#483: The Secret to Attracting ABUNDANCE in your Life with Cathy Heller, Podcast Host, Abundance Coach, Author, & Speaker

Summary

Podcast Summary: Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan

Episode #483: The Secret to Attracting ABUNDANCE in Your Life with Cathy Heller

Release Date: December 3, 2024

---

Introduction

In episode #483 of Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan, host Heather Monahan welcomes Cathy Heller, a renowned podcast host, abundance coach, author, and speaker. The episode delves deep into the principles of attracting abundance, overcoming internal barriers, and fostering a mindset of wholeness and gratitude. Cathy shares her extensive knowledge on manifestation, the law of reception, and the profound impact of self-awareness on personal and professional growth.

---

Understanding Abundance and Wholeness

Cathy begins by exploring the concept of abundance, emphasizing that true abundance stems from a place of wholeness rather than a sense of lack. She explains that when individuals feel complete within themselves, they naturally attract positive experiences and opportunities.

Cathy Heller [17:01]: "We create what we are. There is what is known as the law of resonance in music. Everything in our life is a reflection of what is already inside us."

Cathy uses the analogy of a radio to illustrate how our beliefs and feelings act as frequencies that attract corresponding realities. By tuning into higher frequencies of joy and wholeness, we magnetize abundance into our lives effortlessly.

---

The Law of Reception vs. Law of Attraction

A significant portion of the conversation focuses on the Law of Reception, a concept Cathy introduces as an alternative to the popular Law of Attraction. Drawing from Jewish mysticism and her studies in Kabbalah, she explains that receptivity is about being open to receiving what already exists in the universe, rather than actively trying to attract it.

Cathy Heller [10:01]: "Kabbalah means to receive. Manifestation is understanding that every single potential, since God is infinite, every possibility exists."

Cathy highlights that Judaism teaches a profound sense of connection to the divine, where being Jewish is seen as an inherent connection to God rather than a faith that others must convert to. This inclusivity underscores the universal accessibility of abundance.

---

Overcoming Imposter Syndrome

Heather brings up the prevalent issue of imposter syndrome, especially among entrepreneurs and creatives. Cathy addresses this by differentiating between the mind and the soul. She asserts that while the mind often succumbs to fear and perfectionism, the soul remains pure and free from such doubts.

Cathy Heller [44:03]: "The imposter is the mind, because we all have this both and it's like the soul version of us and then the somebody suit we're wearing. The soul in us just wants to show up in the moment."

Cathy encourages listeners to embrace authenticity and kindness, suggesting that true confidence emerges when one stops striving for external validation and instead focuses on inner peace and self-acceptance.

---

Practical Steps to Cultivate Abundance

The discussion transitions into actionable strategies for attracting abundance:

1. Morning Intentions: Cathy advises setting daily intentions similar to how one selects an outfit. By consciously choosing how to feel each day, individuals can align their energies with abundance.

   Cathy Heller [30:24]: "Stop every morning and play a game with your life and say, I'm going to choose how I want to feel today."

2. Body Check-Ins: Regularly checking in with one's body to assess stress levels can help maintain balance and prevent burnout.

   Cathy Heller [31:24]: "Your body is either regulated or dysregulated. Check in with your body. Are you abandoning yourself or not?"

3. Embracing the Art of Receiving: Cathy shares personal anecdotes about the challenges of receiving gifts and praise, underscoring the importance of feeling safe to accept abundance without fear of obligation.

   Cathy Heller [33:33]: "To receive more love, more blessings, we have to have the capacity to receive it."

---

The Art of Receiving

Cathy recounts her experience of trying to create a perfect Christmas, which backfired due to overextension. This story serves as a metaphor for the importance of having the capacity to receive abundance. She explains that often, people resist receiving blessings because it feels like an obligation or something that needs to be earned.

Cathy Heller [33:33]: "Because a lot of people growing up in their houses, love was not actually love. It just looked a little bit like love, but it was actually business. It was earned."

Cathy emphasizes that blessings are gifts of grace and do not require anything in return. Cultivating a mindset that welcomes abundance allows for a smoother flow of blessings into one's life.

---

Raising Children with Abundance Mindset

Towards the end of the episode, Cathy shares her approach to parenting, highlighting how she instills a sense of worthiness and abundance in her daughters. By ensuring her children understand that they are loved unconditionally, Cathy helps them develop a secure foundation that attracts positive relationships and opportunities.

Cathy Heller [42:38]: "They have learned that they don't have to do anything to be loved, because that's ridiculous."

---

Conclusion

The episode wraps up with Cathy promoting her book, "Abundant Ever After," and providing listeners with resources to further explore the concepts discussed. Heather expresses heartfelt gratitude for Cathy's insights, underscoring the transformative potential of embracing an abundance mindset.

Heather Monahan [49:41]: "I'm so grateful for all the work you do. I'm so grateful for your podcast. I'm so grateful for this book and super grateful for you."

Listeners are encouraged to visit Cathy’s website to purchase her book and access additional bonuses designed to support their journey toward abundance.

---

Key Takeaways

• Abundance arises from inner wholeness: Feeling complete within oneself naturally attracts positive experiences.
• Law of Reception over Law of Attraction: Emphasizes being open to existing universal possibilities rather than actively trying to attract them.
• Overcoming Imposter Syndrome: Authenticity and inner peace are more impactful than external achievements.
• Practical Practices: Setting daily intentions, regular body check-ins, and embracing the art of receiving can cultivate abundance.
• Parenting with Abundance Mindset: Teaching children unconditional love fosters secure foundations that attract positive opportunities.

