what I'm just gonna go and. Did you. Did you guys. What happened after she took your number? Did she hit you up?

[Caller/Guest]

I mean, I ended up hitting that. Yeah, I ended up hitting that. Okay.

[Patrick Johnson]

Is that the goal, though?

[Carrie Nani]

Is that all you wanted, right?

[Caller/Guest]

I mean, nah, I'm actually looking for a relationship right now. That's why I was.

[Patrick Johnson]

But why. The first thing right is first of all, it's a club, and then the first thing you tell us is that you hit it. You ain't say, like, how the relationship went or what happened. So you just felt like it was very.

[Caller/Guest]

What you talking about? The first girl.

[Patrick Johnson]

I'm just saying, you throwing us off of what you want. Are you just out here just like, what you looking for?

[Caller/Guest]

I mean, I'm in the. I'm in the process of just having fun. If it finds me, I'm gonna find it.

[Carrie Nani]

I feel it.

[Patrick Johnson]

I feel it. That's all we want to know, bro.

[Carrie Nani]

I hope it works out for you, man.

[Caller/Guest]

I meet a lot of women, bro, but it's just like, I hope it works out.

[Carrie Nani]

I'm not saying. Also, I'M not saying the club. You can't meet people at the club. I just think it's not, like, the most conducive places for people to meet, because, like, you can meet a girl in the club and you met her somewhere else outside the club, and you guys would be a perfect match. I just don't think real conversations happen

[Caller/Guest]

in the club makes sense. All right, see, I. I get that as well, but I was trying to got, you know, saying, get that date so we can have some real talk, but never.

[Patrick Johnson]

All right, bro. All right. What's your mess?

[Caller/Guest]

Shout out to y' all boys.

[Patrick Johnson]

Okay.

[Caller/Guest]

You know what I'm saying? Well, I. I'm glad y' all let me back on the pod. I'm the Red Bull. You feel me? My wife did a complete 180since then, you know, saying what was the Red Bull?

[Carrie Nani]

Things.

[Patrick Johnson]

I really. We don't remember. We get so many calls, bro. Remind us.

[Caller/Guest]

I'm already know. I think y' all had a dude on the podcast from Gritson. Gritson. Gritson Eggs.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah. Oh, okay. Deontay, Kyle. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Caller/Guest]

That episode. But, yeah, I'm a Red Bull dude, and they got fired. You feel me? 180. You feel me? Better job. Like I said, I'm back on the hoes, and so.

[Patrick Johnson]

Okay. I remember it. Yeah. Okay.

[Carrie Nani]

All right.

[Patrick Johnson]

Good, though.

[Carrie Nani]

Hope we help again, bro.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, for sure.

[Patrick Johnson]

You missed. But you missed that girl, though.

[Caller/Guest]

I do, but I'm gonna go out right now, actually. I need to be getting ready.

[Carrie Nani]

So what's your message? If she recognize your voice, just give me a chance. Add club music to it. Sorry. Okay.

[Caller/Guest]

You let me take you out, I'm gonna show you what a real man, baby.

[Patrick Johnson]

Can you hear my car beefing with my right now, but life still living.

[Caller/Guest]

You know what I'm saying?

[Carrie Nani]

That's exactly. That's exactly what she heard. That's the only way she recognized his voice.

[Patrick Johnson]

She like, damn. Okay, now you. That's what you got. You got to send a voice note with some G herbo playing in the background. What's up, man?

[Carrie Nani]

What up? What up?

[Caller/Guest]

Ain't nothing much, bro. I'm in my up situation right now. My battery stopped on me. I'm going through y' all stories. Let me reply to these next.

[Carrie Nani]

Are you on the side of the road right now?

[Caller/Guest]

Hell, yeah, man.

[Carrie Nani]

Be careful, though. Should be getting crazy on the side

[Patrick Johnson]

of the road like, like, you. You're a truck driver or just, like, regular car?

[Caller/Guest]

This is regular car, man.

[Carrie Nani]

What you waiting on the tow wait on my stepdad.

[Patrick Johnson]

Okay, one type. Hey, man, that's. We all been there before, bro. She ain't no joke.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, man, it's. Life just pissed me off.

[Patrick Johnson]

No, you good, bro. Another day, another dollar. Let's. Let's try to make it a good time right now. All right, what's something that breaks your heart to say but you have no choice?

[Caller/Guest]

Oh, my mama, the reason my dad cheated.

[Patrick Johnson]

He did just say a stepdad. Okay, it's starting to make sense. Okay, why you say that?

[Caller/Guest]

That n. Because I love my mom, but she. She nagged so much, and it's just like. I know she the reason this just, like, got up and like, I'm tired of this. She aggravating. I got. I just gotta go. And he just cheated on her. And that's the situation we in, man. I got a stepdad. Step mama.

[Patrick Johnson]

Wait, so, like, is your dad in your life?

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, yeah, my dad in my life.

[Patrick Johnson]

So you, like, so does she still nag to your stepdad?

[Caller/Guest]

Yes, he does, but my stepdad, he takes it, and I'm like, hell, no. I can't be. I told my mom, I say, you the reason my dad left, and I cannot have no woman like you, but I love you, mama.

[Carrie Nani]

Did your mom ever say, like, anything your dad did wrong as well in the relationship?

[Caller/Guest]

Nah, she just called him a teen ass.

[Patrick Johnson]

But, like, how you know that she wasn't nagging from something that she called fought him for before you even. Even born?

[Caller/Guest]

You know what I mean, bro? Because he told me the story. He said he.

[Patrick Johnson]

He told you. Okay, okay.

[Caller/Guest]

He told me. Yeah, I listen to both sides. He told me on the day that we were born, he was coming from Miami getting a wedding ring.

[Patrick Johnson]

Start over. Start the over. Start the over, bro.

[Caller/Guest]

He told me that he was coming from Miami with the engagement ring.

[Carrie Nani]

That's why he was in Miami. Where do you live before? Sorry, Sorry not to interrupt you. Oh, where do you live?

[Patrick Johnson]

Where were you born?

[Carrie Nani]

Or, like, what state?

