← Culture Apothecary with Alex Clark
Culture Apothecary with Alex Clark
How To Quit Drinking If You're NOT An Alcoholic | Amanda Kuda
00:35:31
Loading summary
Transcript75 lines
- [00:00]
A
We are doing more damage to ourselves physically by binge drinking only once or twice a month than we would be doing to our livers just having one drink a week.
- [00:09]
B
You are more powerful than you know. You have everything it takes within you to handle a crummy day, a beautiful day, any emotion, any social situation, you just haven't been flexing that muscle. We all have this fear that we're going to be socially excluded or judged when we stop drinking. And the reality is a lot of people want to do this. They're just waiting for someone to be brave and go first.
- [00:53]
A
What if you could totally ditch alcohol and level up your life without hitting rock bottom first? Today's guest, Amanda Kuta, is here to show us how getting sober be a game changer even if you're not struggling with addiction. As an alcohol free lifestyle expert and holistic life coach, Amanda helps women who are ready to stop drinking and start living their best, most ambitious lives. She's not here to preach, just to inspire. Her new book, Unbottled Potential, is all about breaking up with booze and unlocking your full potential. Get ready for a fun, real and inspiring chat about how choosing sobriety can lead to the most epic glow up of your life. Watch this episode on the real Alex Clark YouTube channel. Make sure you're actually subscribed there. Or of course you can always watch the episodes on Spotify. Culture Apothecary Please pause. Leave a five star review for free. This is a great way to support the show, help potential guests see that we are legit and you guys love it and also helps us rise up in the podcasting charts. Please welcome the author of Unbottled Potential, Amanda Kuda to Culture Apothecary. Was prohibition an absolute failure or did it just expose deeper problems?
- [02:01]
B
Alcohol is demonized in our culture and I don't think that it's. No, it's not good for you, but it's not bad, wrong or evil. However, now we've gotten to the point where we flip the script so hard that we just assume we need it or deserve it to survive in our world. And that's simply not true.
- [02:16]
A
That's interesting. We need it in order to kind of get by, survive. Whether that's social settings, stressful weeks at work, it's like kind of the go.
- [02:24]
B
To just have a drink. There's nothing in our lives that cannot be drowned out or celebrated without alcohol. And I think that we've just got it wrong.
- [02:33]
A
You were not an alcoholic when you decided to elect for sobriety. You were not somebody struggling with a drinking problem per se. When you decided to say, I'm done with this, I'm done with alcohol. So what was going on with you? Why would you decide to just give up alcohol if you weren't an alcoholic?
- [02:51]
B
I had started to get this curiosity, Alex, that maybe some way, somehow alcohol was affecting me in ways that I couldn't understand. But the problem was that I didn't have a problem. I took the test, I took the quiz. I was a normal, average social drinker, and I was ticking all the boxes of what it meant to be successful in life, except I didn't feel fulfilled. I felt overwhelmed, stressed out. I felt like my connections were kind of lackluster. And surface level, I didn't feel like I was going where I wanted to be going in my career, in my life. And I started adding all of these positive habits to my life. You name it, I tried it. And nothing was really, really getting me the results that I wanted. And so then I had to consider, if it's not addition that is going to make this equation stronger, what if it's subtraction?
- [03:36]
A
Whoa.
- [03:37]
B
And the one thing that I could look at that needed to be potentially eliminated was drinking alcohol. And even though I really didn't want that to be the answer because I was 27, 28 when I kind of started having these conversations, I knew that I had to give it a try. And wouldn't you know that once alcohol was out of the picture, my entire life just transformed. All for the better.
- [03:57]
A
I want to get into what you just said about you noticed that a lot of your relationships in your life were surface level. Do you think that is because your drinking friends, the friends that you go out with, party with, the ones that are fun to hit up bars with, aren't necessarily the ones that you're trying to have, like, deep heart to hearts with.
- [04:15]
B
I think there's a lot of things going on. I think that those could be your deep heart to heart friends. But by the nature of the relationship that you cultivate with alcohol, you are dulling yourself down. You're creating a life that's a little superficial, a little mundane, a little, you know, everyone's doing the same thing, everyone's acting the same. And I definitely have friends from my drinking days who I've cultivated a stronger relationship with. But we have to do things that are completely outside of alcohol. Because every time we were drinking, we were getting to the point where all we were doing was gossiping, talking small talk, doing surface level little catch ups, and really, we're wired for deeper conversations and communication, but as drinkers, we just really don't get there. And I find, yeah, a lot of those relationships did have to fall away because I wanted the deeper connections, and some people just didn't want to go there. They wanted to go out and drink and party and do the surface level, small talk and gossip. And unfortunately, I think that we're built for something deeper.
