Are We Smarter Than a Fifth Grader? With a Twist...

Summary

DaBaddest Radio – "Are We Smarter Than A Fifth Grader?"

Release Date: March 5, 2026
Host: Bretman Rock (with Ms. K and Ozzy)
Podcast Network: Dear Media

---

Episode Overview

In this lively, confidence-boosting episode, Bretman Rock, joined by his bestie Ms. K and friend Ozzy, puts their brains (and their ability to operate under “recreational” conditions) to the test with a round of “Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?” The group gamely answers trivia questions from fifth grade all the way down to first grade, with playful banter, infectious laughter, and plenty of signature DaBaddest energy. The trio’s hilarious attempts at grade school questions, fashion commentary, and joyful chaos make for a wildly entertaining listen.

---

Key Discussion Points & Highlights

1. Opening Vibes: Favorite Days and Fashion Commentary

[00:01–04:00]

• The crew opens chatting about their favorite days of the week, landing on Friday because it's “that girl.”
• Fashion check: Bretman boasts his Willy Chavarria fit, proclaiming he’s in his “Chicano era, in my Filipino primo era.”
• Ms. K picks a gem from Bretman’s “giveaway pile” with a cock fighter motif, and both compare hats (“big BOGO energy”).
• Ms. K shares her custom “hydration kit” drink: “blueberry banana with a hit of white peach.”
  Memorable quote:
  “I am literally in my Chicano era, in my Filipino primo era.” — Bretman [01:48]

2. Game Introduction: Trivia & “Litty”

[04:00–07:54]

• No usual segments: “We’re skipping the tea today because we are getting into the nitty-gritty.”
• Ozzy sets the rules: For each trivia “hit,” they answer grade-based questions, starting from 5th down to 1st; each set of questions is followed by another “recreational activity.”
• The mood is celebratory and goofy as they settle in—jokes about being “lady gr” and “buzz lit ear.”
  Memorable banter:
  “This is one hit in. I’m so sorry for anybody that has to listen to this.” — Bretman [09:26]

3. Fifth Grade Trivia Round

[09:37–20:25]

• Sample Questions & Answers:
  • First three digits of Pi ("3.14" – correct) [10:36–10:38]
  • Value of Roman numeral L (“100” – incorrect; it’s 50) [11:14–11:32]
  • What is a simile? (Mistaken for synonym; corrected by Ozzy—simile: comparison using 'like' or 'as') [13:04–13:49]
  • PEMDAS (Order of operations—nailed it after some struggle) [14:34–15:15]
  • What’s the point (0,0) on a graph called? (Origin; needed a clue) [15:24–16:37]
  • Scientist who studies weather? (Eventually: Meteorologist) [17:05–18:06]

Quote:
“Simile is when, so it’s a comparison using the words like or as. What you guys are thinking of is synonym.” — Ozzy [13:36]

Moment:
When they struggle with “simile” vs “synonym,” they break into laughter and plead for leniency because, as Bretman says, “Can you guys really emphasize that we're lit and we're nervous with all these bright lights?” [14:05]

4. Fourth Grade Trivia

[20:53–30:08]

• Sample Questions:
  • Three states of matter (solid, liquid, gas – correct) [21:23–21:29]
  • Legs on a spider (eight – correct, after some back-and-forth) [22:20–22:53]
  • Largest ocean (debate between Pacific & Atlantic; lock in Atlantic, but it was Pacific) [23:16–25:22]
  • A story of a real person written by another—biography (get there eventually) [26:32–28:01]
  • Galaxy we live in? (Milky Way – correct) [28:25–28:34]

Quote:
"Pacific. Atlantic sounds more big. Pacific. Atlantic. Kiefer. Atlantic sounds huge." — Bretman [23:47]

Moment:
Their ocean confusion and banter about “Ariel’s sisters” and whether the “oceanic ocean” exists is peak DaBaddest comedy [24:20–25:05].

5. Third Grade Trivia

[30:21–41:04]

• Sample Questions:
  • Is a dolphin a fish or a mammal? (Mammal—correct) [31:42–31:46]
  • Vowels in English alphabet (A, E, I, O, U—almost forget “sometimes Y”) [32:28–33:44]
  • How many ounces in a pint? (Painfully struggle; it’s 16) [33:55–34:27]
  • Three branches of US government (Judicial, Legislative, Executive—get there with help) [35:03–36:39]
  • Perimeter of a square with 5-inch sides (20 inches—correct) [37:46–38:02]
  • Bonus: First three US presidents (with clues: George Washington, John Adams, Thomas Jefferson) [39:26–40:32]

Quote:
"Why would third graders need to know that? Because I didn’t even know." — Bretman (on branches of govt.) [36:49]

Memorable:
Ms. K's commentary about powerful female bugs, referencing how “a female praying mantis eats the male’s head while mating,” spirals into comic gold [38:42–39:17].

6. Second Grade Trivia

[41:05–51:28]

• Sample Questions:
  • Largest planet in solar system (say Saturn, but it’s Jupiter) [45:32–45:51]
  • Opposite of northeast (southwest—get there with reasoning) [46:07–47:02]
  • Sides in a pentagon (fluctuate wildly, finally land on five) [47:34–49:12]
  • Imaginary line dividing Earth north/south (equator—correct) [49:35–50:18]
  • Caterpillar becomes a butterfly (metamorphosis—correct) [50:34–50:43]
  • Bonus: Name for a 10-sided polygon (decagon) & years in a decade (10) [50:56–51:09]

7. First Grade Trivia & Graduating

[52:03–57:39]

• Sample Questions:
  • How many pennies in a dime? (10 – correct) [52:21–52:36]
  • Two dimes + three nickels? (35 cents – correct) [52:44–53:10]
  • Syllables in “hippopotamus” (five – correct after much laughter) [53:18–53:58]
  • Group of lions? (Pride – correct) [54:05–54:18]
  • How many months have exactly 30 days? (They say five, it's four: April, June, September, November) [54:35–56:10]
  • What’s heavier: pound of bricks or feathers? (They’re the same) [56:34–57:01]
  • Redemption: Definition of synonym (correctly answer: two words with the same meaning) [57:08–57:24]

Quote:
"How many syllables are in the word hippopotamus?" — Ozzy
"Five! … You guys have me worried without you."
— [53:34–54:01]

---

Notable Quotes & Moments

• On forgetting basics:
  “Who the f*** knows about simile? Fifth graders.” — Ozzy [14:19]

• On “executive” branch:
  “I think I said it once upon a time.” — Bretman [36:44]

• On being stumped by ounces in a pint:
  “I only know for just milliliters for my matchas.” — Bretman [34:51]

• On their process:
  “We can get these wrong and still pass, correct?” — Bretman [54:23]

---

Funniest and Most “DaBaddest” Interludes

• Recurring jokes about changing hats and outfits, Bretman’s “Chicano/Filipino primo” energy, and Ms. K’s ever-changing glasses and headwear [01:48, 20:18, 38:20].
• The cast roasting themselves for “barely passing” each grade, with supportive but honest grading by Ozzy.
• Detours into Filipino dance crews, childhood school memories, age-banter, and drag show outfit planning.
• The final segment unites comedy and camaraderie: singing, a badminton challenge, and a cheeky sign-off.