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, what state? Georgia.

[Patrick Johnson]

Okay, okay, okay. Start. Start the story over.

[Caller/Guest]

All right, so he's say that he was going to get the wedding ring, and when he pulled up to the hospital, she's nagging, she's going at him like, oh, you cheating. You out here with all these other. And like that. And he was like, you think I'm cheating on you? I went to get this ring, and he said he threw the ring at her and was like this.

[Carrie Nani]

Oh, she just gave birth, though. You don't think she might be like, Hormones.

[Patrick Johnson]

He should have been there. Like, what? And how does he. Like, okay, so the thing about. So this is where your dad up at, right? So he just so happened to be coming back with the ring the same day that your mom went to labor. So he waited until your mom went into labor. He already had the ring. He was out there partying and. Because he like, damn, when I go back, my son gonna be born and my life is over with. So he was over there getting in, and then he took the ring like, come on, let's do this. Because ain't no way he wasn't with her a couple days. At least a couple days before you was born.

[Carrie Nani]

Boring.

[Caller/Guest]

He probably was. He probably wasn't. I just feel like it's her fault.

[Patrick Johnson]

Nah, the way he.

[Caller/Guest]

The way he explained it. The way he explained it, I'm like, damn, that's a up situation. But it is what it is.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah. I think you need to do a little bit more investigating, man.

[Jean Michelle]

I should.

[Caller/Guest]

How come y' all go see his ass tomorrow?

[Patrick Johnson]

No, you. I think you did need. I think you need your mom's side of the story. I think you. You not getting it all. Because what if. You know what I'm saying? Like, what if you're. What if you're the person you were having a kid with, cheated on you before you started? When you nag her.

[Caller/Guest]

It's deeper than that, though. It's deeper than that.

[Carrie Nani]

Yeah.

[Caller/Guest]

I live with this woman.

[Patrick Johnson]

Wait, how old are you?

[Caller/Guest]

21.

[Carrie Nani]

Oh, no.

[Patrick Johnson]

Get this off my.

[Carrie Nani]

I'm not gonna. Like, the more I'm in college, though.

[Caller/Guest]

I'm in college.

[Carrie Nani]

Don't make sense. It makes sense. I feel like one you shouldn't be getting involved in, like, the reason they broke up or anybody's fault. Shit happens as. Especially when you get. Kids are involved. As you get older, though, you start to realize whose fault is it? And you mature a little bit, you start to realize it. And it doesn't matter whose fault it is at the end of the day, because they're both in separate situations, right?

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah.

[Carrie Nani]

I still rock with both of them. Let them live their life. Don't matter who it is.

[Patrick Johnson]

You need to love your mama, though. You need to have some more understanding for her and, like, why she nagging.

[Caller/Guest]

Love my. I love my mom, man. I love her.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah, but you talking about you don't want no woman like her. You don't even know her, bro.

[Caller/Guest]

Bro, she nice too much. I love my mom, but she nice, bro.

[Carrie Nani]

All right, bro, you might just be really Needy as well, too.

[Patrick Johnson]

I don't like it.

[Caller/Guest]

I am a needy ass.

[Carrie Nani]

Okay? I would be nagging too.

[Patrick Johnson]

She like what? What does your mom do for you right now? Like, does she. I know I'm hip because I'm sure she helping you pay for college, right?

[Caller/Guest]

Hell yeah.

[Patrick Johnson]

I'm sure she's giving you food to eat as a 21 year old man.

[Caller/Guest]

All right, now I have a job. Come on now.

[Patrick Johnson]

I know you got a job, but the reason why you able to spend that money from your job so freely is because you live with who?

[Caller/Guest]

My mom?

[Patrick Johnson]

There you go, bro. Come on now. You nothing without her, you broke ass. No, you need to respect her, bro. Go give her a hug, bro. She nagging for a reason, bro. You're trying to make sure you don't end up like Pops, man.

[Carrie Nani]

So are you in a relationship?

[Caller/Guest]

Hell no. I don't do that.

[Carrie Nani]

Are you. Have you. Have you been in a relationship?

[Caller/Guest]

I'm a young. I'm a young bachelor, bro.

[Carrie Nani]

Okay, so have you been in a relationship, though?

[Caller/Guest]

Hell yeah.

[Carrie Nani]

And have you been faithful in those relationships?

[Caller/Guest]

Hell no. I'm the cheater. What you talking about?

[Patrick Johnson]

That's not a.

[Caller/Guest]

You need.

[Patrick Johnson]

You need your own bachelor pad to be a bachelor.

[Carrie Nani]

That's true. You can't be a bachelor living with your mom. And there's no problem living with your mom at 21. But yeah, you can't classify as a bachelor. Yeah, man, you're just a horny young. That's it.

[Patrick Johnson]

You like, you can't be a bachelor, bro. You have no car. No. No job.

[Carrie Nani]

No.

[Patrick Johnson]

You got a job. You ain't got no car. No house.

[Carrie Nani]

He has a car. Broken car.

[Patrick Johnson]

No, he does not have a car right now.

[Carrie Nani]

Whose car is that?

[Caller/Guest]

No, the car is broke. We're currently trying to fix this.

[Patrick Johnson]

We.

[Carrie Nani]

All right, bro.

[Patrick Johnson]

Remember, remember. Go get your mama a hug, bro.

[Caller/Guest]

All right, bro.

[Patrick Johnson]

Telling you sorry. Tell stepdad. Tell stepdad, be quiet now. Tweet of the week. Carrie sent me this. She said it says I have one. I want to say it says, if your baby is ugly, I'm not hiding my cigarette around it.

[Carrie Nani]

Oh, my God.

[Patrick Johnson]

Oh, no, no.

[Carrie Nani]

Who already said that? Are you going to hell?

[Jean Michelle]

That is the worst.

[Patrick Johnson]

No, no, no, no, no. You. You sent it to me.

[Jean Michelle]

No. It's almost bad because I was going to the grocery store today and I saw this lady have all her windows rolled up and she started smoking a cigarette. She had two babies in the back. And I said, oh, my God.

[Patrick Johnson]

Right? She.

