The Brokest Thing You’ve Ever Done - Episode 224

Summary

Crash Dummies Podcast – Episode 224

Title: The Brokest Thing You’ve Ever Done
Date: September 17, 2025
Hosts: Patrick Johnson (Pat), Michael Esiobu (Mike)
Guest: Gene (appears throughout)
Theme: Exploring the funniest and most desperate moments of being broke, current events, relationship quandaries, and candid storytelling with audience call-ins.

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Overview

In this episode, Pat, Mike, and recurring guest Gene host a lively, unscripted discussion centered around the theme: “The Brokest Thing You’ve Ever Done.” From confessions of cash-strapped antics to debates about private thoughts versus search history, the trio blends absurd humor, vulnerability, and sharp observations on culture, relationships, and society. Listeners call in to share their own stories of financial desperation, with the hosts reacting in their signature unfiltered style.

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Key Discussion Points

1. Awkward Male Bonding & Vocabulary Fails

Timestamps: 01:00 – 04:40

• The episode opens with the hosts joking about male friendship dynamics and awkward conversations about “getting ass.”
• Mike mangles the word "repertoire," which sets off a running bit about pronunciation and being vulnerable with verbal slip-ups.
  • Quote: “You gotta say it like ‘repertoire.’” – Gene (02:06)
  • Mike: “Just know that I'M being vulnerable.” (02:30)

2. Personal Style, Confidence & Playing it Safe

Timestamps: 04:41 – 06:43

• Chat about personal fashion and wearing bold versus safe clothing choices.
• Mike admits he plays it safe, while Gene encourages breaking fashion comfort zones.
  • Quote: “Sometimes I get some crazy top before I pick out my outfit.” – Gene (05:59, playful innuendo)
• They laugh at themselves for stuttering and “forgetting to talk normal” as soon as the mic is on.

3. Race, Sports Rivalries, and the Crawford Fight

Timestamps: 06:53 – 12:43

• A nuanced discussion of race and sports fandom, referencing the Terrence Crawford fight.
• The hosts highlight the healthy boundaries of sports banter versus real-life hostility.
  • Quote: “When it’s over, it’s over... it’s like all fun and games.” – Gene (07:21)
• Gene and Mike agree that “being wrong” about sporting outcomes is fine, and caution against toxic fandom.
  • Mike: “With bets in general, it’s okay to be wrong. Or predictions, predictions—not bets.” (08:59)
• They compare big-money boxing matches to hypothetical NBA showdowns and debate Crawford’s legacy and possible retirement.

4. Rise of Celebrity-Driven Boxing & Tech Tangents

Timestamps: 12:43 – 16:06

• The trio expresses appreciation for the entertainment (if not the purity) that figures like Jake and Logan Paul bring to boxing.
• They discuss Apple’s new translating AirPods and imagine using them for “real talk” or at nail salons.
  • Gene: “I wish it translated, like, when people are being passive-aggressive!” (13:18)
• Mike warns that new tech can be used to surreptitiously listen in or bluff knowing languages on dates.

5. Conspiracy Theories, Public Distrust, and Social Media Narratives

Timestamps: 16:06 – 18:49

• Discussion pivots to fame-mongering after tragedy (“Charlie Kirk and Martin Luther King Jr. is crazy insane.” – Gene, 16:08).
• They joke about online ignorance, like people assuming everyone with a Discord is a secret agent.
• Both agree conspiracies thrive when the government admits previous lies, and misinformation spreads quickly in the tech age.

6. Audience Calls: "What's the Brokest Thing You've Ever Done?"

Timestamps: 31:30 – 45:45 (Main call-in block)

Standout Call-Ins:

• Caller 1 (32:00): Pretended to be gay for a day for $40 and free drinks, ending up as the “big spoon” for a night just to afford gas for work.
  • Quote: “A responsible scammer is crazy.” – Mike (34:54)
• Caller 2 (36:00): Used his girlfriend's period pads as toilet paper during a broke spell (“it was my character development arc” – 37:08).
  • Mike: “People’s circumstances are people’s circumstances.”
  • Gene calls out the hygiene ("Did you have a car, bro? …You could’ve found a dollar somewhere!")
• Caller 3 (45:55): Set up Tinder dates for free dinners during a rough patch in Arizona. Averaged five dates per week; sometimes hooked up with the guys, but not always.
  • Gene: “So you had a little, like, six or seven dudes?” (47:52)
  • The conversation humorously probes the ethics and logistics.
• Caller 4 (51:04): Discusses being used for sex by a woman who "glazed" him with compliments—classic red flag conversation gone awry.
• Caller 5 (53:35): Shares story of underestimating a frat’s "girl-stealing" prowess, as his girlfriend becomes obsessed with campus fraternity “noops.”
  • Quote: “Yeah, she gone, brother.” – Gene (57:19)

7. Other Hilarious Calls & Relationship Red Flags

Timestamps: 57:47 – 63:44

• Red flags callers are attracted to:
  • Drug dealers with guns (Caller 6, 58:31): “I think it’s because I’m more educated than them, so maybe I could teach them to be better.”
  • Gene: “You want a little project.”
• Stories about dating types, meeting ex-athlete drug dealers, and loving the “project” of transformation.

8. Social Rituals, Awkward Interactions, and Culture

Timestamps: 63:44 – 71:50

• Pat shares a story from a farmer’s market, where the vendor asks his girlfriend, “Can I feed you?” leading to a riff on vendor sales tactics and accidental “square up” moments.
• Observations on handshake etiquette, fist bumps, and feeling “disrespected” by a damp hand or half-hearted dap.

9. Can We Talk? On Communication Anxiety and Scheduled Confrontations

Timestamps: 85:59 – 88:33

• The “We need to talk” text drives Mike nuts, especially when the conversation is delayed for hours.
  • Mike: “You have to have that conversation there and then.”
  • Gene: “Call me a narcissist, whatever…If the therapist brought that up, I just put up the double bird!”

10. Tweet of the Week & Pop Culture Observations

Timestamps: 88:30 – End

• Gene’s favorite tweets include jokes about Spirit Halloween’s ubiquity and the myth that men never end relationships first.
• Reflections on childhood discipline, teacher calls to parents, and how pride and disappointment shaped their responses.
• Discussion about the ideal way parents should mix pride and discipline for their kids.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On fighting sports and fandoms:
  • “You got a man with unlimited money who happens not to be in the United States…This is like somebody having enough money to see LeBron vs. KD with even teams.” – Gene (09:37)
• On “can we talk” anxiety:
  • “I never want a ‘can we talk’ that isn’t right now.” – Mike (86:19)
  • “That’d be low-key toxic. You know what you’re doing.” – Gene (87:45)
• On private thoughts vs. search history:
  • “She do not need to know I do not like that hairdo.” – Gene (24:48)
  • “I have thoughts I think only because I’m doing the opposite.” – Gene (26:00)
• On fashion risks:
  • “Sometimes you just gotta support your girl. It is that one little hairdo or one little makeup thing she do. And it’s just like, that’s just for her.” – Gene (25:04)
• On red flags:
  • “Drug dealers and money…with guns.” – Female caller (58:31)
  • “So you want a little project.” – Gene (59:15)

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Segment Timestamps

• 01:00 – 04:40: Banter about friendship, language mix-ups
• 04:41 – 06:43: On personal style and outfit confidence
• 06:53 – 12:43: Boxing, sports, race, hype vs. reality
• 12:43 – 16:06: Celebrity boxing & Apple AirPods translation feature
• 16:06 – 18:49: Conspiracy theories and misinformation
• 31:30 – 45:45: Main call-in segment: “What’s the brokest thing you’ve ever done?”
• 57:47 – 63:44: More call-ins: relationship red flags & preference confessions
• 63:44 – 71:50: Market vendor stories, handshake rituals, male etiquette
• 85:59 – 88:33: Anxiety over "we need to talk" texts
• 88:30 – End: Tweets of the week, discipline, and growing up

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Tone and Language

• Language is casual, irreverent, and openly comedic.
• No filter—lots of slang, innuendo, and NSFW jokes, but also pockets of thoughtful, vulnerable conversation.
• Heavy emphasis on quick-witted banter, “roasting” each other and guests with affection.

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Conclusion

Crash Dummies’ 224th episode is a lightning-paced mix of bro banter, cultural critique, and hilarious storytelling—particularly from audience call-ins revealing their lowest-budget life hacks. The hosts keep things playful but real, balancing absurdity with wisdom about relationships, trust, and self-worth. Listeners will laugh out loud at the antics and find relatability in the reflections on growing up, friendship, and making do with less.

Subscribe to the Patreon for bonus content and community Discord!

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End of Summary

Transcript

[Mike]

Martha listens to her favorite band all the time. In the car, gym, even sleeping. So when they finally went on tour, Martha bundled her flight and hotel on Expedia to see them live. She saved so much, she got her seat close enough to actually see and hear them, sort of. You were made to scream from the front row. We were made to quietly save you more Expedia made to travel savings vary and subject to availability. Flight inclusive packages are atoll protected.

[Caller/Guest]

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[Mike]

And it was a. It was a feature with Burner Boy too. So it's just like. It just like if we. And you were walking down and we're like. And we both were singing. We getting. Tonight. We get. It's just so random to me. It's like, why are we singing in unison about this?

[Gene]

I don't know, like two. Like two people that want to get at the same time and they're communicating about it. It's just like. It just throws me off. No matter what your preference is, if you two aren't attracted to each other, I think that's weird as hell.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Gene]

Yo, bro, do you want to get fucked tonight? I mean, not by me, just in general, bro. Hell yeah, bro. Let's go to a strip club.

[Mike]

Since we go horny, I don't think, bro.

[Gene]

You horny? Hell yeah. I'm just thinking about going to the strip club. Let's go.

[Mike]

I don't think that's ever been in my, like, Weber talk. Rep. Repar. What am. What am I looking for?

[Gene]

The reptar.

[Mike]

What am I looking for? Save me. Somebody say me.

[Gene]

Repertoire. Huh? Repertoire.

[Mike]

No, you guys can't say that. The same repertoire.

[Gene]

You got to say it like repertoire.

[Mike]

Word. What word?

[Gene]

How do you say it?

[Mike]

That word.

[Gene]

Harder than Bud Crawford. God damn, I said it good the first time. My second time I was like, God, no.

[Mike]

Because you're using Gina as like a backtrack repertoire.

[Gene]

It's not in his repertoire.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah, but it's not in that word.

[Gene]

You gotta speed, pass it. Repertoire.

[Mike]

And then people gonna be like, oh, Mike, you can't speak and stuff. I could have cut this out and this would never been in the pod. Just know that I'M I am being vulnerable. Oh my God. Let just keep going.

[Gene]

The more just keep you, man.

[Mike]

Come on now. First minute is crazy.

[Gene]

I'm just saying.

[Mike]

Anyway.

[Gene]

What was I gonna say?

[Mike]

I said I've never. That's never been in like my playing cards of things to say. Like to say like, hey, bro, I'm going out and I'm like, I'm about to get so much ass tonight, bro.

[Gene]

Yo, bro, I'm not gonna lie. I guess the only time it like, matter is when we were in high school or college.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Gene]

And then you see your boy pick up a girl, and then he looked at you like, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's about to go down. And it's like, okay, that's your first time. But like, if it's a dude and his girlfriend, like, yeah, bro, we about to go in here and like, come on now. Like, why would I want to be in the same vicinity that hole right.

[Mike]

Out of exactly what I just did. Exactly what little baby got mad at.

[Gene]

What do you.

[Mike]

I shook up with you for saying a regular word.

[Gene]

Oh, yeah, that makes. But I get that because a lot of people, you know, be assuming just because how people talk they uneducated. So he was trying to debunk a rumor. Like, hey, feed into that joke because that's. That's the worst thing that could possibly happen. Somebody feed into your joke. But for new listeners. Go ahead, Mike.

[Mike]

It's definitely harder though, with musicians as well, because a lot of them haven't gone to college. Like, we still have. Like, we can still fall back and say we got a 3.0 in college and got our degrees and stuff like that. And, you know, they don't really have much to really go off of their intelligence sometimes. But anyway. Welcome to crash dummies, episode 224. That was the longest intro ever. But make sure you guys subscribe to the Patreon. We just dropped an episode there. We got Gene with us here today. I think every episode you gotta give people what inspired your outfit. Do you name your outfits?