---

Timestamps for Important Segments

• Favorite day/fashion/kindergarten-era: [00:01–04:00]
• Game setup/explanation: [04:00–07:54]
• Fifth grade round: [09:37–20:25]
• Fourth grade round: [20:53–30:08]
• Third grade round: [30:21–41:04]
• Second grade round: [41:05–51:28]
• First grade/final round: [52:03–57:39]
• Sign-off/farewell: [57:39–59:47]

---

Overall Tone & Takeaway

Bretman, Ms. K, and Ozzy deliver exactly what the DaBaddest Radio promises—confidence, laughter, and a refusal to take themselves too seriously. The grade-school quiz journey showcases their dynamic and energy, with a fun-loving atmosphere that makes listeners feel invited into the group. Between humorous mix-ups (“bibliography” for “biography,” “pentagon” math woes, simile vs synonym confusion) and their encouraging attitude, the show closes with a sense that being “the baddest” means having fun, owning your mistakes, and celebrating every small win.

---

If you want a taste of DaBaddest wit, a shot of self-love, and a reminder not to sweat the small stuff, this episode is a must-listen.

Transcript

[A]

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. Hello. Hello, everybody. It is Thursday yet again, my favorite day of the week. Honestly. Well, what is your actual favorite day of the week?

[B]

My favorite day of the week is honestly Wednesday.

[A]

Oh, she's cute. She's giving middle child energy. We're both middle child.

[B]

It's giving the shortest day of the week.

[A]

I feel like I'm a Friday girl. I'm a Friday girly. I feel like Friday is that girl. Aloha Friday. Everything just happens on Fridays. And speaking of Friday, today we're gonna go to a drag show.

[B]

Yes, we are.

[A]

I'm so excited. And we have a very cute episode planned for you guys today. If you guys watch our last week's episode, you probably already know what it is based on the title and what we talked about. We are getting lit. Sweat.

[B]

Just getting lit. Hi.

[A]

And we'll get into that after this intro. Earth to Bratman girl. You already know who it is. And we are back. Hello. Thank you guys so much for visiting us again on this lovely Thursday. I just want to say I'm very proud of my outfit today. I'm wearing.

[B]

It's so cute.

[A]

It's Willy Chavaria. And Ms. K made a cute joke earlier that I'm really in my Filipino era. I will say, though, it was before I got this hat, before I went on lapica and before I hung out

[B]

with Louis, but giving Bretman quintanilla

[A]

bidi biddy Bretman.

[B]

Yeah,

[A]

Batman, exactly. But, yeah, that is the vibe today. I am literally in my Chicano era, in my Filipino primo era.

[B]

And he's the fighter. I am the cop. The. Yes.

[A]

Ms. K was surprised that we were going to do two episodes today. So these are clothes that are in giveaway pile in my little giveaway pile.

[B]

And I saw it, and I thought it was so cute.

[A]

It's so cute. You should keep that.

[C]

You got to move the mic so you can see.

[B]

Oh, sorry.

[C]

This way, this way.

[B]

Oh, it says cock fighter, period.

[A]

And what does your hat say?

[B]

Out in public.

[A]

And what does your hat say?

[B]

It says big BOGO energy.

[A]

Ms. K, what is this drink that you have here today?

[B]

Oh, my God. So I was inspired by heated rivalry.

[A]

Oh, my God. And my outfit giving all the things you said. All the things you said running through my hand.

[B]

So this is giving the blueberry banana with a hit of white peach from your little hydration.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Kit. Yes. I'm kidding. Keeping up with your diet. So, yeah. Oh, I gave some to Aussie too, so please try it.

[A]

Wait, somebody cooked here? Somebody cooked here.

[C]

Thank you.

[B]

Double the hydration. Get your fruits, get your.

[C]

Wait, what's in here?

[B]

Fibers. It's literally just blueberry, banana, honey and the white peach. Liquid Ivy.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh, that's.

[B]

And apple juice.

[A]

It's giving.

[B]

I like to use juice instead of.

[A]

How did you know? White peach. And the apple juice was not going to like be weird.

[C]

That's why I asked. Cuz the apple juice was like took me.

[B]

It was like surprise. I don't know. I just thought it was like.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

Cuz I know peach is like a very subtly.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And they're like in like the family.

[A]

There he is. So we're going to skip our segments today. So no tea from Ms. K and no tea from me because we are getting in the nitty gritty.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Okay. Azi, would you like to tell what we're doing today?

[C]

So we. Well, they are going to partake in some recreational activities.

[A]

Exactly. That means G. Burn. Ganja. Burn. Ganja.

[C]

Ganja. And each. What should we call it? A hit.

[A]

Yeah, each hit.

[C]

Each hit. We're going to. We're going to do some trivia just like last time.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

But we're going to do. Are you smarter than a fifth grader? And then we're going to go down each grade. So fourth grade, third grade, second grade, all the way till first grade. When they should be super liddy.

[A]

Yes. And we're gonna get. We're gonna do a hit every 10 minutes or after. Every time we answer all of Ozzy's questions. This is gonna be a group work. So because girl by hit two or three. Girl. We're gonna share a brain stuff.

[B]

Yeah, I'm sorry.

[A]

Yeah. Because it's giving very much less discuss.

[B]

Yes, yes.

[A]

So should we get into it?

[B]

We said should we.

[A]

Brb.

[C]

What's the phrase again?

[A]

You're going to say we got to powder our nose because somebody was like, girl, that means something else.

[B]

Powder.

[A]

Let's. Let's touch up. Yeah, yeah, let's do. Yeah, maybe let's go apply some gloss.

[B]

Oh. Because we're about to get glossy.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

All right, guys.

[A]

Brb. Keep our seat warm.

[C]

Foreign.

[A]

Sorry for interrupting your program. This episode is brought to you by Sephora. You guys already know skin care is literally one of my favorite topics. And my biggest focus has always been keeping my skin hydrated, smooth and glowy without compromising my barrier with my skin. If something's off, I see it immediately. So. So I don't play when it comes to where I shop. That's why Sephora has always been my trusted destination for skincare. In a world where there are millions of products, trends and opinions flying around, Sephora really is the skincare authority. They understand your skin, whether you're dealing with dryness, texture, breakout, fine line, whatever it is. And they carry quality skin care for every skin type that you can actually trust. And what I love is that you're not just shopping products. You have access to knowledgeable beauty advisors who can help recommend what actually works for you that makes such a difference, especially when skincare can feel overwhelming. They carry top brands I genuinely love, like Summer Fridays, Rhode laneige and Cloudily. In a world where there are millions of products, trends and opinions flying around, Sephora really is the skincare authority. They understand your skin and they carry quality skin care for every skin type that you can actually trust. So whether I'm restocking a go to moisturizer, looking for something to lock in hydration, or trying a new treatment, I know I can find it all in one place in the overwhelming world of skincare. Shop Sephora to cut through the noise, shop Skincare at Sephora. Now let's get back to the video.

[D]

Hi, I'm Elizabeth Endress, a wellness founder for nearly a decade. My passion for feeling really good and commitment to the deep inner work have led me here, where I'll be sharing all the modalities that have helped me and sitting down weekly for unfiltered conversations with healers, practitioners, founders and dear friends. I truly didn't believe emotions caused chronic symptoms until I started healing and realizing that my type A highly sensitive personality was very much linked to my skin and gut issues, pelvic pain and more. If you were the sensitive one in the family growing up, the Wellness Process Podcast is for you. You can listen to the Wellness Process Podcast wherever you get your podcasts. I am so happy you're here.

[A]

And we're back.

[B]

Us casually ruining Aussie's ears.

[A]

Literally.

[C]

I have headphones on, so I'm okay.

[A]

Ozzy, I have a Genu question. Yes, only if you answer me genuinely.

[C]

I always do.

[A]

Have you ever been Liddy?

[C]

I have been Liddy Do.