[Carrie Nani]

Was it an older lady too, because grandma, sometimes I'll be giving the.

[Jean Michelle]

No, she hadn't been, like, in her late 30s.

[Carrie Nani]

Oh, no.

[Patrick Johnson]

Them kids would be all right. I grew up around a lot of smoke. I was. I'm good angle. I'd be tired as hell.

[Jean Michelle]

Did you have asthma?

[Patrick Johnson]

I got it.

[Carrie Nani]

Yeah. Bro, the funniest thing is discover your friend has asthma. Out of nowhere, bro.

[Jean Michelle]

What? They start wheezing because.

[Carrie Nani]

No, because I've done like, me and Pat been in a lot of athletic situations, like sports, everything. I've never seen this use an inhaler, right? Never. But we've done hoop runs. We've played 10 games straight. Never seen this inhaler. We're walking randomly on tour and like that. He just walk out of nowhere. We walk for a while and then they could just take out the inhaler. I was like, wait, what?

[Patrick Johnson]

Come on, bro. It's about, bruh. It's like, it only happened, like weird weather changes, like a vape or something.

[Carrie Nani]

I thought he was joked so much, I thought he was trolling.

[Patrick Johnson]

Bro. Bro, I literally. I literally take an inhaler. I literally take an inhaler probably like three times a year. And it's like, because I went through a crazy weather change and I worked out and I worked out outside. So that means, like, I ran and it was hot and it got, like, immediately cold. And for some reason, like, I can't take a full breath, bro. I'm about to die. So y' all laughing at that, bro?

[Carrie Nani]

Punch in your chest.

[Patrick Johnson]

No, that's crazy. And you literally diabetic, bro. No, I stuff a cookie down your throat. Not murder. For murder. Maybe put some glucose in your. Bro. Somebody said tweet. Somebody said I couldn't be a club owner. Starter dreads, $80 to get in. I do want to say that, though, if I was a club owner. If you don't look like you got your together or if you got your too much together, you can't come in club. Club should only be for people that, like, got their together, but they still got a little bit way to go. Like, they need a little break. And you got your together. What is you here for? Like, don't nobody want to see you popping bottles, smiling. And I just finished a nine to five. Like, I don't. I don't need to see you drop 80k in front of me and my girl. We trying to have a good time. God dam, boss man. DLO how many bottles this need? No, I'm just saying, like, I don't think it should be for it. They should have their own club. And then the people that's like, the people that like, come on now, bro.

[Jean Michelle]

You trying to separate the classes,

[Carrie Nani]

Pat. The red lines in the cities.

[Patrick Johnson]

I'm for real, bro. Like, district the country. Think about it, bro. Think how hype a club would be if it was only middle class people in that. That should be lit, bro. It wouldn't be no sections, no nothing. Everybody be looking like, man, we can't afford that.

[Jean Michelle]

You saying rich people ruin club culture, bro.

[Patrick Johnson]

They be it up. God damn. No wonder the shots in here 20 this spent 80k yesterday. They know I gotta be in here. I want to see none of that, bro.

[Jean Michelle]

Absolutely not.

[Patrick Johnson]

Okay, y' all want to know my new rule on a Friday?

[Carrie Nani]

What?

[Patrick Johnson]

Since I've been an entrepreneur, I had this rule on Fridays, get the fuck out the way. I. Bro, I don't know if you notice this, but on Friday, especially, like, where we from, it is wild. People are driving crazy. And I used to. And I used to get mad, like, every Friday. I'm like, bro, why is everybody tripping? And it's like, because my Friday, I've been off on Thursday. I. I worked half a day on Tuesday. I ain't do on Saturday. And it's like, these people just bust their ass for 60 hours, and I'm going 40 into 35. Chilling, listening to music. I'll be mad at me too. Like, get your ass out the way.

[Jean Michelle]

Stresses of life, man. I tell you, bro.

[Patrick Johnson]

I'm telling you, bro, you got to get the out their way. I gotta respect it. Y' all got the road, bro.

[Jean Michelle]

Or when it gets real hot, too. Just in general, when the weather get hot, the streets get reckless with the driving.

[Patrick Johnson]

Time to go, bro. It's like, well, where you going if it's I. My rule is if I see more than 12 wife beaters, I'm out in fighting attire, ready TR to go. Like, that's the perfect fighting attire, bro.

[Jean Michelle]

Okay, I want to ask Y' all about Dr. Cheyenne Bryant. Have y' all heard about it yet?

[Carrie Nani]

Yeah, yeah, I've seen it.

[Jean Michelle]

Okay, okay.

[Patrick Johnson]

No, fill me in.

[Jean Michelle]

Fill me in for a quick backstory. Fill me in up for sure. Dr. Cheyenne Bryant. She is a psychology expert and a life coach, and she is being called out right now because she's claiming that she's a doctor, but she does not have any proof or has not shown any proof that she actually graduated and has her doctorates, Right? And at this point, she's saying, listen, I don't Got nothing to prove to y' all because God told me that I'm good. But people are kind of giving her some backlash because she doesn't have a license. She. It seems as though she was lying about. About her even having her doctors in the first place because the college she went to shut down, shut down. And she's claiming she has no way to go get her transcripts. And I'm like, girl, what are you talking about?

[Carrie Nani]

That's. That's where she went wrong to me, when she was trying to. When she told that little run around story, she basically said the school closed down. And then the company that handles transcripts, the third party party, they no longer have the transcripts because it expires after two years. It's just like, that's not true. Anybody can get their transcript transcripts.

[Jean Michelle]

Plenty people come out and said, yeah,

[Carrie Nani]

people that went to that school then came out and said that I went here, like, before her, and I still got my transcripts.

[Jean Michelle]

And it's like, where's your dissertation if you're a doctor, that should be public for everybody to view. And she's just doubling down on the fact that she don't have her. And then like, she has it, but doesn't have her doctor.

[Patrick Johnson]

But she lied this long. Why would she let y' all stop her now? But.

[Carrie Nani]

And the thing you should saying, I never said I was a therapist. And then the thing about doing podcasts, a lot, you start to, you know, you start to talk and say things, and there's plenty of clips of her saying as a therapist and stuff like that.

