← Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Open Doors to MASSIVE OPPORTUNITIES and Radically Change Your Financial Future with Jason Tartick, Wall Street Journal Bestselling Author, Founder, and TV Personality
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- [00:00]
Heather Monahan
As a small business owner, you don't have the luxury of clocking out early. Your business is on your mind 24 7. So when you're hiring, you need a partner that grinds just as hard as you do. The hiring partner is LinkedIn Jobs. When you clock out, LinkedIn clocks in. LinkedIn makes it easy to post your job for free. Share it with your network and get qualified candidates that you can manage all in one place. I've had unbelievable success using LinkedIn Jobs.
- [00:24]
Jason Tardick
It works.
- [00:25]
Heather Monahan
Post your job. LinkedIn's new feature can help you write job descriptions and then quickly get your job in front of the right people with deep candidate insights. Either post your job for free or pay to promote promoted jobs. Get three times more qualified applicants. Get qualified candidates. At the end of the day, the most important thing to your small business is a quality of candidates. And with LinkedIn you can feel confident that you're getting the best. Based on LinkedIn data, 72% of SMBs using LinkedIn say that LinkedIn helps them find high quality candidates. Share with your network. You can let your network know you're hiring. You can even add a hashtag hiring frame to your profile picture and get two times more qualified candidates. Find out why more than 2.5 million doll million small businesses use LinkedIn for hiring today. Find your next great hire on LinkedIn. Post your job for free at LinkedIn.com confidence creator. That's LinkedIn.com confidence creator to post your job for free. Terms and conditions apply.
- [01:21]
Guest
No one really knows the truth, right? There's three sides to every story. One side, the other side and the truth. And you could over explain, over explain, over explain. And you still may never get the truth. And we see this in everything. We see it in business leaders, we see this in politics. We see it in everything. And so all you can do is just carry yourself with who you are character in class and be able to put your head to bed at night and the rest will sort itself out. That's what I've tried to tell myself.
- [01:50]
Jason Tardick
Come on this journey with me each week when you join me, you're going to chase down our goals, overcome adversity and set you up for a better tomorrow. Fasten your seatbelts.
- [02:01]
Guest
I'm ready for my close time.
- [02:02]
Jason Tardick
Hi and welcome back. I'm so excited for you to be back with us again this week. Okay, this week you guys are going to be hyped. I'm really excited. We have an amazing guest, Jason Tardick. Let me tell you a little bit about him. If you haven't heard about him, and if you haven't heard about him, you need to get on IG and start getting in the mix. All right? He's a Wall Street Journal bestselling author, renowned speaker, a finance expert, and you know, I need that in my life. Host of the hit podcast Trading Secrets and media powerhouse, Jason has quickly become the go to expert on business and financial affairs for a new generation and for anyone, frankly. This spring, Jason released his new book, Talk Money to Me. Oh, my gosh, I can't wait to get into your newest book and also to get back into your Restart roadmap, which I know everybody here is going to appreciate so much. He was on the Bachelorette. Like, who goes from corporate America having an MBA in accounting and finance and executing over 150 million lending transactions to boomerang into the Bachelorette to start his own company and become incredibly successful as a Wall Street Journal bestselling author. And just like me, he's with Harper Collins now. Guy is going to the next level. 15 million downloads and over a hundred episodes recorded so far on his podcast. He's killing it. One of Jason's biggest passions is encouraging financial transparency. That's new to me while educating others. His following is huge, by the way. And that's how I found him, was on Instagram. I want you to check him out on Instagram to get his books. Check out his podcast as he's teaching things that the world needs to learn about today. And I can't wait to hear how you started Rewired Talent Management. Jason, just thank you so much for being here. We're excited to hear all of your wisdom today.
- [03:38]
Guest
Let's go. Heather, thank you so much for that introduction. I feel fired up after that. And thank you for having me on what's so interesting.
- [03:45]
Jason Tardick
And I want to get into a lot of different things here because you can teach me. And selfishly, that's why I love my podcast, is I get to learn things that I need to know from my guests. But one of the things for everybody listening right now, we all know my story of getting fired from the C suite and reinvention. Your story is more on your own volition. However, you made a very, in my outsider opinion, risky decision to leave a very successful banking corporate America career to take a leap of faith. Can you talk to us a little bit about what that was like? Yeah.