[A]

Yeah, I have been Litty Cat. Okay. And how was that for you, Lady Cat?

[C]

I. I think I've had multiple experience, like different experiences.

[A]

So you was. You was Lady Gaga.

[C]

Oh no.

[A]

So how was it?

[C]

Was good. I had the experience where like you get super hungry. I've had experience. I. Have you guys ever driven?

[A]

Well, yes, especially when I'm

[C]

oh my God. So, so bleedy. I can't do one.

[A]

Wait. You know, when I'm really high, I'm lady gr.

[C]

That's a good one.

[B]

That's a cute one.

[C]

You guys should come up with one every time you guys come back.

[A]

Sure, sure, sure, sure.

[B]

Lady sw.

[A]

Not to be confused with lady shirt. You can't get those two confused.

[B]

No. Two different people.

[A]

Oh, my God, girl. This is one hit in.

[B]

I know.

[A]

I'm so sorry for anybody that has to listen to this, but please let us know how much you guys enjoy it. All right, Ozzy.

[C]

All right.

[A]

Grade questions, right?

[C]

What'd you say?

[A]

We're starting from the top.

[C]

Yeah. Fifth grade. So are you smarter than we got this.

[B]

Oh, I'm already in college.

[C]

You know, I. I'm not worried about the fifth grade questions. I'm worried about the first grade questions.

[B]

Oh, I passed first grade.

[A]

While I was literally, like, first grade was probably the easiest for me.

[B]

It was like a blink of an eye.

[A]

Like, I rem. And I was like, this is it.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

You want me to trace a line?

[B]

You want me to sleep?

[C]

Got it.

[A]

Right. No, that's free.

[B]

No, I slept in the first grade.

[C]

What do you mean you slept? Like, for school?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Like so. Like, I was in the Philippines.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's all you have to say? Yeah.

[B]

So we have golden door. Golden door. We have nap times in the middle of our.

[C]

Must be nice.

[A]

Yeah. Thank you. All right, fifth grade questions. Hit me.

[C]

All right. Are you Smarter than the fifth grader? First question. What are the first three digits of PI?

[A]

3. 1.

[B]

3.14.

[C]

Correct.

[B]

7, 9, 8, 4. 1.

[C]

Do I need to fact check that?

[B]

No, no, you don't have to.

[C]

I'm fact checking.

[B]

You don't have to do it.

[C]

Okay, try. Say it again.

[A]

3.14948.

[B]

Something. Something.

[A]

It's not. But the first question was right, so who gives A.

[B]

And infinity and beyond Said by buzz lit.

[A]

Light year.

[C]

Buzz lit ear.

[B]

Buzz lit.

[C]

Okay, second question.

[A]

Hit me.

[C]

What is the value of the Roman numeral L?

[A]

L. 1.

[B]

Oh, no, no.

[A]

That's I. That's I.

[B]

Well, are we talking about lowercase L?

[C]

Talking about this? Oh, uppercase.

[B]

It's giving 100.

[A]

It is. I think. Is it?

[C]

Are you guys lucky in 100?

[A]

I think we're gonna have to lock in 100.

[C]

Answer is 50.

[B]

I was gonna say 50.

[A]

I wasn't. That was not even in my.

[C]

I think 100 is M or C or.

[A]

Are you.

[C]

Let me fact check myself.

[B]

It would be like that. 100.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Two L's.

[B]

100. 100.

[C]

Okay, so you guys are what, one for two.

[A]

Okay. Don't be so loud about it. Like, really two and a half.

[C]

Question number three. What is a simile?

[B]

A simile?

[A]

A simile.

[B]

It's when something is like. It's when. Another word for something.

[A]

Yeah, metaphor.

[B]

Like the same. Same meaning but different words.

[A]

No.

[B]

Assimile. A similarity. No, that's where it came from.

[A]

You're thinking about something else. A simile.

[B]

A simile is when something is the same, but in different fonts.

[A]

Is it.

[C]

Are you locking it in different fonts?

[A]

You mean like different.

[B]

Like different words? Let's say like summer is giving. No, like it's giving. Like 100 degrees and hot.

[A]

Yeah. Like when you.

[B]

It means it's the same thing.

[A]

Yeah. When something means the same. Right. Or is it like more like. I think simile is in the world of the metaphor. Yeah.

[B]

A similarity.

[C]

You are correct right on that sense. But I need the actual answer, though. But you're. You're getting there.

[A]

Yes. A metaphor is when something is exaggerated. Like when something's. Like. It's raining cats. Right. It's when someone thinks raining skies and dog. That's a metaphor.

[C]

That's a hyperbole.

[B]

Did you just say hyperbole?

[C]

Hyperbole, yes.

[A]

Right.

[C]

In.

[A]

In. Just be safe English.

[C]

I'm not.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I thought we were talking about English.

[A]

Metaphorically. Okay. Metaphorically speaking. Okay. Someone said the same thing.

[B]

It means the same thing.

[A]

Yeah. Simile. Okay. What is it?

[C]

It is so. So you guys are wrong. Simile is when. So it's a comparison. Using the words like or. Yeah, what you guys are thinking of is synonym.

[A]

That's what I. I know. I was like.

[C]

So synonym is same meaning, different words.

[B]

I'm so sorry.

[A]

Oh, my God, Kiefer. They have to post this and. I know. Wait, can you guys really emphasize that we're lit and we're nervous with all these bright lights.

[B]

Yes. And all of these

[C]

bother. Nervous.

[A]

You guys like to.

[B]

It's just straight looking at us.

[C]

They were just talking smack.

[A]

Not so long the past two rounds. Girl, we lost.

[C]

Yeah, you guys are one for three, girl.

[B]

Who the knows about simile?

[C]

Fifth graders.

[A]

Right.

[C]

All right, question number four. What is the order of operations in math? The acronyms stand for.

[A]

Wait, what?

[C]

Yeah, the operations. Yeah. Pemdas.

[A]

Pemdas.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Right.

[C]

Correct. You get an extra point if you can tell me what it.

[A]

I swear we had this question before.

[B]

What pemdas means.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Like parentheses, multiplication, in order, exponent, Pemda. Oh, no.

[A]

Parentheses, exponent.

[B]

No, it's not.

[A]

Multiplication, division, addition, subtraction.

[B]

It's not exponent. Oh, it is. Because the. Because. Okay, I'm thinking about an equation. So there's the parentheses and then there's a little two on the top.

[A]

Yes, that's the exponent. And you really got me so fucked up. We are getting this shit wrong. Because you're ass.

[B]

And then multiplication, division, addition, subtraction.

[C]

All right. Correct, please.

[A]

What did you think?

[B]

Excuse my dear Aunt Sally.

[C]

Yeah, extra point for that.

[A]

Now, excuse her. Now, what did she do?

[C]

Another math question. So in the coordinate plane on a graph. So you guys know what a graph is, right?

[A]

Yes.

[C]

What is the Name of the.00?

[A]

X and Y. Yeah.

[C]

On the X and Y axis. The.00 on the graph. What is that point called?

[B]

A decimal.

[A]

What the is that called?

[B]

Yeah, the beginning of everything.

[A]

The beginning of the world.

[C]

Okay, so you're gonna begin. Origin. Okay. Beginning. What is that called?

[A]

Big. That's what we're figuring out.

[B]

Bp.

[A]

There's a call for it.

[C]

Yeah, there's a name. I think if I say you guys

[B]

are gonna be like, zero negativity, does

[A]

it start with an O?

[C]

It does. See? You know.

[A]

Oh, my God. See, I'm lit as hell when you

[C]

guys said the beginning of something. That's kind of this, like, beginning order.