[Patrick Johnson]

So.

[Carrie Nani]

So it's just like.

[Jean Michelle]

But she's not licensed.

[Carrie Nani]

I think in this Internet age, there's a lot of experts in the sense that don't have any credential, why they're an expert in that. And I think. I'm not saying she falls in that, but it kind of sounds like she might be falling into that just because it's just like, it seems like such an easy thing to prove. It doesn't. Like, I'm pretty sure she's well educated and everything. Like, she went.

[Caller/Guest]

She got her.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah, I knew she was l. When I saw that Dr. Brian chain. I said, nobody gets, like, I would never get like, podcaster Pat on my. You know, a podcast. Like, what the fuck?

[Carrie Nani]

I think she has an honorary. Honorary doctor doctor.

[Jean Michelle]

She has an honorary one. But I don't know. Do y' all feel like if you're giving somebody advice and you're doing it for your profession, that you should have Some sort of license for it, or you think it's just cool to just be the. A life coach?

[Carrie Nani]

I think life coach. If she's just saying she's a life coach, I think people can have. Have that, like the credentials of saying that I can give good advice. But obviously from like, a therapist, there's a lot more theories that kind of go into, you know, you're writing, like, dissertations and stuff like that. So I don't know.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah, it depends.

[Carrie Nani]

It depends on, like, what life, what type of life you're talking about. If you're talking about financial, like a financial coach. Is that right? Even as they say they didn't get the degree in anything financial, but they've been killing it on the market, in the stock market, and they know different ways to invest their money. Just like self talk. Right. Then you can say, no, that person can still be a financial coach or something. Not maybe like at a bank or anything. But I think it's different because I guess math is very black and white.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah. There's proof in it. Yeah, there's no proof in, like, life coach. She can't even talk about something that she did because it's probably private if the person is talking to him. Like, they don't want to talk about their life. So there's nothing she could prove about that. I think life coach is fine.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah.

[Patrick Johnson]

As long as it's like, okay, I just got a divorce. Where do I go? I'm a single mom. Maybe you a single mom or you got something that you've been through that can get me through it. But as far as, like, if someone is, like, literally saying I'm depressed or something like that, I feel like you should have a license for that.

[Carrie Nani]

Yes.

[Patrick Johnson]

I think, because that stuff can tie back to, like, book work and school work.

[Jean Michelle]

Because she was saying that, well, I've done my sessions with Cam Newton and I've done my sessions with Nick Cannon and B. Simone, and I'm like, are you talking about their podcast episodes? They sessions? Like, I don't get that part. But the life coach, like you said, I think that that's cool. But the whole psychology expert.

[Carrie Nani]

Yes. The psychology part is where, like, there's some, like, book work that happens in it.

[Patrick Johnson]

But what is masters in. In psychology? You know what I'm saying? I get that's not. That's not something that means that you get to talk to people about something.

[Jean Michelle]

Yeah.

[Patrick Johnson]

You still got to go do something with that.

[Carrie Nani]

Yeah. That's why people write those dissertations, because you can. They get peer reviewed by other therapists. And then you can be like, okay, like they agree with what you're saying because it is your opinion. Sometimes in those type of things, you're giving your opinion about something or writing a, a theory about something.

[Patrick Johnson]

So it's just like that dude that he went to jail, I think he was like a dentist or a doctor doctor. He was actually doing like a great job with his clients, but he wasn't licensed.

[Carrie Nani]

He was him.

[Patrick Johnson]

It might have been another one.

[Carrie Nani]

You're not talking about the Atlanta one, are you?

[Patrick Johnson]

Nah, it was some dude that was

[Jean Michelle]

funny looking dude with the glasses and he was acting like a doctor.

[Patrick Johnson]

One of them was doing okay. He wasn't doing crazy. He wasn't killing nobody. But I'm just saying, like, that's what she said. But I'm just saying, like, even like people that like, do stuff like, like hair or, or they're a barber without a license, it's something they are not learning when they don't get their license. It's just one thing. They might not have ran into it yet. Like, you know what I'm saying?

[Jean Michelle]

Like, yeah, yeah, no, I get that. I, I, I don't know if I'd sit in on a class though.

[Carrie Nani]

Yeah.

[Jean Michelle]

Like, would y' all have a session with her?

[Patrick Johnson]

I, I would, I wouldn't mind if it was free. I would have her. I would have her on the pod.

[Carrie Nani]

Like, I would too.

[Patrick Johnson]

I wouldn't even, like, I'm, I wouldn't go out on a limp. Like, I don't know if she's a doctor or not. Like, maybe she just like confused or something, you know what I'm saying? Like, maybe she is a doctor and maybe we confuse.

[Carrie Nani]

No, you can't say.

[Patrick Johnson]

But you can't say no defendable. You can be like 99. Sure.

[Carrie Nani]

No, I can never say she's working

[Patrick Johnson]

independent, you know, like an independent rapper.

[Carrie Nani]

Yeah, I won't say that she's not either. But I also would just say that I don't believe what the story she's telling. Yes, I definitely don't believe. Believe it.

[Jean Michelle]

I wish you would have just said, listen, I wanted to put Dr. In front of my name for the branding purposes and for marketing purposes because that just makes me look more credible.

[Carrie Nani]

She got an under degree, so she's

[Patrick Johnson]

like, she can't, she can't. I don't like that for branding purposes, cuz, like, like what if you. No, but Dr. Dre.

[Carrie Nani]

No, but Dr. Bro.

[Patrick Johnson]

No, she did cook. I'm just saying, like, Come on, now. It's either, like, right? Dr. Dream Ray. Nah, she can't do that.

[Carrie Nani]

Dr. Pepper.

[Patrick Johnson]

That's what I'm saying. She a soda or some Dr. Brian. Zeus sound like the off brand. Dr. Pepper.

[Jean Michelle]

Sound like toothpaste.

[Patrick Johnson]

Dr. Brian. Doctor. Or some foot soles. Dr. Brian. So my buttons don't even hurt no more.

