Crissle’s Couch – Session 1 (November 11, 2025)

Host: Crissle
Podcast: Crissle’s Couch by CAKE MEDIA

Episode Overview

The inaugural episode of Crissle’s Couch sets the tone for a uniquely warm, irreverent, and insightful advice show that blends humor, candor, and compassion. Drawing on her decade-long podcasting experience and background in mental health counseling, Crissle introduces the series as a “metaphorical couch”—a safe and real space for listeners’ letters, personal reflection, and challenging discussions. Each letter receives practical, sensitive, and sometimes tough love advice, with co-host Jade contributing personal anecdotes and further perspective.

Main Discussion Points and Listener Letters

[00:02] Introduction: The Crissle’s Couch Approach

• Crissle welcomes listeners, describing the podcast as a “place for honesty and laughter” where real-life struggles and joys are examined together.
• Emphasizes that though she holds a degree in mental health counseling, she is not a therapist—an important disclaimer for the show.
• Format includes listener letters, solo musings, and guest conversations, combining “culture, critique, and care.”

[01:24] Listener Letter 1: Setting Boundaries with an Overwhelming Friend

From: “Summer Walker, Texas Ranger”
Issue: Overwhelmed by a friend’s constant trauma dumping; feels unable to set boundaries as a self-proclaimed “empath.”

Key Advice and Insights

• Clarity is Step One:
  “First, Summer has to figure out exactly what her boundaries are… It’s always hardest the first time.” – Crissle [03:21]
• Boundaries are Self-Care, Not Punishment:
  “Boundaries aren't being mean. You're not punishing somebody… You have to advocate for yourself, 'cause who the hell else is gonna do it?” – Crissle [05:25]
• Prepare for Pushback:
  “Normally, people who act like that are very used to depending on your lack of boundaries… underneath that defensiveness… is a fear that they're no longer gonna have that caretaker in their lives.” – Crissle [06:16]
• Boundaries with Consequences Matter:
  “Boundaries without consequences are just suggestions. They mean nothing if you're not gonna follow through.” – Crissle [07:30]

Highlight Moment

• Light teasing about the letter’s creative pseudonym (“I don’t think you said Summer Walker, Texas Ranger enough” – Crissle [03:08]), establishing the show’s playful but direct tone.

[07:43] Listener Letter 2: Feeling Stuck After Divorce and Single Parenting

From: “Naomi Campbell's Homestyle Chicken Noodle Soup”
Issue: 43-year-old single mom feels like a failure post-divorce, struggles with depression, and compares herself negatively to others.

Key Advice and Insights

• Self-Compassion Over Comparison:
  “Please don’t compare my Instagram highlight reel to your real life.” – Crissle [08:39]
• Invisible Labor Acknowledged:
  “You're using all the energy you do have to take care of your son… at least you're not neglecting your baby.” – Crissle [10:03]
• ‘Spoons Theory’ for Energy Management:
  “On any given day, you have a certain number of spoons available to use… once your spoons are gone, you have no more.” – Crissle [10:47]
• Behind-the-Scenes Reality:
  Discusses privilege, luck, and the incomplete reality depicted on social media.
  “I was lucky to find so much success in the entertainment industry… that luck is a huge part of the reason why I’m not in your exact shoes.” – Crissle [12:10]
• Explore Support Systems:
  “Look for single mom groups in your area. That’s a great way to make friends and increase community.” – Crissle [16:28]
• Concrete Steps for Self-Care:
  “If your dad can watch the kid once or twice a week, even just going out for a walk… Something where you’re not spending the energy that you have in taking care of someone else, but in taking care of you.” – Crissle [17:06]

Memorable Moment

• “May he have the day he deserves.” – Jade, speaking wryly about the cheating ex-husband. [15:35]
• Supportive admonition: “You didn't do this to you, girl. These are life circumstances. You're a single mother trying to survive in this capitalist hellscape. And it's hard.” – Crissle [15:46]

[18:40] Listener Letter 3: Relationship with a Partner Who Never Admits Fault

From: “Cheryl Lee Ralph Tresvant”
Issue: Feels invalidated and blamed in disagreements with her boyfriend; considering cohabiting with him and his ailing (possibly toxic) mother.

Key Advice and Insights

• Red Flags of Accountability:
  “People who can never admit when they're wrong… That is a giant red flag. It don’t get gianter or redder than that.” – Crissle [20:26]
• Refusal to Admit Fault = Dealbreaker:
  “Refusing to ever admit when you fuck up is [a reason to break up].” – Crissle [20:34]
• Stand Firm, Don’t Self-Gaslight:
  “You know good and damn well you did not drink up all the Kool Aid except two swallows and put it back in the ice box. I know I did not do that. And I’m not gonna take the blame for it.” – Crissle [23:04]
• Don’t Move In or Combine Finances:
  “Under no circumstances should you move in with this man or attach yourself to him legally in any way.” – Crissle [22:27]
• Name the Control Tactics:
  “All these are control tactics, honestly… That's someone who is not emotionally mature enough to share your life with.” – Jade and Crissle [24:27-24:30]
• Family Ties Not Your Responsibility:
  “Now his mama’s sick, so I can’t really push—yes, the fuck you can! That ain’t your mama. Do not allow that woman to move in with you.” – Crissle [25:16]

Notable Quotes

• “All roads are leading to him and his mother terrorizing your fucking life.” – Jade [26:28]
• “My mama can't even live with me, much less some nigga mama. It's not happening.” – Crissle [26:49]

[27:58] Listener Letter 4: Husband Shuts Down After Father’s Cancer Diagnosis

From: “Ella Mae West”
Issue: After family losses, husband is emotionally withdrawn and avoids family events; she wonders how to support him.

