The Storyline - Episode 200

Summary

Crash Dummies Podcast with Pat and Mike – Episode 200: "The Storyline" Summary

Release Date: April 2, 2025

In the milestone 200th episode of the Crash Dummies Podcast, hosts Patrick Johnson (Pat) and Michael Esiobu (Mike) engage in their signature blend of humor and insightful discussion, featuring guest Gene. The episode delves into a variety of topics, weaving personal anecdotes with broader societal observations.

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1. Opening Banter and Guest Introduction ([01:30] - [04:35])

The episode kicks off with Pat and Mike exchanging light-hearted comments about their surroundings and recent activities. They introduce Gene, referred to as "space," who joins the conversation, bringing a fresh dynamic to the show.

Notable Quote:

• Mike: "Welcome to Crash Dummies podcast. I'm Mike. That's Pat. He’s, you know, scrolling through Twitter right now, checking and stuff." ([01:30])

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2. Friendships in Adulthood: Men vs. Women ([15:24] - [17:01])

Pat and Mike delve into the challenges men face in forming deep, meaningful friendships as adults compared to women. They discuss how men often maintain more surface-level relationships, primarily interacting in public settings without fostering genuine connections.

Notable Quotes:

• Pat: "Men are harder to make real friends compared to women."
• Mike: "People we see are very surface level conversations. I think we're okay with that." ([15:59])

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3. Social Media and Viral Content: Branding and Perception ([05:28] - [08:44])

The hosts discuss the intricacies of social media branding, using the example of Ashton Hall's repetitive fitness videos. They highlight how intentional branding and content strategies can lead to increased visibility and engagement online, contrasting it with natural, unplanned viral moments.

Notable Quote:

• Pat: "People don't realize how hard it is to go viral. It's all about branding." ([06:12])

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4. Regional Lingo and Cultural Differences ([39:00] - [43:19])

Gene shares his experiences with Baltimore's unique lingo, noting phrases like "my heart" and "my baby" becoming increasingly prevalent and occasionally grating. The conversation explores how regional dialects shape interpersonal interactions and perceptions.

Notable Quote:

• Gene: "Calling each other 'my heart' and 'my baby' is getting on my nerves." ([40:43])

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5. Personal Stories: Gene’s Family and Struggles ([55:43] - [62:07])

In a deeply personal segment, Gene recounts his troubled family history, including experiences with relatives involved in drug use. He describes discovering crack cocaine at a young age and the neglect from his older brother Daryl, painting a vivid picture of his upbringing and its impact on his life.

Notable Quote:

• Gene: "My brother was selling drugs, and that's why my sister and I smoked crack at 11 and 13." ([56:14])

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6. Video Games and Changing Interests ([83:45] - [86:27])

Pat and Mike discuss their evolving relationship with video games, touching on the shift from traditional gaming to online multiplayer experiences. They reflect on how time constraints and changing interests have influenced their gaming habits.

Notable Quotes:

• Pat: "I like playing defense in video games because I feel like a coach." ([85:26])
• Mike: "I have to play Madden in like three minutes or less because I don’t have time for long games anymore." ([84:08])

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7. Relationships and Sexual Kinks ([72:12] - [77:56])

The conversation shifts to relationship dynamics, specifically addressing sexual kinks and how they affect partnerships. Pat and Mike explore the complexities of introducing unconventional preferences into a relationship and the importance of mutual consent and comfort.

Notable Quotes:

• Pat: "If your kinks aren't met, then maybe you shouldn't be together." ([75:53])
• Mike: "I feel like some kinks are more aggressive than others and can impact the relationship significantly." ([75:47])

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8. Listener Interactions and Feedback ([20:45] - [22:53])

Gene interacts with the hosts by sharing humorous observations about Chatsworth, California, dubbing it the "porn capital of the world" and sparking a conversation about recognizing locations in media. This segment underscores the hosts' ability to blend humor with relatable content.

Notable Quote:

• Gene: "You see a porn shoot filmed near your high school and just go, 'What?'" ([21:24])

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9. Conclusion and Future Teasers ([87:01] - [88:04])

As the episode nears its end, Pat and Mike tease upcoming episodes and share their excitement about future projects, including Pat's comedy special and planned vacation episodes. They encourage listeners to subscribe to Patreon for exclusive content.

Notable Quote:

• Pat: "Episode 201 will be really good for you. We have a surprise coming your way." ([87:04])

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Episode Highlights:

• Gene's Personal Story: A poignant narrative about overcoming family adversity and substance abuse.
• Friendship Dynamics: Insightful discussion on the superficial nature of male friendships in adulthood.
• Social Media Insights: Exploration of how intentional branding affects online virality.
• Cultural Linguistics: Humorous take on regional slang and its impact on social interactions.
• Gaming Evolution: Reflection on shifting gaming habits due to life changes.
• Relationship Advice: Candid conversation about integrating sexual preferences into partnerships.

Closing Notes:

Episode 200 of the Crash Dummies Podcast offers a blend of humor, personal storytelling, and thoughtful discussions on various aspects of modern life. Pat, Mike, and Gene navigate through topics ranging from friendships and family struggles to social media and relationship dynamics, providing listeners with an engaging and relatable listening experience.

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Don’t Miss Out: Stay tuned for Episode 201, where Pat and Mike promise more surprises and in-depth discussions. Subscribe to their Patreon for exclusive content and support the show’s continued success.

Transcript

[Mike]

Hey, Lonzo Ball, it's your agent. What's up?

[Pat]

I've got a commercial opportunity for you from Buzzball's.

[Mike]

Ready to go. Cocktails. Nice. My last name is Ball. The product is a cocktail in a Ball. I get it. That's what I thought, too. But no. They want you for your hands. They think your big hands will show off the size of their new blue biggies.

[Gene]

Ball.

[Mike]

Big blue balls.

[Pat]

Really?

[Mike]

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[Pat]

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[Mike]

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[Pat]

Just speaking into the void?

[Mike]

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[Pat]

Did you know that parents rank financial.

[Gene]

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[Pat]

Kids are learning about money.

[Gene]

With guardrails in place. Try Greenlight Risk free [e-mail] Spotify yo.

[Mike]

Welcome to Crash Dummies podcast. I'm Mike. That's Pat. He's, you know, scrolling through Twitter right now, checking and stuff. We got Gene over there, space looking like a Tuskegee in Airman. I don't either.

[Pat]

I think you're pretty spot on. Well, it's a brown hat.

[Mike]

Yeah, it's brown hat.

[Pat]

Yeah. Wear brown hats. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mike]

Shout out to this with the glasses, though.

[Pat]

Airmen. Real one.

[Mike]

Anyway, make sure you guys subscribe to the Patreon. Damn, I did it again.

[Pat]

I said D. Now you, you African farmer.

[Mike]

Now try to get more Africans on my side. I hate one. People always say. I mentioned I have Nigerian all the time. I don't.

[Pat]

That they.

[Mike]

They let your joke become true and they. It's almost like they have enough.

[Pat]

Or did you just do it again? No.

[Mike]

I think it's the Mandela effect that's happening on the Listene. Because Pat will always say, oh, my name is Mike. And I'm Nigerian. Right. But I never say that. The only time, the only times I said that was for one story that I told a while ago.

[Pat]

What podcast was it on?

[Mike]

Like two.

[Pat]

What?

[Mike]

I want somebody to list all the.

[Pat]

Times I said on pure and podcast.

[Mike]

To new people that I'm meeting.

[Pat]

You did it to know I'm not.

[Mike]

Selling to the listeners.

[Pat]

Every time they basically saying every time someone come into crash on his house. You mentioned that you're Nigerian.

[Mike]

No. You mentioned. You mentioned that I'm Nigerian.

[Pat]

No, I don't.

[Mike]

Yes, you do. You acknowledge me. You acknowledge me for this.

[Pat]

Maybe.

[Mike]

We've only had like five guests on the show.

[Pat]

I'm trying to beat you to the punch.

[Mike]

I can't win that.

[Pat]

You can't win is be Nigerian. That's for sure.

[Mike]

Make sure you guys subscribe to the Patreon. We just dropped an episode there. Pat just did his comedy special. Well, his first comedy show.

[Pat]

Yeah, it went well.

[Mike]

Shout out to people that drove. There's some people that drove from like Chicago down there.

[Pat]

Some people came from Chicago. Some people. One person was from Detroit. No, Michigan. So that's. That meant a lot. That's tough. I had old college roommate shout out. My boy Steve popping up. And for all those that didn't get to be at the show, we wanted to do a small. It was we a three man team. Like, everybody you see in this room is everybody. So it's just like we, we didn't want to put too much pressure on ourselves and try to fit, you know, 75, 80 people into a building and then have to get all y' all drinks, like. And then we also cut down the probability that we would have. Someone must see there. And there was no one musty at my show. I feel like if I would have drove it to 40, then you get somebody. Oh, I just forgot my deodorant. N. Stand up and get out.

[Mike]

No, it was dope.

[Pat]

You definitely got to run it back. And just let y' all know it's. We got something else cooking.

[Mike]

Yeah. And we're gonna drop that on Patreon at some point. So make sure y' all subscribe to Patreon. What else we got? We never talked about the Ashton hall thing. We're supposed to talk.

[Pat]

Y' all see some clips on my IG before Patreon too. But what.

[Mike]

We never talked about the Ashton hall thing.

[Pat]

Oh, yeah, yeah. I really don't care.

[Mike]

I think I. I think I stopped caring that much because I just obviously he's just like, he's exaggerating. And he knows the Internet.

[Pat]

Cliff arm.

[Mike]

Yeah. Yeah. It's good farming.

[Pat]

He understands like there has to be. I would think that if I saw him and there was not a camera on that. He a really, really good social media guy.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Like he seems like a social media guru in a sense. Almost everything I said.

[Mike]

I think he's an online fitness coach.

[Pat]

I saw a two hour video of him running and it just was like put in a loop. I think it was nine seconds.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

So stretched to two hours and a nine second video played for two hours. So he just clip firming at this point. And I get it. If you can take advantage of the Internet in that way.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Then you can. Because there's a lot of people that just be like man, that stuff is stupid. But it's a lot of people viewing.

[Mike]

It's a lot of people also. Also the Saratoga water company, they said like the Google search history, the Google search went up like a thousand percent or something like that. And people were like, oh, he just made that company a bag and stuff like that. I think people fail to realize is that the reason some of the content like the reason we know it's Saratoga water is because they're branding.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

So it's like they already established they. He chose that water because it's probably a really good water. Maybe he probably already had.

[Pat]

He probably already has some link to it. They put in some work too.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

He accidentally used Saratoga. He must with.

