← Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Why Your Faith Must Be Bigger Than Your Fear with Heather
00:38:16
Loading summary
Transcript28 lines
- [00:00]
A
Every business is asking the same question. How do we make AI work for us? The possibilities are endless and guessing it's too risky. NetSuite is the number one AI cloud ERP trusted by over 43,000 businesses. It's a unified suite that brings your financials, inventory, commerce, HR and CRM into a single source of truth. From software and IT services to healthcare, equipment, manufacturing, financial services and many other great American industries, NetSuite delivers a customized solution for for your business. This isn't another bolted on tool, it's AI built into the system that runs your business. If I had needed this product, it's exactly what I would use. If your revenues are at least in the seven figures, get our free business guide demystifying AI@netsuite.com Monahan the guide is free to you at netsuite.com Monahan netsuite.com Monahan Refresh your everyday with luxury you'll actually use. Head to quints.com confidence for free shipping on your order and three 65 day returns now available in Canada too. Quint.com confidence hiring help shouldn't be a headache or a drain on your budget. Thousands of growing businesses already trust upwork to hire flexible, high quality freelance talent for everything from one off projects to ongoing support. Visit upwork.com right now and post your job for free up upwork.com live shopping on whatnot is exploding right now. On whatnot you go live and sell directly to people in real time. They see what you've got, ask questions and buy. Visit whatnot.comsell to start selling whatnot.com sell start making money on the side.
- [01:42]
B
It's www.fanview f a n v u
- [01:47]
A
e.com today and launch your career. That's key. Keepersecurity.com confidence for 60% off personal and
- [01:54]
B
family plans if I had approached fear that way my whole life, instead of focusing on the fear, instead flipping to my faith and realizing that my faith is so much bigger than my fear and always has been and always will be that overcomes the fear now in my life I choose to see fear as a green light. That means go run into it, run through it and overcome it. Don't back off from it. The real power is in the surrender and allowing things to come to you and receiving these amazing blessings and gifts. You can surrender to something so much greater than you that could be orchestrating everything for the life that you're meant to have. So start thinking bigger. Start asking for more. The best is yet to come. Come on this journey with me Each week when you join me, we are going to chase down our goals, overcome adversity, and set you up for a better tomorrow. I'm ready for my close up. Tell me, have you been enjoying these new bonus Confidence classics episodes we've been dropping on you every week? We've literally hundreds of episodes for you to listen to. So these bonuses are a great way to help you find the ones you
- [03:04]
A
may have already missed.
- [03:06]
B
I hope you love this one as much as I do. Hi, and welcome back. I'm so glad you're back here with me this week. Okay, so if you are a regular podcast listener, you know what was going on last week. If you're new to the show, by the way, hi, I'm Heather. I would love it if you'd go back and listen to the last few episodes so that you can get caught up. I have to start with what's really important. Okay. So I just got out of church. I'm obsessed with my church. It's VOO Church in Miami. You can check it out online. V O U S. We have the most incredible pastors, the most incredible worship team. I mean, literally, I'm in the best mood every time I walk out of there. It's incredible. No matter what's going on. P.S. there is a lot going on and I am on very little sleep right now. I am full blown exhausted. Existing on Celsius and coffee. Really impressive. As soon as I record this show, then I'm heading out to give a talk at a book signing. And I'm super excited for my day. All because of this church and just speaking life into me, speaking joy into me and speaking. So I don't know if you're a fan of church. Check it out online. V o u s vouschurch.com. it's incredible. Okay, so the message this morning at church, and my son and I went to an early mass because I had a lot of stuff going on today. But here is a message and I'm gonna share it with you. I hope that it hits you in the same way that it hit me or in a similar way. That was really powerful. So the message today was all about just reminding ourselves that we need that we forget so much. Right? Whether it be you go to a lecture to learn something, within 24 hours, you've already forgotten half of what you heard. Right. Within three days, you've lost 70% of what you had heard. You're only retaining 30% of the information. We have so many messages that are hitting us, you know, billboards, audio Ads, you know, television, paper, print, Internet, bah, social media. There's ads and messaging everywhere. And we don't control all of it, right? The majority of it we don't control. So we need to be really intentional about the things that we do, focus on the messaging that we repeat and replay often and realize we're not gonna retain all of it. So if we wanna retain something, we've gotta go back and revisit things. And a great way to