← Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The One TRUTH to Elevate Your Mind, Unlock Your Power, & Heal Your Soul with Jon Gordon 15x Best Selling Author & Thought Leader
00:57:21
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- [00:00]
John Gordon
It's our state of mind. You understand this that is a game changer because in one moment you have a high state, you're fine, the circumstance happens and you rise above it. When you're in a low state, same circumstance happens and you don't handle it well and you wind up fighting. Key is to understand high state of mind, low state of mind and understand it's never the circumstance, it's our state of mind that moment. So just understanding this allows you to move forward in a more positive way. And the key is you're on that roller coaster and you're going down the roller coaster in a low state. And so often you want to jump off, stay on the roller coaster and then what happens is you ride it right back up and you'll experience a high state of mind and more success as a result.
- [00:41]
Heather Monahan
Come on this journey with me each.
- [00:43]
Unknown Guest
Week when you join me, we are going to chase down our goals, overcome adversity and set you up for a better tomorrow.
- [00:51]
John Gordon
I'm ready for my close up.
- [00:53]
Unknown Guest
Tell me, have you been enjoying these new bonus Confidence classics episodes we've been dropping on you every week? We've literally hundreds of episodes for you to listen to. So these bonuses are a great way to help you find the ones you may have already missed. I hope you love this one as.
- [01:09]
Heather Monahan
Much as I do.
- [01:10]
Unknown Guest
Meet a different guest each week.
- [01:16]
Heather Monahan
I'm so excited for you to hear my guest this week. It's John Gordon. He is the best selling author which, I mean he's literally inspired millions, sold millions, worked for Fortune 500 companies, speaks for professional athletes, college teams, professional teams, I mean, so many. 14 bestsellers, five children's books. His books include the timeless classic the Energy Bust, which is alone has sold over 2 million copies. The Carpenter, which was a top five business book of the year, Training Camp, the Power of Positive Leadership, the the Power of a Positive Team, The Coffee Beans. Stay positive. The Garden. I'm feeling positive just talking about this. This guy is everywhere. He's done everything and of course today he's here with us. John, thank you so much for being here.
- [01:59]
John Gordon
Heather, it's great to be with you and thanks for having me and agreeing to let me talk about this new book. The one truth that I really appreciate you having me on.
- [02:07]
Heather Monahan
Well, I'll tell you, and I want everyone to know this. Number one, I read a ton of books, but I'll tell you the Garden. We're not talking about the Garden today. But, but the Garden, I actually listened to it on audible. I didn't read the hardcover because I toggle back and forth. I love that book. It was game changing for me. And then my son read your book, the Coffee Bean, which to get a 16 year old boy to read a book and then actually walk away from it and say, here's what I took from it, here's how I can apply it to my life was. I mean, that's life changing. So people need to know about your books and I want to bring your messaging to life. So thank you for being here and sharing it.
- [02:45]
John Gordon
I appreciate that. And the Garden really was sort of the precursor to this new book because without the Garden, there would be no One Truth book that I, that I wrote. And even Coffee Bean, there are elements of the Coffee Bean that are also in the One Truth, as you probably saw. Like we create from the inside out and the power is on the inside. And the garden, the five Ds from the garden are actually in the One Truth in terms of what divides us, what separates us and understanding how these negative thoughts always separate us and divide us and how we have to overcome that to win the battle of our mind. So I'm so glad that the Garden impacted you. And I wrote that, you know, wanting to help people that were dealing with fear, stress and anxiety. And I feel like this is like the next level up. Like it was the Garden and then this is the next level up. Garden is a fable. This one's more of a how to book. And then I'm going to write probably one more book that sort of brings the One Truth message from a fable standpoint and tells that story to a fable. I've had this idea for years to write this book, but I haven't been able to write it. And now I know why. I had to write the One Truth first and then I'll write that next fable.
- [03:50]
Heather Monahan
So was this inspired thought that came to you to write the One Truth?
- [03:54]
John Gordon
Oh, totally. Like, it was inspired by the idea that, you know, there's oneness and there's separateness and everything comes down to that. So when you feel one, you feel connected, you feel love, you feel power, joy, peace. A team that is united and connected is a powerful team. And then we have separateness. A team that feels divided, disconnected, there's a lot of jealousy, there's egos, they have bitterness. That becomes a very weak team. And so individually, when you feel separate, you actually feel weak. When you feel one, you feel powerful. And once you see the world through this lens, everything makes so much more sense. And then really from there you can actually become a Jedi in this world. I was just talking to a Major League baseball manager just now for an hour, sharing this with him. And as I'm sharing, he goes, God's amazing. He's like, you're sharing it at the individual level, the psychological level. You're sharing it at the team level. You share at the organizational level. It applies to relationships like you and your son. When you. When you're feeling connected and you're on the same page, you're powerful. When you're arguing and not connected, man, it doesn't feel like you'd want to be together. And there's a lot of powerless feeling. You know, having been a parent with my kids, we're on the same page and connected. It's awesome. When we're disconnected, it really stinks. And so these were inspired thoughts that were coming to me all last summer. And I had the understanding of high state of mind, low state of mind, which is the first part of the book of the book. There's actually three books in one, as you know, because you read it, and thank you for reading it. There's book one, book two, book three, but it's all in one book. So you could really say section one. But in book one, it's high state of mind, low state of mind. This is the teaching that I shared all last summer with all the pro teams and college teams I was working with, sharing this teaching. I didn't write the book yet, but I was teaching it. High state of mind, low state of mind. Good friend of mine Garrett Kramer taught me that, so I want to give him credit for that. But then I started to see how high state of mind and low state of mind had a lot to do with oneness and separateness. When you're one, you have a high state of mind, and you're separate, you have a low state. I also started to realize how from the Garden, the negative thoughts cause you to have a low state and bring you down. Think about negative thoughts, think about fear. Dividing. The root for the Greek word for anxious means to separate and divide. And so when you feel anxious, you feel separate, you feel divided, you feel weak, you feel powerless. So when I wrote the Garden, that was really a good understanding of how thoughts separate you. So I understood that then it started to become clear. Each day I'm walking Heather, and, like, I'm getting these ideas and insights that are coming to me, and I'm going, oh, my God. Like, everything can be explained like this. Let's integrity. I know you're big on integrity. And that's a big word from a leadership perspective. It's essential for teamwork. We did a podcast on that with. With myself and my co author Alex, who we wrote the Sale, which is all about integrity. It comes from the word integer, which means whole and complete. So a leader with integrity has wholeness and completeness. They have oneness. There's no gaps in their character. There's no gaps between who they are and what they say and what they do. There's alignment, and that's integrity. So there's a lot of power in integrity. But there's a lot of weakness with a leader who has a big ego. You know any leaders with big egos out there? Heather, I know you. You probably know a ton and we know it. Gosh.