- [05:10]
A
I know the group of friends in my life that it's like, okay, if I want to go out and, like, have a fun night out, like, I know who I would call. But also, they're the ones that get very uncomfortable from, like, let's talk about our childhood trauma.
- [05:21]
B
Yes, absolutely. And, you know, maybe you could talk about that after a few drinks, but then you don't remember it. And that's not real connection, because real connection is vulnerability.
- [05:29]
A
Talk about the night that was, like, the last straw with you do when it came to alcohol.
- [05:33]
B
It was New Year's Eve. Eve. Okay, so not New Year's Eve. The night before that, I had gone out with some girlfriends, planning to just have a few. I had even driven my car. I knew that I was driving home. And then one thing led to another. Some new friends were in town. They really thought I was fun and wanted me to keep going out. And so we did. We went out and we went dancing, and I had some novelty cocktails. And before I knew it, I was in an Uber back home. And I woke up the next morning with the most tremendous hangover. I didn't have fun with those people because we weren't doing anything productive. We weren't talking. You can't talk over a DJ set and a crowd of a hundred people. We didn't really get any sort of connection. We were just in each other's presence, and that wasn't enough for me. So I woke up that morning with this incredibly tremendous hangover. Barely made it back to my car, barely made it out on New Year's Eve. And I just said, you know what? This is enough. I'm tired of this. It's the same thing over and over. We're not doing anything new. And if this is the only way to have fun, I'm over it, because this doesn't feel fun anymore. And on New Year's Day 2017, I decided, I'm gonna take a break from alcohol. And I put down whatever thing that I had, and I walked out of the bar that we were in, celebrating, and I just decided to give it a go.
- [06:50]
A
We all know Toothpaste is a must for healthy teeth. But did you know that many toothpaste brands are filled with fluoride, an ingredient that research shown can lower IQ in kids? Fluoride might not be the harmless ingredient we thought it was. Plus some toothpaste brands are full of artificial flavors and chemicals, even food dyes that we don't want in our mouths. Thankfully, Zebra has created a cleaner alternative, introducing Zebra Toothpaste Tablets. These little wonders are fluoride free, hydroxy appetite free and full of natural, safe ingredients. Instead of dipping your toothbrush into a messy jar, you just chew up a tablet and it creates a foamy, fresh experience. They're made with kale and clay, which helps detoxify and cleanse your mouth, and calcium carbonate which helps remineralize your teeth, plus peppermint, giving you a refreshing kick. These tablets are perfect for busy mornings, travel and yes, kids even love them. And don't forget about their brand new clear lip gloss. Zebra has a new hydrating lip gloss. It's non toxic and adds the perfect shine without the harmful chemicals. Finally, a lip gloss that does it all, which I am wearing right now. If you want to switch to something cleaner and easier for your family, head to yay zebra.com use code Alex for 10% off your order. That's yay zebra.com code Alex for 10% off today. Imagine this. You wake up in the middle of the night terrified. Your usual sleep paralysis demon is looming at the foot of your bed. But something's different. He doesn't want to terrorize you. No, he wants to get in bed with you. He's like, look, I've been haunting people for centuries, but I just tried these Cozy Earth Bamboo Visco sheets and I need to get under the covers. I mean, he's been scaring people, causing nightmares, but now he's like, forget that. I want to get my honk shoe on. Cozy Earth Bamboo sheets are so comfortable, even your worst nightmare wants a piece of it. They're made of premium 100 viscose bamboo. Soft, breathable, cooler than your ex's heart. And they even get softer with every wash. Even a sleep paralysis demon can't resist. I'm over here deciding if I want to be the big spoon or if my new demon friend gets to hold me. But that's what Cozy Earth sheets do. They make everything feel right. So go to cozyearth.com Alex use code ALEX for 40 off and turn your bed in the most comfortable place for both you and your creepy supernatural visitors. A better year starts with better sleep Wrap yourself in cozy earth go to cozyearth.com Alex code Alex for 40 off, by the way. Way for legal and spiritual purposes. This was totally satire. No demons around here. How long were you going without alcohol before you realized, like, I think I'm going to make this a permanent choice?
