Session 26: Calling Crissle ft. Ari Cari

Summary

Crissle’s Couch – Session 26: “Calling Crissle” ft. Ari Kari

Date: May 12, 2026
Host: Krystal / Crissle
Guest: Ari Kari (Celebrity Marketing & PR Strategist)

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Episode Overview

In this engaging episode, host Krystal is joined by the vibrant and sharp Ari Kari for a candid, caring, and occasionally hilarious session of listener advice. The centerpiece is a set of real-life calls from Black women struggling with perfectionism, disappointment, relationship heartbreak, and the unique pressures of corporate life. With Ari’s signature wit and Krystal’s gentle accountability, the episode is a lively, empathetic space celebrating resilience and learning. Above all, it’s about finding support, self-compassion, and perspective in tough times.

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Key Segments & Discussion Points

[01:29] – Introduction of Guest Ari Kari

• Krystal hypes Ari’s multi-hyphenate background in marketing and digital culture, referencing her viral work and her authentic, insightful style.
• Memorable Moment: Ari declares her love for Krystal and the legacy of "Smell and Taste", connecting over throwback internet moments.

[03:08 – 16:51] – Caller 1: Ava’s Condo Regret & Self-Blame

The Situation:

• Ava, a first-time homeowner, is crushed by regret over buying a condo that doesn’t meet her expectations (noise, management, outgrowing the space).
• She feels intense self-blame and depression, worrying she’s failed her family and community.

Key Insights:

• Root of Pain: More about self-blame as an “adulting failure” than just the condo’s flaws.
• Cultural Pressure: Ava (Nigerian) and Krystal discuss the unique expectations for excellence among Black women and immigrants (“If you get anything less than the moon, you have failed.” – [13:30], Krystal).
• Validation: Ava’s family and friends see the condo positively; she’s her own harshest critic.
• Shame vs. Reality: Krystal and Ari reframe Ava’s experience as a temporary setback not a permanent flaw.

Quotes:

• "[The] beauty in it is that you had the choice. So many people don't have the choice to buy a condo or to buy a home because they can't afford it. So the fact that the choice was even there is an accomplishment within itself." – Ari Kari [09:52]
• "I'm sure you're brilliant and accomplished in other ways. But maybe it’s hard for you to see... because you feel so crushed by the disappointment." – Krystal [11:37]
• "You have accomplished so many things in your life... There’s no way that this one decision erases all of the good that you’ve done." – Krystal [14:41]

Advice & Takeaways:

• Reframe the Narrative: Recognize that owning a home is itself a success.
• Be Kinder to Yourself: “You're that bitch for real.” – Ari Kari [16:03]
• Seek Support: Ava mentions working with a therapist; Krystal encourages her to be patient with her healing and to actively combat self-critical thoughts.
• Lighthearted Reminder: Krystal and Ari reference “choices worse than a condo” (“You could be pregnant... you could be a baby mama right now” – [16:13]) to put things in perspective and uplift Ava with humor.

Emotional Moment:

• Ava breaks down in tears about feeling she’s a disappointment; Krystal and Ari gently reassure and affirm her, closing with warmth and pride for Ava’s accomplishments [11:01, 12:26, 13:07].

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[22:29 – 36:15] – Caller 2: Khadijah’s Relationship Heartbreak

The Situation:

• Khadijah, a Black woman in her 30s, navigates a painful breakup with a gender nonconforming partner of one year.
• Partner ended things, citing feelings of being reminded of their (estranged) mother by Khadijah’s appearance and scent; they ask to be “just friends” while sorting out their issues in therapy.

Key Insights:

• Khadijah’s Hurt: Feeling blindsided, misled after clear communication was promised. Wonders if friendship is possible or if romance could ever resume.
• Dissecting the Explanation: Krystal and Ari question the partner’s reasoning (“Why would they want to f*** their mom? ...I’m confused.” – Ari [27:31]), and note the alleged triggers (silhouette, perfume) existed throughout the relationship.
• Acknowledgment of Patterns: Krystal points out that unaddressed wounds from previous relationships may magnify current pain.

Quotes:

• “One year down the drain is better than the rest of your life with the wrong person.” – Ari Kari [26:48]
• “I just think that if that hope of reconciliation is in the back of your mind... you might just be picking off the scab.” – Krystal [33:11]
• “Only you can guard and protect your heart.” – Krystal [35:52]

Advice & Takeaways:

• Don’t Wait Around: Both hosts advocate for Khadijah not putting her life on pause.
• Allow Time to Heal: Friendship may not work while feelings are still raw—“I think you probably need a few more months of healing before a friendship is even possible.” (Krystal [34:04])
• Self-Care & New Experiences: Ari encourages trying new hobbies, going out, “Put on a nasty heel... Go flirt! It's about to be summer.” [35:35]
• Soundtrack for Heartbreak: “Don’t listen to Mariah the Scientist... Put on Meg, put on Ken the Man.” [36:44]

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[38:35 – 45:22] – Ari Kari’s Workplace Humiliation

The Situation:

• Ari shares a recent workplace drama where her white boss called an all-staff meeting, only to single her out for public criticism (“lashings, bitch, lashings in front of everyone” – Ari [39:10]).
• The display was shocking, with Ari keeping her composure while feeling both targeted and demeaned.

