Session 3

Summary

Crissle’s Couch

Session 3 – Listener Letters & Real Talk
Date: November 25, 2025
Host: Crissle (A)
Guest: Jade (B)

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Main Theme / Purpose

This episode of Crissle’s Couch returns to the heart of the show: navigating real-life dilemmas through wise, often hilarious advice and no-nonsense conversation. Crissle and recurring favorite Jade settle in for an extended listener Q&A, dealing with complex (often messy) issues around friendship, cohabitation, generational trauma, romantic rejection, and the blurry lines of relationships. The duo mixes sharp cultural critique, their own lived experience, and genuinely caring guidance—leaving listeners feeling seen, challenged, and sometimes gently roasted.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Roommate Drama & Unrequited Feelings

(00:43–13:59)
Letter from “Keke Palmer’s Cocoa Butter Formula”

• Situation:
  A Black bisexual woman co-parenting a child, living with her long-time white bestie and roommate (also bi). Both have a platonic but extremely close bond. Current tension revolves around the roommate’s disrespectful boyfriend and possible unacknowledged romantic feelings between the two women.

• Advice Highlights:

  • Crissle urges radical honesty with oneself: Is this jealousy about the boyfriend, or is it deeper—i.e., hidden romantic feelings? Signs (“Have you ever disliked her girlfriends as much as you dislike her boyfriends?”).
  • If romantic feelings exist, it’s worth risking the conversation: “The other side of that is potentially missing out on the love of your life.” (05:04 – Crissle)
  • On the boyfriend: Both hosts agree he’s rude (e.g. refuses to say “hi” in someone else’s house)—but also question whether Keke herself is unpleasant when drinking, suggesting everyone reflect on their own behavior before escalating drama.
  • Cultural nuance: The “greet everyone when you enter a home” debate—framed as a Black cultural expectation vs. (sometimes) white people’s different manners.
  • Living together means both have rights—no easy way to bar a boyfriend outright; a candid conversation is better than edicts.
  • If feelings are reciprocal, “Y’all need to quit playing and just be with each other.” (10:13 – Crissle)
  • If not, consider reassessing the living situation at lease’s end to spare ongoing heartbreak.

• Notable Quotes:

  • “Do you kind of turn into a crazy bitch when you drink?...I have been that girl, so I’m legit not judging.” (05:14 – Crissle)
  • “We don’t speak to each other, bitch. I thought that was well-established.” (07:14 – Crissle)
  • “You don’t want to be at her wedding in a yellow dress, sitting in the pew, pissed the fuck off because you never expressed yourself…” (12:24 – Jade)
  • “Dear diary, do I want to bump boochies with my bestie?” (13:24 – Jade, humorously distilling the issue)

2. Boundaries with Emotionally Abusive Parents

(14:08–24:02)
Letter from “Octavia, Spencer and Heidi”

• Situation:
  Adult daughter has gone no-contact with her mother due to repeated emotional abuse, now triggered by witnessing similar behavior towards her own son.

• Advice Highlights:

  • Crissle commends the writer for drawing the line: “I couldn’t get away from it, but there’s no way you about to put my baby through that.” (17:11)
  • Shares her own stories of confronting parents, noting outcomes differ by person (“My dad got very angry and defensive…My mom apologized—hasn’t changed, but apologized.”).
  • Encourages having one clear, final conversation so there are no lingering regrets—lay out boundaries and be specific about consequences.
  • Jade notes sometimes grandchildren shift perspectives, but also cautions: “You won’t know unless you do that.”
  • Both hosts affirm the importance of standing firm: if boundaries are not respected, reinforce them with real action.

• Notable Quotes:

  • “Sometimes you just gotta show people that fat meat is greasy.” (23:20 – Crissle)
  • “It’s important to pick consequences that you can actually follow through with. The moment you fold, she will know you didn’t mean it.” (21:14 – Crissle)

3. Handling Romantic Rejection in Friendships

(24:08–32:12)
Letter from “Halle Berries and Cream”

• Situation:
  Listener confessed feelings to a friend and was softly rejected. Wants to maintain friendship without sinking into low self-esteem or relentless self-comparisons.

• Advice Highlights:

  • The “standard advice” (time, space, distraction) is reiterated by Crissle, who also acknowledges: “Comparing yourself…what’s the goal there?” (26:09)
  • Emphasizes: “Just because somebody doesn’t share your same feelings doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you.”
  • Sometimes rejection is about intangible chemistry; change can’t be forced.
  • Suggests honest self-affirmation about one’s own value and qualities, and gives permission to take distance: “You can’t just be all up in this person’s face every other day.”
  • Both recommend being patient, reframing, and collecting some “variety pack of crushes” to help move on.

• Notable Quotes:

  • “There’s few things worse than crying over the same person twice.” (48:04 – Crissle, in a later letter—applies here too)
  • “If you couldn’t see that, that’s on you.” (27:12 – Jade)
  • “Once you get a crush on somebody else, it will be much easier…” (31:23 – Crissle)

4. Getting Older Teens to Engage in Therapy

(32:14–38:42)
Letter from “SWV Nasty”

• Situation:
  A single mom of four (ages 19, 17, 6, 4), struggling to get her older two into therapy after family trauma; the younger ones are less resistant.

• Advice Highlights:

  • Crissle affirms that therapy can’t be forced: “You cannot force therapy onto somebody if they’re not ready to do the work.”
  • Suggests alternate methods—books (e.g. Recovering from Emotionally Immature Parents, Dr. Gibson), ongoing honest dialogue, and, importantly, mom going to therapy herself as modeling.
  • Jade points to possible resentment issues among older siblings: “Maybe there was a little neglect on their emotions... while those younger ones needed the attention.”
  • Both agree different dynamics need different approaches; younger kids can still benefit from play therapy.

• Notable Quotes:

  • “You heal yourself in therapy. Therapists don’t heal you.” (34:02 – Crissle)
  • “Maybe if anybody goes to therapy, it’s you…just so you’re more aware of your patterns.” (38:44 – Crissle)
  • “Parenting is often thankless and a grueling job.” (38:44 – Crissle)

5. Exes, Sex, and Blurred Boundaries

(39:14–49:08)
Letter from “Tyra Banks are Closed on Holidays”

• Situation:
  Listener’s ex of six years (who once ignored her in public) suddenly reconnected for sex, citing personal struggles like depression and job loss. After rekindling things physically, she’s suspicious she’s just a “bed-warmer” until he starts dating again, and worries about repeating heartbreak.