[Mike]

Because I would see like this is what happens when you try to put on brands and stuff like that. But I don't think people. When the people do stuff naturally like that. Like I have a Fiji water behind here. Right. When people do stuff like that naturally it's like I'm not. Nobody's expecting it to go super, super viral. So it's like I'm just doing this because I like the water or and stuff like that, bro.

[Pat]

People don't realize how hard it is to go viral. People always talk about what they would do if they was in somebody else position. If I was in that position I would have put my own water bottle brand.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah. That's like. Stuff like that is so. It's like hindsight.

[Pat]

You can't even get third shift supervisor down. Like come on brother.

[Mike]

It's like it's. It's like the, the financial hypotheticals. Like would you rather have $100,000 right now?

[Pat]

If I see one more nerd ass dude. Talk about MO3. Should have went this way. Should have ran this way. I don't know why he ran out the car and it was shot. Like, bro, you are like, you work a 9 to 5 corporate job, bro. You don't know what. It's like, everybody that's about to die, guess what, They've never died before. Like, this is their first time about to die. Like, a lot of people are going to do weird things when they're about to die and you know the full story. It's just crazy to comment on some shit. But, like, he should have did such and such.

[Mike]

Even like the financial ones. When it's like, would you rather take $1 million right now or get $100,000 every five years of like, I'm a flip that 100,000, bro, or don't take the million and I'm a flip that.

[Pat]

Some, some people, the worst word that here in a life is, hey, bro, why? What you mean why? I' ma flip it, bro.

[Mike]

Or how, How?

[Pat]

Just because. Because I'm gonna do this. Why are you doing that, bro? It's a hypothetical. Yeah, that's what I thought about.

[Mike]

I'm saying there, there is a thing when it says, like, if you can't flip $10, you can't flip, like, you know, a lot of money when you get a lot of money.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

And I do think I used that. True. No, I used to think it wasn't true, but it is kind of true because I have made small. It doesn't have to be like that. The literal, like even. Just think about the podcast. We spent 300 on podcast equipment.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

And we. And we had a plan to flip that money that we spent to get our return on our investment.

[Pat]

Correct. That's that. I think it's a difference when people talk about. That's why I hate questions like that. Because one question is if you can't flip ten dollar or you can't flip ten dollars, you can't flip a million dollars.

[Mike]

Yes.

[Pat]

Right. Okay, I understand that. But is it $10 just purely trying to be flipped?

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Then it's a different thing now. If I got $10 to my name, then people living in poverty can knock them right back down. And you talking about some other.

[Mike]

I think in general, though, whether, like, if you're doing. If you're the making an average income. Right.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Can you still flip $10?

[Pat]

That's the challenge. And I think a lot of people could do it. But that's not always.

[Mike]

But, But I'm just saying though, I get it. I don't think. Not Everybody can flip $10.

[Pat]

That's hard because you either gotta flip it or like, you might get hungry.

[Mike]

Yeah, exactly.

[Pat]

Okay. Your brother, your boy. Come back with the plan. All right, bro, listen, I found a way to flip our ten dollars into a hundred dollars, bro. So the first thing we got to do is what are you eating right now? No way you lie, bro. We still got 392 left.

[Mike]

Or you have that friend. We always have. Everybody has that friend that has like the over. Like the overzealous plan. Yeah, they go like the world conquering plan. Like, hey, bro, we about to take over the world with this plan. And it sound like some bullshit. The thing about the fucked up part is that people always say, oh, no one ever believed in me because these plans and stuff like that. I think it's just a normal reaction sometimes. And not everybody becomes like, you're okay, good. You're 0.1111% that your dream came true. Mark Zuckerberg, you know, say, no, Some.

[Pat]

People be having like this whole money plan, and the. The base of the whole money plan is to give the money to a other mother. You got all these plans, but the first step is. Is to give the money to somebody else and sit back and watch like, oh my God.

[Mike]

Like, hey, bro, I don't. Or to like, put money in a system that gener they say generates like money on. On. What's the. What's the word I'm looking for? Yeah, on. On. On. Autopilot. There you go.

[Pat]

Damn.

[Mike]

I've never seen betrayal by friends. Passive income, stupid ass generation. I've never seen them. I've never seen mature like that. Pat looked away from me as I was having a br.

[Pat]

That was. I had a brain with. Whatever you going for a little bit too much.

[Mike]

Jean was like trying his hardest to help me.

[Pat]

I was like.

[Mike]

Started taking his glasses off slowly.

[Pat]

What are we talking about?

[Mike]

I don't know.

[Pat]

No real.

[Mike]

No people with bad plans. Oh, yeah, they don't know what they're doing.

[Pat]

No people. I don't like that though. People just like, they come up to you with these plans like, bro, all we got to do is take the money and then we're gonna put it in this bank account. Then after three years, we're gonna take it out that bank account. Then he got a construction thing that's gonna go up, and then we get our money back from construction thing, put it into this building, and then we get partial ownership of the bucks.

[Mike]

Oh, damn, bro.

[Pat]

What's the first step? We gonna give 50000 to my cousin Ronald, he gonna do everything I just explained.

[Mike]

Yeah, we gonna sit back like some.

[Pat]

That's like the whole concept of like Ed. Edd Nettie was like his three crazy ass friends and. Yeah, crazy ass plan. I don't like the, the thing. When I think about the concept of those cartoons, they weren't teaching us, like, it was just like some weird going on. Like, I don't know what I was learning from watching Dragon Ball Z.

[Mike]

Like, nah, Dragon Balls. He got me turned, bro.

[Pat]

It taught me to be patient. That's what it's on here. Because you never know when the episode gonna end next week. What the you mean?

[Mike]

No, Dragon Ball Z to me was like what ET is to some people. E. T. Eric Thompson.

[Pat]

Eric Thomas.

[Mike]

Thomas what? Eric Thomas is to some people. Yeah, with the motivation, like the, the, the scene between like Gohan and Cell, I'm getting. I'm nerding out right now. Yeah, but Gohan and Cell, right when, you know, Cell didn't think that this little kid can beat him and he powers up on his ass. And then, you know, they do the Kamehameha and sell this little thing. It's like, you know, it's always the, the villain things, like they think they're winning at first and they, you know, they realize they're about to lose. So that, that got me turned. Okay, Lion King got me turned.

[Pat]

No, no, no. I like the Dragon Ball Z. Krillin taught me a valuable lesson. Some of these boys be hoes. Ain't nothing you can do about it.

[Mike]

The Krillin get his ass beat like, oh, I feel like I've seen him get his ass beat so, so many times.

[Pat]

He had a punchline. It was like, if I die, I die. Or I might die. He called it a punchline. We just started fighting. He like, like got killed by freezing. He used to always be running like he was a person that would like when everybody was knocked out, he was going to go get the sensu beans to get back up and then he would. He literally. Cuz, you know, a lot of people deem him as brave. I understand that, but he literally. Basically his job was to fight the villain long enough so everybody could recover. Hold them off. He know he loses.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

So he's just doing all these things. And then he surprised everybody with one move and almost clipped the villain that he not even supposed to clip. Like he had knocked something out.

[Mike]

Oh, Krillin got close to him.

[Pat]

He had died.

[Mike]

They had Krillin too, winning some fights that he shouldn't have Won like, we were like, oh, Krillin is. Krillin did that. At first, that person, not that strong as we thought he was.

[Pat]

Danny dated a robot.

[Mike]

If somebody, like, offers you, like, a favor or, like, offers you help you with something, and it's, like, way too good, aren't you. Are you a little skeptical? Especially if you didn't really ask for that thing. Versus everybody's just like, hey, bro, like, I remember you said you were having car problems last week. I know you got it fixed, but here I'm about to buy you a new car.

[Pat]

No, you can buy the car.

[Mike]

You don't care how they got the car. You don't care what they think. Those strings attached, as long as I.

[Pat]

See them pay for it. And I know they ain't selling no car. But no favor. Just be like, a guy you just met anybody and he texts you. Just be like, oh, yeah, nice talking business with you. Let me come over and clean your living room. Listen, ain't no living room cleaning up over here.

[Mike]

Or the dude wants to go out with you every night or some. Yeah, like, inviting you to every, like.

[Pat]

Social event, not getting invited immediately out by somebody, like, somebody you just met, just always throw me off. Like, there's no way you want to get drinks with me immediately.

[Mike]

Do you think it's easier for adult men or adult women to make friends? Like, who do you think is. Who do you think has a hard time making friends in their adult life? Men or women?

[Pat]

Men.

[Mike]

You think so?

[Pat]

Yeah, like, real friends.

[Mike]

I think, like, but that's the thing. I think guys are okay without being real friends. Like, we okay.

[Pat]

They think they. Okay.

[Mike]

No, I think we think we okay, we have people that we know. Like, we just. People we see. We don't see at all until we, like, in a public setting or like a. A club or something. And it's just, like, we dapping up and we. Yeah, yeah.

[Pat]

Surface level.

[Mike]

Yeah, very surface level conversation. I think we're cool with that.

[Pat]

Guys are more of like. Like, are you gonna make my life more difficult? Like, that's, like, my first thing. Yeah, you got drama in your life. You got women yelling at you and got all this going on. Like, as soon as I hear your girl yelling too loud at you over the phone.

[Mike]

The thing about. I hate that those friends I do avoid, like, those people like to make friends with, like, if they have, like, girl problems and like, that. Like, legit. Like, I hear him getting cursed out.

[Pat]

As soon as I.

[Mike]

Because I'm collateral damage.

[Pat]

Hey, hey, bro. Let's go this way. That girl. I told you. Nah, bro. Yeah, I'm not.

[Mike]

Or you trying to be like. Or if you're trying to be, like, super shy, which you're like, you're. You like, you got a girl, and you like, girl you're public with, and you trying to be super shy with me. Like, no, bro, I don't want to be part of this story.

[Pat]

You know what somebody. You know it's up when somebody tell you they deepest, darkest secret. 12 hours into meetings, you cheating on your wife.

[Mike]

What the.

[Pat]

Bro, just pass the ranch.

[Mike]

They telling you with who and why.

[Pat]

25 minutes into beat us, right? It's the first wings. No, we just talking about this because you went to go pick one of our friends up, and we was all in a group chat. So I know when you got there because you told him here, and he responded two minutes later. And I know where. I know where he lives. And he don't live in, like, the greatest area. It ain't, like, a shitty area, but it's a place that.

[Mike]

Yeah, you don't want to be idle in the car.

