Confidence Classic: The Goal-Setting Habits That Turn Dreams Into Reality with Heather!

Summary

Podcast Summary

Podcast: Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Episode: Confidence Classic: The Goal-Setting Habits That Turn Dreams Into Reality
Date: July 21, 2026
Host: Heather Monahan

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Episode Overview

In this special "Confidence Classic" episode, Heather Monahan revisits her personal roadmap to goal-setting and breaking through barriers—transforming dreams into actionable, real results. Drawing from her journey of overcoming adversity, shattering corporate glass ceilings, and becoming a celebrated speaker and entrepreneur, Heather delivers actionable advice, strategies, and deeply honest insights to help listeners set—and crush—their biggest goals in life and business. The episode is a blend of practical tools and personal revelations, wrapped in Heather's trademark candid, motivating style.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Power of Reflection and Perspective (02:14–06:46)

• Reflection on Hard Times: Heather encourages listeners to pause and consider how far they've come over the past year, especially when facing holiday season stress or tough life circumstances.
  • “Give yourself that gift of reflection...whatever it is in your life, you might not be happy with everything right now...However, it's so much better than it was a year ago and it's so easy to forget that.” (05:09)
• Learning from Setbacks: She recounts tough periods in her life, like a recent court battle and illness, emphasizing that surviving past challenges is proof of the ability to overcome future ones.

2. Writing Goals and Setting Intentions (06:46–08:37)

• Importance of Writing Goals Down: Heather highlights that most people plan groceries but neglect to write down their annual goals, even though written goals vastly increase the likelihood of success.
  • “If you write them down, you're 90% more likely to achieve them...If you share them with an accountability partner, you're like 80% more likely to achieve it.” (05:51)
• Daily Goal Reading: She advises reading your goals daily and focusing on your “why” to stay motivated, yet recognizing that flexibility is important as circumstances (like a pandemic) can disrupt plans.

3. Embracing Change and Finding Blessings in Adversity (08:37–12:27)

• Letting Go of Old Identities: Heather shares that the pandemic forced her to let go of rigidity and benefit from unexpected opportunities, like becoming an in-demand virtual speaker.
  • “I had to let go of what I had known in order to be willing to embrace what is and what could be.” (07:28)
• Purging Physical and Mental Clutter: Her recent move after 17 years prompted deep self-reflection through journaling, helping her link past happiness (or lack thereof) to her surroundings and behaviors.

4. Growth Mindset and Surroundings (12:27–17:36)

• Not Everyone Wants to Grow: She contrasts her own drive for constant growth with people comfortable with the status quo—urging listeners to be proud of their decision to pursue growth.
  • “To reach our potential, to reach the plan that God has for us, which is so much greater than anything we can ever imagine... But it's all about stepping into that unknown.” (10:04)
• Self-Accountability: Sharing your goals and maintaining promises to yourself is critical for confidence, while failing to do so undermines self-trust.

5. Handling Toxic Work Environments & Setting Smart Goals (15:15–23:51)

• Toxic Workplaces: Heather recounts coaching clients dealing with difficult colleagues, reminding listeners not to internalize negativity and to respond thoughtfully.
  • “When people treat you really badly...that's about them. That's not about you. It says a lot about them. It says very, very little about you. How you respond to that situation says a lot about you.” (16:06)
• SMART Goals & Deadlines: She stresses making goals specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and timely, with real deadlines to transform dreams into achievable targets.
• Changing Limiting Language: Stop saying things like “golden handcuffs”—replace limiting narratives with self-empowering language that moves you forward.

6. Daily Habits for Mood and Progress (17:36–23:51)

• Coping Mechanisms: When deprived of her usual stress relief (exercise), Heather focused on small, controllable actions—walking, water, sleep—to regain positivity.
• Supportive Tools: She introduces her “Soul Sayings” product line—affirmative messages designed to provide daily boosts of inspiration.

7. Embracing the Unexpected & Celebrating Wins (23:51–29:36)

• Surprise Opportunities: Heather shares her recent experience speaking at Miami Heat’s arena, a venue tied to her old corporate life, and reflects on the surreal joy of achieving a dream she hadn’t fully dared to voice.
  • "I'm going to arrive this week as the talent, as the speaker, not as the audience. And it was such a wild moment going in there." (24:44)
• Setting Audacious Goals: Heather consistently creates ambitious targets—like becoming a NYT bestseller or a top 10 business podcast—and credits audience support for her progress.