• Advice Highlights:

  • Crissle: “I think you know that you’re a distraction when he told you he just recently decided to take a break from dating…” (41:19)
  • Both acknowledge the comfort of “dependable genitals,” but stress the dangers of emotional entanglement with exes.
  • Jade outlines the slippery slope from “just sex” to emotional confusion—shares her own story of physical reconnection with an ex leading to boundary-crossing.
  • Crissle’s rule: Circling the block with an ex usually ends with remembering “why we broke up.”
  • Strong advice to cut off the physical relationship before getting hurt a second time.

• Notable Quotes:

  • “There are a few things worse than crying over the same person twice.” (48:04 – Crissle)
  • “He’s not the only one with good dick in this world, sister. I promise you, whatever he’s doing in the bedroom, somebody else can do it – and better.” (48:21 – Crissle)

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Notable Quotes & Moments with Timestamps

• On self-reflection in friendship:
  “Ask yourself: Do you daydream about her? Do you have sexual dreams or fantasies? Have you ever immediately disliked any of her girlfriends?” (03:59 – Crissle)

• On boundary setting as an adult child:
  “Lay out for her what your problem is and what you feel is unacceptable treatment...like you said you did already. Not just for you, but also for your son...” (20:56 – Crissle)

• On sibling/child resentment:
  “There might be some resentment from what they had to witness and encounter…that the 4 and 6 year old are free from.” (36:49 – Jade)

• On circling back to exes:
  “Every single time I decided to circle the block, it has been a mistake. And sooner or later, I’m gonna remember why we broke up.” (46:35 – Crissle)

• On dealing with rejection:
  “If you couldn’t see that, that’s on you.” (27:14 – Jade)

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Key Timestamps for Segments

• 00:43 – Jade joins for listener emails
• 03:39 – Deep dive into Keke Palmer’s Cocoa Butter Formula’s letter (roommate/queer tension)
• 14:08 – Octavia’s question on mother/daughter emotional abuse
• 24:08 – Halle Berries and Cream’s letter: handling romantic rejection
• 32:14 – SWV Nasty’s letter: therapy-resistant teens
• 39:14 – Tyra Banks are Closed on Holidays: sex, exes, and boundaries
• 49:08 – Episode wrap-up and sign-off

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Tone & Language

• Warm, direct, and frequently hilarious; doesn’t shy from blunt language or tough love (“Do you kind of turn into a crazy bitch when you drink?”).
• Culturally rooted conversations (esp. around Black/white home etiquette and family trauma).
• Uses affectionate teasing and vivid metaphors to keep advice relatable.
• Advocacy throughout for honest emotional self-work and dignity.

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Summary Takeaway

This episode of Crissle’s Couch is a masterclass in blending humor, candor, and genuine care. Crissle and Jade expertly navigate their listeners’ vulnerable questions, delivering advice that is culturally specific, emotionally intelligent, and often laugh-out-loud funny. Every story is handled with a balance of empathy and realness—making this essential listening for anyone tumbling through the complicated mess of modern life, relationships, and family.

Transcript

[A]

Hello and welcome. Just kidding. Oh, we're good. Okay, thank you. Hi, and welcome back to Krystal's Couch. I'm Krystal, and today I'm so glad to have one of my favorite people back on the couch with me, my good friend Jade. If you heard our very first episode, go ahead and do your burr burper again. If you heard our very first episode, then you already know how much fun Jade brings to the conversation and how sharp her perspective. And I mean, honestly, she just keeps me laughing, this girl, and the hijinks and shenanigans. She comes up with one of my faves, sincerely. Thank you for coming back, sister.

[B]

Thank you for having me.

[A]

So today we are teaming up again to go through your questions and whatever else y' all decided to throw our way. The goal here is to mix insight with humor, keep it real, and hopefully you'll leave feeling like you've had a lot of fun sitting right here with us on the couch. So. So let's jump in and see what y' all had to say.

[B]

All right, our first listener's name.

[A]

Jade. Just. Just who is it, girl?

[B]

Keke Palmer's cocoa butter formula. And she writes, I'm a 28 year old black woman chef and a mom of a six year old boy on the spectrum. His father lives an hour away, but we're co parenting. My roommate is a 28 year old white woman, manager of a big fashion company and godmother to my son. She's not just my roommate, but my bestie since middle school. We are both bisexual. And even though we were each other's first girl kiss, I think we subconsciously agree that we can't mess up the friendship and just let it be okay. I usually don't like her boyfriends. I try, but they suck. Some of the men I've dated suck too. My ex husband, most importantly, well. So I kind of just let her do her thing as to not be a hypocrite. I listen to the issues she has with men and offer advice. But. But I always tell her that I can't tell her what to do, even if I think it's wrong. She's been dating this guy for about a year now, on and off. For the first time, the guy beat me to not liking him by deciding to hate me first love. That he told me to my face while I was drinking that he doesn't like me when I'm drinking. As if I asked. I read him to filth and now everyone thinks I'm the villain. This didn't have to be an issue because I feel like me and your man don't gotta be friends. I just ask that he's respectful when he's in the the man hates when she and I hang out for more than a couple of days in a row. He makes her feel bad when she goes on trips and manipulates her to help his broke ass out. The disrespect comes in when he comes to the house and doesn't say hi. Now I don't know if this is a black house thing, but I was taught that when you walk into someone's home, you say hi to everyone in sight. Facts, opinions, opinions, opinions. But facts. This dude won't even say hi when he comes through the door. Then he goes to her and says, I don't know why she won't talk to me. I've spoken to both of them about it. I've told her he's just determined not to like me. And I usually love haters, but not in my home. It actually makes me mad that he don't say shit to me and hides in her room when I'm home. That's fucking weird. And I know I'm outside looking in, but oh my God, this man is terrible for my friend and I don't want him here when I'm here. However, I'm wondering if I feel like this so often because of some deep rooted jealousy that really means I want her to myself. We tell people we're in platonic marriage all the time, but then sometimes I feel like, why can't we try it? But I also don't want to ruin things by mentioning a different kind of relationship between the two of us.

[A]

Got it.

[B]

Am I only thinking about being in a relationship with her because she knows me so deeply? How do you determine between this is just a really good friend and this is someone I want to be with and how do I tell my roommate I don't want this man in the house when I'm here? Even though she's also paying to live here as well. Thanks. Keke Palmer's Cocoa Butter Formula so if.

