Session 16 ft. Jade

Summary

Crissle’s Couch – Session 16 ft. Jade

Date: February 24, 2026
Host: Krystal (Crissle)
Guest: Jade
Description: Honest, humorous, and heartfelt advice and reflections on culture, family, relationships, and growth, with listener letters forming the backbone of each session.

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Episode Overview

In this Black History Month wrap-up episode, Crissle is joined by her close friend and podcast partner Jade for candid, unfiltered advice sessions. Listener letters cover a wide range of real-life issues shaping Black urban experience—housing and health instability in NYC, relationship roadblocks, family pain and boundaries, solo healing, and grieving lost love. Throughout, Crissle and Jade provide sharp truth, empathy, laughter, and accountability. This isn’t therapy, but it just might help.

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Key Segments & Insights

[03:46] - Introduction & Catch-Up

• Jade returns as guest for an honest conversation.
• Light-hearted banter about public drama, parents, and celeb antics sets a relaxed, sisterly tone.
• Quote: “That was like my dad…if my father was yelling at a nigga in public, I’d be like, he probably deserved that shit.” – Jade (04:32)

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[04:51] – Letter 1: Patricia – Surviving New York City as a Black Woman

Context ([04:51]–[17:32])

Patricia, a native New Yorker, details how moving back to NYC has radically hurt her health and stability. She’s confronted by health declines, homelessness, frustrations with overworked and often unsupportive social services, family pressure to just “push through,” and the reality that NYC is a “hub for stress.”

Key Points

• The unglamorous side of NYC life: high cost, lack of community support, housing challenges, and “Black women are stressed and we’re dying from it” (05:36).
• Struggles with case managers/social workers who are “overworked and underpaid”—and sometimes take that out on those they serve.
• Family/community expectations that suggest endurance and stoicism at the cost of mental/physical health.

Advice from Crissle & Jade

• Both agree: NYC has unique allure, but also unique struggles, especially for Black lifelong residents facing systemic obstacles.
• If staying in New York is “costing you your health and you’re struggling”—give yourself permission to leave for well-being, regardless of external opinions.
• Prioritize self and family: “Anybody who has a problem with that is not thinking about what’s best for you. They thinking about the fact that they just want you there.” – Krystal (16:10)
• Real talk about the pride and messiness of navigating housing loss and shelter systems in NYC.
• Encouragement to “let go of the guilt” and do what brings peace, even if it means moving away.
• Quote: “Maybe you could either say, ‘Hey, suck my dick,’ or you could say, ‘Nigga, I’m dealing with high blood pressure. I got gout, I got bunions…’” – Krystal (08:44)
• Memorable Moment: Transparent admission of staying in a shelter and the lesson in humility and empathy it brought (12:24–15:49).

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[23:25] – Letter 2: Irene – Partner’s Career Insecurity Projected in Their Relationship

Context ([23:25]–[36:23])

Irene, finishing her PhD and entering her partner’s industry, notices her boyfriend’s increasing apathy, snide remarks, and projection of his career frustrations onto her as she ascends.

Key Points

• Classic case of a partner’s ego/insecurity turning celebratory moments into “venting sessions” about his own dissatisfaction.
• Irene feels she is unable to enjoy her wins or look to her partner for support.

Advice from Crissle & Jade

• This isn’t rare: When partner’s employment/ego stumbles, it can sour dynamics (“When you were up, I was supportive, right? And now that I’m up…you being nasty with me.” – Jade, 28:34).
• Direct communication is needed: Call out the projection, express how it feels, and set a boundary.
• Suggests couples therapy as a low-stakes way to get both partners on a healthy path—sometimes it reveals blindspots for both partners.
• Validation of Irene’s need for self-protection and advocacy for accountability in relationships.
• Quote: “You don’t get to hurt me with your challenging space.” – Krystal (36:20)

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[36:25] – Letter 3: Alice – Grieving the Family You Deserved

Context ([36:25]–[56:29])

Alice, a 30-year-old Black queer man, comes from a difficult family dynamic: a defensive, sometimes abusive mother; a neglectful, enabling father; and the burden of guilt for going low contact. He fears vulnerability with his parents after past betrayals and struggles with the grief of not having the safe/supportive family he needed.

Key Points

• Black cultural/familial pressure to endure and “be loyal no matter what.”
• The pain of parental betrayal and denial (“Grieving the family I wish I had. It’s grieving the family I deserved.” – Krystal, 40:25).
• The futility of boundaries without consequences: “Boundaries without consequences are suggestions.” – Krystal (42:25)
• Execution: If boundaries are crossed, enforce consequences (hang up, limit contact).

Advice from Crissle & Jade

• Normalize grief for the absent parental love many deserved (“Most people have at least one emotionally immature parent.” – Krystal, 52:37).
• Guilt is unwarranted when choosing self-protection over engagement with abuse/neglect.
• Acceptance is hard, but comes with peace; you can’t force parents to become what you needed as a child.
• Don’t disclose vulnerability to unsafe people (“Not disclosing your mental health diagnosis to them makes complete sense because they have demonstrated time and time again they are not safe people.” – Krystal, 49:31)
• Practical: Consequences, distance, and a tough-minded acceptance are the path to healing.
• Memorable Moment: The group’s visceral reaction to Alice’s mother’s dangerous interference with his therapist (48:49).

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[56:33] – Letter 4: Nino – When You’re Growing but Your Circle Isn’t

Context ([56:33]–[69:43])

Nino, a Virgo, has made enormous progress in therapy—developing boundaries, self-regulation, and the ability to have tough conversations. The downside? Friends and family, unaccustomed to her new self, now scorn her as “a bitch” or standoffish.

Key Points

• The isolation of solo growth: “I feel like I’m on an island by myself and everything I say or do is taken the wrong way.” (57:17)
• Sometimes the new “therapized” you can come off as insufferable or superior—a “born again Christian” syndrome.
• Gray area: Maybe she is a bit preachy, but maybe her circle also wants her to regress to her old patterns so as not to disrupt their comfort.

Advice from Crissle & Jade

• Self-awareness is key: Is it you, or are they resisting your growth?
• Don’t force others onto your healing journey. Example carries more power than proclamations.
• Acceptance: Sometimes your job is simply to accept others aren’t interested in changing—and to reserve your energy and peace accordingly.
• Quote: “Trying to strong arm niggas into growing up is not going to work. They have to want it for themselves.” – Krystal (67:59)
• Mix grace with boundaries—communicate gently, but firmly.

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[69:48] – Letter 5: Rosa Parks and Rec – Grief, Dating, and Self-Compassion

Context ([69:48]–[81:24])

Rosa writes about a recent situationship: Her not-really-boyfriend, “Mike,” was distant when her mother was hospitalized. After a letting loose and a tipsy mistake (flirting with a guy at a party, then telling Mike about it on her way home), Mike ends things. Rosa’s mother passes away soon after, and Mike doesn’t reach out.

Key Points

• Pain of losing support in a vulnerable moment—then losing a parent, then being ghosted.
• Desire to apologize to Mike, but wondering if she should just “take the L” and move on.

Advice from Crissle & Jade

• “The problem with reaching out in the hopes that closure might come is that it might not. And then you feel stupid and you don’t get the closure.” – Krystal (72:32)
• Only apologize if it’s truly for closure and accountability, not in hope of rekindling.
• Mike’s lack of basic empathy and communication signals he’s not worth further emotional investment.
• Normalize screwing up and acting out while in grief and stress—“Even GS mess up sometimes, Rosa.”
• Call friends for support, not the person hurting you.
• Memorable Moment: “Your mommy was sick. You done lost your man. Well, your man and your mother, you know, within a very short amount of time…” – Krystal (78:47)

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• “[NYC] is alluring in that way. It’s special. And as a native, I’m sure you don’t wanna leave… But if living here is causing health problems… then I think moving back down south is probably the most responsible thing to do.” – Krystal (08:47)
• “Boundaries without consequences are suggestions.” – Krystal (42:25)
• “Guilt is for when we’ve done something wrong and we know we’ve violated our own standards, our own morals, the things we believe in…” – Krystal (45:33)
• “Trying to strong arm niggas into growing up is not going to work. They have to want it for themselves.” – Krystal (67:59)
• “Mike’s kind of a dick, man. And you didn’t do anything wild enough for him to be acting like…especially with your mother passing.” – Jade (73:24)
• “[Acceptance is] the hardest thing for me to do was to accept it because I refused. I said, ‘I’m not going to accept it because that means it’s okay.’… It’s more like accepting it is just being able to acknowledge it.” – Krystal & Jade (51:16–51:26)

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General Tone & Takeaways

• Warm, hilarious, real talk mixed with compassion and sobering truths.
• “Tough love” is provided through a Black, womanist, city-raised lens: practical, empathetic, and bracingly honest.
• Recurring drumbeat—self-protection and personal peace must come first, even when culture and family expect endless patience and sacrifice.
• The hosts encourage accountability, boundaries, giving yourself grace, and finding pride in growth—even if that’s lonely at first.

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [04:51] – Letter 1: Surviving NYC, Health, Community Pressure
• [23:25] – Letter 2: Relationship Strain over Career Insecurity
• [36:25] – Letter 3: Grieving the Family You Deserved
• [56:33] – Letter 4: Outgrowing Your Circle
• [69:48] – Letter 5: Grief, Dating, and Letting Go

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This episode of Crissle’s Couch is a deep, resonant listen for anyone navigating stress, family scars, complicated love, or the lonely reality of healing and growing ahead of your circle. Equal parts laughter, nods of recognition, and hard-earned wisdom.

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Next Steps: If you want your question answered, email [e-mail].