[Carrie Nani]

Epsom salt. Yeah.

[Patrick Johnson]

Dr. Brian's Booty Cream. All right. Right. Somebody said if Jean sent me this. Somebody said, if my wife ever becomes paralyzed, just know I'm still eating that pair of ly.

[Carrie Nani]

Oh, my gosh.

[Jean Michelle]

Y' all freaked out.

[Carrie Nani]

N. Too freaked out, G. No more, bro.

[Patrick Johnson]

Somebody said, I'm at the liquor store helping them lift the gate up.

[Jean Michelle]

Them the people you want in the club?

[Patrick Johnson]

No, the. The people that. There's people that do, though you never realize it until you're doing something, like a special event. Like, you ever went to a casino with, like, as an event and stayed at the casino a little bit longer, you start to see people look like, oh, this is your home. Like, you're here in regular clothes. You ain't got no change jewelry on you, and some jogging pants like this look regular. Or you go to a liquor store at 11 o' clock, and you see, like, they talking like they know each other. What's up, Rob?

[Carrie Nani]

What's up, Jim?

[Patrick Johnson]

I'm here for a day party. What the fuck are you here for?

[Carrie Nani]

Nothing is like a showstopper more than like, I saw a real. About this. Your drunk friend, you put him in an Uber to go home to, back to the hotel, and y' all still enjoy your night out. And then you turn to your left and you see, like, commotion going on and getting turned, and it's a circle around, and you walk to the circle, and it's your friend right there who you sell. It's like, what?

[Patrick Johnson]

And.

[Caller/Guest]

And.

[Carrie Nani]

And it's almost like he got a recharge. Like, the nigga's about to die when you put him in the Uber. So he's like, like, yeah, he gonna go get to a room. Go straight to his room. And the nigga came back with more energy.

[Patrick Johnson]

I'm not gonna lie. The dirtiest shit I ever did. I feel like I was with a party, going to a club, and me and this guy that I had just met at my friend's birthday party was the last two in line, and he was kind of, like, drunk as hell, but I don't know him well enough to, like, get them together. So I'm like, you know what it is? What it is, but everybody talking about, make sure everybody good. Make sure everybody good. I'm like, I got him. I got him. And when we got to the door, they asked him to pull his ID out. And while he was pulling his ID out, he started to get dizzy and he fell.

[Carrie Nani]

Yeah.

[Patrick Johnson]

And they're like. They like, no, no, he can't come in. So, like, I went into the club and I was just partying for an hour, and, like, five pulled up over. They like, hey, where James at? I'm like, oh, yeah, I didn't tell y'. All.

[Caller/Guest]

He

[Patrick Johnson]

was like, that's my little brother. I was like, I barely know this thing.

[Carrie Nani]

I've done that. But the point was that they couldn't get into the club. Same situation. But then I'd be like, hey, bro, we about to go to another spot. And like that, you know, like, I'm gonna get. I get him an Uber and just get to wherever hotel he's at. Just hopefully he gets there. Because if he. I feel like you that drunk and you kind of like come to and you. He's gonna fall asleep in the back of the Uber for sure, right? He got a 15 minute ride, so I know when he wakes up, he probably's gonna be like, oh, shit, the night ended and already in their room. And until you get back. Until you get back on this phone. See everybody's story. So that story said three minutes ago.

[Patrick Johnson]

Like, wait, what?

[Caller/Guest]

That's like.

[Patrick Johnson]

That's like a. That's like a very great friendship because there's only certain people, like, I would not go into the club if they couldn't get out. Like, if we were in New York and we were all getting to a club, and they just looked at Gene and be like, oh, he said always. Because he always doing some, bro. No, I be. I got some. I got a bone to pick this. Jean. I thought I say this, but, like, Jean can't get in, right? And Jean is like, this is one of my best friends. So it's just like, okay, he can't get in. Where are we going next? But if it's just that, like, that awkward dude that was hanging around, you know, we was with a couple of them in New York and just met

[Carrie Nani]

them on the way, and they decided to follow you to the next.

[Patrick Johnson]

Just like, we'll see you in a minute.

[Carrie Nani]

I'm like, no, bro, it's probably not even popping in there, bro. I'm g. Just go inside and check real quick.

[Jean Michelle]

I got a. I got a question for y'.

[Caller/Guest]

All.

[Jean Michelle]

Then so let's say y' all in the club then, and somebody passes out because they're drunk or like, maybe they're dehydrated and they get kicked out of the club. Right? Are y' all leaving with them?

[Carrie Nani]

No.

[Patrick Johnson]

Who. Who are they to us?

[Jean Michelle]

They're your friends. Y' all all came together. Y' all are close. Y' all are friends.

[Patrick Johnson]

Close.

[Jean Michelle]

Yeah.

[Patrick Johnson]

Y' all are dehydrated and drunk.

[Carrie Nani]

I wouldn't leave, especially if I'm still having fun, because I feel like the friend group. No, because I think the friend group group that we, like, we hang out with, they would know. It's like, bro, I up to get in this position. I can't. I'm not gonna. I wouldn't want. If that was me, I wouldn't want nobody to. To. To leave like, nah, bro, I up y' all stay. Yeah, my night's over.

[Jean Michelle]

Ass out on the floor.

[Patrick Johnson]

Only if it's a woman. That's the only way the night shut down, cuz we got to protect her. But if it's a dude, dudes is

[Jean Michelle]

all man for ourselves

[Patrick Johnson]

battles.

[Caller/Guest]

All right?

[Carrie Nani]

Believe that.

[Patrick Johnson]

No, but definitely not. You know better than that. Like, we grown ass, man. Not at any age, really. Come on. I can't ruin the night.

[Caller/Guest]

Oh, my God.

[Patrick Johnson]

Come on. You know how they play floor. They'd be playing, like, flow ride at

[Carrie Nani]

the beginning of the club with women. That's your. That's your drunk friend. Then you have to go.

[Jean Michelle]

Yes.

[Patrick Johnson]

For protection.

[Carrie Nani]

Yes. Just like I. I kind of trust my friends to kind of, like, protect themselves as well.

[Jean Michelle]

Right.