[Gene]

You know what somebody. Somebody was commenting on. I just started reposting like some of my fits and again, you know, I'm saying. And somebody kind of like, gave their advice or like, I guess feedback telling me that they didn't. Like, they like when I dress like years. The way I dress years ago, like vintage and shit like that. So I just put on some like, shit. I thrifted, I guess. I feel like. So there's. There's never. I wouldn't say there's never been a time. Yeah, but like, I'll never take 100% of what jeans wearing and apply it to myself. No, we just not in the same atmosphere. Yeah, it's not. When you can appreciate about Gene is like the colors he puts together and he gives you ideas for colors and schemes and stuff. Like, okay, I might not wear that, but I'm aware of something similar that I'm comfortable in. And you appreciate, like, the colors. Oh, damn. I didn't even think about the blue and yellow scheme, you know, like, in putting that together. So you appreciate people like that and it works.

[Mike]

And it works for him too. I think with those things, it's always about how confident you are when you wear some of your fits. That's. I. I play it safe. I'm not even going to lie. I'm never. I'm not going to be like the super fashion critique. I think I have good style, but I also know I play it, like, somewhat safe. Like, I'll put like a crazy top on, but then my bottoms are crazy. It's so weird.

[Gene]

He just did his crazy top on. Sometimes I get some crazy top.

[Mike]

It's so crazy, bro.

[Gene]

Before I pick out my outfit.

[Mike]

Oh, my God.

[Gene]

I get what you're saying. You put a. You put a crazy top on, but.

[Mike]

You go regular on the bottom.

[Gene]

Yeah, you heard it here first. But yeah, that Sometimes I feel like I should play it more safe, but sometimes I don't give a fuck. Yeah, you, like, try to push yourself and then you be like, this was a bad outfit, but these pants are fire.

[Mike]

Yes.

[Gene]

You recognize, like, why it's a bad outfit because there's a reason why you put on the bad out outfit. There has to be something that you really, really like. Out.

[Mike]

Out of it. Damn.

[Gene]

I can't talk to them.

[Mike]

I swear. We were talking so normal before this. As soon as we hit record. Nothing like this. Can't speak English.

[Gene]

Stuttering all through this. I don't care, though.

[Mike]

I don't really know. We could talk about the Crawford fight.

[Gene]

See, I. I want. I want white people to hear this. Okay, no, not. Not to. Not to point you guys out, but this is how you have a proper race. Like, this was perfect. The worst thing I did was type the couple sombreros. You know what I'm saying?

[Mike]

Like.

[Gene]

You know what I'm saying? Like, it never gets too bad.

[Mike]

Yes.

[Gene]

Between us. And it's respectful and, like, when it's over, it's over.

[Mike]

But, like, it's like, it's like all fun. And games type of thing.

[Gene]

Yeah. But like, when it's like Caitlin Clark, Angel Reese, y' all get to bringing up water fountains and shit now. Like, like, come on, bro.

[Mike]

That is so true.

[Gene]

Like, bro, it's basket. Ended up on the topic of segregation. Like, why are we debating Ruby Bridges? I don't get it.

[Mike]

Yeah, it was. Especially because this has always been like the thing, the Mexican versus the black people type of. Type of eyes. And yeah, I've never really seen. There's obviously some people that take it too far.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Mike]

But I've never really seen it. Like, this is a fight. It's like the best going against the best. And it's like, it is what it is.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Like none. And it's. It's already a violent sport. So I feel like sometimes the violence just leave it there.

[Gene]

Yeah, it's already. They already fighting. Ain't no point for us to fight. But no, it was a great event.

[Mike]

Great event, great fight.

[Gene]

I think this is like the first time, like, where the hype met the actual match and the surroundings of it. The vibes was good. Obviously, I got the result I wanted. I'm team Crawford. Shout out to Omaha 402. We did it, right? BSR.

[Mike]

Yeah. We both. I think we both picked Crawford, but we also said we're not. Because a lot of people try and make me pick out loud and be like, oh, I'm also not going to be like the biggest. Like, oh, I told you so. Because with this fight, the reason it was so great, because it was a lot of unknowns in the fight. Right, Right. And when you have unknowns, I think some people don't want to be wrong or when people are right about the result and be like, oh, I'm this. This boxing expert. And with bets in general, it's okay to be wrong. Or predictions, predictions, not bets. Yeah, yeah.

[Gene]

Gamble safely with predictions.

[Mike]

It's ok. Be wrong, especially if you have an informed prediction. Like if I said I thought Crawford is going to win because of this. That, that. Right. But if I just said I'm picking Crawford, Canelo's a bum. This and that. And then Canelo ended up winning. Yeah. That's like you made a prediction based and you're wrong about somebody being a bum.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Mike]

But if you make a safe, no insult type of prediction, you just think this dude's a better boxer or better at this sport.

[Gene]

Canelo's gonna watch, bud. Never fought anybody. Just like when you put people down also just realize, like, this wasn't supposed to happen.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Gene]

Like you got a man with unlimited money who happens not to be in the United States. You know what I mean? That helps too. And he's a big boxing fan. So these two people are never in any other realm. They never cross paths, they never throw punches.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Gene]

Like, this is like somebody having enough money to just be like, I want to see LeBron vs KD with even teams in the finals for seven games and I'm paying for it. Like, this is like a pay for match made in heaven. So this, like, pick it. Like, when people be acting like they write about the Super Bowl. They both got to the super bowl, dumb fuck. Like, they even teams. Yeah, I told you. OKC will pull it out. Indiana, some bombs. Some bombs. Some bombs that got to the finals and they lost about one game after their best player went down. Like, what do niggas be thinking, bro? I don't get it.

[Mike]

It was a great fight. Crawford's definitely cemented as the goat. I think it's crazy.

[Gene]

One of the goats.

[Mike]

Yeah, one of the goats. But I think just what. What he did for sure is winning all the belts in three different weight classes is something that I don't think people know how hard it is. And the people he beat, and hopefully this too does. Makes. Makes it seem like. Because when people. When he beats Spence, people are calling Errol Spence a bum. And I hate in boxing especially, everybody can't be the best. Everybody can't be number one. So just because you're not number one doesn't make you a bum, doesn't make you less than. It just means you're just not better than this person. You're still great. You're just not the greatest.

[Gene]

Yeah, but that's like, okay, look at, like, look at Canelo. Like, Canelo's been a face of boxing for 15 years.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Gene]

So that means everybody think of Canelo didn't exist then. That person that you call in a bomb that lost a Canelo would be the greatest of all time and you wouldn't know any better. So, like, some. Some people be calling, like, people Bonds. Like, bro, you just watch this on Netflix.

[Mike]

To close. Then I think it's for Crawford. I think it's. I think he's good to retire.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Mike]

I don't think any fight that he has coming up next, I don't think it adds to his legacy. It only can take away, like, he can. He'll beat. He'll beat anybody. I feel like he can beat anybody that comes his way. But there's still a box. Anything can happen he can face Benavidez and Benavidez might be him. And then now it's like, oh, is he the greatest anymore? And he wouldn't get anything like that much. That must cache for beating Benavidez. I'd be like, yeah, he was great. We already knew he was great. So it doesn't. That's. I think he should retire.

[Gene]

But yeah, I don't know if he should retire yet. I do. This is why I like the celebs stuff. I love the celeb stuff like the Logan Paul, Jake Paul and shit like that. People would get mad at that. But I think like that's going to help us appreciate our boxers even more. Like in two or three years, if Logan or Jake Paul still got something going and they call out Terence Crawford, I get to see Terence Crawford beat the shit out of one of the Paul brothers. You know what I mean? And it's like, and I thank the Paul brothers for that. And I think like that's the, like the route to go because a lot of these boxers don't want to risk their career and stuff. That's why I feel like Javante taking that route. And so that's going to be like Javante gets to be more entertaining. He doesn't have to lock as much in. Like I think boxing is going to be fun again. So that's going to be dope.

[Mike]

It definitely the entertainment aspect is going to be addicting.

[Gene]

Going for American. Isn't that crazy? That man, that's crazy, man.

[Mike]

Well, they have the new AirPods that can translate different languages and man, I can't wait to get them because I just want to go wear them at the nail salon. I'm not going to lie. There's going to be a lot of. I feel like those, the people at the nail salon could be a lot more quieter during feet washing time.

[Gene]

Yeah, here is Mike Howard. No, that'd be crazy.

[Caller/Guest]

I hope.

[Gene]

I wish it translated. Like when people are being passive aggressive. Yeah, like you got them on and just like somebody just like, yeah, go ahead. You can go right in front of me just like, damn, what you gonna cut me? Fuck, nigga, Go ahead, have it. Hold on, hold on. Bro, my translations say you talking shit. Nah, I mean, you know what I'm saying? Like people that's like looking for a fight and sh.

[Mike]

Because even in fighting that happens. Like when the translator says something that the fighter is saying and they don't say it the same way. Yeah, they haven't got that pizzazz in it.

[Gene]

What argument did I see Is somebody was just like, no, say what he really said, because the translator just kept cutting it off. He was like, he says that you're not really ready for the fight. And he's like, no, he's been talking longer than that.

[Mike]

That's gonna make it really dope. It's gonna make it dope, though, for the translation thing, too.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Going to different countries, not really having to it. I guess it's easier to understand people because I think in most countries, for me, I feel like I just need to say yes or no.

[Gene]

No. I think some people are going to use it as a lie, though.

[Mike]

What do you mean?

[Gene]

Some people going to, like, sneak them on somehow and just be like, oh, I'm listening to music and stuff like that. And they'll be like, yeah, girl, I speak your language and stuff like that. And they, like, know how to reply to different stuff after hearing it. And then it go. It go. It died down halfway through the date. Shit. What you talking about? You got. He said to the crib, this with.

[Mike]

Your fingers and.

[Gene]

God damn, you wanna.

[Mike]

Fall stupid, you pull out your card and, ow, 40, 60, 80.

[Gene]

You got the. The currency thing up on. Look, this worth more than y'.

[Mike]

All.

[Gene]

Look, the $40 in the exchange rate.

[Mike]

It'S in her favor.

[Gene]

That's two bands over here. God damn. Okay. I know a lot of people want us to comment on the Charlie Kirk thing. I won't comment directly on that because I don't. I don't want nobody to take my shit out of context. And I feel like there's other creators that you can find that you can get that information out of. Yeah, but also, I'm not going to make any comedy out of somebody's death. So I just feel like it's not something for me. But I will pick on the people that were commenting after one person. I said it on the Patreon. I. I hope you watch this, because it's a former co worker of mine. I'm not gonna say where I want people to, you know, find them too quickly, but if they do, they do.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Gene]

He posted a black man. He posted a picture of Charlie Kirk next to Martin Luther King and said, how is this not the same?

[Mike]

Yeah, I saw that. I was like, wow.

[Gene]

I was like, what are you talking about? Charlie Kirk and Martin Luther King is crazy insane. Also, like, as. Again, as I said on a Patreon.

[Mike]

You hear it twice.

[Gene]

He Google. He had to Google both images. Like, you got the boss to go, all right, Martin Luther King got it. Copy paste. Charlie Kirk. So you Google those back to back, which is crazy. Algorithm is up. Also the, like the misinformation, like I realized that people don't know anything about technology. Like, the more technology we get, the more people are like stuck in their ways of like how they retain information and get information. And like smooth pages are getting better.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Gene]

And like things that people say, if people don't know what it is, they just believe it. And I saw somebody post a tweet or status or whatever that said this government is so fucked up. Both of the shooters talking about the one and the Trump one and the Charlie Kirk one, both of them had a discord. And people were in the comments like.

[Mike]

Oh my God, this is said.

[Gene]

Yeah, this makes sense. Because the government's blah, blah. And I was like, wait, these don't even know what discord? Yeah, anybody nephew got a discord?

[Mike]

People just try to make different narratives. People trying to be first to say why something happened. So they have like a, a big conspiracy. That's just too many conspiracy theories of why things are happening.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Mike]

America in general is a scary ass country to be in. In general right now. It's just like, there's just too much eerie going on. Too much eerie going on in the world. And that's why I like to come in the podcast and you're just like, shoot the shit and like, forget about the outside world a little bit.

[Gene]

I will, I will say, I will say for the people with the tinfoil hats. Yeah, I will say this. I will. I'll give you a little grace because sometimes I get there and sometimes I like, stay away from it. America is like one of the only countries that like admit that something was. Wasn't how it seemed at the time. It's like, oh, yeah, Johnny Kenny got killed by somebody random. And then you do all this digging like, ah, the government killed him.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Gene]

It's like, oh, the government killed Martin Luther King. And it's like, wait, like, oh, y' all expect me to believe everything we lied about the other. But this right here, this true?

[Mike]

Like, nah, nah, that's the thing. It's just. And for conspiracy theorists, it just takes them being right about one thing to let them to continue that cycle being a. Yeah, all you need to be right once and just be right a little bit. It could be just the little. Because obviously the government does lie to us and they hide things and stuff like that. So there's like, things do get revealed. There's other people with technology to kind of get into this. The administration and like release things. So yeah, it's just, it's a crazy world we're living in, man.

