Podcast Title: Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan

Episode: Confidence Classic: How To Hold Yourself To A HIGHER Standard Of Excellence TODAY with Alan Stein Jr., Speaker, Author, & Organizational Performance Coach
Release Date: October 31, 2024

Introduction

In this compelling episode of Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan, host Heather sits down with renowned performance coach and author, Alan Stein Jr. Alan brings a wealth of experience from his 15+ years coaching elite NBA players, including legends like Kevin Durant, Stephen Curry, and Kobe Bryant, to the realms of business and personal development. Their conversation delves deep into the principles of high performance, the importance of self-awareness, and strategies to maintain excellence in both professional and personal lives.

Understanding High Performance Standards

Alan Stein Jr. opens the discussion by emphasizing the critical role of holding oneself to high standards. He draws parallels between elite athletes and business leaders, highlighting that excellence is not a result of luck but of deliberate effort and unwavering standards.

Alan Stein Jr. [00:14]: “Steph Curry will go down in history as the greatest shooter the game has ever seen. And I want folks to know that's not by accident and it's not by luck. It's because Steph is willing to hold himself to an unparalleled standard.”

Alan explains that the standards individuals set today shape who they become tomorrow. By maintaining high standards, individuals are more likely to achieve sustained success.

Key Principles of Sustained Excellence

Alan outlines the foundational principles that differentiate top performers from the average:

1. Respect for Fundamentals: Elite performers, whether on the court or in the boardroom, have a deep appreciation for the basics. They build their success on a solid foundation of fundamental skills and practices.

   Alan Stein Jr. [05:14]: “They have a very strong appreciation and respect for the fundamentals. They understand that the basics will create the foundation to which the rest of the house is built.”

2. Humility and Openness to Coaching: Maintaining humility allows individuals to remain receptive to feedback and continuous improvement.

   Alan Stein Jr. [05:14]: “While these guys have earned confidence through putting in work during the unseen hours, they all remain humble. This humility allows them to stay open to coaching and feedback.”

3. Continuous Growth: High performers are committed to ongoing development, always seeking ways to enhance their skills and performance.

Routines and Self-Awareness

The conversation transitions to the significance of routines and knowing oneself. Heather shares her approach to breaking routines to foster growth, contrasting it with Alan’s preference for structure.

Alan Stein Jr. [14:16]: “Everyone needs to find that rhythm. I’m constantly tweaking and trying new things. The most important part is figuring out what you need to do to be your best.”

Alan stresses that there is no one-size-fits-all routine. Instead, individuals should experiment to discover what best supports their personal and professional growth. He highlights Stephen Curry's meticulously planned pregame routine as an example of disciplined preparation that contributes to exceptional performance.

Building Confidence Through Self-Talk and Demonstrated Performance

A significant portion of the discussion centers on confidence, which Alan describes as stemming from two main sources:

1. Demonstrated Performance: Regular practice and consistent performance solidify one's belief in their abilities.

   Alan Stein Jr. [22:13]: “Confidence comes from demonstrated performance. When we do something, we show ourselves that we are competent.”

2. Positive Self-Talk: The way individuals speak to themselves can either bolster or undermine their confidence. Alan shares personal strategies for fostering a positive internal dialogue.

   Alan Stein Jr. [29:38]: “I work hard to talk to myself the same way I would talk to a friend. I’ve learned to let myself make mistakes and be kind to myself.”

Dealing with Challenges: Stress, Stagnation, and Burnout

Alan discusses his new book, Sustain Your Game, where he addresses the three main challenges hindering sustained performance:

1. Stress:

   • Hack for Stress: Accept and surrender to what you cannot control, focusing instead on your effort and attitude.

     Alan Stein Jr. [43:00]: “When you can realize that you don't have control over the external factors, you can focus on what you do have control over—your own effort and attitude.”

2. Stagnation:

   • Hack for Stagnation: Shake up your environment by diversifying the people you interact with and the content you consume.