do that is to put reminders in your calendar. To put reminders to go to church every Sunday, right? Remind yourself how great you feel after. Remind yourself to work out every day, whatever these things are that are important to you. Put reminders in your calendar, put reminders around your house. I have reminders everywhere. Literally I have reminders. I have books that are just all about positive affirmations and reminders. I have candles that have reminders on them reminding me that I'm special and that I'm loved. And I have picture frames with amazing messaging and reminders. So I'm a big believer in frequency cells. That which we see often, that which we expose ourselves to information, often we have a better chance to retain that information and remember it. Right? And so our pastor today was just talking about, we need that reminder that God is good in our life, God is real and God is with you always. And that's the reminder. It was our seven year birthday. I have not been going to the church that long. This is my first year going to this church. But they've been in existence for seven years. And he was taking everyone through how eight years ago, before the church was formed, he and his wife were praying to God to help them find somewhere that they could preach, find somewhere that they could share God's word. And they stumbled upon a school. And that school has now transformed into a church every Sunday and many other days of the week with thousands and thousands of people attending. And it's incredible, incredible what has happened as a result of that vision that they had, as a result of turning it over to God, as a result of asking God to show them the way. And now when you are in this school and with this community of people, it's pure magic. It's God at work. And it's just been such an incredible experience. So I hope you find some community like that. I hope you find a church like that. If not, check out voodchurch online. Okay? So his whole message today was put reminders everywhere. Realize that you are not gonna retain information that you think you will. And if you wanna retain it. Keep exposing yourself to that information. Right? You don't just go to church on Sunday. You can pray to God every day. You can read God's word in the Bible in so many different works, you know, but make the choice to expose yourself to the information you want to retain. Because we are exposed to so much that we aren't choosing. Let's be intentional about the really good, important stuff so we can bring that messaging and that joy and that word with us everywhere we go. It's just gonna make your life so much brighter. It certainly has for me. Okay, so here was his follow up message to that and this was his closing. Today was faith. Your faith has got to be greater than your fear. This was number one. And if you've been with me for a while, if you've read my book Overcome youe Villains, you know that I like to reframe fear as a green light. That means go. And what I mean by that is when I was a little kid, if I felt scared, I'd run home and hide, go under my bed and just hide and pray, whatever scary thing would go away, right? I was not equipped to handle hard things. Now as a 48 year old adult, I am scared. So equipped to handle big, challenging things. You know, that's what life is all about. That's what facing challenges is all about. Creating resilience. Creating that knowing inside of you of what capacity you have to handle challenging things and take them head on and overcome them. It's a really powerful feeling. So now in my life, I choose to see fear as a green light. That means go, run into it, run through it and overcome it. Don't back off from it. But I loved our pastor's word this morning about having faith bigger than fear. And it really got me thinking that if I had approached fear that way my whole life, instead of focusing on the fear, instead flipping to my faith and realizing that my faith is so much bigger than my fear and always has been and always will be, that overcomes the fear immediately. So asking you to choose your faith over your fear every day for sure. Then he went on to say, number two, trust over exploits explanation. And for me, I don't know about you, but trusting was a hard thing, right? If you had a challenging upbringing or you had personal relationships in your life where people broke your trust, right? Those wounds leave scars and sometimes we get triggered by those scars and we have issues trusting people. I certainly have had issues trusting and letting new people into my life. You know, for many of those reasons from challenges, you know, early on in my childhood, and losing trust in people. But I loved his message today. You can always trust in God. God is forever faithful. And having that knowing and that trust in God is so comforting and so powerful. And P.S. the more that you rely on that, the more your energy is gonna be at that same level of good and, and bringing those right people that you can trust into your life and asking God to bring those people to you. I ask every day, God, please close the doors on that which is not meant for me and on that which is no longer meant for me. And please open the doors to that which is. And, you know, always asking for those signs to show me the way. And I truly believe. I saw it in motion this week so many times this week. It's