[Gene]

So crazy, bro. The first six, eight nigga with bad hygiene got called Bigfoot and they're just like, yes, nigga. Just not shaving, bro. Yo, let's take a quick break from the podcast to thank the sponsor of today's episode. Earn It. They say time waits for no one and neither should Payday to keep your money moving in the direction of your dreams, get Earning. Earning is an app that lets you access your pay as you earn it up to $150 a day with a max of $750 between paydays.

[Mike]

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[Gene]

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[Mike]

Download Earning today spelled E A R N I N in the Google Play or Apple Store. When you download the Earning app, type in Crash Dummies under Podcast when you sign up. It really helps the show that is Crash Dummies under Under Podcast Expedited Transfers available for a fee. Tips are voluntary and don't affect the service. Available in select states. Terms and restrictions apply. Visit earning.com for full details. Download Earning now and take control of your pay. Now back to the podcast. We are taking a break from the podcast to thank today's sponsor hu. I love HU because a lot of their products are made for really busy people. Sometimes you don't have time to cook, sometimes you don't have time to meal prep. And he was an easy way to get your nutrition in that spell.

[Gene]

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[Mike]

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[Gene]

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[Mike]

I was gonna ask you a question. Why do you think our fantasy, you know we had a fantasy football league, right? Why do you think it ended?

[Gene]

Fantasy football league.

[Mike]

Yes.

[Gene]

1. I think depending on like another grown man to do something bothers me so much because it makes you, like, angry. Like, damn, you couldn't do what I bet on you to do one. And then like me, I don't like being trapped in anything. Like, I want to be different all the time. So like me watching the same football games for 16, 17 weeks, how long my team's in for? Three and a half hours on time whenever they play feels like a little trap to me. So, like, once I start stop watching the games, I was just like, yeah, and ain't no money really being exchanged.

[Mike]

That was no money.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Mike]

It's like, that was the hard thing too, about our, the fantasy group we're in. We. So everybody, you know, sometimes people play for money and stuff like that. And when it was time to, we always want to give the money up at the beginning. And no one wanted to pay into the pot at the beginning. And it's like, oh, I'll just pay after. And then after, then the after happens. And like everybody's like, slow to get your money. That's the point. He's like, bro, why am I asking this dude for $20? You know, it's not even that crazy money. Also, people stop caring too. Down the season was one time we had a couple in our football league.

[Gene]

I was just about to say that.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, we had a couple and they, and then the, the guy in the relationship, he wasn't going to make the playoffs. But his girl was going to make the playoffs. And they did the worst trades on earth. Like he gave her like, like, like he gave her like Tom Brady. And he got back a, a, a four string tight end.

[Gene]

Yeah. He was basically feeling like her team was already good because she already made it to the championship versus me.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Gene]

And then he like filled the holes of her team. Like, gave her like a good ass quarterback and a good ass receiver.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Gene]

Like her team already didn't get her to the.

[Mike]

In a money league. He's like, bro, what?

[Gene]

In a money league. And then won a champion. And then was like inquiring about the money. I said, y' all ain't giving. Like, I was on some like real crash out. Like if that touched his hands, like we was gonna have to throw them. That's like, sometimes it's just about the principle of shit. Like, oh, you cheated. And then like, they was like. It felt like they felt bad that they cheated.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Gene]

They still went through with a good lineup. And then like when they won, it was kind of like quiet about us. I was like, okay, they don't care. They won. They fucked up the league. It is what it is. And then somebody inquired about the money like a month later. And I got in a group chat like, fuck, no. Nobody touching nothing. Everybody keep their money. N. If I see anybody get this person money, I'm on your ass too.

[Mike]

I got. I got a question for y'. All. Would you rather your partner know all your Internet history or all your private thoughts?

[Gene]

Internet history. She do not need to know. I do not like that hairdo. I mean, you know what I'm saying? Sometimes you just got to support your girl. It is that one little hairdo or one little makeup thing she do. And it's just like, that's just for her. That's for her. She like, she thinks she look good.

[Mike]

And I'mma support my baby. What are you doing?

[Gene]

Yeah, I gotta be the Internet history.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Gene]

I have way more private thoughts than my.

[Mike]

Exactly.

[Gene]

Than I searched. I mean, everybody is curious why Mar Simpson is sucking bar. I just had to see go keep.

[Mike]

Passing up this ad. Yeah. If anybody says. I feel like anybody says, like their Internet history. They have to be looking up some. Some crazy shit for your Internet history to be worse than your thoughts. Like, your intrusive thoughts too.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Mike]

That is a sick Internet history.

[Gene]

Yeah. Just like your Internet history. Like, you a dude been dating this girl for five years and you got in your Google search. How can I get fucked by this girl's dad. Yo, why you got this Google? And then she exposed you online. Like, look it.

[Mike]

Look at what he go, go.

[Gene]

Bug. No, but not Private Thoughts is crazy, though.

[Mike]

Yeah, Private Thoughts is great.

[Gene]

These are my private. I have. And I actually have thoughts that I think only because I'm doing the opposite.

[Mike]

Yes.

[Gene]

If that makes sense. Like, I held the elevator for this woman that was on a wheelchair. That my next thought is like, what.

[Mike]

If I close this? Yeah.

[Gene]

You know what I mean?

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Gene]

I do the right thing a lot in my life. I hold open doors. I say hi to any elderly person. Like, I do, like, a lot of things that I feel like should be done, but that opposite thought is always there. Like, what if I just told this old dude, man, shut up. Cause you know when you get that, when you see an older black man out, just, like, you almost, like, pay him homage. Cause you're just like, you're black. You're a black man that's older. Is like, this is what it's gonna be like when I'm older. So you're just like, what up? But sometimes you just want to be like, man, I don't give a fuck about none of that. Say what up to me first.

[Mike]

Or you apologize in the argument, and then. And she. She sees your. Your thoughts and shit. Like, oh, you weren't really sorry about that. Especially because you just say there's some arguments you've been in in relationships where you just said sorry just not to continue the argument. Yeah. And it's just like, it wasn't. There's some arguments that are not big enough for you to continue. It's like, yes, this was annoying, and I think you're wrong. But I'm not angry enough at you doing this to continue arguing. So I'm gonna let it go. But I don't. I don't believe it, though. But I'm gonna let it go.

[Gene]

It's a lot of shit.

[Mike]

I like, just be wise next time.

[Gene]

Somebody gon.

[Mike]

No, it's gonna be the. Hopefully it's never gonna happen, though. Like, it's never.

[Gene]

There's never gonna get no scuffle with no women. They could be like, yeah, it's like a compilation. Is it wise?

[Mike]

He jumped about it so much.

[Gene]

We knew it.

[Mike]

Nah, if you ever see that, it is a lie.

[Gene]

It was definitely a lie. Or it was three of them.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Gene]

What are you trying to jump?

[Mike]

Yeah. Then that actually would be true, though. Was it wise to approach me with the three of you guys? To approach me with a knife?

[Gene]

If A woman just came on. Like, I'm like, I don't think you should put your hands on a woman at all. But it's just like, okay, every time.

[Mike]

Somebody says, but after that.

[Gene]

If you're being attacked, like, if I was being attacked by one woman, yeah, I would do my bet. Like, I'm not swinging back. Like, I might run away. Like, I don't want to hit you that bad. Yeah, if it's two women, I'm running away. Yeah, if it's three women, I'm run running away. If it's for what's up, my, like.

[Mike]

What'S like, who sent y'?

[Gene]

All?

[Mike]

What did I do? First of all, what did I do to make four of y', all, man?

[Gene]

Who y' all think y is a potterpuff girl? How y' all think this gonna go down? Turn Thanos in his Justice League or some no, four people. I don't give a. Like, sometimes it's just about the numbers. It will piss you off that it's that many people to do harm to you.

[Mike]

That definitely would run for the bro.

[Gene]

Cuz it's like, if two 16 year olds, you're just like, want to beef with you and it's like, y' all must be brothers or some. Like, I'm about to fight two 16 year olds. But if it's like six 16 year olds, you like, bro, like, what's up? Yeah, like, what type of thing going on? Like, the nerve. You think you could take me down? Because you're not going to go. Like, if you get attacked by like 15 little kids. Yeah, like, you're not gonna go to jail for that. Like, come on. Come on now, officers.

[Mike]

Come on.

[Gene]

It gotta be self defense. That tape in the courtroom gonna look good. I him up. I him up. My bad, my bad, your honor. I you up, though. I you up, boy. And they're beefing with him and you gotta fight six dads and. Nah, you only ask.

[Mike]

Six dads is crazy.

[Gene]

You only ask your lawyer to ask him if you. If they. If you beat they ass. That's the only lawyer my client has requested. I only question you with this question. How bad did he beat your ass? You ought to. You want to tail light?

[Mike]

Yeah, I. I honestly don't think six dads would be that mad. I think maybe one because I think dads understands. It's like, okay, my son. Why was my son jumping? Trying to jump a dude with six other people. Yeah, grown man. You just seem like you're the wrong one in that sense. Especially if it's not. If it's nothing about, like. Like, family stuff. I don't know you from anywhere. You just met me on the street and you guys are angry I bumped into one of y' all some type. I think some dads are responsible enough to be like, you needed that ass whooping type. Yeah, you needed that.

[Gene]

Not me, though. I don't give a. What my son did. My son as a grown man.

[Mike]

Yeah, for real.

[Gene]

We gotta get out, bro. I might even tell him he was in the right. Like, bro, you did the right thing. And then start squaring up.

[Mike]

I got to do my one.

[Gene]

But you got the wrong.

[Mike]

I'm going to show my dad my son what he should have did. So. So I want this to be a learning lesson for him in both ways.

[Gene]

Nah, for real. Just like, listen, man, my son fought you and he jumped you with your friend. So, like, I don't think me and you, we not gonna fight. I gots to shoot you, though. Just a thigh shot by no arteries. Hey, man.

[Mike]

No arteries, man. I was at the.

[Caller/Guest]

Hey, hey, what's up? What to do?

[Mike]

Hey, welcome to Crash Dummies podcast. How are you today?

[Caller/Guest]

I'm fine. What about y'? All?

[Gene]

Groovy. Y' alls is good.

[Mike]

Where are you from?

[Caller/Guest]

I'm from Georgia.

[Gene]

Yeah, I know.

[Mike]

That's right.

[Gene]

Georgia peach. We know.

[Mike]

I got a question for you. What's the brokest thing you've ever done?

[Caller/Guest]

Oh, played gay for a day. Oh, Lord. Okay, so I'm 30 now. This was like. I was like 23 at the time, so I had to go to work the next day, but gas was running a little low, so I'm on. What? I was on Facebook. I was baiting on Facebook. I put up, oh, I need a massage. Trying to see who's gonna come in on the post.

[Mike]

Crazy. Go ahead.

[Caller/Guest]

We know what the massage lead to, but the. That was hitting up on the massage post were hitting on. And I wasn't gonna with them. So the one girl she hit, she post. She slid up. She was like, well, you should come with me. I was like, I ain't with the gay. Well, I know you got a little money on your summer. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna slide through real quick. She was like. I was like, I'm the long gas. I give you four to come slide through. Come come with me. I'm like, okay. I get over there. She done brought out to Hennessy at the time. She trying to get me up. Little did she know I'm A. I drank. For real. I've been drinking with my granddaddy, so I really drank. She got drunk before me. She trying to feel on me. I gotta feel on. Little thigh, little caress my arm. She gave me a little massage on my shoulders. I was like, that's cool. She's like, you wanna go to the room? No. We can stay on the couch, though. That's cool. She done passed out, mind you.

[Mike]

She.

[Caller/Guest]

She passed out. She done gave me the 40 before I got there. She was like, well, you could spend the night. I was like, okay. We done cut it up on the couch. I'm all feeling awkward. I've been. I was the big spoon because we ain't gonna do the gay.

[Mike]

For real.

[Caller/Guest]

I'm the man right now.

[Gene]

You ain't know what role you was gonna play.

[Caller/Guest]

I had. I had to be the man. I ain't gonna hurt her on my booty. Mind you. I ain't got no ass. So it is what it is. I ain't no peach. I'm more of a. It's a plum. It's a plum.

[Gene]

No, that's so cr. But you said. So you did that for $40. Now, if we times that by 10.

[Caller/Guest]

Why we times that about 10? I ain't getting no money for nobody else.

[Gene]

I'm just saying, like, what if it were up to 400? Would. The actions would have changed? Was it. Was it about the money?

[Caller/Guest]

Oh, 400. I would let him make a little something.

[Gene]

400.

[Caller/Guest]

You can do 500.

[Gene]

Okay, what about 4,000?

[Caller/Guest]

He said 4,000. We. I ain't gonna lie.

[Mike]

Y.

[Caller/Guest]

4,000. I got. I gotta go through it.