- [07:20]
Heather Monahan
I.
- [07:20]
John Gordon
You know what?
- [07:21]
Heather Monahan
In your book, you. You talk about narcissistic leaders.
- [07:25]
John Gordon
Yes.
- [07:25]
Heather Monahan
And what's interesting is sometimes, and for anyone listening right now, and I'm interested to have you get into narcissism a little bit. So many of us know narcissistic people but don't have that label for it or aren't sure exactly what that means. I worked for a narcissistic leader for a while, and what's interesting is reading the book, the one truth, I realized she was separating everyone from her. The more she would show up in a controlling fashion, in a I'm perfect fashion. Everybody else must be perfect around me. You must do as I say, not as I do. There was this division, lack of clarity in my mind as a leader, and I was working for her. Had been very confident and very successful in business for years. But as I worked with her, I started becoming a less confident. I was unclear. I was developing anxiety. I was feeling confused. A lot of things that you cover in the book, and you really make it very clear that we are not operating as one in that moment, that we are not operating from love, but really from this place of fear. So I'd love for you to talk a little bit about narcissistic leaders.
- [08:35]
John Gordon
The cool thing is as you're. As you're talking about this, it's like you read it and then right away you were able to actually come up with examples and think about leaders. Examples from your own experience and knowing your past, knowing your experience, who your leader was. Definitely narcissistic. Definitely someone who was separate and then made you feel separate. So that's what I love about this book. As people read it, they're going to be like a Jedi, where they're going to be able to like see the world through a lens that actually makes so much more sense. And they're gonna be able to understand the world, understand situations, understand people. They're gonna have clarity. It's gonna help them navigate what to do in those situations or what the other person's doing and why they're doing it. And this will give you a clear sense and also have so much more power in doing it. So that's what I love about, I loved about writing it. I love when people are reading it and getting that. Catherine, the other day we were meeting with a, with a, with a college coach, and the college coach was talking and Catherine had read the manuscript to help me out a little bit, to give me. And she goes, oh, that's because you're looking outside instead of inside. She started giving some of the teachings to the college coach over dinner of what she read. I go, oh, you read the book? She goes, oh, yeah. It's so clear. I'm like, yes, once you see it, it's so clear. And once you have that clarity, everything makes so much more sense. And so you're a narcissistic leader. A narcissist actually feels separate. And because they feel separate, they act alone. They go into self preservation mode because they don't feel like they're part of anybody or any bigger connection. And so they don't care about anyone else because they feel separate. They only care about themselves. And that's what makes them a narcissist. And they wind up separating themselves from others and making people feel less than as a result of that. But here's what's cool I wrote about in the book, as you know, at the neurological level, narcissists, because of their trauma, their painful experiences, what they've gone through, which makes them a narcissist. There's actually a, a part of the brain where they cut off certain parts of the brain from others and they create separation even at the neurological level. So the physical manifestation, the neurological manifestation is a result of the separateness that they actually feel. And because they feel powerless, they now have to have this sense of power. But it's actually very weak power. It seems powerful. It arises so it seems powerful, but it's actually very weak because it's connected to self. It's like that barking dog that seems powerful, that's not powerful at all. So it seems like it is, but it's not connected to self. Instead, real power is connected to oneness, a greater power connected to others, community connected spiritually to God. We are meant to be connected to our creator. But the narcissist doesn't feel connected to a God or anything. That's why the narcissist believes he or she is God or has to be God, because they actually don't feel connected to a greater power as a result of that. Same thing with ego. You know, ego is the result of feeling separate. And because you feel separate, the ego arises to give you a sense of power, and the same thing happens. Now, here's what's wild about narcissists. They also suffer most, in most cases, from depression and all the symptoms of people who have mental health disorders. And so when someone has depression or bipolar, they have issues where they feel disconnected, alone and isolated, and they get depressed. And most narcissists actually suffer from the same symptoms, which proves my theory. When you go from oneness to separateness, you go from positive to negative. And as you move from positive to negative, you experience more negative thoughts and more feelings of aloneness and isolation and disconnection. It's amazing if that person could be vulnerable, could share what they're going through to be made feel like they're part of something greater, something bigger. If they can find healing and wholeness, which is what the book's all about, they would be completely different. They would act different, and they would respond to the world in a different way, and they would actually get people to want to work with them, and they wouldn't be such a jerk to people who are working for them.
