What’s Ruining Our Society? - Episode 218

Summary

Crash Dummies Podcast | Episode 218: “What’s Ruining Our Society?”

Release Date: August 6, 2025
Hosts: Patrick Johnson & Michael “Mike” Esiobu

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Episode Overview

In episode 218, Pat and Mike invite both recurring guests and callers to play games, share wild work stories, and, most importantly, debate and vent about what’s ruining society. This episode’s signature blend of dark humor, social critique, and unscripted listener interactions brings out topics ranging from OnlyFans and reckless youth culture to questionable personal hygiene and public freakiness. Strap in—this episode is packed with rants, outrageous stories, and hot takes from the whole CDP orbit.

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Key Sections & Highlights

1. Merch Stories & Sizing Drama

• [00:09] Merch plug & wild DM story
  • Patrick shares a hilarious, uncomfortable DM about the Crash Dummies Podcast (CDP) shirt, where an older lady proposes a “chew this pussy” alternate meaning for CDP. Everyone roasts and retells the escalation.
    • Quote: “She lured me into it... She had the peach and the eggplant emoji.” — Patrick [01:29]
• [02:44] The Great Sizing Debate
  • Jokes fly about merch not being available in 5XL. Both hosts riff on whether it’s “crazy” to even ask, landing on a sweet spot at 3XL; 5XL is roasted hard.
    • Quote: “We’re never making a shirt that big.” — Patrick [02:57]
    • Quote: “You got this in 5 patties?” — Patrick [04:54]

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2. Game: "Worst Things to Say to Your Girl in Labor"

• [05:00-14:10]
  • The crew blind-ranks the (fictional) most offensive things to say to your partner during childbirth. The segment is laced with comedy, with sideline debates about men’s place at labor, fantasy football priorities, and the difference between oblivious vs. malicious disrespect.
  • Notable ranks:
    • “Babe, you’re being kind of dramatic. It can’t hurt that bad.” – universally top 3 worst
    • “My ex didn’t scream like that when she gave birth.” – everyone’s #1 worst
    • “Can you keep it down? I’m trying to update my fantasy football lineup.” – deeply offensive, but amusingly relatable in the fantasy football context.
    • “Do you think the baby will mess up your body for good?” – worst thing overall.
    • Quote: “Telling a woman about her body is crazy.” — Patrick [07:07]
    • Quote: “She might legit shoot the kid at you.” — Patrick [10:36]

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3. Society Is Broken! Listener Call-ins

a. Wildest Work Stories

• [27:46–41:47]
  • Callers recount work stories ranging from Target gate-hopping thieves (who stole Apple products & a PS5), to getting head at work during a death notification, to fast-food employees taking joints as “tips.”
    • Quote: “I was preoccupied… the family got the info like two hours late.” — Caller [31:45]
    • Quote: “That man is dying, all I hear is Pat screaming in my ear!” — Hospital pharmacy caller [41:07]
  • The hosts riff on these confessions, often breaking out in disbelief.

b. “What’s Ruining Society?”

• [36:19–58:17]
  • Recurring themes:
    • The youth (“Y N’s”): Disrespectful, reckless, ignoring old heads.
      • Quote: “Take that shit off your head right now before I take off my belt. I’m tired of it.” — Caller [44:16]
    • “Love isn’t real.” – Caller rants that modern love is fake & only lasts until something bad happens.
      • Quote: “Love is a figment of your imagination. It’s there for a second, gone tomorrow.” — Caller [38:04]
    • OnlyFans: Killing traditional free porn and street-level “hustle.”
      • Quote: “OnlyFans is ruining society, and it’s messing up the competitiveness of regular porn.” — Caller [47:34]
    • Scooters left everywhere, white work vans, people who always ‘already know’ things, and, jokily, “Black people—nah, not really.”
    • Overbearing Cowboys’ owner Jerry Jones:
      • Quote: “He pretty much a slave master…pay the what they worth, bro!” — Roy [55:05]

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4. Cultural Commentary & Celebrity Fallout

The Shannon Sharpe Section

• [18:49–26:54]
  • Shannon Sharpe’s recent controversy and firing from ESPN are dissected; the guys reflect on how image, sex, and scandal can derail a career, especially for those who preach discipline.
    • Quote: “It’s interesting, this is truly showing that being lustful can cost you your job sometimes.” — Mike [19:12]
    • Quote: “I feel like [Sharpe] lost a whole avenue for money… Now I feel like people aren’t going to him, because he a freak too.” — Patrick [22:13]
  • Also discusses how losing ESPN means losing built-in audiences and the difference between TV and podcast money.

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5. Twitter of the Week & Rapid-fire Jokes

• [58:49–64:50]
  • The crew shares tweets on everything from crazy sex and relationships to the modern epidemic of unmade beds.
  • Roasts and social critiques blend into a general riff on what’s wrong with dating, men’s fashion (“Stop wearing big shirts with tight pants and big shoes.”), and modern masculinity.

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6. Freak Meter: Sex Toys, Hygiene, and Unmanly Deeds

• [77:11–79:55+]
  • Extended, comedic discussion of sex toys for men and why affection for hyperrealistic dolls is a “gateway to more weird shit.”
    • “We need to get rid of all the freaks…start randomly chopping off dicks.” – Patrick [79:38]
  • Observes that washing hands remains optional for too many:
    • “The line to the sinks is never full.” — Patrick [67:20]
    • Mike becomes a “fist bumper” now in public to avoid germs [67:50]

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Notable Quotes (with Attribution and Timestamps)

• “She lured me into it...She had the peach and the eggplant emoji.” — Patrick [01:29]
• "We're never making a shirt that big." — Patrick [02:57]
• “Telling a woman about her body is crazy.” — Patrick [07:07]
• “She might legit shoot the kid at you.” — Patrick [10:36]
• “OnlyFans is ruining society, and it’s messing up the competitiveness of regular porn.” — Caller [47:34]
• “Love is a figment of your imagination. It’s there for a second, gone tomorrow.” — Caller [38:04]
• "Take that shit off your head right now before I take off my belt. I’m tired of it." — Caller from South Carolina [44:16]
• “He pretty much a slave master…pay the what they worth, bro!” — Roy [55:05]
• “We need to just start randomly chopping off dicks.” — Patrick [79:38]
• “The line to the sinks is never full.” — Patrick [67:20]

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Listener Participation & Wrap-Up

• Throughout, callers are encouraged to share both confessional and comedic takes, making community engagement the episode’s core.
• Hosts interact with YouTube comments at the end, debating over-correction for their male-heavy audience and why they “seem a little girly sometimes.”
• Final words focus on supporting the pod—buying merch, joining the Patreon—and the promise to keep the community involved.

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Overall Tone & Style

Pat and Mike deliver a rowdy, unfiltered conversational style. The episode swings from roast sessions and absurd scenarios to social commentary and “real talk,” always laced with sly humor and camaraderie among the core group and their audience.

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Timestamps Quick Reference

• [00:09] Merch, CDP meaning gone wild
• [05:00] Worst things to say during labor (game)
• [18:49] Shannon Sharpe, discipline, ESPN
• [27:46] Craziest thing at work? (callers)
• [36:19] What’s ruining society? (callers): love, OnlyFans, the youth
• [41:47] Medical mishaps and embarrassing moments
• [58:49] Twitter of the Week—rapid fire jokes
• [77:11+] Sex toys, public hygiene, fashion, and “unmanliness”
• [80:27] Dick enhancement jokes, going out on a raunchy note

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Perfect For:

If you skipped the ep: You’ll walk away with the hottest (and funniest) takes on what’s wrong with society today, wild work confessions, and a roast-heavy rundown on all things modern manliness, with the classic Crash Dummies Podcast energy.

Transcript

[Patrick]

Hate to start the pod off this way.

[Mike]

No, you don't.

[Caller from South Carolina]

I don't.

[Patrick]

Okay. Obviously, go get your merch.

[Mike]

Merch is out. Yeah.

[Patrick]

Yes.

[Mike]

You know, description link in the description.

[Patrick]

Go get your merch. About this shirt that I have on, I got a very unique story about this shirt.

[Roy]

No.

[Patrick]

I posted on the Crash on Me story and my personal story. Me and a Crash on me shirt. And I posted the three pictures of the shirts that we have. So I had a. A woman DME and says, I really like the CDP shirt. What does that stand for? And in my head, I'm just like, usually I don't answer questions like this.

[Target Worker]

Yeah.

[Patrick]

But she seemed nice. Like, she. She's an older. She was an older black lady, so she seemed very, very nice. I was like, oh, let me tell her. It stands Crash Dummies Podcast, just in case, you know, you didn't know stuff like that. She was like, oh, do you mind if I change the meaning of CDP when I buy this shirt? I say, you can do whatever you want with the shirt, especially if you buy it and you support the podcast. She's like, okay, how about chew this pussy? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You know, I was like, okay, that was my first time ever reporting a message on Instagram.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Patrick]

I didn't know what to do is like, I couldn't, like, combat it. Like, don't ever talk to me like that again or something like that. You watch your mouth. You watch your mouth. You hear me?

[Jimmy]

Oh, man.

[Patrick]

She lured me into it, and she had, like, the. Like the. The peach and the penis eggplant emoji.

[Mike]

All peach and the penis, bro.

[Patrick]

She tried to r. That was. That was a little bit too crazy. That was a little too crazy. I hated to start that way, but that was crazy, though. Chewed this like, the D or D E W. Come on. Like, what are we doing? Like, come on.

[Mike]

Welcome to Crash Dummies podcast, episode 218. Am I correct?

[Patrick]

I don't think so.

[Mike]

218.

[Gene]

I think he's right.

[Mike]

I think I'm right.

[Patrick]

Yeah, I don't think so. Go ahead.

[Mike]

Oh, I thought you were, like, fact checking.

[Patrick]

I'm not fact checking.

[Mike]

No, because you're about to fact check. And then you knew I was right there. You're not, brother. Make sure you guys subscribe to the Patreon. We just dropped an episode on there with the We Don't Miss podcast.

[Patrick]

Shout out. Jay, Lionel. Plug for coming through to Philly Lionel. Y' all need to lay off them. Lay off the alcohol. Though all of them was drunk as and them kept hugging for some reason. Me and Mike don't do that, bro.

[Mike]

Well, anyway, subscribe to the Patreon to see that also. Again, merch is out. Make sure you guys, this is the last week we're gonna have them. We're like, there's like five more sizes of each kind of one left and stuff like that.

[Patrick]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Target Worker]

You.

[Patrick]

No, there's no 5XL. Like, we do apologize to the 3XL people. Yeah, my bad.

[Gene]

That's my fault. That.

[Patrick]

That's. That's an apology. And that's something that we gonn. Hopefully, people that's like, right on the edge of like 3xl and 2xl is streetwear, so you should be good. But the 5xl people is. Come on now, bro. Like, come on now. We not. We don't. We not supporting that. We're never making a shirt that big.

[Mike]

The other reason too, is that the shirt will be big and the say, like the audio fiend graphic. It's gonna look like how that BMW graphic. BMW graphic. The CDP graphic gonna look like a dot.

[Patrick]

Yeah, it's literally gonna go right over one of your n. No5XL. Like somebody.

[Gene]

Some.

[Patrick]

Some woman that follows us. Actually, DM me mad as hell that I was making fun of the 5xL people. The 5xL person, he kind of looked older. The one that reached out to me. This is me trying to. I don't know how to save his life. I bet you people have been nice to him too much.

[Unidentified Male]

I'm.

[Patrick]

I want him to survive. I want him to make it to episode 500. So it is like I'm gonna say something about somebody that reach out to me. That's a 5XL. Listen, bro, I'm not making that. I see you at 3XL. Keep watching the pod.

[Mike]

Not 4XL.

[Jimmy]

We might.

[Patrick]

4 we. I can. 4 I can with.

