Mercy Chan (3:57)

For so much of my life, I Didn't get that.

Francis Chan (3:59)

Even as a pastor, I didn't understand,

Mercy Chan (4:01)

like, this is what God wants from me. And even when I would get alone with God, I felt like I was trying to reach up and bring him down. Come on, please, please, please forgive me. Of the things that I've done. I'm sorry. I didn't get up that early or whatever it is. And it's like, can I please just get a little bit of you? I didn't see him as this loving father who's like, you know, desiring me. And it's weird because I know, like, God is so holy. I would never challenge his power. I would never wake up one morning and go, I actually think I'm more

Francis Chan (4:42)

powerful than he is.

Mercy Chan (4:43)

That's never entered my mind. I never think. I actually. I'm very intelligent. I. I want to challenge you. I would never think that. But when it comes to love,

Francis Chan (4:59)

for

Mercy Chan (5:00)

so much of my life, I had this, like, I don't know if he loves me as much as I love

Francis Chan (5:06)

Mercy,

Mercy Chan (5:09)

because I know what I feel for that girl. But there was, like, this side of me that goes, does he. I didn't believe he loved me like that, desired me like that. Even though the Bible said that. Even though the Bible says no, I am the one that's knocking on the door. But I'd be in this room, like, trying to get to him somehow, this holy God.

Francis Chan (5:40)

It's only been the last few years where I've been understanding his love and his grace and his desire for me. And I've been learning that

Mercy Chan (5:55)

I don't have to reach up to him, because if I believe the Scriptures,

Francis Chan (6:01)

I mean,

Mercy Chan (6:01)

Jesus says in John 14:17, he says, he talks about the spirit of truth whom the world cannot see, because it

Francis Chan (6:09)

neither sees, cannot receive, because it neither

Mercy Chan (6:11)

sees him nor knows him. You know him, for he dwells with you and will be in you. Okay, that's fascinating.

Francis Chan (6:25)

Okay.

Mercy Chan (6:25)

Sometimes when we talk Holy Spirit, it's like, oh, Holy Spirit this, Holy Spirit that. We're talking about a member of the Trinity. Holy, Holy, Holy God. And they're saying, holy God is actually going to enter into your body. God himself is here, and he's in me. And a few verses later, Jesus says in verse 23, if anyone loves me, he will keep my word, and my father will love, love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him. So. So if I believe, if I tremble at the word of God and I

Francis Chan (7:12)

go, whoa, God said that.

Mercy Chan (7:16)

Then when I get alone with God, I Don't have to. It's. It's a lack of faith that says, please come down here.

Francis Chan (7:25)

When his word says, did you not believe me? I'm inside of you. The Father and Son have made their home with me. The Holy Spirit lives in me, And I don't look up to heaven like I'm trying to bring him down. He's already told me, God, you're in this room. You're with me. And your word says that you're rich in mercy. That means, like, you long to forgive. Like you're rich in that. Like, you're.

Mercy Chan (8:14)

You're going. Okay, Francis, just come. Come, come, come, come. Please, please confess things, because I just want to. I want to forgive you. I mean, for years, if some of you guys had followed my teaching, you'd hear about how I talk about the throne of God, and I believe all of that still. And now there's lightning and thunder and fire and the angels, 100 million angels, and they're covering themselves up and they're screaming out his holiness. It's like, wow, that's a holy throne. But for somehow. Somehow I missed that. Hebrews 4, 416 or 14. 6.

Francis Chan (8:50)

I really missed it.

Mercy Chan (8:51)

I think it's.

Francis Chan (8:51)

416

Mercy Chan (8:55)

says that. That when we come before him. Yeah, 4 16.

Francis Chan (9:02)

Let us then with confidence, draw near

Mercy Chan (9:05)

to the throne of grace that we

Francis Chan (9:08)

may receive mercy and find grace to help in the time of need.