[A]

You think you might actually have feelings for this girl, that changes my advice entirely. Cause you know do you're gonna have to ask yourself that question. Is there some deep rooted jealousy here? Do you actually secretly wish you could be with this girl and you're just scared of messing up the relationship because you know that's two very different questions. Like the advice I give you is very different based off how it is you're really feeling so only you can answer that. Do you daydream about her? Do you have sexual dreams or fantasies about her? Have you ever immediately disliked any of her girlfriends the way you usually dislike her boyfriends?

[B]

Valid.

[A]

I mean, I'm just saying these could be big signs that your feelings for her are deeper than what your conscious mind is acknowledging. So if you do have romantic feelings for her, I think it's worth it to say so. Even if it does damage the friendship, because the other side of that is potentially missing out on the love of your life.

[B]

Yeah, that's what I was thinking.

[A]

Even though she was right under your nose the whole time. Y' all really are like the queer roommates, but y'. All. But, like, y' all are really just roommates, but the whole time, y' all are deeply in love with each other and you're just scared to say something. So ask yourself those questions. Figure out if you do feel something deeper for her. Um, but as for the rest of this, I mean, sister, I'm a. I'mma hold your hand delicately when I say this. Does this man have a point about the way you act when you're drinking? I'm just saying. I'm just saying cussing somebody out for voicing a valid criticism is understandable if you're feeling defensive. I think most of us probably would do that. But this is something worth exploring within yourself. Do you kind of turn into a crazy bitch when you drink? Do you? I've been there. I'm not judging. I have been that girl, so I'm legit not judging. But it could be that you're a dick when you're drunk or when you've been drinking, like, are you just an asshole and you feel like, well, I don't like men and I don't like this man, so I don't give a fuck. I can just be rude and disrespectful. Like, he's still your roommate's guest. You don't have to like him. But being shitty to him, unprompted for no reason, that's kind of an asshole move. Hmm. So you might even owe this white man an apology, which I can't think of anything worse. Tricky. Apologizing to a white man. What you mean? They supposed to apologize to me forever and always for the shit they've done. But you might owe this one an apology. And I would say something else you might not like. And I know the blacks are finna come for me, but I don't think it's disrespectful. To not speak to somebody that you know don't like you.

[B]

Yeah, I'm not speaking to you. I'm not.

[A]

But. Okay, so it's weird, right? It's weird that he then goes and complains to the roommate is like, I don't know why she won't talk to me like this.

[B]

No, that's bitch behavior.

[A]

Right? And so that's why I'm like, that's passive aggressive, bitch made type of shit. Don't be like, I don't know why she won't speak to me, bitch. Cause you walk in my house and you don't speak to me.

[B]

You don't speak to me. So we don't speak to each other. Hello.

[A]

Hello? We don't speak to each other, bitch. I thought that was well established. But I don't necessarily think you're like, well, it's disrespectful because he comes in the house and don't talk to me. You don't like him and he don't like you. Why would y' all speak? Yeah, you right. Black people don't do that.

[B]

We don't.

[A]

Soon as you walk in a room, you supposed to announce yourself.

[B]

I still speak to a bitch I don't like if I walk in, if I'm the one to walk in a room.

[A]

Do you?

[B]

But I do. Hello.

[A]

You've seen me.

[B]

I've done it. You've seen me.

[A]

I have seen you do it.

[B]

Yeah, you seen me with a bitch I wanted to square up with.

[A]

Still spoke.

[B]

Cause I'm raised. Got brought up. See.

[A]

Well, I don't have no bright upsy. Because if I walk in a room with a bitch I hate and I have to remain in that room, I'mma just go take my seat and focus on myself and the Cinnamon girls. There's also a. I am absolutely not finna engage with a bitch I know I don't like and vice versa.

[B]

Engaged. Nah. I speak.

[A]

It is different, though, because he's coming into her home.

[B]

That's that. And you should. He should speak. He should. Technically, if you walk into the room, I don't know, don't come knock on my door and speak.

[A]

Right. If you're in the living room and he walks in through the front door.

[B]

It'S really not about this man. It's about the fact that. Are you in love with your bestie or not? Like, are you hating on this man or do you hate this man because of your. How you feel about your friend?

[A]

Right.

[B]

You gotta get to the rut of how you feel about your friend. Yeah.

[A]

I think that's first and foremost. You have to figure out how you really feel about this girl. But it also could be cultural, like Jade said. Maybe white people don't have those rules like we do. And they don't speak when they walk into rooms. Chris.

[B]

Models speak up.

[A]

Chris Marl, do white people speak when they walk into somebody else's home? Like, do you say hi to everybody in the home? Oh, Chris Marl says it's class. Working class. Working class people do. Rich people do not.

[B]

Okay, brought up. See? O.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

We're poor and humble in.

[A]

Okay, thank you. A white perspective.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

So that. But I feel like that's kind of, you know, six of one, half a dozen of the other. I would not go out of my way to speak to.

[B]

No.

[A]

That I know do not like me and that I do not like. I simply wouldn't either. And, you know, him hiding in her room the whole time, that's exactly where he should be. He shouldn't be out and about, dick swinging in your kitchen and shit. He should be in her room somewhere.

[B]

Like, don't be butt naked in my kitchen. Oh, never.

[A]

Never. But if I don't like you and you don't like me, but you know, I'm dating somebody who lives with you, I' ma just go straight to their room, too. I'm not going. I'm not. I would avoid you, too. Now, you could say you don't want that man there, but that's hard to enforce because, again, the rent and bills are being split evenly.

[B]

That man won't be there if you express yourself to your friend and she ends up expressing herself back. And then y', all, you know, could be Smash Burger. You know what I mean? Like, you don't know.

[A]

I.

[B]

What. How this will go.

[A]

I was gonna say, trying to control her in that way will probably just push her away, because most people don't want to be told, oh, well, you can't bring your man into the house where you pay, you know, for utilities and shit. Like most people not trying to hear that. I can bring whoever I want to in this bitch. Y' all don't have to like each other. Like you said, y' all don't have to be friends. But I would bring it up anyway, like Jade said, first of all, because this really could be, you know, like, y' all need to quit playing and just be with each other. But also, she might agree that it's best to keep the two of y' all separate. So maybe she won't Bring him around no more. They'll go to his house or, you know, they'll go meet up at Chili's or whatever. And so they'll just limit the time that he's there. Or she'll make sure that she brings him over when you're not home. Like maybe she agrees. She's like, yeah, you know what? Actually, I'm tired of running interference between the two of y'. All. It's getting very draining and kind of boring. So, yeah, I'd rather not be a part of whatever Yalls petty little back and forth shit is. But that's not really a long term solution. And if her relationship with him continues to grow, it's gonna be in yalls best interest to figure out a way to coexist before your roommate feels like she has to choose. You don't want somebody to feel like they have to choose between you and they man.

