← Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: RECLAIM Your Power and Silence the Haters with Heather!
00:44:17
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Come on this journey with me each week. When you join me, we are going to chase down our goals, overcome adversity, and set you up for a better tomorrow. I'm ready for my close up. Hi, and welcome back. I'm so glad you are here. Okay. This is going to be a little different. You know, I'm always trying to innovate and do something different. I need your feedback, as always. Let me know what you think. Okay. If you've been listening to the show for a while, you know that I auditioned. First of all, HarperCollins leadership made me audition to be Heather Monahan. Isn't that weird? I think it's weird. I feel that the author of a book should have to do the audible version. Right? You wrote it. Why can't you read it? Well, super interesting. I guess that's not the case when you go the traditional publisher route, you have to audition to be yourself. So bizarre. Okay, so backstory is, I got really nervous right before and I text Kendra hall, who. She did the audible version of her book, Stories that Stick. I've had her on the show. She's amazing. And I said, what advice can you give me? I don't know what to do. They didn't give me any advice. And she said, just be yourself and don't go too fast. Right. So greatest advice ever. And I love that she gave that to me and that she helped me out when I needed it. And. And she was right. Just be you. So once I read that, I said, forget it. I'm just clicking record and I'm going to just read. And so I just read a couple of chapters. I uploaded it, and a couple days later I heard back. I got to be. I'm Heather Monahan. Okay, super exciting. But then be careful what you work so hard for, because then you might get it. And now I had to record the audible version, which I actually don't mind doing. It's not very different than recording a podcast, Right? You're talking into a mic and it. It is weird reading your own book because you worked so hard over such a long period of time to create it, and now you're just going through it. It's. It's sort of a surreal experience. But I'm super grateful I was given the opportunity. And I think. I don't want to say, I think I know you're gonna love it. I believe it came out so good. And here's why. They allowed me, instead of going to the cookie cutter place, recording studio place that I didn't want to Go to. They let me record with one of my old producers from the radio business who I've known for years and who did my first audiobook for Confidence Creator with me. And so I feel safe with him. I trust him. He cares so much. He's just. He's a great person. Shout out to Scotty and if you're listening, I'm so grateful for you. And it was just an amazing experience. I'm so grateful it came together the way it did. Okay. And I kept asking my point of contact@HarperCollins, hey, can I have some creative flexibility with the audiobook? I really liked how David Goggins did his. And, you know, at the end of each chapter, he gives behind the scenes and he takes it into real time, not just what the actual hard copy book is like. Right. It's different. There's more to it. And she said yes. So I just can't wait for you to hear it. I'm so proud of it. I can't wait to hear it. I'm super excited. I don't even know when I get to hear it. That's what's so weird about doing a book with a traditional publisher. You don't find out all that much information until after the fact. Okay, so here's what I'm going to do today. I'm going to read the first couple of chapters for you to to one, give you a little insight and peek into Overcome youe Villains. If you haven't pre ordered it yet, get it now because you can still get the $500 bonus bundle for free when you get it. Go to overcomeyourvillains.com right now. Okay, so I'm gonna read you the first couple chapters. However, when I did the audiobook version, at the end of every chapter, I just riffed and I would just talk about what I thought about that chapter, what was behind the scenes when I wrote that chapter, or what I meant. I don't even really know what I said, but just kind of whatever came to me, you know, I just spoke my mind. I'm super excited to hear that part too. Okay, so here we go. We are going to. This is now. I'm completely done with the audiobook, by the way. It's finally finished. Super grateful it's done. And this is the first time I'm reading my book since I did the audible version. Okay. So weird that I'm even an author, but much less so weird. This is my second book. The whole thing's weird. Okay, Just know this. Anything is possible. That's what I want you to know. Right? Because I can't believe not only did I write one book, but now I wrote two. And not only did I write them, I've done the audible versions and they're good. They're really good. And I'm super proud. So anything's possible for me. Anything is possible for you. Okay, here we go. Overcome your villains Chapter one A New Me I Got fired. Three words I never imagined I would say. Three words I was too embarrassed to say to my family and friends. Three words that changed my life forever in ways I had no way of predicting. Some people describe being fired as a humbling experience. That's not how I would describe it. Maddening. Shocking. Psychotic. Those are all words that instantly come to mind when I look back on that awful moment. And what made it all that and more was how it all went down. It might be a little easier to understand if I give you some backstory. First, I grew up poor. My childhood was not one I like to sit around and reminisce about. In some ways, this has been a blessing because I learned to be driven like no other. But in other ways, this has been a holdback for me for much of my life. I was driven to chase a paycheck more than anything. All I knew was I didn't want to be poor. I didn't want to struggle. I didn't want the kids I