Session 10 featuring Sydnee Washington

Summary

---

Crissle’s Couch – Session 9 with Sydnee Washington

Podcast: Crissle’s Couch (CAKE MEDIA)
Date: January 13, 2026
Guests: Crissle (host), Sydnee Washington (guest)

---

Episode Overview

This episode of Crissle’s Couch is a candid, hilarious, and deeply honest conversation between host Crissle and comedian/writer Sydnee Washington. The pair cover Sydnee’s evolution from bottle waitress to stand-up star, the complexities of queer identity, surviving and mining family trauma for comedy, the challenges and power of vulnerability, and the changing landscape of standup in the social media era. The discussion is filled with sharp observations, raucous laughs, a little tough love, and moments of real talk about healing, self-discovery, and the costs and rewards of telling your truth publicly.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Sydnee's Comedic Persona & Openness

• Truth-Telling as a Brand:

  • Crissle introduces Sydnee as an “unapologetic truth-teller” in comedy, someone “who tells the truth with her whole chest” ([00:01–00:37]).
  • Sydnee reflects on “shame hangovers” after being radically honest:

    “Oh, no, there’s shame. It’s just, it’s afterwards. I should have the shame before I… say that” ([01:11]).

• Audience Reactions:

  • People express gratitude for her candor—“Thank you. That happened to me, but I just didn’t have the courage to say something” ([01:21]).

2. Journey to Comedy & Queer Identity

• Background & Family:

  • Sydnee shares about being raised in New York and Oakland, and growing up with senior citizens, leading to a unique perspective and plenty of stories ([05:03–06:15]).
  • Discusses not coming into her identity until leaving her family, reflecting a common queer and creative journey.

• Late Blooming, Labels and Acceptance:

  • The complexity of lesbian identity, having had relationships with men before identifying as a lesbian:

    “People really are like, you can’t say you’re a lesbian. I’m like, but I’m dating a woman and I want—that’s where my heart is” ([07:04]).

  • The performance of heterosexuality, societal pressures, and ultimate self-acceptance ([08:30–09:02]).

• Humor about Dating & Gender:

  • Crissle: “I’m not trying to go back to a life where somebody’s body wash and shampoo is the same product” ([07:53]).
  • Commentary on “3-in-1” hygiene, standards, and community in queer relationships.

3. From Bottle Girl to Comedy Clubs

• Club Life & Storytelling:

  • Sydnee describes her club and bottle waitress days as “when New York was New York,” recounting wild club stories and how embracing chaos led to comedic material ([09:07–10:57]).
  • The role of “white people be doing anything” in exposing her to stories and risks she’d never have encountered otherwise ([10:57]).

• Sobriety & Self-Reinvention:

  • Sydnee is 8 years sober, emphasizing the importance of the journey (not the past):

    “You don’t even allow people to have a journey… It’s like, ‘Oh, you a crackhead?’ No, I’m not. I was a crackhead, I’m not now” ([11:17]).

4. Comedy's Changing Landscape

• Clubs vs. Social Media (“McDonald’s of Comedy”):

  • Sydnee discusses how social platforms have undone the “hierarchy” of earning laughs in-person:

    “Now people are putting up their jokes that took them years to do—and they’re just putting it out there for free” ([14:48]).

  • The downside: why pay for stand-up when you’ve seen it all in Reels/YouTube? ([15:58]).

• Crowd Work & Live Feedback:

  • The irreplaceable feedback loop of live audiences (“urban rooms”, hard crowds in Detroit with a mostly Black audience, and the rawness of those exchanges) ([16:20–20:09]).

  • “And sometimes you need to hear that to really reevaluate, like, ‘Do I really want this?’… If people don’t laugh, I’m gonna go to my job and make $800 that night” ([13:52–14:25]).

• Navigating Difficult Gigs:

  • Memorable Detroit show with a heckling, homophobic Black family, demonstrating resilience and adaptability ([16:58–21:24]).

5. The Power (and Risk) of Vulnerability

• Mining Trauma for Comedy:

  • Sydnee speaks on her infamous “accidentally burned my house down at 11” story, and the complexities of making trauma funny:

    “And it’s hard. It’s rough to have a perspective about your mom that’s not positive… and so you can sometimes hear that” ([24:20-25:23]).

  • Crissle: “Some of your funniest jokes are like, ‘Oh, this is deep trauma. My God.’”

• Cultural Privacy vs. Public Catharsis:

  • Sydnee: “Being private, then you don’t realize… oh, the shit that happened to you—that’s strange. Or you should talk to somebody about that” ([26:36]).

• Stand Up as Therapy (or Not):

  • The limitations of using the stage as therapy and the need for real self-work ([23:57–24:20], [25:54–28:29]).

6. The Realities of Social Media Presence

• On Hating Instagram and TikTok:

  • Sydnee finds social output draining and antithetical to craft:

    “People are burnt out. Your favorite Instagram person or comedian…they’re tired” ([42:09]).

  • Dilemma of producing endless content vs. preserving material for live shows ([41:29–41:57]).

• Desire for Connection vs. Fear of Critique:

  • Sydnee admits to being sensitive, a people-pleaser, and struggling with detachment from social media criticism ([55:15–56:38]).

• Crissle’s Detachment Lesson:

  • “I can teach you to detach from the internet… I know what I said. I meant it when I said it, and I understood why I said it. So y’all can feel however you feel about it” ([55:53]).

7. Honesty About Mental Health

• Sobriety & Self-Awareness:

  • Sydnee shares being 8 years sober, taking medication for depression/anxiety, and her ADHD tendencies ([35:01–37:07], [45:32–45:49]).
  • Navigating social situations and finding new vices post-drinking; “what’s fun now?” ([35:36–35:54]).

• Comedian or Therapist?

  • Crissle talks about being careful not to conflate her advice podcast with real therapy ([66:49]), and both discuss the value and scarcity of good counseling.

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On Audience Transparency

“Oh, no, there’s shame. It’s just, it’s afterwards.”
— Sydnee Washington ([01:11])

On Bottling Up or Letting Out

“Literally would never let no niggas fly me out.”
— Crissle ([04:09])

On Reinvention & Growth

“I was a crackhead. I’m not now.”
— Sydnee ([11:17])

On Standup & Social Media

“The McDonald’s of comedy now with the reels.”
— Sydnee ([14:48])

“Why should I pay? You can just sit on your toilet and watch somebody do their whole set on YouTube for free.”
— Sydnee ([15:58])

On Storytelling’s Rawness and Risks

“That was a hate crime. Yeah, I was.”
— Sydnee on her Detroit tour story ([22:41])

“Everything is a bit. Anything can be a bit.”
— Sydnee ([22:25])

On Trauma as Content

“It’s hard. It’s rough to have a perspective about your mom that’s not positive… the trashin’ of your family… or even telling your family secrets like that.”
— Sydnee ([25:23])

On Comedy & Therapy

“Do you feel like you’re one of those comedians who uses standup as therapy? …some of your funniest jokes are like, ‘Oh, this is deep trauma.’”
— Crissle ([24:02])

On Social Media Criticism

“I can teach you to detach from the internet… I know what I said. I meant it when I said it.”
— Crissle ([55:53])

On People-Pleasing & Detachment

“I have this thing, it’s a disease, where I want to be liked…and I am battling that all the time.”
— Sydnee ([61:43])

---

Timestamps for Important Segments

• Meet Sydnee and her philosophy of honesty: [00:01–01:21]
• Coming out late, checking labels, community: [02:19–08:30]
• Bottle girl stories and club culture: [09:07–11:44]
• Sobriety and self-reinvention: [11:17–14:25]
• Comedy’s changing landscape (reels, clubs): [14:48–16:58]
• Heckler stories/Detroit show: [16:58–21:24]
• Vulnerable storytelling and family trauma: [24:20–28:29]
• Solo shows: balancing humor and sadness: [28:09–33:39]
• Social media fatigue and authenticity: [40:41–42:58]
• Mental health, ADHD & medication honesty: [35:01–37:07], [45:32–45:49]
• Internet drama & detachment: [55:03–56:38]
• On boundaries, vulnerability, and being strategic about what you share: [58:00–59:59]
• Therapy access and representation: [64:13–65:56]
• Closing, plugs, and wrap-up: [69:13–72:41]

---

Tone & Language

The episode is raw, quick-witted, deeply personal, and grounded in the specific lived realities of two queer Black women in comedy and media. Crissle blends tough love and genuine care; Sydnee is unfiltered but always self-aware, openly exploring wins and wounds alike. Both women balance vulnerability with barbed humor, switching between raucous laughter and honest, even heavy admissions on trauma, mental health, and self-worth.

---

Conclusion

This session of Crissle’s Couch is not just entertaining—it’s a deep dive into what it costs and means to be radically visible, especially for marginalized women in comedy. The conversation illuminates the power of storytelling, the importance of boundaries in vulnerability, and the ways both internet culture and live audiences are changing comedy. Sydnee’s blend of irreverent humor and undeniable heart makes her stories both memorable and impactful.

---

Plugs

• Sydnee Washington:

  • Instagram: @justsydbw
  • Podcast: Mess
  • Live Show: My Black Barbie Story (NYC-based)

• Crissle’s Couch:

  • Listener questions: advicerystlescouch.com
  • Socials and show links in episode description

---

Transcript

[Crystal]

Hi and welcome back to Chrysalis Couch, the show where I answer your letters for advice and talk to the most interesting people in the world. Today's guest is someone I truly love, a comedian, writer, and one of my favorite truth tellers who is as funny as she is honest. Now, you've seen her on HBO Comedy Central, Abbott Elementary, Paws with Sam J. And you've heard her on Mess with Marie Fostin. Sydney Washington is one of those people who tells the truth with her whole chest about dating, ident self worth and so much more. Please welcome Sydney Washington to the couch.