[Gene]

I gotta go through it.

[Caller/Guest]

I gotta see it all the way. Passed out, though, she thought was anything gonna happen, she fell asleep. I slid off the couch very easily. I took her keys and I locked her door because she had one of those weird pop locks and put on top of her thing and left. That was the end of that.

[Gene]

That's responsible.

[Mike]

A responsible scammer is crazy.

[Gene]

She all drank her.

[Caller/Guest]

I made it to work that week, mind you, I had a Honda. So, you know, $40 did. Did wonderful in my tank. And my job was right. I could have walked whole time. I could have walked to work. I just refused the wall. I was like, I'm getting it for the dollar.

[Gene]

Oh, this extracurricular activity, you ain't even need this. You was doing it for the sport.

[Caller/Guest]

I did it for the 40 because I wasn't finna walk. It wasn't the best of neighborhoods, and I had to be to work at 4 o' clock in the morning? Hell no.

[Gene]

Hey, that's a good price, though. 4,000. Not bad.

[Caller/Guest]

I mean, you telling me you might not be the case, but for 4,000, you gonna do some stranger for change?

[Gene]

Nah, nah, not for no 4k.

[Mike]

I got borrows and.

[Caller/Guest]

Ransom money. College money. You did something.

[Mike]

Hey, all right. You have a good one. No, sir. All right.

[Caller/Guest]

Hey, what's good?

[Mike]

What's good? What it do? What it do?

[Caller/Guest]

Chilling, Chilling. Fellas got going.

[Mike]

Oh, you know, podcasting. I got a question for you, bro. What's up? What was the brokest thing you've ever done?

[Caller/Guest]

Man, I. I use my girls period. Past the white. Yeah. You know, come home, you know, you gotta wait for the check to get here. So you ain't got no tissue, you gotta do. You gotta boo boo. So you. You already know what time it is.

[Mike]

Man, I. I don't know what time it is. Just to let you know.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, okay. All right, so. So let me paint the picture for you, man.

[Mike]

No, no, we got it. That was.

[Gene]

No, go ahead, go ahead.

[Caller/Guest]

Y' all want to know, man, let me. Let me. Let me cook, man. Let me cook.

[Gene]

Hurry up.

[Mike]

So I wouldn't call this cooking, but go ahead.

[Caller/Guest]

All right, so pretty much, you know, a was broke with his baby mama, ain't had no tissue. I said, what a tissue at? She said, I'm broke, Luke. And I know you don't get paid till Friday. I said, what I'm paying is that. Use that bit. You know, you just.

[Gene]

What year. What year was this?

[Caller/Guest]

This was back in like 2020.

[Gene]

2020 was Uber. Uber was around. Uber east was around in 2020. Yeah, don't get y' all broke. Just dirty and bro.

[Mike]

People'S circumstances are people's circumstances.

[Gene]

But tissue he dirty.

[Caller/Guest]

Nah, bro, hold on, bro. You gotta let me cook, bro. I'm not dirty, bro.

[Gene]

So this is what I want to say. That's what I want to say with the pads, right? Usually when you have a roll of tissue, you basically got unlimited tissue. Like you're not gonna use the whole roll. Yeah, in a thing. And the rule is you wipe until you don't see anything anymore. So I know that there's not enough pads for you to do that, which means you're dirty as.

[Caller/Guest]

Oh, no, you know, a use the whole box. You know, you got to be critical.

[Mike]

So you use more than one pad.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, hell yeah.

[Gene]

But. But listen, that makes me think that you've you it before and found out there was no tissue. And actually had nothing. At some point, if you would go without tissue because you found those. Because you didn't go. No, no, no. You didn't go in there and just be like, oh, I got a. Let me look and see if there's anything to have a with.

[Caller/Guest]

I mean, should I look?

[Gene]

You looked and saw pads and still it.

[Caller/Guest]

Bro, I was broke, bro. It was during my character development.

[Mike]

No, bro, one roll of tissue is like. You can get tissue from the dollar store for a dollar.

[Gene]

Less than a dollar. Did you have a car, bro? Did you have a car?

[Caller/Guest]

What'd you say?

[Gene]

Did you have a car?

[Caller/Guest]

Nah, hell no. Hell no. That's why I say it was during my. My character development.

[Mike]

I was. You have a score. You have a convenience store. That was close. You had a dollar.

[Gene]

No, you had a dollar somewhere. You had a dollar, bro. You have a dollar.

[Mike]

You should have.

[Gene]

You could have sold. How old was you? How old you? How old was you?

[Caller/Guest]

I was like. I was like 19, 13, 20.

[Gene]

Look at this broke ass.

[Caller/Guest]

Hey, hold on. Hey, hold on. I ain't broke. No mother.

[Gene]

Got your money up. Hey, your ass still stank though.

[Caller/Guest]

It smell like the bottom of your hat. Nigga, you wear that hat so fucking much. I know. It smell like that.

[Gene]

Nice, nice, nice. Stinky. Who's he talking to? Pey.

[Mike]

Oh, man.

[Gene]

Dusty. Dirty ass nigga. Man, that shit just made me. I need to go wash my hands to talk to. When did making plans get this complicated? It's time to streamline with WhatsApp, the secure messaging app that brings the whole group together. Use polls to settle dinner plans, send event invites and pin messages so no.

[Mike]

One forgets mom 60th. And never miss a meme or milestone.

[Gene]

All protected with end to end encryption. It's time for WhatsApp message privately with everyone. Learn [e-mail]. hey, it's Ryan Reynolds here for Mint Mobile. Now I was looking for fun ways.

[Mike]

To tell you that Mint's offer of.

[Gene]

Unlimited Premium Wireless for $15 a month month is back. So I thought it would be fun.

[Mike]

If we made 15 bills, but it.

[Gene]

Turns out that's very illegal. So there goes my big idea for the commercial.

[Mike]

Give it a [e-mail]. switch upfront payment of $45 for a.

[Caller/Guest]

Three month plan equivalent to $15 per month. Required new customer offer for first three months only. Speed slow after 35 gigabytes of networks busy.

[Mike]

Taxes and fees extra.

[Caller/Guest]

See mintmobile.com My God. Hello.

[Gene]

Yo.

[Caller/Guest]

Oh my God. I thought y' all was Joking.

[Mike]

Like, what was there to joke about?

[Caller/Guest]

Oh, my God. This is Mike and Pat. You know, the lady that y' all called me about is right here, bro.

[Gene]

I didn't see it. What's up?

[Mike]

I don't know. We don't. We don't really check some of the. The things. I'm just gonna ask you the question. Welcome to Crash.

[Caller/Guest]

Okay, go ahead.

[Mike]

Welcome to Crash Dummies podcast. How are you today?

[Caller/Guest]

I'm fine. How about you, King?

[Mike]

Pretty. Pretty good. Pretty good. I like that. I feel warm.

[Gene]

Oh, she called you King?

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Gene]

Yeah. Oh, nice.

[Mike]

Yeah. I got a question for you.

[Gene]

Of what, though?

[Caller/Guest]

Shut the hell up. It's, like, funny.

[Mike]

I got a question for you.

[Gene]

Holy.

[Mike]

What's the worst first impression you've ever had?

[Caller/Guest]

I gotta say it in the living room because she right here. But basically. Basically, I was coming out of my room, and my. My mom. My mom girl. My mom girl that she was messing with came out the room, and I was. Basically. I didn't know who she was, so then, like, I just put two and two together. Basically, she was gay.

[Gene]

Oh, tough. Oh, that makes. Hey, that's my favorite 50 cent line.

[Mike]

What?

[Gene]

Growing up, I was confused. My mom kissing the girl. All right, you gotta look up that song, girl.

[Caller/Guest]

It's about you.

[Mike]

What do you do with that information?

[Caller/Guest]

We went to ihop.

[Mike]

That was it. That was.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, we went to ihop. She was like. She saw me come out the room. She's like, oh, hey. And tried to distract me. So we went to ihop.

[Mike]

Did you ask your mom about that, though?

[Caller/Guest]

She right here.

[Gene]

Let's ask her.

[Mike]

There's nothing to ask.

[Caller/Guest]

They want to ask you a question. They want to ask you a question. What's the question?

[Gene]

Hey, mama.

[Caller/Guest]

Hey.

[Gene]

Hey. She said that this is. This is, like, very difficult to say. I'm trying to be. I'm trying to be respectful. She said that, like, I don't know when. What age it was, but she said that you was doing some things with one of your friends, and she caught you doing it, and the friend wasn't a guy, the friend was a woman.

[Caller/Guest]

All right. Just to be transparent, I guess it's not necessarily doing some things with her. I was in my poly stage at the time, so she was actually a girlfriend.

[Gene]

Okay.

[Mike]

Oh, okay.

[Gene]

Wait, Polly, what's. So she had a.

[Caller/Guest]

Probably, you know, loving more than one person.

[Gene]

Oh, well, how many significant others did you have at the time?

[Caller/Guest]

It was just her. One. Other was.

[Gene]

What was the other one? A man woman?

[Caller/Guest]

Yes, a man.

[Gene]

A Man, nice. Okay, who are you with now?

[Caller/Guest]

There's still the guy.

[Gene]

The guy.

[Mike]

Oh, okay.

[Gene]

Where's the woman at?

[Caller/Guest]

She wasn't up to par. So we finally.

[Gene]

I get to say my young thug line. Something wrong?

[Mike]

That was a very insightful conversation.

[Gene]

No, that's crazy. But why'd you go to IHOP after? That's the question.

[Caller/Guest]

Mommy, she said, why we go to IHOP after? She like.

[Gene]

She's like.

[Caller/Guest]

I don't know. She tried to distract me. She confused.

[Gene]

All right, one more time. One more time. Growing up, I was confused.

[Caller/Guest]

He show us something that remind him of the 50 Cent song.

[Mike]

All right, you have a good one.

[Caller/Guest]

You, too. Hello.

[Gene]

Yo.

[Caller/Guest]

Hey.

[Gene]

Crashing podcast. What's good?

[Caller/Guest]

Hey. Not much. Just hot as hell out here.

[Gene]

Where are you at?

[Caller/Guest]

Arizona.

[Gene]

I knew it. I knew it. Arizona. He ain't.

[Mike]

It was different, you guys.

[Gene]

What's the brokest thing you spent your money on? Wait, wait.

[Mike]

Is that. Oh, no, no, no. Broke.

[Gene]

Okay, my bad. Let me. Let me ask that over. Let's. Let's start over. Hey, what's up? Let's start over one more time. Not me, not me. All right. And.

[Caller/Guest]

Okay.

[Gene]

Yo, what's up? What's good?

[Caller/Guest]

Not much. Just. Holly tell out here who's there?

[Gene]

No, I just. We. A restart.

[Mike]

Nothing.

[Gene]

I was just trolling. All right.

[Caller/Guest]

Oh, my God.

[Gene]

All right. What's the brokest thing you've ever done?

[Caller/Guest]

So when I was by myself out here in Arizona, I actually would set up Tinder dates for every meal when I didn't have money for groceries. Yeah, not all of them went well, obviously. Yeah.

[Mike]

How many dates were you going on per week?

[Caller/Guest]

Like, if it was a week where I really had no money for groceries, it was at least five. Like, one for every dinner I didn't have. Okay.

[Gene]

Okay, next question. Did you hook up with any of these guys?

[Caller/Guest]

Maybe like, one or two of them. Not a lot of them deserve to go that far.

[Gene]

One or two a week or just like, one or two total, though?

[Caller/Guest]

No, no, I would say like one or two a month, maybe.

[Gene]

How old are you?

[Caller/Guest]

Like, currently?

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, like, 25.

[Gene]

God damn. You want to grab dinner or. That's crazy, G. That's so crazy.

[Mike]

What you doing better now?

[Caller/Guest]

Oh, yeah, obviously. Hello.

[Mike]

Don't say no.

[Gene]

Say hello. What does it mean? What? What she mean, hello, by the way? We supposed to know that?

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, I mean, I'm not broke anymore. That's why I'm telling this story. What the.

[Gene]

I mean, we asking question. You. You the one selling it for Breadsticks. Oh, my God.

[Caller/Guest]

That's crazy.

[Mike]

So did you pick the restaurant every time?

[Caller/Guest]

No.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Caller/Guest]

I'm not picky.

[Mike]

Okay, so we're obviously.

[Gene]

Yeah. With the guys. Either.

[Mike]

Was it. Was it. Was it more like breakfast, lunch, dinner? What was like your, your go to's?

[Caller/Guest]

It was usually dinner, like after my shifts.

[Mike]

Got it.

[Gene]

Yeah, man. This is like one or two a month is. How long was it? How long you do this?

[Caller/Guest]

A couple months. It was a rough couple months.

[Gene]

Okay, so you had a little like, like six or seven dudes?

