Podcast Summary: Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan

Episode: Confidence Classic: Face Fear and Go All In on Taking Back Your Power

Host: Heather Monahan
Date: August 20, 2025

Overview

In this Confidence Classic episode, Heather Monahan dives deep into strategies for facing fear, taking back personal power, and breaking through adversity. Drawing from her own experiences, recent challenges, faith, and lessons from her bestselling books, Heather shares actionable advice for listeners who want to reclaim their confidence, reframe their struggles, and leapfrog over the “villains” in their lives. The episode weaves personal stories, listener Q&A, expert techniques, and memorable anecdotes that encourage a mindset shift from self-doubt to self-leadership.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Reframing Adversity & Living with Faith (00:00 – 10:25)

• Adversity as a Breakthrough: Heather opens by normalizing struggle: "Things don't always go seamlessly, right?... There's a lot of challenges along the way, a lot of bummer moments where you're just kind of like, what? Why? Maybe I'm not supposed to do this... But I've decided to see it as maybe all of this adversity is showing up and challenging me because I'm ready to break through." [00:01]
• Perspective from Pain: She recounts a sermon at Vue Church about a man who lost three children to a drunk driver but forgave the offender immediately, highlighting the power of perspective and gratitude.
• Faith Over Control: Heather discusses lessons from the devotional Jesus Calling, emphasizing giving thanks despite uncertainty and embracing faith over the need for control: “God's plan is greater than yours. And it is not for us to challenge our fight. It is for us to let go and walk with faith, even though we don't understand yet.” [07:45]
• Actionable Advice: She encourages listeners to move, do something that fosters gratitude, and recognize the universality of struggle.

2. The “Scar” Experiment & The Power of Mindset (10:26 – 13:44)

• Heather shares a psychological study where participants believed they had a scar on their faces. Despite the scar being removed, they reported negative experiences, illustrating how mindset can distort reality.
• Key Message: "They created within their mind turmoil inside that actually did not exist on the outside." [12:50]
• She underscores the importance of not internalizing external crises and focusing on activities—and people—that bring joy and perspective.

3. Facing Fear: The Supermodel Event Story (13:45 – 18:00)

• Personal Anecdote: Heather recounts being invited by her intimidating, model friend Iman to an influencer event requiring her to wear a bathing suit among supermodels—a scenario that triggered her self-doubt and imposter syndrome.
• Past Lessons: She recalls a similar intimidating event in the past where stepping into fear led to a life-changing opportunity: the photograph that became her first book’s cover.
• Takeaway: "Not going and shrinking back because of fear is not an option... Stepping into the unknown is always the answer. Stepping into fear is the right thing to do. There is no alternative." [16:55]
• Outcome: By confronting her fear and showing up, she found support, connection, and unexpected opportunities.

4. Listener Q&A: Taking Back Your Power & Overcoming People-Pleasing (21:45 – 33:00)

• How to Shift Power Dynamics: Heather offers a detailed, actionable guide for listeners who feel disempowered or stuck as people-pleasers.
• Real-World Example: She recounts being fired by a “nasty woman” after 14 years at her job and how she reclaimed her power in the moment by calmly refusing to sign either exit memo:
  • "In any instant, you can change the power. This is great news. You don’t need to train on this for seven years… You can flip the script in any moment on who holds the power." [23:49]
• Steps for Reclaiming Power:
  • Write down your intention (“I own the power in my life”)
  • Use reminders and affirmations
  • Dress for confidence (wear “power colors”)
  • Visualize successful outcomes
  • Use music and scents (her lavender hack) to prime your mindset
  • Recall previous moments of strength
  • Stay calm, never react out of anger—”Reacting to what other people do allows them to control you. So never react. Always stay calm." [25:30]
• Becoming Your Own Hype Person: Heather stresses the importance of self-assurance—if you’re not your own best supporter, you teach others not to support you either.