- [12:35]
Heather Monahan
Well, and I hope for everyone listening, notice how you feel around other people, because there are. There are certain people that when you're around. I don't know why I didn't stop back then and notice. Wow, I don't feel so good about myself. Wow, what's changed here? You know, and to your point, granted, we should always be looking within, but when I would have looked within, I would have said, I'm not doing so well right now. I'm feeling isolated regardless. Yes, I was around the wrong people in the wrong environment. But first you have to notice how you're feeling before you pick your head up and say, I need to get out of here. All right, I had another Jedi moment that I want you to get into because it was super interesting to me, this idea of oneness and wholeness around teams versus separate individuals, just from a timing standpoint. I read it during the Eastern Conference playoffs. I happen to be obviously a huge Miami Heat fan. However, I'm from Boston originally, but I've lived in Miami 20 years, so I'm now team Miami Heat. During the playoffs, there was this one game. I mean, obviously, there are so many games that we can talk about. They were incredible. The Celtics were favored, I don't know, eight to one over Miami Heat. And there's been so much commentary around them having, you know, all the players drafted. Miami Heat didn't have drafted players. We were seeded eight. They were first or second. Bottom line is this. The Miami Heat beat the Celtics. Obviously, we all know that now, but when I look back, it was one of these moments when I'm reading the book that hit me. And this is. I'm so interested in your perspective on it because I know that you are a huge NBA fan. You know, Jimmy Butler is a beast, obviously, but watching him with his team, the Miami Heat, and how much he passes and how focused he is on the other players and encouraging everybody else. And in the, you know, after the game, when he's being interviewed, speaking everything about the other players. Conversely, the Celtics, who, again, every. Everyone will tell you, better players, right? They should have won. People will say that time and time again, they lost. And when you watch their star player, he turned his ankle. All of a sudden, everything started to fall apart. And it was so shocking to see. It wasn't just that game, but for me, that game is what hit me. When I was reading your book. Am I hitting it the right way, do you think?
- [14:45]
John Gordon
Oh, you nailed it. I mean, watching the interviews, it was. I failed, and I didn't live up to what I was capable of. I was injured, and, man, it was so frustrating. It wasn't a team rallying around each other and saying, hey, let's do this together. The Miami clearly had cohesiveness. They had togetherness. They had unity. They had oneness, and that's why they had power. And I talk about that a lot in the book. Like, a team that is one and connected will outperform a team with more talent. That is not connected. That is not one. That's why all my books over the years, power of a Positive Team. You win in the locker room, first I look back. Now I go, oh, that's why they worked. That's why teams who read them actually won championships because they became more connected, which then leads to more oneness, which leads to more commitment, leads to more love, which leads to let's performing at a higher level together. So everything you're saying is so true, and Jimmy's that kind of guy, but it also also starts with Pat Riley, and it starts with Eric Spoelster. I'll never forget years ago, Eric reached out to me and said, john, come work with our staff. Come speak to our staff. Because we want to be a stronger staff together, be more united, more connected, more committed together so we can better serve our players. I just love that he wanted to be stronger as a leadership team because a team that's not connected at the top will crumble at the bottom. We want to be a stronger leadership team so we can better serve our players. What a mindset. And now you have guys like Jimmy who become part of that culture. So that culture that you create determines the behaviors, the values, the habits, and the essence of what you're living every day as a team or as an organization. And now you find people that fit that culture, Jimmy does, their players do. And then they start working together, and you see guys who aren't drafted but then rise up to perform at a higher level, guys who pick each other up when they're not playing well, supporting each other. And it's like poetry. It's like magic. It's like watching a flock of seagulls or a flock of birds flying together. And you start to see this. This motion happening, and it really is beautiful. It's like the warriors, when they were playing at their best together, they were like that. You see with teams talking to the baseball manager today, like, we have a group of guys that are all moving in the right direction. They're all supporting each other. We don't have anybody who's sabotaging our team. One person can't make a team, but one person could break a team. So you get that one person who is actually creating disconnection. That one person could actually sabotage a team. So, yeah, I love that you saw that. And I'm a huge Heat fan as well. Having worked with the organization and knowing how they do things and knowing that it's always about the oneness they create. Working with Clemson football and Dabo Sweeney, he read the book and he said, you know, that's my mission as a coach, is to create oneness of mission, oneness of purpose, oneness of execution, and getting the team to be one team who is working together. I love that.
- [17:41]
Unknown Guest
Meet a different guest each week.
- [17:48]
Heather Monahan
Ready.
- [17:48]
Unknown Guest
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- [20:07]
Heather Monahan
To try to find your passion. Well, I saw some footage last night so interesting that you just brought this up. I'm proud of Eric Sports. If you don't know, he's the coach of the Miami Heat. I'm proud that you said he reached out to you and wanted help in regards to unifying his team so that they could lead and serve the players because the footage I watched was from a couple of years ago last night and they were highlighting Eric and Jimmy Butler on the court literally. So the one of the best players in the Miami Heat and the coach screaming at each other so much so other players were having to pull them Apart. It looked crazy to me because I guess I missed that game where I forgot that they were. They weren't always close. So what were the things that you did when you went in there to help them change culture and create cohesiveness and oneness?
