DaBaddest Radio – "Are We Smarter Than A Fifth Grader?"

Release Date: March 5, 2026
Host: Bretman Rock (with Ms. K and Ozzy)
Podcast Network: Dear Media

Episode Overview

In this lively, confidence-boosting episode, Bretman Rock, joined by his bestie Ms. K and friend Ozzy, puts their brains (and their ability to operate under “recreational” conditions) to the test with a round of “Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?” The group gamely answers trivia questions from fifth grade all the way down to first grade, with playful banter, infectious laughter, and plenty of signature DaBaddest energy. The trio’s hilarious attempts at grade school questions, fashion commentary, and joyful chaos make for a wildly entertaining listen.

Key Discussion Points & Highlights

1. Opening Vibes: Favorite Days and Fashion Commentary

[00:01–04:00]

• The crew opens chatting about their favorite days of the week, landing on Friday because it's “that girl.”
• Fashion check: Bretman boasts his Willy Chavarria fit, proclaiming he’s in his “Chicano era, in my Filipino primo era.”
• Ms. K picks a gem from Bretman’s “giveaway pile” with a cock fighter motif, and both compare hats (“big BOGO energy”).
• Ms. K shares her custom “hydration kit” drink: “blueberry banana with a hit of white peach.”
  Memorable quote:
  “I am literally in my Chicano era, in my Filipino primo era.” — Bretman [01:48]

2. Game Introduction: Trivia & “Litty”

[04:00–07:54]

• No usual segments: “We’re skipping the tea today because we are getting into the nitty-gritty.”
• Ozzy sets the rules: For each trivia “hit,” they answer grade-based questions, starting from 5th down to 1st; each set of questions is followed by another “recreational activity.”
• The mood is celebratory and goofy as they settle in—jokes about being “lady gr” and “buzz lit ear.”
  Memorable banter:
  “This is one hit in. I’m so sorry for anybody that has to listen to this.” — Bretman [09:26]

3. Fifth Grade Trivia Round

[09:37–20:25]

• Sample Questions & Answers:
  • First three digits of Pi ("3.14" – correct) [10:36–10:38]
  • Value of Roman numeral L (“100” – incorrect; it’s 50) [11:14–11:32]
  • What is a simile? (Mistaken for synonym; corrected by Ozzy—simile: comparison using 'like' or 'as') [13:04–13:49]
  • PEMDAS (Order of operations—nailed it after some struggle) [14:34–15:15]
  • What’s the point (0,0) on a graph called? (Origin; needed a clue) [15:24–16:37]
  • Scientist who studies weather? (Eventually: Meteorologist) [17:05–18:06]

Quote:
“Simile is when, so it’s a comparison using the words like or as. What you guys are thinking of is synonym.” — Ozzy [13:36]

Moment:
When they struggle with “simile” vs “synonym,” they break into laughter and plead for leniency because, as Bretman says, “Can you guys really emphasize that we're lit and we're nervous with all these bright lights?” [14:05]

4. Fourth Grade Trivia

[20:53–30:08]

• Sample Questions:
  • Three states of matter (solid, liquid, gas – correct) [21:23–21:29]
  • Legs on a spider (eight – correct, after some back-and-forth) [22:20–22:53]
  • Largest ocean (debate between Pacific & Atlantic; lock in Atlantic, but it was Pacific) [23:16–25:22]
  • A story of a real person written by another—biography (get there eventually) [26:32–28:01]
  • Galaxy we live in? (Milky Way – correct) [28:25–28:34]

Quote:
"Pacific. Atlantic sounds more big. Pacific. Atlantic. Kiefer. Atlantic sounds huge." — Bretman [23:47]

Moment:
Their ocean confusion and banter about “Ariel’s sisters” and whether the “oceanic ocean” exists is peak DaBaddest comedy [24:20–25:05].

