The Prices Are Up W/ Myron Jewels

Summary

Crash Dummies Podcast with Pat and Mike

Episode: The Prices Are Up w/ Myron Jewell

Date: December 3, 2025
Guest: Myron Jewell (Comedian)

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Episode Overview

In this lively and uncensored episode, Pat and Mike welcome comedian Myron Jewell for a hilarious deep dive into everything from hygiene horror stories to evolving social norms, Thanksgiving leftovers, high school misadventures, and the economics of modern dating. The trio is later joined by listeners who contribute stories and hot takes, creating frenetic, real-talk chaos. The tone is unapologetically candid, raunchy, self-deprecating, and always quick with a punchline.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Thanksgiving Hygiene & Etiquette

(01:01 – 03:40)

• Pat relates an awkward Thanksgiving experience where the host was unusually musty, sparking debate about personal hygiene at gatherings.
• Myron takes it further with a vivid story about his grandma’s cooking quirks and the psychological effects on his appetite.
• Quote:
  • Myron: “If I eat a peanut dog in some lasagna, I’mma be mad as hell.” (03:09)
  • Pat: “You hyping up the pasta because it got almonds in it. She like, ‘I ain’t put no almonds in there, baby!’” (03:17)

2. Body Types, Attraction, and Relationship Transparency

(05:24 – 10:08)

• Myron confesses his well-known obsession with breasts, detailing his unfiltered reactions and childhood memories.
• The hosts discuss dynamics of complimenting women within relationships and how to safely navigate those situations with partners.
• Quote:
  • Myron: “I like all titties… but when they big, I’m looking at them—since I was a kid!” (07:11)
  • Mike: “Controlling your horniness on the Internet is a very mature thing.” (09:54)

3. Relationships, Co-Parenting, and Reconciliation

(11:00 – 13:39)

• Myron shares his unique story of reconciling with his son’s mother after 15 years apart and how effective co-parenting shaped their family dynamic.
• Pat and Mike reflect on parental relationships and the challenges of blended or separated family dynamics.
• Quote:
  • Myron: “We was broken up 15 years. We just got back together… but we was great co-parents.” (11:14–11:33)
  • Pat: “That’s good co-parenting. That’s healthy as fuck.” (12:34)

4. Thanksgiving Leftovers: Expiration Debate

(15:07 – 16:59)

• The crew debates how long is too long to keep and share Thanksgiving leftovers.
• Joke about toxic leftovers:
  • Pat: “As long as my Mac and cheese don’t do pushups, it’s getting ate!” (15:28)

5. High School Stories: Backpacks, Suspension & Hiding from Parents

(20:10 – 25:11)

• Reminiscing about “that guy” who never brought school supplies, asking for pencils and books.
• Myron admits he “skipped” suspension by hiding out in the building instead of actually going home.
• Pat and Mike recall parental strictness and the trauma of in-school suspension.
• Quote:
  • Myron: “Now that I’m older, I’m like, dude, I really went to school and skipped in the building… for eight hours.” (22:27)

6. Parental Secrets & Pregnancy Scares

(25:32 – 27:20)

• Segment where guests confess secrets their parents never found out about.
• Pat recalls the anxiety of a teenage pregnancy scare.
• Myron’s cautionary tale about being surprised by a paternity test years after a group encounter.
• Quote:
  • Myron: “That was the biggest relief. But my homie walked out, told the mom, ‘Good luck finding the daddy!’” (30:39)

7. Paying for Sex and Modern Dating Economy

(37:31 – 43:14)

• Myron shares candid stories about paying for sex ("the prices have gone up"), past life as a scammer, and turning away from that lifestyle as he moves into ministry.
• The hosts rib him about the “high” $400 sum and his journey to redemption.
• Quote:
  • Pat: “We’re saying at no point in our lives will we ever spend 400. So you doing something that’s crazy.” (41:58)
  • Myron: “Man, I ain’t gonna lie. Just get life to God, man. Open that Bible and read that scripture.” (43:05)

8. Listener Hot Takes and Call-Ins

Various segments where listeners chime in, offering up:

• Confessions of wild family bathroom mishaps (lactose-induced accidents) (46:01 – 48:52)
• Frustration with parents only calling for money (57:27–61:52)
• Ghosting and relationship retaliation ("If you ghost me, I'm cheating!") (76:47–82:49)
• "Normalized" prostitution and how social/digital trends affect dating culture (37:31 – 43:14)
• Outlandish supernatural encounters with "witches" and "succubi" in college (52:45–56:17)
• Hot takes: NHL playoffs better than NBA (73:51–76:29), men who are homophobic are often suppressing something (63:11–65:23)

9. Food Presentation Pet Peeves & Chipotle Mishaps

(83:05 – 85:25)

• Riffing on people posting ugly Thanksgiving plates; the importance of food “plating.”
• Petty gripes about Chipotle employees inadequately scooping or wrapping burritos.

10. Humor, Language, and "Pause" Culture

(86:01 – 89:19)

• The evolution of "pause" humor (“no homo,” “pause,” etc.) and how generational slang interacts with today’s sensibilities.
• Example: analyzing Fat Joe’s “pause-worthy” podcast moment.

11. Coping with Awkward or Serious Moments through Laughter

(90:04–92:03)

• How grief or tense news sometimes causes inappropriate laughter.
• Pat and Myron share stories of laughing at funerals and other serious situations due to friends’ reactions.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On leftover food:
  “As long as my Mac and cheese don’t do pushups, it’s getting ate.” – Pat (15:28)

• On musty Thanksgiving hosts:
  “This is your place. You should never stink in your house with company over.” – Pat (01:34) “The Mac and cheese tastes like it got vinegar in.” – Pat (02:33) “Add a little flavor to it.” – Mike (02:34)

• On modern dating:
  “Prostitution has become normalized, bro. That’s crazy.” – Myron (37:37) “We’re saying at no point in our lives will we ever spend 400. So you doing something that’s crazy.” – Pat (41:58)

• On childhood obsessions
  “I knew I was obsessed with titties… going through the lunch line looking at big old titties on lunch ladies.” – Myron (07:11)

• On co-parenting and reconciliation:
  “So he seen like all great co-parenting… I always said for years, I already knew. I kept telling her, I said, I’m getting you back.” – Myron (11:33, 12:39)

• On being controlled by parents even as adults:
  “Stop calling me when it’s only about money. These niggas do not respond to not a text, not a call about nothing else.” – Anonymous listener (57:32)

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Timestamps: Important Segments

• Musty Thanksgiving & Food Safety: 01:01 – 03:43
• Body Type Preferences & Childhood Stories: 05:24 – 10:08
• Relationship Transparency & How to Compliment Safely: 09:05 – 10:24
• Co-parenting & Getting Back Together: 11:00 – 13:39
• Thanksgiving Leftover Rules: 15:07 – 16:59
• High School Suspension Confessions: 20:10 – 25:11
• Parental Secrets: 25:32 – 27:20
• Paternity Panic Story: 27:20 – 31:07
• Spending Money for Sex & Redemption: 37:31 – 43:14
• Listener: Lactose Mishap: 46:01 – 48:52
• Ghosting and “Cheating Back” Hot Take: 76:47 – 82:49
• Food Presentation Pet Peeves: 83:05 – 85:25
• Generational Slang & Pause Moments: 86:01 – 89:19
• Coping with Serious Moments via Laughter: 90:04 – 92:03

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Episode Tone & Style

The conversation is high-energy, improvisational, raw and unapologetically honest, with a comedic tilt. The hosts and guest often veer into adult themes, using urban vernacular and inside jokes that lend the show a barbershop, friend-circle feel. Personal stories are shared with little filter, offering both laughs and some relatable moments.

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Closing & Plugs

• Myron shouts out his comedy career, movies, and his “Best Dad in the World Comedy Tour” (94:25).
• Hosts remind listeners to check Patreon and buy live show tickets.

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For fans of irreverent, unfiltered comedy podcasts, this episode delivers a rapid-fire blend of real-life confessions, relationship debate, and streetwise social commentary—all while never missing a chance for a laugh.

Transcript

[Myron Jewell]

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[Pat]

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[Myron Jewell]

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[Pat]

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[Myron Jewell]

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[Pat]

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[Myron Jewell]

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[Pat]

To somebody's house for Thanksgiving and the food was good, the house was clean. But the person I was cooking and person whose house it was, they were musty.

[Mike]

Okay?

[Pat]

And like, I give people the benefit of the doubt. Like, we hooping and I smell you. Maybe, you know, you ain't catch a shower, you at the grocery store. I smell you. Maybe you came here after the gym, but stinking in your own fucking house.

[Mike]

I feel like it's the place that stink, though.

[Pat]

No, it's not, bro. It's like you got everything there. You got access to everything. Like you got deodorant, soap in this motherfucker. Like, this is your place. Like, you should never stink in your house with company over.

[Mike]

Like, would you leave?

[Pat]

Huh?

[Mike]

Would you leave?

[Pat]

No, I got that motherfucker to go.

[Myron Jewell]

I feel like.

[Mike]

Would you leave?

[Myron Jewell]

I. Definitely not. The food. Am I staying? I eat the food. Yeah, somebody musty.

[Pat]

Yeah, but they can cook though. But they musty as hell.

[Myron Jewell]

I wouldn't eat. I ain't going to lie to you. I wouldn't eat it. Very picky. I'm not eating it. I'm not eating it.

[Pat]

But it's that type of. It's a. I want to say it was a type of musty. This is why I should have left. It was a type of musty where I'm not sure that it's coming from your arms. You know what I mean?

[Myron Jewell]

Like, see, I'm petty too, man. Cause like, you know, some people got like cabinets over the. Over the stove, you know what I'm saying? Imagine somebody cooking, that same musty person reaching over that food to get some seasoning, you know what I'm saying?

[Pat]

They getting seasoned.

[Myron Jewell]

All this is just over the food.

[Mike]

Add a little flavor to it.

[Pat]

The Mac and cheese tastes like it got vinegar in.

[Myron Jewell]

It's that new mustache. Like, nah, I wouldn't do it, man. I didn't even. Like, my grandma could cook, right? My grandmother could cook really good. But she used to eat like, this is a true story. She used to like to eat peanuts. But she got one of them mouths like when she talked like, you know what I mean? So she talked like that. So every time when she cooking, I would go over there. I would never eat after once I noticed that. Cause in my mind I'm like, I know some of them peanuts. Finding that food. Everybody eating, they like, you hungry? I'm trying to pick the food that everybody else brought, but I'm like, I know it's good, but if I eat a peanut dog and some lasagna, like, I'm be mad as hell.

[Pat]

You hyping up the pasta. Cause it got almonds in it. Like that looks. I like this. She like, I ain't put no almonds in there, baby. Like, what the fuck?

[Myron Jewell]

I would sit at the table, just be staring at her, bro, like just watching her talk. And I'm like, I'm just seeing all the chew peanuts. Cause she talk with her mouth open, like. And it used to bother me so much. But I'm like 11, you know, at that age, we eat off the floor still.

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. If it bothered you back then, that was some shit.

[Myron Jewell]

Yeah, I was like, man, but that was. I see, I don't know. Drop it on the floor.

[Mike]

That's different.

[Myron Jewell]

You drop on the floor. You heard me grab it. But this is out somebody else mouth, you know what I'm saying?

[Mike]

Nah, that's crazy. Anyway, welcome to Crash Dummies podcast, episode 235. I'm Mike. We got Pat here, Myron. We'll let you guys introduce yourselves.

[Myron Jewell]

What's up? I'm comedian Myron Jewell. I'm faithful now. I used to be cheating as Myron. I keep that fo fo. And now I'm just like, everybody love how I irritate my son. Who are you gonna make him talk?

[Mike]

G, can you lift his mic up a little?

[Myron Jewell]

Oh, yes. I do stand up comedy too. And I act. I got some movies out too. I left that out.

[Pat]

You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

[Myron Jewell]

So I'm a whole around entertainer. I just don't dance.

[Mike]

Keep that's key.

[Pat]

No, our other, our other co hosts that be here sometimes, he put the mic on his belly like. Yeah, he big, big niggas love they belly. Like they always touching their belly like Somebody gonna come and take it or something. They do.

[Myron Jewell]

They sit like this. You ever say they sit like this? Yeah, that's sitting there like this.

[Pat]

He ate off that before, too. I seen him balance a whole. He balanced a whole plate on that.

[Myron Jewell]

Never.

[Pat]

Yeah. No, he.

[Mike]

He don't.

[Pat]

Big butt.

[Myron Jewell]

I'm gonna say belly, man.

[Pat]

I'm gonna say big belly.

[Myron Jewell]

He laughing now. I miss that.

[Pat]

Big belly, man.

[Myron Jewell]

Big belly.

[Pat]

Hey, man, it come with it.

[Myron Jewell]

Come with it. Like, I talk too fast. That's what that is, man.

[Pat]

Nobody going up to don't do no big belly. Like, bro, you ain't got no ass, bro. Don't eat bats, bro.

[Myron Jewell]

That's why, man, before you introduce yourself.

[Mike]

That'S how it is.

[Myron Jewell]

The big girls, man. Like, like, I love. I love titties, right? I can't stand to see a big girl with little titties, man. I feel like all big girls that have big titties. So when I've seen some with little titties, like, I've seen. Because with flat butts, too, so that don't really shock me. But titties, like, there's no way. You should have, like, eight cups and you, like. And you like, 250.