crazy. I can't wait to share with you what happened. But these really serendipitous moments in my life where I know it's God at work, I know it's God attracting those right people to me, those right opportunities and those blessings, and I just want. I want that for you too. Okay, so that was, number two, trust over explanation. And number three, this is a big one for me. Surrender over strength. Here's how I think of that. Surrender sounded crazy to me, by the way. Before a year ago, I just. The idea of surrendering, what that sounds like giving up, like, no way. That's the antithesis of who I am. I'm such a hard worker. I make things happen, I create, I get out there and white knuckle everything to make it, you know, come to fruition, whatever it is I want. What I've learned is, yes, you need to work hard. Yes, you've got to put yourself out there and take chances and go for big things. But the real power is in the surrender and allowing things to come to you and receiving these amazing blessings and gifts. And this is a whole new way of thinking for me. And because like our pastor was saying this morning, it's important that you remind yourself of the things you want to remember and expose yourself often to the messaging that you want to remember. I've been reading two different surrender statements daily. I make myself read them every morning when I wake up because surrendering is something that I'm having to practice at. It's not coming natural to me. Right. Some things come natural to us, some things do not. Obviously, for everyone has different issues, challenges, opportunities. But for me, surrender has not been the easiest because I have white knuckled and created and forced things so much in my life that I thought that was the only way that to look at the complete opposite way of allowing and surrendering seemed really strange. So I keep exposing myself to the information. It's getting better. I'm definitely not there yet, but with frequency and reading these messages daily, it's definitely helping me to understand this is something I'm getting better at. I'm gonna continue to grow and I'm gonna continue to expose myself to this information until it becomes second nature. Okay, so here's two surrender statements that I read on the daily Universal mind within me. I forgive my worries, my anxieties and my small minded concerns and I give them to you. I I trust that you have the mind to resolve them much better than I could arrange the players in my world so that doors open for me. Innate intelligence. I release my suffering and my self pity to you. I have mismanaged my inner thoughts and actions for long enough. For sure I allow you to intervene and provide a greater life in a way that is just right for me. Meet a different guest each week.
- [14:05]
A
Confidence Creators Scaling a business takes the right expertise at the right time. Upwork helps growing teams quickly bring in specialized freelancers so you can move faster and take the business to the next level. Hiring helps shouldn't be a headache or a drain on your budget. Upwork makes it easy to hire specialized freelancers quickly so you can get the expertise you need now without weeks of recruiting or a full time hire. Upwork is a one stop platform to find, hire and pay expert freelancers across web and software development, data and analytics, marketing, business operations and more. You can browse profiles, review past work and get help scoping the role so you can hire with confidence and get started quickly with business. Plus, you can access the top 1% of talent on Upwork and with AI powered shortlisting, you'll get matched to the right freelancer in under six hours. No endless searching required. It's free to sign up and posting a job is easy. Thousands of growing businesses already trust upwork to hire flexible, high quality freelance talent for everything from one off projects to ongoing support. Visit Upwork Upwork.com right now and post
- [15:07]
B
your job for free.
- [15:08]
A
Upwork.com to connect with top talent ready to help your business grow. That's up. W o r k.com Upwork.com Think about everything protected by a password. Your bank, your email, your work accounts, your kid stuff. Now think about how many of those passwords are actually strong and different from one another. For most of us, the answer is not so many.
- [15:34]
B
That's A real problem.
- [15:35]
A
And it's exactly what Keeper fixes for you. Keeper is a password manager that creates strong, unique passwords for all of your accounts, stores them securely in one place, and logs you in automatically across all of your devices so you never have to remember, guess, or worry about your login credentials again. For me, this is a game changer.
- [15:54]
B
Not only was I getting frustrated because I couldn't remember what password was what, but constantly getting emails about data breaches and your password password is now on the dark web and people trying to break into your accounts. It's not worth the trouble. Keeper is the answer and it's been the solution for me.
- [16:13]
A
Right now, Keeper is offering our listeners 60 off personal and family plans@keepersecurity.com confidence. This offer is only for podcast listeners. That's keepersecurity.com confidence for 60 off personal and family plans. Make sure you use our link so they know we sent you keepersecurity.com confidence.