dreamed I would have someday to grow up in a trailer like I did. That feeling of standing in the grocery checkout line and realizing you would have to put back half of the items on the belt because you didn't have enough money paying me. Oddly, some people would have no problem with that. For some reason, however, when it happened to me, it ripped my heart out. The shame I felt thinking others were looking down on me, realizing I couldn't buy what I wanted and had to operate differently was long lasting. Once you feel like that, there's a really good chance you will do anything in your power to never feel that way again. And that's exactly how I responded. Working my way up I started delivering newspapers at 10 years old, then bussing tables at a diner, then working the front counter and drive through windows window at a fast food restaurant, then waiting tables and eventually bartending my way through college. My dream was to graduate and join a sales team. To be completely honest, I didn't just dream of joining a sales team. I desperately wanted to join a sales team. Not because I felt a passion or excitement to work for a business, but because I quickly Learned that the owners of the nicest cars in the parking lot where I slung drinks were always salespeople. They were the ones who left the biggest tips. They were the ones who had the nicest houses. They were the ones who had enough money to buy the most expensive suits, dresses and shoes. And they never had to put their groceries back. I joined a top winery sales team as soon as I graduated and I flat out worked everyone, even the old timers. It didn't take long before I became the top salesperson and I was promoted to brand manager. It also didn't take long after getting promoted that my new boss started sexually harassing me. I was too afraid to take on the company, too afraid to fight for what I knew was right. So I quit. I aggressively put myself out there looking for another sales job while bartending on the side at a networking event a couple of weeks later, I met a man who stood out from the rest of the crowd and I decided to chat him up. He told me I should go to work for him and I told him he wouldn't be able to afford me. When he asked me how much I expected to be paid, I told him $75,000, never imagining he would pay anyone he just met at a networking event. That kind of salary you start in the morning, he told me. I was of course excited by this stroke of good fortune. I walked into the event a part time bartender and walked out newly employed with a 75k salary. What I didn't realize at the time was that I had left a lot of money on the table. I had undersold myself. This was something I would do again many times in my career. When you don't see your own worth, others won't see it either. People pay you what you believe you are worth. I later learned that this man was worth millions of dollars and he saw potential in me. I quickly became his top seller and he grew me to become his partner. In my early 20s, I moved myself across the country to take his $25 million property and turn it into a $55 million property. In just under three years, I finally had some money. I had established a reputation for generating revenue like few others in the industry. Still, I wasn't satisfied. Growing up poor had lit a fire in me that grew and grew until it consumed me. I needed more revenue, more room for growth, a higher ladder to climb, a bigger salary, more commission. I took my cash and my reputation and moved to Florida to go to work for a publicly traded radio company. It was a bigger company than the One that I had been working at with more revenue and far more upside. I pitched myself for a job that didn't exist and was awarded VP of Sales based on my performance. I was quickly promoted two more times and ultimately named Chief Revenue Officer. I was one of only two women on the executive team, and I was as proud as I could be. I had finally arrived. There was just one problem. The other woman on the executive team seemed to despise me, and she was the CEO's daughter. Instead of engaging this woman in battle, I decided to ignore the office politics and focus on growing revenues, which I did by leaps and bounds. When I started at the company, we were billing 100 million annually. Two and a half years later, after I was named Chief Revenue Officer, that number had doubled to more than 200 million annually. Much of this increase was the direct result of my own effort. I had the house, the car, the clothes, the cushion of cash in my bank account. I had made my dream come true. I had it all. And then I was fired. In an instant, I went from being the hero who had more than doubled the company revenue, had won countless awards, had been promoted three times, and had just been named one of the most influential women in radio. Three weeks earlier. This was not a humbling experience. This was a horrific moment that left me under a weighted blanket with a bottle of Chardonnay attached to my wrist. This was the lowest of the lows of my life. A grown up version of getting your heart broken in high school. You thought you had it all figured out. You were so happy on top of the world, only to find out you were fooling yourself all along. That was exactly it. I had been fooling myself. All the while that woman was hating me and nursing her apparent desire to eradicate me from the company. You see, when her father became ill and needed to step down as CEO, he elevated his only daughter to the position of interim CEO. And she tortured me. I can't lie. The way this villain treated me made me feel miserable. But I refused to buckle. I wouldn't let her get the best of me. I refused to show any weakness. Here's just one example. I would be sitting in the conference room, usually the only other woman in the room, surrounded by male colleagues. As the villain would walk in, she would go up to each person at the table, one by one, saying hello and even hugging some. Then