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Practical Takeaways: Heather's Top 10 Tips for Big Stage Moments (29:36–40:14)

1. Turn Fear into Excitement:

• Whenever you feel nerves, reframe them as excitement; use music and movement to get energized.

  "There's a fine line between fear and excitement… I jump up and down… to prime my mind, to create success for myself. And then I start saying, I'm excited. I'm so excited." (31:16)

2. Lead with a Personal Story:

• Connect with your audience from the start for immediate engagement.

  “A personal story creates a connection... the more authentic and real it is, the more you're gonna captivate others…” (31:57)

3. Maximize Your Energy:

• Fire up with your favorite songs, jump around, and eliminate negativity from your proximity, even temporarily.

4. Make It About the Audience:

• Focus on how you can help others, not on your potential for embarrassment.

5. Use Past Proof:

• Remind yourself of previous times you overcame nerves and succeeded.

6. Visualize Success:

• Mentally rehearse your ideal outcomes, for both presentations and days in general.

7. Be Your Own Cheerleader:

• Practice positive self-talk.

  "You hear your voice and your words more than anyone else. Make sure those words are supportive and uplifting for you." (37:01)

8. Look Beyond Yourself for Inspiration:

• Reference other industries, preachers, or leaders for new ideas. Reinvention, not innovation, often leads to breakthrough success (Sarah Blakely, Kim Kardashian examples).

9. Ask for What You Want:

• Set clear audience expectations, reward great questions, and make engagement fun and inclusive.

10. Show Up as Your True, Flawed Self:

• Authenticity builds connection; share faults and vulnerabilities.

Bonus: Prepare for your big day by arranging your environment and schedule for your own success—ask for family/colleague support, invest in yourself (coaching, learning), and protect your prep time.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On reflection:
  "It's so much better than it was a year ago and it's so easy to forget that." (05:09)
• On resilience:
  "We've got to hold our word to ourselves and stay honest and true to ourselves. And when we can do that, doesn't matter what the outcome is. We know that we are living our truth." (12:18)
• On letting go:
  “I had to let go of what I had known in order to be willing to embrace what is and what could be.” (07:28)
• On facing fear:
  “I'm never gonna realize my potential... until I take the leap, until I pick my head up outside of this awful situation and start looking for where else I can add value…” (18:48)
• On accountability:
  “When we break promises to ourselves, that's really the ultimate confidence destruction.” (12:09)
• On authenticity:
  “People want to connect and relate to someone, not feel isolated or separate. Be sure to speak with inclusion and approach the audience as one of them. We are all in this together.” (37:06)

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Useful Timestamps

• Reflection on the past year / setbacks: 02:14–06:46
• Writing down goals, daily intention setting: 06:47–08:37
• The impact of change, embracing new opportunities: 08:37–12:27
• Growth mindset, self-accountability: 12:27–17:36
• Toxic work environments & setting deadlines/goals: 15:15–23:51
• Coping with adversity, Soul Sayings affirmations: 17:36–23:51
• Special speaking opportunity with the Miami Heat: 23:51–29:36
• Heather’s top 10 tips for big moments: 29:36–40:14

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Final Thoughts

Heather’s message is both practical and motivational—she encourages listeners to reflect, document, and commit to their goals, embrace the unknown, and consistently invest in their own growth. From actionable strategies for conquering big moments to candid admissions of personal struggle, Heather’s advice is always honest, direct, and delivered with compassion.

Takeaway:
Write your goals down, share them, hold yourself accountable, and never be afraid to dream bigger. If you need an accountability partner or extra inspiration, Heather invites you to connect through her website, social media, or her email support program.

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“Until next week, keep creating your confidence. You know I will be.” (40:17)

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

used to always say I have golden handcuffs. I can't leave. Well, I was speaking that to be a truth to myself. I was holding myself there with these made up golden handcuffs. I'm in a really difficult situation because I've been here for a long time and I'm really scared to leave. However, I'm never gonna realize my potential. I'm never gonna realize the other opportunities are out there for me until I take the leap. Until I pick my head up outside of this awful situation and start looking for where else I can add value, what other problems I can solve and what other good I can do in the world. Stop speaking in words and using words that are holding you back. Instead, start empowering yourself with the words that will thrust you forward and try to be as mindful as possible. Come on this journey with me each week when you join me. We are going to chase down our goals, overcome adversity and set you up for a better tomorrow. I'm ready for my close up.