---

Quotes to Remember:

1. "We create what we are." – Cathy Heller [17:01]
2. "Kabbalah means to receive." – Cathy Heller [10:01]
3. "The imposter is the mind." – Cathy Heller [44:03]
4. "Stop every morning and play a game with your life and say, I'm going to choose how I want to feel today." – Cathy Heller [30:24]
5. "To receive more love, more blessings, we have to have the capacity to receive it." – Cathy Heller [33:33]

---

For those seeking to transform their lives by attracting abundance and fostering confidence, Cathy Heller’s insights offer a profound roadmap toward achieving a fulfilling and prosperous existence.

Transcript

[A]

Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at shopify.com monahan all lowercase go to shopify.com monahan now to grow your business no matter what stage you're in. Shopify.com monahan we all have this both.

[B]

And it's like the sole version of us and then the somebody suit we're wearing. And the somebody suit wants to prepare and overthink and over deliver and the soul in us just wants to show up in the moment and see what's the most loving, open hearted way to live in this moment. And that part doesn't have imposter syndrome. Truly, the most impressive person in a room is not the one who went to the fanciest college. It's the person who's the kindest.

[C]

Come on this journey with me each.

[A]

Week when you join me.

[C]

We are going to chase down our goals, overcome adversity, and set you up for a better tomorrow.

[B]

I'm ready for my close up.

[C]

Hi and welcome back. I am so excited. First of all, you know I very rarely have somebody on the show multiple times, but today I'm so hyped because I'm so excited. If you haven't met Kathy Heller before, you are in for a fricking treat. I'm going to read her incredible bio because she's such a freaking force of nature, such an incredible human best energy of all time. I just freaking love her.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Kathy is a renowned teacher, podcaster, understatement, and author. She hosts one of the top spiritual podcasts, Abundant Ever after, which has been downloaded 45 million times. It's incredible. So proud of you. She's a practitioner of the law of reception, which I need in my life and has a deep understanding of the universal principles of manifestation. I need this in my life and so do you. Cathy guides individuals on transformative journey towards unlocking their highest potential. Drawing from the wisdom of Jewish mysticism and ancient teachings, Kathy illuminates the path to spiritual growth and abundance. Through her unique approach, she empowers students to embrace their innate ability to receive and manifest their desires effortlessly with a focus on meditation and mindfulness practices. With her new book, out Now, I mean, we are getting into all of the things, all the manifestation, all the receptivity, and all the love. Kathy, thank you, Abundant Ever After. Thank you so much for being here.

[B]

Everyone who's listening already knows what I'm about to say, but your energy is so. It's like a laser. I feel like it's so bold and so coherent. There's Nothing about it that's like diluted. It's just like you speak from the deepest part of yourself and it's so fun to hear a woman tapped into her power like that. I just love listening to you talk and then you happen to be talking about me, which is extremely kind, but it's really just what's in you that's so embodied, which is really fun to listen to, that energy. So thank you for that and thank you for having me here. And let's dive in to all the.

[C]

Things I'm so, so, so hyped. All right, I want to get into the book. I want to get into. First of all, I want to address Judaism right now and what is happening in the world. And I'm not making this political at all, but I'm just from a point of like empathy and this is like your life. And I didn't even acknowledge that when we first got on. And I'm just so sorry with like everything that's happening.

[B]