[Mike]

Sometimes the weight just go to a different part, you know, like when people do lifting and all this shit, it's just like. Just gain weight in certain areas.

[Pat]

Now you mentioning lifting with titties is so crazy. Like, when women's titties.

[Myron Jewell]

Oh, yeah.

[Pat]

By telling her to lift some more. Maybe if you did some more.

[Mike]

Bitch.

[Myron Jewell]

What? You know what? I already. So, like, we. I'm a titty man, right? Y' all like titties or no?

[Mike]

Yeah, sure.

[Myron Jewell]

It's like, sure. Like, I'm saying, because with that when they're presented. So now y' all got me understanding why people be tripping on me. Like, not nothing bad, but when they see how much I love, like, anybody that knows me, they be like, dude love titty. So it's not like I don't love thighs and big butts, and I love all of that. But the same way you might react if a girl walked past with a big butt. Like, God dang, it's big. I do that, too. But when I see titties, y' all might just be like, oh, they big. But me, I'm like, God damn. I don't care how old she is. I seen a woman, like, 65 in the mall. They was big and saggy, and she had no bra. All I seen was titty, so.

[Mike]

Well, how big we talking. That's gonna get the reaction from you. You talk about like B cup and up C cups, you know.

[Pat]

Wait, wait, wait. But sometimes I do see those girls, they like real thick. They got like big ass titties. And I'm like, who's consuming that content? So it's nice to meet you. Yeah. Like, it's the size. So like the bigger the titty, the more you attract it. So even if it's like, oh, I've never seen a titty that big type of titty.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Myron Jewell]

So I like. So we ain't gonna say this. I like all titties, right? Cause you know, some girls can have nice ones on their shape. So I like all titties. But when they big, like, woman walking here right now, I don't have to be attracted to her. I don't even wanna touch her. I might be like, ah. But I'm looking at them titties, like, for real, like. And it's been since I was a kid, like, I go through the little elementary school, be going through the little line with my tray, and some of them cooks, you know, they was weak looking, but they had some big old titties. I used to be tapping my friend. I like, look at her titties. That's. I knew I was obsessed with titties. But like, when you're younger, you got.

[Mike]

You look up at the titties too.

[Myron Jewell]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Now they going through. They going through his math workbook and they just seen drawn titties right here. Like, is these parentheses or just. Why are your parentheses guys D in the middle?

[Mike]

You know, sometimes I'll joke around. I would turn the titty that I drew into a cat into, you know, like the whiskers kind of. You have the initial thing and you just kind of turn into a. Nah.

[Myron Jewell]

I just, I just feel like you could do more with titties than you can do with a butt.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Myron Jewell]

You ain't got to get super in detail, but I just thought you can do more with him.

[Pat]

Yeah, he. He's so uncomfortable right now.

[Mike]

Pat is the biggest deflector Jean back.

[Pat]

There sweating my lord, that we can't.

[Myron Jewell]

Talk about this, huh?

[Mike]

What are you talking about? He trying to say because my.

[Myron Jewell]

I have a girl. Yeah. Oh, so I do too. But she know I love J, right? So I ain't going, bro.

[Pat]

His girl don't know he love titties, though.

[Myron Jewell]

I know me and my girl will.

[Mike]

Compliment a girl in like, together.

[Pat]

But do she got to go first, though?

[Mike]

She has to go like my Girl was like, me like, oh, that girl got a big girl. Have a really nice body, right? And I'd be like, which one?

[Pat]

Nah, that's play. Y' all better. That's game right there.

[Mike]

I was like, really? I was like, oh, okay, okay. I'm a peep.

[Pat]

The next time you just put a lot of men on because they be fucking up, they be talking about you talking about her. She be like, no, nigga, you gotta.

[Mike]

Let her point the girl out, too, or show you on the phone who she's talking about.

[Myron Jewell]

Yeah, you can't walk up to. I can't. No, I can't do that. I can't walk up to my woman, man, and be like, hey, man, look at. Look at these titties. Like, nah, man, not with your phone. I mean, I'm over there looking at her.

[Mike]

What?

[Pat]

Man, I thought. I thought we do this together.

[Myron Jewell]

Like, I don't think. I don't think she. She know I like him, but I don't. I don't be.

[Mike]

Girls aren't stupid.

[Myron Jewell]

I ain't on Instagram liking pictures of.

[Mike]

Yeah, you can't do nothing like that. But I've seen.

[Pat]

That's good, though. He, like, controlling your horniness on the Internet is, like, a very mature thing. Like, I be seeing dudes get lost in the sauce. Like, they what they like, in a naked picture and might leave a comment.

[Myron Jewell]

Facts, dude. It's certain people. It's certain people that I've seen. Like, so I ain't saying they name some of my celebrity friends, right? And everything. Every time, like, if I was just scrolling on my for you page or something, you know, stuff can pop up. Women.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Myron Jewell]

I see the same people on the likes every time. I'm like, God dang. I expect to see. They, like, when I click it, I'm like, I know they gonna be in there.

[Pat]

I. I just don't get it. Like, what could possibly make you that horny? So you'd be like, man, this picture satisfied me. Double tap. Like, what?

[Mike]

The other thing is watching who, like, follows pages? Like, you'll see, like, oh, yeah, yeah.

[Pat]

You'll see, like, the only fans girl, right?

[Mike]

But it's like one of those ones with, like, stupid big titties and stupid big ass. Just like, real freaky shit. And you see. Followed by Myron Jules.

[Myron Jewell]

You probably did see some of that. This is what me and my lady talked about, right? Cause, like, living in Atlanta, you know, we just got back together, March on my birthday. Me and his mom, we was broke. We broken up. A few.

[Mike]

You don't hear that a lot.

[Myron Jewell]

We was broken up 15 years. We just got back together.

[Pat]

That's crazy.

[Myron Jewell]

This year, March 29th on my birthday. So how you feel about that? I feel good about it.

[Pat]

You feel good? Oh, you different. You must love both your parents. I would have hated that shit. I'd be like, y' all both about to be in the same room at the same time.

[Mike]

Fuck.

[Myron Jewell]

But fucked up. I think it's cause we was great co parents. So, like, when he was young, all the crazy things we did, he don't remember none of that. He was too young. But we tell a lot of stories. And he was like 3:2, so he don't remember. So he seen like all great co parenting. Cause my mind was just like, we already a statistic by not being together. But I didn't want to be like a double statistic. Like, we not together and we can't stand each other. And then it's like he gotta watch this, you know, broken home crazy stuff all the way. You know what I mean? So even though we wasn't together, he still seen us get along, be around each other and hang out. And the crazy thing is we was not even he 18 now. We wasn't even sexually active. And people don't believe that for so many years. You like, ah, you have to dip me at once.

[Pat]

I ain't gonna lie. I wouldn't even want to hear that as a grown man, what you just said. I would have been like, come on.

[Myron Jewell]

Hey, man. Hey, man.

[Pat]

It's so ma. So Mac. It's something different. What's different? Do you feel a difference? Like now they back together?

[Myron Jewell]

Not really.

[Pat]

That's good co parenting. That's healthy as fuck. Damn, man, listen.

[Myron Jewell]

We used to go to all this basketball. We get the same room, and she just get a bed. I get a bed. We wasn't even thinking about each other. We had fun kicking. It's just like, I ain't asked who she was talking to, what she was doing, you know what I mean? She didn't care what I was doing. And then her family loved me. My family loved her. So I always said for years, though, I already knew. I kept telling her, I said, I'm getting you back. So I was just out here just living, waiting, Living and waiting. You know what I'm saying? I was like, I was doing me cause I was single, you know? But I was like, hey, as soon as she called, I'm gone, I'm gone.

[Pat]

You calling her, she talking about you up early. You never went to sleep. I love you. We gonna get back to together.

[Myron Jewell]

1.

[Pat]

He just leaving the club.

[Myron Jewell]

She used to laugh at me all the time. Like, I used to be like, yeah, laugh now, love later. Laugh now, love later. You don't really hear that.

[Mike]

Those stories.

[Pat]

N n n. I tell you my. My parents will never get back together, and I make sure of that. Look, do.

[Myron Jewell]

Look, he like.

[Pat]

He like that at your age, I.

[Mike]

Feel like it's different.

[Myron Jewell]

So what's. I'm saying, what's the reason, though?

[Pat]

What.

[Myron Jewell]

I mean, what, it was that bad or. Like, I'm saying, I just feel like.

[Pat]

I just feel like with both of them. I'm not saying them, but I just said, like, if I had to be in the same room as them, I couldn't be in the same room as him at the same time. I just don't, you know, I just don't with it like that. Like I with them individually, but like, together, Hell no.

[Myron Jewell]

That's crazy.

[Pat]

No, they be talking sometimes on the phone. I'd be shutting that shit down. My mom be on the phone.

[Mike]

Dirty Mac, Dirty Mac.

[Pat]

My dad be like. I'd be like, yeah, I just got off this guy at the phone with dad. He like, around like five women right now. You say he was on the phone with you earlier this week? Oh, he be calling. He be calling his other baby mama, too. So I see like, baby. Maybe he just spreading the love a little bit.

[Myron Jewell]

Even when I was single, though, like, he's met people by default. But, like, I never was. It was never a thing for me to just bring him around other women like. You know what I mean? Besides one person. Cause I was dealing with her.

[Mike]

I don't even. I don't.

[Myron Jewell]

Man. I ain't. Man.

[Pat]

Shout out to her, man.

[Myron Jewell]

Nah, we shot her out. She had a crazy.

[Pat]

No, I met you the way.

[Myron Jewell]

Yeah. I ain't giving her nose chime, man. I'm talking about my woman, man.

[Pat]

She on that, man.

[Myron Jewell]

Talk about me. We talk to.

[Pat]

Ah.

[Myron Jewell]

N N. We talking about Quan. Quan, I love you.

[Pat]

Now he gonna be playing.

[Myron Jewell]

I know why I look at the screen.

[Mike]

Oh, is there. So it's Thanksgiving, obviously. Is there a time limit to when you can. When you have to. Is there a time limit to stop eating your Thanksgiving food today? So Thanksgiving is Thursday. So Sunday is the day.

[Pat]

Sunday.

[Myron Jewell]

It depends on how I look like. That's what I do. I just keep opening up and look at it. If it still look healthy, I'm gonna eat it. It start looking all moist and Smushy.

[Pat]

It's like, nah, this long as my Mac and cheese don't do push ups. It's getting eight.

[Myron Jewell]

Like, come on, man.

[Pat]

The Mac and cheese literally doing a somersault, my nigga. Mac and cheese alive now.

[Mike]

I think there's a limit, though, to when you can offer somebody a to go plate, though.

[Pat]

Like, oh, like some of your food.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

You can't be giving out poison.

[Myron Jewell]

Leftover food.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Myron Jewell]

If I got leftover food, it's like, I got limited. So many days before.

[Mike]

I feel like today would be the last day where it's like, here, bro, I still got extra chicken, right? Or extra turkey.

[Pat]

No, you can't eat meat. You can't eat meat this late.

[Myron Jewell]

But if they ask, yeah, I'm glad Barney's only. I mean the thing, if they ask for the food, then what you say? Like, I'm not going to tell you. If you come to my house tomorrow and say, yeah, oh, this still Thanksgiving. I'm going to make a plate. I'm not going to stop you. Eat it, get it out. I'm not going to call you and say, come get it.

[Pat]

Oh, man. He said. He said, come get it.

[Myron Jewell]

You gotta call me. Oh, God. See, See, but listen. See, But I didn't see, But I didn't. I didn't say. I didn't say a he. I said, because I can be talking about a woman.

[Pat]

Was mine a he?

[Mike]

I don't know what.

[Myron Jewell]

Yours is crazy, girl.

[Mike]

You said there's no time limit for me.

[Myron Jewell]

Yeah, you said there's no time limit.

[Mike]

Yours is crazy.

[Pat]

You ain't never seen a big clip before.

[Myron Jewell]

You said there's no time. There's no time limit to eat the meat. That's the crazy part.

[Pat]

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[Myron Jewell]

Days.

[Pat]

Milwaukee. Luther.

[Myron Jewell]

Right?

[Pat]

Yeah. Let's say you got a backpack on. Do you wear a backpack to.

[Myron Jewell]

School?

[Pat]

Yes. And it's always full of books. You got. Do you got kids in your school? He said, sort of like, what's in there? We got a situation here. Sort of like.

[Myron Jewell]

What? That's.

[Pat]

A. What's in his backpack? There's something in there, right? I reported you.

[Myron Jewell]

Man. Hey, Like a.

[Pat]

Demon. Now I'm saying, do you have dudes that walked around your school with one folder? Like, that's all they got? Where they at right.

[Mike]

Now? There was those dudes that had no book back in school.

[Pat]

Bro. Man, I used to be in class, bro. This dude asked me for a pencil every day. I said, God, tell him.

[Myron Jewell]

Hey. So that's crazy, because going back, I was one of them dudes, man. I put everything in my locker. I just like carrying books, man. I sit by somebody else and use their book. I was just walking, man, Nothing in my.