[Sydney Washington]

Wow. Wow, what an intro. Thank you. You are truth teller. When someone says truth teller, I get a lot of like you might be saying more than others would say, right? Yes. It doesn't feel like it is not a dig, but it does feel like, girl, that's cute. For you. You really are transparent. For you.

[Crystal]

Yeah, it does mean. Ooh. I would have taken that to the grave personally, but Sydney Washington, no shame.

[Sydney Washington]

I'm a tell it.

[Crystal]

Let it all out.

[Sydney Washington]

Oh, no, there's shame. It's just, it's afterwards. Afterwards. I should have the shame before I.

[Crystal]

Say that you have like the shame hangover where you're like, what did I do? No, I just told a room full of people about my vagina.

[Sydney Washington]

I spiral every time. And then I get the people coming up to me like, thank you. That happened to me. But like, I just didn't have the courage to say something like that. I don't think I am. But like, thank you. It was good to hear it out loud, you know. And then they go Homer Simpson back into the bushes. They're like, woo. Yeah.

[Crystal]

Just had to get that off my chest. Cause saying it publicly literally would never but shout out to you and your bravery.

[Sydney Washington]

Thank you. I try my best.

[Crystal]

This girl is so funny. If you have not had the chance to check her out, see any of her standup or anything, you are truly missing out. I found her a couple of years ago when I would just randomly pick comedy shows to go to. And it was some lineup somewhere with Alex. No, no, no.

[Sydney Washington]

English. Yeah, no, no, it was somebody else.

[Crystal]

No, it was. Yeah, it was a show. I had never heard of you. We had never met or anything, but you were in a lineup with a bunch of white people. You cracked me up. I said, she's too pretty to be gay. Who is this girl? Wow.

[Sydney Washington]

Crystal.

[Crystal]

Not to say. I know. No, it's problematic. You said that to myself.

[Sydney Washington]

Oh, my God. It be your own people.

[Crystal]

I was like, gay all her life gay. Or she just.

[Sydney Washington]

Oh, my God.

[Crystal]

And then I was like, oh, she just got gay. She just got here. Yeah, yeah.

[Sydney Washington]

Later on in life, gay. Yes, yes, that is the right title.

[Crystal]

After I saw you that night at whatever club that was in Chelsea or something, I immediately followed you and then came to find out we had all these friends in common and met you. And you're even better to know in real life. So thank you so much for being on the show.

[Sydney Washington]

That's what is most important. I think what it is, is, like, we always try to package things when we're doing stand up or like front facing, but we don't who that person is until you actually get to know them. We write these jokes down, we say these things for laughter and whatnot, but you have to know the person behind the jokes, and that's most important.

[Crystal]

And I assume we were just having this conversation. I assume everything you say on stage is the gospel truth.

[Sydney Washington]

Because I'm bad at lying. Some people are so good at elaborating. Or. No embellishing and stretching things until the very last drop. It's like me. It has to happen to me for me to actually say it, because it doesn't feel right saying it out loud.

[Crystal]

Yes. And the stories you tell, I'm like, there's no way. She can't be making it up because how would you remember all of these? Like, I think if I were making these things up, I would make myself look a little less.

[Sydney Washington]

Okay, okay, I see what you're doing here. You giving me a compliment. And then it's like a light drag. It's just a tap. It's real. You know what? It's not like you're my cousin, but you're a friend of my cousin. Just like, you know, girl, you're so funny. Cause, like, I would never. That could never be me.

[Crystal]

Literally would never let no niggas fly me out.

[Sydney Washington]

Oh, baby, you gotta do it. You gotta think that what's important right now more than ever is that people live. And I think we have too much access to everybody else's stories. So we want to look cooler than what we are. We want to play by the rules or just not seem as insane as we are. But we are where everybody has a little bit of crazy and a little bit of like, you're not stable. You don't come from the best home, so why are we pretending?

[Crystal]

And you are so open about that on stage.

[Sydney Washington]

I am. My family is rolling in their grave. The stuff that I say. But yes, yes, so for the people.

[Crystal]

Who are not as familiar with you as I am, tell us a little bit about where you're from and how all the trauma you went through made you the hilarious person you are today.

[Sydney Washington]

Okay, so I'm a New Yorker. I was born on New York City concrete. So that makes me a New Yorker, right?

[Crystal]

Most native, yes.

[Sydney Washington]

But I moved to Oakland, California, when I was 2 years old, and then I stayed there until I was 13, and then I came back to New York. So I'm best of both coasts, east and west. So when you first see me, I obviously look like I'm gonna give you the right directions, but then I'm not. So that's why I'm good. Like, I'm very warm, but then there's parts of me that you're like, oh, no, she's a New Yorker. She don't want to play that. So I lived with senior citizens. I didn't grow up with my mom, so I was very much so old school. I mean, we read in the Bible every day Werther's original sugar free Splenda and your corn flakes. Like, yeah, yeah.

[Crystal]

Oh, no.

[Sydney Washington]

It was a wild. It was a wild life for me. But I'm thankful because I have mad stories from that. And then I moved back to New York, and I think that's when I was like, I have to find myself because I've been somebody else for other people for so long. And so I didn't get to really know who I was until I got away from my family.

[Crystal]

Well, a common story, actually.

[Sydney Washington]

Yes. That's everybody, right?

[Crystal]

So many of us are like, I did not even step into myself until I got away from them. People out of their house, out of that city, and just started doing things on my own. So it wasn't really like, oh, you know, my uncle was so funny, and I grew up wanting to be like him. It was just more of like, you really stumbled into comedy. You've done all sorts of things, and your bottle girl stories are some of my favorites.

[Sydney Washington]

Yes.

[Crystal]

Y' all have to follow Sydney on Instagram because every six months, she'll be like, okay, fine, I'm gonna do it. And she collects these Barbie doll images and tells these stories from her days as a bottle girl. And they are. I just adore your creativity. And the. You are genuinely so stupid.

[Sydney Washington]

Are you hitting on me, girl? You know you, girl.

[Crystal]

Here we go. Here we go. Meanwhile, she just got off the phone.

[Sydney Washington]

Babe. I know, I know, babe.

[Crystal]

I'm in the studio. Oh, and I'm calling you back, babe.

[Sydney Washington]

Yes, Yes, I. Well. Cause I, you know, we should just get into it later. But I'm a lesbian. But I did do some non lesbian shit a couple years ago, and so I'm still recovering from that because people really are like, you can't say you're a lesbian. I'm like, but I'm dating a woman and I want. That's where my heart is, where my mind went at that time, I didn't have a mind. When I slipped back into men, you know, I was going through something very bad. And why would I want to go back to, you know, sheets with low thread counts and people who don't want to text me back, and they're giving me thumbs up when I'm saying, you know, really sincere things. Why would I do that? You know? So, yeah, I have a girlfriend and I'm happy, so it's great.

[Crystal]

Yeah. And, you know, I'm not trying to go back to a life where somebody's body wash and shampoo is the same product.

[Sydney Washington]

The three in one. The three in one. They're using the VO5 as body wash. Anyone? So who. Auntie, do you live with? Cause why are you using VO5?

[Crystal]

Yeah, well, I mean, so I think how you identify. I think it's perfectly fine to identify as a lesbian. Even if you've been with men before, if you feel like that's who you are now and that's what makes sense. Or maybe it's who you've always been and you were just so discombobulated from growing up with senior citizens that you were like, this is just what you're supposed to do.

[Sydney Washington]

Yeah, but also, we have to be honest. Like, heterosexuality is rammed down our throats everywhere. And so sometimes you don't know until you have that opportunity. But also, we're shunned when we make, you know, when we take risks or when we make mistakes and people are like, why would you do that? And they make you feel bad. So you're like, well, obviously, I'm not gonna step in that alleyway with all that coochie. Why would I do that? And then I did, and I was like, wow, it's not so scary.

[Crystal]

I actually love it here. I love it here. I actually love this alleyway.

[Sydney Washington]

Thank you. I live here now.

[Crystal]

Y. Yeah. I'm just gonna move right in, right in front of you.

[Sydney Washington]

I did. That is so lesbian to move in.

[Crystal]

But, yeah, it really is. Immediately at that third date.

[Sydney Washington]

Yeah.

[Crystal]

And I'm here to stay.

[Sydney Washington]

You were talking about my Barbie stories. Yeah, I used to be a bottle waitress when New York was New York. I don't know what it is now. I don't know what people are doing for clubbing. People are saying they don't dance no more. I don't know that life. I know about putting my Nokia square phone away.

[Crystal]

Obsessed.

[Sydney Washington]

And going to the dance floor, being on the banquettes, sweating, like, profusely. Pictures from seven days, seven nights. Everybody who knows about seven days, seven nights, you would take that picture, you thought you were eating, and then the bang is just like. Just stringy, like looking like spider legs.

[Crystal]

Yes.

[Sydney Washington]

And then you're in something from Arden B or BB Work. Arden B.

[Crystal]

You took it back.

[Sydney Washington]

Yo, Art. And B, when I stepped in that.

[Crystal]

Place, I. Baker's Hill.

[Sydney Washington]

And Steve Madden, when it was Steve Madden, when it wasn't trying to be somebody else. You know, when it was just like original flavor Steve Madden. So, yeah, I was in those days. I like, what was it? 10 June, guest house, stereo, Greenhouse, Marque. There was just so many. Club Ben Taj. Like, there was just so many clubs to go to back then. And it was so fun. And so I eventually was like, in the scene. I obviously hung out with a lot of white people because, I mean, you could have just. You could tell by the way I wore my eyeliner and the choices of clothes. But it was fine. It was fine. I'm glad that I did that because I will say this. White people be doing anything. They be doing anything. And am I for everything that they do? No, but they're just the freedom that they have to explore and do dumb, reckless shit. That it's like, you gonna die or go to jail, you know, like. And sometimes you need that for the story. So when I worked at both of these places, I worked at Riff Raffs and Rose Bar. I just. I mean, when I started drinking and doing drugs, I said, wow, my mind is open. It's so open. I'm not promoting drugs and alcohol.