[Carrie Nani]

But also. Also, he might be a danger to other people. So I might just make sure he. I might make sure you get home. At least make. That's why I make sure I make sure he gets home okay.

[Jean Michelle]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Patrick Johnson]

Okay. Last tweet, somebody said just saw a girl on Tick Tock say gas prices don't affect her because she puts 20 every time. I ain't gonna lie. Gas is high as hell, though.

[Carrie Nani]

No, it's hot.

[Patrick Johnson]

I'm not gonna lie. I'm ready like this to go back

[Carrie Nani]

to my Florida Explorer.

[Patrick Johnson]

No, no. He about to he the premium gas kicking my ass. But you might be cooking, Donald, because I might. I might have to sign up because I'm sick of this bro just put me.

[Jean Michelle]

Nah, it got me thinking about electric vehicles.

[Carrie Nani]

Nah, this. I paid 114 to fill my tank. No, man, I've never seen my in the hundreds before. I was like, wait, I didn't even know it Happened.

[Patrick Johnson]

That's what y' all voted, bro. That's what y' all voted for, man.

[Carrie Nani]

Bro.

[Patrick Johnson]

That's what y' all did, bro.

[Carrie Nani]

To the point I said started like, like saying like ah, I might just uber there. Even though it's still like a worst thing to do in a sense. But I don't feel like this is the longest I've like driven past like gas station. Usually I fill my tank up about like like 100 miles left, 80 miles left. I was filling my shit up when it's like 20 like Last Resort.

[Patrick Johnson]

Like it may bruh is getting dangerous. Like I've never like one. The thing that I'm confident about is like being in the suburbs at a gas station. Like I don't give a who around. I'm on my phone. I'm not worried about my surroundings. D, you gotta watch your back now. Like it's this big currency going on. Like might rob you for your gas. Like think of how up that situation would be like getting robbed for your guy. You know how long that process is. Yeah, like give. Give us that gas you just swiped for. Then they pull up their car behind you and then yo, and you still got to look at the price and see how much they ride for you. Like God damn.

[Carrie Nani]

Only $40. That's a small ass tank.

[Patrick Johnson]

Now did his boy pull up? Yeah.

[Carrie Nani]

Nah, gas is too high that over here. Oh, have you seen that trend, the spicy Polaroids trend?

[Jean Michelle]

No.

[Carrie Nani]

So it's a trend. I guess the. The wife, the bride is taking like spicy photos like maybe like lingerie whatever type of photos on Polaroids. And then they have the maid on. On her like sneak it to him. Sneak him to him throughout the night. Yeah, yeah.

[Jean Michelle]

Yes.

[Carrie Nani]

And there was like one that happened where she was. They were dancing on a dance floor and all the Polaroids like fell on the floor and you just see like everybody like scattering to that. I feel like

[Patrick Johnson]

I'm not.

[Carrie Nani]

I don't think I'm ever gonna have a wedding. But the one thing that I was always going to be nervous about was doing the. When somebody goes under the dress to kind of like cuz it's like I'm like I'm not going to look like. I'm either going to look like a complete nerd or I have to really go full full into it and then look like a real freak in front of my mom.

[Patrick Johnson]

They better turn their back.

[Carrie Nani]

No, I see that do like get like they start like putting their mouth like after my bro. Calm down.

[Patrick Johnson]

I'm not Doing business. I'm not doing that because at some point you got to be on all fours. That just throw me off. You know what I'm saying?

[Jean Michelle]

I just don't get the point of it. I'm all for breaking societal norms. Traditional stuff with weddings. Cuz some stuff is just weird. Like, why are we doing this in front of my. My grandfather and my mother and the three year old?

[Patrick Johnson]

No, with weddings, like, why the am I not eating while you getting married? You know what I'm saying? Like, give me a little snacky snack.

[Jean Michelle]

You want an appetizer?

[Patrick Johnson]

I'm just saying, like, y' all just got us sitting here watching this like, y' all know this boring as hell.

[Carrie Nani]

And then you start to find out the hierarchy in, like, your friendship when it's like, table one, you can stand up for your food now. And then you have. Yeah. Table 35. You're like, wait, no, I hate. He didn't even like that in college.

[Patrick Johnson]

One thing I. I hate being a DEI at a wedding, though. I hate that.

[Carrie Nani]

Oh, when it's all white people.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah. Then you, like, you look around like, hold on, man. This a personality invite certain song.

[Carrie Nani]

Come on. When I see, like, same race marriage usually like when you. When the se. In arrangement is like, groom on this side, bride on this side. Right. But on those mixed weddings, it's like, they try not to be racist. So it's like everybody. Everybody's families to mix it up because they know they got.

[Patrick Johnson]

They got Uncle Elroy next to auntie Elizabeth, now my nephew. So let me get this right. My nephew, your niece. Right. Husband. Leave alone.

[Jean Michelle]

That's trash.

[Carrie Nani]

Oh, man.

[Jean Michelle]

I was just at a wedding on Friday, and I was so happy because two of the people who I was supposed to be sitting next to, they didn't get come, so I took their plate.

[Patrick Johnson]

Oh, is that bogus? Yes.

[Carrie Nani]

No. It was paid for already.

[Jean Michelle]

Exactly.

[Carrie Nani]

It would have went away.

[Patrick Johnson]

It's bogus. It was paid. Nobody was there.

[Jean Michelle]

That is not bogus.

[Patrick Johnson]

She bogus. She knew it was Bo. That's why she asked us. Well, you took it to go.

[Jean Michelle]

I did anyway. Huh?

[Patrick Johnson]

You took it to go or like.

[Jean Michelle]

No, I ate it.

[Patrick Johnson]

Right. Put it away. She was hungry.

[Carrie Nani]

I don't think I. I don't think I've had. Have you had wedding food that was good enough to take home?

[Patrick Johnson]

No, I guess there's not really. I had some good wedding food.

[Carrie Nani]

I got good wedding food.

[Patrick Johnson]

My. My cousin Romaine's wedding. Top tier.

[Carrie Nani]

Yes. Okay.