[Pat]

Hand. That used to be me. Sometimes, like, in middle school, people used to hate to see me coming. They'd be like, man, this about to ask for something. I used to sit right by. I'd be like, yeah, they not even on the page and shit. Hey, go back to 36 for me real.

[Myron Jewell]

Quick. You know what I'm.

[Pat]

Saying? Stopping somebody else from doing their.

[Mike]

Work, breathing down your neck.

[Myron Jewell]

And. But the thing is, you was asking that person that, you know, wasn't gonna say nothing back. Like, I used to ask some nice kids, I knew they probably was tired of you, but they would never tell you. Yeah, they get home and complain about you, like. But I'm like, they would never tell.

[Pat]

Me. That's the one. You let them come sit with you at the lunch table? No, that's my.

[Myron Jewell]

Guy. All your boys looking at like, who this nerdy ass? No, this my guy, man. Can I ask y' all a question? I want to know if I was. If I was just different. So you've been suspended from school.

[Mike]

Before?

[Myron Jewell]

Yeah. Every time you got suspended? This is a high.

[Pat]

School?

[Myron Jewell]

Yep. Did you always tell your parents or did you ever. Have you ever hid it from them or. They always knew when you got.

[Pat]

Suspended? My dad was the basketball coach and football coach. Oh.

[Myron Jewell]

Yeah. So you done? What about you.

[Mike]

Cook? Not. No, my parents didn't know.

[Myron Jewell]

So. Okay. So my question for saying that, my reason for asking is because I used to get suspended from school and I would still. I wouldn't tell my grandma or my dad. Cause I knew I would get in trouble. I would still go to school and I would skip all day in the building, bro. Like, where were you hiding, bro? Like, different. So it's like when I went to John Marshall, I graduated from there, right. So it's like when you go in there, this is like around junior year, senior year, you just know all the little way, like you know all the gangways where they're not at, you know what I mean? Or you walk.

[Makai]

In.

[Myron Jewell]

Yeah. And then it's crazy. Cause you'll walk around when it's transitioning with the other students. We walking around having fun. It'd be like two of us suspended. So it was three of us total. And we just walking. But then when that bell, you find that little gangway and then you just quiet. We really just sitting there quiet, sitting on stairs. And then if you hear the walkie talkies, we just knew to go the opposite way from the walkie talkies. And there was times I got caught before, you know what I'm saying? But it was rare that I got caught. But I think about it, now that I'm older, I'm like, dude, I really went to school and skipped in the building the entire. For eight hours. How long is.

[Mike]

School?

[Pat]

Eight. It's better being at home while you suspend it with a black parent. Might be the worst ever. I'd rather go to jail. Like they make your hard as hell. I was helping change my mama oil one time. I was like, bro, I never get kicked.

[Myron Jewell]

Out. That again. My pops ain't play about school. And I knew it. Like, that was one thing. He ain't play about school, man. Like, he don't matter if you sick nothing. He like, nah, you going to school. I'm like, man, I'm about to die. Like, I don't.

[Mike]

Care. They made us do in school suspension. I've never been suspended outside of school. I've gotten like in school.

[Myron Jewell]

Suspension. You went to some.

[Mike]

Suburbs? I went to school in the city. I just never did anything that. That.

[Myron Jewell]

Crazy. I a do.

[Mike]

Nothing. What you, what you get suspended for? Like, my worst thing was like I fought a kid that was in special ed. That was my.

[Pat]

Thing. What you mean crazy.

[Myron Jewell]

Man? What crazy? What if.

[Pat]

You. If you would have went to the right public school, that would have made the news, you'd have been in.

[Myron Jewell]

Cnn. He said you brought a special ed kid right before. You just said, I never did nothing. That Was.

[Pat]

Crazy. You knew he was special ed. Like when you went into the classroom. Defending myself, there was only five other in the.

[Myron Jewell]

Class. Like you should have done that to swing. He could have walked it.

[Pat]

In. Like why your class so small? You're taller too.

[Myron Jewell]

Though. But you literally could have held him down. But.

[Mike]

They. I was held. I did hold him.

[Myron Jewell]

Down. They be.

[Mike]

Strong. I did hold him down. What'd you get suspended for.

[Myron Jewell]

Though? My stuff was like being late, skipping. I never did nothing crazy. Probably talking back to a teacher. It was like, that's nothing crazy. But I guess that's nothing crazy. It's like talking back and I probably didn't got in trouble three times in a week and it finally turned into a suspension. But like simple stuff like.

[Mike]

That. It's an interesting concept I guess, like to get suspended from school. Like those are the people that don't want to be in school usually anyway. So it's like I'm telling you now you don't have to come to school.

[Myron Jewell]

Yeah. See now I'm just hard headed because I can't say that I didn't want to be in school because I didn't want to be home. Like the days I used to want to be at home and then when I stayed home, I used to be like, I could have been at school. Yeah, I always did.

[Pat]

That. Yeah. Cause the time go by, you be chilling. It's 3:30. Be like, nigga, I'll be out of.

[Mike]

School. Yeah, time go by so.

[Pat]

Quickly. No, the.

[Mike]

Worst. And then you miss a fucking school fight, you get.

[Myron Jewell]

Back. Oh my.

[Mike]

God. Or if you had a substitute.

[Pat]

They'D be like, tanisha finally be Janice.

[Myron Jewell]

Has. What.

[Pat]

The. We've been waiting on that since middle.

[Myron Jewell]

School. Like you ever skipped Because I don't know. Look, you can tell now you out of.

[Mike]

School. Oh.

[Pat]

Yeah. What's the secret you want to tell him? That's one. That's one of the segments of the show. So like what's a secret that you feel like you can tell him now and you feel like he can't do nothing to you? You're in college, bro. You make your own rules.

[Myron Jewell]

Bro. His mama gonna be like, yeah, right, go on.

[Pat]

Bro. Is it time you snuck out and he ain't.

[Myron Jewell]

Know? Don't hold.

[Pat]

Back. You can just say yes. Actually keep your innocent. Just say yes or no. You ain't got to go into details. It's a time you snuck out and he didn't.

[Myron Jewell]

Know.

[Pat]

Yes. Is it a time somebody been in his house and he didn't.

[Myron Jewell]

Know? Yes. Say, now listen to this. So listen, none of this surprised me because I was once him and we were all in the hate. So I always tell him I'd be like, a lot of stuff that you think you doing. Like, granted, you gonna catch some stuff, but you might not physically catch them, but it's like, bro, I used to be your age, bro. I did all of that. So I know when you being fidgety and when you lying, right? But I'll be like, okay, long as you ain't out here doing nothing crazy. So it's like, even the stuff that I kind of feel like I caught. Yeah. Something.

[Pat]

Crazy. I'm gonna tell you something. I ain't gonna put you in this position, but I'm gonna tell you something. That what y' all probably all went through, the worst thing is being around your parents when you 15, 16, and you got, like, a pregnancy scare currently going on, and you don't know how to function. For real. You ain't never had that.

[Mike]

Happen?

[Pat]

No. I thought I had a girl pregnant when I was 16. And, like, it just like everything my dad said to me, I feel like he do. He was like, I just feel like you doing something stupid as fuck right now. I need a passenger seat. Like, the nigga now he a granddad and shit. Look at that. He talking about college and shit. Like, them, they do not know. I'm not going nowhere. I'm here, join the.

[Myron Jewell]

Army. I had. I asked k. I was. I was out of school, though. I had just graduated, though. And it was a girl. It was a girl that we. Me and my friends, like, we all flipped her, right? So it was one of them. One of the fam days. I.

[Pat]

Know. I told you, we going to have to take it out, so you might as.

[Mike]

Well.

[Pat]

What? Flip, flip, flip flop. What flip.

[Myron Jewell]

Mean? Like, have fun, everybody. So I used the word different because I didn't want to say that. Yeah.

[Pat]

Okay. So that's why I. I thought it was something. No, no, but you good.

[Myron Jewell]

Though. I was like, damn. I didn't know if we could say the.

[Pat]

Other. No, no, that's a good word. That's a good.

[Myron Jewell]

One. Oh, so Brandon, you can say.

[Mike]

That? Yeah.

[Myron Jewell]

Yeah. Oh, I didn't know if I can say that. So when we was, you know, in high school and stuff, it was exams, everybody. It was a girl that everybody ran a train on, right? This girl and one of my friends, she ended up getting pregnant. And while we was all in high school, it was his baby to us. We like, oh, this Is his baby. Because that's when it came out. He never denied whatever he like, dang, you got the flipper pregnant, right? You know what I'm saying? So now that's like junior year, senior year, come I graduate, I'm out of high school, all that stuff. Actually, I was a little older. Cause I think he was a new baby. So I was. So he was a new baby. And I'm scared. I'm with his mom and everything, man. And I get some paper delivered to the crib, me and my pops, right? And it's a paper, and it says I had to go take a test, right? Now, the crazy part about this test is that it had three dudes already excluded. And my friend was one of the names excluded. So now my heart pounding, I'm like, I thought this was his baby all the time. Now I'm 22. Why is this coming back? I did this when I was like, 16. You know what I'm saying? So now I'm nervous. Cause I'm like, ah, how she finna feel about.

[Pat]

This? All.

[Myron Jewell]

That. Then one of my other friends. So now it was three other people that had to get tested. It was me, one of my other friends, and some random dude, dog. So we go take the test.

[Mike]

Man. Did y' all go.

[Myron Jewell]

Together? Yeah, me and my friend. This is my best friend. This is my best friend to this.

[Mike]

Day. How is it? Can you just explain the car ride over there? Was there much.

[Myron Jewell]

Talking? So, like, we both nervous, right? So we just drive, and I'm like. We both stand there like, man, that baby ain't mine. It ain't mine. But see the flipper, right? We talking like this, right? So now we go take the test, right? Then we go home, and we just kind of leave it where it's at. And then now it's time to go get the results. So, I don't know, we go together again, me and him. So you know you got certain traits. Like, I got long fingers, a big nose, like, you know what I'm saying? Like, certain features, right? He got a big old hole here. Like, my homie got a big head, right? So we come in. It's the lady, the girl since I ain't seen since high school. And the dude, like, six now, right? Walking around playing. I'm like. I'm looking at him, right? And you know I'm always playing. As soon as I look at him, I'm like. I told my mom, I said, oh, yeah? I said. I said, that yours, bro? I said, you gotta do that. He Said, he's talking about, bro. Now, I ain't trying to play. I said, look at his head. Look at his eggs. He had a big old head, right? I said, that's your. I said, he gotta be yours, right? My homie mad as hell, bro. He mad. He's my boy. Now, I ain't trying to play. I'm like, man, listen. I said, if he any one of ours, yours, right? But he like, bro, he ain't finding none of this funny, bro. But I'm feeling confident in everything. So we go in there, we take the test. I mean, not take the test. They give us the results. And it didn't end up being neither one of ours, bro. That was, like, the biggest relief. But the crazy thing is, he's so happy now, he walk out, he told the mom and them. He was like, yep, it ain't ours. Good luck. I'm finding the daddy. And then just walk out. I'm like, bro, you.

[Pat]

Offset. Nah, that's what he said. I always wonder what type of dude I would be on Maury, because it's like those dudes that, like, they chase a girl and, like, console her, like, it's gonna be okay. You gonna find her. Blah, blah. But nah, man, that crowd too electric. I gotta.

[Mike]

Entertain. I would Derek Rose it. Oh, let people get hype around me and then straight face.

[Pat]

It. Straight face it like.

[Myron Jewell]

That. You're getting hype. You get hype. You find out. Oh, Maury. Yeah, you find out. You ain't. You're going.

[Pat]

Crazy. No, I'm chasing.

[Myron Jewell]

Her. Are you chasing her? Oh, you.

[Pat]

Crazy. Yeah, yeah. I told y', all.

[Mike]

Right. Not pack. Grabbing the candle for the.

[Myron Jewell]

Camera. No, I got this, bro. It slows up. I would act crazy, too. I probably wouldn't tell you. I'll run through the crowds and show them, shirt off. Anything that a.

[Mike]

Legend. Everybody carry you through the.

[Myron Jewell]

Crowd. That's crazy. No, you stage down, they miss, Crowd don't even catch.

[Pat]

You. Oh.

[Myron Jewell]

God. Too.

[Pat]

Arrogant. I might swing on Mory too do something. Yeah, I. I don't like the way he be reading that. You are not the father. Like, man would do that whole.

[Myron Jewell]

Ass. You done dropped your head and everything, man. You are like, drop your head. Like, not to follow. Nigga, stop.

[Pat]

Playing. I'm not gonna lie. Like, having like that. That's always my biggest fear, though. Like, someone that I had sex with, and, like, maybe we didn't reconnect the last time we had sex. And then they popping up with a.

[Myron Jewell]

Kid. So. Do you ever. Do you Ever think this? This is something I think about too. Before everybody had girlfriends, we were all active, right? Do you ever think in the back of your head, like, what if I have a kid out here and you don't know and it's not your fault. You don't know. It's not. I told you and you ran from it. Like, ah, but like, she don't even know. Like, maybe she messed with you and this dude and that crossed my mind sometimes. So like when you walk around, you'd be like, this kid looked just like you and you be like, ran like, you know what I'm.

[Mike]

Saying? Nah, that'd be too scary. I don't think I was out there like that.

[Pat]

Though. That's what I'm.

