Season 2 | Ep. 21 | The Last Laugh

Summary

Dark Dice – Season 2, Episode 21: "The Last Laugh"

Release Date: August 13, 2025

---

Episode Overview

In the penultimate episode of Season 2 of Dark Dice, titled "The Last Laugh," Soren's team faces escalating tensions and dark revelations as they inch closer to their ultimate confrontation. This episode serves as the final lighthearted chapter before the narrative plunges back into horror, setting the stage for the blood-soaked finale.

---

Setting the Stage

Travis Vengroff opens the episode by welcoming listeners back after a brief hiatus. He outlines plans for releasing episodes biweekly, aiming to conclude the season by December. Notably, he announces upcoming live shows and playtesting sessions, engaging the community and inviting participation.

"Let's prepare for the final four episodes for Soren's team before we turn to Rowena and Sindri to wrap up the final loose ends."
— Travis Vengroff [00:01]

---

The Team's Split and Initial Tensions

The adventurers—Sorin, Ildryx, Glam, and Gael—return to the city of Aden after a disheartening interaction with the corrupt Captain Rennus. Sorin arranges a clandestine meeting in the graveyard to uncover deeper conspiracies.

Shawn Howard expresses concern about the plan:

"Sorry, are we all going to the graveyard or was that just a Soren invite?"
— Shawn Howard [04:37]

Sorin clarifies his intent to gather information covertly:

"My motivation at this point is purely just to see if he'll tell us what sort of dark things he's involved with..."
— Peter Lewis as Sorin [04:44]

The team decides to split up to cover more ground, each member taking on specific tasks to advance their investigation.

---

Meeting Captain Rennus

In a tense encounter, Sorin meets with Captain Rennes in the Audyn's Grand Graveyard. The captain reveals the cult's desperate need for more substantial blood sources to consecrate their temple, hinting at darker and more powerful sacrifices.

"We need something else. Something substantial. Perhaps magic users or a powerful monster. Or a priest."
— Captain Rennes [08:14]

This revelation deepens the mystery and raises the stakes for the team, compelling them to take decisive action against the cult's heinous plans.

---

Gathering Allies and Planning the Ambush

Back at their lodgings, the team discusses the implications of their findings with Officer Syne. They decide to target the Chapel of the Sun to prevent the impending ritual.

Peter Lewis as Sorin shares his deceptions to gain RENNUS's trust:

"It just felt so nice to be respected. For a few moments, I let it go to my head."
— Peter Lewis as Sorin [12:09]

The team strategizes to ambush the cultists during the midnight ritual, planning to utilize the city's defenses and gather evidence to expose the corruption.

---

Interaction with Father Dormund

The team visits the Chapel of the Sun to seek assistance from Father Dormund, the sole priest of Celagon in the city. Their conversation reveals the fragile state of the church and highlights the dangers Father Dormund faces from the cult.

"We have to disguise you to get past the checkpoints. I think there's an entertainer's wagon still around that belonged to a somewhat famous jester."
— Holly Billinghurst [41:53]

This interaction solidifies Father Dormund's role as a potential ally, despite the complexities and risks involved.

---

Execution of the Ambush

At midnight, the team sets their plan into motion. As Captain Rennes and his hooded guards approach the chapel, the adventurers spring into action from their concealed positions within the pews.

Glom initiates the attack with a surprise strike:

"So 20. Not natural."
— Peter Lewis as Sorin [34:02]

The ensuing battle is intense, showcasing each team member's prowess:

• Glen employs magic to block escape routes, providing tactical advantages.
• Ildrix protects Father Dormund with swift and lethal strikes.
• Steiny and Officer Syne engage the guards, demonstrating teamwork and combat efficiency.

Despite their efforts, casualties occur, highlighting the brutal reality of their mission.

---

Aftermath and Strategic Decisions

With the immediate threat neutralized, the team assesses the situation. They capture Captain Rennes, intending to extract valuable information about the cult's operations.

"We can't leave the priest to get murdered. And if we can stop a blood ritual, that will be the first positive thing we've accomplished since we started journeying together."
— Peter Lewis as Sorin [13:23]

Recognizing the ongoing dangers, the team decides to safeguard Father Dormund and plans their departure from Aden. They opt to traverse the city's tunnels, aiming to reach Westman's Hold in the Frost Iron Mountains for safety.

"So as we'll we'll be leaving the city through the tunnels. I can get us out on the north side or the east side. Do you have a preference?"
— Russ Gold as Father Dormund [43:20]

---

Key Quotes

• Travis Vengroff:

  "It is my intention to release an episode of this podcast every two weeks until we've reached the story's conclusion."
  [00:01]

• Peter Lewis as Sorin:

  "I know of few code phrases we can use to find out if someone is with the cult."
  [12:09]

• Holly Billinghurst:

  "I believe we may have misguidedly endangered the life of a priest."
  [21:25]

• Ru:

  "We need to disguise you to get past the checkpoints."
  [41:53]

---

Conclusion and Looking Forward

"The Last Laugh" masterfully balances moments of levity with escalating tension, deepening character relationships, and advancing the overarching narrative. As the team prepares to leave Aden, alliances are forged, and the impending horrors loom larger. This episode sets the stage for the climactic finale, promising a descent into true horror as the adventurers confront the darkest corners of their fantasy world.

Travis Vengroff closes the episode by reinforcing the stakes and hinting at the challenges ahead:

"This episode marks the final lighthearted chapter before we descend back into some true horror for the rest of the season."
— Travis Vengroff [00:01]

Listeners are left eagerly anticipating the next installment, where the culmination of Season 2's intense journey will unfold.

---

Stay tuned for the blood-soaked finale of Season 2 of Dark Dice, where courage, betrayal, and the unknown will determine the fate of our heroes.