[Pat]

Correct. And I'm like, oh, I know. Mike pissed right now because I. Because we get pissed at the same shot. Like, bro, I'd be living like, bro, you know where you live at? Have your ass out here already. Yeah, the door actually already open.

[Mike]

Yeah, like, drop. Stop dropping. Roll into the.

[Pat]

You got me with all tenant windows and in your hood just chilling in the middle of the street.

[Mike]

Hold on, bro.

[Pat]

You need.

[Mike]

And then to start asking me if you need anything from upstairs, bro. Hey, I got waters in the fridge, bro. You were like, the water.

[Pat]

Come in, bro. Get your ass in the car. But the thing I don't like is, like, when you don't understand where somebody live, and you kind of just like letting anything play, and then you pull up and you're just like, God damn. I should probably turn this Adele down.

[Mike]

Anytime somebody gives me a. A address of a place, right, I put it in Google. And then I always zoom in, do the little street view thing. Do a whole360. Because I'm not gonna lie, some places, they. They have the camera pointed. They live on the good side of the street. But, like, right on the other cross of the street is the boonies. It's just like, you gotta do a whole rotation. And you know, like, the super. Those neighborhoods would have those, like, hard lines where it's like, literally the hood and the next street is legit. The suburbs.

[Pat]

No, but I would say that's that's not my. That used to be like. Because, like, when you from a hood, you don't want to go to nobody else hood.

[Mike]

No, for sure I don't want to.

[Pat]

I don't see how people, especially if you grew up in it. Why would I want to go to somebody else hood? Yeah, I know how people in my neighborhood.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

I don't know what's going on over here. But the. I thought that was the worst thing. But the worst thing is actually, bruh, I don't think. I think I told the story before. I want to diss ways. But the one thing about Waze is they'll get you anywhere you want to go, but they trying to take the quickest route, and they. They don't care what that costs you, bro. There was one time Waze told me to cut through, like, somewhere in Ohio, and I was like, all right. I cut through here, and it shaved 17 minutes off my time because it was a big accident on a major freeway. So I said, damn, that's dope, man. I was like, ah. And I need gas. It's perfect. It's sending me through a town. Driving through the town, I just started seeing so many Frederick flags. I was like, bruh, there is no way. And then I went to the gas station, and it was one of them, like, employee pump gas.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And he was just standing out there. He had overalls on. He was just like, nah, don't stop here, boy. I ain't stopping there, bro.

[Mike]

You let him hold you. He ran you out of there.

[Pat]

You thought I was gonna stop there.

[Mike]

But he ran you like, so you let him running you out of there.

[Pat]

Yeah, whatever you call it, bro. I'm here. I'm on this part.

[Mike]

I'm just saying, bro.

[Pat]

Overalls, but no T shirt. No T shirt with all Confederate flags. I'm like, where the am I? The. They should have a map. Black people should have a map for, like, sundown towns, like. Or those type of towns. Like, you know how many people just been driving through some? Like, I'm take a shortcut through here and run into some. Be a safe pass the going on in this. And it's musty than a not be stinking as hell in them towns. Nobody bathing, nothing.

[Mike]

This episode is presented to you by Underdog. Turn your takes into cash with Underdog by picking higher or lower on your favorite player stats. Make sure to support this show by hitting the link in the description and downloading Underdog sign up and deposit now using the promo code Dummies to get up to $1,000 of bonus cash and a free pick. Yo, what up? Welcome to Crow Dummies podcast.

[Pat]

Oh, yeah, that's true.

[Mike]

What's up, y' all?

[Gene]

How you doing?

[Mike]

Pretty good. I got a question. I got a question for you. What's the funniest thing about your city?

[Gene]

Well, I'm pretty sure you all been to Cali, but y' all never been to Chatsworth.

[Mike]

What?

[Gene]

Right? You never been to Chatsworth, California?

[Mike]

Not that I know of.

[Gene]

So basically, it's the same Fernando Valley, but it's. It's the porn capital of the world.

[Mike]

Oh, why is it. Why is it the corn capital of the world?

[Gene]

Well, I mean, we all watch corn, right?

[Mike]

Okay, Yep.

[Gene]

If you see in some videos, at least for me, I can recognize the streets and, like, the houses.

[Pat]

One of them was filmed.

[Gene]

Hey, man. Hey, man.

[Pat]

It's bike. Like, listen, I know y' all gonna blame this. He just better at hiding me.

[Gene]

That's it.

[Pat]

That's it. Keep going, bro.

[Mike]

So you can recognize. So you recognize porn scenes and porn scenes. You recognize the streets?

[Pat]

Well, I mean, like, you know how.

[Gene]

In someone, like, the opening scenes, they're, like, walking down the street and you're.

[Mike]

Like, oh, like, why does it come in.

[Gene]

One of them was actually filmed by my high school. And so I looked, and I was like, wait. I'm like, that's right outside, like, this part of my school.

[Mike]

And so, sure enough, like, everyone, like.

[Gene]

It'S like, yo, there's a porn shoot filmed on.

[Mike]

I went to.

[Gene]

It's called El Camino High School. It was, like, by El Camino High School. And then, sure enough, it all got leaked. Everyone got sent it, and then it was right there.

[Mike]

But, yeah, you don't think. That's, like, you don't feel like you're too deep in. When you start noticing streets and houses and in the opening scenes.

[Gene]

I mean, I wasn't purposely looking for.

[Mike]

It, but I was. You, like, watching, and you're watching opening scenes?

[Pat]

Yeah. Come on, man.

[Gene]

He's like, we. We all gotta just do the storyline and see where this goes.

[Mike]

Okay, so you're for the plot type of person.

[Gene]

Exactly. Exactly.

[Mike]

More.

[Gene]

I'm more of the story of seeing what's going on.

[Pat]

Yeah, it's list for people like you. We gonna get you on a list. I don't know what list it is. This has to be illegal, man.

[Mike]

As long as. As long as I can still get.

[Gene]

A job, being on that list is all that matters.

[Mike]

Oh, my. All right.

[Pat]

I've never heard of A will.

[Gene]

Nah.

[Mike]

All right, man. You have a good one. This message is brought to you by Abercrombie and Fitch. I've been ready for summer for a while, and now it's finally time for summer outfits. With a trip coming up, the A and F vacation shop has me covered. Abercrombie really knows how to do a lightweight outfit. Their tees, sweater, polos, and linen blend shorts never miss. I wear Abercrombie denim year round. Their shorts are no different and have the comfort I need for summer. Prep for your next trip with the A and F vacation shop. Get their newest arrivals in store online and in the app. This episode is brought to you by State Farm.

[Pat]

Knowing you could be saving money for.

[Gene]

The things you really want is a great feeling.

[Mike]

Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can choose to bundle and save with a personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer.

[Pat]

Availability, amount of discounts, and savings and.

[Mike]

Eligibility vary by state.

[Pat]

Well, I got.

[Gene]

I got a question. I got a question.

[Mike]

Go ahead, Go ahead.

[Gene]

Actually, no, it's one thing when, remember the podcast you guys said of like, oh, why do. Why do bodybuilders gotta drop their pants at the middle of the gym?

[Pat]

You never said that.

[Mike]

Go ahead.

[Gene]

Yeah, okay. Anyway, but I want to say, like, the purpose behind it is because you want to see the definition of your legs no matter if you're like, bulking or cutting.

[Mike]

So that's why they do it.

[Gene]

I don't know about the middle of the gym, but.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

So you do that. Yeah, yeah, but I don't do in.

[Gene]

The middle of the gym. I ain't that crazy how taller.

[Mike]

But why. Okay, so why do bodybuilder. Why do bodybuilders keep the. The jogging pants or their sweatpants at their ankles? Why can't they just take it all the way off?

[Gene]

Well, it depends if.

[Mike]

If they're trying to lose weight, they're.

[Gene]

Trying to sweat out. And then once they sweat out and like dry and get dry, they want to see their legs after the pump.

[Mike]

So why don't you like, take more.

[Gene]

Of like a sweatsuit type deal, if you catch what I'm saying?

[Mike]

I'll do y' all, bro.

[Pat]

No, no, no, no. How tall are you?

[Mike]

I'm six foot Pat Dang.

[Pat]

Six foot bodybuilder.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Pat]

You wear glasses?

[Gene]

When I have to.

[Pat]

There we go.

[Mike]

No, you know what?

[Pat]

You are sounding like a squirrel. Crazy part is I wear glasses so it's just funny when they get offended by. Because I would never get offended by somebody saying I wear glasses. But, you know, it means something to them.

[Gene]

Yo, yo, yo, yo. What's good, guys?

[Mike]

What up? What up?

[Gene]

Give me a sec. Me? No, I got this. No, I got in my throat, bro.

[Mike]

Okay, whenever you're ready, bro.

[Gene]

All right, all right, we good.

[Mike]

No, I meant for the question. I met for the question. Like, whenever he's ready for the question.

[Pat]

No, you're lying. You're lying. You're lying.

[Mike]

I got a question for you.

[Pat]

Let's be mature, bro.

[Mike]

What's the point?

[Gene]

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Just before anything happens, Happy late National Women's Month.

[Mike]

All right, I got a question for you.

[Pat]

The women, bro.

[Gene]

All right, all right, all right.

[Mike]

What's the funniest thing about your city?

[Gene]

That ain't. That ain't the question. I. What?

[Mike]

All right, I got you. I got you. What's this? What's something that about Americans that annoys you?

[Gene]

All right, bro, So I was in. I was in a IHOP a couple days ago, right? And I mean, I hop pretty good, you know. Gave me like a little bit of pancake. That 7pm Good, though. And I went to the bathroom, right? And what? And I was just like. I was. I took a. You know, wait. Went to wash my hand. And then when I was washing my hands, I look over my shoulder. And this is directed at Pat, by the way, because this was weird as, bro, I look over my shoulder, the guy was pissing dead lock with my eyes, bro. Start looking at me and like, why are you looking at me while you got your thing in your hand, bro?

[Mike]

Like, he was. He's watching you wash your hands.

[Pat]

You gotta start, like. We gotta, like, link me to stories. I'll get where you at now. But God damn over here washing my.

[Gene]

Hands and just had, like. Had like seven pancakes at 7pm and got syrup and on my hands. And I look over and there's a man with his. Giggling in his hand watching me, bro. Like, what?

[Mike]

But he's probably trying to make sure.

[Pat]

But you are also watching him with his dick in his hand. So. And you just took a. So we just.

[Mike]

Taking a. With syrup on your hands is crazy.

[Pat]

That's crazy.

[Mike]

So you didn't wash your hands before he took it. So you got syrup in your ass and.

[Gene]

All right, yo, yo, bugging.