- [09:15]
B
That's a funny question, because I went the first week and a half. And then I remember a lot of my friends, this was January, so everyone was doing dry January. And a lot of my friends were doing it, but then they weren't. They couldn't make it through the first weekend, Gez.
- [09:26]
A
They couldn't make it through one weekend. No alcohol.
- [09:28]
B
You will see this happen all the time that, oh, well, it's a special occasion or, I just had a really crummy day. And so people were falling off the wagon right and left, and I kind of got rebellious, and I'm like, well, that's not going to be me. No, I'm going, 30 days. That's happening. But into that 30 days, I just started to have this realization that this can't be as easy as it seems. This can't be all that there is to it. And I got this sense that I needed to prolong this abstaining period in order for me to really, really experience the benefits. And so really, it was somewhere during that first 30 days that I thought, I have to give this a longer trial. I have to give this. This a stronger shot. And 30 turned into 60, which turned into 90. And it was sometime in there that I realized, I don't think I'm ever drinking again.
- [10:12]
A
You don't want to break the streak whenever you've made it that far, because it's like, such an accomplishment to be like, I've been without a drink for three months.
- [10:17]
B
Yes, exactly. And I just kind of dug in my heels and I thought, I feel so good. I wonder if I can feel better. This is a thing that I'm doing right now. And then I just kind of heard this internal voice, Alex, that said, you are meant to do something really big in this lifetime. And I can't see you doing it with alcohol in the picture. And that sense of intuitive knowing punched me in the gut. I'd never felt something more true. And I just kind of decided in that moment, we're going for this. We're going to see if that voice was right or wrong. And it was right. Because my life has been miracle after miracle ever since. Really?
- [10:52]
A
Like what?
- [10:52]
B
Like random things coming into my life that are just economic windfalls. That I never would have been felt predisposed to before.
- [11:00]
A
Yeah.
- [11:01]
B
You know, and as I got into my career and got into speaking about sobriety, a lot more opportunities falling into my lap that I didn't really pursue. I mean, this is an example. Your team reached out to me to ask me to be on your show. And wouldn't you know, I was already coming to Phoenix for the weekend. And just little serendipities like that, the world just started to lock together like a perfect puzzle where before it was kind of like. Like, disheveled, and you're trying to shove pieces together.
- [11:26]
A
I think what's interesting is that when you talk about this, I hear a lot of emotional reasons, not in a negative way, but a lot of relational, emotional, spiritual type of reasons for abstaining. But it doesn't sound to me like you were, like, doing it like, I'm a health nut, and you're, like, pouring over all of this evidence of, like, you know, what alcohol does to the body or things like that, which is totally, like, a valid reason some other people might give up alcohol, but you. You just purely were like, I just want to connect with those that I love in a deeper, better way, which I think is really beautiful and simple, and anyone should be able to relate to that. Were you starting to look up stuff online? Like, you know, what are the benefits of going without alcohol? Or what does the alcohol do to the body or anything? Like, were you interested in that? Were you just like, No, I just like how I feel like going through life sober.
- [12:10]
B
I really liked how I felt, and I started to notice the changes without having to look anything up. So, you know, I wasn't feeling tired and lethargic and foggy, and I was waking up before everyone else. So I was going to the gym, and then I was going to the gym five days a week, not because I was some fitness nut, but because I had all this energy and my body was recovering really fast. Whereas before, I was feeling sore and sluggish and my mind started feeling sharper. And so even before I really started researching it to kind of corroborate what I was experiencing, I just started having these benefits, and I couldn't unsee it because, you know, this was me in my early 30s, and I thought I was healthy and vibrant and my body was working perfectly, but I didn't know how imperfectly things were working until they really started flowing together and working very nicely.
- [12:57]
A
Well, what's crazy is that everybody seems to be giving up alcohol now. You have a mocktail menu at every single restaurant. And it makes me wonder, like, why do you think everybody is jumping on this mocktail bandwagon, giving up alcohol? Like, what is it going on right now in culture?