     Alan Stein Jr. [44:37]: “Shake up the people you insulate yourself with and ensure they are filling your bucket. Also, diversify what you read, watch, and listen to.”

3. Burnout:

   • Hack for Burnout: Ensure there is alignment between the hours you work, the sacrifices you make, and the joy you derive from your work.

     Alan Stein Jr. [45:52]: “We have burnout when there is a misalignment between the hours you are working and the joy you get from your work.”

Heather and Alan share personal anecdotes illustrating these challenges and the importance of addressing underlying issues to maintain fulfillment and avoid burnout.

Personal Stories and Vulnerability

Throughout the episode, both Heather and Alan share personal stories that highlight the importance of vulnerability and self-compassion in leadership and personal growth. Heather recounts a moment with her son that underscored the power of positive reinforcement, while Alan shares his experiences with coaching NBA players and the lessons learned from their pursuit of excellence.

Heather Monahan [32:40]: “After my son ran into trouble, I realized how crucial it is to speak kindly to myself, especially when I'm disappointed in myself.”

Alan Stein Jr. [37:43]: “Giving ourselves grace is important. We are all fallible and making mistakes is part of the journey.”

These stories emphasize that acknowledging imperfections and learning from them are essential components of building lasting confidence and achieving sustained success.

Practical Strategies for Success

Alan provides actionable strategies for listeners to implement in their lives:

• Purposeful Practice: Engage in deliberate, focused practice to enhance skills and performance.

  Alan Stein Jr. [26:43]: “Purposeful practice during the unseen hours is a requirement for getting good at anything.”

• Accountability: Hold oneself accountable for consistent effort and improvement without self-judgment.

• Embracing Repetitions: View every opportunity as a chance to practice and refine one's abilities.

  Alan Stein Jr. [16:47]: “Every conversation is just another rep. We take these reps seriously to add value.”

Conclusion and Takeaways

The episode wraps up with Alan introducing his book, Sustain Your Game, which delves deeper into strategies for maintaining high performance while avoiding the pitfalls of stress, stagnation, and burnout. He encourages listeners to engage with their authentic selves, prioritize self-compassion, and continuously seek growth through intentional practice and positive self-talk.

Alan Stein Jr. [41:55]: “Sustain Your Game is about showing folks how they can stay on their mountaintop for long periods by managing stress, avoiding stagnation, and preventing burnout.”

Heather closes the episode by reinforcing the key messages of confidence-building, sustained excellence, and the importance of self-awareness and adaptability in achieving one’s goals.

Notable Quotes:

1. Alan Stein Jr. [00:14]: “Steph Curry will go down in history as the greatest shooter the game has ever seen. And I want folks to know that's not by accident and it's not by luck.”
2. Alan Stein Jr. [05:14]: “They have a very strong appreciation and respect for the fundamentals.”
3. Alan Stein Jr. [14:16]: “Everyone needs to find that rhythm. I’m constantly tweaking and trying new things.”
4. Alan Stein Jr. [22:13]: “Confidence comes from demonstrated performance.”
5. Alan Stein Jr. [29:38]: “I work hard to talk to myself the same way I would talk to a friend.”
6. Alan Stein Jr. [43:00]: “Focus on your effort and your attitude.”
7. Alan Stein Jr. [44:37]: “Shake up the people you insulate yourself with.”
8. Alan Stein Jr. [45:52]: “We have burnout when there is a misalignment between the hours you are working and the joy you get from your work.”
9. Alan Stein Jr. [26:43]: “Purposeful practice during the unseen hours is a requirement for getting good at anything.”
10. Alan Stein Jr. [41:55]: “Sustain Your Game is about showing folks how they can stay on their mountaintop for long periods.”

This episode of Creating Confidence offers invaluable insights into the mechanics of high performance and sustained excellence, making it a must-listen for anyone aspiring to elevate their personal and professional lives.