Key Insights & Commentary:

• Microaggressions and Power Play: Both recognize this as a tactic to “humble” Ari, likely out of intimidation or insecurity.
• Coping in Corporate Spaces: Krystal recommends scheduling a private follow-up with the boss to seek clarity (“The same way you could've just had a meeting with me privately if you had an issue, white man. But don’t say that part.” [41:02].)
• Perspective: Ari jokes about the dynamic (“He's upset because my knees don’t have arthritis. Like, he’s miserable.” [44:14]) and maintains her sense of self-worth despite the attempt to humiliate her.

Quotes:

• “You know you that bitch when you cause all this conversation... You gotta call a whole meeting for me.” – Ari [43:42]
• “Hopefully you can come to an understanding where the workplace isn’t awkward, but... that white man in charge of a bunch of Black people. Don’t get me started on that dynamic.” – Krystal [44:29]
• “Now he’s shown you his true color, so just don’t forget that. Just always keep that in the back of your mind.” – Krystal [45:11]

Advice:

• Arrange a private conversation, maintain professionalism, but be wary of future workplace dynamics.
• Remember your value even when others try to diminish it.

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Notable Quotes & Moments Recap

• Krystal: "Who told you you had to be perfect at all things at all times?" [11:01]
• Ari Kari: "You're that bitch for real." [16:03]
• Krystal: “Only you can guard and protect your heart.” [35:52]
• Ari Kari: “I treat people a certain way, but that doesn't mean everyone else is... especially in certain corporate environments, people feel like you're beneath me, or if you're doing too well, I gotta remind you of your place.” [42:11]

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Important Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment/Topic | |-----------|----------------------------------------| | 01:29 | Ari Kari’s Introduction | | 03:08 | Ava’s call: Condo regret | | 09:42 | Ava on family & cultural expectations | | 13:30 | Krystal on Nigerian/Black woman pressure| | 16:49 | Call wraps, Ava thanked & affirmed | | 22:29 | Khadijah’s call: Relationship heartbreak| | 25:00 | Exploring partner’s “mother” explanation| | 33:11 | Krystal: “Picking off the scab” advice | | 35:29 | Ari: “Try some new hobbies...” | | 38:35 | Ari Kari’s workplace story | | 41:02 | Krystal’s advice on private meeting | | 44:14 | Ari on boss’s insecurity | | 45:22 | Episode close: Mutual gratitude, plugs |

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Overall Tone and Takeaways

Warm, witty, and unflinchingly supportive—this episode captures the intersection of Black womanhood, self-worth, cultural pressure, and vulnerability. Krystal and Ari balance tough love with celebration, leaving listeners with practical strategies for reframing self-blame, surviving heartbreak, navigating workplace dynamics, and, above all, rooting for each other’s joy and resilience.

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Connect with Ari Kari:
Instagram: @IamAriKari
TikTok: @IamAriKari1
Podcast: “Step Into My Office Friend” (coming soon)

Send your questions:
Email Krystal at adviceryslescouch.com

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This episode truly embodies Crissle’s Couch motto: gentle accountability, honest advice, and the comfort of being heard—even if it’s not therapy, it might just help you heal.

Transcript

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[Ava (Caller)]

Girl.

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[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Hi and welcome back to Crystal's Couch, the show where I answer your letters for advice and talk to the most interesting people in the world. Today I'm joined by Ari Kari. She is a celebrity marketing and PR strategist and creative director specializing in music, artists and culturally relevant brands. She's the owner of a full service marketing agency delivering end to end marketing solutions for business owners, artists and black creatives. Ari Kari has built a strong digital presence earning millions of views through her content. Most notably her viral breakdown on Mariah the Scientist. She's a Charlotte, North Carolina native equally known for her strategic expertise and her ability to read, challenge and entertain audiences in a way that feels authentic, insightful and fun. Ari Kari has built a reputation for making marketing feel smart, honest and actually entertaining. So please welcome her to the couch. Yeah. Thank you for being here.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

Girl, this is.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Oh please.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

I told you I've loved you and Kid Fury since Smell and Taste. It's been a long time.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

That's a long time, girl. That's a real throwback.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

Did she ever give like a response or like a ugly well?

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Cause what can you say? What can you say? It's embarrassing enough. You know that part. She's gonna hide in the shadows forever. But we just been sitting here yapping. You know, you part of Delulu Hive. You reading into everything that late? I haven't spoken. Okay. She hasn't.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

The oracle is being rewritten, y'. All. It is happening.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Okay, so. But we've been having a good time. She's. She's here today to help me answer some of your calls. So are you ready, girl, to get into what the people have going on?

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

Let's get into it.

[Ava (Caller)]

All right.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Let's do it. All right, Ari. First up is Ava. Ava, are you on the line?

[Ava (Caller)]

I am. Hi, Kristi.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Hi. What's going on?

[Ava (Caller)]

All right, so I purchased my first home, a condo, in 2023. But unfortunately, for a lot of reasons, I've been pretty unhappy living here. Honestly, I have really struggled with feeling like a failure and an embarrassment to my community. Not that anyone said that, but that is how I have felt. I've gone through deep periods of intense depression through this. Unfortunately, the condo market where I currently live is not great at the moment. So if I were to sell, I would take a pretty significant financial loss. And so I'm wondering what advice you have on, you know, preventing. On trying not to make this one decision that I. That I made. Make me internalize this as, you know, feeling like I have completely failed at adulting, which is how I feel.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Okay, tell me. Tell me a little more about what's not working with the condo.