[B]

And if you don't express your feelings to this lady or if you don't first of all, get to the bottom of your own feelings. Yeah.

[A]

Figure out your feelings first. Yes.

[B]

Get to the bottom of your own feelings. And then. Then if you don't express and it goes all the way through to them, carrying this thing out.

[A]

Right.

[B]

You'll lose your friend in a different way.

[A]

Oh, yeah. You'll be at that wedding pissed, getting drunk. And then. Really?

[B]

And then you'll end up like Joan Clayton.

[A]

And then. Oh, God. And then you'll be Joan. Oh, worst.

[B]

One of the worst friends in television history.

[A]

None of them were that great a friend.

[B]

No, none of them were. Tony was worse. Let's be clear.

[A]

Tony was.

[B]

But Joan was also a horrible. I would never.

[A]

The way Tony did my son and fucking up his name all the time. I would have been smacked that bitch. Like, who.

[B]

Also hating on me while I'm engaged because you're not engaged and all of that. Like, go get a grip.

[A]

Very immature.

[B]

Go get a grip.

[A]

Very immature.

[B]

I say all that to say young adults.

[A]

Right.

[B]

You don't want to be at her wedding in a yellow dress, sitting in the pew, pissed the fuck off.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Because you never expressed yourself or really never assessed how you felt about this relationship.

[A]

Right? And maybe she doesn't feel the same way. Which means at the end of your lease, maybe y' all need to go your separate.

[B]

That'd be better for you.

[A]

Yeah, it would be better for you to not be constantly tortured by seeing the woman you love dating other people and pissing you you hate all of her boyfriends. Valid men are hard to like, but you hate them all, girl. Come on to me. That's that it might be a sign that deep down you wish she would quit playing and come kiss on your neck.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I don't know. Ask, ask. You have some. I think we've given you quite a few questions here that you need to ask your before you decide how to approach the situation. But this should be something y' all are old enough to where this should be something that everybody can be adults about it, communicate in a respectful way and hopefully come to a solution.

[B]

Dear diary, do I want to bump boochies with my bestie? I might cue the Moesha music.

[A]

I think I do actually want to bump purses with this bitch. How do I say it?

[B]

How do I bump birkins? What do we do? Bump, bump, Good luck, Keke Palmer's lip.

[A]

Balm or whatever the fuck.

[B]

If it works out and you and old girl get together, invite us to the wedding.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Or the civil ceremony, depending upon where this country is.

[A]

We might actually.

[B]

Gay marriage might not be legal, but you're right. Fuck you, Clarence Thomas.

[A]

All right. And Ruth Bader gets back too. You should have retired before you died, girl.

[B]

RPG playing with us Playing not the point of this show. All right, next on the list we have Octavia, Spencer and Heidi. And she writes. Hi, Krystal. I heard you talk about relationships with parents as an adult and I'm interested in hearing your perspective. I'm currently not talking to my mother. Through much of my life, she has been outright unkind and emotionally abusive. When there's a difference in opinion, her knee jerk response is to yell, hit, demean, and try to assert dominance and control of others. There have been many instances where I've had to tell her I won't speak to her unless she goes to therapy or we go to a family therapist. She's never agreed to family therapy, though at some point she did go to therapy on her own. I only know this because she felt it was appropriate to share how in therapy she uncovered that she would take her anger towards others out on me. There have been many other times where she shared how she wished I was different so that we could be closer.

[A]

Okay, sorry.

[B]

I could go on and on, but the breaking point was when my son went to visit her and she began playing out some of the same nonsense with him. There was a disagreement between the two of them which led to her giving him the cold shoulder and making rude, passive aggressive statements. When she would walk by him, I immediately said, he can come home and that he didn't have to put up with that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I contacted her and explained that there was an opportunity to effectively communicate with her grandson. She immediately shut me down and came from my parenting style by saying that I don't hold my child accountable and saying she would not go back and forth with me. This was over a month ago, and I've not talked to her since.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

Nor let my son go back over to her house.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

I talked to my son about his part of the situation, but I also explained that the way his grandmother was behaving was unacceptable and that if he's ever uncomfortable or feels unsafe, I will always come and get him. He was given autonomy on when he felt ready to speak to his grandmother, to share how he felt and to apologize for his role in the conflict. When he spoke to her over the phone, I could hear her. He apologized first, and then she begrudgingly apologized and said she was sorry for not hearing him out, which is literally what I spoke to her about.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Now she's up to her usual tactics, trying to get back in good with me. She's reaching out, asking if I need anything from the store or if I can help her with little errands. Each time I've said, no, thank you, or that I'm not available and someone else will need to help her. I know she will not take accountability nor acknowledge the elephant in the room. And I think I need to let her know that I will no longer engage with her if she can't be respectful to me and my child. Yes. I'm not sure if it's worth it or even safe to express the pain that comes with dealing with her behavior for years when I already know she will find a way to be the victim. Mm. How do you approach your parents about their behavior? What would you do if you were me in this situation? Thank you. And I'm so happy Crystal's couch is official now. Sincerely, my girl. I won't repeat that.