- [04:16]
Guest
I mean, one negotiating tactic I've always learned in my life is you never want to put someone in a predicament with an ultimatum, right? When they feel like they're backed against the corner, they then will just decide. And you never know if the decision is going to be ultimately the path you want those people to go. Now, coincidentally enough, I was putting this ultimatum. So I'm in corporate banking. I got my MBA in accounting and finance. I'm working up the ladder, moving several times. I get this big offer to move from New York to Seattle. I'm 29 and I'm killing it. And then I get offered to go on the Bachelorette of all things. And I decide to go. And my employer was like, all right, burn through your vacation time. If there are any issues, there could be repercussions. Well, there weren't any issues. It went really well. And as a result of that, I went back to work. I worked my towel off, and work also was like, hey, wait a second, we got like the little 15 minute buzz here. We're going to kind of use this guy to go speak over here and do that. And I said, hey, you guys, let me go, so I'm going to do it for you. A year after I got off the show, working full time, doing everything, there was a podcast that happened. There was a story that was told about me, by the way, that story was just about an ex and I in a private, like, intimate moment, right? And so the reason I share that is because there's nothing wrong with the moment. It was just that it was shared. And my employer and I would even come out of my mouth and my employer was just like, that's it. Like you have an option. Like you're living this social media life out there where your private world's out there and you're also in this banking world. Make a decision. No more media, no more marketing, no more podcasts, no more branding, or restart yourself with this bank and you're done and you're in banking fair. Well, I was pinned against the wall and I said, I'm going to restart myself outside the bank. And so, ironically enough, one of the companies I started was called Restart Consulting, and my first book was called the Restart Roadmap. So that's a little bit about the predicament I was put in that was back in 2019. And here we are in 2024, still moving along strong.
- [06:14]
Jason Tardick
Okay, so I'm so curious about this, the idea to make a leap of faith and go on a reality TV show. Talk to us about, like, to make that decision and why. Listen, now that I see the success people have built out of their brands, I'm cursing myself for not having done that 20 years ago. So I get it now. But when you're actually in the moment, I mean, don't you have a lot of fears around, what if you look like a jackass on the show? What if they portray you badly? Is this stuff even real? Like, do you even get to choose? I mean, didn't you have those thoughts?
- [06:42]
Guest
So a couple of things, like, you look at 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24. This was seven years ago. So I also want to put this out there. The risk of making a move into social media and all that back seven years ago was a lot riskier than it is today. So it even, it accentuates your question. Like, what the hell were you thinking? Now, when I went on the show, the big thing I noticed is, and this gets into like a little bit of therapy work, but my whole entire life, one of the ways that I a survival tactic for me was being a champion for the world around me and making sure the people I love most felt secure. People I love the most, mom and dad. So, you know, I was captain of the sports team. I was always did the right thing. I never, ever got in trouble, ever. Truly. And I got promoted. I was a yes guy. I just did what I did. And at 29, when I was offered to go on the bachelorette, you know, everyone in my world, parents and family and mentors in charge. What the. What are you thinking? No, what are you talking about? And for me, it was the first time I was like, my gut was like, I want to go, I want to do this. And so it was one of the first times in a very long time that I made a decision for kind of filling my cup as opposed to everyone else's. And ironically enough, it was that small decision, that small crack that led to this little mini empire I have right now. So it was a high risk. But one thing I did when you talk about finance and just preparing is after the show, I didn't jump ship right away. I waited, I saw the edit, I saw the way people are perceiving it. I didn't jump ship. I got put in a predicament. It was about nine months or so of what I call my double dip earning year, where I had a really nice salary coming in with all these benefits, 401k match, all the stuff while making all this money on social media. And so when you get into the business and finance aspect of it, if people are listening to this and you're trying to make a change in your life, the Best way to do it is create some type of financial freedom where you know what your burn rate is. And burn rate is how much cash can you go through on a monthly basis until you would have to go back to what you're doing today. And when I left, when I made that decision, I knew that I had at minimum, at minimum, a year burden rate to do whatever I wanted. If no income came in and if that didn't work out, I could have always gone back to that road I was on.
- [08:51]
Jason Tardick
Okay, so for everyone listening, one of the things that was really important that Jason talked about was listening to his gut and instinct. And so often people want to override that and dial it down. That is not the answer. So I'm thrilled that for a long time you were saying yes to make other people happy, you decided to listen to yourself and act on it, and it completely changed your life for the better. So for the win, listen to your intuition. All right? You're talking about burn rate, and I love that. The fact that you had the opportunity to ride the corporate train for a bit longer while you were kind of testing the waters, that is without a doubt the best way to do it. But for a lot of people, they like this girl over here. You know, I was thrust out of it with a non compete, non solicit, you know, having to start over and not having the Bachelor behind myself or behind my brand. How does your book the restart roadmap walk people through some of the steps that they can take if a situation like that occurs?
- [09:43]
Guest
Well, I think now more than ever, like if you go Back to like 2010 to 2020, you almost needed to be on a show or you had to have something just like a little spark of luck to get your platform. If you look at 2024, anyone, any day, anytime can become viral and their life can change overnight. If you have something special, if you're electrifying, if you're educational, if you're engaging, if you're insightful, anything you do that makes you special and you put it out there, it can instantly change your life. We've seen it literally time and time again on the dumbest things in the world. Hawk to a girl being one of them. I mean, it's literally a Harvard based business case study. How a girl is on a street, she's drinking, she's drunk, she says something funny, and now she's making millions and millions of dollars, millions. And when you do a base case there, I think there's a little bit of a study to say people are craving authenticity, but they're also craving just like chill vibes. Like, we've gotten so serious with everything lately, and I'm a big proponent of therapy and all the work you're doing, Heather, and, you know, your physical work and your mental work and being the best and best. But we've gotten so serious with everything. It's like we gotta just chill a little bit. We gotta just like, everyone's gotta just enjoy life. I think we're seeing that in all capacities right now. One thing I think that's really important for people to do is sit with yourself for a week or two. And I want you to just write down in your notepad your notes on apple. Whatever it is, just write down the things you are naturally gravitating towards. Not what mom, dad, boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, children. Anyone, like, put it. What is your natural gut moving you towards? I don't care if it's reading a book, it's a TV show you're watching, it's something you're cooking, it's something you want to eat, a drink, you're dying to have anything and put it down. And after about two weeks, you're going to have this long list. And what you're going to notice is that you have natural passions that are gearing you towards those things. And whatever those things are, those can be a roadmap for you to start exploring. Exploring creating content with those things, exploring careers with those things. Because behind a TV show I like, because I really am just interested in it. There's a billion dollar industry right there. And I think so often we're in this world where there's so much noise that we lose focus and get in touch with ourselves to understand what we want. And if we don't know what we want, how the hell are we going to find the compass for it? And so that's where I would start. Pay attention to what you're naturally doing. And as a result of that, that can be a blueprint for you moving forward.