Mercy Chan (9:14)

You guys know anyone who's heard me teach, even for a few years, you know, I'm. I'm, like, obsessed with the throne of God and just his holiness and the intensity and. And the thought of, what's it gonna feel like when I die and I come before that throne and there's lightning and thunder and fire coming from that throne. Like, what? That's any second for us. Any second. It could happen to me tonight that I'm before the throne. That is absolutely true. But it's also absolutely true that we

Francis Chan (9:50)

can, with confidence, draw near to the throne of grace. I miss that. Somehow I miss that it's a throne of grace. Grace when he just. He wants to bless, he wants to give. That's who our God is. And he says, you, so you can receive mercy and find grace in your time of need. He calls his throne the throne of grace. It's like, the other day, I was driving by a restaurant, and it's called House of Noodles. Okay? Obviously, I would notice that, and it would be weird for me to walk in. I'm like, hey, any chance you have noodles? Right? So here he's saying, come with confidence to my throne of grace. So for me to come to God after His word tells me that he dwells in me and that he's been knocking on the door, pursuing me and

Mercy Chan (11:19)

wanting me to come to his throne of grace.

Francis Chan (11:24)

See, this has made me so much more excited in the mornings to come into the presence of God,

Mercy Chan (11:32)

because I know I'm loved.

Francis Chan (11:34)

And I just get alone.

Mercy Chan (11:35)

I go, God, you've been waiting.

Francis Chan (11:38)

You're in me, and you just want to pour grace on me. That is crazy. You want to minister to me.

Mercy Chan (11:49)

And my. My imagination's like, going nuts with what could happen in the presence of God. Like. Like, I. I hope you are still thrilled to come into the presence of God, because sometimes we get excited about these big gatherings and the bands, everything else, and the emotion, and I love it. I love the energy. I love getting together with the body of Christ. But I tell you, I don't know what I do without my time alone with him, where I just sit there and he is so real to me. So real to me.

Francis Chan (12:27)

There's this passage in First Corinthians, chapter 2, that I. That I wrestled with, okay? First Corinthians 2, verse 9. As it is written, what no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined what God has prepared for those who love him. Okay, Right. You guys have seen that passage.

Mercy Chan (12:53)

I've taught this passage. And I would tell the church, I go, hey, hey, you realize we're talking about no eye has seen, no ear has heard, or the heart of man. Imagine what God has something prepared for us, but we can't see it. We don't hear. We can't imagine it. And. And I remember preaching that, talking about our future. And then someone in my church says,

Francis Chan (13:20)

hey, Pastor, I think you missed something. Did you read the next verse? It says, but God has these things God has revealed to us through the Spirit. Wait. He has revealed this to us through the Spirit. Wait.

Mercy Chan (13:50)

But he says, no eye is seen, no ears heard. But then he goes, but God has

Francis Chan (13:55)

revealed it to us.

Mercy Chan (13:56)

There's something he can reveal without it going through our eyes. It didn't go through our ears. It didn't go through our cognitive thinking. Somehow he can put just this understanding of what's coming to us, what he's prepared for us.

Francis Chan (14:18)

And he goes, I can impart that to you through the Spirit, to where you walk away that morning. You go, I didn't hear anything. I didn't see anything.

Mercy Chan (14:27)

My mind wasn't even like.

Francis Chan (14:30)

But Somehow, like, at the core of my being, I just knew that I was in the presence of God, enjoying such security in his embrace, and I didn't want to leave. And he's saying, yeah, that's what I have prepared for you. I let you taste it, and you're

Mercy Chan (14:51)

like, but I can't. I don't know how to write down what I just experienced, because I can't describe to you something I saw. I can't describe to you something I heard, like a voice from God. It's not like I. I'm just telling you, like, I know I was in the presence of God and I didn't want to leave because I just felt so safe, and everything else was just gone. And I'm just there, loved by him.

