Crissle’s Couch – Session 11 (Jan 20, 2026)

Host: Crissle | Guest: Chef Jade

Main Theme and Episode Overview

This episode of Crissle’s Couch is a vibrant deep-dive into listener advice letters, focusing on emotional wellness, relationships, and self-care, with equal parts humor, tough love, and candid reflection. Crissle is joined by the ever-entertaining Chef Jade for a lively session marked by warmth, sharp insights, and the occasional hilarious tangent. The episode tackles a range of issues: childhood wounds, modern dating anxieties, the reality of long-term relationships, and complicated family dynamics, all while upholding Crissle's signature approach of care, candor, and community.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Emotional Reactions to Triumphant Movie Moments

Letter Writer: "Tyler Perry Steakhouse"
Topic: Why do big, triumphant movie scenes provoke intense crying?

• Crissle explains these moments are orchestrated to provoke emotional reactions:

  "They orchestrate them for that exact moment to provoke that emotional response...the music is like building up to this giant swell and it’s like... Oh." (02:46)

• She suggests the cry could be tapping into unresolved childhood longing for rescue or transformation, especially after taking on adult roles too young due to family trauma:

  "There's a part of you that's still that six year old little boy who's waiting for that big moment where... someday, life changes for the better and you get to live happily ever after." (03:50)

• Jade and Crissle normalize emotional release and encourage the use of a movie playlist if it feels cathartic:

  "As long as it’s not harmful for you and it’s not making you backslide... then do get what you need, niece." (04:27)

• The segment includes banter about what moments make Jade cry (e.g., Beaches, Crooklyn) and playful debate about emotional triggers.

2. Dating, Disclosure, and STI Stigma

Letter Writer: "Janelle James Baldwin"
Topic: Fears around disclosing cold sores/possible HSV to a new partner.

• Crissle and Jade bust the myth that age (~40) makes unprotected sex risk-free for pregnancy:

  "The idea that just because you finna be 40 means you're not gonna get pregnant...famous last words." (09:27)

• Both highlight HSV's prevalence and stigma, urging honest but non-panicked disclosure:

  • Jade:

    "Don't jump the gun...be honest...give that person the option and the chance to show themselves." (11:42)

  • Crissle:

    "If you do test positive for HSV and he decides that's not something he can deal with...then I don't think this is the person that God would have brought into your life." (12:57)

• Crissle notes a pattern of self-sabotage and fear of rejection rooted in past hurt:

  "You’re trying to do things that you think will hurt less. Maybe, but I think it's negligible...this could not possibly be someone who was destined to be in your life." (15:40)

• Jade underscores: Don’t assume rejection before it happens, don’t dilute yourself before challenging the real issue.

  "Give yourself an opportunity to handle things point by point." (18:11)

3. Nineteen Years, No Ring, and Growing Apart

Letter Writer: "Sarah Jane Fonda"
Topic: 19-year relationship with no proposal, lack of intimacy, and escalating disrespect.

• Both hosts are floored by the duration without commitment:

  "You've been together two whole decades. When is the one day?" (24:01)

• Crissle warns about the "sunk cost fallacy"—not letting time already spent determine your future:

  "The 19 years you have spent with this man have passed also. Whether they're a waste depends on your perspective. But they have passed and you will not get them back." (26:07)

• Jade and Crissle stress how staying sets a damaging example for kids:

  "They also see him being mean to you, right? See how he's treating you? ...That’s building something within them on what they Will and will not or can and cannot tolerate in a relationship." (26:20)

• Their advice is clear and strong:

  "If you don't want me, then don't talk to me. ...He should come home one day and you, the kids, and the dog is gone." - Crissle (24:00, 29:04)

4. Social Anxiety, Partner Embarrassment, and Self-Awareness

Letter Writer: "Aretha Franklin Saint"
Topic: Girlfriend feels embarrassed when strangers laugh at her boyfriend’s voice and is struggling to accept her feelings.