[Crystal]

But it just.

[Sydney Washington]

Yeah, I'm sober now eight years. You know what I mean? That's the thing is, like, you don't even allow people to have a journey. They're like, oh, you a crackhead? No, I'm not. I was a crackhead. I'm not now.

[Crystal]

And that's an important distinction.

[Sydney Washington]

That was back then. This is the new body. You met the old.

[Crystal]

I used to do a lot of things.

[Sydney Washington]

So, yeah, I think that people are so scared to learn and do things and then switch it up and be somebody else. I mean, we're always reinventing ourselves, so.

[Crystal]

Right, yeah. So what was the transition like for you from being like a bottle waitress and then getting into comedy?

[Sydney Washington]

I had a lot of people who, you know, their lifestyle was like mine. So they drinking and partying and they're unserious. So when I said I was gonna do comedy, they were like, yeah, girl. Yeah, I see it. You are so funny. I was like, actually wasted every time you see me. So am I really funny or are you really fucked up? So I took a class.

[Crystal]

It can be both.

[Sydney Washington]

I took a class and the teacher, I was like, you do a comedy. And then everybody else in the room, I was like, y' all wanna do comedy? It was like lawyers and just like random people who had money. It's like, why do you wanna be funny? Like, why don't you just do something with your life? You have the access. And then there was me. And so it was like 12 of us and we had like a graduation show and I brought my meanest friends to the show and they all came and then they. Afterwards, they said, don't ever bring us to no shit like this, but you should still do comedy. You was funny. I see the potential. Keep it up. But yeah, we are never coming to anything.

[Crystal]

No, no, no. Was it the UCB intro show?

[Sydney Washington]

No, it was at the Pit.

[Crystal]

Okay.

[Sydney Washington]

Yeah.

[Crystal]

Cause I UC does something similar where you have to bring people to watch your little one on one class graduation. It's like, you understand this is a room full of people who are not gonna go on to do this professionally. There's only every now and then a diamond in the rough and everybody else is just doing their best.

[Sydney Washington]

And that's when there was like no reels and like putting your comedy on YouTube and stuff, it was just like people getting specials were Chris Rock, Dave Chappelle, Wanda Sykes, things of that sort. And that there was like some type of hierarchy. And I don't want to say this, but you were just like, yes, stand up is really hard. And now it's not. So I really had to stay focused if I really wanted to do it. And I did. I brought so many people to my shows. They spent tons of money at Gotham and they were like, oh, yeah, gotcha. Yeah. And they were like, oh, my God, that was so much money for. I don't know what you were saying on stage, sis, but Jim Gaffigan pulled up and it made it worth it. So. Yeah.

[Crystal]

Wow.

[Sydney Washington]

Yeah. No, no, my friends are very honest. And that's what you need. You need honest to be like, yeah, you gotta really wanna do this, because right now it's bad. I don't see this for you. You know what I mean? And sometimes you need to hear that to really reevaluate, like, do I really want this? You know, and at the time, I was like, listen, I'm getting fucked up every night and I'm making mad money. What they gonna do? They like, what am I gonna lose? I'm just gonna go to these shows, and if people don't laugh, I'm gonna go to my job and make $800 that night.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Sydney Washington]

So y' all can't press me. Y' all not gonna make me feel bad. Yeah, you know, I do.

[Crystal]

And you said something that caught my attention, that standup is hard or was hard, and now it's not. Do you mean, like, for you specifically, because you've been doing it so long, or do you think things have changed to where the perception is that standup isn't a hard business to crack into?

[Sydney Washington]

The McDonald's of comedy now with the reels. Wow. With the skits and the. Just. It's so accessible before you have to. To. To see a show live, to see somebody set, and you sit down, you. You. You two drink minimum, and you. You're watching comedy. And now people are putting up their jokes that they wrote that took them years to do, and they're just putting out there for free, hitting all, you know, everywhere. Which is great because now you get more views and followers or whatever. But there's a point where you hear all these jokes where you're like, yeah, I left, but why should I pay? You know? Oh, you know what I mean? Like, if you can just sit on your toilet and watch somebody do their whole set on YouTube for free, why are you going to go? You know what I mean? Why are you going to go to the club? A lot of people don't even want to go home, go out anymore. Nobody wants to go out. Everybody is, like, stuck on a phone. They want to lay, they want to chill. They don't want to, like, make an effort. And so it's just. It's very scary that people are just putting out all their, you know, important work for any and everybody to critique it for free.

[Crystal]

Right.

[Sydney Washington]

You know?

[Crystal]

Yes. And I. So I thought you were gonna say something more along the lines of, you know, being in the club will shape you as a comedian in ways that filming by yourself in your apartment will not. Like, you might get some feedback, but there's nothing like that in person. Being told to Your face. No, we do not have time for you or space for you on this stage.

[Sydney Washington]

It depends. It depends. Okay. Cause I would say, say, like, the urban rooms that, like, starting up, like, if it's a room full of black people, Caribbean people, older people, they are going to let you know, like, immediately if they like you or not. But, like, going to, you know, the mainstream clubs, they might, you know, they might give you more leeway, they might give you more grace. And so you need that to believe in yourself. But I think it's going to the hard rooms to really be like, yo, I got to get my shit in order because I do not want to get played in front of all these West Indians in Flatbush.

[Crystal]

I can't do it.

[Sydney Washington]

Nah, I can't do it.

[Crystal]

I cannot because they will not be merciful about it.

[Sydney Washington]

Like, white people not laughing. You like, all right, whatever. But like, somebody who looks like they could be your mom and your dad and your whole family, which has happened to me. I was in Detroit, and when I tell you this family pulled up, it was like 15 of them. 15 of them. And one of the family members, like, saw me and was like, oh, I gotta see her. The rest of the family had no idea who I was. They were homophobic. They didn't know I was gay. So when I get into the gate, it was like, oh, no. Like, they were loud. Loud. And this was not a well attended show in Detroit. Okay, who was next door? Jill Scott. And then who was, like, a couple doors down? Mike Epps. So literally all the black people in Detroit are at both of these places and not here. And then the only black people who couldn't get into either of those shows came to mind. Do you understand? They had no time, but it was pouring, rainy outside, so they weren't leaving. So they stayed for the whole fucking show. Heckled me. And they were like. They were like, you ain't had the right dick yet. Oh, you need God, you need Jesus. And then they started laughing at the stuff that they weren't supposed to laugh at, Right? And I said, nightmare scenarios. I said, man, oh, my God, thank y' all for coming. I guess I need these tickets bad. It's only about 20 people in here. No.

[Crystal]

And 15 of them are these people who are, like, gay.

[Sydney Washington]

Yeah. Oh, no, the men.

[Crystal]

It's too pretty to be gay.

[Sydney Washington]

The men were not having. They're like, man, you ain't gay. Like, in my set.

[Crystal]

In your right loud.

[Sydney Washington]

Yeah, no, they were. And there was one point where I was like, so if I'm not gay. What you gon do? What are you going to do? You are not my type. So what is it to you? That's my only thing. Like when people talk about other people's sexuality.

[Crystal]

And now what?

[Sydney Washington]

That person doesn't want you. And even if you did want that person, they don't want you. So what? Or some people talking about other people's business is like, you don't even want to be their friend. You don't even. So why do you care? I'm not mentioning people. I'm not talking about people's lives that I'm not connected to. I don't give a fuck about them.

[Crystal]

You know?

[Sydney Washington]

So this. This family, I was scared. Cause I thought they were gonna rush. I thought they were gonna rush the stage to beat the gay out of me. They did not. Oh, my God. They did not. But this club didn't have no security. No. The manager was a comedian, so he was like, yeah, this is how it go. You know what I'm saying? You just gotta talk it out, find the funny. It was literally crazy. Cause I was like, I have. And they did it so early. I was like 12 minutes in, and I had a whole hour to go. So I'm pulling out my note, but I was like, let me see what's not game then. And then I'm trying to do all these jokes, and they would laugh, and then they were like, not laughing again. And it was just like, yeah, girl. They like, girl, you confused. You don't know what you. You need another family. Where your mama at? Like, they were just. It was so. I think I have the tape. I think I have the tape. My phone. I should have deleted it, but sometimes I listen to these things to, like, make me keep going, you know?

[Crystal]

You should have hit him with the. You know, I only like men when I'm broke.

[Sydney Washington]

Mm. You know, at that time, I wasn't. I hadn't gone through that yet. Oh, okay. I wasn't gone through that.

[Crystal]

So you didn't know that yet.

[Sydney Washington]

So I didn't know that. I couldn't pull that card out. Okay? But I was just like, sir, you're with your wife. What do you care if I'm gay or not? Even if I'm not, she's like, Cause I don't like gay. And I was like, oh, okay. I said, do you guys want to leave? They were like, no. I said, well, I don't want to get beat by a family. You know what I mean? I'll take one hit, but get Jumped by generations because it was like, cousins, mothers. I think somebody's grandma was. It was. It was wild. I couldn't believe I was thankful for them buying the tickets because they probably would have canceled the show if they didn't show up. But. Yeah, yeah, that's the stuff that happens in comedy. But these people who are just putting clips up and they're getting followers, they don't know about this because the people who come to their shows are their fans now.

[Crystal]

Right?

[Sydney Washington]

Yeah. A lot of times I'm going to places that some people know me, and then there's just people that are like, okay, I see this cute picture of her. I'm gonna see what it's about, you know, thank you. Thank you for supporting live comedy and small black business. But then they come in and they're like, hey, I can't relate to none of this. This is not for me, you know? And so I gotta keep going.

[Crystal]

Yeah, well, I don't like when people bring up. Well, I can't relate to it. So I don't like it because I laugh at things that are unrelatable all the time, like parenting. Comedy is so funny to me. And I don't know shit about that. Like, I don't. And that's not my portion, and I don't want it to be. But I don't have to identify with your struggles as a parent to think that the jokes you're telling about these nasty snot no kids you have, they're like, this is hilarious. Objectively funny.