[Mike]

Yeah, it always depends where you're starting.

[Patrick]

Yeah, but five is crazy.

[Mike]

Five is crazy. But I think five is crazy to ask for.

[Patrick]

Yes.

[Mike]

Especially the type of podcast, though. Especially you.

[Patrick]

Yes. They know.

[Mike]

They know what type of answer they're gonna get. You could have asked me. I probably would have gave you a nicer result.

[Patrick]

Mike or Gene. And no, Mike not giving you. Yeah, it might give you a nice response in your face. But he definitely DM'd me like, look what this fat ass. But listen, this. I do know he was wrong, though. This is the whole thing about the 5 XL thing. That's why I started making fun of him a little bit. The fact that he even asked a question to begin with. It sound like he asked that question a lot. Like, you know, like, this nigga just be dming people. You got that in five. X. Nigga be DMing McDonald's about their burgers. You got this in five patties. Oh, my God.

[Mike]

Patties.

[Patrick]

This is a chicken sandwich.

[Mike]

All right, we're gonna play a little game. We're blind rank some things, right?

[Patrick]

Okay?

[Mike]

So for this game, I need y' all to kind of pull out your phones and, like, the notes apps just to remember what number. What numbers you've kind of used already.

[Patrick]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mike]

Because there's. There's 10 of them, so it's gonna be easy to remember what.

[Patrick]

Yeah, yeah. Let's talkie talkie.

[Caller from South Carolina]

All right.

[Mike]

We're gonna blind rank the most terrible things to say to your girl while she's in labor.

[Patrick]

Okay.

[Mike]

All right, you guys ready?

[Patrick]

Yes.

[Mike]

And I'm just gonna go around the room. Just tell me the number.

[Patrick]

Yeah. Number real quick.

[Gene]

Gotcha.

[Roy]

All right.

[Mike]

You sure it's mine? What you going with, Pat?

[Patrick]

I'm going with really, really low. I'm gonna go with a. I'm gonna go to five. Actually. I'm gonna say that's the lightest one on this list.

[Mike]

It's 10.

[Patrick]

Oh, it's 10?

[Hospital Pharmacy Worker]

Yeah.

[Unidentified Male]

Yeah.

[Mike]

That's why I told y' all to pull out y' all phones.

[Patrick]

Ain't nobody trying to do this.

[Mike]

Come on.

[Patrick]

Made it too far to be going through this.

[Caller with Unprofessional Work Story]

Mine.

[Patrick]

I'm putting number 10.

[Mike]

10.

[Gene]

Yeah. Gene, I'm gonna say 10 is, like, the worst.

[Patrick]

Yeah, it's like the.

[Mike]

No, 10 is the. The least.

[Patrick]

The least. The least worst.

[Gene]

Yeah. I'll put it at seven.

[Mike]

Seven.

[Patrick]

Yeah.

[Mike]

A mic. Oh, no.

[Gene]

One second.

[Mike]

Go ahead.

[Jimmy]

Yo, what.

[Mike]

What are you going to do?

[Jimmy]

Oh, I'm doing six.

[Mike]

Six.

[Patrick]

Okay.

[Mike]

Damn, this is taking a while. Can I go grab something to eat real quick?

[Patrick]

I'm gonna go with nine. That's not crazy. Like, that be taking all day while she's in labor.

[Mike]

This is while she's in labor?

[Patrick]

Yes, bro. You can be in labor for.

[Jimmy]

Okay, okay.

[Patrick]

For 24 hours. N. Jimmy.

[Caller Talking About Society]

I'm saying.

[Patrick]

But this sounds right down the street.

[Mike]

This is verbatim.

[Patrick]

I get what you said.

[Mike]

Okay, go ahead.

[Gene]

I feel like. Yeah, I put that at six. Cause I feel like you play it off of it like you want something, you know, like.

[Patrick]

Okay, exactly.

[Jimmy]

I mean, we'll go like seven.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Jimmy]

Who take this?

[Gene]

It's gonna get bad, though.

[Mike]

Babe. You're being kind. Babe. You're being kind of dramatic. It can't hurt that bad.

[Patrick]

I' ma say that's like top three. Telling a woman about her body is crazy.

[Gene]

Yeah. I'm going to put that at four.

[Patrick]

Especially something you can't experience. That's crazy.

[Gene]

She going to remember that shit.

[Mike]

Let's get three. Three. Okay. Fuck. Can you keep it down? I'm trying to update my fantasy football lineup.

[Patrick]

That's not. That's not like fantasy. Like if you. You ever drafted, you ever drafted in fantasy football, you're like legit. Like you got to pick between like Christian McCaffrey and like a receiver that you know going to make it through the whole year. You know, Christian Craft going to get injured.

[Caller with Unprofessional Work Story]

It.

[Patrick]

Then you hear somebody going ah in the background. It's like, bro, concentrate. That's definitely again, telling a woman about her body. It got to be number four for me.

[Gene]

That's.

[Patrick]

You can't do that.

[Gene]

Okay, Gene, I'mma put that at three.

[Jimmy]

My four spot, that's kind of up. So I gotta go four on that one. Two yet.

[Roy]

All right.

[Mike]

This is honestly harder for me than I thought.

[Patrick]

That's number. Like if the nigga's serious.

[Mike]

That's.

[Patrick]

That's like if the nigga. Cuz that's you ranking you ranking yourself above Two things that is supposed to be ranked above you is the baby's health and the mother's health.

[Caller with Unprofessional Work Story]

Yeah.

[Patrick]

So you worried about yourself. That's gotta be top two.

[Mike]

If they.

[Patrick]

If the person dead ass serious. No, I feel it. But I ain't gonna lie, bro. It's. I get that you're. It's all about perspective.

[Caller Discussing OnlyFans]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Patrick]

Honestly.

[Gene]

Yeah. Not for sure because I.

[Patrick]

Because like, to be honest, out of everybody that's in a room, I might rank number three, but I can't complain to the other person. Like, because I'm sleep deprived. I'm scared as I don't know what's going on. The doctor's coming in every 30 minutes, yelling and waking everybody up. And I'm scared, but I got to look strong for the other two people. So it ain't crazy, but it's crazy. I'm go to.

[Jimmy]

I'm actually telling the truth, but that's too crazy.

[Mike]

What you going to.

[Gene]

I'll put that at nine.

[Patrick]

Nine. You know, I don't think.

[Gene]

I don't. I think that's valid to like. I think my girl would understand type.

[Mike]

Okay, okay, okay. Okay. You look different. You.

[Patrick]

You look different. Come up with.

[Unidentified Male]

I'm.

[Patrick]

I'm gonna go I'm gonna go. That's. That's a low. It's depending on. You can spin. Told me if you told me I had to make all these statements first, and then I can recover after. That's easy to recover. Like, you look different.

[Mike]

That's fair. That's fair.

[Patrick]

Look like you ate a balloon.

[Gene]

You could play that off, but, like, I don't know. I'm gonna put that at. Come and see. I got what's. I'll put that at five. I'll put that at five.

[Patrick]

Okay. Y' all be having, like, perspectives of the. Of a woman that y' all thinking of. I'm thinking of the masses.

[Hospital Pharmacy Worker]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Yeah, definitely.

[Patrick]

You know what I mean? I get what y' all doing, though.

[Gene]

No, I know. Yeah, I know. You can spin it off, cuz. I was like, you look different. Like, you glowing. You know what I'm saying?

[Patrick]

Different.

[Gene]

It's all in the tone. Like, you look different.

[Mike]

That nose. All right, like, three more.

[Target Worker]

Four more.

[Mike]

Hey, my ex didn't scream like that when she gave birth.

[Patrick]

That's number one. That's like some. My ex. I don't think the. I don't think you mentioned your ex during the whole pregnancy, let alone, like, in labor. It's crazy. Like, she might legit get up and shoot the kid at you.

[Gene]

Oh, and y' all ain't even. You ain't even have a baby with your ex. Just talking about her labor every night.

[Patrick]

That'd be crazy. From what I heard, y' all got the same doctor I asked.

[Gene]

That's number two. I feel like it might get worse.

[Caller Discussing Love]

I got.

[Patrick]

I'll put it at 30. I don't want to give my number one spot.

[Mike]

I feel it. I feel it.

[Jimmy]

We'll go two.

[Patrick]

Okay, nigga, just saying anything.

[Jimmy]

Hey, I was about to say me the last twice. Y' all give me the last two, so I don't even know what we.

[Patrick]

I'm just saying. I knew you said anything.

[Mike]

All right, why didn't you get an epidural like we talked about?

[Patrick]

That's.

[Mike]

Wait, wait. You're kind of ruining the plan.

[Patrick]

No, that's not like, if it was part of the plan.

[Jimmy]

You going against the game plan.

[Patrick]

Back in my day, they call that conversation. No, that I. I get. If that was part of the plan, what number.

[Mike]

We don't even got to give me explanation.

[Patrick]

Lowest. That's. I.

[Mike]

My.

[Patrick]

I think my lowest one is, like, seven. I give up. That ain't crazy, cuz. I know there's something crazy on there.

[Gene]

I'll put that on my number 10.

[Patrick]

That's the reason why.

[Gene]

It's not like. That's not a. You said you want. You said you was going to take you over here. Screaming, fighting here for 12 hours.

[Patrick]

We prep for this. They don't got prison break here. So, like, you just want me to stay here?

[Mike]

Like, what you going with.

[Jimmy]

It don't even matter no more.

[Mike]

All right, so this number nine. Wait, so we're really doing this, huh?

[Patrick]

It depends on the tone with that. Like, you could be, like. You can play that off as sarcastic. I'm. Put that low.

[Gene]

Like, a little nervousness.

[Patrick]

Wait, we're really doing this, huh? That's like.

[Jimmy]

Yeah, that's like the softest one. That might be the 10.

[Patrick]

Unless you got like a. Like a foster mom outside the doorway. I got somebody to take her now. All right, quick little hand off.

[Gene]

You sure?

[Mike]

Before I read this one, ladies and woman out there, this is not me that made up these answers. I just. At all right?

[Patrick]

This is not me. Get a backbone.

[Mike]

This is just. This is a blind. Rank it.

[Patrick]

I take credit for this.

[Jimmy]

This one.

[Patrick]

All right.

[Roy]

Okay.

[Mike]

Do you think the baby will mess up your body for good

[Patrick]

again? Talking about a woman's body. That's number one.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Patrick]

You don't talk about their body at all. I don't play that.

[Mike]

What are you going one?

[Gene]

That's the worst you could do?

[Caller with Unprofessional Work Story]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Okay. You agree, too? I guess.

[Jimmy]

What was the other one?

[Mike]

That was really bad.

[Gene]

It's like, you look different now.

[Caller with Unprofessional Work Story]

Something like that.

[Patrick]

No, it was like. That doesn't even hurt that it. Only I don't know if that.

[Gene]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mike]

That would have to be the worst one to me.

[Patrick]

That was all 10.

[Mike]

Yeah, that was all 10 for me. The worst one to me is. Can you keep it down? I'm trying to update my football fantasy line.

[Patrick]

That's not crazy in labor.

[Mike]

Because obviously if she's making noise, that means she's already, like, she's pushing.

[Patrick]

Okay.

[Mike]

Right.

[Patrick]

Yeah.

[Mike]

And then while she's pushing, you're there during the fantasy league trying to arrange your. And you tell her to keep it down.

[Patrick]

I know, but if you.

[Jimmy]

Look, she knows how devoted to fantasy football you are.

[Patrick]

Have you been on Twitter lately?

[Caller from South Carolina]

Yeah.

[Patrick]

So my confusion with this whole situation and with the fantasy football situation, I've been seeing CD Lamb get a lot more targets from that. He getting a lot of targets for a receiver, too. And like you don't know. Oh, shall I put a running back here or should I put CD Lamb in this spot? As a receiver, too. You know what I'm saying?