- [20:55]
John Gordon
Well, I remember that. And that was actually part of their culture and who they are. They're going to have confrontations at time, but that doesn't mean they weren't connected as a team. Here's the deal. When you have a low state of mind in that moment, and you're a coach and your player has a low state of mind, and you both have low states of mind together, that's never a good thing. It usually reaches and leads to a fight. When you're in a low state of mind as a parent and your son's in a low state of mind, how does that go? It doesn't go so well. Right. But if you're in a high state and he's having a meltdown, you're like, hey, I got this. Let's go. Let's figure this out. But when he's in a low state and you're in a low state, you're both crying. And so. And I'm speaking from experience because I've been there with my kids. Right. No, this.
- [21:38]
Heather Monahan
I. This just hit me. He had a horrible day a couple of weeks ago. Finals, lack of sleep, everything. He came in crying. I haven't seen him crying in years. And I just dropped everything. I was in a fine mood, everything. And I was like, let's come here. Let me hug you. I love you. Let's talk about what's happening. I knew I could handle it. Cut to yesterday. I was super stressed out. I was running late for meetings, and it was just. I was not running at my best. And I snapped at him so hard. He looked at me, said, I'm going to go to the gym right now and I'll see you when I get back. And I thought to myself, when he did that, wow. To your point, he was in a better state of mind where I was in a low one. And he was able to remove himself from the situation, and it all worked.
- [22:18]
John Gordon
So think about that. You're in a low state, he was in a low state, and it didn't go well. But it's never the circumstance. It's our state of mind. And that's a big part of the book. When you understand this, that is a game changer. Because in one moment, you have a high state, you're fine. The circumstance happens. And you rise above it. When you're in a low state, same circumstance happens and you don't handle it well and you wind up fighting. So this happens all the time. And the key is to understand high state of mind, low state of mind, and understand it's never the circumstance, it's our state of mind, that moment. So when Eric and Jimmy were going at it, they were just both in a low state at that time. It didn't mean anything was really wrong. They had a little bit of an outburst, I'm sure they got together. You have an honest conversation, you have a transparent conversation, you have a meaningful conversation, and then from there you find greater connection and then you walk away. As one team, I had a coach and a Super bowl, incredible player, quarterback, right? Struggling during the year a little bit, got together, had a heart to heart about their fears, the expectations, what the world was looking for, what the world was expecting, fear of not meeting those expectations, got together, talked it out. From that moment on, they were now one team working together. And then they wind up doing amazing things, win a Super bowl as a coach and as a, as a quarterback. So that's the power of those kind of moments, of, of coming together after maybe a fight. But I think what happens so often is you have a bad moment, you have a bad game, you have a bad sales call. What happens with a bad sales call? Okay, you have one bad sales call, you're in a low state of mind, it doesn't go well. You get rejected if you're in a low state now you start going, what's wrong with me? What's happening here? Oh, man, my future is gone. I'm going to lose all this business. I'm not going to reach my targets, I'm not going to reach my goals. And all of a sudden you get lower and lower in your state of mind because you have more clutter, more thought, more revved up thinking, which lowers your state of mind and causes separation. Now let's look at a mind that has a lot of clarity. Let's look at a mind that is a high state of mind. There's less thought, there's less clutter, there's more focus, there's more positivity. I always draw two circles for people. And I do this in the book. Three circles, a thousand dots in one circle, A circle with three dots in the other, which mine will perform at a higher level. The one with the three dots, not the thousand. So that salesperson who made the call and it didn't go well, who's Rejected now has a thousand dots and they're reeling and they think something's wrong. So now they move into a slump. More fear, more insecurity. The person who that has, that has that happen when they're in a high state and something happens where they get rejected, like, ah, whatever, I'll make the next sale, let's go. Because they're in a high state and they move forward. So it wasn't the rejection, it was their state of mind. So just understanding this allows you to move forward in a more positive way. And the key is you're on that roller coaster and you're going down the roller coaster in a low state. And so often you want to jump off and you want to escape when it's not going well or you have revved up thinking and that makes you want to jump off even more. He is no, just realize what's happening. We just got to a fight. Not a big deal. The sales call didn't go well. Okay, what can I learn from it? The next one will go great. Stay on the roller coaster. And then what happens is you ride it right back up and you'll experience a high state of mind and more success as a result. It's like the baseball Battery goes over 4, 0 for 3 and 0 for 4. Now they're thinking a lot. Now they have revved up thinking, as I wrote about in the book, and now they think something's wrong, something's broken. Now they're in a slump and it leads to worse and worse in terms of their performance. Same thing with that teenager who has a lot of negative thoughts coming in. All of a sudden they have all these negative thoughts. They think something's wrong with them, something's broken. And as they learn in the book, there's nothing wrong with them. There's nothing that's broken. They're just in a low state. They have a lot of thoughts. The key is to understand what's going on, to get yourself to a higher state. And the more you do this and understand this, then you're able to overcome it a whole lot faster. And Heather, someone who you have a teenager, I have kids, are now 23 and 25, and my son struggled over the years and so did I in the past with depression. Anxiety. Like, this is a must read for people who have kids who are struggling because all these kids are having these same experiences and they think something's wrong with them and this is going to help them realize nothing is wrong. And having worked with a bunch of kids who are depressed and Even suicidal. I shared this with them all these kids have literally have, literally after just even one teaching, have transformed and turned around like a 180 immediately, which has been really powerful to see.
