← Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Break the Burnout Cycle and Reclaim Your Worth with Sarah Pendrick
00:39:30
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- [00:00]
Sarah Pendrick
I actually gave myself the space to dive deeper into where that doubt was coming from. And once you have that awareness and you're also just giving yourself, it's like with a relationship, if you ignore your partner, if you ignore your friend, you're not going to get anywhere. Self love is not selfish because then you can be a better mom, you could be a better dad, you could be a better business partner, you could be a better human being walking in the world.
- [00:23]
Heather Monahan
Come on this journey with me each week when you join me, you're going to chase down our goals, overcome adversity and set you up for a better tomorrow. I'm ready for my close up.
- [00:35]
Unknown
Tell me, have you been enjoying these new bonus confidence classics episodes we've been dropping on you every week? We've literally hundreds of episodes for you to listen to.
- [00:44]
Heather Monahan
So these bonuses are a great way.
- [00:46]
Unknown
To help you find the ones you may have already missed. I hope you love this one as.
- [00:51]
Heather Monahan
Much as I do. Hi and welcome back. I'm so excited for you to meet my guest this week. Sarah Pendrick is the founder of Girl Talk Network, a woman empowerment and lifestyle brand and the creator of Girl Talk Foundation, a 501 C3 that gives back to younger generations. She's a sought after mentor, host, author of the book Beautifully Brave and creator of the women's empowerment and self development event Girl Talk Festival. Sarah has dedicated her life to supporting people and living bravely as their true selves, teaching them to believe in their gifts so that they can fill their lives with abundance, love and complete awareness of their worth. She's been featured in Forbes, NBC, the Doctors E Entrepreneur and was called an iconic woman Creating a better world at the Woman Economic Forum. Holy cow. She has spoken on stages all around the world and she lives in Manhattan Beach, California with her husband Josh and their fur baby titan, Sarah. Thank you so much for being here.
- [01:49]
Sarah Pendrick
Oh my gosh, I'm so excited to be here.
- [01:51]
Heather Monahan
It was a journey for us to get here today. It was.
- [01:56]
Sarah Pendrick
But I also love how we're just on that same wavelength where we're like, this is going on. Like, can we switch to this? Like, it just worked out perfectly.
- [02:04]
Heather Monahan
It did. Anytime someone is really thoughtful and nice in real life, I want people to know because I mean, as we all know, you see people on Instagram, on social media, you have hundreds of thousands of followers. You look nice, but no one really knows. I just want to say that you are the nicest flipping person. And for anyone who follows me on social media, my son broke his arm. And I had an awful week last week, so I was so worried about him and going to see him. And Sarah was so sweet. After all the challenges for us to connect, you offered to move it for me because you were worried about my son. And I just wanted to say that was so sweet. Thank you so much.
- [02:40]
Sarah Pendrick
Of course. I know what that's like, especially when you're an entrepreneur. And I was just like, oh, I wonder if she feels bad moving this. I want to give her that space if she needs it, because we'll make this happen when it's supposed to.
- [02:52]
Heather Monahan
Oh, you're amazing. And you know what's so funny is when we were just talking before we started recording was you were sharing with me how much your book launch actually changed, unbeknownst to you, out of your control. Just goes to show, there's so many things that can go wrong that people don't know are happening behind the scenes. You have no idea.
- [03:13]
Sarah Pendrick
Yeah, I think. You know what, now that we're talking about this, I think that the reason that that happened for me, even though it was super frustrating and very hard for marketing and plans and all the things, it had me be more flexible. Of course, I don't like when people cancel last minute all the. All the things, but I'm in a season right now that if things or plans change, I'm going to take that extra time for myself. So I've really been able to shift that.
- [03:37]
Heather Monahan
You're incredibly young, much younger than I am, and the amount of success, success that you have achieved at this age is unbelievable. Will you give us a little backstory on how you have achieved this much success and how you got here?