[Mike]

So I'm not saying that the. The fantasy football thing is not the worst thing.

[Target Worker]

Right.

[Patrick]

Okay.

[Mike]

It's the action of saying, hey, can you keep it down?

[Patrick]

Yeah,

[Mike]

forget the fantasy football part.

[Patrick]

But that's what I'm saying is the.

[Mike]

What is her.

[Patrick]

How far. How far is she dialing? Like, is she screaming? Like, does she have 4th and down?

[Mike]

Or like, we got turn into a red pill box?

[Patrick]

Obviously, all this is whack. Ladies. We. I understand that y' all know that most of the ladies be laughing at that.

[Gene]

That's why the list is terrible things to say.

[Patrick]

Yeah, yeah, we know birth is the hardest thing to do. That's why men can't do it.

[Gene]

Y. And Mike and Pat are doing contraction simulators next week.

[Patrick]

So we're doing what?

[Gene]

The contraction simulators.

[Mike]

Actually got pretty high on one of those before. The contraction simulators.

[Patrick]

I would never do. No.

[Caller Talking About Society]

Hey, get.

[Mike]

I've gone pretty high, though.

[Caller with Joint Story]

Yes.

[Mike]

But I also need. I need the women to try it, too, to tell me what level really feels like it.

[Patrick]

A woman who's already had.

[Mike]

Had a baby. Because I need the. Because sometimes it's like, if they put it on the highest level it can get, and as a woman says, oh, this is not. It's not. It's bad, but it's not like this. Like, this bad.

[Patrick]

Also, the thing is, it's almost like a. Like a tattoo, right?

[Caller Discussing Love]

Yeah.

[Roy]

Not.

[Patrick]

Not comparing the two, but I'm just.

[Roy]

Fine.

[Patrick]

No, no, but, like, okay, let's say somebody said you have to endure the pain of a tattoo, but you don't get the tattoo. You know what I'm saying? So, like, you making me go through a woman's contractions, and I'll get no baby. It's kind of crazy, right?

[Mike]

I guess you're trying to say, like, the.

[Patrick]

You.

[Mike]

You also need that motivation. It's like, I'm trying to bring life into this world.

[Patrick]

Yeah.

[Mike]

As safe as possible.

[Patrick]

No, no, I get that. I don't like those type of tests, because there was another similar test to that, which was, like, you put on the goggles to see what it's like to drive drunk. Did you ever do that? They came into our college.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Yeah, they did the walking one.

[Patrick]

Yeah, they did the walking one.

[Gene]

And there's, like, a driving simulator.

[Patrick]

It was a driving simulator. And, like, I think I got. So it was like, they're telling me exactly how much I had, like, how much alcohol I think it equals six beers at the Time. And they put the goggles on me. I got on the simulator and I crashed 10 seconds later, and I took the goggles off and I said, dog, it's some bullshit. And they're just like, yeah, we told you. I'm like, no, this is some bullshit, because I just had seven last night and I got over five. That never happened, allegedly. But them. Them little Jesus signs. Be me up, though.

[Mike]

I think the other thing with the simulators, too, I think there were. There were other people saying it was to. For the period cramps. I don't know if it was the pregnancy part either. I think they were trying to simulate period cramps, which I believe, because I don't think. Because the babies come out the vagina. And I think the cramps is more of the simulating thing than.

[Patrick]

I mean, whatever they doing, we don't experience.

[Jimmy]

Yeah,

[Patrick]

y' all got it.

[Caller Discussing Love]

I don't know. Yeah.

[Patrick]

There's no. Like, I would never say anything. Nothing's more beautiful than being able to create another human being. Like, I can't even get close to that.

[Gene]

You sound jealous.

[Mike]

I'm not jealous.

[Patrick]

I'm not jealous.

[Mike]

I'm not jealous.

[Patrick]

I'll be so. Like, there was so. When I was younger, I actually. Actually cried because I thought I could get pregnant. Listen, dead ass was in tears, bro. We. I. I don't know why. I was young. I watched a movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

[Roy]

Yeah.

[Patrick]

And he got pregnant. He was like the first thing like that. I love his name, man. And he got pregnant. And I was like, oh, I could have a kid one day. That looked like it hurt. I don't want to have to have a kid.

[Mike]

So why do you think you got pregnant? Like, what happened?

[Patrick]

I never thought I got pregnant. I thought it was a possibility I could get pregnant.

[Mike]

But what was the process of, like, how do you get pregnant? Or you weren't thinking.

[Patrick]

I. I wasn't there yet.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Patrick]

I wasn't. I wasn't even dry humping yet. Brother still watching Disney movies.

[Mike]

So wonder why.

[Patrick]

Nala getting me hard.

[Mike]

Shannon Shop lady. L. Shannon Sharp got fired from espn.

[Patrick]

A word.

[Mike]

Yeah. And he was saying that. Obviously he was saying that he wished they would have waited a little bit longer so it didn't overshine. Sternly Sharp. His brother get into the. The NFL hall of fame and stuff like that.

[Patrick]

Yeah. First brothers to go in. No shout out to them.

[Mike]

It's interesting with this because this is truly showing that being lustful can. Can cost you your job sometimes.

[Patrick]

What Kendrick say is, it's getting shaky right now. It's better to have one woman.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Patrick]

Specifically for this reason.

[Caller Discussing Love]

Yeah.

[Patrick]

But we never know what, like, people's kinks are.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Patrick]

And I feel like I'm. I'm happy that my king isn't a middle ground for something that could be very dangerous also. So with that being said also, I'm confused if Shannon Sharp is going to go back to espn because it doesn't make any sense to me that he would settle out of court and then he ends up getting fired from ESPN anyways.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Patrick]

And losing his sponsors anyways. Unless he's going back that route.

[Mike]

Well, DraftKings seems like they're back because I saw the logo.

[Patrick]

Okay.

[Mike]

It's back up and stuff like that.

[Patrick]

So maybe he's just keeping his sponsors right now.

[Mike]

Yeah, he's keeping his sponsors. I think he's obviously not gonna get that big yet. The TV deal that he was gonna get. He might go to another network or something like that.

[Patrick]

Yeah.

[Mike]

But it's a tough one.

[Target Worker]

It's.

[Mike]

It's kind of sad in a sense too, because it's just too freaky. It's just like a lot of freaky that's going on. I think in any other situation, say if it was just a woman a little bit older.

[Patrick]

Yeah.

[Mike]

A woman that maybe not. It was just too many red flags for him to. Especially the way Shannon Shark preaches on his. I think that's the thing. Other things like he preaches about having discipline and. And he like the Zion thing. I think somebody showed a clip about how Zion doesn't have discipline for his weight and his career and stuff like that. He's not taking his career seriously. And I think the same thing could be applied to when you're in a position like that. Obviously some women are out there. They're going to get you to how they get you. Right.

[Caller from South Carolina]

Right.

[Mike]

But there are ways as men you can protect yourselves, you know. And I just think again, like what Kendrick said, like the. Yeah, it just.

[Patrick]

To me, it's just like for Shannon Sharp, I feel like he lost a whole avenue for money. Like now when I see a motivational video, like if you could be scrolling on Tick Tock, you see a motivational video where they got all the combinations of, you know, the best quotes. They got Dion talking at the beginning, then they got Tom Brady talking at the beginning, all while these highlights play in the background. Now, Shannon Sharpe is not a part of that.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Patrick]

Because I feel like he lost that Unk way of just being like, hey, man, focus on you focus on that and stuff like that. Because he made. Not only made a mistake, but made it in his like the prime of when he's supposed to know all that stuff. It's not like he made it at 30 and he's 50 now and he can go back and talk about it like, oh, when I was that age, this is why you don't do it.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Patrick]

So now that takes away for a little bit from his show now when stuff like that comes up because you know those are some of the biggest stories in NFL, NBA. Regardless of like what goes on, the biggest stories is always when a star commits a crime or does something off the field. Like for instance, like some. Not even a crime. Like Zion dealing with Mariah Mills and stuff like that. Right. Especially for Shannon's podcast. That's a big topic.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Patrick]

Now he just lost like a bunch of steam behind his opinion where it weighed a lot like, oh, let me go see what Unc Shannon got to say about this Zion situation. Now I feel like people are not. Won't go to him.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Patrick]

You know what I mean? Like I'm not going to him because he a freak too.

[Mike]

The money is different. The money is different too. On tv. On TV it's like, yeah. With podcasting and stuff like that, you always have to rely on, you know, new sponsors. Every other kind of. Every other kind of episode. Maybe the deals might deal with how much people actually buy the thing with tv it's just like if you get good rate and ESPN is kind of like a. It's a head start.

[Patrick]

Yeah.

[Mike]

There's already a built in audience there, so you, you can only really add to it and you can, you know, demand a lot more money. I mean, look at longer contracts.

[Patrick]

Stephen A. Smith basically runs those shows.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Patrick]

Right. And I literally just watched a clip of Stephen A. Smith, which I never thought I'd say, especially when I first heard the rumor probably four or five years ago. I really thought I never would sit here and to see somebody talk of Stephen A. Stature about politics and I watch him break down a clip of something about Barack and Michelle.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Patrick]

And he actually said something about Barack Obama.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Patrick]

Back in the day, if Stephen A. Smith says something about Barack Obama, everybody be like, shut the up.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Patrick]

Now only half of us saying shut the up.

[Caller Discussing OnlyFans]

Yeah.

[Mike]

You know what I'm saying?

[Patrick]

So it's getting more like. And that comes from espn and like you said, it's a head start to like, you want a movie career, your own show. Look at cam. Right? Yeah, I bet you. He got more fans when he started appearing on ESPN and now 4th and 1 is dope as hell, you know what I'm saying? So there's different stuff.

[Mike]

So there's a clip from the. The lead attorney on YouTube about talking about a little bit about this too. And I wanted to hear your opinion.

[Unidentified Male]

This case was about money. Why did she. That Shannon had offered this girl, if I'm going to be honest, in a very real way, Shannon settled this case for you, you say for me. Well, what do you mean by that lead? Listen, the only reason Shannon makes any money at all is because of you and how you feel about him, how you judge him, what light you see. The only reason that Shannon makes any money is because you exist and you have money. And so companies want to get in front of you. These companies feel like you hold Shannon Sharpe in a certain esteem and you watch Shannon Sharpe. So they want to use Shannon Sharpe to get in front of you. When Shannon.

[Mike]

So I play that to say that

[Patrick]

what the fuck is that nigga talking?

[Mike]

But that. It makes sense though. He's saying that the only image that Shannon Sharp really has to really save is the one that his audience perceives him. Doesn't matter what Disney kind of thinks now because that's this. The people that watch him like, just like how the people that watch us, we rely on the people that watch us because our sponsors want to put their stuff in front of them. So if, if people still like Shannon and still see him in that regard, they'll still watch his show. So as long as his show doesn't take a big hit. But you, like you said, he did lose a revenue stream.

[Patrick]

But the talk. But I don't think the conversation isn't. Can he maintain what he has on. Yeah, it's. It was.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Patrick]

Is it going to stop his ascension on the same pace that it was on? So it's like that's what's stopping. Like Shannon was getting ready to. If ESPN start to break off in the shows, you could definitely see Shannon having his own show on espn, which is. Which is crazy, right? Only Stephen A. Really has that. Like that's notable right now. So that stopped that ascension, which obviously we know ESPN can lead to such and such and such and such. But I don't think Shannon's gonna stop. I. I think his interviews should. They might be better cuz now he

[Mike]

doesn't have like Disney in the back of his.