Key Advice and Insights

• Differentiate Between Support and Forcing Openness:
  “I think I would try to accept that his feelings about his father are obviously very complicated, and he just is not ready to share them with anybody, including you.” – Crissle [31:12]
• Assess for Depression or Harm:
  “Is he struggling at work… struggling with substances, abandoning his responsibilities? Is he withdrawing…?” – Crissle [31:11]
• Concrete Support Suggestions:
  “Continue to show your support in the best way that you can… maybe [his family members] could write him a letter so that it's something he can read and process in his own time.” – Jade [33:18]
• Don’t Carry All The Weight:
  “I hope you don't feel like you need to be his end-all, be-all of support, because that will then be very heavy on you.” – Jade [32:54]
• Encourage Therapy if Possible:
  “If you can find a Black male therapist, bonus points if he matches y’alls ethnicity… but most men, if they're not gonna talk to their wives, they are not gonna talk to a therapist.” – Crissle [36:04]
• Let Family Share the Load:
  “Ask the family for some help. I'm really curious to know how this family showed up. I'm really—but ask them for some help. You can't handle this all on your own.” – Jade [36:51]

Memorable Moment

• “DJs are always a great connection. Don’t sleep with them.” – Jade and Crissle, offering comic asides about getting plugged into new social circles. [47:56]

[38:35] Listener Letter 5: New City, New Loneliness, and Clinging to a Situationship

From: “Hattie McDam. Daniel”
Issue: Moved to a big city, feels lonely and attaches to a man she’s casually dated, unsure if her feelings are real or circumstantial.

Key Advice and Insights

• Reflect on Your Own Counsel:
  “What would you tell your client in this situation?” – Crissle [41:48]
• He’s Told You the Truth:
  “A man that you’ve already been casually dating for three months, turning around and being like, 'let’s just start a friendship'… that sounded to me like he was trying to let you down easy.” – Crissle [42:23]
• Focus on Platonic and Broader Social Networks:
  “Making friends can be so challenging as an adult… but you’re in a graduate program. I made so many great friends in grad school.” – Crissle [45:01]
• Explore the City, Be Social:
  Advice to join activities—sports, church, trivia, bar events, cooking classes, Meetups, connecting with classmates (several examples), and not to romanticize the one relationship.
• Humor and Life Lessons:
  “Don’t try to be attached to no dick.” – Crissle [50:47]

Memorable Moments

• “If they play drums… especially a Drummer.” (on not hooking up with DJ/musician types) – [48:09]
• “Just me and my mean ass cat…” – Jade, envisioning a day of new social balance [49:27]

Notable Quotes (with Timestamps)

• “Boundaries without consequences are just suggestions.” – Crissle [07:30]
• “Please don’t compare my Instagram highlight reel to your real life.” – Crissle [08:39]
• “You're a single mother trying to survive in this capitalist hellscape. And it's hard.” – Crissle [15:46]
• “All these are control tactics, honestly.” – Jade [24:27]
• “Stand on it. I know good and damn well I did not drink up all the Kool Aid…” – Crissle [23:04]
• “Don’t allow that woman to move in with you. Do not allow that man.” – Crissle [25:16]
• “Ask the family for some help. You can’t handle this all on your own.” – Jade [36:51]
• “Don’t try to be attached to no dick.” – Crissle [50:47]
• “You have to advocate for yourself, because who the hell else is gonna do it?” – Crissle [05:38]
• “Comparison is the thief of joy. For real.” – Crissle [13:24]

Episode Structure / Timestamps for Important Segments

• [00:02] – Welcome and show’s mission/introduction by Crissle.
• [01:24] – Listener Letter 1: Overloading friend and boundaries.
• [07:43] – Listener Letter 2: Single motherhood, self-worth, and depression.
• [18:40] – Listener Letter 3: Partner never takes blame, toxic family dynamics.
• [27:58] – Listener Letter 4: Husband’s emotional withdrawal after illness in his family.
• [38:35] – Listener Letter 5: New city, loneliness, clinging to a friendship/situationship.

Tone & Takeaways

True to its promise, Crissle’s Couch brings sharp truth, empathy, and wit. Crissle models a balance of practical advice and humor, unflinchingly naming red flags and societal pressures, but never letting compassion slip. Listeners will feel seen, encouraged, and challenged to reflect on their own needs, boundaries, and self-advocacy. Whether it’s navigating overbearing friends, single parenting, rocky partnerships, or starting over in a new city, the couch is a space for real talk—often with laughs, always with care.

Closing Reminder:
If you have a question for Crissle, she invites listener letters at advicerystlescouch.com, promising more culture, critique, and care next week.