[Pat]

All right. He was wiping his ass and the hairs was coming up. You trying to get a wax? Boy gave himself a wax.

[Gene]

Wait, is that. Is that Your. Did I hear Jean back there? Was that Jean?

[Pat]

Yes. Gene, bro. Yeah, what's up? What's up?

[Gene]

So, Gene, how would you feel if you were washing your hands and. And you see, I just.

[Pat]

Man, I just mind my business.

[Mike]

What the.

[Gene]

You mean.

[Mike]

I would have watched you too? Because he probably saw you go in with syrup on your hand, and as you're washing your hand, he's like this. Still got syrup on his ass.

[Pat]

He literally forgot he had his dick in his hand.

[Gene]

What the wait was. Was. Was Paige there or did I shut.

[Pat]

Your sticky ass up. I got one last question.

[Mike]

Go ahead, bro. Go ahead, bro.

[Gene]

I. I was in the live and I. I asked a question. You guys didn't even see it, though. I was like, I. I personally never been to Milwaukee, and so I was like wondering, like, you guys got like. You guys got like food and there, like buildings or like.

[Mike]

No, yeah, yeah, just go to like.

[Pat]

You got like Google and bro.

[Mike]

There'S this fire ass restaurant on Fond du Lac, like all the way on the north side on the like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All the way on the floor side. What's up? Where's the other places you should go.

[Pat]

For capital and find the lag for sure. Stop over there.

[Mike]

Capital and find the lack.

[Pat]

Yep, yep. 27th and Birlai.

[Mike]

27Th of Birlai.

[Gene]

All right.

[Pat]

Yeah, it's nice over there. Oh, let me write that shit down real quick. Nice restaurants.

[Gene]

Can I take key out to eat or something? Or.

[Mike]

Go ahead. Whatever you want to do.

[Pat]

He good over there.

[Mike]

You're not here right now.

[Pat]

Yeah. Make sure you roll down your windows and unlock your doors too, man. They don't like. Oh, it's nice. Like, you want to be. You free over there, bro. You free?

[Gene]

Don't worry.

[Mike]

And. And if you. If you're visiting, make sure when you rent in a car, get a Kia.

[Pat]

Have to. It's like mandatory here.

[Mike]

All right, bro, that is the best. It's the best on mileage. And they have like a different type of Kia parkings. Like, there's, you know, there's like, everybody else pays like normal prices for parking and. But when you own a Kia, you can park in certain spots. Yeah.

[Gene]

You're trying to get me robbed right now.

[Mike]

We try to make sure you're safe, bro.

[Pat]

Is a Kia or Nissan in this city? Anything else you driving? Anything else people going to see?

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Gene]

Oh, all right, bro. I don't want nobody see me key.

[Mike]

I just let.

[Gene]

That's like seeing me with the chop ch, bro. I don't Want none of that, bro? Hell no.

[Mike]

All right, bro. You have a good one.

[Pat]

Your ass up.

[Gene]

Hello?

[Mike]

Hello.

[Gene]

Wait, can y' all hear me?

[Mike]

Yes.

[Gene]

Okay. Sorry, I just heard my echo. What's up, guys?

[Mike]

How's it going?

[Gene]

Say, nothing much.

[Mike]

We about chill, chilling, podcasting, and.

[Gene]

AI.

[Mike]

What I feel like. Or do you feel like AI?

[Gene]

Y' all sound like y' all don't sound, like, real.

[Mike]

Oh, we don't. You. You. Have you talked to us before? This is your first time.

[Gene]

That's my second time. The first time, y' all didn't sound real either. No, cap.

[Mike]

All right, well, something about Americans that annoys you.

[Pat]

Who is this?

[Gene]

Oh, my God.

[Pat]

No, wait, wait, wait.

[Gene]

Real quick. I think, though. Yeah, I'm the girl who's eating desserts. And guess what, Guess what. I don't know how long it's been since then. I've still been strong.

[Pat]

You were a gift eating desserts.

[Gene]

Yeah, And I had the seven year on and off relationship, and y' all told me that I was gonna go back to him, and I. It's been like, what, three weeks?

[Pat]

Do we make a clip out of it?

[Gene]

No, I wasn't that good.

[Pat]

Oh, it didn't make the podcast.

[Gene]

No, it made the off. It made the podcast.

[Pat]

So make the podcast, but not a clip.

[Gene]

Yeah, because, I mean, the girl was talking about how, like, you know, she told her man that there was, like, five other better dicks than him, so of course I didn't make a clip. Yeah, she got it.

[Pat]

All right.

[Mike]

Okay, Okay, I got a question for you. What's something about Americans that annoys you?

[Gene]

Okay, so my family's African. I have, like, a lot of Middle Eastern friends, and it's like one of those things that I've always seen. I think just like most foreigners, they go out with their friends, their family. Like, you're fighting for the bill, you know what I mean? Like, you don't just, like, be penny pinching, like, you know, you like. I don't know, you just like. I just feel like I'm not, like, one of the people who are like, oh, I need to, like, split this every single time. So whenever I would start, like, when I was in college and I would start hanging out with, like, my friends from school, it would be like, they'll be like, okay, everybody, you have to send me 2.11 for this Uber. And I'm like, this is. I just think that is, like, this. That's just like, a weird thing. I mean, I understand that people's right. Their entitlement to their money. And I guess there's a lot of broke people out here, so I understand, like, you need the $2, but it's just, like, a weird thing to, like, be real cool with somebody and to be a penny pincher. And I just, like, that's a very.

[Mike]

American trait, to be a penny pincher or smart.

[Gene]

Oh, so you broke too, huh? Are you in poverty?

[Mike]

Oh, yeah, I am.

[Pat]

So.

[Gene]

So when you. When you ride around with Pat, right?

[Mike]

I might ride. Okay, go ahead.

[Gene]

That's actually what I meant to say. Well, Pat ride around with you is like, are you gonna ask him for $5 for gas money?

[Mike]

I mean, if he offers.

[Gene]

Ew, I hate that. No. Oh, wait. Are you gonna ask?

[Pat]

No way. She just healed you crazy.

[Gene]

No, that's like, okay, are you gonna ask it?

[Mike]

Are you still. Are you still. You're still single? Huh?

[Gene]

What? If I have to.

[Mike]

This a question. It's a question. Are you still single?

[Pat]

And this is what men do as soon as we leave the month, ladies. As soon as we get out of the month. Look what he does.

[Mike]

Are you still single?

[Gene]

Yes.

[Mike]

What do you. What do you think the reason you're still single is?

[Gene]

Maybe because it's a lot of broke ass like you, Mike. Because this is, like. This is pat behavior. This is some pat behavior that you're pulling. And it's like, it's really weird of you to even, like, do that. And it's like, you know what? Like, are you single?

[Mike]

No, I'm not.

[Gene]

Oh, send. Bless that girl's heart because she's giving you $5 for gas on you. No, no, she's probably the one driving. Oh, my God. She's the one.

[Mike]

I have a.

[Pat]

Hand on your side.

[Gene]

While you're in the passenger.

[Mike]

I haven't said anything. Absolutely.

[Pat]

Now you pissing me off. Okay, I got. Why didn't you answer the question of if you have a boyfriend? He. He just politely ask. Had a boyfriend.

[Gene]

I said, I'm. Please pat. And stop eating his dick. Oh, my goodness.

[Pat]

Like.

[Gene]

Oh, you're in a relationship with pot.

[Pat]

Listen, you're.

[Gene]

You're literally.

[Pat]

Listen, you're literally assaulting us.

[Mike]

I don't even know what to say.

[Pat]

I'm like, last year you had a boyfriend. That's it. I literally.

[Mike]

Honestly, this is the reason I asked, because I was kind of getting tired of the previous conversation. I wanted to shift gears because.

[Gene]

It really offended you.

[Pat]

It was ass. That was terrible.

[Mike]

And you brought up this show should.

[Gene]

Be called Crash Dick Rider.

[Pat]

There we go.

[Mike]

That's how you make the pot. I'm helping you make the pot.

[Gene]

The woman's month end and now look at you, the woman.

[Pat]

Let me tell you something. This is probably the best we've been ever cooked on this show. And now I'm so happy you don't have a man. Welcome to Crashing Podcast. What's good, bro?

[Gene]

Nothing much, man. How are y' all?

[Pat]

Good. Good, good, good. What opinion do you have about a pro athlete? But it has nothing to do with their sport.

[Gene]

Okay, so I'm gonna be real with you guys. Zion for sure needs to be studied because his roster of females is just nasty, bro. Like, especially the. The most recent one. I forget what her name even is, but, like, a few of her workout videos or her track videos. The BBO is disgraceful.

[Mike]

What type of girls you into?

[Gene]

I'm into black women.

[Pat]

Okay, be a little bit more specific. How tall are you? Because you're talking about Mariah Mills or something like that.

[Mike]

Is that.

[Pat]

Well, how tall are you?

[Gene]

I'm five six.

[Pat]

The.

[Gene]

See, I would have said five seven.

[Pat]

Hey, hey, pipe down.

[Mike]

So you might not be into the type of woman that he's into because they're just way too big for you. Because he's six. What?

[Pat]

No.

[Gene]

Did you look at her?

[Mike]

No, not really. But I'm just saying, though, like, I would.

[Gene]

Yeah, yeah.

[Pat]

You ain't got enough meat for that, do you?

[Gene]

No.

[Pat]

My meat's not big enough for you. I hate you. Get out of here a little bit.

[Mike]

Have a good one, bro. Oh, man. Yo, welcome to Crash to me's podcast.

[Gene]

What's up, Mike?

[Mike]

What it do, pap?

[Gene]

What's up? What's up?

[Mike]

Pass a hey, too.

[Gene]

Oh, what's the deal, Rich? Okay, I was ready to say that was Mike.

[Mike]

Nah, Gene here. No, that Gene here, too.

[Pat]

Hey, space.

[Mike]

Hey, Gene.

[Gene]

My bad. I'm sorry.

[Mike]

No, you know, what's the deal?

[Gene]

Oh, my God, y' all. I'm sorry. I'm excited. Y' all is like my virtual brothers. My virtual big brother. For real.

[Pat]

Hey, that's tough.

[Mike]

We with it. We with it. I got a question for you. What's the funniest thing about your city?

[Gene]

I think it's the lingo the crackhead downtown likes to market.

[Mike]

Where you from?

[Gene]

Craig is be at. I'm from Baltimore.

[Pat]

Oh, what's some of the lingo?

[Gene]

I don't live in the city anymore, so that's what really made me think that that's the funniest thing is the lingo. Because you're going when I go back in the city, you just hear a lot of people just say a lot of crazy things, you know, and they say we sound like British ghetto British people.