- [16:37]
B
I ask you to try to find your passion. What I just read to you comes from the book Breaking the Habit of Being how to Lose youe Mind and Create a new one by Dr. Joe Dispenza. I'm obsessed with Dr. Joe, by the way. Yes, I'm obsessed with my pastor, too. I'm obsessed with a lot of things. Okay, I love life and there's a lot to love in life, but this book is incredible. If you don't know Dr. Joe, check him out online on YouTube. He's got amazing content. He helps people to rewire their brains, think differently. And I'm just gonna attest to his work has impacted me in a profound way, a very positive way. I know that different people and different messaging and different frequencies connect and relate to people in different ways. I'm just sharing someone whose work has really helped support me on my journey to evolving into the best version of myself. But this whole concept around surrender, he's a whole chapter. It's chapter 11 in the book which really digs into surrender. And what's so interesting is how much it aligns with the messaging at church that I'm exposed to every week, right? So through different people, through a different lens, through different ways, but really the same, very similar conversation, very similar teachings to me ultimately. And it's been super helpful to see the different sides of it. So this whole concept of surrender, it's been new. I've been knee deep in this surrender now for a few months, and I will tell you, my life is profoundly different. And God's played such a bigger role in my life in the last year. And I think that has a huge. I can't even express how huge that impact has been on my life. As I'm sitting here with you recording this, I am in my brand new home, which is so incredible. I'm so grateful to God for this blessing that I had been asking for for a while. And here we are, it's come to fruition. And I know that God's hand is all over this. I am so blessed. And I'll tell you, we have been in our new home for one week. Yes, I'm still looking at boxes in my house because for four of the days this week I was in la. And if you are with me every week, you know what that means. Yes, I ended up going on Dr. Phil. Okay, so let's back it up for a second. Here's what I wanted to explain to you about this whole situation. So out of the blue last week, right? This was when I was packing up my other condo and getting ready to move, which is chaos if you haven't moved in a while. And I know we talked about this already. I purged so much stuff. A friend of mine said, anything that doesn't bring you joy or that you don't love, get rid of it. I was shocked at how much stuff I had accumulated over 17 years that didn't bring me joy that I didn't love. And I just got. I unloaded it in a big, big way, even a little too aggressively because now I have no vases for my flowers. Because I got rid of every vase from any ex, boyfriend, fiance, husband, whatever I had had in my life. Because I thought, well, these don't bring me joy anymore. I'm not in a relationship with these people. Bye. Got rid of them all. And now I am looking at beautiful roses in a kitchen spoon holder because I don't have vases. But anyways, first world problems, not a big deal. We're gonna keep it moving. But look at your house through that lens. Get rid of everything that doesn't bring you joy, everything that you don't love, and create some space to bring new amazing things into your life. Okay? So anyhow, two, no, three years ago, I did my TEDx talk, right? That TEDx was promoted to TED, translated into six languages. It was transcribed. I mean, it did amazing things, right? I'm super proud of it. 10 minute talk. If you haven't checked it out, go to Google and type in Heather Monahan TED Talk. It comes right up. One of the things that's funny about life is you never know the domino effect something can have, right? So you work so hard. I worked so hard on landing that TedX. I worked so hard on delivering it. Right? I worked so hard on the whole thing. And wouldn't you know that a week and a half ago, I got 95 DMs on every platform in the world from Dr. Phil's producer, who had just seen my TED Talk. So here we are, three years later, someone on the Dr. Phil team stumbles across my TED Talk and says, we need this woman on our show. So just so interesting to me that, you know, don't get frustrated. This is. I'm literally giving myself advice here right now as I pretend I'm giving it to you. Don't get frustrated when you're thinking, I've worked so hard, I've created so much, and things aren't coming together. We can only connect the dots looking back. We can't connect them looking forward, Right? I never knew that this was how I was going to land this huge show or this opportunity. And I don't know what this show is. What next door, this show is going to open for me, right? Who knows? This, that's what makes life so exciting and brings me so much joy, is that as you move forward in that uncertainty, you're moving forward in that opportunity and that potential, and who knows how incredible it's going to be as a result. So I'm super grateful. I was blindsided by that, that they stumbled across my TED Talk, and that's what landed me on the show. But what a blessing. What a gift. Now, the timing wasn't ideal, right? I was in the middle of packing up one condo, moving to the next, and they kept contacting me and saying, hey, do another video for us on this. Do a video on this. And I said, I'm moving. I can't. This is after I'd already sent them so many videos of me. And the