[Ava (Caller)]

It's a few things. One of it is the. My immediate neighborhood isn't what I thought it was when I looked at it. I came to look at this condo. I remember that weekend, it was pretty snowy, so nobody was outside. It was very quiet. And that is not the actual reality. It gets pretty noisy. And in general, I just haven't enjoyed the management of my building, which, of course, I also didn't know before I moved in.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Right. So it's noisy. And the management, are they not good at keeping up the property? Things like that.

[Ava (Caller)]

Yeah.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

Okay.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Okay. And so I'm curious as to how this. It sounds like maybe you regret. You regret this decision to purchase, but that you're taking it really far internally,

[Ava (Caller)]

I think I just feel like. I guess in my head, it just feels like, oh, you know, you didn't do enough research. You should have done more research on the outside, the immediate community, what things are like where. I was pretty focused on the unit itself. And even the unit itself, I knew it was small, but I didn't think that I would outgrow the size this quickly.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Okay. Yeah.

[Ava (Caller)]

If I'm being honest, but I think I just felt like. Did I. Was there more research? I should have talked to more people about all of these things that perhaps I didn't do enough of.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Was the condo, like, very well priced? Is it, like, really fit within your budget, that sort of thing, particularly for the time period?

[Ava (Caller)]

Yes. I think, you know, additional context, because now the condo market is in a downswing. You know, looking at prices and just seeing what you could have. What I could have bought if I had somehow been able to see into the future.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Right.

[Ava (Caller)]

For the time it fit within my budget for what I needed at the time, for sure.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Okay. So would you say you've been feeling depressed over this decision

[Ava (Caller)]

in. In 2020? I moved in June. Yeah. I believe I moved in end of June 2023. And honestly, from then on, probably until early 2024, I cried every single day.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Oh, no.

[Ava (Caller)]

Now it's not to that level. But there are seasons, for instance, last weekend, where I just cried all through the weekend. So it's not. It's not as intense as it used to be, but there are still moments where I just feel such intense shame, honestly, that I just. I don't know why I've struggled to let go of this feeling, this intense feeling like a failure, like there was something that other adults knew better, and I just messed up, and it is my fault.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

I see.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

Can I ask?

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Of course.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

Is it. Is it the house itself that's making you feel sad, or is it that you chose it, like, because you made the decision and you made maybe a choice for the first time that wasn't correct, or you just didn't know, or things happened that you were not aware of, but you feel like because you made the decision, not because the house has these problems, that's where your. Your frustration is coming from.

[Ava (Caller)]

Thank you for that. I. I think that's a big part of it, because I think about how I've rented places before that perhaps I didn't love as much, but maybe because I didn't own it, it just wasn't an issue. I think. I think that's a huge part of it. That because I made this decision, no one else made it for me. I did. And it hasn't worked out as I would have hoped, that I am honestly taking a lot of the blame. I sometimes have to remind myself that I did work with the realtor, that I trusted, who she knew. This was my first time purchasing a home. I hoped that she would have shared if there was anything that wasn't savory. About the neighborhood that she would have told me. But, um, yeah, I. I think a big part of it is because I made this decision.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

I see. So what have your friends and family had to say about your condo? What are their remarks like?

[Ava (Caller)]

It's been pretty positive. I remember my mom doesn't. Doesn't leave here. I'm Nigerian, and my mom came to visit a few years ago, and that was. I was dreading it because, look, African parents do not mince words. And I was really afraid of what she would say. And, you know, she came and she was like, it's not even as small as I thought it would be from all that you've said. And I just wept because I don't think she understood just how much pressure, like, how afraid I was of what she would say. My friends have been here. The things that I noticed, they don't seem to notice. And they've honestly been really encouraging. I will say. No one has ever made me feel the way that I feel right about it all.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Hmm. So it sounds like you're really being hard on yourself for this. To. To a degree that is unfair to you.

[Khadijah (Caller)]

I know.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Yeah.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

Yeah. Well. And making one wrong decision, like, I'm in the wrong apartment for three years. So we're all gonna choose something, But I think the beauty in it is that you had the choice. So many people don't have the choice to buy a condo or to buy a home because they can't afford it. So I think the fact that the choice was even there is an accomplishment within itself. And, you know, you maybe bought a home that you don't. Like someone did crack rock. Like, people are doing lots of things that could be way worse.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

I promise you. I agree that, you know, as far as, like, decision making goes.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

Yeah, it could be so much worse.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

You could make way worse choices than this.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

Way worse.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

But I think where my focus is, that it sounds like there's a voice that's really hard on you to the point where if you're not perfect, then everything is useless or worthless. Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, she's crying.

[BetterHelp and Squarespace Advertiser]

Crying.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

I'm just wondering who. Who told you you had to. To be perfect at all things at all times? Oh, I'm sorry.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

And it might come from your mother, maybe it comes from religion, but we're not meant to get everything right. And sometimes you make the right decision, and then it changes over time because you got more information, but you're not going to do everything right because it's impossible. And I hope that's Freeing to you to know you did the best you had with the information you were given.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

I also don't necessarily think it's even a wrong decision. Like, I, I, you know, this isn't something that is going to permanently change your life. The market will swing back in the other direction if you outgrow this place. It can be sold, you can buy another one. You know, it's not a permanent part of your life, but it feels like you're really beating yourself up for this. So I'm wondering if you have somebody in your life that you can talk to about the amount of pressure you're putting on yourself. Because I'm sure you're very brilliant and you have a lot of books in your home, so I know you're smart, so I'm sure you're brilliant and accomplished in other ways. But maybe it's hard for you to see or feel that right now because you feel so crushed by the disappointment maybe that you feel in yourself. Does that sound accurate?