[Myron Jewell]

Saying. Like. No, but I'm man, it could have been. It could just happen. You don't gotta be out.

[Mike]

There. I was strapped up.

[Pat]

Shawty. I ain't gonna.

[Myron Jewell]

Lie. So you never, ever, ever. But I had to.

[Mike]

Once. Not a girl, was not a relationship with. And. And I've been in long term.

[Pat]

Relationships.

[Myron Jewell]

Yeah. Oh, okay. So. Oh, man, he ain't real. Hey, he. He's one of one. Hey, genius. He's not perfect. I'm just saying. He said.

[Mike]

He. I just been in long term.

[Pat]

Relationships. Yeah, he weird. He said he not coming until he get.

[Myron Jewell]

Married.

[Mike]

What? I never said.

[Myron Jewell]

That. So you just playing dog Just to get to the point. Like, I'm like, he in there just doing pointless pumps. He just pointless pumping. Pointless.

[Mike]

Pumping. You walking, you walking.

[Myron Jewell]

Away? I can't do it. I can't. I can't do it. I can't.

[Pat]

See. Thought I will say that's an action that I guarantee you'll lose a girl over. Guarantee what? Like not. Not coming. Girls don't play that.

[Mike]

Shit. There's been times that's happened. That's.

[Myron Jewell]

Happened. I mean, if I was like. If I was intoxicated, I've done that. But not like just straight.

[Mike]

Up. No, there's been times that happened, especially being strapped up, shy. You don't you. You walk away with the.

[Pat]

Proof. That's what you doing, holding it out the.

[Myron Jewell]

Door. Everybody. No, they say that was not.

[Pat]

100%. You holding it up. You see it.

[Myron Jewell]

Leaking, but now I go get a vacuum. He gonna make.

[Pat]

Tony. Hey, no, real, real question, real important question. If you knew a girl was.

[Myron Jewell]

Pregnant.

[Pat]

Yeah, but the doctor said you got 30 seconds. You can.

[Myron Jewell]

Suck. You can't even answer.

[Mike]

That. I remember the kid because if.

[Myron Jewell]

It'S a chick, you don't want the baby by you thinking about it, but you. Like, I can't do it. But you might as well. It's over for you if you do.

[Pat]

That. No, I don't think you're gonna see is a dude behind you. Like, oh, yeah. They called me here to get by it up, too.

[Myron Jewell]

Why? I'm going first. Let him go first, dog. I'm not you doing that. You don't have a baby. My son doing what you doing? Like, hey, man, I just. I messed around the camera. What if he doing it wrong Home, though. Like, he ain't make me get to the doctor. I can do.

[Mike]

This. Somebody got the tissue to their face. And it's not that bad.

[Myron Jewell]

Bro. It's way worse than you did, girl. Girls will go to the bathroom. If you ever do that, if it's a girl that you was comfortable with. They go to the bathroom and try to, you know, pee and, you know, all that type of stuff. But that's funny that you said.

[Mike]

That, letting her go to the bathroom, that's so.

[Myron Jewell]

Extreme. That's.

[Pat]

So. What you.

[Myron Jewell]

J. What you doing? You just.

[Mike]

Go so.

[Myron Jewell]

Good over here crying, man. No, you get. Somebody said they gonna do. There's some people in the back of their head, they ain't gonna tell you. They might think like, man, you don't know what you're gonna do to.

[Pat]

You in that room, man, if.

[Myron Jewell]

You. If I'm in that room alone. And it's just me and Doc impressing. But no, who I'm trying to impress. Listen, you cheated. You got a wife, right? You got a wife. You done cheated this girl pregnant right now. You can slay. You're losing your family, bro. I was already running through.

[Mike]

It. Now Pat pulling out a straw. He said.

[Myron Jewell]

What? No.

[Pat]

You. You argue, your son end up being a gangster, and. And he in and out of jail, just like, man, I should have sucked that.

[Myron Jewell]

Nut, Paul. I should have sucked you when I had the chance. I should have sucked you when I had the chance. I should have sucked you. That.

[Pat]

Pause. I don't want arguing with Tanisha. I should have sucked that nut.

[Myron Jewell]

And left your ass up. Imagine walking past that closed door, man, and you hear that he gotta be talking to a dude. Oh, man. Oh, that's.

[Pat]

Crazy. Oh.

[Myron Jewell]

Man. So you just little. The family gone. Everything.

[Pat]

Gone. Everything.

[Myron Jewell]

Gone. Everything gone.

[Pat]

Man.

[Myron Jewell]

Yeah. Yo, yo, what's.

[Mike]

Good? W. What up? You from Haiti? Because usually when I hear people say, whoa, it be like, but Haitian.

[Myron Jewell]

People. No, no. That's Brower.

[Mike]

Lingo. Oh.

[Pat]

Okay. Oh, you from. From.

[Myron Jewell]

Florida. Florida. Yeah, from South Florida. You know, same thing, right? That's what I'm.

[Pat]

Saying. What are you just saying? Just say what you are so you get. So we get this conversation moving. That's what I'm saying. You wanted to say that the whole time. Like, come on, let's get it.

[Mike]

Popping. What's your biggest hot take, man.

[Myron Jewell]

Prostitution has become normalized, bro. Like, this is.

[Pat]

Crazy. So when the last time you paid for.

[Myron Jewell]

Some. It's crazy because I've.

[Pat]

Been. He met. The price is going up. Who the is paying for you? Facts. I've been your only customer the last two.

[Myron Jewell]

Years. 40. No, no, it's. But no, no speaking facts that the prices have gone up. But look, I'm serious now. I, you know, I give my life to Christ. I'm going into ministry. But, bro, like, bro, women is really making you pay for it. Just in general. That's prosecution your story. So are.

[Pat]

You. So is this your hot take? Because it's affecting you. Like, is it calling your name and you can't get away from it? That's what I'm feeling. Like this is.

[Myron Jewell]

Going. No. And yeah, it's affecting my community. I'm seeing some brothers around me. That's. That's getting lost to the pussy, man. Forgive me, God, but he lost you all over the place. Wait, who the fuck is.

[Mike]

That? I'm for.

[Pat]

Myron. Oh, my.

[Mike]

God. We got a guest on today. Our boy Myron. We got a guest on.

[Myron Jewell]

Today. Okay, okay. I heard a different voice. Hey.

[Pat]

Keenan. No, no, no, bro. What's like you say? You claim it like you've been using a lot of different language and vulgar language for somebody who's pursuing.

[Myron Jewell]

Ministry.

[Pat]

Like, are you far away from that.

[Myron Jewell]

Goal? Hey, hey. Just chilling. No, no, I'm a newcomer too. Like, Christ. Like, really giving my life to God, though. Reading my scripture, getting to.

[Pat]

It. So when the process started, do.

[Myron Jewell]

We go in the church, watching it on tv? It's two.

[Pat]

Differences. So when the last time you paid yourself? Man, just answer the.

[Myron Jewell]

Question. He got an Instagram pass. No, no, I ain't paid for it in a. In a.

[Mike]

While. What's a.

[Myron Jewell]

Wild. What's a while to you? Kind of depends. You said the price. Oh, yeah. Go ahead. Oh, so what's the lowest you paid and what's the highest you paid? Because you said the price is going up. So the lowest say free. You know what I'm saying? The highest, like.

[Pat]

400. Oh, he was deep in the game. He was so deep in the game, he had to go Pick up his girl with a suit and them little masquerade mask.

[Myron Jewell]

On. Here's the crazy thing. The time I paid 400 like I used to scam. So, like, I had just hit off a place, so, like, I was feeling.

[Pat]

Great. Yeah, that'll mean you get more expensive.

[Myron Jewell]

Prostitutes. So I'm like, what do y' all like? How long you keep her for? A week? Oh, that was just one, like, 30 minute session. Two minute session. What was that? No, no, no, it was like. It was like a good two hours. Like, we were just chilling, just talking. Like, you know, how they gonna. They gonna act it out, make sure they make it seem like they want conversations. The business want the money. But, I mean, that's the highest I pay. For.

[Pat]

Real. For real, bro, you are so far away for us, like, the money. Hey, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen. God was literally just in a room with you. He just walked up out of there. He said, he ain't.

[Myron Jewell]

Ready. He ain't.

[Pat]

Ready. He not.

[Myron Jewell]

Ready. He ain't ready yet. It gets crazy because now it sound bad, but, like, this is pretty much me telling the old story. Like, this was who I.

[Pat]

Was. Yeah.

[Mike]

Yeah. Do you think anything will ever bring you back into. Like, are you just. Are you dating.

[Myron Jewell]

Now? Nah, none. Yeah, I'm actually recording with someone right.

[Pat]

Now. Courting no boy, using different lingo already. But just said.

[Mike]

Earlier. So you haven't had to spend no.

[Myron Jewell]

Money? No. Whoa. What do you think this is? I'm just asking the question how they.

[Mike]

Own.

[Myron Jewell]

Yeah. All this time you gotta spend some money on the girl that you really like? Well, I mean, yeah, like. Like, bro, it just changes, though. Like, you know what I'm saying? You go on dates, you go out places, you know, like, look like gentlemen.

[Pat]

Things. Yeah, that's the.

[Myron Jewell]

Word. Like, I see.

[Pat]

Gentlemen. But listen, listen, I don't. I don't like the way you like defending yourself. Like, when Mike asked you the question, you act like it's like crazy out of left field. We're saying at no point in our lives will we ever spend 400. So you doing something that's crazy and you did it before, so shit like that, it just don't happen. It's in you.

[Mike]

Bruh.

[Pat]

Like, like, that's.

[Myron Jewell]

You. Everybody, that's biblical. Anybody that's biblical, know that Saul Paul was one.

[Pat]

Song. No, I hate people that hide behind Bible coats. I like prostitutes before.

[Myron Jewell]

17.

[Pat]

Genesis.

[Myron Jewell]

Man. Dog is. But, no, no, I came from a bad past. But see, the thing is, I'm saving Now, man, I got my money up, you know what I'm.

[Mike]

Saying? You're not scamming no.

[Myron Jewell]

More. I'm not scamming no more. I work a 9 to 5. That's how I found the part. I be at work listening to the.

[Pat]

Pod. Hey, man, that's. What's the.

[Myron Jewell]

Message. I'm a Patreon member and I'm not broke. You know what I'm.

[Pat]

Saying? Yeah, Philly, feel it. What's up? What's the message you got for people that's trying to get out of that dark space like you was.

[Myron Jewell]

At? Man, I ain't gonna lie. Just get life to die, man. Open that Bible and read that.

[Mike]

Scripture. You just sound goofy.

[Myron Jewell]

As. I'm a goofy person. No, no, I do mean it.

[Mike]

Like.

[Myron Jewell]

God, don't try me down, but God's trying me down right.

[Pat]

Now. No, no, that's crazy. Oh, don't. Don't tell crazy though.

[Myron Jewell]

Until. Hey now, work to the wise. Whoever. Whoever need this right now, they go, it go. It's gonna touch.

[Pat]

This. Hopefully you motivating somebody. Hopefully. Y' all hear that out there. If you playing $400 for somebody to have sex and spend time with.

[Myron Jewell]

You. He one of them. Lie on God to God. I ain't going lie. I done definitely said you was lying. He lying on God too. God. Oh, God, I don't buy no more, man. God can strike you down right now. But did you know he ain't been.

[Pat]

Doing. Did you hear what he.

[Myron Jewell]

Said? I'd be like, oh, God, I didn't cheat on you, bro. I put it on God. You can strike me down right now if I lie. I lied. No, he.

[Pat]

Said. He literally said, God, you can strike me down right now. Don't strike me down. God don't strike me.

[Myron Jewell]

Down. You gotta be mindful. God is very.

[Pat]

Humorous. Yeah, man, he tweaked the.

[Myron Jewell]

Guy.

[Pat]

Humorous. Hey, the thing about you is. The thing about you is you're not going directly to hell. They at least go let you walk up the stairs before they see how they died.

[Myron Jewell]

Bro. Oh, my God. That's.

[Pat]

Crazy. Are not at the.

[Myron Jewell]

Game. Hey, they let crows loose on.

[Pat]

Him. They let the crows head. Well.

[Myron Jewell]

Nobody.

[Pat]

This. This a late decision by God.

[Myron Jewell]

You know, about to speed that over my life.

[Mike]

Man. Glad you're walking a. A better path.

[Myron Jewell]

Brother. Yes, sir, man. I hope to see it for y'. All. Any of the listeners. If you broke, man, I'm sorry to hear it.

[Pat]

Bro. I shut your horny.

[Myron Jewell]

Ass people to get on my dog. Oh, Man. Yo, what's up.

[Mike]

Yo? Welcome to Crashing Me's.

[Myron Jewell]

Podcast. Appreciate.

[Makai]

It. Appreciate.

[Myron Jewell]

It. How you doing, Mike? How you doing.

[Mike]

Pat? Pretty good. Pretty good. We got a friend Myron and Mac here.

[Myron Jewell]

Too. Oh, what's up.

[Mike]

Y'?

[Myron Jewell]

All? What's up? What's up? So, all.

[Pat]

Right. They said you. I know you.

[Mike]

Like. What's your.

[Pat]

Question? Oh, okay. I got a question for you.

[Myron Jewell]

Bro. Yo, what's.