[Caller/Guest]

Well, they were all dudes.

[Gene]

Well, six or seven bodies, regardless.

[Caller/Guest]

Oh, yeah. But I was like 21.

[Gene]

Wait, I want to know what the most expensive like, like dinner she's had then.

[Caller/Guest]

Oh, it was pretty pricey. But the date went horrible.

[Mike]

Why'd it go horrible? And what was the price? First, give us the price of the date date so we can judge it.

[Gene]

Yeah, the price of everything.

[Caller/Guest]

It was like, it was like a steak. I obviously, I, I. No, no, no. I obviously did not see the bill, but it must have been like at least 400.

[Mike]

Okay. Okay.

[Gene]

No, that's not bad. Well, like. And then what was like, really expensive, though?

[Mike]

But what's bad about the date?

[Caller/Guest]

It was just like a tech bro that wouldn't shut up about Elon Musk, and I was just not about it.

[Gene]

No, I feel it. Yeah. Any. Any political dates I'm good on.

[Caller/Guest]

He was just like, glazing him for having, like, Tesla and stuff. It was really stupid.

[Gene]

It's crazy. I. I hate when that's what I'm saying. Sometimes it's good to judge people off of the stuff they do. Right?

[Caller/Guest]

Right?

[Gene]

Yes.

[Caller/Guest]

Like, you're judging me right now, right?

[Gene]

There you go.

[Mike]

With any of these dates, were you going on any of these dates with, like, real intentions of, like, buying?

[Caller/Guest]

Oh, yeah. I mean, the dinner was like a plus, and I was hungry and. But I was like, actively dating people and like, trying to find a partner. It didn't work out very well. A few years, but here I am now.

[Mike]

Are you. Are you dating?

[Caller/Guest]

Oh, I'm married now.

[Gene]

Oh, wow.

[Mike]

Congrats. To a man. Or woman.

[Caller/Guest]

Thanks. A man.

[Gene]

How?

[Mike]

Well, why is that? Why was that a strange question?

[Gene]

I don't think that was strange. I mean, she expressed that she liked women before, so he was trying to. Who said it was shame?

[Mike]

Nobody. Oh, I thought I heard. I thought I heard her say something.

[Gene]

Battling his hell. That's strange.

[Mike]

No, it's not.

[Gene]

Who the is he talking to? No. Does your, does your Husband know about like this little, like three month stint?

[Caller/Guest]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Gene]

Okay.

[Mike]

Did you meet him with. In that little time of you on Tinder and stuff like that?

[Caller/Guest]

Oh, no, no. We actually met at work. Never your co workers, but I did.

[Gene]

Worked out.

[Mike]

It worked out. I'm glad it worked out, though. I'm glad. I'm glad your old ways are behind you.

[Caller/Guest]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Mike]

Brighter side.

[Caller/Guest]

A whole different person now.

[Gene]

No more using breadsticks as collateral.

[Mike]

All right. You have a good one.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, thanks. You too. What's good with you, man?

[Mike]

What up, bro? How's it going? Welcome to Crash Enemies podcast.

[Gene]

I'm chilling.

[Caller/Guest]

What's good, Mike, my African brother, bro. What's good with you, man?

[Mike]

Where are you from?

[Caller/Guest]

I'm from America, but my parents from Senegal.

[Gene]

He was just saying, you just African, bro.

[Mike]

I feel it, I feel it.

[Gene]

He's still African, bro. Yeah, I can't.

[Caller/Guest]

I can't, I can't.

[Mike]

I can't put on for the bloodline. All right, don't yell.

[Gene]

That's why you say anything. I got your back, bro. That's what they be doing, bro. Oh, my.

[Mike]

Appreciate it, bro. Good looking.

[Caller/Guest]

I always with pat anyway, you know what I'm saying?

[Mike]

I know you sound like a patient type of dude anyway.

[Gene]

What is that supposed to mean?

[Mike]

I don't know. Y sound like, hey, ass. That's what he is.

[Caller/Guest]

That's what he is.

[Mike]

All right, what's a red flag that you're attracted to?

[Caller/Guest]

What I. Oh, that I'm attracted to?

[Mike]

Yes, that was the question that.

[Caller/Guest]

I thought it was a red. Ah, no, no, no, no.

[Gene]

What did you think it was?

[Caller/Guest]

I feel like y' all gonna call me dumb now.

[Mike]

I told you, he's a Pat type of a. Come on, now.

[Caller/Guest]

All right, I. I thought you.

[Mike]

Y' all was just saying, what's a red flag?

[Caller/Guest]

Just to avoid that. You know what I'm saying?

[Mike]

That's how I answer the question. What's a red flag then, bro?

[Caller/Guest]

A girl that's glazing you from the start. Like, let me. Let me give you an example. I got two examples, actually. So this the first one. All right. We're gonna go with one of my exes type, right? So I should have known some was like because I was Loki chopped at that time. Bro, bro. You know what I'm saying? But she. She over here talking about I'm handsome. All this, telling me she want to lick my bodies.

[Gene]

My bad, bro.

[Caller/Guest]

I got a little. You know what I'm saying? But she glazed the right. Turns out she was only using me for sex, bro. And she had a whole. She was just calling me up when he wasn't hitting it right, bro, that hurt a soul.

[Gene]

What the. Was the question.

[Mike]

The first one was a red flag, bro. Attracted to. Now this is a red flag. Hey, it, bro.

[Gene]

All right, bro. That talked about anything.

[Mike]

Oh, man.

[Caller/Guest]

Hello? Yo, what's going on?

[Mike]

What up, bro? Damn. Where you at?

[Caller/Guest]

I'm driving right now. I'm working.

[Gene]

Yeah, roll the windows up.

[Mike]

I'm in a.

[Caller/Guest]

A delivery truck, bro.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Gene]

Okay.

[Mike]

All right.

[Gene]

What you with the. You in the one that opened the door or some shit?

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, I just closed that hoe right now.

[Mike]

All right, bro. We gonna make this quick then. Oh, well, what's something that you didn't take seriously that happened to you? Oh, what's something that. What's something that you didn't take seriously until it happened to you?

[Caller/Guest]

The nukes, bro. So you know how they have their little. They little what?

[Mike]

The what?

[Caller/Guest]

The noops.

[Mike]

Okay?

[Caller/Guest]

The Kappa Alpha Psi. It's the frat. You know, the frat.

[Mike]

Yes. I'm saying yes, I get it. Move on.

[Caller/Guest]

Okay, okay, okay. So they was like, oh, you know, if your girl looks. She took. And I'm like, he's pretty ass, bro. They're not taking nobody girl, bro. All right, so fast forward. They're not taking. Oh, these.

[Gene]

Who?

[Caller/Guest]

Hold on, let me find somebody to pull over real quick.

[Mike]

I didn't hear so many coffee mugs just break.

[Gene]

He broke some.

[Caller/Guest]

Nah, they got. They.

[Mike]

They got money. They buy another one now.

[Gene]

That's crazy. But you said.

[Caller/Guest]

But, yeah, the nukes.

[Gene]

Yeah, but you caught them. What? Some what? Ass.

[Caller/Guest]

Some pretty ass, bruh. That's their whole thing, like, being too. Being pretty. And so they like, oh, we'll take your girl. We'll take your girl. They got songs about all that good stuff. So fast forward. Me and my girl, we have a little, you know, little issues and stuff. You know how it be. And she don't know nothing about frat stuff. Why she texted me all of a.

[Gene]

Sudden.

[Caller/Guest]

Who are the.

[Mike]

Who are the.

[Caller/Guest]

Do we have nukes at our. At my school? At our school, she goes to umd, and I used to go there. And I'm like, why do you want to know? And she's like, because I saw them dance. And then she text a little tongue out emoji.

[Mike]

Oh, yeah.

[Caller/Guest]

And I'm like. I'm like, what the. Like, that's a reasonable crash out. And now she's trying to go Go to their little events and, like, watch them and see what. You know I'm saying? See what they got going on. And it's like, wow, a low key sucker. You know what I'm saying? She don't even. She don't even look at me the same no more. Right?

[Mike]

You know what I'm saying? So still your girl?

[Caller/Guest]

This is still my girl.

[Gene]

No way. Yeah, she gone, brother.

[Mike]

No, this is still your girl.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah.

[Gene]

He literally actively telling you right now that he's a cuck. Like, offering.

[Caller/Guest]

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Everybody say that.

[Gene]

If she's at the game, she's somebody on the basketball team. I'm telling you.

[Mike]

No, bro.

[Caller/Guest]

No, bro, no. There's no way. I have a location. She can't. She ain't been doing all that.

[Gene]

Where her location be saying she at.

[Caller/Guest]

Her dorm.

[Mike]

Oh, damn. Damn. All right. What's your message?

[Caller/Guest]

You might got a point.

[Mike]

What's your message to the noobs?

[Gene]

That boys had an away game?

[Mike]

What's your message to the noobs?

[Caller/Guest]

Y' all cool. Just stay away from Shorty.

[Gene]

I think it's too late for that. I think the time that she texts you that they was dancing, I think that was the moment that it went down.

[Mike]

Yeah, it was over once she saw them doing the little shoulder roll thing. It was raps, huh?

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, probably. But I'll bounce back. I'll bounce back.

[Mike]

Y' all had a good time. How long were y' all together?

[Caller/Guest]

Not long.

[Mike]

Oh, yeah, it's fine. You move on then, right?

[Gene]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. She gone, brother.

[Caller/Guest]

All right.

[Gene]

Hey, I got.

[Caller/Guest]

I got a message.

[Mike]

I got a message.

[Caller/Guest]

I got a message.

[Mike]

Go ahead.

[Caller/Guest]

Shout out the audio listeners. But you should really buy that Patreon.

[Mike]

It was. It was worth it in my opinion.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, Pat, all that good stuff.

[Gene]

Okay.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah. All right, bro.

[Gene]

Hey, man, they. But they your girl.

[Caller/Guest]

Hello?

[Mike]

Hello?

[Caller/Guest]

Yo, what's up? I feel like, you know, I should just see, like, a regular caller at this point. We've called you before, like, three. This is my third time. Third time, probably like the first. Look, I'm the one with the baby mama, baby mama, daddy drama. And then Mike tried to say that he ain't believe that I was selling coochie.

[Mike]

I said that?

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Okay. I got a question.

[Gene]

A long time ago.

[Mike]

I got a question for you.

[Caller/Guest]

No, it was like, two weeks.

[Mike]

What's a red flag that you're attracted to.

[Caller/Guest]

Drug dealers and money? Well, with guns, I hope they would have money, but, you know, for the.

[Mike]

Money part, it could be like a Very unsuccessful drug dealer. You still. That's your. That's your.

[Caller/Guest]

No, no, no, no, no. The money has to be there.

[Mike]

Why do you like drug dealers?

[Caller/Guest]

I would hope if you were unsuccessful drug dealer, you would stop dealing.

[Mike]

Yeah, true.

[Gene]

You would think that, right? Yeah, it doesn't happen.

[Mike]

There's a lot of. But why is that your attraction?

[Caller/Guest]

I think it's because I know that I am probably more educated than them, so I could teach them, you know, to be better than just living that lifestyle.

[Gene]

Oh, so you want a little project.

[Caller/Guest]

And they just believe it.

[Gene]

You. You like that?

[Caller/Guest]

Not so much a project.

[Gene]

No, you like to have control over. You want to do with no car so you can tell them when to be home.

[Caller/Guest]

I know your type of relax though. He gotta have a car. I mean, I' ma still drive it, but like, he gotta have a car.

[Mike]

When's the last relationship you're in?

[Caller/Guest]

The one with the baby mama, baby daddy drama. And that was like a year ago.

[Mike]

Was he a drug dealer?

[Caller/Guest]

Yes. I mean, welcome down, kid.

[Gene]

How do you even meet the drug dealers? Where you be hanging out?

[Caller/Guest]

Where do I be hanging at? I don't be hanging around them. They seem to find me.

[Gene]

So they heard about you?

[Caller/Guest]

Not heard about me? No. I'd be out the way.

[Gene]

How they find you?

[Mike]

Yeah. You're not social media, are you a purchaser of like. Do you, do you. Are they your dealer?

[Caller/Guest]

No, I stopped. I stopped something like a long time.

[Gene]

Ago when a bunch of dudes that have the same occupation keep finding you.

[Caller/Guest]

Different cities. They don't. They don't even know each other. I make sure they don't know each other, okay? No, I make sure they have no connection. They might have in high school, they might have played each other in basketball for like college.

[Mike]

Arch nemesis.

[Gene]

She letting the rival.

[Caller/Guest]

The experts. Harry. Basketball turned drug dealers? Yeah.

[Gene]

Oh, that's it? That's your. That's your type, huh?