[A]

The synonym of it.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

What's the synonym of beginning?

[C]

It's the simile. I'm just kidding. Starts with an O.

[A]

Opposition.

[C]

You want the second letter?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

R. Origin. Correct.

[A]

Yes. Beginning, origin. The starting origin.

[C]

Let the record show that I had to help give clues for the answer.

[A]

You can keep the help.

[C]

Okay, last question, because we're nearing 10 minutes.

[B]

Oh, my gosh.

[A]

We should call in a friend, too. Anyone but Nikki.

[B]

Yes, of course.

[C]

No, you should call Nikki.

[A]

Just because we get one free Nikki

[B]

call and then one friend, one visitor call from.

[C]

I'll allow it. Okay, last question is. What do you call a scientist that studies weather?

[B]

Weatherman.

[C]

And the answer is Not Guy Hoggy.

[A]

Oh, my God, that Guy Hoggy. He's our weatherman here.

[B]

A study.

[A]

Does it end with ologists? Yes, weatherologists.

[C]

Are you locking that in?

[A]

No, that's not. I know. It's more scientific than that.

[B]

Temperature.

[A]

Temperature.

[C]

Temporologists.

[B]

Temporologist.

[C]

Ideologists.

[B]

I did not learn this in science.

[C]

You guys did.

[A]

This is in fifth grade.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

All I went is physical science. It starts with biology. Astronomy.

[A]

Meteorologist.

[C]

Correct.

[B]

How do you know that?

[A]

I thought that was. I was Saying meteorologist.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Meteorologist. Correct.

[B]

Meteor.

[A]

That's what they're called.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Media or meteor.

[C]

Meteor. Like meteor. Oh.

[A]

Oh, that's what I said.

[B]

Meteorologist.

[C]

Yes. I see.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

That's. So how does that.

[A]

Meteorologist. It's meteor.

[C]

Yeah. Meteor.

[A]

Me.

[C]

Well, it sounds like.

[B]

Wouldn't that be like astronomy?

[C]

That's an astrologist.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because they study of the outer planets. Is it meteor. An outer planet thing.

[A]

But. Okay, next question. I don't make up the name. I really don't even want to know the answer to that right now because,

[C]

like, you don't want to.

[B]

How is weather?

[A]

Before you ask me to understand the answer.

[B]

No, I don't. But. Okay, continue.

[C]

Well, that was the last.

[A]

Because I don't think I would understand.

[B]

Meteor. That is such an.

[A]

You know, when they're looking down.

[B]

Shooting star, probably.

[A]

Well, it's time to pop. It's time to touch up. Oh.

[C]

It comes from the Greek word meteoron, which means something that happens in the sky. Oh. You know.

[B]

You know what makes more sense now, now. Thank you.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

Thank you for that now. I respect that answer. I'm so sorry. Yes. Nice.

[C]

Well, that is the end of.

[A]

Would you say that was the origin. Beginning of origin of the word meteorologist?

[C]

I would Give that score 3.14. Tell your. Your dear Aunt Sally.

[A]

Right, exactly. Because, please, we have to exponentially remove ourselves from this situation.

[B]

We're gonna do our pem. This version of us leaving.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Please excuse me.

[A]

Us. These. Excuse.

[C]

These.

[A]

These. No, it's m. Please excuse my.

[B]

Divided.

[C]

The baddest.

[A]

The baddest. Please excuse my. The baddest. I don't know. Me.

[C]

Anchor system.

[A]

The baddest.

[C]

Well, how about we just let the people down below.

[B]

Excuse me.

[A]

The baddest. Figure it out. Yeah. As I. As I shovel.

[B]

What was it again?

[A]

Please excuse me. The baddest. As I shovel.

[C]

As I shovel.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Right. And we are back. Why did I cough into the camera like that? That was rude.

[B]

Sorry.

[A]

All right, Kiefer, we're back, and we're in grade four now. I feel like I genuinely. Locked in.

[B]

Yes. I graduated.

[A]

I feel like on that last one.

[C]

Or you guys currently are locked in.

[A]

Like, I feel locked in. Like, I feel like we're not gonna get anything wrong.

[C]

Yeah, we'll see. I feel like it should. So it should be getting easier from here on out because we're going down grade levels. It should.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So let's see. All right, fourth grader, questions number one.

[A]

Think before you speak.

[C]

Yes, what are the three states of matter?

[A]

Oh, my God. Solid, gas and liquid.

[C]

Correct.

[B]

Yes, I was gonna say the same thing. Yes, correct. Wow, that's amazing.

[C]

Well, there's a fourth one they just discovered.

[B]

Which is.

[A]

Which is.

[C]

What's a.

[A]

What's a. What's that?

[C]

What's the matter?

[A]

What's the Girl. Get the.

[C]

What's the matter with you?

[A]

Get the.

[C]

I was waiting to do my dad.

[B]

I thought I was.

[A]

No, what's the matter?

[C]

What's the matter? And then I was gonna say, nothing. What's the matter with you? But.

[A]

All right, well, you're not gonna get a joke out of it.

[C]

Ah, you're right.

[B]

What's up?

[C]

All right. You guys are one for one. Fourth grade questions. We do have five questions for this.

[A]

Okay. And we're gonna get everyone right.

[C]

Number two, this one's a little bit easier. How many legs does a spider have?

[B]

Eight.

[A]

Eight.

[C]

Locking in.

[A]

No, two.

[C]

Three.

[A]

I think it's six.

[B]

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

[A]

One. Wait, Not my hair. Count my tattoo. How many legs are there?

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. Okay, eight, cuz.

[B]

Two. Two in the front, two in the back. Two in the back, and then two in the middle.

[A]

Day eight.

[C]

Correct. It is eight.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I thought it was like one, one, one. I like asking if everything happened is amazing. Like, that's how I know. Like, I'm being guided to the correct answer. The correct answer, but to, like, success.

[B]

That was scary.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Are you okay? You locked in?

[B]

Are you okay?

[A]

Oh, we're two for two. I'm more than okay.

[C]

Yeah, for two. All right, number three. What is the largest ocean?

[A]

Pacific.

[B]

Yes, exactly that.

[C]

Are you. Are you locking that in?

[A]

Well, yeah, I think it might be Atlantic. Atlantic sounds more big.

[B]

No, but the body of. What? Where is Mariana?

[A]

Frenches.

[B]

Yeah, girl. Where's that bitch at?

[A]

I think she's in. Okay, wait, wait, wait. No, but listen to the words.

[B]

I think she's in.

[A]

Atlantic. That sounds like a big bitch. Pacific. That's a bitch with a waist. Pacific. Atlantic. Kiefer. Atlantic sounds huge.

[B]

I don't think so. I think Pacific Energy.

[A]

You think Pacific? I do think so, too, but I feel like Atlantic just sounds correct. And the way that, like, I feel like Ozzy would have cut us off at Pacific and like, you're right. And he didn't. It's Atlantic.

[B]

What is the other oceans?

[C]

Yeah, they're all the oceans. Oceans.

[A]

Oceans.

[B]

Oh, that's a river.

[A]

Well, I'm thinking about. Well, you know what I'm thinking about is Ariel's sisters.

[B]

So the Atlantic, the North Pole, and

[A]

the South Pole, which.

[B]

Yes,

[C]

actually, let's ask this question. How many. How many major oceans do we have? Okay, you guys are both wrong.

[A]

Eight.

[B]

Three.

[C]

Still wrong.

[B]

One.

[C]

What you say?

[A]

What is it?

[B]

They're all connected.