Oh my gosh. This is a very ancient thing when we zoom out in history, throughout humanity. You know, since the time of Abraham, Abraham was the first Jewish person. Jews have had tremendous hatred. They were hated in Egypt, in Spain, during the Inquisition, in Germany, during the Holocaust, in Russia, during the pogroms, in Babylon. They were kicked out of every single place they've ever lived, including their home in Judea. Right. Like Jesus of Nazareth, you know, who was Jewish, who was a rabbi, like, and then they were kicked out of Syria and Iraq. And there's no end to it. When that's your history. I mean, that's part of it. So it doesn't come as a surprise or it doesn't feel any different than my grandparents story or their grandparents story. It's just kind of more of the same. But on that note, I think part of the reason I was really, really excited about writing this book is because there is a lot of talk for thousands of years about antisemitism. And I wanted people to have an experience of pro Semitism. Like, I understand that we can talk about this one particular kind of hatred in the world, which is people hating Jews. Like, I get that there's a lot of. Boy, is there a lot that's been said about it for good reason. But why are people Jews? Like, what is it about Judaism that makes it special? And it is fascinating when you think about how in the 8 billion people in the world, 8 billion, there's, you know, 2 billion that are in some version of Christianity. There's about 2 billion that are in some version of Islam, there's about a billion ish that are, you know, either Hindu or Buddhist or whatever that is. And there's only 15 million Jews globally. That's it. Know that. Yeah. And so if you really sit back and go, so what is it about this tiny, teeny tiny group of people? What do they even stand for? Like, what are the ideas or what is it that makes it interesting at all? Why is Judaism even something that. That has stuck around so long? And to me, that was. What was way more interesting is to share some of those ideas. And so let me just share a couple things with you right now. You know, the biggest thing is that the mic drop of Abraham, people say, oh, well, he started this idea of monotheism. But actually it's so much bigger than that. Right. Because the central prayer in Judaism is not that there is one God, which there is, but that God is one, which means God is infinite. So there's nowhere God isn't, which means we are all connected to that oneness. Which is why there are so few Jews. Because Judaism does not have the belief that people should convert to be Jewish because you're already connected to God. You don't need to be Jewish to be connected to what you already are. Like, really let that sink in. It's such a progressive, radical, inclusive idea that people can't even comprehend it. But in Judaism, there's never, ever, ever, ever been. It would be against the religion to make someone convert to Judaism. We've never had it, we've never done it. In fact, if someone wants to convert to Judaism, the rabbi is supposed to say three times, why? You're already connected to God. You don't need to be Jewish because Judaism is an ethnicity. It shows up on your DNA. In fact, when my husband and I got married, since we're both Jewish, we were told we are carriers of Tay Sachs. We had to get tested and we had to do fertility treatments so that our children, we could pick the embryos. That didn't. Right? Because we have that now. There's certain diseases and things that are genetically assigned to us. Because that is just like Italians are Italian Jews are from Judea. Right? So even Ashkenazi Jews, if you go to 23andMe, it says that Ashkenazi Jewish DNA doesn't look like European DNA, it looks like Semitic DNA because it's Semitic. Right. It's a people. So why do you need to be in other people? You don't. Unless that other people make you think that in order to be connected to God, you would need to convert. No, you're already connected to God. So the idea of Judaism is that you are someone because you're some of the ones. You're already a masterpiece because you're a piece of the master, that every one of us has a soul. And that soul is an extension of the divine light. That's it. And then what we get to do as humans is we get to be a vehicle for God's light. And we do get to choose between darkness and light. But that's the soul's journey, right? And the soul goes through that process. But it's all. Even the darkness God created 12 hours of daylight, 12 hours of dark, Right? Like, even the contrast helps us to find our way to our alignment. The contrast is what helps you know what you want, what you prefer, what you appreciate, what you are, what you're not. So we are all part of this godly divine light. That's number one. And also, when I first went to Israel after college, I thought I would be there for three weeks. And I stayed for three years. And the reason I stayed is because the very first teaching I ever learned is that the word for the Sabbath, which is Shabbat, it means to meditate. And the first time it's used in the Bible is when Abraham is meditating, and it says, and Abraham sat, and it uses this word for Shabbat. And God appeared. And so the rabbi said, that is available to all of us. When we get quiet, we will hear the wisdom from the divine. It's a breath away. And I thought, oh, my gosh, that is so beautiful. I want to know more, because growing up, I really didn't know much at all about Judaism. I was grew up very secular. And so I stayed for three years, and I wound up meeting my greatest teacher, Rabbi David Aaron. And I'll just give you this one teaching, and then we can go into manifestation, because this is kind of the bridge. So it was in the early 2000s that I was living in Jerusalem, and the law of attraction became like a super hip thing. And he said to me, have you heard of it? I'm like, yeah, I have heard of it. And he said, well, just so you know, Jewish wisdom would say it's not the law of attraction, it's a law of reception. And he said, and that is based upon the fact that the word Kabbalah literally means likabel. Kabbalah means to receive. A lot of people don't know a lot about a lot of traditions. For instance, yoga is something that we Think means exercise on a mat. But yoga in Buddhist tradition is mostly deep wisdom tradition that has eight branches. And one of the eight branches is the exercise part of yoga. But most people who really know yoga in the southeastern Asian religions, they're not talking about getting on a mat and doing down dog like. That's only one part of what yoga is.

[C]

Right.

[B]

If you ask Deepak Chopra to explain yoga, he would talk to you about the yoga sutras. And one of those sutras is physical. So so too, in Judaism, people think Kabbalah is a separate thing. Kabbalah is just something that's essential to. It's the mysticism of Jewish wisdom. So it's part of the Torah, it's part of the Talmud. It's just woven into the whole thing. And there's a separate book called the Zohar that really codifies the Kabbalah. But it's all just part. Like, if Jesus was walking today, who was a religious rabbi in Jerusalem, he could tell you all of these Kabbalah secrets, because it's all part of the same thing. Okay, so the word Kabbalah means to receive. So what that means is Rabbi Aaron said if you took a radio and you put a radio in this room and you turned it on, you would hear music. And then the question is, where was the music before you turned on the radio? And the answer is only that it was hidden in plain sight. It was here, but you couldn't perceive it because you didn't have the capacity to tune into that. But if you have a receiver and we turn it on and it can, it can receive that frequency now, you can hear the music. And so manifestation is understanding that every single potential, since God is infinite, every possibility exists. And the reality that you believe you're experiencing, you're actually choosing that based on what your radio is tuned to. So when you turn on a radio, not only do you turn it on or turn it off, but once you turned it on, you can listen to hip hop music, classical music, oldies music. You're turning it on, you're deciding. And so if you are in alignment with your soul, if you've turned on and tapped into the highest frequency of your soul, everything comes to you and everything feels like love in your life and abundance, because that's what the soul is. The soul is abundant. The soul is unbelievably whole. And so it allows for everything to come straight out of escrow. That's all loving, that's all a match for you vibrationally. And so when I learned that I started to understand, you know, how to really teach the law of manifestation through what is the frequency that we are tuned to and how can we tune our frequency is a whole other conversation. But that's essentially how we 3D print our life. You know, DNA is energy that is like coiled right? We've all seen pictures of it, but what it really is is an energy code. And then we are each the 3D printout of that software coding which is energy. So energy creates matter. So the vibration that we are is the energy code in which we are creating everything. That's the 3D version of our life. So every single thing in our life, our relationships, our health, our wealth, everything in our life is whatever is the three dimensional printout of our energetic frequency and how we're imprinting into this radio, so to speak.