- [12:11]
Heather Monahan
Meet a different guest each week.
- [12:20]
Jason Tardick
I asked you to try to find your passion and I like the idea of writing it down. It's very similar to journaling, right? It's intentional journaling is basically what that is. And you can be real. You don't need to behave in a different way or make somebody else happy because it's only you. Hopefully that's reading this, unless you're my child. And yes, I have cracked into his journal occasionally. I feel like that's good parenting. It was all good. Thank goodness but you know, the thing is, like, you get real when you're alone with yourself. You don't need to impress anybody. And to Jason's point, when you're writing down, this is what I'm enjoying doing, how can I spend more time doing this? That's how you're really going to start figuring out what your true purpose and calling is. And when you find that out, then you're fired up and excited to go to work every day. And that is a huge seismic difference, which I know I'm sure you felt this way that back when you were in banking and finance doing similar things that you're doing today, but a very different vehicle and platform you're doing it on. You look super successful, Everyone thinks you're super happy, everyone thinks you're killing it. But now, looking at your life the way that you're leading it now, I would imagine you're so much happier now that you're really following your true calling. Is that the case?
- [13:27]
Guest
Yeah. I mean, I work my ass off. Like, truly, I work so hard. And part of my motivation to work so hard is the fact that I never want to go back to that. Like, I remember what that was like, the Sunday night scaries before work. I remember being in meetings, miserable. I remember all the brain power and creativity and all the things that make me. Me not being deployed, but me being put in a box to the expectations that I had to provide. And to me, I like. My skin crawls a little bit thinking about that. And those are the reasons why I bust my tail the way I do. And so what I would say is, for anyone that's listening to this, that's thinking about like career steps or what they want to do and how they want to do it. When you go through these experiences and you think about your job, like when I was in finance, write just simple T chart of like, what is it that you really enjoy? What is it that you don't enjoy? Interestingly enough, the subject matter I enjoyed. I actually liked meeting with business owners and learning about their business and providing solutions for them and talking money and understanding money. What I didn't like was bureaucracy. I didn't like being told I had to be somewhere in a certain seat for so long. I didn't like subjectivity. I didn't like someone saying, hey, you did A, B and C, but we'll decide what your success is. And so I think in life there's only so much we can control and choices are one of them. But even to our discussion earlier about intuition I think the biggest thing we all need to do is everyone needs to go deeper. Yes, you should follow your intuition. And I already said it, but you got to go deeper to understand why is your intuition saying what it's saying? How are you connecting your head, heart and your gut and then deciding what the right decision is? Those are things that I think we truly need to step into, need to understand. And so many people in life, like your average age right now, right, Your average life expectancy is around 78 to 82. That's a good life. We only have so many ticking moments here and it's gone. And it's like, why are we just coasting through checking boxes for everyone else but ourselves? And so that's the biggest piece of advice I'd give people is start to work backwards a little bit. Think about top down. What is 78 year old Jason going to say to myself? You know, I wrote myself a letter when I was going through a tough time about a year ago. And when I wrote that letter, I wrote it to myself. I wrote it as an 80 year old to myself today and I sent it to myself, I put it in the mail. I don't think I've ever told anyone that. And I still keep it today when I get lost, I open it up and read what would 80 year old Jason want today to think? And so that's a practice too. I'd give everyone and tell people to think about.
- [16:06]
Jason Tardick
Okay, so I want to understand this. So you're going through a tough time in your current moment, which I'm sure many people are right and anyone can relate to that. You step into this future version of yourself being 80 years old, having that wisdom and you reflect back, you're advising the current you on how you should handle the hard time.
- [16:24]
Guest
Yeah, well, what I'm saying is I'm putting myself, I'm taking my soul and taking it out of my body and I'm putting it into 80 year old Jason. And I'm thinking about 80 year old Jason. He's bald and he's wrinkly and he's old and he's got arthritis. And I'm writing a letter to what he would say to 35 year old Jason. And it takes a moment to step out, no distractions. And I think about what would that 80 year old Jason say to him? And then I wrote it and then I shipped it and I waited for it to come in the mail and I came back and well, I actually had a friend send it to me and they didn't read it, it was locked. And then I waited and I read it and I still read it when I'm in moments of being disheveled. And a lot of the things that are in there, you know, some of them are very private, but some of them are like, stop giving a shit what everyone thinks. Stop living for everyone else. You have such good character, you care with your heart what people think and what noise is means shit. Just continue to be the best version of you and leave an imprint on all like the beauty you believe in yourself. And those are some of the themes.