woman said, heather, I don't care if you literally just got out of workout, have a baseball hat on and no makeup, just send a video talking about what happened to you at your old job. So that's what I did. I got out of my workout. I was coming home to start unpacking boxes. That was a week ago today. And I had no makeup on. Yikes. And I record this video. I sent it to them. P.S. while I was sitting on the Dr. Phil show behind me, there's this humongous screen. Guess who's up there with no makeup on? Oh, there's Heather. Hey. Okay. So that was one of those moments I thought, oh, my gosh, Monahan, really, like, is this what you want to do at 48 years old, is show up on national TV with no makeup on and on, no sleep, getting out of a workout, whatever. Okay. Could have made a better decision there. However, done will always be better than perfect. And that's what this week is really about. Because I had so much going on. I am so far behind on everything right now. Like, I didn't even change my mailing address. I hadn't even set up the fp, and l. I hadn't shut off the other one. I still had the Wall Street Journal being delivered at my old house. I had packages at my old house. I mean, craziness. Because I didn't have the time to handle things. But I saw an opportunity. I knew that getting a chance, an opportunity to go on a Dr. Phil show with millions of viewers, there's so much potential. I don't know what will come of it, but I knew I had to take that leap and just move forward in faith that things will work out. And it's been a little chaotic, but I'm so proud that I did it. And I know that my message has already helped people that were live on set that day because they told me, and I'm sure when it actually comes out and airs, and that it will help even more. And, you know, that is, again, what we're all here for, right? Is how can we elevate and impact others in a positive way and bring more joy, bring more good into the world and let people know you're not alone. Whatever struggle you're in, you aren't alone. And you don't need to feel ashamed of it. You know, you're in good company because I'm right there with you. Right? And I've been right there with you. And there is more on the other side. There's definitely more for you. So just hang in there. I'm so riding in this with you. Meet a different guest each week. Okay? If you've been wanting to make some money on the side and don't really want to put your own face on a camera to do it, you can. You can make money on the side. You can make anywhere from $10,000 a month to $50,000 a month just being who you are, teaching the things that you're already an exper. And you can even use an AI avatar to do it for you. You don't have to have your face on camera anymore. So the idea now of creator income is available to you, to anyone, and there's no barrier to entry. It is so simple to do. You can create your own AI avatar
- [25:16]
A
and you tell it what to say.
- [25:18]
B
Now you're charging. You are getting reoccurring revenue every single month and anyone can do this by just showing up and sharing your expertise. Teaching the things from jujitsu to working out to how to cook to how to bake bread to how to create confidence. Anything that you're an expert in, anything that you're great at, you can now monetize the platform. It's already there, it already exists and it's easy to do. Why not start making your passion in life your side hustle and start getting 10 to $50,000 a month just showing up, teaching what you already know. It's easy, it's not hard to do and it's ready for you.
- [25:59]
A
You need to go to fanview.com to
- [26:02]
B
set up your account. Now. It is so simple to do. Start making money on the side. It's www.fanview f a n v u
- [26:11]
A
e.com today and launch your career. Lately I've been more intentional about what I wear day to day, leaning into pieces that feel effortless, comfortable and still. It just makes getting dressed simpler. Quince has been my go to. The fabrics feel elevated, the fits are flattering and everything just works without overthinking it. Quince makes it easy to refresh your everyday this spring with pieces that feel
- [26:35]
B
as good as they look.
- [26:36]
A
They use premium materials like 100% European linen, organic cotton and ultra soft denim. Their lightweight linen pants, dresses and tops start at $30 and they're effortless, breathable and easy to wear on repeat. Everything at quints is priced 50 to 80, 80% less than similar brands. They work directly with ethical factories and cut out the middleman. So you're paying for quality and craftsmanship, not brand markup. I've got to tell you, the unbelievable linen pants that I'm wearing right now. They are gorgeous, fit, amazing and allow me to feel cool in the Miami heat. The fabric and quality blows me away and the pricing I have to double check because I'm so surprised at the value. Quint's denim has been a standout for me too. It's that structured support.
- [27:24]
B
It feels soft but fits so well.
- [27:28]
A
I genuinely love these pants. I love the linen, I love the denim.
- [27:34]
B
You've got to check it out.
- [27:35]
A
Refresh your everyday with luxury you'll actually use. Head to quince.com confidence for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q U I n c e.com/confidence for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quints.com confidence. You've seen the buzz, but let me give you the inside scoop. Live shopping on Whatnot is exploding right now.
- [28:00]
B
I've watched the shows firsthand.