• Crissle and Jade praise the letter writer’s self-awareness:

  "I'm so glad you came around to that point by yourself because I was about to say you've asked this man to stop chit chatting or change the tone of his voice because other people laugh at him." (35:58)

• Jade questions whether the public reactions are as bad as perceived or amplified by anxiety. Crissle agrees but chooses to address the letter as described.

• They agree the problem lies with the rude bystanders, not the boyfriend, and that the writer’s anxiety makes this harder:

  "Other people's opinions need to not have such an effect on you. ...Why then would somebody else's opinions on the way his voice sounds be able to shake the way I feel about this man?" (40:40)

• Emphasize focusing on positive traits and "pulling confidence" from a secure, unbothered partner:

  "Maybe you pull from his confidence...he don't give a fuck. ...Realize that strangers don't...have any effect on what goes on in your household, in your life." (40:17, 40:25)

5. Family Chaos, Enabling, and the Limits of Responsibility

Letter Writer: "Vanessa Williams Shatner"
Topic: A brother’s continuous chaos, abusive relationship, possible CPS intervention, and familial guilt.

• Crissle and Jade unpack generational dysfunction and the dangers of codependency:

  "Boundaries only don’t exist with family when everyone agrees that boundaries don’t exist. As soon as somebody says, I actually do have a boundary...then boundaries do exist." (49:03)

• They highlight the risks of stepping in as a caregiver for kids if the system intervenes, and the importance of clear personal boundaries—even if it means contentious decisions.

  "You cannot be connected in a healthy, safe way to somebody who doesn’t think that they should have boundaries or restrictions on the things that they do to other people." (51:08)

• Jade:

  "There’s some boundaries it looks like you need to set completely for yourself at this point. Not just with your brother, but also with your mother." (57:05, 57:11)

• Crissle delves into the real, lifelong harm of emotional abuse and neglect children witness (65:41), closing with:

  "If for nobody else, step in on behalf of them kids and be like, everybody has got to grow the fuck up. And I do mean today." (65:55)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On trauma and movie crying:

"Maybe these movies connect with you and resonate with you so deeply because there's a part of you that's still that six year old little boy who's waiting for that big moment..."
— Crissle (03:50)

On sunk cost fallacy:

"The 19 years you have spent with this man have passed also...You will not get them back. Regardless of how you look at it."
— Crissle (26:07)

Advice on risky disclosure in dating:

"Give that person the option and the chance to show themselves as a person...you have to be honest in that way."
— Jade (11:42)

Advice to a struggling aunt:

"If you and your mama don’t hold your brother accountable, it sound like the city, state, county will do in just a matter of time."
— Crissle (64:13)

On hard boundaries:

"You gotta nip this shit in the bud now. Got to."
— Jade (50:33)

Classic Crissle humor:

"You, the kids, and the dog is gone. Straight like that. I’m at my mama’s house ‘cause I don’t know who the fuck you think you talking to." (29:04)

Important Segment Timestamps

• [02:46]: Movie emotions, childhood trauma, and healthy emotional outlets
• [09:27]: Dating, disclosure, and confronting STI stigma
• [24:00]: 19-year relationship, lack of commitment, and knowing when to leave
• [35:58]: Anxiety, embarrassment in relationships, and building self-confidence
• [47:29]: Family chaos, boundaries, and the consequences of enabling
• [65:41]: Impact of emotional neglect and abuse on children

Tone, Delivery, and Closing

The episode maintains a conversational, humorous, and at times raw and vulnerable tone. Both hosts weave in personal anecdotes, teasing, and cultural references, always circling back to empathy and sound advice. Their dynamic banter provides levity even as they engage serious topics, modeling how honesty and care can coexist. Jade’s interjections and Crissle’s centering wisdom make the show feel like an intimate and judgment-free gathering among friends.

For more advice, follow Crissle’s Couch online or send in your own questions. The couch is always open—just know you’ll get the truth, with love and a laugh along the way.