Podcast Summary: Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan

Episode: Confidence Classic: The PRO Secrets To EXCELLENCE with Alan Stein Jr.
Date: September 17, 2025
Host: Heather Monahan
Guest: Alan Stein Jr.

Overview

This episode dives deep into the principles of excellence and high performance drawn from the world of elite sports, particularly basketball, and translates them into actionable lessons for business and life. Heather Monahan unpacks Alan Stein Jr.’s experience with NBA superstars such as Kevin Durant and Steph Curry, exploring themes of discipline, humility, routine, self-talk, and how to sustain peak performance. Alan shares strategies from his coaching background, offers personal stories, and connects the dots between athletic and corporate excellence—making the case that anyone can apply these pro-level secrets to excel.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Path to Coaching Elite Athletes (02:03–04:39)

• Self-Awareness and Mastery of Fundamentals

  • Alan attributes his success as a coach not to being an NBA player but to being “fanatical about the basics” and understanding universal principles of performance.
  • Quote:

  “There are a series of principles that apply to everybody walking the earth... whether you’re an NBA All Star or someone in corporate America.”
  — Alan Stein Jr. (02:54)

• Unique Career Journey

  • Started with coaching middle and high school players, many who eventually reached the NBA, giving him insider knowledge both at the “climb” and “mountaintop” stages.
  • Emphasizes that not being a pro player doesn't preclude someone from being an effective coach of high-performers.

2. What Separates the Best from the Rest (04:39–08:09)

• Respect for Fundamentals & Humility
  • Top athletes never skip steps and value basics as the foundation for everything.
  • Combination of humility and confidence is crucial; being coachable and seeking feedback prevents stagnation.
  • Quote:

  “They crave people in their life that can make them better… because they know that puts them on the path to continuous growth.”
  — Alan Stein Jr. (04:54)

3. The Dangers of Ego and Lack of Humility (08:09–11:37)

• Ego in Sports and Corporate Life

  • Those who aren’t humble surround themselves with “yes men,” block out constructive feedback, and often never reach their potential.
  • Parallels drawn to corporate leaders who avoid challenge, leading to short-term appearances of success but long-term decline.
  • Quote:

  “Discipline is what leads to freedom. Discipline is the first step to all of the things that we covet in life.”
  — Alan Stein Jr. (09:23)

• The Importance of Accountability

  • True friends and mentors hold you accountable for your growth, pushing you to improve instead of just comforting you.

4. The Role and Flexibility of Routine (11:37–15:16; 17:57–19:43)

• Personalized Approach

  • There’s no “one size fits all" for routines. The key is self-awareness—knowing what works best for you.
  • Quote:

  “I don’t believe there’s a one size fits all for everyone. Everyone needs to find that rhythm.”
  — Alan Stein Jr. (12:41)

• Examples from Jesse Itzler and Steph Curry

  • Routines can be strict (like Jesse Itzler’s eating routine) or flexible/adapted to life changes.
  • Steph Curry’s highly structured pre-game routine is highlighted as an example of professionalism at work.

5. Building and Rebuilding Confidence (24:12–27:07)

• Preparation and Practice

  • Elite, experienced performers (speaking, sports, etc.) still meticulously practice and prepare, reinforcing that excellence stems from purposeful practice.
  • Quote:

  “[Tim Storey] said: ‘You need to practice.’... He said, ‘Five hours, Heather. Five hours [for a speech].’”
  — Heather Monahan (22:08)

• Avoiding Comparison Traps

  • While inspired by the routines/habits of others, techniques should be tailored to one’s own life and needs to avoid burnout or discouragement.

6. The Power of Self-Talk and Compassion (27:07–32:56)

• Treating Yourself Like a Friend

  • Alan and Heather reflect on the tendency of high achievers to be overly self-critical, and the value of shifting to a more compassionate internal dialogue.
  • Quote:

  “We need to talk to ourselves the same way [as we would a loved one]... you’ll never fix something you’re unaware of.”
  — Alan Stein Jr. (27:07)

• Modeling This for Others

  • Heather shares a personal story about apologizing to her son after overreacting, reinforcing accountability and vulnerability as key to growth and connection both personally and professionally.