[A]

Tell me, have you been enjoying these new bonus Confidence Classics episodes we've been dropping on you every week? We've literally hundreds of episodes for you to listen to, so these bonuses are a great way to help you find the ones you may have already missed. I hope you love this one as

[B]

much as I do. Hi and welcome back. I'm so glad you're back here with me this week. I hope your December is going amazing and you're excited for your holidays. However, I know that the holidays are not always a joyful time of year for everyone and I just want you to know that if you are going through a tough time, I hear you. It does not always come together as seamlessly or perfectly as you want or hope. I remember last year I was going through a really tough few months of my life. I was in a court case with my ex husband about my son. You know, things just were not going well and I was really frustrated. I was discouraged. Both my son and I got sick right before Christmas and it just felt like, wait a minute, there's all this hype and we're supposed to be having this amazing season and everyone on social media is so happy and things are going so great. It just felt terrible. Which is also one of the reasons why I want you to reflect on a year ago, right now, and just think to yourself how far you've come. Like whatever it is in your life, you might not be happy with everything right now. I'm certainly not. However, it's so much better than it was a year ago and it's so easy to forget that, right? It is so easy. So give yourself that gift of reflection of where you were a year ago, right now, what you've overcome, you know, what great decisions you've made. Of course, I'm sure there's some that you're not super happy about. I definitely have a few that I'm not happy about. But we learn from them and we move on, we grow. So, you know, even if you are in a moment right now where it is challenging, where you are frustrated, you're not living your best life, know that you've overcome other challenging times and you will overcome this one as well and try to take some of that pressure off yourself. That always helps me to put things in better perspective is to appreciate those hard times in the past and, and really remind myself that, you know what? I can get through this as well. That's past proof that, that we can get through these current and future moments that are challenging because we are all going to have them. So I hope that you take a moment to reflect on where you were a year ago, all of the amazing things you've accomplished, all the goals that you had set out to achieve, and P.S. can you please do me a favor? I guarantee most everyone listening right now puts together a grocery list before you leave the house to make sure you get your kids whatever they want, or your spouse or yourself. But so often people aren't writing those things down for the new year, their goals, the new year. I write down an insane amount of goals. I don't think I've ever achieved all of them, but that's okay, you know, it's different things for me to shoot for and things change. During the year, right? Things happen that are unexpected and it's important to have goals, to write them down, to revisit them, to get up every day with an intention, right? I read my goals almost every single day. I actually didn't today because my son had a sleepover last night and it was just pure chaos. And I've been thinking about it all day. I didn't do my routine, you know, I didn't get up and have a moment to thank God for all that I have and be grateful for all the amazing things that I have and look at what my intention is for that day and how I want to lead my life with joy and love and to look at my goals and my. Why? Why am I trying to do this? I want to make the world a better place. I want to impact people in a positive way, right? So get in the habit of reminding yourself what it is you're setting out to do. If you keep these ideas and goals top of mind, you're so much more likely to achieve them. If you write them down, you're 90% more likely to achieve them, right? If you share them with an accountability partner, you're like 80% more likely to achieve it. There's so many different ways you can set yourself up for success, but you've got to make yourself a priority and do it. It's that simple. So I am working on my goals for next year. The funny thing is, since the pandemic occurred, I'm so much less rigid about things. Meaning I used to have my 1 year, 5 year, 10 year plans and they had to go the way I dictated and I had to achieve them. And then the pandemic hit and it wiped everything out and so threw me for a loop that I know for some people was harder than others. And some people had a great time during the pandemic. It just depends where you were in your life. For me, it was an incredibly challenging time and I was so scared. I was so afraid of that uncertainty. I lost so much business in a

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short window of time.

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However, trying to find the gratitude and the blessings. I look back now and the blessing for me was that I learned how to be a great virtual speaker. I didn't even know virtual speaking was a thing. P.S. now I do virtual speeches every week and I never have to leave my house. Granted, I get paid half as much as I would if I was in person, but there's still something so beautiful about that. You can reach more people without having to travel. You can do multiple events in one day. I had one day, I did eight virtual events and I reached thousands of people from so many different companies. Right. So there are blessings there if you're willing to see them and celebrate them. And that's what I'm training myself to do because I love, in person, everything. And I was so discouraged for a while. I had to let go of what I had known in order to be willing to embrace what is and what could be. And then now everything's hybrid. So there's such a benefit and blessing to both of it and I hope you can see that in your life. So for me, when I think about a year ago, I just think about all of these challenges I was up against. You know, since then I've moved. I live in an incredible place. This adventure this year, you know, I've never been to the area I live in now. I'm always meeting new people. It's just life is so different than the way it had been very similar for 17 years. And you know, I completely purged everything in my home, which was such a great exercise. If you have not done that, oh my gosh, give yourself the gift of clearing clutter out of your life. It will help you so much. So, you know, I did that and I went through that exercise and yeah, it was challenging moving, right? Oh my gosh, when you haven't moved in 17 years, it's holy. I have forgotten what that was like and I had forgotten how much stuff I had accumulated. But it was also really cool to go back and look through it.