[Ava (Caller)]

100. Oh, I have a PhD girl.

[Khadijah (Caller)]

Very hard.

[Ava (Caller)]

But I don't, I, I mean, I, I genuinely, I mean, and I, I, of course, I, I, I have my therapist that I, I talk to. And you know, again, it's in, it's in waves, but sometimes it still gets, it still gets so intense of just, I don't know why I've done this to myself or just feeling like, am I making the, the littles, my nieces, my nephews, my goddaughters, Am I somehow living a life that, that they would be proud of?

[Khadijah (Caller)]

Oh.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Oh, my goodness. You have a whole PhD.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

Yeah. You have a beautiful life. And I know they would be proud of it, especially, like, you know, I think getting the wrong house. Of course, I understand it's upsetting, but they will be proud of you even if you just told them, I made an extra sandwich today.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

I think culturally, you mentioned you're Nigerian. Every Nigerian person I know has been taught to reach for the stars. And if you get anything less than the moon, then you have failed. And so maybe there's something culturally there that has you putting a lot of pressure on yourself, especially the women. But I think you could really benefit from changing the way you talk to yourself. It sounds like you're beating yourself up for this and you don't deserve it. It looks like a lovely home. It may not be, you know, what you would want for yourself long term or permanently, but, you know, I just, I really want to remind you that you are doing an incredible job. Do you know how most Americans can't even read at like a high graduate level. Like, we legit cannot even read. You have accomplished so many things in your life. You've gotten to a place, like Ari said, where you can't even buy a home. And so maybe some additional perspective in that way. Not necessarily saying, you know, oh, well, I shouldn't feel this way because I have all these other things, but like, because then you shame yourself for having the feelings. So we don't want to, we don't need to add any more shame here. You're feeling plenty of that. What we want to do is balance out that shame by taking a look at what is real and reminding yourself of that. Like, this isn't a permanent decision that you can't get out of, first of all. But secondly, there's no way that this one decision erases all of the good that you've done or all the things that you've accomplished in your life.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

Ashley Blaine Featherson Yes.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

And you know, you don't have to impress them kids, but I'm sure they are impressed by you. I'm sure they are. I'm sure they are.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

She has all the snacks at her home. Like, I know they're impressed.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Look at these books.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

Yes, I would have.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

If you were my auntie, I would be over there like, and I'll be in my reading corner reading books and being proud of you for owning your home and having a PhD and doing all the things you're doing. A black woman having her own period. I'mma celebrate you every single time. So I'm glad to hear that you're working with a therapist. I would really encourage you to, when you notice those self defeating thoughts kicking up, to just try to reframe them. To change that voice or to introduce a new voice that says, you know, you're really beating me up. Like I don't have a whole ass PhD. Like I'm not a whole ass bad bitch out here.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

Like, you're that bitch for real.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Maybe come up off of me. You know?

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

Exactly.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

I'm not in prison. I'm not going to see Chris Brown on tour.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

You could be a baby mama right now.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Nice to me right now.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

You could be pregnant.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

You need to talk nice to me. You need to talk nice because I've done incredible things too. And you're being a little unfair. You're taking it a little far with the meanness. Whatever that voice is, wherever it came from, you deserve to shut it down.

[Khadijah (Caller)]

Thank you.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Oh my goodness. Thank you so much for calling into the Show. Take good care of yourself. Thank you. Keep working with that therapist. And congratulations.

[Ava (Caller)]

Thank you for everything. Thank you.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Oh, you're so welcome. Oh, thank you. Thank you, baby. I appreciate you calling into the show.

[Ava (Caller)]

Thank you for having me. All right, thank you.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Bye.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

Bye.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Oh, my goodness, Ari, can you believe that?

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

She was so sweet, wasn't she? Beautiful girl.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Okay.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

Gorgeous. Books behind her.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

That's what I'm saying.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

And books are expensive. Paper is $5. I said, oh, she's rich.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

You over there counting it up.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

Like, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold up. I'm like, what do you do for work?

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Can I hold a dollar, baby? But see, that's the sort of pressure black women put on ourselves. And like I said, some of it can be cultural. I know you also mentioned, like, listen, I got Caribbean family. And I know what that pressure and that guilt is like.

[Khadijah (Caller)]

Yes.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

So we can really be super hard on ourselves. And you can be brilliant, beautiful, so accomplished, PhD and all, and still feel like it's not good enough because you made one choice that you feel is a mistake.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

And I hope that she knows there is so many other things she could have did wrong. She's doing an amazing job.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

I think you illustrated that.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

I mean, it could have, but she could be. I'm gonna keep that.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Pregnant is not wrong. Well, it depends. Yeah, I'm like, well, but you know it. Yes. There are. There are things in this life that you can't just snap your fingers and get out of. And not saying that that would necessarily be an easy process, but she's definitely beating herself up unnecessarily. So good luck, Ava. We're rooting for you, baby.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

We're rooting for you. We're all rooting for you.