[Mike]

What's awesome Baltimore lingo that you didn't know was weird until you left Baltimore.

[Gene]

Oh, now with like, tick tock and stuff around, everything is getting everywhere but, like, just calling everybody dummy. Me and my friends, we. We call each other a lot, so that's everywhere. Oh, wait, wait, wait. Another thing that's like getting crazy in Baltimore and then just. I. I don't know if it's other places, but calling each other my heart and my baby. My heart like that is getting on my nerves and.

[Pat]

Yo, yo, Baltimore, I think y just got to warm up with that first two you went straight about.

[Mike]

Yeah, cuz at first I didn't really hear it, man.

[Pat]

You started then that two. God, then that two took me somewhere. The two took you so far?

[Mike]

Two?

[Gene]

No, I just seen a video. They had it on there. They had. They were singing Happy Birthday, so it's like happy birthday to you. I'm like.

[Mike]

The way you say birthday, this is crazy.

[Pat]

No, can you sing Happy Birthday, though? How y' all sing Happy Birthday? This is funny.

[Gene]

Can we sing it regular? You know, Cha cha cha. Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to Crash, dummy.

[Pat]

Nah, Birthday to you is crazy. I rock with that.

[Mike]

I would feel if I went to my birthday party in Baltimore and everybody was singing that. Being drunk and shit like that. I think I'm having, like, a fever dream.

[Pat]

No, I would definitely join in too. Let me see how they sing it. You know what I'm saying? I'm going off the court chorus a little bit.

[Gene]

You really don't notice it until you, like. Well, for me, I didn't notice it until, like, I started just not being in the city a lot. So I was like, damn. Like, this is just. Y' all British. Like y' all England. I don't know.

[Mike]

So do you think you have, like, for your dating preference then? Do you. Are you more, you know, more preference to the guys with the Baltimore accents?

[Gene]

I do not like. I do not like Baltimore. I don't like Baltimore. And not to say it like that, but I don't like Baltimore. That act like Baltimore. Like, that act like, like the stereotypical Baltimore.

[Mike]

I feel like that's the thing with people. They don't like the dudes in their city. It's always.

[Pat]

I mean, that's usually you just grow up around it.

[Gene]

You just grow up around it. You just. You're you're in tune with the.

[Pat]

I feel like it's only, you know, I mean, like, it's only gonna be so many of y' all that get together in that city. Like, somebody not gonna get somebody, and you got to lead a state.

[Gene]

You know, some people who are, like, okay with being stagnant in a certain mindset, you know, they're okay with, like, you know, I don't know. I'm not trying to say it like that, but I wouldn't mind dating somebody from my city like, that was from the city. It's like they also had the mindset to be different, not, not, you know.

[Mike]

I got you stereotypical.

[Pat]

Yeah, I get it. I get it. Just keep, keep striving for that.

[Gene]

Oh, yeah. Thank you.

[Mike]

All right. You have a good one.

[Gene]

I don't have to strive anymore, but yeah. Thank you.

[Pat]

Are you in a relationship?

[Gene]

Yes, I am, bro.

[Pat]

That's what I said. Everybody that give relationship advice be in a relationship. I gotta stop doing that.

[Mike]

That's the best way to be in a relationship.

[Gene]

I mean, I feel like that's advice that I, I learned, like, you know, based on my experience. That's something I can look back and be like, you know, this is what you need to not do.

[Mike]

That's who you get the best advice from.

[Pat]

Stay with people in your city and do nothing, bro.

[Gene]

I thought you was cool. Like, no, you still cool. But I thought you was cooling at this call.

[Pat]

I was.

[Mike]

Nah, nah. This is how. This is the real path. Don't worry. You have a good one.

[Gene]

No. All right. Yeah, y' all have a good one.

[Mike]

Appreciate you.

[Gene]

You.

[Pat]

You got anything?

[Mike]

I was gonna say, you got anything to shout out?

[Gene]

Shout out to me.

[Mike]

I just said, all right, you have a good one. This episode is brought to you by Amazon Prime. From streaming to shopping. Prime helps you get more out of your passions. So whether you're a fan of true crime or prefer a nail biting novel from time to time, with services like Prime Video, Amazon Music, and fast free delivery, prime makes it easy to get more out of whatever you're into or getting into. Visit Amazon.comprime to learn more. Craftsman days are here at Lowe's with.

[Gene]

Big savings on the tools you need.

[Mike]

Save $100 on the Craftsman V26 Tool Power Tool Combo Kit now at $199 no matter what the project is. Craftsman's high quality, high performance products empower you to build on. Stop by your nearest Lowe's store and check out the full line of Craftsman tools today, valid through 618 while supplies last selection varies by location. Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile. I don't know if you knew this.

[Pat]

But anyone can get the same Premium Wireless for $15 a month plan that I've been enjoying.

[Mike]

It's not just for celebrities.

[Pat]

So do like I did and have one of your assistant's assistants switch you.

[Mike]

To Mint Mobile today. I'm told it's super easy to [e-mail].

[Gene]

Switch upfront payment of $45 for 3 month plan equivalent to 15 per month required intro rate first 3 months only. Then full price plan options available. Taxes and fees, extra fee. Full [e-mail].

[Pat]

Yo, yo, what's the deal?

[Gene]

Yo, what's good, bro?

[Pat]

Welcome to Crash.

[Mike]

Chilling, chilling, chilling, chilling.

[Gene]

Yo, what's good, bro? What's up? What's up?

[Pat]

What dude, where you from?

[Gene]

From New York, my guy.

[Pat]

I can tell, I knew something, you know, I mean, you're a lingo.

[Gene]

Yeah, bro, I'm going to the Yankees game today too.

[Pat]

Oh, you're real. You're a real New Yorker.

[Gene]

Facts.

[Mike]

All right, I got a question for you. What opinion do you have about a pro athlete that has nothing to do with their sport?

[Gene]

Yeah, I think, I think Paul George got the best hairline in sports history, to be honest with you. No diddy, no glazing.

[Pat]

Yeah, it's like, it's, it's, it's borderline there.

[Mike]

So what?

[Pat]

I feel you what? So who else?

[Mike]

No, I was gonna say what do you think is good about Paul George's like hairline? Like what, like what pacific parts?

[Gene]

I mean like if you look at the measurements, bro, just looking at him, I feel like he got like a three finger line forehead. Like, you know, it's not too far apart from his eyebrows. And so, you know, that's why I say that. I mean, I don't know if y' all remember back in 2018 when he was in three point contest, my man was shooting bricks. But he had the best hairline on the court, so who cares?

[Mike]

So in the, in the hairline off, who do you got? Paul George or Jalen Rose?

[Gene]

Jalen Rose. Damn. I mean he got Jayla Rose got, scored 81 points on. So I'll take Paul George.

[Mike]

But Dame, Dame Lillard hit a buzzer beater and then did the bye bye thing to Paul George.

[Gene]

Oh yeah, I forgot about that. Yeah, I put dama too.

[Mike]

All right, bro, you have a good one.

[Gene]

All right, bro, you too.

[Mike]

Love you guys. Yo, how's it going? Pretty good. Yourself?

[Gene]

I'm Great.

[Mike]

All right, I got a question for you. What's something about. What's something about Americans that annoys you? No. Probably trash anyway, but go ahead.

[Gene]

She'll probably trash, bro. One thing Americans bother me is their big ass trucks, bro. Like, big ass trucks. And you living in a city like, full disclaimer if somebody got a big ass truck like one of them Dodge whatever or Toyota Tacomas. And you not living in like, a rural area, bro. Get your small dick ass off the road, bro. Go trade your car in for something else. Go get you a Nissan Altima, bro. Like, what are we doing here? I'm part of these big ass trucks.

[Mike]

What type of car you drive?

[Gene]

Honda Accord.

[Mike]

There's nothing wrong a Honda. It's just the way you said. You said it. You said Honda with like zero confidence.

[Pat]

I don't know. You just like something very off putting about, like the first thing offense you could think of someone is like, their dick is small.

[Gene]

Man.

[Mike]

I don't know where my mind goes.

[Pat]

But that's where it goes.

[Mike]

I don't know, bro.

[Pat]

Like, crazy doesn't confirm anything for me.

[Mike]

Hey, y' all live in Milwaukee, y' all.

[Gene]

Y' all know these trucks have no. No place being in Milwaukee. Like, what are we doing here?

[Mike]

I make it has a lot of sense. You always need that friend with the truck too.

[Pat]

Is these. Yeah. That want to drive 60 in the 60. Like, get the out of here, man.

[Mike]

Yeah, I know.

[Pat]

I know what type of dudes you is. You doing 50? How long you doing? 57 and a 55. Feeling dangerous, little man?

[Gene]

I know what type of dude you is, Pat.

[Pat]

What? What? What?

[Gene]

You the type to be swerving in a 25.

[Pat]

25.

[Mike]

You type to be.

[Gene]

You the type to be on your.

[Pat]

Phone looking at reals. Y' all heard that.

[Mike]

You heard that?

[Pat]

He just called me a.

[Mike]

Yo.

[Pat]

Yo, you heard it, right?

[Mike]

No, I didn't hear it.

[Pat]

Swerving it at 25. Just call me a negative. I know what you're trying to say, bro.

[Gene]

Audio listeners never, never have that victim mindset. We listen and we work.

[Pat]

No, that's actually a good comeback, bro, especially for a racist dude.

[Mike]

All right, y' all going, man.

[Pat]

Appreciate y' all.

[Mike]

I almost did the same thing again.

[Pat]

What?

[Mike]

I almost tried to get more out of a conversation. I took the victory that time.

[Pat]

These all like, yeah, these are all good pot.

[Mike]

Yeah. I don't think we have like a viral. Viral one, but that's fine.

[Pat]

That one felt like it was.

[Mike]

Hello, yo, welcome to Crazy's podcast.

[Gene]

What's going on?

[Mike]

Yeah, I got a question for you. What opinion do you have about a pro athlete that has nothing to do with their sport?

[Gene]

Like, you gotta hear me out. You gotta hear me out now, man. Pro athlete, men and women need to just stop being so attractive. Like, need to stop being so handsome. It don't make sense to me, man.

[Mike]

What do you want to start with this one?

[Pat]

Accusations. Like, just. Just tell us what you.

[Mike]

Yeah, what's an example?

[Gene]

Yeah, all right, all right. Example. Example. Like, let's say King James. Exactly.

[Mike]

Anybody but LeBron. Anybody. LeBron. I'm tired of LeBron stuff. Anybody but LeBron.