Transcript

[Krystal]

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[Krystal]

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Hi. Hi. And welcome to Crystal's Couch, the show where I answer your letters for advice and talk to the most interesting people in the world. I am rejoined by Jade, of all Jades, my sister. Thank you for being here again, girlie pie. You're so welcome.

[Jade]

In honor of Tony Yayo on the airplane.

[Krystal]

Wow. That was.

[Jade]

That was like my dad.

[Krystal]

N word behavior. I said, y' all are doing this in Delta 1 right now.

[Jade]

I was like, do we.

[Krystal]

Do we not care about the no Fly List? Right? I said, do y' all know the feds?

[Jade]

Like, they don't give a fuck about

[Krystal]

Ja Rule or Tony Yayo. Y' all are pushing 50. Let it go.

[Jade]

No, but if my father was yelling at a nigga in public, I'd be like, he probably deserved that shit.

[Krystal]

Well, that's very specific to your dad. But anyway, Jade is back to help me answer some of your questions. And we are excited to dive into the interview, aren't we, Jade?

[Jade]

Yes, we are.

[Krystal]

Who's up first for wrapping up Black History Month?

[Jade]

Oh, yes. Patricia Arabath is our first listener. And she says, dear Crystal, I love Being a native New Yorker.

[Krystal]

Oh, same, yes.

[Jade]

Born and raised in Harlem. But with that said, I left as soon as I turned 17. Understand, Crystal?

[Krystal]

That's valid.

[Jade]

I have been coming and going for years. I spent seven years down south and in a whole other country in Asia, and silly me, I came back. My condolences. My community is the type to not be super supportive unless people are bringing a new child into this world or doing something outstanding. It seems like my health has declined coming back to New York due to stress. I should have started this thing, so sorry. Okay, start that over. It seems like my health has declined coming back to New York due to stress. I now have a bad heart, anxiety and blood clot. Since returning to America, advocating for myself has been hell on wheels. But when I do get treatments, doctors here usually say we should have done more monitoring. It's just rare for this diagnosis to happen in your demographic. Black women are stressed and we're dying from it. And as everyone knows, NYC is a hub for stress.

[Krystal]

Very true.

[Jade]

The only time I've ever been able to afford a place to live has been when I left New York. I have gone through the ringer of being homeless in homeless shelters last year, losing funding for rapid rehousing, and ending up in different family shelters due to budget cuts. Mm. Sometimes it feels like I'm dealing with someone who couldn't get their master's degree, so they became a case manager instead.

[Krystal]

Oop, oop. And I. Oop. Sorry.

[Jade]

I was like, that's a little shady, right?

[Krystal]

It's a little shady.

[Jade]

Everyone thinks a degree in psychology or social services is so easy to come by these days. Oh, okay. I do understand that everyone wants to be a therapist, but no one wants to genuinely help drag them.

[Krystal]

Yeah.

[Jade]

Instead of owning up the fact that they're overworked and underpaid, they just lie to you. Social service workers and shelter directors are in need of therapy that they will probably never seek.

[Krystal]

Damn.

[Jade]

This is very frustrating because I am also working towards a social work degree. And I've seen that as a black woman, if you don't have an employed husband, you're in for the most degrading experiences in the world. I'm ready to move my family down south again, but nobody understands why everyone thinks I'm overreacting and I should just struggle and push through the system. I don't want to have to deal with hell just to get a fraction of a quality life, but there's so much I do miss in NYC when I'm not here.

[Krystal]

Understood that's the problem with the city. Ok?

[Jade]

I want to be out of the system. I want to become self sufficient again. The only time I had a good salary is when I did not live in New York. Yeah, I'm an adult taking a $10 an hour pay cut. Since moving, my man went from financial tech to retail. I know you love New York ever since you moved here. So you might have different opinions, but any advice would be greatly appreciated, love. Who did I say she was? Oh, Patricia Arabath.

[Krystal]

Oh, period. Yeah, Patricia, you're right. I do love New York. And when I'm not here, missing the things about the city, certain elements of the city that you really can't find somewhere else are harder to find in other American cities anyway. I fully get that. That's why I'm still here, spending a million dollars a day in order to live here. The city is alluring in that way. It's special. And as a native, I'm sure you don't wanna leave. I'm sure if you could easily afford Harlem. And your Harlem has changed so much. Harlem has changed so much since I got here. I know the natives are like, bitch, what is this? When the whole food was the whole city.

[Jade]

The whole city. The Whole City on March 25, I

[Krystal]

was like, oh, no, we gotta get here. Okay, there's white people in the Bronx.

[Jade]

Okay, why are we all in Brownsville?

[Krystal]

Colin is so broken.

[Jade]

I'm so sorry.

[Krystal]

Yeah, no, it's bad, it's bad. They are in Brownsville. They jogging around in Brownsville unafraid. But anyway, so I. Right. I really do get the. I love New York. But if living here is causing health problems because of stress, because it's so hard to afford it, yeah, then I think moving back down south is probably the most responsible thing to do. And if people don't understand why or they think you're overreacting, you should just struggle and push through. Maybe you could either say, hey, suck my dick, or you could say, nigga, I'm dealing with high blood pressure. I got, you know, gout, I got bunions. I got, you know, like, I have a list of you having a hard

[Jade]

time making ends meet.

[Krystal]

Like, I'm really going through a lot trying to make it work in New York City and it's causing so much additional stress that it. Excuse me. It's not worth my health for me to still live here.

[Jade]

I'm also curious because I know you said your man took a. He took a pay cut and both

[Krystal]

of y' all took a pay cut.

[Jade]

Both of y' all took pay cuts.

[Krystal]

Yeah.

[Jade]

And he also is working in retail now. Um. Cause I understand also the other side of, like, relocating is very expensive. Very. It's very expensive. But it sounds like you were doing so much better when you were not at home.

[Krystal]

Mm.

[Jade]

And you have left, so you have the ability of doing it right. I'll be straight and plain with you. Right now, me and my husband do want to leave, but again, this is home, and it's so many variables. It's so expensive. We don't know exactly where we will go. He has a really great position within his school, so then, you know, you've got that added thing. But if we can, like, hop to another retail place and then transition back into the career that we originally had, and you know that you have more opportunities and you know that you'll have a better quality of life, I think you should not worry about what naysayers say. Now, if this is somebody in your direct household, that's one thing. But if this is other family members and friends and other people chiming into your decision making, who gives a fuck what they think if you know what's gonna bring you a better quality of life?

[Krystal]

Right. I think there's definitely a bigger conversation here to be had about affordability in the city, especially for New Yorkers like my daughter Lainey and your daughter Noah, who were born and raised here, and it's the only home they know. And you, Patricia.

Yeah.

And countless others. Like, there's definitely a bigger conversation to be had about, like, what it means to even be able to live in New York. But the idea that you should just be miserable and just be sick and just be in and out of shelters and in and out of housing, like, all of that is adding so much stress onto the city. That's just, like you said, it's a hub for stress. You walk outside in New York City right now, there's giant piles of snow and ice that are filthy. It's like little tinsels of dog shit sprinkled everywhere. There's puddles because the shit is kind of melting and then kind of not. And then you make your way through all of that just to go get on the train where the stress adventure only goes up. Like.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Krystal]

Living just trying to get through the day in New York is so much harder than what most people in the rest of the country could even fathom, because they get up, get in their car, drive to work, and it's very little of this sort of in the world interaction with other people that you have to deal with here. Yeah, I have very little experience in the shelter system. I stayed in a shelter for less than a week, which, yeah, my friends are still mad at me for that.

[Jade]

Yeah. Fifteen years later, I'm like, what the. What were you doing?

[Krystal]

Yeah, everybody is still mad at me for that. No, it's fine if you don't know this story. I was renting a room from a woman who did not. Her name was not on the lease for that apartment and she was not paying the rent. And so when she got evicted, I too got evicted. And I stored all my stuff in my friend Bobby's house and he begged me to stay with him until I could find another room. And I was just too proud, which I'm looking back now, and I wanna be my own ass. Because, like, girl, you went and stayed at a fucking shelter for a. Like, are you out of your mind?

[Jade]

But didn't tell. Nobody told us. A year later, I told.

[Krystal]

Only Bobby knew. And I made Bobby swear.

[Jade]

And he did not tell.

[Krystal]

And he did not tell. That's a good friend.

[Jade]

Well.

[Krystal]

Cause I knew, you know, I was like, I'm getting paid Friday. I'll get another room. Like, nobody will have to know.

[Jade]

But anywho.

[Krystal]

So, right. That spent in the shelter was very eye opening. And I was privileged at that point because they. I did have a job, first of all. And because I did have to get up and go to work, they gave me like a semi private room where it was just me and one other girl. So I really had a much nicer experience than most people do. But I do very vividly remember the caseworker doing my intake and saying, girl, you make more than I do. And I was like, yeah. I mean, that's this city. You can make a salary that in a lot of other places would be halfway decent money, but it just doesn't go as far because you're in New York and you have all this. And you said your community is only really supportive when you having a baby or, you know, winning the Nobel Peace Prize or whatever. Can't nobody just consistently produce children so that y' all decide, you know, you wanna make me a casserole or something. Right. Or be supportive.

[Jade]

But don't let that be the same people who are telling you that it's stupid for you to move.

[Krystal]

Right? And they the same ones telling you, oh, you can't leave. Well, I don't have no help here, girl.

[Jade]

Peace. The fuck?

[Krystal]

I do at least have a strong network of incredible friends here in New York who Had they known I was temporarily unhoused, they absolutely would've made something shake. Bobby was like, you're in my one bedroom apartment right now, bitch. Like, I don't. You could even have the baby.

