Podcast Summary: Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan

“Confidence Classic: Speak with Gravitas and Command the Room”

Guest: Caroline Goyder
Host: Heather Monahan
Date: February 24, 2026

Episode Overview

This episode dives deep into mastering confident speech and commanding presence, both in-person and virtually. Heather welcomes voice and gravitas expert Caroline Goyder, internationally known for her TED talk and decades of experience coaching actors, broadcasters, and business leaders. Together, they break down actionable advice for building confidence, managing nerves, and using your body and voice to influence and inspire any audience.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Myth of Natural Confidence

• Confidence is Behavior, Not Innate:

  • Caroline reveals that confidence is a set of learned behaviors, not a fixed trait.
  • “Confidence isn't something you're born with... it's like thinking, I can't drive and I need to drive—the thing you do is go get driving lessons.”—Caroline (09:22)

• The Importance of Coaching—even for Experts:

  • Caroline describes being meticulously prepared for her famous TED talk, working with several coaches.
  • “You can’t cut your own hair... you can’t coach your own talk because you can’t see your blind spots. So coaching is essential.”—Caroline (06:50)

Voice, Breath, and Body: Foundations of Gravitas

• Breath as the “Master Key”:

  • Proper breathing transforms your presence and calms nerves.
  • Diaphragmatic breathing is essential:
    • In through nose, out through mouth (especially before a presentation).
    • “The full stop for a speaker is the in breath... if you take a really relaxed in breath then everything you say is relaxed.”—Caroline (14:50)

• Diaphragm Awareness:

  • Place your hand just below your ribs to feel the diaphragm engage as you breathe.
  • “When you breathe in, the diaphragm descends... when you breathe out, the diaphragm rises. Speaking should feel like singing.”—Caroline (16:12)

• Pre-Performance Rituals:

  • Quiet time and breath work (as actors do) before any big talk enhances calm and enables performance.
  • “They’re tuning into mind, breath and body. Quiet is the most important thing before you perform.”—Caroline (18:02)

Harnessing the Power of Practice and Visualization

• Preparation for All Speakers—Not Just the Pros:

  • Significant practice is non-negotiable, even for high-profile speakers.
  • “I practice five to seven hours to this day for any speech I’m gonna give.”—Heather quoting Tim Storey (10:30)

• Visualize Success, Never Failure:

  • Mental rehearsal is as crucial as physical practice.
  • “If the brain has seen it go well... it thinks it’s already done it before.”—Caroline (12:29)

The Art of the Pause and Performance Dynamics

• Pausing as a Tool for Gravitas:

  • Silence lets your message land and keeps the audience engaged.
  • “A pause... is like good poetry. Not everything is speaking. You create space for the audience to connect with it.”—Caroline (22:11)

• Varying Pace and Emotional Resonance:

  • Consider what you want your audience to feel at each stage.
  • “A good speech has dynamics... we can really move an audience through emotional gears. Just like a good movie.”—Caroline (23:42)

Motion, Gestures, and Commanding the Room

• Stillness Projects Authority:

  • The most powerful people—on stage or in fiction—are often the most still.
  • “The most powerful person is still because everybody else moves around them... stillness in the breath underpins stillness in the body.”—Caroline (33:22)

• Gestures and Movement:

  • Stand and use natural gestures—especially over video calls—for vocal energy and audience connection.
  • “Everything I do with my hands affects my breathing, and my voice is breath. Gesture affects my voice.”—Caroline (25:50)

• Strategic Stage Movement:

  • Move to mark transitions—not constantly. Let the “thought move you.”
  • “Land a point, land the energy, then you pause and take a wander... it shows you’re changing your thinking.”—Caroline (27:51)

Projection, Presence, and Physical Wellbeing

• Projecting Your Voice Without Strain:

  • Ground your feet, align posture, use belly for power—don’t push from the throat.
  • “Grounded feet, straight spine, power in the belly. Pull the voice in, don’t push out.”—Caroline (29:20)

• Physical Tension & Its Effects:

  • Activities that tighten hip flexors (e.g., spinning, cycling) can constrain your jaw and voice; balance with stretching.

Gravitas and Authenticity

• Defining Gravitas:

  • “Seriousness, dignity, weight... grounded presence.”
  • “It’s you at your best, helping someone. It’s calm, measured, honest, congruent, expert. That’s it.”—Caroline (31:45)

• Introverts and Quiet Power:

  • Power doesn’t require extroversion; being yourself, honoring stillness, and finding ease is often more compelling than trying to ‘perform’.
  • “It’s fine not to be Tony Robbins. Just be you.”—Caroline (42:16)

Building Confidence for Life

• Daily Habits:

  • Breath monitoring, stretching, gentle singing or chanting in the morning.
  • “Anything that gets you into your body, gets your body released, and gets your voice centered.”—Caroline (34:33)

• Making Practice Enjoyable:

  • Practice should be fun and leverage your strengths; a good coach helps expand your comfort zone gently.
  • “If you force it... it doesn’t work. We sometimes need someone to go, ‘try this.’”—Caroline (47:50)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "You can't cut your own hair because you can't see round the back. You can't coach your own talk because you can't see your blind spots." —Caroline (06:50)

• “A pause... is like good poetry. You create space for the audience to connect with it.” —Caroline (22:11)

• “If the brain has seen it go well, it thinks it’s already done it before.” —Caroline (12:29)

• "The most powerful person is still, because everybody else moves around them." —Caroline (33:22)

• “Just be you.” —Heather (44:05), echoed by Caroline (44:06)

• “Gravitas... isn’t charisma, it’s not impressive. It’s you at your best helping someone.” —Caroline (31:45)

Important Timestamps

• 03:04: Stillness and power in presence
• 05:46: The value of coaching—Caroline’s TED prep story
• 09:22: Building confidence; learning and practice
• 14:50: Breath; in through nose, out through mouth for speech
• 16:12: Diaphragm explained for speakers
• 18:02: Pre-performance rituals
• 22:11: Power of the pause
• 23:42: Speech dynamics and emotion
• 25:40: Gestures on virtual platforms
• 29:20: Voice projection techniques
• 33:22: Stillness as confidence; “king” example
• 41:09: Breathing practice—calm for confidence
• 42:16: Introvert strategies; “just be you”
• 47:50: Making practice fun and sustainable

Actionable Takeaways

• Preparation beats nerves: Consistent practice, visualization, and rehearsal are the real “secret sauce” of confidence.
• Control your breath for calm: Center yourself with in-breath pauses; use your diaphragm for power.
• Movement and stillness: Use both intentionally—stillness to command, movement to transition ideas.
• Be authentic: Don’t strive to be someone else on stage; your own quiet power is compelling.
• Make the craft enjoyable: Find ways (coaching, habits, routines) to enjoy practicing your presence and delivery.

For more:
Visit carolinegoyder.com for courses, books, and events on speaking with confidence and gravitas.
Highly recommended: Caroline’s TED talk, “The Surprising Secret to Speaking with Confidence.”