[Pat]

Up? What's that airplane in the.

[Myron Jewell]

Back? Oh, no, I just left.

[Pat]

The. I don't care.

[Myron Jewell]

Bro. All.

[Pat]

Right. What's something you want? What's something you want to tell your.

[Myron Jewell]

Parents? Damn. So this happened two, three years ago. My brother had us. Had a problem where he just pulled out a pants and starts on the floor. There's one day specifically, I'm lactose.

[Makai]

Intolerant. I ate so much cheese, I had.

[Myron Jewell]

To. Everyone had to. Everyone had the rest show. So I just put on. Pull down my pants and took the shirt on the hallway and blamed on my little.

[Mike]

Brother. How old were you when you.

[Myron Jewell]

Did. How long was this? Like, three years ago, so I was like, 18 or.

[Pat]

Something. 18.

[Myron Jewell]

Years. This is definitely. This is definitely a Caucasian guy. That is some Caucasian. No, it's like, man, it wasn't even that big, too. It was like a little square. My struggle got bad for that little piece. You w. No, I'm not a Caucasian. No. Hell.

[Pat]

No. He's on his way. Yeah. You sound Hispanic.

[Myron Jewell]

Yeah. Who taught you that? A white person, definitely. It's just like, I had to use it, and they're.

[Makai]

Like. It's either.

[Myron Jewell]

I. My pants, and I wasn't gonna ruin, like, what. What? 200 pair of pants and. Or just push it on the floor and ruin it. Ruin it or just ruin it for mother Brother's day. After that day, I bought him a game, got him snacks and.

[Pat]

Everything. But it's not about. It's not about apologizing to your brother. It's like looking deep within and seeing what the Is wrong with you that you can't make it to the.

[Myron Jewell]

Bathroom. I'm just gonna say that. Why you wipe your ass? The restrooms are full. The restrooms were full. I did. I had, like, dude watching my.

[Pat]

Room. I don't think anybody's ever, ever shitted on the floor and then wiped their ass immediately after. The two don't even go together.

[Mike]

So. Are you trying to make us believe that. That you. You took a. And then you wiped, right? Right when you took.

[Myron Jewell]

Your.

[Mike]

Dude?

[Myron Jewell]

Yeah. I mean, yeah. Don't y' all feel Dirty if you don't wipe. Okay, Yeah, I feel dirty for on the.

[Pat]

Floor. That's what I'm.

[Mike]

Saying. You walked around.

[Myron Jewell]

Shitty. Okay.

[Mike]

Regardless. That's what we try to get.

[Myron Jewell]

At. I'm a villain, not a monster, man. You.

[Pat]

Know? Okay.

[Myron Jewell]

Good. Same words like that. I rather, you know, like. I would rather.

[Pat]

Like. Last question, last question. Last. We don't care. We don't care. All right, last question. So last question for you is. Is this the first time this happened? Just answer yes or.

[Myron Jewell]

No. Oh, yeah. That was the first time. Last.

[Pat]

Time. I don't believe you. I believe it's got to be a trend that's gonna keep happening like.

[Myron Jewell]

It'S a tick tock train. You.

[Pat]

Ate. You ate so much cheese. All it take is you eating a lot of cheese for you to on yourself. You told me this hasn't.

[Myron Jewell]

Happened. Who was it? I don't know. What was it that my sister made a great. He was goat cheese, whatever cheese. Cheddar cheese. I don't even know what the he did. I ate that because I was hungry. And then I just heard the magical worries of my screaming. Yeah, going, man, how you feeling? All right. Mike. Mike, I have a question for you.

[Mike]

Man. What.

[Myron Jewell]

Up? So, hey, man, so I'm trying to lose weight. What's the best way you can do.

[Pat]

Man? Oh, we don't care, bro. We're not.

[Myron Jewell]

Doing. I said appreciate it.

[Pat]

Chunky. Stay fat.

[Mike]

Bro. I'll DM you.

[Pat]

Bro. And we get at you next week, man. Just keep eating for now.

[Myron Jewell]

Man. You said freeze, so he. Oh, yeah, that was nasty. Would you on the.

[Pat]

Floor. He answering that motherfucker. Yo, yo, yo, yo. Let's thank today's sponsor of the podcast in the Cloud. You promised to keep it chill this year, right? Then you got to sign mashed potatoes and emotional labor. A good thing. Calm comes can.

[Mike]

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[Mike]

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[Pat]

Podcast. Yo, let's take a quick break to thank today's sponsor of the podcast.

[Mike]

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[Mike]

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[Mike]

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[Pat]

You. Tell them right.

[Mike]

Now. Now back to the.

[Pat]

Pod. Said.

[Myron Jewell]

No. Hey, give me just a.

[Pat]

Minute. I'm in a buc ees right.

[Myron Jewell]

Now. Y' all know what a bues.

[Pat]

Is? No, bro, don't talk to. Just get outside.

[Myron Jewell]

Bro. One.

[Pat]

More. No small talk. Run faster, bro. All right, all.

[Myron Jewell]

Right. I'm out. What's up?

[Mike]

Y. What's duckies.

[Myron Jewell]

Though? What was.

[Mike]

That? What's a buc EE's guessing like a burger.

[Pat]

Spot. It's.

[Myron Jewell]

A. It's a gas.

[Pat]

Station. Oh, that's not Bucky's. That's Boosies Boces. Oh, it is.

[Myron Jewell]

Boost. You're.

[Pat]

Right. You're right. That's.

[Myron Jewell]

Boces. You forgot about.

[Pat]

That. Ain't no buckies. That's three.

[Mike]

Boces. All right, what's your biggest hot.

[Pat]

Take? There's too many witches in my.

[Myron Jewell]

Area. Well, witches.

[Pat]

Like. Like warlocks, like a.

[Mike]

Cult.

[Myron Jewell]

Explain. All right, so I go to UNC in Denton, Texas, and there's just a lot of.

[Pat]

Witches. And, I mean, it's a joke.

[Myron Jewell]

In my friend group, but it's gotten to a point there's, like, subpar witches.

[Pat]

But then there's some ones that can.

[Myron Jewell]

Really do some damage to.

[Pat]

You. Explain. Witches for. We're so lost. Right. I don't know if you speak in some type of slang or you actually believe witches.

[Myron Jewell]

And. No.

[Pat]

Like. Like. Like wizards. Waverly Place, like, put a hex on you. Okay. And have you seen evidence of this? Is that what you.

[Myron Jewell]

Said? Yeah, it happened to me. All right, soon. So my friend was like, hey, have you ever had, like, a succubus sent to.

[Pat]

You? And I was like.

[Myron Jewell]

No. And then he filled me in.

[Pat]

What a succubus is, which is just, like, a. A sex demon. And he was like, oh, I got a girl that can, like, hook you up with.

[Myron Jewell]

Succubus. And I was like, okay, fine.

[Pat]

Sure. A couple weeks go by, nothing happens. I have to, like, wear a protective ring. I just end up giving up on it because I was like, oh, that's just.

[Myron Jewell]

Fake. But then one night, I had a dream, and the Succubus was in.

[Mike]

It.

[Pat]

What? What did the succubus.

[Myron Jewell]

Do? Did she suck you? So it was like I was in a bathtub. Like, I was in a.

[Pat]

Bathtub. Like, a really warm bathtub. And this, like, red demon girl.

[Myron Jewell]

Started. She sat on it. I don't know. She sat on.

[Mike]

It. So this whole, like, hex thing was meant to bring you, like, sex in your dreams, not in real.

[Pat]

Life? Well, I didn't know what I was getting into.

[Myron Jewell]

Honestly. But ever since then, my life's been terrible.

[Mike]

Bro. What happened to your.

[Myron Jewell]

Life? Nah, it's not been terrible, but, like, my money's.

[Pat]

Down. Like, I don't know. Who's that last in the.

[Myron Jewell]

Background, bro? It's the guy that sent me the succubus. I swear to.

[Pat]

God. Put. Put him on the phone. Put him on the.

[Myron Jewell]

Phone. That's why he. What's.

[Pat]

Good?

[Myron Jewell]

Hey.

[Pat]

Hey. Getting your guy sucked off in his dream is crazy.

[Mike]

Though. He gave him a wet dream.

[Pat]

He gave a wet drink. Yeah, bro, you probably said. You probably snuck in his room when he was.

[Myron Jewell]

Sleep. I'M just sucking you, man. With that guy. He said no. He laughed. Got.

[Pat]

Me. That's why your boy think it's fake. He kept waking up like, listen. Keep waking up. Yeah, but that's just like, one instance. Like, there's a lot of subpar.

[Mike]

Witches. Like.

[Pat]

They. They try to get into, like, the.

[Myron Jewell]

Occult. They're usually like, psych.

[Mike]

Majors.

[Myron Jewell]

Yeah. Watch out, guys. I don't.

[Pat]

Know. Don't go to then.

[Myron Jewell]

Texas. I'm not going.

[Pat]

To. The thing about it is, like, I don't believe you, but I also believe you enough not to come there. You know what I'm.

[Myron Jewell]

Saying? I always like to prove.

[Pat]

It. No, man, don't say.

[Myron Jewell]

No. Sexy.

[Mike]

Devils. Sexy.

[Pat]

Dylan. You go through. Go through his closet. You see a red bodysuit.

[Myron Jewell]

Ass. Well, I've done that. If they send one of mine and it got some big.

[Pat]

Titties. Yeah, man.

[Mike]

I'm. I'm.

[Myron Jewell]

Glad. I'm glad you. Y' all allowed me a platform to get this off my.

[Pat]

Chest. Really been bothering me. Hey, man, stop suck you bissing your friends.

[Mike]

Man. They into Mr. Krabs and, like.

[Myron Jewell]

What? That's.

[Mike]

Funny. Somebody's ready. Check his hard.

[Myron Jewell]

Drives. Like, oh, this is.

[Pat]

Funny. No, check his hard drives. For real. Yo, what's the deal? That much, man.

[Myron Jewell]

Stressing. Oh, man.

[Pat]

Depressed. Do you want us to be good friends and ask what you're stressing about, or should we continue with the.

[Myron Jewell]

Question? Hell no. I'm grown as hell. It's.

[Pat]

Fine. Okay. What you stressing.

[Myron Jewell]

About? My parents.

[Pat]

Man. Oh, okay. Okay. I got a question for you. Got.

[Myron Jewell]

You. All.

[Pat]

Right. What's something you want to tell your.

[Myron Jewell]

Parents? Stop calling me. When it's only about money. These niggas do not respond to. Not a text, not a call about nothing else. Never want to call about no holiday, never want to call about no birthday. Nothing. Unless it's the bill, unless it's rent, unless it's a.

[Pat]

Phone. These inconsiderate as hell that, like.

[Myron Jewell]

They'Ll fake a whole conversation, like, to.

[Pat]

Eventually lead up to ask you.

[Myron Jewell]

Something. Like asking me how my, like, two X's ago was, and then ask me for 350. How that makes.

[Pat]

Sense. 350. They trying to.

[Myron Jewell]

Drain. You better start.

[Pat]

Screening, Pops trying to suck. You drive.

[Myron Jewell]

Bro. You good, Pops. Bro, you funny. You could have said the mama. He said pops. Well, you letting them do.

[Pat]

It. Yeah, that.

[Myron Jewell]

One. I ain't letting nobody do nothing. What in the world? You just said it there. No.

[Mike]

Just. So what. What do you reach? What do you reach? Out to them.

[Myron Jewell]

About. Honestly, just to check up on, like, my siblings and stuff like that. Making sure they're good. Like, I'm like, the oldest, so, like. Yeah, I'm already kind of already supporting.

[Mike]

Them.

[Myron Jewell]

Yeah. But, like, the only time they.

[Pat]

Reaching out to me is just to ask for more support. Do they give you support back in any other.

[Mike]

Way? No, I'm talking about, like, growing.

[Pat]

Up. I.

[Myron Jewell]

Know. Growing up. You talk about some from, like, 10 years ago when they were supposed.

[Mike]

To. We don't.

[Pat]

Count. They're not supposed.

[Myron Jewell]

To. They supposed.

[Pat]

To. You're supposed to want to help out.

[Myron Jewell]

Your. I don't.

[Makai]

Gotta. How am I supposed.

[Myron Jewell]

To. What are you supposed to. I'm supposed to pay my parents.

[Pat]

Rent at 8 years old. Listen, bro. Listen, listen. It say, honor thy mother and father, bro. They. They got you to where you at. They put you. They could have. They could.

[Myron Jewell]

Have. Which I am already giving back.

[Pat]

Currently. But you crying on a.

[Myron Jewell]

Podcast. All right. You're the same. Talk about a man draining another.

[Pat]

Man on any podcast, man, if pop was draining, man, he trades. You ain't that good. Pops got a bit of roof.

[Myron Jewell]

And I need it all.

[Pat]

My. Well, I'm just. What you. What you want me to do.

[Myron Jewell]

Bro? Hey, that's crazy. That's crazy to not want to help your parents. That took care of you, bro. So it's like, hey, I'm your worst.

[Mike]

Nightmare. It's just funny. No matter who's occupied, it could be anybody. Everybody's always like.

[Myron Jewell]

No. They're gonna say. Cause they don't.

[Pat]

Know.