- [03:51]
Sarah Pendrick
Thank you for saying that. So let's see. It's so interesting. When I was 13, I knew what I wanted to do. I look back, I know it's crazy. The business plan that I wrote out when I was 13, 14 years old is exactly what girl talk is. I didn't know what I was doing, obviously. I didn't know how to do a business plan. I just wrote, wrote out basically like a visioning of what I wanted to do, like who I wanted to support and what kind of entrepreneur. I knew I wanted to be an entrepreneur, what kind of entrepreneur I wanted to be. And then I found it years later when I was in college and going to finish my PhD and it actually supported me. And it's crazy that I did this, but I always get the chills when I share it. Stopping, going for my PhD and being like, you know, What? I've spent a lot of time and money here. There's absolutely nothing wrong with if I continued or not. What do I really want to do? And it wasn't going to be sitting in an office and it wasn't going to be able to make the impact in the way that I felt that I was supposed to be my best to make the impact. So I stopped everything. Lots of time and money. It's okay. And then moved to LA and was doing as much as I could to be able to survive in LA before I started Girl Talk a couple of years after that.
- [04:58]
Heather Monahan
Did you get a lot of negative kickback when you made that decision to drop the PhD?
- [05:03]
Sarah Pendrick
Yeah. So I actually think back on that and I have no idea how. I think it was just the power of, like, really knowing what you want and trusting your intuition and the unknown because it was so scary. And at that time, I didn't have a lot of entrepreneurs around me or the people that I have around me now. So I look back and I'm like, that was just like a testament to God. Or like, how did I do that with everyone being like, you're insane and you're gonna move to la. Like, this is crazy that you're doing this.
- [05:29]
Heather Monahan
Were your parents supporting you through that or was it more just tuning into your own intuition?
- [05:35]
Sarah Pendrick
No. So my mom was scared for me. She, you know, she had four kids, she didn't work. She just was literally scared, like, for her. She was like, this is insane. Surprisingly. And I have an interesting relationship with my dad. He was supportive. He's an entrepreneur. So I think that that was the one thing that we agreed on with all the years of our difficulties, but I really just did it on my own completely. Just. I remember sitting in my car being like, I don't even know how I'm going to pay rent on some of the months.
- [06:05]
Heather Monahan
Here's the thing, though, and for everyone listening, I feel like it's so much smarter to do that at a young age, before you have kids, before you have companies, employees, whatever. You know, fast forward to my situation, which is a complete opposite. I went the other route, right? I went the corporate America route and then in my mid-40s, decided to go.
- [06:24]
Sarah Pendrick
Out on my own.
- [06:24]
Heather Monahan
And I will tell you, when I hear your story, I think to myself, I wish that I had had the courage or the bravery when I was younger to go for something like that. I'm sure you're so glad that you did that.
- [06:35]
Sarah Pendrick
No, you know what? I also really, obviously, everything happens for A reason. And I in particular love your story. I think it supports and it doesn't matter, like how young, how old, how anything. You can make anything happen if you just believe in yourself. So I think you're also out there supporting people that are like, I'm a tiny bit younger than you. And I'm like, oh, I want to be her. I want to be her in a couple of years. Like she shows that anything's possible. So I think we're all here just to follow our own intuition and then also being inspiring those that are watching us.
- [07:06]
Heather Monahan
So Sarah, tell me how you had this 13 year old vision of girl talk and how do you go from this concept to actually making it happen?
- [07:15]
Sarah Pendrick
Yeah, so like I said, I came to LA and I'm like, what am I gonna do? I was just thinking like, who do I know? What can I do here? Did the hostessing thing and then hostess at night. And then I went and worked in the fashion industry with marketing because I had learned market, I knew how to talk to people. I just started gathering all these different skills. And then one day, actually after my first Tony Robbins event, I realized that this was fast forward like two years later and I was successful in what I was doing in PR and marketing. I realized that I was building everyone else's brand but still not doing something of my own. And that's when I came across that business plan from when I was like 13 or 14 and getting back from UPW. And I'm like, once again, maybe this is my pattern. I kind of burned the boats. Like all my client contracts were coming to an end. I had this agency that was amazing and I'm like, you know, I don't have to worry about paying my rent. I'm doing amazing. Do I want to start all over again? And that's when I was like, yeah, I do. Because why did I come here? Why did I stop my PhD? Why did I move all the way to LA? I came here to have a platform and something that not only healed me, but also healed other people around me.
- [08:24]
Heather Monahan
Wow, that is so powerful. And I love what you said about you are building everyone else's brand. And I so, so feel that. And for anyone listening right now, investing in yourself and even if you're working for another company or you're doing something different, still build your own brand, be in charge of that. What was that like for you? Starting to invest in yourself and build your brand?