she would walk right by me as if I didn't exist. Those days were tough. They were tough because by ignoring me, she was signaling to everyone else that I didn't matter. I was invisible. This feeling of being ignored really got to me and it became worse over time and every time I allowed this to occur, I could feel her getting stronger as I got weaker. I was like Alice in Wonderland, shrinking away to nothing after taking a swig from a bottle labeled Drink Me. I hated that feeling that I didn't exist. Things had gotten so bad that the night before I knew she was going to be in a big meeting with me. I would start to panic. What would I do when she would ignore me again? I desperately needed my paycheck so I couldn't do what I most wanted to tell her off. What could I do? What I hadn't realized was that allowing her to continue to ignore me was not only chipping away at my self confidence, it was building hers and all the other executives and managers could see it. The rest of the team looked at me differently. Everyone had always seen me as a tremendously confident high performer. But I was starting to shrink in front of their very eyes. I was becoming nothing. I finally had enough of this game. I decided that while I couldn't tell her off, I could make sure she and everyone else in the meeting knew I was there to get ready for this moment. I practiced exactly what I was going to say in the mirror at home the morning of the meeting. I picked a red outfit, a power color that allows me to feel my best. Did my hair took some extra time to look good because I knew it would turn my self confidence up just a notch. I wanted to stand tall and exude confidence and with all my preparations complete, I knew I would. I had reached a point where nothing was worth allowing me to feel like a B rate version of myself. I wasn't nothing. I had delivered millions of dollars worth of business to the company for years. I deserved to be seen and heard. To put the icing on my confidence cake. I played my Fire me up playlist as I drove to the office. I showed up to the meeting and chatted everyone up, many people complimenting me on my dress. I smiled, thanked them. It was game on. Then in came the interim CEO. My new boss, the villain. She walked from person to person as she always did, and passed by me as she always did. She sat at the head of the table where she always sat. That's when I made my move. I raised my hand and said good morning. You must have missed me. I'm down here excited to be here. I gave her a big smile and a wave. I wasn't being mean or disrespectful but in that moment, I was building my confidence and I could see that hers was being chipped away. The reality is that in any moment you are either building your confidence or chipping away at it by the actions you take or don't take. If my new boss had wanted to build her confidence back, she could have said something like, Good morning Heather. Thank you for understanding that wasn't intentional. Glad you're here. Now, let's begin the meeting. But she didn't say anything. She hadn't seen that one coming. I saw a few of the men at the table shoot glances to one another and I even saw one of them trying to hold back his laugh. I had let it be known loud and clear I would no longer be ignored. That was it. The game ended right then and there. Or so I thought. Looking back, I believe this was the moment when the villain decided to get rid of me for good. Within a few months, I was gone. I'm sure you know the saying, when one door closes, another door opens. That's not how I saw it. I was in a total panic. My source of income had been suddenly and irrevocably cut off. Not only that, I had signed a non compete agreement when I became Chief Revenue Officer which prohibited me from taking a position with a competitor for one year after leaving the company. This meant that I couldn't leverage my vast network of connections in the industry for the next year. I would have to find some other way to generate income. And I needed income. There's another part of the story I neglected to tell you. When I was fired, I was a single mom with a 10 year old son. Dylan. While you may be expendable, you are never replaceable. There's no one else in the universe like you. I didn't realize this at the time, but today as I write these words, it is crystal clear. You have the ability and opportunity to take your unique skills and attributes wherever you want. Just because you have been successful in one lane doesn't mean that you can't succeed in another. Getting fired was painful and heartbreaking. That day I truly felt like I had lost everything. What I didn't realize was that while they could take away my paycheck, everything else stayed with me. No one can take your reputation, your experiences, your network and your talents. No one is replaceable. The scariest thing I did was deciding not to go back to corporate America and work for another company. Instead, I decided to go to work for myself. I would take all the success I had earned for others and use that success instead to ensure the future of my son and me. Sitting here right now, I still can't believe I did it. While I loved the security my steady paycheck provided, I hated the way it made me feel. I wasn't living up to my potential and I certainly wasn't happy. I was simply surviving, hoping my boss would finally recognize my worth and leave me alone to do what I did best. But that's no way to live. To find your true calling in life, you need to be willing to take risks and put yourself on the line. This may mean escaping your box by jumping out the window and realizing you've got wings and that they will open when you need them most. I think we all intuitively know this is the case, but sometimes we have to be pushed out the window to discover our wings have been there all along. Making the decision to sit alone instead of sitting at a table where you are not supported is not easy, but it will be worth it Meet a.
