Crissle’s Couch

Session 3 – Listener Letters & Real Talk
Date: November 25, 2025
Host: Crissle (A)
Guest: Jade (B)

Main Theme / Purpose

This episode of Crissle’s Couch returns to the heart of the show: navigating real-life dilemmas through wise, often hilarious advice and no-nonsense conversation. Crissle and recurring favorite Jade settle in for an extended listener Q&A, dealing with complex (often messy) issues around friendship, cohabitation, generational trauma, romantic rejection, and the blurry lines of relationships. The duo mixes sharp cultural critique, their own lived experience, and genuinely caring guidance—leaving listeners feeling seen, challenged, and sometimes gently roasted.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Roommate Drama & Unrequited Feelings

(00:43–13:59)
Letter from “Keke Palmer’s Cocoa Butter Formula”

• Situation:
  A Black bisexual woman co-parenting a child, living with her long-time white bestie and roommate (also bi). Both have a platonic but extremely close bond. Current tension revolves around the roommate’s disrespectful boyfriend and possible unacknowledged romantic feelings between the two women.

• Advice Highlights:

  • Crissle urges radical honesty with oneself: Is this jealousy about the boyfriend, or is it deeper—i.e., hidden romantic feelings? Signs (“Have you ever disliked her girlfriends as much as you dislike her boyfriends?”).
  • If romantic feelings exist, it’s worth risking the conversation: “The other side of that is potentially missing out on the love of your life.” (05:04 – Crissle)
  • On the boyfriend: Both hosts agree he’s rude (e.g. refuses to say “hi” in someone else’s house)—but also question whether Keke herself is unpleasant when drinking, suggesting everyone reflect on their own behavior before escalating drama.
  • Cultural nuance: The “greet everyone when you enter a home” debate—framed as a Black cultural expectation vs. (sometimes) white people’s different manners.
  • Living together means both have rights—no easy way to bar a boyfriend outright; a candid conversation is better than edicts.
  • If feelings are reciprocal, “Y’all need to quit playing and just be with each other.” (10:13 – Crissle)
  • If not, consider reassessing the living situation at lease’s end to spare ongoing heartbreak.

• Notable Quotes:

  • “Do you kind of turn into a crazy bitch when you drink?...I have been that girl, so I’m legit not judging.” (05:14 – Crissle)
  • “We don’t speak to each other, bitch. I thought that was well-established.” (07:14 – Crissle)
  • “You don’t want to be at her wedding in a yellow dress, sitting in the pew, pissed the fuck off because you never expressed yourself…” (12:24 – Jade)
  • “Dear diary, do I want to bump boochies with my bestie?” (13:24 – Jade, humorously distilling the issue)

2. Boundaries with Emotionally Abusive Parents

(14:08–24:02)
Letter from “Octavia, Spencer and Heidi”

• Situation:
  Adult daughter has gone no-contact with her mother due to repeated emotional abuse, now triggered by witnessing similar behavior towards her own son.

• Advice Highlights:

  • Crissle commends the writer for drawing the line: “I couldn’t get away from it, but there’s no way you about to put my baby through that.” (17:11)
  • Shares her own stories of confronting parents, noting outcomes differ by person (“My dad got very angry and defensive…My mom apologized—hasn’t changed, but apologized.”).
  • Encourages having one clear, final conversation so there are no lingering regrets—lay out boundaries and be specific about consequences.
  • Jade notes sometimes grandchildren shift perspectives, but also cautions: “You won’t know unless you do that.”
  • Both hosts affirm the importance of standing firm: if boundaries are not respected, reinforce them with real action.

• Notable Quotes:

  • “Sometimes you just gotta show people that fat meat is greasy.” (23:20 – Crissle)
  • “It’s important to pick consequences that you can actually follow through with. The moment you fold, she will know you didn’t mean it.” (21:14 – Crissle)

3. Handling Romantic Rejection in Friendships

(24:08–32:12)
Letter from “Halle Berries and Cream”

• Situation:
  Listener confessed feelings to a friend and was softly rejected. Wants to maintain friendship without sinking into low self-esteem or relentless self-comparisons.

• Advice Highlights:

  • The “standard advice” (time, space, distraction) is reiterated by Crissle, who also acknowledges: “Comparing yourself…what’s the goal there?” (26:09)
  • Emphasizes: “Just because somebody doesn’t share your same feelings doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you.”
  • Sometimes rejection is about intangible chemistry; change can’t be forced.
  • Suggests honest self-affirmation about one’s own value and qualities, and gives permission to take distance: “You can’t just be all up in this person’s face every other day.”
  • Both recommend being patient, reframing, and collecting some “variety pack of crushes” to help move on.