[A]

Thank you. First of all, I'm sorry that that happened to you. And for a lot of people, the breaking point is seeing their children be mistreated by their parents. That's where you're like, oh, you know what? One thing we not finna do is repeat that cycle. Like, you put me through that shit, and I couldn't get away from it, but there's no way in the world you about to put my baby through that. So that's very. I commend you for not only establishing boundaries, but really standing on it, because a lot of immature parents like, to do the whole, well, we kind of made up, so let's just. Oh, dun, dun, dun, oh, let me give you this. Let's do this. Blah, blah, blah. Like, no, bitch, you have not really made amends. You have not really apologized and been accountable for your shit. And I'm not going to play the game with you no more just so you can feel better. So for me, I approached my parents in very similar ways. They just had very different reactions. When I talked to my father about, you know, my grievances in childhood and the ways that. When I talked to my father about, like, the things that happened in my childhood that were deeply painful for me and the catalyst for me going to therapy, he got very angry and defensive and got up and drove away. And I have not seen that man since. But when I talked to my mother about these same things, she was very apologetic. You know, she said a lot of things that indicated she felt very remorseful. She has not changed any aspect of her behavior. But at this point, her behavior does not affect me because we live several thousand miles apart and I'm no longer living in her home. So even though we're not probably as close as. No, we're definitely not as close as people, probably most people are with their mothers. It's not this outright I don't talk to you type of situation like I have with my dad, because she could at least say, you know what? Yeah, I mean, I thought I was doing what was best for my kids, and it turns out I really wasn't. And that's the sort of thing you, as a parent have to live with forever. It's nothing I could say or do that'll be worse than you knowing that. So, you know, I'm definitely still on speaking terms with my mother. I see her when I go back home and things like that. But it's not a close buddy, buddy type of relationship because she hasn't been able to do anything other than apologize. She hasn't been able to change her behavior. So our relationship can only go so deep. So if I were you in this situation, I think I would honestly be doing a lot of the same things you're doing. I agree that, you know, going back to this, you know, kind of go along to get along type of method is only going to increase the resentment that you feel towards your mom. Um, you. So I think what? Octavia.

[B]

Octavia Spencer and Heidi.

[A]

So Octavia, didn't Octavia say that, you know, like, she already knows that her mom is not going to take any accountability or change. Okay, yeah. And you're probably right about that. But I would say give her the chance anyway, just so you can say with your whole chest that you genuinely tried with her and in response she acted like a five year old throwing a tantrum. Like, you might already know it, but just say it so that there's never a question of, well, did I really express everything? Blah, blah, blah. If something happens, am I going to feel like I didn't do everything I could to be as close with my parents? I. I have said everything on my heart, soul and spirit to those people. And the way they reacted is the way they reacted. I have no control over that. So lay out for her what your problem is and what you feel is unacceptable treatment or behavior, like you said you did already. Not just for you, but also for your son, maybe even more so for your son. And how you will respond if you or your child are treated that way in the future. Like this little distance we have between us now, we can make that permanent. If you want to play with me, you don't have to come at it with that sort of energy. Like, you don't have to be like, bitch, square up. But. But you can definitely make it clear that you're not gonna tolerate it and then stand on it. It's important to pick consequences that you can actually follow through with. Cause the moment you fold, she will know that you didn't really mean it and that she can keep doing, you know, whatever she wants. What do you think, Jade? Do you have any thoughts here?

[B]

No. I think you are pretty spot on. I think you give her the opportunity because oftentimes too older ones, sometimes grandkids shift their perspective. Yep. So even though she's already acted out, you know, you never know what the effects and the threat of that particular relationship might do to her.

[A]

Right.

[B]

You know what I'm saying? I got in a fight with my grandpa. Not physical, but, like, we definitely exchanged words. And my grandpa was a staunch alcoholic who was perceived as a very mean man, even though he wasn't. And in that moment, all of that came out. And that's not the grandpa that I knew. That was his years prior.

[A]

Right.

[B]

But when we got in a fight and I had to buck back at him, he had to stand down. Yes.

[A]

You know what I'm saying?

[B]

And he was really apologetic about his behavior. So you never know which direction it's gonna go. And you won't know unless you do that. And I fully understand being fiercely protective of our children. Absolutely fiercely protective. I also think There's a fine line of allowing your children to see a bit of what you dealt with, some of the challenge that you dealt with growing up. It gives them some perspective, especially when they're not being raised in that way. Doesn't mean you expose them to things that are fully inappropriate for them. But I do think that there is a little bit of character building and then being able to kind of understand those dynamics and humanize you.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

In your experience. So I pray for the best for your family. I hope you're able to find some common ground with your mother. But if not, I hope that you're able to find some resolve for yourself in setting those boundaries. And it sounds like you're doing a beautiful job with your child. And so I really, really wish you the best on that.

[A]

Sometimes you just gotta show people that fat meat is greasy.

[B]

That's it, honey.

[A]

Now, I thought you knew that girl. I thought you saw the marble on this steak and you said, I know.

[B]

What that is, but I'm about to tell you.

[A]

But sometimes you gotta show em. And like Jade's example with her grandf, sometimes they're like, oh, and maybe your mother, you know, she sees that your son, first of all, took his time and decided when he was gonna reach out to talk to you, he wasn't forced to apologize to his grandmother, and you've kept your distance. Maybe that's enough for her to be like, oh, the things I did 30 years ago when I was raising this one, they don't work no more. Like I'm gonna have to tighten up.

[B]

Maybe, maybe not.

[A]

But have the conversation anyway. Just so your conscience is clear. Best of luck to you, babe. Who's next?

[B]

All right, next on our list, Halle Berries and cream writes. Hello, Ms. Crissel. I could use some help navigating romantic rejection.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I developed feelings for a good friend and recently told them. They said the feeling was not mutual and didn't expand on why. So now I'm trying to navigate the friendship while squashing out my unrequited feelings.

[A]

Nightmare.

[B]

Any other time this has happened before has been with someone I didn't mind cutting off, but I'd like to keep this friendship so it's extra levels of heart.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

The standard advice is to take time and distance and try to meet other people, which I understand, but also not to compare myself to the people they do. Like not let it hit my self esteem and not take it personally. Yeah, but how the heck do I do that? Second part. How do I avoid the comparisons and not let it hit my self esteem, especially if I want to maintain the friendship, which would eventually require interacting with their love interest. Thank you, Halle Berries and cream.

[A]

So, you know, we just told Keke Palmer to tell Jennifer Aniston how she feels. And maybe it'll work out, but maybe it'll be like this. And Jennifer's like, I don't see it.

[B]

Ooh, I hope she didn't listen to this one before. She still do the thing. Do the thing.

[A]

Yes, still do it. I still think it's a good thing that you did it. Little lad who likes berries and cream.

[B]

You love it. I love it.

[A]

I don't. I really do not. You really love it.

[B]

Like, stop, stop. Don't tell these people to stop. Stop lying. And you lying over here now.

[A]

Okay, well, so I would say I was. You said, you know, miss me with all the. Don't let it affect your self esteem. Don't take it personally, but I mean, unfortunately, babes, yes, take time and distance, all that. You, you should try to meet other people.

[B]

Right?

[A]

But comparing yourself to the people that they do end up dating, what's the goal there?

[B]

That's the one.