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Right.

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I went back and I was looking through my notes. I take notes on everything. I journal and I was looking back on the notes over the last 17 years of my life and seeing it was so crystal clear to me what, wow, this is why things were going well at that point in time or wow, I'm really proud of myself that I did that, or oh my gosh, I wish I could speak to the me back then and let her know why she wasn't feeling good about the situation. There was a reason. Right. I just didn't know it yet. So it's so insightful and just gives you that opportunity to become more self aware. Right. And ask yourself more curious questions as to why we're behaving in a certain way or why we make the decisions that we do or why we beat ourselves up so much. Right. Or why we didn't deliver on a goal that was important to us. And give yourself some grace that, you know, we're all on this journey together. If you're Here you're on a growth journey, so I'm already proud of you just for that. Right? Good for you. There are so many people in the world that just aren't even interested in growing. I was speaking to a good friend of mine who has a huge, incredible business. She's uber successful. And she made a comment to me when we were on the phone. She said, heather, you know, not everyone is like us. Not everyone wants to get out there and kill it and invent new things and grow and expand. Some people are okay with just getting by. And that hit me, because I don't think I know you. That's not you. Right? It's not me. So it's hard to understand that. However, when I really challenge myself, there's been times in my life that I wasn't growing at the trajectory I am now, right? That I was just like, okay, wait a minute. Pause for a second. It happens to everybody. You know that you get into different moments in your life where you're like, okay, I gotta take my foot off the gas for a moment. I need to breathe, I need to readjust, and then I can get back to it again. So, not judging anyone that isn't in that phase, but I'm proud of you that you are, because I truly believe we're on this earth and to reach our potential, to reach the plan that God has for us, which is so much greater than anything we can ever imagine. My life has taken so many turns that I would have never projected or conceived of. And I know it's so much greater than me, and I feel so blessed for that gift. But it's all about stepping into that unknown, stepping into that uncertainty, moving to the place where you don't know anybody, being willing to walk away from what might be okay in order to start going for great. And all of those things don't come with a guarantee. They're definitely going to come with some hiccups along the way. But I believe they're all worth it. And I hope you do, too, because I believe you are worth it. And I want you to go for more in 2023 and challenge yourself and write those goals down and share them with somebody. Go to my social media, share them on my post. DM me, go to my website, heather monahan.com shoot them to me. I want you to feel accountable because the more accountable you feel, the less likely you're going to be to let yourself down. And I definitely don't want you letting yourself down. Because when we break promises to ourselves, that's really the ultimate confidence destruction. Right? When we tell ourselves and tell others we're going to do something and we don't do it, Yikes. That's a tough one to overcome. So it's okay to fail. It's okay to, you know, fall short. But we've got to hold our word to ourselves and stay honest and true to ourselves. And when we can do that, doesn't matter what the outcome is. We know that we are living our truth. And that's something you can feel really, really good about. Meet a different guest each week. I know. Entertain confidence creators they say that every

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[B]