- [17:36]
Jason Tardick
I love that. The other thing that pops into my mind is the things you're worrying about today are not going to matter. They're not even going to matter now. It's crazy. But you know that. And thank you for giving us this practice because immediately I thought to myself of 80 year olds, and they're the best example I can use as a woman, you know, at my age, is that an 8 year old would look at me and like, stop beating yourself up for how you look. Start appreciating it. Because when they look back at pictures of themselves 30, 40 years ago, they're like, I was killed. I was like, I'm so impressed with myself. But it's smart to future cast yourself so that you can reflect back and say, I don't need to beat myself up. I don't need to be so concerned with everybody else is saying, and to that point, the best weight anyone's ever going to lose is the weight of other people's opinion of you. And that is total freedom when you start owning that and rocking it like an 80 year old. So thank you for that exercise. I think that's super powerful.
- [18:28]
Guest
Yeah. I think something else too that I just read lately that connects to this is, it's a speech by Jim Carrey and he talks about how, you know, like how many thoughts we have in a day, right? We have like millions and millions of thoughts, just quick little things. And these thoughts dictate so many things in our life. They dictate fears and concern and anxiety. They choose our direction, how we look, how we act, how we feel, how we talk, how we communicate, how we protect. And he's like, these thoughts though, if you think about it, what is a thought? And you go, it's a little bit of a philosophical deep dive. But what is a thought? Like, what actually is it? And he took like a cup of coffee and he's like, this cup of coffee has more reality than any thought in my head. It's real. I could touch it, I could taste it. These thoughts aren't real. They're these fallacies we build. And the people that I love and the people I think about and the thoughts I'm having that they don't know, these thoughts, they're all just these made up things in our head. And when you take a step outside and just be like, it doesn't matter, it's not real yet. Just be you and do you. It puts in perspective that we can allow thoughts that have no existence, that a cup of coffee has more reality than the 999,000 thoughts we have in a day. But it's those thoughts that are shaping our decisions and behaviors. And we need to put that in perspective.
- [19:47]
Jason Tardick
Oh, it's so good. It is so serendipitous that you're bringing up Jim Carrey. It's so random. Last week I was at an event in LA and one of the exercises that they asked everybody to do is to write themselves a check from your future self, whatever it is. And I immediately said, Jim Carrey did this. He wrote himself a check for $10 million. When he got to LA wanting to be a successful actor, he was not at the time he foresaw this whole vision and future for himself, but to actually make it concrete and real, he wrote this check out to himself and they were asking us to do that exercise, which I thought was completely bizarre but very interesting because clearly it worked for him.
- [20:24]
Guest
I love it. I think he's a genius. Him and Denzel Washington. Like I could listen to him all day, both of them. I'm curious though, especially my podcast, Trading Secrets. All we talk about is financial transparency. How much did you write your check for?
- [20:36]
Jason Tardick
100 million. And I'll tell you why.
- [20:38]
Guest
Jesus.
- [20:39]
Jason Tardick
I would not have done that. I want to explain why because, and I'm so interested in getting to the finance some of the tactics and strategies that you have for this reason. I grew up very poor, so I came from scarcity mindset and my whole strategy in business and life was just outwork everybody. And we all know, listen, it works, right? Because majority of people don't work hard. So you're going to be an all star and do well in business if you really, really commit to it. I did, but I gave up so much in my personal life and, you know, things I wanted to be doing as a result of that. However, when I got to this conference and I've done well for myself and reinvented myself successfully, blah, blah, blah, it's great. Okay, I Get to this conference. I have a new business partner. She's just sold her last company for 700 million. I'm in a room. The next woman walks in, she just sold her company for 400 million, right? So I'm in a room of people who are light years ahead me financially versus where I am, by the way, at 50 years old, there's many things to consider. Like, I don't just say money is the only thing. Having a good relationship with your kids is like, there's so many other important things, right? So anyhow, financially, these women were light years ahead of me. And during one of the breaks, my partner, who I'm close to and I adore and admire, came to me and said, listen, you need to start thinking bigger with these numbers. I'm noticing your numbers you're utilizing thus far in conversations was 20 people. You're giving the smallest numbers out of everybody. I hadn't noticed it. And I said, oh, my gosh. That's like an epiphany moment. She's like, you need to go bigger. My whole life going bigger for everything. But once she turn that on inside of me, I started thinking, if I'm in a room with people who sold a company for 700 million, 400 million, why not me? Like, I'm already in the room. I'm in the sphere. I can. So the funny thing is, Jason, I wrote 100 billion. The woman sitting next to me said, can I peek at your check? I said, yeah, yeah. I'm like an open book. Sure. She said, oh, my gosh. I did 100 million, too. Danielle Canty, another friend of mine, she co founded Boss Babe just sold that company, did very, very well. She's like, let me see how much you did. I'm like, give me yours. Hers was for 300 million, and she's younger than me. And so it's like, it's so important to get around people who think bigger, who think bolder, and have done some different things than you. It opens your mind to what's possible for you. And so now I think I should have written that check for 500 million. But it's. Until you start seeing, like, what other people are grasping as, yeah, this is real. This can be real for you too. It makes a huge difference.