[Jade]

I do remember I had niggas always sleeping on my couch. I don't understand this decision making, but.

[Krystal]

Right.

But I. Patricia, I was proud and hard headed. And I will say that week I spent gave me such a better understanding of what people who are far less fortunate than I am have to deal with in trying to stay housed in this city is not easy because it's not. Not easy to evict people. That means it's hard to get an apartment.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Krystal]

And the standards are high and the landlords are strict and they've only gotten greedier over the years. So I say all of that to say if you gotta go to Virginia or South Carolina or Georgia or Florida or wherever to make a much more comfortable life for you and your family and have your stress be eased. Anybody who has a problem with that is not thinking about what's best for you. They thinking about the fact that they just want you there.

[Jade]

Yeah. And that's not helpful to you, to your future, to your peace of mind, to your health. At this point, literally, your health is in jeopardy.

[Krystal]

Right.

[Jade]

And that needs to be your number one focus right now.

[Krystal]

It's understandable that people want you to stay like I have. When Kia and Fran left, I was like, why you want to leave me? Like, just Dev. Jade thinks she leaving. She not. I'm going to lie.

[Jade]

Where am I going? Where the fuck am I going? Atlanta.

[Krystal]

You hate Atlanta.

[Jade]

Hey, hey, hey. I don't want all the Atlanta people. I have great respect for Atlanta.

[Krystal]

Yeah. The overall point here being I do love New York. When I'm not here, I miss the city something terrible. I do. I spend a few days somewhere else and I'm like, yeah, get me back to my filthy home with the rats and the, you know, and the melting pot. And I do. I just love it here. But this level of stress, I don't think New York is worth it. Go where your heart and your mind and body can be free and at peace and in a place where you can build up what's best for you.

[Jade]

Absolutely.

[Krystal]

Love you, babe. Thank you so much for writing in. I pray the best for you and your people.

[Jade]

Oh, Patricia. I'm praying for your peace, your health and your peace of mind as well.

[Krystal]

And just want to say, girl, you dragged them case managers, did you?

[Jade]

But look, and you know, I First went to school for Sociology and Human Services.

[Krystal]

Oh, word.

[Jade]

That was the first major she said.

[Krystal]

So first of all, you bums couldn't get a master's degree, so now you over here doing this.

[Jade]

You bitches with a clipboard. I was like, yo,

[Krystal]

oh, yeah. And everybody want to be a therapist, but don't nobody want to help

[Jade]

you ain't lying.

[Krystal]

Ooh, that's. Ooh, girl, you did something with that one.

[Jade]

Cause I got. I'm in a. Mmm. Yes, but that's also part of what

[Krystal]

this city will do to you. The city will suck so much of the joy and the life out of you. You'll be like, I swear to God, I came here with good intentions.

[Jade]

Look, and it's also the greatest.

[Krystal]

And I ended up mean.

[Jade]

It's also the greatest place on earth.

[Krystal]

It is. You know, but I just had to point that out, like, yeah, you. I'm sure you have run into social workers and therapists and people like that in the system who are completely unhapp

[Jade]

helpful because they're exhausted. A lot of them are exhausted, undervalued.

[Krystal]

And they don't just say that. Yeah, well, mine did. Mine straight up said, you, you make more than I do business.

[Jade]

It's the greater system that is the problem.

[Krystal]

Exactly.

[Jade]

It is the greater system. Exactly. Look at what's happening with the nurse strike.

[Krystal]

Fuck you.

[Jade]

Hospitals hiring these traveling nurses instead of just paying these ladies what they supposed to have, and a few niggas, too, that they supposed to be having these

[Krystal]

very talented, very skilled nurses. Like, if you got the budget to pay the temporary girls, then why don't

[Jade]

you just pay the parentary girls?

[Krystal]

You know why?

[Jade]

Cause they're fucking evil.

[Krystal]

Yeah. Cause it's all about money.

[Jade]

And get Hochul out of here and you'll really.

[Krystal]

Hochul.

[Jade]

What? I could just. Hochul.

[Krystal]

You'll give a.

[Jade]

It's Hochul just like it's. Never mind. I'm not saying her name, please. It's Hochul.

[Krystal]

Okay, what name did you give her? Patricia.

[Jade]

Patricia Everett.

[Krystal]

Good luck, Patricia.

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[Krystal]

Hey y' all and welcome to 2026. I know most of us have goals and aspirations for ourselves this new year and of course I'm no exception. A big one for me is optimizing the space in my New York City apartment to make it work better for me and my dog Lanie. Thankfully, Wayfair is right there as the perfect one stop shop for bedding, accent pillows, mirrors, storage solutions, and so much more.

I don't know if y' all are

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[Jade]

Jade Our next listener. I'm just starting the little thing is Irene Morgan.

[Krystal]

Ooh.

[Jade]

All right, Irene Morgan, you all should go look her up. She is like OG Rosa Parks. Anyway, Irene writes hi Crystal, I hope you're doing well. Thank you for the years of advice you've given. It's been such an honor listening to your evolution and how you approach people's feelings and emotions, and I'd like to think that listening to you has helped me become a more considerate and patient friend.

[Krystal]

How nice.

[Jade]

My partner and I have been in a relationship for almost seven years. We met at an alumni event at our university and hit it off immediately. I was drawn to him through our similar areas of specialization in our PhDs and that he worked in an industry I aspired to join. Normally, I would stay away from someone with a similar educational and career background because the art world is so small, but this connection was undeniable. Our relationship has been filled with so much love, fun, and vulnerability until recently. He has been extremely supportive of me during my PhD and I've supported him too. I am finishing my PhD and entering into the job market, the same industry in which he's working. A couple of years into us dating, he was let go from his previous job and it was fairly difficult for him to find a new position. Thankfully, he has one now, but it is not exactly in alignment with his aspirations or passions. Still, it pays the bills, which is a hard to come by these days, especially in art. Okay, and anything during my current job search he has become pretty apathetic and even made snide comments about about some of the Places where I have interviewed conversations about my job search or interviews quickly turn into venting sessions for him where he shares his discontent for his current situation and how he should be in a different, better position. I want to continue sharing my experiences with my partner, but it has become so difficult lately. I feel like I can't enjoy my wins without him having something negative to say. How do you advise I move in with this current move with this current situation? I don't want to omit major things like this from him, but I also don't want to have to have my dreams squashed by his disgruntlement.

[Krystal]

Right.

[Jade]

Much love and thank you lots. And that is from Irene Morgan.

[Krystal]

Irene Morgan. This is hard because you know what it's like when your man is happy.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Krystal]

You see how when he feels good about his job and he feels like he's walking in his purpose and alignment and all that. Y' all are having a grand time. The relationship is just peaches. But when that employment situation shakes up

[Jade]

and that little ego. Yeah.

[Krystal]

And now it's like, ooh, now I'm seeing you. When you're not happy in your full time job, when you're not feeling like

[Jade]

you're walking in your purpose, you're showing that ass.

[Krystal]

And not only are you getting mean, you're getting mean to me.

[Jade]

Yeah. And projecting onto me because.

[Krystal]

Right.

[Jade]

You know, you're feeling loserish, which is, you know, I understand the circumstances around that, but that's not fair.

[Krystal]

It isn't.

[Jade]

And you don't deserve that.

[Krystal]

I don't. I don't see why he can't vent about how unhappy he is in his current situation without tying that into your job search and, you know, your aspirations and the things you're doing. Like, why are you bringing up, like, if I'm talking about interviews I've gone on. Why are you talking about. Ugh, an interview, Huh? I wish I had.

[Jade]

And interview for a job with that lame ass company. Like, what are you doing, my nigga?

[Krystal]

Like, we are all. We are art niggas.

[Jade]

That's part of the.

[Krystal]

It's already hard to find a job. Like, yeah, yeah, this is already. And I don't. I know precious little about it, but I'm imagining the art world is pretty exclusive. The higher up you get. It's probably very white, pretty wealthy. And so even getting to that place is quite the struggle. Your man sounds like he's dealing with a lot of resentment from his job situation switching up the way that it has. Like, I don't think it has anything to do with you. I think he's disappointed that he got let go from his previous job, and he hasn't been able to find something that it might be a pay thing. It might be what he thinks is respect or dignity. It might be, you know, what he thinks he could or should be doing, those sorts of things.

[Jade]

I.

[Krystal]

When I was a kid, my father would never stay at a job for too long. He would work, but as soon as he felt like somebody said something he didn't like or he was asked to do something he didn't want to do with, he would just quit.

[Jade]

Yeah, that ego. That ego.

[Krystal]

The ego. And I. I don't know if this is. It's certainly not exclusive to people in art.

[Jade]

No.

[Krystal]

But sometimes people in the fine arts can have a very big ego about what they do. And so if that has been pinched or poked at or deflated because he lost that job, again, these are all possible reasons why he's acting like this, but they are not excuses for him to take that anger and frustration out on you.

[Jade]

Have you discussed this with him, Irene? Like, I'm just wondering, have you called him out on his behavior? Like, yo, you're projecting your shit onto me, and I understand you're in a very frustrating and challenging place, but when you were. When you were up, I was supportive, right? And now that I'm up, like, you. You being catty with me. Like, you're. You're. You're being nasty with me. You making digs at me. You making digs at the things that I'm going after. That shit don't feel good.

[Krystal]

Right.

[Jade]

You know, how can I support you while you're not feeling your best without you turning that shit back on to me as if I'm doing something wrong? I'm just wondering, have you had that conversation? What does it look like for you to have that conversation to call him out on that behavior?

