Culture Apothecary with Alex Clark
Episode: Why Your Kids Won't Obey & How To Turn It Around
Guest: Ginger Hubbard (Parenting Expert, Author, Podcaster)
Date: January 13, 2026
Episode Overview
This engaging episode features bestselling author and parenting expert Ginger Hubbard, known for her books Don’t Make Me Count to Three and Wise Words for Moms. Host Alex Clark invites Ginger to dissect the modern epidemic of disobedience among children, why today’s discipline strategies often fail, and how parents can turn chaos at home into lasting respect and genuine obedience. Grounded in biblical principles and practical advice, Ginger offers a roadmap for parents feeling overwhelmed, highlighting heart-oriented discipline, scriptural guidance, and how to reset family culture—no matter how late it seems.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Where to Begin When Overwhelmed
- Start Fresh, No Matter How Long It’s Been
Ginger reassures parents:“You absolutely can just sit your kids down, no matter how old they are, in an age appropriate way. Just say something like, you know, honey, I have not been disciplining you the way that I should. ... Will you forgive me for that?” — Ginger (00:09)
Emphasizes apologizing, asking for forgiveness, and outlining new expectations and consequences.
2. Why Kids Don’t Obey: Diagnosing the Discipline Crisis
- Culture of Defiance
"We live in a nation that defies God at every point, including child training." — Ginger (02:10) - Two-Fold Problem
- Faulty discipline methods focused on behavior, not the heart.
- Failure to use the “instruction manual”—the Bible—as the parenting guide.
3. Why Gentle Parenting Isn’t Working
- Ginger critiques modern “gentle parenting” methods, even in Christian circles:
“The kids that I see that are being parented with gentle parenting...they’re miserable. They’re living their lives with no self-control. They’re never satisfied. ... That's not a blessing to kids and it's not a blessing to others. And it doesn't glorify God.” — Ginger (07:33)
4. Misbehavior as Opportunity, Not Disruption
- Reframe misbehavior:
“When we view those opportunities every time our children misbehave as precious opportunities to point them to the truths and the wisdom of God's word, then we are going to be far more righteous in our training.” — Ginger (08:45)
Encourages seeing discipline moments as valuable teaching opportunities, not just frustrations.
5. Reactive vs. Proactive Parenting
- Proactive: Setting expectations in advance (e.g., before a party or grocery trip).
- Reactive: Only correcting after misbehavior occurs.
- Use scenarios and role-play:
“If you set expectations, they understand...but then they choose to disobey, they're choosing a consequence.” — Ginger (15:48)
6. Common Discipline Mistakes
- Bribing:
“That's not really training for obedience. That's rewarding the child for foolishness, for stubbornness, for disobedience, giving them a reward in order to get them to obey.” — Ginger (19:12)
- Threatening:
Discusses how idle threats (“If you don't, I'll...”) undermine parental authority. - Counting to Three & Repeating:
“Children will rise to the standard that the parents set. If we don't expect our children to obey until we count to three, they're probably not going to obey until we start counting.” — Ginger (23:13)
7. The Three-Step Heart-Oriented Discipline Approach
(27:40)
- Ask Heart-Probing Questions:
- Example: "Does biting or hitting show kindness?"
- Modeled on Jesus’ use of questions to reveal the heart.
- What to ‘Put Off’:
- Identify the negative behavior according to Scripture.
- What to ‘Put On’:
- Replace wrong behavior with a biblical virtue or response.
Practical Tool:
- Wise Words for Moms chart: Quick reference for 32 common behaviors, heart questions, scriptural guidance, and alternatives (30:10).
8. Administration of Consequences
- Consistency is vital:
“When we are consistent, children learn the law of the harvest. ... They reap what they sow.” — Ginger (41:59) - Age-appropriate consequences:
- Younger children: Immediate and clear.
- Older children: Can delay consequences until home if needed.
9. Role of the Parent’s Heart and Prayer
- "There is nothing that we can do to change the hearts of our children. ... Only God can change their hearts." — Ginger (39:12)
- Importance of praying over every parenting effort.
10. Avoiding Reasoning with Young Children
- Providing clear instructions is crucial; reasoning leads to confusion and a breakdown in authority.
(See scenario at 39:55)
11. Dealing with Defiance and Attitude
- Addressing heart, not just action—refer back to scriptural teaching on defiant attitude and submission (43:18).
12. Modeling Repentance and Vulnerability
- If a parent fails (e.g., yells), model confession and repentance:
“The angry way that I just spoke to you, it did not show respect for you and it did not honor God. Will you forgive me?” — Ginger (50:02)
13. Handling Parental Anger
- Step away before disciplining in anger. Use the moment for self-reflection and prayer (49:21).
14. On “Timeout” and Discipline Methods
- Not universally opposed but doesn’t recommend if it leads to more disobedience or power struggles (49:09).
- Quick resolution, clean slate, and direct approach preferred.
15. Spanking/Rod: Biblical Perspective
- Advocates for biblical use of the rod — with gentleness, not anger.
“If you punish him with a rod, he will not die. Punish him with a rod and save his soul from death.” — Ginger quoting Proverbs (60:20) - Against any form of abusive or reactive spanking.
16. Resetting Family Dynamics at Any Stage
- Even after years of dysfunction, apologizing and resetting expectations is possible (62:29).
17. Building Lasting Relationship
- Nurture beyond discipline; invest in fun, quality time, and balance. Transition to a coaching role as kids age (63:29).
Notable Quotes
- “There is far more to parenting than getting our children to act right. We have to get them to think right and to be motivated out of a love of virtue, a love for what's right, a love for God, rather than just a fear of punishment.” — Ginger (02:36)
- “The heart attitude needs to be: I love my children too much to allow them to disobey and live foolishly.” — Ginger (47:21)
- "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." — Ginger, citing Galatians 6:9 as her parenting life verse (69:54)
Timestamps for Important Segments
- (00:09) — Resetting discipline with a fresh start
- (02:10) — Why kids are disobedient today
- (07:33) — Ginger’s view on gentle parenting
- (10:06) — Reactive vs. proactive parenting explanation
- (19:12) — Why bribing, threatening, and counting don’t work
- (23:13) — Counting to three and standards for obedience
- (27:40) — Ginger’s three-step discipline framework
- (30:10) — Wise Words for Moms chart explained
- (39:12) — Only God can change a child’s heart
- (41:59) — The power of consistency
- (49:21) — Handling anger as a parent
- (60:10) — Biblical argument for/against spanking
- (62:29) — Beginning again when it’s “too late”
- (63:29) — Raising kids who want a relationship as adults
- (69:54) — Ginger’s “remedy” for a sick culture and encouragement for weary parents
Tone & Language
- Warm, honest, direct, and biblically grounded. Ginger balances encouragement with practical “tough love,” using relatable stories, humor, and heartfelt advice.
Resources & Where to Find Them
- Books & Charts:
- GingerHubbard.com — Don’t Make Me Count to Three, Wise Words for Moms, podcast study guide
- Discount code: PARENTING for 10% off podcast resources (69:21)
- Instagram:
Final Encouragement
“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” — Ginger (69:54)
Ginger’s enduring message: Don’t give up. With consistency, prayer, and a heart-oriented approach, parents can reset and rebuild their homes—no matter how late it seems.
For more:
- Listen to the Parenting with Ginger Hubbard podcast and access the Wise Words for Moms chart.
- Join the Culture Apothecary community on Instagram and Facebook to continue the discussion.