- [13:13]
B
We kind of had the perfect storm in 2020 where we were all starting to be really conscious of our health and we were all locked in our homes and we had our phone in front of us. We also had people giving us information that we hadn't been maybe looking up before, that it was kind of being delivered to us in different ways. And I think that also what I recognize is someone who's coaching and teaching in this space, that people went one of two ways. Either they realized, hey, my relationship with alcohol isn't great and I don't have any social reasons to drink right now, so I'm gonna stop and see what happens. Or people who are more maybe emotional drinkers to drink through stress were really feeling that stress and they doubled down and they got so far down the rabbit hole that they thought, oh, wait a second, this actually doesn't feel good. Maybe I should reconsider it. And so it was this perfect storm of everyone having an opportunity to look at their relationship with alcohol in a different way. And so then beverage companies started making non alcoholic spirits, non alcoholic beers, non alcoholic wines. And everything has just really blossomed over the last five years in this space. Which is really great because the reason that I do what I do is because 10 years ago, when I wanted to quit drinking, there wasn't an approach outside of aa, which absolutely is a valid approach, if that's what you need. But that wasn't for me. And I felt like I was in this little silent dungeon wanting to do something really scary and really brave. And now all of a sudden, it's a movement that's caught on. And I think it's really wonderful because it makes it more accessible for people to just quit if they want to.
- [14:38]
A
Well, you know what's not beautiful and wonderful is the fact that because mocktails are so popular now, they're just charging the same exact price as a regular cocktail with alcohol. Now explain that to me.
- [14:47]
B
Let me tell you what. So it actually makes more sense if you know what's put in it. So there are some mocktails. It's like a Shirley Temple. That's what Sprite and Grenadine, that should not be charged as a 18, right? Exactly. But there's a lot of non alcoholic spirits that are actually really, really carefully crafted and some of them have adaptogens and all of these other wonderful things. In them also because they're smaller batch, they take a lot of money to, to make these items. And so you're actually getting something that probably is better. Well, it's definitely better for you. Maybe even has some health benefits and you're going to pay the same amount. So it feels like you're kind of getting some sort of, you're in some sort of shenanigan. But it's actually really good because you're getting a great quality non alcoholic spirit.
- [15:29]
A
Yeah, you saying that actually I'm like, you know what, you're right. Now see, I'm disarmed. You should be like a spokeswoman for mocktail companies. Whenever people complain the restaurants. This is crazy. So when I was prepping for this interview, this timeline blew my mind. I thought this is bananas of what is happening to your body the longer you go. So I'm just gonna go through this if you don't care. It was so juicy to me.
- [15:48]
B
Craz.
- [15:49]
A
Okay, so within 24 hours, your body starts to detox. The liver begins processing the alcohol that's in your system and your blood sugar levels stabilize, which can help reduce feelings of anxiety or irritability. Your hydration levels also improve because alcohol dehydrates you. So without it, you're going to actually start to feel more energetic and refreshed. Okay, so that's only just within 24 hours. After 48 hours, your liver starts healing. Alcohol is known to put a strain on your liver, but within 48 hours of quitting alcohol, liver enzymes begin to normalize. It's also the point where you might experience fewer hangover symptoms such as nausea and headaches. After one week, you're going to start seeing your sleep improve. Alcohol messes with your REM sleep, so after a week without alcohol, you're going to notice deeper, more rest, restorative sleep. And people who quit drinking report feeling less fatigued and more refreshed upon waking up. After two weeks, skin starts looking freaking bomb. Alcohol dehydrates your skin, we know that. But once you're alcohol free, hydration and skin health really start to improve. You're going to notice fewer blemishes and a more glowing complexion. One month, your liver function is improving, your risk for liver diseases like fatty liver decreases, and you can actually start to now reverse liver damage that you've had previously. The average person could lose up to four to five pounds after just a month of cutting out alcohol. Because alcohol is packed with empty calories and often leads to overeating and poor food choices. When you're drunk. So I wanted to ask you, that's after only, you know, a small amount of time, just a month of cutting out alcohol, did you notice if you were losing any weight at all or you weren't paying attention?
- [17:23]
B
Yeah, I was. If I look back at pictures of myself, I was ripped and you know, I was again, I was going to the gym a lot. I was making healthier choices because I wasn't going through Taco Bell at 1:00am yeah. And I noticed that, yeah, my body was trim, slim, feeling good, and it's miraculous. It's just wild how great I felt and how much I didn't know that I was feeling bad before.