[A]

What is the purpose of that? Do you think that you're gonna be able to identify some aspect of yourself that you can change or shift in some way so that then this person will want you? Just because somebody doesn't share your same feelings doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. If they didn't expand on that, then it's probably just one of those intangibles where I can like you a lot. I like hanging out with you. I might even think you're cute. But I don't see a relationship developing between us. I don't feel any romantic stirrings or urges towards you. And sometimes it's literally just that simple. Sometimes it's vibes and chemistry and things like that where it's not something you can adjust about yourself. I just don't see it. I just don't feel it. I think in order to avoid the comparisons and not letting it, you know, damage your self esteem, you have to be able to take a really honest look at yourself and say, you know what? I'm a great person. Actually, I'm cute and I'm smart and I'm kind and compassionate.

[B]

And if you couldn't see that, that's on you.

[A]

Yeah, like if, if you couldn't see it or if that just doesn't work with you for whatever reason that doesn't vibe with you, then that has to be okay. We are not all compatible with everybody else in the world. Think of how terrifying that would be.

[B]

Whores everywhere.

[A]

Right? And even if this. And we have enough of those. But even if this person starts dating someone who looks exactly like you. Which I can see how that would throw you off.

[B]

Can you imagine?

[A]

But you know, even if it's not physical, it could just be some other aspect of their personality. It's so hard. Hard to quantify human attraction sometimes. It's just. I feel this way for you and I don't for this other person. Like I've dated plenty of light skinned girls with locs. But would I ever date Jade? No.

[B]

I was wondering where this was going.

[A]

I just do not feel that way towards Jade. I just don't. There is nothing sexual between the two of us. Now. Is she gay? Debatable. But. Right. Debatable. I mean she does call herself Uncle.

[B]

Jade, but I didn't come up with that.

[A]

There's some Liga bigotigger in there somewhere.

[B]

Cutie pal.

[A]

What does that even mean?

[B]

That's the. That's what they trying to.

[A]

Cute. All right. So anyway. Any way. Because here you go being weird.

[B]

Sorry.

[A]

But there's. I think you're taking this rejection personally. But even if they had given you the reason, would that have really made you feel better?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I think. Just saying sorry. I don't feel that same way. I think that's as kind as a person can get.

[B]

I agree.

[A]

Yeah. I was just gonna say. Cause I know you've had to reject lots of men and women as well. I have.

[B]

And I. You know, if I said to you I think you are a beautiful person but you're a little bitch made. That would really not feel good. You know what I mean?

[A]

Bowser's Bowsers.

[B]

You know, it was better for me to just be like. I don't think we compatible like that. And I don't feel like that saved feelings.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

You know what I'm saying? So that might be better for you.

[A]

Okay. So I was thinking more of somebody who was just being honest. But. Yeah. No. Sometimes people don't give the reason because the reason is something out of your control and it would hurt your feelings to hear it. Yeah. So there could just be so many different things here. I think most importantly, you're gonna have to take that space. You can't just be all up in this person's face every other day. You know, or however often y' all hang out. You can't just keep going immediately. Like you don't have these Feelings. Give yourself some time to let these feelings lessen. I'm sure this other person will understand that. Have you had the conversation about, like, you know, I would still like to be friends with you? I know you didn't put that in the letter, but it sounds like the two of you are still open to being friends.

[B]

She says she wants to keep the friendship. We don't know about the other person, but she says she wants to keep the friendship.

[A]

I mean, if they. Yeah. So take your time and, you know, lick your wounds. This hurts. Rejection is painful. It just is. There's really no two ways about it. And if you go through life trying to avoid everything painful, you will also avoid love and intimacy and human feeling.

[B]

In general, because that's part of it.

[A]

It is. Unfortunately, we do have to. Not only do we have to go through painful stuff, we have to figure out something useful to do with that pain, or at the very least, something that does not hurt us further.

[B]

Exactly. Builds a little character. So to your question, how do you avoid comparisons and not letting it hit your self esteem? You might not be able to do that initially, but you take the time to be intentional about trying to come out of it.

[A]

Right.

[B]

You know what I'm saying? It might just sting at first. It just does. It stings at first.

[A]

It does.

[B]

But I think ultimately, if you start putting things in perspective and say, I'm just not this other person, and there's nothing wrong with that because this other person is not me, then that is the start.

[A]

Yes. And once you get a crush on somebody else, it will be much easier to hang out with this person and, you know, whoever else they might be dating or once you're just over the crush you have on them. But either way, you will move on from this. You just have to save yourself time.

[B]

A variety pack of crushes, you know what I'm saying?

[A]

Go have a bunch of crushes. Absolutely. Go out and, you know, kiss some people. Maybe, I don't know. Covid's on the rise. Yeah. People are gross. Maybe not that. But be more open to new connections in your life, and eventually your feelings for this person should fade. Best of luck to you, my dear. Enjoy your berries and cream. Berries and cream, Halle. Berries and cream. All right, all right.

[B]

Our next next listener letter.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Comes from. Hmm. Who does it want to come from today?

[A]

Oh, Lord.

[B]

I think this one is gonna come from SWV nasty. So SWV nasty writes Crystal. I'm a single mother to four children, age 19, 17, 6 and 4.

[A]

Damn.

[B]

I is tired, boss.

[A]

Yeah, you are.

[B]

I tired, boss.

[A]

Of course you are.

[B]

My children have the same deadbeat dad and are scarred from his abandonment and from my bad choices made in survival mode. We're in a much more stable environment now, but the trauma is still there. I've enrolled my oldest son in therapy, but it doesn't work because he doesn't want to do it. My second oldest flat out refuses therapy. I know I can't give them the tools they need to navigate their trauma, but I see the possible ways that trauma can hold them back. Yeah, how can I encourage them to open up to therapy? We are black Americans, but we've never held therapy in a bad light. They don't think they need therapy, but they desperately do. And I just want them to have skills to help them in adulthood.