[Caller/Guest]

No, I'm trying to go for, you know, a more successful put together man, but sometimes y' all be a little hard to deal with.

[Gene]

Also. Y' all also the fuck. Yeah, also. It's dumb what you like because you, you the. The type you like is a. A retired basketball player turned drug dealer, which is. Has to be the worst drug dealer of all time. Who's not gonna know, honestly, that 64 dude is selling coke on the corner like it's 6 4, not them kind of.

[Caller/Guest]

Look, hold on, hold on. Not them kind of drugs. We just gonna skip the weed because I feel like that's A little serious. You selling cozy.

[Mike]

That's selling weed means nothing.

[Gene]

It's literally nothing.

[Mike]

It's legal in so many states.

[Gene]

There's people that accidentally sell weed. They got. Yeah, go, bro. I give you a deal.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, well, look, I'm in Texas, so. Like, Texas is not.

[Gene]

Yeah, I feel it, bro. You. You not. You act like you married to Ghost or some shit. Yeah.

[Mike]

Talking about like Pablo. Ess bars are.

[Gene]

That's Petey. I know that, man. He good deals. I know he a good dude, man.

[Caller/Guest]

That's why I said. That's why I said. I'm trying to, you know.

[Mike]

What you deem is dangerous. But you said guns too, though. But also in Texas, so that's very normal as well.

[Caller/Guest]

You feel me? Like, it's almost like you could catch him at any. Any, you know, college corner or something at this point.

[Gene]

Yeah. That he's a citizen. Tell him what you talking about. That he. He got online classes. Matter of fact, at Dev, he class of February.

[Caller/Guest]

I gotta, like. I gotta find the ones that's really doing it, huh?

[Gene]

Taking two week courses. Girl, he about to get his GED soon.

[Caller/Guest]

All right, you have a good one, Steve. I' to change.

[Gene]

Okay, we got you. We gonna find you, love. Next pie. We got you.

[Caller/Guest]

You gonna find me. I follow you, Hat.

[Gene]

No, no, no.

[Caller/Guest]

I said. Y' all not gonna sit here and say I was. Look, I'm gonna show you why they just be handing me money without the prostitution, because I know that's what Mike said.

[Gene]

And following. Following me proves that.

[Caller/Guest]

I mean, if you follow me back, you would see it ain't nothing crazy. I swear to God.

[Gene]

We both got. That's what I get. Now you. You have a good day, though. You choose better. Choose better.

[Mike]

I was at the farmer's market today, and I was walking by. I don't know what it was like a D dip. Dude was doing, like, homemade dip and like that.

[Gene]

Huh?

[Mike]

Homemade dip?

[Gene]

Like.

[Mike]

Like.

[Gene]

Like chip dip.

[Mike]

Chip dip? Yeah.

[Gene]

Oh, okay. It's like homemade tobacco.

[Mike]

Oh, I know what you mean. Okay, I got you. I got you. But we walked by and he was like. He asked my girl, he's like, can I feed you?

[Gene]

While y' all were walking by.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Gene]

That's crazy. That's crazy. He asked your girl that?

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah. He said, can I feed you? But I was like, kind of walking, like. But he was saying that to everybody, though. That kind of walk. He said, ma', am, can I feed you?

[Gene]

He saying it to other women?

[Mike]

No, he was saying to everybody, he said, to me too.

[Gene]

Hey. Hey. He wanted to feed you too.

[Mike]

Exactly. Say cuz he tried it and then she's like. He's like that sounds so crazy. Can I feed you too? I was. I was taking so back by it. But I did try the dip though. I tried to do okay, but it was it. But I get what he was trying to do. He's trying to be different and try to be like a. You know. Because at the farmer's market there's a whole bunch of different vendors and so you're trying to like find a way to like.

[Gene]

Yeah, okay.

[Mike]

It's trying to find a different way to stand out to like. Because you know sometimes when somebody's walking by you make that eye contact and you're like like, like hey, how's it going? You just keep walking. You don't want to get held that much. And I think can I feed you? Is definitely like a feet stopper.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Cuz I'm walking. It's like cuz it took me a little bit to process. Like why is he asking my girl can she? Can she, can he feed her?

[Gene]

Yeah. Another square up moment for me. Tastes good, but no fire bro.

[Mike]

But like square up.

[Gene]

My tough part about it, if he was like feeding people like that be crazy. And he was feeding people like like.

[Mike]

Dipping a chip in there and actually put it like hand in the mouth.

[Gene]

Hand in the mouth. And then he wait till it get to you and then he feed you and rub his finger down your lip.

[Mike]

N. He handed this wooden spoon over.

[Gene]

But also the other start seeing fist somebody.

[Mike]

The other thing that's always weird about like farmers market and stuff like that is that you know you have no. You're not gonna buy it. Like I know I'm not gonna buy a dip because I don't eat too many things that just like I just need chips and dips. I don't. That's not like my. In my. Is it time my repertoire.

[Gene]

Hey, that's pretty good. Long way from Reptar.

[Mike]

But that's not something I eat regularly. So it's like I knew I wasn't gonna eat it. So it's just like when you. You take a bite and then you gotta just like like yeah, that was good. You have a good day. It's just like very awkward.

[Gene]

Yeah. It's not good enough to buy my like what you want me to say? You want me to work like I was on shark tank. $10 y$10 5% man.

[Mike]

Now let me try to get over on them on Shark Tank.

[Gene]

They be like, yeah, man, $200,000 for all your company and your wife. Finally, my company.

[Mike]

A lot of those people go on Shark Tank. Not like they won't even accept those deals knowing they're going. They're going in knowing they're not going to accept whatever deal. It's just marketing.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Because after you appear on Shark Tank, you can run ads and be like, as seen on Shark Tank, even though none of the sharks took any of your deals and stuff like that.

[Gene]

Yeah. It also depends on. Sometimes people have great companies and it becomes stagnant at some point.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Gene]

Like, they need a really big investor to get that. And, like, the sharks know that. Just like, okay, for the last seven years, you made the exact same million dollar. Like, it's only 1 up 0.1. You went from 1.1 to 1.5 in the last four years. I give you 5 million right now.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Gene]

For 10. For like, 20. And they give it up. And then they take your company up to where it's supposed to be. You're probably looking like, damn, how much money we making now? We. My.

[Mike]

Why is it that sometimes when people say, like in a conversation, they say, be honest. Your first immediate thought is, for me sometimes is, how can I not be honest in this situation? I feel like when somebody says be honest, it makes me kind of go to, like, even as I was going to be honest at first, it now makes me, like, think of the other option right away.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Mike]

You know what I mean?

[Gene]

Why would I lie? Type. No. Yeah, it's a. I think it's a projection, though, you know, because usually I feel like people say that, like, when they're about to ask something that's, like, kind of vulnerable to them, you know?

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Gene]

But then it leaves you in a point where it's like, okay, shit, should I lie? Because they seem a little, like, vulnerable.

[Mike]

Yeah. So it makes me want to, like, immediately, like, lie, but lie to make them feel better.

[Gene]

Oh, okay. Y' all looking at it a totally different way. I only hear be honest and, like, negative. Negative situation. Sometimes for me, if I hear be honest, it's like, already know. So what I'm about to ask you, I just want to see if you tell the truth to my face.

[Mike]

Got it. Got it.

[Gene]

Be honest. Whatever they say I did, I did it. And I'm about to say it with confidence and I might double down. Be honest. Jeremiah said you called me a. Yes. Yes, I did.

[Mike]

Would you like to know the reason why he's.

[Gene]

Because you actually.

[Mike]

I can actually give you 20 reasons why I think you're a. This is not just like a random thought. This is something I really, like, thoroughly thought through.

[Gene]

If I say something like that, that means I already want to fight the person.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Gene]

So, like, if you ask me, be honest in that situation, like, there's no more words that need to be exchanged. This is my fourth square up. We squaring up. Like, I got too much anxiety to be beefing with a nigga. Let's get it over with. What we doing, man? Don't you wish people would just ask each other that? Like, okay, honestly, bro, we really don't like each other, but, like, what do we really do? Like, do you want to see me dead?

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Gene]

And the other person's like, yeah, yeah. Oh my God. Okay. You want to see me dead? All right, like, let me know. Because I feel like it's unfair because some people would just be like, oh, yeah, I'mma kill this dude. Another person, like, oh, I just want to kind of fight them. They like, on two different levels.

[Mike]

Yeah. I'm glad to be in a position where this hasn't happened in a while, but I've never had to have a. As a man conversation with anybody or. Or do say, I'm coming to you as a man to man type of.

[Gene]

Thing over a woman.

[Mike]

You're saying man to man about anything. Like, I've never had that type of, like, friction with nobody in. In such a long time.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Where it's like, especially like over a woman that would be like the things like, oh, bro, I'm gonna come to you man to man. Like, I. I like this girl and she's telling me like that, like, that I'm not close enough with anybody to have that kind of conversation with you.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Because if you're my friend, I'm not talking to your girl like that. Like a girl that you even like to me. Like, if anybody in this room right now, right. We're all. If we're all single and stuff like that. And you're. You even talk to a girl or like you guys had any type of intimate relationship, she, in my eyes is like untouchable at that point. Just. She don't. I don't look at her that way. Right. But there's some people that. That will come up to you and like, that just like, if it's not you guys, the person shouldn't be coming up to me that way anyway because he shouldn't feel that we're close enough for that to even matter.

[Gene]

Right.

[Mike]

Like, he was at Once talking to.

[Gene]

This girl, especially if that's our only connect, that should be the person we talking about. It's our only connection. Yeah, I seen G outfit too.

[Mike]

There's just some conversations in general outside even just like this girl. One is just like, you don't know me well enough to. For it to be that or it to be any type of friction or if you're dating a girl and you feel like your girl liked me, but I never even pursued her like that. Like, that should. That shouldn't be no friction. I don't know you. I don't know you. I don't know her.

[Gene]

Yeah. On the other side of it, as men or like whoever is in this situation, you should always look at the person that's doing the action also, like, first. It's just like, like so many people out here, like, they'll catch like their significant other cheating or something like that, and they'll go after the person they was cheating with.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Gene]

It's like, bro, like, look at the person that did this. Like, it'd be so weird like that. Yeah. Like, wait, what about him? He's still on your couch and talking about, man. I don't like her either, babe.

[Mike]

Yeah, I think they always care about that you. I think they always care about.

[Gene]

She says she want to fight.

[Mike]

I feel like people would care more about like the. If you're close with the person. Also, if there's like a. If it was a girl and it was like her best friend that cheated, that did the cheating too, I think there's a reason to be like more mad because you like, sometimes I think women would just bring like, he's a guy.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Mike]

And he's doing what? Like, oh, whatever. You seem like the typical toxic dude would do type of like, he has. He don't got self control.

[Gene]

The thing about it, what I'm like, what I've learned like through life because I have sisters. Like, my sisters tell me like, women. Women be knowing. You know what I'm saying? It just like. And I think about like all the situations I've ever been in, like, relationship or had like a situationship. I think back and I try to like, put myself in a position because I think as men, we think we're always the leaders and we think, oh, when I met that girl, it wouldn't have happened without me. Like, I'm the one that stopped right there. I'm the one that did that. And I guarantee you, like 95% of men that think that they bagged a girl. I bet you, you can sit down and have a conversation with them. And she put herself in position for you to do that. Like some of y' all girls, like, you think you picked her up at the subway. Nigga, she watched you going to that subway three straigh Sundays at 2:00'. Clock. Yeah. I'm about to go in there and sit at the table and drop my sandwich and go, oh, my God, I'll.

[Mike]

Pay for your sandwich, baby.

[Gene]

What you get a foot long day. I ain't got that kind of paper, baby.

[Mike]

That makes me think about how unrealistic like shows were about, like how to court women. Sometimes it's just like. Especially like the high school shows. You see, like you walk in with your books in the hallway in between classes is bump into the girl. You guys drop your books. You both reach down for the books and same book. Yeah. And then you're then gazing slowly rising up and then looking each other in the eye like that never happened, bro.

[Gene]

Like, who. Who drops books and gets horny? I'm worried about the books.

[Mike]

I'm mad.

[Gene]

God damn. Now you mad at the girl. Get your clumsy ass on. I gotta study.

[Mike]

I just don't feel like I've ever bumped up into. I've never bumped into a anybody and been attracted to them. It doesn't happen like.

[Gene]

No.

[Mike]

I feel like. Especially like if you're in a club or something like that, wherever you meet some or find a girl attractive and stuff like that, you're doing your best to maneuver your way through that whole scenario where it's like you're always in a good position.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Like, oh, she on that side. Let me maybe like go to that side of the bar. Go. Or hang out around there so I'm a little closer to this situation where I want to be again.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Mike]

You don't accident bump into. They had to thinking that was the way.