- [08:44]
Sarah Pendrick
I think that that is what's made me such a successful and fulfilled businesswoman is by like listening to my soul, listening to my intuition and taking those risks. And that's what's build my resilience and the things that I've been able to create. And also, even though at the time I burned the boats again, I had already had success and I was doing those things on the side. So when I share the stories, I'm not saying everyone go like, burn the boats. But what I'm saying is when we really tap into what our soul knows and what we really want to be doing. I talk about this in the book. Think about what you wanted to be when you were younger, because there's a message in there for that. That's when you start really getting that success. And even more so, more important than success is that fulfillment.
- [09:29]
Heather Monahan
Oh, it's so, so true. I love that idea of thinking about what was it that you wanted to do? What were you drawn to do before people started telling you you can't do that?
- [09:39]
Sarah Pendrick
Exactly.
- [09:40]
Heather Monahan
So what was the girl talk journey like? It sounds like success was just coming easy. Was it simple to create this?
- [09:46]
Sarah Pendrick
You know what's crazy? The very first event that I put on was simple. I will say I did not have a social media following. I maybe had like 500 or A on my personal Instagram at the time. But what I did is I went old school, I went door to door. I had the event in Manhattan beach, where I live, which is right next to LAX outside of la. I got businesses involved. I brought value to each person that was going to support the event. And though it was hard work, it came together so easily and it sold out, which just doesn't happen. It has not been that easy since. I will say that. Not at all. And I think the reason it was that easy is because I was following what my soul knew and I was, was just trusting and it just all came together. And then of course, as you continue to build and shift, you have more challenges that come with that. But I would rather be going through those challenges than anything else that I was doing.
- [10:40]
Heather Monahan
But I would think to me, and again, I'm on the outside looking in. You have hundreds of thousands of people in your community, this massive community. I would think it would become easier as you went on.
- [10:50]
Sarah Pendrick
You know what, I asked myself that sometimes too. So I think it's different. It's different of what you're doing. Like when I was doing courses and the membership, because I built community and was just so authentic and really had them not only like heal with me, but also just have them as friends as well. So courses and things like that were easy. What started to get more difficult was filling events because there's so many events out there. And so that's where I kind of started to sit back and I had my self doubt come in, which I write about in the book, and how to rise above that, where I was like, oh, there's so many events, like, who am I to have another event? Like, is this event going to sell out? And I went down like that path for a while, and once I cleared that, it became easier again. I just had my biggest event that I had right when the start of 2020, Girl Talk Festival. And when I was able to clear that doubt and stop worrying and comparing, the festival sold out. And it was my most favorite event that we've done so far.
- [11:48]
Heather Monahan
What did you do to clear that doubt?
- [11:50]
Sarah Pendrick
So the thing that I do when doubt comes up, and this is why I wrote about it in the book, because it doesn't matter who you are, Doubt comes up, things happen. You have different seasons in your life. Instead of trying to, you know, talk it away or pretend that it wasn't there, just like, keep going down this road. I actually gave myself the space to dive deeper into where that doubt was coming from. And once you have that awareness and you're also just giving yourself, it's like with a relationship, if you ignore your partner, if you ignore your friend, you're not going to get anywhere. So I was ignoring myself and just trying to push through and be like, okay, well, this is what you do to sell at an event. And the minute I actually gave myself that time, there's something that energetically cleared also my energy and my care doubled. So I was able to come at things from a different perspective and just really clear that space for people to organically start finding the event.
- [12:42]
Heather Monahan
That's so interesting to me because I am definitely the person that always thinks power through, power through. The idea of giving yourself the space, space to sit in, it is actually sounds a little scary to me.
- [12:53]
Sarah Pendrick
Yeah, I know it is. It is so scary to most people and it's. It's still scary to me. Like, I have to remind myself, hey, when you do this, it really pays off. Plus, you have so many different ideas. And all the things that we did at the event came from me being able to give myself that space.
- [13:09]
Heather Monahan
And for you, with the pandemic hitting and you've got an event business, what was that like to work through?