[A]

Meet a different guest each week. What does the future hold for business? Ask nine experts and you'll get 10 different answers. A bull market, a bear market. REITs will ris, rates will fall. Could someone just give me a crystal ball please? Until then, over 40,000 businesses have future proof their business with NetSuite by Oracle. The number one Cloud ERP bringing accounting, financial management, inventory, HR into one fluid platform with one unified business management suite. There's one source of truth giving you the visibility and control you need to make quick decisions. With real time insights and forecasting, you're peering into the future with actual data. When you're closing the books in days, not weeks, you're spending less time looking backwards and more time on what's next. If I had needed this product, it's exactly what I would use. Whether your company is earning millions or even Hundreds of millions, NetSuite can help you respond to immediate challenges and seize your biggest opportunities. Speaking of opportunity, download the CFO's Guide to AI and Machine Learning at netsuite.com the guide is free to you at netsuite.com monahan netsuite.com monahan can you believe the holiday season is here? Well, if you're like me, you are so excited to pull out your warm, cozy, beautiful elevating sweaters from Jenny Kane. Yes, the look of luxury without the price tag. And not only am I excited for the clothes that I'm going to be wearing, but the gifts that I'm going to be giving too. Jenny Cain makes it so easy simplifying giving the gifts people love while elevating their looks and yours while you're at it. Have holiday travel on the mind. Well, I sure do. Heading to Boston myself and I'M leveling up on my go to style with Jenny Cain's ultra versatile knits. They are a must have. Like the cashmere half zip, it's the perfect piece to take anywhere, especially on a plane or anywhere that you're going to be cold. Looking for the dream holiday outfit? The just in fit dress is your pick. Pair it with a kitten heels or boots or layer a knit over the shoulders for a classic elevated look. If you're eyeing coats, look no further than the Caroline coat and Apres coat. Both are a must for the season ahead, adding drama and coziness and warmth to your looks. We can't forget about Jenny Cain's home essentials like the giftable candles and splurge worthy decor. In fact, the holiday votive gift shop just dropped and it makes perfect stocking stuffer. But this set never lasts long so shop it right now while you can. The Jenny Kane Holiday Gift Guide just dropped too, which makes gifting a breeze. Shop Jenny's edit favorites under $250 and plenty of other curated gift giving categories. Jenny Kane makes it so easy to give the best gifts and you can gift yourself and your loved ones the best gifts of all. Our listeners today are getting 15% off your first order when you use code CONFIDENCE15 at checkout. That's 15% off your first order at J E N N I K A y n e.com promo code confidence15 let getting dressed to a T be one less thing you need to worry about. Up level with Jenny Cain Confidence Clean I asked you to try to find your passion.

[C]

Let me ask you a question. I so love this topic and I love your book and just I love this energy, this conversation because still, even though I am a student of this work for many years, I do not have this thing unlocked the way that you do. That is for sure. And just even hearing you talk right there about health, wealth, relationships, right? Why is it like my health is killer, like I can run a marathon, like I am great shape but then my. Well I was talking to before, I still haven't been able to find, you know, that special relationship in life. Why is it that so some things could be elusive to somebody if it feels like you are a great manifester and you are coming from a place of love and kindness, like why are some things elusive?

[B]

Yeah, first of all, it's a great question and second of all, this is what I would say because I've spent so much time thinking about it, studying it, living it, testing it. Here's what I believe to be True, we create what we are. So there is what is known as the law of resonance in music. If I walk into a store and I want to buy a guitar and I pull a guitar off the wall, and there's a row of 50 guitars on the wall, and I take one guitar and pluck the G string on the guitar, all the other guitars will vibrate, but only the G string. That's literally science. Like the G string of every guitar will vibrate because I vibrated this one, I plucked this one G string, it will match it. So everything in our life is a reflection of what is already. Which means that when we feel that we need something in order to be whole in some area of our life, we will not manifest it because we're not whole with that yet. If you go on a date and you really want to fill up a part that feels lack around, let's say love, it won't work out well on the date. But if you feel whole, like deep wholeness and deep love, let's say you have tea every morning with yourself and you invite the brilliant parts of you, the terrified parts of you, the parts of you that are fearless, the parts of you that are a straight up liar, you invite your entire self and you have equanimity and grace and compassion. There's like a deep wholeness that sinks in. And if you think about like a movie version of this, like you think about Zooey Deschanel and the part that she plays in a lot of movies, that character is a girl who RSVP to her own party. And then wherever she goes, she just attracts people that want to be at the party because she's good with it. It's the same thing with money. If you feel so abundant, because abundance really is the lightness of your own being and flow, state and creative, like nonstop creative ideas, that feels really abundant, right? You'll be a magnet for all kinds of abundance because you're just so awake and alive and in flow. But if you don't feel that way, if you feel kind of there's like a lack and you really keep feeling like your life feels limited and you feel limited, then you'll really, really want the deal. And if you show up trying to get the deal, trying to get the job, and you really need it, it won't be great. But if you show up in your wholeness and you're selling something, pitching something, or interviewing for something, then what you will have communicated is you're really not attached to the outcome. It's really whatever is the Highest and best because you're really good where you are. And anything else, if it's meant to be, it'll be also good, but you don't need it. And so then you'll probably most likely get offered the job. So we create wholeness from wholeness. We don't create wholeness from lack. So wherever there is, like deep wholeness, there's just more of that deep wholeness. And here's the thing is that we know when we're in lack, when we think that there will be some big dopamine, some big overwhelming happiness when this thing arrives. Because that deep happiness should be something you feel right now. And the truth is that when people are good manifesters and things show up in their life, like love, a relationship, a child, a whole bunch of money, what they don't experience is, oh, my God, oh my God, it's here. Oh, my God, it happened.

[C]

Oh, my God, oh my God.