[Gene]

It's never the way the women controlled it the whole time. That's how you accidentally, like, she. But she got up the same time as you. She bumped into like there's nobody. Unless two people just haven't noticed each other before.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Gene]

That's the only time like, okay, y' all both went to the same unfinished legacy. Pop up. It's like, oh, I've never seen that girl. And it's. But what's the rare chance that she attracted to you too?

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Mike]

You think people are still like passing notes in class these days or just like. Like since the Internet came out, it's just like, oh, yeah.

[Gene]

I think writing I Don't even think kids write no more.

[Mike]

Yeah, I was gonna say nothing more. Nothing worse than the teacher. They don't give a though, because I, I understand my teachers so much better. Especially my young teachers. Like the teachers that were like in their 30s when I was a kid. I get them now because they'll see the note and no matter what's on that note, they're reading that out loud. It can be you confessing your love for this, this girl in class and they reading that shit out loud.

[Gene]

Now the moment, I don't know if y' all ever had this moment. You ever wrote like a girl a love note and she don't know that you like her yet. So this kind of like going off a whim like this being your crush and shit. And then you give the boys, your boys the note to give to the girl. And then you watch them down the hallway don't give it to her. You get to see her reaction and like first she take it and then she'd be like, who is this from? And then you can hear your boy say, my boy Pat.

[Mike]

And then he points you at the.

[Gene]

Day end the of the hall. And then you acting like you ain't.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you sidekick.

[Gene]

You like God damn, how many bucks I got in this? And then you see her and then she just chuck the D like, no, where's my backpack now?

[Mike]

Or just here? Ill.

[Gene]

Hearing. Ill. What you laughing at, G? Mike missed it. That's how he know it.

[Mike]

No, I heard you. I just ignore.

[Gene]

I just ignore either like either you missed it or you ignored. This message is sponsored by Greenlight. With school out, summer is the perfect.

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[Gene]

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[Gene]

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[Mike]

Brought to you by FXX and Hulu.

[Gene]

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[Mike]

While accidentally saving the day. The Planet Express crew is back.

[Gene]

Defying gravity and common sense. From the creator of The Simpsons comes.

[Mike]

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[Gene]

So I was watching. So I'm trying to get away from sports, but obviously the Lions been drawing me back in for the last three years. And I realized that when I'm watching a sport and my team is losing, nothing is fucking funny. Like the commercial suck. The announcers don't know what the fuck they talking about. And especially if there's been some bad calls. Again, everything the referee do pisses you off. Like, you become like, God forbid it's anybody that has any real flaws as a referee, and I'm mad like, I'm going in on them. And then yesterday, I was watching a team, and I think somebody threw like, it was a college football game. Somebody threw a basketball on the field, and the referee had the basketball and he was smiling. So, like I was saying, if at that time my team was losing, I would have fucking lost it on that nigga. Like, you think this shit a game, nigga? He laughing. Cause he know what moment he in. He got a bass. The ref had a bass. Like, he can't do that professionally or he get fired. But somebody threw it on the field, and he got that. And he got it, like, in a basketball. Like, he holding it in a basketball position, which will even piss me off even more. Like, no, hold that like it's a foreign object.

[Mike]

Yeah, get on the field.

[Gene]

That dribbling.

[Mike]

Hold it the same way he held it the same way he held the green dildo that be getting thrown.

[Gene]

But they threw that like it was a grenade. It was like.

[Mike]

I think that's the way you have to throw if you're throwing a dildo.

[Gene]

They don't call it dildos no more.

[Mike]

What do they call it?

[Gene]

The dough.

[Mike]

The dough?

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Okay. When you throwing the dough, I feel like you got to throw it a certain way. You kind of have to, like. Because I think doing this. This risk, if you throw it like this, you're risking the. The. The tip of the dough hitting your back.

[Gene]

Right, right.

[Mike]

And it throws. You kind of have to. You have to get it as far away from your body and flick it like a Frisbee.

[Gene]

No, you're grabbing it too hard.

[Mike]

No.

[Gene]

Yeah, you gotta kind of like. It's like almost like you grab it. It's like a. It's like a finger thing way too hard, trying to keep it one last touch. Now you really got a little toss it.

[Mike]

You might have to toss it on.

[Gene]

Somebody so it deflect, like. So it's like you're not the last person to touch it.

[Mike]

Get rid of this, you know, there's something. I start to realize how offensive the way you hold something is. Like there's to be. Sometimes my girl be folding some of my clothes and stuff like that. But sometimes I have my clothes. Clothes, like my sweaty clothes on the floor. And there's. Sometimes it might. The shirt might not be sweaty, but she still picks it up. Like with the pinch. When somebody pick. When somebody picks anything up, pinching it like that with the two fingers, it's like you're calling it dirty. And especially if it's not dirty, you kind of feel away. It's just like, bro, like, why are you holding that like that?

[Gene]

That's what it feels like hugging somebody. When you're sweaty, like you're sweating. Like somebody you ain't seen in a long time come up like, yo, bro, what's good? And you let them know that you're sweaty.

[Mike]

Yeah, because.

[Gene]

Because if you don't and they react a certain way, you're gonna feel a type of way. Yeah. Like you gonna be like, you gotta be up.

[Mike]

Yeah. Or they kind of give you. Or they kind of give you the half dap. And kind of. You know, sometimes people have like different dabs. Like the dap. And you bring it all the way in, but you. You trying to bring it all the way in and you see the person stop halfway and back out away. It makes you throw you off balances. They restrict the handshake.

[Gene]

Yeah. I'm not gonna lie. Sometimes I get offended by people that do that because some people just grew up up. And the way they shake hands just around their friends is like they don't really do like the back tab or they don't touch shoulders or they kind of like even keep like a space in between. And I'm kind of like in between. I don't really do the back tap, but I kind of do like a little shoulder bump. Like, what's good, bro? And there's dudes hands that I shake and they keep space in between. And like, I don't know why, but I just don't with them. Like my, like it always like, it's always kind of like awkward. Awkward because it's like it just stops abruptly. Then you gotta like look them in the eyes.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah.

[Gene]

And they might be cool. They might really with you. That's just how they grew up.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Gene]

Like, nah, I don't play them games, bro.

[Mike]

If I don't know you at all, like my first time meeting you, I am like a very distant handshaker. Like, I'm Stretching my hand out so much where it's like you, you feel weird. It's like it's too long of a way for you to try to bring it in because, you know, sometimes you're shaking somebody's hand, you have that, that. You have that like slight elbow bend, right?

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Mike]

I'm reaching my hand all the way out. So now it's like this. So like. Right. Shake my hand real quick.

[Gene]

It's like this.

[Mike]

You feel weird because now I'll pull it. You see how your shoulder felt?

[Gene]

Huh?

[Mike]

You see how your shoulder felt?

[Gene]

I just don't like you grabbing my fingers like. No, grabbing my fingers like.

[Mike]

But, but the tip of the fingers too. The tip of the fingers didn't do. You gotta have to stretch your arm out. So now you kind of feel. So it's like a. You just kind of like keep it solid and you kind of keep.

[Gene]

The fist bump is cool.

[Mike]

I'm a fist bumper. I'm a big fist bumper now especially just because. Because I don't want to get sick.

[Gene]

The wrist bump too. I really like the wristbump. Like, like, let's meet right there. Like forearms type.

[Mike]

Now the, the wrist bump in a non sporting setting is kind of weird.

[Gene]

Hold on.

[Mike]

Wrist bump with me real quick.

[Gene]

No, no, that's right here.

[Mike]

Wait, no, that's.

[Gene]

That's weird.

[Mike]

That's. That's a real.

[Gene]

That's the one that, the, that lady. When. When that lady, that white lady and that white old dude got caught talking about Kevin Durant at.

[Mike]

Oh, really?

[Gene]

He thought. They thought they didn't hear him and he went back and she tried to go put it right there, but. Yeah, that's the one you eating, right? Like you're eating.

[Mike]

Yeah, that's.

[Gene]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's good, bro? Bro, you ever seen somebody, man, like eating literally and then just like shake somebody's hand? I judge like they were just eating fries or some. And.

[Mike]

Yeah. Or they do. Or they'll give you like the lazy, like the lazy wipe. It's just like I'm about to shake your hand, but let me just like they'll be like, like a one wipe and try shake. I'm like, I know that still fist bumping this that you wiped your hand, but take this fist bump. Way too eager for.

[Gene]

The thing I don't like is like, you got to give yourself a. A 10 minute cool down from the bathroom. Like, I. I know you wash your hands.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah, I know you wash your hands.

[Gene]

But I shouldn't have to feel the Water and soap. Right. You know what I'm saying? And the soap. Yeah. Or even didn't dry off properly. Like I'd rather shake a dirty hand, a wet, clean hand. Because I'm like now you got me.

[Mike]

Guessing, like even, like even slightly damp hand as well.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Because even like, like the 10 minute cool off is definitely a good thing because even when you dry your hands, you still have like, like you just put on lotion type of hands on. Right. I don't, I don't want your hands to be like slippery like. Or too soft either. Yeah. Like too soft of a hand. There's some dudes, I shook their hands like you have some soft ass hands and it felt weird.

[Gene]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Mike]

Like that's good for them. Like I respect them having soft.

[Gene]

No, that. What are your couch.

[Mike]

Yeah, I got calluses. Toxic male.

[Gene]

No, for real. I don't. That's the only thing. It's like little flaws that people have that I really wouldn't want. Like, I'd just be like, man, Even though that's a tiny flaw to have and it doesn't mean anything health wise.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Gene]

I would never want it. And people with sweaty palms, I'm just like, I feel so bad for them because every time, like if you got sweaty palms, I think you're dirty as. And then like. And I have no right to say that. And that's like probably absolutely not true. True. But like if your hand is wet when I shake it, I assume there's like it's dirt. Sick. I think you sick. I ain't going to lie.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Gene]

Or something like good nervous. Like what's making you nervous, bro? Did a place get robbed 10 minutes later? Hey.

[Mike]

Yeah. Palm on the front door. Especially when you just been in the same room with the dude like for, for a long period of time. It's like, wait, what is making you like, like this? No, I'm just in it that way. You guys are so weird, bro.

[Gene]

Yo, bro, you got me.

[Mike]

What?

[Gene]

You guys are so weird. They can put his hands up, man by. You got. You got my hands wet as hell now. That's so crazy, bro.

[Mike]

There's something I don't like is I hated when. When I got the we need to talk text and that talk isn't for like another like seven hours. I make them. I make the conversation happen there, there and then.

[Gene]

Yeah, call me a narcissist, whatever.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Gene]

In therapy, this is what that if the therapist brought up, I just put.

[Mike]

Up the double bird.

[Gene]

You called me out.

[Mike]

Yeah. If you tell me you need to talk. If you had the time to tell me you need to talk. You have to have that conversation there and then. You can't say that and then wait seven hours. Yeah, yeah. Can we talk about no talk now.

[Gene]

That schedule can we talk? Shit is over. Especially as, like me growing up in a black household. Like, I had scheduled ass whoopings. Like, come on now. I knew I was getting schedules booked. I knew I was getting my ass beat. Like if my mom got home at 7:30, like, my mom, like, she like to get her task out the way. You know what I'm saying? Like, she beating shit as soon as she walk. You know what I mean? So allegedly. But you know what I'm saying? But it just like, but. Or punishments happen like at a certain time. So like, I grew up with that. Like, I feel like as a grown person you should be able to demand like, okay, I'm not gonna entertain a conversation unless I. You don't have to tell me everything. Yeah, but you got to give me like the basis of it. You gotta let me know how important this is.

[Mike]

The only time I think can we talk is relevant is when there was a conversation prior to that. So I already know what we're about to go talk about. There are some conversations, especially in relationships, where it's like, you guys had a big argument and stuff like this, and then the can we talk talk at this time when both of us are free? So I already know what the gist of everything. But if it's just out of nowhere, like, day is going good and like that, and it's, can we talk? Yeah, like, no. What?

[Gene]

It's low key, toxic. You know what you're doing?

[Mike]

Can we talk?

[Gene]

And then, and then it ends up.

[Mike]

Not being anything even bad. Oh my God.

[Gene]

Like, bro, like, no.

[Mike]

Like, no. We gonna argue about something now I be sick, man.

[Gene]

Now just be like, hey, somebody hit you up. Like, hey, can we, can we, can we talk around something? 7 Just like, Ah, knock, bro. That's kind of early. You think we can do nine? Like, no, they probably shoot you by then, but they watch you just tell me what's. Oh, okay. J.J. never want to kill you.

[Mike]

I was going to wait till seven.

[Gene]

To tell you had two hours. You know what I mean? But if you want to know now, go ahead. All right, Brody.

[Mike]

Oh, man.