[C]

There's five.

[A]

Oh, there is five oceans. I knew that.

[B]

The Pacific, Atlantic, Oceanic.

[C]

The oceanic ocean.

[A]

I really do think it's just in between Pacific or Atlantic.

[B]

I think it's Pacific.

[A]

Okay, we're gonna just lock.

[B]

Because when you look at the maps, there's always that one big ass.

[A]

I think Atlantic sounds more big, Kiefer.

[B]

Okay, fine.

[A]

Let's go Atlantic because we always go with yours.

[B]

Okay, let's go Atlantic.

[A]

Is it Atlantic?

[C]

It is not Atlantic.

[A]

Is it specific?

[C]

It's specific.

[B]

I told you.

[C]

The fact that I just have to go like, are you guys locking it in? Right after you guys have the answer, I was like, it's like, hilarious because

[B]

every time you see the world, you see the biggest sea, which is Atlantic.

[A]

Just sounds like a big bit.

[B]

She is.

[C]

Can you guys name the other oceans?

[B]

Pacific, Pacific, Atlantic, Indian.

[A]

Correct.

[B]

It's Philippine Sea.

[C]

One, no sea.

[B]

Oh, so that's with, like, the Black Sea.

[C]

Yeah, like anything. Seas are smaller.

[B]

Antarctic and Arctic.

[C]

Good job. Five killed it.

[A]

Oh, wow. Since you know so much and you know what?

[C]

Since you got that correct, we'll just. We'll just pretend you guys didn't say that last time.

[B]

Yeah, I really feel like we know the ocean.

[A]

Yeah, we live right Next. Damn.

[C]

Okay, I'm thinking there's a six ocean.

[A]

I'm thinking about it too much. Sorry, Kiefer. You were so right.

[B]

No, it's okay.

[C]

Watch Ms. K get one wrong, and you're like, I'm not trusting you.

[B]

We're diverse here, you know?

[A]

Diverse.

[B]

Yeah, we're like.

[A]

We're two Filipino gay people. This is not much diversity.

[C]

Okay, next question. A story of a real person's life written by another person is called what?

[B]

An autobiography. No, where a person written.

[C]

A story of a real person's life written by another person is called what

[B]

a fiction. A fiction is like a fantasy. Nonfiction is a non fantasy. An autobiography is a story about a person's life.

[A]

Or is that written by another person?

[B]

Yes. Or is that just like a.

[A]

Because what was my. What was my book?

[B]

A story. An autobiography.

[A]

It was an autobiography.

[B]

Yeah, because it was. What is an autobiography?

[A]

Wow. I really cannot think. You make me so confused.

[C]

She brought in fantasy, too. I'm like, oh, okay.

[A]

A biography.

[C]

I'm gonna start putting time now on this.

[B]

Is that like just the writing term for it, or is that what it called for the movies?

[C]

Give you guys 10 seconds to lock in.

[B]

A documentary?

[A]

No, babe, a movie. No, it's a movie. Not writing. It's a story written about somebody's life written by someone else.

[B]

A documentary.

[C]

3.

[A]

What does it start with? Biography.

[B]

Bibliography.

[A]

Bibliography. Bibliography is something else.

[C]

Which one are you locking in? A biography. Biography is correct.

[A]

Oh, my God. I said it earlier. Loki.

[C]

So an autobiography is when you. When you write about yourself.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Oh, okay. So yours was an autobiography.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I was right about that part.

[A]

Okay,

[C]

Keep it to that.

[A]

That part.

[C]

I was right. Okay, last question before you guys.

[A]

I thought that was only four.

[C]

I have one more. Okay. What galaxy do we live in?

[A]

Milky. The Milky Way galaxy.

[C]

Correct.

[A]

Like, no, give us another one. Because that was.

[C]

What is a synonym? That's what I have.

[A]

A synonym is the opposite of an antonym, Right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay, give me the next question.

[C]

That's all I have.

[B]

Wow, that was so witty.

[C]

Witty, Liddy.

[A]

But what is it? Just for the audience, because they want

[C]

to know what's up.

[B]

A synonym, but.

[A]

No, let's say it. Let's just say it out loud for the.

[C]

You say. You're saying for me to say it so that you guys. That you guys can get that answer correct.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

No, I'll just leave it at that.

[A]

We should tell them about it so they're not you guys.

[C]

Because you guys. Because you guys.

[B]

What is the synonym.

[A]

A synonym is the opposite of an antonym. What is a synonym is.

[C]

What is an antonym?

[B]

It's the difference. An antonym is the difference between.

[A]

You want to know so bad.

[C]

Yep. Go ahead, tell everyone.

[A]

That was not the question you said. Why would you me and say. Oh, that was all the question, when it wasn't.

[C]

No, that was all the questions. But you're asking me what. What a synonym is.

[A]

You're still asking me a question.

[B]

So that was a great question. Thank you.

[C]

What is a synonym?

[A]

Right. We'll answer you in third grade.

[B]

I graduated fourth grade.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Are we going?

[A]

It's girl, we really gotta touch it Department.

[B]

Yes, yes, yes.

[A]

Third grade. Third grade. Let's go.

[C]

All right, third grade. Class is in session. We're going to start with math.

[A]

Wait, my favorite math again. What do you remember with third grade, Kiefer?

[B]

Oh, third grade. I love my third grade. I was in Mrs.

[A]

Class. Yeah, well, mine's in. I was in Ms. Ali Maz's class. I love Ms. Ali Maz. And she watches the pod.

[B]

Oh, I didn't know. But mine was Ms. Tamashiro. If we're saying names.

[A]

Good. There's a lot of Tamashiros in the world.

[B]

But she was the daughter of our principal back.

[A]

Oh, yes. She was sweet. She was sweet.

[B]

She was amazing.

[A]

I got lunch with Ms. Alimaza. With Nikki. Really? Like, yeah, last month.

[B]

That's so amazing.

[A]

I was like, wow. I can really just, like, get coffee with my teachers.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I loved her so much. I was like, my little. I. Because I came, like, towards the end of second grade.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I came towards the end, literally, like, the last couple weeks of second grade. So Ms. Ali Mazda was, like, my last. My first full teacher that I had. And she was amazing. Anyways, third grade.

[B]

I love third grade.

[A]

Hit us. Awesome.

[B]

We have incentives every month.

[C]

Okay. We'll start easy. I was gonna do math, but we'll do something easier.

[B]

No, we can do math. I was just questioning, is a dolphin

[C]

okay, a fish or a mammal?

[B]

She's a mammal.

[A]

She's a mammal.

[C]

Okay. Correct.

[A]

She'd be giving birth like that. Yeah. Those are one of my favorite animal documentaries.

[B]

And she's also an air breather. That's why.

[A]

Right? Yeah.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Also.

[C]

Yeah. What's the synonym?

[A]

We studied the difference of different words. But similarity.

[B]

Yeah, a different word, but similarity.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Similarly, a smaller.

[A]

Did you slip that in?

[B]

That's such a hard word. Similarity. You know what always gets me to. Is the simile one.

[A]

Simile?

[C]

The one you just had?

[B]

Yes.

[C]

What is a simile anyways?

[A]

Right.

[C]

What are the vowels in the English Alphabet?

[A]

A, E, I.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Extra point if you can tell me the other vowel.

[B]

There's another one.

[A]

Is it.

[B]

Boys and girls?

[C]

A, E, I, O, U and sometimes. Oh, you guys don't know that. Ro.

[B]

What is that?

[C]

We're gonna. Wait, we're gonna.

[B]

Is it the one with the two?