Transcript

[Travis Vengroff]

Greetings adventurers. We welcome you back to season two of Dark Dice and it is good to have you back. It's been some time and after our brief break we are finally back to make the big push that will bring the story to its conclusion. We are nearing the final episodes for Soren's team and before you prepare for laughs and games, this episode marks the final light hearted chapter before we descend back into some true horror for the rest of the season, all the way through to our blood soaked finale. It is my intention to release an episode of this podcast every two weeks until we've reached the story's conclusion. If December rolls around before we hit this goal, we'll take a super brief break, but otherwise, there you have it. Let's prepare for the final four episodes for Soren's team before we turn to Rowena and Sindri to wrap up the final loose ends. Actually, we have two quick updates. Very, very brief. First, we'll be doing a live show at the Worlds Lair event in London on August 27. David Alt, the Voice of Hyacinth Keep Jasper William Cartwright, Ajay Ogun Hen Brewster, Rowena Granite pike will be on stage with us and I even hear that Athor, the Voice of Injury might even be hanging out with us. So please stop by if you're in London that day. Additionally, Stats and I will be co dming a table at D and D in a castle next year in March, we're going to be playtesting a future adventure that we have planned for Dark Dice and one of those playtesters could be you. A link is in the show notes.

[Holly Billinghurst]

This podcast you're listening to. It was once just a dream. A dream that became reality not by accident, but because someone decided not to let the what ifs keep them from creating something they believed in. Starting your own business is a dream lots of us share, but too many let it remain just a dream. Don't hold yourself back from creating what you believe in and turn those what ifs into why nots with Shopify by your side. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10% of all e commerce in the US from household names like Mattel and Gymshark to brands just getting started. What if I can't design a website? Shopify's got you with beautiful, ready to go templates to match your brand's style. What if I need a hand? Get help with everyday tasks like enhancing product images, writing product descriptions, or generating discount codes with Shopify's AI tools created for commerce. What if people haven't heard about my brand? Shopify helps you find your customers with easy to run email and social media campaigns. And what if I get stuck? Shopify's always around to share advice with their award winning 24. 7 customer support. So turn those dreams into and give them the best shot at success with Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com realm go to shopify.com realm shopify.com realm.

[Peter Lewis]

Hear the most popular fiction podcast of all time, which the New York Times described as what might occur if David lynch was a producer at your local radio station. Welcome to Night Vale is a twice monthly update from a small desert town where the paranormal is real, Every conspiracy theory is true. We all have to get on with our lives. Anyway, welcome to Night Vale is available wherever you get your podcasts.

[Russ Gold]

Do you seek Him?

[Holly Billinghurst]

Do you seek Him?

[Peter Lewis]

Do you seek Him? Do you do you seek Him?

[Russ Gold]

Do you seek the nameless God?

[Travis Vengroff]

You have found yourself among those who roll the Dark dice What you are about to hear happened long ago, a story brought back from the edge of oblivion, dutifully transcribed and enhanced orally to better captivate your attention. Previously, a team of adventurers reached the city of Aden, blindly searching for a conspiracy. After too many drinks in a tavern, they uncovered one, and little did they know that their lives were about to be changed forever. Dark Dice the long road Chapter 21 the Last Laugh in the city of Aden, Sorin, Ildryx, Glam and Gael walked down the road back the way they came. After a discussion with the corrupt Captain Rennus, where Sorin arranged a private meeting in a graveyard, they huddled close to figure out their next steps.

[Shawn Howard]

Sorry, are we all going to the graveyard or was that just a Soren invite?

[Peter Lewis]

We certainly can. I did tell him it would just be a private conversation, but if you guys want to either just be right there or in the background, that's fine. Now, were you trying to get him alone to jump him about the thing in the house? I don't understand. Or are we? I'm so lost. I was trying to get him alone. My motivation at this point is purely just to see if he'll tell us what sort of dark things he's involved with, as he did seem to react appropriately to my secret cult catching phrase and maybe find out what he thinks I did in a temple here a few months ago. So if there is anything we can get out of him, let's go for it.

[Holly Billinghurst]

But in which case I Think we. Yeah, we can trust you. You can speak to him alone. Maybe we can find some lodgings while you do that.

[Shawn Howard]

We already found lodgings and paid for them. I'm gonna talk to swami23 and tell her we might not be able to find her brother right now.

[Peter Lewis]

Sorin, do you want backup? Cause I can go with you and Gale can go with Ildryx.

[Holly Billinghurst]

I think you'll be of more use to us, brother.

[Peter Lewis]

Whatever's easiest is fine. I don't mind meeting with him alone. And I can try to just keep a lid on things and get some information and meet back up with you at the place of worship. Okay. The secret word is stewed porcupine. Got it. Just to clarify, we've. We've changed it from pineapple. Yes.

[Shawn Howard]

Yes.

[Peter Lewis]

Okay. Yes, now I got it. Oh, I have to tell Gill too.

[Holly Billinghurst]

I heard you the first two times.

[Travis Vengroff]

And thus the team split up. Sorin skulking toward the graveyard, the rest of the team heading back towards Swamilaskarakal Vereve St. Saul the 23rd, who was presumably still waiting for them in her hiding spot. They had little difficulty finding her a few minutes later.

[Peter Lewis]

Who are. Oh, is that a disguise?

[Shawn Howard]

Yes.

[Peter Lewis]

Where's Pedro?

[Shawn Howard]

We don't talk about Pedro.

[Peter Lewis]

Oh, no. Okay, so. So what did you find out?

[Shawn Howard]

They told us that your brother and his husband left their. Their dwelling vacated for 15 days. And after that it is standard practice to empty the house and leave all the possessions on the street.

[Peter Lewis]

No.

[Shawn Howard]

Yes. They did not know where they might have gone. At least they didn't tell us that. Right.

[Peter Lewis]

I'll have to check with the pawnbrokers.

[Shawn Howard]

Tensons Rhaegars met.

[Peter Lewis]

Thank you. I really appreciate your help, but I need to run if I'm going to get to them before they close.

[Travis Vengroff]

The gnome passed. Ildrix. Five gold for a quest completed.

[Shawn Howard]

Thank you. Wish. I hope you. I hope you find your brother.

[Peter Lewis]

And I hope you have.

[Shawn Howard]

Well, a safe journey.

[Travis Vengroff]

On the other side of the temple quarter, Sorin waited under the awning of a mausoleum within the well maintained grounds of Audyn's Grand Graveyard. As time passed, it began to snow heavier, and Sorin found himself examining the box and spyglass he'd received earlier that day, briefly making distinct eye contact with a long haired halfling covered in tattoos who passed near the edge of the graveyard's lower levels. A few minutes later, the man from earlier, Captain Rennes, arrived notably early. Both men faced their backs to the mausoleum to stare out at the grounds below them, stretching out on different Levels like a massive earthen cigar. After a few moments of silence, both men felt confident that they had not been followed.