I asked you to try to find your passion. Okay? So I'm super proud about the changes I made in my life over the last year and the experiences I went through. And again, not all perfect, by the way. Oh, my gosh. Definitely not all perfect and definitely some of them were super hard. But all experiences that I learned something from, took something from, and I'm choosing today to be grateful for. So I hope you're finding some things to be grateful for in your day. So I, I have a couple of different clients that I coach and one of them, so interesting, she's inexperienced, very similar to the one that I used to be in when I was in corporate America, where she's surrounded by some people who don't always have her back, who aren't always cheering her on, or if they are, it's tongue in cheek. And they're also stabbing her in the back at the same time. And on a call that we had this week, she was explaining to me some of the awful things that were happening at work. P.S. this is real life. If you are in corporate America or you have been, you know, the truth is toxic cultures are out there. They're not everywhere, but they are in a lot of places, a lot of companies. And it's just shocking sometimes to hear how awful some people can be to one another. But one of the things that I wanted to share with her, and I want to share it with you, is I reminded her it's not, number one, it's not about her. Right. When people treat you really badly or do something very, very harmful to you, hurtful, that's about them. That's not about you. It says a lot about them. It says very, very little about you, how you respond to that situation says a lot about you. And I just reminded her that we don't know what that person's going through. And I'm not making excuses for them, but I do think it's important to take a step back, pause, don't react, respond with grace and elegance, even though it's not always easy. Give yourself a little bit of time, go for a run, do something to separate from reacting, which is never the right answer. And when you give yourself that grace, you give yourself that pause, you'll be able to see things in a more clear way. And one of the things I asked her was, what's your ultimate goal from this? Right. And I think that's a great question to ask ourselves, like, what do we ultimately want from this situation? We want to tell this person off and tell them they're wrong.

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Probably not.

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Right? That's probably not that beneficial. Is it that we just wanna be heard? No. We have good people in our lives that if we wanna be heard, we can share with people we trust and love. So then what is it? We wanna rectify the situation so we don't repeat the same situation again? Or do we wanna set boundaries? Right? Like, from a healthy standpoint, what is it that we ultimately wanna achieve? And one of the things I offered to her was maybe it's that you just wanna survive the situation for right now, as best and positively as you can for both parties, knowing that this person is in your rear view mirror. You're not staying working with someone like this. You are moving on because these people don't deserve you. Right? So it's figuring that out first, like, what is your ultimate goal in the situation, what do you ultimately want? And then seeing everything through that lens in regards to what is the strategy we need to implement, what are the next steps we need to take? So definitely get curious about those questions before you react and instead take a moment, pause and respond after you've thought about it, after you've answered them. But it really threw me for a loop hearing her situation this week and remembering that I was in a situation like that all of the time for 14 years. And I endured that way too long. You've got to give yourself an end date, right? So the best goals are smart goals, specifically measurable, attainable, realistic, and timely. And when you think about your goals in that regard, especially your goals for 2023, you've got to give yourself a deadline, right? So it's just a dream unless you're willing to put a deadline on it. And for me, I kept kicking that can down the road when I was at that company for 14 years. Oh, I'm sure it'll get better. Or I'm not going to put up this anymore. I'm sure it'll change. Or, you know, there was. I just. I wouldn't pull the trigger and put that deadline on it. And it was definitely because of fear. I was afraid I didn't know how I would make money. And I got myself so caught up in this circling the drain kind of attitude that if I'm not here, what if I'm not good? Maybe it's because the company that I'm so successful. All these fake fears that weren't real. Talking myself into the devil I know instead of the devil I don't. Well, I'm here to tell you on the other side of it, there was a devil I knew, but the other side of it was not a devil. It was just the unknown. And changing our language is so incredibly powerful. I know I've shared this with you before. I used to always say, I have golden handcuffs. I can't leave. Well, I was speaking that to be a truth to myself. I was holding myself there with these made up golden handcuffs instead of I wish that I had known to say I'm in a really difficult situation because I've been here for a long time and I'm really scared to leave. However, I'm never gonna realize my potential. I'm never gonna realize the other opportunities are out there for me until I take the leap, until I pick my head up outside of this awful situation and start looking for where else I can add value, what other problems I can solve and what other good I can do in the world. Something tells me that's a better solution. So for you in your situation right now, pick your head up. Stop speaking in words and using words that are holding you back. Instead, start empowering yourself with the words that will thrust you forward and try to be as mindful as possible. Right? Being self aware is everything. And I, when I get into a rut, I am not self aware at all. Right? I'll start throwing myself a pity party or get angry at somebody else, right? There's this whole natural bad behavior that I have when things get really challenging. I think I had mentioned to you I had fallen a couple of weeks ago and my doctor said I couldn't work out for a few weeks. Me not being able to work out is like the worst news ever. And of course I understand. Your body needs to heal and we have to, you know, do what's Right. But it's been super trying for me. And I realized one of my biggest ways to overcome stress is to work out. Right? So not having that, I was getting into some bad moods. That is not my typical way to be. And I was really having to do the work to remind myself, okay, get up and go for a walk outside. Drink some water, get more sleep tonight. Right? Do the things that you can control when you're not in control of all the things you really wish you were. Because for me, I really wished I could have been working out every day, and I haven't been able to, but. But instead, see that you're lucky that you're someone who has a future where you will be able to work out, and there are things you can do today instead, you know, so trying to get back to that present moment and realize everything is temporary and embrace that instead of circling the drain and driving yourself crazy like I've been doing the past couple of weeks. Okay. So I hope that that helps you or gives you some insight in some ways that you're not alone. I'm right here with you. I definitely get into the negative moments myself. However, I've learned it's up to each one of us to pull ourselves right back out and not wait for the lifeguard to come throw us a buoy, but instead to find a branch or something else and pull ourselves right out of it. Oh, and that reminds me that, oh, my gosh, a great branch for you to pull yourself out of a rut is my Soul Sayings, my new product. Oh, my gosh, I'm obsessed. I partnered with a good friend of mine who has a really successful shoe company, and we created these amazing sayings for. For the bottom of your shoes so that you set yourself up for success today and every day, especially for the moments when you're feeling down and feeling like you can't pull yourself out, you can remind yourself by looking at the bottom of your shoes and seeing that note that we left you there because we are there with you, pulling you up, and you don't need to do it alone. Soul sayings. Love it. Oh, my gosh. The feedback's been great. Check it out. I will put the link in the show notes below. Okay. So one of the things that's been interesting for me over the last couple years is how often surprises come into my life. That everything else used to be very linear before, when I was in corporate America, I knew the next thing that was gonna happen for the most part.