• Notable Quotes:

  • “There’s few things worse than crying over the same person twice.” (48:04 – Crissle, in a later letter—applies here too)
  • “If you couldn’t see that, that’s on you.” (27:12 – Jade)
  • “Once you get a crush on somebody else, it will be much easier…” (31:23 – Crissle)

4. Getting Older Teens to Engage in Therapy

(32:14–38:42)
Letter from “SWV Nasty”

• Situation:
  A single mom of four (ages 19, 17, 6, 4), struggling to get her older two into therapy after family trauma; the younger ones are less resistant.

• Advice Highlights:

  • Crissle affirms that therapy can’t be forced: “You cannot force therapy onto somebody if they’re not ready to do the work.”
  • Suggests alternate methods—books (e.g. Recovering from Emotionally Immature Parents, Dr. Gibson), ongoing honest dialogue, and, importantly, mom going to therapy herself as modeling.
  • Jade points to possible resentment issues among older siblings: “Maybe there was a little neglect on their emotions... while those younger ones needed the attention.”
  • Both agree different dynamics need different approaches; younger kids can still benefit from play therapy.

• Notable Quotes:

  • “You heal yourself in therapy. Therapists don’t heal you.” (34:02 – Crissle)
  • “Maybe if anybody goes to therapy, it’s you…just so you’re more aware of your patterns.” (38:44 – Crissle)
  • “Parenting is often thankless and a grueling job.” (38:44 – Crissle)

5. Exes, Sex, and Blurred Boundaries

(39:14–49:08)
Letter from “Tyra Banks are Closed on Holidays”

• Situation:
  Listener’s ex of six years (who once ignored her in public) suddenly reconnected for sex, citing personal struggles like depression and job loss. After rekindling things physically, she’s suspicious she’s just a “bed-warmer” until he starts dating again, and worries about repeating heartbreak.

• Advice Highlights:

  • Crissle: “I think you know that you’re a distraction when he told you he just recently decided to take a break from dating…” (41:19)
  • Both acknowledge the comfort of “dependable genitals,” but stress the dangers of emotional entanglement with exes.
  • Jade outlines the slippery slope from “just sex” to emotional confusion—shares her own story of physical reconnection with an ex leading to boundary-crossing.
  • Crissle’s rule: Circling the block with an ex usually ends with remembering “why we broke up.”
  • Strong advice to cut off the physical relationship before getting hurt a second time.

• Notable Quotes:

  • “There are a few things worse than crying over the same person twice.” (48:04 – Crissle)
  • “He’s not the only one with good dick in this world, sister. I promise you, whatever he’s doing in the bedroom, somebody else can do it – and better.” (48:21 – Crissle)

Notable Quotes & Moments with Timestamps

• On self-reflection in friendship:
  “Ask yourself: Do you daydream about her? Do you have sexual dreams or fantasies? Have you ever immediately disliked any of her girlfriends?” (03:59 – Crissle)

• On boundary setting as an adult child:
  “Lay out for her what your problem is and what you feel is unacceptable treatment...like you said you did already. Not just for you, but also for your son...” (20:56 – Crissle)

• On sibling/child resentment:
  “There might be some resentment from what they had to witness and encounter…that the 4 and 6 year old are free from.” (36:49 – Jade)

• On circling back to exes:
  “Every single time I decided to circle the block, it has been a mistake. And sooner or later, I’m gonna remember why we broke up.” (46:35 – Crissle)

• On dealing with rejection:
  “If you couldn’t see that, that’s on you.” (27:14 – Jade)

Key Timestamps for Segments

• 00:43 – Jade joins for listener emails
• 03:39 – Deep dive into Keke Palmer’s Cocoa Butter Formula’s letter (roommate/queer tension)
• 14:08 – Octavia’s question on mother/daughter emotional abuse
• 24:08 – Halle Berries and Cream’s letter: handling romantic rejection
• 32:14 – SWV Nasty’s letter: therapy-resistant teens
• 39:14 – Tyra Banks are Closed on Holidays: sex, exes, and boundaries
• 49:08 – Episode wrap-up and sign-off

Tone & Language

• Warm, direct, and frequently hilarious; doesn’t shy from blunt language or tough love (“Do you kind of turn into a crazy bitch when you drink?”).
• Culturally rooted conversations (esp. around Black/white home etiquette and family trauma).
• Uses affectionate teasing and vivid metaphors to keep advice relatable.
• Advocacy throughout for honest emotional self-work and dignity.

Summary Takeaway

This episode of Crissle’s Couch is a masterclass in blending humor, candor, and genuine care. Crissle and Jade expertly navigate their listeners’ vulnerable questions, delivering advice that is culturally specific, emotionally intelligent, and often laugh-out-loud funny. Every story is handled with a balance of empathy and realness—making this essential listening for anyone tumbling through the complicated mess of modern life, relationships, and family.