[BetterHelp and Squarespace Advertiser]

This episode of Crystal's Couch is sponsored by BetterHelp. May is mental health awareness month. And I want to remind you that whatever it is you're going through, you don't have to go through it alone. Life is full of ups and downs. And if you're anything like me, you're very, very used to isolating yourself and

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

trying to figure it all out on your own.

[BetterHelp and Squarespace Advertiser]

But the truth is that no human is an island. And we all deserve to have someone who listens, understands, and supports us through life's challenges. It truly can make all the difference. So this month is really a great time to check in with yourself and understand where you are right now. Feeling overwhelmed, stuck, anxious, or unsure is way more common than you think it is, babe. We've all been there before. And honestly, we'll probably be there again.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Okay?

[BetterHelp and Squarespace Advertiser]

There's no need to try to do it all yourself.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

If you've been feeling this way, regularly

[BetterHelp and Squarespace Advertiser]

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[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

L E

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[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

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[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

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[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

All right, up next we have Khadijah. You ready to talk to her?

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

Yes, I can't wait.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Okay. Okay, so we have Khadijah on the line. Hello.

[Khadijah (Caller)]

Hi, how are you?

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

I'm good. What's going on?

[Khadijah (Caller)]

Oh, just things. So okay. Hi, I'm Khadijah, black lady of my 30s and I've been dating a gender non conforming person, also in their 30s and for about a year.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

A year.

[Khadijah (Caller)]

It's been going fine for the year. It's been lovely getting to know them and sharing commonalities and everything. It's been great. But recently I had noticed a while back that some of their text messages had started becoming a little less frequent, a little less loving. It felt like a pullback of energy. And one thing that I told them early on from when we were dating was that they needed to be upfront with me if feelings changed. I've had a past before relationship where it was very vague and left me in the dark and I hate feeling like that. So turns out that that's what they were doing to me. We had a talk that they set up with me in person and told me that within that time that I was feeling the energy pullback, they were going through their own thing with wrestling with the fact that I was reminding them of their mother at times. Specifically the last time that we were together and they mentioned that my silhouette had reminded them of their mom. My perfume, the way that I smile. And they said it had nothing to do with me particularly nothing that I could do. But they are going to go into therapy and try and figure it out and hopefully we can still remain friends. But they can't date me or be physical anymore. And if they figure out what they have going on in therapy, then they'll try and work things out with me dating wise. So I'm just wondering if, could you just slow down, fall into a friendship like they're offering and if there's even a chance that a dating could happen in the future because of after this.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Right. Well, do you still want to date them?

[Khadijah (Caller)]

Yeah, like I, I do, I do, yes, in a way. But this is a big thing to try and get over.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

Yes.

[Khadijah (Caller)]

Because they said it's not about me, but they kept rattling things off that are about me that triggered them. So it's tough to get past that.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Uh huh.

[Khadijah (Caller)]

Yeah.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Well, just because they're naming characteristics that belong to you doesn't mean it's about you. It is genuinely about them and whatever they have going on. And it may be that those things remind them of their mother, those things about you, but that doesn't mean that it's. The issue is you. The issue is whatever they have going on internally or whatever their relationship is like with their mother. But I can see how that would be extremely off putting. And this offer of like being friends, how did, how did that feel when you first heard that? Cause you're giving me a face like.

[Khadijah (Caller)]

Cause it's terrible. And I was boo hooey and stuff because I'm a crier. But like, yeah, I really dated them slow in order to try and build up the relationship. Right. Because I'm a lover girl. So I was really trying to get to know them. And so for this to come up and I feel like they kind of backtracked on one of the basic things that I mentioned. Like, don't be vague with me. They held this back from me for days. It was two weeks of me wondering why is this energy pulling back before they actually said something. So I feel a little betrayal there with their communication because that was one of the things I liked about them the most is that they were so open to me. So they were keeping that. So. Yeah, that too. I need that to be improved.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

Can I ask how long you dated this person?

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Or a year. Right?

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

It's a year.

[Ava (Caller)]

Yeah.

[Khadijah (Caller)]

A year.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Yeah. Okay.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

I. Okay. I'm not as eloquent as Krystal. So one, I think a year is a long time and that's a lot to invest emotionally, especially if you're, you know, really putting your heart out there. However, one year down the drain is better than the rest of your life with the wrong person. And you know, I don't understand why someone who loves you would also be comparing you to their mother and be like, hey, I can't be with you in a way. And why would they want to fuck their mom? Like, it's a lot of things that don't make no sense. Yeah.

[Ava (Caller)]

Like what?

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

I'm confused.

[Khadijah (Caller)]

And that's the thing, too. I want to be clear. Like, they don't have a good relationship with their mom.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Right.

[Khadijah (Caller)]

It's a terrible one. They haven't been. Their mother hasn't been accepting of them on their gender identity and things like that. So that's the thing, too. It's like, their mother sounds horrible, but with me, yeah. I ain't nowhere near all of that. So it's like, not even that fact can get you over. And they said that it hasn't been in a sexual way, which is why they use the term Oedipus complex. But that's what that means is sexual. So I think it's just the reminder.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Yeah.

[Khadijah (Caller)]

But I can't think of that for them. It's too much. I'm in my feelings.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Yeah. And I mean, not to mention your silhouette was the same a year ago. So how is it just now turning into, like, some sort of issue where you need to go talk to somebody about it?