[Patrick]

I think it helped it. It might have helped his podcast a little bit more because now he doesn't have to have a. A big artist as. Just like the interview. He doesn't need a Cat Williams now. He can go with, you know, a lower tier celebrity and also be the vocal point of the podcast or. Or the interview. Like, oh, yeah, I went through a situation like that. Like, people probably would love to hear. I guess Shannon's probably going to break this down one day, what actually happened when the case is all clear and he can. And people are going to be very interested in that. I feel also because weird stuff like this. Only in America that weird stuff like this makes you a bigger celebrity. Like, a lot of people didn't watch. They don't watch sports.

[Caller from South Carolina]

Yeah.

[Patrick]

And they don't watch Nightcap, and they don't. Some people don't even know who Shannon Sharp is, believe it or not.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Patrick]

But a lot of people know major news. And, like, some people found out who that was because of him. And he probably picked up some fans because of it.

[Mike]

Yeah, I would say he picked up, but it depends. Like I said, like you said, the ascension part is, like, definitely stops. Is the. The problem now.

[Patrick]

Any court case that you go through, going. Going to put a halt to all that. That's, like, my worst feel. I do not want to end up in court. I laugh way too much, I promise you.

[Roy]

You good?

[Patrick]

You good? You good?

[Target Worker]

Yeah, yeah, I'm good, bro. I got work later on. I was taking a little nap before.

[Patrick]

Wait, okay, I. I can hear your voice now. At the beginning, his voice wasn't. It was like, kind of slouchy or something.

[Mike]

It's not like you under the covers

[Target Worker]

or some n. The face is in the pillow, though, for sure.

[Patrick]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, brother. Pause, Pause. My f. That boy called us face down, ass up.

[Target Worker]

My bad freak ass.

[Patrick]

I got a question for you. All right. Don't say what's up?

[Mike]

Like that.

[Patrick]

All right. What's the most unprofessional thing you've ever done at work?

[Target Worker]

I was sitting on my porch during break, and it's like a whole bunch of us, but we all be out there smoking, and it's a real lockdown kind of place. Like, we not allowed to go to our cars or lead the building at all during our breaks. So it's like a whole bunch of gates and stuff. But one of my old co workers, he quit and he ended up. He ended up getting fired because I guess some lady was trying to steal a dildo and he came out the cut, like, trying to vouch for it, like. No, no, I was telling her, hold that for me. And so they ended up firing both of them anyway.

[Patrick]

I'm so confused. Where the do you work at?

[Target Worker]

It was a Target distribution center in New Jersey.

[Patrick]

Wait, Target. Wait, why does Target have dildos?

[Mike]

They'd have, like, vibrators, and they got everything.

[Patrick]

Okay, okay, okay, okay. Continue the story.

[Target Worker]

And that's when about two months later, he comes back. And we had orange vests. So he had an orange vest on. We see him walk up to the gate. The gate. Tall as, so you really have to climb it. So he climbs the gate, jumps over it, looks at everybody, gives him a nod, just walks in the building. I think he stole probably, like, a whole bunch of, like, Apple products and, like, probably a couple cameras and stuff. And I think he grabbed a PS5. They said

[Patrick]

he grabbed a PS5. So.

[Target Worker]

So.

[Patrick]

So you just watched it? You just watch him do this and didn't report him or nothing? Just stood there?

[Target Worker]

No, I said. I said, what's up, bro? He said, what's up? Say, how you doing? Said, good. Say how? The kids said, good. And then he went back and what he was doing. I'm minding my business. See.

[Patrick]

No, I feel it.

[Mike]

I can't be mad at that.

[Patrick]

No, no, no, no. This dude, he freaky as hell, though. Get out. Get out the bed, though.

[Target Worker]

When you call us next time out here. Patrick,

[Mike]

all day is crazy.

[Roy]

All right.

[Patrick]

Literally taking this with his ass in there.

[Mike]

Oh, my God.

[Unidentified Male]

Y be easy, man.

[Target Worker]

I let it prime.

[Mike]

Appreciate it.

[Patrick]

So easy,

[Target Worker]

huh?

[Patrick]

Yo, yo, what's the deal? What's going on with y'?

[Caller with Unprofessional Work Story]

All?

[Patrick]

Chilling, potting, and I feel that.

[Caller with Unprofessional Work Story]

I feel that.

[Patrick]

Sorry. Yes, sir. I got a question for you.

[Caller with Unprofessional Work Story]

What's good?

[Patrick]

All right. What's the most unprofessional thing you've done at work?

[Caller with Unprofessional Work Story]

All right, so I work with, like, two agencies. One was on the left hand side. That was on the right. And my area was, like, in the middle. So my superintendent put me in the show that I was dealing with at the time on the same side. So this particular day at work, we worked a night shift. So it was me and her. And I was a little backed up. So I was like, I'm trying to get some head. She was like, right now? And I was like, why not? She was like, we got agencies over there. And over there, I was like, they not paying attention to what we doing. Like, I'm just going to stand up. You know, you do what you got to do. Somebody come and let you know. But she started doing her job or her other job. And then we got a phone call hit the console. So I picked it up, and it was a death notification that had to go out to somebody family. So while she was busy doing what she was doing, I'm supposed to be taking notes about this death so I can let the family know when I call them. I wasn't taking zero notes. So I went through the whole notification. Had to keep asking questions over and over again because I couldn't really focus full time. And then when I finally got all the information down, I got my happy ending. But the family got the information, like, two hours later because I was preoccupied.

[Patrick]

It's literally gonna sound like sizzling fajitas. Where you going, brother?

[Caller with Unprofessional Work Story]

I mean, at the end of the day, the family still got notified.

[Patrick]

Hey, man, tell Hogan I said, what's up?

[Mike]

That's craz me. That's so wild, bro.

[Caller with Unprofessional Work Story]

Y' all ain't done no wild stuff like that.

[Patrick]

Never, bro. We would never disrespect the dead either.

[Caller Discussing OnlyFans]

Over.

[Patrick]

Especially sex. It's like, I understand where he was at, bro. You think race is going to heaven? That's our new subject we talk about. But, yeah, you going there, brother.

[Caller with Unprofessional Work Story]

Actually, that might be the case.

[Patrick]

Actually, that's not my judgment. We'll see at the gates.

[Caller Talking About Society]

But just.

[Patrick]

Just know they calling the manager from the back for you. Hold on. Just step to the side.

[Caller with Unprofessional Work Story]

I got my dis when I got out, so I'm straight. You know, they family members still did.

[Patrick]

Oh, my God.

[Mike]

That's crazy.

[Patrick]

You're crazy, bro.

[Mike]

All right, hopefully nothing happens to you in this same situation. Doesn't happen to you. You know, that's true karma.

[Caller with Unprofessional Work Story]

If y' all know folk who need help getting their disability, tell them hit me up.

[Hospital Pharmacy Worker]

Okay.

[Gene]

Sound like a scam.

[Patrick]

Come down here, brother.

[Gene]

All right. All right, man.

[Mike]

You have a good one.

[Caller with Joint Story]

All right.

[Caller with Unprofessional Work Story]

Y' all too,

[Target Worker]

now.

[Patrick]

He not a good person, bro.

[Mike]

Yo.

[Patrick]

Oh, what's the deal?

[Mike]

What up? What up?

[Caller from South Carolina]

Call it, man.

[Roy]

Can't call him.

[Caller with Joint Story]

I'm a hot pot real quick.

[Patrick]

Excuse me.

[Gene]

Let's talking about that.

[Patrick]

Appreciate you stepping outside, brother.

[Caller with Joint Story]

Anytime. I be listening, y'. All. Some of the audios in the back be. It'd be terrible.

[Roy]

I can't

[Caller Talking About Society]

do that.

[Mike]

All right. I gotta answer a question, Pat.

[Roy]

It's mine. Yeah.

[Patrick]

All right. What's the most unprofessional thing you've done at work?

[Caller with Joint Story]

Dang. So probably taking the joint. It's like, I guess, compensation in a sense, or like a tilt. He's working fast food, so basically, by the clothes. I think we go to midnight. I worked at Wiener Schn. I don't know if. No, it is.

[Hospital Pharmacy Worker]

Or not.

[Patrick]

Explain Wieners.

[Mike]

I've never heard of it.

[Patrick]

I've never heard of that.

[Caller with Joint Story]

It's some. It's. It's in like LA and stuff. Yeah, Hot dogs, corn dogs, jalapeno poppers. They be Texans. Like a dollar for, you know, I mean, $9 for two hot dogs.

[Patrick]

No, no, we believe you. Go ahead with the story, though.

[Roy]

Okay.

[Caller with Joint Story]

Yeah. So, yeah, we bout to close. And dude came at like 11:55. I was in a good mood, you know, I was like, you know what? He ordered like two things of largely cheese fries. And I'm like, damn, it's gonna take a little minute. But we had schedule. We got a slow night. So we pull up and I let him know, like, you know, usually I would be a. I would have told you no, but I'm in a good mood. He's like, bro, I got a joint for you. You know, gonna hit this. Nah. He's like, I got a spare one. So he gave me the spare. It was like a little golden little joint. I ain't gonna lie. I thought I got leased at first like this.

[Caller with Unprofessional Work Story]

Just gave me a joint. I thought I was.

[Caller with Joint Story]

Thought I about to die. But it wasn't that bad, you know, they had a good night. I didn't know what was in it, but I'm still here.

[Mike]

It.

[Roy]

Right.

[Patrick]

Real talk that made you lose.

[Gene]

That's.

[Caller with Unprofessional Work Story]

Bro,

[Patrick]

I don't even know what to say.

[Gene]

That's crazy.

[Mike]

Okay, bro. I'm glad you're okay, I guess.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Caller with Joint Story]

No, I appreciate it.

[Patrick]

Yeah. Appreciate you calling in sausage Sergeant.

[Mike]

Oh, my God.

[Patrick]

No, it's a man, like, I feel

[Gene]

like he was never the same after that joint.

[Patrick]

No matter what he said.

[Caller Discussing Love]

The crash, dummy.

[Patrick]

What's good? What's good? What's good, brother? How you doing?

[Caller Discussing Love]

Good. I'm good.

[Patrick]

Yeah. We only ask people how they normal when they come on with good energy. Sometimes y' all be dry as hell. We get straight to the question.

[Caller Discussing Love]

No, no, I'm with the energy, buddy. I'm with the energy. I love y' all dummies. I love the Crash dummies. Yes, sir.

[Gene]

And not.

[Patrick]

Not too much now.

[Mike]

Oh, my God. I got a question for you. What's something that's ruining society?

[Caller Discussing Love]

I. I said love this. You know, love isn't real loving. True. All these people doing behind lovers is ruining everything in the world.

[Patrick]

I thought he was rapping.

[Mike]

What's. What's your like your hate against love. I guess you got your heart broken.

[Caller Discussing Love]

It's not. Hey, it's just real. Love isn't real, buddy. You know, just think about it. If somebody do something that. That you say you love you, if they do something bad to you, you're gonna be like nine. I ain't messing with them no more. You don't really love him then at that point, right?

[Patrick]

Yeah, I know.

[Mike]

So people can't change their minds.

[Caller Discussing Love]

I don't believe you change your mind. You love something, you love something. You love something. God didn't change his mind when he made you, right? He said, black boy, I made you.

[Caller Talking About Society]

I love you.

[Patrick]

Yeah, I know. Like when you was in school and they asked you to show an example, that used to kick your ass,

[Gene]

man.

[Caller Discussing Love]

I'm just. I'm just telling you how I feel about love. I'm just asking me the question.

[Patrick]

Okay, okay, you're right, you're right, you're right, you're right. What's your message to everybody that. Just teach them about love real quick and no more fortune cookie talking.

[Caller Discussing Love]

Okay, here we go. So when love comes to you, never look at it. Walk away, because it isn't real. It's fake. It's a figment of your imagination. It's there for a second, and it's gone tomorrow. You gentlemen have a wonderful day. That's right.

[Gene]

Still there.

[Mike]

Got left on Reddit in 2016. Became a philosopher.

[Patrick]

He sound like he got followers, though.