[Pat]

No LeBron.

[Mike]

They're gonna think we're trolling.

[Gene]

All right, we're gonna talk about Tyreek Hill.

[Pat]

Okay?

[Mike]

Okay.

[Pat]

Different.

[Gene]

There is no reason.

[Pat]

The only people.

[Gene]

The only thing people know about him is he fast, and he looked like he's from Florida. I don't even know what his real name. I don't even know what he really like. Any highlights from him or anything. I don't know nothing about him. But every. Every girl on my built. Talking about how good that look.

[Pat]

Sound like you is.

[Mike]

All right. Who else? I'm just trying. Trying to get this. A gaze of where you're coming from with this, like, what annoys you about them being handsome or. Or beautiful?

[Gene]

Like, they got too much going on for them in their life. Like, you already came out, you know, talented, fast, and. And then if that don't work out for you, you can go down, be an actor or something. I'm still trying to be talented in one thing, you know what I'm saying? You know, I'm not here struggling.

[Pat]

A lot of bitching and moaning, man.

[Mike]

All right, what do you got to say to. What do you. What's your message to Tyreek Hill, then?

[Gene]

My message for Tyree? Kill. If you're able to get a reverse face transplant, do that. Be ugly or something. See if they still with you.

[Mike]

So you think. You personally think that Tyree killed. You agree with the woman on Facebook, then, right, is what you're saying?

[Gene]

No, I don't know. I don't know about all that.

[Pat]

I don't know. Like, if you're saying it to, like, lower. Are you saying it to lower the competition so there's more women for you, or are you attracted to Tyreek Hill?

[Gene]

How about neither? I don't like either of those answers right there, actually.

[Pat]

I mean, I'm really the only two.

[Mike]

Yeah, that's really the only two. Yeah.

[Gene]

Nah, I'm just I'm tired of. Tired of having. I'm tired of having advantage over the regular in life.

[Mike]

Yeah. I feel like looks have nothing to do with that.

[Gene]

Don't.

[Pat]

Okay.

[Gene]

You should just be able to be okay.

[Mike]

You know what I'm saying?

[Pat]

What you do, what you do. Let's. Let's get to the part that what you do. Like, how tall are you? Like, where you work at? Like.

[Gene]

I'm 5 11, 220, and I work at UPS.

[Pat]

Okay. You got a girlfriend?

[Gene]

Yeah, I've been with her about three years now.

[Mike]

So why is this your concern?

[Gene]

Because I just feel like regular in the world. I'm one of the regular in the world.

[Mike]

I know, I know. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. I. I think his girl likes Tyree Kill.

[Gene]

Oh, come on, man. That's not even what it is.

[Mike]

Yeah, that's what it is. Yeah, you about to cry. What'd she say to you? And why you got us on speaker or echo?

[Gene]

No, no, no, my cuz, I'm at work right now. Be real. I'm in a truck.

[Mike]

Oh, nice.

[Pat]

She cheating on you.

[Mike]

With Tyreek Hill?

[Pat]

Why you on the long drives?

[Gene]

Yeah, in that situation, I ain't about to. He got. He got it. Y' all can hear me?

[Mike]

Yes, sir. Welcome to Crassomies Podcast.

[Gene]

What's up? What's up? How y' all feeling today?

[Mike]

Pretty good. Pretty good. I got a question for you. What?

[Gene]

What's the question?

[Mike]

What's something your family does that may be weird to others now?

[Gene]

Please, this for entertainment purposes. Please don't judge my family. We've changed now. Well, some of us. Not all of us, as you'll learn in the story. We smoked crack together before, huh? Yeah, it was. It was really a one or two time thing, like, as a group.

[Pat]

Okay, what you mean by family? Like, what family members was there?

[Gene]

My siblings. All right, so we were raised by our grandparents. So, like, we basically. I'm not gonna say we have free, like, will to do whatever we want, but as long as you know. Yes, sir, no, sir. Yes, ma' am. No, ma' am. They really care what we did. They. They really mind their business, watch their shows. We really had the basement to ourselves. So no one was really, you know, down there really watching us as we were younger and we had a, you know, had an older brother named Daryl, and. And he's the one that was, you know, selling it. Selling the drugs. I'm so crazy right now. Wow. After all the. That they've done to me in life. Hell yeah. We cool now, but you know it.

[Mike]

Okay. All right, go ahead.

[Gene]

All right. So basically, so. So me and my sister, we, we too. If you hit my baby in the back, don't mind that we, we two years apart. So I was 11 at the time. She was 13. Now Daryl, he was 20. 22. Yeah. I don't know how old Tanya. Well, she was two years younger than him, so she's 20. So. All right, so it's 11, 13, 20 and 22. Now we were, we should have been, you know, out of our grandparents house. Our brother and sister was supposed to raise us, but clearly they were.

[Mike]

Family like that.

[Gene]

All right. All right, so. So this is, this is how I went. This how it went down. So Daryl, like I said, he was doing what he was doing. He left some of the stuff in the house. Now me and my sister was downstairs. I ain't gonna say her name because you know, that's my close sister. So. So we was, we was downstairs in the basement and we found this up. Now I'm like, do you know what this is? And she's like, yeah, I know what that is. So I'm like, what do you want to do with it? And she's like, like, feel me. Like, I feel like it's game. Like we basically. I don't know how to do it.

[Pat]

Wait, wait, wait, you're. Wait, wait, wait, slow down, dog. Your lines are crazy though. Do you know what this is? Why are you talking like that?

[Gene]

Because, listen, listen, I didn't know that you smoke crack per se. You know, I didn't know that like, because I've seen people smoke cigarettes and stuff like that. I didn't know what a rock. I didn't really know how to use it. You feel me? Like I'm 11 years old. I shouldn't be knowing what it is. But my sister, sister, she said she saw Tanya do it. That's our oldest sister. So that's when I found out why tying wasn't really coming around because she was strung out already. So she said, I know how to do it. Boom, boom, boom. She went into the stuff, got a little pipe and, and, and, and we was up. Now when I say up, up, like crib. Acs came to our crib. We have burn marks on our clothes.

[Mike]

The one thing I want to know is that how. What was the group chat for? To get that one crack smoking session. Like walk me through that day.

[Pat]

Let's get some comedy.

[Gene]

It wasn't, it wasn't no group. It was, we were in the Basement. We lived with our grandparents. They wasn't taking us out, nothing like that. Basement was us. You film. We was just down there being nosy. Now, Daryl, he lived in the basement. His. His bedroom was in the basement, and he was going through his thing. Nah, Darryl. Daryl. Cause he did some crazy things for Granny. We ain't gonna talk about that.

[Pat]

He don't sound like a good man.

[Gene]

He's the reason why his siblings smoke crack. He's a horrible man.

[Pat]

Oh, my gosh. Let's focus on Daryl here. I feel like this is a real.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

What's up with Daryl? Like, explain this, dude.

[Gene]

All right, so, well, Daryl's my older brother. You feel me? Like, I. I always wanted. Like, I have a father growing up, but my grandfather definitely wasn't, you know, going outside to play catch with me. So, you know, I thought Daryl would be that for me, but he was all about his money. He didn't really give a. About us. So feel me? Like, he was, you know, focused on his bread. And then I thought, you know, maybe, like, you know, because he had a kid around, you know, the. When I was 11, he had his first kid. So, you know, I thought maybe I could chill with my nephew. He was like, his kid, too. So it's just like, you know, if you're not gonna take care of your own, you damn sure not taking care of your siblings. It's you. And then I found out that you. The reason that Tanya was smoking instead of crack. Cause you gave it to her. That's a little crazy.

[Mike]

Okay, but you smoked the crack, too.

[Gene]

I was young and dumb. It's different. Kanye was up, and she knew what it was.

[Pat]

Okay, okay, last question. What's your last message to Daryl?

[Gene]

Daryl, if you ever come to a family function, just know it's up in the stuff for you. You know, we ain't even gonna fight like we used to do back in the day. It's nothing. But when I catch you. You feel me? So, you know, it's gonna be. It's gonna be candles. Candles and balloons for you. And it ain't a birthday celebration. Oh, damn. This just sound like a Tyler Perry movie. Yo, yo, y' all can hear me?

[Mike]

Yes, sir. What up?

[Gene]

What's up with it?

[Mike]

I got a question for you. What's something about America?

[Gene]

What you say?

[Mike]

I got a question for you. What's something about Americans that annoys you?

[Gene]

Wait, who the is this? Oh, that's Mike.

[Mike]

What the. You want to answer the question?

[Gene]

Yeah. So hold on. All right, say it again.

[Pat]

How you treat your ass.

[Mike]

You heard the question, bro.

[Pat]

Yeah, fight back.

[Gene]

All right? But, yeah, I feel like these got too many rights, and. And they. They require too much.

[Pat]

What? Say it again.

[Gene]

Got too many rights. We need to take a pa. Some china for.

[Pat]

Wait, say one more time.

[Mike]

He said got too many rights.

[Pat]

Who got too many rights?

[Gene]

Just in general.

[Pat]

Like, black, not.

[Gene]

But like, everybody.

[Pat]

Oh, okay. You gotta. Come on, bro.

[Gene]

You got out here being podcasts, and y' all need to be productive members of society.

[Pat]

Oh, okay. Good. Okay. I see.

[Mike]

So you think so. You know, the question was, what's something about Americans that annoys you?

[Gene]

Yeah, every. Every American want to be a content creator or some like.

[Pat]

There you go.

[Gene]

Too busy too. Too used to being broken.

[Pat]

Yeah. Sound it out, big dog.

[Mike]

So what do you do for a living?

[Gene]

Yeah, I'm a welder.

[Mike]

Okay. Okay. Respectable. Respectable is you want people to go more into, like, trades.

[Gene]

No, not even that. Just like you got out here. Oh, I'm. I'm. I'm taking a year off of school so I can figure out myself. What the do you mean, figure out yourself? Or is this. It's this. So. So. So used to being just. Just, like I said, like, broke. Like, they don't want to do. They feel like they gonna just come and then another thing feel like, all right, oh, wait, hold on. Johnny's about give me fire. I'm about to be a broke ass. But yeah, yeah, like, oh, it's my right. I don't gotta do that. I got. It's my right to free speech and all this other. Like, some. Like, we need to have something. If you say, say dumbass, your ass need to go to jail at least 30 years.

[Pat]

30 years? Hell yeah.

[Gene]

Need to pay for. They like. But they up.

[Mike]

Do some time. I rather have the first speech, Rico.

[Gene]

Yeah. Hell, yeah.

[Mike]

All right. You have a good one, bro.