[Sydney Washington]

Yeah. I think it's just about being open. But I also think, like, because we're so set in our ways now, if this person doesn't look like who you would normally hang out with, or if they don't come from the same background or if they seem weird, they're dressed weird, they look weird, they're saying weird. You're like, no. But me, I'm the type of person that, like, come on, let me hear what this person got to say. I got to hear them out. I have to. That's how I move about in, like, in the world. That's why I have all these stories, because I've given these weird interactions a chance, and then I'm like, ah, something to write about.

[Crystal]

Yes.

[Sydney Washington]

Everything is a bit. Anything can be a bit, you know.

[Crystal]

And that is one thing I really love about your set. Again, it feels like sometimes you're making jokes out of things we should not be laughing at. Like, kind of just now with the. It sounds like you were actually.

[Sydney Washington]

That was A hate crime.

[Crystal]

Yeah, you were.

[Sydney Washington]

That was a hate crime. Yeah, I was.

[Crystal]

But the way you said it was hilarious.

[Sydney Washington]

It was funny. I mean.

[Crystal]

And, you know, you have this gift. This is something you've nurtured within yourself.

[Sydney Washington]

It is. I think it's within the community. We always just. I think everybody who comes from, you know, a marginalized group knows how to change the bad and flip it and make it a good. And it's. You know, sometimes it's helpful. A lot of times it's harmful because it's like, hey, maybe you shouldn't unpack that on stage, babe. Maybe you shouldn't go live. Maybe you shouldn't make that TikTok. Maybe you should pick up the phone and call somebody, you know, maybe sit this out, Put the phone down for about two to three months and work it out, you know?

[Crystal]

Yeah. Callthelady.com.

[Sydney Washington]

Call that lady. Callthatlady.com.

[Crystal]

So do you. That's my website.

[Sydney Washington]

That's my website. Okay. Okay. I thought you just made that up. I bought the domain. Okay, great. I didn't know that.

[Crystal]

Just redirected to my website. Yeah, but do you. So do you feel like you're one of those comedians who uses standup as therapy? Because a lot of the things you work through on stage, it's like, Sydney, as someone with a master's degree in mental health counseling, when I first met.

[Sydney Washington]

You, I was like, girl, can you.

[Crystal]

You got a session for me? Yeah.

[Sydney Washington]

And they were like, no, no, babe, I can refer you to somebody, but I'm not touching that.

[Crystal]

No, but it's like some of your funniest jokes are like, oh, this is deep trauma. My God. Are you working that out privately while you're writing? And then once you're comfortable putting it out on stage. Cause you're saying a lot of things again, where people are like, so brave. Wow.

[Sydney Washington]

Yeah. Yeah, okay. Because you were mentioning stuff, but they don't know specifically. So I accidentally burned my house down when I was 11. And so I have a whole show about that. And it's like all these stories that lead up to the fire. Right, okay, see, now you're in. You're in. And you're like, wait a minute. It's like, she should be in jail, but I'm not. So I take all these stories that you're like, damn. Like, some of them is like, okay, she's a kid. We get it. But then there's other times I was like, yeah, you might have needed to talk to somebody before you said that. Real Bad. Real bad. On. You probably need to talk to somebody about, like, the stuff with my mother. I had, like, unresolved issues with her. And so you can sometimes hear that. And it's hard. It's rough to have a perspective about your mom that's not positive. It's just not like. Especially when I'm talking to people who are older and look like me. They do not get the trash in of your family or even telling your family secrets like that.

[Crystal]

Yes.

[Sydney Washington]

You know, my family originated in Little Rock, Arkansas. They don't play that. Okay. And they're not about, like, letting anyone. Everybody into your business at all. My uncle Sugar Doo, had a lock over his refrigerator. Cause he was like, y' all kids not gonna come up in here and drink up all that juice.

[Crystal]

Wow.

[Sydney Washington]

So I don't know if anybody else can relate to that. But I just come from a. I just come from a very strict home and family. So when you hear these stories, you're like, I can't believe you did have this shit.

[Crystal]

Right.

[Sydney Washington]

You know?

[Crystal]

Well, so my family was similarly strict, but it was just more like, if you drink that juice, we just gonna beat the hell out of you.

[Sydney Washington]

Oh, yeah.

[Crystal]

But we not gonna put a lock on the icebox. Like, we not going that far. We just gonna beat the hel if you break the rules.

[Sydney Washington]

The thing is, is that living with senior citizens, they don't have the core to beat your ass.

[Crystal]

They don't.

[Sydney Washington]

Yeah. They were that.

[Crystal]

They were too frail for that.

[Sydney Washington]

They were too frail for that. So I ain't saying Sugar was too low. So they might have thrown a shoe at me. They might have hit me a little bit, but it didn't hurt. It didn't hurt like I would. I'm like, oh, okay. Ow, ow. You know? But I wasn't really getting. I wasn't getting beat like that, you know?

[Crystal]

Right. And he said, I have to maintain the juice supply in this house. One way or another, that child is gonna drink it up.

[Sydney Washington]

Yeah. So it's just like, these are the things that I think are really funny. But, you know, some people are very private, and good for them. But I think being private, then you don't realize, oh, the shit that happened to you. That's strange. Or that's. You should talk to somebody about that. Like, I didn't think burning my house down was a big deal until I mentioned it on a podcast. And they were like, hey, babe, big crime. They start putting stuff away. They were like, well, let me get the lighters. You know, I'm like, it was an accident.

[Crystal]

That's called. Yeah, yeah. No, you didn't.

[Sydney Washington]

They're like, accident. You mean arson. That's what that is. You got the word wrong, babe. Yeah, you almost said it, but. Yeah, but kids get into anything, especially the kids. Now, I didn't have a phone. I had, like, you know, a fake pager. I had, like, these dolls that pretend to poop. That's what I grew up. Like, real toys, you know, so if I had issues, I had to work my things out with my toys. My Barb. I'm doing, like, novellas, dramas with my Barbies with the camper and everything. So, like, I couldn't figure out what I was going through until I accidentally lit that match. Yeah.

[Crystal]

And so I've seen the set. It's hilarious. I don't know if you sell it online for people or something.

[Sydney Washington]

No, no, I don't.

[Crystal]

She said that you have to see in person. No, no. Where we have a phone rule. And that won't end up on TikTok.

[Sydney Washington]

Yeah, yeah. No, people are. When I'm doing it, nobody is recording because they're like, damn. Yeah.

[Crystal]

And there's a lot of that.

[Sydney Washington]

Yeah.

[Crystal]

In your work.

[Sydney Washington]

And it's a solo show, so. Solo shows is taking you on the journey. Everything is not funny. So there's like, high moments, low moments. There's a moment where you're like, oh.

[Crystal]

Is that a tear?

[Sydney Washington]

You know, so it's like, all encompassing. So I'm still working on that. You know, girl, I love throwing something together. And then I'll be like, you know what? I'm gonna get back to that in, like, a year or two. You know, sometimes you gotta let them marinate.

[Crystal]

And you are. You're so good at this. You know, spending time telling us sort of the details, establishing the foundation of this story. Like you said, it's not always funny. And in fact, it's frequently quite traumatic.

[Sydney Washington]

Crystal, did you have me on here to be like, girl, I got some notes, babe. Cause I came home and I was like, should I call? Is she okay?

[Crystal]

And you know. Yeah. The first show I was like, is Sidney Washington okay?

[Sydney Washington]

That's my new solo show. Is Sydney Washington okay? I'm not. I'm not. I am. I am. You are. I'm sober and I've been working through a lot of things. I spent a lot of time thinking and talking to myself, like, hey, that is just your emotion. That is not. It's valid, but that doesn't mean this situation is real. I feel like I'm pretty rational for the most part, now that I'm sober. But yeah, I think that I am in a good place to tell stories because I'm like, who else gonna do it? Who else gonna do it? Right? You know, I love the people who are like, story time on TikTok. But again, that's the McDonald's personification of our art, our work, our stories that you're like, wait a minute. People should not just be like laying on they back in a Snuggie eating popcorn while you're unpacking some really crazy shit. My husband cheated on me and now I'm pregnant. And also I had three miscarriages. I'm like, yeah, that's a. I'm gonna have to swipe. Yeah, that's too much. But if you make it into a show and you write everything out and you tell me to buy a ticket and I sit, now I'm in it. And now I feel like, okay, this is an intimate transaction that I feel like I can respect.

[Crystal]

Right.

[Sydney Washington]

You know, I do.

[Crystal]

I do think also there is just nothing replacing the in person element of so many things, but especially regarding entertainment. And it's like, the Internet's great. And Covid definitely increased accessibility, which is a wonderful thing. Really do. I mean, it's such a powerful tool. But there is nothing like going to some nasty ass New York City comedy club.

[Sydney Washington]

Okay, girl.

[Crystal]

Or, you know, really nice ones too.

[Sydney Washington]

Yeah, we being there, we doing that. Don't be like, yeah, she in the dungeon. Tell her little joke. Okay, okay, I'm talking about, you know, I.

[Crystal]

Cause I have been. I've known Alex English since before he even moved to New York.

[Sydney Washington]

So funny.

[Crystal]

So I literally was there at the very beginning of Alex's career. And sometimes you start off at these holes in the wall, you know, you don't start off, and three months later you're on, you know, SNL or whatever.

[Sydney Washington]

And that's what it's about though. I think that's what also the thing about the Internet is like, to see the journey in real life is so different than any than this, like, Internet stuff. You know, obviously people are putting out things and they're doing it and you see it every day and you see the growth. But like, actually seeing you in real life, like actually do the work, putting in the time. It's just that connection that there's people who've seen me from the beginning, they not letting up. People that like, I might have met like twice or three times, they're just like, I'm gonna Follow you forever.