[Krystal]

Right.

Because she made a great point of like, I want to share experiences with this person. I want to share my life with you. We have had periods of. Y' all have been together for almost seven years. So it sounds like for the first five years, things were Gucci.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Krystal]

I feel I'm getting to the point. This is how I would frame it if I were you. I'm getting to the point where I don't even want to tell you when I have an interview. I don't want to tell you when I apply somewhere else. I don't want to share things with you that I'm excited about because you see my joy and then you, you do things that chip away at it.

[Jade]

Yes.

[Krystal]

And I'm not saying that's your intention, but that's the effect of what you're doing. That's the effect that it's having on me. And see if maybe that understanding that new perspective shifts something for him now. If he digs his heels in and gets meaner, well, that's. Now we gotta start talking about, is this really a long term partner? Is this somebody we should be staying with? Like, you know, I was gonna recommend therapy for him.

[Jade]

Yeah, well, I think yes, for him first, because you the one with the issue, my brother. But also a lot of times couples therapy will at least help a person to have a lens to see that they need personal therapy as well. And so I think, I don't know if you recommend it to him solely, that would be great. But I'm wondering if, you know, creating a safe space too, where you are able to express all of the things you've been feeling because of his treatment and his behavior to get you all back to a healthy place. But yeah, reasoning aside, you don't deserve that. You don't deserve that treatment. And you can understand somebody all day. And listen, I've been with this nigga a very long time. I've been, you know, we've been in a relationship, we've been married a long time.

[Krystal]

Y' all have.

[Jade]

And as imperfect human beings, people's egos flare up at different times. And it's not right, but it's okay. And you gotta figure out how to navigate with that. My own ego will flare up at times. You're human, that's what happens. You know what I'm saying? Especially if you feeling defensive or attacked or whatever the case is. And you also see people's weak points, you see where they need some help in different places. So sometimes it's not like in the whole thing, but we really do have to address this. Or is it going to become a deeper wound?

[Krystal]

Right.

And that's why accountability is so important.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Krystal]

Because we all have that.

[Jade]

Absolutely.

[Krystal]

We all have those weak places where we need more support or where we're not as strong or mature or whatever else as our partners. We all have the tendency to get petty or nasty or mean or defensive or ego. You know, we let our egos take over. Everybody has the capacity for that.

Yeah.

And you are just human. So that's. But that's why you have to be the type of person where somebody can come to you and say, this is how Your behavior is affecting me. And you can listen to that and make adjustments moving forward. If can't nobody talk to you about the way you act.

[Jade]

That's where the problem is.

[Krystal]

That's what I'm saying. If you bring it up and he's digging his heels in, I don't care. Okay, bro, So I feel like you're not hearing me. I'm saying you're hurting me. I'm saying there are parts of my life I don't want to share with you anymore. And what if you get a position that he feels is better than his? What if you make more than he does?

[Jade]

That is that. That all of this needs to be addressed right here at this.

[Krystal]

Yes, yes.

[Jade]

You know what I'm saying? So that also maybe he does not have a proper lens on himself to see, like, oh, Deez, I want you to see how mannish you're being. You see that? You didn't even attend. You used to be vulnerable with me, but all of a sudden, your little ego got crushed a little bit. And I get it, my nigga, I get it. It never feels good to be kicked down.

[Krystal]

It does not.

[Jade]

It never feels good. It feels good to. I, I. We are in a. In a world right now and in a place where. Where myself and many people I know are not making the money that they feel they should be making.

[Krystal]

Just about everybody having to do things

[Jade]

that is like, I never thought I'd have to be doing this. Yeah. You know, I, I. Maybe I will sell pictures of my middle toes. You know what I mean? I don't know.

[Krystal]

Sure.

[Jade]

We might get to that place, ask

[Krystal]

Mandy for a tip.

[Jade]

She'd be the first person I would go to. And I mean that with the highest, highest respect.

[Krystal]

Mandy said it's $500. Maddie will listen to this. She be like, bitch, my ears. I can say it a while. I like to hear her. You sounds like her.

[Jade]

But, you know, sometimes we need somebody to put a mirror up to ourselves to let us know, like, you're acting a fucking ass right now, and I love you, but you're acting an ass, and you acting an ass. You with me, right?

[Krystal]

And I'm supposed to be your partner.

[Jade]

And I'm supposed to be. I'm supposed to be your mandem. Right? You know what I'm saying?

[Krystal]

So couples therapy is a great idea. It does sound like y' all have gone from us versus the world to me versus you.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Krystal]

And that's common.

[Jade]

It happens.

[Krystal]

Happens a lot. And it happens throughout the marriage. All up and through without the relationship is. I'm not saying that's like a one and done. Like you. How do we navigate the same page?

[Jade]

Right?

[Krystal]

But you do have to both be able to be corrected. You have to both be able to. You have. People have to be able to talk to you.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Krystal]

So, yeah. Have that conversation, Irene, and decide what you're gonna do from there. I do think couples therapy might be great initially, as opposed to being like, nigga, you need to go to therapy. You got fucking attitude problems. Couples therapy might be great because you're sitting in front of somebody completely unbiased. Don't know either one of y'.

All.

And while you know, this issue with Irene seems very clear cut to us, when you sit down in front of that person, they may say some things where you like, now, wait a minute. This wasn't supposed to be about me, but, yes, it is, girl. Couples therapy.

[Jade]

We end this. Yeah. Because, listen, don't start shining the light

[Krystal]

on me too hard, right?

[Jade]

I'm like, you know, yes, the arena original objective was because your ego is getting crushed. But be ready that that mirror will

[Krystal]

get turned on you till you be

[Jade]

like, look, I have been a hormonal monster all week. I'll tell you all. And I have had to go to my family all week and be like, all right, y', all, like, what I said is valid, but the way I said it was not nice.

[Krystal]

You know what I'm saying? Accountability, Jay.

[Jade]

We all gotta have it.

[Krystal]

You have to have it if you want to have healthy relationships with.

[Jade]

Absolutely.

[Krystal]

You cannot have it if you can't.

[Jade]

Absolutely. Absolutely.

[Krystal]

Best of luck, Irene. I hope y' all can work this out. He sounds like. I mean, he sounds like a great guy. As long as he feels good about his job, he's in a challenge. In the end, he's in a challenging space.

Yeah.

[Jade]

And you gotta learn how to work through that.

[Krystal]

But you don't get to hurt me with your challenging space.

[Jade]

Exactly.

[Krystal]

All right, Jade, who's next?

[Jade]

Oh, our next listener is Alice Coachman Davis. Oh.

[Krystal]

Inventor of the coach purse.

[Jade]

No, No.

[Krystal]

I knew that was gonna piss you off.

[Jade]

She wins the high jump at the Olympics.

[Krystal]

I was about to say, what is she tracking?

[Jade]

Phil England become the first black woman to win an Olympic gold medal.

[Krystal]

Oh, my goodness. Yes. Congratulations.

[Jade]

Can we start this teleprompter? So Alice writes, hi, crystal. I'm a 30 year old black. Oh, okay, pause.

[Krystal]

Okay.

[Jade]

Gotta do a new name.

[Krystal]

Why?

[Jade]

Because this is a 30 year old black queer man. So I don't wanna Call him Alice Coachman. I guess he can still be Alice Coachman Davis.

[Krystal]

You know what?

[Jade]

You're right.

[Krystal]

Black woman is king. No, I'm just playing. Hi, crystal. I'm a 30 year old black queer

[Jade]

man, the youngest of three brothers. One of my brothers is no contact with our parents and I completely understand why.

[Krystal]

Oh, gag it.

[Jade]

My mom has a pattern where anytime she's confronted about something hurtful, it turns into defensiveness, denial, or rewriting what actually happened. When I try to set even small boundaries like not wanting daily phone calls or not wanting to be pulled into family drama, it quickly becomes tears and accusations that I'm disrespectful or that I hate her. She refuses to take accountability. She is currently speaking negatively about my brother to me and asking intrusive questions about him. Despite our close relationship, I've asked her to stop and she continuously violates my boundary. None of this is new. When I came out at 21, my mom said some deeply hurtful, homophobic things that will stick with me. Around that same time, she went behind my back and emailed my therapist saying I needed medication and that I was going to end my own life, which wasn't true.

[Krystal]

Oh, no.

[Jade]

Oh, that's wild.

[Krystal]

Oh.

[Jade]

That moment permanently changed how safe I feel with her.

[Krystal]

Yeah.

[Jade]

My dad doesn't say much, but he defends her and makes excuses for her behavior. He also doesn't intervene when the harm is actively happening. Recently I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 and severe anxiety. The diagnosis brought a lot of clarity and made it very clear that I have to protect my mental health. The problem is my parents don't feel like safe people to share this with. In the past, my vulnerability has been used against me. Boundaries have been crossed and my reality has been dismissed. Because of that, I've decided not to disclose my diagnosis and to move toward low contact instead. I still feel guilty though. As a black man, there's so much pressure to be strong, loyal and forgiving no matter what. And as a queer son, there's grief in realizing that the people who were supposed to protect you were also resources of harm. How do you grieve the family you wished you had while accepting the ones you actually have without sacrificing your mental health or your sense of self? How do you let go of guilt when distance isn't about punishment, but about self preservation? Thank you so much. And that's from Alice Coachman Davis.

[Krystal]

Alice Coachman Davis. What a legend you are.

[Jade]

I want to hug you.