[Myron Jewell]

Yeah. You're like, I'm somebody. Hey, man, I'm somebody that helped my parents out. How old are you? That's. I want to know. How old are you, man? How old am I? I'm 25. That's why he think like that, man. Yeah, he just left the nest. He probably just moved out last year. They trying to get all that.

[Pat]

Back pay, but that's what I'm saying. No, no, we move out since I was 18. Yeah.

[Mike]

That'S. You play. He played sports growing.

[Myron Jewell]

Up. No, no, I didn't. Oh, man, you're.

[Pat]

Not. You're not really trying to help the families for real. You bullshitting.

[Myron Jewell]

Now? Where you work at, though? That's all I want to know. Where you work. Where I work. I work at a small solar.

[Pat]

Company. Okay.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Pat]

Okay. Getting that.

[Mike]

Paid. Okay. You sell.

[Myron Jewell]

Solar. Most of that money is already going there. Yeah, yeah, I.

[Mike]

Do. They be. I know. They be the door to door Sales be kicking your ass.

[Myron Jewell]

Huh? I'm the only black person at the company that they got knocking door.

[Pat]

To door to do that. Sheesh. That's.

[Myron Jewell]

Eight. Like, he can handle whatever come his.

[Pat]

Way. Hey, man. Honor thy mother, honor thy father.

[Mike]

Bro. But he just wants the connection.

[Pat]

Though. He was saying ain't no connection and over with the thing. No, no, no, no. We get people that call in this podcast and they tell you they problem. They'd be like, this is my problem. My parents won't do this. They've been doing this for six years, and then they still think about it. So you in the same bubble as them because you keep letting it affect you. They don't fuck with you like that. Give up that money, little.

[Myron Jewell]

Nigga. That's what it is.

[Pat]

Man. It is what it is, man. Either leave a mess and say, fuck the family, or continue to help, knowing Pops don't really fuck with you. You just want to suck your.

[Myron Jewell]

Dry. Suck your dry, Dog. Funny thing he said, I said, he said, nigga, who are.

[Pat]

You? Nigga was so frustrated. That nigga was getting frustrated as hell on the.

[Myron Jewell]

Car. That's.

[Pat]

Funny. No, we can't. He can't come up here dissing his parents.

[Myron Jewell]

Though. He definitely got on like, man, he ain't trying to get him.

[Pat]

Nothing. My bro Pops call. That nigga talking about football. He know it's coming. See the game.

[Makai]

Song. Yo, what's.

[Mike]

Up? What up? What.

[Myron Jewell]

Up? Damn. What? No, no, no, no, no. Don't do.

[Pat]

That. Huh? Oh.

[Makai]

Yeah. I was just watching Y' all on YouTube, and.

[Mike]

You. No, you're not.

[Myron Jewell]

Loud. There you.

[Pat]

Go. She took it down.

[Makai]

Now.

[Pat]

No. Appreciate.

[Makai]

It. Okay, I'll take it. I'll take it.

[Mike]

Down. I got a question for you. What's your biggest hot.

[Myron Jewell]

Take? Hold on.

[Pat]

Leia. That shit freaky.

[Makai]

Man. That was kind of freaky. My bad. My hot take is men, Specifically men who are super homophobic are.

[Pat]

Gay. Okay, I agree with that. Yeah, yeah.

[Makai]

Yeah. People be acting like I'm crazy, but that's like, why do you care so much that somebody decides to sleep with another.

[Pat]

Man? You know why that they care so.

[Makai]

Much?

[Pat]

Why? It'd be making it hard, and they mad about it. Like, why the fuck is them two dudes kissing each.

[Myron Jewell]

Other? That shit weird, man. Bro, that is insane now, bro. With the world we live in today, is there. So it's like, if you see it, just. If you don't like what you see, just move around. I'm not gonna stand there and watch. I'm gonna move. But I'm not gonna sit there and get mad like, God damn, man. But I just seen people do that. I'm like, bro, then my uncle.

[Pat]

Called me when lil Nas X got popular and he was mad as hell. And we're just like, you seeing a two minute mark what he did. I said two.

[Myron Jewell]

Minutes. He marked it. He marked it down. You was two minutes into the.

[Pat]

Video. Yeah, man, I know, man. I know what you are.

[Mike]

Bro. Do you have any real examples.

[Makai]

Too? I live in Charlotte and we just had a scandal with this rapper, like a local.

[Pat]

Rapper. Oh, please don't say. Don't say his name on this podcast.

[Makai]

Please. I'm not gonna say his name on this podcast. Cause he. But it came out he was dealing with this trans woman and he was on Instagram Live. Like, I don't be dealing with no, you know, f words that rhyme with Maggie. He was like, I'll be dealing with none of them. And this man very much be dealing with trans people. Like, I know firsthand somebody he was messing with like a couple years ago, but he felt so passionately on his live to say.

[Mike]

That. Yeah, I don't like forcing people out the closet. I don't like when people try to force people out the closet, like, to reveal something they might be doing on the low, but if you are against it that hard and like, loud doing it. If you're doing it and then.

[Pat]

You. Yes, we about to drag you about that closet ass out.

[Makai]

Here. Who we don't have on the pod.

[Myron Jewell]

Today? Makai, man. Myron and Makai cheating as my cheat.

[Makai]

Huh? Which I. Which I.

[Myron Jewell]

Do. My name Myron. Myron Jewel on social media. You gonna know.

[Makai]

Me. Oh, you like.

[Myron Jewell]

Her?

[Makai]

Yeah. Okay, I'll look you.

[Myron Jewell]

Up. Yeah, be cocky. Like, you're gonna know me when you see me. Look me up on Tick Tock and Instagram, man. You're gonna be like, I see.

[Makai]

Him. You said Myron.

[Pat]

Blues. Oh, God.

[Myron Jewell]

Damn. Looking up now like, nope, never heard of them. Like, what's. No, Never heard of.

[Pat]

Them. Give it a good chance. What if you did that on ig? I did that on IG before. I was like, yeah, something something Crash Dummies. And they look it up like, nope, never heard of you.

[Myron Jewell]

Before. I was like, just be like this. Just look at it and be like, oh, yeah, I'm gonna check y' all out.

[Makai]

Later. No, yeah, that's what I was gonna say. I was gonna be like, I'm about to. As soon as I hang up, I'm gonna look you.

[Myron Jewell]

Up. Yeah, that's.

[Pat]

It.

[Mike]

Yeah. Might change our life, too. Just letting you know. And he let me borrow his. His.

[Myron Jewell]

Lambo. Yeah, man. Okay.

[Pat]

Period. He didn't trip when almost crashed a Ferrari. He said, shit. Real play as fuck up.

[Myron Jewell]

Y'.

[Makai]

All. Y' all.

[Pat]

Bullshitting. No, no, you.

[Myron Jewell]

Bullshitting. Got a Ferrari voice or something. God damn. What my voice sound like I drive? Maybe I'm saying off my voice. What kind of car I sound like I.

[Makai]

Drive. It sound like you from, like, the west coast, so I don't know. I really don't.

[Pat]

Know. She don't know. She don't know a West coast.

[Makai]

Car. I'm from the South. I'll say. Charlotte, born and.

[Pat]

Raised. Okay. Was that.

[Myron Jewell]

Charlotte? I didn't been to.

[Pat]

Charlotte. They say Charlotte, not the South. But I heard somebody say that.

[Myron Jewell]

Because it ain't far from.

[Pat]

Atlanta.

[Mike]

Country. It's the.

[Makai]

South. To me, country beats the.

[Pat]

South. Because, you know, I grew up a little bit in Charlotte, too.

[Makai]

So. Yeah. This dude I used to talk to said y' all went to school.

[Pat]

Together. Hey, what's his.

[Myron Jewell]

Name? He back. Hey. He told her. She didn't try to holl at.

[Makai]

Him. He listened to the pod. But his.

[Pat]

Name. Oh, yeah, that's my dog. That's my dog, Trey. That's my. Oh, that's what he said. Oh, y' all must say work out. Cause you saying his name. His name. You remember his.

[Myron Jewell]

Name? He said that's what he.

[Makai]

Said. No, wait, though. He be on my line real heavy.

[Myron Jewell]

Still. Come.

[Pat]

On. No, you. I'm snitching on.

[Makai]

You. Listen, I know he.

[Myron Jewell]

Here.

[Makai]

Nothing.

[Mike]

Shoot. He know what it.

[Myron Jewell]

Is. She still like.

[Makai]

Him. I mean, we be. You know, I like you from.

[Pat]

Time to time, but, man, I gotta text him and ask him do he want this on the pod or not? Cause you sounding real side piecey right now, so I.

[Makai]

Gotta. But he also be in my phone blowing me up.

[Myron Jewell]

Either. What. What time do it be, though? If it's late, it'd be late. Or.

[Mike]

Early.

[Makai]

What? It'd be.

[Pat]

Anytime. Okay, let me send this to this. Do you want her on the pod? She said y' all be.

[Makai]

Hunching. You could just bleep out his name. He's a whore. He probably hunches. I know he hunches on a lot of.

[Myron Jewell]

You. Don't.

[Pat]

Care. Let's just bleep.

[Myron Jewell]

Out. Can you.

[Pat]

Remember? You gotta just bleep out his name. Okay, perfect. No.

[Makai]

You.

[Myron Jewell]

Yeah. She said he's a. They hunt from time to.

[Pat]

Time. He is a. Chill, chill, chill, chill.

[Makai]

Chill. I just told you.

[Pat]

This. Yeah, he's a whore.

[Makai]

Though. He knows he's a.

[Pat]

Whore. He won. You lost. Yo, what's the.

[Myron Jewell]

Deal? Are you sure you can hear.

[Pat]

Me? Yeah, we can hear.

[Myron Jewell]

You. All right. What's going.

[Mike]

On? We got. Oh, no, it's you, but we got a question for you. What's something you want to tell your.

[Myron Jewell]

Parents? My parents? I want to let them know that I can't wait for the insurance money. Yeah, you going to Hell, I don't, bro. It's real.

[Mike]

Bro. That'll make it any.

[Myron Jewell]

Better? You know when you say that.

[Pat]

Right? But how old are.

[Myron Jewell]

They? 2 and.

[Pat]

48. Don't you think that you got a long time to go to be waiting on insurance.

[Myron Jewell]

Money? Possibly, yeah. So that mean he ain't doing nothing with his life. He just waiting on insurance money, Man, I.

[Makai]

Just. Who is.

[Myron Jewell]

That? Who is.

[Pat]

That? Oh, man. Oh, hold on. Let me fix my shirt, because we about to be at the beginning of a Netflix documentary I look good.

[Myron Jewell]

On. Who is that.

[Pat]

Though? Oh, that's my friend Myron. You know what I'm saying? Follow him on.

[Myron Jewell]

Ig. Watch your mouth, boy. You think you can find me a teleport into the room? Oh, what? Wait.

[Pat]

What?

[Myron Jewell]

I'm. I'm trying tough.

[Pat]

Bro. You.

[Myron Jewell]

Love. I said I love tough, bro. Act tough. You know this. This said I'm acting tough. He got aggressive. What did I say?

[Pat]

Aggressive. What he.

[Myron Jewell]

Saying? Mad because he don't know me. I'm sad they was there, bro. Like, why you dick pulling, bro? I a know he. What the is he talking.

[Pat]

About? Wait, what is he talking about? He never said.

[Myron Jewell]

Nothing. What did I say? What did I say? Bad brother. This maker said I don't got nothing going on with my life. Oh, yeah, I did say that. I did say.

[Pat]

That. I forgot she said it to.

[Myron Jewell]

Us. He said he waiting on his mom and dad. Insurance. He's waiting on them to.

[Mike]

Croak. They're.

[Myron Jewell]

50. They 48 and 50. And you waiting on them to croak so you get some.

[Mike]

Money. That shit don't sound lame to.

[Myron Jewell]

You? But listen, can I explain.

[Pat]

Firing? Yeah, you got it.

[Myron Jewell]

Bro. All right, listen, bro, I don't tried this truck driving. I don't try to be a welder, bro. I tried car sales, and I even sold a little dope, bro. None of that working, bro. You an opportunist. Hey, you just a physical person, bro. Listen, I'm trying to be real with you. You, bro, I ain't even being tough. Listen to my Voice. It ain't nothing tough about my voice, man. It's high pitched and it's real squeaky. I'm telling you, you're not a. I want to listen to brother. You. You don't even know you talking to listen to. I don't give a listen, man. You. You got to do better. You waiting on your. You waiting on your mom and dad to croak so you can get some money, bro, instead of.

[Mike]

Working. I tried.

[Myron Jewell]

To. That's not what I said. I said that to be.

[Pat]

Nice. I tried truck driving.

[Myron Jewell]

Man. I tried selling D. You was a bad weed, man. You ain't. Why you lying about what you was.

[Pat]

Doing? Hop off my dick before I.

[Myron Jewell]

Buzz. No, tell me what I hear, bro. Like, you don't all you want to people you don't like. He don't like criticism. You don't want to buy telling by themselves. I didn't call to argue with a named Myra. We didn't argue. I didn't call. I didn't want to answer the phone for the waiting on the.

[Pat]

People. Yeah, that is.

[Myron Jewell]

True. Going to hell. I'll be at your hell funeral. We're gonna let crows lose at your. I feel you. I see.