[A]

I get where you're coming from. SWV Nasty. I'm so sorry that that's the name J gave you. I'm not. Oh, man. It's great that you're now in a position where you can say, ooh, I see how my choices and this man's choices have adversely affected our children. And it's understandable that you want them to get whatever help you can get them at this stage of their lives. But you cannot force therapy onto somebody if they're not ready to do the work. It simply will not work. Going to therapy is not some magic pill or cure. The therapist can't do something that you're not open to having been done. The therapist can't, you know, go in there and work their magic, which is not at all. Magic is science. But they can't go in there and do it if the person isn't open to receiving it and doing the work themselves like that. You heal yourself in therapy. Therapists don' heal you. They, you know, they kind of guide you, but it's up to you whether you decide to take that journey with them. And you can always stop or pause or get out the car, whatever you want to do at any point in time. So I would say instead of focusing on therapy, maybe focus on where your children seem to be lacking. Like, what is it exactly about the 19 and 17 year old where you're like, I feel like you're missing out on this or missing out on that in adulthood. Are there self help books that might be applicable? I really love some of the ones here on my bookshelf. It's not yout by Dr. Ramany. Well, this is just Parable of the Sword, which everybody should read. Oh, my favorite forensic and legal psychology that's just a textbook from a class that I really loved. I don't recommend that one, but this one, Recovering from Emotionally Immature Parents by Dr. King is the number one book that I recommend to anybody trying to heal from.

[B]

I gave it to my dad.

[A]

The things. Yeah. I gave it to my brother for Christmas because I was like, we have the same parents, so I know you need this. Cause I needed this.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

They may not even recognize how they're struggling because they're so young. And reading through this book can really help them see how you and your partner or ex partner's actions happen have affected these kids. And I would say even more than the kids reading it. I think you need to read it. SWV nasty. Because they may not be open to like, girl, I'm not reading no damn book. I do enough reading for school. You read that book and that may help you find different ways to approach your children, talk to your children about what it is they've been through. But I would also say don't neglect that 4 and 6 year old, get them into therapy now while they're still young enough to, you know, go to children's therapy, play therapy, which can be so much more fun, first of all. But it can be really useful for them so that they don't grow up having these same sort of issues that your older kids do have. You can sort of nip it in the bud now and they're less likely to be like, nah, I don't want to go. You know, kids that young, 6 and 4, they kind of do whatever you want them to do frequently, not always.

[B]

I'm actually curious. She didn't say it in the letter, but just presenting it to you.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I'm curious if maybe thinking about those ages and what ages that 17 and 19 year old were when that 4 and 6 year old were born. I'm wondering if maybe there was a little neglect on their emotions.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

While those younger ones, because that's really. These are ages where they need a lot of attention. Also there might be some resentment from. Exactly. There might be some resentment from what they had to witness and encounter from their parents previous relationship that the four and six year old are free from.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

So, you know, there's so many variables here that could be contributing to the dynamics and you might not be able to address all of them the same.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And you're also like you, you single.

[A]

Mother of four, like, Godspeed, you're tired, girl.

[B]

Godspeed, girl.

[A]

Such a good point that you bring up about these kids. Could be Having a lot of resentment towards, you know, like, well, why you couldn't get your shit together when I was six, why you couldn't get it together when I was four. I definitely felt that way most of y', all, if you listen to the read, you know, I have a much younger brother named Adam, and Adam had a completely different childhood than me and my other brother did because our dad was mostly not around for his childhood, so he didn't get terrorized the way that we did. So he. You know, I talk to him sometimes about things I experienced growing up, and he's just like, I mean, daddy just wasn't there, right? I literally don't even know that nigga like that. I'm like, nigga, do you know how fortunate you are that you don't know that man like that? Like, I wish. And that's a. It's a hard feeling to sit with. Cause it's like, of course I don't want my brother to have been through what I've been through, but, damn, I wish I didn't go through it either. Having that kind of understanding and empathy for your kids can go a long way. But, yeah, I think you're. Now that you're in a place where you know better, you're doing better, which is great. Don't give up on them. Just try different ways of approaching them. Don't neglect those little ones. Get them into some sort of therapy, too, just depending on how they're acting. But maybe if anybody goes to therapy, it's you.

[B]

If you're not already.

[A]

Yeah, if you're not already, maybe if anybody goes in the home, it's you, just so that you're more aware of your patterns, and you can break free of some of those things that you may be unconsciously doing that could continue to hurt your younger children now. But best of luck to you. This is a hard situation to be in. Parenting is often thankless and a grueling job. And it sounds like you're now in a place where you're doing your best, so keep going. All right, Jade, where's our last letter?

[B]

All right, Tyra. Banks are closed on holidays, right? Hi, Krystal. Recently, my ex of 6 years reached out to me because he said he missed having sex with me. I was shocked when I received the text from him, not just because of the message, but because every time I would see him in public, he would ignore me.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

I always thought he hated me. I responded saying, I'm good, and I left it at that. But he was Persistent and told me that he's been very impulsive recently because he was suicidal at the end of last year. With all the information he was throwing at me, I eventually gave in. It felt natural, like no time had passed. We clicked. Just like when we were in a relationship. I was pleasantly surprised every time I saw him. We would open up more and more about what's been going on in our lives since the separation. And it sounded like he had a lot of harder time than I did. He was couch surfing a lot, dealing with depression, and got fired from multiple jobs. Now he has a job in his own place, so things are looking better for him. The last time I saw him, it was different than the others. He told me that he recently is taking a break from dating because it hasn't been going well for him. That sparked red flags on my end.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I felt like I was only there to keep his bed warm until he's ready to get back out there. I expressed that to him and he insisted that wasn't the case. I have a hard time believing that because of the timeline of when he stopped talking to someone versus when I got back in the picture.

[A]

There we go.

[B]

It was also hard to hear him talk about all the dates he was planning with these girls and getting them flowers when I used to beg for flowers in our six year relationship. He only does that as a way to show the people he's talking to that he's interested. He much more values the time we were together. I told him our time together was more codependency than anything.

[A]

Amen.

[B]

And I would have much rather seen him more action like planning dates and getting flowers. Just because I'm conflicted on what to do. Should I keep seeing him or should I stop? I enjoy having him in my life again, but I'm nervous that I'm just a distraction. I don't know how to navigate through all of this just for him to leave me again.

[A]

Mm.

[B]

Thanks, Tyra. Banks are closed on holidays.

[A]

Well, I think you know that you're a distraction when he told you that he just recently decided to take a break from dating. Cause it hasn't been going well for him. Did he also say, I'mma take a break from diving up in yo pussy?

[B]

Doesn't sound like it. All right.

[A]

Because you know what is going well for him? You answering that you up text.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I definitely. I understand and I agree with your kind of assumptions here that he's just kind of, you know, you're keeping his bed warm until he can find something A little more solid or until you decide that you're gonna break down and let this man be your man again. That's what it sounds like to me. It sounds like you're enjoying it. Of course, there's nothing better than dependable genitals.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Sex that you know is gonna be good.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then it goes home to its own place and then it leaves.