- [13:15]
Sarah Pendrick
The pandemic happened right after Girls Talk Festival. So of course I'm like, thank goodness because I do not I know people that were not as lucky in that situation. So I am so grateful. I do not know what I would have done. So I always am so grateful for that. And the thing that I realized is I just went through so much self doubt and so much like push through that promotion of that event until it started really becoming easy, easier. I had already done the work that when the pandemic hit I was in that space that the pandemic it didn't bring me down and I was able to just creatively think of okay, how can I have this work for me? And I started doing things virtually and it's been amazing and it's also even supported me in knowing more. And this is what I wrote about in the book too is knowing more how to take care of myself and I don't need to be doing in person events every three months, every six months. Like that's un. That's actually unnecessary and you're able to connect with more people around the world now that we have things virtually as well.
- [14:15]
Heather Monahan
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- [14:21]
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- [17:47]
Sarah Pendrick
I.
- [17:47]
Heather Monahan
Asked you to try to find your passion so what will that business look like for you moving forward?
- [17:53]
Sarah Pendrick
So I just got out of my whole book launch which we were talking about talking about space. This is something that I truly do. I have an entire 12 day retreat for myself and my team where we're going to dive into what's next and.
- [18:06]
Heather Monahan
Looking at if you are going to still focus on live events or if you're going to be doing more of the virtual.
- [18:11]
Sarah Pendrick
Yeah. And I know that we'll be doing both and we'll never go back to the way that it was pre, which obviously we're all experiencing that and I'm okay with that.
- [18:21]
Heather Monahan
I'm okay with that too because it means a lot less flights, right? Yeah, for sure. But I'll tell you just personally I've only done one live event since we've been back and it was pure magic, Sarah, Just being around people, it was super, super exciting in a way that I don't remember it.
- [18:38]
Sarah Pendrick
Yeah, and I experienced that with my book party too because I just think we've missed each other. Like you get zoomed out, like you want to like reach out and hug someone. You want to have that connection and that energy that can only be in person. But the thing that I love, and I'd love to know what you think about this, I like a little of both because like you said, what if there's so many events, especially as an attendee and event? There's 10 events that I want to go to. How do you work that into your schedule with kids, life, business and travel? That's not really sustainable for your self care. And I think that a lot of us, we're getting, as a society, we're getting so close to burnout before the pandemic. So now it's like having both. So when we do come in person, it's even more magical. That's the way that I'm thinking about it.
- [19:17]
Heather Monahan
Yeah, I totally and completely agree with you. And it's funny. It's also around how we value our time. That has changed for me now because we could do so many events, you know, in one given day and I could still be at home and see my son. Now as people are starting to book live events out, you know, through the end of the year, next year, I'm thinking to myself, wait a minute, I have to take two planes to get there. I have to sleep over. The value of that changes. I used to look at it as I'm valuing the hour, I'm speaking or whatever for an event. But now I'm really starting to think so differently. Only because of the pandemic.
- [19:54]
Sarah Pendrick
I know I'm actually really in that case grateful for that shift because I'm doing the same too. And I'm realizing how important our time really is, how valuable that is, especially with our energy because you expend so much energy by doing those different flights. So I'm super grateful for that. And it's even supported me in the speaking engagements that I am going to do. I don't say yes to everything. I really think about it intentionally. And I think that no matter what, even if you don't do something similar to what you and I do, Heather, I think it's such a gift that we can all start realizing that our time and the way that we take care of ourselves is what's really going to bring us happiness and success and that we've been able to kind of. Oh, like. Because I don't know about you, now that you're getting so many different invites and all these events, I've had to step back again and be like, all right, we're not going to do this again. Remember, things are. Things have shifted. Like, how are we going to do this differently to take care of ourselves?
- [20:47]
Heather Monahan
Oh, yeah, no, totally and completely agree with you. So share with us. How did you even come to think about writing a book? How did this happen when you have this massive company that you're already running?
- [20:58]
Sarah Pendrick
Yeah. So I'll be honest. I think, especially in our industry, if you agree with me, it's like a book. Of course, that's what you do. You do an event, you do a program, then you write a book. That kind of stuff was always in the circles and the events and the masterminds. So I kind of got into that energy, and it didn't feel great. I was like, oh, I'm not inspired to write a book. But I knew since I was younger that I wanted to write a book. So I watched it shift from something that I knew in my soul that I wanted to do and that I was gonna do to something that felt, like, required. So I was paying attention to that. I don't know if you felt that or I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. It's like, everyone's like, when are you.