[Peter Lewis]

Captain Rennis. Thank you for meeting me. You mentioned that there might be another matter I can help with. Yes. I spoke with Genevieve on the way here and she confirmed your identity. As grateful as we already are to you, it seems that we need to call to you again for aid. We need more blood for the consecration. Of course you do. Those peasants you've been using haven't gotten you the results you were hoping for. How did you know? If you're going to ask for help? Continue your explanation. Yes, yes. The scaleskin, that gnome, the darklanders. None of them seem to be enough. It's like filling a sifter with water. We need something else. Something substantial. And the more we've researched, the more we're thinking that we need a different kind of blood. Perhaps magic users or a powerful monster. Or a priest. What? You need a priest. Someone holy in the eyes of others and valued in the eyes of the gods. I recommend a follower of Celagon. Since no one seems to care about their lot here in Orden. That's logical, but certainly a challenge as the last remaining one is a well known figure. How do you propose we do this without attracting notice? Oh, leave that to me. And send your best men to the Chapel of the sun at midnight tonight. It shall be done. Thank you for your assistance. One more thing. Make sure that you're most loyal and most fearful faithful are present. I want them to see this firsthand. Of course. I have much to prepare for tonight. Shifting guard routines and such. Was there anything else? No.

[Travis Vengroff]

Captain Rennes hardly looked up from his feet as he departed, nervous and sweating despite the cold.

[Peter Lewis]

Alright. I will wait for him to leave and then rejoin the others.

[Travis Vengroff]

Sorin met up with a team who were eating an early dinner. A hearty meal at thy place of finally.

[Shawn Howard]

My friend here is starving. Thank you very much for that.

[Travis Vengroff]

Only the best for my patrons.

[Peter Lewis]

Cooked goose?

[Travis Vengroff]

Geese are fierce beasts.

[Russ Gold]

Chimera, created by the most sadistic of the Titans. Two thirds bird, one third serpent. They are very difficult to slay, but thankfully simple enough to cook.

[Shawn Howard]

Thank you. I probably would have removed my costume once we arrived back in the place of worship.

[Travis Vengroff]

Soren arrived around the time the teen was midway through their first goose.

[Peter Lewis]

I leave for an hour and you all dig into the goose without me. I see how it is. It's really good.

[Shawn Howard]

It's very delicious. Feltitch, we might need another goose here.

[Peter Lewis]

Yeah, one more goose for Our friend Soreness.

[Travis Vengroff]

Before he even sat down, the serving boy brought another goose for Soren.

[Holly Billinghurst]

Here, Mr. Lovely Soren, you should. You should really try this. Now, tell us, how did. How did your meeting go?

[Peter Lewis]

Well, went about as we expected. Much to my regret, I lower my voice considerably and lean over the goose conspiratorially. Seems there may be a sect of the Silent Clan here. The those here who worship the Nameless God. It seems that they're trying to use blood or life essence to consecrate a temple or something. A few of the city guard are involved.

[Holly Billinghurst]

How do we know who we can trust?

[Peter Lewis]

That's a very good question. And now I'm kind of wishing I'd asked a few more questions instead of acting like I knew everything. It just felt so nice to be respected. For a few moments, I let it go to my head. I mean, I was so focused on gaining his trust. And once he seemed to believe that I am who he thinks I am, I asked him to bring his most loyal followers to the Church of Celagon tonight at around midnight to kidnap the priest there. To answer your question, I know of few code phrases we can use to find out if someone is with the cult. Sort of conversation starters without burying the hatchet in someone's neck.

[Shawn Howard]

Yeah, well, that doesn't sound great. Like, I appreciate finding information, but now more people are in danger. Did you at least confirm where Swami's brother and husband went?

[Peter Lewis]

I am not sure if they are. The implication was that they were both already captured and sacrificed some months ago. I feel pretty confident that they're gone.

[Shawn Howard]

Okay, well, what do we wish to do at this point? We can't leave the priest to get murdered. And if we can stop a blood ritual, that will be the first positive thing we've accomplished since we started journeying together.

[Peter Lewis]

Aside from giving that kid a nice birthday party. Let's not forget about that.

[Shawn Howard]

Besides giving Squabbin a nice birthday.

[Peter Lewis]

So giving it some thought, I think Officer Syne really wanted to find the missing people and could perhaps vouch for us that way. If we do something terribly illegal like, say, juggle some swords into corrupt city guards, that we at least have some representative from the city to say that we aren't just murder hobos. I'm not sure if we could find the same two guards at the checkpoint, but I think she said they'd be off shift and kind of looking into the matter anyway.

[Shawn Howard]

Alright, well, if we find either of these individuals, you can use your code words then. Once we can be sure we can trust them. Let's set up some kind of ambush at the church.

[Holly Billinghurst]

How much time is this going to cost us in terms of trying to find the dwarves, though?

[Peter Lewis]

Likely too long. But we already committed to spending the night here. Gael, are you gonna finish that?

[Holly Billinghurst]

Gael slides over her goose no, brother, you. You carry on. I've had my fill.

[Peter Lewis]

Qom digs in. Okay, so let's split up. Because nothing bad ever happened in a horror story when they split up. I'll look for sign. You guys can go to the church. I'll find you.

[Holly Billinghurst]

It didn't end particularly well for us the last time we stepped into a church.

[Shawn Howard]

Lam and I will visit the Chapel of the sun and inquire their standing with the guard.

[Peter Lewis]

Perhaps if they're going to do.

[Shawn Howard]

If there are more religious or more devout people, people within the guard, perhaps we find out who those people are, tell them about the ambush, and then the. The good guards meet the bad guards, and the hunters then become the hunted.

[Peter Lewis]

I like that idea. I. I thought we were the hunters.

[Holly Billinghurst]

Well, we're the hunters of the hunters, clearly.

[Shawn Howard]

Yes. Yeah.

[Peter Lewis]

If we can pull that off, I will be a very happy undead man. Didn't I seem to remember somebody mentioning that although the Chapel of the sun is dedicated to the God Celagon, there are some less than savory characters hanging about, so maybe watch your back. And if it looks like Rowena and Sindri are in fact still there, don't engage them until I return.

[Holly Billinghurst]

Well, if we can get the congregation to take up arms, that's certainly a plus in my eyes.