[A]

It doesn't get better than that.

[B]

Yeah. It's my favorite part of my youth.

[A]

Right. Especially if, you know, this isn't somebody you wanna build a life with. Like, if you can only be good for dick, then at least be good for dick. But the problem with connecting with somebody in such an intimate way is that it naturally can open up the floodgates for deeper feelings. And you may have already. You may already be in a situation where you're finding yourself catching deeper feelings for this man, even though you don't really want to. And your rational mind is screaming at you to not let your heart go that far. So you also said that he insisted that you're not only there to keep his bed warm until he finds the next thing, but then what are you there for?

[B]

Yeah. What's the goal?

[A]

Because isn't he also only there to keep your bed warm until you find the next thing?

[B]

And if both of y' all are.

[A]

Cool with that, Right.

[B]

Then so be it. But it doesn't sound like you're like really fully cool with that.

[A]

Right. It sounds like you kind of feel like y' all should be working towards being in a relationship again. Especially because you now see that he's done somewhat of some growth and he's buying bitches flowers and, you know, planning dates and things like that. Things he didn't do in yalls entire 6 year relationship. Which really opens up the question of why did you stay with a man for six years who could not plan dates or buy flowers? But, you know, that's something you have to.

[B]

I'm also curious of the age because maybe, you know, if they're of a certain age and six years has gone by and now they're kind of in a different bracket in life of just like fully understanding what the other person is looking for from a relationship, maybe he wasn't there then.

[A]

Okay, yeah.

[B]

You know what I'm saying?

[A]

It's possible. But, you know, if you're 24 and y' all dated since you were 18, right. Then, you know, the six years is 25% of your life.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

It's very different advice for a 24 year old versus like a 54 year old. But it doesn't sound like was this. Tyra Banks are closed on holidays.

[B]

Tyra Banks are closed on holidays.

[A]

Right. So Tyra doesn't indicate an age here. I'm going to guess late 20s, early 30s.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, let's say that.

[A]

Yeah, I'm just guessing here, but I.

[B]

Think now if you niggas are 45, he wasn't doing this at 39. That's a different question.

[A]

I think regardless of age, though, your feelings are complicated and that means you should stop sleeping with him. It's only safe to have sex with exes when both of you are very clear on what's going on here. And both of you genuinely feel the same way.

[B]

Yes. Yes.

[A]

This whole. Well, no. You not just a distraction. You not just here to occupy me until I find somebody else. Why the hell not? You want to be back with this man?

[B]

Because, sister, listen. I was engaged to a man, and then we.

[A]

A few.

[B]

Yeah, well, this one particular one, I was engaged to him. He broke it off.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I was heartbroken for a period of time. Then I wasn't. Then I was having a good time. And then we revisited each other on a physical level.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Then we realized. Then we started doing stuff that fell back into the dating category.

[A]

Yep, yep.

[B]

That's a lot. And it was including when we went to the club. And then that was so awkward because it was like, we're not together and I'm about to go dance on this nigga. But I know you got a problem with that.

[A]

Right? Right.

[B]

So it really took a turn when I was riding with him one day and he tells his cousin, I'm riding around with my girl. And at that moment, I said, oh, no, you not. Actually, that's not who I am anymore.

[A]

This is kidding. Women look jokes like, where your girl at? Yeah, I did.

[B]

That's exactly what.

[A]

And it was in that moment where.

[B]

I said, I can't fuck with this n no more.

[A]

I'm a Twitter.

[B]

I can't fuck with this nigga no more.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I stopped fucking. And he want. And then come to find out he had deeper feelings. And that continued on. So it was good that I broke that physical correct reconnection off.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because it was getting ready to complicate things way more.

[A]

It sounds like it.

[B]

And it sounds like that over here too.

[A]

Yes, it does. I completely agree with what Jade just. I completely agree with what Jade said. I will add in that every single time that I have decided to circle the block, it has been A mistake.

[B]

Yeah, man.

[A]

And I mean, without fail, there still.

[B]

Ain'T no parking spaces. You're still gonna be by the hydrant and get a ticket and.

[A]

And sooner or later, I'm gonna remember why we broke up.

[B]

Remember more. And then I feel less for you. Like I feel for you, but I feel less for you, so you will disgust me faster.

[A]

Right? I think you're talking about you don't want to be vulnerable with him again. That sounds like your heart is just ready to receive this man who sounds like he is almost a certain heartbreak. It just sounds like heartbreak is right around the corner dealing with this person. So I would advise you to stop sleeping with him. I understand you enjoy having him in your life again. Again. Good, reliable Dick.

[B]

Go rub one out in the shower.

[A]

But then y' all start doing little stuff like instead of me ordering some food to the house, now we going out to eat. Or, you know, I see this little event that I think you might like or some little tchotchke, you know, you.

[B]

Like Star wars and you run into people that you know and they like what y' all doing. And then you don't know.

[A]

We're just. We were both walking along this sidewalk at 10:30pm together.

[B]

What do you mean?

[A]

We just ran into each other. Yeah. It can get awkward very quickly. And you'll be the one end up. There's. There are few things worse than crying over the same person twice.

[B]

Yuck.

[A]

It's. I mean, you know, it's a canon event. We have all been through it.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

We have all been through it. But I would advise you to cut your heartbreak short, if at all possible, and just go ahead and leave this man alone. Now, the dick might be good, but he not the only one with good dick in this world, sister.

[B]

I promise you he's gonna.

[A]

I promise you, whatever he doing in the bedroom, somebody else can do it and better. So, yeah, go ahead and end this now before this man end up shattering your little feelings.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Bless your heart. I'm gonna cut that out. Cause everybody thinks Bless yous Heart is patronizing, but I be meaning it for real.

[B]

It is, but it. But I get it. Bless you.

[A]

Cause it hurts. And it's so easy to get back caught up with somebody who isn't, you know, in a healthy place for you. But I'm wishing you the best of luck, Tyra. And just know that there are other fish in the sea. Millions and millions. There are billion of other fish in the sea.

[B]

Octopus.

[A]

Whatever you like.

[B]

Whatever you like. You know what I'M saying, whatever you like.

[A]

It's out there, baby. But give yourself the time to go find it. All right, that will wrap up this week's episode of Chrysalis Couch. Follow us on social media hristaliscouch. And if you have a question for me, send it to advicerislescouch.com thanks again for tuning in. I'll see you next week.