- [28:02]
A
I've seen whatnot climb to the top of the app store and I've looked at the seller earnings. Small, medium and multi million dollar businesses are seeing real growth. If you're selling online or out of a storefront full time or as a side hustle, you already know the challenge. You're hoping for people to find your listing or waiting for them to walk in. Whatnot flips that on whatnot, you go live and sell directly to people in real time. They see what you've got, ask questions and buy. And they keep coming back. Whatnot is the largest dedicated live shopping platform. Whether it's beauty, collectibles, electronics, luxury, even cookies, sellers are building real thriving businesses. Whatnot buyers spend more than an hour a day in the app. They're not just browsing, they're bidding, buying and coming back. You go live, show off products in real time and turn what you love and into real income. Across whatnot, the number of sellers making over $1 million a year has doubled. Some make more, some less. But consistency pays off. This isn't a side hustle. It's a real path to building something that lasts. And for a limited time, Whatnot will match your first $150 sold in the first month. Visit whatnot.com sell to start selling. That's w h a t n o t.com/sell whatnot.com sell
- [29:20]
B
I ask you to try to find your passion. I jump on the last seat on the plane because this whole thing came down so last minute that the Dr. Phil show booked me on the flight. And it was literally the last seat on the plane. I was at the back of the plane freezing. It was not good. I was not happy. Okay, get to the hotel. It was not the place I usually stay. I'm so much a creature of habit. Like, I like to know my people. I like to be in the familiar zone, right? So I was just trying to make the best of it. I'm like, this is an adventure and we're just gonna go for it. So the show was super interesting. It was about people who had been bullied at work in toxic work environments. And you know, what they were doing to overcome those Situations and such variation from story to story. And then it was just. It's interesting. I mean you never know how these things will come out when you actually see the final cut. Because with things like television, they can edit and change things. But there is one super powerful moment when Dr. Phil looks at me and says, what you have done with your life is amazing. He totally gives me like props and mad shout out. And I'm super grateful cause it's gonna make such a good clip for my website. Yay, shout out to Dr. Phil. So anyways, so we. It was such a long day. We were there at 6am was our call time. I'd been up since 3am I was literally like no sleep till Brooklyn for this kid for the past two weeks. It's crazy. Not complaining, super grateful for all the opportunity. But I'm sharing that with you that listen, things might look like it's easy on the outside. It's really not what it seems when you see things on social media. You know, you might see the clip from the show or my dressing room, the Dr. Phil show, and think, oh, Heather's so lucky. You don't understand that. I literally sat in the last seat on the plane for a six hour flight, freezing. I started getting a cold on the flight. It was a nightmare. I slept three hours when I got there, then went to the show at 6am we had to take Covid tests. We had to sit outside for 40 minutes waiting for the COVID test approvals. It was raining. I mean, what a disaster. We were there until 2 in the afternoon. I mean it was a long day. Most TV shows that you do aren't like that. You just go in and out in an hour. But for whatever reason, this was a much bigger commitment. Anyways, I hope in the end that it comes out amazing. Fingers crossed. We hope it will be. We turn it over to God. We have faith. And I know this, it will definitely help some people. And so that makes me happy. Okay, cut to then. I got to go back to my west coast headquarters, which is the Beverly Hills Hotel. I'm obsessed with it. My very good friend runs a front desk there. We've become great friends from me staying there so much over the last five years. And I actually wrote a chapter that includes him in my book, Overcome youe Villains. And you'll know exactly who he is when you read it. So this was the first time I was seeing him since the pandemic, right. Because I haven't been traveling to la. Everything has been virtual, which is so exciting that Things are in real life again. So he knew I was out there, what was going on. I go running in there, we're hugging. I hadn't seen him in, gosh, two and a half years. Super excited to be with him, my peeps. And we're hanging out, catching up, and he says, well, go grab lunch outside. I'll come get you when your room's ready. So he comes and gets me. He brings me in. He always upgrades me, just treats me so well. And by the way, it makes so much sense to have contacts at hotels. P.S. if you are not making friends with people who work at the hotels that you're staying in, you are missing the boat. Not only could you make a new friend, but you definitely. There's some perks, okay? So when they can get them. So anyhow, I go into my room. I'm exhausted. I'm like, I just need to lay down for a minute. And all of a sudden, you know, 10 minutes pass, and there's a knock at my door. I know that's my friend, because who else would be knocking on your hotel room? I opened the door, and he says, you're not gonna believe this. I said, what happened? He said, guess who just pulled up? I said, who? He said, Dr. Phil. I had just left Dr. Phil an hour earlier, right, and