[Shawn Howard]

I think so. Yeah. Let's just roll with it, see what happens.

[Peter Lewis]

Yeah. Are you gonna finish that goose, Iltrix?

[Shawn Howard]

Yes.

[Travis Vengroff]

Sorin departed in a sequence that had to be cut for episode runtime, in which he searched for Officer Syne and shared a tense conversation over ice cream. Notably, Officer Syne misread the nature of the non romantic tension, but appreciated the ice cream and information nonetheless, agreeing to help with the coming ambush. Meanwhile, in the Temple district, Glom, Gale and Ildryx arrived at the Chapel of the Sun, a large structure with grand circular windows boasting remarkable works of stained glass depictions of Celagon, the Lord of Light, and the heroic acts of his followers. Just inside the entrance was a friendly older man with graying hair and a small hunch, giving a small blessing over a baby in the loving arms of two young women. While the team waited for his business to conclude, they overheard that his name was Father Dormund, and after a small prayer to the mourning Lord was given. The family departed and the old human man looked to greet the team.

[Russ Gold]

Greetings from God. I'm sorry to have kept you. Welcome to the home of Celagon. Here in order. How can I help you this evening?

[Shawn Howard]

Father, we are. We are new to the city here and have heard some troubling news.

[Russ Gold]

Have you come here to pray? Then I would be glad to hold an evening service.

[Shawn Howard]

Perhaps in time. Perhaps in time.

[Russ Gold]

Okay.

[Shawn Howard]

We have some. Some questions for you first.

[Russ Gold]

For me? I would be happy to share the workings of the gods with you freely.

[Shawn Howard]

What do you know of? Or. No, that's not a good question.

[Russ Gold]

Do you mind if I sweep while we have this discussion? I don't mean to be rude. I just rarely have the opportunity.

[Shawn Howard]

Oh yeah, please. Might. Might I help? Do you have another broom?

[Russ Gold]

That is kind of you here actually. How about I use that one? This one's a bit larger. More your size. There we go.

[Shawn Howard]

Thank you. I carry on sweeping and say it's come to our attention that there are very few people of faith. The faith of Celagon, here in Odyn.

[Russ Gold]

Well our Lord always has been less popular in Eastwood because some elements within the faith, the main religion, religious body in Eastwood have not been friendly towards the old gods. A bit hypocritical given that they also rightly call the divine pantheon a family.

[Shawn Howard]

My question to you is who among our lightly coven can I trust with a personal matter? I fear that I need help in a physical sense for a physical job that I have. And I need someone strong within the church or who the church could rely on to help me with this sort of thing. And ideally that are trusted by the Lord. Lord Celagon.

[Russ Gold]

Well yes, we do have a few loyal followers who'd be happy to help our brethren out. One such fellow runs a tavern called the Lonely Devil Inn. He's very discreet, talented, and I even dare to use the word honorable as he was a former Eastman and listener.

[Peter Lewis]

Stymie.

[Russ Gold]

Yes. His name is Steiny. He's one of the few regulars I would call reliable who's still in town.

[Shawn Howard]

How many people work at this church? Are there priests?

[Russ Gold]

No, sadly I'm the only one. I have an assistant from the historical society who helps maintain the building, but that's about it. Even our congregation is quite small and unfortunately not fitting for such a grand structure.

[Shawn Howard]

Father, who do you have that protects you if some trouble happens here at the church?

[Russ Gold]

The Lord of Light always comes to my aid.

[Shawn Howard]

And when the Lord of Light is busy on Another line. Who within the city might you go ask for help from?

[Peter Lewis]

Huh.

[Russ Gold]

That's a strange line of questioning. I had an assistant here for a while, a young man named Payne. Silly name. I know. He'd been working with me for some time. Bit of a drinking problem, which is how I suspect he ended up being homeless. But he's recently departed from our service. I'd like to believe that he was a good man because he helped aid us when we were being bullied. Long story. I'd rather skip for now. And Payne also protected members of our congregation when their businesses were in similar peril. As I said, he left though. But despite being down one good man, we still have Stynie.

[Shawn Howard]

And he runs the Lonely Devil Inn.

[Russ Gold]

Yes, Father.

[Shawn Howard]

I hope you remain safe here. We will go talk to Steiny and see if we can't figure out something else to do with the. The injustices.

[Russ Gold]

Hold on just a moment. You make it sound like I'm in danger or something. Is there something you're not telling me?

[Shawn Howard]

Some tellings of people is that some of the members of the guard might be looking to hurt followers of Celagon. But as we have come to find out, you are the only one of note.

[Russ Gold]

Is this because of Brother West Pine?

[Shawn Howard]

Maybe. When did he get back?

[Russ Gold]

He was here only briefly. He said he had business to attend to. We didn't realize that he was a criminal until he'd already departed. Of course.

[Peter Lewis]

Gael.

[Holly Billinghurst]

Yes, Brother.

[Peter Lewis]

So did we. I'm confused.

[Holly Billinghurst]

I believe we may have misguidedly endangered the life of a priest.

[Peter Lewis]

Got it. Yes, that's what I thought.

[Travis Vengroff]

After a series of poor sanity saving throws at this revelation, the siblings each gained 10 stress sure that given their track record, they had just condemned this man to a very grim fate.

[Shawn Howard]

What we're saying is, Father, we need to find you protection. Gonna be blunt about it.

[Holly Billinghurst]

And preferably from the guards too.

[Russ Gold]

I didn't do anything wrong. I didn't know he was a criminal. I only wanted to help him get back to his family.

[Shawn Howard]

Yeah, we understand, don't we, Glom? But I don't think that's. Nevertheless, events seem to have been put into motion that will put your life in danger. Through no fault of our own. So maybe we all go talk to Steiny.

[Peter Lewis]

Maybe you should come with us, Father.

[Shawn Howard]

You can leave the church be for a minute. We'll come right back.

[Russ Gold]

I will join you. Just let me lock up.

[Travis Vengroff]

Father Dormund locked the church. And as the team made their way toward the Lonely Devil, innocent Glom unexpectedly caught Sight of Soren.

[Peter Lewis]

Is that Soren?

[Shawn Howard]

I just.

[Peter Lewis]

I've been seeing things ever since those chocolates. Oh, Soren. Soren. Over here. We're here with the Father of Celagon or something. The. The Father.