- [22:59]
Guest
Huge. Yeah. I mean, it's funny because, like, the number in my head, I was thinking, if he said 10 million, my head would be like, okay, yeah, you're right. I like 10 million. I'm gonna put the 10 million there. And it's so wild. How just the most subtle subconscious thoughts and angles can actually dictate what level will dream at. And then that level is then what we do to achieve. Because if you think about, like I think about getting to that, you know, a goal in mind financially, very open with financial discussions. That's what I do on my podcast. So if anyone hears this and they're like, why is he talking about that stuff? Because I think we need to break into that stuff. I think the world is set up for us to say that it's unethical or it's against etiquette to talk about these things. But I think the reason they tell us that is so that we have lack of information. Therefore people at the top can actually make more money. The more we actually talk about this, the more comfort we have with money, the better decisions we can make and the less we can shame people and feel bad about it, which is the current world we live in. So like my goal is to get to $10 million in workable assets. So like around $10 million, essentially liquidity. Because at that rate, I know that given how much I would want to spend in a year, I can then quote unquote, retire. And what does retire mean to me? It doesn't mean stop working. Retire means to me I can truly, truly do whatever the hell I want to dictate for work. You know what I want to achieve? Is it a non for profit? Is it X, Y and Z? So like that's my goal. But if you think about 10 million and 300 million and anyone listening to this that might have thought instantly a hundred thousand, the behaviors and things that you would have to do to achieve those are so drastic. From the day to day work to the technical work to even the industry that you would pursue. And it's funny, that goes back to our conversation. It's our thinking that will dictate our actions and our life is just based on actions and choices. That's it.
- [24:41]
Heather Monahan
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- [27:20]
Jason Tardick
It's so true. So just go bigger. Make that number go bigger. All right, let's get to I had read a lot about your background and I thought it was interesting that you had this finance background because your personality, to me I think your personality is more like mine, like just an outgo going extrovert. So I think similarly people will be in sales or in leadership or you know, whatnot. But to see that you started in finance. Can you talk a little bit about what your father imparted on you when you were younger that got you on this path to begin with?
- [27:49]
Guest
Yeah. So I think both of my parents did a really good job at just explaining to me what the value of money is. Right. Having a healthy relationship with money, that was first. But it was actually my grandfather who broke through for me. My grandfather was an oral surgeon. He went to Penn. A very bright guy. So, you know, you think about someone like that, he's an outlier with his brain power. And I only say that because that same man who's an outlier with his brain power, who could do oral surgery work and make a good living, he is the same man that got absolutely crushed by a financial advisor who was unethical and took him for over half of his wealth. You can be really good at one thing. You can be really smart with books, but if you don't have an idea of all the things in life that are just at one important enough to know to even hire the right people, it can be a detriment. And at 16 years old, I'll never forget it. He walked me up his steps. He had two screens. He popped open his investment account, and he said, if there's one thing I will make sure that you learn for the rest of your life is that you understand numbers. You understand your numbers enough so that if you work with someone, you know how to hire them. It's kind of like a Somalier. You don't have to be a Somalia to pick a good bottle of wine, but if you have a Somalia at a restaurant ordering for you, you got to know enough to make sure that you're not getting taken advantage of. And so he showed me at 16, I his whole portfolio. Every dollar he had, every dollar. It was my step grandmother at the time that she had. He talked to me about what will happen when he dies. This will go to your mom, this will go to your aunt. This will go to your step grandma. And it was that transparency that made me. It just all clicked. I was like, I'm not going to be afraid of numbers. I'm going to step into them. And so from that day on, I just always had an infatuation with numbers, the transparency behind them and what we can learn from them.
- [29:26]
Jason Tardick
Wow. So now you've dedicated so much of what you do, especially on the podcast, from your newest book into finances and advising people on financing. What are you finding as you dig more into this discovery of where people are with finances and financial conversations.
- [29:43]
Guest
Oh, my gosh. Well, I mean, the biggest discovery, especially when you think about love and money, is that the conversations aren't being had. And when people try to step into the conversations, they are getting terrible responses. And as a result of that, we inherently, as animals, are saying we're not going to have conversations, because when we step into them, it hurts. But the reality is, the proof is always in the numbers. 50% of relationships married or cohabitating don't feel comfortable talking about Money. Of the 50% that do feel comfortable talking about them, 75% of them say it leads to material tension. So you have 50% of people that won't talk about it. You take the group that does, 75% of them saying it's leading to tension. Now we talk about the love aspect. That group, that small group that feels like they can talk about money, and it leads attention. Over half of them when surveyed said that it had led to massively decreased intimacy. And money reasons are the number two reason behind divorce. So the thing is, is that we continue to skirt, we continue to avoid the conversation, we continue to step around it. But at some point, you're stepping into it. And if you're cohabitating or you're married, you've officially stepped into it. And we talk about postnums and prenups a lot. And at the end of the day, everyone out there has a prenup. It's your laws. The idea is, do you want to protect yourself by customizing those state laws, or do you want to keep those based on what was established years and years ago? And so my biggest takeaway with all of it is that we need to get comfortable with talking about, you know, what we make, what we spend, what our net worth is, where we have credit, where we want to spend, where we can pull back in our priorities. Because it's all about compromise. It's all about compromise. The things you would like to spend on Heather are things I might think are the dumbest thing in the world. And the things I might like to spend on you might think are a joke. But when you have these conversations, you could say in the middle, like, hey, I understand is your friend that makes you happy, so I'm not going to shame or weaponize it and vice versa. And I think that's what we need to do. Have got conversations. And then when someone gives you their vulnerability, don't you dare. Don't you dare use that vulnerability as a weapon or a tool to shame them, because it's so hard to open up in the first place.