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Different Guest each Week Let me guess, you'd rather get a root canal than shop for car insurance. Yeah, you're not alone. It's a total headache. Quotes all over the place, confusing coverage, spam calls from companies you've never heard of. You'd think it was designed to be that frustrating, but it doesn't have to be. There's a smarter way. It's called Jerry, and it's not just another comparison site. It's the only car insurance app that does the hard work for you. Start to finish, Jerry makes things easy by handling the entire insurance shopping process in one place. It's a seamless start to finish experience from comparing quotes to getting covered. To get started, just answer a few simple questions once and Jerry instantly compares quotes from over 50 top rated insurers. No endless forms, no jumping site to site, no sales calls. Just clear personalized options you can trust with 24. 7 support. Jerry even cancels your old policy for you, which means switching is made easy. And it doesn't stop there. Jerry keeps working for you by automatically shopping and alerting you to better rates all year round so you never have to stress about overpaying for car insurance again. It's like having a personal car insurance expert in your pocket. Minus the sales pressure, Jerry helps you keep your data secure. No telemarketers, no selling your number. Unlike the other guys, they prioritize your privacy, sparing you the annoying flood of calls from insurance sellers. Jerry has helped more than 5 million customers find the best car insurance. In fact, Jerry users can find rates as low as $87 a month and drivers who save with Jerry save on average $110 a month. I use this and you should too. Let's be real Shopping for car insurance is right up there with waiting for the DMV or assembling Ikea furniture. Don't go that route. Stop needlessly overpaying for car insurance. Drivers who save with Jerry save over $1300 a year on average. So before you renew your policy, do yourself a favor. Download the Jerry app or head to Jerry AI Confidence. In just a few minutes, you can compare quotes and coverage from up to 50 top insurers. Jerry Car Insurance Made Simple, Smart and finally on your side. Based on drivers who switched and saved with Jerry over the past 12 months, over 20% of drivers who switched with Jerry found a monthly premium of $87 or less. Not all drivers find savings Jerry AI/ confidence when I started this podcast, it seemed like I had to figure it all out on my own. Scripts, setups, filming logos. It was super overwhelming and every day seemed to introduce a new decision that needed an answer on the spot. When you're starting off with something new, it seems like you to do list just keeps growing. Every day a new task and that list can easily begin to overrun your life. Finding the right tool that not only helps you out, but simplifies everything can be such a game changer for millions of businesses. That tool is Shopify. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10% of all e commerce in the US from household names like Mattel and Gymshark to brands just getting started. I can tell you with the creating confidence brand. Shopify is a game changer. Get started with your own design studio with hundreds of ready to use templates. Shopify helps you build a beautiful online store to match your brand style and they make it so easy. Accelerate your content creation. Shopify is packed with helpful AI tools that write product descriptions, page headlines and even enhance your product photography. Get the word out like you have a marketing team behind you. Easily create email and social media campaigns wherever your customers are scrolling or strolling. And best yet, Shopify is your e commerce expert with world class expertise in everything from managing inventory to international shipping to processing returns and beyond. If you're ready to sell, you're ready for Shopify. Turn your business idea into With Shopify on your side, sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com Monahan shopify.com Monahan shopifY.com Monahan Confidence Cle, I ask you to.