- [26:58]
Heather Monahan
So you talk a lot in the book about science behind oneness, meaning in a relationship, whether it be romantic or otherwise, when two people come together, that that is the ideal time to heal. Two hearts become one. And you talk about this research which I think is so interesting, makes all the sense in the world. I for myself thought about when I first gave birth, like one of the biggest moments of. But all I want to do is become a better person and like, how can I, you know, I want to, I want to be better and like I'm so connected to this human being. It's such an incredible healing feeling. But one of the things that I wonder, John, from this teaching, which I do completely agree with, but I feel like could be confusing. I know so many people in bad relationships out there in the world, right? Like we all do, right? So how, how does someone decipher for people listening? When you're in a bad relationship and you're just saying because you're, you're thinking, oh, I'm supposed to be in a relationship to heal it. God wants me in a relationship and I shouldn't be alone. One is together. Relationship together versus saying, wait a minute, I need to take care of myself and my well being and it's okay to be on my own for a while until I can find a situation that is more healing.
- [28:11]
John Gordon
When two people are connected and they're having a conversation, a medium of conversation, and there's a oneness there, what happens is research shows from heart math, there's actually a synchronization of the hearts. They actually start to synchronize together and two hearts become one. When there's a loving relationship, that's happening as well. There's a oneness that, that flows that you feel when you feel connected to that person. So I would say relational psychology says that we heal in a loving relationship. So we heal in a loving relationship. But if that relationship is not loving, if that relationship is draining and that relationship is hurting you, if that relationship is sabotaging you, guess what, you can't heal in that relationship. And then you shouldn't be in that relationship. So I would say to people, if this relationship is helping you heal, if you're able to grow in this relationship and sometimes fights along the way are going to be part of that growth process. So we might have a fight today, but overall we're moving towards growth. We're talking about our issues, we're working through our issues. We're. We're trying to get better individually and collectively, and we want to make this work. And we're not the black hole that's sucking up all the energy, and we're not the narcissist that's, that's making the other person feel less than while we try to make ourselves feel better. If there's a give and take, then you stay in that relationship, of course. And the goal is oneness. The thing is, as you said, we're trying to always see connection. We are designed for oneness. As a result of that, we will often then stay in an unhealthy relationship because we're designed for oneness. Just like in work, if you have a work environment that, that might be some positive but some negative, and you don't feel connected to the company, you then might start sharing and being negative with other people who are negative, and you find your little negative tribe because you're looking to connect. But now you have a group of negative people that are still going to connect, but it's done in an unhealthy way. So are we creating health? We are creating dysfunction? Are we growing and healing? Or is the wound getting deeper and greater in the relationship? I do believe that in relationships, you know, we all have wounds. And you're meant to be in a relationship with someone where you have your wounds and you come together and the goal is to heal your wounds together. And that's not easy. That's why relationships are so hard, because we all have wounds and we all have separation because of the wound. What is a wound but a separation of skin in the soul? There's a wound of the soul, there's a separation. And the whole point of relationships is to heal the hole in our soul and become whole and become one. And it's that relationship spiritually also with God that we have this hole in our soul. And we're meant to connect with our creator so that God can heal us, so we can become one. Then there might be people that say, okay, John, you know this God thing, I was thinking about this a lot. How do I explain this to people? Well, in relational psychology, we know that, okay, you heal in a loving relationship. Can you heal with a stranger? No, you can't hear what the stranger has to be a loving relationship. Well, if your higher power is a stranger, then you can't heal in that relationship. That higher power has to be a personal God. It has to Be a God of love, a God of forgiveness, a God that loves you, and you are here to receive that love. That's where real healing takes place. And so I think it's great to believe in a higher power that moves you in the right direction, away from separateness. It's why addiction programs are powerful, because they believe in higher power. A higher power. But as you move from that separateness towards oneness, through community, which is a big part of addiction programs too, and then you move towards that higher power, great. But then real healing takes place in the loving relationship between you and the higher power that actually is a God of love and here to love you. And we're here to receive that love. We do. That's when we start to really heal. And I'm someone who needed love and forgiveness and had a lot of wounds. And I know personally this is what happened to me. I needed healing, and once I did, my life changed and I found more wholeness. And that's allowed me to do this work. And it's why I want to help other people become whole. It's not about religion. God is not about religion. I'm a follower of Jesus. Jesus was not about religion. Jesus is all about healing and wholeness. If you actually study what he taught and what he came for. And so for me, that changed my life, receiving that for the first time when I was 35 years old, a little older, and that changed everything for me.
- [32:43]
Heather Monahan
It's so powerful and it's so good and it's very relatable. And I. I want everyone to hear this quote that I took from John's book. Really? I was a student of psychology all through college and, and have studied a lot of science, interviewed a lot of scientists. And I just think that this is so powerful because I've really been having the same epiphany lately. And I was so glad that you articulated it. When science, psychology, the scriptures and reality point to the same thing, it can't be refuted. You know, it's the truth and it's so powerful to see. In this book, you're pulling together research, you're pulling together real life, business examples, sports examples, scripture relation, your own personal. It seems undeniable when you connect these dots because they're ultimately all saying the same things.