gone to my hotel. He did not know I was staying there. And when I had left the show, the producer said to me, heather, you were so good. Everyone in the control room was saying how great you were on the show. I said, well, then you need to have me back. I need to have my own show, which means I need to come back on this show again. Like, let's go, right? Get me in front of some more producers. So she said, okay, I definitely will bring it up at the next meeting and see how we can fit you in again. P.S. you've got to plant the seed. Whatever it is that you want, you've got to speak it into existence and put it out there. The worst they can say is no. Cut to. He comes to my hotel room. He's like, Dr. Phil is here. And I just talked to him, and I said, well, what happened? He said, I saw him. So I jumped up and ran over, and he said. I said, hey, Dr. Phil, I heard Heather Monaghan was on your show today. And he says, yeah, she was. And my friend says, well, how was she? And he said, she was great. She knows she's great. Blah, blah, blah. And my friend says, well, you know, you need to have her back on again. She's really good. She's been on Steve Harvey and these other shows, and he starts selling me to Dr. Phil. And Dr. Phil says to him, you know what? You're right. That's a great idea. Thank you for grabbing me and bringing that to my attention. So it was just one of those, yet again, serendipitous moments, right? Like what you put out there, you could be speaking into existence. You've got to start believing it to receive it. If you wanna receive that blessing and that gift that you're praying for, you've gotta believe it's your truth and it's happening. And as I was talking to my friend, we were both smiling so big, and he said, you know what, Heather? I'm not shocked that just happened. You know, as you continue to do good in the world and you continue to put your best foot forward. He said, this place is magic, and magical things happen here every day. And I'm just so excited to be a part of it. You know, he has this belief, too, and it's just. It's so important. The people you surround yourself with and them believing your dreams and them advocating for you and being a part of it, it's just. It's such a powerful feeling that I am so grateful for all of the good people in my life. I'm so grateful for my friend advocating for me, and I'm grateful for these serendipitous moments. Back to serendipitous moments. Cut to. Earlier this year, I had Coach Mike on my podcast. Coach Mike is a regular on the Dr. Phil Show. And when Mike and I got off the air, we were talking and he said, hey, Heather, you know what you need? And I said, what? He said, you need a platform like the Dr. Phil Show. You need something huge where you can start reaching millions of people so you can start selling millions of books and millions of podcast downloads. I'm like, yeah, sounds great, but how in the world am I gonna get on the Dr. Phil Show? Cut to this week. We all know what happened. So start being open to these possibilities, open to these opportunities, and open to the ch that sometimes things just come together. You don't have to white knuckle them. You can allow for them. You can surrender to something so much greater than you that could be orchestrating everything for the life that you're meant to have. Right? So start thinking bigger, start asking for more, and make sure that you're firing your villains and surrounding yourself with good people who are lifting you up and have your back. Okay, now I got a DM on LinkedIn, and I want to read it to you. Very nice woman was sending me this amazing DM about my book and my podcast and how they've impacted her life, and it's incredible what she's overcome. Super proud of her. I'm going to keep her name anonymous just to protect her. Okay, Heather, in closing, there's a topic I would love to hear you elaborate on in the podcast you recently posted on LinkedIn. There are two types of people in your life. Those who would judge you for changing, and those who would celebrate you for growing. My friends have been closer than family, but the past couple of years have been rocky, and I've lost a lot of my old friends, which can be really hard. Like, that feels sad. These are people I connected with over a decade ago. Some of them were coming out of divorce. I don't know if I would have gotten through tough times like divorce in my own life without my friends because it was so hard. I would complain, I would cry. I had a lot of growing to do, but they still supported me. The difference is, through all this, I was going to therapy. I was working on growing. I was going back to school. I was doing the things I needed to heal and grow. I know way too much about their situations to ignore it. And it kills me to see them not growing, to stay in bad relationships and when they're capable of so much more. That is frustrating and hard. But we can never change people. We can only change the people that we choose to be around. Okay. It took me a while to realize that it didn't matter what I saw of them if they couldn't see it in themselves. True story. The good times I once had are now very limited to an occasional outing here or there because we're just in very different places. While I care about them, it stresses me out to hang around with them. I don't know what to do with their stagnant lives, their insecurities, and my growth. I have a voice now. I have boundaries now. And I have the sky's the limit view of life. Good for you. I'm so proud of you. I've been told that sometimes I sound egotistical when I