Francis Chan (15:18)

And he said, I'll give that to you through my spirit. That's what I'm praying for tonight. You know, Matt was saying, like, there's. It's not just about giving you content.

Mercy Chan (15:32)

It's like, you know, you guys, we're in this age where people pick churches based upon how well the speaker speaks or how well the band leads. And so a lot of us are content.

Francis Chan (15:47)

If it was a good message and good singing, we go home happy. I'm going.

Mercy Chan (15:53)

Really? Don't you want more than that? I mean, why do you come to church? You want something mysterious. You want some sort of connection with Almighty God.

Francis Chan (16:08)

In First Corinthians 4, Paul says, Let everyone consider us servants of Christ and stewards of the mysteries of God. Paul says, I'm a steward of the mystery. Mysterious things happened. That's why it's like, all I want to do is pray. All I want to do is have some space here in the hopes that God might do something in your soul, in your inner being. This is the prayer that. Ephesians 3 that Matt was talking about, the Apostle Paul. If anyone could have preached to them. And what does Paul say? I'm on my knees. I'm begging him that by the. By the riches of his glory, he would just give you the strength in your inner being through the spirit, so

Mercy Chan (17:05)

that Christ may dwell in your hearts

Francis Chan (17:07)

through faith, that you, being rooted and

Mercy Chan (17:11)

grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend together with all the saints, what

Francis Chan (17:17)

is the breadth and length and height and depth. I want you to know how deeply he loves you. But Paul says, I'm on my knees praying for that. He's not just preaching to.

Mercy Chan (17:28)

I mean, even in Romans. Romans is. Which is maybe the most important book.

Francis Chan (17:35)

I don't know if that's Blasphemous.

Mercy Chan (17:36)

But it's like. This is like the clearest. You know, so much theology in that book. Book. But what does he say in chapter one, verse 11? He's handing them 16 chapters of great theology. But he says, but I can't wait

Francis Chan (17:51)

till I see you, that I might impart something spiritual to you.

Mercy Chan (18:01)

What is that?

Francis Chan (18:03)

That's the mystery. That's what you should want. When we gather together, I believe I can impart something. Today, The Bible says if I come and I love you, that the Holy Spirit will give me gifts, spiritual gifts. And Paul says, here's a letter with a bunch of theology, but I can't wait to see you. Then I might impart something spiritual to you. And then later on, In Romans, chapter 5, verse 5, he says, Hope does not put us to shame because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

Mercy Chan (19:02)

Like somehow God pours it directly into our hearts through the Spirit, the love of God. I mean, that's scripture. Because some of us, we have so much baggage in our minds. Some of us, if you're anything like me, you had a dad who didn't want you. My dad gave me up for adoption. My grandma took me away before he already had the lady set up. And, you know, you're not giving him away. And then when she was too old, she made my dad take me back, but he didn't want me. And the way he would just tie me to the tree and beat me and just. And I. When he died and I was 12 years old, I was so relieved. And so there's a lot of baggage here. And then I hear, oh, God is a father.

Francis Chan (19:53)

Great.

Mercy Chan (19:59)

And so God had to do something mysterious where he didn't go through my brain. It's. Somehow he poured his love into me where I just go. He saw how I was holding mercy. I seriously go, God, every morning I want to get there. Just remind me every day that you are holy and that you love me, me. And I can make it through anything.

Francis Chan (20:24)

And somehow, mysteriously, through his spirit, I believe I'm loved. For years, I would boldly proclaim, I love Jesus. But it was a lot harder to proclaim, oh, he loves me so much. And to say that was honesty. There's one other passage that I want to show you, and then I want to pray for you. It's in Numbers, chapter six. You guys know the passage. You sing the passage all the time with the blessing, the Aaronic blessing.

Mercy Chan (21:10)

But I want you to see it.

Francis Chan (21:11)

In its context or hear it in its context, because I. I don't ever know what verse I'm going to use, but Numbers, chapter 6, verse 23. Listen to what it says. Speak to Aaron and his son, saying, thus, you shall bless the people of Israel.