[C]

I can't tell you. You guys gotta.

[B]

I think it's the one that adds, like, another one.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, you don't know that one, right?

[A]

You don't know that one.

[C]

What did you say?

[B]

And.

[C]

Yeah, I don't know. That is. Why? Is it English?

[A]

Sorry. We were in the Philippines in third grade. Not. I wasn't, but.

[B]

And with the.

[C]

It's. It's part of the Alphabet. It's another letter.

[A]

So.

[C]

A, E, I, O, U. And sometimes.

[A]

Wait.

[B]

A, B, C, D, E, F, G. Is it one of those ng?

[C]

No.

[A]

What is it?

[C]

Just tell me sometimes why you guys never Heard that rule.

[B]

No, it's not a rule.

[A]

That's why.

[C]

Okay, well, you guys still get the

[A]

point for who said that, right?

[B]

Who made that rule?

[C]

You want me to look it up?

[A]

No. Okay, like, fine. Okay.

[C]

I don't care how many ounces in a pint.

[A]

In a pint? 36.

[C]

36.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

39. How many ounces are in a pint? 36 ounces. That's two.

[C]

No.

[B]

What is bigger?

[A]

I don't know. I give up.

[C]

You're gonna give up?

[A]

I think it's 36.

[C]

It's not 36.

[A]

Oh, okay. Okay.

[B]

Is it 32?

[C]

It's not 32.

[B]

Is it higher or lower?

[C]

It's lower.

[A]

16, correct. I don't know.

[C]

That's crazy.

[B]

Is. Is pint bigger than the cup?

[C]

Do you. Yes, it is. I think two cups isn't a plane. Eight cups is a. Eight ounces is a cup, I think.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

You don't measure, girl.

[A]

I don't remember last time.

[B]

I just.

[A]

I only know for just milliliters for my matchas.

[B]

I just go for the taste.

[C]

Okay, this one. Okay. What are the three branches of the US Government?

[A]

Ooh, the three branches. The president.

[B]

No, is it the judicial?

[A]

Judicial.

[C]

Do you want me to say? Correct for each one that you guys say so that you can narrow down?

[A]

Or presidential branches?

[B]

No, presidential, is not it?

[A]

Judicial branch, legislative, legislation.

[C]

Okay, you're two for three. One more.

[B]

So I will say legislative, and you said supreme.

[C]

Well, you said presidential. It's. It's the same president. It's the same people involved, but it's called something else.

[B]

Government.

[A]

I should know this because I had to take the tag. Judicial, legislative and military.

[B]

No, power of the people.

[C]

So legislative is where they make laws. Judicial is where they. The Supreme Court. So they judge. Yeah. So there's a.

[B]

There's a middle government.

[A]

Yeah. They approve the laws. Right.

[C]

I think they. They carry out the laws. Yeah.

[B]

The speaker.

[A]

Because the House. No.

[C]

So you guys have it. I mean presidential, but it's called something else. I guess I'll help. It starts with an E.

[A]

Economic. No, economic, everybody.

[C]

When you follow through. When you follow through with the law, what is it called? Your what?

[A]

Enforcement.

[B]

Enforcement.

[A]

Another enforcement. You mean a simile?

[C]

Do you mean a synonym?

[A]

I know. It was a joke.

[B]

Okay, gotcha.

[A]

Ex.

[B]

Executive.

[C]

Correct.

[A]

Executive.

[B]

I knew that word too.

[A]

I think I said it once upon a time.

[B]

We did, actually.

[A]

Executive branch.

[C]

Executive branch. Correct.

[A]

Why would third graders need to know that? Because I didn't even know.

[B]

I looked it up.

[C]

That's what it Showed me, like, girl can't even vote.

[B]

They cannot.

[A]

I'm like, they should know, though. I'm just saying they should be learning

[B]

this about in, like, middle school where they're actually paying attention.

[C]

Okay, that's true.

[A]

True.

[C]

Because at least they can grow up and they. They understand, like, oh, there are three branches of government.

[A]

I hope Ms. Ali Maz is not watching this. Like, you just said, this is what I taught you. Yeah.

[B]

But no, we came from the Philippines and we came in halfway.

[A]

Yeah. This is not your fault.

[B]

This is first semester.

[A]

Yeah. And it's honestly, like this. Speaking.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Okay, last question.

[B]

I can go back to.

[C]

No, you guys are like. I think three. That's like a. Yeah, I see.

[A]

And we'll take it. We'll pass.

[C]

What is the perimeter of a square if one side is 5 inches?

[A]

If one side is 5 inches, what is that?

[B]

A perimeter of a square.

[C]

So what is the point?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Five times 20 inches.

[B]

Because it's five times four.

[C]

Correct.

[B]

Equal sides.

[A]

We. We passed.

[B]

Yes, we did.

[C]

You guys barely me.

[B]

Gave us to be minus.

[A]

Okay, give us one more question. A bonus question.

[B]

Okay, let me look up for extra credit, sir.

[A]

For extra credit. But keep in mind, we already passed.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Just for, like, a B plus.

[A]

We can't be losing in these streets. I feel like these glasses match this look the most. Did you notice I've been changing?

[B]

No, I haven't. Who is giving?

[C]

Like, how about you give me a subject that you guys feel confident. History.

[B]

Her story.

[A]

Because it's always her story.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

It would never be his story.

[B]

Oh, my God. I was, like, watching this video earlier about, like, bugs and how, like, the female bugs are more dominant when it comes to, like, to. No, when it comes to, like, just mating in general.

[A]

And bugs.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Well, yeah, a lot of, like, the

[B]

spider, they, like, like.

[A]

I think they know what you're talking about.

[B]

They bite them when they're mating. They bite them and then suck all of their blood out of them. And then pray mantis, like, eats their head. Their head while they're mating. And then while she's eating it, the.

[A]

The.

[B]

The pray mantis guy is literally, like. Yeah, still on her or whatever.

[A]

It's crazy.

[B]

Yes. Okay.

[C]

Name the first three US Presidents.

[A]

First three. What was George Washington?

[C]

First three US Presidents.

[A]

George Washington.

[B]

George Washington.

[A]

You should know this, Kiefer. Franklin Roosevelt.

[B]

No, He's like, the 13th, I think.

[A]

I know, I know, I know.

[B]

It's like a short one. Something Adams.

[C]

Okay, I'll give that to you. Yep. That's the Second present. John Adams.

[B]

John Adams.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

And then this guy's kind of famous, too.

[B]

Is he in any money?

[C]

I think so. Let me confirm. I forgot.

[A]

I don't even fucking know nobody.

[C]

Oh, yeah, he is, but it's not something you see a lot of. I just. That's a good.

[B]

Like he's in a two dog down there.

[C]

You want initials? I'm giving you guys all the.

[B]

Yes. Initials.

[A]

T.J. oh.

[B]

Thomas Jefferson.

[C]

Correct. Thomas Jefferson. Tommy boy.

[B]

Thomas Jefferson.

[C]

All right, that was 10 minutes. You guys passed. Oh, my God.

[B]

Really?

[C]

You guys get the extra credit. That'll help boost your score.

[B]

Can you tell me a little bit more about Thomas Jefferson? Person.

[C]

So he wrote the Declaration of Independence.

[B]

I believe the creation of independence.

[C]

He's on a two dollar bill.

[A]

We were right.

[B]

Wow. That was the guess.

[C]

What else do we know about him?

[B]

Is he the one with the horse?

[C]

What do you mean? They all have horses, I think. Let's talk about George Washington on a horse. I don't know.

[A]

Right.

[C]

All right, well, you guys can come back for second grade.