- [17:48]
A
If you've been battling problem skin, whether it's acne, dryness or irritation, listen up because Cowboy Colostrum might just be your new best friend. Here's the science. Colostrum is packed with natural growth factors and immunoglobulins which help reduce inflammation and promote cell regeneration. This means that Cowboy Colostrum can actually speed up the healing process for your skin, making it a game changer for problem areas or acne prone skin. So whether you're dealing with acne breakouts or just irritated, flaky skin, Colostrum works from the inside out to restore balance and soothe your skin's defenses. But doesn't stop there. Colostrum is loaded with lactoferri, an antimicrobial protein that helps fight off the harmful bacteria linked to acne, keeping your pores clear. Plus it's got powerful immunoglobulins that boost your immune system, helping your body better fight any skin flare ups before they even start. If you want glowing clear skin without all the harsh treatments, go to cowboycolostrum.com use code Alex. You're gonna get 15 off your order. That's cowboycolostrum.com code Alex for 15 off. Recently my boyfriend asked me to make him some buffalo chicken dip. So I go to work making this dip because I'm a slave to my man. I'm not down with the patriarchy and it. But here's the thing, I wasn't just going to serve any chips with it. I needed chips that could handle it and be good for you. So I grabbed some Masa cabanero chips because I've learned if you're going to do it, do it right. He takes a bite and immediately says, this combo is gas. Direct quote. That's Steve talk for this is my new favorite thing that you've ever made me. A few minutes later and Steve had Eaten enough dip to fill an Olympic swimming pool. So that's a huge deal. He's going on about how these chips didn't break. Like they're built in a lab made with military grade precision. He's like, these chips are so sturdy, babe, they could survive an earthquake. He says the flavor is perfect. It's spicy, it's bold. And apparently the cabanero, he says they've somehow improved his life. So, yeah, guess I nailed it. My boyfriend now thinks I'm some sort of dip goddess. All thanks to Masa chips. Masa chips are like the Navy seals of seed oil free snacks. Just grass fed beef, tallow, organic corn, and Redmond's real Salt. Go to masachips.com, use code realalexclark for 20% off your first order. That's masachips.com, code realalexclark for twenty percent off your first order of seed oil free tortilla chip. We've all kind of grown up with this mentality that alcohol is the secret ingredient that we need to truly celebrate something to be able to truly relax. So if it's not alcohol, what is it for you in those moments?
- [20:10]
B
In those moments, it's actually me realizing that I get to feel those emotions. So what happens when we drink alcohol? Like, it's a preservative, right? It kind of pickles your emotions, but not in a good way. So it keeps you from actually experiencing joy at its highest capacity. So what you're doing when you drink to celebrate is you're actually stopping your experience of joy. And if I'm being honest, most people who I know, who I've coached, they have a really hard time truly, truly being with success and happiness. And while that sounds really messed up, there's this sense of, oh, I don't deserve this, or this feels unsafe, or when is the other shoe going to drop? And I had that, and I had to retrain myself to actually experience joy and success and happiness. And that little experience of just being with it and sitting in a moment and being like, wow, I did this. I wrote a book. I did whatever it is, you don't need anything in your glass. I could drink water at that point and feel amazing because I get to actually sit with the emotion and experience it. And that's a superpower that most people don't have.
- [21:10]
A
If somebody is thinking about going alcohol free, but it's kind of intimidated by it, what's something that they should know to make it feel less overwhelming and intimidating?
- [21:19]
B
You are more Powerful than you know. And you have everything it takes within you to handle a crummy day, a beautiful day. In any emotion, any social situation, you just haven't been flexing that muscle. And if you learn how to do it, you are going to feel powerful beyond measure. And that's what I want anyone to feel is that sense of, I am so powerful, I am so capable. And when we're drinking alcohol, that's just not the message we're sending to ourselves. And I want everyone to know. I've never, ever worked with someone who regretted not drinking on vacation, not drinking at a wedding, not drinking after a bad day, not drinking after a good day. It's never happened. And I just want you to know that so many people have gone before you that have proven out that this is possible and actually really wonderful.
- [22:04]
A
How do you start telling your friends, they, hey, I'm not drinking anymore.