[Gene]

Just a bunch of just love.

[Patrick]

That's up because there's somebody more. Like, if Michael B. Jordan said that, that should have hit. Yo, yo, hold on real quick. Let me take this. Let me take this.

[Mike]

Energy drink is your question too, bro.

[Patrick]

Not for real, bro. You think we just. You think we just go from caller to call with no refreshments

[Hospital Pharmacy Worker]

when motivation for money.

[Patrick]

Yes, you right. Called us out. We're not grinding hard enough. I got you. All right. That wasn't even that funny.

[Gene]

All right.

[Patrick]

What? All right, I forgot the question.

[Target Worker]

This.

[Patrick]

I say, I hate when we have goofy ass, bro.

[Hospital Pharmacy Worker]

Does he not have, like, the question on his phone up and ready.

[Patrick]

Hold on, hold on. You just throwing me off, right? Forgot the question all day. It's this voice, bro.

[Caller Discussing Love]

Oh, Lord.

[Patrick]

What's the most unprofessional thing you've ever done at work?

[Hospital Pharmacy Worker]

Okay, so I work in pharmacy in the hospital, and the biggest mistake I did is I leave the airpod in and listen to the podcast, usually because I'm bored, but to make time go by. So this one Day. They were like, I need you to run upstairs to the emergency room and give this guy this bag because he's dying.

[Caller Talking About Society]

So I'm like, okay, cool.

[Hospital Pharmacy Worker]

I run up there fast as possible and listen to the podcast. Mind you, whole podcast going in my ear. Soon as I walk in the emergency room, I see butt, ass naked, man on the table, just dick jumping around. What's called pat in my ear, just laughing. So I'm trying to keep that.

[Patrick]

You stop that, bro.

[Hospital Pharmacy Worker]

Bro, it was completely your fault.

[Mike]

That just puts you in a whole orgy sit. With the dick out.

[Patrick]

They're just trying to protect.

[Hospital Pharmacy Worker]

They literally just trying to resuscitate them. So I'm like 12 people in the room. I'm sitting here like, okay, who am I giving this bag to? This man is dying. All I hear is pac scream in my ear.

[Target Worker]

The.

[Hospital Pharmacy Worker]

I bust out laughing in the middle of emergency room.

[Patrick]

They all look at me saying, scream and bust in my name. Never say that shit again.

[Hospital Pharmacy Worker]

So the whole mercy room looking at me now. I finally got their attention.

[Caller with Joint Story]

I'm holding the bag like, all right,

[Patrick]

who do I give this to?

[Hospital Pharmacy Worker]

Podcast still going in the ear. I'm just laughing, smirking, and they look at me like, what the is funny? I'm just like, I'm sorry. I just have a nervous laugh. And they're like, okay, get in the bag. Get the out. I. I just had to walk out in sadness because I was just like, bro, I'm sorry I got here in time. I was trying to save the life. I'm sorry I'm laughing so much.

[Caller Discussing Love]

Cr.

[Hospital Pharmacy Worker]

And then I never got to run any more meds upstairs.

[Patrick]

Yeah, bro.

[Mike]

Did he live?

[Caller Talking About Society]

I think so. The sit.

[Hospital Pharmacy Worker]

He. A lawnmower blew up on him. He was trying to cut his grass, and it just blew up under his ass. I. I think he lives.

[Mike]

The reason I was laughing is just that I would hate for something so random to happen. A lawnmower. I'm relaxed, mowing the lawn. This blows up on me. And I take and damn near takes my life.

[Caller from South Carolina]

Life.

[Mike]

I just.

[Patrick]

I just don't. Hey, be quiet. It's my turn.

[Caller with Unprofessional Work Story]

Oh, oh.

[Patrick]

Oh, my God. I just don't.

[Jimmy]

The.

[Mike]

He.

[Patrick]

Duh, bro. What the Was that? N. Dude, weird, man.

[Mike]

Oh, my God.

[Patrick]

Now his vibes is definitely off from

[Mike]

the get go, bro.

[Patrick]

Way too horny.

[Mike]

What's up, fellas? What up? What up?

[Patrick]

What's up, fellas?

[Caller from South Carolina]

Where are you from, South Carolina? Hey, before I get started, I just wanted to. What's up, Mike, man, I missed You, Mike, Pat.

[Caller Talking About Society]

Happy?

[Caller from South Carolina]

Happy. No, I'm just playing. I ain't gonna do it. I ain't gonna do it.

[Patrick]

No, don't do it, bro.

[Mike]

All right, I got a question for you. What's something that's ruined? What's something that's ruining society?

[Caller from South Carolina]

Man, these Y N's, man. These wines don't got no regards, man. They just do whatever they want to do, talk to people however they want to talk. I'm calling for the uncs. I'm on myself. So first off, I just want to

[Gene]

give a shout out to South Carolina.

[Patrick]

She sound black, though.

[Caller from South Carolina]

Yeah, I'm black.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Target Worker]

You're.

[Caller from South Carolina]

Yeah.

[Patrick]

I'm not gonna lie.

[Mike]

You had Tom from Facebook on your profile picture, so I was already kind of confused, bro.

[Patrick]

His. His Instagram name is literally Jim Crow, bro.

[Mike]

What the Is so what he said.

[Caller Talking About Society]

Why?

[Mike]

And it threw me all the way off. Okay, continue.

[Caller from South Carolina]

No, I know, but. No, nobody gets it. Nobody gets the profile picture. Yeah, yeah, but the wines don't care about that, man. They mad disrespectful. Their pants always too tight and. And they always got a pooh shisty on. It's nine o' clock in the morning. Why y' all walk around pooh shit on like some. Y' all need to help me Fill it out. Y' all need to help me.

[Patrick]

Do they scare you,

[Target Worker]

man? It'd be.

[Caller from South Carolina]

I went to Shoney's yesterday. I went to Shoney's yesterday. He walked in, went up and like, I had to step back cause I

[Caller Talking About Society]

ain't know what was going on.

[Caller from South Carolina]

So, yeah, y' all need to talk to him.

[Mike]

Hey, this. This is your platform to talk to.

[Caller with Joint Story]

Go ahead.

[Patrick]

What's your message to them?

[Mike]

What's your message to all the YNs?

[Caller from South Carolina]

Take that shit off your head right now before I take off my belt. I'm tired of it. I'm taking off my belt next time I see one time.

[Patrick]

Yeah, you get the belt, they gonna get the switch.

[Mike]

You just said you're a scared of one. Why are you raising your voice now?

[Caller from South Carolina]

Because ain't none around me now. I'm in the house. It's Sunday.

[Gene]

All right?

[Mike]

Now act like there's one in the room. Obviously, I'm not. I'm just saying you don't have to be, like, aggressive with your psa.

[Patrick]

Give a more like or non aggressive. Just like. Just act like there's like eight of them in the room looking at you with the pooh shy season.

[Caller from South Carolina]

No, no, no. You give me two of them. You give me Two of them. I'm accepting, like, hey, hey, young fella. First off, pull up your pants. Pull up your pants. First off, pull up your pants. You got. You got ladies around here, your ladies around here. And then don't be like, hey, man, just have a little bit more, like, conscious of your awareness about where y' all at, man, because, like, everybody's not hip to the movement and stuff like that. And plus, y' all giving all the rest of.

[Caller with Joint Story]

Got.

[Patrick]

He started talking like Shannon sharpish. To the movement.

[Mike]

Go ahead, go ahead.

[Caller with Joint Story]

All right.

[Caller from South Carolina]

I want to give a shout out to the audio listeners, man. I listen to y' all at work all day, but, hey, Pat, I don't like you no more, man. I just playing.

[Gene]

All right.

[Patrick]

Nah, you can't even say it, man.

[Mike]

Yeah, I feel like Pat hasn't said anything bad about all your listeners in, like, a hundred episodes.

[Patrick]

I'll fix that.

[Caller Talking About Society]

This

[Patrick]

I bless. Shout out to the audio listeners, though. I ain't saying nothing about the audio. In a minute. You know what I mean? Shout out to y'.

[Gene]

All.

[Patrick]

Hard work, beings.

[Caller from South Carolina]

Yeah, appreciate you. Appreciate y', all, boys, man. I've been following y' all since, like, since Mike lost his phone. Since Mike lost his phone, I've been up on y'. All.

[Patrick]

Okay, Keep doing, y'.

[Hospital Pharmacy Worker]

All.

[Patrick]

No, he didn't lose his phone. A stole.

[Mike]

It's like, 13.

[Jimmy]

Huh?

[Mike]

This one, like, 12 or some.

[Patrick]

No, no, no, no. He talking about when dude took your phone. Oh, and you ain't do.

[Mike]

They didn't do. I didn't know who it was. I swear to God. I don't know who it was.

[Patrick]

We know who it is.

[Mike]

No, they. The building knew who it was. The building KN who it was, but they didn't show me the footage.

[Roy]

All right, bro.

[Mike]

You have a good one.

[Patrick]

All right, man.

[Caller from South Carolina]

Appreciate y'.

[Jimmy]

All.

[Mike]

I forgot all about that.

[Patrick]

Me too.

[Gene]

I did, too.

[Caller Discussing OnlyFans]

Yeah, yeah.

[Patrick]

Hello.

[Mike]

Can you hear us?

[Caller Discussing OnlyFans]

How's it going?

[Mike]

Pretty good, pretty good.

[Patrick]

I just don't. Okay. My only bone to pick with that is like, the octave of his yo, hello is almost like he didn't hear nothing on the phone. It wasn't like, oh, yo, hello.

[Mike]

Like, he might not, though.

[Patrick]

No, he definitely heard some. He just gave us the same yo, hello.

[Caller Discussing OnlyFans]

I answered the phone like that last time, too. You said it was, like, cool. You said it was unique.

[Gene]

Why are you changing up on him?

[Patrick]

He said you said I was cool. I think it just beat a different. Yeah, for real, bro. It'd be the different strains of weed.

[Caller Discussing OnlyFans]

Okay.

[Patrick]

That's just definitely not cool. I must have some indica or some.

[Mike]

I got a question for you. What's something that's ruining society?

[Caller Discussing OnlyFans]

Only fans. Only fans is ruining society, and it's messing up the competitiveness of regular porn.

[Patrick]

You almost had it.

[Unidentified Male]

Almost

[Mike]

what? Explain.

[Caller Discussing OnlyFans]

All right, so regular porn, like, online porn, pornhub, like, all these other sites, like Twitter and stuff, there's not as much competitiveness in there to, like, get your craft out there, because, I mean, everyone's charging a price for this now. It's not that you can go in, like, certain and find some good because all the good they charging for. You feel what I'm saying? So, like, these only fan models have kind of, like.

[Patrick]

How do I put it?

[Caller Discussing OnlyFans]

Like, in basketball terms? Like, let's say like, a street player is really nice at playing, like, playing on the street. So people go to watch this guy or, like, try to see him hoop and stuff. But now he. You. You gotta charge it. Like, he. He in the league now, so you got to pay to watch him play. So, like, all the good players are, like, moving up to only fans, and it's messing up everything else

[Patrick]

again, almost. It's like you do. You. You a big idea guy. You just can't put it all together, man.

[Caller Discussing OnlyFans]

Exactly. Key there.

[Gene]

No, not today, man.

[Mike]

Nah, he definitely has his audience.

[Hospital Pharmacy Worker]

I knew.

[Caller Discussing OnlyFans]

I thought Key was gonna with that one.

[Caller Discussing Love]

I'm not gonna lie. Bye.

[Patrick]

Oh, my God.

[Mike]

All right, Y' all a good one, man.

[Caller with Joint Story]

All right.

[Caller Discussing OnlyFans]

Y' all too.

[Roy]

All right.

[Patrick]

Yo, yo.

[Mike]

Holy.

[Patrick]

Said somebody turn down my headphones.

[Gene]

Yo, yo.