[A]

Second grade. Back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back. Smarter, wiser, better than before, never before seen.

[B]

I feel like my planets are aligning right now.

[C]

Your plan is.

[A]

We have matching glasses.

[B]

Yes. I'm living for these glasses.

[A]

You can have it.

[B]

You guys heard that?

[A]

Period. I feel like you can have that one now. You guys heard that. We should go. Thank you so much, you guys. We have. We're going to a drag show tonight. I'm so excited.

[B]

I was like, we should wear the heels that we.

[A]

You got for us, period. You guys can. Oh, I don't want to wear heels.

[B]

You swear you were gonna wear it one day?

[A]

I'm gonna wear, like, little baby heels.

[C]

Heels.

[A]

Well, today's not the day. Because I would have to literally change my entire outfit. Whose idea was it? Nikki did not say that. Yes. Okay. Period. Fine. I might. Okay. I think about it. I feel like going like this, honestly.

[C]

And I'm just.

[B]

No, it's such a cute outfit.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I would wear it out.

[C]

What about. You should wear that.

[B]

Okay. No, it's not in the. You're not on the theme.

[A]

I know. I said I'm gonna put a leather vest. I mean, a leather jacket over there

[B]

to match the pants.

[A]

Yeah. And then, like, I don't know, wear lace gloves.

[B]

That's so cute.

[A]

Anyways, we're in second grade now.

[C]

Second grade?

[A]

Second grade was when I came to America.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah. The end of it.

[C]

End of America.

[A]

Yeah. When did you come to America Kiefer.

[B]

I was in third grade.

[A]

Oh, Ew. You old ass.

[B]

I'm sorry, but yes.

[A]

Can you believe you're almost 30 this year?

[B]

Wait, are you 30 this year? I'm turning. No, I'm only 27, girl.

[A]

Bye.

[B]

No, I'm 28. You're turning 28 or I'm turning 29 this year? It's such an odd number.

[A]

I like that you're older than me, though, because then I get to bully you for the rest of our lives.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Even though you're only a year older.

[B]

We're like the same age for like,

[A]

a bit the same for like a month and a half. Yes. Anyways, you guys. Second grade. Ozzy. Were you always in America?

[B]

I was in the Philippines.

[C]

I was born. Born and raised in Hawaii.

[B]

Oh, have you been to the Philippines?

[C]

I feel like we talked about this. Yeah, I went when I was like.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Okay.

[A]

You know what I remember about second grade was.

[C]

Your song

[A]

that. Okay, Song eight.

[B]

I like that song. There was a. That's a whole ass dance.

[A]

Yeah. Do you remember the fight between Evie Babes versus and sex mom dancers?

[B]

Yes. And I was watching Vice's vlog recently about that.

[A]

What? I need to watch this.

[B]

They were just kind of like having a sit down and interviewing. And then so it was because of, like, the whole, like, manager and like, the bosses of, like, interfering. And then they were like, one day they were like, don't go to work. And so they just disappeared and then got replaced.

[A]

Oh, you ate that. Let's do a question.

[B]

They're so funny, though.

[A]

We should unpack that. Yes, we should unpack that. On another.

[B]

This girl sex bomb.

[A]

When you had to do splits and our whole family would make us do splits every.

[B]

Do you know remember who your favorite dancer was?

[A]

No. Marjorie.

[B]

Yeah, Marjorie. I remember Marjorie.

[C]

All right, question number one. What is the largest. What is the largest planet in our solar system? But what is the largest planet in our solar system?

[A]

The Saturn. Oh, the planet. That's not a planet.

[B]

That is.

[A]

That's a star.

[B]

Oh, it is not.

[C]

This again.

[A]

A Saturn.

[B]

Is that the one with the rings?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Locking in.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

All right. That is incorrect.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

I told you.

[C]

What the. Is it Jupiter?

[A]

Oh, who's Jupiter? Wait, can we go back?

[B]

Yeah. Can you say that question one more time?

[C]

No, we can't. Sorry, guys. We gotta move on.

[A]

Okay? Let's stop being silly.

[C]

Lock in second grade.

[A]

Yeah, lock in. That was some silly. That was too silly.

[C]

What direction is opposite of northeast?

[A]

Northeast. If north east the opposite direction.

[B]

South is southeast.

[A]

It would be this way. It would be going this way. North, south, east, west. If that was that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So it'd be going this way. North, east, northwest.

[C]

So the opposite of northeast.

[A]

Oh, wait. No, no, no.

[C]

The room is fitting.

[B]

What is the opposite of north?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Southwest, west, south, Southeast. No, because northwest, it would just be.

[B]

The opposite is south.

[C]

Okay. For the sake of time. Yes, you are correct. It's southwest.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

No, because it's going this way.

[C]

So northeast.

[A]

It's going that way and it's southwest going this.

[B]

The opposite.

[A]

Right. Thank you.

[B]

No, Yeah, I was.

[A]

Yeah, you were leading me to the right answer. Exactly. You wanted me to fight for it. Yes, exactly. I was like.

[B]

I was like.

[A]

It is.

[B]

I was like. I needed to make sure that he knows. He's, like, good to go.

[A]

Like, don't do it. Second question. Yeah. This. Hi.

[C]

How many sides does a pentagon have? Pentagon.

[B]

Eight.

[A]

Pentagon. Yeah. One, two.

[B]

What is a stop sign?

[A]

Octagon. That's a octagon. That's.

[B]

Oh, so no pen.

[C]

10.

[B]

So 10.

[A]

10. They're gone.

[B]

Nine.

[A]

I think it's nine. Is it nine?

[B]

Octagon is eight.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

There's number seven.

[C]

Do you know what seven is?

[B]

No.

[A]

Nanogon.

[C]

No, that's nine.

[A]

Demogorgon.

[B]

Pentagon is ten.

[A]

It is. It is.

[B]

He just come from with the nine.

[A]

Okay. One or seven? How many sides in ten?

[B]

Seven

[A]

sides. What is sides? It's both sides. That's the answer. Both sides. How many sides?

[B]

How did you get both sides?

[A]

Inside and outside.

[B]

How many sides are inside and outside?

[C]

2.

[B]

So there's four.

[C]

What?

[A]

Yeah, exactly.

[B]

Pentagon.

[A]

Say you're stuck inside the pentagon. Hexagon.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

How many sides do you have? I just have inside and outside.

[C]

Okay, so what number. How many. How many sides?

[A]

We went.

[C]

We're gonna say 10 is incorrect.

[B]

I told you. It's four. What the.

[A]

Is it.

[B]

What is it?

[C]

Wait. Yeah, it's five.

[B]

Pant.

[C]

Four sides is a square or a rectangle. Then six is hexagon.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Seven is hept.

[A]

Next question.

[B]

Already.

[A]

Next question.

[B]

I think I was absent that day. Yeah.

[A]

We have to get the next two right.

[B]

We had to get the shots that day.

[A]

Yeah, I think. I'm pretty sure I had cavities that day. We learned about that. Yeah.

[C]

What is the name of the imaginary line that cuts the earth into northern and southern halves?

[A]

What?

[B]

Wait, hold on. I know this.

[C]

What is the name of the imaginary line that cuts the earth into northern and southern halves?

[B]

Is it equator?

[A]

Equator line.

[B]

Yes. Well, are we talking about this way or this way?

[A]

What the.

[C]

So northern and southern halves.

[B]

So we're going this way. So this.

[C]

No cuts. So when it cuts it in half.

[A]

Right.

[C]

There's a north and a south. So what direction does that do?

[B]

Up and down.