- [22:08]
B
Exactly like that. I tried to keep it really casual because if I went into many any more of an explanation, it turned into this kind of awkward verbal vomit. And so I would just be very positive and say, hey, I'm actually not drinking right now, so I'll just have a, you know, whatever I ordered. And that was enough for most people because I approached it with this sense of confidence that no one questioned it. They were just like, oh, okay.
- [22:28]
A
And then if anything, they're probably gonna be like, oh, wait, why are you doing that? Because I've kind of thought about it.
- [22:31]
B
Exactly. It was less of someone trying to convince me out of it and more of someone thinking, oh, wow, she did that. Tell me more. And that was a really cool realization because we all have this fear that we're going to be, you know, socially excluded or judged when we stop drinking. And the reality is, is a lot of people want to do this. They're just waiting for someone to be brave and go first.
- [22:52]
A
Yeah, I feel like a lot of people who end up going sober kind of unlock like some sort of next level clarity or growth for themselves personally. So do you think that cutting out alcohol helps you get more in tune with yourself and your goals?
- [23:06]
B
Absolutely. How could you be clear when half the time your brain is foggy? And as you kind of illustrated going through those detox effects, your brain is foggy for days after you drink alcohol, if not longer, depending upon how your body takes in alcohol and how you repair. So I all of a sudden had this sense of clarity that was not available to me before. I knew things about what I wanted in my life and who I was. And How I wanted to be that I had never even considered before. And then, oh, by the way, I had the confidence to go after those things. It was wild. You just have this new realization about who you are and how you want to show up and the confidence to go after it.
- [23:42]
A
I also think that there's some weird little tricks that girls play on themselves to kind of tell ourselves that we're doing less damage when we're drinking by, like, only, let's say, going out or twice a month. And then in those times, like, we have a ton to drink, but then we don't really drink otherwise, like, oh, I only go out like once a month, but then that one time a month, you're getting absolutely blasted. So I was kind of curious about this and I was looking it up. We are doing more damage to ourselves physically by binge drinking only once or twice a month than we would be doing to our livers just having one drink a week. It is so unbelievably bad on your liver to inundated with that much alcohol at once than just tiny little amounts even throughout the week. Which, of course, you're advocating for just going without completely. But I think a lot of girls think, like, oh, I'm doing something better because I'm not drinking weekly. It's just like this whole mess. I mean, obviously, I think, if possible, I really, really like this idea of electing to be sober. And it's something that I have kind of been toying with, that I've gotten really, really close to just cutting it out altogether, honestly, because I have an autoimmune disease. And I know notice 100 every single time, even one or two drinks, how it affects me negatively. And so it's like, is it worth it? I just. I love cocktails. You know, there's something really beautiful about, like, a really well crafted drink. So I'm like, I already rarely ever drink, but I'm like, man, maybe I should just go only mocktails from now on.
- [25:08]
B
Oh, my gosh, we have to talk about this, because how many people do I work with who have an autoimmune disorder? And. And they have this dismal outlook on, I'll never be better. But then they're pouring poison into their body, you know, every few days, every few weeks, whatever that is, and it completely obstructs your body's ability to repair and function at normal rates. And so your body is already fighting a little harder than some other people's. And so why pour fuel on the fire, right? And I think that it can be such a powerful thing to. If not eliminate it all together, do a really, really long stint so that you can really see what your body is like when it's operating at optimal capacity.
- [25:45]
A
I'm. And you kind of mentioned this, that you lost some friends when you said, I'm not going to be drinking at all anymore because there's going to be people that are like, okay, well, I always want to be drinking in social settings. So, like, I'm not going to be friends with Amanda. Did you gain though new friend groups by doing other activities outside of just going out?
- [26:01]
B
I have so many amazing, deep, wonderful friendships. I look at the women who I was really worried that they would be judgmental of me and they would gossip about me behind my back. Back. And I remember having a few people that I pinpointed in, oh, we're not going to be friends anymore. And you know what? We don't talk every day. But I just saw actually a lot of those women at a wedding last weekend, and they all keep up with me. They're all excited about my life. And even though we're not on the same page, there's no bad blood there. We just kind of fizzled apart. But then the people who I was able to call in and attract with that open space are so authentically connected to me. They love me, they cheer for me. They love me for my quirks and my oddities. Right before I launched my book, one of my girlfriends threw me a book shower. So it's like a baby shower or a wedding shower. But this was my big accomplishment. Right. It was so sweet. And I remember just sitting there looking at this room full of women who I'd specifically invited and thinking, wow, you all love me.