[Patrick Johnson]

He has some. He has some un. That Was in there cooking.

[Carrie Nani]

That was different, though. That was like actual, like.

[Patrick Johnson]

That was some soul.

[Carrie Nani]

Yeah, Soul food was just like. There wasn't that many people either.

[Patrick Johnson]

That was some. That had your left arm tingling after.

[Carrie Nani]

Yes.

[Patrick Johnson]

That. Elizabeth, start getting lightheaded. That right there. Boy, that. That. Oh, my God, that so good.

[Carrie Nani]

I guess the last thing we can talk about. We never even talked about that. This dude, the whole time he was doing a thing was Chud the Builder.

[Patrick Johnson]

Oh. I kind of like. I'm glad we didn't.

[Carrie Nani]

I'm glad, too, because.

[Patrick Johnson]

Because we. Obviously we were going to be right. You know what I mean? It's like something bad was going to happen. I also didn't want to predict something else bad. I'm glad nobody lost their life.

[Carrie Nani]

Exactly.

[Patrick Johnson]

Even him. I want him to spend the rest of his life in jail.

[Carrie Nani]

Go ahead, Charlie. The Builder is a streamer who kind of goes around and starts telling antagonizing black people and saying, like, you're chimping out.

[Patrick Johnson]

And then call them N word with

[Carrie Nani]

a hard R and say, it's a free country.

[Patrick Johnson]

Like, freedom is basically using his quote, unquote, freedom.

[Carrie Nani]

Yeah. And then somebody threatens him. He says, I have a gun or I'm about to mace you type of thing. So. But he was getting. It was all over Twitter. That's why. That's like, I tell you, Twitter's not a real place. Because he was popular on Twitter, in a sense, in a little bubble.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah. He had like 220,000 followers from Twitter. I would say, like, half of them crazy were following him because they couldn't believe he was getting away with it. And then, like, half of them follow him because they racist. He's like, duh, there's a hundred thousand racist people on Twitter.

[Jean Michelle]

I'm here.

[Carrie Nani]

He. He does it in Nashville. So he knew. He knew better. But he. He got. He recently got shot. Well, he shot himself because somebody. He tried to shoot somebody. He actually did shoot somebody. And then the bullet grazed himself. And then now he's in jail for attempted murder awaiting trial.

[Patrick Johnson]

$1.2 million bond.

[Carrie Nani]

And you can see, like, the hurt on his face. Because the thing that we always. You can always say, like, we've always said, like, what's going to happen to him is going to happen. You can't live life to that extreme every day and expect nothing to happen.

[Patrick Johnson]

Now. Now he has a time collar.

[Carrie Nani]

Yeah.

[Patrick Johnson]

So hopefully. Hopefully his baby mama gets with a black dude. We'll see who really chipping out.

[Carrie Nani]

But I think the danger of, like, Even what he's saying is just that I'm starting to see just other people starting to say those words, like the chimping out. And especially like the younger generation. Like, there's like. Yeah, I think that can start, like, kind of like race wars, in a sense, in. In schools, especially people that are already getting bullied. Especially like those. The black kid that might be at a predominantly white school. And it's just like, they might not say, like, the heart, the hard R N word, but they still be like, the chimping out thing, it's just like, oh, he's jumping out, chipping out. I've heard, like, I've just seen random people on. On Twitter doing the same thing that Chubb was doing, but not in that sense, but trying to be more slick with it.

[Jean Michelle]

Keep it up. You're gonna find the right one.

[Carrie Nani]

You're always gonna find it's a numbers game.

[Patrick Johnson]

And he found. I think he kept running into people that sort of kind of knew who he was. Especially after. After, like the beginning ones went so viral because nobody could believe it. He kept running into people that were either aware of the camera right away or they kind of knew who he was. But then he finally ran into somebody that's like, off the grid. They don't know shit. They just see some white dude holding up a crown, a camera, saying racial slurs. So that he got at him and then he thought like. Like shooting them. You can't antagonize somebody and shoot them. Like, it don't work like that, bro. You're not gonna get off scot free. Put it like that.

[Carrie Nani]

It's a numbers game, bro.

[Jean Michelle]

That's why this streamer coach culture is very dangerous when you think about it, because. And it's going to get worse, I feel like, too, because people are trying to be more creative and do more outlandish things just for the likes and the views. But listen, you live by it.

[Carrie Nani]

You, You. Yeah, I just think. I think it's like people are going to start seeing there's no longevity in it. Like, there's going to time where it's like, you've said so much crazy. I mean, like, this is a streamer named Sneako, right? He was dancing, or he had. It was in the car with Andrew Tate in them, and it was playing the Hitler song by Kanye, right? And now he's. He was banned from going to Australia. He just found out he was banned from going to Australia. A lot of these streamers are getting banned from going to countries. Like, you're getting banned from entering a country is. It's.

[Patrick Johnson]

And they got the money to go.

[Carrie Nani]

Yeah, they have the money to go. So it's just gonna keep happening. Like, he's banned from nightclubs in Miami because I guess the big Jewish community there too. So it's just like they're gonna start to realize little by little that a lot of this they're doing is not worth it. And hopefully nobody dies before they find out.

[Jean Michelle]

How old are these people too? Like, do they be.

[Patrick Johnson]

No, they be ranging.

[Carrie Nani]

They be old is probably like our age.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah, he might be older. And he got a daughter, a toddler daughter. Like, it's just like, bro, these dudes.

[Carrie Nani]

Nah, clout.

[Patrick Johnson]

No, that's a bad part about the clout is that the dude that did that to ch, right, he got shot. He might even do some jail time for aggravated assault. And like, that doesn't happen regularly. Like, I can walk down. Down these streets all the time. And even if someone doesn't like me before I get into it with somebody, they is rarely are they going to say something that gets me out of my skin. Because the people know what that comes with. And he's going saying that to other people and getting people. Like, that dude would never do. If. If Chuck went by him and called him a dude would have probably just called him a back and they just had a screaming match. But the fact that he said something that was so outlandish. Now you got another person in jail. Could have killed.

[Carrie Nani]

Killed them.

[Patrick Johnson]

I know, they're crazy.