[Shawn Howard]

The Father.

[Holly Billinghurst]

Yes, the Father. But maybe we shouldn't say it so loudly.

[Peter Lewis]

Got it.

[Holly Billinghurst]

Apparently, he's not got many followers of any kind at all.

[Shawn Howard]

None. There might be one who's a drunkard.

[Peter Lewis]

Not that I have anything against that.

[Russ Gold]

I never said he was a drunk.

[Holly Billinghurst]

Totally an alcoholic. But he's got a heart of gold or something.

[Shawn Howard]

How'd it go with Officer Sign?

[Peter Lewis]

After she realized that the meeting was not of a romantic nature. It went well. She said she'd dig into Rennis and meet us at the church at 10. The ice cream was also really good. Four and one half stars.

[Shawn Howard]

That's the sound of us not getting rested tonight.

[Peter Lewis]

Father, this is Soren. He spent too much time on the beach, as you can see by my complexion. Good to meet you, Father Soren.

[Russ Gold]

As in the friend of Brother West?

[Peter Lewis]

Pipe I was, long ago, yes. Have you seen him?

[Russ Gold]

Oh, thank the light. Yes, he was. Well, he was here not too long ago. I didn't know that they were with you, or I'd have. He and the others should be on their way safely to Westman's hold, certainly.

[Peter Lewis]

The others being Ms. Redhair, Delvin, etc.

[Russ Gold]

Yes. Anne Payne. Not in Payne. My former assistant who's named Payne, departed with them.

[Holly Billinghurst]

Your assistant is, sir? The pardon me, drunkard we've been hearing about?

[Russ Gold]

Many individuals turn to the bottle to cope with being left with themselves when sober. He's a very hard worker.

[Peter Lewis]

And why did he go with them?

[Russ Gold]

They required a way out of the city very quickly.

[Peter Lewis]

A magical way, I assume.

[Russ Gold]

I'm unsure. Magic is expensive. While I had thought of a way they could escape, I believe they ran to some trouble. Trouble with the guards before they could reach it.

[Peter Lewis]

What was your escape plan?

[Russ Gold]

Audyn was originally a dwarven surface hold. And like many of their holds, it contains a few secret passages that go from one point to another. One or two such passages go some ways beyond the city walls and, well, I admittedly know one that the city guard should legally be made aware of, but that they have not been as yet.

[Peter Lewis]

Very good to know. So if it comes down to it, we may have a way out of the city that others don't have access to.

[Russ Gold]

Of course. Anything for a friend. A friend of Brother Westpike's.

[Peter Lewis]

And when Father west pike was here, were you aware of his list of supposed crimes?

[Russ Gold]

They're false. He told me as much. And I've known him for many, many years. He's not a liar.

[Peter Lewis]

And you mentioned that they're headed out to the Westman's hold. As far as you know.

[Russ Gold]

Yes, to see his wife and daughter. He has been away from home for something like my entire lifetime. Maybe two lifetimes. It will be good for him to finally see his family.

[Peter Lewis]

I think so. Just so you're aware, sometime between midnight and now, an assorted bag of mixed cultists, guards and mercenaries should be arriving at the church to kidnap a priest of Celagon, which appears to be you, Father.

[Russ Gold]

I'm not sure why anyone would want to kidnap me. I don't get it.

[Peter Lewis]

It's fine. One can never really understand the reasoning of Mad Men or the beautiful colors painted on the the other side of the void. I believe you mentioned a few people to my comrades who may be able to help.

[Russ Gold]

Yes, Steiny, who runs the Lonely Devil Inn.

[Peter Lewis]

It seems wise that you should stay near our tallest friend here in the event you need to hide at least.

[Shawn Howard]

Hopefully this Steiny has some friends with bows. With. With bows and.

[Peter Lewis]

And carpenters.

[Shawn Howard]

Yes.

[Russ Gold]

Okay.

[Shawn Howard]

Wait, what?

[Russ Gold]

Sorry. So I wait here with the tall one whilst you two.

[Peter Lewis]

Oh, you should come with us.

[Shawn Howard]

Yeah, you're gonna want to probably come with us.

[Russ Gold]

Okay.

[Travis Vengroff]

And again, for the sake of runtime, because some elements that make an enjoyable game don't always translate to an enjoyable podcast. A half hour later, the team was concluding their conversation with Steiny within the rather mundane, yet thin walls of the Lonely Devil Inn's parlor. Steinie, a retired Eastman soldier who made jokes at the team's expense involving handshakes and his removable prosthetic arm and fake scre, fit in with the team quickly and said that he felt that he had new friends within the Odyn City Guard that would ensure Rennus would have no opportunities to escape justice should the captain not personally be present at midnight. A pleased sigh left his tired smile as Ildrix quietly pondered who this human reminded him of.

[Russ Gold]

The Son of the East.

[Shawn Howard]

Dreamland surely guides you.

[Peter Lewis]

Is there anything more we need speak of before we depart? Yes, we need carpenters that you can trust.

[Shawn Howard]

Yeah, I know a decent one, but.

[Peter Lewis]

It'Ll be tough to get him on such short notice. What for? Just have him come to the. To that. To the church. Where are we? Wait, are we still doing the meeting guys? Or are we abandoning to the church?

[Shawn Howard]

So we got to take him back to the Church? Yeah.

[Peter Lewis]

Yes. Yeah, sure. I'll pick him up kicking and screaming like a fox coated cadger. And I'll see you at the church. Easy peasy.

[Shawn Howard]

Eldrix is gonna go back to the church with Father.

[Peter Lewis]

The only Celagon person.

[Shawn Howard]

The only Celagon person in town.

[Peter Lewis]

So we cut to an A team segue where we're building all these little walls and slots and hidden little things that can pop down so we can have people jump out and surprise, wait, glum.

[Shawn Howard]

So the plan is to ambush them from behind theater props.

[Peter Lewis]

Brilliant plan.

[Shawn Howard]

Brilliant plan.

[Holly Billinghurst]

Okay, sidebar with. With this Father. What's his name? I'm really confused now. Did he help Rowena escape? Because she and her crew are really freaking evil.

[Shawn Howard]

That's a. That's a Soren side plot. We're. We'll get there. We'll get there.

[Holly Billinghurst]

Does he deserve to be kidnapped and sacrificed? Then? I'm calling moral judgments on this.