5. Conquering Negative Self-Talk & The Power of Self-Advocacy (33:01 – 41:00)

• The Villain Within: Heather addresses how to change negative self-talk, emphasizing that the shift from negativity to positivity starts with a single decision.
  • "Your negative self talk, how you're talking to yourself in your mind, how you're showing up is teaching everybody else how to see you." [35:39]
• Practical Techniques:
  • Use affirmations daily (e.g., while washing hands)
  • Pretend you’re coaching someone you love—then talk to yourself that way
  • Try new approaches: therapy, hypnosis, tapping
  • Surround yourself with positive influences (books, podcasts, people)
  • Make decisions that reinforce your confidence (e.g., working out)
• Villains in Your Circle: She reveals that getting rid of toxic people (external villains) grants the energy to deal with your own limiting thoughts (the “villain within”).

6. On Timing, Setbacks, and the Myth of Seamlessness (47:14 – 53:00)

• Life Doesn’t Happen on Schedule: Heather reflects on moments when her biggest opportunities seemed badly timed (e.g., her TEDx talk posting the night before Thanksgiving), only to reveal their value in hindsight.
• Key Lesson: “Sometimes the timing's not up to us, and sometimes the timing's not great, but it doesn't mean what we created isn't great. It is right. We just have to have faith and move forward, knowing it will catch fire eventually.” [49:20]
• Don’t Compare Your Low Moments to Others’ Highlights: She shares stories about assuming other people (even NBA players) have it all together, only to discover they too struggle with confidence.

7. Excerpt from “Overcome Your Villains”: Taking People Off the Pedestal (53:00 – End)

• Heather reads from Chapter 5 of her book, sharing a relatable story about coaching an NBA player through confidence issues and personal setbacks, illustrating:
  • Everyone struggles, no matter their outward appearance or status.
  • "Putting others on a pedestal simply puts us beneath them. Making the decision that we are all equal puts us on the same footing as everyone else." [59:45]
  • The most important person to be “too nice” to is yourself.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On breaking through adversity:
  “Maybe all of this adversity is showing up and challenging me because I’m ready to break through and I just have to believe that.” (Heather Monahan, 00:01)

• On perspective and faith:
  “God’s plan is greater than yours... It is for us to let go and walk with faith, even though we don’t understand yet.” (07:45)

• On believing in yourself:
  "If you don’t believe wholeheartedly in yourself, why would anyone else?" (Heather Monahan, 55:10)

• On the myth of seamless success:
  “Things don’t always go seamlessly right? Things don’t just go super easy the way people think they might on social media.” (49:42)

• On imposter syndrome and showing up anyway:
  "Not going and shrinking back because of fear is not an option." (16:55)

• On being your own champion:
  “My number one supporter’s here. She’s always going to be here. It’s me.” (38:00)

• On pedestal dynamics:
  “Putting others on a pedestal simply puts us beneath them. Making the decision that we are all equal puts us on the same footing as everyone else.” (59:45)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:00 – Opening, adversity and reframing challenges
• 03:00 – Story from Vue Church and the power of forgiveness
• 06:45 – Reading from Jesus Calling and lessons on thankfulness
• 09:30 – Living in faith, not by sight
• 10:25 – The “scar” experiment and the self-imposed nature of suffering
• 13:45 – The supermodel story: facing intimidation and doing it anyway
• 21:45 – Listener Q&A: strategies for reclaiming your power and setting boundaries
• 33:01 – Beating negative self-talk; practical affirmations and practices
• 41:00 – Firing your villains, both external and internal
• 47:14 – On the unpredictability of timing and setbacks in publishing
• 53:00 – Book excerpt: coaching an NBA player, taking people off pedestals
• 59:45 – Ending reflections and encouragement

Tone and Style

Heather’s tone is candid, warm, encouraging, and direct—she exposes her own struggles and fears, laughs at herself, and never shies away from tough truths. The overall feel is motivational, relatable, and packed with actionable insights, blending storytelling with concrete self-improvement strategies.

Takeaways

• Adversity can be a sign you’re ready for a breakthrough—lean into the test.
• Perspective, gratitude, and faith are vital tools for navigating tough times.
• Fear and self-doubt are universal—even among high-achievers.
• Take back your power with intention, calm, and self-support.
• You teach others how to treat you by the way you treat yourself.
• The “villain” within is easier to defeat once you remove the negative influences around you.
• Everyone is fighting their own battle—never put others on a pedestal or yourself in a box.
• Stepping forward despite fear is non-negotiable for growth.

“Keep creating your confidence. Confidence—I’ll be right here with you.” —Heather Monahan