7. Repetition, Learning from Mistakes, and Growth (36:41–38:39)

• “Just Another Rep” Mindset
  • Every opportunity—whether parenting, speaking, or even mistakes—is another repetition, a chance to learn and improve.
  • Quote:

  “I try and go through everything in life looking at every opportunity as just another repetition.”
  — Alan Stein Jr. (37:26)

8. Sustaining Excellence Over Time

(Intro to Alan’s book “Sustain Your Game”)
(38:39–44:53)

• Framework: Stress, Stagnation, Burnout

  • Alan identifies these three as the primary threats to sustaining performance.
    • Stress: Caused by resistance to the present; solution is acceptance and controlling attitude/effort.
      • Quote:

      “Stress is the desire for things to be different than they are in the present moment.”
      — Alan Stein Jr., citing Eckhart Tolle (39:51)

    • Stagnation: Avoided by shaking up your circle and the information/content you consume.
    • Burnout: Results from misalignment of effort and fulfillment; solved by ensuring your work fills your bucket rather than drains it.

• Heather’s Hacks

  • For stress (especially traffic): Focus on breathing and gratitude to reframe the experience (40:52).
  • For burnout: Address the source—sometimes outside work (e.g., relationships)—to restore joy to your efforts (43:32).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote | |-----------|---------|-------| | 02:54 | Alan | “There are a series of principles that apply to everybody walking the earth... whether you’re an NBA All Star or someone in corporate America.” | | 04:54 | Alan | “They crave people in their life that can make them better… because they know that puts them on the path to continuous growth.” | | 09:23 | Alan | “Discipline is what leads to freedom. Discipline is the first step to all of the things that we covet in life.” | | 12:41 | Alan | “I don’t believe there’s a one size fits all for everyone. Everyone needs to find that rhythm.” | | 19:43 | Alan | “[Steph Curry] came up, introduced himself to me, and he said, ‘Coach, will you rebound for me? Because I don’t leave the gym until I swish five free throws in a row.’ … Swishing five… is an incredibly high standard… it’s because Steph is willing to hold himself to an unparalleled standard.” | | 22:08 | Heather | “Tim Storey… said: ‘You need to practice.’... He said, ‘Five hours, Heather. Five hours [for a speech].’” | | 27:07 | Alan | “We need to talk to ourselves the same way [as we would a loved one]... you’ll never fix something you’re unaware of.” | | 37:26 | Alan | “I try and go through everything in life looking at every opportunity as just another repetition.” | | 39:51 | Alan | “Stress is the desire for things to be different than they are in the present moment.” |

Practical Takeaways

• Build Success on Fundamentals: Master basics, embrace humility, never stop learning.
• Be Accountable and Coachable: Surround yourself with challengers, not just comforters.
• Personalize Your Routine: Experiment and refine what works for you, rather than copying others.
• Practice Purposefully: Excellence is built through consistent, focused effort—regardless of apparent talent or experience.
• Compassionate Self-Talk: Treat yourself with the kindness you'd offer others, especially in failure.
• Own Vulnerability: Acknowledge mistakes openly, whether in leadership or parenting, to foster trust and connection.
• Handle Stress, Stagnation, and Burnout: Acceptance, variety in people and input, and alignment of purpose are key.

Resources and How to Connect

• Books:
  • Raise Your Game
  • Sustain Your Game
• Website: allensteinjr.com, strongerteam.com
• Social: Instagram @allensteinjr
• Audio: Alan narrates his own audiobooks, available on Audible

Final Encouragement

Alan Stein Jr. and Heather Monahan’s conversation is a masterclass in translating world-class athletic excellence to everyday life and business. The episode is packed with stories, analogies, and actionable wisdom—reminding listeners that regardless of their starting point, discipline, humility, and intentional practice are the real “secrets” to sustained greatness.