[Crystal]

Locked in.

[Sydney Washington]

I'm gonna DM you forever. Whenever you post something, I'm like, yep. I tell people, they're just like, damn, this support is amazing. So that's why. Another reason why I'm like, I have to keep going. Because whoever. These 50 people who've been with me from the beginning, they wanna see the end. They wanna see the finale.

[Crystal]

And they're proud of you.

[Sydney Washington]

They are.

[Crystal]

You have done incredible. I screamed when I saw you on Abbott Elementary. Like, literally screamed. Took a picture of the TV and everything.

[Sydney Washington]

Like you did on tv.

[Crystal]

Did all that. Yes.

[Sydney Washington]

Yeah. You know, it's so funny that sometimes I have to list the things that I've done, because when you're in it. And also, we are just so desensitized to, like, hitting our goals now that we're just like, oh, that's another thing. That's another thing. We gotta keep going. There's something bigger. There's some. But it was like, damn, this is a great show. Quinta is incredible. She runs, like, amazing set. I can't believe I'm here and then I'm sitting at home like, oh, you know, I just did a show and I gotta get back out there and go to those dungy, dirty ass, you know, comedy clubs in Bushwick, you know? But it was amazing. And there's so many things that I'm not saying that Internet people don't get to do, but to be in the community and also see these other people that I'm like, I remember when, you know, Alex had his small show and when, you know, when Zack fox wasn't even DJing yet. Like, there's so many people that I know that I saw from the beginning that I'm personally, like, damn, you really put in that time. And you've evolved and changed. And it's just like, you can't see that online. You gotta be in the room sometimes, right?

[Crystal]

But I also wonder if your craft doesn't evolve more efficiently when you're in these clubs. Cause what I was saying earlier is that you are so good with your extended solo shows to. To establish the foundation again of details that can sometimes be just a little sad, you know? Just a little.

[Sydney Washington]

Like, they are sad.

[Crystal]

Like, I just wanna hug you.

[Sydney Washington]

They are. Because I'm dark, too. Like, obviously, I look, like, really cute. And you're like, oh, my God. She's like, you look like a cutie patootie. But listen, I could be so morbid. I could be.

[Crystal]

You can.

[Sydney Washington]

Oh, I love a good documentary about, like, you know, a funeral home just doing something like, I love like it for me, that gets me up. You know, I watch documentaries all the time. And, you know, whenever I go to funerals, I'm like, I'm trying to find the funny in the funerals because we can't just be sitting here crying all day.

[Crystal]

And it's right there. Just wait till somebody get up to sing and the funny will come out.

[Sydney Washington]

It don't even be at the sing. It be at the fucking casket, y'. All. I mean, every single time I'm like, we have to stop the open casket. If I could just create a law that it doesn't work for anybody. I've never gone to an open casket and was like, so who did the make? I need them to do my shit now. Like, that person looks alive. I've never. I've never seen it. You won't and you won't. And you. Well, I did see one that I was like, but it was a man, so that's different.

[Crystal]

Okay.

[Sydney Washington]

They don't need much.

[Crystal]

Was it a young man? Cause I think young people also.

[Sydney Washington]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Crystal]

They tend to not look as.

[Sydney Washington]

As dead. You see what I do? This is what I could do. I could take you straight. She'll take you there. Dark. And it's crazy because I have so many uplifting, amazing things to chat about, but it's something about that hole gets me in there. I don't know. I'm sober now, so I'm like, I have to find a vice for me. I don't know if there's any sober people out there. When you're sober the first three years, you're like, fuck, I don't have nothing in common with any of these people. Like, all these people that I was like, yo, we're mad tight. This is my family. We gonna be together forever. You like, cut em bitch. You gotta cut a bitch off.

[Crystal]

All the bitches got to.

[Sydney Washington]

Yeah. And so now I'm like, what's fun? Like, do you drink? Yeah. Yeah. You drink? Like, you have a little drink, it makes things a little bit better. And now I'm just there like, ooh, this conversation is dry. You're not cool. Like, that's how I had to process the first three years. And now I just accept people for who they are. As a sober person, I love that.

[Crystal]

My drinking has improved so much that you had to ask whether I drink because, baby, I am a known alcoholic.

[Sydney Washington]

You know, Crystal, I am doing well. Saw some of the comments and I was like, you know she's having a good time. But, like, I'm also an enabler. But I mean.

[Crystal]

Okay.

[Sydney Washington]

I mean, but the thing is, is like. Like, yo, like, not. I'm not talking about you, but anybody. I'm like, life is so hard right now. We are consuming so much negative information. Yeah, bitch. Yeah. We gotta get fucked up. We gotta get. We have to have a couple shots at 5pm because how else is somebody going to just, like, sit in this darkness? We have a fucking fool running the country. We've had many fools, but this one top, top tier fool, you know? And so we're seeing so much as, like, if I could have just a nice glass of Sancerre, I would. And it would never be a glass. It would be a horrible bottle.

[Crystal]

If you could leave it in a glass. If I could, that would be different, right?

[Sydney Washington]

Yeah. That's not me.

[Crystal]

You. You're neurodivergent, right? You have adhd.

[Sydney Washington]

I do, yeah.

[Crystal]

I can tell.

[Sydney Washington]

Why? Really?

[Crystal]

Because you just like me, girl. You go on a tangent and it's like, that is not even what we was talking about. No, it's not. But I do love it. I know. I love it. I'm the same way.

[Sydney Washington]

I need. Like, how do I get it? How do I not do this? Well, how do I not be like this?

[Crystal]

Well, no, it's your job to come here and be yourself. So I do truly enjoy it. But I'm seeing a lot of myself in you because I am the exact same way. Cause I've been trying to say for 20 minutes.

[Sydney Washington]

Yes. That you.

[Crystal]

Okay, okay.

[Sydney Washington]

What you saying? What you saying? Say it to me. Say it to me. Say it to me. Make sure y' all cut that. Get to the point where you get. Yeah, no, it.

[Crystal]

Let's cut. Yeah, perfect. Because you tell the sad stuff or you lay the foundation, but. And it's. It's not an hour worth of laughs. But when it's time to laugh, Sydney is going to beat your ass with these punchlines and you are going to crack up. It's gonna be like the black people are laughing at they hardest sides are hurting. She's gonna hit you with the funny when it's time. And it's a beautiful balance that you do. That to me is one of the hallmarks of a real professional. And so that's why I ask, do you think that some of that is honed in the filthy little hole in the wall clubs versus being online where it's just not the same experience?

[Sydney Washington]

The clubs. The clubs honed. Actually, the Setup the punchline. I did a lot of storytelling shows as well, and that helps because when you do the moth or when you go to the duplex and do these stories, I mean, they don't care about their jokes. They're why am I listening? Like, what is the purpose of this? What do I feel? And so what I learned from the clubs is like, you gotta have these jokes. Cause these people, like, you only have 10 minutes, you only have 15 minutes. But the stories, they're like, you gotta lean and pull. And so I had to actually do a lot of my own shows. I did a lot of one offs and I think that's what helped me. Cause I had to trust in the story. Because when you're just doing stand up, if you don't get a laugh, you're like, fuck, shit, I lost them. I gotta come with another, you know what I mean? Like, the whole purpose is to make them laugh. And then when you do a solo show, it's like you got a through line and it's gotta make people like, you gotta do this, you gotta do this. If people are just doing like this, eh. Cause like, sometimes you've gone to a show, the person was funny, would you follow them? Do you want to know anything about them after that?

[Crystal]

No, no, that's rare actually. Like, when I saw you, I was like, let me find that girl online.

[Sydney Washington]

Who is that kooky cute bitch?

[Crystal]

I have to know when her next show is. And I probably saw you five or six times on stage. Never once introduced myself. What was never like, oh my God, like, no, girl, you could be a scout. You should do that.

[Sydney Washington]

Oh my God.

[Crystal]

Well, you're.

[Sydney Washington]

And your laugh is very well known, right?

[Crystal]

It is.

[Sydney Washington]

You can't hold it back.

[Crystal]

Right. Which is why when I'm at your show, I always.

[Sydney Washington]

You can be yourself.

[Crystal]

No, I get messages online and be like, oh, I know Crystal is somewhere at this because I hear it.

[Sydney Washington]

Yeah, but we need laughs like that.

[Crystal]

Well, I need comics who are funny like that. And you genuinely crack me up in a way that most do not. And so, yes, I was so curious about your opinion on, you know, getting feedback from the general masses through, you know, Reels and TikTok versus what it's like to become a comedian and get instant know you're trash or whatever, feedback in the clubs. But yeah, I think you've. You've done a pretty good job of illuminating.

[Sydney Washington]

I hate to say this, I hate Instagram.

[Crystal]

Okay.

[Sydney Washington]

I hate TikTok, which is crazy for myself.

[Crystal]

You're so good at social media, I'm.

[Sydney Washington]

I'm. I think I'm good at the chaos about it, but I'm not. The people who are putting up reels every single day. That can't be my life.

[Crystal]

Oh, yeah.

[Sydney Washington]

I gotta put up this shit every day. Oh, my God. To get all these random people who I like. I don't know if they're gonna. I don't know if they're just following because they saw that one thing. Do they want to keep seeing the same thing? I'm not that person. I'm all over the place. Like, you see in this conversation. And I don't want you to come here and be like, you're going to be doing this every single. I'm not doing that. No way. And then there's a time where you're like, you cute. Why you not showing your titties? I'm not doing that either. Like, I'm laying in the bed because I'm low key depressed sometimes. So it's like, in order to be in this game standup wise, you have to be putting up clips all the time.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Sydney Washington]

And I'm kind of anti that because it's like, again, if I want you to pay to come see me $25. Why would you. If I put up five reels of something that I probably going to talk about when you get there.

[Crystal]

Oh, yeah.