- [31:53]
Jason Tardick
Okay, I love that you brought up prenups because it's such an interesting conversation and to give a little. Actually, I, I haven't talked about this on this show before, but I'm married and divorced and I had done very, very well financially as an equity partner in my 20s, so I had quite a bit of money. When I got married, everyone that worked with me came to me and my ex husband at the time was not successful. He's very successful now. Was not at the time. And so everyone came to me that I worked with and said, you know, you need to get a prenup in place. And of course they were looking out for my best interest. However, I was, was 30 years old at the time. Something interesting happens to 30 year old women. You want to have a baby so bad, I can't even like put into words for it. And maybe it doesn't happen to everybody, but it happens to a lot of women. Right. My brain was so set on, oh my gosh, I want to fall in love for love. I want to get married for love. I'm not a money grubber. Like, this is crazy. I thought it was very negative and I thought, you don't believe in true love and like this I'm looking to be a wife and a mother and yeah, I'm good in business, but that's just part of who I am and I can always make more money and we're not going to get divorced. That's how I went headstrong into it. I had the conversation with him which right away he was like, what's interesting is he was in finance and he right away was like, I don't know why you would want to get a prenup. You know, that's kind of crazy. So I backed right off. I did not get a prenup. We ended up divorced. I ended up losing everything in the divorce. It was my. No, it was my decision. And anyway, it doesn't matter because I remember saying, I remember having this like, inner conversation. I had already spent $100,000 on my attorney. It had already been a year fighting back and forth. And I remember thinking, I've lost a year of my life. Literally. It was just negativity, negative energy. And I, I don't like negativity. And I thought, you know what, if I can lose this money and be free of this negativity, I can go put that energy towards making more money. I'll be fine. That's how I move forward. However, if I could look back and do it all over again, I just would have got the prenup in place. So how do you advise people who think like this Disney way about life, which is. That's how I was thinking, no, it's going to be a beautiful marriage. How do you get them to think, yeah, it could still be a beautiful marriage, and it's not a negative to have a prenup as well.
- [33:58]
Guest
Prenups are not at all based on romance. There's no connection to romance and a prenup. When you get married, you're doing a bunch of things. And based on your religion and your beliefs and your character, you're committing to a lot of things. But legally, you're committing to a partnership. And it's also a binding partnership that ties you in as life partners, but also business partners to a certain extent. And so the conversation, first of all needs to start with think about anything in life. We know that historically has shown us evidence of things we need to be aware of. A very, very simple example. I don't like to judge anybody, but let's call vaping, we know from the biggest and best doctors in the entire planet, one of the few things in this world we can all agree on on Vaping is unhealthy for many reasons. We know it. Are people still going to do it? Yeah. We know that the likelihood of it working out in your favor is not good. Unfortunately, what we've learned with divorces is that they happen, and they happen around 50% of the time. And we also learned that if you've already been married and you're going into your second marriage, your likeliness of another divorce, it's about 65%. And then if you get married again, it's around 75%. And the likelihood of you remarrying the first person you get divorced with is 6%. So why ignore studies that we have? And what I'll tell you about prenups is that the biggest thing you want to think about is if a member has a significant set of, let's say, assets or children from a previous marriage or large real estate or ownership in a company, or you expect to sell a company, you are going to want to start thinking about prenups. But also if you're married to someone like that, you too want to think about prenups because you want to make sure that you have an understanding going into marriage that the life you currently live will still be somewhat similar even if it doesn't work out. It's not a one way street. With prenups, it's for both people to be in a better position. So there's not gray area entering your relationship, wondering what if and then terrible toxicity keeping you in that relationship because you don't have answers. So step into it. History tells us we need to step into it. Also, let's quickly just talk about the idea that there is something called a postnup, right? So I don't know if you've addressed that on the show, but a postnup is something that maybe you ran out of time to sign a prenup. Maybe you're listening to this and you don't have one. There's all this craziness about planning a wedding and doing all these things like it's a tough thing to even think about. But we know that divorce happens. So if something has happened in your life where more money is coming in or let's say your parents are well off and you're going to get get some of their inheritance or you just want to get on top of it today, you can create a postnum after you're married and that's another way to protect both parties, especially the person that's at home taking care of the family that is sacrificing their earnings in their job so that if the relationship doesn't work out, they're not starting at entry level 101 like they graduated college. They have some type of value for what they brought to the relationship and staying at home and taking care of the family is the master value.