- [33:29]
John Gordon
Totally. And I wrote book one and book two. Book one is the higher state of mind, most state of mind. Book two, within this one truth book, is all about examples of oneness and separateness, real life examples. And then book three, which is basically section three of this book is all about the solution to the separation and how do we heal the hole in our soul, how do we implement the solution so we don't feel so separate, so we can actually find healing. And looking at science, looking at neuroscience, looking at the brain being an antenna, tuning into the positive versus negative. Fear and love, the two dominant forces. Fear divides, love unites. Looking at the scriptures, as I did, and the wildest thing about this, Heather, is when I wrote this, I didn't know a lot of the scriptures. You know, I'm a person of faith, but there's a lot I still need to. To learn. There's a lot of growing I'm doing in my faith. So as I was writing this book, I was getting these ideas and these downloads, and then when I would share with people, and I met with a few theologians that were actually, you know, matching my ideas to scriptures by basically my conversation with them, going, hey, I'm thinking about this. What do you think about this? Oh, yeah, John is right here. Says here, like, no way. Oh, yeah, it's also here, and it's also him, like, whoa. So what I realized was that the truth doesn't need, for instance, the Bible to exist. The truth exists without the Bible. The truth is the truth. The Bible just explains the truth that we already know. And you'll find it actually, if you really do look, you actually find it right there. So I bring up all these different truths that I found that I was thinking about, like, take every thought captive that's in the Bible. Well, guess what? If we don't take our thoughts captive, they will take us captive. The renewing of our mind is a big part I share there. Oh, that makes so much sense. We have to renew our mind, which is our soul and our mind and our soul. The more we renew it, that's what leads to healing. And so talking about that, because everyone has patterns of dysfunctions of their past and wounds that need to be healed. So you might find a Christian that's been saved and they've given their life to Jesus, and at the same time, they're living a miserable life and they're depressed, and they're also, you know, really struggling with all sorts of things. So why would that be? Because even though they've been saved in their spirit, their soul still needs renewing and their mind still needs renewing, and they got to change their thinking and the patterns of their past have not been healed. And that's what I explained also a little bit towards the end of the book, explaining how we really need to find healing. So I really thought of every possible way. But meeting with these people and then and talking to them and finding out that it was there blew me away. And especially even, like I share in the book, the Old Testament story of Adam and Eve, that's not a Christian story. That's an ancient Jewish story about two frequencies, positive and negative, about separation. Think about it. It's a story of separation because they ate of the fruit of the tree. They were separated from God and each other. That's an ancient Jewish story, a story about separation. And then what am I sharing? Oh, the problem is separation. And let me share the answer, which is the solution to the separation and coming back to oneness. And it's like, whoa, it's there. It's also there in the Cherokee story of the two wolves, you know, two wolves, positive and negative. That's an ancient Native American story. And yet it represents the truth of two frequencies, positive or negative, and the same things. You'll find the scriptures, that it's a battle between good and evil, two frequencies, positive and negative. There's a power that wants to love you and unite you. There's a force trying to divide you and separate you and weaken you. Which will you choose? And we have that choice again woven into psychology, pop culture, into ancient teachings, and into our own experience. Because we all know what it feels like when we feel separate. We all know there are moments where we feel empty and we have that hole in our soul, and we know we need healing, and we don't know where to look, we don't know where to find it. We try to do everything possible to heal that, and yet we still struggle, we still feel down. And when you find the answer, you got to share the answer. And I really believe that I have found the answer, received it, and it's my job to get it out there and share it to as many people as possible to help people heal. Not to convince them of anything, but to help them understand the truth so they can actually live it for everyone listening.
- [37:51]
Heather Monahan
This is not a book about God, right? There's business, there's sports, there's some scripture. But you also bring a component in around energy and the quantum. And I think I'm so. I've been reading so much about this the last few years. I was completely oblivious to it previously. But. And for anyone listening right now that isn't familiar, if you could share a little bit about what that means to.
- [38:14]
John Gordon
Go really deep, you have to understand who you are and what you're made of. And when you understand that, this makes even more sense. Because when you think about it, what are you really? When you die, your body turns to dust. So think about that. That's pretty crazy. Like, we never really even talk about death. Like, one day you hear, and the next day you're gone. I think that's really crazy. Like, in this reality, I've lost my mom and dad. Like, one day they were here, and then they were gone the next day. Like, where did they go? Where does your body go? It turns to dust. Okay, so what are you. And our body is made of. Of energy. How do we perceive the world? If you really think about it, we see the world and perceive the world and experience the world through electrical impulses, through signals, through wavelengths and frequencies and vibrations. And we interpret to see, to hear these signals that then we apply meaning to. And then we're able to make sense of this energetic reality we're living. So what I'm convinced of and what I explain to people is the brain is an antenna. We're energetic beings, and we have a soul and a spirit that is living in this temporary reality, which everyone agree it's temporary. But our soul and our spirit is eternal. And it's connected to God's eternal soul and spirit. Well, I should say God's spirit. So we are meant to be one spirit with God, our spirit. And God's spirit is meant to be one spirit. That is the unifying factor. That is the oneness that you feel. And it's interesting. Namaste means the spirit in me recognizes the spirit in you. So we're spirit. Well, if we're spirit and God is spirit, when we become one spirit, that's when we experience the oneness, the love, the joy. That's when we experience our purpose so we can actually live a more powerful life as we're meant to live by being connected to the one spirit. You're never meant to be separate from that. The spirits are. Your spirit is meant to be one. Think about the tree and the soil meant to be one. The tree thrives in the soil. It's not meant to be separate from the soil. The