[Pat]

You. Oh, my.

[Myron Jewell]

God. Why was he so heated? Because he didn't know me. Some people be like that. They'll thought you like who fucking.

[Mike]

Dude said something to.

[Myron Jewell]

Me. I don't.

[Pat]

Know. Nigga told me the truth. What's the deal.

[Myron Jewell]

Bro? Yo, all man, I'm just heading to the simulators right now.

[Pat]

Bro. To the.

[Myron Jewell]

What? Golf.

[Pat]

Simulators. Oh, okay. He says simulators. Like we.

[Mike]

Go. What's. What's.

[Myron Jewell]

Your. Oh, I forgot. I forgot. You guys don't.

[Pat]

Call. Nah, that. That sounded racist. I don't know what about.

[Myron Jewell]

It. No, no, no, no.

[Pat]

No. You. What are you.

[Mike]

White? Come on.

[Myron Jewell]

Now. Oh, bro, I'm.

[Pat]

Native.

[Mike]

Okay. All right. I got a question for you, bro. Okay, what's your biggest hot.

[Myron Jewell]

Take? The NHL is 10 times more entertaining than the.

[Pat]

NBA. Okay, so you are white. Why you say.

[Myron Jewell]

That? I say that because when it comes to the playoffs, like NHL playoffs are like unreal. Like, there's big hits, fights, like big goals, like in late, late stages of the game. Like, it's just unreal atmospheres. Like it's crazy, man. You guys watch.

[Pat]

Hockey? No, no, no.

[Mike]

No.

[Pat]

The. The thing, it's crazy.

[Myron Jewell]

Question. But you're right though. Not gonna lie. I'm nervous as right.

[Pat]

Now. No, no, you're good, you're.

[Mike]

Good.

[Pat]

The. The thing is hockey probably is More entertaining. You just talking to, like, people who grew up around no hockey equipment. So, like, how we ever really get into it? You know what I'm saying? Different.

[Mike]

Backgrounds. Hockey players, though. Try to.

[Pat]

See. Yeah, let's test my.

[Mike]

Knowledge. Named 10 NHL players. Me? Yes.

[Myron Jewell]

You. Okay. Alex.

[Pat]

Ovechkin. Okay. Go.

[Myron Jewell]

Capitals.

[Pat]

Nope. Don't.

[Myron Jewell]

Know. Steven Stamco. Sidney.

[Pat]

Crosby. Sidney.

[Mike]

Crosby.

[Myron Jewell]

Penguins.

[Pat]

Celebrini.

[Myron Jewell]

Nope. Or Macklin.

[Pat]

Celebrini. I know. Brian.

[Myron Jewell]

Scalabri. Connor.

[Pat]

McDavid. Connor McDavid. I know. The young.

[Mike]

Star. Two first.

[Myron Jewell]

Names. Nathan.

[Pat]

McKinnon.

[Myron Jewell]

Yep. Who else is there? Patrick.

[Pat]

Kane. Yeah, we know Kane.

[Myron Jewell]

Yeah. Come on. Manny.

[Pat]

Malkin. Okay. Yeah, yeah. So you really ain't got that much hockey knowledge either. So you just name it. You just naming all the popular.

[Mike]

People. This has been a so much faster to name. Like, I.

[Myron Jewell]

Mean. I mean, I could. I could name a bunch of other players, but you guys probably wouldn't.

[Mike]

Know. No, we probably would. You could have said.

[Myron Jewell]

Anything. Well, I didn't know. Not one person. Yeah, I used to watch hockey.

[Mike]

Highlights just for the.

[Myron Jewell]

Time. First fights. I want to see a.

[Mike]

Fight. I like playing the NHL video games.

[Myron Jewell]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Yeah. NHL is hot. And the NBA product right now is very, very, very bad, especially the regular season. So I would. I would say that you're right. But also, you. You get why people don't watch hockey as much.

[Myron Jewell]

Right? Yeah. Yeah, I see what you're just saying on that part, but sure. You guys should definitely check out some hockey, though.

[Pat]

Sometime. What do you mean, you.

[Myron Jewell]

Guys? What do you mean, you guys? You guys are the five.

[Pat]

Bro. Oh, it's like. Oh, so just black people.

[Myron Jewell]

Huh?

[Pat]

No, I see how it is.

[Makai]

Bro.

[Pat]

Yeah. Yo, turn her.

[Mike]

Down. That's a taste. No, you're good. You're.

[Pat]

Good. No, I'm good. This is just a running joke that I got. I might as well stick with.

[Makai]

It. I know, I.

[Pat]

Know. All.

[Mike]

Right. You are kind of loud, though, but I'll just joke. No, no, I'm joking. What's your biggest hot.

[Makai]

Take? Okay, so if you want to ghost me, and that just tells me who I'm gonna cheat on, who's gonna get cheated on. If you want to ghost.

[Pat]

Me. Okay. Say it all the way over.

[Makai]

Again. Okay, if you want to ghost me, then that just shows me who I'm gonna cheat.

[Pat]

On. Ghost.

[Makai]

Me. Like, you don't want to take me back. You want to act mysterious, and I can act mysterious.

[Mike]

Too. Also, you're cheating on the guy that doesn't text you back. Right?

[Makai]

Away. Yeah, and it's like, not even cheating because, like, I'm not even with you, but you're gonna get cheating.

[Pat]

On. Oh, you just.

[Makai]

Impatient. That is.

[Mike]

Crazy. No, what is ghosting to.

[Pat]

You? She the type of get an argument over a weekend and cheat and just be like, I didn't know you was coming.

[Mike]

Back. I forgot you're visiting your parents this.

[Pat]

Weekend. I thought it was over. You weren't picking.

[Makai]

Up, like, not texting me for however.

[Mike]

Long. Like, what's the amount of time Just trying to see, like, the amount of time that's considered somebody.

[Myron Jewell]

Ghost. I don't.

[Makai]

Know. Like, I mean, if you were together together, not texting me all day is crazy, but if we're not like, in a relationship, not text me for two days when you're saying you, like, are interested in me. That's ghosty. And that's just telling me what I'm gonna do to.

[Mike]

You. So I'm assuming you've done this before.

[Makai]

Then? Well, yeah, that's how I.

[Pat]

Know. How old are.

[Makai]

You? I'm.

[Pat]

24. Oh, you got.

[Myron Jewell]

Time. You.

[Pat]

Just. Just say you want to fuck everybody. You gotta make up no excuses. If a guy does not text me back in 24 hours, I'm fucking somebody else. Like, just go fuck.

[Makai]

Him. Like, I'm gonna go be it. It's like, what if I just go out and you might see me outside with somebody else, but we're just.

[Myron Jewell]

Out? Yeah.

[Pat]

Okay. That's what you want to call it? Hey, just speak. I just. I feel like you just should be empowered enough to be like. I feel like you just want to have sex with a lot.

[Makai]

Of. Yes. Period. Empowered is the.

[Pat]

Word. There you go. We don't.

[Mike]

Do. The people. The people that you talk to know that they have this, like, time limit.

[Makai]

Though. They know that I catch an attitude when they don't text me back and they. I don't know, they do what they do with.

[Pat]

That. Catch an attitude equals give the vagina up. Got it. I'm very annoyed right now. I'm on my way to my.

[Mike]

Ex. You said. You said you cheated. Well, we'll slept with somebody else, right? When you were already talking to.

[Makai]

Somebody? Well.

[Mike]

Yeah. Okay, so it's not like it's ain't say anything out the realm. How many times have you done that, though? Has it always been.

[Makai]

Sex? No, it's not even always been like that. It's like I could be talking to someone and they, like, want to ghost me, like I said. So I'm gonna go pop out and go hang out with somebody else. But we. I don't know, I feel like I live in like a.

[Mike]

Small. I feel it. So when they ghost you, when they ghost you, do they continue ghosting you? Like you don't hear back from the map ever after.

[Makai]

That? No, it's like, why are you gonna stop texting me for two days and then hop back on my phone like nothing.

[Pat]

Happened. I know, but listen, but listen, listen. That's not the problem though. But you know that it's possible for them to negotiate. The problem is you allowing other people's action to put you in another spot where you might not be. You might be hanging out with a dude or having sex with a dude all because another dude didn't hit you up and now you got 20 bodies in the whole year. You know what I'm saying? It's like, it's just like unnecessary. Don't let him make you move a different.

[Makai]

Way. Also, you said I'm young and I have.

[Pat]

Time. So I mean, fuck everybody. I said you got some.

[Myron Jewell]

Time. That's not the dude that you left for. Can ghost you.

[Mike]

Though.

[Myron Jewell]

Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, you leave one guy because he ghosted you, go to the next guy, then he ghosts you two days later, then you go to the next guy. Like, I mean, how does that work if I'm.

[Makai]

Asking? But it's like you can't ghost me and expect me to like, take you serious.

[Myron Jewell]

Right? Well, I think if he ghosts you, he's not taking you serious.

[Makai]

Anyways.

[Mike]

Exactly.

[Pat]

Exactly. So why go have sex with another dude because of.

[Makai]

That. It's not even like I'm gonna go have sex with somebody. I could just go be chill and just to go piss you off and go.

[Pat]

Get. That's. But that's my whole thing is like you're. You're hanging out with other people because you pissed off. So in turn you doing the same. Now you with the other dude. He don't even. He think he got you whole time is cuz you got ghosted. So do you ran.

[Myron Jewell]

Back. You know.

[Makai]

What? Sometimes it's. It's better on the other.

[Myron Jewell]

Side. Like, she must catch feelings.

[Pat]

Easy. Yeah, she fall in.

[Makai]

Love. Oh my.

[Myron Jewell]

God, she must do. Yeah, she must catch feelings easy to start liking guys for them to ghost for two days and then go to the next.

[Pat]

Guy. Like, yeah, she be thinking about they whole life off. One day of talking, she'd be like, oh, how many kids we having.

[Myron Jewell]

Said sometimes it's better on the other side. Right. But Then you. That only happens.

[Pat]

Temporary. I feel like the only I.

[Myron Jewell]

Can be everything that you don't want me to be. So you tell me what the last dude did. And.

[Makai]

My. And my thing is, I don't even want to be in a relationship too. So maybe this is.

[Pat]

Like. Oh, my God. Okay, so this is this last question I'm gonna ask you. Do you want to find true.

[Makai]

Love? Maybe when I'm like, 30, you.

[Pat]

Don'T want to find true love, then. Okay, just do.

[Myron Jewell]

You. You shouldn't even.

[Pat]

Care. You gonna.

[Myron Jewell]

Be. Hey, you shouldn't even care about being ghosted at all. You just living right now. Just live life.

[Pat]

Absolutely.

[Mike]

Yeah. Live your life. Feel.

[Makai]

Empowered.

[Pat]

Yeah. I tried, like, we tried to push her both ways. Like, either own that.

[Mike]

Or.

[Pat]

Or. Or go be the lover girl and not pay attention to what these.

[Myron Jewell]

100. On her own said that she just likes to. In so many ways, she just like to have fun, bro. She's just one of those.

[Mike]

Girls. I'm.

[Myron Jewell]

24. If I like you. And the vibe is. There we go. We fucking. Yeah, man. That's pretty much what she.

[Mike]

Said. The other thing that was happening during Thanksgiving was Tanisha. There was people. There was people showing the plates There was people showing the plates of the Thanksgiving food that they should not be showing on their.

[Pat]

Stories. Like, there's some shit, but say what they look.

[Mike]

Like. It looked like. Some of it looked like.

[Pat]

Shit. No, say what the people look.

[Myron Jewell]

Like. No, this.

[Mike]

Was. I'm not gonna.

[Myron Jewell]

Lie. It was a variety of.

[Pat]

People. Yeah. I believe it.

[Mike]

Though. It's like, sometimes it's just like, all right, you shouldn't have put that on camera. Some of the shit don't be looking like. Like, well done. I think what I start to realize, a lot of us, we have bad plating skills. Like, the food can look good, but the way you plate.

[Pat]

It.

[Mike]

Yeah. Is very important, especially if it's, like, Instagram.

[Pat]

Worthy. Yeah. You got the Mac and cheese splitting a turkey. Like, a dry ass.

[Mike]

Turkey. They can put a turkey leg on top of, like, the bed of, like, the Mac and cheese and calling it a.

[Myron Jewell]

Canoe. So that dog said that that bothers y'. All. Like, I don't care how much my food is on the.

[Mike]

Plate. Like, I.

[Pat]

Personally. For a picture.

[Mike]

Though. For a.

[Myron Jewell]

Picture. For picture purposes.

[Mike]

Right. I don't care what it looks like on my.

[Myron Jewell]

Presentation. Do mean a lot. If you look at it and it look like they just slapped.

[Pat]

It. You like, come on now. Is that stuffing or.

[Mike]

Nasty? Like, I'm even picky too about the way. I'm picky too about the way, like, the Chipotle people, like, scoop my. The.

[Pat]

Food. Oh.

[Mike]

Yeah. If you, like, kind of put it down like a slop, it kind of messes with me.

[Pat]

Mentally. I watch a Chipotle, and you just.

[Mike]

Like. Like, you throw it down. It's like, come on now.

[Pat]

Bro. I watched a Chipotle build my, like, a mountain coming out of the bowl. I said, man, that's why y' all asked me in the back this back there cutting steak.