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Try to find your passion. While I'm recording this, I'm just thinking about yesterday and I spent the day with friends and I wasn't on my phone at all. And it was such an amazing feeling. And so often it's hard to do that, right? But after you do it, you feel like a million bucks. So challenging you this week or this weekend, at some point, pick out a few hours, whatever it is, five hours, seven hours, I don't know. And detach from that phone. You will feel so much better. Go outside for a walk, go to the beach, whatever it is for you. I'm a beach person. We were definitely at the beach and it was so worth it. So fun. And I actually want to get into one of the conversations that one of my friends brought up, but I first, I don't want to forget to answer your question. So I'm going to answer a question that I received DM on Instagram. Okay. Hey, Heather, listen to Overcome youe Villains on Audible. And then confidence Creator, you are an inspiration. Now I'm listening to your podcast and recommending it to others. So helpful. Oh, my gosh, you guys, when you share the show or your feedback on the books or. Or the show with anyone, it helps me so much. You have no idea. And so often I get notes from people saying, I'm sure you don't need the help, but let's just put it out there. Yeah, I need the help. Right? It's a super competitive industry. Whether you're an author, a speaker, or a podcast host, there are thousands of other people that do the same thing I do. So I'm always fighting for how can I get heard, how can I get shared? How can people recommend? Right. We live in a review and recommendation world. And it is really helpful when someone says, hey, I listened to the show. I love it and I think you'll love it too. So whenever you can do that, it means the world to me. Yes, I need your help. Nobody succeeds alone, including this girl right here. Okay, so, Heather, a few of my villains were in the church. This is interesting because I have not received a note like this before. Really? I found this very interesting. Not that I'm shocked, by the way, by this, because villains can be everywhere, right? They are everywhere, by the way. Okay. Okay. So a few of my villains are in the church. There was a transition during this time. It goes into some detail which I don't want to get into, but talking about, you know, different people within the church and how from one situation or another people were getting angry, you know, and it's interesting. The church is like, the one place you think this kind of stuff wouldn't happen. People wouldn't be villains. They wouldn't be saying nasty things. They wouldn't be getting angry. Yet it happens everywhere. I feel like I had to take their nonsense because I loved my job and I loved the church, which I get that, too. I needed flexibility for my family, my kids. And I thought I had such a good situation, I didn't want to ruin everything for my family. And my family was involved. Right. Because it's church people. I get it. After all this craziness, I ended up leaving. So that was, I'm sure, a very hard decision. However, absolutely the right decision. Because when you're surrounded by villains, you're never going to reach your potential, you're never going to attract your right people, and you're never going to find peace for yourself. Right. And this whole life is about finding peace and joy. And I'm so proud of you for making that very difficult decision. I see how complex it is when. When things get involved with the church. I really do understand, have a lot of empathy for that. Okay, so she goes on to say, none of these people that, you know, her villains really realize the extent of, you know, basically the abuse they were causing this woman, which that happens very often. Right. Most people, it's easy to see situations in others. It's very hard often to see it in yourself. I find this all the time with people. I'll sit down and talk with my friends and they'll explain a situation to me, and I'm like, oh, my gosh, it's so clear. Here's the answer. However, it certainly isn't that easy for myself when I'm saying, how do I grow my show? Why isn't. Why am I not selling millions of books yet? You know, I don't. I can't point to it real quick and figure out the answer, but it's very easy for others to do that sometimes. So I'm not shocked that they didn't realize the extent of how horrible they were being to this woman. I'm sure. P.S. you know, I relate this back to my own life and my story. I'm sure the woman that harassed me at work, you know, I'm sure she knew that wasn't ideal or, you know, she wasn't being really nice, but I bet she didn't think it was the worst thing in the world to extent of which I knew it was. Right. It's Just it's so much more obvious on the outside looking in, and sometimes it's really hard to identify. And when it is you. Right, so, okay, I get that. I believe that that makes sense. What do you do when you encounter your villain now? Okay, I'm gonna pause right there. So, number one, and I get asked this question a lot. I have never run into that woman again. Isn't that funny? Because she lives in Naples. She is the CEO of a company in Naples, Florida. And what's funny, I live in Miami. However, I'm on the board of directors of a company headquartered in Naples, Florida. Right. So I have to go over to Naples pretty often. Right. At least once a quarter. So multiple times a year, I'm in Naples. Naples is a very small city. And the hotel that I typically stay at over there, which is funny, it was the same hotel that I would stay at when I worked for her company. You know, Know, one day, it was so random. I was leaving the hotel after a board meeting and packed up my car, and I saw there was a lot of people in the hotel, and I wondered, oh, maybe there's a conference or something. I don't know, whatever, you know, I got in my car and took off. I end up getting a text from a good friend