[Khadijah (Caller)]

Correct. And then they said perfume was some, like, big box store perfume that they mom wear. And I don't wear that. Just designer. So now. Now I'm offended. Yeah.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

How dare you accuse me of wearing something cheap. That's so real.

[Khadijah (Caller)]

But, yeah. So I just. I don't want to jump into it and then also have my feelings because I do somewhat hope that we get back together. Yeah. But I definitely want them to get through that. And I'm just wondering what even a process would be for them getting through that, how long that would take. Because I don't want to wait around either.

[BetterHelp and Squarespace Advertiser]

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[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

And that's exactly what I was going to say.

[Ava (Caller)]

You.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

And you shouldn't, like, you absolutely should not be putting your life on hold while this person figures out whatever it is they have going on. But the betrayal is still there and the hurt is still there. And it's not even just about this person. You've had a similar experience before. So this is bringing up old wounds. And it could be stuff connected to not even just previous relationships, but, you know, your younger adulthood, teenage childhood years and stuff like that. So it's not just this one instance. It's how it all connects to your life and makes it a bigger thing for you to have to face and Deal with. So I'm curious how you've been handling your feelings.

[Khadijah (Caller)]

I mean, I just. I let myself cry and whatnot. I'm recently medicated too, so that's been helpful. But I mean, I just. I have a friend group that I talk to and have shared things with. Good past that I really do want to have just more in depth conversation with the person to see more details because when they were telling me this, I'm just taking it in, crying and wanting to leave. Yeah, I definitely did not have it in me at the time. So I feel that, yes, we need to have another talk.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Yeah.

[Khadijah (Caller)]

Genuinely, I don't just want to cuss them out. I just. Because I care about what they're going through. It's not like they did anything. They didn't do anything to me, but it's like, it just sucks, so.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Right.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

Very hurtful.

[Khadijah (Caller)]

Like, I still have compassion for them, but I don't want to not date them, but I don't want to be made a fool.

[BetterHelp and Squarespace Advertiser]

When.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

When did you all have this conversation about everything ending?

[Khadijah (Caller)]

Say again?

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

When did you all have this conversation about everything ending?

[Khadijah (Caller)]

Oh, and this was like last month. Yeah.

[BetterHelp and Squarespace Advertiser]

Okay.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

So it's fresh.

[Khadijah (Caller)]

Mm.

[BetterHelp and Squarespace Advertiser]

Yeah.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Okay, so it still hurts. Okay, so it. So then it makes sense that you're still dealing with your feelings about it and that your feelings are still very tender. I'm wondering what you think a conversation with them is going to solve here or what is it gonna make better.

[Khadijah (Caller)]

Mm. For me, it's a genuine understanding about it. Because if. If you're saying that it's not about me, but you describe me, that's what's hard to disconnect too. Then I. I need to know why is it the case that you think you need to cut off us still getting to know each other and trying to build a life together potentially. I. I have to talk these things through and then tell more about what I. How I feel about it and what position it put me in, because I didn't get to do much talking about that either.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

Do you hope for reconciliation in that talk?

[Khadijah (Caller)]

I mean, not immediately. Not like immediately back, like nothing ever happened, but maybe to try for the friendship that they talking about. Yeah, it's definitely required for even a possibility.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Well, I'm of the opinion that when our feelings are this raw, we really owe it to ourselves to make what's best for us our top priority. And I understand why you want to have the conversation, because it seems like that that might provide some information that would be really helpful for you to like, sort of move on and get through this. But at the same time, if that hope of reconciliation is in the back of your mind, it may also be that you all come to the end of this convo, y' all are still separated, and your feelings are even more hurt. It could be that you're just picking off the scab that's been trying to grow and the hurt is coming back completely anew.

[Khadijah (Caller)]

Yeah.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

So I just think that, you know, it's important to let yourself feel this. I hope you're not numbing it with alcohol or weed or anything like that. You really gotta let yourself.

[Ava (Caller)]

So

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

trust me, trust me, because I know exactly what this is like when you get your hopes up about somebody and you feel excited and you think this might really be something, and then just out of nowhere, it's over. That's so hard to deal with. But I don't know that a conversation with them is going to be what helps you the most. And I don't know that a friendship is even what would be a good idea for you at this point because your feelings for them are not strictly platonic.

[Khadijah (Caller)]

Yeah, right.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Yeah. I think you probably need a few more months of healing before a friendship is even possible. I think that part of your brain that wants them back is gonna be kicking and screaming the whole time. But I get it. I get it. I do. I understand.

[Khadijah (Caller)]

Thank you. Yeah, it's. It's.

[Ava (Caller)]

Ugh.

[Khadijah (Caller)]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

That is all really good.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

Yep.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Yeah, I get it. I do. And I'm wishing you the best of luck. And listen, if you decide to go have that conversation, email me back because I'm sure get the part two to kind of go. I'm sure there will be a follow up. If you decide to go have this conversation. You're gonna be like, you were right. Oh, my God.

[Khadijah (Caller)]

If you know what's gonna be right, I'll give it to you.

[Ross Store Advertiser]

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[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Yes, it's fine. But, you know, it sounds like you're doing a good job of taking care of your feelings. I just want you to keep prioritizing that because you deserve that. And your ex partner is not going to be in a position to put you first. Only you are.