[Myron Jewell]

Man. I don't even be care. I just as long as they rap it good.

[Mike]

Bro. No, you'd be knowing when they about to up the rapping, though, because you just want to watch. You know, he's like, this dude's about to up my burrito. Let me just see what he does. And you know they know, too, because they start filling it up, and it's, like, way too.

[Myron Jewell]

Much. Yeah, you can tell. You could tell. They put another rap on mine one time, and I was like, man, that was way too much tortilla.

[Pat]

Though. Double wrapping your. Or them having somebody else come finish the rap. That's how you know when they.

[Mike]

Call the manager, somebody, I need help.

[Myron Jewell]

Rapping. He's got this new rapper I want to. Hey, you got to go in there and take. That's too many hands on your burrito. Yeah, you.

[Pat]

Going. Oh, my God, everybody. No, they might. Might go to Chipotle. They all coming from behind the desk. Yeah, give us that burrito. We all touching it.

[Myron Jewell]

Today. Friends gonna see this podcast. Like, man, what was you doing with your pops, bro? We had just as many pauses as regular.

[Mike]

Conversation. Way too old to be positive.

[Pat]

Now. We're not too old. Fat Joe be tripping, though. Frat Joe, what happened? You ain't see his, like, pause moment with Jada? They. They podcast, I.

[Myron Jewell]

Think. I don't remember when it was on thing, but he was.

[Pat]

Like. Like, went into a cheeks. Beat his cheeks off. No, I'm about to find that. Joe say that all the man Fat Joe.

[Myron Jewell]

Cheeks. That's.

[Mike]

Insane. That's a.

[Myron Jewell]

Crazy. See, I think. I think we use Paul so much because of the. The kids and the Internet. Cause, like, when we was young, we would say stuff like, no homo and stuff. But I don't think we used it to this. Like, you know, they used it to, like, the 10th power. Like, you can't say nothing like. Like, remember we used to play basketball? You can say somebody locking somebody.

[Mike]

Up. You be.

[Myron Jewell]

Like. Like, dog got good deed, right? But Today you cannot say that. The whole game will stop.

[Mike]

Bro. It's so.

[Myron Jewell]

Bad. The whole game will.

[Pat]

Stop. Like, man, like, you can't even say, I'm in your ass. I'm on that.

[Myron Jewell]

Ass. You'll defend yourself. You'll defend yourself from a pause and pause yourself more with the defend. And I'm like, bro, I'mma just shut.

[Pat]

Up. Even him, like, he, he say sometimes, like, if I say I'm bad at something, I was like, I ain't play good or something. You say I.

[Myron Jewell]

Suck. See, somebody say, paul.

[Pat]

Look. But I'm just saying like that.

[Myron Jewell]

Say that we should be able to say that I.

[Pat]

Suck. No, you can't. But I'm just saying the words is just like. It's just the words, you.

[Mike]

Hear? I pause in between, between my sentences.

[Myron Jewell]

So. No, I mean, so you can.

[Pat]

Say I. Yeah, no, he don't say, I might be just be.

[Myron Jewell]

Like. Yeah, he just wait five. I gotta put a five minute pause between the eye and something.

[Pat]

Mike. So it might be like. So I was with this dude and he got naked. We was at the locker room in the whack. Like, what the. All right, they go to Fat Joe 1. Hold.

[Myron Jewell]

On. So I smack his cheek off in the bathroom. One.

[Mike]

Second. Slacked his.

[Myron Jewell]

Cheeks. No, I'm telling you, I gave him that fire, boom. Then he tried to act up outside. I finished it off outside, you know what I'm.

[Pat]

Saying? Don't listen to.

[Myron Jewell]

This. Gave him that fire, boom. Then he tried to act up outside. I finished it off outside and really pounded him out. Legend, you know what I'm saying? So I smack his cheek.

[Pat]

Off. Legend. Is that on Instagram? Yeah.

[Myron Jewell]

Yeah. Follow me. Send me that dog. That's a. I'm doing a video with him today. I already got an idea. His face was present. I ain't gonna say the words though. I said the words. I might make it seem like one of my homies talking to us. Yeah, he's just sitting there looking at me like, bro, that's.

[Pat]

Insane. Bro, smack is cheap. Like, what reference could you possibly like? There's so much, so many ways to say you'll be somebody.

[Mike]

Ass off. All heads have the most pause worthy moments too. Because it's just not in their realm of even thinking like.

[Pat]

That. I don't even think they pausing.

[Myron Jewell]

Though. Cause you know, they get mad. They get mad because they get.

[Mike]

Mad. Cause I probably get to an age where I get mad too, where it's like, bro, I'm trying to have a normal conversation. We do this in podcasting kind of world. I don't think we do this in our everyday, our everyday.

[Myron Jewell]

Vocabulary. I only get mad if I'm trying to be. Cause I've got mad before. But if I'm trying to be serious, like I'm having all serious ass conversations. Like, pause, bro, but get your childish ass. I'm mad, dog, but it gotta be like a real, like a serious.

[Mike]

Conversation. That's the worst moments for me and Pat is when somebody's being serious, they say something. We don't laugh out loud, but we just, you know that look you give your friend in the.

[Myron Jewell]

Back. No, I do that too. I do it. So I'm double standard because I do that to y'. All. Like if y' all was having a real heart to heart right now and y' all said something, I look at him and myself, but you did it to me. I'm like, come on, be serious with my.

[Pat]

Son. But sometimes, sometimes it's a facial expression of the other person. Like, you know what you just said, cuz. Facial expressions get you in trouble a lot. There was some. One time me and him was in a room and somebody went up to him, not me, and said, my dog got ran over last night. We had to put him down this morning. And he turned and looked directly at me and the passed on his laugh. He wanted to laugh and then.

[Myron Jewell]

He shot it to.

[Pat]

Me. So I started laughing at the other.

[Mike]

Person. You gotta point to something in the room and start laughing at it, bro. Anything, bro. Something.

[Myron Jewell]

Random. Damn. Damn. Oh yeah. We say I didn't done that before. Just for sure I'll be crying. Something else to put the laugh.

[Pat]

On. I'll be telling people I'm emotional at funerals. Like I won't cry when I hear a person die. But like when I get there, I'm weeping, but it only take me a little bit to get it out there. Like if I feel like somebody ugly crying, I'm like, I'll be like, dude, so.

[Myron Jewell]

Ugly. We would. We cracked up at my auntie funeral, man. My uncle got up there and first of all, his friend went up there and tried to sing. I ain't never seen this man sing a day in my life. It sounded terrible. So the crazy part is the whole funeral laughing. Like I thought they were crying, but everybody laughing, they come around, hand and kiss you. He sound. I can't even imitate, bro. He sounded terrible.

[Mike]

Right?

[Myron Jewell]

But everybody cracking up. Another time I laughed, my grandmother had passed away, right? And she was still in her bed. And they called all the family over, and my grandma getting to bed. You know, I came in sad. This is my grandma. She gone. She cold, right? I gave her a kiss. She called. But now I'm scanning the room. Everybody's standing. All her kids, my dad, my uncle. They standing around the room, and I'm just peeping stuff. And like you said, everybody ugly as hell.

[Pat]

Dude. They're.

[Myron Jewell]

Crying. They ugly. Then my dad had this long ass snap right there. And he. And then he said, this is when I died. Cause it was like, it was hanging. I seen. I tapped my cousin. We like, right? And then he said. And he said, oh, my God. I couldn't hold it in no.

[Mike]

More. I'm like.

[Myron Jewell]

Bro. Then my uncle. Uncle pulled his hat off, man. Had a little perm, bro. Like, his hair used to be like a fro, but it was like, slick back, bro. And I'm like, I'm just. Now I'm in full fledged goofy mode. I'm like, bro, I'm not even paying attention to this no more. I'm looking at everybody around me, dog. I'm just cracking up. And I'm like, why am I laughing.

[Pat]

Bro? No, last time I laughed, almost. I almost paid for that. Cause I got pulled over, and they asked me, have I been drinking that night? And I said, no, why you ask.

[Myron Jewell]

Me? That's.

[Pat]

That. And I started chuckling a little bit.

[Myron Jewell]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Yeah. You.

[Pat]

Bold. Yeah, yeah. I was tripping. I was in, like, Glendale, too. I was like, yeah, I just grew.

[Myron Jewell]

Up. You grew up with black and white people, didn't.

[Pat]

You? No, no, I didn't grow up in Glendale. That's where I.

[Myron Jewell]

Was. Oh, I'm saying. I'm saying, just growing up. You grew up like. Like, evenly or just.

[Pat]

Mostly? No, all.

[Myron Jewell]

Black. Oh, yeah, you crazy. Then I'm like, I feel like all black people. I'd be nervous. I only. I'd be scared to play with the police. I'd be scared. That's why I feel the same. Maybe if you said you was grown. You know, white people, they don't care. They challenge the police, man. One of my friends got pulled over. Y' all got.

[Pat]

It. One of my friends got pulled over before, and he hopped out the car to tell the officer he was not speeding. He said he hopped out, said, I was not speeding. And they start arguing in the middle of the street. I said, what? The black dude, a white.

[Myron Jewell]

Dude. Oh. I say, they. I'm like.

[Pat]

What? Straight out and said, I was not speeding. You pulled me over for no.

[Myron Jewell]

Reason. He like, I didn't pull you.

[Pat]

Over there arguing, and I'm like, do y' all know each.

[Myron Jewell]

Other? No way. I'm hopping out the car.

[Mike]

Bro. We had like, our white friends in college that would try to like, like social justice worry a little bit too much for us sometimes in those situations. Yeah, like you being a crowd in the group and like, somebody say something like, eh, it could have been taken the wrong way. It's like, no, you don't have to take.

[Myron Jewell]

That.

[Pat]

Pat, what is he.

[Myron Jewell]

Doing? I was like, wait, what are you doing? That's.

[Pat]

Funny. Yeah, go ahead. You usually close it. I don't know why you put.

[Myron Jewell]

It on me to close.

[Pat]

It. I ain't got no closing ass voice. They don't take me serious enough to close.

[Mike]

It. Anyway, make sure you guys subscribe to the Patreon we got. We just dropped an episode. Oh, no, we didn't. But there's an episode up there. Yeah, Live show tickets are. Are super.

[Pat]

Low. I'm talking about like, like low. Like, like 13, I.

[Mike]

Think.

[Pat]

Yeah. And I'm about to buy four of them just to with y', all.

[Mike]

So make sure you got Myron. You guys have anything to shout out.

[Myron Jewell]

To? Hey, man, you want to say something? Because he don't talk. I knew he wasn't gonna say something. I say my take get. You better say all your.

[Pat]

Words. Don't even know you got hundreds of thousands of followers on social media. Go ahead and shout it out.

[Mike]

Bro. Know oh, my Instagram.

[Pat]

Type. That's what you talking.

[Myron Jewell]

About. That's why we was talking. We just left in the corner question. Go back like, you better hope. You better break into the.

[Pat]

Conversation. He mad as hell. I already told these my.

[Myron Jewell]

Name. Like, what if they won't tell them your socials? Max, Instagram, YouTube, Tik.

[Pat]

Tok. Nah, I gotta. I gotta go get my voice.

[Myron Jewell]

Deep. And man, you sound like bad God.

[Pat]

Man. That's exactly how God sound when he tell you. No, Nah, I can't even do that. New job, man. Keep.

[Myron Jewell]

Working. Mine is comedian Myron Jewell. I shouldn't have said comedian because somebody gonna type in comedian. Yeah, yeah, they definitely.

[Mike]

Will. We're gonna have everything in the.

[Myron Jewell]

Description.

[Pat]

Okay. They don't know how to spell.

[Myron Jewell]

Comedian. Myron Jewell on all social platforms. Facebook, YouTube, Instagram, TikTok, whatever else I did. Name stand up comedian, actor. I do got a few movies out departments with T.I. yeah, man, I got handpicked for that, man. We did departments too, as well. It ain't out yet. We got like Lil Duval, D.C. young fly Carlos. Yeah, that's out. I got disconnection notice. That's out, too. On Tubi, day after quarantine. First day out. Might be missing some. I just named him for now. I know it's tomorrow, but I'll be missing. But, yeah, that's pretty much it, man. Maybe y' all lock in, man. In my comedy tour, man. I'm building my comedy tour up, man. Shout out to my brother, Funny Marco. Cause I'll be doing his shows with him, but mine. The Best dad in the World comedy tour. I'll be in Miami December 13th, you know what I mean? So just building that from the ground up, you know what I'm saying? I also want to start a podcast soon with me and my son just figuring it out, you know what I mean? It got to be dope, but he just got to learn how to.

[Pat]

Talk. It'll be new, though. You rarely see that, especially in the comedy.

[Myron Jewell]

World. I want to do it, though. I just want to figure out the angle that we're going to attack it with for sure, you know what I mean? I want it to be fun and stuff, but I want him to see a serious eye, and I want him to talk. So I ain't just talking for an hour by.

[Mike]

Myself.

[Myron Jewell]

Yeah. You know what I.

[Pat]

Mean? He told.

[Myron Jewell]

Us.

[Pat]

Me.

[Mike]

Yeah. Anyway, all the information is going to be in the.

[Myron Jewell]

Description.

[Pat]

Peace. Peace.