of mine from Miami who happened to be in Naples on vacation with his family, staying at the same hotel I had just checked out of. The irony is crazy. And he texts me to say, oh, my gosh, take a look at this. And he took a picture. It was the annual conference for the company I used to work for, and it was happening at the same hotel I was staying at for my board meeting. And I just didn't hang, you know, I didn't go in to eat breakfast or whatever before I left or lunch or whatever it was. I just grabbed my stuff and left once the meeting was done. So I was in the same hotel with that woman, my villain, and I did not see her. So sort of interesting. So I haven't run into my villain to answer her question and answer a question I'm asked very often. I haven't. So I don't know necessarily how I would respond. I think I know, but you don't know until you're in it, right? There's nothing that matches being in it. What I can tell you is that woman who fired me, she had a right hand. Our general counsel at the time, back when I worked at the company, and they were a frickin frack. They did everything together they hated on me together, right they were just not very nice. And I ran into the GC on a flight right before COVID hit. I was leaving LA and flying back to Fort Lauderdale, and she was on the same flight that I was. And I'll tell you, my heart, it was the craziest thing. And what I want to explain to everyone about this is your body will naturally be triggered by certain people or situations, smells, locations, whatever it is, because your brain is just hardwired that way, right? So for me, I worked side by side with this GC for 14 years. She always treated me terribly. In the end, her and her buddy fired me, right? It was a very negative experience. I didn't stand up for myself very often, so I didn't feel good about it. Seeing her face triggered that feeling and emotion inside me of, oh, my gosh, they treat me horrible. I hate seeing them at work. Oh, I can't stand. I felt so emotional. It took me back to that time when I had worked with them, and I didn't like it. I actually text my friend from the plane who still worked at that old company, and I said, oh, my gosh, I just ran into the gc. I'm sweating bullets. I can't believe that she's here. And he writes back, whoa, slow down. You don't even have to work with her anymore. What do you care? You should be jumping up and down saying, hey, I'm living my best life. I don't have to work with this jerk anymore. You know, it was so obvious to him. It wasn't to me, emotionally charged in the moment, but I felt so grateful to say, he's right. I should be jumping up and down. I don't have to work with that nasty lady. And I'm seeing her and I'm remembering how bad it felt to be around her. And I don't have to feel like that anymore. And I'm so grateful. So, you know, that actually reminds me of. There's a scientific experiment called Pavlov's Law, which is all about scientists training dogs that whenever they hear a bell, they're going to be fed. What ended up happening is the minute they'd hear the bell, their body would start reacting as if they had already eaten. Their mouth would salivate, and then they'd remove the food. And it would take a while for them to be unconditioned from that bell. Well, this woman, this general counsel, she was the bell to my body to signify upset, fear, anger, resentment, whatever these emotions were, I was holding. And it worked. I was triggered immediately I didn't do anything. I went and sat in my seat, but luckily I reached out to this friend who still worked with her and said, oh, she's still nasty as ever, horrible as ever, Jump up and down. You don't have to work with her and be grateful. And it really helped me flip that perspective. So here we go. So, you know, she wanted to know how I reacted when I saw my villain. I didn't. I saw one of my villains, and I really, you know, kept it together. I did not. I didn't say anything to her, by the way. I just walked right by. I kept my head held high and wasn't about to smile or say hello to her. Okay. She says, well, my villain acts as if we're on great terms. Like, basically, as nothing bad ever happened, she, you know, trying to take the high road, which I totally. I get it. She said, I'm grateful because leaving me has led me to a better career, but still, just yuck, right? Like, it's almost as if. And I get this. You feel like this lady's getting away with something. She treated you terribly, and now she's acting like your buddies. Total bs, right? So, to me, I would probably. I'd probably say something in a calm manner, but, you know, you need to stand up for yourself. And here's the thing. People will treat you the way you teach them to. Now, another thing I know is you want to forgive people. You want to let go of anger and move on. And that's a process. It took a long time for me to do that, but it benefited me in the end. The more I used to focus on how nasty that lady was, the more I would focus on how upset she made me, the more upset and angry I stayed. And the less I put my time and energy onto building my business and my life that I was creating, right? So once I finally forgave her, let go of her, released her from my life, I was no longer tethered to her in any way. I didn't have to spend my time thinking about her, seeking, seeing how the company performance was going. I let it go. And once I let it go, my business started building more because I put my attention and my energy there. So that's number one, I would say, is, you know, find forgiveness in your heart. Not for them, but for you. Undo those tethers. They're no longer tethered to you. You've taken the high road. You've moved on. You made the right decision for you. You put yourself first. Cheering you on. So freaking amazing that you did that and start putting your time, energy and effort towards the things that you want to create in your life and let go of that. Meet a different guest each week.