[Sydney Washington]

And so that's why people are doing crowd work. Like, I think people like shit on crowd work, but it's like the reason why they're doing crowd work is because we got to get y' all to come in and not know what the fuck we're going to talk about when we get on stage for an hour, you know?

[Crystal]

Right. Cause I would think if you're publishing reels every day, that means you're constantly writing new material. And that can't be true. Like, it's. Either the material's gonna go bad or you're gonna go bad. Like, that doesn't sound very sustainable.

[Sydney Washington]

People are burnt out. Yeah, people are burnt. Your favorite Instagram person or comedian or, like, celebrity, they're burnt out. They're tired. Because we are constantly having to keep y' all engaged and ready and wanting to follow us and then buy merch. It's like, it's insane. Like, I want to be successful. I don't want to be famous. Because that's a different type of piece you ain't never gonna see. Yeah. You know what I mean? And, like, we should be able to experience stuff without constantly having to be online and So I think that I want to do more, but I'm trying to figure out what I can do that's not putting up these clips of stand up, you know, because I. I, like I said, I am a stand up, but I'm more so a storyteller.

[Crystal]

You really are.

[Sydney Washington]

I'm really a storyteller. So that's why doing the clubs are kind of hard for me. Because I'm trying to put together pieces in this short set when really I'm like, I'm long form. You gotta go on this ride with me, baby. Cause it's about to be crazy.

[Crystal]

You do. You gotta go on the ride with Sydney. And I just. I love this because storytelling, first of all, a neurodivergent person's dream job really is to tell somebody about something that they're deeply interested in. Please. Cause I got six segues that I already know I'm gonna go off on. And I can tell that you write your material anyway because you could not just get on stage and stay on track.

[Sydney Washington]

Well, sometimes. Listen, you don't even know. Okay, so like last. Last night, I. Okay, so I don't drink, but I do. I drink Red Bull because I'm like, I need something to keep me up.

[Crystal]

She said it like she was admitting it.

[Sydney Washington]

Well, it's bad, guys. We have to stop the Red Bull in the Celsius because you're gonna have a heart attack.

[Crystal]

It's bad. Well, you can't drink multiples in like a day. That would be sick.

[Sydney Washington]

I'm an addict. So anyway, so I get a Red Bull, I crush it, Then I get on stage when I tell you it was everything in any way. It was everything anywhere, all at once. And the audience was like, what is happening? And I said, hey, I crushed your Red Bull. And they were like, okay, we got it. They love that I was honest. And that's what I'm gonna do. I'm always gonna be so self aware that if the energy is off cause I'm an empath, they're gonna be like, I have to talk about it, I have to say it. And so that's what made people be like, okay, let's give her. Let's give her a chance. So then I do a joke, they're laughing, but then I go off track and they're like, hmm. And then I do something else. They're like, okay. So now I didn't put them so many different ways. They like, all right, girl, you got it, you got it. Like, I saw their faces. They're like, you know, we like you.

[Crystal]

Yep.

[Sydney Washington]

We gotta see you another time.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Sydney Washington]

Because this set. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. And if you went to that show and you know what I'm talking about, just DM me and say, hey, if you wanna come to another thing, I will comp you so you can get a good experience.

[Crystal]

No, because the thing about you is that. Yes, sometimes you take us places and we're like, I didn't see that coming.

[Sydney Washington]

No.

[Crystal]

But you bring us back.

[Sydney Washington]

I do.

[Crystal]

And that is what makes it so entertaining for me. I just really enjoy watching you work.

[Sydney Washington]

Yeah.

[Crystal]

I think you are so. Just beyond talented. So thank you. Yes. And you're very welcome. You go, next time she's on stage.

[Sydney Washington]

She'S gonna be like, look, look, Crystal.

[Crystal]

I have ADHD and I'm self medicating with Red Bull.

[Sydney Washington]

So I am. Well, I. With me, I actually take medication for depression or whatever and anxiety. And I've been reading that I should not be taking caffeine because that is actually fucking up the medication that you're doing. I just learned that.

[Crystal]

Oh, okay.

[Sydney Washington]

So I just want anybody who's on antidepressants. You probably shouldn't be doing caffeine.

[Crystal]

Well, your doctor or pharmacist should have mentioned that as well. Are you telling your doctor, look, I'm smashing six Red Bulls in a day.

[Sydney Washington]

Why would you say that?

[Crystal]

So that the doctor can say.

[Sydney Washington]

Why would you tell them that?

[Crystal]

So that the doctor can say, girl, don't take these pills, okay?

[Sydney Washington]

Why would you tell them that? You can't tell them everything. You know what I mean?

[Crystal]

And then you wonder why the.

[Sydney Washington]

When they ask you, how many sexual partners have you had this month? You were like, no, you tell the truth.

[Crystal]

One, Sydney.

[Sydney Washington]

I mean, listen, hold on. I am with one. But I'm saying back then. No, I'm saying back then, they're like, they'll be like, how many? I'll be like one. And then like. So you're saying that's how you got chlamydia? No.

[Crystal]

Maybe.

[Sydney Washington]

I'm kidding. I'm kidding. You can get chlamydia from one.

[Crystal]

Don't be judgy.

[Sydney Washington]

You're right, you're right.

[Crystal]

But you never lie to your attorney or your doctor or the paramedics. I can't believe. And I feel like you of all people would know that.

[Sydney Washington]

Okay, so wait, let me tell you this story. Okay, so this is when I was deep in bottle girl world, right? So apparently, you know, girls were getting Roofied in the club, right? So I had an older lady like, hey, you gotta know what Roofie feels like so that you can be prepared if it happens to you. And I said, boom, class is in session.

[Crystal]

Let's go.

[Sydney Washington]

So she takes me, you know, to her house, and she gives. She gives me Roofie. Like, she's doing it in a safe space. Either this lady is gonna touch me or she put me on. She put me on. She did not do anything. I cannot tell you for real, but for what I know nothing happened. So then she was like, so now, right, if you do a little bit of. Because it's ghb, which is a muscle relaxant, here I am teaching each one. Teach one. She's like, if you take a little bit, you become tolerant to Roofie. So, boom, Now I'm roofie tolerant because I'm. I'm doing a little job, okay, Every. Every. Every week for months. So then I was like, hey, I have to be on Roofie patrol because I have to help the girls, because there's creeps out there, Roofie and girls. So I went. I would go to the club by myself because my friends were tired of me, and I. I just had to do it on my own. So I went to this one club, and I was like, okay, I'm off duty. I'm not going look for any, like, weirdos. So I get a beer, and I didn't drink all day. I get a beer, and I get a shot. I take the shot. I take a sip of the beer. I put the beer down. I'm dancing. Boom, boom, boom, boom. I go back, I put the drink down. I put the drink down. I'm dancing. I come back to the beer. I drink it again, put it down. Like, 20 minutes later. I'm feeling weird as fuck. I'm feeling like how I felt when I was at homegirl's house. I go to the bathroom. I'm in the bathroom in the basement. It's just like, you know when you see that white woman in the scary movie, just, like, running up to the bitch, run out the house. Like, that's my dumb shit. I went down in the basement where the creeps would be. And so I went in the bathroom. And that's when I black out. I go. I pull my pants down, black out. I'm done. But I can hear everything. I just can't move. So not only am I roofie, but they gave me, like, bootleg, like, not top shelf. They gave me the one that, like. Cause you're supposed to Be all the way out. I could still hear. So I'm like, oh, my God. I'm not prepared for anything that's about to happen to me. So then some men came in the bathroom, but thank God they were gay. They were gay men, but they did not know that I was roofied. They just thought I was fucked up. So then they were like, girl, what was you having? Long island iced teas. You a fucking mess. Da da da, da da. And they're like, ooh, you cute, too. Like, you know what I'm saying? When you get yourself together, I'll do your hair. Oh, that's what they were. I said, I don't know if this is. I should just get touched. Where is the rapist at? Because these gay men are really going at it right now about me being.

[Crystal]

Fucked up so that I cannot laugh at this story.

[Sydney Washington]

I know. Okay, it gets better. It gets better. Hold on, hold on, hold on. It gets better. Look at it. Look, he's in it. We're all losing everybody.

[Crystal]

Like, the people are locked in.

[Sydney Washington]

Okay, so then this is why you're so good. Thank you. So then my local drug dealer comes into the bathroom because everybody's like, what's going on? I'm a regular there. They know me. And so the bartender comes. It's like, no, she knows how. She knows how to. She's had 10 pickleback shots before and never looked like this, right? Something happens. Something puts. Somebody put something. So the drug dealer is there. The ambulance come. They roll me out of the club, and I don't have no friends. Nobody's there. The drug dealer's like, I'm gonna go in the ambulance with you. But he's like. He whispers to me. He's like, whatever you do, don't mention, I got drugs. Just I'm here. Just stay quiet. And I said, so then we get in the ambulance, and they're like, you know, they ask you all these questions. They're like, did you drink? Da da, da da da. And I'm like, no, no. They're like, did you do drugs? And I said, no, I did not. And they're like, did you do drugs? I said, I swear to you, I did not do drugs, but I could use a bump right now. And I'm looking. He said, oh, oh, yeah, no, yeah, no, I'mma get out. I'mma get out. I'mma go.

[Crystal]

The one thing.

[Sydney Washington]

Yeah, I'mma go. Like. He was like, yeah, no, I will. Yeah. He said, you can let me out here just in the middle of Nowhere. Just let me out. It was so bad. So, like, that is the one thing that is me. The thing that you're like, do not say that. I'm going to say, and I'm gonna take you on a ride. And there was moments where you're like, I can't laugh at this. But then look at that. Look at you. But you see, I just showed you the power in saying the crazy, but crafted crazy.

[Crystal]

Oh, my God.