[Ava (Caller)]

Yes.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

And in the interim, in the extra time you have, maybe try some new hobbies, try some new things. I don't know if you want to, you know, maybe try pottery. Well, there is that. You know, try skating, go out, put on a cute outfit, get drunk.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Yes.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

Responsibly. You know, go out with your friends.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Put on some red and go flirt. Yes.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

Put a nasty heel on. You know. You know, the bitches don't wear heels no more. Put on a nasty heel.

[Khadijah (Caller)]

Show them platform sandal.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Yeah, whatever you gotta do. Listen, baby, spring is here. The temperature's going up.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

It's about to be summer.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Yeah, ahrii's right. Go, you know, put yourself out there. Go do other things. But remember that only you can guard and protect your heart.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

Yes.

[Khadijah (Caller)]

Yes.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

I'm sorry you're hurting. I know how it is, and I'm wishing you the best, baby.

[Khadijah (Caller)]

Thank you.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Good luck, Khadijah.

[Ava (Caller)]

Bye.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

All right.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

Bye.

[Khadijah (Caller)]

Bye.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Oh, my goodness. Bless Khadijah.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

She was so sweet.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Okay. And hurting. I mean, haven't we all been in that situation, though?

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

Yes, I'm in it right now.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Same where it's like, damn, I thought this was gonna work out. And then here you go, changing your mind.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

It's like the. You know, the past memories and the future plans and everything's just kind of gone. So I definitely feel for her, but I hope she puts on a scene. Sickening dress.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Okay.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

Goes out, listen to some music. You like.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Yes.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

Maybe have a little shot or two. Responsibly. And have a time. Call your home, girls. Call your girls. Don't put on Mariah the Scientist. Put on Meg. Put on Ken the Man. Oh, my God.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Put on Ken the Man.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

Put on Ken the Man.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Ken the man is perfect for this. Yes. You gotta have a balance between sitting there, feeling your feelings. Yes. Sometimes you're gonna cry, you're gonna be angry and all that. But then you also have to get yourself out there and rejoin the world. Because one monkey don't stop no show.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

Put on Mona Leo. Okay, that's the one.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Not that love song about her husband. The rest of it.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

The rest of it.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Oh, Khadijah. I'm wishing you the best, baby. But this is a kind of universal heartbreak. Like, we've all been there and it's just a part of life.

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[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

So we had some fun talking to these people live, didn't we? Do you have anything you want to ask me before we wrap up our time together? What's up, girl?

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

Now I get to have my momentary questions. I need the advice.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Okay.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

Recently I was. You know, I have tons of jobs, whatever. And a coworker called a big meeting, and everyone came in. This actually happened yesterday.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Okay.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

And he's kind of like the general manager, and he called everyone in, and I thought it was this big, important meeting. I'm like, oh, I have to take off from my day job to be here. Just for us to be there for 10 minutes for him to embarrass me. And he pulled an audio recording because I had did something. And he. And mind you, everyone there is like, why are we here for this?

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Right?

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

And he's just flaming me. Like, mind you, he's a white man. Everybody else here is black. But he's like, lashings, bitch. Lashings in front of everyone. And I'm like, you know, and thankfully, I'm very good at being stoic when I'm shocked. Okay, shout out to my Caribbean upbringing.

[Ava (Caller)]

Okay, shout out to my mama.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

You'll never see it on my face.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

You'll never know.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

I know that's right. And he.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

To the point where he looked at me and, like, started laughing. I was like, oh, why are you laughing? He was like, you don't have a reaction? You don't have nothing to say? I was like, no, I don't have a reaction. And then he, like, left. And then one of the guys that was there, he was like. So we just came to watch him flame Ari in front of us.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

What?

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

And I, like, walked out and was like, yeah. Anyway, y' all have a good day. You know. You know you that bitch when you cause all this conversation. I mean, you got to call a whole meeting for me, but I have to go back there next week, and I don't know what to do. And the person that helped him to do this is someone I work with directly every time I'm there.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Okay, Is he. But this man is your boss?

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

Yes.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Okay.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

He's all of our boss.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Okay.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

And again, he's a white man. Everyone else black.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Got you. So does he have somebody he reports to or he's like the CEO?

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

I don't know. I don't think so, though.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Okay.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

Because everyone was like, oh, if he's calling a meeting, like, it's important.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Gotcha.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

And I'm think I didn't know what. No one knew what the meeting was for.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Okay.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

So I'm like, oh, la la la. Hey, everyone.

[Khadijah (Caller)]

And then boom.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

So the purpose was just to embarrass

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

you or to get. To humble me, to. I don't know, to make me feel bad or I guess sometimes to maybe I'm bigger than I thought. So this is like. You'll never be bigger than the program here.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Oh, wow. So. But there was no, like, disciplinary. No follow up, no like I'm putting you on some sort of written warning or anything. It was just.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

That's the. I'm like, am I being fired? No.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

What?

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

So all this was just like to

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

do it literally just to try to humble you.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

And I don't know when I have to go back there next week, what I'm gonna do.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Yeah. So I think in this case, I would schedule a meeting with him. I would email him or his assistant and be like, I think you and I need to talk privately. The same way. We don't say this part, but the same way. You could have just had a meeting with me privately if you had an issue, white man. But don't say that part.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

I felt it, though, on the inside. I'm like, I've seen him so many times. He could have just said something.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Right.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

But no, he purposefully called everyone, everyone we work with to be like, you did this wrong.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

All hands, all called to.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

It was all hands.