[Gene]

Hey, y. All right.

[Pat]

No. No what?

[Gene]

No Pat ass hom me last time, though.

[Pat]

What happened?

[Gene]

Man? It was s. I said s. Mike ass be moaning when he laughed. It's some sticks. And then Patrick got the horn. Me and I couldn't really speak because I was at work and I couldn't hear y' all, and I. I watched the clip back. I was like, damn, Pat is.

[Mike]

So why'd you have the energy for me and not Pat when you got on the phone?

[Gene]

Oh, no, because I. I could. I can't really hear y' all.

[Pat]

What? But no, no, no. Okay, so what. Why you say that about Mike? I. I don't know why I never Asked why?

[Gene]

Because you be doing it. It's like. It's only when Pat say jokes, though. It's like pep tickling. That good.

[Mike]

All right. What?

[Pat]

All right.

[Gene]

I'll let y' all boys, though. I gotta get back to work.

[Mike]

Oh, my God.

[Pat]

Crazy. I ain't never been cooked like that.

[Mike]

He got. I'll give that one.

[Pat]

He cooked us. Boy tweeted a week.

[Mike]

Okay, let's do it.

[Pat]

Okay. Somebody asked a question. Pulled pork got pork in it. Somebody responded, no, you good. They already pulled the pork out. He responded, I bet. That's what I was thinking. I can see the confusion a little bit.

[Mike]

Not. No, you can't. Don't defend that.

[Pat]

Hey. Hey, bro, you eating pork? Nah, bro, they pulled that up. Pull it out. Ain't no out in the.

[Mike]

Bro, you act like pulled pork. Like pulp and orange juice. Do you drink orange juice with pulp?

[Pat]

Like low pulp maybe?

[Mike]

I like. I like pulp in my orange juice. It's random. I like pulp in my orange juice. Okay, just random thought. Go ahead. My bad.

[Pat]

Oh, my bad. I thought you was about to go to a.

[Mike]

No, no, no, no. That was it. You know, sometimes you just have a statement to make. You just want it to be known in case it ever comes up again.

[Pat]

I just switched to orange juice, too, like, recently.

[Mike]

From what?

[Pat]

From apple juice. I used to be a Big Apple.

[Mike]

You were apple juice drinker. Weird ass.

[Pat]

You ever drank apple juice with poke? But it's like, it has. No, no, no. It's unfiltered apple juice. It's good. Oh, it's good.

[Mike]

I'm good.

[Pat]

Yeah, I'm straight.

[Mike]

Go ahead.

[Pat]

All right. I just got off the apple juice in the spirit, since it is April 1st. Happy. First of all. First of all, first of all, Happy birthday to you, April Fools. Okay.

[Mike]

Go ahead.

[Pat]

It says, babe, I have something. Okay. Sorry, babe, I have to tell you something. The dude responds, what? She says, I cheated on you once. He said, me too. She responded, April 1, laughing emoji. And he responded, July 18.

[Mike]

That'd be so crazy.

[Pat]

No, you started a business. He said, oh, I ain't. She too far after you.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

That was crazy. Back to back. Tweet of the week, two bangers, back to back.

[Mike]

Okay, ready?

[Pat]

Oh, yeah. You go die last night because I want you to laugh that hard, so I'm trying to die down your laugh.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Pat]

Come on, Pat. Don't ruin this clip. All right? Kawhi probably can't even send beat off is because the hands swallow the meat.

[Mike]

That's just crazy. Like, observation. Like, bro, I. I think the fandom with NBA players has gone too far. Bro.

[Pat]

What. What is going on? Although he doing deleted the tweet.

[Mike]

Now. That's the worst thing to ever do, right? Is like, you. You tweet something wild, then you realize it that it's wild. But so many people found out already that your wild tweet, and then you delete it after.

[Pat]

I don't get deleting something after 1.3 million.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

It has 1.3 million views. I think I have his pro. I can look up his Twitter right now.

[Mike]

There's sometimes, to me, like, especially when these, like, celebrities, they get caught with, like, their old tweets that they said in the past, right?

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

And say they were like. Say they were racist or whatever they were back then, right?

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

And people find out about it, it goes viral, and then they delete it. At that point, just leave it there.

[Pat]

Listen, I wanna. I want to tell y' all something about me, right? Even when I thought, like, damn, I might, like, have a job where it's public. Like, my social media is public. Like, I think, like, three years before I became an official football coach, college football coach. Like, I always knew I was gonna be a college football coach, I went back and deleted some tweets.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

You know what I mean? Like, and it wasn't even that bad, but it was just still, like, damn, this would be taken out of content.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

In the future. Like, let me just get rid of this. So I don't understand, like, you know, you got a big movie coming out. Let me call my enemies, man. Let me call my ex girlfriend. Listen, listen, listen, listen. You ain't got to tell them I got the car repo. All right? Just keep that between me and you.

[Mike]

Oh, oh. There's a post from Axman Advice, and it says, why does my BF keep going soft? All right? And it reads, every time we switch positions, even if it's immediate, he'll go kind of soft. Sometimes all the way. And sometimes he doesn't even know it.

[Gene]

It.

[Mike]

I've asked him, and he said it's nothing personal and that there's no lack of attraction. It just happens. Of course I trust him. But when it's happening every time, it doesn't exactly go unnoticed.

[Pat]

So the thing I don't like about this is for everybody, right? When people complain about certain things about sex, it don't make sense because you're basically telling on yourself.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Because you're saying that your man gets soft at some point, and you still haven't fixed it. So you saying like, okay, in the, in the position I could see like, okay, every time we having sex, he gets off. But you saying like, in between. So instead of doing something to your man in between, you came to Reddit to write a paragraph.

[Mike]

So my point was not even like, thinking about, like, whatever she was talking about. Is there coming. Like, does that relationship last if your girl is going on a Reddit and posting stuff like that?

[Pat]

No, that over with. I feel like even, even if I was like, like, let's say I did something like if, if you was ever a dude and like you went soft or something.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And like your girls at like a, a game night and she told everybody.

[Mike]

Yeah. Like that.

[Pat]

I feel like that's grounds for breakups.

[Mike]

Yeah. Yeah. I'm not even saying you would think.

[Pat]

That'S your boyfriend's deepest, darkest secret. You know what I mean? And you just put that out there.

[Mike]

Yeah. I'm not even saying it from a perspective of leaving the kids. I'm not even saying that from a perspective of him finding out. I'm just saying if she's able to, to post something like that already, do you think it's like the attraction is kind of like, already lost or. Because I don't. I never think that people really like, when people post stuff like that, even they're not known. There's. There's never really a way for them looking at, for an answer on the Internet that their people in their personal lives can't answer.

[Pat]

But I kind of get that in a sense, though, just to be on her side a little bit more, I get that in a sense of she can't tell anybody. The same thing I just explained. Yeah, yeah, she can't tell anybody.

[Mike]

No, that makes sense.

[Pat]

And this is the only way without.

[Mike]

Not maybe getting back to him, because.

[Pat]

She don't know that. And maybe a woman would come along and be like, oh, you got to do such and such and such. A man is not answering that question or. Yeah, a man can answer that question too. I don't say it sounds like a blood flow problem. Put your feet up in there. All right, here's another one. My fiance is into some things that I'm not. Golden showers, humiliation, degration, and anal. Those three think the more hardcore end of the spectrum. He obviously watches porn with them in it. But today I realized the only porn he watches is that. Is that normal for men? Because I thought you would be watching a range of things, but it's all very hardcore things under those Kinks. The kind of hardcore that makes me think he doesn't like women. That's crazy.

[Mike]

No, I. Oh, man. Again, I'm not king shaming, but I just feel like there are some, like there's gateways. There are gateways. There's like, there's some people that are really into like the, the hardcore. And especially when you're like a guy and you usually have like the strength of advantage and stuff like that. So is that something like you're pushing more? It's a little bit more. It seems a little more aggressive than it's. The girl is the one asking for those things.

[Pat]

Yeah. And like I feel like introducing someone to that world is. Why not get someone that's already on that.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah.

[Pat]

You're just like, you took her and you basically tricked her for like six months with regular sex. And then next thing you know, you're trying to tie her up. It's getting weird. Like that's like those kinks are for like red pill community. Like when they get horny. That's just. Yeah, but the thing, the thing is you never know. You never know. Like there's been times I've been with. With women and like it goes a certain way and then like the, the fifth or sixth time you have sex with them, they'll say some. That you might not be into you.

[Mike]

But.

[Pat]

Yeah, I mean, but she thinks that he don't even like women at this point. So like that's what I'm saying. Like at some point, like she didn't know that's how the reason she making a post about this is she had to like him and he had to show something before that. He didn't just come out the blue with that.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Or she would have said no right away. She must love him like he, he. He got her to love her first. And then just one day she'd be like, baby, I'm so in love with you. He like, you in love with me. Okay, I'll be back. And he came back on with a gib mask. That is crazy.

[Mike]

Show me how much you love me.

[Pat]

They're engaged to be married. You know, that's her fiance. Oh, that was her. You put that ring on the funeral with the get mask on.

[Mike]

But I feel like if your kinks aren't met because everybody has their own kinks. Right. Lesser some are. Are more extreme than the others thing.

[Pat]

That ties you together, then y' all probably shouldn't be together. Just be like, damn, we not together because she don't suck my toes Got it.

[Mike]

So it should be an added. It should be always like the. An added to the love.

[Pat]

We really, really like each other.

[Mike]

Yeah. And yeah, cuz some people, she does that special thing.

[Pat]

Cuz some, some people when they get in a relationship and they'd be like, oh, you're mine forever. Yeah, they're willing to go a little bit further than they would someone ain't casually hooking up with. You know what I mean?

[Mike]

Yeah, I guess that is true. Yeah.

[Pat]

They have to be unlocked. Hey, I don't think they should just be presented like.

[Mike]

But so you're not just letting every girl choke me.

[Pat]

I got, I got smacked one time.

[Mike]

Yes. Smacked.

[Pat]

Yeah. That cool, man.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Pat]

No, no, it was not cool. I was seeing stars, bro.

[Mike]

She knocked this.

[Pat]

Nah, no comment.

[Mike]

N pack. Come with a black eye.

[Pat]

Glasses for you over there. Dizzy. When we going to start having sex?

[Mike]

God damn.

[Pat]

That's the third hook. Do I put my pants on or what? You fully dressed getting punched on.

[Mike]

No, the hard coordinates starting before clothes come off is crazy.

[Pat]

That's why I don't get the. It's like, oh, I'mma I' ma come find you in public and beat your ass.