[Sydney Washington]

And it actually happened to me. And the worst thing is that my friends had to come pick me up, and they didn't believe that I got roofied. They're like, you're a fucking drunk. That's what you are. Cause I was an alcoholic at the time, but I was like, I swear to God. And I was like, I swear to God. Only had one shot, I promise you. But then we go to the hospital, and, you know, I'm in the little triage area, and it's nothing but, like, alcoholics and homeless people. And they were like, seagirl, that's you. I was like, no, I swear to God. And they tested my blood and whatever type of, you know, roofie they used, it, like, went right out of my system.

[Crystal]

Oh, wow.

[Sydney Washington]

Yeah.

[Crystal]

So you weren't. You didn't even have anything show up on the toxic so that you're to show your bitch?

[Sydney Washington]

No, but I definitely did. I definitely got. That happened to me.

[Crystal]

No, I believe. And I believe you believe women. I absolutely. Girl, this is actually. That's actually not the craziest thing I've ever heard you say.

[Sydney Washington]

So.

[Crystal]

Okay, that's.

[Sydney Washington]

You know what? This was light for you.

[Crystal]

This was right.

[Sydney Washington]

There's more crazy. Well, I thought it was pretty crazy. Cause I listened to this woman to, like, take Roofie, like, willingly.

[Crystal]

You roofie trained?

[Sydney Washington]

Mm. Roofie trained. Yes. That's what it is.

[Crystal]

I could have never guessed that that was how that story was gonna end. And that is.

[Sydney Washington]

That's me.

[Crystal]

That is what you do. So have you always felt so comfortable, been like this publicly? Or did you used to maybe edit yourself on stage because of what other people might say or think? Especially people who already know you?

[Sydney Washington]

I started off like, you know, being in the club, drinking, being loose. So I never had. I didn't worry. I didn't worry. But now. Now I am scared. I hold back a lot more. You don't even know. Because I'm afraid of what people will say. Because obviously it is crazy. I shouldn't be this comfortable. I should have more shame.

[Crystal]

No, see, I would say the exact opposite no. And I'm being so serious. I'm taking notes.

[Sydney Washington]

Okay, okay, okay, okay.

[Crystal]

Oh, my Christ.

[Sydney Washington]

I'm taking Roofy questions after the show.

[Crystal]

He's got a daughter in college, so he's valid concerns. Right.

[Sydney Washington]

I'm here to help out if I can.

[Crystal]

Okay, well. And you are appreciated. But this is the thing with you. I was gonna say the exact opposite, though, that I think is so important that you say what you feel that you wanna say or you're ready to say, regardless of what other people will think about it. And no, you shouldn't feel like this is too much. I should have more shame. Absolutely not. I think that's what makes your comedy so powerful. The fact that you do talk about these things. And even if people come up to you after the show and they're a little shameful, like, wow, I would have never said that out loud. It's great that you say that out loud. Like, I. I feel like that's also something that I do. I talk about things that have happened to me that other people aren't willing to talk about, like complicated family dynamics. I'm real about what things are like with my parents. Right. And a lot of people will never have the courage to say that or feel that, even within themselves, much less tell the Internet, which is the whole damn world.

[Sydney Washington]

Well, that's the problem. I have no problem on stage. It's the Internet. The Internet is just. Y'.

[Crystal]

All. Oh, I can teach you to detach from the Internet. They. Girl, I can teach you to detach from the Internet.

[Sydney Washington]

I know. You know, but, like, that's not me. I'm sensitive. I'm an Aquarius. My feelings get hurt like that. I'm not. I am not strong like that. And so I know Virgo, but I.

[Crystal]

Think I'm also a sensitive person. I just have a healthy level of detachment from people I do not know.

[Sydney Washington]

Girl, you. The Internet is be doing something and you get on, like, anyway, girl, hear my dog. That would not be me. That would mean I love the Cardi thing. Yeah, I would love the Cardi thing. When I just put my phone in some water and I'm like, I don't need no rice. Just throw it away. I'm good.

[Crystal]

The Cardi thing is not even the worst that the Internet has ever dragged me.

[Sydney Washington]

Like, really, it's nothing. Damn.

[Crystal]

It is nothing for people to have that opinion of me. You know why? Because I know what I said. I meant it when I said it, and I understood why I said it. So y' all can Feel however you feel about it. I knew certainly some people were not gonna like it, but I could have never predicted it would turn into all of that, because it just.

[Sydney Washington]

Girl, it was crazy to me.

[Crystal]

It was not even that wild of an experience.

[Sydney Washington]

I didn't even text you because I was like, I know your phone is blowing up.

[Crystal]

People who know me know that I genuinely do not give a shit. I don't even think I saw 90% of what people said about me.

[Sydney Washington]

Teach me.

[Crystal]

I can teach you too.

[Sydney Washington]

Do a class. Cause I.

[Crystal]

When I see people talking about me on my for you page, I just scroll.

[Sydney Washington]

You just scroll.

[Crystal]

I'm not gonna sit here and listen to your opinion about me. Especially if I know that I'm feeling sensitive about myself.

[Sydney Washington]

I'm very sensitive.

[Crystal]

If I'm not in the middle of getting dragged, then, yeah, I'll watch your video. Cause you might actually have something constructive to say.

[Sydney Washington]

Girl, I look good. You see my makeup? I'm like, I love this. This is good. This is exactly how you should respond.

[Crystal]

And you know, the thing about that is I was just genuinely being like, oh, no, no, no. They think I'm a therapist. I have to clear this up. Like, no, I wasn't.

[Sydney Washington]

That was your number one thing. You were like, hey, hey, hey. What I said is what I said. But I'm not a therapist, okay? I just. I don't want to do the therapist like that, you know?

[Crystal]

Right. So then people are like, oh, you're making light of this. And I'm like, there's nothing to make light. Like, this is not a thing, y'.

[Sydney Washington]

All.

[Crystal]

It's a thing in your mind. It is not a thing in real life. And so.

[Sydney Washington]

And see, that's. But that's the problem with being, like a comedian, a stand up, a storyteller. Like, you know, I could talk about things that are happening in the world, or I could talk about myself. I talk about myself because you can't tell me what I went through. You know what I mean? This is my fucking story now. When I have a POV for everything that's going on in the world. I mean, I could be wrong, but this is. This is what's going on with me. So it's actually. It's so close to me. Like, if I write a joke about, you know, the President, y' all don't like it. Y' all don't like the joke. But if I write a joke and I tell you something that happened to me or how I see things, and you're like, boo, I'M like, you don't like me?

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Sydney Washington]

You don't like who I am as a person.

[Crystal]

Right.

[Sydney Washington]

Fuck you. You're stepping on, like, everything that I stand for. So it. I am. I'm very much so. Like, let me protect myself and not do too much, because I don't need all of that. You know what I mean? That's not for me.

[Crystal]

Right. So I think that's a very interesting point. And I do understand because, like, the things we talk about during, like, the pop culture segment on the read, it's whatever you like it or don't like it, I really couldn't give a shit. But if I'm being vulnerable about my family or like, my dad being an asshole or not really having a great relationship with my mother, something like that, I'm much more careful about when I talk about those things. Like, it took years, really, for me to even be honest about it. Because for so long, I was like, am I in a place where if I say this on this show and somebody who doesn't like me hears it and uses it against me, is that going to tear me apart?

[Sydney Washington]

And they gonna do that.

[Crystal]

And they gonna do that. And you have to know it when you say it, that somebody's going to try to hurt you with it. And is that too much for me to handle? And for a long time, the answer was yes. So I simply did not share it. I do not talk about things that other people can hurt me with.

[Sydney Washington]

Yeah. So I think that's the most important in terms of, like, we're trying to have a good time and do comedy or whatever, but sometimes comedy is so layered. Like, the stuff that's just really impactful. I mean, to unpack that in 90 seconds on a reel. I can't do that.

[Crystal]

Right, right.

[Sydney Washington]

You do. Yeah. I need some time. So when you get these people who clip stuff that you say on a podcast, that's actually long form. I think it's so dangerous. Cause everything is out of context. But you need stuff to go viral, so they use that stuff. And I'm so scared. I'm so scared. I'm like, girl, I don't need this drama. But I'm like, damn, we need these views, though. Come on.

[Crystal]

Well, so I would challenge you to ask yourself, what's the worst thing that could happen with this drama? Because not one bit of Internet drama has ever resulted in me losing money. I don't really. No, I'm not problematic in that way. And if anything, it increases the views, it increases the numbers on whatever you have going on, whether that's social media or podcasts or whatever else, it'll temporarily boost because now people are tuning in to see what you're talking about, hear whatever it is you said for themselves. But also, like, what is the worst thing that's gonna happen? Somebody's gonna say something that I don't like that hurts my feelings.

[Sydney Washington]

My feelings are very. Y' all don't know.

[Crystal]

I'm. I can take care of my feelings. I'm confident in my ability to take care of my feelings.

[Sydney Washington]

Oh, no. I see how you get down. And I'm like, damn, why wasn't I raised in a home? Like, like, my. My. Again, like, my family was very, like, humble, like, head down, just, like, humility through and through. God is everything. Like, not. I didn't have that wherewithal to be like, no, I am the shit. I'm amazing. I'm cool. I'm this. And I would just, like, downplay a lot of stuff. So I have this thing. It's a disease where I want to be liked, and I am battling that all the time because I'm like. Like, I want to be myself. I want to say, fuck this. Da, da, da. And then there's like, well, you know, when people like you, it just works out a little bit better, you know? But people who just say whatever and they don't give a. Like, that's. That's. That's what they have to take with them. They're like, hey, these people are going to hate you. And I hope. I hope you have money in your bank account, and I hope you have friends around who. Around you who love you. Because when they hate you, yeah, they hate you.

[Crystal]

Right? And I just want you to know, everything you just said. Eight years ago, I could have said the exact same thing verbatim. I was raised the same way and grew up feeling those same feelings. I was a massive people pleaser for most of my life. Other people liking me was the main thing I cared about. And so now I'm at a place where I don't just say anything. I'm very mindful about what I say.

[Sydney Washington]

But.