- [21:37]
Heather Monahan
Going to write a book?
- [21:38]
Sarah Pendrick
You're just. That's what you're supposed to do.
- [21:40]
Heather Monahan
For me, it's, when are you going to get married? Or when are you going to go back to corporate America? There's so many assumptions or projections that society puts on you, and it really comes down to that moment to say, like. Like you did with the book. This isn't my moment right now. I don't feel that it's the right time versus. And then eventually you did feel it.
- [21:59]
Sarah Pendrick
Yeah, that's something that I'm Right now. Like, all those society pressures are like, when are you doing this? Like, I'm really focused. And that's one of the main reasons that I wrote the book, because I really want to be a part of breaking those expectations and judgments down. And for people to really just hone in on their own faith and their intuition and make decisions from that place and being able to take care of themselves so that they can be their most successful and most fulfilled. And so when I started to realize, oh, I actually genuinely wanted to write a Book. And I've let the industry take that away from me. I let them do that because I started putting pressure on myself. And then when I really started questioning that, that's when that snap. No, you want to write a book to support people in this exact thing. And then I spent most of the pandemic writing the book.
- [22:50]
Heather Monahan
Oh, so that timing actually worked out more.
- [22:52]
Sarah Pendrick
Yeah.
- [22:53]
Heather Monahan
And what was the process like for you? Did you find it hard or did you think it was pretty easy to write?
- [22:57]
Sarah Pendrick
It was both. It was both. And everyone's like, it's going to be so easy. Like, you're inside. What else are you going to do? But the way that I work. And this is something that I talk about in the book too. For people to discover the way that I work or the way that you work or the way that any like, is not all the same for me. I like to be in inspiring places and I like to feed off energy. So sitting in my house and not leaving it for three months in the beginning, like, that didn't feel very inspiring.
- [23:21]
Heather Monahan
No.
- [23:22]
Sarah Pendrick
But it also, it helped. It reminded me of how important our self care is and that it's so much a part of growth. So everything obviously worked out amazingly. But there were days that I was like, what the heck am I doing? And what's going to come out of me? And then days that it just poured out of me and I was reminded of, like, this was the right time. This is the perfect time. So many people are going to be impacted by this book. And I also put my own processes. This might sound weird. I put my own processes in there. So I even read the book.
- [23:53]
Heather Monahan
No, that doesn't sound weird to you at all? Sarah, I always. I'll tell you, my first book, I would have bad days or start doubting myself. You know, who am I to be an author? How can I. Is this even real? Am I kidding myself? And I would literally sit down and start reading my book. Typically, people teach what they need to be reminded of, right?
- [24:12]
Sarah Pendrick
Yeah.
- [24:12]
Heather Monahan
So with.
- [24:13]
Sarah Pendrick
Beautifully brave.
- [24:14]
Heather Monahan
I'll tell you, number one, this book is gorgeous. And I mentioned this to you when we first got on today, that it's a very unique design. It's a totally different layout. And I just. Were you nervous taking any creative risk when you came into this?
- [24:28]
Sarah Pendrick
I actually wasn't. That was something that I was super sure about. I wanted it to be a book that caught your eye from the shelf or that you can put in your home. It can even be a conversation starter if it's on Your coffee table and it's so beautiful. And you have guests over and they're like, oh, what is this? And there's prompts and questions. I really created it for. I think you can feel it. And a lot of people have said that when you look at it, when you hold it, you can really feel that self empowerment inside. And that's like, I did it. This is what I did with my first event too, that I forgot to say. I thought about it with the end in mind and anytime I've done that, everything works out.
- [25:03]
Heather Monahan
The end in mind being you were thinking about the book being out there.
- [25:07]
Sarah Pendrick
I was thinking about.
- [25:08]
Heather Monahan
Right, Yeah.
- [25:09]
Sarah Pendrick
I was thinking about people holding it, feeling like that. Love and empowerment inside. How I wanted people to feel after, during, when they read it. I really carefully designed it carefully and also had it be on a journey to meet you wherever you're at or just pick it up on a Monday when you need it in the morning or when we were talking about, oh, I need that reminder of the self doubt. And that's what I did with my event too. I imagined the attendees walking in and how they would feel, how they would put their guard down. Like that's something that I keep coming back to as when I'm most successful and when things work out is when I think of the end in mind.