[Krystal]

Yes, me too. Because I can relate to so much of this, a few things jumped out at me. Your mother's behavior sounds abusive. Your father's behavior sounds like neglect. And they were probably like that when you were children. This is probably just a dynamic that has been going on since childhood. Right. And so there's a few things here. Grieving the family you wish you had while accepting the one you actually have is probably one of the biggest problems I had in therapy, and not just specifically about family, but about accepting the complete and utter unfairness of this shit. It's not grieving the family I wish I had. It's grieving the family I deserved.

[Jade]

Yes, yes, yes.

[Krystal]

Grieving the treatment I deserved.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Krystal]

The problem with abuse and neglect is that oftentimes you don't even realize something is missing until you're big and grown and you're having all these issues in your life in other places, and you're like, why do I keep fucking up? Why do I keep. I like this person? Why do I keep treating them this way? Why can't I get my blah, blah, blah? Why do I do this? Sometimes you don't even know what you're missing. That, especially with neglect. That's really. And that sounds like the issue with your dad. That is frequently a problem in dynamics where one parent is really overbearing and doing too much and harmful in a lot of their ways. Somebody, if the other parent is present and that's still happening, then that parent is failing in their duty to protect you.

[Jade]

Yes.

[Krystal]

So.

But it can also be harder to hold that parent accountable. Cause it's like, well, you're the safe one. You're the good one. You're the one that I actually can turn to. But it's like you're also the one who allowed all this bullshit to keep going. The issues with your mother are much clearer.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Krystal]

And it sounds like maybe the whole family is used to just going along with whatever she wants, and she has this attitude or she does something hurtful, and then as soon as y' all say something, she turns into a little whiny bitch. And, well, I guess I'm just the worst mother in the world, which is really, like.

[Jade]

We all know that. We all know that.

[Krystal]

Boomers. Boomers. I'm talking to y' all because, you know, y' all are real bad about that. That's y' all favorite line.

[Jade]

It is.

[Krystal]

I guess I'm just the worst. Oh, I guess any mother or just some rat off the street could have did better than me. Or trying to gaslight you into thinking what happened didn't or any other manner of defensiveness.

[Jade]

Unhealthy defensiveness.

[Krystal]

Right. Anything other than accepting what is being said to you.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Krystal]

Now, you did also mention that you try to set small boundaries and she just continuously violates them. I've said that before this. Before on this show. But boundaries without consequences are suggestions. If there's no repercussions for violating your boundary, then you don't have a boundary. You have a request. Yeah, that's not the same. Boundaries are. If this, then that.

[Jade]

Don't say that nigga's name to me.

[Krystal]

Don't come to me talking crazy about my brother. I don't wanna. If you do it, I will end the telephone call.

[Jade]

Yes, you could.

[Krystal]

You've asked her to stop. She keeps doing it. You don't. You don't hang up the phone.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Krystal]

It's time to start hanging up on your mama. It's time to start not calling her back. It's time to. Or maybe that's not what feels like an appropriate consequence to you, but it's time to think about what an appropriate consequence to violating your boundary is so that you can institute that otherwise she will continue to run over you.

[Jade]

Yeah. Because she's been allowed to do that all of this time. And like you said, this is a boomer parent, you know, particular day and age where they didn't have to be accountable. You've already said, like, you know, you feel that. That you feel that pressure of being respectful. Because I remember how many things were like, jade, that's disrespectful. And it. And now that in hindsight, I'm like, that wasn't disrespectful. You just didn't want to hear what was coming out of my mouth.

[Krystal]

Yeah.

[Jade]

You know what I'm saying?

[Krystal]

I do.

[Jade]

Like, some things are disrespectful and some things are not. Some things are just hard truths.

[Krystal]

It was usually me pointing out something that you want. Want me to shut up about.

[Jade]

Exactly. And that's not respect. And this is where the dynamic. This is why people feel guilty in times where they shouldn't have to feel guilty and how they exist in a relationship. Because all of this stuff has been all wonky and how it's been expressed all of these years.

[Krystal]

Right.

[Jade]

You know, so I hope you can reshape that, first of all, because it sounds like you got genuine love and respect for your parents. And also you telling your mother, I have told you time and time again, I'm not talking to my brother with you. I'm talking about my brother with you.

[Krystal]

Right.

[Jade]

I'm not. Don't bring him up again.

[Krystal]

Yeah.

[Jade]

I don't want to bang it on you, but I'll have to bang it on you. I won't bang it on you if you don't stop.

[Krystal]

Yeah.

[Jade]

And I mean that with all the love in the world.

[Krystal]

It's hardest the first time you do it.

[Jade]

Yeah. But let me tell you about how writing.

[Krystal]

You hang up on your mother mid screen. Oh, but it feels so good. And then you put it on DND or airplane mode or whatever so she can't get through all.

[Jade]

Well, okay. Somebody over here is having a Jon Hamm moment.

[Krystal]

I'm just saying. I'm just saying, because you in that moment, you're telling yourself that no one gets to disrespect you.

[Jade]

Yes. You including your mother.

[Krystal]

And respect is a two way street. Your mother demands it, but doesn't give it.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Krystal]

So guilty for what? I understand you feel the guilt, but I'm challenging you on the guilt. Because guilt is for when we've done something wrong and we know we've violated our own standards, our own morals, the things we believe in and the things that guide us. You've not done that here. In fact, I would go as far to say is like, if you should feel guilty, should feel guilty about anything, it is the fact that you are still trying to stay connected to somebody who has been so fucking terrible to you. That shit with a therapist.

[Jade]

Yeah, that's. That is. That's.

[Krystal]

That's a reason to never speak again. I cut n off for less.

[Jade]

No, I'm not gonna lie to you all and say that I don't ask myself more often than not, what the fuck are you niggas talking to your therapist about? Cause there's something still severely wrong. But that's not what we're talking about.

[Krystal]

It's time to work through everything, Jade. I'm like, oh, I see.

[Jade]

Y' all are l to your therapist.

[Krystal]

Some of y' all are.

[Jade]

No, some of y' all are. Honestly. But in this particular case, that's really. That's really going too far.

[Krystal]

That's beyond disrespectful.

[Jade]

It really is that you need medication, and then, you know, then you take the homophobic and harmful aspects as well. You are really trying to hold onto a relationship, and you're giving her a lot of grace for somebody who's endured so much.

[Krystal]

Yeah.

[Jade]

And nobody can tell you that you're wrong or right for that.

[Krystal]

Right.

[Jade]

Only you can do what you want to do. With this relationship.

[Krystal]

Yeah.

[Jade]

However, you will only continue to allow her to harm you. If you don't set those hard parameters

[Krystal]

right, it's only going to continue to hurt.

[Jade]

And. And it's enabling, like you said in the last episode.

[Krystal]

Yeah.

And I mean, and there's so much here about like, you know, black family dynamics. You're the youngest of three brothers.

[Jade]

You provided good context. Thank you so much.

[Krystal]

There's a lot of, like, we don't do. Black people don't do that. We don't.

We don't.

We don't challenge our parents. We don't talk to them such and such way. You don't get to treat me any old kind of fucking way, though. So making the decision to move to low contact, I think is perfect for you. It doesn't sound like you're ready to cut them off, and maybe you don't even need to cut them off entirely. But this guilt, I really want you to work through that first and foremost because it's like your brain is punishing you for doing something that is good for you.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Krystal]

Your mind, your thought processes are saying, oh, no, you wrong. Now, you know, you wrong for this. I'm wrong for distancing myself from someone who emailed my therapist and said I was going to take my own life. Do you know how serious that is?

[Jade]

Mm.

[Krystal]

That's.

If your therapist thinks your life is in danger, what they can do about that?

[Jade]

You could have been like, if they gonna end up taking your shoelaces.

[Krystal]

And when they call the people, right, you gotta go stay at the grippy sock Hotel.

[Jade]

But like, bitch, I did not ask to be in here with these rubber walls. This lady put me. This is. This is jail at this point.

[Krystal]

Look, it's not. It's.

[Jade]

That was wild. I'm sorry.

[Krystal]

That was really wild. It was.

[Jade]

That was wild.

[Krystal]

That made my eyeballs shoot up. Cause like, no, I can't fathom when I was a student therapist, if somebody's Whomever mother had emailed me and said, I just want you to know that your client, my son, is getting. I then have to engage a whole set of protocols, especially a. But even if I was fully licensed independent, I now have to do some work because I have to ensure you don't. You. I do everything I can. I have to. Everything I can to keep you alive. And then to find out it was just some hoax because you felt like having fun. Oh, baby. We gonna talk about your mama. We gonna talk about your mama.

[Jade]

That was. That was wild. That was wild.

[Krystal]

It was really, really out of pocket. And it's possible you have dozens of little fucked up stories like that about her. So not disclosing your mental health diagnosis to them makes complete sense because they have demonstrated time and time again they are not safe people. Your dad is the quiet type, but you don't need the quiet type when you're being harmed. You need the type to step up and say, hey, you don't get to hurt my baby like this.

[Jade]

Yeah, yeah, you do. I'm sending you so much love, man. I just. I really hope that you are able to find a place where this doesn't affect you like this. You know what I'm saying? I hope the low context is able to let you to focus on yourself and give yourself that real love and rehabilitation that your heart really deserves.

[Krystal]

Yes. Because that is the road to acceptance. And a whole nother level lies opened up for me rather in this past, I don't know, maybe year and a half to two years when I really accepted that they just are who they are, man. Yeah, they are who they are. And as messed up as it is, nobody can turn the dial back to the day I was born and make them magically be different people.

[Jade]

Yeah, you do.

[Krystal]

That might not be hard for you to accept it was. I don't know, my therapist might say it was. The hardest thing for me to do was to accept it because I refused. I said, I'm not going to accept it because that means it's okay.