- [26:59]
A
Yeah.
- [27:00]
B
And you see me and you celebrate me. And I don't know that I'd ever felt that. Truly, truly. From that other friend group.
- [27:06]
A
Yeah. True friendship. And I think that's something too, that is very relatable for the youngest generation is do I have true, real friends? A lot of people, their only friends are like people online even. Not only real life friendship, but also deep, real life friendship, I think is so valuable. I think there's nothing more healing than having a sleepover. Like with your girlfriends.
- [27:29]
B
Yeah.
- [27:29]
A
No matter what age you are.
- [27:30]
B
Yes. And these are all those type of people. I could call them and tell them my deepest, darkest secret, and they would. Would hold my hand through it.
- [27:37]
A
I love that you say you're not the problem. Alcohol is. Can we just unpack that for a minute? Why is it so important for people to hear that, especially if they don't see themselves as having a drinking problem.
- [27:50]
B
Yeah, because, you know, we look at alcohol as this fix all. It's a cure all. It's a band aid. It can, you know, elevate our happiness and cure our sadness. And really, so many of the people out there who are talking about sobriety are telling you that, well, you are an alcoholic or there's something wrong with you or even, you know, we tell ourselves that, well, I can't drink like everyone else, so there must be something wrong with me or I'm having this feeling about alcohol. Isn't that weird or strange? Shouldn't I be enjoying this? And the reality is alcohol is a neurotoxin. It affects you on the cellular level and it changes everything about the way that you show up in life. And so you're not a problem. Alcohol is a solution to your problems. That is a false solution. And if you can get into your life in real life, realize what is it that I'm really trying to solve with alcohol as this band aid and actually solve those problems, you're going to have a life that is really, really miraculous, where you feel really capable and you don't feel like you're doing something wrong. You actually feel like you have the world by the tail.
- [28:54]
A
I was getting ready for a night out recently, and as I applied my makeup, I couldn't help but think my makeup is only going to look as good as my skin. I mean, we spend so much time picking out the perfect foundation or blush, but if we aren't nourishing our skin underneath, it, show. That's why I love Adele Natural Cosmetics. They understand that healthy, radiant skin starts with clean. Good for you ingredients like raw coconut oil, jojoba oil and cocoa butter. Their moisturizing foundation gives you flawless coverage while also hydrating your skin, making it look smooth and healthy. Even without the makeup, their cream blush is packed with nourishing oils is hydrating gives you that natural flush of color. Whether it's their skin care or makeup, every product is made with love to support your skin's health. And the best part, no toxic chemicals, wrinkles, no synthetic fragrance, just pure goodness. So if you want your makeup to look as good as your skin, check out Adele Natural cosmetics today. Use code ALEX for 25 off your first order at Adele Natural Cosmetics.com that's code ALEX for 25 off your 1st order at Adele Natural Cosmetics dot com. Treat your skin to clean nourishing makeup today. Do you have a favorite Mocktail order or recipe.
- [30:00]
B
In my drinking days, I loved a spicy margarita. And so if someone has a. A non alcoholic spirit that mimics Tequil, I really love to play around with that.
- [30:09]
A
Even if we're not drinking every single night, alcohol can still mess with us. So can you share how it kind of messes with our vibe, our energy, our confidence in kind of sneaky ways?
- [30:20]
B
So alcohol, when we drink it, we're always doing it to go toward a favorable way of being right. We want to be sexy, we want to be sophisticated, we want to be fun, we want to be outgoing or away from a personality trait that we think is unfavorable. So we want to be less anxious, we want to be less overwhelmed, we want to be less aggravated. And if you're always drinking to go towards something that you think is good or away from something that you think is bad, you're subconsciously telling yourself, hey, you cannot be those good things on your own. Or oh, you don't know how to handle those bad things on your own. And what a disempowering message to send to yourself that you're not capable. And so you need this thing in your glass that's going to help you. And if alcohol actually gave you those things at some point, you wouldn't need to drink anymore. But it's giving you a false sense of confidence and a false sense of relief. And so know it's really just messing with your self confidence in so many ways.