- [25:43]
Heather Monahan
Oh, I love that. And you are so right. Let's dig into the book, starting with self love Myths.
- [25:51]
Sarah Pendrick
Oh, okay. So the reason that I did the self love myths is because first of all, self love is a viral hashtag at this point. I don't even know how many people have hashtagged that. It's millions and millions and millions. And the way I was looking at it is if that many people were practicing self love, the world would look like a way different place. And the thing that I wanted to start the book out is the things that we've been taught from society or the things that we might even have programmed ourselves from our environment to think. So if I talk to the self love myth, so you could really gauge where you're at, be honest to where you're at and then get into things like the science of happiness, how you can really take care of yourself, how you can listen to your soul. But I thought it was important too. First address the things that we've learned in society or that aren't even our own truths by our environment, whoever is around us.
- [26:42]
Heather Monahan
So, so true. And one of the things that I come across a lot is that this idea that self love is selfish People seem to really confuse the two, especially women. Right. Women struggle with putting themselves first.
- [26:55]
Sarah Pendrick
Yeah. And that's what, that's one of the myths in the book. And I personally struggled with that because I would watch myself either speaking up for my needs and thinking, oh, I'm being too much right now or I would be like I'm going to get judged or when it's the selfish part of it, I didn't want to like piss anyone off so I just like wouldn't speak my truth. And that's when I realized when you're not loving yourself, that's when you're really being selfish because you're trying to protect yourself. You're not speaking up for yourself because you don't want any confrontation. Another thing that I'm such a die hard believer in, that self love is the most selfless thing that you can do is because the more that you're taking care of yourself and the more that you're in love with yourself, the better you're going to treat people. And then when those situations of conflict come up, you're going to react differently.
- [27:40]
Heather Monahan
Oh, it's so, so true. So spot on. And I know you talk about this in the book too is about that idea of saying that you love yourself is not egotistical. And even though some people might think that it is.
- [27:52]
Sarah Pendrick
Yeah. Honestly, I have no idea at what point in society like that notion came up, like don't brag about yourself or that's, you know, you're being conceited. Like that was my generation. Like I remember if you complimented yourself or said like, oh yeah, that was really amazing that I did that you were labeled as conceited. And that's something that I really want to work on people on programming that thought because that's there's a relationship, there's a person inside you that needs to hear that we all want to be seen and heard. And while yes, I value being seen and heard by other people, if you're not being seen and heard by yourself, your value from other people, it's never going to be enough. That's why people are always searching for more because they haven't given it to themselves yet.
- [28:32]
Heather Monahan
Oh yeah. And when people feel that society doesn't want to let you do that, that can be such a hold back. So when we look at the book, you get into the four promises. What is the direction and advice that you give when people are having a hard time saying no? Like you mentioned with events coming back and you know, people are being bombarded by acts to do this and that. And we want to give back to people. We want to be around people. But sometimes we need to say no because it's the right thing for us to do for ourselves.
- [28:59]
Sarah Pendrick
Yeah. So the four promises inspired by that. And here's the thing, at the time, those were the four promises that I was living by. And I feel like that's such a start to hone in on those for the things that you're talking about when, like, how do I say no? Or all these things are coming back me, or maybe I keep people pleasing, whatever it is. So this is why I wrote it, which is amazing. I'm happy that you brought this chapter up. You can start with those four promises in the book and you can even make them your own or replace them, because that's where you go back and you're like, oh, I'm doing this thing again. I'm saying yes to too many things again. I'm saying whatever I'm doing, fill in the blank, go back to the four promises and be like, am I keeping these promises to myself? So for right now, for example, when so many things are coming, like so many different events, so many different opportunities, oh, I want to connect. People want to get out and connect more than ever. And I'm realizing I if it doesn't build my wealth, if you aren't my close friends, and if it doesn't make an impact, it's going to be a no for me right now. So that's my version of the promises right now.
- [30:01]
Heather Monahan
Meet a different guest each week.