[B]

They don't have that. It's more like equanimity. It's more like, wow, what a beautiful sunset. It doesn't feel like this giant rush because they didn't really feel they were lacking it. You know when you're really, really thirsty and you hike up a hill, you're like, oh, my God. But if you're not really thirsty and somebody says, here, taste this green juice or have a glass of water, you'll be like, oh, lovely. But the truth is, if you're in a relationship with something that you really, really, really needed, you might wind up being codependent with the thing. So the truth is, when something comes in our life, it's actually really pretty nice. If you don't feel this huge rush when you get it, it's more just like, beautiful. I want to appreciate this now. I'm so grateful that this is here. Like, when I had each of my daughters, I wasn't like, oh, my God. Finally. Thank God. Oh, my God, oh, my God, this is going to do everything. This is going to be everything. It was more like, wow, I could really be a good mom to you because I'm so appreciative that you came in my life. What an amazing blessing. But not like, okay, you will be my happiness, and you're finally here, and I was missing it, and now it's here and you're it. And now, like, that would destroy my daughter. When we manifest things, they're the things we don't need. When we manifest things, they're the things that are a mirror, a match to the wholeness that already is so then the question is, and we have to understand is, typically when I say to people, what do you want to manifest? They usually make me a list. And they'll say, $5 million, a great relationship, a great house, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'll say, those are amazing things, and every single one of those things is outside of you. And then I'll say, can I try another list? Tell me if you would like to manifest this list. How about you would like to manifest feeling connected to the mystical, feeling like your life just moves in synchronicity, having inner peace, feeling the lightness of your own being, having creative downloads, feeling impact and meaning, feeling deep inner stillness. And they're like, ah, yes. I'm like, right. Well, all of those things you actually can tap into right now. And then what people typically realize is, why would you wait for something to happen to make you feel that good when you could feel that good right now? And then what's even more interesting is people will say, wait, you're saying the way for me to get what I want is to feel good. Now tell me something to do other than that. I don't want to do that. Think about it. Esther Hicks will say to people, feel good. And they'll be like, no, it's too hard. I need something outside of me to happen. Then I'll feel good. And she says, oh, you'll just keep pushing it further away. Because nobody ever felt good because something outside of them made them feel good and sustained it that way. Because happiness is an inside job. And the people with the deepest happiness are the people that know that the higher love within them is all that they wanted and more. And then everything else around them is just this, like, beautiful gift that they get to love. And it's actually our job to love the things around us, not to need them to love us. So that's why there are certain ways in which you are whole. You feel whole inside your health, so you'll just keep manifesting it. You feel whole inside your business. You feel like your business is flow state, it's play, it's a. It's an extension of you. It'll just keep getting bigger and bigger. But there's something that you unconsciously have that there's something in a relationship that will complete something in you, and there's some need for it and some feeling of lack around it, so then it won't come in. But when you really come to peace and completion inside of yourself with whatever that is, he'll just pop right into your field.

[C]

You just made me realize. And I've never had this realization before. This is wild. It sounds so ridiculous, but this is such a big deal for me. When you were talking about we don't need to get things from outside of us, we just need to focus on the inside. I never learned that as a child. Like, I'm just being totally candid, right? I never heard that. Was taught that, in fact, to the contrary. I was taught if you want to get love, if you want to be, you know, appreciated, loved, encouraged, you need to go get the award. Go be the one that gets the gold medal, get the title of top salesperson, get the. So when you were talking, I was just realizing I was completely taught the reverse. Not out of anyone with bad intent, but it was just what I learned. Is that insane?

[B]

No. I mean, first of all, it's not insane. I think that it's incredible you can have that awareness, because I think that's what everybody who had good parents, who want to protect you and want you to do. Well, most people, that's what they were taught, is that the more you accomplish on the outside, the more you'll feel on the inside. And the truth is that what we all really, really, really want is to find our own authentic power, which comes from feeling the full peace which is sitting beside ourselves and knowing that in every moment, there's so much peace to take in. And, you know, you look at nature, there's nothing in nature that's rushing to accomplish anything. There's no trees that are rushing. There's no eagles that are rushing. There's just a beauty of being with what is, you know, in the blue zones. These people live longer than everybody else because they're actually enjoying and savoring their lives. And their lives are not about how many piles of things they have, how many followers, how many bank accounts. No, they actually want to cash in right now, this thing called enjoying their moment. And, you know, I look at my cat, who's over there right now in my room, like, my cat is not proving its existence. It just exists. You know, the fascinating thing about it is it makes everybody in the house calm. And so if we keep setting the goalpost that once we accomplish something, we'll feel good, we'll keep missing out on the good that there is to feel by really coming to know ourselves deeply and truly appreciate it for who we are. And then also really savoring and taking in, filling our bellies with the 19 shades of green outside the window, our feet on the floor, how they feel when they walk across the floor and the taste of coffee and the smells of things and the, you know, there's just. We're missing that because we think that there's somewhere in the future that will feel better if we're always in that place. And we always want to be accomplishing something in the future. So we're never where we are. And it creates a lot of cortisol and exhaustion and stress, and we don't do well like that. After I left Israel and I moved to Los Angeles, I started studying meditation, which was like a total fluke because Jim Henson's daughter, Lisa Henson, brought me to a retreat, a meditation retreat. And because it was her, I wanted to get up and leave like two hours in. And I was like, this is so embarrassing because she'll see me get up and leave. So I was stuck. So I was like, okay, I don't want to embarrass myself, so I'm going to sit here on my mat. But I was dying. Dying. I walked outside, but then I went back in. And then I heard the teacher say something. She was looking right at me and she said, meditation is not about not thinking. Just like your heart beats, your mind will always race. That's what minds do. Meditation is about witnessing your thoughts rather than being stuck in your thoughts. I realized that that's why it had been hard. I was thinking, why am I thinking, oh my God, I'm thinking even more. I can't stop thinking right. It's not possible. And then Martha Beckham was on my podcast and told me, such a beauty. I want to give her credit because she's the one who said this. She said, if you were looking at a snowstorm, it's like the most beautiful thing, standing in the living room, looking out in a snowstorm. But she said, if your car broke down and you were walking in a snowstorm, it's so miserable. And so she said, when we have the compassion and curiosity and non judgmental awareness to watch our thoughts, they're kind of beautiful. But when we are not observing our thoughts and we are just unconsciously being run by them, it's awful. And so I say that because the more we can cultivate our capacity to witness the way our mind works, it's like, wow, look at my mind. She's scared again. She's over complicating it again. She's in the future again. Oh, that's interesting. And then I'm aware that I'm the one witnessing the thought. So then if I'm the witness to the Thought, who am I? Oh, I'm like the deep consciousness of my soul. And the part of me that is that conscious actually is always okay. The part of me that's witnessing my mind is like, wow, there's like deep equanimity in me all the time. Like, there's a way for me to be at peace with whatever it is. Like, isn't it amazing how no matter how our mind races, we all, like, found a way to live through the pandemic and we find a way to live through our. The people we love. When we go to their funeral, we find a way to be with it. Because the soul has this amazing capacity to be with things as they are, and the mind is constantly trying to fight it. And the soul also has this incredible capacity to feel connected to wisdom and love and compassion, and it has a capacity to have creative downloads and insights. But none of that comes from the mind. And I say that because the more we witness it, the more we do feel whole. It's the mind that doesn't feel at peace. It's the mind that feels it needs to accomplish more. But who we really are doesn't feel that way.