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Right.

[B]

I knew I could forecast. I Could project, anticipate. Well, my life has not been like that the last few years as I've been on my own, which makes it incredibly scary and incredibly rewarding and exciting and fun and amazing. Right. So there's two sides to any coin. I'm choosing to lean into the exciting, fun and rewarding side. But there are moments where it's scary. This one, not so much. At the beginning of every year, as you know, I set major goals, crazy goals. Like I want to be a New York Times bestseller. I want to be the number one keynote speaker in the world. I mean, I want to have a top 10 business podcast on Apple and Spotify. We're top 25 right now, by the way, which is amazing. And that's all because of you. So thank you so much. But we're still not to top 10 yet, right? So I've got work to grow and things to do to get better. But I set these crazy, ambitious goals, and then sometimes things show up in my life that I didn't set an intention for, I didn't have a plan for, and those are just incredible blessings. And one of those blessings came to fruition this week, which was really amazing. So being in the speaking business, I mean, you can be hired from sports teams to massive corporations to events to charities. I mean, there's so many different people and venues and events that can hire you, and you never know. I mean, on any given day, I could get 10 inquiries to my website or on social media, someone inquiring about hiring me. Well, a few months ago, the Miami Heat reached out to me, and I live in Miami, so that's an ideal client because you don't have to get on a plane and travel and a huge brand and super exciting. And the funny thing was, I've been to the Heat Arena. Used to be American Airlines Arena. Now it's called FTX Arena. I've been there thousands of times because my old job was in the media business, and so we would have concerts there all the time. Of course, I was a huge Heat fan, and I went to. Especially when LeBron was here, I went to every single game. And so it was just so surreal for me having this moment to say, oh, my gosh, this venue I've been to literally thousands of times over the last 20 years. And I love going to. And it's so exciting to go there. I'm going to arrive this week as the talent, as the speaker, not as the audience. And it was such a wild moment going in there. However, because I've been Speaking now, so much so for the last five years. And then prior to that, I spoke for 20 years in corporate America. But you know, on this keynote speaker journey, I felt confident going in, of course, and I was excited about it. But it still was one of these wild, surreal moments to just say, wow, like, what a blessing, what a gift. I feel so blessed. But reminding myself I did the work to get here and this actually wasn't one thing that I had set a specific intention for. It had crossed my mind. I thought that would be incredible. But when the day actually came, it blew me away. It was definitely one of those moments that you don't forget. Meet a different guest each week.