[Caller Talking About Society]

It's a echo.

[Mike]

No, no, no.

[Gene]

You just.

[Patrick]

He probably the loudest person we had on today.

[Mike]

He's loud, and I think he answered, like, five questions tweaked out.

[Caller Talking About Society]

It's. I'm mad about, bro.

[Roy]

All right.

[Mike]

What's something that's ruining society?

[Caller Talking About Society]

Which one I should choose, though? I play mad mad at them.

[Patrick]

Just go off, brother. Just keep it short.

[Caller Talking About Society]

I bet. Boom. I just see you these with these scooters, bro.

[Roy]

Okay.

[Mike]

Like the lime scooters.

[Caller Talking About Society]

Like, they just. Nah. The electric drones. Like, you ever just driving same. You hit the corner. Bam. Scooter, bro. Get out the room.

[Patrick]

Okay, okay. Next. Next one.

[Caller Talking About Society]

The next one. I'm gonna have to say, damn, I forgot which ones I put for sure. But I'm smoking right now. My fault. Y' all got me.

[Patrick]

This problem right here.

[Gene]

Y' all got the.

[Patrick]

Got to put the weed down. You can't even remember what you typed 20 minutes ago.

[Caller Talking About Society]

That's not the point.

[Patrick]

Look, it's literally on your phone.

[Caller Talking About Society]

No, it's not just go to the messages. I mean, the messages ain't nothing. It's just. It's just say, call. And y' all responded to one thing.

[Patrick]

You can't look at his answers. I don't know.

[Mike]

Okay, let's see if you can. Let's see. We. We'll have some be give you your answers.

[Patrick]

We got you.

[Mike]

They're just gonna hit call to all your answers.

[Caller Talking About Society]

Ah, see? See?

[Patrick]

See now?

[Gene]

Yeah,

[Caller Talking About Society]

bro. All right, cool. See, I'm going crazy. Look. All right,

[Mike]

Go ahead, go off, go off, go off.

[Caller Talking About Society]

Look. GameStop. GameStop. That's number one, bro. That's. I should have put that as number one. GameStop, bro. You get these mad games, bro. Hey, what ten dollars. What we doing? What you give him, though, bro? You get him a whole P4, and you probably get. You get a whole P4. And it got mad games on it. You tell them like, yo, bro, you could have this account. It got mad games on it, Bro. They don't care about none of that $10. Thank you. Bye. Get on my face.

[Caller with Joint Story]

Face.

[Caller Talking About Society]

Boom. Black people. No, I said black people. No, no, no.

[Caller with Joint Story]

Yeah.

[Caller Talking About Society]

Is up the society, bro. Y cuz, you know, and y' all

[Caller Discussing Love]

know what I'm talking about.

[Caller Talking About Society]

Not black people,

[Caller from South Carolina]

bro.

[Mike]

All right, what else?

[Caller Talking About Society]

And every. Everybody that be like. Like, you tell them a little piece of information, bro, and they hit you with the. Yeah, but I already know. No, you don't. All right, cool. Another one. White vans. I'm talking about these little. I'm talking about work white vans, bro. Like, it just up the society, bro. Still to this day. Hey, you see a white van right now, bro? You're gonna be like, all right, bro. What that white van on, bro? I bet he. He gone cool and that buy police cars. I hate all y'. All.

[Mike]

Do you feel better? I feel like you got a lot, a lot off your chest.

[Caller Talking About Society]

Nah, I don't really. And, oh, and one more y ends them part of, too, but them. Them the real ones that really up. Cause they really just slow, bro.

[Mike]

What's your message to all y ends right now?

[Caller Talking About Society]

Chill out, bro. Y' all didn't sit down somewhere, bro. Y' all gotta chill. We wasn't even that wild. Switches. But we didn't have no switches.

[Mike]

In the room.

[Patrick]

Yeah, the.

[Caller Talking About Society]

Mike, come on.

[Patrick]

I mean, that was just. Continue your list. Mike laughed at your last one. And you thought multiple people's in the room where my else go?

[Gene]

All right, bro.

[Mike]

You have a good one, bro.

[Caller Talking About Society]

All right, bro.

[Mike]

All right, Pillow.

[Roy]

Yo, yo, what's good?

[Mike]

Welcome to Crash, Jamie's podcast.

[Roy]

Hey, man, appreciate that.

[Mike]

All right, I got a question for you. What's up? What's something that's ruining our society?

[Roy]

Ah, Jerry Jones, man. Jerry Jones. He's ruining our society. Single handedly. He's doing it.

[Mike]

Care to explain?

[Roy]

Real passionate about this. Yeah, man. So I'm. I'm a Cowboys fan, man. And I, unfortunately, I'm a Cowboys fan for a living, you know what I'm saying? Like, that's what I do. That's my job. And, you know, his livelihood is in my hand a lot, you know, and this Michael Parsons trade really got me up his trade request because it's like, what do you got against, bro? Like, Tony Romo ain't never had to deal with this. Jason Whitney never had to deal with this. He's really setting us back, you know what I'm saying? Like, we've been. We've been trying to progress for so many years, years. And this send us back by not trying to pay like, you already own slaves, bro. You pretty much a slave master, bro. You already own. Just pay the what they.

[Caller from South Carolina]

What they.

[Roy]

What they worth, bro. And we got to go through like, bro, like, come on. Michael Parson's writing books, writing books on Twitter and talking about how you feel so disrespected by the Cowboys. Like, he's one of the greatest players in the NFL, if not history, bro. Pay that, man. What are we going through all these charades for, bro? Bro, I don't broke three TVs tweaking about this. You know, this is setting me back financially, bro. I can't do it no more.

[Patrick]

So what's your final message to Jerry Jones?

[Roy]

I. I really can't say that. You know what I'm saying? My final message, him, I really can't say because I ain't trying to get y' all canceled on myself,

[Caller with Unprofessional Work Story]

Bro.

[Patrick]

Nobody. You got a very generic voice, bro. Go off, bro.

[Caller Talking About Society]

Oh, no, no, no.

[Roy]

My voice is actually very, very popular. My voice definitely recognized. Yeah. You know, I'm cooked if I say what I say. Yeah. So I'm.

[Caller Talking About Society]

I'mma.

[Roy]

I'mma just say I need him to go away. Just go away. Any means necessary. I won't ask no questions.

[Caller Discussing Love]

You know what I'm saying?

[Roy]

Any reason necessary. I just need him to go away.

[Patrick]

No, go away is crazy, bro.

[Roy]

I. I ain't saying. I just need you to go away, man. That's it. No, no, Questions.

[Patrick]

You want him to wear the white

[Caller from South Carolina]

jerseys, you know what I'm saying?

[Roy]

You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying?

[Caller with Joint Story]

Fly hot.

[Jimmy]

Yeah.

[Mike]

About the way. Jersey.

[Patrick]

Yeah, I got you. You want the white jerseys. I got you, bro.

[Roy]

You know what I'm saying?

[Patrick]

Or to go home, Jersey. Send them home. But, you know, bro on everything, but. Yeah, Jerry ain't going. Never mind, man.

[Roy]

I think I'm gonna live to 150, bro. I'm pissed.

[Patrick]

The thing is, Jerry Jones like, it.

[Caller Discussing Love]

I.

[Patrick]

He's just an old Southern dude, but, like, sometimes when he talks, it does give, like. Like, plantation vibes. The one time I really. He gave plantation vibes, he landed his helicopter while they were practicing. Like, this is. That was so crazy.

[Roy]

Yeah, that's kind of crazy.

[Patrick]

The other one.

[Roy]

Why are you flexing on so hard?

[Mike]

The other one was when he was in that picture of the segregation thing.

[Patrick]

Oh, yeah, yeah. You know, he said it before.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Patrick]

He was, like, one of the few people that say, like, people weren't gonna play if they took a knee. And he made, like, his team take a knee before the national anthem, like, during that time.

[Caller Discussing Love]

Yeah.

[Patrick]

Jerry don't play that, man. Jerry ain't hiding, bro. Jerry definitely said it a couple times that in this.

[Roy]

A secret wing at Illuminati that we don't know nothing about, bro, that he got some. He got some connections, bro. Something.

[Patrick]

Some white trucks gonna pull up.

[Roy]

Hey, hey. No cap.

[Caller from South Carolina]

Hey.

[Roy]

They already sent the black vans, man, from people gonna recognize my voice. I had did a. I made a diss track to Jerry, like, last year, and I had called him a couple things, man. They had. They had took my page for, like, three months.

[Patrick]

Oh, damn.

[Roy]

Yeah, it took my page down for, like, three months, man.

[Patrick]

Is it on itunes?

[Roy]

N. I didn't even know itunes, man. It's on. It was on Tik Tok and YouTube, but, like I said, they. They took that. That gone. I think it might be on Instagram still, if they haven't got that yet. But he already sent the black van, so I'll be very careful about what I say.

[Caller Talking About Society]

Now.

[Caller Discussing Love]

Now.

[Patrick]

Okay, we have. Send us a link.

[Roy]

Yeah, I got you. I'm g. Send that to you now.

[Mike]

All right, bro. You have a good one.

[Roy]

All right. All right, Y' all take it easy, bro.

[Patrick]

You too, Roy. I. I don't want to do the train because I feel like we kind of missed it. The top, unmanliest things to do. I'm not going to say what the

[Mike]

trend was really what was like, the top. What was it? Top gayest.

[Patrick]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mike]

Top gayest things.

[Patrick]

But there was. There was one I saw all. Getting rescued by a lifeguard is crazy.

[Mike]

If you need help, bro.

[Patrick]

No, it's crazy, bro. Drown, bro. Okay. What do you want to do? Twitter week?

[Mike]

Yeah, go ahead.

[Gene]

Okay.

[Patrick]

Just a. This is a good one to start off with. Just a reminder that everything you're going through right now is your own fault. Just let y' all know. Okay. Question.

[Caller Discussing Love]

Question.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Patrick]

Why don't killers hide the bodies in cemeteries?

[Mike]

I don't know, right?

[Patrick]

Had they ever found somebody on top of somebody else? Hey, hey.

[Mike]

It's two in here.

[Caller Discussing Love]

All right.

[Caller with Unprofessional Work Story]

Quit. I quit.

[Patrick]

Quit, Quit. I quit. I quit.

[Caller with Joint Story]

Okay.

[Patrick]

Somebody said STD so high right now. Can't even have phone sex. Bid might give me the hearing aids.

[Gene]

So stupid.

[Mike]

You say big.

[Patrick]

Say all right. Same one.

[Mike]

Big.

[Patrick]

Ain't got

[Unidentified Male]

be.

[Patrick]

Ain't got no headboard and gonna get mad. Cause I asked which way I left la.

[Mike]

That is a question, though.

[Patrick]

All over the bed.

[Mike]

But that's just. That just makes the scene look really crazy. Because that means the one. The bed might be in the middle of the room.

[Patrick]

Yeah, some people got their like.

[Mike]

But that also means bed not made either. That means pillows. Pillows all over the way.

[Patrick]

Yeah, that's what it is, the bed.

[Mike]

But it can be confusing sometimes. Times. Because there are times where you ever just lay, like, in the middle of the day. You ever lay on your bed just randomly, like, I'm the wrong way? You might be opposite diagonally type of.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Mike]

On your phone, scrolling through ig.

[Patrick]

Yeah, yeah, no, I get that.

[Gene]

Feet up. Kicking.

[Patrick]

That's how you wait till the person lay down. That dude. Childish. Why are you in her bed before.

[Gene]

All right.

[Patrick]

Somebody said, I hate when chicks call their daughter Matt Mini Me. Ain't no way that baby a hoe. Okay, next one. Okay.

[Mike]

I feel like if you're not doing good in life. Not the whole part of part. If you're not doing good in life, you shouldn't call your kid your Mini Me.

[Patrick]

Yes, correct.