- [30:07]
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- [33:56]
Heather Monahan
I asked you to try to find your passion. I really like that. One of the things there that you talk about that I find unique about you or definitely different than the things that I talk about is you talk a lot about energy and shifting energy. What's some of the direction that you can provide on that?
- [34:12]
Sarah Pendrick
Here's the thing. Think about when you walk in a room or even you can feel it on Zoom too. There's people that you feel that connection to right away. Like you're like, oh, I just feel like they're my best friend or I feel like we could do something amazing together. You just feel close to them or those, those people that you walk away from a lunch or walk away from a conversation and you feel depleted. Like you're like, oh, they took that energy from me. Like I gave them that energy. So this is my work with energy started because I started really diving into the way that I felt either empowered or uplifted or, or poured into when I would leave a situation or when I would feel depleted from a situation. And there's nothing wrong with the people because we all have that. We all have both. But when I started to focus on that and focus on energy, that's even when I've been. If you're talking about like performance and resilience and all the things that has helped my performance and my happiness to just start paying attention to the energies in the room and the energy and things that I'm doing. And also same with Science of Happiness and chapter two. I started with that to start really, because everyone's like, oh, it's easier said than done. Right. When you say certain things. And the thing is there's a science behind energy. And so that's why I say just start noticing, noticing how you're feeling in your energy in different situations. And if you just start with that, you're going to naturally know what you need to do for yourself in your self care and the situations that you're in. And I think paying attention to your energy is one of the most important things that you can do for yourself.
- [35:46]
Heather Monahan
And if that's something that you're suggesting to journal about, to write down, how do you move forward once you notice it?
- [35:52]
Sarah Pendrick
Yeah. So in the back of chapter two, there's all these different prompts. I should have had the book in front of me so I could have read some of them to just really get you started. But here's the Thing, let's say that you go into a situation and you're realizing that you're depleted, don't go into that situation again. Or if you have to figure out a way that you can come so loved up on yourself and in your prime and that's just going to amplify everything that you're doing and you don't have to go home and journal about it. The first step is just having the awareness.
- [36:24]
Heather Monahan
Pausing, just noticing how you feel is such a powerful thing. And it's not something that I necessarily do normally. I have to be more thoughtful. And that's what I like about the book is you're getting everyone to really focus on things that you wouldn't normally do.
- [36:39]
Sarah Pendrick
Yeah. And here's the thing. When you ignore something, when you ignore a feeling or you ignore that self doubt or whatever it is, when you're ignoring and just not giving yourself that just a little bit of time, it could be two minutes a day, you actually build more fear inside of you. So if something's bothering you but you're not going to address it because you're like, I'm too busy, you're just going to amplify it and you're going to end up even more scared of it. So that's why this book is so important because it's like especially for high performers, for people that have a big mission for everyone. Really. Just give yourself that couple minutes or whatever it is and you're going to actually give yourself so much time back in general because you're not going to be wasting your time. You're going to have like the downloads of this is what I want to do. This is not what I want to do. This is what I want to do in my business. This is not. It's actually going to save you time, save you energy and make you money.
- [37:27]
Heather Monahan
So you talk a lot about healing. And you know, this is even before the book around healing. How have you and how do you talk the readers through overcoming hurt and healing?
- [37:37]
Sarah Pendrick
It's another thing of the awareness of how you're feeling. Just to know what the feelings are that are going through your body and take an inventory of what is coming up for you. So it could be in a situation that could trigger something that needs to be healed. So maybe right now you could think of something that keeps coming up for you where you're noticing yourself getting triggered in a situation and this is where you would actually sit down and journal it out and ask yourself those questions. Why do I keep getting triggered when so and so says this in a meeting, or why do I keep getting triggered in a social dinner setting? Or why do I get triggered when my mom or dad says xyz? Whatever it is, asking yourself so that you can get to what's under there. Because it could be something that happened when you were 10 years old. It could be something that happened when you were whatever it is. If you ask yourself the question, you're going to get an answer, and then it's going to literally guide you back to a place that needs to be healed. And it's so good to do this work because we could get so upset, upset or annoyed or stressed in a situation where that situation actually really isn't even a problem for us. It's whatever the situation is representing from.
- [38:43]
Heather Monahan
Our past that is so powerful and so true. And you end up giving these people power over you when you don't heal these triggers and get to that core. And you are so right. It is never about that word that came out in that moment, but it's about what's underlying.