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[B]

Confidence I asked you to try to Passionate so what I wanted to share with you from this moment was a few things I wanted to talk about some of the takeaways that I put together that I help. I hope they're going to help you. I'm not suggesting, you know, you need to speak for the Miami Heat, but what I'm suggesting is maybe you're going to speak up in a PTA meeting or maybe you're giving a presentation at work or maybe you are going to be taking a stage and that's one of your goals for 2023, which if so, yeah, Boo. Yeah, let's do it. Let's go bigger. Let's get this done and put it on your board and your target list. There isn't anything that's too big for you. You can push yourself to go bigger and push yourself to step into the fear and build the momentum and you will get there. And I know that firsthand. Okay, so I came up with this list of my top tips for taking a big stage or making a presentation or making an ask for anything. Right? But I hope these tips will help you. And I get a lot of questions about how to prep for speeches. So here's a few thoughts. It really works for me. It helps me and I think it'll help you. Okay. Number one, there's a fine line between fear and excitement. This one's huge. Keep repeating to yourself, I'm excited, I'm excited, I'm excited. Right? So that's true. When you get nervous energy in your body, if you start saying, oh my Gosh, I'm scared. Oh, my gosh. What if I blow it? I'm so nervous. You're just reinforcing that thought and that energy in you. Epic fail. I make myself instead. Number one. I jump up and down. I usually hit my playlist for my life, my songs that I only listen to, and I'm going to do something big to prime my mind, to create success for myself. And then I start saying, I'm excited. I'm so excited. Right? I really get into this mode of being super excited. And I also visualize that I'm going to help somebody. I'm going to impart knowledge that could potentially impact someone in a really positive way, and that overflows my heart with joy.

[A]

Right?

[B]

I stopped making it about myself. I start making it about them. I start leaning into excitement and leaning away from fear, and it usually pushes me right through that initial fear or nervous vibe that I might have going into something really, really big. So get excited, okay? That's number one. Two, always lead with a personal story. You want to draw your audience in

[A]

and engage with them immediately.

[B]

A personal story creates a connection. I opened my story at the Heat with the fact that I had gotten a black eye from falling down. And let me tell you something, I had that audience at the word go. People were on the edge of their seat dying to know what had happened. Right? So you don't have to tell a story I would tell, but tell a story that's real to you. Right? Tell or share a story that's meaningful and real in your life. Because the more authentic and real it is, the more you're gonna captivate others and pull them in, knowing they're hearing your truth. Always lead with a personal story. Establishes trust and credibility really quickly. Okay. Three, getting your energy to the highest level you can before you enter the venue is critical. Use your playlist. That was the one I mentioned, to fire you up. Jump up and down. Fire your villains the day before. Remove anyone negative from your life. You have no time for negativity. You don't have time for anyone bringing you down. When it's your job to elevate others.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

And fire the bad guys. Okay? Number four, make it about them. When you stop thinking about you and make it about the possible impact you can have on the audience, all of your pressure will disappear. That is a critical element in successful speaking, is to stop saying, what if they think about what I've been wearing? What if I fall down? What if I mess up instead? What if I impact one person there and change their life. And how can you not smile? How can you not feel overjoyed? And how can you not go, Leave it all out there and go for it. It's incredible. And then use those past success stories and testimonials you get from people as future proof. This one's going to go great, too. Okay. Five, Acknowledge three other times in your career when you stepped into something or went for something big and it went well, even though you were nervous. You can use that as your past proof that this event is going to go well, too. This is huge. I do this all of the time. Remind yourself of other times you were nervous and you made it through alive. You will make it through alive in this one, too. 6. Visualize huge. Take the time leading up to your event to visualize the outcome you're creating. I will never forget with my TED Talk. I watched the top and biggest TED talks for months, every night before giving mine. And I visualize myself in their shoes, in those red circles. I could see it as if it was real. Take the time, do the work. Visualize yourself killing it. And you will. It's just going to. I'm telling you, it's going to set you up for so much more success. And you can use visualization for anything. It doesn't just have to be for a talk. Right? It's an intention that you have. Just visualize it actually coming to fruition. I'm flying to New York tomorrow. I'm going to visualize my trip going incredible with tons of smiles and positive energy and good and, you know, miraculous events and miracles happening. Let's go see what's about to happen in New York. I can promise you this, it's going to be really good. Okay? Number seven, be your biggest cheerleader. You hear your voice and your words more than anyone else. Make sure those words are supportive and uplifting for you. I always have my soul sayings on to lift me up. Check them out. Okay. The soul sayings are the best. I love them. But, you know, pause when you hear yourself beating yourself up and remind yourself, how's that working out for me? Does that help me? No. Well, let's change that. Let's change that narrative. And let's speak to ourselves the way we would to a child or someone we love or someone we really care about. And over time, that will become second nature for you. Oh, number eight. Such a good one. Turn to preachers. This Sunday, when you head to church, look to your pastor for inspiration. I look to my pastor each week and he Gives me amazing ideas that I can reinvent and incorporate into my speeches. Look outside of you for inspiration and ideas. Too often people want to reinvent the wheel, right? And so, oh, I've got to do a whole new innovative way. Well, so much of innovation comes from seeing what works with others outside of your industry, outside of your circle, and then picking up on the things that actually complement you, that could work for you and incorporating those. A great example of that is the corset for women came out hundreds of years ago, right? And for a long time, people wore this. Women wore this really uncomfortable corset that was supposed to cinch them in at the waist. Well, then Sarah Blakely invented Spanx. She reinvented the concept of a corset into something more comfortable that still had a positive impact on how women looked in clothes.