[Gene]

Let me know if you getting on the game tonight or. Or I'll see. I'll just check the dudes.

[Mike]

That's crazy. All right. Before we end the pod though, do you got any tweets the weeks?

[Gene]

Oh, first one. This was Dan. We're getting in the spirit is left my car unlocked last night and somebody opened a spirit Halloween in it. And I think that's so the just be popping up the costume shops. It's already a spirit Halloween over by where we live.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah.

[Gene]

For real. Yeah, it's already up, bro. And people actually going in that. I seen somebody go in there and go and come out with a doctor's outfit. I said, you lazy. They ain't give no effort. They did that last year, Dr. Miami.

[Mike]

We literally walked into the Halloween store too.

[Gene]

But honestly, I think we need.

[Mike]

That's the thing.

[Gene]

More effort.

[Mike]

Yes. We're doing way more effort this year following. We're gonna do. Yeah, we'll host a party. Yeah.

[Gene]

It's gonna be lit this year. Okay. Yeah. Bigger. Yes. I want to do a thousand dollar competition for somebody. Whoever want to get knocked out.

[Mike]

A grand prize.

[Gene]

If you can take me and Mike's punches.

[Mike]

Stay.

[Gene]

Cody.

[Mike]

The slap league is crazy.

[Gene]

We just had like 15 unconscious things. Anybody else want to.

[Mike]

Like.

[Gene]

No. Okay. If a man ends a relationship, you was really doing too much. Men never end their relationship first. And I want to say like, that's not true. No, that's not true.

[Mike]

No, that's true.

[Gene]

Cuz, man, if I'm uncomfortable, I gots to go.

[Mike]

I think I do think for guys. I think guys don't aren't as direct when they want to end a relationship and they start doing things that in a relationship where it's like trying to sabotage a relationship.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Yeah. Most of the time. I think as a woman, they'll at least let you know how you how they feel. And then like, how this isn't working because it takes a lot. I won't say it does take a lot for a girl. Girl not to end a relationship.

[Gene]

Like, I'll say it takes. I feel like it's more. Yeah. I feel like dudes leave faster than women.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Gene]

In the.

[Mike]

Is it. In what? Our experience.

[Gene]

Our experience. The people we'd be around and stuff like that. Like the women barely ever leave.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Gene]

Every time. Work it out.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Gene]

Do everything.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Gene]

Well, she was only my half sister, so I'll take them back. All right, last one. I'm skipping through a couple because I was in like my dark humor phase and I was like, it's funny.

[Mike]

Like your tweet. A week at the beginning of the week can change. You're like, ah. Especially when, like when shit starts happening in the world. It's like, exactly.

[Gene]

That's why three of them are canceled out. But this is funny because I think me and you are, like, very similar children. And, like, how we looked at, like, society. And I think Gene's the same way. This is gonna make sense.

[Mike]

Sense.

[Gene]

From a young age, I always knew I was never gonna give a. Because, like, I didn't understand certain consequences. It's just like, you ever been talking in class and a teacher catch you talking in class, and she punished you for talking in class? She. You weren't supposed to. And it's like, wait, you gave me, like, an extra hour of school because I was talking to class for 15 seconds and just like, bro, like, I'm. I just might as well do the work. Sometimes I do more in a situation knowing I'm gonna get what punishment I'm gonna. Oh, you was gonna catch me talking anyways. I might as well finish my sentence.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Gene]

And make you look bad. Hold on real quick, teacher. As I was saying before she put me in detention, I would love to play kickball at the school.

[Mike]

You gotta crash out a little bit more.

[Gene]

I'm just gonna be an hour late.

[Mike]

But was there. Was there a time you guys were ever afraid of your teacher calling your parents like that? That threat scared you?

[Gene]

After a while, I got numb to it.

[Mike]

It was a time. There was a time where it's like, I knew it was what it was at that point. Like, I. I also wanted. I was a prideful kid, too. Like, so it's like, I'm gonna call your parents. Like, I didn't want them to know. That even scared me. So I always want to. And I was like, oh, yeah. Called him. But I just had no reaction. I was very, like, stoic type of look and just like, okay, and let them do it at that point. It is what it is.

[Gene]

No, I didn't care until my dad got it jail. And then he showed. He showed up for the first time. He was whooping feet, huh? He's all, you want to be a comedian, huh? No, that's. That the worst. Like, people don't understand, like, having a male as your main disciplinary person. Oh, my God, bro. Especially like, my dad, like, from the hood.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Gene]

So he wouldn't talk to me. And it just come out of nowhere. He will wait until it piles up. But he would get me for, like, my least offense. So it would like, also catch me off guard. Okay. I got kicked out of school for fighting. Right. He wouldn't talk to me for, like, 40 hours. No. No words Exchanged just only signals. Okay, we leaving. Go get dressed. Blah, blah. No words changed. Like, he disappointed. So he made me feel that. And then he'll wait until, like, we in a drive through, and then he'd just be like, what you want? Like, I don't know. Always being so indecisive. Like, damn, over to Burger King. He's like, no everything. Start naming all the bad you did. He's like, you reading off, you getting your sentence read. And you want to fight me? Huh? You want to fight me like you did here? Yeah, you want to fight me? This is what you do. Like, they take it to the extreme. Like, bro, they got you working for somebody for free and you going to work at this gas station for 10 days.

[Mike]

My thing was never even. My parents are always weird about the things they got mad about. It was never like. It could be like talking in class. You get kind of scolded at not doing. Showing up late, not doing homework. But it. The thing that really got them mad was being disrespectful. If there's anything about being disrespectful that sent them over the edge because to them, that spoke more about them than it did me. So, like, the homework stuff is like, oh, kids being kids, just talking to class. Kids being kids. You disrespecting your teacher. No, that's not what we. That's not what we teach, like, orally.

[Gene]

They don't care you talked in class. They care. You talk back to the teacher. That's probably the angriest mind you dad ever got. Like, I. I didn't really get in trouble like that in school, but, like, there was actually a teacher I actually didn't like. Like, the first grown man I didn't like because I knew he didn't like me from the get go. Like, we just didn't like each other. It's just like that weird relationship. Like a grown man not liking you, you not liking him. And, like, he was trying to, like, get me in trouble with my dad. And it was just like, my pride was just so up there, like, oh, you think you about to, like, jump me with my dad?

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Gene]

And I was just like, I literally did this, like, to. And like, I was about to shoo him off. And, like, before my hand hit the, like, thing, my dad was like. But I just wanted him to know he wasn't gonna hold me. Mr. Aosi, you still a ho ass.

[Mike]

And I put.

[Gene]

I put that on everything. If I. If I get canceled for this, it's.

[Mike]

Him, I think, too I think it's different that, bro. With kids these days. I think it's different because I think, I think some kids should have like a healthy, healthy fear of their parents. But not in the same way as like maybe when we were kids, like not maybe the fear of like violence because it's just different times, but more of the fear like disappointing your parents. And I think the way. And I think parents are like our. We're kind of like the parents now, like the age of age of parents and stuff like that. I think parents.

[Gene]

Everybody is.

[Mike]

Yeah, everybody but the new parents. Now I think they should put more emphasis on. Of being proud of your kids so they know when you are, when you disappoint them, that's when it hits hardest, you know?

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Mike]

So like, I don't think people don't show that enough. They don't like show like how proud they are their kids or their accomplishments. Even the littlest things. If you're hype about the littlest things your kids do, I think that would like build that confidence up. So it's like when you do something like, I don't have to touch you. I'm just disappointed in you. You know what I mean? And then that's like, I don't want to disappoint him because the way the support he shows me when I do the things right and I want to keep doing those things right. But people think you gotta ah, GRA GRA GRA with the kids now, but that's.

[Gene]

But the parents that have both and they mix it with that type of discipline. Those are the best parents. Yeah, yeah. I could you up, but I always praise you.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Gene]

So then like the scale grows larger. Sometimes you got those like parents that like, they're soft on crime.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Gene]

And it's just like, ah, man, my kid got caught selling drugs in school. No cell phone for six months. Like, no, man, you gotta beat the shit up.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah.

[Gene]

You gotta make him smoke all that weed and just stare at him like, no, you about to smoke every. Everything you was about to say. You about to smoke it all.

[Mike]

You better hope that not laced and.

[Gene]

Then you end up smoking with him like, no, this is good. I ain't going to lie. You done accidentally hot boxing, cuz.

[Mike]

You.

[Gene]

You gotta be high as hell, son. You was really so nice job. Hey, if you really want to do this, Pop's gonna support. Man, that's some good shit. Let's do it the legal way.

[Mike]

We can get. Get your license.

[Gene]

Nah, fuck all that, man. It's not about to be ghosts.

[Mike]

No.

[Gene]

What if it was a parent that actually, like, helped their kid? Because usually, like, in that situation, if they help their kids sell drugs, that means, like, they're into it, too. Yeah, but what if they were just doing it? Like, my dad has a 9 to 5, and he gives me advice on what to do. They're just like, yeah, you need to get Chico out your crew, man. Yeah, I don't trust him, man. I ain't trust him since y' all was seven. He always used to steal around here, man. Yeah, nothing with Chico. All right, I gotta go to the plant, man. I see you later.

[Mike]

Let me know how everything is.

[Gene]

Clean your room, man. Clean your room, man. Got coke everywhere. God damn.

[Mike]

Anyways, that has been crash dummies episode 224. Right?

[Gene]

Yeah, 224.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Gene]

Two. Two.

[Mike]

Appreciate y' all for listening to pod. Appreciate you guys for subscribing to the Patreon. We dropped the. The Pilates vlog on there.

[Gene]

I know y' all with it.

[Mike]

Yeah. And that's not. Remember, that's not the only reason. The vlog stuff and everything, that's just extra for the Patreon people. It's two episodes a month. Extra episodes a month. That's the base thing you get. And we put out. You know, we just put out one, so go listen to that one. We're probably gonna drop one on YouTube soon just so y' all can see how it gets down in Patreon. But what else? We're gonna. We're thinking about doing a show in Chicago. So our Chicago listeners just comment if you're in Chicago. So we want to get a little gauge on, like, what a Chicago show would look like.

[Gene]

Yeah, Also. Also. Okay, no, go ahead.

[Mike]

No, I have nothing.

[Gene]

No, go ahead. But also, we gonna start doing. Obviously, those of you who follow us on Twitch see that we go live on Twitch. We're also going to create a Discord room. Discord voice channel for our Patreon listeners only. We're going to lock the room. So that'll be something that we're going to add.

[Mike]

We're gonna lock the room.

[Gene]

Yeah, we're gonna lock you in. There ain't no leaving, no logging off.

[Mike]

No, you locked in the room with.

[Gene]

Us two hours, camera zone. No, but. No, but we gonna do that. We're gonna try to, like. We're gonna wait to see how we can schedule it wise. So we're just gonna try to be as consistent as we can, and then we're gonna start doing it, like, on schedule. So, you know, we'll give you a notification.

[Mike]

Like town hall meetings?

[Gene]

Yeah, town hall meetings. Like, it could be something like some constructive criticism, but best believe you're gonna get some constructive rebuttals, too. My.

[Mike]

Or just topics, too, that we talking about. The pod.

[Gene]

Exactly. Sometimes some of the best topics come from y'. All. Y' all don't even know. Like, some of y' all that dm DM us. We might not respond because you look weird as hell, but I still read everything that's sent to me. Some people, I. I get so many that I feel bad that I don't give people credit for the tweet of the weeks. I would say, like 60 to 70 of the tweet of the weeks come from people that send me stuff. So send me stuff. But I want you to know, if it has over a hundred thousand likes, do not send that to me. I've seen it already. Come on now. Like, just be for real. I'm on Internet. You ain't got to do that. Do that. And if you've seen the video twice. I've seen it five times. Don't send that to me or you get blocked.

[Mike]

Anyway, that's been crash dummies episode 224. I appreciate it.

[Gene]

224.

[Mike]

224.

[Gene]

224.

[Mike]

224.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Mike]

R.P.

[Gene]

Kobe.

[Mike]

All right. Anyway, peace.

[Gene]

And Doug, here we have the Limu Emu in its natural habitat, helping people customize their car insurance and save hundreds of With Liberty Mutual. Fascinating. It's accompanied by his natural ally, Doug. Uh, limu is that guy with the binoculars watching us? Cut the camera. They see us. Only pay for what you [e-mail] Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty Savings Fairy. Underwritten by Liberty Mutual Insurance Company and affiliates.

[Mike]

Excludes Massachusetts.

[Gene]

Your sausage McMuffin with egg didn't change.

[Mike]

Your receipt did. The sausage McMuffin with egg extra value.

[Gene]

Meal includes a hash brown and a small coffee for two. Just $5 only at McDonald's for a limited time. Prices and participation may vary.