- [37:10]
Heather Monahan
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- [39:11]
Jason Tardick
This is what I use.
- [39:12]
Heather Monahan
I mean it is unbelievable. It's so incredibly easy. Shopify makes selling simple and Shopify Shopify helps you raise your revenues. Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at shopify.commonahan all lowercase go to shopify.commonahan to upgrade your selling today. Shopify.commonahan what does the future hold for business? Ask nine experts and you'll get 10 answers. Bull market. Bear market rates will rise or fall. Inflation's up or down. Can someone please invent a crystal ball? Until then, over 41,000 businesses have future proofed their business with NetSuite by Oracle, the number one Cloud ERP bringing accounting, financial management, inventory, HR into one fluid platform with one unified business management suite. There's one source of truth giving you the visibility and control you need to make quick decisions. The real time insights and forecasting. You're peering into the future with actionable data. When you're closing the books and days, not weeks, you're spending less time looking backwards and more time on what's next. I use this and you should too. Whether your company is earning millions or even hundreds of millions, NetSuite helps you respond to immediate challenges and seize your biggest opportunities. Speaking of opportunity, download the CFO's Guide to AI and Machine Learning at netsuite.com monahan all caps. The guide is free to you at netsuite.com monahoN that's netsuite.com monahan oh, I love that.
- [40:44]
Jason Tardick
And I know so many of my listeners are going to love that you said that, so thank you, Jason. All right, so let's talk a little Bit about relationships. One of the things that's interesting, I'm currently single and I'll tell you, one of the things that I find challenging is because I have a decent social media following. It intimidates a lot of people. You, on the other hand, have had two or. And are currently in a very high profile relationship. And your last relationship was very high profile profile. How that affected your ability and. Or do you now think, like, these are bad ideas that you get involved with people that are in high profile? Like, how does that affect you at.
- [41:18]
Guest
The end of the day? The reason I even have any form platform is because I went on a dating show. I opened my life about dating. I introduced my family through abc and I talked about, like, it's crazy with that show. Good job, Good get out of you. I mean, I talked about my grandmother's Alzheimer's and how I'll just never forget the moment that I was with my dad and she couldn't remember my dad's name and the pain in his eyes, but the fact that, like, he could still sit there with a smile, knowing her best interest was at stake if he held strong. And like, these are deep moments that have, like, impacted everything about me. And it's those moments that have led to this platform which I've been able to pivot in a lot of ways. And I think there's a couple takeaways from that 1. Vulnerability is the root of all connection, right? Like, the deeper you can go, the more you can connect with people. I've also learned through, you know, that was of course, on the Bachelorette. Obviously that relationship didn't work out. I had another relationship that didn't work out, and now I'm in a new relationship, right? So since bringing that part of my life to the public eye, I've also learned a lot about this space of where things can be really good about doing that, where things could be really bad. Some of the negativity, some of the positivity. And it's a learning process. And like everything, it's a continued learning process. And so what I have learned in, let's just call it the last year is that the importance of boundaries and privacy to a certain extent is so much greater than your ego or trying to get a point across, you know, And I think that goes for people in a public spotlight, private satellite. I think that goes for people in business. I think that goes for people in relationships at any level is that that sometimes we let our ego lead and our ego wants to do a lot of things and There are other times that it's like not everything has to be explained right. Children explain, adults inform. And so I think with maturity, with time, with learning comes growing. And with all this public stuff, I'm going to make mistakes. I'm never going to be perfect. My goal is though, to be better today than I was yesterday. And I think that's all you can do.
- [43:30]
Heather Monahan
Meet a different guest each week.
- [43:34]
Jason Tardick
Cleaver, I asked you to try to find your passion. I love that. All right, tell me about how you handle haters. Because I am sure through these high profile breakups, especially with the TV show Associated, people have their fan favorite. I guarantee you're getting hatred because I get hatred. And I've never been on a show like that from people. How do you respond? Or do you choose not to?