[Peter Lewis]

I don't think so. It seems like he's just a nice guy who trusted the wrong people. Playing with the spirit box. Still debating if it can potentially work in combination with the magic lantern. Just thinking out loud. And Glom is sighing.

[Travis Vengroff]

Glom and the carpenter working side by side would work off Glom's role to see how good his hiding place would be and how fantastic his traps would work.

[Peter Lewis]

Critical fail.

[Travis Vengroff]

And Glom's hidden bastion was perfect.

[Peter Lewis]

Perfect.

[Shawn Howard]

Oh, shit.

[Travis Vengroff]

Absolutely perfect. Glom was ready. The carpenter had been paid 5 copper, a steal in Glom's eyes, plus 5 silver for the wood, which contained some scrap pieces of fine shiplap and pine.

[Holly Billinghurst]

Gael looks on at the creation that Glom has made and says, Glom, father would be so proud of you.

[Peter Lewis]

Really. That means a lot to me, Gael. Thank you.

[Russ Gold]

It's. It's. It certainly is something. I think I'll go pray with the time I have left.

[Shawn Howard]

That might not be a bad idea, Father, but while we're about to hide in places that aren't Glom's wacky murder tree thing, I'd like to say, Father, we're gonna try. We're gonna. We're gonna keep you safe. You're gonna be fine. We've saved many people within the last two weeks. And all the people that we've tried to save, we've saved.

[Peter Lewis]

And a goat.

[Shawn Howard]

Actually, it was a sheep. And sometimes saving something means that you have to stab it to death. But we saved his mattress.

[Peter Lewis]

And sure, there was that one kid that I personally killed, but that's not really important right now.

[Shawn Howard]

That was in a past life. It's fine.

[Peter Lewis]

Thank you.

[Russ Gold]

Why don't we move you into the pews? It should be easy enough to hide there, even for one as large as yourself.

[Peter Lewis]

Oh, and if you get abducted, don't tell them about any of our plans.

[Russ Gold]

I don't even know any of your plans.

[Holly Billinghurst]

Please, just stay concealed, be quiet and get into position. Yeah, okay.

[Russ Gold]

Even should your heavenly strength dull time.

[Travis Vengroff]

Crept by the pews of the old church as Father Dormund prayed. Officer Sein, Steiny, Gael, Ildryx and Glom sat in shadowed anticipation for their quarry to arrive while Sorin stood sentinel on the main road expectantly. Eventually, nine armored hooded figures illuminated by torchlight approached. Led by Captain Rennes, they greeted Sorin, who made no attempt to conceal his whereabouts.

[Peter Lewis]

Good evening, Sorin.

[Travis Vengroff]

As they drew closer, Sorin appraised each of the figures carefully with a perception and religion check, noting various trinkets and tattoos that would indicate them as followers of Ukathe, Othgul, and perhaps even Ferrati. But could not find any indication of loyalty to the nameless God or the cult he had been told they followed.

[Peter Lewis]

This is it. I thought there were more. On such short notice. Yes, these are our best men. These are mercenaries. I told you to bring your most faithful servants. Yes, well, you'll find that there are very few of us who are truly faithful here in Odyn. The rest of our help comes in the form of those who are faithful to Coin. You won't find a finer team. And four of them are actual guards of the the low division.

[Holly Billinghurst]

Honor and blood.

[Peter Lewis]

Zarn.

[Holly Billinghurst]

It's good to see you again.

[Travis Vengroff]

Sorin looked down to see a halfling woman. Clearly a physically imposing warrior despite her diminutive nature. Armed with a pendulum headed long axe. Her curious green eyes, brighter than any he'd seen before, were framed between dark long hair, a wide grin and tattoos that clearly marked her devotion to the war goddess Ukathe. There was genuine familiarity. Pleasant, plain on her face, yes. But Sorin felt confident that their paths had not crossed.

[Peter Lewis]

Good to. Good to see you again. Right. I'm sorry. How do we know each other?

[Holly Billinghurst]

He helped us clear the temple a few months ago. It's okay.

[Travis Vengroff]

You told us you'd probably not remember us.

[Holly Billinghurst]

And to say stewed pineapple porcupine so you'd know I was telling you the truth. I'm Genevieve's fine trout. Daughter of Ukathe and a friend.

[Travis Vengroff]

That's Grimit.

[Shawn Howard]

Hey Soren.

[Peter Lewis]

Good to know. I'll have to remember to thank My past self. Did I say anything else?

[Holly Billinghurst]

Not about this.

[Peter Lewis]

Okay, let's maybe stick toward the back of the group as we walk inside.

[Shawn Howard]

Sure. You got any more weird stories?

[Travis Vengroff]

The door opened and nine guards led by Captain Rennes accompanied Sir Sorin, making a direct path toward Father Dormund.

[Russ Gold]

Good evening. Can I help you?

[Peter Lewis]

Are you Father Dormund?

[Russ Gold]

Yes, that would be me.

[Holly Billinghurst]

Psst.

[Peter Lewis]

Eldritch is nine soldiers too many. How many do we have?

[Shawn Howard]

We've got 1, 2, 3, 4.

[Peter Lewis]

4. Of course 4, 5.

[Shawn Howard]

Is Sion here? Where did Sign go?

[Holly Billinghurst]

I'm here. She's just hidden.

[Shawn Howard]

Glam Sign is right there. You can see her feet underneath the curtain there. And then with the Father and Steinie, I think we're up to like 7.

[Holly Billinghurst]

Rennus is with them alright.

[Peter Lewis]

Do you think we can take them?

[Shawn Howard]

Yeah, we'll be fine.

[Travis Vengroff]

Just stay quiet.

[Peter Lewis]

And Glom jumps up and fires his bow.

[Shawn Howard]

Ah, shit.

[Peter Lewis]

So 20. Not natural.