[Khadijah (Caller)]

I'm like, wow.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Yeah. I would try to get on his calendar and be like me. And you need to have. Even if it's just a 15, 20 minute check in, we need to have a conversation about that meeting and what the purpose was. Because I still don't understand. I don't understand what the purp. This was and I don't understand why you went about it in that way so publicly. Right. Do you think this is the sort of thing where you all can have a conversation and you won't feel awkward at the office anymore? Or are you like, I'll never get over this and I'll never forgive you?

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

I'm probably never forgiving. I'll be honest.

[Ava (Caller)]

I'm like.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

Cause it kind of, you know, I lead where I'M a genuine person. I treat people a certain way, but that doesn't mean everyone else is. And especially in certain corporate environments or whatever, people feel like you're beneath me or if you're doing too well, I gotta remind you of your place. And, you know, it's just unfortunate, but it's like, I still gotta come here,

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

so I don't know what to do, right? And, you know, the economy's terrible, so it's not as easy as just quit that job.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

Who you telling? I'm jealous of the girl with the house. She like, oh, my house is terrible. Girl. Put me in it. Give it to me. Let me step into your office.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Ava. Girl, Girl, I'll take it.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

Call me today.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Yeah, I'm gonna try to. If I were you, I would try to have a meeting with him to be like, let's, let's, let's. I don't want to have an attitude with you, but I'm really not understanding the purpose of that meeting or why we went about it that way. So if I could just sit down in front of you so we could have a one on one so I can figure out what the goal is here. Because if you were trying to correct a mistake or get me to adjust my behavior, there are much better ways of going about it. Which he, as a boss, should know. Doesn't sound like he's that great of a leader. No, I would honestly, I would try to get. Have a meeting. That meeting's probably gonna be unproductive. And then I would just stay out of his way as much as possible and make sure I'm on my P's and Q's so he don't have another reason to come at me crazy until I can find another job.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

I know that's right.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

I'm sorry, though, because I would be pissed. And it feels like he did it just to see you look like he wanted to see you look sad or angry or whatever. Like he wanted that reaction.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

He was begging for it, and I wasn't gonna give it. Bullshit.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Bullshit.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

I wasn't gonna give it. You know, I think it's because I was so taken aback. Cause I genuinely didn't know what we were there for. And I never would have seen this coming. But I think it also shows me maybe I am bigger than I think you gotta call 20 people in a room for me, for all of this, for me.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

You know, you that bitch.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

What do you call all this conversation? Y' all hoes know y' all can't fuck with me.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Maybe he's intimidated by you and your success. Maybe he feels threatened by that. Maybe he wants to make you feel small so, like, you'll stay in your place.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

He's upset because my knees don't have arthritis. Like, he's miserable. That's what he's upset about, sir.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

You're mad cause I'm not old. Chill out.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

I'm telling you. Damn. I still have all my hair. That's what you're pissed about? What are we doing?

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Oh, girl, that's a mess. Hopefully y' all can come to some sort of understanding to where the workplace isn't awkward for you, but, you know, and that white man in charge of a bunch of black people. Don't get me started on that dynamic.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

Right?

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Oh, see, I didn't want to say it.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

It gave. Gave it. You know, I ain't say the word, but he gave it. I said, oh, yeah, you know, it gave.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

What's your name?

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

Y' all talk about, put your trust in the nigga. Put your trust in white people.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

What a mess.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

That's the one. I'm confused with him. I don't understand.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Horrible.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

It's always a white man.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

And he played with you.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

And I thought he was nice. I was like, oh, he's really nice. He told me about his biracial children. I was like, oh, yeah.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Interesting.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

It's been a weird time.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Yeah. Try to have that conversation. But you already know how to move around him. Now he's shown you his true color. So just don't forget that. Just always keep that in the back of your mind. You know what this man is capable of.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

But, Krystal, thank you so much for having me. No, thank you. I am so honored. I truly look up to you so much, and I'm just so grateful to have gotten this opportunity. I kept saying, I feel like Cinderella. I'm wearing blue. I'm like, I'm bringing Brandi, Rodgers and Hammerstein. Who's Whitney Houston? Where is that Asian man that I'mma be with?

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Oh, yes. Where's your Asian prince?

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

Where's my Asian prince?

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Yeah. Cause I'm his mama. Whoopi.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

Bye. All right.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Oh, my God. Ari, Kari, please tell the people where they can find you.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

You can follow me at I Amrikari on instagram and I amrikari1 on TikTok. And the Step Into My Office Friend podcast is coming soon.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

Mm. Yeah, you could catch her making Delulu Hive comments on TikTok, trying to investigate everything Beyonce does. Cause she's one of them. See, here she is.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

It's happening. She just talked to us, and I feel like this is her giving us a sign.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

I got her wound up.

[Khadijah (Caller)]

Don't get.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

My eyes are gonna start going cross.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

I'll be like, oh, my goodness.

[Ari Kari (Guest, Celebrity Marketing and PR Strategist)]

I'm feral.

[Krystal (Host of Crystal's Couch)]

All right, y', all, thank you for tuning in this week to Crystal's Couch. You can follow us online at Chrysalis Couch. And if you have a question for me, please send me an email. Advicerystlescouch.com we'll see you next week.