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Attention Renters. If you haven't heard of Built, you are about to thank me. Earn your favorite airline miles and hotel points through Build just by paying your rent on time. Let me explain. There's no cost to join, and just by paying rent, you unlock flexible points that can be transferred to your favorite hotels and airlines, a future rent payment, your next Lyft ride, and more. When you pay rent through bilt, you unlock two powerful benefits. First, you earn one of the industry's most valuable points on rent every month. No matter where you live or who your landlord is, your rent now works for you. Second, you gain access to exclusive neighborhood benefits in your city. Built neighborhood benefits are things like extra points on dining out, complimentary post workout shakes, free mats or towels at your favorite fitness studios, and unique experiences that only Built members can access. And when you're ready to travel, Built points can be converted to your favorite miles and hotel points around the world, meaning your rent can literally take you places. So if you're not earning points on rent, my question is, what are you waiting for? Start paying rent through Built and take advantage of your neighborhood benefits by going to joinbuilt.com confidence that's J O I N B I L T.com confidence. Make sure to use our URL so they know we sent you. Join bilt.com confidence to sign up for Built Today. I live in Florida and I've always struggled to find intimates that are breathable and lightweight. I recently tried the Skims Fits Everybody collection and I found my new favorite bras and underwear. These pieces mold my body. I even forget I'm wearing them throughout the day. I've never tried anything that can actually beat the heat or humidity in Miami. Everyone deserves this level of comfort. I guess I'm the last person to try Skims. It's an underwear line that's game changing. I'll never go back in the past, I've always struggled with Bralettes, digging into my sides and causing awkward bulges or leaving marks at the end of the day. The Fits Everybody triangle Bralette fabric is amazing. It stretches to twice its size, so it provides the best support and lift without any discomfort. I don't know what kind of magic they put into this fabric, but it's like nothing I've ever felt. I've been reaching for it every day. It says that good shop Skims Fits Everybody collection@skims.com and in skim stores. Available in sizes XXS to 4X. After you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you select podcast in the survey and be sure to select our show in the drop down menu that follows.
- [36:03]
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I asked you to try to find your passion.
- [36:07]
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Why is Mito Pure important to you? Let me give you a few examples. I feel so much stronger my workouts. I'm recovering quicker.
- [36:13]
A
I have more energy.
- [36:15]
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I want to proactively preserve my health, mobility and strength as I get older. I want to support my cellular health. This supplement can help because it supports your health at the foundation by encouraging cellular renewal. Mitopure is a precise dose of the rare postbiotic Urolithin A. It works by promoting an essential cellular cleanup process that clears out dysfunctional mitochondria, AKA your cell's battery packs. Mitopure is the only Urolithin A supplement on the market clinically proven to target the effects of cellular decline. With regular use, you'll see and feel the difference in the form of improved energy levels, better workouts, faster recovery, more endurance and more. All of which will help you achieve your New Year's goals. P.S. midopeer is shown to deliver double digit increases in muscle strength and endurance without a change in exercise.
- [37:03]
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Win.
- [37:04]
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This is your year to be your best, most energized, most revitalized you. Mitopure promotes cellular renewal and mitochondrial health to address common signs of aging. At the root, cellular health is a foundation of well being and longevity might appear. Recharges yourself supporting any goals by helping all of your systems work better. Mitopure is research backed innovation that unlocks your fullest potential. Awaken the strength, power and resilience already in you. With the first and only supplement clinically proven to rejuvenate health at the cellular level, Thymeline is offering 10% off your first order of Mitopure. Go to timeline.com confidence that's that's T I M E L I N E.com confidence.
- [37:47]
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I asked you to try to find your passion. So as I mentioned, I turned 48 today and I'm big into like I have these funny routines I like to do for any birthday. I like to look back on the last year, right? Like what did I accomplish I'm really proud of or what did I learn from this last year that's important for me to write down and move forward with. And then also what am I looking forward to in this next year? And when I was reflecting on on those things for 47, verse 48. You know, a couple things come to mind. One, when I look at my life today versus one year ago today, my son had just gotten out of academic camp, right? Because he was coming off of Zoom school, which was awful. And if you have a kid that is, you know, in the teens, you can feel me. It was so isolating, so hard for them. No sports, just. It was very hard. And so we were not in the greatest place. He was getting better, right? He was trying. He had made it through the academic camp, which I was so proud of. But things were not perfect. They were far from normal or far from perfect. But to know where he was then versus where he is now, you know, he's thriving. It's incredible the change that I've seen in him and him being able to be around friends again and have a year back in real school with real people and. And it just. It's so amazing to have that gratitude now for these things that we used to just take for granted every day. I just took for granted my son would go to school every day and be with friends and play sports. Cause I had lived that. That life my whole life. And why wouldn't he? And to have this complete hiccup or nightmare or whatever you want to call it with COVID you know, it gives an opportunity just to be grateful every day that we wake up that he can be around people his own age, that he can interact with others. And I'm happy, so, so excited for him going back to school this week. So that's something that's super