[Travis Vengroff]

Surprising everyone, including his teammates, Glom jumped up from his hiding place, releasing two arrows back to back into two of the guards, hitting the closest guard directly through his teeth. Kill him instead. And catching the other guard in the shoulder for four damage. Their weapons were drawn in the confusion, Sorin slit the wounded man's throat, dropping him to his knees before the pews to bleed out. Gale, moving quickly to join her brother, fired an Eldritch blast at Captain Rennus, but missing and instead sending a blast of crackling energy into the far stone wall. Ildrix, wasting no time, launched himself in the pews and put himself between the soldiers and Father Dormund, landing between the orc and striking him with a series of lightning fast claws to the groin, heart and throat that felled him quickly and efficiently. Gasping for breath and losing consciousness, Ildrix dodged the incoming swipes of the nearest soldiers, while Sorin weighed his options and decided to remain covert, half heartedly throwing a blade at Captain Rennes, who didn't see where the attack came from, but still blocked the incoming blade. All the same, Glom, still shaking from the tense stress he'd gained from murdering a human of the crown, threw his bow down and charged Captain Rennes.

[Peter Lewis]

2210 damage.

[Travis Vengroff]

Slashing deep through a gap in the armor's shoulder, cutting a glowing red into Renais green and gold tunic. Meanwhile, Steinie and Sin moved into the fray to engage the other soldiers, exchanging blows within the melee as the smell of blood and iron grew stronger with each heaving breath. The soldiers were now aware of their situation in full, but were unable to form a proper battle formation because of the surrounding pews. One particularly brave soldier swung and grazed Glom, the bite of steel not even registering as Glom continued his assault on Captain Rennus, slamming the soldier's shield as a distraction before cutting into his upper leg, his blade hungering for fl get.

[Peter Lewis]

The priest and escape.

[Travis Vengroff]

Gael saw an opportunity and used her magics to slam three of the heavy pews in front of the main door, knocking one of the soldiers off balance in the process and successfully blocking a potential escape path. Hildrix used this distraction to strike the next guard in the face with a hook kick for six damage as Steiny flew into a rage, clotheslining the same with his dueling shield, a wide two handed shield that ended in a spear like head with a curved blade, nearly decapitating her before stabbing downward at the pointed end of the shield multiple times, piercing vital organs and ending her life. Officer Sein caught Captain Rennes squarely in the chest with her blade, piercing his armor and dropping him temporarily to one knee in a coughing fit of blood. But the captain would not go down that easily and returned the favor, dropping his shield for a two handed grip, catching Sein off guard and slashing her in the side of the face. Soren used this opportunity to extend a hand toward the soldier down by Gale's pew and betraying his trust at the last second, using his blade to slice open the man's inner arm from the elbow to the wrist, but before stabbing him terminally twice in the face for good measure, the halfling woman, Genevieve engaged Glom and Officer Syne simultaneously, leaving a series of fresh wounds on her opponents. While the remaining two men, skilled as they were, were no match for the defenses of Glom, Ildryx, Sein, and Steinie. At that moment, Gael unleashed a fraction of her anger into Captain Rennes in the form of another blast, crackling loudly across the church and ripping the man's leg clean off, sending him sprawling on the floor in shock to bleed out, which he did within seconds with a natural 20. Gael's murder of someone she believed to be evil earned her the recovery of forced dress. But Ildrix hesitated in this moment, theorizing that they may wish to keep some of the men intact for questioning, and with these reservations, missed the opportunity to land a solid attack. Meanwhile, Sorin, similarly unsure of the best course of action, attempted to strike but not cut Genevieve, deciding it was better to miss her than potentially kill his possible friend and ally.

[Peter Lewis]

Gloom is beyond enraged now and headbutts.

[Travis Vengroff]

Her with a 10 between sparking flashes as metal connected in Heated bouts, heads connected with a 10 glom found that Genevieve's head was particularly tough. Sometimes it just happens like that. And this allowed Gale to clearly see her target and cast another spell from just beyond view of her brother. One which caused Genevieve to instantly fall into a deep, deep sleep sign. And Soren worked together with bow and blade to make short work of the second to last soldier. Over the next 18 seconds, while Steinie disengaged one of the hidden blades from his sh. Tackled the remaining soldier, and hacked the man's flailing arms, face and chest. Even well after all movements ceased, the rage within the old veteran refused to give. Or perhaps these events had pulled him into memories from another time and place. In either instance, combat, at least for everyone else, had ceased.

[Peter Lewis]

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Yeah. Hey. It's okay. Okay? Actually, it's never going to be okay.

[Russ Gold]

But we won.

[Peter Lewis]

And it will fade.

[Travis Vengroff]

Steiny looked from the ruined body beneath him to his surroundings and slowly stood, finding a distraction with the ropes he brought with him and the unconscious guards.

[Shawn Howard]

Yep. Well, I think that went really well.

[Peter Lewis]

Yep. Totally the plan.

[Holly Billinghurst]

Absolutely. Just exactly as we planned it. Was it really part of the plan to kill the ringleader? Most of these seem like hired mercs. I doubt we'll be able to get any information out of them.

[Peter Lewis]

Oh, but we can still get information out of Rennis. What? Follow me over here. We can ask him any questions you want. The rest of you figure out what we're doing next.

[Travis Vengroff]

Sorin and Officer Syne dragged the corpse of the deceased Rennus to a back room. Light from a certain lantern flickered to life just as the door closed behind them.

[Shawn Howard]

So I feel like even though we killed a few members of the City Guard, that we're still pretty much in the right here.

[Russ Gold]

I can speak to what happened here.

[Shawn Howard]

Well, that's one problem dealt with then and here.

[Holly Billinghurst]

I was worried that we'd be wanted for murder.

[Russ Gold]

What is your friend doing?

[Peter Lewis]

Something that has to be done, Father. Sometimes it's best to not ask questions.

[Holly Billinghurst]

Glum. Are you okay? Oh, you have a few cups? Let me patch you up.

[Peter Lewis]

I'm okay. I'm. Stop. Ow. Stop it.

[Russ Gold]

It tickles.

[Shawn Howard]

I.

[Peter Lewis]

Look. I mean, you're not. I'm trying. You're making me look like. Nothing to see here. What are you all looking at?

[Shawn Howard]

So when the guards come back, we'll tell them that this has all just been an accident.

[Russ Gold]

A horrible accident.

[Shawn Howard]

Yes, horrible. There was broom handles involved. People just fell down on them.

[Russ Gold]

The floor was so Slippery.

[Shawn Howard]

So slick.

[Russ Gold]

But what about the ones that are still alive? Well, I tied them up and more.

[Peter Lewis]

Guards should be here within an hour.

[Shawn Howard]

Yep.

[Peter Lewis]

Oh, fuck.

[Russ Gold]

Then perhaps we should remove the pews from the door.