[Caller from South Carolina]

Yeah, yeah.

[Patrick]

Not your Mini Me. Like, he looks like you, but he's also. I guess y' all both unemployed, so maybe he is a minute me. This one dude is going viral for. He beat 15 murders. That's just it. But the thing is, like, with me, like, I'm all about free. Everybody. Unless they did like, some like, everybody. But listen, can I say but damn. Unless they did like, some sexual crazy or. Anywho. You right. But Anywho, but if a accused of 15 murders, if I'm the judge, I'm sitting them down for at least a little bit, you know what I'm saying? Like, yeah, you beat all 15 of these murders, but you going to sit down for two years because what are you involved in that you exactly the main suspect.

[Jimmy]

For 15.

[Mike]

For 15.

[Patrick]

Nah, we not doing that, man.

[Mike]

Either that or somebody really hates him.

[Patrick]

In South Africa, they're starting to inject rhino horns with radioactive material to curb poaching, bruh. Like, I. We watch a lot of movies.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Patrick]

Like, how many times is it gonna take for, like, them to be doing all this and then accidentally give, like, a gorilla, like, human instincts, you know what I'm saying?

[Mike]

They have to do that because the people that poach the, the rhinos, yeah, they. They cut their horns, right? And they say, like, obviously they drink stuff out of it that it makes like, like, it doesn't. It doesn't. It doesn't do any of this, but it gives them, like a. A crazy libido and stuff like that. Or makes them, like, stronger and stuff like that.

[Patrick]

This will stop it.

[Mike]

This is doing it. So it's like I'm poisoning your. So if you do this, you're gonna be still soft and dead.

[Gene]

So that might kill the rhino.

[Patrick]

That's what I'm saying. Radioactive village. Let's just stop poaching, though. I don't get why they alone allow people to poach in the first place.

[Mike]

They don't allow people. It's the illegal poaching.

[Patrick]

That's what I'm saying. They allow it, bro.

[Caller from South Carolina]

Some.

[Mike]

Some places there is rumors. But I'm just saying, though, I'm saying

[Patrick]

I think those people not going in the wild and doing it like that is set up to where they can get away with that. So they need to crack down on that. Tired of these. This girl tweeted my mad as on 2k. Okay, my bad. My mad as on 2k. Looked me dead in my eyes and said, where's the file, baby? I don't even know what the going on. And I wanna, I, I. You know, I got that tweet to say this, that there's been a time that I've been playing a game in front of a girl and, like, my teammates literally sold me. And I was talking to my teammates like, man, y' all gotta get in the right spots. I gotta make sure y' all get y', all, man. And like that, that. And I lost my man on a buzzer beater. He Had a buzzer beater, and she was in front of me, and I had to. Usually I'd be like, man, what the.

[Jimmy]

What the.

[Patrick]

But she was like. She's like, what happened, man? I was, like, just lost.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Patrick]

I had to play it off, and I sent the controller down. Like, I don't even. Come on. I'm about to go read a book.

[Mike]

I. I stopped playing a video game when I feel like it's taking control of me. Like, emotional, unfortunately.

[Patrick]

Yeah.

[Mike]

That's when I was like, okay, it's time to put the game down. It's like, if I get really mad, this really up, like, my day. Because that. Especially when. If you're in a relationship and, like, that you can't let something else annoy you and then say your girlfriend might do something, like, a little bit annoying.

[Patrick]

Yeah.

[Mike]

And now you were like, shut the up.

[Patrick]

Yeah. I would never say.

[Mike]

I would never say. I would never say that.

[Patrick]

I don't know about you.

[Mike]

I would never say that either.

[Patrick]

All right. A girl tweeted, this also falls under the top 40.

[Caller Discussing OnlyFans]

Okay.

[Patrick]

Unmanliest things a man can do. A girl tweeted 30 inches with, like, the blowing smoke face, like, though. You know what I'm talking about? The blowing smoke emoji, like, it looked like. You know what I'm talking about?

[Mike]

Oh, yeah, okay.

[Patrick]

Yeah, she just said 30 inches. Like, is she impressed by it or whatever? I do respond and say that got a monster.

[Mike]

What the.

[Patrick]

She tweeted back, brother. I'm talking about my wig. Okay, last one, last one, last one, last one.

[Mike]

That's so crazy.

[Patrick]

A dude said, when you nut so fast, you have to watch her page for sneak dissing. And a dude quoted that tweet and said, on me, I gave this girl some whack, dude first go round. And she tweeted after she left. I think this just gave me some

[Caller Discussing Love]

good.

[Caller with Joint Story]

Say.

[Patrick]

He had a big click.

[Mike]

All right. I couldn't imagine being subtweeted like that.

[Patrick]

No, that'd be crazy. Oh, okay. Okay. My bad. Last one. I keep saying that. Some dude said, last time I popped the perk, I was in front of 10 hoes digging in my ass.

[Jimmy]

Never.

[Mike]

What the. But there was that one clip dude, too, of. There was that clip of that player or the coach, Deontay Jones.

[Patrick]

Oh, no, he's a player and a coach, though. Deontay Jones. I saw it on a 520 podcast as he was, like, legit.

[Caller with Joint Story]

He.

[Patrick]

Some people are like that, though. He dug in his ass all the way in his Ass. You can literally see him. And then he brought it right up to his nose. But some people, like really check to see if they dirty like that. But ass, like up his ass. And then sniffed it like, no.

[Jimmy]

But then after that, the wiped his hand.

[Mike]

Like, all that was trifling, bro.

[Jimmy]

All over the wall.

[Mike]

That's trifling.

[Patrick]

If you go to the airplane, that

[Mike]

because he smelled it and then that means something was on his hand for him to wipe it on.

[Patrick]

If you go to the airport, bro, you'll change the way you wash your hands and you move, bro. Just pay attention in the airport, like, bro, the line is full, but the line to the sinks is never full.

[Roy]

Never.

[Patrick]

The line to the urine, bro. I'm telling you, people literally pissing all over their hands. Grab their luggage, grab their kids. Go get a water from the stand. Go sit on the same seat, y'.

[Mike]

All.

[Patrick]

Plug their charger in. And then I literally knew the same dude we saw that didn't wash his hands. He sat by me on the playing and he started talking to me. I just didn't talk to him. I don't talk to that don't wash their hands.

[Mike]

I. I've been a big fist bumper now.

[Patrick]

That's true.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah. A lot of fist bumps. You can't. You can't. Jean, why are you dressed like a mime?

[Gene]

I went golf.

[Mike]

Where are you coming from? This is your golf off.

[Gene]

Me and cuz went golfing today. I heard my hand and I think I got arthritis this young. Yeah, Sean Jean,

[Patrick]

that look like he make pizzas at a bisexual restaurant. We got the two way pizzas coming up. How do you want it?

[Gene]

How do you want it?

[Patrick]

Beat or no meat? We only do half beat pizzas here, man. Go to the straight pizza shop then.

[Mike]

So we're gonna do another segment minute. This is just going to be us reading the YouTube comments from the last episode. So doing this to encourage some of y' all to leave comments and, you know, we'll read it on the pod. So the first one is strawberry milk. This is from G. Hondo. Strawberry milk. Milk. Milk. Is it milk?

[Patrick]

Go ahead, go ahead.

[Roy]

All right.

[Mike]

Strawberry milk is the best flavor milk though, hands down. I ain't never ran into a. So I'm ready, Patrick. Oh, I ain't never ran from a so I'm ready, Pat. But I haven't had it in like 10 years. Dirty gang. I'm just saying, though, drinking in front of you and Mike. Pill emoji, Laughing emoji.

[Patrick]

Who let him out of the Six person classroom hearing. Mike pronounced the B in debt depth.

[Mike]

Yeah, I said to be you still. That's fine.

[Patrick]

But she's there.

[Roy]

I don't care.

[Mike]

I'd rather, I'd rather do that than add a letter that's not there, you know?

[Patrick]

No, that is funny as I'm gonna start saying pomonia. It's there.

[Mike]

Nah, bro. Y' all a little biased towards women. Y' all will call a dude a ham or call him out if he's cheating or calling females. But a female will get on and tell y' all the most vile. And y' all just. And for y' all to just be on her side, y' all will be on the girly sometimes. Y' all be a little girly sometimes. God damn.

[Patrick]

Yes.

[Mike]

That's code 524-01- yeah.

[Patrick]

Also like the reason I want to let y' all know, reason we do this, because part of it that's actually, that's our real beliefs. I don't know if y' all know it. Y' all think we faking or some. That's actually our belief. But also we know who the man masses are. We're like, I think we're like 75, 25 male to woman ratio.

[Mike]

But I think in that sense it's okay to say it though.

[Patrick]

But no, but obviously we talk to the masses and some of y' all need to be over corrected. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, some of y' all are way too red pillage to be listening to us. So I feel like our job and we have like a lot of dark humor on here.

[Mike]

And it's a double. It's a double standard. Standard. If in real life, if a girl got on my nerves, right? Or say something I didn't like, me, Mike Seobu would just ignore her and just kind of move on.

[Patrick]

Yes. I'll call my sister.

[Mike]

Yeah, if it's a dude. You can get a little more aggressive with a dude.

[Patrick]

Yeah, I don't care about her.

[Mike]

And I think the people that complain, complain about like that are just like, tell the dudes ought to be on the call to stand up for themselves more then. Yeah, yeah.

[Patrick]

Somebody said, yo, as a 5, 6 white guy, am I allowed to rock the merch? Of course. Just stop saying the N word. That's all he asked.

[Caller Talking About Society]

What?

[Mike]

Wait, is he not. He's not black?

[Patrick]

I don't know, bro, but I. I'm looking at his comments. He might have said some. He keeps saying. He said y N in the comments before. It's Common history. Don't say that no more, brother. I don't know if you know what the. The Nigerian giggler. The Nigerian giggler got 51 likes.

[Mike]

Really? Okay, there's one more I want to read. I can't even find. It was the dude. Okay, here we go. This is from life. Pv4ex. Whatever. Ek bruh. Don't talk about world economics as you know anything about it. You have internal slash national debt and you yourself say that we know the IQ of America, which ironically includes you as well. The US national debt is the total amount of the US government owes. What the US government owes mostly from borrowing to cover budget def. Deficits. It's mostly owned by the domestic entities like individual banks and federal programs, not the other countries. Though some may own and may own. You got me spelling right. Own it via bonds. So it's not some international debt.

[Roy]

Right?

[Mike]

This is the funny. This is the funny part is the people's comments. Under his comments it. So he said it's okay, bro. Relax. Another person said, easy there, tiger.

[Patrick]

No, for real.

[Caller Talking About Society]

No.

[Patrick]

I got a question for him though.

[Roy]

Yeah.

[Patrick]

Since we want to get all into all this, let's see how smart you are. When is the last time you touched a woman? Oh my God. How about that?

[Mike]

The thing that's. It's funny about those comments. Sometimes again we are talking in real time. Sometimes I don't really have time to sit down down and research every topic. I feel like. Or like I'm okay. I'm okay being wrong as well. Like even when that says international, I didn't know at that time.

[Patrick]

Yeah, again, like if. If that's what you take from this podcast, then you have a comprehension problem. If you watch this podcast and then you end up on Google. Because I know you got that from Google talking about national debt and like when and where it comes from. That means you're not comprehending what this podcast is truly about.

[Mike]

He's just a contributor to the national debt.

[Patrick]

Exact. The national dumbasses. But. But like also like saying that it's just like, bro, we. The whole point of the US talking about that was asked like who we owe and it was like a joke. Like we already pay taxes and stuff like that is about Americans giving money to the government. Period.

[Mike]

Yeah, that was the point. That was the whole buyer Venmo and PayPal.

[Patrick]

You missed that one. Big smarty dumb pants idiot, bro.