[C]

It sounds so simple. However, I think we both know, and this is why your book is so important. It's not right. Like, we get caught up in the day to day, like you said. We get caught up in just the thoughts and not pausing and not meditating and not doing the right things. Where do you think people should start? Like, where can people who are just in the rat race start?

[B]

I mean, I say things like in the morning, the same way you select your clothes for the day. Like, ooh, this shirt is going to make me feel sexy, or this shirt's going to make me feel accomplished. Or everything has, like an energy and you select your clothes. You usually take a second and think, how do I want to, you know, sort of come across today? I think the same way you do that you can select how you want to think for the day. Understand that your mind runs on autopilot and it's going to play a whole bunch of perpetuating, limiting beliefs. And your mind loves you so much that it just wants to create a lot of fear because it believes that fear will keep you safe. And fear turns into control. And so if you stop every morning and play a game with your life and say, I'm going to choose how I want to feel today. And then you close your eyes and you say, what would surrender feel like? What would joy feel like? What would play feel like you'll have a way better day. Even if you just think that for a whole minute. A whole minute. I think that's a really good way to start. What would surrender feel like today?

[C]

Can you answer that question? Because surrender is elusive to me. I find surrender hard.

[B]

Well, it doesn't have to be surrender. It could be whatever word just feels like relief for you. Like, whatever word feels like you getting off the hamster wheel and coming back to center. Use that word. Like ease, Joy. Joy.

[C]

I definitely line with that.

[B]

Yeah, it's like, what would joy feel like today? Okay. Like, very often, if I'm working on something with my team and we feel a little heavy, I'll say, let's stop and ask ourselves, what would be the most fun way we could do this? And then we'll say, well, the most fun way would be if instead of renting a theater for 2,000 people, we'll just rent a theater for 500 people. Great, let's do that. Or the most fun way we could do this is if we, you know, I don't know, like, have a confetti moment and give everybody who walks in a little confetti popper and just give everybody that initial moment of like, celebrate yourself for coming and. But we're like, great, let's do that. Like, whatever you need to add into your day, select it. Select it from the buffet. And then also throughout your day, your body is such an incredible litmus test. Like, put your hand on your heart once during the middle of the day and ask yourself, how's my body doing? Because your body is either regulated or dysregulated. You can either feel that you're stressed and your heart's like, little racing, or you just feel really at ease. And if you don't feel at ease, you have betrayed yourself somehow. You're either betraying yourself or you're not. And betraying yourself might look like, I just said yes when I met no. Or I'm still sitting here working on this thing and I really need a break. I need to go take a walk. Check in with your body. Are you abandoning yourself or not? Because it's your life. Nobody gets the award for most depleted. You get to live your life. So I think body check in and choosing your thoughts. That's a nice place to start.

[C]

A little bit about the art of receiving, because that's another thing that I definitely, you know, becoming more self aware. I would see myself as someone who wanted to give, give, give and help others and set other people up for success. But I Had a very hard time accepting or receiving gifts, praise, anything from other people.

[B]