speak like this. Don't you think you're, you know, think too much of yourself when you're around people who are thinking less of themselves? They may see it that way. I don't see it that way. I think I'm. I'm proud of you. Like, live your best life. Bring your joy, Go for more. Like, heck, yeah. It's all of it. But they don't. The people she's describing don't feel that way because they don't feel that good about themselves. So they're threatened by her feeling good about herself, which this happens. And sometimes you just outgrow people. Guys, it happens, okay? Anyone who does the inner work will likely face similar challenges, of course, from family, friends, et cetera. Any advice you can offer on tried transitions would be of great value. Here's the thing. As we change, the way we see the world changes, right? So somebody who you might have seen as incredible at one point in your life when you were struggling, going through divorce, doubting yourself as you've grown and become stronger, and they haven't changed, you're going to see them incredibly different. For me, I remember when I got fired back when I was 43 years old, and basically my whole community and network disappeared overnight because I was no longer in that industry I had been in for 20 years. And so many of those people, I realized, were only attached to me because of my job title, my position. And once that was gone, they didn't really care that much about me. At first, I was so sad. I remember thinking, this is so sad. You know, these people don't love me. But in time, I realized what a blessing that was that I got to expose them for not loving me. I don't want fake friends around me. I want real ride or die. And the more you clear space for those people who aren't meant for you any longer, the more you create space for the right people to be attracted to you. So you need to start showing up as that most powerful version of yourself, that most real version of yourself, that most flawed version of who you are, owning it and rocking it as you should be. And as you do that, clear the deck for the people who aren't there to support you, who don't want a part of this 2.0 version of your life, that's okay. That's about them. That's not about you. And people should be able to empower themselves to make their choices, that is fine. But you want to find the people who are the ride or die, who know the real you, applaud the real you, and are there to help you grow and challenge you, not try to hold you back. That domino effect, for me, I cleared the deck on so many people right away when I got fired. Then over time, I. I saw that my personal relationship was not helping me to grow, it was holding me back. And that's when I ended my Engagement, right? Like there was this domino effect of things that I opened my eyes to things I wasn't seeing before, and I started growing and changing. And as I changed, I saw people differently because they weren't changing or growing. And so I outgrew those situations. And that's okay. That's part of life. You see it happen with kids all the time, and no one says it's an issue, right? My son hangs around with different people today as a freshman in high school than he did when he was in kindergarten. And that's fine. And people get it. So why can't it be the same for adults? It can. At the same time, I have some of my best friends in the world I've been best friends with since I was 15 years old, right? And we've gone through different phases in our life where we've been closer and then we've grown apart and we've grown back together, and it's just. It's so cool to see. And all of that is okay, right? It doesn't have to be one way or another. You just. You want people who support you, who know the real you, who encourage you, and who are your champions to be riding with you. And those people can change throughout your life. Just show up as that real version of you. And the more you put that real you out there, the more you're gonna attract those right people for you now. And it's never too late to make a new friend or start a new relationship. There are plenty of people in your life that you don't know you're gonna meet yet that are gonna show up in your life and love you and be your champion if you're willing to allow it. So put yourself out there, walk up and introduce yourself to people. The next time someone wants to introduce you to someone, take the meeting, right? Just start showing up for things, being open minded. Go to a new church like VU and immerse yourself in the community. Start talking to people. And when people send you a dm, respond like I did to this woman that wrote this note. You know, be open to the possibility, Be open to the opportunity. And just show up, putting your best foot forward, the real version of you. And watch you start attracting those right people to you. And I can't wait to hear your stories. Send me a dm. Let me know if you have any questions. And if you like the show, please share it. It helps so much. No one succeeds alone, and that includes your girl right here. Okay. As always, after I get out of church, I need to leave you with this parting wisdom that I get before I leave, which is the best is yet to come. And it sure is for me. And I know it is for you, too. Until next week. Keep creating your confidence. You know I will be. I decide to change that dynamic. I couldn't be more excited for what you're going to hear. Start learning and growing. Inevitably something will happen. No one succeeds alone. You don't stop and look around once in a while. You could miss it. Come on this journey with me.