- [39:00]
Sarah Pendrick
Yeah. And that's where I was like, I don't want to give my power away anymore. That's why I started doing the work. Because I'm like, I don't even care, like, that person what they said. Like, they didn't even know what they were saying. It wasn't even about me. And then I thought about it for a whole week, got taken away from my family, my work. And that's when I just decided the way that I want to live is in my power. And these are the things that you get to do for yourself in order to live that way.
- [39:22]
Heather Monahan
Oh, my gosh. That is so, so true. And I just. I'm thinking of a very specific situation in my life in the last week where I. The word triggered. You just reminded me. I immediately, I was angry. I could feel my blood pressure rise. I could feel anxious, you know, and when that feeling comes, it's so much easier to react. It takes a little bit more of a thoughtful discipline to say, I need to ask myself, what is it I'm really responding to right now?
- [39:49]
Sarah Pendrick
I know it's so difficult in that moment. And here's another thing that for those that are like, oh, I haven't gotten there yet, where I can notice, it just be like, is that person deserving to take your power right now? Do you want to give them that satisfaction? And it's like, you can start from that place, and then you'll start, like, shifting and coming from the place of, I don't care what they think. I just want to be healed and I want to live literally the most happiest life that I can.
- [40:15]
Heather Monahan
Oh, that is so, so good. I hope everybody takes note of that one because we have all been there before and we'll all be there again. Especially like you said, as we are out more and more at events as we are back out as it's new. I noticed myself even just going to a gym now in person. Little things making you feel stressed out or anxious. And it's so important to ask ourselves those questions. Where is this coming from? And is there another response? And like you said, is it even worth this?
- [40:45]
Sarah Pendrick
I know, that's such a good point because we've all been kind of in our own energy and our own things for the last year and so we're really going to be tested more than ever now. And that's why it's so important to choose to have these tools for yourself, not for anyone else, but for yourself first. So that you could then that's why self love is not selfish because then you can be a better mom, you could be a better dad, you could be a better business partner, you could be a better human being walking in the world.
- [41:11]
Heather Monahan
So Sarah, who is beautifully brave written.
- [41:13]
Sarah Pendrick
For beautifully brave is really honestly written for anyone. There is not one person that walks this earth that doesn't deserve or need self love. So I wanted to make a book that you could open it up to any page and get a message that you need or that you could really deepen your self love which is only going to enrich every area of your life.
- [41:36]
Heather Monahan
And you even mentioned that you've had men read it and they've loved it.
- [41:39]
Sarah Pendrick
Yeah, I do. Of course I like talk about being a woman in there and talk about my events women come to. But it's funny because they'll have their husbands or boyfriends or brothers come too. And they're like, oh, we're gonna drop them off. But they actually end up up staying. It's been the same with this book where they're like, oh, I need that to you or that's such a good reminder. You take what you need from it and it doesn't matter who you are or what gender you are when you read it.
- [42:04]
Heather Monahan
Well, I think everybody needs some bravery in their life. So I'm grateful that you wrote this book. Where can everybody find you and where can they get the book?
- [42:11]
Sarah Pendrick
Yes, you can get the book on Amazon or where anywhere books are sold or@beautifullybravebook.com and then come say hi to me on Instagram. Arapendrick. I'm always on there. I love connecting.
- [42:22]
Heather Monahan
Oh, thank you, Sarah. Thank you so much for being brave enough to write this book and put it out into the world. And thank you for your time and being here today.
- [42:29]
Sarah Pendrick
Thank you, Heather. And I can't wait for your book to be out.
- [42:32]
Heather Monahan
Oh, my gosh. Birthing a book is very similar to birthing a baby and all the stress that goes with it. So I'm right there in it with you.
- [42:41]
Sarah Pendrick
I got your back. I'm gonna support you.
- [42:43]
Heather Monahan
Oh, I know you do. Thank you, Sarah. And thank you for listening. Until next week. Keep creating your confidence. I decided to change that dynamic. I couldn't be more excited for what you're gonna hear. Start learning and growing. Inevitably something will happen. No one succeeds alone.
- [43:05]
Sarah Pendrick
You don't stop and look around once in a while. You could miss it.
- [43:08]
Heather Monahan
Come on this journey with me.