First of all, I love that question. And so I love when things happen in real life that are just really good examples, because I think that words don't teach, but experiences really can teach us lessons. So the example I gave for this in the book was such a fun one over Covid. I really wanted to give my kids, like, the best, most amazing Christmas because everything was so shut down, right? And they were in the house so often. And so I was like, let's make it really special. And so I hired this guy to string every box of lights I could get at Home Depot. We got the buddy the elf blow up, and we got Rudolph and all the. And it was just really exciting. And my husband said to me, you're not going to be able to string all those lights. And I thought, he's like, such a downer. Like, he needs to, like, you know, move on. Like, we're doing this. So we spend thousands of dollars to, like, make it like Clark Griswold, like, Christmas vacation, like crazy. And we go to turn on the lights after this guy has spent three days stringing these lights. Not only did the lights not work, they went on for like a few seconds, and then they all went out. But everything in my house went out. Like, it blew a fuse. So my refrigerator wasn't working. And I'm like, what's going on? So we keep trying, it keeps blowing, blowing the fuse. So my husband comes outside and the guy is there who strung the lights. And we. We all go to the breaker to look at the circuit breaker in the garage. And I had just never done this math before. I had never done this, but when we added up all the boxes of lights times the amount of watts that each of them took, and all the little blowups, we came up with a number for how much power we needed, right wattage wise. And then we looked at the breaker, and we saw that we didn't have enough in the breaker to hold the electricity. And so my husband said, that's what I meant. He's like. I was saying, with all that light, you would have needed ahead of time to call the electrician and added more to the breaker that could hold the light. And so what we don't realize is in order for us to receive more. More love, more blessing, we have to have the capacity to receive it. And what's really interesting is that each of us has a certain amount of lived experience, and the body is really interesting. If. If something is new, your Brain will receive it as a threat. So if somebody you meet. My husband and I were dating, and we got engaged, and he offered to buy me a car. And I was like, absolutely not. We're engaged. Why would you buy me a car? My lease is up on my car. I'm gonna get myself my own car. And so we went to the dealership, and then he went in to talk to the guy, and he's like, oh, let me just see if I can get a better price and negotiate. And then he literally comes out with the key. And I was actually devastated that he bought me the car. Devastated because my dad had never bought me a car. My parents got divorced. He left before I could drive. I bought myself my first car. I paid my way through college, and my brain registered that as, this isn't safe. Like, what would I now be obligated to do? Or, what is this going to cost me? Or what do I have to sacrifice now? What do I owe you? So I was demanding that he undo it, but he couldn't undo it. And so it's interesting, I quickly started to make a lot of money in my business after that because I realized that being married could potentially mean that my husband was someone I wound up really needing. And it wasn't safe to need my father because he left. He left us. So I started to become a total type A, like, workaholic so that I could have my own money. Until I realized I've hit my capacity, my breaker. I didn't have the neural pathways to tell me, oh, it's totally safe to receive. Just say thank you, because it was new. And that's literally how the nervous system is. We manifest, as my friend Tracy lit says, we manifest at the speed of safety. So as we continue to have true feelings of safety in the body, we'll let ourselves, like, you go to dinner with a friend, let me pay for it, and you'll just say, sure. Thank you. You feel safe to receive, or you start in your business, you start asking for what you want to be paid, and you feel unsafe. After a while, you say, it's safe to exchange my value for this amount. I can do it now. It's safe. I'm safe to be abundant. I'm safe to let myself receive a compliment. Someone tells me I'm pretty. I don't have to say, oh, my God, you're totally crazy. I look like crap. Thank you. I appreciate that. I receive that. So we're literally just like the Christmas lights. We're having to put more on the circuitry to expand, to stretch past what we're used to. Because a lot of people growing up in their houses, love was not actually love. It just looked a little bit like love, but it was actually business. It was earned. You had to earn it. And so in their life it's hard to receive blessing because they then feel like the more I receive, the more obligation, the more I have to sacrifice. And so they receive a little less so they don't have to feel that they have to earn more. But really, blessing comes from God and it's just straight grace. It doesn't have to be earned and that's what we have to learn.

[A]

Meet a different guest each week. If that sound isn't creating confidence for you and your business, I know what you're missing. You're missing Shopify and I set up my own Shopify page. It is so simple that I could do it myself. You can absolutely do it and start converting potential customers into paying customers, creating confidence for all of us. Upgrade your business and get the same checkout we use with Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at shopify.com monahan all lowercase go to shopify.com/monahan to upgrade your selling today. Shopify.com monahan let's talk about goals for a minute. How are you tracking with the ones you set for your business earlier this year? Are you close? If not, do you know why you haven't hit them yet? I mean, let's be honest. It's so important to track our goals to set goals. Goal setting is where it all happens, taking us from where we currently are to where we know we can be. This podcast included. We got major goals and every day we are getting closer. You've got year end goals. Constant Contact has what it takes to help you meet them faster. No matter how experienced you are with digital marketing, Constant Contact has the tools to make your marketing run smoother. Tap email marketing that helps you create and send the perfect email to every customer. Get on your goals and realize them with Constant Contact. It's time to put the go in your 2024 business goals with email, social, SMS and customized marketing campaigns built for for you in just a few clicks. Ready? Set. Go to constantcontact.com and start your free trial now. Go to constantcontact.com for your free trial today. Even if you think it's a bit overhyped, AI is suddenly everywhere. From self driving cars to molecular medicine to business efficiencies. If it's not in your industry yet it's coming fast. But AI needs a lot of speed and computing power. So how do you compete without costs spiraling out of control? Time to upgrade to the next generation of the cloud. Oracle Cloud Infrastructure, or oci. OCI is a blazing, fast and secure platform for your infrastructure, database, application development, plus all your AI and machine learning workloads. OCI costs 50% less for compute and 80% less for networking, so you're saving a pile of money. Thousands of businesses have already upgraded to oci, including MGM Resorts, Specialized Bikes and Fireworks AI. Right now, Oracle is offering to cut your current cloud bill in half if you move to OCI for new US customers with minimum financial commitment. Offer ends December 31, 2024. See if your company qualifies for the special [e-mail] that's Oracle. I asked you to try to find your passion.

[C]

It's basically unlearning everything that we've been taught.

[B]

Yeah, in a lot of ways it really is.

[C]

I mean, it just leaves me scratching my head that I'm just so grateful that your book is out there. I'm so grateful this conversation is happening and I just wish I'm so happy for our kids. I'm sad for us. I mean, at least we're finally getting this information now. But it is wild, don't you think, about how differently you're raising your daughters?

[B]

100% is so crazy. And I'm sure that they will lovingly find fault in other things that, you know, they pick up that I'm still processing and haven't figured out. I'm sure. I do think there's so many things that I have sort of gone through the looking glass with and they no longer have to hold that stuff. Like this morning, my daughter goes, before she left for school, she goes, she's in sixth grade, mom, you need to sign my test because I did really badly on it. You know, I got a D minus. You know, I put my hand on her shoulder and then I looked at her. So she turns her head, looks at me and I go. And you know what I think about that. And she goes, yeah, you just think I tried my best and I didn't do badly. I'm like, of course. Like, do your best. Like, she's a great kid. You know, she's such a nice person. And I said to her, and you know that you might find that you actually can do better and you also might find that, like, math is not your thing and you're going to do well in life because you're just a really kind person, which is, like, the best thing to be. And she's like, I know you always say that. And so I sign it. It's like, in many ways, they have learned that they don't have to do anything to be loved, because that's ridiculous.