[Jade]

I would agree, actually.

[Krystal]

Yeah, but that's not true.

[Jade]

Exactly.

[Krystal]

It's more like accepting it is just being able to acknowledge it.

[Jade]

Exactly.

[Krystal]

And it being okay doesn't mean that you didn't deserve better. But you're not gonna get it.

[Jade]

It's a reason, not an excuse.

[Krystal]

Not from them.

[Jade]

Yeah, you.

[Krystal]

But you can give it to yourself. And I swear, my therapist would say this and I would be like, I don't wanna give it to myself, Kathy.

[Jade]

You're like, I should have. I was supposed to. And there's a lot of should haves and supposed tos.

[Krystal]

I spent years doing that. It's not fair. It's not fair. I was supposed to get this. How come other people got that and I didn't and they just were lucky enough to be born to somebody else?

[Jade]

It's a hard thing to accept.

[Krystal]

It is. It is. But that is part of the process of grieving the family that you deserved or that you would have maybe preferred as opposed to the people you actually ended up with. And if it makes you feel better, Most people have at least one emotionally immature parent. Most people have at least one parent who acts something like your mama or something like your daddy. Most of us do.

[Jade]

Especially if you black.

[Krystal]

No shade. Cause we've been through a lot of trauma. We've been through a lot. And we passed through a wife.

[Jade]

These are the way that they are. But it doesn't mean that you have to keep.

[Krystal]

Why? People been going to therapy since the 50s. We just got here, like 10, 15 years ago.

[Jade]

I'm not giving y' all too much either, which.

[Krystal]

Oh, no.

[Jade]

I mean, they'll kill their kids and their parents

[Krystal]

and the country and the world.

[Jade]

What? No. Too far.

[Krystal]

Jade. I was just talking about how white people had access to therapy way before we did.

[Jade]

Yeah, well, you know, I.

[Krystal]

From a. And therapy is not without its own biases, like. Of course, of course. But nobody can derail a point quite like J can. Choo choo. As you can tell, I got a little worked up about this because this is what I'm passionate about. Parents growing the fuck up. Yeah. Doing what's right for your children. Prioritizing what's best for your children. Over keeping your spouse happy.

[Jade]

Yes. And you've been an advocate of learning

[Krystal]

in the letter, protecting the little people. Learning to take some accountability for the way you act. At this point, your children are all grown. If Your youngest is 30, the person who wrote this is 30 years old. That means all of your children are adults. You don't have to respect them when they're kids, but when they're grown, they can make the choice to not talk to your ass.

[Jade]

And that's something that they don't think about because that's never.

[Krystal]

Because you banking on them accepting this bullshit behav. And not really holding you accountable for the things that you do.

[Jade]

Exactly.

[Krystal]

I'm wishing you the absolute best. What was this person's name again?

[Jade]

Oh, this was Alice Coachman Davis.

[Krystal]

Alice Coachman Davis. I'm wishing you the best. I do fully understand this grief. I fully understand parts of the guilt. I get it. Because we've been conditioned to think, you know, well, that's my mama, you know, no matter what. That's my mama.

[Jade]

Yeah, Coach.

[Krystal]

Well, no matter what. I'm her only Alice Coachman.

[Jade]

Exactly.

[Krystal]

I'm the only one of me. You.

[Jade]

I'm your youngest. I'm your child.

[Krystal]

I mean, and you could have six daughters, but I'm the only Crissal.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Krystal]

You don't get another me.

[Jade]

No.

[Krystal]

So you don't get to just abuse me and toss me to the side and act like I don't mean nothing and expect me to keep coming back for more, but the more you work in therapy, the easier this will get. But I am really wishing you luck again. Acceptance with was so hard for me, man. But one day, it just clicked. It was like I had been working on it for so long and working on it and working on it, and one day, I just was at peace with these people and the things that they do. And even now, it's so much drama in my family. And three people had to call me yesterday telling me about the mess going on with my family. And I said, water off a duck's back. Shout out to Jinx.

[Jade]

Shout out to Jinx.

[Krystal]

Because you know what? I've had the conversations.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Krystal]

And not just once. I have nothing to feel guilty about because I've taken everything that I've learned in therapy, and I'm not preaching to niggas like, oh, here's the gospel of, you know, therapy and mental health and psychology. I'm not like, well, have you heard the good word of Carl Rogers? No, I'm not doing that. But I am talking to you about what's real, my feelings and what I observe. You asked me for my input. I'm giving it. I'm telling you this, this, this. Keeping an open mind, having these conversations. You still choosing to do whatever you want to do, though. So at that point, I accept that I've done my best, and you simply don't give a shit. And that is your right. And it is my right to now collect my little feelings and my heart and my spirit and go where those things are celebrated.

[Jade]

Ashely Blaine Featherson. Yes.

[Krystal]

Good luck, Alice.

[Jade]

Oh, I'm sending you so much love.

[Krystal]

Yes, indeed.

[Jade]

And feelings.

[Krystal]

Mm.

[Jade]

All right, next up, we have Nino Brown versus Boyd.

[Krystal]

And they write, I've never said this. I can't wait for Black History month to be over. I've never said that in my life.

[Jade]

Hey, Crystal.

[Krystal]

Hey, girl.

[Jade]

I adore you. I'm so happy for you and your new show. I love watching and listening to you and all the homies on YouTube. Oh, thank you. I've been in therapy for three years now, and I have grown so much. I cannot believe how unbearable, angry, and emotionally immature I was. But I'm happy to say that now I can set solid boundaries, regulate my emotions, and have tough conversations. The problem is, it seems like no one else around me can do the same.

[Krystal]

Uh oh. Uh, oh. Is this a repeat of Alice Cox?

[Jade]

I was like, I don't know.

[Krystal]

Or is this like Anyway, I'm the

[Jade]

only person in my family who's gone to therapy. A few of my friends have gone once or twice but never took it seriously and stopped. At this point I feel like I'm on an island by myself and everything I say or do is taken the wrong way. Damn, if I share my thoughts on something or someone, then I'm a bitch. If I say I disagree on something and explain why, then I'm a bitch. If I choose to stay home and not do something, then I am in one of my moods and being standoffish. Oh Lord. When in reality none of that is the case and I'm simply communicating or choosing my peace by staying home. I am feeling kind of isolated, like I can never say or do anything right anymore without being a bitch. I too am a Virgo.

[Krystal]

It all makes sense now. You might be a little bitch and I know I could be tough.

[Jade]

You sound like me, but I have really been doing the work to be softer. I think. I have come so far in my healing journey in becoming more self aware and cognizant of how my actions may come off to others. But it feels like my family and friends still want the old me. How do I navigate the growth journey and feeling misunderstood in my relationships with my friends and family and not isolate myself on my own little therapized island? Thanks so much.

[Krystal]

Nino Brown versus Board Nino Brown versus Board of Education. Oh man. Well, have you ever.

[Jade]

I'm not saying you're. I think you are. Everything you are saying is correct, Nino. I'm sure, I'm sure it's very valid. Should I say I just don't know. Have you ever dealt with a new Christian girl?

[Krystal]

Why was I finna say the same thing?

[Jade]

You know?

[Krystal]

Cause we do this and I'm sure I'm guilty of it. When you first go to therapy and you start realizing, oh nigga, it's this and this insufferable. You can definitely turn into that. Who's like, what about therapy? Have you considered therapy? Therapy this, therapy that. Now I'm not saying you necessarily are doing that.

[Jade]

No, we don't know.

[Krystal]

We have that same thought of like we can sound like them. Them Westboro Baptist Church people with they signs.

[Jade]

Especially if you have other family members or friends who have done therapy, maybe they're not doing it right now for one reason or another. But I have found there's a few people in my life who have started therapy and and in the start of their journeys they talk to you as if you've never done therapy in your life, you know, and it's real, born again, it can be.

[Krystal]

It really can be.

[Jade]

And it's really fucking insufferable. And it's hard because you love that person and you're so excited for their growth and what they're experiencing. But you're like, yo, you're really like, you're a little self righteous, my friend.

[Krystal]

Yeah, it can absolutely be that way. I for sure thought of that. Cause that is so real. And it's a very real possibility here. But Nino said that you're the only person in your family who's gone to therapy. You had a few friends go once or twice, they didn't really stick with it, you know, they had one or two sessions and stopped. So as much as that's a possibility, it's also possible that they want you to be the old you. Cause they're still the current them.

[Jade]

Yes.

[Krystal]

And that's the person they identify with. They identify with the mean, unbearable, angry, rude, cold, immature bitch you used to be. Because they're all still that way. It could very, very much be like that. So it gets hard because if you being called a bitch for having opinions on things, it's like, okay, I didn't come over here with my therapist and a copy of the DSM and try to sign. I didn't give out therapy gift cards for Christmas. Like, you know, we talking about movies or music or something. And everything I do all of a sudden is a problem because y' all don't appreciate my perspective or. I've grown up, I've changed. I'm in a different space in my life now. And there's gonna be things I say or do that don't align with y'.

All.

Because I'm doing things differently.

[Jade]

Yes, yes.

[Krystal]

So there definitely can be a certain isolation that comes with that. And so you, as someone who's been in therapy for three years, you probably have developed a certain amount of self awareness. And I think that's the number one thing I wanna focus on here.

[Jade]

Absolutely.

[Krystal]

Being sure that, you know, you're not being like. Cause no, it's nothing worse than a born again Christian.

[Jade]

No, it ain't.

[Krystal]

Nobody wants you to know Jesus more than someone who was just smoking crack last week. Yo,

[Jade]

it might be a good name.