Mercy Chan (21:28)

You shall say to them, the Lord bless you and keep you. The Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you. The Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace. But look at verse 27. So shall they put my name upon the people of Israel, and I will bless them. I'm not even sure I totally understand what that means.

Francis Chan (22:03)

Seriously.

Mercy Chan (22:06)

But God tells these priests, look, just say this to them. And as you say this to them, you're going to be putting my name on them, and then I'll bless them.

Francis Chan (22:28)

So God, can I say this to you? And in saying that and meaning that, and you wanting to receive that, will God's name suddenly be on you? See, these are the mysteries I'm after. When I gather with the body of Christ, where you walk away tonight and you go, I was so insecure when you had your daughter there and you said, whoa, me with God. But something changed. It's like something was imparted to me. It was like the Spirit just made me know that is true. God does love me, and I'm secure in him. You know, I'm going to ask my daughter to come back out and just. And actually just sing that blessing over you as. As I get on my knees before holy God, begging him to impart that love to you. A love that I didn't understand for decades as a pastor. I did a pastor's conference not too long ago, and I asked the pastors, hey, how many of you, if you're being totally honest, you're only like 70 to 80% sure that God loves you. 80 to 90% of the pastors stood up. This insecurity, like, I don't know, I'm like, if that's our pastor, it broke my heart. Because that's what the enemy's done to us. He's whispering these voices, these lies, like, you blew it here, you blew it there. Whereas the word of God is saying, I'm rich in mercy, just please confess it to me. I'm gracious. Come before my throne of grace. You will receive mercy. You will receive grace. I'm not begging God for anything. I'm trusting in his word and saying, God, this is what you want to pour on us today? Because he's here with us. He's here in us and I'm going to pray for that mystery. And if there are some of you today who say, yeah, I'm insecure, that looked nothing like my relationship with God, that this looks nothing like your relationship with God. And you would want the Holy Spirit to pour the love of God into your heart. I'm going to come before his throne right now. And so if you would just put yourself in a posture of receiving in faith. I think it's Luke 8 where the crowds were pressing in on Jesus, but that one woman was like, no, I'm going to touch him. Be that woman tonight where you believe and go, no, God, I'm must have you as I pray for you and mercy sings over you.

Mercy Chan (singing) (26:51)

Lord, bless you and keep you. Jesus, make his face shine upon. Be gracious to. Face toward you.

Francis Chan (27:11)

Come, Holy Spirit. Jesus,

Mercy Chan (singing) (27:42)

His face shine upon you. Be gracious to you. The Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Generational. Your family, your children, their children, their children. May his presence go before you and behind you and beside you, all around you, within you. He is with you. He is with you in the morning, in the evening. You're coming when you're go. You're weeping and rejoicing. He's for you. He is for you. He's for you. He's for you. He's for you. He's for you. He's for you. He's for you. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. We believe, we say amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen.

Mercy Chan (30:14)

Father, you are our only hope. Holy Spirit, we need you to pour the love of God into our hearts. We don't want emotion, we don't want hype. We want something real that comes from heaven. That the spirit internally would just call out

Francis Chan (30:38)

to our spirits, that we'd have strength in our inner beings, that we would, together with all the saints, just know the love of God, which is beyond comprehension. Come, Lord, pray for every woman watching, every woman in this room that tomorrow when they get alone with you, it would just be different. A peace, a security that you imparted to them tonight. Give them an excitement to wake up in the morning and be in a room alone with you, just to have you pour your grace on them. Praise you, God, in jesus name. Amen.

Podcast Host (32:02)

Thank you for listening to the Crazy Love podcast. Join us next week for a new episode episode. But until then, for more resources from Crazy Love ministries or to support the work of Crazy love, please visit our website@crazylove.org.

Francis Chan (32:32)

Sa.