exciting to see. His journey in the last year has been remarkable, and I'm. I'm incredibly proud of him. For me, you know, obviously, when you're worried about your child, that is one of the hardest things, because you can't control everything around it. You can't control really anything around it. But you just hope that you're being the best parent you can be. Not knowing if you are, especially if you have one child, like you haven't seen this movie before, you're just hoping you're doing it right or doing it the best that you can. So that had been an issue for me. My speaking business was picking up for sure. I had tons of Zoom events, which was great. But obviously, in person, events are my favorite. And starting to see the transition that's been occurring, building momentum to more in person has been. All of this is just makes me so much more hopeful for the future, so much more excited about the future and what's to come, which is amazing. And then my book with Harper Collins, Overcome youe Villains. A year ago, that book was not out, you know, now today it is, right? So that's a huge accomplishment that I'm super proud of. I constantly read the Reviews and the DMs I get from you, and I'm just so grateful for the feedback that I get. And to know that I can play a small part in someone's life in helping them to embrace fear or tackle change or go for more. It's an incredible feeling that when I was back in corporate America, I didn't feel. And to know today that I do work that gets to help people means the world to me. So I don't know what you're doing right now. If you're not feeling fulfilled, keep looking because there are opportunities out there for you to find something more fulfilling. I don't know what that looks like yet. And I didn't know what it was for me. A decade ago, I had no idea I would work ridiculous hours in corporate America and then work nights and weekends for a charity trying to find that fulfillment. Now today, I found a way to merge it all together again. It didn't happen overnight. It happened after a series of crazy events. But you've got to have faith that you'll be led to that right place and that things will work out, because I truly believe they will. And I surely see that they are for me. So just keep going, keep taking the chances, keep listening to yourself and keep moving forward. So some of the things that I did in the last year, I'll never forget, it was December of last year, so I was still 47 and I just decided I needed to clear. I wanted some space in my life, so I decided to clear out so much. Just purge as much stuff as I could out of my house to make space. And when you do that for some people, it provides a level of clarity, just a level of space where you can think more clearly. It really helped me a lot. It helped bring me some clarity. So just an interesting exercise for you to try possibly. You know, when you have that space around you, your mind has that space, you welcome that clarity. It's a great hack that if you haven't tried yet, purge your house and see what clarity you get from it. Okay? Get rid of some old stuff so you can make space for something new and better. That's what I did back in December. And then January came and I was in an awful court case with legal situation with my ex husband. And you know, that was very negative, right? Like, didn't love that. And when she saw me, she said, oh my gosh, you don't seem like yourself. You're just like at a low vibration. She said, talk to my energy healer. And I called her energy healer. And I actually did a whole episode on this. So go back and check out the episode with Tonya Lester. It's amazing. And that woman changed my life. I mean, literally within days of meeting with her, my court case was wrapped up with my ex and things were resolved out of left field. I mean, I was shocked by it and things just got a lot better and there was a weight lifted off of me. And so I know that this isn't for everybody, but for me, it offered me a lot of healing and just a sense that my energy was vibrating at a higher level. And we are all energy and we are all vibrating at some level and attracting things to us. Just being aware of, you know, what does that look like for you? What level are you vibrating at? What are you attracting to yourself? And there are things you can do to change it. And I live that and I preach it and go back and listen to that episode. Cause it is fact. It's my truth. And if it can help me, it might be able to help you. But definitely check it out. And so I went through that process, which was happened really quickly and really changed things for the better. And then, you know, suddenly, as I said, my neighbor was telling me I should move, and then I was further purging more things out of my home. And, you know, it's been this up and down roller coaster of things I didn't expect, but welcoming these things into my life, knowing I don't know what this looks like on the other side, right. But there's a possibility of something that's better and being willing to let go of what's okay to go for what could be great. That's the whole thing. That's the whole key about growth and about, you know, possibility and improving your life. So I've definitely stepped into these things. I've definitely chosen to see fear as a green light. That means go and move into it faster and faster. And I hope that some of these things that I've gone through can potentially inspire you to go for more, inspire you to let go of what's not serving you so you can grab on to that next thing that can take you to that next level or open that next door for you and be willing to know there is a possibility for more out there if you choose to and want to go for it. So I want you to. I'm hopeful that you will. I'm so grateful for how far I've come in the last year. I can't even put it into words. I'm so excited about the possibility for the next year ahead. It's. I mean, literally, I'm freaking out. I'm so excited. It's going to be major. I just have this feeling this is my best year yet. I'm putting the intention out there and it's going to happen. So what's next? I don't know. But I'm going to keep you up to speed here every week like I always do. Until next week. Keep creating your confidence. You know I will be. Please share this episode. If you like it, that's how I know you like it. When you share, tag me. I will always repost you. And I so appreciate your support and can't wait to see you next week. I decided to change that dynamic. I couldn't be more excited for what you're gonna hear. Start learning and growing. Inevitably something will happen. No one succeeds alone. You don't stop and look around once in a while. You could miss it. Come on this journey with.