[Mike]

All right, there's another thing I thought about this weekend. Do you remember the era when dudes used to be humping the floors?

[Patrick]

Yeah.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Patrick]

Hitting the baby cry.

[Mike]

Yeah. Make the baby cry.

[Patrick]

The baby waited to cry baby.

[Gene]

Oh, yeah.

[Patrick]

What the.

[Mike]

No, that's.

[Patrick]

That's terrible.

[Mike]

Making the baby cry.

[Patrick]

Miss the baby cry baby.

[Caller Discussing Love]

No.

[Mike]

I feel like dudes back then, like the way the court women were so different. It's like. It's almost like being a peacock, I guess. You know, like the. For the longest, I thought the. The good looking peacocks were the woman peacocks.

[Gene]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Mike]

They're the man.

[Gene]

Right.

[Mike]

So you know, they do the things with the feathers and dudes used to be gyrating hips and like legit chest landing first on the floor.

[Patrick]

It was about who could dance.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Patrick]

Like, I mean, like, I don't know know what area y' all came from, but like the. That could skate the best.

[Mike]

Yep.

[Patrick]

Dance the best. Could jump the highest. Like that's what it go off of.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Patrick]

Not who pants the tightest things be having on tight pants and them big ass balenciagas. This look like that. Stop wearing big shirts with tight pants and big shoes.

[Mike]

There is a lot like this. A lot of unproportionate dressing.

[Patrick]

Yes. Proportions like. I feel like we in the easiest area to dress right now. Your proportions just have to be good. You literally can put on what you want. We're in the air. Like nothing has to match. Nothing has to be the same color. Just like proportions like don't. That's all you got to worry about.

[Mike]

Like a gene with like a horse jockey.

[Unidentified Male]

Look.

[Patrick]

Like an artist that only paint vaginas was many different clitorises all over the world. And I've actually combined every clitoris to. I call this one the clitic, the final clit.

[Mike]

Something else I realized this weekend was that. N. The artist is crazy.

[Patrick]

No, the artist. Yes, I understand you like, have you ever been drawn before?

[Mike]

My love N. Using that to get

[Patrick]

girls to that is real predator vibes. Yes. I call this one roast beef.

[Mike]

Nigga use actual roast beef.

[Patrick]

Oh, that be crazy. That's sculpture now that be fire.

[Unidentified Male]

Man.

[Gene]

I used to get in trouble. I used to like carve vaginas into like my ice cream.

[Patrick]

Ask and lick it. I guess it's. What else you going to do with it?

[Mike]

I don't know. There's some. There's some weird dudes out here that do more than lick it.

[Patrick]

What the ice cream?

[Mike]

Yeah, if you carve. If you carve a vagina.

[Patrick]

Oh, yeah. Ain't that cold though. Defeat the purpose into. That's a bigger question. He wants cold vagina. Lock him up.

[Caller Discussing Love]

No,

[Unidentified Male]

no.

[Mike]

For Real put a pocket in the fridge.

[Patrick]

No, you see pocket in the freezer. That's already crazy. Not as cold. Nah, baby.

[Mike]

I don't know. Sex toys for guys. I think it's just like. It's just I can't judge because I can't kink shame somebody.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Mike]

But it just seems. I just can't relate to being that far gone. I don't mean I say sex toys in general. Right pocket. And like sex dolls. Yeah. I feel like you're. You're too far gone at that point.

[Patrick]

You're with the soul now.

[Hospital Pharmacy Worker]

Yeah.

[Jimmy]

Yeah.

[Patrick]

You're giving your soul to something that isn't alive. You're basically giving life to something that's lifeless. And you're doing whatever you want with that. So I feel like it opens up different avenues.

[Mike]

It's like a gate with them.

[Gene]

You would definitely a robot if you got that.

[Caller Talking About Society]

Yeah.

[Patrick]

And if you a robot then that means like you'll take something anytime you want. And like when you get used to that, I feel like. Like this like.

[Mike]

No, I know what you mean.

[Patrick]

You need to be stopped.

[Roy]

It's like.

[Mike]

It's just too much on the freak meter to do like the. The super realistic set. All sex dolls.

[Patrick]

Yeah.

[Mike]

And like again the robots is again you. You want that control so bad in during sex. It's like I want this person to do whatever I want. I just think again it's a gateway to just doing more weird shit.

[Patrick]

I just want this. What? This how we get rid of all the freaks. Like the real freaks. There's people out here that's like they on the borderline of being.

[Roy]

Yeah.

[Mike]

You just do some freaky but it's harmless freaky.

[Patrick]

They gotta.

[Caller Talking About Society]

They got.

[Patrick]

The ex girl bought them a pocket so they use it. But they would have never bought it. I want the government to make every pocket and robot vagina cut a dick off as soon as they put it in there. And then make that public knowledge and then still do it.

[Mike]

There's a chance. Are you playing roulette with it?

[Patrick]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mike]

Like all of these 500 sex robots Canada will cut your dick off.

[Caller Talking About Society]

Yes.

[Patrick]

And make it just like. And just watch the news every night. John Patterson for 50 seconds. But that's victim of the dick cutter off.

[Mike]

But if the people still buy it. But if the people still buy it with knowing that they need to be put on the list. Because that's also.

[Patrick]

That's what I'm saying.

[Mike]

That's also super, super freaky.

[Patrick]

That's what we need to. We need to get it. Get them before they get started. Like, we need to just start randomly chopping off dicks. And it's gonna be a few. There's gonna be a few innocent dicks in there that get chopped off, but it's worth it. It's gonna be a. That's trying it for the first time. Let me see what this. Like, and he get his dick chopped off.

[Target Worker]

He got.

[Patrick]

He gotta call his family. Like, I ain't doing. Man, I'm so sorry. You the only boy in the family.

[Mike]

What you doing? You have to go to the hospital for that too.

[Patrick]

No, that'd be crazy.

[Mike]

And then some people probably see, because I would imagine if you got. If your dick got chopped off, you probably be on crutches or something. Or a wheelchair. Wheelchair. Something would impede the way you walk, right? And then people are gonna, you know, notice what's going on. Like, hey, you injure your leg or something like that. And it's like, what can you really say when both of your legs look normal and you're in a wheelchair? Yeah, you definitely have to put, like, a cast on or something.

[Patrick]

Yeah, yeah, you gotta put a cast that come out. Like, they gonna be doing that. Like, bro, doc, you did not have to pull out the microscope for my surgery. I ain't never deal with like, doc,

[Mike]

since you're gonna reattach it, can you add a couple?

[Roy]

Now?

[Patrick]

That'd be crazy. See somebody.

[Mike]

You might as well at that point,

[Patrick]

somebody over there like this, You ain't gonna feel nothing. But it's big, bro.

[Mike]

I heard that is the thing, though.

[Patrick]

That's crazy.

[Mike]

Like, the people that get the. The penis enlargement is like. It stops you from kind of having the real, like. Like erect erection sensation. And even, like, sometimes it can take away from the sex sensation.

[Gene]

What's the point?

[Mike]

Yeah, or sometimes you can't really get on hard.

[Patrick]

That's what I'm saying. I wouldn't. I wouldn't care.

[Mike]

Nah, not that much. Or maybe I had like a micro.

[Caller Talking About Society]

Wait.

[Jimmy]

What they adding? Like, pause. Like, what they added to it, though?

[Gene]

Like.

[Jimmy]

Because I ain't trying to lose feeling, but, like, what's. What's the number?

[Patrick]

We probably like some, like, thigh meters.

[Mike]

My Internet.

[Gene]

How many inches are they adding to?

[Mike]

My Internet search is about to be disgusting. I don't know what ads I'm about

[Patrick]

to get right now.

[Mike]

How many. How should I ask this?

[Patrick]

Like, how do you get. How do you get a dick enlargement?

[Jimmy]

What's the average enlargement?

[Mike]

Are they Adding asking average enlargement sizes. I'm saying, like enlargement.

[Patrick]

The asking. The average enlargement size is correct.

[Jimmy]

I ain't typing in.

[Patrick]

I know, but it's a crazy question.

[Gene]

Like.

[Mike]

Yeah, I feel like that's the least. So they do silicone implants. A. A new generation of. Yes. They say fat grafting. Kind of like the same thing they kind of do with anything else.

[Patrick]

Yeah. Right. Any other p. I know somebody. Last time we did this, somebody got mad like, yo spent 20 minutes talking about dicks. And I'm like, look who's counting. How you know. We was talking about it for 20 minutes.

[Mike]

Sense also. It says also like to have realistic expectations. So anybody that thinking about doing doesn't really increase how you look erect. It just increases how you look flaccid.

[Patrick]

Got it. So you become. You become a shower.

[Caller from South Carolina]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mike]

You become a shore.

[Gene]

It's for the growers.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah.

[Patrick]

Got it.

[Mike]

Because it only. It basically will get you your. Your flaccid dick to your normal.

[Patrick]

So you just have the same thing all day.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jimmy]

Ain't no shock factory.

[Patrick]

Listen, baby, it ain't big, but it ain't going nowhere.

[Mike]

This is the floor.

[Patrick]

Four, four, four. Another. They going two, eight. You know what I'm saying? I'm four. Jab, jab, jab.

[Mike]

Miranda jab can with a matt. Yeah. It's never going to get any better, but never get it worse.

[Patrick]

You know what I'm saying?

[Mike]

Some people want that, though.

[Patrick]

Some people. Some people do. That's a good thing. You know what I'm saying? Some people can't stay at their max potential for that long, but we know

[Jimmy]

what that means,

[Gene]

and that takes us to our ad for the day.

[Mike]

I think this is the end of the picture anyway. Appreciate y' all for listening. Make sure you guys cop the merch again. We are running low in sizes, so make sure you guys cop that. Subscribe to the Patreon. Shout out to Gene. Yeah, you guys. Both you guys, anything to Shout out.

[Jimmy]

Shout out. Shout out. Everybody that's listening on the audio side. And y' all got some. Hey, earlier. I ain't know about that.

[Mike]

He's already part of that.

[Patrick]

He said y' all too. Yeah.

[Gene]

Go tap into Carefree Entertainment, man. The roaches drop the music. Yup. Thirteen Gene out of here.

[Patrick]

I with it. I ain't got nothing really to say. Me and Mike both gonna start streaming. Mike is already streaming. Go check out. Follow us on Twitch. We'll have more Twitch news coming soon. We getting our PCs revved up. Maybe do some IRL streaming soon, so be on the lookout for that. Go again. Go get your merch, bro.

[Caller from South Carolina]

Bro.

[Patrick]

Send them. I ain't see. Obviously, when we send them out, they'll be out in a couple weeks. Send us a pic so we can repost them. If you ugly, keep your face out of it. Hey, I keep my face out of. You know what I'm saying? I don't even think I'm ugly, but I keep my face out of it. Just to show y'. All.

[Mike]

You might feel like you look ugly in that situation.

[Patrick]

No, I feel like I look pretty good.

[Mike]

You never look at a picture and be like, I don't really like the way I look in this, but that's

[Patrick]

the only comments I get from the. From the page is that either I'm ugly or not. That's what y' all really realize, man. But I With y'.

[Mike]

All.

[Patrick]

Not all of y', all, but it's 92 of y'.

[Caller with Joint Story]

All.

[Patrick]

I think I with.

[Mike]

That's. That's. That's good to say.

[Patrick]

There'll be like 8% of people that like, literally with us, but, like, I just can't vibe with them. Yeah.

[Mike]

Yeah. And I don't have to, like, I think just because somebody supports the podcast and if you're. If they're a terrible person, I still don't with them.

[Patrick]

Like, Ball Johnson, man, you. That's my dog. But shout out to him. Shout out to everybody on the Patreon. Y' all keep running up. Also, shoot us ideas, questions, whatever y' all want to see. We want to. To keep the community involved.

[Mike]

Peace.

[Roy]

Peace.