[Krystal]

Nobody wants you to give your life to God more than somebody who is doing grimy, hellacious things just a few hours ago.

[Jade]

As a grimy, hellacious person, I agree with that.

[Krystal]

And you know, and you have those conversations sometimes where People are like, well, you know, Jesus has done this and this and this for me. It's like, oh, that's so nice.

[Jade]

And I love that.

[Krystal]

Like, I can keep it cute with people like that. As long as you don't start trying to criticize me or my life, I'm fine.

[Jade]

That's it.

[Krystal]

And so that's what I'm asking Nino Brown to have. That's what I mean when I'm talking about awareness. I want you to be able to take a real honest, critical look at yourself and say, am I the one crossing the line? Are these niggas still just immature and mad that I'm not in the immature dirt with them?

[Jade]

And it also could be both. Yeah.

[Krystal]

Like, it could differ from person to person.

[Jade]

It could be sprinklings, too. Of like, maybe you're a little bit insufferable, Nino. Maybe you're not. We don't know. Right. This is just a possibility.

[Krystal]

Right.

[Jade]

But maybe you're a little preachier than

[Krystal]

you think you are. You're a Virgo babe, so you might combat it naturally. This is what I'm saying. You can't even help when you said you were Virgo. I'm like, oh, unfortunately.

[Jade]

Oh, she might be the problem.

[Krystal]

Even Virgos without therapy.

[Jade]

Look, we got two of us on here.

[Krystal]

Two Virgo spiders. We know ourselves. But I have had to learn to bite my goddamn tongue when people did not ask for my help.

[Jade]

Now, her face don't bite it. I'll tell you that later. But I try to clear it up.

[Krystal]

I try to.

[Jade]

And neither does mine, truth be. So I might be worse. I don't know.

[Krystal]

You are.

You don't get to talk about nobody's facial expressions.

[Jade]

Well, sure.

[Krystal]

Or reacting verbally. You're way more likely to do that than I am, probably. So at this point, at this, a

[Jade]

common phrase growing up was, jade, fix your face.

[Krystal]

Yes. But real bad all the time.

[Jade]

Real bad all the time. So it might be a sprinkling. It might be a sprinkling of, like, you're really, like, on your healing journey and you on your shit. You got low tolerance for bullshit.

[Krystal]

Yep.

[Jade]

And that's real. And it also may be that in that low tolerance for bullshit, maybe it's coming off a little bitchy. And maybe it needs to. Maybe niggas need to feel that a little bit so they could.

[Krystal]

You know what I'm saying?

[Jade]

Like this.

[Krystal]

This is. There's also that it's almost never one clear cut thing. No, this is the gray area. We have these two Poles of, like, on the one hand, I'm acting like I invented fucking therapy. On the other, you niggas are ratchet and terrible in the worst ways.

[Jade]

Master splinters.

[Krystal]

Hurtful people.

[Jade]

Irritating.

[Krystal]

Like, going around spreading your hurt around to everybody and then catching an attitude and being ready to fight when somebody

[Jade]

call you out and doesn't want to accept your hurt.

[Krystal]

You don't want to be either one of these people, though. You want to be somewhere in this gray area where maybe you're low tolerance for bullshit, but you have time for shenanigans. Hello. You have time to pull Eric Adams. And to metal, tomato.

[Jade]

To metal.

[Krystal]

Fuck you, Eric Adams. You got time to get, you know, you get a little silly with the guys, but you're also, you know, you're trying to find that balance so that you're not insufferable either way.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Krystal]

So if you're taking that critical look at yourself and you're like, yeah, I'm being chill. It's them, then it might just be them.

[Jade]

It might just be them.

[Krystal]

And at that point, just like we said in the last letter, acceptance is gonna be so crucial. Accepting that sometimes the best way to get people to go to therapy is by letting them see how you've changed. Not telling them how you've changed, not talking about how great therapy is and therapy, blah, blah, blah, blah.

[Jade]

But simply being and not letting them see in that really also, like, obnoxiously, I'm healed way.

[Krystal]

Oh, yes.

[Jade]

Oh. I'm just choosing to opt out of this because my piece is so, like, right. Like, you can just, like, girl, just calm your nani.

[Krystal]

I'm just not up for the club tonight, y'.

All.

See y'.

[Jade]

All.

[Krystal]

See y' all next weekend.

[Jade]

I want to. I want to be on it. And then if people get an attitude. Cause you're like, y' all just. I just kind of want to chill tonight. I want to be to myself. Then that's their fucking problem, right?

[Krystal]

Cause you're allowed to not want to hit the club or go to a party. Like, you're to allowed. Allowed to just wanna chill at home sometimes.

[Jade]

You're also allowed to not wanna be living in the chaos. Yeah, you're allowed that. You're allowed to feel like we coming at you. Like, you allowed that.

[Krystal]

We just balance.

[Jade]

It's just about how you communicated and how you express it. Yeah.

[Krystal]

Two things being true. I might text the group chat and say, oof, sorry, y', all, I'm not gonna make it to the kickback tonight. I'm not gonna say. As someone who has embarked on her healing journey and is really in a place of prioritizing her mental health, I don't feel it's in my best interest to, like, bitch, shut up.

[Jade]

You either come into the room causing her back on me.

[Krystal]

Oh, so I'm so cute. Sometimes you have to accept that the people around you don't want to do that. Like, sometimes people do not want to change. Sometimes they're perfectly happy with how they are. And so then you get to decide, you know, am I going low contact? Am I not hanging out with you as much, or am I and I'm just accepting that you are who you are. And when I'm ready to do hood ratio with my friends, then I'm calling you for that purpose.

[Jade]

Exactly.

[Krystal]

But again, I would really stress finding a spot in the gray area that feels right to you and going with that. Because trying to strong arm niggas into growing up is not going to work. They have to want it for themselves. And I can't tell you how many of my friends I've been in therapy for seven, eight years now, and I can't tell you how many of my friends are like, like, I've noticed this about you. You used to be such and such way. But now you do this or you used to this and that. And, like, people will see the changes in your behavior.

[Jade]

Absolutely.

[Krystal]

You don't have to spell it out for everybody. So just in case. Cause again, Virgo's in therapy.

[Jade]

It's a thin line between love and hate.

[Krystal]

I know how we can. Yeah, I had to get this nigga the other day. We were at the bar, and I

[Jade]

don't know what I said. Something probably problematic.

[Krystal]

Problematic?

Yeah.

[Jade]

She said, she's looking at me.

[Krystal]

She's giving me the face.

[Jade]

I said, are you therapizing me right now?

[Krystal]

She goes, I was. But now that you say it, just said it. I'll stop. Cause I'm sorry, y'. All. Sometimes people say things that are just wise and people.

[Jade]

I know people is me. I be shot. I be really giving this bitch a run for her money.

[Krystal]

I don't give you therapy face. I usually don't.

[Jade]

You give me Virgo face.

[Krystal]

It's a thin line. And sometimes she give you Virgo therapy face. But I will admit it.

[Jade]

You do. You are self aware about it.

[Krystal]

But are you doing your therapy shit right now?

[Jade]

Oh, my God.

[Krystal]

I'll be like, you know what, girl? I am. My bad. Let me cut it off. I go back to being a friend. Accountability it matters a lot.

[Jade]

We're sending you love, Nino. We're sending you love.

[Krystal]

Yes. Good luck, Nino. Let us know how it goes. Yeah. All right, Jade, who's our last letter?

[Jade]

All right, our last one comes from Rosa Parks and Rex. All right? And she writes.

[Krystal]

Hi, Krystal. Can't wait for this month to end.

[Jade]

There's always gonna be a theme, bitch, so.

[Krystal]

Oh, it's Black History year.

[Jade]

Buckle in.

[Krystal]

Okay. Negro History 3.

[Jade]

All right. Hi, Crystal. Towards the end of the year, I was feeling very hurt because the man I was dating, Mike, was being distant during a time that I really needed a friend. We weren't exclusively dating, but I was ready to talk to him about my mom being hospitalized and how scared I was to travel and see her. He wasn't picking up the phone, and even when I explicitly asked him to be better about calling me, he didn't. On New Year's Eve, I finally got a hold of him and let him know I felt he was being distant. He apologized, saying it wasn't personal. We originally wanted to spend New Year's Eve together, but he said he wasn't feeling up to going out. We agreed he'd pick me up from a party I was going to after midnight, but around 11:30, he texted saying he wasn't feeling well. This is the second time in less than a week that he flaked in plans. Plus, with him being distant, I felt hurt that he wouldn't prioritize seeing me. Here's where I fucked up. I flirted with the guy at the party and tried to get him to drive me home. Unsuccessfully. Aw, Tina Belcher.

[Krystal]

Look, I ended up. Nah. Cause the Uber on New Year's Eve. I get it.

[Jade]

Oh, bitch, that was $73.

[Krystal]

I ended up. Oh, you ended up moving. See, that's what you was trying to avoid.

[Jade]

And during that ride, I called Mike and stupidly made a joke about how I unsuccessfully tried to seduce a man.

[Krystal]

Do not tell the nigga that you tried to get another.

[Jade]

Don't tell him you fucked his friend.

[Krystal]

Okay, okay.

[Jade]

Apparently, I was saying other crazy stuff on the phone.

[Krystal]

Oh, you was drunk.

[Jade]

Oh, you was drunk. Fast forward week later, and Mike broke up with me, saying he understands that I felt unsupported, but he can't trust me. A week after that, my mom passed away. Aww.

[Krystal]

I'm so sorry, babe. Damn. Took the funny right out of it.