[Shawn Howard]

Good.

[Peter Lewis]

Don't care. It appears that we've killed a few of the cult's members tonight, but. But that more of them are still in different hiding spots around the city. Officer Syne here has more than enough information and evidence to get an investigation underway. However, we believe that Father Dorman's life may still be in danger and it's probably worth taking a few months vacation somewhere warm. Or at least far away.

[Russ Gold]

I believe that would be best. Yes.

[Peter Lewis]

And as for us, we need to continue our journey north as soon as possible. If it seems to avoid drawing suspicion on my cover as a member of this cult.

[Holly Billinghurst]

That makes sense.

[Shawn Howard]

So we're leaving tonight.

[Peter Lewis]

No more those warlock hexes. Fireballs. It seems Truly a tragedy.

[Holly Billinghurst]

No hearth or fluffy bed.

[Shawn Howard]

Oh, we're not gonna get our gold back either.

[Holly Billinghurst]

I appreciate your help. Eastwood appreciates your help. Tonight I can maybe help you get out of the city undetected, but we'll have to disguise you to get past the checkpoints. I think there's an entertainer's wagon still around that belonged to a somewhat famous jester who passed through a few weeks ago. A clown, eh?

[Shawn Howard]

So, tunnels, I mean, that's an option too.

[Russ Gold]

I would be more than happy to guide you through them, seeing as my life is also in danger.

[Peter Lewis]

Beautiful.

[Shawn Howard]

Father Durmond, are you coming with us?

[Russ Gold]

Well, if you don't feel that I'm too much of a burden, I'd be happy to accompany you. North. At least until we reach a city we feel is far enough to be safe.

[Shawn Howard]

Probably a good idea.

[Holly Billinghurst]

That's fine by me. A priest of the Light God should be useful, especially when traveling at night.

[Peter Lewis]

Officer Syne Steiny, we appreciate your help. Good luck rounding up the last of these ruffians. We're off to hunt other quarry.

[Holly Billinghurst]

Thank you again, Soren.

[Peter Lewis]

Always glad to help when I can. May the light guide your path.

[Russ Gold]

So as we'll we'll be leaving the city through the tunnels. I can get us out on the north side or the east side. Do you have a preference?

[Shawn Howard]

I think we're heading toward the Frost Iron Mountains to Westman's Hold. So, East.

[Russ Gold]

So the mountain range known as the Frost Irne Mountains extends rather far from the east all the way to the far, far northwest in a sort of crescent shape.

[Peter Lewis]

Mm.

[Russ Gold]

We're at the bottom tip of that Crescent. And there are a few different holes within the mountains. Strathmund's hold is the the closest that I've been to Kingshold's, A little bit further along in the eastmost mountains too. And near the other far end of the Crescent, within the border barony of Anasco, is Westmanshold. Kind of isolated and on the border of the North Realm.

[Peter Lewis]

And you believe that Father west pike was headed there?

[Russ Gold]

Yes. And if you're trying to get there quickly, I would suggest heading through northern Halendria, the capital realm.

[Holly Billinghurst]

That's sad. From everything I've heard, Westman's hold is truly a shitty place to visit.

[Russ Gold]

It's where his family is. It's where he's from.

[Peter Lewis]

All right. To Westmanshold then.

[Travis Vengroff]

From just outside the church, the gaunt form of a pale elf approached desperation clear in his sunken eyes.

[Peter Lewis]

Pardon me, sir.

[Travis Vengroff]

Sirs. Would you happen to be Father Dorman? Oh, I'm unarmed and I mean you no harm. I just had a couple of questions regarding a man you might know as Payne.

[Russ Gold]

I'm Father Dormund. May I inquire who you might be?

[Travis Vengroff]

Dark Dice Chapter 21 the Last Laugh Starring Peter Lewis as Soren Arkwright, Holly Billinghurst and Shawn Howard as Galen Glam Vogelberg, Rusty Moore as Ildryx and featuring Ariana Rosario as Officer Sein, Russ Gold as Father Fatelsh, Tanya Wheelock as Lucas, the serving Boy and Genevieve Kitty Kaboom as Swamilaskar e. Kal Varya Saintsar the 23rd Sean Daniel Francis as Captain Rennis, Jack Houghton as Steiny Cain, Kareem Cromfli as Father Doorman, Michael Pollock as Grammet, Robert Clotworthy as Clymore and Travis Vengrough as Dungeon Master. This episode was produced and edited with sound design by Travis Fengroff, mixing and mastering by Finner Nielsen and executive producers Carol Van Groff, Michael Villegas, AJ Punkin and Dennis Greenhild. This episode featured music by Stephen Millin and Travis Van Grof. To support this production and get access to bonus releases, music world lore, art and early access to future adventures in D and D materials, please join our [e-mail] FoolAndScholar. You can also find us on social media, arkdicepod or on TikTok as FoolAndScholar. This is a Fool and Scholar production. Thank you for listening.

[Peter Lewis]

The Old west is an iconic period of American history and full of legendary figures whose names still resonate today, like.

[Travis Vengroff]

Jesse James, Billy the Kid and Butch and Sundance.

[Shawn Howard]

Sitting Bull, Crazy Horse and Geronimo Wyatt.

[Peter Lewis]

Earp, Bat Masterson and Bass Reeves, Buffalo Bill Cody, Wild Bill Hickok, the Texas Rangers and many more. Hear all their stories on the Legends of the Old west podcast. We'll take you to Tombstone, Deadwood and Dodge City to the plains, mountains and deserts for battles between the U.S. army and native American warriors to dark corners.

[Shawn Howard]

For the disaster of the Donner Party.

[Peter Lewis]

And shining summits for achievements like the Transcontinental Railroad. We'll go back to the earliest days of explorers and mountain men and head up through notorious Pinkerton agents and gunmen like Tom Horn. Every episode features narrative writing and cinematic music, and there are hundreds of episodes available to binge. I'm Chris Wimmer. Find Legends of the Old west wherever you're listening. Now hear the most popular fiction podcast of all time, which the New York Times described as what might occur if David lynch was a producer at your local radio station. Station welcome to Nightvale is a twice monthly update from a small desert town where the paranormal is real, every conspiracy theory is true. We all have to get on with our lives. Anyway, welcome to Night Vale is available wherever you get your podcasts.