[Carrie Nani]

Remember, freedom of speech isn't freedom of consequences. That's like the bingo. It's like the. For the people that says, if it was a white person doing this or a black person, again, like we always say, just do it.

[Patrick Johnson]

But I just know it's just.

[Carrie Nani]

No, you'll find out. It's just like, you have to just come go be okay with the consequences that happen to you from doing whatever type of thing you do.

[Patrick Johnson]

It's just no such thing as freedom of speech then. That's the thing. It's just like, I think people look at freedom of speech as like, oh, the government can't do anything about what I said. But the government isn't the only thing that can stop you from doing.

[Jean Michelle]

And they can too.

[Carrie Nani]

Yeah, yeah.

[Patrick Johnson]

And they can't. At the end of the day, like, it really ain't freedom of speech. Like, honestly, like, there's so many things that humans go through and do. Like, you don't think, like, you break one small law. You know what I'm saying if you do one small thing and the government don't like what you saying, they gonna tap into that small thing. They're gonna know that license not registered on time. Oh my God. They're gonna put you in jail for 20 years for bad. For bad sticker.

[Jean Michelle]

Hey, real quick, before you rap, I know you about to rap, I need to know y' all opinion on that whole AP Swatch conversation.

[Patrick Johnson]

What's the conversation? Oh, what ddg.

[Carrie Nani]

They're just people. Ap.

[Jean Michelle]

AP did a, A collab with Swatch. You know, AP watches are like 30,000 plus dollars, right. But now with this collab, they made it more affordable for everybody. And over the weekend it dropped and people were getting into fights, police got involved. It was actually really crazy for people to get these affordable AP watches. But people who pay for like the 30,000 plus ones are like, what's up with this? Like, I had to pay X amount and now you making it affordable, like why they can't mess with me.

[Carrie Nani]

You know, the up part is I'm seeing a lot of people complaining about it who don't own APs or can't afford APs. And that's like the annoying part for me. It's like they're going to lower down the value of the, the APs, the

[Jean Michelle]

Royal Oaks, which don't even have.

[Carrie Nani]

You don't have it.

[Patrick Johnson]

And then if they do have it, you didn't buy it from ap. It's like you're not even official, official customer of them. So like, why are you complaining about a company that never even, you never even bought from, you don't even have an account with.

[Carrie Nani]

So it's just like, it's like elitism too. It's just like I want to keep people as far away from my level.

[Jean Michelle]

Yeah.

[Carrie Nani]

Or I don't want anybody to have access to like an easier access to get to the level I. I'm at right now or the items, the things I own.

[Jean Michelle]

But I think it's also corny for the people who are like fighting other people just to get this.

[Carrie Nani]

That happens though. They do that for shoes and like that. So that's just normal.

[Patrick Johnson]

It's probably a lot of.

[Carrie Nani]

Yeah, there's a lot, there was a lot of resellers.

[Patrick Johnson]

You know, people be in the house, people stay in the house, they don't jump off the porch and then they'll see some Swatch release like that. And that'd be their first time doing an event in seven months and somebody has shoulder bumped them and they didn't watch so much Internet and TV that they think they supposed to swing on a person. You're going to jail. Dumb. You ever see people fighting and like these people over here, just like you'll see like at a concert hurt or like down in Houston, like when it's like something going on, a festival going on and you'll see like people fighting and the police breaking that up. And then you'll see people fighting right next to the police and they're just like this not registering in your head. My, like you're about to get mazed.

[Carrie Nani]

So that's why sometimes I won't even try to break up a fight because that's how you get, that's how you get swung on. The biggest fights I always see like the, the way fights, the way I see fights continue the most is someone they fighting, squabbling for maybe like 10 seconds, right. Somebody tries to break them up, right. The person that's trying to break it up gets pushed like super aggressively. He's like, don't push me like that. And they start fighting. So it's like, it's just a never ending thing. And the, that you beat the, that got his ass beat, gets up and recovers and now they're jumping the.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah. It's funny.

[Jean Michelle]

The dude who don't got nothing to do with none, but he's just trying to get involved some way shape or

[Patrick Johnson]

size trying to, trying to hop out

[Jean Michelle]

the circle and in it.

[Patrick Johnson]

It's always weird to me, the, the dude that breaks up the fight if he's breaking like, if it's a guy, girl. They're trying to break up the fight because their person is losing.

[Carrie Nani]

Yeah.

[Patrick Johnson]

So technically isn't that like jumping in a sense? You know what I mean? Like you're trying to reset something. When that person got the advantage.

[Carrie Nani]

I would jump in as my friend is getting his ass beat.

[Jean Michelle]

Yeah. You want to stop it?

[Carrie Nani]

I would stop trying to stop it at that point because it's like to a point, it's like if he's up, it's just like when somebody's throwing in the white, white towel. It's like I'm throwing in the white towel for my boy.

[Patrick Johnson]

Now you, I feel like you gotta like always did like the, the fake jump in.

[Carrie Nani]

Yeah.

[Patrick Johnson]

Because you gotta fake run in and then hop out because you gotta see who's trying to meet you there.

[Carrie Nani]

Exactly.

[Patrick Johnson]

Because you know, so many people go into a spot where they like, oh, I ain't see this dude with nobody. I'm about to go grab my partner, and then next, you know, all five dudes that was watching the fight was with him.

[Carrie Nani]

They came there together.

[Patrick Johnson]

You should have just let that one on one happen and you would have made it out. Now y' all both getting your ass whooped. Yeah. Crazy way to end the fight. Remember Toronto? Make sure y' all pop out. Detroit, make sure y' all pop out. Detroit is like a big theater, so make sure y' all get y' all tickets early because, like, once the ball starts rolling is. I feel like it's already like 40 sold out. Once the ball starts rolling on Detroit, we got a lot of family and friends coming that still haven't got their ticket. And I 100 know they're going to get their ticket it, so. And they're. They're lazy and they gonna be late as hell. So if you try to wait until like, three or four days before, you might miss out. And don't, don't, don't try to knock on that door, bro.

[Carrie Nani]

All right, y', all, peace.