fish is meant to be in the water. And we're meant to be connected to our Creator. And then Scripture backs us up and says that nothing could separate you from the love of God. You're actually always connected to that love. The fact that you feel separate isn't a lie, an illusion that you feel separate, but you're actually always connected to the love of God. What does God want for you oneness and connection. What are the forces always trying to do on the other side? Separate you, Divide you. So you feel weak, scared, chronically stressed, worried and powerless all the time. And so when you understand the nature of our realities, to experience this energetic reality and the essence is this battle between oneness and separateness, good and evil. Evil divides, good unites. And as you go through this journey, your soul is learning, growing, becoming and then healing and being restored back to oneness. And that's the purpose of our life, that's our journey. And I truly believe when you understand this, it all makes sense. We've all lived this, we all have a wound. I mean I've talked to Buddhists, I was a Buddhist. I've talked to friends who are atheists. Hey, do you, do we have a hole in our soul? Oh yeah, like even atheists we have a hole in our soul. Like they don't know where the soul comes from, but they, you know, they believe we have a hole in our soul. And how do you heal the hole? Well, self love. But your self love is not powerful enough. It's not great enough. I know about you, but I'm an imperfect, so my love is very imperfect. It's not always great and sometimes it's conditional. You need an unconditional healing love. Now self love is good though because it moves you away from separateness and feeling crappy and feeling down and depressed and hating yourself. But it's a step in the right direction. But then we need to tap into that greater love. So again the awareness of what you are, your soul and spirit and essence. Essence. And then you have this energetic reality. Appearance is temporary, but essence is eternal. So every day we're living life from this eternal essence. And we're meant to express that essence very powerfully with love and joy, peace and purpose. And we're not meant to go through life fearful, anxious, worried and stressed.
- [42:33]
Unknown Guest
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- [46:44]
Heather Monahan
You to try to find your passion. You have a chapter on having a knowing or a knowingness, and that's something that I've struggled. I feel like I go in and out of, and it's very, very frustrating. When you're out of it, how do you get yourself to stay in the knowing?
- [47:01]
John Gordon
So that's so great because, you know, we all have those moments of in and out. We all have those moments of up and down. We all have those highs and lows. We're living in a world of duality, and so we're never going to be fully, fully high state of mind all the time. There are people always trying to achieve it, but there are moments when you experience it, like the zone state. Man, it's awesome. I bet when you're speaking on stage, you feel the oneness of that moment. That's probably when you feel most alive as a speaker, I always call it.
- [47:30]
Heather Monahan
That's like the magic moment when you feel like magic, you know, you found what you're supposed to be doing.
- [47:34]
John Gordon
It's so great. And there's a feeling on stage of oneness because you're not thinking of anything else. And there's this power moving through. You feel the connection to the spirit, and you're like, boom. And then all of a sudden you come off the stage and there are moments now thought rushes back in. And then all of a sudden at times you might feel even a little down because you just had this peak high experience. And now you feel. And then it's gone. And you're seeking back that moment. And as a speaker, it's. It's the speaker high. And there's constant moments in our life that we can remember and realize when we're in that oneness state. So you're going to have the highs and the lows. So what do I do to stay there or Try to get there. Can't do it all the time. That's what I share in the book. That's. That's the tune acronym. T, U, N E. Trust in truth, Unite with love. Neutralizing negativity. Elevate your thinking. We talk about that also. The other action plan is the whole acronym and the prayer acronym. We don't have to go through it now, but read the book for those acronyms. And for me, a big part of getting to that oneness state is really prayer. Like we are meant to practice gratitude and prayer. And what I realized was years ago when I suffered from depression, anxiety, and I finally knew I needed to change because Katherine was going to leave me if I didn't change, I started taking walks of gratitude and prayer every day. And then by doing that, what I was doing is I was now tuning into the higher frequency. I was tuning into the oneness. The ego is being dissolved. And now I'm tuning into and experiencing more of a oneness with my creator, with God. And as I'm walking, I'm finding renewing and healing. So literally my mind starts to change, my soul starts to change. I start to feel different. Eventually my brain is now being changed because your brain is nothing more than the hardware, but it's an energetic hardware. And the more you're. You're tuning into an experience in the oneness that actually heals your body and brain. And so I want scientists to start studying this because I truly believe this is the direction of healing and the answer to our. Our epidemic of mental health. I'm not a scientist. I have this theory. I have these beliefs. I put it out there in the book. I may even not be right. I'm not going to say I'm perfectly right. I think that I'm pointing people in the right direction of where should we should be going and what scientists should be doing and testing and creating. Because I believe the more we can help people experience the oneness, experience these, this modality of prayer and doing it every day, meditation and prayer, they'll start to find more healing in their life. And I think we'll find a lot of solutions for that. So the long answer to your short question was I think, take more time in prayer. Whenever I feel anxious, you know what I do? I say, I trust in you, God. I don't have all the answers, but I know you do. I trust in your plan for me, and I just trust and I surrender. And we've all heard the serenity prayer. We've heard all sorts of prayers like that surrender is really powerful because what do you do? You're letting go of your ego, of your separateness, and now you're experiencing oneness and of oneness. What happens? Love flows through you and to others through your oneness. When I meet people, I can always tell. You can tell their heart just by how they make you feel and the oneness that's flowing through them. Unless someone's having a bad day and they're in a low state, and sometimes we might judge someone based on their low state. Please, if you're. If you see me in an airplane and I'm a little stressed, don't judge me by my low state. Although I've got a ton of. But there are moments I'm in a low state. You don't want to be judged by them, but we all go there. But the more we take time for prayer and that connection time, the more we'll actually be able to stay and experience the higher state.