5. Third Grade Trivia

[30:21–41:04]

• Sample Questions:
  • Is a dolphin a fish or a mammal? (Mammal—correct) [31:42–31:46]
  • Vowels in English alphabet (A, E, I, O, U—almost forget “sometimes Y”) [32:28–33:44]
  • How many ounces in a pint? (Painfully struggle; it’s 16) [33:55–34:27]
  • Three branches of US government (Judicial, Legislative, Executive—get there with help) [35:03–36:39]
  • Perimeter of a square with 5-inch sides (20 inches—correct) [37:46–38:02]
  • Bonus: First three US presidents (with clues: George Washington, John Adams, Thomas Jefferson) [39:26–40:32]

Quote:
"Why would third graders need to know that? Because I didn’t even know." — Bretman (on branches of govt.) [36:49]

Memorable:
Ms. K's commentary about powerful female bugs, referencing how “a female praying mantis eats the male’s head while mating,” spirals into comic gold [38:42–39:17].

6. Second Grade Trivia

[41:05–51:28]

• Sample Questions:
  • Largest planet in solar system (say Saturn, but it’s Jupiter) [45:32–45:51]
  • Opposite of northeast (southwest—get there with reasoning) [46:07–47:02]
  • Sides in a pentagon (fluctuate wildly, finally land on five) [47:34–49:12]
  • Imaginary line dividing Earth north/south (equator—correct) [49:35–50:18]
  • Caterpillar becomes a butterfly (metamorphosis—correct) [50:34–50:43]
  • Bonus: Name for a 10-sided polygon (decagon) & years in a decade (10) [50:56–51:09]

7. First Grade Trivia & Graduating

[52:03–57:39]

• Sample Questions:
  • How many pennies in a dime? (10 – correct) [52:21–52:36]
  • Two dimes + three nickels? (35 cents – correct) [52:44–53:10]
  • Syllables in “hippopotamus” (five – correct after much laughter) [53:18–53:58]
  • Group of lions? (Pride – correct) [54:05–54:18]
  • How many months have exactly 30 days? (They say five, it's four: April, June, September, November) [54:35–56:10]
  • What’s heavier: pound of bricks or feathers? (They’re the same) [56:34–57:01]
  • Redemption: Definition of synonym (correctly answer: two words with the same meaning) [57:08–57:24]

Quote:
"How many syllables are in the word hippopotamus?" — Ozzy
"Five! … You guys have me worried without you."
— [53:34–54:01]

Notable Quotes & Moments

• On forgetting basics:
  “Who the f*** knows about simile? Fifth graders.” — Ozzy [14:19]

• On “executive” branch:
  “I think I said it once upon a time.” — Bretman [36:44]

• On being stumped by ounces in a pint:
  “I only know for just milliliters for my matchas.” — Bretman [34:51]

• On their process:
  “We can get these wrong and still pass, correct?” — Bretman [54:23]

Funniest and Most “DaBaddest” Interludes

• Recurring jokes about changing hats and outfits, Bretman’s “Chicano/Filipino primo” energy, and Ms. K’s ever-changing glasses and headwear [01:48, 20:18, 38:20].
• The cast roasting themselves for “barely passing” each grade, with supportive but honest grading by Ozzy.
• Detours into Filipino dance crews, childhood school memories, age-banter, and drag show outfit planning.
• The final segment unites comedy and camaraderie: singing, a badminton challenge, and a cheeky sign-off.

Timestamps for Important Segments

• Favorite day/fashion/kindergarten-era: [00:01–04:00]
• Game setup/explanation: [04:00–07:54]
• Fifth grade round: [09:37–20:25]
• Fourth grade round: [20:53–30:08]
• Third grade round: [30:21–41:04]
• Second grade round: [41:05–51:28]
• First grade/final round: [52:03–57:39]
• Sign-off/farewell: [57:39–59:47]

Overall Tone & Takeaway

Bretman, Ms. K, and Ozzy deliver exactly what the DaBaddest Radio promises—confidence, laughter, and a refusal to take themselves too seriously. The grade-school quiz journey showcases their dynamic and energy, with a fun-loving atmosphere that makes listeners feel invited into the group. Between humorous mix-ups (“bibliography” for “biography,” “pentagon” math woes, simile vs synonym confusion) and their encouraging attitude, the show closes with a sense that being “the baddest” means having fun, owning your mistakes, and celebrating every small win.

If you want a taste of DaBaddest wit, a shot of self-love, and a reminder not to sweat the small stuff, this episode is a must-listen.