- [31:10]
A
How can alcohol affect intuition and creativity?
- [31:13]
B
Alcohol clouds clarity, all right? It's putting a kind of a fuzzy film over your entire life and the way that you perceive your life. And so if you want to be clear, have a clear connection with your intuition, have a clear connection to your creativity, my take is the fastest way to do that is to stop drinking alcohol. And I find that when you do that, it is the difference between talking on an old cell phone in a tunnel and being on the newest cell phone right next to a cell phone tower. Even though we don't want to talk about 5G, but it is, you know, your audience, right? Right. It's really powerful to have that feeling that you're truly dialed into who you are and what you want. And I think the other thing about that though, is so much of drinking culture is following with the crowd. Right. So we're just doing what we should do, what everyone else is doing. And that's who I was as a drinker. I was in the job that I thought I should take because it had all of the Benefits and health insurance and allowed me to climb the ladder. And I was going out to the parties that I thought I should go out to and being friends with the people I should be friends with and wearing the clothes I thought I should wear. None of it was really authentic. And so we really just start to follow along with the crowd a lot in that space as well. And we don't give our scenes sense of authenticity and uniqueness that that really we thrive off of.
- [32:27]
A
What are the first steps? Like, okay, I'm here for it. I love what Amanda's saying. Like I want to do it. I want to elect for sobriety even though I'm not an alcoholic. What can they do?
- [32:37]
B
I want you to make a commitment and make it non negotiable. Now ideally we would start with something a little bigger than 30 days. I really like to get someone to 90 days because that's when you really start to see the true benefits. But if 30 days is all you can start with, that's great. Just don't pick something that's too big like forever or something that's too small, like a week, because anyone can do that. I want you to pick something that's powerful and will really boost your confidence. And in my experience, 90 days is that time frame.
- [33:02]
A
Your new book, Unbottled Potential. Fantastic title, beautiful cover. What all do you get into in this book for people that are interested in this subject?
- [33:12]
B
Well, this book is all about breaking up with alcohol and breaking through to your best life. So I really try to help you understand how we're not running away from alcohol, how it's not this shameful thing, how we actually have this really big opportunity if we choose to live in alcohol alcohol free lifestyle. So I really want to set the reader up with an understanding of what they're missing out on as a drinker and then give them the tools to get at that. So emotionally, physically, personally, spiritually, romantically, professionally, I want you to understand how alcohol is holding you back and then give you the inspiration to take that next step. So really it's a traditional self help book with elective sobriety as the foundation.
- [33:46]
A
If you could offer one remedy to heal a sick culture, physically, mentally or spiritually, what would it be?
- [33:52]
B
Oh my gosh. It's simple. Just break up with alcohol. I think that you will be astounded with how much your life changes if you make this one simple. It's not easy, but simple fix.
- [34:02]
A
I'd be really curious in the comments. Anybody who has done what Amanda has done, you just decided like I think I'm just going to stop drinking. Like, how did you see your life improve, change? Just differences that you've noticed, you know, did you totally change friend groups and all that? I'd love to hear your your story in the comments. Amanda, where can people follow you on social media and where can they buy your book? Book?
- [34:22]
B
I am Everywhere online at AmandaKuda and you can get the book on Amazon or wherever books are sold.
- [34:27]
A
Cool. Thanks Amanda for coming on Culture Apothecary.
- [34:29]
B
Thanks Alex.
- [34:33]
A
Have never done an alcohol episode so this was like a really fun, unique, different type of thing for me to do. A lot of you have been asking for it, so I hope this itched a scratch for you. If you did enjoy it, please leave a five star review for Amanda and I and tell others why Culture Apothecary needs to become their number one podcast. We're on a mission to heal a sick culture. Twice a week new guests bring their own unique remedy to do just that. Mondays and Thursdays, 6pm Pacific, 9pm Eastern. Don't forget to subscribe to the YouTube channel at Real Alex Clark. There's tons of stuff there, from YouTube shorts to vlogs and all kinds of fun things. We've got a lot on there. We're really trying to grow that channel and kind of give you guys extra content just beyond Culture Apothecary. And of course you can follow the show on Instagram for other extra content at Culture Apothecary or me at Real Alex Clark. New show Merch is available@tpusamerch.com you can get 10 off with code. Alex Clark I'm Alex Clark and this is Culture Apothecary.