- [43:59]
Guest
You know, I asked this question I'll never forget I asked Nick Fyle. He's, he's one of the most successful people that have come from the Bachelor franchise. And he, ironically enough, has had so much success. One of the best podcasts truly in the country right now, performance wise. And I asked him, he gets a lot of hate. He gets a lot of hate, but he's very successful. And he said it really well to me. It was something I'll never forget. And after that I always ask people in their industry and there's more lessons I've learned. But what he said was he's a big Green Bay packers fan and every day there's a commentator on Monday that will come in after the packers game and he will rip them apart. He hates the packers, he cannot stand them. And Nick said, I'm a fan of the packers and I hate this guy. But every Monday I'm the first person that listens to his show. And he said, it doesn't matter if people like you or love you, it matters that they want to hear from you. And I started to explore this and I learned a little bit of barstool stool. Barstool has a rule. We don't care what people say in the comments. They better be just commenting. And then I looked even further into a business that's been a long around a lot longer than both of those. It's a multi, multi, multi, multi billion dollar business. Wrestling, wwf, wcw, wwe, Hulk Hogan to wherever we are today. And in that sport, what determines your success is how loud the crowd can be. So they have the fan favorites and they have what's called the heels. And there could be a show in which the heel goes out there and he's getting Beer thrown at him. Everyone's flicking them off and they're screaming at him. And when they sit at their production table, if he got the loudest noise that night, he won the night. And so sometimes it's interesting. It doesn't matter if you're the fan favorite or if you're loved or hated or whatever season you're in. Sometimes it just in this crazy space and you hear about these businesses, it's that, that people are tuning in. And I know that's like blunt and that's harsh and it is what it is, but it's also just the reality of this. So what I've told myself when I deal with haters is one, noise is okay, it's not necessarily a bad thing. And two, the other big thing I've told myself, and this came from my therapist, no one really knows the truth, right? There's three sides to every story. One side, the other side and the truth. Truth. And you could over explain, over explain, over explain, and you still may never get the truth. And we see this in everything. We see it in business leaders, we see this in politics, we see it in everything. And so all you can do is just carry yourself with who you are, character and class, and be able to put your head to bed at night and the rest will sort itself out. That's what I've tried to tell myself.
- [46:45]
Jason Tardick
I love that. That's a lot of wisdom, my friend. I absolutely love that. I couldn't agree with you more. Talk to us a little bit about the eight essential financial question to discuss with your partner, your new book.
- [46:56]
Guest
New book. So it's called Talk Money to Me. The idea behind Talk Money to Me was I used to be an underwriter, so I would be the one at the bank that would say, you get the loan or you don't get the loan. And I said to myself, why don't we take these things that we look at at the bank to decide if people get money and have them start talking about it. So basic things to think about, you know, what do you earn? Understanding your cash inflow after taxes, what do you spend monthly and annually? What is your current debt status? That's a big one. Is your credit score, what is your net worth? A big thing with mortgage lending, they want to know your debt to income ratio. So understanding that, when do you want to retire, what your risk appetite is. And so some of these numbers, I show you exactly how to find them, exactly what they mean, how to track them, how to have conversations about them. And the biggest thing is compromise because none of us have the same financial situation. None of us have the same appetite, none of us have the same income. And the end of the day, we have to find resolve with the people that we love to come up with solutions as opposed to running from them. But literally, some of these exercises will take five minutes, and it'll change your entire life. On the way you think about money, and I would say if any of those is the most important, I think net worth is your most important, because net worth, we all have one. We always think net worth. LeBron James, you know, a billion dollars, Taylor Swift, billion dollars. We all have a net worth. And net worth changes every second. If I go buy a cup of coffee, my net worth changes. It's your inflows minus your outflows and your assets and the value those. And so it's the one number that gives you a true indication of what your current value is today.
- [48:31]
Jason Tardick
And who did you write that book for?
- [48:33]
Guest
I wrote that book for Grandpa Lenny. He's the one that taught me everything. That's who I made it to. But I wrote the book in general for what I'm seeing in a lot of relationships, what I've experienced, and what we're just seeing in our society, which is a lack of financial transparency that is ultimately leading to a lot of sadness and loneliness because we're not having the conversations.
- [48:53]
Jason Tardick
I love how you are bringing this unique discussion forward, all about finances, being transparent and doing it with class and grace. Thank you so much for the work that you're doing. Tell everybody. What's the name of the podcast? Where do they get the books? And how do people find more about you?
- [49:08]
Guest
Yeah. So the podcast is called Trading Secrets. We'll have to have you on Heather, but we're talking all things from unscripted reality stars to comedians, athletes, actors, industry experts, you name it. We are getting all the secrets behind their industry. What it costs to be in the industry, how much they're getting paid for that billboard, how much money they lost on that big investment. That's what we talk about. So I always joked around, I say sex stories. To call her daddy back in the day. Is transparency of what actually money is in the numbers. On Trading Secrets. The first book I wrote is the restart roadmap, Rewire and reset your career. Get it on Amazon. And then the second one was called Talk Money to me, which is all about that intersection of love and money money. I also have a talent agency. It's fun to not only be a creator, but manage creators. I'VE had that since 2020. It's called Rewired talent management. And on social media, it's just Jason underscore tartick, T A R T I C K or on YouTube, TikTok, you know, Twitter threads, Instagram, all the stuff.
- [50:05]
Jason Tardick
Oh, my gosh, you're everywhere. Thank you so much for opening this conversation for all of our listeners today and for the work you keep doing. Keep doing you and drop the weight of everybody else's opinion. And we're all for you, Jason. Thanks for the work that you're doing.
- [50:19]
Guest
Thank you so much for having me, Heather.
- [50:20]
Jason Tardick
All right, guys, until next week. Keep creating your confidence. You know I will be. I decided to change that dynamic. I couldn't be more excited for what you're gonna hear.
- [50:33]
Heather Monahan
Start learning and growing.
- [50:34]
Jason Tardick
Inevitably something will happen.
- [50:37]
Heather Monahan
No one succeeds alone.
- [50:39]
Guest
You don't stop and look around once in a while. You could miss it.
- [50:43]
Jason Tardick
Come on this journey with me.