[Jade]

Although I had removed Mike from socials, his best friend still follows me and told him about my mom's passing. It's been several Days, and he still hasn't reached out. I would have liked the opportunity to really apologize for my behavior and let him know that I was being out of character from emotions about my mom and also feeling hurt by his distance. But now I feel like reaching out when he was intentionally not. Now I feel like reaching out when he has intentionally not sent condolences. Makes me feel stupid. What do you think I should do? Take the L and accept this man was probably already pulling away and used my behavior on New Year's Eve as a way out. There you go.

[Krystal]

Yep.

[Jade]

Or still reach out and express how I feel. Even if that would only give me closure. Thanks so much, Rosa Parks and Rec.

[Krystal]

Rosa. Rosa.

Rosa. The problem with reaching out in the hopes that closure might come is that it might not. And then you feel stupid and you don't get the closure.

[Jade]

And then you feel stupider. Cause you already feel stupid.

[Krystal]

Right?

[Jade]

You said it.

[Krystal]

Yeah. So you and Mike weren't exclusively dating, which means he could have been more chill about this.

[Jade]

So

[Krystal]

I support women's rights and the wrong. I do, too.

[Jade]

Oh, you want to kill that?

[Krystal]

Okay.

[Jade]

I'm sure you deserved it.

[Krystal]

No. Oh, man.

No, I didn't.

[Jade]

Like, I actually. That. That's what jumped out to me first. We're not exclusive. First of all. I don't. I never understood breaking up when we you not together.

[Krystal]

Right. Breaking up.

[Jade]

I don't know what that means.

[Krystal]

We just stopped dating.

[Jade]

We just not with each other no more.

[Krystal]

We're just not dating.

[Jade]

Mike's kind of a dick, man. And you didn't do anything wild enough for him to be acting like. Especially with your mother passing.

[Krystal]

Well, right.

[Jade]

Like you were stupid. Let's be clear. Like, that was real dumb, girl.

[Krystal]

But you know that girl. All the people you could have called. Right?

[Jade]

It was drunk.

[Krystal]

You even said, this is where I fucked up.

[Jade]

You were like, damn.

[Krystal]

I was on dummy talk.

[Chime Sponsor/Advertisement Voice]

Really?

[Jade]

And that happens to the best of us. I do. It happens to the best of us. We have all been there. Well, yeah.

[Krystal]

Not these exact details, but yeah.

[Jade]

But something stupid in a drunken moment.

[Krystal]

Oh, God, yes. You know, too many times to count.

[Jade]

But Mike. Mike. I think you already knew in your spirit. Mike was pulling away.

[Krystal]

Yeah.

[Jade]

And you said it. He might be using this as an excuse. Cause he was already pulling away. Which means your first mind knew that.

[Krystal]

Yes.

And if he is using what you did on New Year's as an excuse

[Jade]

to pull away, that's pussy. That's cowardly synonyms.

[Krystal]

God. That's a cowardly way to end a relationship with somebody.

[Jade]

Yes.

[Krystal]

However, you did give him the perfect. I mean, you handed it to him on a platter. If you were thinking about breaking up with somebody and then they called you and said, you didn't pick me up. So another nigga that gave me. But I was. But I was too sloppy, so he didn't either.

[Jade]

Like, don't you just.

[Krystal]

You know, if he was still locked in with you, then maybe he would have had more empathy for the fact that your mother was sick and he wouldn't have been so distant before. Like, you. He maybe would have sucked up, not really feeling, like, going out on New Year's and hung out with you anyway. Like, could have been a lot of things that went differently if he felt like y' all were really locked in, if y' all were in an exclusive relationship, even. But since he flaked in plans, you were, and he was being distant, you felt hurt that he didn't prioritize seeing you over his feelings. You did all this anyway. I think reaching out because you would appreciate the opportunity to apologize and explain yourself, I don't think you've missed that opportunity. I think if you really want to do it, you can send Micah email.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Krystal]

Or, you know, I don't know. Right. Or a text or whatever. Like, you can. You can leave FaceTime voicemails now. You can record a video and text it to him. There's so many ways that you can apologize and take accountability for the way you acted if you want to. But there's a part of me that thinks you want him to call and send condolences so y' all can have a conversation. And you are hoping that he will decide to date you again once he hears all this. Like, I'm getting a feeling here that you want to explain yourself so that he comes back in the hope. Right. In the hopes that he'll come back. Same way you said. Well, maybe I reach out and express how I feel. And maybe all I get from it is closure. Maybe you don't get any of the above. Maybe he don't come back and you don't get closure and you just feel bad on top of already grieving the loss of your mother.

[Jade]

Also, I mean, listen, your feelings might be hurt very justifiably. So I do wanna send you immense love for the loss of your mother. That is.

[Krystal]

I think it makes complete sense that you acted like this with the contest.

[Jade]

You were going through so much, right.

[Krystal]

And you was probably really knocking them back on New Year's. Girl.

[Jade]

Do you Want a nigga like Mike, do you want this? Like, I think it's big of you to want to apologize. Again, I don't know what your reasoning is. I kind of am leaning on sister's side, but I think, sure, you want to apologize. It'll feel good to get it off your spirit and make sure that it's clear and out there.

[Krystal]

Cool.

[Jade]

But I don't think you even want to be with somebody like this.

[Krystal]

Right?

[Jade]

Somebody who, again, cowardly, used an excuse. Thank you to pussy to get out of a relationship or to get out of whatever this dynamic was, this little dating. And again, you don't even have the human decency to express condolences for somebody you were just dating and lost a parent. I really hope that in all of this, you wouldn't want to be with a person like that.

[Krystal]

Yeah, that. I agree. I think if you're going. If you want the opportunity to apologize and explain yourself simply so that you can say it. Because I'm a big believer in giving people apologies when we owe them one.

[Jade]

Absolutely.

[Krystal]

So if you feel like he's owed an apology, I would give it to him and then maybe even block him as soon as you do. Sure, maybe.

[Jade]

But

[Krystal]

the motivation behind why you're doing it matters so much here. If you want him back, don't do it. If you want closure, don't do it. If you want to apologize because you acted outside of your character, then you do it.

[Jade]

And now you know how to move. You know the next time.

[Krystal]

And now you know next time you call a homegirl. That's a rookie mistake.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Krystal]

Rosa, you called me.

Hold up.

Oh, baby, it's okay. You was going through a lot.

[Jade]

You were going through a lot.

[Krystal]

Your mommy was sick. You done lost your man. Well, your man and your mother, you know, within a very short amount of time. So I do. I get it. Like that grief. You will end up doing things that are outside of what you would normally do. That's very much understandable. But also, he don't sound like you really are missing out on all that much. Cause like Jade said, he seems kind of mean and. And emotionally not really tapped in.

[Jade]

Let me. Like, I can hit a bitter enemy and say, I'm so sorry you lost your parent. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

[Krystal]

I mean, I could. I wouldn't, but I could.

Eh.

[Jade]

I wouldn't either. But you're not his bitter enemy. And that's my point. You're not his bitter enemy. And him. And I just don't respect people who don't say the thing. I just have no respect for that. And he clearly was not saying whatever the thing was even before this. He clearly wasn't, so. And now you don't even have the decency as somebody who you were somewhat emotionally linked to.

[Krystal]

Yeah.

[Jade]

Like, that's just some. That's just some dickhead shit.

[Krystal]

Right?

[Jade]

You know?

[Krystal]

Cause even if he wasn't pulling away from you, even if he was distant because. Cause he said, you know, you brought it up. He apologized, said it's not personal. It's very possible he was just going through a lot in his own life. But say that.

Say that.

Why you not communicating? Cause he don't care about you like that now. Maybe not. Maybe I shouldn't have said that.

[Jade]

You don't care enough to hit somebody and say, I'm sorry your mother passed.

[Krystal]

Right.

[Jade]

That's selfish.

[Krystal]

He doesn't seem like the type of person you should. That I would suggest you deliberately pursue. I'll put it that way.

[Jade]

Yeah. There you go.

[Krystal]

All right, Rosa. Good luck. Again. I'm so sorry for the loss of your mom.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Krystal]

Next time, call a homegirl.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Krystal]

And tell her.

[Jade]

Oh, they'll tell you.

[Krystal]

I have tried to scam three different niggas out of a ride home, and none of them fell for it.

[Jade]

Sister, I love you, but right now you sound like a dizzy, drunk bitch. And I can see why everybody's running from you.

[Krystal]

I am out of Uber. Like, I'm.

[Jade]

Call your sisters.

[Krystal]

You turn your location up. I need to make sure you make it home.

[Jade]

Got. You need to have a couple of people who got that location.

[Krystal]

Yeah, you do.

[Jade]

Especially if you're going to a party alone.

[Krystal]

You got some water and milk? This. You were hurting. You wanted to go out. You wanted to let loose. You needed to escape. All of that's understandable, but, oh, Rosa Parks and rec. Even GS mess up sometimes, Rosa. You'll get them the next time, though, baby girl.

[Jade]

Absolutely.

[Krystal]

Best of luck to you. All right, Jay. That wraps up another episode of Crystal's Couch.

[Jade]

Oh, I love being on the couch.

[Krystal]

I love having you here.

Thank you.

Tell the people where they can find you. Jade.

[Jade]

Of all jades everywhere.

[Krystal]

Mm.

And Jaiden XD Jaden XD every week.

[Jade]

Getting grown every week. Love giving Jade on the all over your Internet. Everywhere, all the time.

[Krystal]

I'm Krystal. You can follow us online at chrisaliscouch. The website is chrysaliscouch.com and if you have a question for me, shoot me an email. Babe advicerislescouch.com I'll see you next week.

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