[Mike]

No. Okay, there is king shaming then.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Because there is A levels like bro, it's like if you want all this kinky be before like our clothes come comes off is like, bro, what are we doing here?

[Pat]

Like imagine role playing with three girls and they jump you as they jump you as foreplay. I've been, I've had handcuffs on me and been paranoid. No, no handcuffs.

[Mike]

No handcuffs. I've never done that.

[Pat]

I'm good. I don't care who the it is.

[Mike]

Around.

[Pat]

I'll be back. Like put me in.

[Mike]

No, I'm claustrophobic public undercover. So I'm not doing no handcuffs.

[Pat]

So crazy. Cuz like if they even play around, like they gonna keep me locked now I gotta.

[Mike]

Because I think your reflexes, your reflexes like get like more alerted when you feel like you're constricted.

[Pat]

I mean I could say like some people if you like never been in cuffs, which I never have.

[Mike]

I have.

[Pat]

Am I capping?

[Mike]

I'm not, not sexually like legit cuffs. Like legit.

[Pat]

I'm saying like, okay, even if I.

[Mike]

Was, but nothing that I knew I was like going to jail for jail for.

[Pat]

That's what I'm saying. Yeah, like I never been in like cuffs where like oh, damn. I don't know what's gonna happen. I'm restricted for the next couple hours.

[Mike]

Yeah, you Know.

[Pat]

Yeah. You know, for that long. Will be crazy. Tend to see. Like, because they got to do something sexy with the key, right?

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

You don't.

[Mike]

See you throw the key out my window is not sexy.

[Pat]

Like, I feel like.

[Mike]

Like you're never getting out, baby.

[Pat]

Got to be a little promiscuous. You know what I mean? Like, so you don't just. It's not sexy that put a key in plain sight. I still see the key. It's sexy to hide the key. Now I'm actually nervous because it was in your bra, but now your bra off.

[Mike]

Where the key at?

[Pat]

I don't know. What?

[Mike]

No, you have cuss on. You feel like you turn into like a jiu jitsu master. I'm gonna keep myself safe at all times.

[Pat]

You talking about where my key at? She talking about. I think it's in my husband filling my husband's shoe. Oh.

[Mike]

You hear the key cackling and imagine that.

[Pat]

Like, imagine a dude sleeping with another man's wife and he was playing like some handcuff game and he bust in while doing the handcuff.

[Mike]

I never.

[Pat]

I don't think I. I don't think.

[Mike]

I've ever felt comfortable going to like a girl's like, house.

[Pat]

Never.

[Mike]

Some of these guys do really feel comfortable, like sleeping over.

[Pat]

Like addicted, bro.

[Mike]

You think that's a sex addiction?

[Pat]

It's a sex edition. But there's some people, you know, not speaking on anybody specifically, but there's some people that go to their rival neighborhoods because it's a girl over there that they like. Yeah, they risk. They, they. They basically literally risking their life to have sex.

[Mike]

Just a tweet. I your for that poor.

[Gene]

Or.

[Pat]

Or something like that. Just like you're playing some dangerous.

[Mike]

Yeah, bro. Yeah. Regardless. Whether even in the hood or not. I think regardless girls going over guys house, guys going to girls. Especially if it's the first meetup and type of be careful.

[Pat]

Ain't nobody listening to this pod that's like that.

[Mike]

You know, there's some people here, some people that call in, huh?

[Pat]

No, not everybody. No.

[Mike]

They know some good people that listen especially. Actually, the people that I really worry about that are callers is the ones that don't make the pod. If y' all hear some of these people's stories, that's why y' all be.

[Pat]

Killing me with that. Oh, they. They detectives. They snitching and bro, them little lame ass stories we'd be exposing like, good riddance. Like, but the. We be saving people from like, y' all Sharing other podcasts. That's not doing that. So don't, don't come over here with that facts. Okay, so I was thinking this and I remember my life being, let's say, not balanced. Right. And I mean like by looks and how I'm perceived.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And I realized how dumb I looked that my life didn't match. And I always want my life to match. And what I mean by that is I saw somebody yesterday pull up in like a 2006 Honda. Honda, right. And then they hopped out with Rick Owen shoes and the Cuban link chain. Now, okay, them things could be gifts, right? But I would say that 06 Honda look, look pretty bad.

[Mike]

You think so?

[Pat]

Yeah, it looks pretty bad.

[Mike]

Shout out to all my people driving all six.

[Pat]

No, no, but I'm saying with this dynamic.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

If. Let's say the chain was fake.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

The Rick Owens weren't. Weren't fake.

[Mike]

You don't know that though. No, he could have fake. Fake Rick Owens. I wouldn't really know. I'm not, I'm not like a Rick Owen expector.

[Pat]

I feel like even those fake Rick Owens. Yeah, they might be up there with the 800. 800.

[Mike]

But I know what you mean though.

[Pat]

You know what I mean? Like, you ever see like, bro, you gotta sell, like, did some. I remember my cousin was like asking me for and like, and I know how much shitty got and I just like, you still got such and such like, bro, if you haven't like exhausted all your resources before you call me about something financially as another grown man.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

If the first thing I ask you about you haven't done. Nah, nah. Maybe if I like, if down the line, like, oh, did you try this? You'd be like, nah, not yet. But okay, you can hold this until you try that. Blah blah, and giving us some money. But if the first thing I say, like, hey, bro, did you try to sell that designer? You got that. Nah, bro, I ain't selling that. Why would I give you $2,000?

[Mike]

Nah, you know, the, the sign that you're truly like, you know, down bad is when you have to sell your system back in the day. Oh, sell your system for cash. Have to sell your Xbox twice. You know, every time that they sell the PS4, bro, it's like, especially back then when you play video games a lot, it's like you have to really let go. But that's also a sign of somebody trying to get the together because you're giving up the thing that you love the most.

[Pat]

That game. That game could be A drug, bro.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

If you pick it up at the wrong time, it's the only thing in the world that is going to take you the same amount of time to complete it. And you try to play it in a faster time. Like dudes really be walking in crib. Like I'm gonna just play one quick 2k game. There's no such thing like that. The games last 25 minutes. 25 minutes is gone. Don't act like you're gonna play this game faster than you played the one when you was relaxing.

[Mike]

I'm at the, I'm at the age now where if I have. Because I don't play video games as much as I did because there's really no video games. I find that interesting. Yeah, I want to start doing GTA rp. But besides the point, I'm the, I'm that age where for like games like Madden and stuff like that I have to play like on three minutes or less and people and sometimes you know, go over friends. I'm like hey bro, let's just pop the Madden in like three minutes. But I don't have time to sit through six minute quarters anymore, bro.

[Pat]

I don't nobody like I be looking and sometimes like, you know, I like to like feel like I'm, I'm very good at defense on video games, like football video games because I feel like I'm a coach, I know what to do, blah blah. So like when I sometimes when I see people scores, it'd be like 57, 54, I'd be like damn, these boys ain't playing no defense. And then I finally start playing people and then I realized like oh, the score is so high, bro. It's 35, 28 at halftime time. Yeah, like we shouldn't even have time to have seven possessions let alone we all we bought like bro, what the is going on?

[Mike]

Because the thing with video games, you can't make it too realistic because it won't be fun.

[Pat]

But I'm more of just like let's play two or three than to play this one long ass game.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

When hat during halftime you found out you only want to play with this team. Whole point is to try the game. You keep beating the same team, bro.

[Mike]

Bro, the worst is like when people have different house rules for their video games too. People be weird like 21 zip is like what was it for for 2k if you're getting blown out by 22, 21.

[Pat]

Yeah, it was 2021. Yeah, yeah, that was like. But that was more of like because People are waiting.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

So if you, like, get 21, then the next person got it. But, yeah, if you go over somebody, if I'm.

[Mike]

I feel like Madden for sure was harder to come back.

[Pat]

You usually not coming back.

[Mike]

Because, Honestly, somebody puts 21 zero, even 35. Zero on you, it's like, they're better than you.

[Pat]

Yeah. But sometimes.

[Mike]

Unless you're purely doing some.

[Pat]

Yeah, sometimes, like, if you. The thing about, like, playing, like, games online, like, if you play a lot, it's going to frustrate you when you drop off and try to come play again. Because you're like, damn, I'm not as good as I used to be. And then you start being online, you're just like, bro, that's. You ain't got no job. That's why.

[Mike]

That's my fear about going back. Playing online games is just like. Because I. I got this boxing game I was pretty good at the first couple days, but then, you know, you get busy, so I'm not able to play as much. Undefeated online. And then come back after, like, two weeks thinking, like, all right, I'm still gonna be pretty good. And it's like a streak of losses. It's like, all right, it's time to hang the gloves up.

[Pat]

But that's a good thing, though. Yeah, that's what you want to get at.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Pat]

You're not good at it anymore, and it's not enjoyable.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

But anyway, you can play video games. People get mad when I say don't play video. That's just a personal preference. I'm talking to all of my ADHD boys out there. Put that down, bro.

[Mike]

Anyway, y' all, this has been crash Dummies. We didn't do anything really special for y' all this episode. But it's fine, though.

[Pat]

But just. Man, I ain't got nothing for you, bro. Yeah, the thing is, it's like.

[Mike]

Like I said, we had something planned, but we'll still do something else planned when we actually have to be gone.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

From the pod. So we can drop it.

[Pat]

Yes. We got that for you. And episode 201 will be really good for you. We got a surprise for you. So 201. And then we also got, like, our. Technically, we're gonna. Probably gonna be going on vacation, but we gonna make sure y' all got one of the best episodes ever.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Like that. We're doing something special for y' all. So it's. It's a lot of different things.

[Mike]

Yeah. We just don't want to save it. We want to save that idea.

[Pat]

So that's what I'm saying. Trust me. We got y' all.

[Mike]

Anyway, make sure you guys subscribe to Patreon, follow us us on all social media platforms and see you guys next time. See you guys next episode. I cannot talk.

[Gene]

Bro.

[Mike]

I can't. I feel like I'm tired today or something. I can't talk today.

[Pat]

This is like, if y' all don't know, like, this is a very. Like, we've been potting for, like, four days straight. We went to Shout Out. Shout out to my boy Thanasis. We went to the NASA's live podcast with. He has some NBA players on there. It was funny. We got to chill a little bit after. That was dope as hell. So shout out to the Gnostics for that.

[Mike]

We scrapped the whole episode.

[Pat]

Literally. We'll probably end up, like, making it, like, a clip later on so y' all can see why we scrapped it. Y' all like people on Patreon. I like it. But y' all see why we also. So we got a lot of coming your way.

[Mike]

Yeah. Anyway, peace.