[C]

Where does it cut so that you have up and down halves in half? Okay. It's the line that goes this way.

[B]

That's the equator.

[C]

Correct. Equator.

[A]

He made you work for that. Oh.

[B]

Oh. So I was right.

[C]

Yeah, you're right.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, wow. Okay, we have to get the next question right to pass.

[C]

Yeah. Oh, well.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Yes, you do. All right. What is the name of the process when a caterpillar turns into a bug?

[A]

Metamorphosis.

[B]

Metamorphosis.

[C]

Metamorphosis is correct.

[A]

I can't believe we did it.

[C]

You guys barely passed the second grade.

[A]

We barely passed the last. Barely. It's crazy.

[B]

How many questions was that?

[A]

Well, ask another question since we're so good.

[C]

I only had five questions. What's the name of a ten sided polygon pentagon Decagon. Correct.

[A]

I don't know.

[C]

How many years in a decade?

[A]

Decade.

[B]

12.

[A]

10.

[C]

Yeah. So that's where you get deck from deca.

[B]

You're like.

[A]

You have to include the leap.

[B]

So what did he ask?

[A]

A decade. A decade is not a decade.

[B]

Sorry. Okay.

[C]

All right. Last grade, you guys take one more hit.

[B]

That's not.

[C]

I'm sorry. Touch up. That was. Well, no, that was not 10 minutes.

[A]

I really gotta touch up. Like I keep forgetting.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, my God. Guess what time it is.

[B]

What up time,

[C]

Mr. T. Missed it

[A]

just a little bit. We're back. Ready for first grade and to graduate and finish this.

[C]

All right, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to are you smarter than a first grader? We're hoping our contestants today can pass with flying colors. We do have six questions on the board.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Are you ready?

[A]

Never been so ready in my life. Honestly, this is the most ready I've ever been.

[C]

How many pennies make up a dime?

[B]

Huh?

[C]

How many pennies make up a dime?

[B]

A dime is the 5 cents, right? No, that's the nickel.

[A]

10.

[B]

A dime is a small 10. So a 10.

[C]

So 10 pennies make up a dime?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Correct.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I've never doubted myself.

[B]

I hate that. Nickel and a dime. They should switch name.

[A]

Yeah. Nickel does give dime dime energy.

[C]

Speaking of nickels and dimes, if you have two dimes and three nickels, how much money would you have? Two dimes, three nickels.

[A]

35. Two dimes. We just went through this. A dime is 10. Oh, 20. Nickel is 5. So 35.

[C]

Locking in 35.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Correct.

[A]

Sorry.

[B]

See, it gets confusing.

[C]

All right, next question.

[A]

When confusion same.

[C]

How many syllables are in the word hippopotamus?

[A]

Syllables.

[C]

How many?

[A]

How many? There's two.

[C]

I n. Okay, let me repeat the question.

[A]

Hippopotamus.

[C]

How many syllables are in the word hippopotamus?

[A]

Syllables.

[C]

Syllables. Not the simile. Synonym. And now.

[A]

Five. I think five.

[C]

Five syllables.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Five syllables is correct.

[A]

You guys have me worried without you.

[C]

All right, so we got. We're three for three right now. We got three more questions, right? What do you call a group of lions?

[B]

Exactly that?

[C]

Pride is correct.

[A]

Yeah, well, yes. All right.

[C]

We are four for four. We got two more questions.

[A]

We can get these wrong and still pass correct.

[C]

But you want to show off for everybody and say you got everything correct.

[B]

We did.

[C]

So next question number five.

[A]

One wrong. I don't know what you're talking about.

[C]

How many Months have exactly 30 days, girl.

[B]

How many months, huh?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Exactly 30 days.

[B]

Wait, what did he say?

[C]

How many months have exactly 30 days?

[B]

11.

[A]

How? No.

[B]

Have exactly 30 days. 11 months out of the 12.

[A]

Exactly. Only 30, right?

[B]

Yes. February never goes to 30 because he only has to 28 to 20. Yes, 22.

[A]

But July is 31.

[B]

Yes. And all of them has 30.

[A]

No, he's saying only ends at 30. Right?

[C]

Exactly 30.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. Oh, so how many months. Not.

[C]

Not. How many months have 30 days? How many months have exactly.

[A]

I think it's four.

[B]

Can I look at the calendar?

[A]

No, I think it's three or four. Wait, hold on.

[B]

Okay, so August has 31. I mean, no. January has 31.

[A]

February. No, 28. 28.

[C]

March.

[A]

March has 31.

[B]

31.

[A]

No, 31.

[B]

31.

[A]

He would know it's his birthday.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

May has 20. 30.

[A]

Yeah, I think it's four.

[B]

June has 31.

[A]

Or six.

[B]

July.

[C]

So 12 minus carried a two.

[A]

I think it's five.

[B]

Four.

[C]

Which. Which one?

[A]

Five.

[C]

Five is incorrect. It is four.

[A]

I said four. I was saying four earlier. I was saying. But you locked in five, so I hate myself.

[B]

I have.

[A]

I've been saying four.

[C]

I know.

[A]

You made us think about it.

[C]

Ms. K said four. But you said locking five, so, okay, so it's April, June, September, November.

[A]

Them months.

[C]

All right, last question. Hopefully you guys get this correct. What is heavier, a pound of bricks or a pound of feathers?

[A]

They're the same.

[B]

A pound of. Pound of.

[A]

Hell, you don't think you would get me.

[B]

Oh, yeah, I seen a lot of videos. Get me one Pound of each.

[A]

They're both a pound.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So what's your answer?

[A]

Neither.

[B]

Equality.

[C]

Correct. Neither. They're both a pound.

[A]

Right. With one wrong answer.

[C]

Damn.

[A]

Which was.

[C]

Okay, you guys can redeem yourselves. If you guys can tell me what is a synonym.

[A]

Is a word. Is two words that.

[B]

That has the same meaning but different words.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, Similar meaning, different words. Correct. All right, well, you guys passed first grade then with that answer.

[A]

Getting ready for a second, that's kind

[B]

of like nerve wracking.

[C]

That was all the questions we have for today.

[A]

Well, Ms. K, where can the girlies find you?

[B]

At the baddest radio.

[A]

And here's me at the baddest radio. You found us. We'll see you next Tuesday, Thursday or Friday. Whenever we feel like.

[B]

Whatever Brett feels like.

[A]

And I guess. Ozzy, would you like to sing us out?

[C]

Sure.

[B]

Can we request a song?

[A]

Sure.

[C]

Please request.

[A]

Because then I hire by Rihanna.

[C]

Yeah, well, a song that I. I don't know.

[B]

You make me.

[C]

You sing us out.

[B]

That one.

[A]

No.

[B]

This is your audition for the masked singer. I'm telling you guys, he can sing.

[A]

I cannot.

[B]

This is like another proof of you singing.

[C]

Okay, you know what you can't do? You can't beat me in badminton, though. We're still.

[A]

I will be ordering some badminton sets, so come early next Friday. Ozzy, I can't.

[C]

I told you, I have a gig.

[A]

Well, you're still coming true.

[C]

You're my pretty little ehu girl hey, who made me a fool in love? You got my talent and now it needs cooling off. Cause you're my heart on fire. Yeah. Thanks, guys. These guys are lit. I'm sorry. I apologize.

[B]

Period.

[A]

You ate that. Thank you. Bye, Beach. I'll see you next Thursday. Yeah. Don't forget to follow rate and like you can follow me bretmanrock on everything and follow the podcast at the baddest radio on all social media. Bye, Beach.

[D]

Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.