[C]

So powerful.

[B]

It's so good.

[C]

Just unbelievable to have this realization right now. It's really, really powerful. So thank you for that. Talk to me a little bit about imposter syndrome, because I know a lot of the people listening right now struggle with it. I know me starting out as an entrepreneur, I struggled with it so, so much. How do you help people deal with imposter syndrome?

[B]

Well, I think, first of all, I spoke at an event this weekend. It was Dr. Edith Eager's event. She's so amazing. She's a Holocaust survivor. She's 97. She wrote these two bestselling books, the Gift and the Choice, which became super famous. And she said, there are four P's that we have to get rid of. And the first P, she said, creates the next three. She's a psychologist as well, but she said the first P is perfectionism. And it creates, she said, procrastination, which then creates paranoia. You're, like, paranoid that what you create might not be great, so you procrastinate, and then it creates paralysis. So I think all of that is imposter syndrome. I think imposter syndrome is I don't have the courage to make something not perfect because I could get rejected, and I won't belong to others if I'm not perfect. So I'd rather not do anything. Who am I to do? This is really, what if it's not great? What if people don't like it? And the truth is that there's no straight lines in nature. It's not a thing. And the truth is that there's no one in the world who's ever been given a permission slip by God, like, oh, yeah, you're ready now to have an opinion or to do this work? Like, who's anyone to do anything? Like, who was Oprah to tell herself that she's worthy of, like, starting the Oprah show? She did. Who is anyone to do anything? I heard Ed Sheeran say that when he used to go skiing, he'd go into the mountains and they'd, you know, go to a cabin and they turn on the water, and because no one had been there for a few weeks, the water would come out, like, brown. And then they'd let the water keep running, and it would Be clear again, like within like five seconds. He said when he was songwriting, he experienced the same thing where, like when you're first writing a song, you have to kind of let the water run a little bit through the sludgy water. And as you keep writing, just, it gets better and better. And so he said most people judge themselves on the brown sludgy water because they just didn't give themselves a chance to like get into flow state. But it, like, it takes a minute. I think if we have the courage to make something mediocre and we keep going, we won't be able to help making something brilliant after a while. And we'll find the thing that we're meant to make. Like, we're not all meant to be great at cooking or basketball, but there's certain things that when we just start where we are, we'll be kind of led to what's brilliant and kind of flow state will take over and it'll, it'll direct us where the river wants us to be. And I think we all start out with that. Like, who am I to do this? Because the mind wants you to be safe, so it wants to control and predict the outcome. But the soul knows that you've been preparing to be you in every moment you're in your whole life. And you don't need to prepare. You just need to trust yourself in the moment and be with the moment and the most brilliant thing will be created. And I think the imposter is the mind, because we all have this both and it's like the soul version of us and then the somebody suit we're wearing. And the somebody suit wants to prepare and overthink and over deliver. And the soul in us just wants to show up in the moment and see what's the most loving, open hearted way to live in this moment. And that part doesn't have imposter syndrome. Truly the most impressive person in a room is not the one who went to the fanciest college. It's the person who's the kindest, the most impressive person in the room. It doesn't matter what they're wearing or what they drove to the party. It matters how people feel around them. So the thing is that's so interesting is we have this imposter syndrome. Like, I don't have a PhD or, you know, I'm just starting a podcast, I don't have any downloads. When really the most impressive thing to anyone is not how many downloads. It's not where you went to college, it's how Authentic are you? How real are you? How kind are you, how willing to be humble are you? And if that is the most impressive thing, which we all know that it is, when we hear that we're completely overqualified to be authentic and real. Like, how often on my podcast do I say things like, I don't know the answers to this. I want to find them out. Let's do it together. You know, on my podcast, I often say, it's not look at me, it's come with me, let's figure it out. I don't know. I don't claim to know it all. I'm just kind of like, coming up with what I think is, like, the best possible way that I could add value in a moment. But I think that that is the antithesis of imposter syndrome is the small part of you, the mind in you thinks you have to know everything and your soul just wants to be curious. Like, let's just ask better questions and be here moment by moment, being the most authentic that person that we can, and that becomes really powerful.

[C]

Tell us, where can everybody get abundant ever after? People need to get this book.

[B]

You can get it anywhere. You can get it Barnes and Noble or Target or Amazon. And then we created a bunch of bonuses, which is just really fun when you write a book to create extra value. And I do think that we came up with things that people would love, like a morning journal and affirmation cards and a book companion guide that gives you, like, takeaways for every chapter and journal prompts. And you can get all of those bonuses at kathyhiller.com/book. And you can buy the book wherever you want. And it's so generous of you to be so humble and, and just like you give so much space to your guests and you learn from everyone. You're such a lifelong learner and it's such a beautiful quality because you have so much to share. And I really feel that from you and I feel how just generousness about you. I just really appreciate it. Just such a beautiful gift. You're going to make me cry.

[A]

Oh, my gosh, you're the best.

[C]

Right back at you. I have such a special connection to you. You are such an amazing human. I'm so grateful for all the work you do. I'm so grateful for your podcast. I'm so grateful for this book and super grateful for you. And I can't wait to see you in LA soon, my friend.

[B]

Thank you.

[C]

All right, go to kathyhaller.com book get the bonuses you're gonna want them. Get ready to change your life. And get ready to start living your most abundant ever after. Until next week. Keep creating your confidence. You know I will be. See you then.

[A]

I decided to change that dynamic.

[C]

I couldn't be more excited for what.

[B]

You'Re going to hear.

[C]

Start learning and growing.

[A]

Inevitably something will happen.

[B]

No one succeeds alone. You don't stop and look around once in a while. You could miss it.

[C]

Come on this journey with me.