- [51:15]
Heather Monahan
You know, someone pointed out to me the other day, I struggle with the idea of surrender because it sounds scary. Like you're letting go of everything, you're letting go of all control. And for so much of my life, I was a control freak in recovery. Now it's a work in progress. And so someone said to me, how about instead of saying, I surrender to you, God, or I let go of my fears to you, I give you my fears, God. And it was interesting, changing one word. I thought, oh, that's easy to do. I had no problem. But for me, language was holding me back a little bit from truly surrendering.
- [51:49]
John Gordon
I love that language. Yeah, you talked about language just now. That's a great way to put it, because language creates meaning. And so basically, what works for you and what's the meaning behind what you're saying? So you're basically saying instead of surrendering, you're saying, I give you right? Or I really.
- [52:05]
Heather Monahan
It means the same thing.
- [52:06]
John Gordon
Yeah, no, I love it. But it's whatever works for you, you know, Like, I think religion is always like, you must do it this way. And guess what? The creed of the universe has a way to communicate to you individually. And the more you're open to that and you create that connection. I challenge people. If you don't believe in God, I challenge you just to start surrender and start to pray and just say, I'm open, I'm willing. If you're real, show me the signs and just start to speak to me. And I guarantee the more you listen, you're open. As you start to experience the oneness of that relationship, because it's an intimate walk with God. God wants to create a oneness with you and have an intimate relationship. I have no doubt we are meant to be connected with our Creator. So as you have that oneness, God will start to actually speak to you and through you and give you ideas like God wants to speak to you and through you. Like, I've written 28 books now, and these books come to me and through me, and I write them in three and a half weeks. And I'm not any special. I'm not more special than anyone else. It's because, one, this is my purpose and calling. No doubt. You may not get these downloads of books because you're not meant to be a writer. You might get different downloads, but for me, I get them. And it's only when I'm silent and still and practicing gratitude that they come in. And the more I surrender, guess what? The ideas come when I'm in that mode because I'm now receiving. And I don't think a lot of people receive because they don't believe they deserve to receive. They don't trust they're going to receive, or they've got the blockages and the lack of faith that keep them from receiving. So you could cry out, you can ask, God, help me. And you ask, you can trust, but you also have to allow yourself to receive the blessing that God wants to give you and the words he wants to give you and the voice he wants to share to you. So I've experienced this firsthand as someone who never wrote books, never received much. And then as I started doing a lot of this and really trusting and surrendering, things started to flow and unbelievable, like the ideas that I get. And this book is the result of the connection to oneness, which is then ironic. I would write a book about oneness. And I know you're big on making a difference too. As you become more one, you then want to go help the one. And I find that the more you are experiencing oneness, you experience love. That makes you want to help others. Because why you now see that other person as part of you, they're not separate from you. So now you want to help them. And that's what I love to do. That's why, like any teenagers that struck, any teenager that's struggling, I will talk to that teenager because I want to. I want to help them.
- [54:47]
Heather Monahan
I'm so grateful you brought up receiving. I struggled with that so much. And actually in the book, you've got a chapter about Shame and how shame blocks us and sexual abuse and, you know, abuse of any kind, but that we don't even realize. Like you said, someone could be out there seeking this relationship with God, praying for it. But whatever their blocks are within their own life that they haven't addressed yet is actually keeping them from receiving the kinds of blessings you're describing.
- [55:15]
John Gordon
Totally. Totally. And again, we don't receive. So your job is to ask. Your job is to trust and then be open to receiving. Don't cut off the flow of abundant and positive energy and love and blessings that are meant for you.
- [55:31]
Heather Monahan
Oh, my gosh, this is so good. How does everybody find you? And how does everybody find your new book, the One Truth?
- [55:38]
John Gordon
They can go to get1truth.com, that's get1truth.com because one truth was already taken, so we had to get. Get1truth.com and they can go there and get the book. They can actually read it before it comes out if this airs before June 27th. So they can actually read the book before it. It comes out June 27, though, and then they get a bunch of action plans and resources free. So they get the tune. Tune action plan, the prayer acronym, the whole action plan. They get all of that. And then also jongordon.com is my website, so jo n gordon.com they can. They can find all my books and a lot of my resources and free resources there as well. And then Twitter and Instagram @Jon Gordon 11. And I'm on Instagram. Oh, no. LinkedIn. LinkedIn, which, you know, I know you love. I'm. I. I love LinkedIn as well. I'm on there as well.
- [56:28]
Heather Monahan
All right, guys, check this book out, the One Truth. There's so much in here that's going to make sense to you that you're not going to have realized until you read what John put together. And there's a whole section on applying it to your life. There's action plans. Take the step. Get the book the One Truth. John, thank you so much for writing this book and thanks for being here.
- [56:49]
John Gordon
Hey, thanks, Heather. Really appreciate you so much.
- [56:51]
Heather Monahan
Guys, until next week, keep creating your confidence.
- [56:55]
Unknown Guest
I decided to change that dynamic. I couldn't be more excited for what you're gonna hear. Start learning and growing. Inevitably something will happen.
- [57:06]
Heather Monahan
No one succeeds alone.
- [57:09]
John Gordon
You don't stop and look around once in a while. You could miss it.
- [57:12]
Heather Monahan
Come on this journey with me.