[Crystal]

And so that means that I don't just. I'm not just randomly saying something that I don't really believe in, Especially as emphatically as I did, like, with the Cardi thing.

[Sydney Washington]

Yes, girl, you was going, so when I said, wait, let me take the ears. Earplugs out, let me put it on a speaker. Cause maybe I'm not hearing it right, I said, damn right.

[Crystal]

But it's not random though, is what I'm saying. I know. It's exactly what I'm saying. And I mean what I'm saying. Especially with regard to, you know, children deserving better than mess.

[Sydney Washington]

Yeah.

[Crystal]

Why do you think so many adults are fucked up? Because they're being raised by people who haven't addressed their own fucked upness.

[Sydney Washington]

And that's when, when people ask me about having a kid, that's my. That they're like, you'll be a good mom. It's like I, I have a good heart and I want the best for my child. I don't have one, but this imaginary child. But I know that I'm also like this people pleasing anxiety, always thinking about the worst. You know, this false uplifting of like scenarios. No kid doesn't need to deal with that.

[Crystal]

Yeah, they don't need to deal with that.

[Sydney Washington]

They need to like, I know some friends that have kids now and I'm like, yo, you were made to be a parent. Oh my God. This is your whole thing. Like, you ain't got no job, you shouldn't work. I couldn't see you in the office, but you with your kid. Yes, this. You are doing anything and everything. And I have friends like that. I'm like, this is how it should be. You should be focusing. Cause it takes so much to take care a child, a human being. I'm 30 plus something else and I need a whole village to take care of me. And I don't have no kids.

[Crystal]

Right. Well, there's so much that can be done and that's what I was trying to say to you. Like I was literally all those things you. That was literally me. It was going to therapy that really started to shift that for me. Working through the stuff from my childhood, really confronting it. Which is why I'm like, is stand up your therapy? Is that how you're working, girl?

[Sydney Washington]

Not just be an intervention bitch? No, not you. Pulling me in here to be like, girl. So I'm here to tell you you need therapy. Not at all.

[Crystal]

Well, I mean, I'm not saying you don't.

[Sydney Washington]

No, I do. I definitely do. But I was never in denial. I just want you to know I've never. But as somebody who has adhd, right, and who's avoidant finding a therapist, they don't make it easy, right? They. You gotta go hoops through and loops to find somebody who actually gives a damn about their job, who's actually qualified, whatever certificate they got behind in that zoom. Bitch, that is not enough. It's not enough. I need to see real recommendations and then I need to see the people who've actually changed from your work. Because then I have these people who are like, I'm in therapy. I'm in therapy. I'm in therapy. Are you sure? Are you lying to your therapist? Because I. There's, there's a list of things that I can't check off since you've been in therapy for seven, 10 years. So, hey, they, whatever, whoever the publicist for therapy is, they not doing a great job. Well, I see people who are healed every day, okay? And obviously these people are not just doing therapy. They're working out, they're eating good, they're not drinking Red Bull, blah, blah, blah. You know, they're good to people. But for the masses who claim therapy, therapy, therapy, therapy, I'm like, you're all this therapage, but you're a bitch. You are mean. You're mean to people. You are not good. You got a bad heart.

[Crystal]

Well, lying to your therapist is like lying to your doctor.

[Sydney Washington]

Are you here to hurt or hurt or help me? I don't know what you're doing. Who are you on my shoulder? See, this is why you gotta. You flip flopping ass. That's what you are. One minute you went, girl, you know I love your.

[Crystal]

I love your party.

[Sydney Washington]

You're so talented. So you know you be lying to your people.

[Crystal]

Trying to stay on topic. Oh, my God.

[Sydney Washington]

I see. You got, you got. I've not asked you not one. You haven't, not one. No, I have not asked you not.

[Crystal]

One of these questions. We gotta do a part two.

[Sydney Washington]

Okay, okay, okay. Do it, do it.

[Crystal]

You gotta come back.

[Sydney Washington]

Okay.

[Crystal]

What I've been trying to say is that Sydney Washington is so good at this and bringing it back to you.

[Sydney Washington]

Ain'T gonna wrap me up like this now. No, because. Wait, you can't. Listen, couch. Where is the couch?

[Crystal]

The couch is metaphorical. I know. If it was a real couch, it would be too much like therapy. I had to make sure I drew a very clear distinction because so many people are like, oh, advice. She has this degree. This is a therapist type situation. No, I'm being very careful about that. Deliberate.

[Sydney Washington]

Fuck those people. I need a couch and I need to know if it's an intervention or not. Because let me tell you what my friends. Let me show you what my friends are. Before I used to rip and run and I would not sit down. I say yes to everything. And it was really wearing me out. I was about to have a Mental break. And so my best friends Amina, Marie, and Carolina, they were like, hey, we gonna have a dinner? So our friend Carolina made me shrimp scampi, which is my absolute favorite. Scampi. Had my juice, had the bread, everything. They sat me down, girl. I was like, ah, shrimp. So, Sydney, you have got to stop. I didn't even. I couldn't even bite into the fucking shrimp before these bitches was like, it's enough is enough. You saying yes. You ripping and running. You're not drinking enough water. You're not taking care of yourself. You gonna die. And I said, well, I'm not even hungry anymore. You ruined it. You ruined it. Don't set me up like this.

[Crystal]

Are they all. I know Marie and Aminah are comedians, but is the other one Carolina?

[Sydney Washington]

She got jokes.

[Crystal]

It was. It was a comedic dragon.

[Sydney Washington]

I hate it. I hate it. I haven't had shrimp, fettuccine or scampi yet. I was like, it ruined the taste.

[Crystal]

Well, speaking of. Watched you try to make that on Instagram Live one day.

[Sydney Washington]

I really am fun. You are.

[Crystal]

I am a good condom.

[Sydney Washington]

I find a way. But, you know, it's a mess. Like, when I see people on the Internet really, like, you know, locking in and showing who they are as a person, I'm inspired. I'm like, damn, I want that. And then, you know, I'll be on live for three hours trying to cook, you know, ribs, and it's a mess. So there's people who really got it going, and then it's me who's everywhere.

[Crystal]

I think you're doing great, though. I think you really have it figured out. I'm not joking. And when I was.

[Sydney Washington]

Crystal's couch is a setup. Make sure that's in the preview for the clip. It's up, set up, bitch. Where are the. What's the advice? Where are the people? Where are the people's questions?

[Crystal]

What are you talking about?

[Sydney Washington]

There's no people's questions.

[Crystal]

Were you told you would be answering people's questions?

[Sydney Washington]

Oh, you said you answering. You know, you giving advice. That's me. Oh, bitch. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[Crystal]

I thought that this was an interview. This is an interview. I would love to have you back, though, as the host. As a guest host. Not because the guest host is the one who reads the questions with me and does the feedback. So I would love to have you for that. I'm not joking. Like, this has been a ball. This has been an ideal way for me to spend my afternoon.

[Sydney Washington]

Did you call my friends like, this does not feel like. This is not a normal podcast I've been in. No. What do you mean? I knew when I saw that turtleneck bitch, I knew you was gonna be on some bullshit. Wow. Okay, thank you. You can wrap it up now.

[Crystal]

Meanwhile, all I was saying is a lot of comedians consider Stand up to be their vehicle for getting out hard feelings, which is exactly what they is. A vehicle for working through difficult emotions, past traumas, things like that, and hopefully coming to a healthier.

[Sydney Washington]

I'd be like, yo, you gotta stop using this stage as your therapy. No.

[Crystal]

Okay. No. Yeah. You are a people placer. I can tell. Because me saying that making you feel like I'm covered for you, Girl. I'm sweating. I'm gonna get you them referrals, girls. Yes.

[Sydney Washington]

Cause I'm like, not you feeling attacked. Hey, do I get, like five for free? Don't give me no referrals where they're like, hey, we don't do sliding scale. You know, you gotta pay $350 each session. I'm not doing that. I know how y' all do.

[Crystal]

Sydney, you did a great job.

[Sydney Washington]

Thank you.

[Crystal]

You absolutely killed this interview. This is going to be an incredible episode of the show. And I honestly don't think anybody could do a better job than what you came in here and did today. Thank you so much for being on Crystal's couch. Please tell the people where they can find you.

[Sydney Washington]

Hey, guys. So you can catch me in the streets. I'll be in the. In New York City, but I'm on. I'm on the Internet. You can catch me on Instagram. Just Sid. Bw J U S T S Y D bw. I have a podcast called Mess. Please, please, if you want silly, goofy, problematic, messy stuff so fun, go to that. We not. We not talking about people. We're talking about ourselves.

[Crystal]

And y' all do mess life.

[Sydney Washington]

Yeah, we do mess life. So please do that. Follow that. And then. Yeah, I have a. I have a live show called My Black Barbie Story, where I do my Barbies.

[Crystal]

Incredible.

[Sydney Washington]

And I do the stories. Come see that.

[Crystal]

You should if you are in New York or you'll be in New York. Absolutely. Find Sydney. And hurry up. When she announces the tickets, they sell out. They do. They sell out fast. And she be like, ugh, I hate promoting here. This is where I'll be for the next two weeks, bitch. Buy your tickets. So when you see that, hurry up and get your tickets. Cause she is even better than this on stage, if you can believe it. I know y' all had the time of your lives watching him.

[Sydney Washington]

That was a platonic kiss on your hand, you know? Cause I had to kiss her. Make sure the edit is right.

[Crystal]

Oh, my God.

[Sydney Washington]

Make sure the edit is right.

[Crystal]

You can find all of Sydney's links in the description of the show on your favorite social media platforms or wherever you're getting this podcast that is gonna wrap up this week's episode of Chrystal's Couch. Please follow us online at Crystal's Couch. And if you have a question for me, and maybe Sydney if she comes back to host again. Cause she was offended.

[Sydney Washington]

Where is the couch? Where is the couch? We need a couch.

[Crystal]

Email me advicerystlescouch.com I'll see you next week.