[A]

Then a few years later, Kim Kardashian

[B]

came out with skims. She reinvented Spanx with new marketing into something called skims. So those two women I just gave examples for. Sarah Blakely and Kim Kardashian, both billionaires, Right? So you don't have to come up with a bold, brand new idea that no one's ever heard of or thought of before. Sometimes you just have to reimagine what's already working out there through the lens of you, your experience, your marketing, your innovation, and watch how that can take off. Number nine, Ask for what you want. If you want the Q and A segment to be engaging and fun, ask the audience to bring you some fire questions. Then reward the behavior you're asking for. I had told the audience I would autograph three books for the top three questions. Once we got to Q and A, we never actually got through all of the Q and A because there were so many questions, we ran out of time.

[A]

Ask for what you want.

[B]

Reward the behavior you're asking for. Number 10, be the real you, Flaws and all. People want to connect and relate to someone, not feel isolated or separate. Be sure to speak with inclusion and approach the audience as one of them. We are all in this together. That is so incredibly true. And I'm sure that I didn't give you every idea in the world for speeches or presentations, but these are some good starting points. Another one that I love is go to the venue ahead of time. Go to the office that you're going to be speaking in. See yourself in that room. You know, take the extra time to get yourself ready so that you feel your best. If running in the morning makes you feel stronger, more confident, go do that if meditating, go do that, right? Set yourself up, see the day ahead and say, what are some of the things that I can do to remove some obstacles for my day so that I feel better and more confident and I can move into it with ease? Don't stress yourself out. Don't try to jam pack too many things in. When you have a really important day or an event, try to create a lot of space for it. I've gotten much better at that as I've gotten older. I used to try to act like it was just a regular day, even though I might have something huge going on. And then I'd be so stressed out trying to take care of everything these days. And my son knows it. If I have a huge speech coming up, I let him know, dude, stay off my radar from, you know, wake up time until I get home from my event. After that, I am all yours. I'm back at the mom biz. But until X time, I've got to prep for this. I've got to get in my right mental state. I've got to set myself up for success now. Will so appreciate your help. Please help me to get this done. So ask for what you need. Set those boundaries, Give yourself the space and grace and put yourself first. Another thing I wanted to mention is the importance of investing in yourself, right? So often people think, oh, I'll invest in myself with a personal trainer for working out, or I'll invest in myself. I'm going to take a class in accounting so I can get better at my accounting. But there's a way to invest in yourself in everything, right? When I gave my TED Talk, I hired a speaker coach. Now, mind you, at that point in time, I've been Speaking for over 25 years in public venues, huge venues I had spoken for back then. You know, huge audience of 20,000 plus, right? So I had taken massive stages already back then, but I didn't care. I wanted to go to that next level. I wanted to get better. And I knew if I was willing to spend money and spend time investing in someone who does this for a living, I'm going to find a way to get better. And my coach, my speaker coach that I hired for my TED Talk was incredible, gave me such great tips and helped me so much. So invest in you. You're worth it. You deserve it. Your goals for 2023 deserve it. And I want you to see them come to fruition. And something tells me you will. Okay? Until next week, keep creating your confidence. Get that list done for 2023 know that I am here cheering you on. And if you need an accountability partner, go to heathermonahan.com and get my free 30 day email program. I got you. And if you need extra push, download Confidence Creator and Overcome youe Villains on Audible now.

[A]

The reviews are incredible.

[B]

And when you commit to yourself putting me in the car with you on Audible every day, you know we are getting this done. Until next week, keep creating your confidence. You know I will be. I decided to to change that dynamic. I couldn't be more excited for what you're going to hear. Start learning and growing. Inevitably something will happen. No one succeeds alone. You don't stop and look around once in a while. You could miss it. Come on this journey with me.